Threedom - Threevisiting: Nobody Puts Incel in the Friend Zone

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: The Pretzel Gang discusses impressions, time management and play Disney Court. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3-0! Sponsored by Carl Jr. 3-0! Play me out with a goddamn death dedication! 3-0! Bye everyone, welcome to 3-0. We're that. We're that.

We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the 3-0 boys. We are the three to boys. We are the pretzel gang. It us it us the pretzel gang. The where are we the pretzel gang? I don't remember but we are we did say we were. That's just like Germany. We are the pretzel gang and we're like America except more pretzel. Watch us kick our legs. We are the pretzel gang. Watch us kick our legs. We twist on twist on twist on twist on twist on legs We are the pretzel game

We are the pretzel game We are the pretzel game We are the pretzel game We are the pretzel game We don't love the people We do We do We do people Hi everyone, I am Lauren If we do, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then they think Lauren has all the horrible opinions and stories that you have. Exactly. And they have suddenly Scott with the higher feminine voice, all the

credit for all of the good stories. Yeah. And then when people are saying who's the third one, they are so confused about who's Lauren is. They just get about me. And they just turn it off. Yeah, I'm too confused. They turn it off before I get to my great stuff. All right, I'm sorry, I'm Paul. Just Scott. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Here's the thing. It takes me a good 30 to 45 minutes to really get going on these episodes. Right. And I feel like people, you're going to make people turn off before I come into my own. Right. Yeah, maybe they should just skip to 45 minutes for now. Do it.

All right, let's do it. Why don't we just cut out everything? Time for a preacher. Yeah, let. Right. Yeah. Maybe they should just skip to 45 minutes from now. Do it. All right. Let's do it. Why don't we just cut out everything? Time for a preacher. Yeah. Let's cut. Yeah.

Hi everyone. Hi everyone. Welcome back to the show. What's going on with you guys? Like, what is a story of something that happened? Well, I have some great news. I signed up for a brushy Wednesday and kickstarter. When?

I've been looking at you. Come on Wednesdays Kickstarter. When? Why? I've been looking at you. Come on. Why are you lying? Why are you lying? Why are you lying? Why do you lie? Why do you lie?

Tinoffato, you're the shuttons. Tinoffato, you shuttons. Tinoffato, you shuttons. And Paul. Yeah, hi. It's going out with you. Well, in reality, on Earth,, on earth where real things happen. Within reality, I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what today started, and I, you got that right. I was just like, at home, doing stuff around the house, have a big audition tomorrow. Really? It was gonna prepare for.

Do you wanna do any of it right now? I sure don't. I wanna hear about that. But I haven't had an audition just good in a while. Uh-huh. And we had, Lauren, I had a conversation recently about auditioning. Auditioning is a weird thing.

Yeah. And it's, you know, one of the most important things about auditioning is you have to feel confident going in. And if the character feels confident. Boom. Oh, Scott. True, if the character's insecure, you should go in feeling like you have no chance.

About yourself. Yeah, you should go. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And so I was like, great, I am going to study this. It requires an accent. And I was like, great, I never get to do stuff like this. Oh, cool. I just want to have a good audition.

What kind of accent? Chinese? Yep. Yeah, it's called racist garbage. Yeah, it's called racist garbage, racist garbage. And I'm getting someone to put my eyes back. Oh my god. To make it more racist.

You could just wear eyeliner like Zach Rrafton in Garden State. Oh, right. Wait, when make it more. You could just wear eyeliner like Zach Braftin and Barton's day. Oh, right. Wait, when he was in the Chinese, right, he was a waiter in a Chinese restaurant and they all had to wear. It was weird. I thought I watched that movie, but maybe I didn't. Uh, I feel like I, let me put these headphones on you and we'll see. I remember that.

I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that one scene that made me so I was very cringy about it. Natalie Portman doing like some weird body jiggle and saying every once in a

while I like to do something and it's never been done before. Okay, like, people out. Oh, that's like, okay, you're quirky. I don't want to keep talking about you. I felt bad for it. I felt bad for it. Well, so she had to do it. She thought, okay, I can do some things around the house. I have a lot of my plate right now and I'm doing very badly at managing all of it. There we go.

That's how you feel. That's how you feel. That is how I feel. And also, that is what I know for a fact. Yeah. Okay. So, does this happen to you often? Yeah, it hasn't been this bad in a while.

Right. Where I, yeah, what do you think is causing it? Is it time management or is it just you have too much going on? I think it's too many things going on at the same time. Yeah. And there are certain things that should take precedence that I am pushing back for. And I'm leaving other people hanging as a result of it and it's bad. Okay.

There are certain things that should take precedence that I am pushing back for. And I'm leaving other people hanging as a result of it and it's bad. Okay. Anyway. You know, I feel like when I'm traveling, oh wait, you gotta talk about this. Someone made this clip for us.

Let's hear it. Yes, I saw that. This was the, Someone made this clip for us. They took this, this song will change your life moment. No change, really. And she put, yeah, she puts headphones on I'm just good, I like it. You gotta watch it because they're both just smiling back and forth with that tongue

that's really sweetly moving. And it's changing his life. And the movie was a shinsong, right? Yeah, me slaying. But when, so wait, wait, wait, wait, so let me just finish. Yeah. So I'm taking around at home doing various things around the house that also need to be done.

Yeah. And feeling in general just kind of overwhelmed. But I'm saying I can do this up to a point, and then I'm gonna work on, I have nothing else to do for the rest of the day, but to work on this audition, which is at noon tomorrow. Oh no, and then suddenly you got text from us. I honest to God was like settling in like,

all right, here we go. And then I get text from Lauren saying, hey, you're supposed to be here. We're supposed to be here. Oh, I got to do two episodes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so terrible. We can work on it now.

Let's just do it. Let's workshop it now. I have to work on audition science, too, and it starts to stress me out when you know it's, because it's like the whole thing is that you have to feel like you know it before you go in there. Exactly, yeah. And a lot of times I know it as I'm sitting

and I give myself like 30 minutes in the car when I arrive at the place and I will just read it a million times so I feel like I really know what it is. But it's much better if I'm able to get up and do it at home. My feeling is that I want to be, if I'm completely off book, then I can take whatever note is given to me.

Yeah, note without, because I don't have to throw you off. So like if they make, if they make me do a tiny adjustment or something, then it's like, or even if it's like, you know, sometimes there's major. There's a, there's a made up word or name in the script where it's like, I don't know how to pronounce this. I'm gonna ask beforehand, but in the meantime,

I have to memorize this. Right. You know, and so I might be memorizing this word wrong. Yeah. And so I want to be able to, if they tell me like, oh, actually it's pronounced this way, that that's not going to fucking completely throw me off. Yeah.

So, and then I have a show tonight, of course. Oh. What show? Work to Simprov. Oh, god. Well, I was going to say like, when we go on tour, or any time I'm like, anytime I'm traveling or out of town for work, I was gonna say like when we go on tour or anytime I'm like anytime I'm traveling or out of town for work

I immediately become horrible at emailing and handling I just like yeah, I just I'm used to doing this on my computer hard on my phone I get much more done the computer, but I also just feel like I know I can reply on my phone I could sit here and just look at this. I'm on my phone all day, but you're on it. It's like you're traveling Yeah, but that's the rules don't apply you are in so many cases you are trapped in a place for a certain number of hours I could sit here and just look at this. I'm on my phone all day. But you're on, it's like you're traveling. Yeah. But the rules don't apply. You are in so many cases, you are trapped in a place for a certain number of hours where it's like,

I could rip through all these emails and get it done. But you also feel like you're in a weird stasis. Well, the stress I'm having now is just to travel. Yeah. And it's just to do the show and not get stressed out before the show. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it gets stressed out during the show.

What time is your audition? The 12 noon. I think you'll be great. I think I'm going to be great. You're going to be great. How many pages is it? It's, um, it's not that many pages, but it is most informational. The dialogue is mostly me.

Yeah. And there's a, there's some weird action in it as well. It's like one of those things where it's like meaningful glances and you know you're gonna be looking at a chair. Yeah. Yeah, I have to do that. Do you talk to the person who's reading with you or do you? I talk right to the person who's reading to me

and if I have to make up another person and see and I'm talking to multiple people. It's always weird, okay. So when you're talking to multiple people, this is what happens. Usually there's one person, most often a board disinterested person who reads the things very flatly. But so you're trying to act to the one person

where the person actually is, but then if you have to talk to another person, you change your eye line because they're filming you. But then that person's still talking. Yes. And they're sort of like, you know, looking at, like, why don't you look at me? No, they're not.

It's their first day. Scott, listen, you know, I don't like to divulge Hollywood secrets on here in the first place. Right. Because I don't think that's, that's, it hurts us. But also, I hate even more spreading Hollywood lies. And that's a Hollywood lie. I mean, say Hollywood lie that is going to bring down

the system and it's going to tragically ruin everything that is also the original. Yeah, they're already trying to take our violent movies away from us. They are. They are. They are. No, we'll always have the guns. Oh, good.

Two A. But they can't take our violent movies away. No. No, not our video games either. I'm just saying that instead of Netflix screaming. Don't take our violent movies. They're like, what? What if we went out and protested Netflix and we had science that give us a show?

Yeah. We're an anchor strike. We're funny. Please release my movie. We're funny. Our movie, by the way, comes out in a week. Yeah, you're Sorry hour you're in it Paul did you want that?

Yeah, news broken on this show Wait, what news that you're in it on this very show And they're always fighting physically, fist fighting. We fist fight a lot. It's true that we fist fight a lot, but it's not always about between two firsts. No, but it does come up often. Sometimes it's about this really skinny woman that we're both in love with.

Me? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think you're gonna do that. That is fan art waiting to happen. Us fist fighting. Over this really skinny woman that you're holding on. All of us has Popeye. There's Popeye characters. I am definitely. I would like to, if you were...

He's obviously Popeye. I gotta be the... I'm obviously Popeye. He's vocally Popeye. He's vocally, you're vocally pop up happens got the build That's a very sweet piece oh damn it's a pop by roast Spinach I I need spinach. Agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah, agah.

I always thought it was so silly how Joey on Full House would always do impressions of Popeye. Like he only, he was a comedian and he did like Popeye and like, but that was his actual act. Yes it was. Wait, Dave Cooley-A's part. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Bayon Curplated.

Google.com. What? Google.com. Google.com. What? Google.com. The Google.com. You're telling us to Google or yourself to Google? She says it to the ether, but we know it's about Shevendor. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, they incorporated like his regular standup

act into the show so that he could be comfortable. Oh, there he is on just for last. Ba da ba ba ba. Oh, wait, don't play that. That's too bad. It's too recent. What's this 2012 on there? You don't think he you still doing fucking pop up

Kodak Kodak Hoda Hoda Hoda Hoda Hoda go to Koda middle video Hoda Hoda Hoda Grammarly Grammarly does more than catch errors. I'm grammarly. You can find really good. Everyone needs that Joey Gladstone voices comic is my non-paying job to cheer people up I miss you. It's me Kermit the frog All right, you don't want to cry. Do you? Would you pause it for one second? He does not sound like Kermit the frog in the least the worst Kermit the frog impression

I've ever heard and if you did that on stage, would anyone care? It was that one wasn't like, I would be like, I, this was the 80s. But would they be like, it still is this way for a lot of people. Really, like where they'd be like, pop by, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, the comedy club, especially back in the 80s, is like someone's being, you know, energetic, you know, someone's being extroverted. Yeah, we're dumb. Play the clip. Also not good. Yeah, who's that lady? Oh my god, it's so many dudes did this shit. Yeah. Oh yeah. Who's that lady?

The sprinkler. Oh my god, it's so many dudes did this shit. Yeah. That was... very common to see. But he got on TV to do it. Oh he got it. Shit, I got that.

Alright, thank you. Wait, wait, I want to see what's going on. I want to go. I want to talk a little bit more Cosby almost cut that off this was from last year Ew No, can you, that's not really him. Kimmy's dumb. Wow. Or incredibly sarcastic. I'm a show.

Wow, wow, wow, wow. I didn't know that Cosby did that. Juicy Jello. Also, he's a Jello pudding. Juicy bowl of jello pudding. I'm using more of a Jello pudding. Oh, right. I'll cause me to look. Bill Cosby, I'm not a fan, but let me just set the record straight. He did commercials for pudding, not for Jello.A.I.L

Hi there, I'm Kermit the frog. Hello Kermit the frog. I'm also Peewee Herman. Oh my gosh, do you do? Wait, you do Peter O'Toole. We talked about that recently. We talked very recently. Very, so recently. But do you do any other impressions? Why, you used to do a lot of impressions. I thought I had so many Bingbong, Bingbong. Come on, Bingbong, the Bingbong. I know those, but I mean, I mean,

like you know, the secret ones? Yeah, secret ones. Or did you do any on stage? Uh, did I do any on stage? No, I didn't really. Yeah, it doesn't really make sense. That was like, that was, yeah, I didn't really. I didn't really make sense. That was like, yeah, you would do that if that was your thing.

Yeah. But it was not uncommon for you. You didn't want to be put in the ghetto of impression comic. No, they put themselves there. But it was that if you did a lot of voices, you were a voice, you were definitely a guy who did voices or a girl.

But there was not a girl. But I, but there was not a comment for a comedian, it's like a, just like regular old stand with comedian to do one impression. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and say, this is my impression of this person. Yes. And they would just say that doing that thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is my impression of this person of this person doing a weird thing. That was a very common like, this is my impression of this major celebrity and then doing a weird thing. Like, cutting himself on an envelope

and tripping down the stairs. Yeah, these are all, like, tropes like these are still around. Like, people are still doing this. People still do it. Yeah. What about you, Lauren? What impressions do you do?

Let's hear them right now. Yeah, I think we're going to do any impressions. I don't know, really. When you were little, did you do impressions? Oh, yes, but I think I've talked about my share impression and, Oh, her own. Which is probably funny for me out of a kid.

Was it to go, well, hello? Not, oh, I'm sure. I love sure. I love sure. I'm doing my tongue thing. I'm trying to say, I don't know. Oh, for a midnight. I like to imitate people,

but I wouldn't say I do impressions of people. That was more out of cruelty. Well, like, yeah, I like to mimic and mock people. But I don't take to impressions. Like if I'm watching TV, like I like to try to voicemail. Yes. Okay, let me pretend I'm on TV and see. Let me pretend I'm on TV.

Let me see what happened. The news today was interrupted by other news when the space shuttle was interrupted by an asteroid. Hey, Scott, we're gonna stop the news really quick. What's up? You're doing really bad. At what?

The news. At the news? Yeah. Excuse me, excuse me. We're doing the news next door. Were you interrupting us? Of course I was. With other news. What? We're gonna the news next door. Were you interrupting us? Of course I was with other news What we're gonna do news. You know I tried to tell him I tried to tell him well, I try harder

What I should be mad at you. I'm sorry. Are you guys going out? Is there something going on between you? What why would you hurt not going out? We just have sex. Oh a modern woman woman, a, we're sex buddies. Not as ex, as ECKS. Yes, we silent eruption. Okay, eruption, and... And... Kermits. Did you say CK? Louis CK?

We were having such a good time. When we started doing the green, the CK impression of Louis C. Kay and his alleged sexual override is that he confessed to that he wrote about it in the New York Times. Yes. Oh my gosh.

What about you, Scott? Pop, I have course. We know. Well, there's of course what does a yellow line? Was that Larry David? Ah boy. Marty, that was a big...

You got it back to the future on the 80s. Larry David. The 80s comedy scene, that was a huge impression that you've got to curb your enthusiasm, Larry. Pretty, pretty, pretty good. Here's my Larry David impression. Pretty pretty pretty good Here's my Larry David impression. Let's hear it. I'm making the solo on the spot I'm the fruit the frog my name is pop-up Lauren were you always extroverted though mr. Papa. I gave you you all the clues. We're always like a big showboat. Funny in class.

Yeah, but I also was kind of sure. But like quips or like funny dances or what? Funny dances. Quips, I think. Actually, there is a video. Were you a peasant child in the 15th century friends? I know, I did quips like the toothbrush. It's very current.

Wait, there's a video of my impressions that were on Vine. If you Google Lauren Lapkiss Vine Impressions, I think. You can see my really good impressions. When you were a foreigner, recent? This was something I was into doing a few years ago. Someone uploaded them all together in 2015. Hey, can you guys smell what the rock is cooking? I'm the mask.

Somebody step. Were I'm the mask. Somebody's stuck. Were you watching the mask on the plane? Yes. Hey, I'm just in the plane. Did I catch you watching the mask on the plane? I like a lift over. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What? I looked over on the plane to wherever we went. I can't. Oh, what? Right? Well, I really didn't see it in my long time. I looked at my left and what should my wondering eye see? But Richard Jenny, the platypus man himself. Oh, RIP.

Yeah. And I was like, what fucking movie is this? And it looked really bad. I haven't seen the mask since. I haven't seen it since it came out. Same. Yeah, why would you? And I always quote it. But then I thought, well, what even is the story there?

And so then I put it on because it was on the airplane. And I was, but you had to look for it. You had to like, well, I like to look through the classics. Okay, classics. Yeah. Oh, classics. It was really enjoyable. I didn't finish it, but didn't finish.

Didn't finish it. It didn't finish. Couldn't finish. But it, uh, it's very Warner't finish. Didn't finish, couldn't finish. But it's very Warner Brothers have, like it's like all care, looney tunes and stuff. I didn't really remember that because I was a kid when I came out, so I probably just was like, that's what movies are.

Yeah. But Oh, this is what movies are. To carry someone always. Oh, crushes. He is hilarious in the mask. He is very funny. Did anyone stop him?

No, they tried. So he just continued the past. Well, I stopped watching for you. Oh, you were the somebody. He said somebody stopped me. You said, I am that somebody. Cameron Diaz, amazing. It's all pretty fun.

And he is disturbing looking. I mean, it's really silly, but he's great, he's so fucking funny. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He's hilarious, what are you gonna say? Hey, you're not on trial, you're like,

I mean, you're like the Jim Carrey of the modern day though. That's all I want in my life. Is this somebody set me? A set me the pee, somebody please, that me. Uh, can someone stop me? Hi, bye bye. Somebody please, that me. Wait, let's hear more impressions.

Okay. Down to wrapping, Bill. That was Justin Timberlake. In sync is a boy band. Hi, my name is Mora Keri. I have two twin boys, one's a girl, and I have a husband named Nick. Hello, my name is Shrek. I'm an alien from another planet. I have a donkey! Hi, my name is Monica Lewinsky. I like the president. I have a crush on them.

Hi, I'm Sarah Jessica Parker. I love my shoes. I have a bunch in very expensive colors. Hi, I'm Dantarolta. And here is the Wicked Leaf. I'm Adele Dazim. I'm a good singer, but I'm a better dater. Hi boys. Hey, hey, what is going on here? Get back to class, Zack, Slider, Lisa, Turtle. Hey, what is that? They're building. Did you have to ask? No, a place to go. So, my name's Bud Simpson. I just like done much.

How long is this video? Okay, turn it on, turn it on. Oh my God, there's so much left. Yeah. Oh. But that was my fun thing that I was doing on Vine. That's fun. All right, fine.

Yeah. I like that someone compiled them so I can always have them. Yeah. I like that. Who did it? I don't know. Some weirdo. I didn't see who said it.

That's so nice though. Joe Blake and Chip. Oh, see, Joe Blake and Chip's face. Oh, see, Joe Blake and Chip's face. Joe Blake and Chip's face. Joe Blake and Chip's face. And then some people in the comments think they're real and then I suck and other people get it. You don't say, you know. Man, there's a lot of dumb people out there.

Yeah, it's really, really annoying to engage with them. When people who are like, whether like, willfully try to not know, yeah. Willfully obtuse. Well, if you had, if you, and you, who knows, if you ever tried out for SNL, I don't know. Yes. Okay.

So what, what, did you have to do in impression? I did do a few impressions, but I honestly can't remember. You cannot remember. Mr. Belding. I did Maggie Smith. Let's hear Maggie. No, no, I'm not, I truly don't need, like I, I created them. Oh, dear. I created them for the edition because I they

Flick out I don't know if you know this they take for the flight. They they flew me out twice I failed okay No, it's fine. I'm sorry to bring it up. No, it's fine. It was cool to get to go do it. Are you? You I truly did not you think that you would try to have for us. Oh, you love putting you on the spot watching them. Was my dream my whole life. And so it was really cool to get to go. And I tried out on the stage for my second ride on the side. Did you say, I did it. Go. The first one I flew out for was at the pit theater and they had a bunch. Lauren was in the audience.

I could see him through a little peephole behind the stage. Did you say, are you kind of hire someone with my own name? Yeah. Get back here with my name. He's never seen his name written down, so he doesn't know. He doesn't know what it is. And then I came out again for the test and then Keaton. And Keaton got it that year.

Oh, well, yeah, she was great. You know, no, you couldn't both be on the show. We're the same. They knew they were gonna be ordering four more white guys. I tried out for, I auditioned, tried out for, I auditioned for Mad TV. Oh, when it was brand new.

I think I passed on it. But I did not do characters. And so I had to make up some characters. I tried out for the day in a carfischot and did the same thing. I tried out like, it's really hard to make that shit up in the last picture. No, that's why you got to have years of that

under your belt before you're ever ready to do it. Like, that's why nowadays I'm just like, oh no, I don't do that. It was like a pre-read. It was just me and the casting director. And I sat in her office across from her. Ooh. She's not by her desk and I sat across from her.

I would ask her to hide. Did these guys make up the night before? That's so uncomfortable. It was horrible. Can you feel like you were funny at all, or like the pizza did not allow? It was bad from the moment I started. Yeah. From the moment I started. Yeah.

From the moment I started. And I kept doing it, I should have just said, like, you know what, this is not the thing. I don't really do this. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I have. Do you have room on your show for somebody who doesn't really do this?

Yeah, I think I've gotten better at not trying to do things that I can. So you're not good at it. I don't want to put myself in this situation. Yeah. I have a friend where I'm gonna leave really vague because whatever, it's just not my story, but it's not that big of a deal,

but he recently was offered a part on a show. I'm crueeeeease. And it required him to do a sporty activity that he's never done. Oh yeah. And, Can you tell this story in a podcast? I know I told you in the car.

That's like the podcast of life. I can't tell the difference anymore. My voice is the same in the car in here. Oh, that's, yeah, that's it. Please start doing the car voice. I've just told you that. Do it before. Save room room for every sentence.

Because he had to do this thing and he is, now he never did it before. And then he said that he couldn't do it. And he said he could do it because he was like, oh, yeah. And then we were kind of teaching him. And then he. What is this thing he can do that you he was like, oh, yeah. And then we were kind of teaching him and then he, What is this thing he can do that you could teach him?

Skating. Oh, okay. And then he did. Roller or ice. Roller, rollerblading. And then he did manage to figure it out and do it. But like he did confess to the people on the day because he shot multiple days where he didn't have to do it.

And they liked it. And well, and he already knew him and he didn't have to do it and they liked him and well he and he already knew him and he wanted to be part of a bunch of some of them. Yeah, yeah, but he knew that the other part was coming later and so we had a couple weeks like try and he they they he told them and they helped him get lessons they talked about. Okay, really mad though. I don't think so I don't know I think it was more like a let's just try to fix this. Yeah. But I think as actors, it's so easy to like want to just say, yep, I can do whatever I want. Yeah, but every week, yeah, yeah.

Sure, I'll do it. Yeah, I can do it in lessons. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, I'll be the star of Matt TV. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I'll do every, yeah, everybody. I remember seeing that ad in the paper,

wanted star of TV show. And I said, we're gonna sound like, Quincy Jones requires a star. A Quincy show. Oh my gosh. All right, let's take a break. Drop the mic. Drop the mic. Hey, welcome back.

Drop the mic. Everything on the... And the ship is always free. Wait there! Drop the mic. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Free shipping. Ship is not waste fucking free.

Oh, Shevin reminded us of the Wayfar theme. Thank you to the person who sent that to us. Apparently Shevin met him the other night and who knows who was more impressed. The first one, Medford. Medford, man. Medford boy, who was the wayfer person impressed that he met Shevin or was Shevin impressed, he met the wayfer person. We don't know. We will never know. Welcome back to freedom though. Welcome back to freedom though.

I'm Paul F. Tomkin still. I don't know where we're going. Still Lauren. No, it's not. No, you're not. What? Hello. Good luck with my name. I'm not doing okay. What are you doing?

Okay, so we're talking on this episode about you not having my management. What are you doing to fix this? I don't like this tone. No, I mean, I get into situations, I think we all do. I would like to know what your tactics are for like turning it around.

Honestly, I try to, the hardest part and the biggest hurdle is to understand that this will affect you later. The things you agree to now that this will affect you later. The things you agree to now are going to affect you later, and that stacking up so many things is going to be, can be detrimental. But the problem is, it's like, it's hard to know when to say when,

when there's things like we're going on tour, and I'm writing the script and an audition comes up, whatever, then there's all these other things that Flora, like I was supposed to do the, the Bajillionaire's improv show, we do it every month and I didn't do it because we were flying the next day and I was like, my tank was empty. I was just like, I gotta go a bit early. Yeah, you have to be able to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And honestly, I'm now thinking about calling and sticking to the show tonight. Yeah.

Because most, it's, most everybody will be there. And your priority needs to be for. It needs to be. Yeah. Your future. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard because I feel like I often want to say yes

to everything. The dress. The dress. But, but, and then I feel like I've gotten a little better in the last couple of years at saying no just to random. Even things like I think sound fun like a podcast someone's been beyond or something. But then I'm like, you know what? I think it'd probably be better if I just had that day to even do nothing. Like if there was a chance that I could and I probably won't end up being what happens. Absolutely.

But I would like the opportunity to leave the window for some time in my week where it's not like every day I'm running, running, running, running. Like 20 things. But it's hard to do because you're pushing yourself and you're the motivator behind your own career. Yeah. And so it's hard to say no, and hard to know

when to draw the line. When you don't have a, when you don't have a main thing, yeah, if you're not on a show right now, your job is, yeah, your job is made up of a lot of little things. Yeah. Yeah. Then it's, it becomes harder to conceive of and manage the time because if it's like, I know I'm going to be at this place every day from this time to this time or whatever. Like the, the, the junk yard. The junk yard. I know. It's going to be me and that dog, occasionally,

those kids that made up instruments out of garbage. Maybe Leroy Brown will come by. And I hope. Look, he's really bad. Even the dog is like, I'm scared of those dogs. But yeah, no, you must like that song because you're from Chicago bad bad leeway brown. Yeah. I always I'm interested. I I don't know who he was. I know I love Jim Crow. He's from the South side of Chicago the baddest part of town. Oh, that's where Mike's from. He's it well of course.

The bad boy. I when I'm bad like comedy Mike. What I'm at Mike. I was like this guy exemplifies a lot of the personality traits of one bad bad bad I'm always interested in the songs that you know because when we were driving the other day just started singing along to An old survivor song which I believe was like 194 Yeah, and I was like I I don't even know that. I know one survivor song. I have the Tiger, of course.

We have good. But, um, and I was like, oh, yeah, I used to roller skate when I was, you know, like 12 to this song or whatever. But I was, but then I was kind of like, I wonder why Lauren knows it. I know where I heard that song for the first time. Where? I was in a car. I feel, I love lyrics.

I love to know all the lyrics to some of the lyrics first and two. Yeah. And it does happen pretty easily. I feel like a beautiful mevel. Jesus. Have you ever heard one? Oh, you got a house. I didn't get pop. I roasted. Oh, that sounds delicious. No, we're supposed to get sweetpeas. Sweetpeas canceled the show tonight. We're making sweetpeas canceled. Guys, you do your sweetpeas from Popeye canceled. Oh, another one by said this. No, no, no, wait, he's not canceled.

I feel like I can learn lyrics really quickly if I hear a song on the radio at this second time I hear it all, basically, know all the lyrics. I feel like I pick up lyrics pretty quickly, yeah. I love that. Yeah, yeah. And I'm always hear it all, basically, know all the lyrics. I feel like a pickup lyrics pretty quickly, yeah. I love that. Yeah, yeah. And I'm always surprised by, I love me, I love who I am and how I am. But I'm always surprised by people who will be like,

I don't ever know what a song's lyrics are. I know. I'm like, what are you hearing? When you hear it. Do you just hear, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah That sounds wonderful. Flattin' round. So I first heard, you got a big su-song? Flattin' round. Flattin' round. Round to tank.

I know that song because I was in a car with my friends who were a bit older than me, and I was probably 20 and they were like 28 or something. And that song... February to New Year's Eve romance. Friendship. And I don't know if they put that song on or if it was just in the radio, but I had never heard it. And I really liked it.

And then I went home and downloaded it. And then I just always liked it. Alive wire. At that time, I believe it was using... Or napster. Huh, it might have been... I don't think it would be either at the time of this. What year is this?

This would be 2006 or so. Maybe two. Maybe two. It might have been an iTunes. Gumroad? Gumroad? Was that one of them? Missed that.

So then what appealed, what? Gumroad is like a sort of Australian craigslist kind of. Oh, service. Cool. What did the lyrics appeal to you? Um, I just thought it was a fun song. What song is this? I'm high on you.

I think. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're gonna ripple our asses. No, I'll play it. No, shevans are you doing it? Don't try to trick me. All right.

All right. Maybe to her grandma. Grandly. Does. Grammarly. Grandly fucking. Grammarly. Alright, alright. Maybe to a grandma's... Family? Who does me? Grammarly, it gathers away. Fucking Grammarly. I want everyone to put a gram... Get off my ass, Grammarly! It's just fun! It feels great!

Oh, I know this. Yes. Okay. In this video, there's a woman looking out the window. And there's a bunch of stars. I miss... I miss songs like this. Yeah, it's great. Can't people put out songs like this anymore? Well, here's the one. Yeah, I'll just listen. What about

every day of my life? Who does that song? The searches over. That was a very important song to me in high school. What is that one? The searches over. You with me. Oh, the one. I don't think I know that. Shavin. It survived. It survived. I thought so. I thought the while. I don't think I know that. Okay, Shavin. It survived. It survived, right? I thought the voices... Oh, it is. Let's hear the searches.

Let's hear a Grammarly ad. Oh, they didn't do it. Another window. Another window. I need... Oh, my God. I can start with a video. Video directors in the 80s had one idea.

Listen, man. We're survivor. And you can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want with this video, but it must start with a window, a fake window. This song made me think of this girl that I loved so much. Wow, but she was never to be except sometimes. That's around, but she had a boyfriend.

That word, though. Well, that's pretty good. It's better than nothing. You know what I mean? Looking back? Looking back. Looking back, you got somewhere. I got somewhere. I have. She had a boyfriend, but you can't control it. Okay, so when I was 15, I was in love with this girl who was 16. Oh, shit. A November December, she was a month old. Oh, no.

So she was, she was in drama with me. And I just, and, and she lived sort of over by me. Remember where I used to leave the Apple? Yeah, she lived over over but she lived over there Ball of the apple in the Back then the neighbor yellow. Yeah, you got very very Upset about yeah, it was weird. It's weird, but that's why we're telling the story because we tell weird stories That's a good point. Prey's proceed. Prey's proceed.ase, pre, pre, pre, pre, pre, pre, pre, pre,

I beg of you. So I just want to get a ruling on this. Okay. Oh, like this. This is very similar to your story. But so she, I know that she knew I was really into her. Yeah. But only.

She could tell because you had all his heart coming out of your eyes. Yeah. But only viewed me as a friend. But I think that her so when you could put in the friends. Oh, I got to put in a friend zone. That hurts. Oh, you can put in a friend zone. In cells don't like that.

In cells don't like that. In cells. Oh, hey, hey, being in the friend zone. The friend zone is the last place. They may as well call it the in cells zone. So, no. So, this moral is don't put anyone in the friend zone. The friend zone is the last place. They may as well call it the in-cell zone sometimes. Oh no. So this moral is don't put anyone in the friend zone.

Ha ha. That's excellent everybody. They could be, they could be socially pressured monogamy. Nobody puts baby in the corner. Somebody puts in-cell in the friend zone. Nobody puts in telephone zone. Ha ha ha. She was up at school.

In-cell in the friend zone. I have in-cell. In-cell. In-cell. Hey, in-cell. Come back here and open the friends. I have it. And so come back here and up with the kitchen. I'm dropping in the friends. So it's icy out here. Hi, I'm in cell. Okay.

Please, please. So I want to ruling on this because I felt like I was getting mixed messages so Pretty much like me pretty much went the entire school year, right where she wanted me to walk her home Good time But and we would talk and we would laugh and very fun We were in theater together and plays and stuff. And I remember two times something it felt like it escalated once was one time was when we were doing the show Aladdin and

we were in the wings and both about to go on. And she like kissed me on the cheek and said, good luck or something like that. Never, that had never happened before. And then another time, was it opening night? No, it was just like, it was not a special, it was just a, like in May of evening. Mid-run. Mid-run, exactly. That's what was so suspicious about it.

And then the other time was, I went to our house and we were, and remember she loved the movie White Nights. Because she was was she loved dancing So I think I got her the white night soundtrack for Christmas But anyway, say you say me by line or itchy. Yes, and also featuring against all odds by Phil Really call in no not against it. No, that was for the movie against all odds separate lives with You have no right. Just me how I feel. You know, that song.

I don't think I do. Oh, you love that song. It's a good, fine that she has. It's white nights, N-I-G-H-T-S. K-K-N-I. Oh, he looked at white K-N age. Yeah. Separate lives, theme from white nights.

You looked at nights, the time of day. Oh, maybe it is. But that's, look, it's not white nights. Yeah, I don't know. I. Separate lives theme from white nights. You looked at nights, the time of day. Oh, maybe it is. But that's, look, it's not just white nights. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. It's set in Russia.

It's set in Russia. So it's Buriznikov and Gregory Hines. And Gregory Hines is like amazing tap dancing in it. Buriznikov is like, and I saw many times, I saw it with her in the theater. You mean Terry's boyfriend from Sex and the City? Sure. I think I got on Blue Ray recently. It just came out. Okay. So then the other time I'm sitting in her, I'm sitting in her room and we're talking. Wait, go back. Thank you. Got on that Blu-ray. It just came out.

You don't know. Do you just get like a ton of Blu-rays into the Columbia house record? Yeah. I get it. It's a sent to Columbia house and then I go pick it up from that. Do you order a ton of Blu-rays all the time whenever something comes out? Sometimes, yeah. But so often that you're not sure you have it or not. I know it's coming out. I just can't remember if I ordered it or not. You want to.

I may have, it's a lot like the brushy one-string situation. Where a lie becomes true to you. I either did or I didn't. Okay, who cares? Okay. like the brushy one-string situation where a lie becomes true to you. I either did or I didn't. Who cares? Okay. Back to the story. So you're in her. How?

You're in room. And I remember the doors in turn alive. I certainly did my man. Did you check in in the corner? And I remember she had a Marilyn Monroe poster. And that was where I was kind of first fixing your gaze. No, I. Speaking of fixing my gaze, I adjusted my balls.

Those are your gaze. It's like Kathy Griffin. Where are my gaze? Still there in my pants. But I remember the Marilyn Monroe-Poster because I started realizing the sort of cliche of girls of that time, like all having a Marilyn Monroe poster up, like she was the ideal of glam or whatever. Okay, so then she reached over to me and she put something in my jacket pocket and I was

like, what was that? Microfilm? Yeah, she was a spy and it was a dead drop. It was a falcon in the snowman situation. No, it was weird because she came over to me, got really close and then put something in my jacket pocket. And I said, what was that? And she goes, oh, just a piece of trash. And I went, oh, okay.

And then- And how old are you? 15. Right now? Yeah. Is that what you're asking? I went, oh, okay. And how old are you? 15. Right now? She's a bitch. She's a bitch. And is that what you're asking? You look like shit. No.

You look bad, dude. 15? You've been on earth for 15 years. That's a hard 15. Okay. Right, so you're 15. Keep going. Okay.

This is basically a question mark in your life. You're wondering, did you like me or what's that? Yes, so I'm walking home then, and I reach into my pocket, and I take it out, and it's her school picture. She loved you. And she wrote like a heart on the back. She loved you. What are you talking about?

What are you even talking about? By which, you wrote a heart, and then also the words, I'll never fail you. She's never gonna fuck you, dude. What did it say, a heart? Those are a heart in her name or whatever. She, ooh. She had a crush on you.

She kissed you in the cheek. It went in and out, maybe? Do you think she was waiting for you to make a move? Maybe, I'm kidding. You were so aloof that she was like, I'll do all this and then you were like, I can't tell now and I'm an adult. I still won't understand what's going on. But I swear to God, she knew that I was into her

and was not giving you too many moments of time. Maybe she was too afraid. I don't know, and then she became... And then she, yeah. At first. At first. And then she, yeah. At first. At first. And then she became a cheerleader the next year and was popular.

And so that was the end of that. Anyway. I found a clip speaking of, I was going to the clip. What's going on? I just did a part of the clip. After we did the raised by TV show in Philadelphia, I found another clip because of my Captain Noah search. And it's this high school,

this Philadelphia high school singing, choral group singing, I will survive. I'm first I was afraid. Oh no, oh no no. Wait till you're in. It's thinking I would never live without you by my side. It's a very interesting arrangement. It's the Nishamani longhorn

Shamani longhorn. Yes, look it up. Shabani longhorn. I can't can I send you the the link and you're not gonna make fun of me, right? the link and you're not going to make fun of me, right? Shit. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich.

I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to send him the rich. I'm not going to keep those doors locked.

He wrote a follow-up to that cover. Okay, listen to this. I think this is the last one. Now, there's, for the listener, there's a million kids on the stage. And the guys are wearing red jackets and trousers. And, oh, dear. This is the widest thing to ever happen. They're just singing at its fastest time. kids on the stage. And the guys are wearing red jackets and trousers. And oh dear.

This is the widest thing to ever happen. They're just singing it as fast as they can. There's no detectable harmonies or anything. It's just like in unison. Yeah, this is like a banana ram. All their faces are dead. All the women are wearing vests, blue vests and white blouses.

The gentleman are wearing red blazers with roughly tuxedo shirts and black ties. Oh, this is a mess. And there's a drum set there. It goes on forever. It goes on forever. And this woman is, one of the people is bobbing her knee like as if she's

a blue. Oh, I see her. Yeah, one single person. Everyone else is stiff as a board like this, a feather. She's the one person who's into it. But these hairstyles, I remember all these hairstyles. They all look like girls I went to high school with. Yeah.

Do we? Yeah, that is the New York. Were you having a long-horn high school concert choir in 1981? Were you a choir at all? I was in my church choir in grade school and then of course I did the shows in high school. That's a good example of a thing we'd sing and then there was one time I was in a special choir of students there are only a few been doing it and you're shaking your head. I can shake my head.

She's not just shaking her head. Whenever I damn will please. She, I was, I was one of the students selected from my school to join in a massive choir, made up of different students from all the Catholic schools in the diocese. Because we were celebrating the silver, Jubilee, or maybe the diamond Jubilee, whatever, of John Cardinal Crowe, who is the Archbishop of Philadelphia. Related to Nick Crowe's dad. Yeah. Jules Crowe, the private investigator. Uh-huh. That's right. They made their money from arm sales. Oh my God. Huge, huge. So we, we, that's what she said. So there's this big choir of all these,

of all these different high schools coming together and we sang, we sang some religious song that I cannot remember, but I also remember we sang., yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay sang by Miss Patty Lebel. Like Patty Lebel? She's just on Pillow Felt 1986. Yeah, she's very much so from three. Do you still remember it? Philadelphia, get to know us, see what? People who believe in the power of each other can do. Ooh, ooh. Here it is. It sounds totally different.

I did the best I could. Oh, Fue. What do my Aunt Mary'm a perfect pitch. It's people rolling on the Scookel River. That looks so fun. Ben Franklin, I'm pretty sure. With a little girl, they're eating ice cream. This is creepy.

Isn't it weird like now? You can't be near children. Even if it could be your weird costume. Don't be near a child. Well, I was people running up the rocky steps when I took the museum of art. When I took my nephew around when we had when we went to see a movie and everything, I was like, getting kind of paranoid that because my nephew was like, you know, part Asian. Yeah, you're very clearly not related. You clearly kidnapped him is what you think people would think. Oh, did he jump cool up? But no, I started thinking though that no people like a modern, especially in LA,

like people just assume, oh, that must be his dad. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. He must be married to a person. You are really like, right? Right? Nobody thought I was a creep. Right? I walked around saying, like, this is obviously my nephew, everyone. You didn't put a piece of trash in his pocket, wink wink. A little school photo. Of him. Of his own. Here's some trash.

Here's some trash. Why do you think I'm trash, Uncle? Oh, oh, my God. That feels like the wrong clip, however, it was interesting. And I haven't done any of those things in Philadelphia. Yeah, what is all you've done is go to a hotel and a theater. You didn't get to go to a hotel and I went to a theater.

You didn't get to go to a rowing crew? I didn't go to a school. I didn't go to the rocky steps. I didn't go to Liberty Bell. I didn't go to anything but sweet green. I've been to the Liberty Bell. I feel fanatic. Love them.

There he is. His hat's on crooked, but it's okay. That's what I'm saying. Still, I don't like it. Can you play a Kevin? I want to see if it's the chorus. Two women running. People doing double that. And now an old man doing a soft shoe next to a kid. -♪ People love only me man, the was a lot of filly. There's Miss Pat a libbell herself Oh Every Talk about

We are talking with most random clips of We're talking about choir and suddenly we get to build Cosby and suddenly it's Bill Cosby. What is happening? He puts up everywhere. Oh, he haunts us. He haunts us. All right, we have to take a break. All the full of romance for someone that you met. I used to listen to the song and think about her.

Yeah. Nancy Reagan. Yep. And the fact that I wasn't doing it. Yeah. You were saying though. I think I'm confused. First of all, I'm just do it.

You know when he said just do it. Here's my answer to the drug problem. Just do it. Oh, that was separate lines. That was the best part of separate lines. You know what? It was really slow. I love the bridge. The so typical love leads to isolation.

But you build that wall, build that wall. But you build that wall, build that wall. Did that happen? I think this is. Diminishing returns. Let me start it a little high. Isn't that one of our it's. Diminishing returns. Yeah. Let me start it a little. Isn't that one of our pocket tools? Diminishing returns.

Diminishing returns. Yeah, I think it was. Oh my gosh, it's time for a preacher. What do we got? This game is called Disney Court. The suggestion comes to us from at Robert Yoon, two-hosts gift. Uni!

This is like his third preacher. Is there, I think it might be. Two-hosts give testimony to explain their crimes and plead for mercy as a Disney character decides whether or not to free them from the jail. We've decided to modify and have everyone be a Disney character. Yeah, yeah, everyone in the world. But do we look at the mirror?

But do we have to do an impression of the Disney character or we can do it like the other game? And are we guessing who we all are? I think it's Dealer's choice. No, I don't think we're the guests. I think it's Dealer's choice and let's begin. And Paul and I will be, Paul will be the bailiff.

Scott will be the judge and I will be the criminal. Right. In this round. Just picks our count. This is very important. Oh, good question. Yes. Shit.

It's a crossing of three versus. Here we go. Well, you think all Disney movies are in the same universe? And all picks are moved. Well, they say all picks are movies are in the same universe. Well, they look the same. They keep them separated at Disney lane. All right, I'll spring.

I'm separated. No, but. Hey, do you know that theory? No, that's a great song. Do you know that theory that all the Pixar movies are in like the same? Yeah, because they have a little house over at this. Wally is like, you know, monsters incorporated. Yeah.

Okay. What about cars though? Outlier. No, they say that's in there too Like in it, but it's like in the future when all it's like after Wally All the humans are After Wally I think I don't know Wally is Okay, I should I should know I'm judge Buzz Lightyear Your honor. We have an ex-case to review

To infinity and beyond you mean The little joke. Are you by the way, Baylor? I am living candlestick. My name is So perfect for me because I am beast Hello beast. I'm so grateful to see you Lumière. All beast. Oh, hello beast. I'm so grateful to see you, Lumière. All right. Oh, wait, you're supposed to. You're not my favorite guy.

I wonder if I should recuse myself from the beta. No, no, no, we are friendly, ultimately. All right, this guy, this guy, he cursed me to be a candlestick. It was a whole thing. A lady cursed us all. Just hit it. Not my thing, my crimes. I've done something awful, judge.

What? Well, don't you know a little bit of my well, I'm reading the docket and you had a very interesting crime. All right. Sorry. That's what to say. Yeah. I know.

Thank you. All right. The honorable Buzz Lightyear presiding. Gordon's now in session. Explain to me. This is, this is very odd. What you did explain to me exactly in your own words. And don't look at him.

Explain to me what you did. In my own words, I so rarely get to use them. For who could ever listen to a beast? Well, you talked all the time. Oh, you're just physically changed. Very hellend. Exactly. Well, okay, what I did was bad. I'll use my own words. Migo Piggy, make baby go piggy time.

Okay, maybe he should use someone else's word. I'm just saying proper English. What is that? What were you saying Migo Piggy, Migo? What? Migo Piggy, what? Make baby with piggy. Make you baby.

Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. Okay, I'm going to say it. What is that what we were saying me go piggy me go what? Me go piggy what make baby with big make you made a baby make baby made a baby with a pig that beast Yeah, because I am a beast right. I'm not human in when I am beast by the way You are a human because this is post your movie, but look at me Yeah, yeah, you're slightly

Harryer than your name is not Harry, by the way. You're slightly hairier than other you, but you don't still consider yourself to be a beast, do you? Yes, I do. Okay. Because I know my tendencies and my nature. So are you trying to get out of jail? I want to go home.

Home to Belle. You're off to a terrible start. I'm still with Belle, but I cheated on her with a little pee. And explain that in your own words again. Me and I'm a horny go bye bye. Go come come in to pee. How do you? Your honor.

Because look, your honor. Should I clear the question? Light your, light your, light your. Yeah, let me call me your honor, should I clear the light your light your light your yeah Yeah, call me your honor, but it's not light here because I Because I love my wife I sometimes have beastly urges and I had to go out because you love your wife Or in spite of the fact that you love your wife whatever English make go go Please I don't know about this. I was locked away a long time until my book reading wife joined me in my castle. No Frank Sinatra. She. Please. Famous non book reader. Please help me

get home to my wife and you get home. I love love go we we. All right, you're on the right. With your own. Please. That's going to be regular. Yeah, you may have promised. Just a bailiff. Yeah. This is fucked up.

We got it through her. You can't let this guy in. I mean, if you're, you can't let this guy back out of the streets. No, I mean, he's going to fuck more pigs. Yeah, that's what it's. What's the baby? We got to ask about the baby. Do we?

Yeah. There's a baby. Mr. to ask about the baby. Do we? Yeah, there's a baby Mr. Beast. Yes, it is born. It only takes six weeks for pig babies. And it's half human and half pig. Which half is which? We send in the 23 and me and it got way more pig than beast. Okay. It looks like a well-debased. How much I bury him peninsula and sub-Saharan Africa? 2% Sounds about right. Alright. I believe I have a ruling.

Okay. You are going to jail to infinity and beyond my one thing. No one thing I know. The one thing I know. Buzz Light Air. Buzz Light Air. Buzz Light Air. He loves to see them.

And scenes. Wow. That was Air. He loves to say that. He loves to say that. And scenes. Wow. That was fun. That was really fun. No, I want to be the judge. And I want to be, oh my God, reveal myself as in characterization. Oh, okay. Okay, Yoda.

I know it's so cute. By the way, this Disney now owns all of Star Wars. Yeah. No. Okay. Let's just keep it cartoons. How about I'm the... Star Wars. Star Wars. No. Okay. Let's just keep it cartoons. How about I'm the Star Wars, the Golden Wars, from Alias.

They own ABC? Yeah. You're right. Okay. I think that's fair game. Okay. I forgot who I was going to be. Keep going.

Order, order, order in the court. Hey, I'm supposed to say that. I'm Peter Pan. Oh, Peter. Oh, rise. Order in the court. Hey, I'm supposed to say that. I'm Peter Pan. Oh, Peter. All right, order in the court. The judges over here and they want to say who they are. Order in the court. Judge Terriel is now in session. That's right. Slap the fan, slap it a base. And she's also obviously and I love you, man, fan. Okay. And I see it on our docket. We have a very interesting guest today. Yeah, it's me, the tramp. You were so hot in that movie and it confused me. Well, you know, look, I'm a very

loving way to go. We had a minute, wait a minute, don't. What dog? We had a case in here recently about B.C. Reality. This isn't B.C. reality, I'm a mermaid. And anyways, I'm the judge, Baylor, if I can throw you out of here in any second. Oh, I'd like to see you try.

Hi, yeah. You the mermaid roasted Peter Pan. No. Oh, I'm back, because I can fly, I can fly. I can fly. I can fly. I can fly. We know you sing it every day. Okay. Now it says here that you committed a crime that most people would look down upon. Yeah, look. I didn't pay for that spaghetti dinner and a dinon dash, huh? Well, I didn't know it was a dining dash because I'm a dog and I thought, you think human rules don't apply to you?

No, they don't. I'm a dog. Okay. I thought these two human beings are so invested in my relationship, right? I assumed the meal was free. Why wouldn't it be? I'm a runner.

I said here in the transcript that the owner of the restaurant came out to the back alley and put what Mr. Trump here thought was. That's the Trump, excuse me. Mr. the Trump here. Just the Trump, the Trump. Mr. the Trump thought that it was spare food that was going to be thrown out

and then he received a bill on his way out. They give me food. I figure this is stuff that I don't want anymore. That's usually how I get food, right? I have made my decision. Already. I have a decision to let you know. So that's it for me.

No, she hasn't said her decision yet. This is the ramp up. All right. I'm ramping up. Okay. The other case, you have to go on for quite a while. Oh, do you want it to go on longer? Well, you know, hey, the tramp. I'll take you back. I don't have my decision. And I bet you'll be pretty unhappy that I've done that. No, I have

a mean streak. It can come out every once in a while if I am the evil one or from actually myself. Oh my gosh. Ursula. Well, I might be. I didn't know you heard that. Trap? The trap? The trap, thank you. Contown your honor. Contown your honor. No, I won't calm down. Tend to calm down.

What? Oh, this is a mistrial. This is a mistrial. You thought you wanted to have the trial go on. Oh, I can't get a merciless dragon. Well, if I had my Nice little way I would have let you off you poor unfortunate So unfortunate so

I guess there'd be more like questions and stuff. That's why I didn't you pay So it's a bail situation tell me why you didn't pay. Oh, why didn't I pay for the restaurant? Again, I'm just a dog. I don't know. And you don't have a wallet. If you're gonna take a lady out on another excursion, you think you're not gonna pay. You're under oath, do you have a wallet?

I, yes, I have a wallet. What kind? But I don't know what it is, because I'm a dog. Did you steal it from my humans pocket with your mouth? I think that it was, it looked like it was a, like it was, he was purposely putting it in his pocket in such a way that you think it was going to drop on the, no, I didn't.

I'm going to go with my sentence. He added, he's got an attitude. He added, it was coming out of his pocket in such a way that I was like, this guy probably wants it to fall out of his pocket, because he doesn't warn anymore. I will just gently grip it with my teeth and help him out, grip it and rip it down. Are you still with the broad

that you took to the telling in place? You mean, Judge Ursula, lady? I asked you a question. The broad that you took. No, her name is lady. Lady and I are still together. Yes. Okay. And I, but we're not like, why didn't she pay?

We're not exclusive. You know what I mean? Why didn't she pay? I'm sorry. Am I asking too many questions, Judge Ursula? I'm going to make you into a tiny a tiny little booger in a jar. And take everything good about you and take it as my own. Now there's not much left there to take, Peter.

Are you talking to me? Is your name, Peter Pan? I'm the tramp. I'm Peter. Yeah. So it's starting to be. What would you like to exchange for a beautiful skill? Maybe my feet

You know anyone know the skill is You just great head babe you just get rid of your fucking what you mean? Where are we down? I can fly I can fly I can fly The skill I gave him was to give a good blow job. Give him a good give. Yeah, give him. How about to receive? That's not a skill.

See, he fucking way I do it. Is skill to receive what? Peter. I have a special skill. I'm great at receiving blow jobs. I'm great at oral sex receiving it. You're honor. Why didn't she pay?

She, it was a date. Maybe I'm old fashioned. But when two people go to a restaurant, one of them should pay. Should they not? Well, people, sure. But what about dogs? What did I say?

Oh, he caught me in a big boy. Yeah. He caught me in a court trap. You're on here. But here's the question, Trump. You can talk, can't ya? That's right. I can. In this world.

But no one knows if we don't talk around people, so they don't know if I can talk. Yes, they sing to us as if we understand English. Made by. Yes, they put food on plates and give it to us. Instead of a little table. My decision. Oh, shit. Oh, no.

You're going to jail to infinity and be all. Where can we go? Oh, yeah. But why? Because he didn't pay and everyone thinks you're real. Bye. Yeah. What the things do. But why because he didn't pay and everyone thinks you're real. Bye All right now I'm the judge I'm the judge and I'm the bailiff and you are the criminal Scott. Okay. Okay. Okay

Okay, okay Who's name do I know of all these things? I used to work in this. Who was there? Yes. Who did you see? Who did you have a crush on? Someone had a crush on me.

My rare fox had a crush on good old rare bear. Ooh, that's a conflict of intro. It truly was. There's supposed to be the bitters to venomies. Yeah. And he would pop up in the weirdest places. A guy had a crush on me. I felt like he was. There's supposed to be the bitters to Venomies. Yeah, and he would pop up in the weirdest places. A guy had a question for me. I felt like he was a character.

Yeah, to where I felt like he was like, but only when you were in the costume. Right. He would be like pop up right next to me at Disneyland. I'd be like, what are you doing here? Okay. He's like bears. I'm going to be, please, my rabbit. Oh no, wow, I prayed this day would never come don't imprison me please

Death rattle okay I'm I'm the bailiff. I'm the old hag from Snow White before you know that I'm... No! I'm the bailiff! I'm the old hag from Snow White before you know that I'm the queen. And I'm the job, Goofy! Oh! Mr. Goofy! Please! It's Judge Goofy, a fucking weirdo!

I fucked up immediately! Oh no! You sure did! What the hell? Baylon wants what's the charge? This little rabbit has done something so dastardly, so bastardly, so custodily. Custard? That I can't bring myself to sing. It's less time to turn into even more of a hug for having uttered those words.

Say it, I gotta hear all about this. Well, your honor. Oh no. It is not a pleasure to listen to you, Tom. Oh, solicitation. What? A solicitation, Tom. That's your crime?

Yes. You were out there trying to be a sex worker? No, I was trying to solicit job. That's your crime? Yes. You were out there trying to be a sex worker? No, I was trying to solicit one. Oh, I get it. You're so goofy. You're so goofy. You're so goofy. Let me explain what happened.

You know Jessica. Jessica Ramba. You're a beautiful wife. Why does that make you mad? Have you seen my nose? Ha, ha, ha. Why did that make you mad? Have you seen my nose? Why don't you try proactive? It doesn't get rid of warts. Why don't you try compound W? That's for feet. It works on noses too I bet. And I'll goofy. Keep reminding yourself of that.

Keep reminding yourself of that. Why? What a weird threat. Well Jessica was gone for the evening. Anybody want an apple? Yeah sure. You know what I mean? I wouldn't do it. Oh God, please save me. I'm dying.

Why did this happen to my poor? He got two X's for eyes. Oh, baby. This is going to be bad news for me. I'm going to get disbarred just because someone died in your courtroom. Well, I watched it happen. The bay live gave you a point. Who are you? Excuse me. I was his lawyer and your name is this highly erected Uncle Remus. Okay, Uncle, you sound different. Yeah, we had to do some changes with you.

All right, Uncle Remus, your client will be tried past you, Miss Lee. Really? Because, yeah. Sometimes when this happens, the charges are immediately dismissed. Not a Disney court. Okay. No loose ends.

What do you got? Your client is charged on one kind of solicitation. He had a story that we never got to here. What I can understand, and I reviewed his case. His wife, Jessica Rabbit, was cheated on him with Christopher Lloyd, the famous actor. Not Judge Doe, but Christopher Lloyd. She came into contact with him while they were filming the movie.

So she's real. She's real. He was a guy pretending to be a car too. Yeah, but she's real. And well, you know, one thing led to another and he found himself on the other end of the adult tree stick. And who did Roger Rapids, right? I'm a dead client.

Uh-huh. And Who did Roger Rapids? Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, please, he was very courteous to her. And then after they're encountered her, she expected a tip of some sort. And unfortunately, he did not know that it was not a consensual encounter, that it was instead that she was a prostitute, a sex worker, sorry. So she just wanted a tip. Well, you know what they mean? She didn't want to be paid for a number.

You know what they mean when they say a tip, meaning like, no, I guess this lawyer has been with a few sex workers. Is this true? Who look? Every night. Yeah. With this beautiful woman walking. I'm sure. Let me hear. Oh. How's that working out for you? All right, I'm ready to make my ruling. Please. I find Roger Rabbit and his lawyer both to be guilty. You just wanted to say that because it feeds

into the whole guh-uh. Why be like this, then not good, Ilchi? That's true. Okay, I'll give you that. Thanks. I love you. I love you's okay. I'll give you that thanks To infinity and beyond you are going to jail for infinity Fun time fun time time that was a three time That was a true three that was a true that cannot be mistaken for straight up preacher. We got to tell everyone about our shows that we're doing. We got to do it. Yeah, we

haven't live three to come up come out and see us in Toronto on September 19th at our old stomping grounds. The Queen Elizabeth theater. It is literally two weeks from today. So come out. Come be there. See us for just for laughs. Come on. Come on. Wherever you are. Where are you happening? And then watch. I'm not in this movie, but you are both in this movie. Watch the Between Two of Furns movie. It's coming up in just two weeks. Just two weeks. Just two weeks. You can wait two weeks. Can't you?

Two weeks more. The trailer just came out this week. Please watch it. Oh, I'm going to share with his friends. Please! Please! Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

Bye-bye! You're lost