Threedom - Threevisiting: Slouchy Slurps-a-Ton

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss working out and high school drama in their high school dramas. In their featured segment, the three hosts try to guess the names of vaguely described movies.

3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Hey, that's how we start every episode of this show with the Entourage theme. Welcome. Welcome to the show.

I'm Scott Ockerman. I'm Paul F. Tumpkin. I'm Lauren Lapke. And we are doing this show. Welcome to our fourth episode. And we're happy to be here. And nothing would deter us from doing this. And thus we are here.

That's what we're like the mailman. Exactly. We're like the podcast mailman. Weat, snow or fire. Fire. There's fire right now and LA. That's true. I don't know.

I think the fire would stop you. Yeah, they've never mentioned fire. Like if your place burns down, do the post office have to throw mail on the cinders? Yeah. Yeah. Glean yourself up. Welcome to the show.

Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. And this is the show where we just sit around, join. That's right. And occasionally we'll do something interesting. So hopefully you'll be interested in spending a little time with us. We're just three friends and we wanted to do a show together. Yeah, that's so wrong about that. That's it. That's all we wanted to do a show together. Yeah, so what's so wrong about that?

That's all we wanted. If you've got three friends, you can do, no. If you've got two friends, you can do a show just like this if you want. Who amongst us does not have two friends? Well, don't hurt anyone's feelings. What do you mean? Maybe someone only has one friend.

And they can't do the show. Okay. I'm not making a judgment. These are the rules. These are, this is the format that we're trying to franchise. Now Lauren, you brought a banana. I did. And you are, what are you going to do with it?

Is it the peel or I'm trying to, I'm trying to get a glimpse in there. Do you, do you have the banana within it? Yeah, I did. It's got a banana inside it. It's not just a hollow peel. No, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't have a hollow peel and so up the end. So it looks three dimensional. It's it would be three dimensional. I know you're going to say that. It's a banana. Um, I mean, what do you want to know about it? I'm going to eat that bad boy. As soon. You know, I've had my two clementines. I also had breakfast.

What's your daily schedule? You have you have, I've had my two clementines. I also had breakfast. What's your daily resume? You have breakfast, then you have two clementines, and then you have a banana? Oh, well, just one second. Goodbye, new listeners. Okay, go ahead. I like to have a steady, steady mode. What's your workout regimen? I could get into that, because it's my new thing that I do.

Oh, is it real? That's like a typical question that women don't like to be asked to do. Oh, well, I've never worked out in my life until last March. What happened? I started working out. I went on the dumbbells podcast, which is Ryan Stanger and Eugene Cordero's podcast, all about fitness and stuff. And I just talked about how I don't do anything.

And I didn't really care that I didn't do anything. I was pretty proud of it my whole life, but kind of wanted to work out, but I just had no motivation to do it. And they talked to me about it, and then Stanger gave me some tips and some things I could do at home. And I just started the ball rolling for me. That was actually the winter of a four last spring.

So he told you to roll a ball? Yeah. Yeah. And I started rolling that ball. Let me tell you, my arms got ripped. But I got, I started working on just very, like a little bit at a time here and there. And then when I got back in town,

cause I was out of the country for a few months after I did that podcast. So I was like barely doing it. I committed and I have been working out two to three times a week, taking 60 minute classes since March. I've done like 80 something classes now. It's December.

What kind class do you take? I do like bar classes like. Like dance. Like the deep bar method. I've done a couple dance things. But then I or I do like pilates and stuff which I just started. But it's really fun.

And I never would have thought I would enjoy it. And I really like it. And I can see the difference. Like I have muscles and I've never had muscles. Really. And so it's really cool. It's really cool. It's really cool.

Do you also feel better? Yeah, and I feel like my posture's gotten better and like, I don't know, there's a lot of, okay. We, you know that Paul and I call you slouchy. So nice. I just like, I'm in a nickname. When slouchy coming back. Slouchy!

But yeah, it's cool. I think I never understood that understood why it would feel so good to do it before. I thought people were annoying when they talked about it. And I was like, what ever do it ever you want. And now I feel like I get like why. Once you start to see a change in yourself, it's really fun to keep pushing it.

Right. Let me ask you about this banana. Yeah. Because it seems a little on the green side is that how you like your bananas. I like it. This is actually pretty good. It's a little bit green but mostly yellow.

I have to say I bought this banana at Target which is not my preferred place to buy fruit. But I was there and I just needed it. They're a sponsor by the way. I needed some random things. They were there by Christmas dinner. Through bananas in my cart, whatever. And.

Oh, whatever. Throwing a bunch of bananas. The bananas in my cart, whatever. And. Oh, whatever. Throwin' a bunch of bananas. The guy at the checkout, like put the bananas in the bottom of the bag and start piling, like cleaning supplies. He'd be like, random shit on top of it. And I was thinking they must really not be used to, like, they have a whole grocery section,

but it feels like it wasn't like something they were trained on. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's my hope. Have you seen these small targets now? My mom was very excited about it. Oh, yeah, like the city targets are like,

are they city target? I don't know. I guess one was built by your house and she's like, it's a target, but it's not a whole target. It's a smaller target. It's like a targetino. Yes. Oh, I don't know if I've seen that.

And I haven't seen it either. I think I think my dad called it something like not Tarjet, but like Tarjet, I can't even remember. I love Target. Do you really? Yeah. Because of childhood memories or just you adult experience. I like, I like going somewhere

where I can get everything that I need. Like it's pretty, I end up spending so much more money, which is like whatever one says about Target, but I go there and get everything. I love drug stores and get everything. I love drugstores and office supply stores. Yeah. I love them. Do you buy office supplies a lot? Are you just like, would you like to see the order that it implies of like look at how everything is organized? I just like I love seeing all the supplies. It's like here's all the things that you need and they're here.

You love imagining the owner of the's like, here's all the things that you need and they're here. You love imagining the owner of the store like making his order list of like, oh yeah, we need more racers. It's like, I need a pen. I have plenty of pens. I like that. I love those stores too.

They remind me of going back to school, which is a good feeling. Going back to school for me was like, I liked the idea of buying things, like getting notebooks and stuff like that, pencils, but it was also, it was bittersweet because I was going back to school. If you guys could go back to school for a year, like high school. Like knowing what you know now.

I don't even know if you'd be transported into, like just say that it's adults. Like every adult gets, there's a high school for adults and everyone gets to go for one year. I don't know what, in what situation this is, but just like everyone's an adult, it's not like you're sitting around, but you get to do all the things that you didn't high school, you get to do prom,

you get to have electives. I'd probably have way more fun. I think I probably learn more. You know, I would learn more. I think I was thinking the other day that I could like, I think I could crush the SATs now. What was your score? I think about that sometimes too.

I don't wanna share that. No way, my score wasn't horrible, but I didn't study ever. I didn't like prepare for that. I got 1170 on that SAT. That's good. But I didn't study and I liked that. Like I got 28 on the ACT without studying at all.

But I think if I were to do it, I could do it now and try and care. Because yeah, you'd have a goal, and now we're used to actually achieving goals. It was back when we were young, it was like, oh God, goals. But now everyone has to say what they got on those tests. Right, yeah.

So go ahead. I honestly, I don't remember what I got on my SATs, but I remember I did pretty well, but it's the same thing, I didn't really study much for it because I was always good at tests like that. Yeah. I was always good with just deductive reasoning,

eliminating options and that kind of thing. But yeah, I don't remember. I got 1390. That's good. And I never, the other thing about high school is I realized I never actually read a book. I think on one of our previous episodes, I was talking about how I just carried every book I needed

and I never went to my locker, but I also never read a book in high school. And you mean like literature, like books you were assigned? Books I was assigned, I never read them. I just would, I would pass the tests by like listening to the teacher talk about them and kind of like gleaning what I needed to know about them. And then I would write a report.

Did you try reading books and then you were like, I don't want to do this? The books that they were giving us? Oh. I'm sure I'm interested in them now. Like, you know, I don't know, 1984, a heart of darkness. I don't even know if I still could read it. But, you know what I mean? I just wasn't.

I was interested in doing my thing. I was doing my thing. Did you read books that you chose at that time? When I was in high school not read, although I did read plays and stuff because I was doing theater I probably I probably you know what when I went to college when I was 20 When I went to my theater college the my Shakespeare instructor was saying was said to me You're obviously very well read because I when I was young my theater college, my Shakespeare instructor was saying, it was said to me, you're obviously very well read because when I was young, I read a lot. And then I really didn't from junior high to high school. You talked a lot about encyclopedia brown. Great brain. Obviously really well read.

But but did you say bugs mean me? I know who that is. But but I thought to myself, oh gosh, I'm just faking it. And so then I would go to like, use bookstores and buy all the classics and then try to read them. And so I have a whole, you know, bookshelves filled with just like classic novels of which I've read half. Like I got really into Nabokov or Nabokov, however you say it. And I got into Nabokov.

I got into Kafka and Dostoevskins. But then I would try, I've had this giant book of Plato for years, for 25 years that I bought and used bookstore. And I finally recently was like, never gonna read it, throwing it away. Yeah, that's not interesting to me. Sometimes it's nice to get rid of those things you know you're never going to crack into,

because then it stops becoming like a weight on you. Like one day I'm supposed to do that. I eliminated a lot of books from my home because I realized I don't, I'm never gonna read these again, and I don't care about displaying them to people. So we have one book case in our home, and it's got like, you know, a lot of books by, there's a number of books that I haven't read yet

that are there, but then also once I got a, you know, with technology, like reading an actual book, flesh and blood book is I haven't done it in such a long time. I prefer it though. I do too. I prefer reading. Yeah. Then on the iPad, although when I'm on vacation, the iPad is something, but I don't know. I don't know. I really feel like I read a lot more when I have the actual book, but and it also feels like a break from the phone and computer and stuff where when I'm doing the iPad, I still, like, ruining my brain. Yeah.

I don't know. Which things would you enjoy doing in high school that if you could do it again? Like, would you do the exact same things? Like, what were some of the electives learned that you used? Theater. So, would you do theater again? Or does that seem like work now to you? I think I would because it would be fun.

Like I think and you'd be a star. I mean the best and people will go. She's on the horses. I was voted best actress in my yearbook. Really? Voted best actor? Oh good. Wasn't I wasn't voted anything?

Most likely to do for cotton. I did place. I went to a theater. I did place. I did place. I went to a theater high school, the high school of the arts, my senior year. Oh, well then that's, you have like enormous composition. You went to best actor school.

Oh, so, like we're all the best actors. And when was I the lead in Chicago, Billy Flynn? Yes, of course. Wow. Where did I do? Oh, I heard you talking about this on a off-book. Oh, did I? Oh, did I?

Yeah, you sure did Talk about all the leads he got it is a weird show to do when you're in high school Everyone's in their underwear. Yeah, that's weird. I am surprised at some of the shows that that schools do Yeah, they're just like kids shouldn't be doing this. Well my school had great actors I was never in any of the real plays I auditioned for every single one wait But you got best actors. Yeah, I was in I was never in any of the real plays I auditioned for every single one. Wait, but you got best actors that you were never in any of the... Yeah, I was in our like yearly show that was written by students and directed and performed by students.

It was like a, basically a sketch show. And I was like a pepper alley type thing. No, it was like a real show. It was a real show. So people would come to it. Yeah, it was like a, it's been going on since like the 50s. What's it called? Yamo.

Well, it's based on the Northwestern version.s. What's it called? Yamo. Well, it's based on the Northwestern version. Space on the Michael McDonald song, Yamo Be There. Of course. No, it's based on the Northwestern show, which is of the same thing like WAMU or something. Okay. All right, that was spelled.

Y-A-M-O. Okay. And what's WAMU? It's like the Northwestern sketch show that we were like in the same town, so it was our version of that or something. I don't know why. I'm west of the Mississippi,

so I have no idea where he's talking. Okay, I don't even know either. But it was our special show, because I directed it my senior year. Oh, really? Why didn't you win Best Director then? Because I wasn't the best. That wasn't an option.

No, but it was a very special show. But so all the kids like to come to that show. And so I think more, I probably students went to that show more than to the other shows. It was probably more community people seeing that. And you were in it as well as directing that. Yeah, I was in it every day. Would you remember the bits that you did?

Were they skits? Yeah, I was in one where I was like a really bad school photographer. And I just like made everyone look all full on their pictures. Did you write, did it was this a written thing? It's written by students. So when I was in it, I didn't write it. And then when I like as a senior, I wrote one thing I think.

Got it. Was it open to all classes or just the upper class? No, everyone. OK. And were the sketches funny like that the kids wrote? Yeah, we always thought it was a great show. Yeah. I mean, so this year was the 60th anniversary,

and I was invited to go back, but I couldn't go because I had a friend's wedding. And I was really excited to go. And I sent a video, but then like, like there are a lot of people who come to my school who are famous, like Jesse Mueller, who's like on Broadway. And she was, Carol King in the beautiful musical. She's a Broadway star.

She's investigating Donald Trump for the whole. Their whole family is all actors. So I think they took over the show. Um, which is great. But they, uh, but I was sad to miss it because I would have loved to see the current class too. Because I have no idea.

That's the thing with outside of my age. You know what I mean? After I left my school theater programs, I would maybe a couple of times I would go back for a few years after and they always looked kind of small and rinky dink, but when you're in them, they feel giant and like, and I think I mentioned this on off-book,

like the shows, the two shows that I saw before I got into high school with, that were at the high school theater department that I wanted to be in. We're like, still I remember them being the best shows I've ever seen. Me too. Well, it's what I was going to say. I remember the actors in my school being amazing doing that street car.

That Henry Higgins and my fair lady. I remember him being the best actor I had ever seen in my life. And I just, I'm so curious. Like, I think they were legitimately good. Like a lot of them went on to do like things and whatever, but like I was just transported. Like, I was in the studio. But were they truly amazing? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. We can never know, I guess. I thought that I was amazing when I was in those plays and watching them years later on VHS. You have tapes of them? Yes, I have a few tapes of mine too. Oh my God, I don't have anything. I got to digitize them because I want to watch all of them.

I have a lot of my choir performances. Oh my God, I was choir too. So obviously looking back at it, I'm like, oh, I'm just like every other high school actor where talking very slowly. Well, I think I feel like when you're in better than other people, when you're in high school, isn't it just like whoever can overcome their shyness to be outgoing?

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, but there was, there was a difference between, you know, people that could, you could tell when somebody was a, was a good performer. Right. Like those standards. Yeah. You know, someone who's like a professional bad actor.

Yeah. You know, like, oh, wow, they're saying their lines, they're projecting, they seem like very specific about what they're doing. But I've never been invited back to my school for any alumni things, right? Because they've done alumni shows and stuff like that. That's crazy.

But here's why I think, because it was a Catholic school, I'm very clearly not Catholic anymore. I've never given money to the school and I don't care about the school. Oh, that's very good. But I still want to be invited. You should be excited. I think that is weird.

So I can turn them down. And get well and give you an opportunity to not turn them down. Right. Maybe you'd be like, well, huh, maybe I should. I just went back to my high school of the arts a few months ago, actually, and gave a talk. Really? What was it about?

How to suck? A dick. Then the cops showed up. Quick, quick, quick. No, it was just, yeah, I was hanging around my whole high school to talk to him. He was talking about the suck of dick. Here's how you do it, kids.

So apparently you slurp a tongue. That's my, that's why I would go, you slurpetone. That's my, that's my, that's my lesson. Oh, slurpetone. You slurpetone. Slurpetone. Slurpetone. Slurpetone. Slurpetone is not a bad title for this show. No, it's just, I got to ask to just, and it was weird because when it doesn't have a certain

topic, it's like you end up just kind of talking about like, oh, I don't know, here's how I got into show business. Maybe you could do something like that or whatever. Oh, wait, and what was the question that everyone wanted to answer to? Well, I've gone to a few high schools. If I get asked to, I'll go to it. I actually went to Harris Whittles High School

this last year too, which was great. And most of those people had very specific questions that they have thought of in advance. But anytime I go to these like just general high schools and talk to people, they don't know who you are, they don't care, they're like, oh God, at least it's not the teacher talking, but this is boring.

All they ever want to hear is like, so do you know Kevin Hart? Right. And do you? No. He's the one person. Although. He's the one person who don't know. The one guy I've never met. Do you know Tom Cruise?

Yeah. He's my best friend, Lauren. Oh, um, creeped out. He's jumping around on the couch by me. Oh, braw bra. I would go back to my school though and do a show. Yeah, yeah, I would think it would be fun. I like to be like an alumni show. Yeah, if I could do it with the people that I did it with them. school though and do a show. Yeah, yeah, I would think it would be fun. I like to be in an alumni show.

Yeah, if I could do it with the people that I did it with then, you'd have to read or hurt so much fun. You'd rehearse for like a day or something. Yeah, I was like, I was sad I couldn't go and then, and then I was a little bit like, okay with it because I thought it probably wouldn't live up to whatever expectations I had for it. But then I was like, what do I even expect?

I don't know, so it was a back and forth. You should go next year. Just go, I'm here. I'm here. I like there's no celebration. I would like to see my old teachers. I like them. I did this really weird thing. I used to work at Chin Chin in the Valley. I don't know. Paul, if you ever came by the rest of the studio. No, I did. Yeah. I did not. We were all like sort of close like all the managers and all the waiters were all kind of close. Like we would have a Christmas party and everyone would go and everyone would sing karaoke. We would always hang out together and all this. So our favorite manager was having a birth either his like 50th birthday or his like anniversary with a company, I don't recall what it was.

So we did, we had a surprise party for him where we put on a show. Oh, wow. So weird. You shared so much. We loved him. I actually went over to his house once and with like three other people

and watched the odd couple because he was like, you only know, you only know the TV show, you got to watch the original film. I'd never seen the original film. So we went over, he tossed how suck. So I was waiting for it. No, but we, I remember me and a bunch of the other waiters did the song, Officer Kruppki, from West Side Story. Oh, do you put in his name?

Uh, manager, yeah. Do you put in his name? Uh, manager, mill. I think it was simply because he liked the fact that so many of us had done musical theater, and he was like always walking around singing songs or whatever, and we were like, well, do a song for him. That's cute. But the weird part about it was that two of the people involved, one of them had had, it had just come out

that he had started sleeping with the other one's wife. And it was a big scandal. And then I would think that one of them would drop out. They still did the show. They still did the show and we rehearsed it together. And like during the rehearsals, they would like split up and walk away from each other and like not talk to each other.

And they'd be like, hey, Officer Crump, yeah. What are you doing? It's insane when I think about it. Like it's one of the craziest things and tension-filled and just so insane that I've ever been a part of. I mean, that's professionalism. I mean, you know, didn't miss a performance.

We only had one. The show must go on crazy. Yeah, truly insane but also that These guys weren't together a restaurant like I got a fuck that guy's wife. Yeah, I can't not do it Well, she worked there too. Yeah And she was like monsters Anyway, what crazy stories do you have?

Well, we all fucked each other in my plays. Of course. Of course we did. I mean, that's what high school drama is all about, right? Well, I wasn't part of that. Well, there was a high school drama with my high school drama. Oh, really?

Really? Did senior year, we did, what the fuck was the name of it? South Pacific. Mm. Cause we did a big musical. I got to watch that man ride out of my head. I really liked that song when I was little. I love it.

You loved it when you were little, that song? I think maybe my mom's singing that song to me or something. It's very, I could see a kid latching on that. You got to be careful. He told me. Scott standing on the table. What am I slurps a ton? Slurps a ton. Slurps a ton. Slurps a ton.

Slouchy slurps a ton. And the big weird thing that happened was, this dick, Jesus Christ. Sorry, go ahead. There are two male romantic leads in that show, thing that happened was dick. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Go ahead. There are two male romantic leads in that show with each other. With each other. There's a young guy and there's an older guy.

And the always the second leads are always the quirky leads, right? Aren't they? No, not on self-specific. It's not specific. Oh, okay. There's the interracial couple who's like the leads leads, right? Well, I'm trying to remember the summer-channet evening. The younger people, the summer-channet evening is Emil de Beck, the Frenchman.

He's right. And Nelly Forbush, who is an American, a white person. And then the younger couple is the interracial couple. It's Leot. Leot is the name of the girl and then the guy is like lieutenant somebody. I was hired to do that for a summer and I went to one rehearsal and it took me an hour and 15 minutes to get there because it was down in Orange County from here and I bailed on it and never called this and say I was like, they're so wondering.

What role did you play? I think I was in the chorus or something. I think I like, they made you, it was one of those things where they make you audition, say if you don't get a lead and you audition, you still have to, like you have to be in the course. You have to be in, like you auditioning is you auditioning to be in the show.

Oh, no. And you can't just not get a lead and then bail. Oh, hell no. Wait, wait, what happened? So they cast in the role of Emil DeBeck, who is this, you know, friend of the French man. Swaped in the hole, yes.

A teacher from the school. Oh, I think you told me about this. I think we talked about this, but it's going. And so there's a scene where we're talking, we're talking, we're talking. Well, no, I think we talked about it at different things. Oh, we talked about this, but we're going. And so there's a scene where we're talking, we're talking about a different thing. There's a scene where these characters have to kiss. And so there's this married teacher who's kissing this high school student.

That is so wrong. Like that's insane, right? It's like obviously don't, like this poor child, first of all, creepy man can't be anything less than creepy. Yeah, you are even committing to doing that. So the female part was double cast. There were two girls.

It was a senior in a junior and I know the see-able cast even. Oh, they they double cast all these I know but still like not his part. Yeah, and I was I remember being mad because it's like we weren't given to it. Well, yeah, we weren't allowed to audition for that.

That's so weird. And it's like to a kid. It's like, go do community theater or something. Let the students, who's only going to be here. And wasn't it a Catholic school? Was it like a place? No, no, no. Okay.

It was a lay teacher. Okay. That is so nasty. Yeah. And of course, the guy like stuck his tongue in her mouth. He did it. Yes. Oh, what? Yes. That's crazy too. So nasty. Yeah. And of course the guy like stuck his tongue in her mouth. He did it. Yes.

Oh, what? Yes. That's crazy too. Even if you were seeing South Pacific and Emil de Beck was sticking his tongue in Nelly forbishes mouth already and they were adults that would be weird. It's just like obviously you just hug her or something like you don't mean like the audience will. Yeah.

Don't get it. Or kiss her on the cheek. When I think of it now, it is so that's demented that they allowed that to happen. That's really, really sick. That is insane. It's nuts. When I was 14 and I got into the drama, congratulations place that I wanted it into.

The drama program. I remember I had a Shakespeare scene with my friend Holly where we were supposed to kiss at the end and We never rehearsed it, you know, and it was it was obvious and she was I I remember her being like beautiful and I'm like a dork or whatever and I remember we we did it and I was and we did the Shakespeare thing and then we had to kiss and it was very we had never done It was very uncomfortable. I remember my drama teacher like calling me out and going, well, yeah, you're obviously very uncomfortable with the kiss. Let me show

you, let Dan get up here and show us how easy it is. And this older student, who by the way, I'm not quite sure how much I should get into all of this. Had to kiss the girl. The older student gets up, the older student is gay, but saying, but you know, in the closet at the time. He's 60 years old. Most of the people in my high school drama program were gay and in the closet because this is the 80s. Yes.

Mine too. And they immediately, by the way, I'm not like calling them out. They're still in the closet. They like a year later after the graduate, it all came out. And I would see them and they're like, oh, by the way, I'm getting, you know, but they're all in the closet. And so, but and this teacher, the other part of it is, is this teacher is like, he's, he's, and I've talked about this on another show, but he was kind of like, sexually harassing me as well during the show.

Oh, no. Oh, right. And like basically. Oh, you're gonna need it differently. Ah, that's sweet. Is this why people are silent for so long? Ah, ah, ah. So you were the cover of time.

No, but he was, he would like take me over and like kiss my neck and shut like this. Oh. And say I was special and all this gonna end. You're so special. Yeah. Anyway, but. I'm sorry, that is, I'm sorry that happened to you.

He's really hideous. He's dead now and so I win. Go stop my brain. There you go. But so, so. So you have this. Oh, keep stomping. You have this gay closeted teacher.

He keeps stomping, baby. I like it, daddy. Oh, yeah. So you have this gay closeted teacher. He keeps tapping baby. I like it daddy. Oh yeah. So you have this gay closeted teacher like calling out me a straight student for being uncomfortable kissing, I'm 14 and kissing a friend and a classmate. And then calling on a student who is gay

and I think he was also sexually harassing him or something. I have no doubt. And saying like, hey, go show him how it's done. And this guy gets up there and he just takes the girl in his arms and gives her a real passionate kiss, like stage kiss. And then breaks away going like, yeah, it's that easy. It's like, he was a jerk too. Yeah, that poor girl is like, I guess everyone's

dull to practice time. Yeah, it's just so gross. It's a jerk too. Yeah, poor girl is like, I guess everyone's dull to practice time. Yeah, it's just so gross. It's a dimmented one. My school has, I mean, whatever it's public knowledge, there's a teacher who has been called out for such things. But like what's more my time, but yeah, he just got called out. Oh, okay.

I got an email about it. Wait, so they're emailing, they're emailing everyone. They go about. Well, Lauren, you could talk. No, they they emailed, like just saying, like the course, they don't stand for anything like that. He hasn't worked there in X-Bot of years. You know, they were just speaking about it just so there was a statement. But I had heard about it through the grapevine because some of my friends were to the California raisins, don't you? Yeah, they were like, there's a rapist from the school.

Bob, Bob, Bob. Some of my friends were older and they had him. So yeah. Yeah, I mean, I've talked about it on this show, we had a bunch of those situations, not on this show, on my other show, we had a bunch of those situations with like, yeah. It's crazy.

We had a bunch too in my school. There were a few teachers that had for years. There were teachers that creeped me out. You could never really, they didn't do anything. I feel like if we're weird. I feel like if you, and my parents never prepared me for anything like that, but I feel like you,

do you have to talk to your kids and say like, by the way, chances are good. There's gonna be a teacher who's gonna creep you out and do such and such a thing immediately tell someone. I know. Because I knew it when like I would be, it was drilled into us when we were walking to school. Anyone, any stranger offers to give you a ride. Yeah. Say no. That happened to me. I said no, call the police, you know, they tried to track him down, all that, but you know, you never hear it about teachers. Like, by the way, if a teacher ever does this.

I know, and they can do things that are so like, they, you could just write off as being like, oh, that was weird, you know, but you know, when you look back, it's like, that actually is really inappropriate. Or like, that made me really uncomfortable, but I didn't know, I didn't have the language to like, you know, yeah, because you're experiencing it

for the first time and no one is told you about it. Yeah. I was very naive back then. Of course, I was raised with religion as well. And I think by parents who came from an age of adults are to be trusted. You know what I mean? And they're always in the right. Yeah, and I'm sure we got some talk

about beware of strangers or whatever, but I don't remember that. But I never got into any situation like that where I had to even, where it even came close for like a weird thing to happen. But I do, when I think about it now, it's like there's so many fucked up adults that you have, that you encounter in your life and your child that I, but I don't, it wasn't like the idea was not even, it wasn't even an idea that a teacher could do something wrong. Right, but it was happening for sure.

I don't know, do you spoil your kid's innocence or do you prepare the line? It's so hard because, well like my nephew told, my nephew's in a stage where he lies, like he's, he's four and a half and so. It's the best. I mean, it's, I love it.

I used to lie a lot when I was little. Sure. But he would he'll just lie and be like, oh, like he would be the most random things, but he was saying to my mom like, oh, the neighbor invited me over to his house, like the man, you know, and like he said, we could have a sleepover.

And he's saying all this stuff and I'm like, it sounds fake, but I don't want to not believe you. But it sounds, he says absurd things all the time that that could fall in the category. But that makes me so uncomfortable. My neighbor said, he wants to take me up in a spaceship somewhere. It could be anything. And it's like there's no neighbor or whatever.

But I was really uncomfortable. My mom of course was like, if you don't ever do that, if you ever, she'd give a nice talk about like, while you should tell everyone, if you're gonna do anything. Your mom sounds like a sane person, like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, somehow.

You just retreated and would do a little ball. No, no, no. I'm so gonna happen. Don't tell me this. No, but it's so, it's so scary to think like, how do you even explain it? Cause then she was saying on something, he was like, I'm just kidding or you know whatever like he says that about most of his stories. I'm doing it. Yeah, so like we don't really

know maybe someone did say something maybe they didn't and that's just uncomfortable, but you also don't want to scare someone too much when they're little and be like everyone's dangerous. Yeah, well, I mean, that's the opposite for like my parents were always telling me about dangers that were going to happen. Like on Halloween, the, I mean, but that's the opposite for like my parents were always telling me about dangers that we're going to happen Like unhulling the razor blade thing which has been widely debunked, but Man was it a huge thing for us of like don't don't ever accept an unwrapped candy Yeah, and if and one time I got one I think I got a caramel apple from the people across the street and a fucking freaked out And they were like who did you get this from?

You know, they cut it open. I'm gonna say to big cut it because that would be fun to be like, let's see if we got a razor. All right, we need to take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more of this show. All right. I All right We're back right back. I'm still me I'm I've switched places with Lauren. I'm Scott Yeah, Slurps a ton

Slouchy like farting Do you like it? Do you like farting? Love letting the stuff out. It's not like farting. I don't dislike it. How dare you. It's better than having something gurgling in your stomach. Yeah, but sometimes I do get mad at having to go to the bathroom. Like just to void your bowels, your bladder, it's sometimes every once in a while, and struck by like human acting.

This is undignified. This is undignified. Yeah. There's a few active bending over. Here's the thought that I have. Here's the thought that I have is on my hands and knees. The thought that I always have is this is this is someone's face. Just spray. It's like a windex bottle. Can you turn? Yeah, you can turn it for the internet. Turn the ring of my ass. Oh my God.

I'm curious. What's like, the thought I have is, this is the system. I know. To get rid of that. That's why it's one of the things that is the most efficient. It's one of the things that disproves evolution to me. It feels like toilets haven't evolved much my entire life.

Although I'm I can't. Yeah, I think the handles changed. When we were buying toilets for our new place a few years back, we went to Home Depot and the guy was trying to sell us the toilets. I was like, really, they're all the same or whatever, right? And he said, oh, no, this one's got a little bigger of a bull. So if you got a little more power and then you look to be like, what do you think? Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I was like, I had a boy,

like you shit a lot. Cool man. Maybe you're your rhinestone. I don't, I do not believe you meant that. This is gross, but power. We're already tagging us and grow, so I'll say it. We covered power, sister. Ryan Stanger has a funny

previously mentioned in the first double podcast that I think is so funny that when you fart and it smells really bad that your blow and dust off a turd blowing the stuff. You're firing, but you probably should shit. Yeah. That's some good stuff. I think it's funny. Not ever. Are you a group of them or are you just friends with them?

We were unbangering together at UCB, but I love the team here now. Mm-hmm. But they're still playing Friday night steak, go see him. OK, we'll do. We'll do. We went on without you. Okay, we'll do. We'll do. We'll do it. We'll do it.

We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it.

We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it.

We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it not eat and you could stay at your ideal body. Well, would you take Soilent to know what Soilent? Oh, yeah. It's like that drink that like it's every Soilent, yeah, whatever. It's all the nutrients you need in a day.

And so the diet that they recommend is like just drinking like three things of Soilent a day. It's sort of like the, the Michael. The diet that Soilent recommends. Hey, you know what you should do? Just drink our product all damn day. It's sort of like the Michael Cords wearing a black suit of food.

Yeah, it's like, I just do so I lent. Can you imagine how awful. I'll just do that every day. I mean, I love the choice being taken out of, you know, not having to go, what am I gonna eat today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's, I'm paralyzed.

If I'm hungry, I'm paralyzed by that. I love- I don't know what to eat. I love like making a lot of something and then eating it over the next, like for like every meal. Does he do it at home? Yeah, I love that. Eating one devil day for day.

Yeah. For eight months. Chomp. Good night. I, my wife does that. My wife. She, I, I wasn't gonna do it, so I'm glad you did. She loves to cook, and she's just cooking for the two of us, and so she'll make like

a big pot of something, and then we'll eat that over the course of circle day. I love that. And I always, it always to me is like, she got a recipe for the army. That's the only way she knows that. Chow time. For St. Paul. You know we're here to the mess all. Yeah. for the army. That's the only way she knows that. Chao time. For six times. Chao time ball. Get over here to the mess all.

Yeah. Is there something servings one barracks? Is there such a thing as Lebanese cuisine? Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, does she cook any of it? Yes she does. Yes she does. And it's,

what is typically. Well there's like, I'm gonna fuck it up. Yep. I'm just waiting for you to there's kibby kibby wise What kibby lies kibby sweet little lies Can that be my nickname kibby lies? Yeah, I was a kid talking about Jani last night at a party with Felicia Fisano. How about how awesome?

Felicia Roshab? Yeah. Scott. How awesome Janie is. Hold on a second. We like to have fun here, but you know that she did not say for the Chabrashab. Oh, you're gigging with the door. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What were you talking about? This is fun. We were just talking about how great Janie is and how wise you guys live near each other. Say it word from her other You and Janie We live very close to each other Are you guys in Felicia live close each other so you they will go on walks or Text all day long

She's just the best. She's a lovely look. I'm very blessed. You are she's a wonderful lady What can I say I'm married my best friend that That's so tight. My best friend is a guy named John He didn't marry it was it was illegal to marry him so I married cool up Second best. It was the only reason why you were married by him though. I wait. Yeah, I was he can say he married you That's true, and I married him technically because I I married him in New York. He is so cool. Oh, that's true. There you go. He is so cool. He is so nice. This is a friend of ours. He's very tall. That's why people call him tall.

And he likes it though. It's not like us denigrating him. How tall is he? Six, I believe, eight or nine, I think. He is, it's like right over the limit where he, he, he technically is viewed as a giant by the airline. So you can like demand a giant. Yeah, I think that I think that's the actual term with the airlines are are using these terms. Yes. So what can he demand first class for a giant customers?

Hi, you're welcome to board. I think it's like a certain type of seat on the airline or something like that. It has to recline and has to. Yeah, I can't I can't recall exactly what it is, but yeah, I'm not, yeah, I'm not there yet. I really love that. Yeah. You're not there yet?

No, you think you're done growing? You think you're gonna keep getting taller. I wonder if people just decide to stop growing. Oh, that's heavy. You know what I mean? Like I'm tall enough. Not me. I think they're probably tall people who would argue the opposite.

That they group way past the point. Way past it. You know, hold it now, Lauren. You're tall. Are you talking about yourself? I'm not. Do you like being in the high school? I'm fine with my high.

I don't really think about being tall very often, but people will point it out to me a lot. But I call you stretch. Yeah. The story of people asking me how out to me a lot. But I call you stretch. Yeah. The sort of out, people ask me how tall I am a lot. But I don't really think about it in general. I just think of people as either being my height or tall. I think of most people as being,

I don't think about their height at all, but if they're taller than me, I'm aware of it. That's, I was talking about this the other day on a show that we did with Neil Patrick Harris, where it's being tall. You never notice anyone's height unless they're taller. You just see people and then when someone says, like, oh, I'm short, I usually go, oh, you are?

Oh, yeah, I guess so. I mean, I see everyone's short to me. Yeah. I'll have to take your word for it. Yeah. Are you short? But I saw a woman, one of my friends, Yay!

The other day, who was taller than me, and I was like, weirdly jealous of it, but I don't really want to be over six feet tall, because I think that would cause a lot more problems with buying clothes. I feel like for acting, it's terrible. It would be hard, because it's already hard enough, I think, being my height. Yeah, it's terrible for me.

Yeah. It's doing bang bang, it's like trying to frame people in the shot. Oh, well, I'm trying to be someone's love interest if you're 5'10", because guys, every actor is fiving. Every actor short. Yeah. And so it's like, you, I mean, that's a challenge. Yeah.

I think I've for sure lost out on things we're being too tall. Yeah, you guys are the real heroes. Whatever? We would get so many parts of our short. Interesting. Look, we should take another break. Okay, fine. Is that okay? Yeah. Um, when we come back, we're going to have one of our world class segments thought of by me, Paul F Tomkings. We'll be right back with this show. This show is back. We're back. I'm a giant. Everyone's short to me.

I pick up a cow and just squeeze it into my mouth for milk and for hamburgers as well. And you don't care what comes out? Nope. I can't take seriously blood and bile. My taste buds are gigantic. I eat a rock. The country. Oh, no. Like a rock. Oh, no.

Like Iraq. Oh, Iraq or rock. Jack Bauer, he 24. He big money. All right, I have a segment. Wait a minute. Okay. This is a segment where?

Here's a little story I like to tell. About three bad brothers, you know so well. You must describe a famous scene from a famous movie, but describe it in a way that is hard to guess what the scene is, what the movie is. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Very good. Very good. Awesome. Very good. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Very good, very good, awesome, very good. Okay. Okay, I'm thinking. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, I'll probably do this poorly. Okay, and do we get points if we guess or there's not points, it's just a thing that we're doing. It's just a thing that we're doing. It's just a thing that we're doing. Okay, got it. How do you describe it?

Okay. Okay. A bunch of males. You've got my attention. When you know synonym, I don't know how I do it. You don't know synonym. Okay. I mean, you know synonym. So I don't know how I'm gonna do it. You know synonym. Um.

Okay. It's, I'm gonna do it like a poem. Winters cold. Winters cold. Brushes upon them. They struggle or just let me do my phone. They struggle for attention. Captain America Civil War. The yeah, yeah, that's good.

Keep guessing as I'm going. Long hat. Long hat. For hat. Glasses. Squinty-eyed. Teen. Spies like a fox.

Looks like a fox. One. Looks like a fox. One is bold enough to try the task at hand. It's cold out. We're just cold. The task requires a body part to be shown. Do you know what?

And they, it is above the neck. Stuck out to touch the ice cold pole. Oh, Christmas. Yeah. That's not okay. You sounded insane. Long hair. You sound like it's so clearly.

You sound like you're like the psychic in minority report describing a crime that you see. Okay, your turn or somebody. Scott. I'll go last. I do not have an example by the way. Do I have to do it like Lauren or do I just? No, I think it's up to you.

All right. A family is sitting around their breakfast nook, but it's not breakfast. It's actually family supper time and The mother is a single mother. She's trying to wrangle her children and just trying to make it through another family dinner. She obviously didn't have a lot of time to prepare it, but she's done her best. E.T. Yes.

Really? Did he even get to the Reese's Pieces? Oh my God, that was fun. All right, good, good. All right, good, good. All right, let's see. Yeah. Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip. Oh, R2-D2.

That's over. Shit. All right. Getting acquainted. Getting to know you. Conversation gets personal, but also remains professional. Dinner with Andre. I didn't know with. One man's professional against personal. Um, hobbies are discussed. Past adventures before sunrise. Nope. Yeah, I guess it's not professional.

It's not professional. They were not. They were strictly for fun. Um. Advice is given. Professional secrets are revealed. Oh. Corus line. No.

No, sort of though. Keep going. Sort of. Oh, so if it applies to the movie, I have to, well, I guess. I can't argue with that. It wasn't the movie I was thinking of, but you might inadvertently describe another movie. Fear. Control. roll.

Let's have Barbara strison movie where she goes to psychiatrist. Not the one I'm thinking of. Damn it. But nuts nuts is what I'm thinking of. Is that good? These are good. My balls. It really works on podcasts. What have been better for you?

Is nuts good? These nuts. These nuts are good. These nuts are good. Jack Bower, he's 24. Big hits. Big hits. Okay, wait.

Keep going. Advice is given. That's about the people. Fear. He big hit. He can't wait. I keep calling. Um, advices given about the people. Oh, okay. Oh, uh, basic instinct. Nope. Is it a man or a woman? Yes, it is. One person makes a request. Mm hmm. Of the other. Yes. Mrs. Doubtfire. No. When a man loves a woman. No. Keep going.

Failure to launch. Uh, famous movie everyone loves. Yeah. That I've seen many times. Uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, uh, this is crazy. Uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, No. No. No. No. Let's see. Seaman is thrown in someone's hair. Oh, it's a memory. No, what?

And what other movies are we're seeing is thrown in this? There's one other famous seaman, Seaman in the hair movie. Oh, Luis CK documentary. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. documentary. Yeah.

Um, I am, I'm drawn a blank on Seaman movies. That's the only one I remember. Seaman is thrown in the hair. Seaman, someone threw seaman in a hair and is it like a dinner with someone? Someone threw seaman in a hair. Someone threw a seaman in a hair. Is it like someone threw a semen in a hair. Someone threw a semen in a hair. Who's it like? Someone threw a semen in a hair? Okay, tell us more.

Who's in it? It's you, please, Victor. Give it away. Um, so, man and a woman. Oh, sperm and a whale. Spermen and a whale. Oh, what an whale. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. She was so confident

but the kid would sperm on books oh he is right yeah he jerks off and he rubs the spunk on the books really nasty it is nasty it's that that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's it's that's that's it's that's it's that? That was it. That's it. Welcome to the last detail. How often I say nasty. I like it. Okay, wait, we need more. How much semen? Who are the people just enough? What's the consistency?

Older man, younger woman. Oh, wait, not Olianna or something like that. Okay, I don't. Yeah, something I might know. The older man is not the one who puts the semen in the hair. He puts the semen in the hair. He puts the silence in the lamp. Yes, it is.

What? When does he throw, I got it, I guess I haven't seen that in a while. When she goes to visit him, that probably annoys so many people. One of the other, oh, I'm sure. Oh, one of the other image throws, throws seeds in her hair. Oh, I don't remember that.

I saw that when I was too young to probably understand what was happening. See it again. I'm sure. Oh, one of the roommates throws, throws scenes at her hand. Oh, I don't remember that. I saw that when I was too young to probably understand what was happening. See it again. I will, I'd love to. And then he talks the guy into killing himself later because it was rude. It was rude to do.

Yes. If that's all it takes, it was rude to do. Does he throw it with his penis? It was rude to do, boo. No, with his hand. Okay, so he's complete throw it with his penis. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, you, I guess Okay. So he complete throw with his penis. Wow.

You I guess I guess you're the winner, Paul, because it took us way too long. I feel like it was a bad game. No, I think it was good. I'm the loser, because I guess, well, I guess how many movies really have single mothers in it? It's it's under rep. I was just really good at guessing that one because I was pictured on the breakfast nooks and really all the famous cinematic breakfast nooks. There aren't that many. There aren't that many. You're right.

There should be more breakfast nooks in cinema. They're underrepresented. What was the story with the dad in that movie? Do they ever even mention him being gone? I don't know if they talk about it. I think she's on the, I think the mom might be dealing with some stuff related to him, but they don't, the kids don't. If the kind of subtlety that Spielberg

sort of jettisoned after a while, he used to do a lot of overlapping alt-minus dialogue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he also used to be kind of subtle about stuff like that. Nowadays, or not nowadays, but in his middle period, his hook period, he would have like a giant zoom in dolly shot you know, zoom in Dolly Shod on her, like, going,

the deads, the dead left, or something. The dead left. The dead left. Her husband. The dead left. Jack Bauer. The person that she was interlaced with, who she not only refers to as the dead left.

The dead left. Oh. Well, guys, this has been fun. That's a bad death. That's bad. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death.

That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death.

That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a bad death. That's a read them. Hey, you're ignorant. Lauren's putting all of her possessions into her purse. She can't have a way to leave. I'm gonna eat this. Guys, we'll see you next time. We had fun. I had fun.

I enjoyed spending time with you all. Same. I enjoyed. All right. Everyone, thanks for listening, goodbye!