Threedom - Threevisiting: One Less Egg To Fry

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss Freaky Fridaying, JFK and Aerosmith before playing Increasingly Verbose. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at www.kinshipgoods.com/cbbwSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When you hear a good idea, it's natural to do a double take. That's what you might do when you hear Discover will automatically double all the cash back you've earned on your credit card at the end of your first year with cash back match. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Hi, it's me, Ricky Lake. You probably know me from my hit 90s talk show. But if I'm being totally honest, I was juggling so much and didn't have time to stop and think about what truly went into living a full and vibrant life.

Well fast forward to today, I'm 55 and a half years old and I am happier than ever. And I'm so excited to help you find your joy on my new show, The High Life with Ricky Lake. Together we'll learn new ways to live better. Listen to The High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonada Media, out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Oh, welcome to the show where we talk about whatever we want. My name is Lauren. Except for seven year olds.

We get to talk about whatever we want. What did you say, Scott? I'm not allowed to talk. Except for what we agreed we weren't going to talk about. Okay, okay. We won't talk about that. We don't talk about that ever. But everything else is on the table. Everything else. No, everything else except that one subject that we all swore we would never discuss.

We are not going to talk about that. We don't talk about the one thing. We're too ashamed. It's mortifying. You would feel differently about it if you knew about it. Is that embarrassing thing that happened when we went on that trip together and we're never going to talk about it. No, we will never talk about it. It's almost morally wrong. But here's the great thing.

We talk about whatever we want. No one can get mad at us or yell at us. Yeah, well, that's what's great, because there are no guests. There never will be. And it's just the three of us. There never have been. No one to storm off getting angry with us because they were on the show and it wasn't what they expected.

Exactly. One less bell to answer, one less egg to fry. Wow, and that was a clip from the hit song, One Less Egg to Fry. I love song clips. I would say we just play song clips on the radio. I don't need to hear the whole thing.

It's like after 60 seconds, it's like, I get it. Just clips on the radio. I don't need to hear the whole thing. It's like after after 60 seconds, it's like I get it. Yeah, I just did the best part. That's all you need. You guys only listen to classical, right? Yeah, only done. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Coming up next. I may have told you this, but when I worked at Tower Video,

I found out that the of all the branches of tower, the different things that they sold, the place where there was the most theft was the classical section. We had a classical annex next to the video store. So it's like public domain. Well, all those DVDs and CDs are made out of gold. Oh, that makes sense. Because it's a classical. I just saw on Instagram a video that Ben Lee posted of you guys singing Christmas come home or whatever. Parentheses, baby please come home, close parentheses.

And it was so fun. What was that? Clothes parentheses? Yeah, put clothes on a parentheses and see what happens. Clothespins is sort of like a quotation mark. Yes, exactly. Clothespins are like quotation marks. Okay, let's go over all the laundry items and what they're like a quotation mark. Yes, exactly. Clothespins are like quotation marks. OK, let's go over all the laundry items

and what they're like in punctuation. OK, so we have like a big billowy shirt on a clothesline. Oh, no, now that's clothes. OK, so wait. We're talking about laundry items. We're not talking about detergent. A Tide Pod is like a period. Sure, excellent.

Detergent is like an ellipsis, probably. Because there's little grains of it and they dot dot dot. And like a dryer sheet is like a hyphen. Yeah. Washing machine is exclamation point, dry, nope, hold on, washing machine is question mark, dryer is exclamation point. Because it emphatically answers what the question

that the dryer brings up. Yes, are my clothes clean here? Yes, they are dry. Yes, they are dry. Yes, that was from Amy Mann would do a Christmas show every year for many years. I think this is one of the, this past year is one of the only years that she hasn't done it

since maybe 2007, 2008, something like that. Because of COVID. COVID. She stole that from me. I stole that from Lauren. Why can't I call it COVID and we can't stop laughing. It's a fun way to shake things up after 14 months inside. Right?

Yeah. Well, cause I got, cause I caught COVID. way to shake things up after 14 months inside. Right? Yeah. Well, cause I got, cause I caught COVID. And then there's a commercial, if COVID has given you an erectile dysfunction. Does COVID do that? Oh shit. Oh, COVID. Yeah.

And, and, uh, it was, those shows were always so much fun. I was a part of almost every one. Um, and I really missed that a lot. I really missed it this year because it's a, it's a fun time always. And she, in recent years, she and Ted Leo have been doing it together. Um, and it's a real good time. It's a really good time. It made me really nostalgic for like 80 different things at once.

Yep. Watching that video. Absolutely. Um, for me without a Yep, yep, absolutely. Yeah, for me without a mustache. Ceilings. I miss when you didn't have a mustache. I miss being in ceiling rooms with others.

I miss Christmas. You miss lamps. I miss lamps, I miss. Why do you, hold on. Just watch a Pixar movie. There's one at the beginning of each one. Why would she miss lamps? I don't know. He made the point.

And then he set it up. He set up his own joke that it was like. I didn't have a joke before I said it. Scott. He was like, I got to mention Pixar's lamps. Scott, during COVID, did you put all your lamps out of your house? I threw them all away. I thought they caused it. That was never a thing.

I wanted to live in the darkness. Every time I've been to the doctor, they turn on that light. Do you look at your bow hole? Yep. Hello there, there, there, there. Paul, that's what this is. Come on, Paul.

Stop hanging your head in shame. That's what this show is, okay? That's not, no, hold on a second. That That's what this show is, okay? That's not no hold on a second That is not what this show is that is maybe an aspect of this show But that is not the thrust the thrust is fun. That's true Thrusting is fun. Oh shit Don't spread have you ever wished you had a penis like even once? Wished?

Oh, I wish my boy had a penis right now. I really wished it. I mean, I definitely got on my hands and knees and prayed. Hands and knees? Can I get on all fours to pray and no one will ever break me of that habit? Sticking my little butt up in the air. Dear God, I'm like a little dog. Can I get on all fours to pray and no one will ever break me of that habit? Sticking my little butt up in the air. Dear God, I'm like a little dog.

Please grant my wish. Give me a penis for a day. One day. Just to know what it's like. What if you prayed to God and then all of a sudden you heard a voice saying, your wish is granted. Oh, that would be shocking. Right?

I mean, you know, freaky and freaky Friday type situations that I think we're getting into it. We don't talk about it enough that there is something about the body that is too. It's almost too much to get around. That like that's a child being

it like, for example, the original freaky Friday, a child being in a mother's body and then suddenly you're like, I'm this body. Like it's just like, they don't, I feel like they don't react to their, anything besides their face whenever they do a Freaky Friday situation.

Well, in the more recent, in the Freaky Friday remake, I believe, yes, there was a lot of reaction to the body, which is fun for the parents, I guess. And you can use it for the children. Yeah, it's pretty weird. Yeah, it's weird when it's the kid going like, what, my body does this? Yeah, they're being like, I got tits now?

My tits are all the way up here instead of all the way down there. This is what the show is. If we were to Freaky Friday each other, who would you want to be in? Well, I guess none of you, because after that conversation, that's pretty disgusting. If you had to pick one of us to Freaky Friday.

I don't even want to be in. Okay, ignoring, okay, so this is the conversation they have whenever they were at one of those movies is, ignore the body. You just gotta go through the day as this person. And what happens- Yeah, like, whose lifestyle and whose spouse do you wanna hook up with and all that kind of stuff?

Well, that thing, you made it weird. Oh my God. Whose spouse do you want to essentially rape? It's not rape if they don't know you're somebody else's son. It's false pretenses. What are you going to say? Okay, look, guess what? I mean, cool up.

It's Paul. I'm in Scott's body. But let's have sex. I've always wanted to do this as Scott. So like you guys, obviously I know you would want to switch with me and then be able to fuck Mike. I want to switch with you and turn Mike down for sex. Just to see the look on his face.

Here's the thing about Freaky Fridaying is that, yes, it would be interesting to be in someone else's body, but I would hate for someone else to be in my body. Yeah. And no things about me. One way freaky Friday. One way freaky. Then what happens to you?

Just a lifeless husk? Just sitting there? Yes. With no soul. All right. I got to go in the closet. Make sure no one knows where I am. Freaky Friday.

I don't think I'm dead. Not breathing. What if it was like you passed out at a party and somebody drew all over you? I guess I wouldn't want a Freaky Friday with any of you. The Freaky Friday is like the fantasy of being someone that you will never... Admire. Oh. No, just like, you know, I don't know, being an athlete or whatever. But you don't get the abilities because your brain doesn't work the same way.

So if like you Freaky Friday with like a famous football player, you're not going to be good at football. But what about like if you, if it was like a weightlifter and you're like, well, I mean, they're strong. All I want to do is walk around preening and lifting things. I'm just covering myself with oil But as ever enter a weightlifting bodybuilding competition, yeah, of course From Real Housewives reality recap. Yeah who?

Got very fit and started doing bodybuilding and it was like so it was real house. I was OC Tamra. I don't know why that's so gross to me. It's pretty oil. It's the oil. It's the oil and it's the it's a type of swimsuit they put on and how they walk out and pose. And it's just something I'm sideways posed to with the elbows up and the elbow down. Yeah.

Yeah. I find it kind of funny. And I know that people take it deadly seriously, but the dreams of which are dying. That it's just like you do all this work on your body. And then the the end game is you walk out on a stage and you pose and do a bunch of poses. And then people applaud. And I guess you win, maybe. Yeah. Well, people want to fuck you more? Well like Arnold Schwarzenegger got like you know a bunch of movie roles from it. That's true. And Terry Crews, those big-ass

muscles of his. Was he a bodybuilder? Terry Crews? He's a football player but I mean it's the same like you're doing the same stuff like like he could have been a bodybuilder. Hold on he could have been but he wasn't Scott that on, he could have been, but he wasn't. Scott, that's a crucial distinction. He did not oil himself up and put on a Speedo. Tiny Speedo lifting up his elbow. You really want to see that? Cause I can make that happen.

I would Freaky Friday with him. Cause I bet he has a lot of fun. Yeah. Who has the most fun? Like access to things, I think is the reason of Freaky Friday. Yeah. Who has the most fun? Access to things I think is the reason for Freaky Friday. I would Freaky Friday with Taylor Swift because it would be like not- On a day where she goes to an event or something, not when she's just hanging out in the woods

with her boyfriend. No, but I was actually thinking I want to be in her house and I'm sure it's really cool. So maybe she goes from her house, takes a private helicopter to the Grammys, performs. Yeah, so I do like a really bad song. You take her career. And everyone's like, that sucks, is she okay? But I mean, you would have... And I do interviews after and say really weird things.

You would have her singing ability, wouldn't you? Yeah, but I'd have to know all the songs. Like maybe I wouldn't know all of them, because I know I have a lot of them. You don't think they're teleprompters? Come on. You'd have her voice, but I don't think you would have the confidence to use the voice,

because singing is half confidence. Or to play guitar. Well, the guitar part is, yeah, definitely. Singing is 98% confidence. And 2% skill. Maybe the president. And 1% hot. Maybe the president, the Freaky Friday with the president would be really interesting because

then you could see all the UFO shit and you could figure out who. You could determine policy. Yeah. Who killed JFK. And then I would be in Joe Biden's bed. You'd be like, hey, remind me who killed JFK again. We tell you this every day. Wait, so you're Freaky Friday with someone who has early dementia?

We tell you this every day. No, I'm assuming he gets freaky Friday'd every day. But Scott. Yeah, once you leave yourself open to it. Is that a conspiracy theory that someone else killed JFK? What? Yes. It's one of the most famous ones of all time.

Lauren. What? I mean, that it's one of the most famous ones of all time Lauren What? I mean, that it's not that guy? Lauren Lauren You've never, oh my god, there's so many conspiracy theories about JFK I guess I know this

What's the movie JFK? It's right there in the title I don't wanna watch that It's right there in the title Hold on, wait, I'm just gonna Google this. Oh, good luck. I mean, it's probably, I mean, it might be the first conspiracy, like major conspiracy that people talked about. Let's just say I've never heard of this, just for the sake of the conversation.

But everyone at home, just chill out. It's not that big of a deal that I don't know what this is. And maybe I do and I forgot. Who even gives a shit anyway? And and I forgot Who even gives a shit? And who cares? Yeah, we even give the shit. I don't really get caught up in conspiracy theories one way or another but I went to the I went to the Place where he was killed when I was in Dallas and went into the building where they showed where it was Yeah, because the museum is built Plaza he was not killed in the depository

He was not killed in the depository. Well, he was killed in the car, but I'm saying you go, the museum is built so that you can go through and then see the actual point where the person was standing, where they shot the gun. Who would you say the person is? Lee Harvey Oswald. Yes. There you go. You said Pat Oswald.

Pat Oswald. And he was two or something. I don't know when he was killed. So. Pat is dead. But I'm saying. But I'm saying. God, I feel like I'm an idiot, but I'm saying like,

I went to that museum and I stood there and I'm saying, so then they think they figured out where he shot from all these different things. And then they're saying it wasn't him. Who's saying this? People who have conspiracy about everything? So Kevin Costner in the movie kind of goes through all the reasons that they don't think it was him because of like the angles of the bullets don't match

and all this kind of stuff. So everyone thinks that like there were, there was at least another shooter in the bushes essentially, you know, and that they framed Lee Harvey Oswald. You know, he was a Patsy who sort of took the fall because he was just like some dumb shit, you know. And then he was killed shortly thereafter by Jack Ruby, who died of cancer. And it's all, there's a lot of stuff that if you look at it, does seem extremely fishy, but the Occam's razor explanation just is the clearest one. It's like, yeah, one guy killed him.

You think by now someone who knew would have come out and said like, oh, by the way, because people just can't keep a secret like that. It does seem impossible. They couldn't even keep Watergate secret for that long. You know what I mean? Even the Judas and the Black Messiah dude like came out on 60 minutes was like, oh yeah.

I worked with, who was it? The FBI or the CIA? FBI. FBI. FBI. But yeah, like even he couldn't keep his mouth shut and it ruined his life. Yeah.

Wow. And he killed himself later that week. Yeah. Really? Because of it. It just seems impossible that somebody that they could keep a secret for that long. However, I don't, it doesn't seem entirely out of the realm of it. It just seems impossible that somebody that they could keep a secret for that long. However, I don't it doesn't seem entirely out of the realm of possibility.

It's not that nuts to think that there was a conspiracy, that there was another person and or whatever, and that they framed somebody. But like, if they could frame Roger Rabbit, I mean, I mean, frame anyone, because he's so savvy. He's a canny rabbit. So, but is the theory that the that you're saying part of the conspiracy thing is that the president knows who really did it or that kind of thing? Like people think that too? They let the president in on like all of these secrets when they become president.

And that's pretty exciting. That is one that people think, you know, oh yeah, that's probably something that the CIA knows about or whatever. And it's UFOs and who killed JFK seem to be the two major ones. Paul, can you think of any other ones? Oh, moon landing. That's my moon landing. That's my favorite one. That didn't really happen. Yes. Which is just like, what is that? Yeah. The hardest thing. When we talked about how nobody's gone there again, which is the part that I find weird,

I'm like, well then if it's so easy, and we've already did it in the 60s. We've already did it in the 60s. Then why don't we do it again? That's when people start going, we're going back to the moon. It's like, who gives a shit? I know, well didn't we see

that there wasn't really anything up there? I think there is an there is an a and a notion to to make a base on the moon that would then be a way for us to get to Mars easier. I I really don't want to go to Mars. Yeah. You better get used to it, because that's where we're all going. Yeah. I mean, we'll be in that's where we're all going. Yeah. I mean, we'll go there. Yeah, we'll go there in a couple of years.

I mean, yeah, I don't know if I would go to Mars. Maybe if I was an old man, you know what I mean? If I was like a widower and I had nothing left going on, I'm retired. We talk about this every six episodes. We honestly, we honestly do. But we haven't explored this angle before. Okay, great. No, it did seem fresh. It seemed fresh.

Yeah, I would go to the moon, but I would only go to Mars, I think, if it was like, because you're not coming back from that trip. In our lifetimes, I don't think. Here's what I would like. How long does it take to get there? Like three weeks, right? Here's what I would like.

Something like that. We looked it up last time, I think, but here's what I would like. We say the same things. We're so stupid. If, if Paul, Paul, if you went to the moon, Here's what I would like to say the same things. We're so stupid. If if Paul, Paul, if you went to the moon, let's say you were like ninety nine. And Janie had passed away at, you know, that three days, three days early.

Yeah. OK. She's so she's 90 days earlier. She's she also got to live a very long time. She's in her 90s as well. Then you go to the moon and it would be like comedian, Paul F. Tompkins. Go. I don't know why the new former comedian. He's probably because he's the last person who remembers me.

Who's to the moon? And then you're on the moon and you're like, I guess I'll do a podcast from here. And then you do. Oh, that would be so awesome. The moon from Mars. It's like freaking cold, dude. It's cold as hell. Did you ask me a question or no No, I'm just describing your fate.

I see. So three days after my wife dies, I am going to Mars to do a podcast. Hell yeah. You're 99, and you go to Mars to do a podcast, and the earwolf supports you. Yeah, emotionally. And the rocket ship says ear, ear, ear, of branding. And you have an ear, wolf hat that you got for Christmas.

We just got it by Pennzoil. 500 years before. Still couldn't get you any ads, but we will provide a rocket ship to take you to Mars. And then you get up there and they're like, we actually did get one ad. And then you're like there and they're like, we actually did get one ad and then you're

like, it's internal. It's what? It's internal. It's where someone else's broadcast. For scam goddess. You're up on Mars and you're like, fuck this shit. You just take off your helmet. Yeah, because Lacey's doing scam goddess and she's 75.

Talking about future scams. She's been doing it for her whole life. Future scams. This robot tricked so many people. All right, let's take a break. When you hear a good idea, it's natural to do a double take. That's what you might do when you hear Discover will automatically double the cash back you've earned

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Just hide under the covers. Who is she? Don't worry about it. Hey, we wanted to ask you, does anything motivate you to cook more than having- Oh no, not a question about my motivations. Does anything motivate you to cook more like having high quality ingredients on hand?

You know what? Get ready to be surprised. Nothing does. Nothing motivates me more for that. And guys, I've been cooking a ton recently because of Butcher Box. Really? Really? Yeah, really. I never thought I'd be able to make pulled pork all on my own. I could pull it probably. And you know, my parents didn't think so either. But with Butcher Box's pork, which is raised crate free by the way, I was able to make these incredible sandwiches for our famous barbecue. Wow. You make your own sauce.

Well, we were all shocked you made them by yourself. We didn't believe you. We started kicking your butt. All my friends were shocked. I got beat up. The one thing I've heard about ButcherBox is the big draw is the convenience. Can attest. Of it. Less trips to the grocery store, more time to enjoy cooking. Plus I also heard ButcherBox gives you curated tips and recipes based on what's in your box which as far as I'm concerned is super helpful. Well wait, the value.

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or going to cookunity.com slash THREEDOM. And we're back. We're back. We're back. And everything's changed. I know I am. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I think we're all back. I think we've all grown up a little bit in that time. Yeah. Yeah. Paul, what is your favorite Aerosmith song? Is it honking on my ear? I think we're all back. I think we've all grown up a little bit in that time. Yeah. Yeah. Paul, what is your favorite Aerosmith song? Is it honking on Bobo?

Ugh. What the hell does that mean? Why? Like the harmonica. Honking on Bobo? Yeah. It's for real. It definitely sounds like it's an innuendo.

I agree. Like everything's been going on? All of their songs are a little bit innuendo-ish if you really think about it. Gotta say Dream On. It's an epic rock anthem. Dream on. I wish I could sing it.

I know, but only Steven Tyler can get up there. The only one who has that little voice of his. Oh, the toxic twins, they've done it again. Liv Tyler showed her home on architectural digest. There's this great show that I really enjoy. I think it's on a Hulu called open door or something like that. Reality recap. Yeah. It's not, it's not necessarily reality. I mean, it's true, but it's more,

it's home tours and hers was really great. Highly recommend. Just like, why was it? It was just a really cool New York. Do I talk about this? Was it funny? No, nothing's funny about this program. No, it's totally serious. Her home had some whimsy to it. She had like a pink skylight.

A pink skylight? Mm hmm. You're not allowed to have that. She did. What was pink about it? Was it like a... The glass was tinted pink. The glass was tinted itself or was it a...

When you get to the top floor it's like pink looking. Oh, wasn't the mechanism of the skylight was painted pink? Anyway, fun show if anyone cares about that kind of thing. So I've... No Scott, be quiet. I feel like... The one detail you've given is there was pink skylight. The one detail that you gave...

So what? I don't have to tell you her whole thing. I'm just saying it was a good episode. I'm. So what? I don't have to tell you her whole thing. I'm just saying it was a good episode. I'm not saying it's a story I want to tell. I've been told my stories are long, boring, and pointless. Who told you that? Who would say some what?

I do feel, Lauren, like you mentioned her before on some reality show or something where she was still Yeah, what's your deal with Liv Tyler? being herself and you liked her attitude about something. I like her. And actually in that episode, she goes and looks through some old boxes of Lord of the Rings memorabilia that she was given at the time that they shot the movie. Of course, you know, I now care about that a little bit.

She burns it all. Throws it in the incinerator. But they gave her like a giant sword or some shit. That, by the way, is my favorite bit to do when someone gives you a gift is to immediately say thank you and immediately throw it in the trash. When when when does this happen in your life? Oh, my God, this is so thoughtful. Thank you.

So I'm Christmas. I'm going to put it in. I mean, that's pretty. I probably did talk about her. Excuse me. I probably did talk about her before because I also find her kind of, well, no, but I find her kind of interesting because she, there's that whole story, which I'm sure I have wrong where she didn't know Steven Tyler was her dad until she was older.

She thought it was Todd Rungren. She had like a poster of him on her wall. Yeah, that's weird. And the poster said, I'm your dad. Oh, that's like Popeye. I mean, he does, but he sort of does that at the end of a walk. He's very much like Popeye. Yeah.

He's the Popeye of singers. Scott, was there ever a chance? I don't sing. Scott, were you really close to being cast on full house as the Dave Coulier part where you could do all your impressions? Probably when I was 15 or 14 would have been my favorite, like dream job or something like that. Cause I like, I would look at like Robin Williams.

I was in a church play. I remember where it was like, there was this Christian sketch group that I remember would play Knott's Berry Farm during the Christian band times that I remember would play at Knott's Berry Farm during the Christian band times that I would go there and see certain Christian bands like Striper. DC Talk.

And DC Talk was not around yet. They were not around yet either. Steve Taylor, Striper. Carmen. I actually, I did see Amy Grant there and Michael W. Smith, I believe I saw both of them. But so there was this Christian sketch group who would do like basically like leave it to beaver parodies

and stuff like that. Oh, boy. But have a Christian message at the end, you know? And so I remember we put on one of them at the church and I was cast in it and I was like imitating a TV, switching channels and I was doing all the programs and all that kind of stuff. You know, when I was like. That was great.

And the funny thing was, is I wasn't like sticking to the script. I was like throwing in stuff. Scott. Something called improv. But that's the thing, I wasn't improvising. Like I was doing the same thing all the time, but I was just kind of like, it was more like I was doing punch-up,

but I thought it was improv. So I remember, and this is so mortifying, but I remember when the directors of it said, hey, we're going to do another show the year later. I was kind of like, I knew I was the big hit of the show. So I was like, hmm, could I improv in this one? And they were like, yeah, sure. Like they didn't give a shit.

No one noticed you changed your name. But just how fucking stupid. Well, that was, no, that was like when I was in children's theater, like my first, like, this was like in my town, there was just like anyone could audition. So from any school or whatever. And I was in- Was it like a community theater? Yeah, yeah. But it's for kids. So I was in- Was it like a community theater? Yeah, yeah, but it's for kids.

So I was in... Like Cars for Kids. Yeah. One, eight, seven, seven, Cars for Kids. K-A-R-S, Cars for Kids. Ah, ah, ah, Paul Smash. It's literally the worst thing I've ever heard. But I was in the Beauty and the Beast show

and I didn't get any parts. I didn't get cast. Was it the licensed one or was it like a knockoff? It was, because I think it had the songs from the Disney movie. But- That would be the tip off. Yeah, I mean, I was 10,

so I'm trying to remember what happened in it, but I was cast as Mother Wolf, which was an add-on part. There was like a little wolf family. I love where they do shit like that. Mother Wolf. There's Mother Wolf, Father Wolf, and then Baby Wolf. And we were like, we would come out as these little interstitials

and like do a little- The whole thing about that show is Beast is the weird one. I literally held a mixing bowl. I came on stage, I held a mixing bowl. It was just like a wolf. And then I would like improvise things. But I also think it probably wasn't improvised because that just sounds like it'd be a total train wreck.

And now that I think about it. Were you like repeating jokes you knew worked? Yeah, it's probably the same thing where I was like, we got to improvise. But it was like- You're doing like the Hanukkah song. I just came out and had like little funny things as like little levity.

I mean, but I can imagine what it really would be. It would be like the long silence as I walk out. And then like we say something weird as the spotlight finds us. And then like we leave and everyone's like, he or whatever. I get it. And it feels amazing because we crushed. We crushed. I mean, and and expectations are low in like those situations

from an audience standpoint. So you probably are crushing. Really, you think there's like a- I pay money to see the show. I genuinely- You pay money to the church? You mean the offering? Yes, the tithe. If my nephews did a play-

Comes with the show included. Yeah, show included. They give you a ticket. Give us 10% of your income a show included. Yeah, show included. They give you a ticket. Give us 10% of your income, show included. If my nephews did a play, I would love to go watch. I would love to watch a little children's play. I went to go see Matt and Morgan Walsh's kid be in a play once. It was really fun.

Like, cool up. And I went to go see them in Little Shop of Horrors. And it was so funny funny because they had multiple kids playing the same part. Yes. So like two mushniks would come out and say their lines simultaneously. What?

So it's, yeah, it's insane. It's so funny. Why, why like that? Why not like? I know, why not switch them off? Yeah. Performance now because it was. Or even just like scene by scene or something.

It was so funny. See, my scene would be funny. They wereaneously talking. Like to have all the kids playing the part dressed the same and then they just come in and out. There's no explanation. It's just like whenever they go off stage, a new kid comes on.

It's super confusing. So this was just so that more kids could get the chance to have an equal. Yeah, yeah. Because there was no pretense about the show being good. That was what I loved about it. It was like, look, these are five to six year olds. This is not going to be a good show.

We just want to get them out there to have the experience and have all the adults taking pictures and stuff like that. We want them to be able to have a story to tell later when they're on a date. I like the idea of having someone you say it in sync with, because then if you forget what the line is, they all forget, forgot what the line is. I don't think a single person remembered any of the lines.

It was so funny. What if there was someone on stage on a Broadway play the same way there is with children's theater, like a teacher is there like trying to give people cues. I mean, I know they say that all the time, it's such a cliche that that's the actor's nightmare, whatever. I literally have that nightmare like once in a while. And it's the scariest thing ever.

Yeah, it is. Like you're like, I have no clue. I was in like Hamilton and a dream that I had and I was like, I don't know what's going on. I don't know who I am. I know there's an expectation. I know I have always fucked up and forgotten

to memorize the lines over the like previous three months. I've always like procrastinated on it. And then one day it's like, hey, by the way, you got to go on tonight. It's like, fuck, I never learned the lines. Well, and even when I did like, oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. What I get a lot is I've memorized the wrong thing.

Oh. And then they say, okay, we're doing this. And I'm saying, I thought we were doing the other one. And they're like, nope. Well, when I would do that community theater stuff, I was always really, really nervous about forgetting my lines. And that was so stressful.

Like the memorizing was the hardest part. And then as you get older, it's like, cause I always think like Broadway seems so intimidating half just because of the memorization. And I would be like nervous that I would mess it up. up But like I do feel like your brain gets into like a rhythm with memorization that it becomes so much easier It's always so funny when someone comes out and jumps ahead in the script Because this would happen at high school not the like pro shows that I did but like in high school sometimes like pages and pages would be skipped.

Like like 15 pages, someone comes on and does something from 15. And then and then it's like everyone backstage is going, Oh no, he skipped 15 pages. What do we do? And then it's it's like somehow trying to maneuver them into getting back on track of the pre because, you know, something needs to happen in those 15 pages to make the whole thing. sense. It's so funny. So you know what I mean? I'd be like, hey, we get to go to Denny's even earlier. Yeah.

But I always kind of feel like if something gets skipped in a show, that means that it's not important. You know what I mean? Like anytime I was doing comedy and I would forget a bit in part of a bit I was doing, I was always like, oh, that's the part that should have been cut out. Yeah. If you can't remember it, then it's just a bit.

Although I have done that on stage where I've tried to do an old bit and forgotten, I did it on TV once! I had to do a TV spot in this Australian, when I was doing an Australian, I was doing the Melbourne Festival, and I got this TV spot, and I had, I had like a small, it was a very small

amount of time for the set. So I was like, okay, I'm going to do an old bit because all those old bits were shorter. And I thought I could just do it from memory. And I forgot a crucial part of the bit and no one was laughing. Like I just completely, I just completely like edited that out of my mind and went on and I skipped like a, I cannot tell, I cannot stress enough how this is what made the bit good, was this piece of information that I completely forgot.

By the way, I'm talking about a ghost. Well, it's also like, I feel like with any sort of stand-up thing like that, you need every word of it, even if you think that part's not that important to the, it's like it just makes the rhythm right and it. Yeah. Although if you're, I don't know, I feel like sometimes when I was doing standup, if you're in the moment enough and you skip a bit, as long as you're communicating what you need to say, it's like, Oh, I didn't need that stuff.

Yeah. Well, sometimes your mind edits that way naturally. Like when you're trying out material, it kind of automatically goes to the parts that work better. Yeah. And then you kind of look back and you realize, oh yeah, I didn't need to be throwing that in there. It didn't have anything. Sometimes you'll go back and go like,

oh shit, I forgot that was a really funny part. And then you go, it was just dragging the pace down. Who's dragging the pace down? It was a real pace dragger. Unlike Lee Pace, who's vaxxed? I did see his picture. He posted some sort of like, the picture was like for some reason everyone's obsession recently

It's a crazy look stoned out of his mind, right? He's wearing like he also has like long hair He has long hair. The background is is incredibly vibrant right? He's jive rent Sorry vibrant. Thank you. I accept your apology. I'm not I don't accept your Lauren well vibrant. Thank you. I accept your apology. I'm not. I don't accept your apology. Lauren. Well, it was directed at me or was it only you? He was reviving with vibrant. But yeah, everyone was like a little pulse of Max on the arm rather to bang him or whatever. I did. I did Seth Meyers show with him and I said hi before the show and he's like, Oh, do you want to take my trash out? First of all, he's like, incredibly, he didn't know who you were at all.

Yeah, no, no, no. My trash. Yeah, that's how I felt. He should have acted to me. Instead, he was like, I'm so nervous. And I was like, what? I should be nervous. No, no, not to me.

Just to do the show. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, not to me, just to do the show. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. To do the show, Lauren. He doesn't give a shit about me. But he was like so human, he's just like, I'm so nervous. I'm like, you're Lee Pace, you're going to be fine no matter what happens. I'm your eyebrows. I mean, it does feel like it's so much easier on non-comedians to do a show like that

because there's no expectation for you to say or do anything funny. You just have to like have a conversation. But that's also like, they're not used to being funny in this situation, so they feel a big expectation of like, oh shit, what if no one laughs at anything I say? Right, right. Yeah, it's true.

I feel like anytime I've done something like that, I have like an out of body experience. Like I feel like I'm not like the bear. It's so weird. Yeah. I've done such a bad job anytime I've done panel on a talk show. I hate doing panels. It's the worst because you just feel like, no, they don't, they don't know who I

am. They're, they're like bummed out. It's not a cooler guest. Oh, see for me, I feel like my feeling is I'm not a stand up. So when I do these things, I'm like, I don't like having a prewritten joke. I don't, I don't like having a pre-written joke that I'm going to say. And then if I don't pre-write, then I feel like I get steamrolled by the people who did pre-write. So then it's like, it's just not, it's not my favorite way to be funny.

The only thing that I ever liked that happened was on that Seth Meyers. I had gone through three pre-interviews where I talked about my stories and I was like, I don't even like these stories or whatever. But then when I got out there, Seth was like, so you host, you're the host of your show. And I said, yeah, this is weird. Shouldn't we like, I should be interviewing you. And he's like, great, let's switch.

And then like we switched. That's so much more fun. I would rather do stuff like that every time. It was so fun and he was so into it and so like cool about it and everything. It made like, it made the interview so much more fun that we started on just like an improv note. Yeah.

Sounds like a great experience. Sounds good. I think, I think having to tell. I had a good experience Paul. Well I'm happy for you. Sure you are. Having to tell the same story over and over again is really like brutal. Yeah.

You get used to it. I mean not on this show. No this show, it helps to forget that you've told the story before. Yeah, exactly. Things about Mars. So much better if we just like you just say stuff you said like 20 hours ago, as like episodes ago, you know, as opposed to like someone called you and asked you. I'm happy to repeat all my same stories on here.

And I also am happy to receive my spankings. You can't say fairer than that. Is that a phrase? Yeah, yeah, of course it is. They say it in JFK. They say it in JFK. You can't say fairer than that. That was once said to me in the country of its origin, England, when I was working on that Kelsey Grammar show. You were living in England working on the Kelsey Grammar show?

Kelsey Grammar presents the sketch show, Lauren. Don't act like you didn't watch every episode that aired. I think it was like, how many aired? I think six aired out of 13 episodes. I don't really, I'm sure we've talked about this, but I'm going to Google this. It may have come up before. Paul could just tell you. Well, I mean, that's part of trying to make it so he doesn't have to repeat himself. Well, since it was an adaptation of a British show that already existed,

we were doing their scripts and stuff. I'm looking at you. The guy who was the producer of the show who was the you know He was the showrunner. He was not the director, but he was the showrunner. He kept encouraging us to Do the exact line readings from the original sketches and he would kind of like try to Direct you into the end of that like force you into that and it was frustrating because you know It was me and a couple of, a few other Americans,

Marilyn Rice Cub, Caitlin Olson, Malcolm Barrett. You know, we all auditioned and everything. And at the, the additions were a lot of fun. And then when we finally got there to do the show, it was sort of like, we're just become parrots. And it was really frustrating. It's like, you could have gotten anybody to do this if this is what you wanted. Why did you bother having why did you bother auditioning comedy people?

So after a few weeks of shooting I was getting so frustrated because I was just being given these line ratings over and over again. And finally the producer at one point said it's funnier that way, you know about this one sketch. He said it's funnier that way, you know, about this one sketch. He said, it's funnier that way. And I said, you can tell me that it's faster. You can tell me that you like it better. You can tell me that it's going to play better on screen, but you cannot tell me that it's funnier.

And he said, he said, you know what? You're right. That's true. And he walked away. And then this grip turned to me and said, well, you can't say fairer than that's true. And he walked away. And then this grip turned to me and said, well, you can't say farer than that, mate. And I was like, yeah. And so one time he kind of agreed that it was a shitty situation.

That'd be great if he wheeled in a birthday cake that said, you're fired on it. That actually would have been great. Everyone's saying happy birthday mistaken Mistake. Speaking of cakes. Yes. Are you going to show off your legs? The way in your butt. My legs and butter, my cakes, tasty cakes. They the way they do craft service

in in London was they would put out these little like throughout the day there were they would bring out little you know like trays of things and just kind of put them all over the set did you experience this all over this yeah what because like they never took lunch not like on the set where you're filming but like around so it's like an easter egg on my experience was like that we didn't take lunch then you have like little food coming out all day so everyone's kind of like always feeling good. Oh, we did have lunch. Walking lunch or whatever it's called.

Wow. Well, we were feeling in a place where they had a canteen, so we could go there and get lunch. I really like the comedy aside and the way the comedy was directed aside, that was a great experience. And I loved being over there and feeling like I was working in a different experience. And I loved being over there and feeling like I was working in a different culture.

And it was really cool. But I love that they would have, so they would put little, first they would put out little savory things. So you would like turn around, you'd walk off set, you'd turn around there, like sitting on a ledge would be like a little dish with, you know, some savory thing in it. Sitting on a ledge.

So you're really hung up on where it is. No, I'm just fascinated with like, I wanna get it from the person because who knows how long it's been on that ledge. You know what I mean? Who knows if like how many flies have landed on it. But that's also, this isn't lunch, this is snacks. I know, but like even snacks,

like just like I wanna get them from the person. Like straight from the. What do you, wait, what do you want? They're all like deviled eggs and stuff. I just don't trust anything. They're like a little jar of mayonnaise with a spoon. You know what I mean? Like if I just happen upon, oh my God, here's a snack sitting here that's been unattended for three minutes.

But they but the food at Crafty is unattended largely. You know what I mean? Like the craft, the craft service. There's usually a craft service. And they're like passing out the grilled cheeses and stuff Well these people are doing that except they're not putting it in your little hand sweetheart That's what I don't like about it because anyone could like fart on it or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, I didn't realize how many enemies you'd made on sets Constantly farting I have to be worried

Have to be worried. I have to be on guard at all times. I would love to work on comedy banging TV show and just walk around and fart on all your food. You missed your chance. And I secretly know I did that. We got canceled. Sorry.

Oh man. How many episodes did you do Lauren? Do you remember? Of this TV show? Yeah. I think three or three. Sounds right. Somewhere around there. How many did you do, Lauren? Do you remember? Of this TV show? Yeah. I think. Three or something? Three?

Sounds right. Somewhere around there. How many did you do, Paul? You probably did, let me guess, 12? Five? 12, really? You did at least five, because you did, I mean, there are certain people who did one per season,

like Andy Samberg and Matt Besser and you, I think. But you probably did two a season, didn't you? Maybe I did. Yeah, so maybe 10, 12. I mean, there's an easy way to find this out by Can't do it. Google Wee! But you probably did two a season, didn't you? Maybe I did. Yeah, maybe I did. Maybe 10, 12. I mean, there's an easy way to find this out by Can't do it. Google weeeee.

Can't do it. Yeah. How many did I do? Five. I wanna watch you in Rutherford Falls, Paul. Well, nobody's stopping you. Well, give me your login. Oh.

Oh. What if you tithed to church and watching Rutherford Falls was part of it? You did 14 episodes of Comedy Bang Bang. Wow, is that the record? And they blend together to be five. Is it a record, someone who's not a regular? Yes.

I.e. me. What if you said it was, he did more than you? That would be amazing. I mean like not me, not Reggie. There's a way to look this up. IMDB. And not one of the characters in the skits. Well, I don't know if that counts.

I don't know what, I just read that you did 14. I didn't see what, you know, they all were. I was always a featured character. And I didn't have if that counts. I don't know what I just read that you did 14 I didn't see what you know, they all were my featured character time to watch them all While we were talking here or during the pandemic. That's true For the beginning of Orange County, I guess we did New York seasons one through like seven because Mike had never seen it and wanted to watch it And I was like, this is my dream And is Mike into it now? Yes Hmm. He was always into it, but not fully with it, you know with history not Mike Hanford. Mike Hanford did more than you Paul

How's that feel? He did 19 episodes He played what character? It's what I'm saying. Well, then you did the most other than band leaders. So in your mind, in your mind on Comedy Bang Bang, what they did was skits. Yeah, skits. It's very reductive.

Little routines. I will say we got, someone listed their favorite sketch shows of the last 30 years, and we weren't even mentioned. How many fucking sketch shows have there was Kelsey Grammer presents? The sketch show mentioned. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. They said it wasn't funny.

So they did mention it. But obliquely, they said, you know, that one show that was not funny at all. I just assumed. Just so you know, that one's not on this list. So don't worry. Please read it. All right. We have to take a break. Bye. Aura frames. Oh, let's talk about them. What are they? First of all, what are if you've been living in the center of the earth with all the magma

and the underground mole people, maybe you don't know what an Aura frame is, but look, what are they? They're beautiful, wifi connected, digital picture frames that allow you from afar to share and display unlimited photos. You just through the app,

you send the Aura frame any photo you want and it comes up on the rotation. I love them. This is, we've talked about them on the show. This is the greatest invention. Maybe GPS is up there with great inventions in the modern era, but the Aura frame is the greatest invention.

The quality of the pictures, unreal. I love the algorithm that puts two photos together that sort of match. It's always funny to go like, oh, that one went with that one. I love how simple it is to set up. It's such a nice way to rotate through really beautiful memories.

It's super easy to upload and share photos via the Aura app. And if you're giving Aura as a gift, you can even personalize the frame with preloaded photos and memories from grandmothers to new mothers, aunts, even the friends in your life. Every mom will love being gifted an Aura frame

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Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That is A-U-R-A frames, AuraFrames.com. Use code THREEDOM at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. Hi, I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson, host of the podcast, Dinners on Me.

I take some of my favorite people out to dinner, including, yes, my modern family co-stars, like Ed O'Neill. I had friends in Organized Cry. Sofia Vergara. Well, why do you want to be corruptible? Julie Bowen. I used to be the crier. And Aubrey Anderson-Emmons.

I was so down bad for the middle of Miranda when I was like 18. You can listen to Dinners on Me wherever you get your podcasts. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Why I learned that that That commercial campaign came out of a short film Really? Yes, those same guys are in the commercial. Did that short film? Short and then Budweiser said how about we give you a truckload of money and you your ideas now ours and they said yes Budweiser, yes. Yesweiser, how much money? I think it was like $100 each. Whoa, shit. Those commercials are very memorable. They are, although you know what?

Bud had a campaign during the last Super Bowl that I think required you to remember all of their previous campaigns. Well, let's list them. Was up. Was up. I love you, man. Budweiser.

Do you remember that guy? The frogs, of course. The frogs. You have Joe Azuzu. Did he do Bud commercials? The Clydesdales? The Clydesdales. The Clydesdales.

You got the Where's the Beef lady. Okay, Scott? I feel like you're making a mockery of this. Of us listing Budweiser commercials? Of us listing Budweiser campaigns. You're making a mockery of this Listing the Budweiser campaigns you're making a mockery of the woman who said she goes she goes like Where's the beef and then she lifts her skirt and then there's Budweiser hanging under it There's a Neal Campbell one that was on during the Super Bowl That was one of it.

That was one of his big breaks. What did he do? That's why I hired him on Comedy Baby. You were like, I saw your really funny Super Bowl commercial. I think you'd be really good on my show. All I remember was something about someone getting hit in the head with a can. That's all I recall. That sounds hilarious.

He did good. He was very deadpan in it, as I recall. I don't laugh at things like that. I don't like it when people are injured. I would love it if something fell on your head right now. It would be funny. You should have like a trap, like a fake book or something hanging above your head all the time.

A fake book? What if I just slimed myself all the time? Oh, that would be so fucking cool. You have a fake book hanging, but then you do like reverse, so you like push up into it and then you expect everyone to think it just fell. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, would be concerned, right? If I was doing that, I think I'd just I'd probably do a wellness check. I mean, I just feel like, how's he doing? How's he holding up with the pandemic? Don't send the cops over here.

Oh, wait, it's time for a three-chair. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Oh, my heavens. I almost forgot we were having so much fun. Oh, my heavens. And now that fun stops. This is a game called Increasingly Verbo's and it is submitted by Prize Check. P-R-I-S-E-C-H-E-C-K. Maybe a play on price check. The object of the game is to complicate a simple sentence until the sentence can be complicated. No further! Player one provides the simple sentence until the sentence can be complicated no further. Player one

provides the simple sentence. Players two and three will then take turns complicating the sentence slightly. So here's an example. Do you like jazz? is the sample question. Then somebody has to say, has to enhance it like say do you particularly enjoy jazz music? And then the next person has to maybe say I would like to inquire about your opinion of the improvised form of music known as jazz and so on and so on. Mm hmm. Great. And I guess the winner is whoever can keep going.

The line. There's no winner and we just have fun. No, there has to be. There has to be a winner. And and yeah, I think it's the person. And it has to be me. The longest and it's Paul. I was once playing a card game with my niece. I think we were just playing war and I accidentally won. I was not trying to.

And then she said, let's let's play again. But this time make it so I win. And I didn't. Whoa. It's a good lesson. OK, we like starts. I will be happy to dispense the simple sentence. And we'll go clockwise on the Zoom, meaning Lauren than me.

See, to me that's counterclockwise. We have just learned with the Zoom. We should have dragged ourselves into the same positions. Which way? Okay, so who, so Lauren, drag yourself into the position where you're clockwise from Paul. I mean, I'll just go after Paul. No, no, you will drag yourself young lady.

Okay. Okay. Here we go. I think it's raining. I believe the sky has some precipitation. I believe the sky has some precipitation. I, in fact, do believe that the sky above us has an unusual amount of precipitation.

Lauren, that's me. Oh, I thought it was you, Paul. No. You mean you never get to go? I think it goes between two people. All right. All right. I mean, I get to go if you think it goes between two people. All right. Um, I mean I get to go If you guys aren't gonna be dicks about it in my estimation I walked outside dry and now I'm covered in wet due to the fact that the rain is coming down from the sky Precipitating from the clouds just changing the entire sentence

Is that does that with the game is like we don't have to say that? Sorry to be a stickler. What I... What was the first sentence? The first sentence was, I think it's raining. But I feel like we need to build on what the previous person does. I think rather than... Well, that was not specified, but I do think that you have to retain the original words.

I'm not... Look. Look. Let's try it again. We're not prize check here. let's try it again we're not prize check here let's try it again maybe prize check should have said what his intention is or hers intention yes I think the idea is that you want to still keep the words in the original sentence yeah although there was in the example the lab the most elaborate one

did not have some of the original words oh it didn't there was in the example, the last, the most elaborate one did not have some of the original words. Oh, it didn't? Yeah. So I think, I think it's a build upon the previous one, though. Yes, it did. I think you, you want to retain the central

idea. Okay. You know, you're, you're trying to communicate the same thing with as many words as possible. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna try it again. Do you want a new sentence? Yeah. I want a new sentence. I woke up too late.

Lauren, you might remember. I myself. So I'm supposed to keep in, I woke up too late as part of the sentence? No, I guess you're just supposed to like change. Make it a little more wordy. Keep the sentence structure, yeah. Okay. Start small so we can build.

Okay. I, I, what? What? Why am I scared? I... why? Why am I scared? Um... I... I woke up later than I intended. I found out that I had awakened much later than I had intended. I found out that I had awakened much later than I had intended due to my alarm clock not alarming.

I found out upon reflection that I had awakened much later than I had intended mainly due to my alarm clock not being set and not alarming. I found out that I had awakened much later than I had intended due to the fact that my alarm clock was not set, nor did it alarm, causing me great distress as I wrote arrived late. What I was supposed to be there for. I found out much later, much to my chagrin that I had awakened much, much too late, much later than I had intended, in fact, mainly due to the fact that I had not set my alarm

and it had not alarmed and I didn't wind up at the place. I forget what you said at the place where I had intended to go and it fucking sucked. Well, wouldn't you believe my piece of shit luck. I woke up later than intended due to the fact that my alarm clock was not set nor did it alarm Because I did not set it and so I fucking late I Think we're gonna stop there because Scott did include the phrase. I forgot what you said So I think that's a good indication that it's time to move on. Let's try it. Let's try it again

I'm gonna give you a sentence Or do you want to move on to a different game? No, no, no, I'm Let's try it again. I'm gonna give you a sentence. Or do you wanna move on to a different game? No, no. No, let's do this again. Yeah. Okay. The sentence is, my car. Sorry, I also think you're not supposed

to necessarily add on to the story. I think you just need to express the same phrase with as many words as possible. Okay, my car won't start. Me? Yeah, go ahead. My car, the one I drive every day, won't start. Unfortunately, I found out my car, the one I drive every day, won't start. car, the one I drive every day, won't start.

My car, automobile, if you will, seems to be under the impression that it is not supposed to start today. Unfortunately, this little thing over here that I like to call a car, you know, the one I drive every day, you get it. car, you know, the one I drive every day. You get it. It's under the impression that it is maybe not supposed to turn the engine over today, aka start. I firmly believe that of all the misfortunes that could befall a poor, benighted soul such as myself, falling downstairs, eating an apple with a worm in it, rain on my wedding day. The absolute worst, the unspeakable, if you will, has just occurred today. My car won't start.

We, the American people, understand one thing about ourselves. American people understand one thing about ourselves. We like to wake up every morning, work hard, put our children through school, hope that they better us in some way when they grow up. And unfortunately, that's not going to happen to me, because I cannot arrive at my place of employment today because my car, Well, it won't start. These are the times that try menthols when wishing to leave one's home, to

fly free, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations to boldly go and no one has gone before. Why, that requires some form of conveyance. And the form of conveyance I have? A car? Well, it done did me dirty this morning by not doing what it is supposed to do, i.e. starting, but in fact, doing the exact opposite of what I desired it to do, which was to not start.

I think Paul wins. If you want to try to go longer. All right. That was long. That was long. That was long. That was long. That was some long one more. Yes.

Give us a sentence. I read a book today. I read the pages of a printed book today. In my thirst for knowledge, I will admit I opened up a book and read it just today. In my never ending quest to know more about the world around me and those who have come before, I opened up the creased pages of a printed book today and read the words written thusly. My mother always used to say that I was born with the curiosity of a thousand cats and I think this tale will bear her out.

Just today, I saw a book and said, I gotta know what's inside that son of a bitch. And so I opened it and page by page I consumed the information within until finally there were no more pages. That was just today. I started the day having read no books and knew that by the end of the day, I would like to have read a book. So for that being said, I Are you on the bachelor? That being said, I pulled a book from the shelves of my home and I opened the book and read each word until it forms sentences and paragraphs, paragraphs into chapters, chapters into a full story,

which I then heartily consumed and now have the knowledge of within my brain. To thine own self be true, a wise man once said. And I agree with that wise man because if I can admit anything about myself, it's that I like to read books. And coincidentally, just today, I read, and I don't want to stress this too heavily, but this happened within the confines of a 24-hour period. Close parentheses. I read a book. This is going to be tough, Lauren. Can you do it? I once saw a poster. It's going to be tough to beat Paul at you do it? I once saw a poster.

It's going to be tough to beat Paul of this game because this is how he does stand up. I once saw a poster that read, reading is fundamental. And the de-mental part was crossed out, leaving just the word fun. Good backstory. And knowing that, I decided to try it for myself. I took what is known as a book, pages bound together by thread on the spine, glued into a hard cover and printed with the title on the front. So all who see it must know what is inside. I opened page one and began to read and my eyes could not stop going from left to right, all of the words written by this man

who came before me to write this piece of fine literature. And as I closed it at the very end, I thought I have simply read a book. When though? Today. Oh, very good. I think it's a tie. Wow. Yeah, that was really strong.

I also think that a lot of that was we were getting outside of the one sentence structure and getting into short stories. If I were to go again, I would have started Webster's Defines a Book. Oh, I was about to do St. Paul tells us. All right. Well, that's it for another episode of this silly ass show called Freedom. Can you believe it? We did it. We thank you for listening. Don't forget, we got merch, guys.

If you're in the mood for some merch, it's out there, including shoe charms that say various things. I pray those shoe charms have been restocked. By this point I hope so. By this point I hope it's there. It is. If they're out of stock by the point by the time people are hearing this I hope it's because they've sold out a second time. Me too. Really need that. So yeah you can get shoe charms for your Crocs or any shoe with holes in them Take a pair of shoes you already have and punch some holes in it. Yeah with a hole punch with a hole punch That's what it's for Every day, that's right

Also, we got t-shirts and we got something that you. If you buy something that you don't use every day, throw it out. Because you don't need it. Okay. You can just rent it on the day that you use it. So something you don't use every day, just throw it out, so like. Yes.

So if you skip one day of using a thing, into the trash it goes. Like a big knife. Into the trash and you just rent it. A big knife. I need to rent the big knife today. Rice cooker? Sure.

All right. All right.. Sure. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. See you guys next week. Thanks for listening.

Bye. What do weddings, Instagram and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. Sixteen grand somewhere in there, gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Dough. I'm X-Maya. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moolah baby.

The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we're talking about it all. The dough is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sam Smith and welcome to The Pink House. I love being in The Pink House with you. Join me as I talk to my friends and some amazing queer icons about their idea of home like Elliot Page, Jo Kim Booster and Gloria Estefan. Music was always my escape, it was my happy place.

The Pink House from Lemonada Media is out now. You can listen ad-free on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.