Threedom - Threevisiting: Random Ways And Means

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss hugging, scatting and crabapples before playing I've Got Some Bad Tunes. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at www.kinshipgoods.com/cbbwSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi everyone, let's chat about therapy. Therapy is essential. It's non-negotiable in your self-care routine. When life gets hectic with activities and projects, it's easy to lose sight of your priorities. That's when a therapist can be a total game changer. Like my therapist has been for me, and I really mean that. I love you, Dr. Linda. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Freedom today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-l-p dot com slash freedom. Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Yeah! Yeah! Wadiduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduaduadu I think it's great. It's made sense. Who was the first person to scat? Caveman. I think it was Jane Lynch. Oh dear. That was chilling. Welcome to Freedom, the Caveman podcast where we say everything was done first by the caveman. Yeah, it's our thing.

First man on the moon, caveman. Who took the first drink of water? Caveman. Caveman. Well, that's our thing. First man on the moon? Caveman. Who took the first drink of water? Caveman. Well, that's true. Who was the first to wear stripes? Caveman. Caveman, of course.

Do you? Imagine you're a caveman, right? And you're thirsty. Now I can't follow what you're saying. And you see it's... Lost me again, ball. Because now I'm a caveman and I don't speak English. Oh, no, I hadn't considered this How do I never get my idea? We'll never get her back. She's managing. She's a caveman imagine someone else is a caveman and

They're really thirsty and they see a stream like they post like selfies all the time They're really thick. Two C's. The idea of a thirst trap. Like. They got you. They got you. You fell into the trap. I looked at your abs.

What are you, what are you thinking? What are you, what are you? What do you guys what are you thinking? What, you gotta get better friends But there are but yeah every once in a while in the Explorer or whatever I'll see some like improviser and they're wearing a g-string Look with Scott if you had a fucking slam and bod, right? Yeah, I'll never know Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I wouldn't even go that far. I mean, if you're hot enough, you should just wear a G-string all the time. No. If you are hot enough, there's no reason not to. That's the thing.

You worked hard at it or you were genetically born with it or whatever. You know, it's like great. Maybe it's Maybelline. Yeah, it could be any of those options. Show it off. If it's Maybelline, show it off. I remember seeing a clip on YouTube of some UCB show. It was some team that Mary Holland was in,

and they did a scene where people showed up in bathing suits, and Mary was wearing a bikini, but she drew abs on herself. It was really funny. That is funny. Good stuff, Good stuff. Wow, that's really cool that Mary did something great. Okay, moving on.

Lauren! She never will be. Just want to reiterate, Mary Holland will never be on Freedom. That's a Freedom promise. We should, if we, if one of us can't make a show, we should have to cover our shift with someone else. That's weird. Like when you're a waiter, like if you can't make your shift, we should have to cover our shift with someone else. That's weird. Like when you're a waiter, like if you can't make your shift, you have to cover it.

It doesn't have to be about waiting tables in order for it to make sense. It's like a restaurant has these people that take dinner orders from the patrons. Well, here's the thing. Like it's like it's Cafe Cordiale. Like if I couldn't be there, then like I would get someone to cover my shift. So for that... You guys are so thirsty for Cafe Cordiale. I bet's like we're still around you would be in there every day It's like you know what I'm honest

Gross it was good. I If it were still around I would go there. I'm kind of disappointed. I never got to go there Yeah, I I went back after I quit what jobs have you ever been to after you quit? Oh my god, baby said been to after you quit? Oh my God. Have you ever babysat any kids after you quit? No, but I quit jobs. But like I said, I would only, every other job,

like I've mentioned, I would only work for like two days and then I would have so much stress about going again that I couldn't ever go and I'd have to quit. But then I would like sometimes go by the place and be like, eee. Like I would just be like nervous. Cause you can't go back in. They would see me and I can never go back in.

Of course. Yeah. Think of places. You ever buy a house? A house? No, you ever buy a house? You ever buy a house? You ever buy a house?

After you quit a house, have you ever bought it? Uh, what did you want to say? Have you, did you ever buy a hat at hats in the belfry after you left? Yes. But I didn't quit there necessarily. I was just reminded of this the other day. I left that, I lost that job when the place went out of business. And then like a year or two years later, they reopened in the same location.

No, same name. It was weird. Like the place was the band breaks up and then they reform different name just without you. That's happened to me. Yeah, they were trying to get rid of me. They couldn't fire me. I had an ironclad contract.

The Naked Postman broke up and got back together as Echo Star without me. That makes sense. Well, they took off. They're so famous. But I have gone, I did go back into Hats in the Belfry after I didn't work there anymore. Other places I got, most places I got fired. So did you ever go to a tower video after you?

That was one of the only places in town to rent a video. I did not. I think I went in there one time for some reason and I was kind of, I felt really weird about it. It was way after it was so long afterwards, but I afterwards but I remember a fake skin flap over your mustache a fake skin flap this guy's yourself that's how our video went out of business before I grew the mustache oh yeah that was was it like a race between you guys yes I swore if they go out of business, I will grow a mustache.

And you started getting little sprouts and then they were like, quick, shut it down. I remember after I got fired because I got fired for stealing. And after I got fired, I ran into one of the employees who I was friendly with someplace else and he said, how come you don't come by the store? And I'm like, I got fired for stealing. He's like, nobody cares about that. And I'm like, I know you guys don't, but I think the manager probably does.

Oh, OK. He wasn't in charge. I was specifically, yes, I was specifically told never to set foot in that store again. Really? Oh, yeah. You didn't tell us that part. Oh, yeah.

The manager said, don't ever come back here. Whoa. What if you came back the next day? I know. Like, did you need to tell me that? Yeah. Like, I'm not going to... You already have a shame. You know what? I get what's going on here. I just think there are people who would just like come back and just be like, what?

You know, they're just like weird ass fucking people, man. I cannot. That's true. You can't account for how weird ass people are going to be. You just don't know. You just don't know. You just don't know. People can be normal and then turn around and be weird ass. It's true, or they can be someone who's like really upset about it and come back and be like,

I'm actually still gonna work here or something. And I'm like- Still gonna work here. They start organizing things on the shelf. What are some of the places that you were like scared of? Not places that you worked at, but places you were scared to go in to because of it, like a mansion or yeah, sure. You can win an old rich man's money if you stay the night there.

Yeah. Let me think about that. I definitely will. The first thing that comes to mind is like the I'm sure I've told this story. It's not great or anything, but I've told it. I'm sure preamble. But when I was little, I was like, um, running around the neighborhood and I picked all these flowers and then they were in from someone's yard. And the guy came out and like yelled at me and I cried and like ran home and like threw them in a ditch.

and the guy came out and like yelled at me and I cried and like ran home and like threw them in the ditch. Threw the flowers in a ditch. And I was giving them for my mom. And I was afraid to go by his home. And then we also had our neighbor who was- Did you tell, I'm sorry to interrupt, but did you tell your parents about this encounter? I think I did run home and cry.

Because if you had just like gone back to the house and apologized, he would have been like, it's fine and you would have felt good about it. And you could have gone by there whenever you wanted. No, I don't recall anyone telling me to go back there. That's poor parenting. Well, when some old man comes in and barks at your ass. When he was barking, oh, you didn't tell us he's barked. Yeah, he was.

He was short, gray, had four legs. Whiskers. Big long tail. He must have been retired. He was home all day. But there was this woman who was, and I'm sure I've talked about her too, but she was mentally ill and she lived near us and we would sometimes cross through her backyard and see her in the window and it was always really scary because we had a couple encounters with her and tell me if you've heard this before she sent a Christmas card to everyone

in the neighborhood that said go to hell. Go to hell yes. And then she showed up on a rainy night and like said she and my dad are having an affair and then the police were. You did not I have not heard this before Oh, I remember I remember the go to hell either. I don't think I never heard that. That's incredible Okay, yeah, we got everyone in the neighborhood got a Christmas card from her and then you open it up and it just said go to Hell that's so good. I know I know I know it's kind of great and then she

Did it have a Christmas tree on the on the parents. Yeah, yeah, it was like a wreath. And then oh, this is nice. Oh, she lived with her parents. Written go to hell. Or she wrote that in not a printed go to hell. OK, no, she didn't pay for that. OK, and wrote all of them go to hell. And everyone, everyone in the neighborhood checked notes with each other and said, we each got them go to hell. And everyone in the neighborhood checked notes

with each other and said, we each got to go to hell. Or was that specifically directed? We were the only ones who did. No, but I do think other people, at least another house did, because it was one of, we talked to at least another person. So it seemed like it was going around the neighborhood. And then she, I remember she showed up one time

and I was really little and I was watching through the railing. And there was a really rainy night and she was getting taken away by the police because she was, she was harassing my family. Wow. And standing outside and yelling and like saying all this stuff. And she was arrested for having an affair with your dad. Well, I don't, I don't think, well, I don't know.

Your dad arrested too. Actually, I don't think so. I don't know. Dad arrested. Actually, I don't know if she was arrested, but I think she was taken home. Right. Right. But she was being, you know, she was it was not true. And I mean, I would hope, given everything I know about the situation, that that wouldn't be who he would start it up with. He opens the go to hell. Just like romantic music starts playing. that wouldn't be who he would start it up with. He opens the Go To Hell Christmas where it's like

romantic music starts playing, hearts come out. Hold on, she was saying that your dad was having an affair with her? Yeah, it was something, I can't, well I was little, so I don't really remember all the details, but it was something about like, that he was supposed to be with her, and that it was like a delusional sort of thing.

Was he holding up a sign that had a picture of a screw and then plus in a baseball or Yeah, that's how he always communicated. No, I don't I don't know. I should ask my parents the ins and outs of that of their side of that because I only remember from my perspective that there was just like, let's call him right now. It was fairly low key inside the house, but it was crazy outside of the house. Yeah Very kind of a storm She eventually passed away. I don't know how we all will

Yeah, I mean man, but I was always afraid of her house because you know when you're a little kid You just don't understand so we had a few houses in the neighborhood that were Parents just don't understand We had a few scary houses in the neighborhood. were... Parents don't understand. Parents just don't understand. We had a few scary houses in the neighborhood. There was one, there was a house on our corner that was unlike any other house in the entire neighborhood. It was this really, it was like, I wonder if the person who lived there was the person who built the house, because it was kind of modern.

It was on this big kind of property. Like they had the whole corner to themselves. We called it, it was alternately called Rob's Hill or Hippie's Hill because the people that lived there were like hippies, man. But they had a, the two big attractions there were, they had a crabapple tree where this gigantic- Why didn't they call it Crabapple Hill? Well, that's a, you're taking Rob out of the equation. I mean, it's his hill. Why didn't they call it Crabapple? Like Simpsons.

I think because the Simpsons hadn't happened yet and they couldn't do it. They never thought of it. But the crabapple tree was huge. We used to go climb there. We never, by the way, never saw the people that live there. Never, ever saw that. So it was on their property, like in their front yard, but you would still tree was huge. We used to go climb there. We never, by the way, never saw the people that live there. Never ever saw that property like in their front yard, but you would still climb in their tree or yeah, no, the tree was in their backyard. They had like, it was weird because their, their house did it sat on this corner. It was like this, this, this Hill around it, no fence. And so sometimes we would cut through to go around the corner.

Um, and we never saw anybody that lived there. But we would look in like, like they had a glass front door that was behind this, this foliage, we would like look in it and, you know, see this, it was like kind of a grand, cool house. I wish I wish I could have gone inside there at one point, but we never went in. So the crabapple tree, we would play in the crab apple tree, me and my little buddies, we would get crab apples and throw them at shit. Like throw them at cars and buses. Does anyone eat crab apples?

Like, is there a crab apple pie recipe? There is actually, yeah. Really? You can put crab apples in things. You can't, crab apple, I don't think is a thing you can bite into and be like yum yum. But I think you can use it in cooking. The other attraction was, they had a big garage,

like a multi-car garage, and inside was what was a dog, but to us was a terrifying monster. Because I think it was like a, it must have been like a wolfhound, something like that, like a big dog, because it would jump up to the window and it would bark like crazy and jump up to the window. So you only got a glimpse of it, you know, like this just like fangs and this horrendous noise.

But it was like, we would like creep up to it to see like how far you could get before the dog would go crazy. But I remember, I remember in my, I clearly remember the, the realization when I, when I realized like, oh no, it's a dog. It's just a dog. Yeah. Oh, I'm bigger than it now. Yeah, probably. Yeah. But it was, it was, it was so scary. And I think it was always dark in that garage. It was weird.

I mean, maybe you were only passing by during the day and they were both working or it was a single guy who was working or leaving his dog there. I think there must have been multiple people who lived in that house at one time. And that's how it got the name Hippies Hill. But it was like, we would go, we would- It was like Moon Children.

It was like, yeah, Moon Children probably. You know what, Scott? Now that I think of it, I think it was Moon Children. That's what, Scott? Nothing I think of it. I think it was moon children. That's what it was called. You just forgot. But we would like sled off of that hill. It was not like it was not like super steep,

but it was enough that you could get one of those like round coaster things, you know, and you could slide down. You could slide down the hill and it would take you all the because we lived on a on a on a grade and upgrade. It would take you all the way down the street. So you could like it was it was great fun. Never saw it.

Why would never anybody come out of the house even to say hi? They were clearly OK with it. Have you looked at that house on Google Maps recently? I have actually. Yeah. Because I was trying to I was trying to tell Janie about it. I will. Yeah, I'll try to. It's it's kind of hard to get the sense of it. I really wanted to see the house itself,

but there is so much greenery around it. You really can't see it. Especially if it's ever been on sale and they have pictures from the inside or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love that. I would love that. Or whatever.

Yeah, I should look up the, the address was hard to find because I couldn't remember the exact address. Right. But I'll get on the case. I'll get on the case. We had a house that we called the mansion. That was like, I have to look it up too, because now it probably would be so small, but it was the biggest house in the neighborhood for blocks and blocks.

It felt like it was two stories maybe and just like bigger than, and I think maybe the style of it was, it was like an old kind of Southern mansion or something like that. And we all called it the mansion because it was just the biggest grandest house out of, out of the neighborhood. And they once for Halloween, they, they really did it up. They like, all of the adults, like four of them all dressed up like mannequin, like, like mannequins on the porch sitting in rocking chairs that you thought were lifeless dummies. And you would go up to the front and be chairs that you thought were lifeless dummies. And you would go up to the front and be like, oh, they're just dummies that they put together.

And then all of a sudden they would come to life and like start to come at you and stuff. It was wonderful. Did any of them get punched? Like on YouTube. I remember somebody who's like dad sitting outside the front of one of the houses when you're trick or treating. And then like, you think it's like a scarecrow and then he's like, and it's like dad sitting outside the front of one of the houses when you're trick or treating and then like you think it's like a scarecrow and he's like, and it's like the scariest

shit and like thinking about the guy in there is funny. It's fun to think about the guy in there. He's just sitting there for hours just like waiting. I know because you have to be ready. You know what I mean? So like what do you are you literally just sitting there? That's psychotic. I did that once. That's kind of what I mean. It's not fun to think about them now. When I was too old to trick or treat like around the 13 or 14. I would

just sit in the bushes and jump out at people like as they came up. But then I'm just like sitting in the bushes for like 30 minutes. Weirdo. All right, Lauren. What? What the fuck? I look away for one second and you're like, what the fuck? No attention's on me. I'm scared.

I'm here. Did you ever trick or treat a year past the time when you were supposed to and it felt weird? Yes. Yes. I mean, even like, I think like fifth grade started to feel a little bit weird, but then like, definitely sixth grade was too old. Junior high is probably too old.

Seventh grade is too old. But that's when we would go smashing pumpkins and, you know, be crazy together with the with the boys. Was that because you're in Chicago and smashing pumpkins is from Chicago? Yeah. So we knew we had to do that to keep the band alive. I remember we used to go guns and roses. Yeah. Are they from Philly? No.

But it was exciting. Like, once you like once you became a little too old, then you're like, now we hang out on Halloween. And that's like a different kind of... Yes, exactly. Scares that turn into makeouts. The embarrassing Halloween party I had. Nobody came?

I don't remember if I've talked about it. So I was in seventh grade and my parents were like... Stop. Oh, yeah, it was your birthday. No. And it was Halloween themed, wasn't it? No, it was Halloween and it was Halloween themed. I thought you had a Halloween themed birthday. What? That's an amazing idea. I would like a Christmas themed birthday. I love that. My birthday's in September. I would like a Christmas themed birthday. I'm going to make my kid do weird shit like that where it's like you only pick other holidays

to be your theme. You cannot have your own theme. It has to be something that already exists. Are you plotting out all the weird things that you're going to do with your child? I have a whole binder and it's really evil. Wait, Scott. So seventh grade Halloween party, your house farted in here. Oh, gosh. Oh, wait. I hear two.

The hell is that a new zoom? Turn your mic down. She looks so relaxed. I'm going to be and see. That's a dog. You just ran. So I was it was seventh grade. It was Halloween. A dog you just thing where there was a... They went to this karate school called Cobra Kai. They got a cauldron and my dad got dry ice and made it like bubble. Wow. And we bobbed.

Good for you, dad. It was like bobbing for apples in this cauldron, you know, that was bubbling with dry ice. You did tell us this, but keep talking because I don't remember. And it was everyone had to dress up and it was the first time that I had ever realized that what we were doing.

Yeah, keep talking about Instagram. It was the first time I ever realized how juvenile like this was and how uncool it was. And I felt mortified. And my parents went to such trouble to make it like spooky but in a kid's way. And it felt with fake cobwebs and stuff. And I just felt really judged by these new kids, you know?

Like, oh my God, we're at this like stupid party. We also had a murder mystery party, which was a lot like that too. Yeah, you probably got beat up at that one. What I, I think though, what's funny is like that, at that age you think, oh, this is corny. But if you went now as an adult and somebody did that in their house you would think like oh, this is love it 13 to

18 year old period or something like that where it's everything is uncool. Yeah, there was this person who's been making up used to be friends with who had an aunt who would have this like cool Halloween house party. This was in LA and like Los Angeles for the listeners. It was just a huge, huge property and then they go all out. So it was like for kids and adults with this big, you know, just stuff everywhere and like activities and it was so cool.

This is a David Spade's house, right? Oh my yeah. His aunt. His aunt. David Spade's aunt would throw this party. I can't imagine David also like putting anything like that together and being like, here's my Halloween party. I like to picture people's relatives looking exactly like their female relatives looking exactly like them in a wig. Yeah. Like David Spade with old lady makeup on and a gray wig with a bun.

She's so... Just sounding exactly like David Spade. There was back to places that you're scared to go into and I don't think I've talked about this. I pray I haven't. Have I talked about the 7-Eleven that I avoided for years? No, I don't think so. Not that I'm aware of.

Okay, well two weird things happened. First I'll talk about the other weird thing that happened at the 7-Eleven, which is the only time I think I've ever called the cops in my life. Yeah, start with the other thing. Yeah, the only time I've ever called the cops in my life, I believe, was Coolop was at the 7-Eleven by our house, which is a block away from our house, uh, getting something and some guy started talking to her and asking her questions

and then followed her back to our place from the 7-Eleven and parked outside of our place. Like just watching it. And so I took down his license play called the cops, all that kind of stuff. Okay. So that was the weird thing that happened in seven 11. But so and I'm very embarrassed by this story. So my my local seven 11, I would go in there all the time. And on Thursday nights, the new entertainment weekly would would be there. And so I would always like, take a trip there on Thursday night and get

an entertainment weekly. Got to get the fresh Jim Mowen's hot sheet. And so the guy who worked there, I can't remember his name, but he was a cool guy and I would always talk to him. Fonzie? Yeah. Yeah, that's him. He would always hit the jukebox.

Yeah, exactly. Several in the bathroom. No, he, and he was like, Hey, are you in the movie business? Cause I was always getting in there entertainment weekly. And I was like, I mean, kind of, I guess I was at the time. And you're like, I'm in the business of watching them. Exactly. That's what it felt like. But he was like, well, you know, in my country where I came from, I made movies. And I was like, oh, wow, is it really? He's like, yeah, I'm a director and a writer

and I'm trying to make them out here, but I was kind of a big deal in my home country. And I was like, that's so cool. And he's like, let me loan you this movie I made. And I was like, that's so cool. And he's like, let me, let me loan you this movie I made. And I was like, okay. And so the next time he, next time I came in, he had this DVD that he gave me of this movie. I can't remember what it was called. My porno

starring me. No, but it was like, it it was, it was a drama and I read reviews of it and it was like, it's supposedly a really powerful drama from India and all this kind of stuff. Okay. And it sat there on my DVD player for a year at least. Oh no! It felt like homework to me. You can never go back. And I, every time I would go in, he'd go, you watch it?

And I was like, no, not yet. And then after a while it turned into, can I just have it back? Dust, it disappeared. Oh. Oh no. And then, so then I was like avoiding the 7-Eleven. I would sometimes pull up to the 7-Eleven,

see he was there and turn around and drive away. And then did you not return it? Finally, I put it, I was like, You threw it to the window. I can't do this in person. I put it into a manila envelope and got there during the day when he wasn't there and said, hey, could you give this to this person?

And they said, sure. And then I still don't think I ever went back to the 7-Eleven. And this is a block away from my house. I could never go to it again. Yeah, you would never be able to go. And you never watched the movie? I never watched the movie. I'm sure it was good,

but I just never found myself in the mood to watch like a subtitled, like super dramatic thing. You know, I don't know. Anyway, that's my- I definitely have places like that. That is my shame. I don't know. I think that, but I can't think of them right now, but I know that there were places where I like did something weird and I was like, I can never show my face

in there again. Um, I don't know what should have been the studio that we recorded. I'm just, I should be so embarrassed that I never show up to your off again. You never show it to three to remember again. I can't believe I did all never show up to Europe again. You never show up to freedom ever again. I can't believe I did all that and told all those stories. There's probably places I shouldn't have gone back to, that I should have been more embarrassed to show my face in there again. Just many bars where I got just sloppy drunk.

Yeah. You missed those days, buddy? Oh my god. Not that. I can't. I, when I think back on that, I'm like, how am I alive? Yeah. Like, it was dumb. Like, I remember, I remember like, going to the Cat and Fiddle and then like, closing it down, being shit-faced drunk and walking home to my apartment. And that's, yeah, that was a, kind of a bit of a hike. down being shit face drunk and walking home to my apartment. Yeah, that was a kind of a bit of a hike.

That was like a 20 to half hour, 20 minutes, a half hour walk. And like I'm like staggering, like that's how drunk I am. And like anything could happen to me. Like if I if any if any criminal saw me like absolutely. Well, this guy for sure got it. Got to jump this guy. Or you could be job by a car yeah absolutely absolutely I took a lot of I took a lot of dumb chances I've never called the cops out on the street no I wish I've never called the cops I don't

think I have either I don't think I ever have yeah there's usually not a reason to yeah I mean like I've never been in a situation where it was like, oh my god, this guy, you got to find this guy that did this thing just now, you know, I guess is the only time I would. I guess when I was young, we called the cops because some guy tried to pick me up on the street. So he like too heavy. What if a guy was just going around trying to lift people?

Actually, I kind of remember, maybe I did one time call, but I don't know if this happened to me or somebody else and I'm just pretending it happened to me, but it was, in my memory, there was a guy who was running across the freeway and it was like terrifying. Like he was crossing like many- I guess recently I called 911

because there was a guy walking on the freeway in the second, not the right-hand lane, but the second to right-hand lane on the freeway. Just like in the actual car area. In the actual, like just walking and like I slowed down and, and you know, like drove behind him for a little bit so no one would crash into him or anything and called 911 to get people out there. And they had already received calls about the guy. Yeah. And they were sending someone calls about the guy. Yeah. And they were sending someone out.

They were like, what else you got? Anything else juicy happening that we don't know about? We're covering that one, bud. The guy who tried to pick me up on the street. I always remember being so, uh, not embarrassed, but, uh, regretful that I didn't get his license plate number. Like the minute he drove off, I was like, Oh, I should have gotten his license plate number. Yeah. He like drove up to me. I'd never seen the guy. Hey, sweet thing.

He's like literally on the street. I live. Hey, good looking. We'll be back to pick you up later. You're thinking of the Simpsons Paul. No, he was just like, hey, do you want to ride to school? Oh, you're a little kid. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never seen the guy who wasn't a neighbor or anything like that. And so, you know, thanks. Thank God that I, you know, of course, was like, no.

I had a friend who was like, who wants to go to school? Asked to get into people's cars. I'm on my way to work. Multiple times. Give me a ride. You had a friend who what, Lauren? Was asked to get into people's cars multiple times. Like as a kid. Geez, same person or different cars? Different cars.

Were they car shaped? They were car shaped. And one came down her street and tried to get her to get in. And it was like, oh, your mom told me to come get you like that kind of thing. And then there was another time that happened. I mean, it was just like-

Yeah, the mom told me to get you, oh God. That's so creepy. You gotta tell kids pretty young about this kind of stuff, right? I mean- I was just gonna say, I don't remember being told that stuff, but maybe I was too young and I don't remember. I don't know whether I was told by my parents or by school,

but it's something you gotta get to really early. We had to go in the auditorium and watch an old video of how perverts talk and then- You filed it away and said, I'm gonna do comedy someday based on this. I'll use all of these. This is how perverts talk, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. How'd they know? But I remember that. Use all of these this is how perverts talk welcome to comedy bang bang

But I remember that I remember excuse me My mouth I Remember that I'm learning like that you could have a code word with your parents So like if if someone was going to pick you up, that that person should say this word. What was your word? Do you remember? I don't think we like made a word. I pretty much would just know I shouldn't go with anybody. Yeah. Right. Occasionally my friends, they weren't even my friends. People I knew at church would, would,

because I walked 35 minutes to school in junior high would like pull over and say, get in the van. But then other times I would see the van pass. Henry Rollins? No, it was nice. They were like, none of the kids, none of the kids liked me, but they, but I went to their church. So occasionally. So it'd be like, get in the van. Yeah. So, but, but then other times I would see the van pass me by and I would know they would be like We're not stopping for him today. Like what is this an everyday thing?

Like once a week maybe yeah, all right, we have to take a break speaking of We do this once a week. We take a break once a week. Here we go. Bye I We do this once a week. We take a break once a week. Here we go. Bye. I think there's a reason they call it a health journey, right? It's because these things take time and any program you're on should not be selling some one size fits all fix to all your nutritional questions. Weight Watchers has been the trusted authority in this space for decades. It's because they want to help us all towards building healthier habits. And now they've introduced the Weight Watchers Clinic. If you qualify, you can access doctor prescribed

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is it Paul? Really? I've made the pronouncement. You said that so seriously. Because therapy is a serious business. That's right. Well, in our busy lives, mental health often takes a backseat.

That's right. That's right. Without a car seat. Well, who knows what I mean. Whether it's work, family, or personal commitments, finding time for yourself can be tough. Yeah. Therapy though, I tell you, it can make a big difference. It's self care, but it's non-negotiable.

It's a self care non-negotiable. Exactly, it's non-negotiable for your self care. When your schedule's packed with kids' activities, big work projects and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip, but then you feel like you have no time for yourself. You need non-negotiables like therapy. It's more important than ever in a time like that.

Can I give a personal experience? Yeah, I guess. In therapy... Tell us everything you've told your therapist. Okay, you ready? Yeah. In therapy, I've learned so much about coping skills and setting boundaries, and I definitely am a huge fan

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to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash freedom. And we're back. And Lauren, over the weekend, you send an email to all of your friends saying you were taking a shower. What is that? Oh my God.

Well, I had a little baby shower. You had a baby shower. I had a little drive-by baby shower and it was very nice. It was like boys in the hood. It was just like that. That was the theme. No, it was very nice and it was, it was very special to feel like, you know, there's a community. It's been such a weird year, obviously. I

don't know. Yeah, I know. Cause you had a normal year where you just do whatever you wanted the whole time. But, you know, it was just nice to see a lot of people that I haven't seen in a long time and to feel like they're all still there. Because I mean, you know, I think I feel I've stayed pretty connected with my friends through social media and whatever. Like I feel like I'm aware of what everyone's like up to. But it's so different when you're just running into everyone all the time. Yeah. There's just like that kind of like the friendship is sustained by you just like seeing each other all the time at the theater and whatnot.

Yeah. It made me realize I want to see people, I want to make more of an effort to see people because I realized, you know, how much Janie and I have been homebodies before quarantine. And we're like, we're happy to stay at home. It's not like we hate going out, but we, I really did miss seeing so many people

and it made me think like, well, I want to have people over to my home, you know? I want to like sit around a table and share a meal and talk and laugh, you know? And I want to make an effort to, I want to really make an effort to do that more, to make it a regular thing. So it's not something that you just keep thinking like, oh, we, I want to really make an effort to do that more, to make it a regular thing. Yeah.

It's not something that you just keep thinking like, Oh, we should have them over sometime. And then you never do it. I know. Well, how was the barbecue went to Paul? You know what, it was a real, it was fun, but it was kind of a challenge. And it was a, a strange return to normal life that I hadn't thought about because it was a small party about 20, 25 people and it was half people that I knew and half people I didn't know. So it was just enough to give me like a little anxiety, you know what I mean?

Yeah. And that feeling of like, I'm sitting with somebody that I don't know super well, but I kind of know, and I felt the, not pressure, but I felt the obligation to like keep the conversation going. Yeah, which you haven't had to do in a while. Which I haven't had to do in a while. But what I realized is, oh, here's what I'm gonna do is, I'm going to keep asking questions,

so I'm not the person that has to keep talking. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'll let, and I'm fine to like listen to the person and be engaged and everything. It really is. Yeah. I remember when I like figured that out, you know, like in my early twenties, I was like, Oh, if I ask questions, like the conversation is way easier. If I ask questions about this person, I don't give a shit about. Yeah, they'll keep talking and then it's almost like we did something.

And honestly, it's like now you have a perfect icebreaker, you know, is to just ask people how are they feeling about things, you know, don't ask them how their year has been, but ask them how are they feeling about things opening up and everything like that. Because everybody kind of wants to talk about it and talk about their feelings about it. But I did feel like, and then when it was time to go, it was also, it was an afternoon thing. And so like, I'm not a big fan of afternoon parties. There's like a standing in the sun aspect to it

that I don't enjoy. It makes me tired. And so when we were getting ready to go, then it's like, you get stopped by people that you know, and now it's like everyone you see is somebody you haven't seen in forever. I know. It's so weird. Yeah. But I gotta say, I felt like everybody was on the same level of understanding, you know, everybody got it.

Everybody was like, yes, I understand you're leaving. I'm not going to like keep you. It's good to see you. You know, so it felt very, um, it felt very welcoming and, and easy in that way. But yeah, I did. It took me a while to process like, Oh, why am I feeling this way? And it's like, Oh yeah, I'm at a party. Yeah. I haven't done that yet. I mean, the, the shower was like a step, a dipping up for the toe because I was like having a lot of conversations, but it wasn't everyone at the same time. And that was kind of nice. And I had like a little moment with everyone

which worked well. And I feel like for a shower, that's typically what happens anyways, that you kind of like have the conversation with each person about how it's going, what's going on, what are you thinking about? And then that would be anyway. Are you sad you didn't get to do

the traditional shower stuff of like whatever game? I've been to the diaper game. Yeah where you have to guess the shit. I What is I was a do you put candy bars in diapers and you melt them and then you have to guess what they are Who started this? Oh the can't know some some of them are candy company Started this game. Some of those baby shower games are so weird though. I mean, like I don't really miss that part of it. I did a Zoom family shower, which was really nice, but I was sad leading up to it that I wouldn't be able to be with everyone.

And that was kind of hard. I was just like worrying that I wouldn't feel connected to everyone. But my sister-in-law organized it and it was really great. And she put together like videos from friends and family and like a PowerPoint, like, you know, activity sort of thing. Strangers from like a bunch of weird guys. It'd be so awesome if someone was like, we made this video for your birthday or whatever. And then it was just strangers. That's cameo. And you're like, hey, I really care about you. You're like, who are all these people?

Hey, your friends tell me you were born. Yeah. And then I, you know, open presents that my family had sent and stuff. And it was really, it actually felt really great. It felt as normal as it could, given the circumstances. Can I tell you, I've been to a couple drive-by birthday things, showers, whatever.

I kind of like it, and I think it should stay. A handful of people said that as they were coming through. This is how everything should be. It's like, they had a scheduled window of time to show up. It's fun. They were like, got to talk for a bit, have fun, and then they drove off and it's like low pressure. It was very, very easy.

And I do think that- I think you should install a drive-through window at your place. Yeah, yeah. And then if you want to come by and say something. I mean, I think it's nice also just because of this year of like not really socializing. It's kind of the perfect amount of socializing.

Yeah, you don't want to- You don't have to talk to a hundred people. Like, you know, everyone who goes to the party doesn't have to talk to everyone else. It's not like a whole thing where you're like, now I have to go and be there for an hour or whatever. It's like, you just get to have a little moment of connection, which is nice. But yeah.

I went to a backyard barbecue the other day and it was probably 50 people or so. And the minute I got there, we were some of the last people to arrive, I think, because it had been going on for four hours before we got there, I think. And immediately people started hugging us. And I was like, no, we're not bringing this back.

I don't know, did we learn nothing? Oh, I don't have a problem with that at all. But Scott's never liked hugging. That's true, I'm a hugger. Yeah, I just like, I don't have a problem with that at all. But Scott's never liked hugging. That's true. I'm a hugger. Yeah, I just like, I don't know. And it wasn't people I'm especially close with. That's the other thing. That's part of it.

You know what I mean? I feel like when this happened and then you were, you know, we were kind of reflecting on it, like maybe six months in, it was like, I was always hugging everyone. You know, like I did have that feeling like, I'm not really a hugger, but I have become one because everyone does. You're a social hugger because of the climate. Yeah.

Yeah. Everyone does it. And it's like, but then there's like times where you're like, I'm hugging someone. And I feel like we, neither of us want to be hugging, you know? And it's like, why are we doing this? And it felt to me like people were hugging because it's like, we're out in the world, come here. And I was like, okay. I mean, and there, and there were some people

that I technically would hug in any situation, but I was just like, I thought we were getting rid of hugs and shaking hands and stuff like that. And then the first social situation I'm in, people are immediately grabbing me. It's like, I'm... I really want to get rid of handshakes. And then the last couple of times I've seen people,

I ended up shaking hands. Yeah, I met some guy the other day. I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to not do that. Literally the first day out, the first day that Kulop and I were both vaccinated, we went over to our friend's house for a backyard. I have to stop you for one second, and this is very embarrassing given how long we've been doing this. Yeah. Who's Kulop?

Oh, shit. I'm sorry, and I also have another question. It's going to sound really insane. You keep saying like me and I, I just don't know who you're talking about. But I went to just a small thing with like eight people. And one of the people had a boyfriend that I had never met before.

And he immediately stuck his hand out and was like, Hey, nice to meet you. And I was like, dude, first day, I had never met before. And he immediately stuck his hand out and was like, Hey, nice to meet you. And I was like, dude, first day, I gotta shake a hand. First day. Yeah, it's a lot. I'm not fully vaccinated yet, but I look forward to being fully vaccinated so that I can go do some things though.

And the things I want to do are really, they're really dumb. But I want to go are really, they're really dumb. But I- Yeah, sure. Like I want to go to Target. Yeah. See a movie that a guy there who works there made. I have a screening at my home of that movie. No, I want to go to Target really bad. I want to like go get my hair cut and like not be, I haven't been to a salon this whole time.

I've just gotten haircuts through random, you know, ways and means. Mm-hmm. So, through work, for example. Random ways and means. They cut my hair at work because I hadn't cut it in so long. So on Good Girls...

Those were the best when I was doing the Comedy Banking TV show, to know that I could get my haircut, like, for the entire five years that I was working on that, just like never having to go to a- It's really nice. And well, it's been really nice during this time. But, and then I had like one haircut on my porch,

like in July of last year, which was so sweaty. And you know, it's just not fun. But I'm looking forward to like just doing little things like that just by myself even. Like it's not even about like how I want to get together with everyone so bad, which I also do. But I'm like, I just like running all my errands and taking my time and not really thinking about anything.

Coolop this morning was like, do you want to go see a movie tonight? At a theater? And I was like, well, I don't think there's anything you want to see, because only A Quiet Place Part 2 is out. And she's like, no, I can't see that. So... But just the idea of that was very... Is it just called A Quiet Place Part 2? Is that the title? Probably. I can't see that. Yeah. So, but just the idea of that was very... Is it just called A Quiet Place Part Two?

Is that the title? Probably. I don't know. A Quieter Place? An even more quiet place? A loud place? It's a quiet place, but the A is a two. We fell in love in a quiet place.

Why didn't they live in the waterfall? Well, this is the thing. Build a nice Frank Lloyd Wright style house above the waterfall and you got something there. All you gotta do is, look, I know there's aliens that are attracted to sound. Just build a Frank Lloyd Wright house by the waterfall. Yeah, the building part won't attract anyone. You won't die.

Did you guys watch Mare of Easttown? Or you all watched that shit? No, I only watched the first episode and then everyone's tweeting about it. And I'm like, well, do I watch the whole thing now? I've scammed every tweet. I've avoided reading. That's how I felt about the King of Tigers or whatever he was. He was the Tiger King.

The King of Tigers? We cared about him so much for like two days. We cared about him so much! The quarantine had just started! People needed things to do! He was in our hearts! Um, I, I sub-tweeted the, the, about the ending of the show. And a couple people got mad at me because they were like, this is a major spoiler and you ruined it for me.

And I'm like, if you... When you tweeted that, I was that, I was wondering, I did see your tweet and I thought, okay, I can either let my mind go wild and think about how this implies that this, this, this happened. And then I thought, look, odds are I'm not going to watch this show. Yeah. But if I do, hopefully I'll have forgotten this tweet by then. And you know, yeah, I still remember it. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget that tweet. But see, you were about to say that if you haven't watched the ads on you, but it's like. No, no, no, I'm not gonna say that.

That's not what I was gonna say. Lauren. Oh, you were gonna say you're a dumb idiot. Lauren Dorothea Allegra Lapkus. Wow, not bad. Castle. I was not, what I was gonna say was, if you were able, if you just saw this tweet

and you put all of that together, that is first of all, that is a knock against the show. I was, what I was going to say was if you were able, if you just saw this tweet and you put all of that together, that is first of all, that is a knock against the show. And also you're a better detective than mayor. Yeah. I thought when I first started watching that show, they called her mayor because she was the mayor. I expected it to be like Mr. Mayor. That is a thing that was spelled M-A-R-E.

That's a thing that drives me nuts about the show is that it's based on a, an accent pun. Oh, it is? No, it's Mayor Elizabeth. What's her actual name? Her name is Mary Ann. Mary Ann, Mayor. Yeah. No, they're just like, hey, Mayor.

Like, I would call Mary Ann. Like if I were. So they call her, they call her mayor for short. But but titling it Mayor of Easttown is like that's how people in that region say Mayor. Right. Well, that's what I thought it was. But it turned out not to end in the final episode where they're like, Mary Ann, hey, Mary, I was like, oh, that's why it's called Mayor of Easttown. Even though they called her mayor the whole time. I got it.

You what? But I wondered if it was like, they were calling her the mayor. No, they were. Even her mother was calling her the mayor. It's like her nickname because she was so good at basketball. They were like, wow, you should be in charge of basketball.

You should be the mayor of basketball. You never put it together. You're being disingenuous. You're being disingenuous, Scott. And why are you rubbing your face? I got a little tired from this. Mayor of Easttown. I love Kate Winslet, though, and I thought the accent

she was doing was really well done. She did. I thought everybody did a good job with the accents. I really do. I thought not everybody was perfect, but she was. She was really especially being from another country. Like that was that's not what I'm saying. Like, that was... That's not... That's what I'm saying. It's like, that's a very specific accent. I thought Quicksilver had the best accent, I thought. I thought he did great. Evan Peters did great.

Yeah, he's awesome. All right, well, we only do this once a week, but we have to take a break. -♪ CHUCKLING Are you a pop culture connoisseur with strong opinions? Join us on Pop Culture Debate Club, a new podcast from Lemonada Media and the BBC. Each week, two pop culture experts battle it out to convince me, Aminatou So, that their opinion reigns supreme. What is the greatest sports movie of all time? Who made the most delicious on-screen meal?

Tune in every Thursday to find out. Pop Culture Debate Club is out now wherever you get your podcasts. From Lemonada Media and the BBC. I'm Laurie McGraw, a leader in healthcare, technology, and innovation. I'm on a mission to inspire more women to launch and lead successful business ventures. Welcome to the Inspiring Women Leadership Lab, brought to you by Lemonada Media. Each week I'll talk with business visionaries to get advice, tips, and wisdom for women leaders. The Inspiring Women Leadership Lab is out now wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back, I'm Paul. I'm Scott. I'm Lauren. And it's time for one of our famous three-chirs. That's right, these are world famous, people around the world know them. What they are are little games. Are you mispronouncing creatures? No, no, no, it's three-chers.

It's like a feature, but there's the three of us. Three-chers, it's a game and I'm Paul. And what we do is we play a game and sometimes people send in games like Luke Benson did. Thank you, Luke Benson for this game called I've Got Some Bad Tunes. Luke, I'm your father. Luke, I'm your Benson, Robert Keohan.

One player, here's how we play. Luke, I'm your Benson. What have you turned to the camera? Oh gosh. And then the theme from Benson plays, but it's Darth Vader going through the- What is the theme from Benson? In the Benson theme.

We have done, we have talked about this before. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. but it's Darth Vader going through the... What is the theme for Benson? about the Benson theme song in my life. Really? Yeah. I swear to God, and you can double spank me next time you see it. What show was Ted dancing on? Cheers. No, what show was it? Not Benson. Becker!

Becker, and that was the theme song. You're thinking of Becker. Jimmy Pardo had a very funny scene on Becker. Yes, he did. So did the Sklar Brothers. And my friend Aaron Reed danced to the Becker theme song for one full hour on YouTube. The Sklar brothers posted like a video from a bar mitzvah

they were at when they were kids. And they were exactly the same. I loved it so much. Exactly the same, yes. It was wild how timeless they are. Yeah. All right. So everyone shut up because here's the name of the game.

It's called I've Got Some Tunes. One player chooses a scenario where someone has to deliver some bad news. Another player chooses a song or tune that the other players will know. The third player has to deliver the bad news from the given scenario to the melody of the chosen song. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it?

Got it. So who's doing what? Okay. So I'll say I've got some bad news. Paul. Okay. So you're the person doing performing it. Okay. So Paul, you pick the situation. I'll pick the song. Okay. The situation is, uh, there has been a massive fire. Your house has burned down and your car exploded when it caught on fire. Okay. And the song? What's my song? It's Paradise City. Okay.

Hey, Paul. Yeah? I've got some bad news I need to share with you. No, I like good news. This is bad. Hey, what about me? Are you talking to me too? Sure, why not? You do live there, so yeah. I'm his roommate. What do you mean you live there? It has something to do with our house?

Well... There's been a fire and everything's burned everything's gone your car's gone, too it exploded Wait everything gone. What do you mean the whole house? Your clothes are gone. Your kitchen is gone. It was gone. Your boy is gone It's gone But the car is still there isn't it car exploded with the fire went off

God including the car All right. Well, go ahead, Scott. I'm sorry, you have another question? Should we call insurance? There's no point in calling insurance. It's a worthy loss, Gus. Not even a point. Don't they want to know?

Our house burned down. They're not going gonna give us anything. Don't they wanna know? Our house burned down. They're not gonna give us anything. Wait, do you know something about how it started? The fire started when I walked right by and I flicked a match and it all went sky high. Your house is gone.

I canceled your insurance last week. Why? I don't know. And it always got high Is gone I canceled your insurance last week How'd you get our password I figured it out when you pass one big dick All right proof of concept that was fun we can continue playing the game. Okay. It is not what we dismissed. I will name the song now. You're doing the song? I'll name the song. Okay. And then that means that I have to do the situation

because Paul's already done the situation. Okay, so Paul, you'll sing. Okay. It's gotta be a song I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The situation is you're telling someone that you have to amputate both of their legs. And the song is Longest Time by Billy Joel.

Hey, Ding Dong. What's up, Blaise? Hey, Paul's at the door. Oh, answer it. Oh, okay. Hey, Paul. Hi, Scott. Hi, Ding Dong.

What's up, Blaise? Ding Dong, I just got your test results back. Oh, yeah. I'm wondering about those. And I have some bad news. Can't you do house calls now? Yeah, I do. You just wanted to hear your famous catchphrase. Can't you do house calls now? Yeah, I do. You just wanted to hear your famous catchphrase, didn't you?

Well, I say it on the phone too, but I'm glad you're here. You might want to sit down. Okay. Because that's all you've been able to do for a while. Get used to it. What do you mean? I have got some awful news to tell. You will soon lose both your legs as well. They must be chopped off and I have gone to chop them off

because your legs are being amputated. Oh, I do have two chomp off your legs. I do have two chomp off your legs. I did not want it to come to this. That you would need crutches now to piss. I'm very sorry. Your legs are coming with me. I have got two chomp off both of your two legs. I'm very sorry. Your legs are coming with me.

I have got to chop off both of your two legs. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You're going to do it now? And you're taking them with you? Now I have to chop off those two legs. Okay, wait, wait, let me stop you, let me stop you. I know that much is happening. Why is this happening?

Yeah, what were the test results? I mean, what specifically? You have diabetes type 16. It is the worst case I've ever seen. Your foot won't be enough. I've got to take the whole leg. I am going to chop up both of your two legs Sensitive how I deliver news that was a way. How did this start when was the first person you ever delivered news to this way?

when I was just born out of the I looked all around the delivery room I said to my mom, this is how I deliver news So you had better get used to this thing. Okay, so now- Any other questions, ding dong? No, no, I'm good. Just chop them off and go. This is it.

Okay. Okay, now Scott has to sing. You have to do the situation. Okay. And you cope with the song. Okay. Yes. The situation is that tonight you're going to choke on some bubble gum and. Psychic prediction.

I mean, psychics can deliver bad news. It's true. It's a psychic and they're telling you. Yeah. You're okay. Okay. Okay. No, you're telling... I have some terrible news.

I'm going to choke on some bubble gum. Oh, I'm telling it to one of you. Okay, got it. And they're going to choke on bubble gum and they're going to die, but it's going to be like in front of a crowd of people who thinks they're kidding. Okay. Got it. And the song is The Star Spangled Banner.

Okay. Paul. Psychic Scott, what are you doing here? Okay, and the song is the star spangled better, okay Paul Sike and Scott, what are you doing here? Ding-dong? I God there's no easy way to say this but Holding that crystal ball. Is this a house call? You know, it's not real crystal. It's glass. Oh Okay, it works though. It works though. It's a glass ball. It's a glass ball. It's glass. Oh, okay. It works though. It works though.

It's a glass ball. It's a glass ball. It's actually a bowling ball, weirdly enough. It's got the three holes right here. Oh, I see. Yeah, I'm going bowling after this. It's not what I use for my premonitions, but I did have a premonition

and I wanted to tell you guys about it. Fuck. Well, it could be good. Oh, Paul and Ding Dong. What's up, players? Tonight, something's gone wrong. You will chew some bubble gum. Having split it in twain.

Each taking half a piece and chewing it all night. I'm so sorry, what brand? Gum? Dentine is the brand of gum. You shall chew it till 2am. Sorry, what flavor of dentine? Spearmint mixed with peppermint is a variety pack. Do they make- oh so wait, we're splitting? It's one piece of gum that is both spearmint and peppermint one of you takes half a piece of peppermint and the other takes off a piece of spearmint

why don't we each just why are we chewing half the gum looks too big for you to fit into your mouth so you did I lose the Where am I oh say can this start okay? The gum looks too big for this to fit inside your mouth So both of us the gum looks too big. So you put it in your maws and you choke the fuck out. You put it in your maws? Like M-A-W? Yeah. Yeah.

Like our gaping maws? Like our gaping maws, yeah. Okay, I just didn't understand that word, but yeah, so that's all true? I mean, I don't know. Half the shit that I come up with isn't true. So it might not happen. So you admit you come up with it. It's not something that's really.

Yeah, I come up with it, but then it comes true. Hey, you're talking. Do you want me to start over? Will you please take the gum from us? Take this gum out of our house. Oh, Paul wants me to take this gum out of the house. Are you having an aside? But if I do that, then my premonition might not come true.

I am so ethically torn. Should I change this future I've seen? If I take this gum out, will he go buy his own gum? No. And then there's ding dong over here. You told me I'm going to choke on gum. I'm not going to buy more gum. Just kind of zoning out while I'm singing to myself.

Should I try to intercede and save both their lives? Yes. I will not take this gum from their house. No not today. I've always wanted them to die And my wish is coming true yay Playball well your wish is coming true. How interesting yeah, oh you guys heard that there was something that you wanted to happen But then you just happen to have a psychic premonition about it. I've been thinking about this a long time, for the longest time.

Well that's how you play. I've got some bad tunes and we'll probably do that one again. That was fun. Thank you Luke Benson. I am your father. All right. That does it for this episode of Freedom. Listen, if you want to get some of our fantastical merch,

go to podswag.com, look up Freedom Stuff, and it's all there, unless it's sold out. And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at Freedom USA. And if you wanna submit a feature, like Luke, I Am Your Benson did, then write to freedomusa.gmail.com. And that is how your life will get good.

And I'm really engaged with the fans, so I love it when fans follow. Scott loves our fans. Scott is always the one who mans the Instagram, and you will see that. It's very evident. And I know fans love that. So we really appreciate you doing that, Scott.

It's the only place. I don't even do it on my own social media, but it's the only place where I can really connect and get real with the fans. Yeah, it feels like that. It feels like that. There's strength in numbers. Safety in numbers, yeah. Anyway, stop listening. Stop listening to us. Stop listening. Stop listening now. Don't listen or you're going to hear this.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah. All right, bye. I'm Sam Smith and welcome to The Pink House. I love being in The Pink House with you. Join me as I talk to my friends and some amazing queer icons about their idea of home, like Elliot Page, Joakim Booster, and Gloria Estefan.

Music was always my escape. It was my happy place. The Pink House from Lemonada Media is out now. You can listen ad-free on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm June Dayanne Raphael. And I'm Jessica St. Clair. costs. to exploring the depths of grief and loss, we are just two best friends who process life together and with you guys. Discover our secrets to finding joy amidst the madness and get ready for unfiltered conversations about life, love and everything in between. And nails, we talk a lot about nails. Now, community is everything to us at the Deep Dive. We believe in the power of connection

and the strength that comes from supporting one another, and we would love to have you with us. So be sure to join us every Wednesday on The Deep Dive from Lemonade Media, wherever you get your podcasts.