Threedom - Threevisiting: Ice Cream Please

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss middle school dances and begin an M&M tasting challenge, before playing One Word Impressions. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Thre...etures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Oh my gosh! That was you? And you can't hear yourself. Well guess what? We can hear you and that was... walking...
Starting point is 00:00:23 Wow. Ooh. Welcome to Freedom, everyone! Well guess what, we can hear you and that was fucking loud. Welcome to Freedom, everyone. The show where Paul screams like a metal god. For ice cream, like a metal god. Of course. Well, that's the last time. Is that how they learned how to scream in metal singing
Starting point is 00:00:39 is they wanted ice cream? Yes, ice cream like a metal god for ice cream, use cream like a metal god for ice cream, we always go like, oh my God, right. Queen of the Rock! Oh my God. Ice cream. Yes, ice cream like a metal godfrey ice cream. Use cream like a metal godfrey ice cream. We always go like, oh my god, right. Queen of the Rock! Oh my god. Ice cream, please. Ice cream, please.
Starting point is 00:00:50 What have I said to the truck every time? What if Rob Halford from Judas Priest, he comes off stage every concert. He's like ice cream, please. It's my reward, Edy. Ah, good old Rob Halford and good old three, then we are back. Welcome back to the show. My name is Lauren Lap Oh, good old Rob Halford and good old three to we are back. Welcome back to the show.
Starting point is 00:01:07 My name is Lauren Lapke. Good old Rob Halford. My name is Paul Evtomkin. My name is Skotalkerman. And this is the show, of course, with the pretzel gang. We talked to interesting people. No, we're the pretzel gang. We're the interesting people. We are interesting people the pretzel gang. We're the three of boys.
Starting point is 00:01:25 We are interesting people. And we are talking. You know what? It's the show where interesting people talk. It's the show where interesting people talk to each other. That's right. So three interesting people gathered. Three interesting.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Yep. Interesting. What's everyone's baseline mood right now? Weird. Weird. Everything's weird. I don't know if it'll be weird when this episode comes out. We are, of course, taping a bit in advance. Probably by the time this comes out. Nothing will be weird anymore. Everything will be normal by then.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Well, I've forgotten everything that was weird. Weird? Weird. Hey, weird. Do you want to tell your weird story? It's immortalized forever. How is it? In laboring under delusions. Oh, that's right. I don't know what that is.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I don't like your standards. It's my comedy special. Oh, I do know what that is. Believe me, Scott, I know. I've seen it, then. Have you really? I think so. I've seen all your stuff, I think.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Are you sure? Including his penis? That's a big part of my stuff. I mean, I think I have. I've seen a handful of specials and stand up. They've seen them all. I mean, I've seen, okay. How many can you fit in your hand?
Starting point is 00:02:32 Driving, driving while crying is out. Crying, quick. Crying and driving. Okay, close. Closer. Okay. But I've seen one from like probably the 90s. Driven, oh my God God where I drink the beer
Starting point is 00:02:46 Yeah, that's on HBO I think yes, why did you see that do we ever talk about this? What do you do I know I know what I mean? Did you see it while we have known each other? Probably both what if she's a super fan like I probably saw it before I knew you and probably Right, what if it all comes out now that she's the biggest Paul I'm literally love to watch anything my friends are in I would watch entire Series how'd you enjoy that 110 episode comedy bang I didn't watch all 110 I did watch the ones you were I saw those for sure But I saw a few others for sure
Starting point is 00:03:21 We're downgraded to a few now like Like mine. You saw mine. I saw yours. I had to check out my paw. We never got to do it together. I know, because Scott hates fun. Yeah, I don't want to watch you two doing it together. I beg your pardon. Because it's too fun. How was the driving thing, a motif that you were going for?
Starting point is 00:03:42 Driving and crying, driven to drink. And then wait, do you have one more? Yes, yes. You have one more, don't you? I bookended my career. First, special and last, last. Car crash. Do you have one more?
Starting point is 00:03:52 Uh, yes, you should have told me. And what was that like, while drive? It looked like, where was that? That, you should have told me, you know what, but that story takes place in a car. Oh, interesting. You're obsessed. You're obsessed. You're obsessed.
Starting point is 00:04:04 You're fucking weirdo. I'm like're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. You're up. and cars making up with the tune. I do specials in car. Do do do do do do do do do. So why do you feel weird Paul? Oh, I'll say this. So you know, I've caught a yacht on all my COVID adventures. That's right. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:40 And by the way, I heard a, I heard an update about that. I don't know if you got the same update, but I heard that it was a false pause. No, I didn't hear that. Yes, no way. It texted you. I assumed you knew and I just didn't.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Cassiopeia told you? Yeah. They're not sending you this guy's personal medical history. I'm sorry, that's important though. If you don't know who it was, they could have said like it was nervous because you were inside. And then if you found out no who it was, they could have said like it was. It was nervous because, yeah. And then if you found out no one ever had it, you'd feel lost nervous.
Starting point is 00:05:08 But then after that, so I did tell you about that last day, because I think it was the next day that we were all together. And so since then, I've been like, wait, what happened? I should go,
Starting point is 00:05:18 yeah, I remember. I was like, I should go get a test because I'm not getting those free tests anymore. For just showing up at work. So I should go get a test and I haven't done it. And of course since then, I've been thinking, well, I'm sick. Oh, of course.
Starting point is 00:05:31 I think I have it all the time. I just got tested a couple days ago at Union Station. It's a walk up test. That's where I got married. That's right. I actually said that because I thought that was true. To who? To Mike.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Oh, I think you said to the person testing you. Adieu, let's talk about the work of the day. Do you have 110 episodes of his show or just a few? Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Um, it was, it was easy. And I got my test results within less than 24 hours. Nice.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Okay. Where are you going for what? Dodger Stadium. Yeah, Dodger Stadium. Well, yeah, but they couldn't, I couldn't get a car test as soon as I wanted one, which is why I went to the locker. Oh, I see. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I just wanted to explain myself. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, how I was. I feel like I don't know. I've always had, or something, I don't know. I've never gotten one for that from them for some reason, but then my, someone I work with was like, why? And I kind of was like, I don't know. I don't know why I was standing away from them. Who's this rude person? Oh, this guy.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Oh my God. Remember when you just asked me why I said? I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. But everyone should this year, right? I mean, I know I think it's more important than ever,
Starting point is 00:06:49 but I'm just like, here's a couple of my things I guess. Where'd you go? I went into a Walgreens. Right. Like, I don't want to go stand in line at CBS. No line. Okay. Is Walgreens the same as Walmart? Yeah, they're the same. Okay, got it. Um, so was Paul Walker. It was CVS. I have wondered, are they offshoots just because?
Starting point is 00:07:12 No, no, what? It's CVS, the same as CVS. Yes, they are the same. And, and the VHS also used to be the same. And is, can I tell a story about that? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Is VHS same as Sevious?
Starting point is 00:07:27 Yep. I was listening to just randomly on the radio came... Random. I can't believe it. I put on a soul. A little song. I was so random. Entitled. Things that make you go, hmm.
Starting point is 00:07:39 I love that song. I think I know the whole thing. Okay, well don't spoil the story. Okay. So I'm listening to the story about your life. I'm listening to it here right where we are right now. And I hear the lyrics in the last song. And for those of you who don't know it,
Starting point is 00:07:51 it's kind of a song in the bust-a-move kind of storytelling, like wild thing type song. I went here and she said hi. And they said what? And I said bye. A lot of it is like these people are doing this and they do this. So we tell them a story about like a suspicious woman who thinks that her
Starting point is 00:08:08 man is cheating on her. And one of the lyrics comes up and it's like, and you're wondering who bought him those DVDs. I'm like, it's not DVDs. See? What did I say? Don't spoil it. What did I say?
Starting point is 00:08:22 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. don't spoil it. What did I say? Sorry, but you know something the one time you know something you have to tell everyone. I didn't realize that was the point you were making. You finally retained something. What did you hit yours and you blow it for everyone? What did you think that I would say? That's a spoil. That is not a song. I forgot. Anyway, so I was like, it just sent me into like an hour or two,
Starting point is 00:08:49 like, contemplated. It's spoiled for me by the way. Just contemplating, like what kind of DVDs would be suspicious? First of all, like, first I was like, is it porn DVDs? But why would she think someone bought him porn DVDs as much as just he had porn DVDs flying around?
Starting point is 00:09:05 And I was just thinking about it forever going like, well, who would buy a person DVDs? I looked it up and it's BVDs. Sure. Bel Viv DeVos. Mm-hmm. So they were CDs. But I don't even know what a BVD is.
Starting point is 00:09:19 It's underwear. It's underwear. But I didn't spoil it for you, because I didn't even know. Now you think, wait a minute. It's gonna make up for it by saying you don't know something. That's underwear. But I didn't spoil it for you, because I didn't even know. Now you think, what are you doing? It's gonna make up for it by saying you don't know something. That's your base on. So BVDs, okay, follow you. Why is it?
Starting point is 00:09:32 Why do you think I don't know anything? Try to establish this character. That's not a thing about me. And also BVDs are an underwear. Tell me more. So I just show you. Now you're interested. They were brand, I don't know if they're still existing,
Starting point is 00:09:48 they were a brand of underwear. They were popular in the 90s when the song was popular. It was like, oh, those sex, because, I mean, they were popular in the 90s. Yes, they have text to me, Cassiopia. Crazy, with a picture of her and DVDs in space. It was really, really. But they were, people would talk about them because I think before,
Starting point is 00:10:07 before then, like, underwear was just kind of boring or whatever and then suddenly like BVDs came out and they were like sexy underwear. I thought BVDs was like an old-fashioned underwear. They're old-ages. Mid-rise, they look like super fifties. I don't think that. I don't think it's actually hot.
Starting point is 00:10:23 I think it's, they're not like sexy 90s Calvin Klein issue. You're thinking of Calvin Klein underwear. Oh right. You're thinking of jockey shorts. Wait, so then what? No, I just found what? Circus of cokes.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Pitches of cokes. Before and after. What? Circus of cokes of care, protective cover. So it's underwear that has a plastic dick hole. I think put your dick in. Okay, but BVDs are eight, 1980s vintage three pair white under. So there's a package that says BVD. So why would someone buy him these? I guess because he stained them. You when he was having sex with
Starting point is 00:11:02 her. Wait, is the idea the idea that the lover is providing him with boring underwear and the wife is like, or the girlfriend, whatever she is. She's suspicious because he has new underwear and maybe it's in the 90s wives' box. They're underwear exclusively. Dress to a tee to hang out with the fellas over the guys and I'm getting jealous.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Come at home, late smell and I'm getting jealous coming home late smell night perfume Things that make you go hmm whom now Inspired by the song was inspired by our sineo hall was it not it was a one of his In his monologues on the our sineo hall show he would he would always have a little not always but quite often have a little section where he would talk about things that make you go, which was sort of like, I guess, kind of like Snigwoods in a way. Well, no, Jack Handys, like deep thoughts or whatever, but it was tied to current events, right?
Starting point is 00:11:57 Well, I don't even know if it was, or as much as it was just like, have you ever done this, this, this, and this? Things that make you go, we should just look up.? Things that make you go, hmm, we should just look up. And then the audience would go, hmm, along with him. What the, he would, yes, he would give after, after a cut on, he would give like a little space. So when he would lay his finger aside of his head
Starting point is 00:12:16 as if in deep thought by Jack Handy, the audience would also have a chance to go, hmm, as loudly as they could. You know, whenever I'm thinking my man's cheating, I go, yeah. Hmm, I wonder, he smells like perfume. Hmm, all right, here it is. Someone's bought him dull underwear.
Starting point is 00:12:36 A little Arsenio haul. Some about a three pack. To see exactly how he would do it, because I'm interested in the construction of this. Good. And to see whether it was time to turn to our planet I'm interested in the construction of this wait. That was it. Oh, okay. This video is just I'm saying that I talked through it. No, I mean this was just like him saying things that make you go hmm Okay, here. I mean, that's all you need. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you're right. All right
Starting point is 00:13:07 Proof we proved it we proved it. We proved it, it said it. Remember, this will come out later. Remember when like a month or two ago, Wendy Williams was like, we are afraid of Corknova. Oh, no. Corknova. She said it so confidently. She said it so confidently.
Starting point is 00:13:21 She reads, she doesn't read Trump's tweet, I guess, about don't be afraid of COVID. And then she goes, we are afraid of Kornova. We're very afraid of Kornova. I was like, and the audience go, did she say more than one? Yes, twice. And then I was going, and their masks on there. I truly was, I think, I made. Yeah, made me go. I'm all good. It was, I mean, it was, it was just a few months ago, but we knew so little about it. It was a, I remember going, like, like, Cordova?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Cordova? You mean in March? Yeah. Yeah. Fred Cordova? Cordova? I actually remember listening to a podcast, Oligis, all about,
Starting point is 00:13:59 I'm sure, host of my Hollywood. I'm like March 12th, and I was like, how curious that a bat could start to thing? And then like, how curious that a bat could start to think. And then like, the next day, it just terrifies criminals. For my children's book. Leaching my apples, you know. I never went that far with it. I did, I did spray down my packaged groceries.
Starting point is 00:14:17 I never did it. I have a couple of times. I would wipe them down. Yeah, I don't regret it. But my, I will say my parents. You should regret it. My parents a whole time, and I would wipe them down. Yeah, I don't regret it. But I will say my parents. You should regret it. My parents who might just spent a little time with,
Starting point is 00:14:31 they get out the handy wipes and they wipe down the newspaper. Bo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-wing. Well, I've gotten over the whole thing of like, my packages are gonna kill me, but I do wash my hands after I open the mail, but I'm not like spraying them down. Yeah, I just I wash my hands after I touch anything from the outside.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Yes, I wash my hands after I touch my dirty body. Jeannie. After you touch the Jeannie. You shut up the bitch. Cut to video. I've got poking Jeannie. Hey you. Just in the back.
Starting point is 00:15:02 I still don't like it. Should we make our reservations for the Tamo Shanterdown? Oh man. Oh my god. Nothing fun's ever gonna happen. I know. That was so much fun. But we're here together right now. I know. I know. We're making it happen. We're making it. We are for those of you who have not heard we're in my backyard and we're just doing it together because we didn't want to do it over the internet. I'm three Scott Ockermanns away from Scott's away from Scott. I'm probably four scots away from you Lauren. Yeah, I need to cross water so I kind of feel like the whatever's there. How can you walk on water?
Starting point is 00:15:39 Don't ask me that. Please. I've always wondered. I've always wondered. I thought this was over. Well, I have two questions for you. Yeah. One, do you feel like you're named religious and two, do you feel like you're named the Beatles? I feel like my name is religious
Starting point is 00:15:52 and I feel like my name is the Beatles. And that's why I walk in wonder if I take my shoes off. Have you guys, and Lauren, I probably know the answer to this. But when you grew up, did you ever feel like your name didn't fit you? We've had this conversation. We have had this conversation. The exact conversation? Yes, 100%. Get out the spanking pen, baby. Let's call Shubin, have him drive over with a mask on and spank us from the
Starting point is 00:16:17 speed away. And with a 20 foot long pole. Does anyone remember what my true name is? Domicile? No, it's a name. The illsubbed? For traditional. God. Less traditional. Thomas? No.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Although people do call me Tom by accident, that happens to me a lot. Phil. I don't know. I don't know. We don't have a fill to you. I don't, you don't look like a poll to me. Exactly. You look like a pft.
Starting point is 00:16:53 I want everyone to tweet, Scott and Lauren, what my true name is. Just a plus. Nope. Why should I remember anything we've talked about on this show? Seriously. Hey, I'm not saying you should remember it.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I'm just saying, now that you don't, this is what's going to happen. Okay, will you remember my true name? Althia. No. That was not? No, Althia. Isn't this something like that?
Starting point is 00:17:16 Darithia Allegra. Oh, all right, Robert. Darithia, Lauren Allegra. That's right, allergy medicine. Oh, yeah, and also Allegra's window, the Nickelodeon show, but both of these things were invented after I was born. Allegra the allergy medicine was invented after you were born? I mean, it became a commercial after that.
Starting point is 00:17:31 What about the dance? The Allegra? Yeah. What about the one-boda? Oh, the forbidden dance. Yes. Do you know about the Lamata, Lauren? But it did it did it.
Starting point is 00:17:40 That's too cute. Oh, you do, okay, good. Does that familiar to you, little mama? Little mama, yeah, but I don't know, you know what I mean? Right, I've never seen it. Because like Scott says, I don't know anything, baby. I've never seen it actually in front of me. Do it.
Starting point is 00:17:57 The little mama? Yeah, I've never seen anyone do it. No, you're doing it. The Lord stop, it's for me. Stop it. Come on. It was called the forbidden dance. Why? Because it was so sexual. It was called the Forbidden Dance.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Why? Because it was so sexual. It was so sexual. I don't know that anyone did two movies. You know what they call the Forbidden Dance from my era? No. Grinding your butt on someone's d- What was your first, do you remember your first dance?
Starting point is 00:18:18 Yeah. Like, oh well, you know what? I don't know that I've talked about. Have I talked about Fort Nightly, the ballroom dancing classes I took? No, Fort Nightly. Yes, so this was a thing. It was actually pretty popular probably for- I don't know that I've talked about have I talked about fortnightly the ballroom dancing classes. I took no fortnightly Yes, so this was a thing was actually pretty popular probably for this is the video game. No, I don't know Fortnight, I've never been I didn't know about that. I don't know if I've ever talked about this and sorry if I have but I
Starting point is 00:18:37 Don't remember that I remember in my hometown there was My home called fortnightly and this was a ballroom dancing class that you would take my boys and girls. Fridays, for every Friday night, for like, you know, you know, starting the winter. I don't remember what. But and it was November through probably specifically for a certain kind of mainly white person, but not fully. There was a black guy. It was, I'm sure it cost good amount of money and was a waste of everyone's time.
Starting point is 00:19:11 And it was humiliating. It was humiliating because I had to wear, you had to wear long dress if you were a girl. How long? Past your knees. And so everyone hates that because it looks ugly when you're in middle school. Can you imagine that?
Starting point is 00:19:24 Why does that look ugly when you're in middle school. And then why does that look ugly when you're in middle school? Because your body, it looks matrenly. Because, yeah, I want to wear a cool, no, I was tall, but I want to wear a short dress. Like it's like cool, you know, it wasn't cool to wear a long dress. Now, Maxi dresses are more in, but it was,
Starting point is 00:19:38 Fashion turned to the left. It was, you know where white gloves, I had to wear white gloves. Like arm length gloves, right had to wear white gloves. Like arm length gloves, right? They were short. When were short. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:19:48 And you guys are just trying to learn how to dance or what I'm doing. And we learn how to do the Fox trot, all the different dances. Wow. And the boys had to wear suits and ties. And maybe for the last class or something, but every class. No, every time.
Starting point is 00:20:00 And you had to. So all my dresses were from limited to. It was like they were that fancy, but they're fancy to me. And I would have to dance with boys, but if you didn't get asked by a boy to dance, you had to dance with a girl because they're boys like girls. So we had to learn how to like lead and follow because. And I just remember really distinctly and maybe I have told you this, but I remember really distinctly that there was like a man and woman teacher and the man would say to the guys, grab the grabber back like a football, grab like a shoulder blade, like a football when you put your hand and do the what?
Starting point is 00:20:35 Yeah, let me think about this. So you're back like a football. So huh, you know, like the laces, like you're supposed to, oh, like with two hands? Like with one hand, like you grab the shoulder blades. Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. So like when I'm passing for,
Starting point is 00:20:54 I'm passing for like, you know, 250 yards per game or so. Oh my God. You don't know what you're talking about. Oh. Oh my God. Scott, who are you trying to impress? But then I'm a nerd. I'm a nerd. You're a school dances where you were. Did you
Starting point is 00:21:08 need a football comic book one time? Where you would juke or grind on people. And then there was what a Italian and I was never invited to Cattillion. This was a sort of fancy thing that only cool kids are right to you. And it wasn't. I don't think it costs money, but you had to be cool. Right. And I was never invited to that. And that was like a special sort of fancy dance.
Starting point is 00:21:28 So do you remember the first person you did a dance with? Um, yeah, I remember, I don't remember the first, but I remember the times that I got to dance with my crush in middle school. And he married a girl from that He married a girl from that client. From the dance from Fort Niley. She was there. Yeah. Wow. Did he dance with her that night?
Starting point is 00:21:50 I don't know, but they were friends through high school and then eventually they got married. But it was kind of, I actually googled their wedding website as a stalker would and found out the information that day. Because I was like, I learned they got married and I was like fascinating. And then I went to their website and I read all about how it happened and they were just friends and they never wear anything and then suddenly
Starting point is 00:22:11 they confessed they both had liked each other in middle school. They could have been you. I know but no but it was so much better that it wasn't for many reasons. Really? They're together, yes. I don't know. Oh it's good. It's good.
Starting point is 00:22:24 I like the sound of this guy. Do you ever? other yes. Oh, it's good. It's good. And so I just sounded this guy. Do you ever I mean, I don't think I wonder if men would even and I don't think you would in particular about the way you would care about this, but do you ever Google like their wedding registry of people are like that you know that you like from like high school or something like I'll never occur to me to do it. Oh my God. I will are they still a couple? Sometimes they are or if you know
Starting point is 00:22:43 they're getting married, then you can go check out their wedding website. But sometimes wedding websites are up forever because people don't delete them. I hope we don't have one. Well, but by the time it comes out, you can make sure. We got married, and I think I've said this on the show before, we got married before wedding hashtags were a thing. Like, right before.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Like putting your name together. Yes, or some kind of a soccerman. We got married in 2010 the year we made contact. And what year did you get married to? 2009? Oh, yeah. I think I'm going to 13 years. Uh, 11 years. Sorry, 2008. 2008. 12. Sorry, 2008.
Starting point is 00:23:25 2008. You know what I do, which is a great tip for you guys. No, thanks. I'm your okay. I look up my exes. I look about anything I want, okay, but on Google. I look up anything I want. I have it on my Google calendar.
Starting point is 00:23:39 But my Google calendar, I write anniversaries with the year. Yes. I just, and I'm doing a show right now, so I didn't wanna look at it. And I'm doing, and I do it for kids, my friends kids birthdays, I put the year there, because you always lose track, I guess you won. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:55 What is he three? Yeah. What is he four? And you don't wanna ask that, because it really seems like you're not paying attention. So Paul, do you remember your first dance, slow dance, especially? I would say it was probably at my eighth grade graduation.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Graduation. That's the mirror. Everyone's all pumped up. What's the song? What's the song that you think of when you think of like dance from middle school? Ebony and Ivory. What about you? Were you dancing with someone of different, yes, Iory. Wow. What about you? Were you dancing with someone
Starting point is 00:24:25 of a different race? Yes, I was. Nice. To Ebonine Ivory. Wow, we're playing it with the DJ playing it because of that, to tell everyone to calm down. Who's feeling elfy? How does the tune go?
Starting point is 00:24:38 Ebonine and Ivory live together in perfect harmony, side by side on my piano keyboard. Oh Lord, why did we? It's a banger. So good. I mean, I've heard it by, I loved that, Ren. Can't remember how the verses go at all. We both know People are the same wherever we go They're a good bad
Starting point is 00:25:16 Now imagine being 13 There was also a also a Willie Nelson the Willie Nelson version of you were always on my mind Oh, that would be a wonderful yeah, I remember dancing to that one of that same dance. Yes I put for someone You that all for one Casey and Jojo. Oh, right. I think That I found it found you And we also got Baby when we're grinding. I get so excited.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Oh, fruit. How I like it. I try, but I can't hide it. And it's all about the penis touching the girl. Was, was, did you say earlier jukeying? Is that what you call grinding? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Yeah, I mean, well grinding, juicing to me and where I'm from and what we called it was when you basically put your hands on your knees, stick your butt out and the guy comes up behind and goes, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're but. Yeah, they're hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt. It's so weird to be with kids doing that. Would there be, would there be. Little kids. I got like 12, 13.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Oh no. And where there must have been, like you would probably get in trouble for this, right? If you got caught by a teacher. Uh, everyone was doing it. And then you could, then you go like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and you kind of like, grind on someone
Starting point is 00:26:43 where you're like basically humping their thigh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, penis get hard at 13. So, get harder. 13. My first dance, well, okay, I think I probably told you about square dancing lessons when I was in sixth grade. Oh, we had to do that in gym.
Starting point is 00:26:58 And that was the thing where it was, you know, leading up to us all going to camp and having to ask girls to dance. That was a big part of like, okay, when you ask a girl to dance, do this and this. Of course, the dance. Wait, wait, wait, what were the things that you had to do? Well, it was just like, the dance is going to come up. It's traditional for the man to ask the woman to, for the dance, don't be scared, guys.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I know you're gonna be nervous, but it's very easy. You just go right up to the girl and you ask her to dance. And if she's polite, she'll say yes. Do they give you, do they give you a little script to use? Yeah, it was sort of like,
Starting point is 00:27:38 if you get the glingary leads. It's like, uh. Did you ever, do you think that if you had Kornova happen when you were doing squid as you'd be like, yes. Probably because I went, I went to camp. I remember watching surfing videos at this camp. And then suddenly the square dance started. And I remember being there were like five of us who
Starting point is 00:28:03 just were, you know, as they say, wall flowers. And I remember being, there were like five of us who just were, you know, as they say, wall flowers. And never asked anyone. And so it just never happened. But then, did you just have, like, did you have like anxiety the whole time? Well, everyone said I was a nerd and everyone laughed at me and everyone, like, I remember there was one. I always forget that. That's a huge part of your childhood. There was, there was a time when people were like the popular girl. They were like, daring me to Go ask her to go around I'll give you a dollar if you Do that to me around I was like hey, she likes you. She said she likes you. I'm like. I know she didn't fucking say yeah damn
Starting point is 00:28:37 That sucks so when I was all just like To be online so you know and then the other part of it is like the gossip train got to her before then of like Scott's gonna ask you to go around as a Joe We've been like putting him we've been putting him up to that's what you guys said So then it's but then that slipped out in eighth grade We there was the eighth grade dance and I had a girlfriend and I oh that turned around pretty quick for you But I was I was also like, you know And I turned around pretty quick for you. But I was also like, you know, very the least weird about dancing.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Like I never danced in public. Yeah, I bet it was weird. So it was like a fast song came on and I went out there and she finally was like, come on, come on, come dance. So I was sort of like trying to do it or whatever. And then the slow song came out. I always remember the song.
Starting point is 00:29:21 It was Cindy Loppers time after time. Sure. And just the best song to have the first. Absolutely. Slow dance too. That's great. And it was great. Now, here's my question for both of you.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Yeah, did you go for that ass, of course. Kelly, I juke dirt. Nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt,
Starting point is 00:29:41 nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, nurt, n That's a nice slow juke. Would you ever go on dancing with the stars? Well, say you're getting a really fair amount of money every time that you can. And you could use it. Back in the day, probably 10 years ago, I would have said no. And now that no one will ever want me on it, I'm sort of like,
Starting point is 00:29:57 maybe it wouldn't be that bad. I remember advising a friend of mine who was asked to go on celebrity apprentice. I was saying no, you don't want to do that because that person was also, I don't want to give anything away, but that person was also not at the apex of their career. Right, so you do it too soon.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Yeah, I was sort of like, you're just gonna look like you're washed up if you do it. And then now I'm like, they should have done it. It was pendulum, right? Yeah, of course. No, because nobody cares ultimately. And I think, like I watched James Vanderbiet on Dancing With The Stars and he was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:30:29 And I didn't judge that he, like, why would he do that? You know, it's like, who cares? It's not so much, yeah, to me, it's not so much, it's not so much appearing on the show. It's that what does the show entail? And it's like, I don't, yeah, it's insane. We were hard, I'm a bad student and you know say we were all could do it Big enough celebrities to go on it. Lauren. You're just short amount of time though. I
Starting point is 00:30:53 Is a short amount of time what they you have to do all the stuff oh We got to learn Taking dance lessons over the course of a year like six weeks. You know a lot about my friend used to work doing Tom Bergeron. She was a story. And what if Tyrone Banks is so great as the host? Okay. Oh, I don't know. Is she hosting that show?
Starting point is 00:31:17 I didn't realize she took over for the Berger. I need weekly shows right now. What's he doing now? He quit or got fired. I don't know because it's on Spicer. He was upset about that. Wait, that's right. Because they, they, they put Sean Spicer on the show and he put out a statement. A statement when they cashed Sean Spicer saying, I had hoped, I had talked to producers and hoped we would stay away from divisive politics, but apparently they didn't want to do that this year. Wow. And I agree, like I-
Starting point is 00:31:45 I thought it was whack as hell that it was on their show. It's whacky so. Oh yeah, I terrible. I got into the mass singer and I was like, hey, I kinda like this show. And then suddenly one of the singers took off their mask and it was Sarah Palin. I was like, okay, bye.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Yeah. I didn't stop watching before that happened, but that was so fucked up. It's like, what are we doing with that? I find that really weird. Just because, I mean, and I was so fucked up. It's like, what are we doing with that? I find that really weird. Just because, I mean, and I was the recipient of it, but politics are very, like, especially in an election year, they're very, the whole world, the eyes are upon them.
Starting point is 00:32:16 So when I say, when I say, I was a recipient of it, I mean, the Hillary Clinton between two ferns, like it's so many people watched 30 million the first day, but that's not an excuse. And they all sent you letters? Yeah. Hillary Clinton between two ferns, like it so many people watched 30 million the first day. But that's not any excuse. And they all sent you letters. Yeah. And we're going to read them tonight.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Dear bitch. That was to you. Yes, we got to. Can you tell that woman I love? We need to take a break. We'll be right back. And we're back. And we're back. And we okay.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Well, what are we just talking about? We're talking about dancing, slow dancers, Sean Spicer. Oh, here's what I wanted to say. Yeah. The thing that's so upsetting about like a Sean Spicer or Sarah Palin doing a stunt show like that is that these people are clowns and we recognize them as clowns and yet they make this big stink about being treated like legitimate people while they're doing the thing that they're allegedly legitimate for doing. Then as soon as they fail at that,
Starting point is 00:33:25 they just show they prove that they are clowns. And it's like, yeah, so, why did you get so indignant? Right. When everyone knew you were a clown and called you a clown, and you pretended like you weren't a clown, but now you're admitting you're a clown. But then Sean Spacer puts on like the fucking
Starting point is 00:33:43 cha-cha from the mask, he does a dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that.
Starting point is 00:34:00 I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do much. I'm really excited because last season, we had a sort of casual ranking of all of the M&M. It was pretty casual. It was pretty casual. I was only wearing a two-piece suit.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Is it? Babingsuit? I was wearing a one-piece. Yeah. I was wearing a tankini, and we decided to talk through what we thought were the best M&Ms. Now, this is without eating them.
Starting point is 00:34:22 We just, just from memory. Yeah. And then we kind of threw some thoughts at the other ones we hadn't tried yet. But now Paul has gathered all, he's gathered 14 flavors. 14 different flavors. 14 different flavors. No, there's too many flavors of Ems. There's like 30.
Starting point is 00:34:37 There's definitely a good, I'm going to say 20 that they should not have bothered making. Yeah. But there are some here that I've never even heard of. Now do we want to read all of them? Well, we'll let. And then we'll talk about which seven we're doing now. And we're going to do seven later. Let's talk about the seven we're doing now.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Yes. OK. OK. So the seven, what we're going to do is we're going to eat seven M&Ms. And we're going to. Oh, it's the ones. And we're going to.
Starting point is 00:34:59 And we're going to decide to figure out which was which. No, we're going to eat seven types of M&Ms and We're gonna pick right now It's so stupid. I'm very happy pick our top three and then those we're gonna next week We'll eat seven more types and pick the top three those and then those six will go up against each other yes head to head Okay, and I think we should go in order together hell yeah, we should okay, so let's start with playing the first one is playing The classic M&M's classic invented for our boys in World War two. Where they what's the story? It's because they the idea was that they would not melt That was the idea they could have a small portable sweet that would not melt. Oh interesting
Starting point is 00:35:42 portable sweet that would not melt. Oh, interesting. Oh my god, you're so good. I mean, they're classic for a reason. Fucking delicious. Do you have problems hearing people eating on podcasts? People hate this. Okay, I hate four of those, they're so good. I hate four too.
Starting point is 00:35:55 I want to eat the whole bag, but I'll save it for after. Yeah, all right, now we're going to peanut. Peanut. This is probably if I had to guess this. Invented for Vietnam. Yes. The other side.
Starting point is 00:36:06 They were a little bit hungrier and they needed that nut and the nut. Charlie hates peanut. But this was probably the second version, right? Because it was just plain and peanut. It might memory, yes. It might memory, yes. Alright, here we go. Do I'm going to pull up the wiki?
Starting point is 00:36:21 Can I say? Oh my God, I love this. These are always better than I remember them being. No, if I'm gonna buy between brown and yellow bags, I'm getting yellow. If I'm drunk in a hotel room, I'll always go for the peanut. But when the peanuts are stale, they're bad. I've only started letting myself do that recently. I'd eat hotel food.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Oh really? Like the mini-bond? Which we both have from M&M. I'm sorry. I would go to the CV the mini bowl? Which we're talking about. I'm sorry. I would go to the CVS and buy. I'm an effort dollar. All right, so now we're moving on to an orange bag. These are peanut butter.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Now I love these. I love these too. One of the best newer additions. These for me are the ones to beat honestly. I think I have to agree. Oh, so we have these. These are fucking amazing. Okay, I just I have to agree. Oh So these are fucking amazing Okay, I just saw online today or you know though orios with Graham cracker cookie flavor and then the middle is peanut butter chocolate pie flavor
Starting point is 00:37:19 What so it's like a gram crossed with you know,, but it's the cookie. So gram cracker Oreo. And the filling is. Peanut butter chocolate. Hmm. We just got these cookies. Oh, come on. Cullop ordered these cookies online. They're so, they look like a cake.
Starting point is 00:37:35 We have to split them and it's still too much and you have to warm them up because the inside's, or something's like a cake. Did you get a little can, there's ice cream inside and you put candles on. Huh? Oh, sorry. We're moving on to caramel.
Starting point is 00:37:49 And then we have to give Paul a lot of credit for putting these little bags together, these little coke bags. And then he put, he printed labels of the flavored titles. I did. Okay, caramel. I don't know if I say caramel too. I grew up saying caramel and I feel embarrassed by it. Like it's low class so I say caramel. If I see it spelled out, I feel like I like to say caramel too. I grew up saying caramel and I feel embarrassed by it.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Like it's low class, so I say caramel. If I see it spelled out, I feel like I have to say caramel, but in my heart, it's always caramel. Oh, I don't know about this. I don't know about apples. I don't know if that's right. Well, I feel like I always say pop,
Starting point is 00:38:15 but I have to stop saying pop because people just always go, I don't know, pap. I mean, yeah. I could only eat one of those. They're like a meal. They're so chewy and big. It's so big All right, let's cut that out and use it as a drone. No
Starting point is 00:38:34 Like what are you do boys? All right moving on to toffee peanuts. Okay, so this is interesting This is coffee peanut like the peanut M&M's that we had earlier yet with the addition of toffee these might be too good for kids. Oh Do you like toffee though? No Especially after all these sweet things to have like a little bit of Zonky sour. This is sick. It is zonky. I don't like it. Oh I need a water. I'm gonna have one more have two. No. I had to don't do it Yeah, I was bad okay Which one do I want to end on I want to add on fudge brownie, okay, so next white white chick-lit peanut
Starting point is 00:39:14 White chocolate peanut. Do either of you like white chocolate to begin with? I love white chocolate. I think it's fine. I'll eat it if given no other Option, but it's not it's not something I would buy That's also my nickname What I hold on something I After that copy one I can't even taste it But you say the peanut and chocolate. Yeah, no, I got it. Maybe you need to eat two or three. I got it Hey, too remember when they made those,
Starting point is 00:39:45 oh, I sort of. Cookies and cream, like, Hunter and Dalmatians. I ate two. Ugh. They did cookies and cream, what? Hunter and no one Dalmatian? Hershey bars.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Oh, oh yeah, gross. Yeah, I was wack. Oh yeah, Hunter and Dalmatians. Hershey bars, no one. So they did that, but cookies and cream. And that was when the, it was in the 90s, when the Hunter and Dalmatians,
Starting point is 00:40:04 when we came out. Movie came out when we came out. Movie came out. Movie came out. Movie came out. Any of the white chocolate on that. I did not like that. Okay. Moving on to our final selection. We need a little palette clon.
Starting point is 00:40:12 And this one's new, right? Fudge Brownie. This is new. I saw a television commercial for it. And this is what prompted. I went and bought these. This is what prompted. Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:24 But I've been really like, what's the the word like rationing them out to myself like I'm only giving myself like a couple whenever I feel like it because I don't know why they they're so big they look like they have peanuts in them but that I'm assuming they don't right they don't have peanuts no it's just a brownie. Oh shit dude. Can you guys tell these at a bag? But you know what they're all right. I'm not mad about them. That's part of the thing and I mean I'm not crazy about them like I just like I feel like Part of why only a few at a time is like they're really rich. I think I really like chocolate. It's not as um Not as chocolatey as I want it It's more like fudgey. Yeah, it puts the fudge in fudge brownie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Well guys, I hope you've enjoyed. It puts the fudge in the basket. Put the fudge in the basket. No. Ha ha ha. Put the lotion in the basket, please. Beated. We need to beated.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Pick our top three. Oh, damn it. We need to pick our top three. Oh my god. And we beat it. We need to beat it. Pick our top three. Damn it. We need to pick our top three. Oh my god. And we do it. Yeah, we can do it. It's hard, it's hard, but I got it. I got it.
Starting point is 00:41:32 I'm locked in. I'm locked in. OK, but are you going to put them in order? OK, but are you going to get put them in order? Or is it going to be in order? Just three. Just three. And we'll wait to put them in.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Yeah, exactly. OK, I got it. All right, Lauren. My top three are peanut, plain, okay, I got it all right Lauren my top three are peanut plane peanut butter My top three are Peanut plane peanut butter My top three are. Plane.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Oh. Peanut butter. Oh, he's going fudge brownie. Fudge brownie. Oh! So no peanut. No peanut's good, but did make the top three. Sorry peanut.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Peanut's good. Peanut's good. I went did make the top three. Sorry, peanut. Peanut's good. Peanut's good. I went back to the peanut butter. I'm going to have to play. Take a picture of your top three. No, okay. Can you just take a picture of your top three and it will be my picture of my top three?
Starting point is 00:42:37 Move them around. Move one around. Ha, ha, ha. Wow. These are good. So it's interesting I went back to the peanut butter. You might think that would be my favorite, but I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Now, toffee has corrupted my taste buds. Yeah. No to the toffee, no to the toffee. Toffee, honestly, can go on the trash. White chocolate peanut, I mean, I know. What's the point? I don't know. White chocolate peanut.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Like, like take the peanut out of it if you're gonna have white chocolate. And I also think, here't know. I'm going to jog the peanut. Like, like, take the peanut out of it if you're going to have white chocolate. And I also think, here's it. This might be an unpopular opinion. I'd like to know what you think about this. Okay. No white person should like these. They all.
Starting point is 00:43:14 They all have. They all have good ideas. They all look the same. Like besides toffee peanut, which has been colored to be shades of coffee, they all look the same. And I think white chocolate peanut. Should be white. Well, you should do something, make it interesting.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Yeah, I make it white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like weird. Put an iron cross on it. Well, you know what, you know what, you're getting fruit snacks, then you get the special one. That's like the white mat one.
Starting point is 00:43:37 That's like special. Do you know what I'm talking about? Uh, no. Or do you mean like an Easter where they color everything? It tastes chalky, it's hard to bite into. Yeah, it's like, it's like this. You can draw with it on a black board. No, but there were these shark fruit snacks
Starting point is 00:43:52 that were fucking amazing when I was in. Hey sharks. And they were all gummy translucing gummies, but then there was the special ones that were like not translucent and they were really good. And I feel like that made you feel special when you got one. So I think that. Here's what I would do with the white chocolate peanut.
Starting point is 00:44:09 I would and there's also, there's other white chocolate varieties, but I couldn't get my hands on it. I think we should have a white chocolate peanut halfway and see if it looks good. Is the white chocolate on the outside or is it in the inside? I think it's inside. Oh, look at it. The candy shell remains constant. It looks like a skittle.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Ew. Look. From here it looks disgusting. Look at that. I know I don't want to I would make the white chocolate ones a white shell with a red M on it, so it look like a pill I just ate half of the white chocolate. It's gross. I know it sucks like It sucks my dick. It sucks my dick. It sucks my dick. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this art by the way. Are we supposed to keep these for our next, like, not eat the rest of the bag for the next time we sample these or are you bringing more back?
Starting point is 00:45:08 I'll bring the back. I'll take them home. No, no, I mean to say. No, we can finish the sample. Are you bringing more bags of our top three? No, no, no, I'm gonna take all of them home. Oh, you're not. Because.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Well, why are you asking me, Scott? That's like, I'm wondering if I can finish the bags. It's got to go. Yeah, fucking go ahead. Are you bringing more peanut ones? Because we're not taping for another. Mighty chance, would you be bringing them? Is it reasonable to us?
Starting point is 00:45:37 My question is, do I have to keep half an open bag of M&Ms in my house for the Ants to get in? No, no, I say one of you are. For another couple of weeks. Yes, what did you keep me in your ass? I am gonna die. I mean wait, so wait, what are the other flavors I can't know? I do have more in them.
Starting point is 00:45:53 We'll talk about it next episode. I have a ton more in them. I'm so keen. So I can bring in a fresh bag. We'll talk about it next episode, but we do need to say a break. I hope you enjoyed that. Next episode, we're gonna try. I'm neutral if you did. Seven new flavors.
Starting point is 00:46:06 We're gonna do a three-trip after this. Okay, we'll be right back. We're back with more of whatever this is. Lauren. It's time for a threacher. Yeah, I was going to say you have a funny look on your face. Like you have a threacher in your brain. No, it was more than I looked at something someone posted and I thought that's dumb.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Boy, yoy, yoy, yoy. But anyways, what I want to do is the game we played last season or the season before, where we do one word impressions. Then we have to guess is the game we played last season or the season before, where we do one word impressions. Then we have to guess who the impression is of. Oh, I can. Yes. So everyone thinks of a person they want to do an impression of, they can only use one word.
Starting point is 00:46:53 We all use the same word, I think. Yeah. Or we give the word. Yeah. Or we give the word. Oh, okay. So we all think of a word. We all agree on a word and then we have to do.
Starting point is 00:47:02 No, I think what it is is, I'll be like, okay, in my head I have my celebrity and then you tell me the word I have to say. Oh, okay, sure. I think that's fun. Sure. Okay, so I'm trying to think of people. Let's think of people. We can cut out the dead space that will ensue
Starting point is 00:47:17 for the next five minutes. Trying to think of any human being on the face of the earth and I'm coming up short. Can it be people we know or no? Sure, but they should be celebrities. Well, I everyone I know is a celebrity. Of course. All the famous friends you have are powerful. Of course. All right, I have mine. I have mine. I have mine. I have mine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:44 That's okay, Paul. Just lob out a word first and then we'll do ours. Grasshopper. Okay, so I'll do this one. Yes. Okay. Grasshopper. Barney the dinosaur.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Der, der, der, der. You're best friend. I even got him. You're best friend. Go me here and again Grasshopper Mike Pence No Think about it though Say it again how how insensitive would that be because he's dead by now? Oh my God, can you believe what if that happened?
Starting point is 00:48:27 Okay, no just be crazy, we'd be like psychics. Go. Grasshopper? Well, grasshopper. That's right. It's good. Grasshopper? Who's that grasshopper?
Starting point is 00:48:43 Who'd that feel like to be? What I do have a noise. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Is it from like a show in the 50s? Graus Hopper? Who does that feel like to be an idea? Is it from, can I ask you a question? Is it from a show in the 50s? Someone saying Graus Hopper? No. That's from Kung Fu. Is the person, no.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Is the person celebrity in black and white? Let me try, no, let me try a different, a different intonation. Okay. Graushopper. Al Gore. You're very close. Oh, Bill Fountain. No. The Bill Clinton.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Oh, Barack Obama. Yes, Obama. Oh, yes, Obama. And again. That's easy. Point A. Grasshopper. Yeah, I hear that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:20 You know, it's good. A white boy like me can do. All right. Well, get ready for my impression. You know, word. Oh, no, I say you, okay. I say you. I say you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Mm-hmm. Intonation. Intonation. True Barrymore. Yes. Interesting. I didn't give you a list word, so that must have been more difficult for you.
Starting point is 00:49:44 It came through with the tongue Nice is this an impression you're working on Got it out of mid air because actually I was about to do someone else and the last second I went no I don't know if I'll do him and then I just switched all right Paul do you have someone locked in? I did and now it's gone hold on a second. It's coming back. I have a 10. The word is city council. Oh, compound. City council. The word is city council.
Starting point is 00:50:27 City council I'm trying to do you doing it to see if it'll like you you went to another country. Yeah, okay, so it's not pretty city council city council city council city council Council. City Council. And the big pause. City Council. What are the poo? No, good guess. What are the poop? It.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Closer. What are the shit? Whoa. Red hot. Darius. Oh boy. City Council. City Council.
Starting point is 00:51:02 So the pause in between city and council is not baked in. You just did it without it. So that's, so it's not a celebrity that's possible. It's a thing this person might often do. Okay. Is it a man? It is. Is he very gentle?
Starting point is 00:51:17 Yeah, he's pretty gentle. City council. Is it, Dudley, no. Is it Dudley? No. Is it... Quint? No.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Is it... Oh, is that gonna be... City again. City Council. City Council. Mickey Rork. No. What a weird attitude you throw out there.
Starting point is 00:51:47 I don't know. I don't know. We can't get it. Do you give up? Well, is the person in black and white? No, the person is in color. Okay. I am getting bitten by a bug. You brisk.
Starting point is 00:51:59 I know. I thought I wouldn't. So a bug is juking you. Toss me this brain. Dirt, dirt, dirt. Is it a politician? It is not. Jamie does that to me at home all the time.
Starting point is 00:52:12 She won't throw things underhand. I will toss her a moat to each other. And she's like, if I toss it to her, I know exactly what I'm doing. A gentle underhanded lob. I was told to grab it like a football. She exactly what I'm doing. A gentle underhanded lob. I was told to grab it like a football. She acts like I'm throwing an axe at her. And then if she throws something to me, she's going like this.
Starting point is 00:52:32 I'm like, what the fuck? I don't know that I could complete an underhand toss all the way over there. You could. I believe it. If it hits the ground, is that the bus open and you don't get your bug spray? It buss open and then we all got bugs
Starting point is 00:52:46 Could you toss it under hand to me? I doubt it. I'll fuck you city council. I Have a guy that Well All right, do it do it do it. Do it learn do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it Yeah, see it can be done Yeah, but she had to get up to do it. Oh Every space Why do we get these boom stands? What's your care? Why do we get these boom stands?
Starting point is 00:53:14 Who are they all these boom stands anyway? Who are you? Do you give up? Yeah, I have a guy in my mind, but I can oh Father Mokei you do father, okay No, wait never mind. Did you say fictional people? Well the guy who plays him is not fictional? It's right. No, he was a made-up guy. Oh my god. Yeah, he was a little puppet One of the spinning image puppet. Yeah, it's been all right. What? Okay, ready. Yeah
Starting point is 00:53:42 John Hodgman. Oh Interesting Okay, ready? Yeah. John Hodgman. Oh, interesting. He is John. So it again. City Council. Okay, I just... Oh, okay, no, I didn't know we were gonna critique these as well. I think you would go. City Council.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Well, great one. City Council? No, you're doing Reagan. Okay, okay, next round. New round. New round. next round. New round. New round. New rules. New round.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Okay, Paul, give me a word. Apathetic. Apathetic. Oh boy, boy. Oh, boy, boy. Oh, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy going Eh, apathetic. Yeah Jack Nicholson. No, I Would have done this with my hair if it was keep going. I thought would have give away. Yeah apathetic. Are you a stand-up comedian? Sometimes
Starting point is 00:54:40 apathetic These are these unsarcastly no Uncanceled I brought him out of the closet at a retirement for this no, it's not as these Amphatic It's not David's paid. Oh No, no, someone we know Okay, who's sometimes a committee there you go Sometimes it stand up
Starting point is 00:55:18 Yeah, okay, all right. Let me give you a word Lauren Conditioner Conditioner Conditioner I will you satner. No no Conditioner Conditioner Conditioner Charl Um, Commissioner. Conditioner. Conditioner. Charlton Heston. No. Damn you dirty apes. Conditioner. Conditioner. Conditioner.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Conditioner. Now singing. Conditioner Jack palates. No, I'm guessing all the ones it should be it should be Conditioner god damn I have no idea Learns waving her hand around like a conductor. Like a sword? Like a sword. A sword's been? Conditioner. Conditioner.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Mandy could think it in Princess Bride. No. I don't know. Younger than Mandy, but think it in Princess Bride? Well, I don't know what a baby is. Oh, that's a bad, but I'm saying younger in that now this person is. Now this person is younger.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Okay, Yoda. That's a girl. This person? Oh. Now this person is young. Okay Yoda. That's a good one. This person? Oh, uh, condition. Is it Hayden Christensen? Darth Vader? Uh, James Earl Jones? Mark Hamill?
Starting point is 00:56:56 Keep going. Is it, uh, Adam, Adam Driver? Good dictionary. Yeah, good. He's never been where he's saying at the end. Oh, being alive? Yes. Never saw it. Oh, it's never been where he sang at the end. Oh, being alive? Yes. Never saw it.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Oh, it's great. Not being alive, but I'm here to say. I did it. Never saw that either. Never saw that either. I loved it. Wow. But I also want to work in a Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:57:16 And I'm sending this to Delete Adam Brody. Delete Adam Brody. Or whatever his name is. She, chief Brody. She, she, she, I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go.
Starting point is 00:57:27 I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go.
Starting point is 00:57:34 I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. I'm not's the problem. Can be a woman. That's the problem. I keep getting these at life. You better stop because we gotta eat more of them. Don't pick someone who's dead that we've never heard of recording of.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Like Jesus. You guys haven't heard the recordings I have? What? I found them in a dinosaur ditch. What? The dinosaur ditch. I found some recordings of Jesus. The dinosaur ditch what that is all bitch. I Found some recording of Jesus the dinosaur ditch. This is a good impression. You should pick this. Who is it? I don't know Okay, I have somebody I have somebody that okay Okay, your word is your camera
Starting point is 00:58:23 You don't know about your shadow your camera and what do you know what do you know this is a guy? Your phrase your word is a pace Is this harder? It could be anywhere conductor Conductor oh Wow, oh and Wilson Conductor. Oh, wow. Owen Wilson. Yeah, it wasn't really. How did I get it? I don't know what I don't know.
Starting point is 00:58:51 I don't know. Wow. I guess it's the broken clock theory. Congratulations. No, that was good. No one more round. One more round. One more round.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Jesus. All right. Let me think. It's Austin. All the people I've ever heard of same What is that? Oh that oh, it's your okay, okay, I got I got I thought I heard like a first. Yeah, okay, let me give you a word Come up and Come up and
Starting point is 00:59:21 Okay, come up and It's probably some Instagram thought. No, no. I'm trying to do some of my face. I'm trying to do some of my face. Okay. Do it better. Come up in. Come up in. Come up in.
Starting point is 00:59:36 You already did Drew Barrymore. Yeah, it's not her. Paris Elton. Come up in. Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple. Well, Lauren is putting your fingers to her cheeks. Clara Bow.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Shirley Temple. Thing that she did when she would dance. And she looked at us like this. This will reveal who it is. Oh shit. Straighting up in her chair. Holy shit. She's standing up.
Starting point is 01:00:05 She's really making a face. Come up in. Fuck. Oh, you were just saying that we were interviewing someone. That's interesting. Huh. I'm not. You're not.
Starting point is 01:00:15 You're being in the... Sarah Jessica Parker? No. Okay, sorry. I could have said yes. I could have lied. And it's not Kim Kardashian. Oh, what's wrong with that?
Starting point is 01:00:24 I could have lied. I could have lied. I could have lied. And it's not Kim Kardashian. Oh, I forgot about that. I could have lied. I could have lied. The Loneys Monster. Really look at my mouth. Okay. A little bit above my mouth. I never looked at your mouth before.
Starting point is 01:00:34 That's what they look like. Come up in. Nicole Richie. No. I mean, it looks. Come up in. Oh, man. I wish you could see her face. Yeah, slimer.
Starting point is 01:00:49 You want to know? Yeah, just tell us. Jennifer Garner. Oh, I get you. She kind of has her chin stag at us. Yeah, yeah. I wish the word had been credit card. I wish the word had been credit card. I wish the word had been
Starting point is 01:01:05 Ben Affleck. All right, I got mine. Paul, you want to give me your word? Yeah, I guess I do. That's the helicopter flies above us. Philanthropy. Philanthropy. philanthropy. Philanthropy. You're not looking, Lauren. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Helicopter. Should we have a little song from when the helicopter happens? He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. What's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. What a hell. He's good. Great. For now on, let's can we practice it once to make sure we're right over next time. Here we go. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. The helicopter. What is it? The lantern. Dredd. From your boy-wrap Snyder's movie?
Starting point is 01:02:07 I don't even know what it is. What is that? You don't know what Judge Dredd is? Oh my God. No, that's not something. That's not from like Val Kilmer's. No, well, so that's just alone, played him in one movie. And then I think the dude from the boys played him
Starting point is 01:02:24 in the recent one. I can't remember anyone. Okay, keep going. Four-way-on-thruppie. Jeff Bridges. Brad Garrett. Four-way-on-thruppie. Samelia?
Starting point is 01:02:38 Kristalia. Lucy. From Judge Dredd to Kristalia. I'm just naming comedians. Full-length rupee. Mr. Snowfloppy guess? Full-length rupee. Oh, Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil-Wil by the way. Congrats. Four Lines. Four Lines, four Lines, three. The Wilford Brimley line is how old he was at when he filmed Cacoon. You? Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:11 They were 50 something? Yeah. Where they supposed to be like totally... Everyone else was practically dead and he was 50. I've never seen that movie actually. I've only seen the part where they're like in a pool or something. That's all you need to see baby. Yeah, Donna Meachley with the shirt off. Cool, a lot.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Full lion's look. But I feel like back in the day, like people thought of ages differently. Like I feel like it's changed so much. Also, yeah, I mean, it's just funny that Wilford Brimley, like I think I'm older than all of the traveling Wilburys. I'm not sure. Oh, there were that picture was going around.
Starting point is 01:03:41 Yeah, we're like, it was like, look at all these old dudes. Well, one's 41, one's 46. It still seemed impossible. Yeah, full-length rupee. You were close with Sam Elliott. I was close with Sam Elliott. Yeah, because it's someone doing an impression of Sam Elliott.
Starting point is 01:03:59 What? Bill Hader doing an impression of Sam Elliott. Oh. The land's ripping. Someone doing an impression of Sam. Oh. Phil Lantropi. Someone doing an impression of Sam. I don't know. Yeah. Lady Gaga, Phil Lantropi. Lauren Michaels.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Leslie Cooper. That's. Come on. Come on. I've never seen that movie. Paul and I all saw it together. We almost saw it together. Paul came to the theater late and what happened?
Starting point is 01:04:27 You walked in. They would not let me in because the movie had already started. Yeah. And I told them. You told them not to let me? Scott, why? I got to know an argument with this Usher. Now, it's not fair to the other people.
Starting point is 01:04:41 I'm like, it is their Paul, man. It is, I know it's their policy, but. That's his bullshit. And he was my good, when he was disrupting for one minute. Yes. Also, people are going in and out, going in and out, back to the end of the time. But it is.
Starting point is 01:04:53 It was when they first started the ArcLite theater, like a policy to curb a certain type of behavior. Right, but I was meeting other people. I was unexpectedly delayed from wherever I was coming from. And I had bought a ticket. Yeah, did he get re-fund the ticket though? No, he said I could use it for another showing of another movie. He would make you go to a different movie.
Starting point is 01:05:14 He forced me to go see a minion's movie. Oh my god. And he stood next to me. He stood next to me the whole time. I was like, this isn't disruptive anymore. Shhh, minions are on. All right Paul, do you have one? You sure I need to do your third one
Starting point is 01:05:32 and Laura needs to give you a word. The word is fire truck. Okay. Gotta think of a person real fast. Okay. Fire truck? Hodgman. Ross Perot. Ross Perot!
Starting point is 01:05:52 This seems a little more like the Southern lack fire truck. Fire truck? Fire, but then you're doing the R. Say it again. Oh finally I could Henry Higgins this. Put you in one square block. Fire truck. Fire truck. Fire truck. Fire truck. Fire truck. I could Henry Higgins this put you in one square block fire truck fire truck fire truck
Starting point is 01:06:09 Fire truck you big a lot of gentle people fire truck. I mean, it's just who's in my mind today gentle in my mind You want to say the fire marshal bill? No Would this person ever say fire truck? Apps 100% they would yes because ones coming towards them. I would say I might can't tell you that. I would say that there is apps I'm sure there's absolutely footage of this person saying the words fire truck Say fire truck on camera. I'm willing to bet my life Rudy Giuliani Fire truck.
Starting point is 01:06:47 Steve Martin, because he was in Roxanne and he played a volunteer fireman. And he said, let's get on the fire truck. Sure. Well, I can't think of anyone else. Fire truck. Fire truck. Fire truck.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Is it a politician? No. Fire truck. No. It's not an actor. Fire truck. Musician. No. It's not an actor. Fire musician. No. What else is there? What else is there?
Starting point is 01:07:12 Stand up to me. Those are the things you can be who would be on camera politician musician actor. No, no Perth I guess a fire truck Tiktok Superstar? No. Instagram fought. I guarantee the Instagram thought has said, Fire Truck, and I have the video to put back. Tumblr, dude.
Starting point is 01:07:35 I'm just gonna get a whirlwind with like a huge tip. Hi. It's story Daniels. I worry that Instagram stories and TikToks are teaching our young actors bad habits. Like what? Just, you know, like anytime I watch one of their comedy videos, they're always so big.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Oh yeah, it's bad. You know, they're always like all their reactions are just like, whoa, you're what it is. Well this is why it's so horrible when they just cast like YouTubers and movies because they have a lot of millions of followers and they're like, oh, they're like Oh, they can't actually do the movie. Do you remember before Instagram was pushing Reels like if you went to search for something They would have little departments and one of them was comedians or comedy and we just be these people that you didn't know that
Starting point is 01:08:18 We're making like little skits. Yeah on Instagram and they were always terrible. Yeah, I know it's brutal. I got- I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea.
Starting point is 01:08:32 I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea.
Starting point is 01:08:40 I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I got no idea. I'll do it. We'll lady God. God. For my authority. Well, that was really fun. That was fun. Guys, it sounds like it from the way you said that.
Starting point is 01:08:51 I think it sugarcrash. Well, that was really sugarcrash. Well, good news, because next episode, we're going to get right back in the season. All right, that's going to be it for this episode. We hope you had fun. Thank you for listening. We're at 3DMUSA on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:09:04 That's it. We don't have any other things. Send us three chairs. Send us three chairs. Hashtag of you doing like this one. Don't tell us. Just send us one that you do like. Yeah, focus on the positive. And send us candy or envelopes with powder in them. Oh boy.
Starting point is 01:09:18 Yes, we want DVDs of powder and BVDs and BVDs of powder. Send us BVDs to Josh's home. All right, we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Hi. you

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