Threedom - Threevisiting: The Normal Kingdom

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss spicy food, the girls on Tom Sawyer Island and the biggest reveal in Threedom history, then play a new Find Out Who Game. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at HAGCLAIMS8.com. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode of Freedom is brought to you by Makers Mark. You may not know that Makers Mark co-founder Margie Samuels was the designer and genius behind the original label. And it's Women's History Month, so I would like to shout out another amazing woman I admire, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who hosts the show Wiser Than Me, which every episode is amazing, also here on the Lemonade Network. And I am honored to be a part of a community of strong women, and I want to pass it on. I got a fun, personalized label bottle from MakersMark. So cheers to you, Margie, and cheers to you, Julia. This month order a free label and let a spirited woman in your life know just how special she is to you. Head to

MakersMark.com slash personalize. MakersMark makes their bourbon carefully, so please enjoy it that way. MakersMark Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whis whiskey 45% alcohol by volume copyright 2024 makers mark distillery incorporated loretto Kentucky freedom what? freedom freedom Freedom! Welcome to Freedom. This is, of course, the friendship podcast with me, Paul of Tompkins.

Me, the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. Do some puns. Do some funny crypt puns. Hello, boys and ghouls. Oh, I love this. I'm graving at you from over here. Is that a pun on grazing or gazing? Waving.

Waving, oh got it. Yeah. And me is Barney the Purple Duns. Oh, I love you. I love you Barney. Do you love me or have you stopped loving the people that love you? Honestly, I had to stop because it was too many. It's no longer a simple one likes Barney now. Do they they they don't there's They're trying to get a movie. I try to get a movie made

They're trying to Barney movie now. Well a hip or cool one What a terrible idea. I hope I got called. I never watched Barney. I did. Scott, you're lying. You never watched Barney. I don't even really know what he does.

Is it spelling? Is it like Sesame Street? He loves people who love him. Sure. It's... There's Barney, there's Baby Bop, you know. Who's Triceratops? Yeah, and she's really cute and the kids on the show.

Actually, wasn't somebody who's now like... Oh, Selena Gomez. That's what I was gonna say, Selena Gomez, but I thought I was wrong. She was on it. But I watched it sort of ironically. Tracy Lords was on Barney. Tracy Lords when she was 15, unfortunately. Sasha Gray.

They had to erase those entire seasons. Sasha Gray. So do you guys watch things like when you were too old for them, but you were being like, I don't really like it. I'm just watching it. But then you kind of think it's comforting. And so you keep watching it. Hmm.

Probably. I bet I did. I can't think of anything right now. Like I would, I did that with a lot of shows like Arthur. I love these questions that are just designed for her to know because I would To a very specific question Just do one Scott can you turn my headphones down a little bit? In your headphones Jay-Z.

Well, I really liked Richard's Scary's Busy Town. That was a great show. What is Busy Town? Busy Town, it was these books. Is that Cougar Town but without Busy Phillips? Yeah, ironically. It's the town that Busy's character moved away from. To move to Cougar Town.

She was like, everyone here is busy. Can't stand out. Okay, yep. It was a book series and still is. Oh, I love to read. Yes, so you would like it like this. I'm an avid reader. There was a little worm who was in an apple

who wears a little hat. A lowly worm. Yeah, and he goes around and he's busy. And on the show, it was a cartoon about these people slash animals that are not people. And he was cute. Yes, and the town is very busy. There's a lot going on. They have a full nonstop.

They have cops, ACAB. Sure. All cops aren't bastards. I agree. Is one of the cops a pig? Because that would be great. I think so. That's so funny. Sure. All cops aren't bastards. I agree. Is one of the cops a pig? Yeah. I think so.

That's so funny. Like it seems like you shouldn't be able to do that. What was your favorite show in fifth grade? Oh my god. Fifth grade? Probably happy days. I remember... Yeah. I remember just like being so bummed if I couldn't watch happy days. Aw.

And then I remember there was one where Joni posed nude or like a photographer was trying to trick her into posing nude. Oh my God, that was such a thing on those shows. Yeah. And I- Like a thing that doesn't happen in life. Maybe it happened a lot then

because there was like no internet. And I remember there was a repeat of that episode on and at the beginning part, my dad wandered through the room and he was like, why are you watching this again? It was a repeat of that episode on and at the beginning part my dad wandered through the room and he was like, why are you watching this again? It's a repeat. And I would always watch the repeats. Of course. You know what I mean?

Like it's on. You wanna watch it. It's TV, dad. You fucking asshole. And then when the plot comes up of her like, you know, gonna pose nude, he goes, oh, I see why you're watching this again. Dad.

Fuck you. You're like, no, I actually. Dad, if you're listening, fuck you. Any episode again, you ass. You ass butt. You dick bitch. You dick bitch, sorry Lauren, you weren't here for that. I like it.

I loved, they used to run Happy Days and Laverne and Shirley back to back. Oh, can you imagine? Hour of power. The entire cast standing back to back with Laverne and Shirley and Lenny Squiggy. RIP Squiggy. RIP Squiggy. He just died.

He just died. They were so fucking funny. So great. They were so funny. God damn. Hello. There you go. That was exactly what they did.

What kind of idiot would think that such and such is a good idea? Hello! Who could have murdered the Black Dahlia? Hello! Hello! I wouldn't touch that with a six foot pole. Ten foot pole. Why are you saying that?

The joke is I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole and then I think Lenny said, Well, I'm a six foot pole. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I was watching it past the point of it being cute, you know, but um I guess when my sister was born I would watch Baby monitor. Yes How much how old are you when she was eight and a half? Oh, that's a pretty big gap pretty big And so uh, are you talking about my mom when my sister came out? That's a pretty big gap But that's part of it, I think, too, is like if you have a little sibling,

you can really get a baby with watching all the baby shows. Yeah, you were sort of re-experiencing, watching through their eyes and stuff like that. That's always, I remember once I went to Disneyland with a bunch of, this is when we were 25 or something, we went on a trip with these people at Chin Chin where I used to work. Oh my God.

And we all had a slush fund. Macaroni Grill. We all had a slush fund that we would contribute to with our tips every day. And then at the end of it, like after a year, we would all like, you know, buy something with it or whatever. Oh, that's like very...

Yeah, thinking. Socialist. Sorry, Bernie. Like how much would you have by the end of the year? Well, enough where we did a trip to Disneyland where everyone likes. I mean, that's pretty good. So it's like basically a hundred bucks a piece or whatever at the end. And then food and all that kind of stuff. For a turkey leg. Sure. Enough for a turkey leg, hold on the cup, a little bit of a popcorn. You put it on your face like a horse with feedback.

I will never forget it. So we went to Disneyland and I remember like a lot of the waiters that I went to were all very cynical about it and making fun of it the whole time. And then we were also there with people who had just moved to California that year and had never been in this is the first time. Yeah. And I just. They've recently come in with some money.

Oh, yuck. It was all of my good friends. All of my good friends were making fun of it. And I was like, this isn't fun. I want to like. It's fun when you enjoy it. It's fun when you enjoy things and experience. So I like just hung out with the people who were like new to it.

And they were wondering like, why is he hanging out with those squares? And then all the squares were like, what is he want with us? What's the cool guy doing? But I'm sure is what they were thinking. But you were all one group. Yeah, but there were enough of us. And there were subgroups.

There were enough of us where people split off and were like, I don't want to do this lame thing. I'm gonna go do this cool thing. I'm gonna do the coolest thing in Disneyland. I'm gonna go do this cool thing. I'm gonna do the coolest thing in Temptyland. I'm gonna go on Tom Sawyer's Island and kiss girls. That was something that when I was growing up. Kiss girls. That was something that I heard about

when you're like 10, 11, 12, 13 or whatever. 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. 21, 22, 23, 24. You would hear about kissing girls. We're all 100. When you're 26, 27, 28, you hear about kissing girls. You would hear about like, okay, you can go to Tom Sawyer Island

and then hook up with girls. Or. Meaning, there's like a bunch of girls hanging out there who are wanting to hook up as well. There are just already there. There are pirate women. And if you go there. Yeah. But that's because it's so big and there's not a line,

you just run around this island. It's not there anymore. No, it is there. I don't think it's Zang. Tom Sawyer's Island is still there. But I think. Or Pirate Island or something. I think the place that I'm talking about,

Tom Sawyer's Island, where there is just like a big island where you could run around. Well, there is that thing. There are caves and stuff. There's a similar thing to that, where you take that little, that like raft over, like everyone stands on the go. Yeah, that's what it is.

It's still there. But maybe they got rid of the... Well, you run around and you can see some pirates booty. Maybe it is still there, I don't know. In any case. You really don't want to hear this stuff. For the record's good. You don't want to hear that it's still there.

It's not fun when you're an adult. No, when you're a kid in the promise of like cooking up girls Yeah, so I remember going there and being like very excited and then like you know You're sort of like looking at where are all the girls? It's sort of like going to Central Park You know like trying to get a blow job So yes, I went and I will say like... How old do you think those girls are now? They're trapped on that island. I know, that must be really hungry.

I will say I think... Would they live on kisses? Would any would come and kiss us? Now they're in COVID. I have an old crow. Peace. I want to go to Disneyland. I want everything to be normal. Oh, I don't. Disneyland isn't normal by the way,

I should just tell you that. That's true. Like the world isn't Disneyland. Okay, okay, fine. Then why do they call it the normal kingdom? I will say the first time I believe I touched a boob was in. Oh my God. The last time you believe you touched one.

Was on adventures. I thought several didn't believe it. Adventures in inner space, which was known as a dark... But you reached over and grabbed it. Some lady. Some grandma. I believe I touched a boob. She's like, that was my purse.

Your purse? Isn't that a boob? I said purse. I know. It's my purse. What is he called your Puss, your purse? Get my purse. My coin purse. Open up my purse. But that was known as...

Paul doesn't like it. I'm laughing. I know. What do you want from me? But your SMH. But that was known as the make-out run. I know. I know. I know. I know. What do you want from me? But your SMH. But that was known as the make out ride because that was the darkest ride.

Pirates of the Caribbean was dark, but it was the darkest ride where it was like some of it was just pitch black. Other than Space Mountain, which was too fast to like, how weird would that be? Like, make you out on Space Mountain. That would be so difficult. Don't crack your teeth. The centrifugal force. I will say one of the weirdest movies I've made out in... She's getting off like your mouth is all bloody. Yeah.

One of the weirdest movies I made out in was the Ice Storm, where I was on like a first date with this woman and we were just making out the entire time and the whole crowd was like, what is going on? The whole crowd. Like, why this going on with you? The whole crowd. Like why this movie? But yeah, Adventures in Interspace, super dark. They got rid of it. RIP when it was gone, it was like, wow,

there's not really a lot of places to go make out in Disneyland anymore. Was it based on the movie interspace? Not the 80s one, but it was where you shrunk down. It was like a 60s kind of vibe to it. Oh, incredible. Oh, what the fuck was it called? Fantastic voyage, I think. I think it might have you shrunk down. It was like a 60s kind of vibe to it. Oh incredible Oh, what the fuck was it called fantastic voyage? I think it might have been that yeah right

Is that a theme from it or I think you were doing atomic dog Yeah Fantastic! Fantastic! Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh- Oh, those are the wrong melody. Yeah, the melody, yes. But when you sing it, sing it. Come on, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I did a fake cameo. It was so funny. Where I just said random things, like very specific things. It was very accurate. And then I started thinking about would I actually be able to do that? Because that's the way to do cameo that I would enjoy. If I say like... You could say whatever you want. I'll say your name, but I'm not going to say anything else that you tell me to say.

You're not going to prompt me into... Yes, I am just... ...jaying these things. This will just be some private comedy for whoever you buy this for. Right. I'm going to make some shit up and that's it. That seems like a way in. Right? Yeah.

Go ahead, make your million dollars next year on Cameo. My dad called me into the room to show me the news. Honey, come in here. Honestly, he was like, I want to show you something. I think I'm gonna like this. And then it was about that guy from the office making a million dollars on Cameo. And then I explained Cameo in all of its glory to my dad for 10 minutes and then that was it I think that you shouldn't be able to

Replay cameos for anyone who didn't buy the green. I don't think the cameo should be on the cameo page of the person because you can watch Oh, you can watch the way which we don't like that and it's so in it's so weird It's just it takes away the specialness first of all, and then it takes away the surprise. And also, some people do the exact same thing every time. My friend did get one from someone from 90 Day Fiancé, and she sent it to me, and it was so bizarre. This guy, Paul, actually, we were going to talk about 90 Day Fiancé, then someone said we didn't get into it, and then I was like.

Oh, okay. Go ahead and get into it. Well, do you either of you watch it? No. Nocé, then someone said we didn't get into it and then I was like... Oh, okay. Go ahead and get into it. Well, do you either of you watch it? No. No. Maybe that's why we didn't get into it. That's probably why the conversation is in a dead end fast. But anyway, there's this character, aka person named Paul, who is married to this woman,

Kareenie, and they now are about to have their second child. And their relationship is very interesting. But he, he's a very weird guy. And he did an 11 minute cameo for my friend. And she did a full tour of his house and... So does someone like Andy Kindler do like hour long ones just to be funny about it or something like that? I wouldn't be surprised. But that feels like a waste of time.

For who? Him. Yeah, but that's the joke, I think. If you were to say the person watching it, I would agree as well. I mean, that's interesting. I don't know. So I appreciated that he went on for 11 minutes because it's like good value for 50 bucks, but also it was just like, wow, he really did a whole... He shared a lot of personal, I saw his whole home. That's weird. There was a french fry in the bed and he didn't take it out. What?

What? Do you, I, you don't even know. I can't, and he, you don't even know. It's, it's too, it's too. I could understand a french fry in the bed, but not taking it out. Did he acknowledge it? He goes, oh, Korean lunch or french fry in the bed. When he went to visit her and she lived, I want to say the Amazon. It was truly like a very difficult place to get to. Amazon, Iowa?

He had to go, he had to walk through water at a certain point in his journey, okay, to get to her. And he... That's some proclamorship. He put on two condoms on his penis. Just to get to it? No mosquitoes or bugs in the water would go in his penis. Oh. And then in the cameo he made for my friend he showed his penis sheath, which I guess now he has a penis sheath instead of condoms for that purpose. She didn't just move out? They went to America then they went back.

I don't know. They've had a lot going on. So he has a full penis sheath. And he was like, I'll keep it on this stretcher. Keeps it stretched out. Is that what he calls his penis? He picked it up, but he showed this little nub. And there was a sheath on it. And apparently he keeps it stretched out on that nub.

It's like a shoot treat. I'm just so fascinated. But that's part of the thing with cameo. It's like there's some irony into these purchases, which, you know, he doesn't care. He's still getting money. Well, we were looking at Christmas time and there were, and I think I sent you one, Lauren, there were Santa clauses.

So there were guys. Santa clauses on cameo? Yeah. Many times. I sent you one, Lauren, there were Santa Clauses. So there were guys... Oh yeah. Santa Clauses on cameo? Yeah. Many times. Oh, I gotta get one. Many times over. But there were, so there was like, what you'd expect, there were guys that like had real beards and obviously this is the, they do this, you know, every year. Yeah. Then there were people that clearly just were like, I'm gonna buy a fucking Santa costume and And I'm gonna try to make some money. The one he sent me was like depressing.

This guy's beard and mustache were bobbing up and down as he talked. It was so bad. It looked so shitty and it made me angry. Yeah, it should. That this guy, the gall of this guy. It should make you mad. The unmitigated gall of Santa Claus. The unmitigated gall.

Jensen Karp and Danielle Fishel have a podcast called Talking Cheap, where they go through people's camios. I heard about that instead of this. It's really funny. They'll talk, they'll pick three people and of different like types of personalities and costs. And then they'll guess how much it is and then talk about whether it's worth it and

play some of the cameos and it's really enjoyable. Are they ever worth it? Yeah, some of them are. It's not how much money you make. You'll be like, 25 bucks? That one was fun. That was a good one. He put in an effort, you know, that kind of thing. But then sometimes someone's like $300 and then you'll find out they've been doing the same thing for every single one and you're like Yeah, that's not really worth it Can you imagine making?

1250 an hour and then spending $25 on a cameo like working two hours of your life I can't I'm part of but I don't get about it's also it's mostly isn't it mostly people getting it for someone else I have a lot of gifts. I yeah, I don. I don't think people are buying it for themselves. I'm going to get you the coolio cameo. What do you want me to say? I want him to sing fantastic voyage in the tune that I did. Into the tune of atomic dog? Okay, done.

Please get me any one of the ancillary Sopranos actors who all use, we watched a bunch. They all use a bunch of mob talk and everything. Hey, Eric, you wanted to have a sit down with me. But see, that part feels tough, like to do like an old thing that you did. Yeah. I don't know.

The one thing you did? No, I said the, okay, I'm making sure you heard me. But yeah, but I mean, there's like that whole angle of it, where some people will do like if, I mean, I think that's why that guy from the office made a million dollars. So I get that. What does he do on it? I guess his the news program said that his news, they were reporting on it. Her dad called her in to watch the news. They said that he was he made really sincere videos like really, he put a lot of effort into them. Oh, that's good. That's what I. Like really, he put a lot of effort into them.

Oh, that's good. That's what I would do. I would put a lot of effort and be really great at it. Yeah. No, you would. With everything I do. I mean, if I did it, I'd just be the best. Yeah, I feel like with the most things I do,

I want to just, you know, put the most effort in, be the best, and it turns out really good. I mean, if I did it, I'd give 110% and probably would make a lot of lists. That's what I don't understand about people who like move out here to be actors and they don't make it. It's like, well, just put a lot of effort into it and be the best. Yeah, like just be really good and just do it.

Like I don't really get it. Like if you want to make it, why don't you just make it? I want to tell a blind item story. Oh, blind item. Can we guess and if we guess, you can nod to us silently. And we'll go, oh, we got it right. And then all of a sudden everyone stops talking. I wonder who it was. If you're out there and you like blind items, follow Doom Wah on Instagram.

This is the ultimate gossip Instagram site. Okay, blind item. Here we go. This is not that salacious a story, but it was a story that bummed me out. Did somebody that we know was talking about another, I got to know was talking about a person who recently, relatively recently at the time had become very successful and was doing very well. And, uh, and so this, goodbye.

I want to know who it is. I will never. No, I wanna know who it is. I will never know. I wanna know what they said. This great story that we only heard, there was a person talking about someone. So the person we know was talking about seeing this successful person a while back on some hosting like some like,

you know, compilation video type show that's on Nat Geo or Animal Planet or one of those kind of things. Where it's essentially a funny moments video roundup or whatever. I would love to host one of those. And... So do you see that kangaroo punch that guy?

I know it. If Antonio, whatever his name is from Fresh Prince. Alfonzo Ribby Hero. If he steps down, I was watching Tom Bergeron who, whatever his name is from Fresh Prince. Alfonzo Ribbiero. Alfonzo, if he steps down, I was watching Tom Bergeron, who, you know, whatever. But what a gig. Listen, if Antonin Scalia ever, what is she? She's not on AFV.

She's on Dancing with the Stars. That would be so bizarre. She was on AFV. Yeah, Tyra Banks. Here's another guy to get hit with. The balls with the whistle back. Smizing. So he saw this guy on the show

and was saying like, oh, I can't believe he gave up so early, you know? He was like, he's so talented, he gave up. And it's like, and this is a guy who's gone from, this person we know has gone from success to success to success to success and it's like you don't fucking know what are you talking about? Of course I didn't say anything.

It's not giving up. Yeah, you were in the moment you were a coward and just a yes. Of course sir. I didn't even have a living home ball. Whatever you say sir. I agree. He did give up. Please don't hit me. Scott, what's the croc? Wait, wait, wait, I'm not talking about that. The croc fairy came just a hype. After, we're gonna take a break after Lauren talks and then when we come back, we'll be talking about the croc fairy.

The gibbits? Yes, go ahead. The gibbits. That's, I learned that's what they're called. No, is that true? They're called gibbits. Yeah, croc gibbits. That's- I learned that's what they're called. No. Is that true? They're called gibbits. Yeah. Croc gibbits.

That's weird. The croc fairy made some gibbit deliveries. Anyway, I just think that's really- Special gib delivery? I think that's really harsh to say somebody gave up, went up- by the way, probably no one knew they even did that show. Yeah. It's like they probably got a bunch of money to do fucking nothing.

Exactly. Who gives a fuck? You need money to eat and then you turn what you eat into shit and you need money to buy toilets. Exactly. You need money to buy toilet. I need more money to buy toilets. My toilets are old. I have money. Do you have toilet? When we were buying toilets, was it this place or a previous place? I can't remember. How many toilets were you buying?

But we went to Home Depot and it was just like, hey, can we get a more powerful toilet? Like our toilets back up sometimes. And the guy at Home Depot was like, all right, my man. And wanted to high five me for what? Take me a big shift? You're big dumps and using too much toilet paper? You fucking grudge.

I'm gross? The guy's gross! Not me! You're nasty. You don't know how to flush your shit. It's called courtesy flush. You and that guy deserve each other. I'm not nasty. Alright, let's take a break. Hey everyone, this episode of Freedom We Want to tell you is brought to you by Makers Mark. And we also wanted to tell you that you may not know that Makers Mark co-founder Margie

Samuels was the designer and genius behind the original label. And now, in honor of Women's History Month, Makers Mark has partnered with the talented artist Gail Cabaker to hand paint a beautiful label which you can personalize with the name of a spirited woman you know, someone who makes an impact on you or in their community. In honor of this Women's History Month, I want to shout out an amazing woman I admire, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who hosts the show Wiser Than Me, also here on the Lemonade Network. It is a great show, I highly recommend. I'm honored to be a part of a community of strong women,

and I wanna pass it on. And as part of this woman's month, it's not just this woman's month, it's all women's month. Every month is women's month according to me. Wow, that's a great attitude. I got a fun, personalized label bottle from Makers Mark. So cheers to you, Margie, and cheers to you, Julia. And you know what? You can join in the funers Mark. So cheers to you Margie and cheers to you Julia. And you know what?

You can join in the fun. I'm not talking to you Lord because you've already joined in on the fun. I'm actually, I'm whooping it up. You swiped your microphone away. I didn't want anyone to hear me. Cough. Well, cuckuckuck cough.

That ship has sailed. All right look, join in on the fun, okay? This month order a free label and let a spirited woman in your life know just how special she is to you. Head to makersmark.com slash personalize, fill in the details, and then shout out the woman you know

who's making a difference. I'm gonna send one to the Statue of Liberty, my favorite lady. Makersmark makes their bourbon carefully, so please enjoy it that way. Makersmark, Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey, 45% alcohol by volume, copyright 2024, Makersmark Distillery Incorpor carefully, so please enjoy it that way. Makers Mark Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey 45% alcohol by volume copyright 2024. Makers Mark Distillery Incorporated Loretta Kentucky. You memorized all that?

This show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, I Lauren, no, no, I just cut you off. Oh, OK. Because this is important. I think a lot of us suffer from decision paralysis. I was deciding whether to talk or not. And I got paralyzed by it. Like we all wish we had more time but when we actually find time in our schedules

we don't know how to spend it. Well, sometimes discovering what matters most requires a bit of reflection and support and that's where a therapist can be absolutely crucial. Therapist, what are they? Well, they- I don't think we have time to go into that but I will say they can help you look plainly

at how you spend your time and figure out what's actually making you happy or helping you progress towards a goal. Me? I've always loved therapy. Always? Well, since you were a baby. Before I did it, I was scared of it.

And then once I did it, I loved it. Yeah. Being able to do a weekly step back with a professional means, getting perspective on your own life you didn't have before, allowing you to see the decisions you're making more clearly. Therapy has been such a huge game changer for me. This is a fact about me.

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Freedom. Bzzzt. What's that sound? Electricity. Oh my gosh, are you Nikolai Tesla? Yeah, what's up everybody? It's me, Nikolai Tesla. Well I have a question for you Nikolai Tesla? Yeah, what's up everybody? It's me, Nikolai Tesla. Well, I have a question for you, Nikolai.

Shoot. How much do we three love e-bikes? Wait, you include me? Yeah. I love them. Me too, we love them a lot. Did you ever think that this thing that you helped invent or maybe invented, I don't know,

your resume all that well. Did you ever think it would lead to a bike version? No, the bicycle, the velocipede is now electric. Yes. It has been electrified. Yes, yes. This is great news for me. From commutes.

Commutes? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha until I'm reading this for the first time. From commutes to adventures. I thought I said communes and then I just saw it was a T in the middle of the word. You could ride an electrified bike to commune. From commutes to adventures, riders of all abilities can explore this new year with electric e-bikes. I love it. E-bikes are absolutely the best way to get mobbing and maybe even disco-var some new

neighborhoods around you. Walking? I actually read it's bad for you. Don't do it. Bike instead. Yeah. Cruising around my neighborhood on my electric e-bike has become my new go-to little self-care ritual whenever I have a free morning.

It's one of the most comfortable bikes I've ever written, and I love how much they let you customize your ride. Oh, I love this electric talk. Nikolai, take this part. Explore 2024 with electric e-bikes. That's like electric, but without the E at the front. The most accessible and adventurous e-bikes ever. Visit electricebikes.com to learn more.

And be sure to mention that freedom sent you in the post-checkout survey. That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-Bikes.com. And of course, on one of our previous episodes, I was talking about how the Crockfairy was coming every night and delivering, what are they, gibbits? Gibbits. And where do you keep,

so do you put your crock at the foot of your bed and the Crockfairy comes? They are, they are. Do you put the crocs on your pillow? They are by the little, I don't know what you call it, but like a little shoe tray kind of thing by her front door. Okay, so the crocs were in the front door so the jibbit fairy can get in very easily. Yes.

She just snacks and... So every morning I would wake... Or he. True. She or he. They, every morning I would wake up and there would be a new jibbit on my crocs. I talked about how there was a piece of sushi. What was the very first one? The very first one was a piece of sushi. What was the very first one? The very first one was the piece of sushi. Is it one at a time? Yes. Okay. First one was a piece of sushi. Second one I talked about this is a bowl of avocado or guacamole with a few

tortillas next to it. Previously avocado. Yes. Then since then, then, and I, you guys asked me about this the other day, and I told you, since then, Just the other day. A third one appeared, and it is a slice of bread. Just so everyone can visualize, Scott is sitting like one of those pulled toys where it's like a little wooden guy, and when you pull the string between their legs,

the legs pop up. I'm sitting like my feet are in stirrups, and I'm about to get a pap smear. Pap smear! How old is this smear? Like you put it on a ball? That's football. That's gross.

That's an inside joke for Paul. So the slice of bread, by the way, the the crock-fairy has gotten me because these are things I love apparently, according to the crock-fairy. gotten me, because these are things I love, apparently, according to the crock-fairy. You love a slice of bread. Oh, you love bread. And the slice of bread says, Buy the slice.

Let's get this bread on it. Oh, sure, absolutely. Yeah. So then, the crock-fairy alerted me to the fact that they had ordered a bunch of gibbets, and then the crock-fairy thinks. That's strange of the crock-fairy to do. Yeah, I feel like the crock-fairy. No, they don't make crock-fairy to do. Yeah, it feels like the crock-fairy.

No, they don't make the things. Oh, okay. But still. They're just middlemen. I mean, hey, that's your business, crock-fairy. For sure. Yeah, why don't I be surprised? But they had, no, they had ordered a bunch of them, but thinks they threw them away because they were in packages with bigger stuff and got, you know, like...

The gibbits are small. That's devastating. And so no more gibbits were coming until Christmas. Oh, yeah. I woke up and there are two gibbits on, one on either foot, and it is little Grogu on both feet. Wow. Little Grogu. Here's Grogu, everybody.

Scott, do you want to hear a story? Oh, I see. How nice. Do you want to build a snowman afterwards? Do you want to hear a story? Oh, I see. How nice. Do you want to build a snowman afterwards? Do you want to build a Krogu? I sent those to the Crockfairy. You sent these to the Crockfairy? Yes, I did.

The Crockfairy didn't even tell me. With a note saying, you know what to do. Whoa! I think she was waiting for me to talk about it on this show. I'm sorry, this is a huge reveal. This is the biggest reveal in freedom history. I am pleased as Pontius Pilate right now. That must have been really exciting for you.

Was he really pleased? The story was being told. Yes, it was. Because I was waiting here like, does he know? Such restraint. Do I get to reveal? Such restraint that you had to not go, I did that. To actually, you know, put myself in my place, you had to not go I did that and to actually you know

Put myself in my place. You did try to go to the crocs Conversation a little sooner, but I forced you to go back to the other conversation and you must have been having anticipation Yeah, you must have been dying inside. No, what was great was I forgot? Oh, right Got about the you forgot about the grow whatever grow goo No, no, I forgot that we had brought up crocs and then we're going to return to it. Was Punch's pilot really pleased that he said? He was so pleased. I don't know.

He got to watch Sam's. So he would not have been able to do it? Hey, buddy, be like Punch's pilot. Remember to wash your hands and kill Jesus. Let Jesus be killed. Lauren, you heathen, you don't even know what we're talking about. I don't care. You never read that Bible?

You got to get yourself to church, girl. No, I don't. It's like Christmas all year long. How would you go to Christmas Eve Mass or you'd watch it on TV? Is that what it was? No, I loved going to. I used to love going to midnight mass when I was religious. Midnight mass.

Midnight mass. Why? It's like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Well, I loved going to, I used to love going to midnight mass when I was Midnight mass. Midnight mass. Why? It's like the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Well, I was a kid. Yeah. And you had to throw things. Throw bread. I got it because as a kid, you got to stay up late, which was fun.

It was just very exciting. And the next day was Christmas. And then you'd, we were like, come home, we get to unwrap one present. Oh, that's the, that's the carrot. Yeah. Yeah. And when I was in the choir and I sang in the choir for Midnight Mask, that was a blast.

It was so much fun. You got to super spread? Got to super spread, yes. We did COVID. You got to sing all the dramatic songs, all the dramatic Christmas songs. What are the most dramatic religious Christmas? Carol, the bells is the most dramatic. Yeah, yeah.

Which, by the way, I was listening to... Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. You're the man now... Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. You're the man now, ding dong. You're the man now, ding dong. One seems to hear words of good cheer from everyone. You're the man now, dong, podcast.

And Dan Lippert was talking about Carol'ss as performed by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra but he called it Chairman of the Bells and no one called it and it made me laugh. Chairman of the Bells, baby. Chairman of the Bells. That's me, baby. Ding dong. Big Ben.

Chairman of the Bells. We're writing ding dong. That's a Frank Sinatra. I understand. Oh, okay. God rest you, Mary, gentlemen. Very dramatic. Satan's power is mentioned. Lauren, you need one more person here to know what you're talking about.

Yeah, you're right. Who can we get? Who can we get for Fordham? Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. I would love that.

I love Mary. She's an old maid. I love Mary. Mary's the best. She's all made. She's the best but unfortunately there can only be three. That's it. I just have to be talking to the nobody. Hey, didn't you have fun talking about Arthur? Yeah, for two seconds. If I were to die though, you could bring Mary in and that would be...

Okay, okay, okay. If Scott dies, Mary's in. Yes. If Paul dies what push over Thank you. No, I die you have to pull is the glue if I die The show goes on but you only talk about me and say nice things forever every episode The last one episode come on That's harsh. You don't think we have four episodes of nice things to say? No, you honestly only have one.

Maybe two. I just spilled. Oh, no! Not on my things. Well, nobody can die. Here, I did too. Aw. Yeah.

Okay. We poured one out for the people who haven't died yet. That's what I'm... That's us. For the people who haven't died? Yeah, that's us. We won't get... You never get to pour one out for the people who haven't died yet. That's what I meant. That's us. For the people who haven't died? Yeah, that's us.

We won't get... You never get to pour one out for yourself? Well, that's the thing. I think that we should have fake... Not funerals, but I guess funerals or wakes or whatever for people in the community. Fake wake? Because they're always so touching, you know, when one of your friends dies and you hear all these nice things and how much they mean to people and it's like, yeah. Well, and the opposite as well. What do you mean? You hear a lot of shit talking During a during a wake. Yeah, really? Well the ones I've been to like who your mom. Let's see. Yeah Savage takedown

Anyway, but what is that good idea to have a fake funeral for people? Yeah, but like... We'll have a UCB sunset. Oh. Comedians can't be serious during that. Yeah, I know. That's true. The reason it's so touching when they're dead is because they are so serious and it's like

this very funny person is so serious now. I guess weddings are sort of like that. But you know, like there's nothing in between a wedding and that's why like Kulap keeps saying like, let's renew our vows because she just wants a big party where we say nice things to each other in front of people. You should do that. You know, I want to do that too and Janie's against it.

But I want to, what I want to do is because as your life goes on, you, there are more people in your life that weren't there when you got married. You know what I mean? We have touched on this just for the spanking category, but I do think you both should do it. And I think it should be the second we can have a party.

We have a big, valourineuil. Where everyone we know and we just go through in a line. Everyone we know. Yes. Like everyone we've ever even spoken to. Like people you've just met once. Yeah. Even people on tour who have come through the lines. Yes. Like everyone we've ever even spoken to. Like people you've just met once. Yeah, even people on tour who have come through the lines. Wow, they're all here.

They're all here. They're all invited. Would you do it at your house? It's your favorite checker from the supermarket. I have a friend who keeps making excuses to like have a big party every year. And I think it's just they like the attention of people say like, what are some excuses?

Well, you know, it started with a wedding and then it just keeps changing of like, oh, okay, now we're doing this thing. And this is where people say nice things about me. And you know what I mean? What? That's amazing. Yeah. And every time it happens, I'm a little suspect of like,

you just like people lining up and giving you tributes. You really can't help it. You could only have that type of event where, like I've been to a birthday party where people got up and said things about the person and everyone around the table had to say something which makes me really emotional, like in not a good way. Like I feel very like, I feel like stressed.

I feel stressed and I feel like I cry, like, because I can't believe it's happening. That you have to do it. Well, you see, this is you though. I've learned about you. You don't like being put on the spot like this in a big, I don't, and it makes me really uncomfortable. And I-

If you had to prepare, would it be okay? Or is it the fact that you- No, then I'd be thinking about it all day. It's like, I just don't want to do it. And I, but I don't mind saying something nice. It's not hard to think of what I would say, but I just don't want to do it. But the problem is, like, how do you get, like, my feeling is you can only do that once every five birthdays or events.

Like, I don't want to get up every year and say something- Every year, like, what's changed? Nothing. And it just feels like what's changed? Nothing. And it just feels like self-absorbed. Like who wants to sit there and make everyone do that? Yeah, yeah. Oh, did I say that loud? I think once you, yeah once in a while.

All your 50th birthday was good. Oh that was awesome. Where people said, did people say nice things about you during that? No, Janie did a speech, that was it. That's right, Janie did a speech. But it felt very... What was she gonna say?

Which by the way, I would say she did a toast, which I did not know was gonna happen. That was very nice. It was a very warm event though, where it felt like people speaking about you. I sang Rock Lobster, which is a long song, and it was very out of breath, like within the first...

It's a very long song. The first two minutes. That was in lieu of people saying nice things. I did ask people, I had a live band and I asked certain people to perform songs and it was what was so great was I got the best of it because I got to see the... I got the rest of it. Well, I tried the rest and then I decided to go for the best. I got there to see the sound check. So I got to see all of these performances just for me. I was the only one in the room.

And then when the party started, people talked through the songs. I had not anticipated happening so annoying. I had not it's so weird because here's why I wasn't my memory of it But I guess people in the back while you had a loud song, which was good, but I guess I don't mean my song I just oh yeah, yeah the others I was I was standing on the side of the in the wings You know and I could hear people talking during waiting for the reviews to come out Was the post I was running to Sardis. I'm trying to think about if people were around me were talking or what was happening.

I remember it was probably in the back, but it carried. I could hear it backstage. The acoustics in that room were... Yes. Yeah, interesting. I feel like if I had closed the bar for the for the the front. Well this is Todd Glass' whole thing. You gotta put curtains around the bar. It did not. It did not occur to me. I wanted to do it in by. It's true. It did not occur to me and I should have

I should if I did it over again that's what I would have done. I really enjoyed your sort of big band version of It's a Sin by the way. Yes Boys. Yes, that was so much fun to do. That was a great one. Had you ever done that before? Oh, that was great. Or was that a new arrangement? That was a new arrangement. I had done that song once before at Largo, but not with that, not with that big a band, with a horn section and everything.

That was so good. It was so much fun. Do you think you would have a 60th birthday? Black bass? Party. Party. We hope you'll have a 60th birthday. Bass. Do you hope you'll have a 60th birthday. Do you think you'll have a 60th birthday full stop?

Like would you do it again? I would, yeah. I would, yeah. It was really fun. That was one of those things where... You're planning on having a 55th and you're like cutting more than this. Oh, would you do a 55th or is that too soon? No, I would not do a 55th. No. Yeah.

If I make it to 60 Yes, I will have a party for fucking sure. Of course you will People talk about how they're gonna die didn't get a 50 because of 28 I don't know if I want to do birthday parties and things. I mean, maybe later, but I did a 30th and it was fine, but also weird. I don't know. My 30th was very stupid. It was just like, it was at the drawing room, that bar.

Oh. I think I had my 40th at where Cool Up used to do her show on Monday nights, that Mexican restaurant? Oh, Pedro's. No, no Pedro's. No, wait, wait. Shit. Anyway, but Pedro's quite. But don't you feel like it's like you have this

aspect to, I feel like especially with 30, like you're supposed to be like, I'm 30. Well, you definitely have one on 21. Yeah. And then 25, you're like, oh, I can rent a car tomorrow. Fuck yeah. Rent a car tomorrow. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Rent a car Eve. I'm gonna drive everywhere.

Um. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, at this point, it's just like, give me another one, please. Give me one more. Right. Can please. Please God, don't take me home.

Please God, it's me Margaret. Please don't take me home. Please God, it's me, Margaret. Please don't take me home. It's me, Margaret. How old is Margaret from, are you there God? It's been more than... Well, isn't she getting her period, so 22? No, I mean, how old is she now? Yeah, 22.

She's no longer having periods by now. How old is she now? Well, she was getting her period and when was that? 70s. That was in, like say, it was 73, so she's... So she was getting her period and when was that? 70s? That was in the, like say it was 73 so she's... So she's in her 70s now? Sure, yeah. Of course.

People were born in the 70s or something? Coolop, oh boy! Oh shit, I called you Coolop. What? Let's not explore that. What a Floridian slip! I'm in love with you. Mary? Did you catch that?

It was published in 1970, and she was in sixth grade, so she was 12. Okay, so she was born in 59. Oh. Fuck, yeah. Add to end of that. And I am in. Add to end of that. And I am in. Ariana Grande song, 35 plus 34.

Like, Cool Up didn't understand it, and I was like, until she's listening to it never heard of this song never heard of that it just came out a little bit over the top are you the point of just came out but she's like and I think in one of the lyrics she's like will you fuck me all night long and I'm like and they're playing it on seriously do you want to fuck me all night. Do you want to fuck me all night? Do you want a 35 plus 34? It is very weird, by the way, like driving around in your car,

we have Sirius like satellite in her car, and it's weird to hear the curse words like on the radio. You know what I mean? So to hear Ariana Grande saying like, fuck me all night long while you're in the car is just, and you're not listening on it. I don't know what it is, but hearing like the sort of

bad reception static and then she's like, fuck me, fuck me. I remember getting a- This fuck sounds amazing. This sounds horrible. I remember getting a ride home from a dad I was babysitting for. And there was like a really nasty song on the radio.

We both just sat there like- What was it? For the time, what was nasty? No, so it was, um, God, I can almost remember it. It was like... What year? I want to say something about Twister or something. It was...

A song about Twister. Okay, I'm going to look this up. It was probably night... Let me think how old I would have been. I might have been in college, But it was really awkward regardless. I was probably it was probably 2000 Between 2003 and 2005 Okay song

Well, I'll tell you the twister soundtrack had Van Halen's humans being on it. Could that have been it? I don't even know if it was But it was something it was something really like butt related. Butt related. Let's play Twister and your butt. Twister song butt related. Right hand butt. Twister song butt related.

But I was babysitting this kid and he lived in Chicago and his dad gave me money to take him to Dave and Buster's which is like chaotic with like just you and a kid. Right. So he was running all over the place and it was very stressful. Is this it? Did I love it?

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Baby born will die before the sun. Chocolate rain. So you felt embarrassed in the dad did what? Was he like... He just left it on and we just sat there and listened to it. Would you... Parked. I put his hand on my knee.

This feels terrible to have to drive a babysitter home, especially when she's in... If you're in college, drive yourself home. No, I was... No, I could... I can't remember what the circumstances were that he was driving me, but. But whatever, like what is a good conversation that can occur in something like this?

Like what are you up to at school? Oh my God, no, there's nothing. Like it gives a shit. How does this song make you feel? I had to get rides from parents. Well, cause my baby sat a lot as a kid and then they would drive me cause I was like in middle school.

And I remember just being so awkward with my clarinet case in my lap and being like, like- clarinet, why would you practice- Well, I came from a school- It's like, oh! Oh! It's just a machine gun.

Oh my God. Like the Valentine's Day Massacre. I used to have to babysit, is this spanking time? I don't remember,. I used to have to babysit, is this spanking time? I don't remember, but I used to have to babysit my our church friends kids. And I got paid $1 an hour. Oh my God. And...

Church friend kids. $1 an hour. $1 an hour, dearly beloved. Do you want $1 an hour to babysit these kids? What would you buy with your like $2? Nothing, it was, I mean, even at the time it was... $2. Even at the time it was not a lot of money.

What could you get? How much was a Coke? Uh, $2.50. $2.50. I remember learning when I was like 18 that you could buy Cokes and they would be like $0.30 a piece rather than a dollar. Like if you bought them in bulk. We have talked about this, I'm sorry. Okay, in any case, we've talked about that.

Buying coax for 30 cents. Yeah, because we talked about the price of Coke. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about cocaine. I can't remember the price of things like that when I was a kid, even though it was very important. Like knowing to the cent how much everything was. Yes. I don't remember.

50 cents. Here's the one thing I can remember. Are you just throwing was. I don't remember. 50 cents. Here's the one thing I can remember. Are you just throwing out numbers? I think they were 50 cents for most of my childhood and then they were 65. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I remember when sodas went to a dollar, like a 12 ounce soda. Yeah, that seemed like a lot at the time. The one thing I remember vividly is in high school they had, in the cafeteria, they served,

once a week they served this thing called hot cheese on a roll, and that's exactly what it was. It was melted cheese inside a Kaiser roll. It's like a grilled cheese. Barf. Grilled what? How could you dare? Well grilled, how could you dare?

But those cost 60 cents. Wow. 60 cents. Hot cheese on a roll. And they were molten hot. Did you love it? I loved cents. Wow. 60 cents. Hot cheese on a roll. And they were molten hot. Like they would come. I loved it. Yeah.

Do you make one at home? So what? You can make it really good at that. Like get a Kaiser roll and then what kind of cheese? I think just American cheese. American cheese. I think American cheese is very good. I love it.

I think it's very underrated. You've talked about the human- Do you like to process American cheese or do you like like deli American cheese? Deli American cheese. Oh, it. I think it's very underrated. Do you like to process American cheese? Or do you like deli American cheese? Deli American cheese. Oh, look, I'll eat them both. You make something with American cheese. I make a scrapple, egg, and cheese sandwich.

That doesn't sound bad. To have like American cheese in the middle of like scrapple. That's a good usage of it. It's perfect. I really wish I liked cooking. I really don't care about it. I wish I did too. So annoying.

Janey loves it, but I don't. Janey loves it. It's such a pain. And I don't have any ideas. Like I don't know how to do it. Like I don't know what goes good. Why don't you like look something up online? I don't know.

I had a period of time. You had a period? I had a period. Oh, you're 22? Like last year I had a period of time when I was like really cooking out of a recipe book, Quickbook. And I was like planning it, like I'd open the cookbook and pick a thing and then go

get all that. But part of the problem is that, especially now, you have to get so many ingredients if you're not someone who cooks a lot, like you have to buy so many things. We have everything stocked here because Coolap for some reason like keeps all that. So we have like everything you would ever want, like in a full stocked like pantry and stuff like that. So when I started baking cakes, it was like, I would look at the ingredients and go,

we can't possibly have this, right? She goes, hold on, it's right here. We don't have, what is this, floor? Floor? The company my dad flew her. Helicopters for? Floor? Floor.

But I just wish I had a chef. Yeah. I didn't see that's where this was headed. That would just be great. You'd get there. Just to go like there. Does Mike cook? Not really.

And we. You'll get there. We don't. Don't give up so early. Okay, fine. But we like, we both don't really care to try that. Right, right, right. So it's not really like,

I've done a lot of those Hello Fresh type things, especially because of podcasts, they send you a box and stuff. So I've gotten a bunch of those over the years. I do those, but that's really specific. It's hard because it's just like, then I make that thing, but then I won't probably make it again

because then I have to get all that stuff again What if you started small with stuff that's kind of basic and then like that's what I should do I feel like I pick a big recipe and I like a peanut butter and jelly that I could do we made smash burgers the other day We cool up got a smash burgers kit. Oh Fucking good. They're amazing. What's a kid? Yeah, okay, so I have a question. What's a smash for you? I mean if there's a kit I want it because that's easy. So it's a pretty basic kit, but basically what you do is it has a like, I guess,

I'm miming right now, sorry. You're making yourself. I can't believe this. I'm just lying right now. Why are you doing this? He's like miming watering plants. No, it's... So it's like... And then you go up over here.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I do put that, I do put that. And it's so good. But it's almost like an iron. It's like a cast iron kind of flat thing with a handle on it. So when you put- It's almost like an iron. But it's round, right? It's round.

Yes. So you make ground beef balls. You put it on your- Dick. Dick. You fuck with it. No, you put it on a skillet or whatever. You don't need me. Or a frying pan.

You put it on a frying pan, you smash it down with this cast iron thing so that it's as flat as you can get it. And that way it grills the edges very crispy and. Sounds pretty good And then the other what else is in the kid it must have been a prize ingredients No, not the beef or anything Kid is just a piece of paper that's like here's what you need. Oh papers paper comes in

I'm just trying to remember what's in the case that's like, here's what you need. Oh, paper comes in. Paper, paper, paper. Because you gotta put a thing of paper. Paper, paper, paper, paper. I'm just trying to remember what's in the case. In any case. Paper comes in the case. Paper, I did it all. And there's lots of plastic. I love the paper. I also found a recipe for burger sauce, which is like,

like when you go. What the fuck are you talking about? When you go, you know, when you go to like in and out. Like horse sauce? Sauce that tastes like burgers. No, when you go to in and and out. Like horseradish sauce? Sauce that tastes like burgers? No. When you go to in and out and there's like an orange sauce that they put on, you know what I mean?

It's not mustard. It's basically... It's not yet a woman. It's not mustard. It's like that's not in and fucking... Not yet. Yeah, it's sort of, but it's basically it's ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish, vinegar, sugar. I'm ready, hollera.

I don't want that. It was really fucking good. They were like the best burgers that we had ever made. Okay. They were amazing. But I- What are the worst ones? Well, ones where you don't know how to cook and you're like, is this done and then it's raw.

Did I just eat raw beef? But I think about my mom making stuff when I- Oh, I do too. All right, let's have a moment of silence where we all think about my mom making stuff. Oh, I do too. When I... All right, let's have a moment of silence where we all think about my mom. But making dishes, you know, because she got married right out of high school, right?

And so she became a housewife and she wanted to be a housewife because she wanted to get out of the house. And so that's what society told her. She wanted to get out of a witch house. Her, she grew up in a witch house? Yes. Out of blame or... She wanted to get out of the house because she wanted to get out of a witch house. Her, she grew up in a witch house? Yes. Out of blame or...

Boy, boy, it's all in the trouble. She wanted to get out of the house because she wanted to get out of the house, but then she had to go in the house. She had to go into a different house. My house is made of food. I gotta get out of here. But she had to learn how to be a housewife.

And essentially my dad like, you know, went off to the ward of Vietnam, like right when they got married. So she was like, and had a baby with her. That's like the worst. And so had had a baby, didn't know how to do it, had like help from relatives sort of, but she learned how, you know, like I grew up going like,

oh, my mom's cooking is like, she was very good at desserts, but like we have this kind of the same seven things or the same eight things. But then you realize the internet isn't around and all she had was like one cookbook that someone had bought her when she first became a mom. The Housewives Cookbook.

Yeah, it was like essentially like American cooking that's so basic. And so she learned how to do- Food men love. Yeah, she would like experiment occasionally but if it didn't get a good response from the family. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. He's looking for someone. he's looking for someone.

Helicopter. But there's also a big squirrel or something on that fence. In any case. Or something. That's what you were pointing at? Yeah, it's a squirrel. Where is it? Okay, now it's right side up, so I can tell it's a squirrel.

But it was upside down for a while. It's on top of that fence. Oh, there, I see. But yeah, so she basically figured out how to do the seven things that kind of came out good, where it was like, okay, I think I accomplished this. Meatloaf, it's onion. Yeah, yeah, and then did them for the rest of,

you know, our lives or whatever. And it's just so hard, whereas now we have so many resources of, like, you can look up any recipe online, or like you have a dish at a place that you really love. You can kind of go like, oh, what's in that? And then you look it up and like Kentucky Fried Chicken, you can learn how to...

Well, the problem, but it's a double-edged sword because now you can look up pornographic recipes. That's true, you look up porn, kids will see that. And it takes up your entire life and you can't even cook anything. The one thing I'm kind of good at that I've learned from a cookbook is vegan pad Thai. Oh, that sounds good. It is really good and I want to cook anything. The one thing I'm kind of good at that I've learned from a cookbook is vegan pad Thai. Oh, that sounds good.

And it is really good, and I want to make it again. Is it specie-spicy? No, I don't like spicy. Oh, you don't like spicy? But you can add your own spicy to it. Okay, fair enough. If you're being served by me. Does spicy does it upset your stomach?

Yeah, and I also just don't like the sensation of being like this is so hot I can't even see straight. I don't like People are always like that's so good. I don't like going that far. I like I like some spice, but I don't like I don't like it Where it's like I can't take this All right, we have to take a break speaking and not be able to take this and it's delicious He's afraid to talk about spicyiness. I'm too afraid. Let's go to a break. I can't take it.

Ah! And we're back. And it's time for a three-chir. And it's not confusing. OK, so. Listen, we've been getting a lot of messages from people, this is not a confusing thing that we do and it's never confusing and it's not this time either.

So I did see one comment where someone said that for. You saw all the comments. I don't always look at comments, but. Sure I do. But when I do, I look at all of them. They're all. The comment was about how Christmas find out who game. We used the same questions we did last year,

which I didn't realize. Oh no, did we? So we don't even remember. We don't even remember that, but I decided that. So that game is foolproof. We can do it every year. It's saying that wouldn't be funny to do the same questions every year and have the exact same opinions.

And we keep thinking, like, I feel like you've been to Spain. Yeah, I do know. But I'm sorry you presented to us like Josh or whatever, like these are new this time, but it's the same opinions. And we keep thinking like, I feel like you've been to Spain. Yeah, I do know. But I'm sorry you presented to us like Josh or whatever, like these are new this time, but it's the same ones. If you would do that to me the day or the minute after we recorded, I would go, oh yeah, okay. Well, that's bad. So this game is the same game as that, but it's not related to Christmas. Okay.

But it's the find out who game. And what we're going to do is each one of us will come up with a question as we go around and we'll write down who we think it is. Wait, we all have to come up with questions? Yeah, we'll just go like who's the most likely to blank. And then we write down. In the butt? Yeah, sure, you could say that. Blank blank, in the butt?

And then I'll write down like the question so we know what it was. Okay. And then just shut up. Here's what I need you to do. Why are you mad? No, man. Where's my phone? I just did a lot of work.

No, it's not. Okay. I'm in a fucking blind spot. Yeah, you dropped it very early in the show. Why didn't you tell me? Because I thought it was funny, not too. It was. Okay, so I'll start.

Okay. And we're writing down our answers to this? Yeah. Not too late. It was. Okay, so I'll start. Okay. And we're writing down our answers to this? Yeah. Okay. Who is the most likely person here to work with animals if they were not in their current job? Who is the most likely to work with animals?

Like would you be a veterinarian or a zookeeper or animal wrangler? Okay. Who out of the three of us has gotten into an argument with a neighbor? With like a... It doesn't have to be direct next door but with like a neighbor in their neighborhood.

Okay, Paul. Paul, who is most likely to be scared by a horror movie? I thought you were gonna say horse. Well, there goes my next question. Okay. Well, there goes my next question. Okay. Who is the most likely to love taking a road trip? You rolled your eyes when you said that, which makes me think it's not you. That's an interesting wrinkle to the game. Who here is most likely to be scared by a horse?

Scared by a horse. OK. Who here is most likely to give a child an unusual meme? Oh. Now we pause while Lauren writes down, not only her answer, but also the question. It was a long question.

It was a long one. I guess we can get rid of the who and most likely. Well, I don't write any of that. I don't you know, I skip that I'm not an idiot. Okay. This is like when you're on millionaire and the people who read it. Oh my god It's just crazy like the ABCD and then they're like okay. Is it? They tell you not to do that. They do. Okay. This is what I wanted to know. They coach you and say don't Well, they say if you can figure out a way to make the question shorter. Yeah, but good. Oh spanking question We've covered this. Okay. This is what I wanted to know. They coach you and say, don't like, just... They say if you can figure out a way to make the question shorter. Shorter, yeah.

Spanking pen. We've covered this. Okay. Spanking pen. Who is most likely to arrive late to a party? To a party? Like, very late. Okay. Oh, to a party. That changes my answer.

Party! That changes my answer party Changes my answer wait, oh they get a load of me Okay, who here is the most likely to jump out of an airplane go skydiving Go skydiving go skydiving yay Go skydiving. Go skydiving. Yay. For that one, for some reason, we're the person's last name instead of... All right. All right.

Who here is least afraid of spiders? Least afraid of spiders. Least afraid of spiders. Okay. Okay. One more round? Yeah. So we go to 12? Okay.

Yeah. Who... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think so. Who here is the most handy, like, at, you know, around the house? Hmm. Who here is most likely to have skipped a grade? Skipped a grade in school? Who among ye? is without sin? Who here is the mushiest when they are alone with their spouse?

Whoa. Wow. We are going to find out some shit. We're going to get real crazy. Okay. Now, time to go through it. Time to go through it. Now, as always, it's time to go through it.

Let's sing the song about the theme of the game. Okay. Here we go. Going through it. Find out who game the theme of the game. Okay, here we go, going through it. Game. I'll find out who game. I'll find out who game. Now it's time to go through it. Now it's time to go through it.

Now it's time to go through it. Now it's time to go. Blop, blop, blop. Perfect. One, who is most likely to work with animals? I, do we all say? I agree. Perfect one who is likely to work with animals I Do we all say I do we Well, I think it's obviously Lauren because when we went to Australia and she cried when she held the the what was it a koala It was that's called there. Yeah, I say Lauren. I said Lauren as well. I said Paul

Who is it actually There's two three sides every story I wanted to be a vet when I was a little kid But now I don't know that I like I like being around animals enough that I would feel like I'd have you have a cat right? I have a dog and a dog. Yeah, that's it's you Franny and zoo. All right fine. I Is it Franny and Zooey based on? No, it's Franny and Lulu. It's Franny and Ray Tyler Ruth B. Carpenter. See more.

I feel like I was not as interested in animals when I was a kid as I am now. Yeah. I have an affection for animals that I, it's not like I didn't like animals, but I just didn't. Yeah, I didn't like animals. I don't think I cared.

I don't think it was interesting to me. I used to think having a dog was a really weird thing. I would be like, it's just a bizarre concept to me. That's like a wolf. Why would you keep it? Let it be free. Okay, who's most likely to have gotten into an argument with a neighbor?

I said me because I have. Oh, I said Paul for some reason. I said me too. have. Oh, I said Paul for some reason. I said me too. Nice. Do you have you though, Paul? Yeah. Okay, so both of you have. Have you?

I don't think so. At the most, I used to take the broom handle and go bonk bonk on our upstairs. Up your ass. My ass would be like, what do you think of this? I'm gonna do you next if you don't be quiet. I'm gonna do you next? You don't be quiet.

I don't think I've ever, I'm trying to think. No, in fact, I've, oh, well there, we used to have a neighbor who was just kind of weird and she ran over to my house once. She was like, well, what are you gonna do about this? And I was just like, I'm sorry, who are you? I didn't like know who she was. She's like, I'm your neighbor. We met like twice. I'm like, oh, okay, sorry. Yeah. What are you talking about? She's like, what are you gonna do about this situation? I'm just like, I,

what are you talking about? She goes, you keep forgetting who I am. She goes, your tree that fell into my yard. I'm like, oh, I, and I had some people over at the house working on the house. And she's like, that's, isn't that why all these people are over here? To get the tree out of my yard? I'm like, no, they're just working on the house. They can though, do you want them to?

She's like, well, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't know that you didn't know that your tree fell over. Oh my God, what a situation. Anyway, that was the closest I ever came to an argument with me just like staring blankly at her going, what are you talking about? That's a good one though. And she felt very stupid. No, she was. She's fucking dumb. She's fucking dumb dumb. All right. Um, most likely to be... Hey, sorry. Oh, did you not answer me? Did somebody keep score? Oh, that's, is that part of what he

keeps score? We'll see. I actually was thinking about this and I kind of decided not to because... Yeah, I think it's... I thought... Who cares? I thought, well, what's the score? The score is... Find out who cares. Find out who cares. Who really is... Otherwise, I would just vote for myself the whole time.

It just feels hard. Okay, sorry. Just asking a question. No, because you always have to win. It was really necessary. Okay. Who's most likely to be scared by a horror movie? I said Lauren.

Me too. I almost said me. I thought that you liked horror movies. I didn't say you. I know I care about them less, but I used to be too scared. Oh. As of before 2020. I thought that you actually liked them, so I said Paul, because I like them and I thought

you liked them. They free-framed you. That's why I like them too. Oh, so it's Lauren actually. It is. Interesting. Okay. I do get scared by them, but I like them. I get scared by them, but I like them. Coolop can't even watch them, so. I know all about that. I don't get to see them all that much.

Devil mask. Yeah, I know. Who's most likely to love going on a road trip? I said Paul. I said me too. I said me, because I couldn't quite tell. I first said Paul, and then I was like, yeah, but I would too. So I just said myself.

True, but who would like it more? I thought it would be me, because then I started thinking about you. I thought it would be me, because then I started thinking about you. I thought it would be me, because then I started thinking about you. I thought it would be me Paul and then I was like yeah, but I would too so I just said myself true But who would like it more? I thought it would be me because then I started thinking about you me It is you yeah You guys should go on together now Called the trip I love those movies who's most likely to be scared by a horse Is that next yeah

What number is this that's five no I thought there was one in between I thought there's one in between two you do because he said horror film and I said horse Road trip was in between. Oh, oh, okay. Sorry. Oh So wait, but this is number this is five. Oh, okay, sorry. Oh. So wait, but this is number... This is number five. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said Paul is most likely to be scared by a horse. I said Scott. I said Scott. I've been on horseback riding. But you were scared. I have too. Were you scared? I guess I was a little like, am I going to end up like Christopher Reeve? But then once you get on, it's like fine. So I went, I did it at summer camp for like literally 10 minutes

But you they just put you on a horse and they led you around. Oh, I remember as a kid. It was scary Well, because you feel so high up. Yes, but I did it like I was ago and yeah I guess I haven't ridden a horse in a long time I feel weird about it like there because there's trails here where you can go and do it right But there's like on one hand on the one hand I really would like to do it. On the other hand, it feels weird to do that to a horse. Well, I think I've said this before.

You'd like to. I don't know if I've said it on a podcast, but... How could it like it? My belief is that when men get rich, they get into planes, and when women get rich, they get into horses. Yeah. Men also get into fucking boats. Yeah.

Boats suck. You have to be so rich to get into boats. I hate boats and for one love them Just rent a boat one day exactly your fill of boats We win fillable about the fellow boat stir We went horseback riding in Costa Rica. It was beautiful. Nice was on the beach. No in the cloud forest It was well sounds magical. This is the bougie podcast out there. Okay. Who's the most likely to give a child an unusual name? I said Lauren because I thought that she would name the kid after herself and her own name is unusual.

Wow. You? I said me. I said Scott. Oh. Wow. We don't... We'll never settle this, will we? We'll never settle this. Until one of us has a kid and names it.

But I guess Paul... Paul's the only one who's right, because he knows he would. Whoever is right. I don't know that I would, but I feel like I could see it. I feel like it's a thing that I've made fun of, but then I could see myself... Doing it. Accidentally doing it.

Whoever is right should get the kid that's born. Yeah, it's like Rumpelstiltskin. And the kid's name? Rumpelstiltskin. Okay, who's most likely to be very late to a party? Okay, so when you just said very late, I was gonna say Paul. That sucks. Because I said me too. I said Paul for the party. I didn't say Paul for the party because Paul is usually early to parties. Well that's because of Janie. Yeah.

Janie is like, we have to go now and then we get there. We're the only people there. I know, that's cool up to you. I'm like that too. Mike's really not like that so then we're more likely to be late. It's a party. But I'm also early to parties because I want to leave them early too. There's also that.

I love to leave. There's also that. I love to leave. I love to leave. Anyway, I said Lauren because I knew it wasn't me and I didn't think it was you, Paul, because of the fact that you're early to every party I've ever thrown. Mike makes me late to parties.

Oh, Mike does. He prefers to be late. What is he doing is her? No, he just like, he's like, let's just keep hanging out. I'm gonna go out. Let's keep hanging out. Sweet. He's so chill. He's very chill. Okay, so who's. And we'll go out. Let's keep hanging out. Let's keep hanging out, sweet.

He's so chill. He's very chill. Okay, so who's the most likely to jump out of an airplane? Paul, I said, but I don't think any of us would. I said Lauren because I don't think me or Paul would. I said Ockerman because I didn't know who would. Why am I last? I don't know.

I just wrote it that way. I don't think any of us would. I'm dismissive. None of us would do I'm dismissive. None of us would do that. Also, because of your contact, the way you have your contact card, your name always capitalizes. Oh.

When I write a Hacker Minute, automatically capitalizes. Yeah, it does on mine too, because I don't know why. Because that's how you have it in your contact thing. Who's the least afraid of spiders? I said Scott. I said Scott too. I said Paul, but it probably is me, so. I mean, I don't like them.

You know what I don't like is ants. Are you scared of ants? Well, are you scared of ants? The teeniest one. I think we've talked about the movie I saw where all the ants went crazy and the people had to breathe out of straws. Ants went crazy. And then a person went so crazy by it that they hallucinated the pool filled with water

and jumped out of the third story into the pool and they hallucinated there was water in it and then you go out there and it's empty and they broke their neck. I didn't like that. I liked it. Anyway, I don't like ants. Spiders I usually like, cool up the other day. Well, no, I'm sorry, that was a dead it. Anyway, I don't like ants.

Spiders I usually like, cool up the other day. Well, no, I'm sorry, that was a dead bird that she made me get rid of. But she'll always be like, there's a spider in this room and you have to get it. Okay, French knight. I do tend. There's a spider in the room and you have to get it. Tend to assume Mike should kill bugs. But it's kind of a, it's just kind of, I now I just kind of do it.

Because you have enough chores? Yeah, but sometimes I'll just go. I have to do the washing. I'll just go, I'll just get this and not even. So sometimes we get crickets and I really hate those. I don't like bugs in general. I have to deal with all the bugs. I'm not a big bug fan, but I will do it, but I'm not happy about it.

I will say bringing up Costa Rica again when we did go I love the trip was going to the beach and When we were there there are I think Basically crickets in your room in your hotel room all the time and they're up on the ceiling and all that and you just have to accept It that's a feature and above Did you get a mesh net around your no and I was just kind like, okay, well, I guess this is just part of it. But it's a little unsettling. And I just have this image of me watching Dr.

on my iPad while there are like crickets everywhere. Fuck that. What, Dr. Who or my iPad? Fuck that iPad. Who's the most handy? I just, I said me. This is 10. What number is this? Sorry, this is 10. This is 10.

I said me. I said Paul. I said Lauren. Oh! We were all handy. Let's get an IKEA thing here and figure out who puts it together first. I hung up my own curtains, which isn't easy.

That's not easy. I've become handy around the house in a way that I never anticipated that I would. And I do take pleasure in like figuring things out. I figured it out. When it's like... That's what he does, those things. When I'm like, oh, I know how to do this.

I think I know. And like, even if it's a first attempt and it doesn't work, and then I look up something, it's satisfying. It is satisfying. My mom called me three days ago. And well, first of all, I have her phone number is one of the ones that can like, even though my phone's on silent,

I will have it ring because like, if I'm sleeping and something went wrong. Yeah, yes. So like, I'm already unsettled that suddenly my phone is ringing. Yeah, the worst. I pick it up and she's just like Scott and I'm like, oh Fuck okay. What's you know, you're just waiting for these calls. What's going on and she and she like couldn't figure out how to get the TV off of

Netflix on to regular TV I'm like, oh my god, you're making it sound like an emergency. And so like I took her through what button on the direct TV thing to like press this, hold it down for two seconds. Okay, but now I can't move it. I'm like, okay, now keep pressing that button and it'll cycle through all the HDMI things. And she's like, what is HDMI? I'm like, well...

Don't worry about it. Well, that's the plug like everything. It's like a high definition plug that and she's like, oh, so each one of these is one of the things that's plugged into the TV. I'm like, yeah, what's the MI part stand for? So at the end, she finally like learns how to do it. And she goes, Scott, you're a genius. I just laugh at it like I'm not a genius. Oh my God, I love it. I just have had to do this kind of stuff. It's so funny. And set it up.

Anyway, okay. Okay. You are not a genius. Yeah, talk to my friends, Paul and Lauren. They'll set the record straight. We all know how to do this, Mrs. Ockerman. Hi, Mrs. Ockerman. Okay.

If she could figure out a podcast, I would be very scared about the things I say on this show. Who most likely to skip a grade? Which one is this? This is number 11. I said Scott. Who's phone is that? That's my mom calling you. Ms. Ackerman? I said Paul, but I know none of us. I said me because I was offered it. You were offered it? And I passed.

Why? Because I just didn't want to be younger than everyone in the grade. And now, don't you wish that you were? I wish I doogie-housered the shit out of this. My life would be so much different. Plus I was really smart and offered to skip grades, but then when they started giving homework, when I was 10 or 11,

I instantly became bad at school because I hate homework. I like hate any kind of like assignment or being told I had to do stuff. It's like, let me learn this shit in class. Homework is weird. It's a weird concept. Like you're there so long in school. You should be able to accomplish everything while you're there.

I never thought about it until I was well out of school and hearing parents talk about it. And maybe some teachers, I don't know, but the idea of like abolishing homework, like, yeah, we don't need to do that. It's also like kind of a classic because not everyone can do this stuff at home. Not everyone has the time and the resources and all that kind of stuff. And then you can fall behind

because you couldn't do that. But you can do everything at school. Do it all while you're there. Like when we go to work, you're there for eight hours or the same amount of time you're at school. You're not then like taking it home with you and going like, let me do some of this while I'm at home.

No, fuck that. Sometimes. You know, yeah, I guess. Okay, last question. Was she asked with their spouse at home? I said Paul. Lauren, what did you say? I said Paul, but then I just added and Scott together.

Kissing each other. I also said me. Yeah, I bet you are. I think you are. We say, I love you constantly at home. Yeah, to each other. No, never can we tell. Just sit on the wall.

Just sit on the wall. We say it under our breath. Oh, fuck, I love you. I love you. Ew. What? Nothing. Kuloff's very mushy with me.

Yeah, I can see that. That's kind of what was pushing me in that direction. Yeah. I thought maybe she can get him to mush it up of what was pushing me in that direction. Yeah. I thought maybe she can get him to mush it up with her. Mush the shit out of it. Is Mike mushy? We're both a little mushy, but I do feel like I would say... I view you guys as just like high-fiving at the end of the day.

And go, all right, time to sleep. That's... Later, bro. That's rude. Rude. But that's fine. You can have that imagery. What do you want me to imagine? That's what I'm fine. You can have that imagery. What do you want me to imagine?

That's what I'm saying. You can stick with that. But I do think that like COVID like really zaps the fucking like coolness. Oh. You don't leave each other for more than five seconds. Yeah. I mean we're doing fine. You know what I'm saying. You go off and do stuff and and then meet up at the end of the day and be like, what do you do? What do you do? And be excited to see each other. And now it's just like, just a constant. You're in my field of vision.

Yeah. 24 hours of day. Like I'm grateful that I... 24 hours of day. I have a partner that I'm excited to be around, but it's like, you know, it's a lot of time. It was not part of the plan. I have a partner that I'm excited to be around. I know, but still. You know, it's a lot of time. You want to swap? This is not part of the plan. AMT, HGF. AMT. Absence makes a hard girl fun.

America's Funniest Home Videos. It's close by Tyra Banks. All right. That's going to do it for this one. That was good. We learned more about each other. I enjoyed that, Lauren. Oh, here comes the sun now.

And the sun just suddenly came out. Good time to be able to move these umbrellas. All right, that's going to do it for this episode. Hey, hey, if you're having trouble moving your own umbrellas, we hear you. Yeah, give us a call. We'll move them. We all have to move our own umbrellas at some point. And we're no different. We love you.

Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week with more of this bullshit. Bye.