Threedom - Threevisiting: Look At My Snaps Go
Episode Date: September 5, 2023Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss dying their hair, car accidents and play Inside Joke. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail....com. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).
Transcript
Discussion (0)
3-0!
3-0!
3-0!
3-0!
3-0!
Give it a bit bit.
3-0!
3-0!
Shit!
Hey guys, this is me, Lauren Luffius.
Hey guys, it's Steve, Paul Luffius.
Hello everyone, I'm Scott Arroy.
I'm Steve.
I'm Steve. I'm Steve.es Hello everyone, I'm Scott Arprin
Who gives a shit?
Oi, porthies
Hey guys, it's me Lauren Loughes
Hey guys, it's Steve, Paul Loughes
Hello everyone, I'm Scott Arprinin
Who gives a shit? Oi porthies Hey, that's right.
What's cool?
That was very cool.
Thanks to as cool as us.
No, it's cooler than us.
You think it was cooler than us?
Oh my god, yes.
By Lips and Belly.
That was said to us via Twitter by Tanner Brown.
Tanner, what, oh, let's give it a try.
He's Tanner and Brad.
Yeah, I'm gonna give it a try.
Yeah, I'm gonna give it a try.
Yeah, I'm gonna give it a try.
Yeah, I'm gonna give it a try. Yeah, I'm gonna give it a try. Yeah, I'm gonna give it a try. Yeah, I'm gonna give it a. That was said to us via Twitter by Tanner Brown.
Tanner, oh, let's give it a try.
He's Tanner and Brown?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's how, I mean, he's so much Tanner that he is brown.
He's brown at this.
Yes.
Wow, it's his handle.
That's what I'm gonna look up right now. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, I don't have any money for that. Tanner, my budget is very tight. It's very tight, Tanner.
Very tight, but thank you for that.
Very tight, Tanner.
I do 10 patrons, I support 10 patrons a month,
and they each do different things.
What are your patriots, my friends?
I support the Patreon that is the bank that is mine.
No, very clever, Lauren.
Very clever.
I'm Paul F. Topkins.
I'm Broin Blopka.
I'm Ploppy Plopper.
Ploppy Plopper, man.
That's a go-in for your fans.
Ploppy Plopper, man.
That's a go-in for your fans.
You're so contemptuous of my fans.
I just can't do what I exist.
At least I exist.
I'm going to take them all down one by one.
No, get your own.
Isn't it funny to think that we all have, we have fans in common.
Yes.
But then there's also probably people that like us each individual.
Well, of course, there are people who like the other two.
And there are people who like us each individually and don't know the others even exist.
Yes.
Isn't that weird?
Those are more common, I would think.
You think?
Then the people who hate us.
Then the people who like like one of us
but hate the other too.
My fans all, they like me each,
they each like me for one thing
and are not aware or interested
in the other things that I do.
Right.
My fans each like one thing, chocolate.
They're chocolate.
They're chocolate.
They call you, they're chocolate goddess. Yes chocolate. They're chocolate. They're chocolate.
They're chocolate goddess.
Yes, they want me.
And they want to take a bite at a crime.
I have fans from the TV show.
I have fans.
Yes.
Who don't even know there's a podcast.
Yes, and that's why it's like, it's funny.
I was just talking about this with, um, you know, somebody, I guess not me.
I guess it was Gabriel's.
On Race by TV and we were saying how it's so annoying
to always have to promote your podcast,
but then you're like every time I post it,
somebody goes, I didn't know you podcast.
And it's like, wow, so I guess I gotta tell you
my podcast every ding dong day,
so that everyone out there finally learns
one by one that I got 20 minutes podcast.
Every ding dong day.
Every ding dong day.
Like I got there and tell you
you got a podcast every day.
Is that your podcast?
Is that your podcast?
Right now, I have a podcast that comes on Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday and Friday.
And that is my illness and that is my six.
That's too many podcasts.
I need to be arrested.
I talk now, I talk now.
Okay.
I was in Philadelphia recently.
I did some shows.
There was Super Ego and, you know, is a big theater
and it's the dead of summer
and tickets are moving slowly.
And of course, I have a stake in it.
It's my hometown.
I want to sell this thing the fuck out.
So I want to walk out on stage
and have everyone give you an old Philadelphia cheer.
Ooh, I don't want that.
That philip and a fanatic going crazy in that crowd.
I did want him to be there.
Yeah.
But if next time you do this show, and by the way, we're playing Philly to be there. Yeah. That would have been huge.
Next time you do this, you know.
And by the way, we're playing Philly with a comedy band.
That's right.
And just we looked out into the crowd.
That's in November.
Oh, right.
And we just looked out into the crowd and there was the thing.
Yeah, he bought a ticket.
He's just sitting.
He's not doing any antics right now.
He's just sitting there watching the show.
And he doesn't laugh.
He doesn't laugh.
He's inside in the theater.
Of course. I love. He doesn't laugh. He's inside of the theater.
Of course.
I love.
Well, his tongue would shoot out when he laughs.
Nobody doesn't laugh.
He's very polite.
I think he doesn't laugh, but when he, that's how you, you know, he's not laughing.
You know, he's not laughing.
Okay.
His tongue is not shooting.
I can see the to what you know.
Thank you.
I don't want to be challenged on the phonetic.
He is your Lord and savior.
He is indeed Lord. Oh, I think he said Lawrence. He's my Lawrence savior.
He's your lord and Taylor. He's your Robin Lord Taylor. He's my he is my
Robin Lord Taylor. What if that was a Robin Lord Taylor was a mascot for his
sports? Yeah, I love him to be our mascot. Just as himself. Hey, if you're out there
listening, he's a wonderful actor. He plays to Penguin on Gotham. Oswald Couple Pot. Um, friend of Billy Eichner's. I met him on a there listening, he's a wonderful actor he plays to Penguin on Gotham as well to couple pot
Friend of Billy Eichner's I met him on a plane once very nice guy. I met him in a radio station. We were crossing over
He was he was the show as I was yeah with John Edwards. I love that show
Wait, we're gonna say you were trying to sell out the place. Oh, so I'm trying to sell the place
So I'm promoting it every day online
Multiple platforms and you know, there's a point where that feels bad.
You feel like you're just, and it also feels bad to you.
It feels like it looks pathetic.
Like, hey, I guess this guy really can't sell tickets to the show.
I didn't think you looked pathetic.
I thought it looked strong and masculine.
And that looks, I looked powerful and human. That's all I want to appear is strong and masculine. Thank you. I thought it looked powerful and human.
That's all I want to appear is powerful and human.
So the day after the show, I posted a thank you to everybody who came out to the shows
or the picture of Super Ego.
I made you look weak.
I thought the man you look so human.
And the guy said, oh man, it's been like a mole person.
Oh, you had a mole.
You're from coming, Jay the share.
I have a flower sack over my head.
So I posted this picture and said, thanks
to everybody for coming out.
And this guy said, oh man, it's been a bucket list thing
of mine to see you live. Andilly, I gotta keep my eyes peeled
for this kind of thing.
And it's like, you will be, you will be mortified
when you discover how much I've broken.
That's so annoying.
I almost lost my goddamn mind.
Yeah, maybe you did.
And you just don't know.
Do you think this is, this is my secret visitors?
I'm coming to you at night.
You can do it night.
My visitors.
They come to my house.
Oh, it's all one of those shirts at the Super N� show.
Oh, oh, great.
That's cool.
Lauren, we have to talk about your hair.
Your hair is red.
It is, we go.
It's all about it.
It's the elephant in the room.
It's the red elephant in the room.
Yes, my hair is red.
I dyed it red for this.
Can I say I did not notice it until you were talking,
you guys were talking about your, but here's my thing. I mean, I'm not good with it, because I Can I say I did not notice it until you were talking you guys were talking about your,
but here's my thing.
I mean, I'm not good with it anymore.
Wait, wait, wait, were you even dropping on our conversation?
You were sitting right next to me.
That was Friday.
That was Friday.
That was Friday.
And then something came up and you said, did you hear that?
I do not want to hear about these loopholes.
We were having a conversation.
Me and Paul, not you.
It was an A and B conversation.
So why didn't you see your way out of this?
Next Tuesday.
Next Tuesday.
I realized, I think, 20 years ago,
that I think I have, like, hair color blindness,
uh-huh.
Where I don't know,
and here's how it happened.
I was, I had a girlfriend who was blonde
when I started dating her,
and then three months in I think she changed probably
She changed her hair to red and I didn't notice it
Wow and then then I was like describing her at one point and I was like
She's like, well, how would you describe me to people or whatever? I was like, oh, you know blonde and she's like
I have red hair and I looked at her. I was like in my head was going
Oh, she changed her hair color.
And I was like, oh, just, I meant when I first started dating
you, you were like,
could you see it then though when she said that?
Yeah, when she said it, I noticed it.
But it's happened with cool up too, where like,
like Mr. McGoo, I don't look at people's hair.
Oh, like it's his red.
You don't look at their hair?
No, I like you.
So you ignore the top of the head.
The top of that, I'm, I'm, anything above. No, I like to see you ignore the top of the head. The top of that.
I'm I'm anything above the eyebrows.
I'm not interested.
So cool.
I like that.
If my wife is there, I will look.
But if my wife is not present, I will not look at the top.
Cool up has changed her hair.
Well, like when she comes home from, you know, getting her hair done or whatever, it
usually takes her saying like, what do you think?
You know, I need to go like, oh, you did something.
You have to wait for it to put down all the bags
and have boxes and stuff.
Of course, yes.
Well, what do you think?
And you're a typical man in that sense.
That's very, that's very like stereotypical man.
I don't think it's not stereotypical.
I'm not stereotypical.
I don't, I don't think it's weird.
I don't know why I don't look at it.
It is odd.
Nobody is that kind of thing like, we're like in like the typical sort of thing where it's weird. I don't know why I don't look at it. It is odd. I thought it was good. No, but it is that kind of thing.
We're in the typical sort of thing where it's a woman going,
no, does anything different about me?
He's like, did you get feathered?
And then she's like, no, I can't make you.
By the way, I wanted to ask you, did you get feathered?
Yes, I got feathered.
I dyed my hair red for a job that I can't speak of.
And I kind of, it was kind of interesting because I like have
turned down dying my hair for jobs multiple times.
Are you playing Boz of the clown?
Yeah. Fuck yourself.
Fuck myself.
Yeah.
Fuck yourself.
I have like, I've been asked to color multiple times for jobs because a lot of times they're
sitcoms,
stuff will be as basic as to think that if there are
two people who have the same, some of our hair
that they can be told apart.
Yeah, right, yeah, yeah.
So they'll be like,
can you dye your hair darker for this?
And I'd be like, no.
And then they would do someone else's hair.
That's happened a couple of times.
So I thought we were the other person
who had to dye their hair because-
But they already dye their hair a lot.
And I always got out of it because I had virgin hair
because I never colored my hair. And so they'd be like, oh, we can't ruin lot. And I always got out of it because I had virgin hair because I never colored my hair and so they'd be like,
oh, we can't ruin it.
And so then this job,
I had been thinking about possibly changing my hair color.
Excuse me.
And so it was kind of in my mind,
but it was still something I probably would have taken
months to even consider doing for real.
But then they said,
will you dye your hair red for us?
And I was like, sure.
And then everyone was like, so fucking happy about it.
And then-
Then it did you suspicion-
Well, yeah, I mean, in retrospect-
Like, in retrospect.
They like this too much.
It was for the character because the character has red hair.
Because she's a firebrand.
It's supposed to be that way.
And so I was willing to go with it.
But the second it happened, I got,
because it was like, so it wasn't like I spent, you know, a while looking at pictures and choosing
the exact shade or anything like that. It was really just like, they chose it for you.
Yeah, but I was like kind of weighed in, but then they kind of ignored it. It was not,
this ended up not being the color that I thought it was going to be. And after it happened, I was like,
I'm sorry, my throat's really annoying today. But after it happened, I was like, I'm sorry, my throat's really annoying today.
But after it happened, I was like,
truly like I couldn't leave this long fast enough
because it was like, it's hard to like look at yourself
when you're not-
Go ahead, clear your throat.
Oh, sorry for making it hard.
It's hard to like look at yourself for me,
to like look at myself with when there's been a change.
If I'm not sure I like it, I don't want anyone
to witness what I'm going through
with my deciding whether I like it or not.
Like I don't want them to.
So once you've made the decision,
you invite people in.
Yeah, but I was like,
I need to be a home alone looking at this and.
I need to be something cool on my face.
Yeah, I completely understand this.
And I think like if after you got your hair cut, if the person would walk away and just like give you a party. So like get
a second look a little bit and be like, Oh, put your hands through and kind of think
about it. Yeah, because you feel so much pressure when the one just had to take you to look
at it, to look at to decide to I mean like my typical going for me
Like typically going to the salon. It's pretty basic. I do like the same four variations of a thing over and over again
And then I'm like I know if I like it. I know that once I wash it will be different. I know what's gonna happen
This was like so unusual for me because I've never colored my hair that it was like
Okay, I have red hair now. He was just like I don't even know what that means
It's suddenly like through everything I knew about myself into like
Another dimension and it was so strange
because I was like, wait, so I guess I've been holding on
to my hair color as being a huge part of who I am.
Really?
I didn't know that.
Because your hair is, how would you describe it?
Like a blondeish brown, dirty blonde hair.
But I'm filthy.
Filthy, dirty, dirty, dirty blonde.
Splushy blonde hair. But I truly was like, dirty, dirty, blood. Well, she blonde hair.
But I truly was like, I don't know,
don't you kind of take your hair color for granted?
I feel like I would just never really think about it.
But then if your hair was suddenly like a different color,
you'd be like, well, okay.
Well, mine, yeah, mine has started like the gray
has really come in in the front and on the sides.
And I'm still a party in the back.
But I like it because it was a gradual thing.
You know, and I just like you woke up.
No, no, yeah.
And I mean, just shock white.
My hair is a dark for a really long time.
For a really long time.
So it's not like really like the last year is when the gray
has really become like noticeable.
Like you can see it on the front.
And I'm okay with it, but I think that,
but I've dyed my hair in the past.
Like I've dyed my hair when I was younger,
I did it just to fucking do it.
You know what I am?
Really like what?
Blue.
I dyed it blonde.
Wow.
When I was in, how old was I like 18, something like that?
Yeah, you were 18.
To try it. And you know, horrible scabs on my head.
Oh my god.
It was sort of a homemade job that some people could do.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a horrifying procedure.
That sounds disturbing.
And it looked ridiculous on me.
Like it not, it did not.
Was it like Eminem blonde?
Yeah, it was like platinum blonde. Yeah. yeah. And then I let it grow out and then I for a while I had like
I had just like blonde tips on my hair and it was like I lose like a porcupine
that's all the way to the wheels. That was that was like a year later, like I let it just gradually come out. Was that like sort of Philly style?
I don't know.
Just blot out of it, either.
I don't know.
It was not Philly style.
You've got your hair spot.
I've, yeah.
Yeah, I've dyed my hair.
I'll be yours.
She haven't brought me tea, by the way, which was very kind.
I did dye it for a role, much like you.
What was it?
Oh, hey, did you go black for the Sarah Silver?
Sarah Silver?
Yeah, did I talk about that?
Yes.
Yes. So that was, they did it several times.
Was that upsetting at all?
It didn't look good.
It just cut it so fast.
I wouldn't say it looked great.
Yeah.
But it is easier with shorter hair because you just let a girl
a little bit and come out and it kind of made me look to pale.
I think that's sort of like a vampire. I made me look to pale, I think. I guess it looked like a vampire.
I've had my hair black and I looked like,
somebody from an indeterminate country.
Like who this guy does.
Yeah.
He looks like he's from somewhere else.
Yeah.
But God bless him, thank.
But God bless him for coming over.
Go back where you came from.
Yeah.
But yeah, I used to do for fun.
I used to cut my own hair for a long time.
Oh yeah.
I've never done anything like that.
Yeah.
I think it would be harder when you have long hair because there's so many factors of stuff
you have to do.
Yeah, and you can mess it up really easily.
When you're just cutting it short, it's just kind of like, you know, like, if it's choppy
or whatever.
Yeah, I've cut my hair.
You took a picture and posted on Instagram
after you had a die.
And I really, I thought it looked really good.
It looked appropriate to your face.
And then I saw you not long after in person here.
And it was so much less a dramatic change.
Well, because I got it taken down a bit.
Oh, between then?
Oh, wow.
Okay.
So I like initially it looked like little mermaid red.
Like it's truly like very red.
And then like some of that was coming out
in the wash a little bit.
No legs.
Yeah, I had no legs.
And that was.
You were wearing a C-show bra?
Well, yeah.
So that's what I was wearing.
Not a no connection to that.
And you couldn't talk.
Yeah.
And you were thrilled.
You could talk.
Then you got a day down a day,
then you could talk to a wire.
Exactly. Well, I went to a differencey-to-downlady, then you could talk to a wire. Exactly.
Well, I went to a different salon
because it was closer to my house
and I was like, can you strip this from my hair?
And then they did something,
but it took forever and it cost $150,
and then it was still definitely red.
But when I was in the salon,
it looked like she like blew my hair dry.
I get like looked browner.
And I was like, you got it mainly. This looks fine, like it like blew my hair dry. I get like looked browner. And I was like, you got it mainly.
Like this looks fine.
Like it's for the most part.
And then I went, like I went to Target
and then I went in the bathroom at Target
and my hair was red.
It was just like, okay, I was like praising this woman so much.
I was like, oh, you saved the day
because I was like really worried about it
while this was at, while the like process was happening.
She was like, I don't know if I'll come out.
And then it did, I thought.
And then I was like, it didn't. And I just like gave for all this praise and money yeah and
150 of those dollars you love I know I love them so much and then I called the original lady and
she told me to use Prell like cheap cheap Steve the original lady Steve more like um and I just bought some Prell on the way here and I'm gonna go home and hope it
oh man but now you now your hair will be bouncing and behaving or no that was perked yeah
it was permed plus yeah prell by the way supposed to be cheap shampoo still how much
how much do you know all of those dollars that was with those inflation things where I was like
if I think about a cheap shampoo,
you're saying a 99 cents.
Yeah, yeah.
Everything, everything this cheap,
I think to us is 99 cents.
Anything above that is, I had to get a perm once.
What?
Why?
When I was in Oklahoma.
Oh, I knew you were gonna say that.
To play Curly, of course.
Yeah, but can't they just call him Curly?
Does he have to have, and all it made,
you know, I've sort of wavy hair.
It just made it like slightly more wavy, you know, it wasn't like it, it was a tight
curl or anything like that. And then it was a whole summer. So it all just gradually
went away. Right. You know, also who cares? Yeah. About the entire story. Not you and everything
ever said. The entire story. Okay. Look at this tea bag. Oh, this is so fancy.
Don't you think?
It's like in a little sashay.
Sashay.
Shampoo.
Anyway, all I want to say about it is, I can't wait for you to be back.
Don't you look like dumb people in your life to say you look, you look.
Yes, but then there's, here's what happens sometimes.
And this happens anytime, anyone changes anything and tell me if you get this with anything where someone just goes you change your hair and then you're like yeah and they're like
all right you know and they don't say they don't know where the other I have had this multiple times
with this red where someone's like oh you change your hair color and then I'll be like yeah
yeah it's maybe they think that you are unsure of how you feel about
it so they don't want to offer an opinion because you're like jumping the gun going like, yeah,
it's for a thing, you're not going like, yeah, it's fabulous. Here's why I think it is.
I don't know, go on. Here's why I think it is. And it also depends on the relationship of the person
that you have to the person. Or acquaintance. Because it's more acquaintance, I think that they are,
you have from their point of view, like from from my point of view would be the same thing. I didn't see that picture on Instagram
It's not that dramatic a change. I it doesn't look that dramatic. No, it's not like a guy who doesn't recognize hair
It's weird because take it from him the original red
Yes, so red that I walked around being like,
oh great, everyone thinks I'm quirky now.
Like it was like this feeling of like,
wow, it's like, you know, I realized all my,
I don't actually don't judge people
for coloring their hair,
but there was something about doing it to myself
where I was like, I guess I want everyone to look at me.
Like it was like so red.
Have you ever gone like blonde?
No, I've never done anything.
No, she's never colored her hair.
That's why this is a big deal.
Done.
Highlights, no.
I think I have natural,
but I have natural blonde highlights.
No, I never want a hat.
I don't want to change my appearance.
I sleep with my, like the elephant man,
with my head up.
Yeah, but actually I've always loved when other girls
will like change the hair a lot.
Like I think it's so cool.
And I'm like, oh, they,
yeah, why don't you go out to do this?
That's what I always would think.
And then I did it.
I went, do you feel like you stop?
Who me?
Me.
What's the closest you ever came to doing it
of your own volition?
Scott that means because you want to.
Oh, thank you.
I really have never.
For what now?
I've never really come that close to doing it.
I usually am just like, but you've thought about it.
Because because my mom has always made a big thing about me not dying my hair
because she's like, you'll, you'll be on this thing your whole life of having.
Now you'll never get that back.
You'll never get that rich in color.
Like I have a cousin who was like always trying to get my color
because she used to have that color,
but it's hard to get because it's natural.
Don't you just grow out?
Yeah, but then like you have roots
and so it's like this kind of constant like dying process
unless you get your roots grow and then you like,
so, but anyway.
Are you gonna let your roots clout?
You don't have to do that.
It's gonna fade, this is gonna fade
because this is semi-permanent.
So it'll just like go away supposedly, but I wanted to do that. It's gonna fade. This is gonna fade, because this is semi-permanent. So it'll just go away supposedly,
but I wanted to go faster.
But when I told my mom I was dying my hair
for this job, she went, no!
And then I was like, stop.
I'm under the hold.
This is a job.
I said yes, it's happening.
Was Trisha supposed to say she was gonna spank you?
She said nothing of the sort.
Yeah, I couldn't even go a lot with that.
But now, are you, do you have any of those things
like things your parents always said that like then it's hard
to change it in your mind?
I eventually was like, I have to do this eventually.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Or I'll just forever be like, because I think as an actor,
I'm like, I want to be able to be versatile and like change it and like,
I don't want to feel like I have to always look the same.
Yeah, no, of course.
I mean, that's a bit more than the job.
It's ingrained in me to not change it.
Well, I got in trouble when I was in
Joseph and the amazing technical or dream coat
for getting a haircut.
And they were very upset at me.
And they gave me a talking too.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, because it wasn't a cut that was like, it just kept it.
It wasn't Bible appropriate.
But I think we did it for six weeks or whatever
and I got a haircut around week three
and it was shorter than when we started
and they were like, you can't do that.
You need to clear any haircut through us.
You know, I'm just like, my hair isn't a huge part
of this thing.
Yeah, that does seem interesting though for that. They would be upset. But it was a lesson of just, you know, I'm just like, my hair isn't a huge part of this. Yeah, the disteam interesting, though, for that, they would be upset.
But it was a lesson of just, you know, you can't.
Well, I guess it's because part of, it's the way you looked when they cast you.
Yeah, that they, they felt that you had a certain look that was part of the appeal of you
for that character.
I think I was a warm body that happened to go to the school and they just put me into
a family all excited, sort of warm, warm body.
Did your parents have any things like you could never do? And they just put me in the same way. I'm like, sorry, the sort of warm, warm body.
Did your parents have any things
like you could never do?
It's tough because my parents were,
my first of all, my dad, who knows what he thought
about anything, right?
But my mom could be very contentious.
And so it was a lot of, rather than me,
if she told me something like that,
I wouldn't think, oh, I should never do this.
I would think I'm going to do that for sure.
Oh, yeah.
But the closest I remember I came home from,
there was a thing called senior week,
which was after you graduated high school.
After?
Yeah, after you graduated high school.
You were so, I know.
I know, it's weird to me now,
but we all did this. It was a week after, right after the you graduated high school you know I know it's weird to me now but we all did this. It was a week after
right after the graduate high school. After graduated? I'm just I'm a stonest bit. Are you
learning English right back there? You could roll. What about Duolingo? A week after you graduated.
You. I just all the pieces of this of the fact
that you're gonna be roped into doing something
high school-related for an entire week,
not just a day of life.
Let me get them all out,
and then you can express your incredulity
because none of it makes sense.
Okay.
This happens a week in the week.
A week in the week.
I'm sorry.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I mean, it's one thing when we do it.
Just like, you can't help yourself.
You say a thing.
This is different.
This is me.
So, graduation was when, like,
usually, I was when like,
I guess in June, desegrats, desegrats.
In June. And so I think not long after that,
and I don't know if this was common to,
this might have been common to Catholic schools in the area,
where you would rent a place at the Jersey Shore,
either like you'd get a beach house
where you're all together, you get rooms or something.
It's just as high schoolers.
Yeah.
It sounds so fun.
Yeah, yeah.
Why would you not do it?
See if you had heard all the details,
not a bit on board.
Because it's a big, it's a week-long party.
That sounds great.
You know, and then-
Is it official through the school or the school?
No, no, no.
This was just like, there's like a weird custom
that we all knew about and took part in.
Uh-huh.
And like three hours away or something, Or no, not even that long.
Not like two hour drive, maybe something like that.
And you would, the idea was that you and your friends
would converge on the same beach area.
So like we went to Wildwood, New Jersey.
And this was a place where you knew you could probably
drink underage
Kids are having sex, you know, because they're away from their parents.
It's like a weird living as an adult kind of experience.
Although I have to say, and maybe this is the fact that I'm a woman,
but when I thought, that sounds so fun, I thought,
oh God, something horrible would happen to me or somebody at that event.
Yeah, I'm sure it's different for a guy.
It's like, hey, we're gonna go down to the beach.
We're all gonna have sex.
But for a woman it's like, oh, I'm gonna go down to the beach
and be pressured into having sex or something bad.
What were there some guys that wanted it?
I don't know.
Hey, and some people weren't
loving relationships.
Well, others.
Some people weren't having relationships.
Now me, as a T totaling virgin,
I don't know why I didn't.
I don't know why I didn't.
Just because my friends were doing it.
T-Totalling always sounds like alcoholic to me.
Like it's like the word sounds like someone who's,
well, well, well, I mean, I know it's the opposite,
but.
It should be a word for being drunk.
Yeah, right, doesn't it?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You know, in the old West,
they used to call a drunk a tangle foot. Really?
Why?
Because he's always getting tangled up.
Yeah.
Falling down.
Cause he's fucking drunk.
Cause he's tripping over his own fate.
Hey, dangle foot.
Look at this, dangle foot.
Look at this, dangle foot.
Shoot it.
So you were a T totaling virgin.
Did you have fun?
No.
And was it everyone in the school or was I remember it as being a bad experience?
Yeah.
I was hung up on this girl.
I'm sure I would have had a bad time. Yeah, girl. I'm sure I would have had a bad time.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sure I would have had the worst time
because I would have liked somebody who doesn't like me
and then they're all fucking somebody else.
And I'm like, I did have a hook up with this girl
that was confined to just, this was,
this was like a very fraught thing where she was my best friend
and then we started having a physical relationship.
I'm excited.
And then it was very, it was so dramatic.
Yeah. It was very dramatic. Yeah. Um, but we then it was very, it was so dramatic. It was very dramatic. Um, but we,
it was, so it was a big deal. We went like farther than we'd ever gone before, which was not very
far at all. First base. He pets her face. She took over Vale. Um, and, uh, But the rest of the time was just like miserable.
I was miserable.
But another custom that happened during this time was that dudes would get their ears pierced.
They would get a pierced ear.
Oh wow.
By another student.
No, no, no, you go to a place and do it.
And so I got my ear pierced.
And this is like 1986.
You did just sent you and had your ear pierced on throwing shaders and then I was just listening.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I came home and was it the thing where it was like you got to get
your left, not your right? Oh, yeah. And I can't remember which was the one.
The left was the one where the right was where you're gay. Right. So I got my left ear because
I was straight as an arrow dude. Yeah. Fucking I like fucking girls.
Meanwhile.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Like who can get?
So when I came home, my mom saw the ear.
I said, I like, I don't know why.
This was like a real Lucy in the,
Charlie Brown in the football thing.
Yeah.
Where I would say something to my mother like,
hey, look at this.
And she'd be like, no.
So she said her response was at least it's not a tattoo.
And she was smiling when she said it.
But it was, she was not on board with that.
Did it ever get infected?
No, it never did.
It never did.
Yeah, they did a good job.
No, you did too.
Oh, thank you.
Well, you have to twist it.
You have to twist it.
Twisty twisty. They were all thinking. Well, you have to twist it. You have to twist it.
Twisty twisty.
Like the gold ball.
I had a pierced ear for about probably two years and then I got tired of it.
Yeah.
Mine are still, I feel like I can still feel where the whole was.
You have piercings?
I have like three at least.
Yeah.
The tracks.
Why? Yeah. When I was in Joseph's, I guess when I said the old picture,, yeah. The tracks. Why did? Yeah, when I was in Joseph,
I guess when I said the old picture,
the video that it was,
a stout kid.
Like when you were kind of a, um,
a punky bruister.
What?
You were a little, you were a little,
you were a little scar.
You were a bit of a punky bruister.
You're a little bit of a scar, baby.
Like you were like, I like the idea of skateboarding.
I won't do it myself.
You were kind of,
you were kind of a blossom.
Yeah.
No, when I was in Joseph, I think I got a- You were kind of a blossom. Yeah.
No, when I was in Joseph, I think I got a...
You were a webster.
I probably got a couple of them for that too, because everyone was in...
For Joseph.
Yeah, everyone was encouraged to grow a beard and have ear rings and all this kind of stuff.
Oh, whoa.
Go, go, go, Joseph.
No, what they saying.
You're left, you're not.
The right one are your gay.
I remember sort of on what Paul was talking about.
I remember being inspired this 15 and going up to a speech.
That's a red to every conversation.
Oh, she's saying that because of what I just said.
Oh, I take great pride.
I went up to Stanford for a speech competition.
I like telling somebody later.
And so what I said inspired them to talk about a different topic.
And it was delightful how much she felt comfortable to share because of the platform I had said that for her.
Scott's like, my turn, can I finish?
Scott, tell your story.
I finished, I finished, I finished. I finished.
I finished.
I know.
Oh, I know.
GOP.
Oh, I know.
That's a real GOP, R-I-P.
That's a real GOP.
Why was that the GOP R-I-P?
He was independent.
Yeah, I was voted for him.
I was voted for him.
Oh my God.
I was like almost convinced on that.
I had a friend who was like almost convinced on that.
I had a friend who was like,
who's like, you ever heard of Rossboro?
And I said, no, and he's like,
he really makes sense.
Because the guy that took you,
you took the Lion King, is it?
No, no, no.
I mean, this is years of Rossboro.
Hey, Rossboro.
No, he was like, he really makes sense
because he's gonna run this country like a business.
He's like a successful businessman.
Oh my God. I like a one that got no votes because he was so in the middle.
He did, he's the most successful independent, I think, of all time.
Yeah, so a lot of people believe that he, he enabled Bill Clinton to be president.
Because he split the vote.
He was the only independent who's ever been allowed
into the debate to like the final debates
between the two parties.
Suddenly there's three because he was so popular.
And it was because like everyone was like,
every politician is stupid.
And this guy's just a real plane speaker
and he's speaking from, yeah, it was sort of the proto-Trump.
And I got snookered into it a little bit.
And I was like, it actually made more sense
with him than it did with Donald Trump.
Yeah, maybe. I don't recall the detail.
It actually seemed political, right?
Like, I mean, like, or did it or did it not?
He seemed intelligent.
It was like, he was a business man.
He was from outside of politics, but he was using all of his own money.
Yes. And he talked, and he talked almost exclusively about economics.
And that's, which is all anybody gives a shit about.
Right. And so it made, it made sense.
And plus, I don't know anything about politics at the time. economics and that's which is all anybody gives a shit about. Right. And so it made, it made sense.
And plus I don't know anything about politics at the time.
I remember once I was like going into one of my college courses, I don't even know what
course it was.
And someone was talking about how like this is 88 at the time and they're like going to
be voting for Bush.
The piano year.
And he's like, why wouldn't you vote for Bush?
I, you know, because I'm in Orange County and it's like very Republican.
And I'm like, two words, Dan Quail, he's stupid.
I don't want him, you know, but that was,
because he spelled potato.
But that was my, the extent of my knowledge
about politics is like, this guy's dumb, so he can't, you know?
It's so insane, by the way, like,
potato was enough to ruin it for me.
To ruin it.
It was more than that though.
I mean, but that's a, you know, a bunch of gaffes.
But like, that's so nothing.
And I feel like it's the one everyone still talks about.
Yeah.
Or it's like he's remembered for that.
Yeah.
Well, what's so great about that and what mustn't be forgotten
is that he was correcting a child who had written potato.
I knew it was at a school.
Then he was like, up, I think you forgot something.
Oh, he threw the E through the head.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, well that's worse. That's so.
John.
The E. I drew a book. I drew every word. I drew every word in this book. Please buy my book.
Look at the book, the book.
The book. What I draw my signature on my check.
Do you remember the debate, the vice president's show debate that year with Admiral Stockdale?
Yeah.
Is who is the one who was like, who am I?
Yeah, Admiral Stockdale.
He picked this, Ross Broad picked this running made this guy Admiral James Stockdale.
Who's an old man?
Who am I?
What am I doing here?
Yeah, it was a great opening line.
That's what he said.
Everybody laughed.
Yeah, but then the rest of the debate, he couldn't hear so well.
So he would wander away from the podium.
I think to go somewhere where you could hear that.
Closer to where you could hear, yeah.
But he would walk off screen.
So it would be Al Gore and Dan Quail
and then this guy would just walk away
and just wander away.
It was nuts.
Who am I?
Who what's going on?
And then you walk away.
Hashtag walk away.
You were gonna say something. You don't't care all right. Let's take a break
Inspired him to say something which inspired me to say something
All right, we're gonna take a break
What's the ladies' hell, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm a woman and we're back on 3D.
Oh, I'm a woman's telling us that.
We're back on 3D.
Now, this is the show where we just riff.
The 3D boys are back. Maybe 3D likes that art that somebody three of them. Now this is the show where we just riff. The three of them boys are back.
Maybe three of them.
I would like that art that somebody made of us.
Yes, thanks.
If you have some art send it to us.
Is this sort of Animaniacs art?
No, I liked that one, but I was thinking of the one
where it was like someone who wrote them three of them boys
or like the three of them.
I don't think I saw.
Oh, I'll find it instead.
What's the platform?
I think it could be a shirt if I'm,
oh dang.
And I also think the Animaniacs one could be a shirt too, honestly.
Dang.
We got a lot of good quality.
Oh boy, please send us all your stuff if you can.
If you can't send us your stuff, well, we understand.
Hey, and if you totally send us your stuff, send it.
Hey, if you can't send it, don't send it.
We understand if you can't send us all your stuff.
If you can't send it, don't.
Please, can. send it don't
All your stuff are belong to us
So guys I was in a car accident. Where in New York City, New York State, just a few days ago, just a few days ago,
what was the situation?
I will tell you exactly that.
Okay, start with the who, the what, the where, the when, the why.
I finished off with the house.
Quint to see.
I was there to do some shows at the Bell House and Brooklyn, my favorite venue in America.
By the way, it worked out well with your Philly show.
I gathered.
Yes, it did. Yes, it did.
Did you get the old Philadelphia Hello?
No, they did not throw batteries at me.
I thought it was nice.
I can say that.
Ring your Liberty bell.
I'm from there.
Ooh, la, la, la.
My, my, my, my, my, my, my Liberty bell run by that.
There's a crack in mine.
I try to do a summer.
And the ass crack. So we super ego took the train
down to or up to New York. We did shows there the next night. I did my show, Spontorco.
Hey, what did they say? Everybody in. That famous, that famous conductor's cry.
Everybody in.
No, I was being the audience at the show going,
everybody in.
Everybody in.
And there was clapping.
It didn't make sense, but you weren't supposed to know what I was.
So it was a very tight scheduled, tightly scheduled trip,
but I did want to go to the Siobroadway play.
For very much, I wanted to see Hades town.
I thought that I would like to, even though I might be back there later in the year, my only shot was Sunday, Matt and A.
I wanted to see Hades town out of all the things. And so I invited the people,
the cast of Spontor code to go with me. What if you invited the cast of Hades town?
Hey guys, you want to come see your show? I'll buy the tickets.
And then hey, we're all in the audience. And nothing happened. Oh,
they got yelled at. So we went, saw the show, like we were, everything was, was down
to the minute. Like we got there right before the show started. Right. Sweaty, sweaty.
I actually did pretty good. I timed it very well where I dressed for the day.
Like I was wearing a suit.
Lin and suit got out of the hotel into the Uber to the theater right inside.
It was perfect.
Boom sat down lights go down.
Boom sat down lights go down.
Hey, he's down.
That's bomb sat down lights go down.
Hey, he's down.
That's gonna be on every poster. What do they do? What do they do? Lights go down. That's what you mean on every poster.
What do they do?
What do they do?
Lights go down.
Hey, sound.
Come on, guys.
And so on the poster, they rhyme down with down.
Yeah.
People are skeptical of the show.
This is a musical, right?
Boom, set down.
Hey, let's go down.
They had time to think of a better rhyme for the poster.
So we call a big SUV Uber
to take us all to the bellhouse takes longer. I would imagine to get an SUV Uber, doesn't
it? It's New York City. There's all been around the streets. There's vehicles all over
the play. True enough. So we get, we get the car pretty quickly, all pile in, we're having a great time, we're talking about the show.
And we are on park Avenue, we're about to, I think get to the tunnel to go to Brooklyn.
And boom, we get hit hard.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, It was the time of my life. Oh my god. You know what? Wow. I feel like I heard that kids' voice in my head.
And boom, that's not right.
And where did they hit you?
They hit us.
They hit us on the side.
Like where it was me and Janet
and her boyfriend Brandon was in the front seat.
We were all in a row.
We were on that side.
And I think the impact probably is mostly where
like kind of between me and Janet.
And it was a hard hit and we stopped and the traffic was barely moving. So I don't
know where this guy came from.
I did work up the speed. Yeah, I feel like he was had turned the corner and was trying
to get across lanes. But it's still it was so crazy. He was really hard. And he
never said, Oh, what happened was I did this or did that? Did they blame it on he kept
going? I don't know if he was trying to get away or if he was trying to pull over. But
he went, he went like a little over into the side to the, to the curb. And when we got
out, you know, we were all checked in with each other. Everybody's fine. The driver
was fine. Um, did you check in with each other, everybody's fine, the driver was fine.
Did you check in with him last?
Did you check in with your friends first?
Well, the driver got out of the car immediately,
so we all checked in with each other first.
I know you're trying to catch me, Scott.
I know you're trying to catch me.
He cares about people.
I would check in with my friends first.
I'm not ashamed.
We checked in with our friends.
I would push my friends heads down and go,
driver, driver, are you okay? I don't care about these people. Are you
all right?
We did that thing where, you know, we just suffered this weird trauma where we we kept asking
each other over and over again. As if it was a new thought. You know, it's gotta be a better
kid.
It's so skier.
There's gotta be a better question.
Uncertainly.
Are you okay? Because everyone's first instinct is to say, yeah, who's president?
No, but you know anything.
What do you know?
Like any time anyone falls over to everything, you go, are you okay?
Everyone goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, even if they are very hurt.
I don't think so.
I think you're equating it to somebody wakes you up with a phone call and you say I wasn't
asleep.
No, or like if you're embarrassed by the way you were hurt.
I'm fine. I'm fine. No, everyone's first instinct is you say I wasn't asleep. No, or like if you're embarrassed by the way you were hurt. I'm fine.
No, everyone's first instant is to say, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Well, I said I'm the question.
I think a better question might be like, how did you get hurt or did that hurt you?
I don't, I don't, I don't even know.
I hate to debunk you.
Did you feel any impact from that? What injuries do you have if you do have them?
Yeah.
And answer me honestly.
And think about it.
It's a time-waster to get through the, yeah, I'm okay is to know I've actually cut my
handle.
But here's the thing, not everybody said, I'm okay.
People were like, I think I'm okay.
You know what I mean?
It was like some people, because as the day went on, some people were feeling things,
some people were not.
I never really felt anything.
I feel like I almost felt a twinge in my neck
and Janet had,
because Janet already had a,
I'm not sure.
Janet already had a pinch nerve.
So she had all kinds of stuff with her.
She had like a CBD balm that I put on my neck and I was fine. I
don't think anything happened to me at all. When we got out, we asked the driver, are you
all right? He asked us if we were all right. We asked each other a few more times. Then
when I saw the Uber that we were in, there was hardly any damage. And then it wasn't until
we got in a new Uber to go, because we still had to go to the show,
that we saw the cab that had hit us
and the entire left front of it was demolished.
And there was just like broken plastic
and shit all over the place.
This is what, someone just walked in.
Who was it?
Another podcast tried to walk in here.
Oh, they always try now
Not with the three dumb boys if this were a different podcast
We would say come on in get on mic. Whatever. Why not just chat. We won't do it on this nope
This will only be us and only us unless she'll be get to speak or zig which
Never Devon
We'll say that never never never never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never might be, I don't think he's homeless, he might just be...
Who's this? The driver of the other?
No, this is a different guy.
Who, I, there's this guy standing there?
Who was on the other side of the street who was saying,
hey, I saw the whole thing.
You know, you guys gotta get yourselves checked out.
And we're like, yeah, we will, we will.
And he seemed, like he seemed like he could be maybe
not all there.
Yeah. But then I looked and saw that he was, he'd gotten off a bike.
So he was dressed for a bike.
He had to wear with all to have a bike.
There was a million degrees.
Yeah, but he was like, that's why he looked the way he looks.
But I thought he looked a little unusual because he was sweating and wearing biking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he was not a wild-eyed crazy man of New York City.
Yeah, yeah.
Of which there are many.
And it's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this.
And that's one of the reasons I love this. And that's one of the reasons I love this. And that's one of the reasons I love this. And that's one of the reasons I love this. And that's one of the reasons I love this. think that you're okay, but you could maybe not be okay. Okay. So did you get yourself checked out? No.
I will though.
I will.
But when?
Well, I have to make a doctor's appointment anyway, so I'm going to have my whole-
Would you like an examination now?
How did you-
Why don't you do that thing where you throw a briefcase?
I think I can.
I thought that he had to fast because he had a physical.
I had a physical experience.
What did this happen today?
I didn't hear this, it was pre-meetalk.
Yeah, that's why I couldn't I couldn't go earlier
You would want to take it earlier, but I didn't inspire this
That's good
Me And you're like, let's get a more physical. The physical, I have me, a physical, physical.
I want to get a physical.
Please give me a physical.
Put your finger up, Baba.
Well, that's the thing I was telling Lauren.
They, they all of the advances in modern science.
Just a fun side.
And they haven't figured out a better system
than a guy putting his finger on your butt.
Oh, so wait, did you have to fast because of the finger?
No, no, it's for the blood test.
Oh.
But I'm sure, look, I don't know.
I didn't understand.
Honestly, maybe the blood test is a shield
and they just don't want like, you know,
poop up your butt.
Doodie, doodie.
But I mean, there's no, there's no machine that can do this.
Yeah, it's get full of crazy.
That's all just some guy going, I feel good to me.
And my, and my guy is like, he always tries to make you feel
comfortable.
He always, he always has, has a joke at the ready.
I see my finger guy.
The jokes don't, it's not a joke. It's not joke. He always has like a joke at the ready. I see my finger guy. The jokes don't, it's not a joke, it's not a joke like hey,
this isn't, he always has like a story.
I know, whatever, whatever,
he's passing the time so it's not weird for him either.
I'll log in and get through a story.
So he's going, he goes,
he goes, hey, you hear the one about a finger that walks into a
butthole?
There he is.
So a finger walks into a butthole.
I think anytime that you're in that situation,
the doctor's going like, okay, no, where was I?
Why?
I don't want to hear a story.
Why don't we put on music and just relax a little?
I like it.
I like it.
He's trying to humanize it.
I understand.
But I like the feeling of what he's doing.
But imagine a machine going haywire.
Imagine the finger machine.
I don't mean that there's a machine.
Like a metal robot.
No, it's like I feel nothing.
I'm not saying that I want a machine like a robot like dildoing me in and out of my butt.
I'm saying there's got to be like some sort of thing.
No one thought you were saying that.
That is very specific.
Oh, you did.
I stand corrected.
I mean, there's got to be like, know how they, the advances in taking your temperature
are so wildly different than when we were kids.
Yeah, like you could just like rub it on your forehead.
Yeah, now they just like rub something on your forehead.
Like do that for the prostate,
rub something on my forehead.
I'm sure remember the last time I had my temperature taken,
it's been a really long time.
Oh my thank you.
You gotta get your temperature taken, bro.
How did you get that? What did you get? That part of a physical, the last time I had a physical in my temperature. No, no, I think. Yeah, you got to get your temperature taken, bro. I got to see what he did.
Is that part of a physical?
The last time I had a physical...
No, no, no, I just had to take it in recently.
I had a little chicken.
Did you have a fever?
I was ill, so I...
Why did you have it?
I went to urgent care.
I went to urgent care.
I went to urgent care.
You did?
I went to urgent care.
Oola, lava.
I can't go there.
I went to urgent care because I was worried
I might possibly have a tick bite, which I
didn't.
Ooh.
But I had just been in Rhode Island.
Was it from a guy I was Griffin Newman?
Oh, yeah, the tick.
I was in Rhode Island and with Arden and.
Oh, that's right.
The biggest little scene.
And she's, yes, and she's from there and she just, when we got there, she was like making
a whole little speech about.
Was it too bad while there?
No.
She made a little speech about ticks and I'm too well.
God for them and she had this antidote,
in case we did get a tick bite and bubble, blah.
And then I was just like, yeah, yeah, I got it,
who cares?
I kind of was like, that won't happen to me.
Should I bar it in up?
I'm tired of you talking.
But I was, I was aware of them.
And I was like, you know, I had my, whenever I wasn't
wearing long pants, I would like check my ankle
or whatever, but I got back home.
And then I, I had this big bug bite that was like,
said swell, like swelled up and then like,
it looked like it had a red, it got swollen.
I had a muscular bug bite.
Yeah, and it looked like it had a ring around it,
which is what I was looking at was the sign of death.
But I went to a virgin care because I was like,
just go, just like, but it was like Sunday at 10 p.m.
and they couldn't see me till midnight.
There's a whole big to do.
Turns out it wasn't that, but I was still kind of nervous
about it, but then they gave me some claim,
but they did check my.
But I was also like in retrospect,
cause it like basically went away the next day.
It was truly like, wow.
It was like, it better, it's better.
Yeah, but I was worried that possibly I was just a little stoned and thought that it
was right around it and it wasn't, because truly there wasn't.
Because your eyes were right around.
Because that head was not that bad.
I think I got myself into a tizzy over it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because of 420.
420.
Have you ever had hives either of you?
No, but I had shingles. I know you had shingles.
Yeah, I had chicken pox.
I had hives one time with the last the last comedy special I recorded.
I was really I was stressed out about it, but I'm so I feel like I'm stressed out all the time.
And then I noticed these um these uh red dots on my arm that were itchy. And of course, Jayne thought they were bed bug bites,
and then we may have bed bugs.
Terrifying, of course.
Which is bed bugs at home.
The seller is better home.
I could honestly like convince myself.
I always said it.
Bed bugs at home, selling at home.
Bed bugs away, seller can play.
So would you feel like you could convince yourself that so easily though?
If you're doing it, it's like terrifying.
We were absolutely doing it because you look at the pictures.
And of course, that exactly what it looks like.
Yeah, when I was in New York for like five days,
I was convinced when I got home that there were bed bugs.
Yeah, but they were they were hives and they the next day, they were gone.
Gone completely like no evidence at all.
All the things that we've discussed that you've had on your body.
You've had.
Merse. Merse. Yeah, that's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking.
That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking.
That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking.
That's the one that I'm taking.
That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm taking. That's the one that I'm to. That's right. Wait, but why did you go to urgent care?
I was just, well, I was due to, I had a due time.
Why did you go to urgent care all the due time?
Did you have a fever or did you have a rash?
Why did you go to urgent care?
And then put it in your rash.
Exactly.
There we go.
I was thinking going to Disneyland with our nephew and a cut. No,
I was sick and mad for it. It's so physically. I was I was going to Disneyland on
Monday and Saturday. Disneyland sickness. Saturday. I just felt so sick that I was like I got to get some meds.
And I just can't wander around. You're not so cute. He. He's the cutest. He's the last one posting some videos of him.
He's just, he's a charming little cute guy.
Nine year old, funny dude.
Yeah, he was pinning your shoes like Todd.
He loved about that.
Yes, so he, that was the first stop he made
when he got here into town.
He loves cleaning shoes.
He went to this, he went to this store
where they have this shoe, this professional Jason Mark,
is that what it is, shoe cleaning liquid,
and he bought it,
and then he wanted to set up a business
of cleaning everyone's shoes.
And he kept trying to renegotiate the deal as well,
so he'd go like, he'd say, hey, he come to you and say,
hey, okay, it's $5 to get your shoe cleaned,
but because you're sick, I'll
give it to you for two. I go, okay, well, great. Here you go. Better than LX. And then you'd
go, you'd, you'd, you'd agree to it. And then you'd go, well, actually, though, because
I'm using so much of this stuff, I think it's going to actually be five. And I'm like,
well, I don't want the deal anymore. He's like, no, no, it can be two.
And then you give him the two and he's like,
what about my tips?
So then you make him a tip, right?
So but then he's like, okay, now you can be
in the shoe cleaning club where I clean all of your shoes
for an extra $20.
And I'll do as many shoes as you have for an extra $20.
You know?
Where is he getting this
from?
How was he?
He's nine, but he just wants to clean these shoes.
That's the other part is like, he thinks it's fun.
He thinks it's really fun to do.
And he's like, I'll spend an hour on it and I'll do souls and I'll do the top, you know,
like, it's so cute.
It's your math.
Yes.
He also takes apart the shoes and puts them back together.
Yeah, you want to be part of the Toaster Dismantling Club.
But he loves it. It was so funny.
Yeah, exactly.
And then we went to a shoe store because we hung out all day when cool up and her sister's
and her mom went to like, I guess, Vander pump rules.
Oh, yeah.
Lots of us together.
Yeah, yeah.
Together.
So, so I was tasked with hanging out with Vander.
Duh.
Duh. DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER.
DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. DER. Duh. Puh.
Sir.
Sir is the other place, so that was perfect.
Right, it's perfect.
It's perfect.
And you know what, it's called, sir.
Why?
Do they call it?
Oh, it stands for something.
Sexy urban restaurant.
Oh, yes.
I don't like it.
Cool up, told me that.
It was disgusting to me.
It's so stupid.
Did you know the restaurant jar in West Hollywood?
No.
I love that place.
I like that place.
But it stands for just another restaurant.
Oh, that's so awesome.
Max is microphone away.
He's not going to talk the rest of the show.
And it's almost a seven in the face.
Did I almost say that?
I was going to say.
So we went into, we were hanging out
and we went into a shoe store.
First of all, we were going to Dave David Busters because that's like something you really
wanted to do.
And I was like, okay, let's go down to Hollywood and Highlands.
He would call it David Busters, by the way.
David Busters.
David Busters.
David Busters.
It does make more sense.
Who's this?
I'm David Buster.
Welcome.
So we were, I was like, let's go down to Hollywood and Highland.
And I was like, trying to show him, oh, this is the walk of fame. That's where Jimmy Kimmel and he's just so anxious and
think about all the shoes. No, not the shoes yet. He's like, when do we go to David Buster's?
I'm like, we literally just stepped out of the car. I'm showing you around. He's like,
I go, let's take our time. We got a lot of time to kill. Let's look at, let's look at some stuff.
He's like, okay. And then I point out
literally one other thing. He goes, let's go, let's go to David Buster. Wow. I'm like, okay,
we'll go to do. So I can't believe a nine year old who has so little respect for the golden age of
Hollywood. They don't you think you think you think Kai doesn't want to see all the stars.
Yes, we did really like the handprints. I was like, where's Olivia to have a land?
So we we're going to Dave and Buster's,
but the one thing that deterred him was there was a,
and Adidas or a van store.
Yeah, right?
So he's like, oh, let's go in there first, right?
So what was, what was interesting was I got to see
how the pressure of, of someone trying to sell him
something was working.
Wow.
Because they were like, hey, what size are you, like immediately?
To a king.
Yeah.
Yeah, like that.
And, and.
You look like you have feet.
Yeah.
And so he's, he's like looking at these new shoes
that a basketball star who's nicknamed a spider
or whatever, he made Spider-Man theme shoes.
And they're like, have you seen the movie?
Yeah, I go, no, we're seeing in a couple hours.
Probably John Spider-Sally.
Maybe, yeah, maybe.
Long out of the game.
All right.
John Spider Sally.
Yeah.
It's like, he was just, no, that's not.
He was a guest or a dad.
Oh, okay.
So they're like, I said, we're seeing the movie in a couple hours.
They're like, oh man, he's buying the shoes to see the movie.
You know, they're already putting it is.
And he's going to be wearing those Spider-Man shoes while he's watching Spider-Man. Awesome. Best way to experience the film. That's so manipulative. You know, they're already putting it is and he's gonna be wearing those Spider-Man shoes while he's watching Spider-Man
Awesome.
Best way to experience the film.
That's so manipulative.
You fucked up.
You basically.
Of me?
One or two hit two hit because you have to buy that.
Why did you pay those guys to say that?
So they're like, what's your side?
Let me go get him.
So they go get him and he's like, as they walk away, he goes, I didn't bring my fanning back with me.
And I'm like, it's okay, we don't have to buy anything.
Like they're just trying to sell you the shoes,
but we can get up and walk away
and say we don't have to buy them, it's like, okay.
But then they buy them and he tries them on,
then they don't quite fit.
So they bring them a different size
and he's just feeling like he's putting them out
or whatever.
And I'm like,
I'm like, so much pressure.
Yeah, and they're like, so what do you think?
Should I wrap these up or whatever?
I'm like, well, he doesn't have his fanning pack with us.
So we're gonna come back if he decides he wants to buy.
Yeah, you're playing backfire at assholes.
Yeah, but I don't buy him anything.
He buys everything himself with a shoe cleaning money.
I'm gonna wait for a minute.
I'm gonna run you.
For a minute, I was like, should I be a cool, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait stuff. Yeah, I mean, it was like, yeah. Yeah, plus it was like, he does fine.
He does fine for sure.
Plus, he doesn't worry about him.
He ain't worried about you.
We get to Dave and Buster's and he's,
I'm like, how does this work?
Cause he has his mom getting $20 to spend at Dave and Buster's.
I'm like, so how does this work?
He goes, well, you put in 20 and I have 20.
I'm like, all right.
So I'm already on the hook for $20.
Yeah, yeah, for him.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, yeah.
That's so, I have this money. You match it. Yeah, that, yeah, for him. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, I mean, that's so, I have this money,
you match it.
Yeah, and that's part of the day.
It just felt like a scam, it really did.
Like he had thought it up, like instead of going like,
oh no, I spent $20 and they give us this card,
this day when he's like,
well, you put in your 20,
and you match what I have.
That's good, he's a good business man.
Yeah, that's a good business man.
Look, we need to take a break.
Okay, let's come back.
Bye. Yeah, I like it. I like it. I like it. Look, we need to take a break. Okay.
Let's come back.
Bye.
Welcome back.
It's time for a three-chirp.
Welcome back.
Lauren, you let me welcome them back first and then you can do new business.
I want to welcome everyone back, by the way.
Scott?
Huh?
I would like to, I began the process of welcoming them back.
I would like to finish it.
Did I finish it?
Do you show up?
Welcome back everyone.
It's time for a three term.
It's a three term.
What is a three term?
Let's explain this to new list.
It's a game where we play a different one every time,
except for the times we play when we've already played before.
That's right.
And that's a three term.
That's a three-church.
Send us your three-church to on Twitter.
You can send us your two-church.
Send us your three-church at 3DMUSA.
Oh, right.
Tweet us a game that you want us to play in Tagged.
Hashtagged.
Three-church, THR-E-A-T.
Send us a game you want us to play in.
And send us your three-church at USA.
Why would you talk over valuable information?
Send us a game you want us to play?
Why would you talk over valuable information?
Boom sit down. Let's go down. Look at your snaps go. Look at my snaps go. Look at my
snaps go. Episode title. It's at the left. So he should have gets right on the keyboard.
Look at my snaps go.
This, do we know who sent us this one?
We got to know we got to get.
We never will.
We never will.
We'll find out.
Do has got to smile witness.
This is a feature called inside joke.
Okay.
Inside joke.
How does it work?
Two minutes laid up.
Two hosts are chatting and one says something like,
don't let grandpa near
and then the other two go, then the other remaining host says, what's so funny? Then the first
two hosts have to explain the details, alternate sentences that provide the origin situation
behind the inside joke. Let's think I get it think I get it, but you guys play first and I'll see the fourth time you've heard
the explanation.
Let's see what happens now.
Oh, yes, and that was really the pinnacle of the moment.
Right.
You must have been so embarrassed.
Well, I was truly a pines guy.
Hey, what's so funny, guys?
What did you say?
Oh, pines guy. Pines guy. Yeah. What What did you say? Oh pie in the sky.
Yeah, what do you talk about?
Oh, yeah, I think it all went so dope you wouldn't get it.
Yeah, yeah, between the two of you.
Yeah, well, we were in college together.
Oh, yeah, I was in college with you.
Right, but you weren't there.
Why would you say that?
That one night when you were sick and you missed the big party.
Because I was.
You missed the big party.
Yeah, so you weren't there for the story?
Well, that was the night when Pye and the Sky was formed.
It was the night when everything became
the funniest thing that's ever been because we were at a party.
We were at a party.
Yeah, that's my sentence.
You're at a party.
And we everyone had to bring a dessert.
It was a dessert party.
Yeah, and everyone had matching desserts.
Yes.
Everyone had matching desserts. We were at Yeah, and everyone had matching desserts. Yes. And everyone had matching desserts.
We were at a party.
Everyone had matching desserts.
But they were all pies.
And I brought a pie that looked exactly like everyone else's.
Except it had...
It had a significantly unusual crust on the top.
Oh, okay.
And the whipped topping was so high, some said it touched the sky.
Yeah, because Lauren had stolen some helium from the party store.
You're getting it.
See your laughing.
And injected it into the whipped cream.
So anytime anyone ate it, their voice would get really high
and they would say,
Pine the sky!
And so, but.
So everyone said, Pine the sky.
But it became embarrassing because.
Because people's voices did not change for 48 hours.
So now whenever there's an embarrassing moment,
we say it was a pie in the sky.
Yeah, because we had a funeral the next day.
Yeah.
And we all were making eulogies,
but we had really high voices.
We couldn't get out of it.
Yeah.
Like, what were the eulogies sound like?
That's what you want to know.
You want to relive the time when our professor died
that you didn't even care about.
Your professor died?
You were in his class, too, don't you remember?
I just thought he never came back.
You were very unobservant of that.
I was sick.
Were you sick with Disneyland sickness?
Hahaha.
I mean, I mean on this one.
I share in this one.
You're the butt of it.
You share in this one.
And see.
Now, do you get it?
I get it now.
Okay, I understand.
So how'd your date go?
It was, it was fine.
I'm going to ignore that.
I'm just staring at my throat.
Okay.
It's good that you ignored it.
Who are you?
Me?
Yeah, where'd you come from?
I'm just hanging.
We're part of the conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're ready for a real friend to come along. I'm so sorry. I was just, uh. We're having a conversation. We're having a conversation. We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation.
We're having a conversation. We're having a conversation. We're having a conversation. We're having a conversation. We. Yeah, we're friends and we're friends. He's telling a story. Okay, then get out of here.
Yeah, I'm just gonna turn this way at this counter and just stand here. There's no other seats
and you just took away my seats. So I'm just gonna stand here. It was never your seat because
it could have been until your friend arrives because I could actually be done eating whether you're
not our friend. I know. I just mean I could sit here until your friend arrived.
And you would get up.
You'd be physically able to, but you're not allowed.
I'm gonna stand at this counter and not listen to you.
Great, we're gonna stand at this counter
pretend you never exist it.
I'm so sorry about that.
So you've finished your story and how was your day?
My day was fine.
You know, we went to the movies,
but I'll tell you one thing we didn't do. We did not take a helicopter trip into the volcano.
Oh, you know what I mean.
I think I do grow up top.
What does that mean?
Oh, hey.
Lauren.
What does that mean?
You're here.
You don't know.
You've heard us say that before.
This is our friend Lauren.
You cannot sit here.
I want to sit here until your friend over.
She's here, Lauren, sorry.
I've been just sitting here.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Lauren, I'm sorry, this is,
I don't know if this lady is.
This is my most so much like me.
She has, does she?
Kind of dirty blonde hair.
I feel like I have friend,
you have wonderful red hair to match your personality.
I can't tell my friends look like other people.
I feel that we look like, yeah,
I think we actually sound identical.
So, like barely just an imperceptible difference.
I honestly can't tell the difference.
Yeah, in any case,
Squam, get lost.
Okay, I'm leaving now and I guess I'm the bitchy doppelganger or something.
Yeah, exactly what you are.
But you guys look exactly like too, which is so strange.
Because of the no matter, that's what we already covered, Scott.
Is this some sort of parent trap situation?
I guess we'll figure it out later.
I want to know what you're talking about.
You're more interested in this.
Well, I just didn't understand what you meant that you're dating
and with the telecoms.
I'm not talking about that.
It's an insight joke.
Well, what did that possibly mean?
Well, Scott, I used to be roommates.
Yeah, this is like 10 years ago. This is 10 years ago. I was there. I was your roommate too.
Yeah, but you were sick one night. Remember? You were sick one night, never came out of your room.
Right. It happened on that very night. Oh my God. That night you guys had an inside joke.
We're remember the next morning we said we had a great inside. We were trying to have one. It
just happened. But so now you're ready to tell me what it means.
Yes.
Sure.
We'll tell you what it means.
So this is 10 years ago we were roommates and we won a free helicopter trip.
That's right.
We stayed up all night to win this contest.
It was a radio call and show.
Yeah.
And I called in with the right answer, which was what radio station are you listening to?
Yeah.
Wow. I can't believe so many people didn't get it.
They didn't understand what they didn't look at their radios.
Also, a lot of the calls were wrong numbers.
Right.
That had no idea the contest was going on.
People calling for pizza, people calling for their grandma.
They said, well, what happened?
Well, they say congratulations.
You've won a helicopter ride.
And what we didn't realize was it was a Twilight Zone themed contest.
Yeah, so was it Twilight Zone themed contest
where they were determining who sounded the most like Rod
Sirling and we didn't know that.
I mean, that's, I guess the right answer didn't really matter.
It was just I sounded the most like Rod Sirling.
He wasn't even trying to do that.
No, but continuing with the theme, the helicopter ride,
we thought it was just a fun helicopter ride.
Yeah.
We like see the city, you know?
Of course, you know, it was taking a trip
through the Bermuda Triangle,
but we didn't think much of that.
But you thought you were just gonna see like,
Boise.
Yeah.
From above.
We thought we were gonna finally see Boise from above.
And instead they blew us by helicopter to the bermuda trying.
Where was I?
You were sick.
You were sick.
You were sick.
We had to make multiple stops to refuel.
And then they lowered us into a helicopter.
And we were in the air.
Yeah, which was so crazy.
They had another helicopter fly up.
What did that thing?
You guys, and what does that do with the story
you told about the date?
Well, because we did not go,
we ended up bailing out of the helicopter
before it got to the volcano.
You dumped out?
Well, parachutes.
We saw parachutes,
but the pilot who was this beautiful woman
jumped out with us.
Beautiful.
Mm.
I mean, gorgeous.
I mean, gorgeous. Hmm. I mean gorgeous.
I mean gorgeous.
Head, I mean toes was slamming.
Fingers.
Oh wow.
So no more so.
Hair in all the right places.
Did you have a torso?
I don't remember.
I think she has her toes.
Did you have legs or feet or just head toes?
Probably.
I don't remember.
I just saw her as toes.
Her head, toes, fingers, hair. Did you have an open toe? She was while she was flying the helicopter. Don't remember. I just saw her as head, toes, fingers, hair.
Did she have an open-toed shoes while she was flying the helicopter?
Don't remember shoes.
No, she had open-backed shoes.
Gross.
But she put some on backwards.
So we didn't, we never made it to the volcano.
We never made it to the volcano, but we ended up all doing a triple kiss in mid-air.
Yeah. Wow. Which turned out to be good luck. doing a triple kiss in mid air. Yeah. Which turned
out to be good luck. And we fixed the remuter triangle. Yeah. We kiss a joke. People can
just wait. So at the end of your day, you didn't, you didn't fly a helicopter into a volcano.
What does that mean? You didn't triple kiss with the person we went on the date with. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You both went on the date. No, we didn't go on the date together, but
I went on a date with a couple. Yes. I'm going to go separate couple.
I have to go see if that's the last thing.
Come on.
Parents is me.
I think you are so similar.
I'm surprised you didn't do that right away.
I know.
She's driving down the street in a little evil looking car.
I know.
You're painted the inverse of the color of your car.
That's true.
You are so similar.
Head, toes, hair, and all the right places.
God, you really didn't pay better attention to people.
And see.
Okay, great.
Great.
Okay, one more.
All right, one more.
And then we'll find out who won.
Yeah, and shove in the judge.
Oh my God.
What?
Oh my God.
I'm so embarrassed.
That's my boss and I'm so embarrassed.
That's my boss and I didn't recognize him. Well, he just waved at you for like a minute.
He waved for, and I flipped him off.
I was like, hey.
Why didn't you just say hi to him?
You were saying hi to him.
I was like, hey, stop waving at me.
You fucking weirdo.
Oh my god.
This is the most embarrassing thing
that's ever happened to me.
Well, we start paying penguin in the sandstorm.
Yeah, yes, so we wrote about that.
What's up?
What are you guys laughing at?
Yeah, it's me, Richie.
Hey, Richie.
Yeah, what's up, guys?
Hey, stop flashing your money at us.
You will, here's $20.
Here's $20.
Take it, but it's costentations.
I can use this to get my shoes on. Oh, behave. I'm gonna do it in. Take it, but I mean, it's your own. It's your own.
I can use this to get my shoes.
Oh, behave.
I'm going to do it in the shoe club.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I think that's a wise investment.
I'm not only a member for, for, for an extra $20, you get all your shoes clean.
I know.
I know.
Here's $20.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, Richard.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, Richard.
Hey, what the, what do you laugh at it?
We're laughing at inside two.
We're laughing at you. It was just, I like jokes.. How you won't get it? Penguin wearing a sandstorm?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was Penguin on a sandstorm, like mirror in the bathroom?
No.
I mean, a lot like it.
Wait, you know this joke?
No, I don't know the joke.
It's inside, but I'm outside.
You're a fan of the English beat, and you know this joke.
I love the English beat.
I don't know the joke.
Wait, you're a fan of our inside joke book that we wrote.
And you want to come tell us about it.
I'm a fan of you guys are just to get devours.
I don't know this joke.
You're paying us $20 a piece.
Here's for the copies.
Here's for her.
Joke book.
It's for whatever you decide it is.
If you give me the joke book, great.
If not, I don't care.
Here's our inside joke book.
You read it.
I'm not going to read it.
It's page 96.
I can't read.
Oh, no. No, you are the penguin in a single. For that not gonna read it. It's page 96. I can't read. Oh
The penguin in his
That's what the joke is about it. Okay, so actually it was like when I was little I
Took a long time learning how to read yeah, and I was little with you We were sick. We were sick. We were sick. We were sick. We were all brothers.
We were all little.
We were all little.
Yeah.
When we were little, you were sick one day and we had this whole thing.
Which day was that?
Oh, Thursday.
Oh, it was Thursday.
I was one time.
I had a rheumatic fever.
Yeah, yeah.
I had to burn my stuffed animals.
Exactly.
So yeah, they had to burn.
Exactly.
And they had to burn. Zouplie. And they had to did burn exactly and they had to burn
Zouplie and they had to go burn all righty one
Anyways, I couldn't learn how to read really easy. Yeah, but I decided it was my responsibility to
To teach her how to read and he tried
But you know, I ended up having to go to school where all the other kids were racing ahead of me and I felt like
A penguin in a sandstone. Just out of my element.
And I don't understand that.
I mean, she came home and she told me that.
And that's what I said.
I don't understand that.
And she said, let me explain it to you.
And so then she continued, this can't be the origin.
No, it's not.
So she continued and said what she actually meant by it.
But it's still never made sense. And so for years and years and years we'd quote penguin
in the stans from because it was that time when I seemed to have lost my mind and was talking random.
So I committed her to a mental health facility. And now anytime somebody seems to not know what's
going on or they're confused, we say it's like a penguin in a stantrum. And then that's a
clue for me that she is off her meds
and I need to maybe call up her doctor.
It is my safe word and I need help.
Yeah, so it's a signal.
It's a signal that she's going a little kooky
and she doesn't feel safe.
So it's not really a private joke at all.
Oh, she thinks it's a joke.
We laugh and laugh.
You laugh at it even though it's a signal
that you're in mental distress.
Yes, apparently.
I've already called her doctor who's on the way.
And here he is.
Dr. Zorders.
Hello, doctor.
Dr. Zorders, how are you?
Hello, Dr. Zorders.
My doctor's orders.
Dr. Zorders.
Say the Bernzorders.
Exactly.
Hello, Dr. Zorders.
Good morning, everyone.
Dr. Zorders.
He's awake.
Who won the contest?
Who won the inside joke book contest?
Penguin in a sandstorm.
What? Yeah. That's our word. That's our word. But you have to straight jack it. Contest one the inside joke book contest penguin in a sandstorm what yeah
That's our word that's our word. You have a straight jacket. There you go. You're
You're
I don't want to put it on are you put on your your doctor's or you put it on your the one
What yeah, you're insane
I don't know what penguin in a sandstorm. You idiot. This is a way made it up. This is like something out of the twilight zone
helicopter ride in a sandstorm east you idiot. This is something we made it up. This is like something out of the twilight zone. Hellicop to ride.
Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
Consider a man.
I told you I had a good impression of him.
Man seen.
And seen.
Oh, that was great.
That was fun.
That was great.
That was fun.
That was on a hamburger bun.
I loved it.
I loved it on my bun.
Guys, we're out of time.
We gotta go.
We gotta go.
We gotta go and we're sad about it.
We gotta go.
But we love you guys a lot and we thank you so much.
So, well, you know what?
We're all you've done for us.
For real, thank you for listening to the show.
And it's all, it really, it tickles us and it touches us
when people are sending in, you know, remixes of songs
or artwork or whatever.
It's always appreciated.
You guys are the best.
And thank you so much.
And it's nice.
I did some live shows this weekend
and met so many three-room fans
and people told me that it means a lot to them.
And that's greatly appreciated.
That's so nice.
Yeah, so thanks for listening, guys.
And come out and see us if you want to
on the comedy-bending tour.
Oh, that's what you came up with.
Hey, and thank you to Ted Dodgers.
Ted Dodgers. A minute of that threacher. Hey, and thank you to Ted Daughters. Ted Daughters.
Ted Daughters.
That's that feature.
Thank you.
Thank you to Daughters.
I made funny your name before.
You got a little bit of a baby about it.
But now you're back and everyone's good.
You get the glory, baby.
Bye.
Bye.
Great dismount. You