Threedom - Threevisiting: This Episode Is Not Titled "Dilly Dilly"

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss belly buttons and age differences in relationships. Then during their feature segment, the three hosts play Hyperthetical.

SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO!

SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! SREETO! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! We're here! She's burger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!

It's so bell, mail, mail! Hi everyone, we're back. It's us again. I'm a cross from the lady with a goat on her sweater. It's not a goat, it's a woman's inside. I'm a cross from a man with just a white shirt. That's right, nothing else. Dumbleduck in it.

That's right. Quack, quack. And I am right across from this motherfucker where two shards Steve Bannon styled. Steve Bannon's just Scott Ockerman. The Steve Bannon wear one button down with a T-shirt on him. No, you wear two button downs on top of each other.

It's the, you gotta look for pictures. And fatigues. It's so crazy. I don't understand. That's like a, is that like a rich preppy look? It's a, yeah, some sort of naval affectation. I don't really. Is that like a rich, preppy look? It's, yeah, some sort of naval affectation. I don't really know what it is.

A naval affectation. Oh, I don't know. Oh, wow. I mean, from the Navy, not the belly button. I can't. He had a expectation from his belly button. Is it how to do his mummy? Oh, he looks like he's just floating away in them.

Welcome to the show, everyone. This is the show where we just talk about stuff. Yeah, do this tight. Do it tight. You just thought it. You just thought it. It's tight. It's tight.

I dated someone without a belly button. What? What? Who but? Was it Patricia Eaton? Why did she not have one? Or he? Thank you.

Because of some sort of way that she was born. It was interesting that she's not a clone. Because of some sort of way that she was born. It was interesting. Because of some sort of way that she was born. Clone, no, bad. Do you not have an embellical core? This is a sex zone. No, you have to have an embellical core. It was through some other, it was not in that part of her body or something.

It was interesting. What? You need to have more info. It sounds like a day and a lot. It's a while ago. I don't recall the deets. So how was the tummy? Was it weird? You need to have more info. It sounds like a while ago, I don't recall the deeds. So how was the tummy?

Was it weird? It was, I mean, there was nothing that, what's weirder is the fact that we all have something there, isn't it? Sure, but we all do. No, it's not. But you know what I mean? It's like, I knew it if you ever did.

Was it shocking or was it more like you were just like, okay. It would, I mean, it definitely was, it was interesting. It was definitely one of those things where I'm like, oh, this is your brain doesn't register it the right way of like, oh, there should be something there, but it certainly is, you know, I would just. To see have a hole somewhere else that you saw like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm gonna sucks. Is that what you're asking? No, it was your belly button, but it was on our butt. Like where the, I'm just saying, was there a place

where like you would put the bicycle pump in to pump her up every now? Yeah, you fucking adult. You like a adult. You like a adult. What if I was in a relationship with a sex doll? I, there are people. There are people like large or the real girl.

Have you watched like those shows where it's like my strange sex addiction or whatever? No, I saw one about someone who ate drywall. Oh yeah, my strange addiction. That one, the woman who's like, I eat couch and she just eats like the same. I eat couch. And the doctor like found out that she'd eaten like many cushions up to that point. Like she would just swallow a cookie. She would just like, we should grab the stuffing.

Was she dreaming of eating a marshmallow? Yeah. She would be shouldn't grab the like the ripple bowl stuffing, not like cotton, but like when it's like kind of kind of. I'm just seeing the cotton. Yeah, the fabric of her. The fabric of a relish. The fabric of a relish. Yeah, the ladyway drywall, that was she would just sit on the couch and she would like

reach into a hole that she had dug into her wall and then she would just like. But it's the thing, it's called pica. And it's when you have... I have a pica. Oh, I've only read it. I think it's pica. Okay. It's when you have a desire for something like that dirt or something which has a lot of

iron. So you're actually trying to fulfill a need that your body has. Right. Women happen to pregnant women. Yeah, and babies. I mean, like kids, like, but they'll eat dirt. But it's interesting. My nephew who's a baby eats a, eats dirt and sand like at the, oh my God, so much.

Like you go to the beach and you just like eating the sand. As I just he needs something and he's not getting what is he because that made me think about that when I heard that you see great butts yeah he loves he loves the girl I love when a baby eats dirt they like grab a hell out of a potted plant or something and then they have that look on their face like a she was like this're cheering it like. This isn't what I have to say. What does that mean? He likes it. He likes it. He likes it, he likes it. Hey, Mikey.

Hey, we all know that one. Yeah. This is usually the show where Paul and I know references that Lauren does not know and vice versa. Yeah, that's true. So I'm glad that we all found common ground on this. I know. Can you think of a reference that we definitely don't know?

Yeah. OK, just with it. OK, actually, I was going to mention the last episode I know. Can you think of a reference that we definitely don't know? Yeah. Okay. Cheers with it. Okay, actually I was gonna mention the last episode but I was like, let's gonna go nowhere to know what I'm talking about. But maybe, will. Do you know the show Weinerville that was on Nickelodeon

in the early 90s? And it was, but I thought you might know it because I'm assuming a comedian who did this show, like a man, and he would be the, it would be his head. When you were describing the puppet that your dad made me think of this. It would be his head and then like a little body,

like he'd be like a puppet of himself. Isn't Nick the Pollo? I don't know the name of the guy. Oh, his name was Mark Weiner. Oh yeah, okay. I know what the comedian is, but I know I didn not know about the show. Interesting.

He had a kid show. He used to do this on stand-up stages. He used to have like a little tiny body. Yeah. Well, he would. And it also finds me on the Mr. Show's guy. Yeah, he would do it. So, I still don't remember this.

Yeah, he had like a little table and then he would put, because I think he did this as a street performer too. Right. He would have like a little sort of black box on the stage where he would make his fist into a puppet, on a puppet head on a body and do little stuff. And an interesting thing about him was, he was an Orthodox Jew and he could not do

Saturday night shows. So it was always like, that's where the money is. When he would come to town, we would get more work because he couldn't do, he could only do this Friday show. So everyone got to do, like if you were working, if you were the MC, you got to then be the feature actor. And was he big like people? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yes, absolutely. So this was a big deal. He got the show, but you didn't know about it. Well, back then, you wouldn't watch that. Exactly. But if you were a comedian and you had any sort of appearance on TV, it would be a big deal when you came to. Oh, absolutely.

You know what I mean? Because he's comedy on the road. Yeah, well, interesting. That's cool. Okay, well, I'll try anything of another one. Um. Like, you know what I heard the other day was, I guess, Dilly Dilly is a thing?

I don't know what that is. I don't know. I just saw something about that. I don't know what that is. And I said that the other day and my friend was like, yeah, dilly dilly. Like everyone knows what dilly dilly is. Joe Winger posted a picture,

self-reported shirt and said, dilly dilly, I was like, what is that? I only know it from a bud light commercial. That's what it's from. That's, but everyone says it. That's right on. Everyone says it. It makes me furious.

I don't really say this. It's like, where's the beef? Is it ironic? No, everyone loves it. Wait, what does it mean. I don't know I don't understand what it means on the commercial. Okay. It means the best kind of person or thing you rescue me when I was blackout drunk Dilly-dilly So okay

So it was a thing before this bud like no It can't be from it cut on to that extent. Now I want you to give a reference that I might not know, but not superhero comics really excited. I just wouldn't know that anyway. Okay, okay. From something from like a commercial maybe from our childhood. Hi guy.

Do you remember that? Oh, that's so ancient. There was a commercial. Do you know that? Ancient Chinese secret. I don't think so. The Calgon commercial. Calgon first comes away. Is Calgon still around? Yeah, they are. I feel. So Calgon was a detergent. It was a dish soap. and I guess it was some sort of bath. I know. I knew it as like body spray.

It was also well, there's a, there was a commercial. This ran for a million years. Yeah. Where this woman goes into pick up her dry cleaning and she says to the Asian man behind the counter, how do you get this stuff so? Our stuff is so amazing. Yeah. How do you, how do you do it? And he says, ancient Chinese secret.

Yeah. And then she sees it. Then no, she doesn't see. Oh, we cut to the back of the dry cleaners. Wait, this is from the swimsuits. There's the wife. Oh no. There's the wife who says to the camera, my husband, some hot shot.

All right. Here's this ancient Chinese secret, Calgon, and then we talk about Calgon. And then the woman, the white woman, is about to leave the store. Peter. And the wife, the Asian wife appears from the back and says, in ear shot of this round eye, we need more Calgon.

And then the white woman turns around and says, ancient, Chinese secret, huh? Oh, wow, I love it. Yeah, yeah. And that, and we saw it so many times that I cannot hear certain things without thinking ancient, Chinese secrets. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, that's good. But hi, what's hi, guy? Hi, guy was, I can't remember what the product was. Hi, guy. It was like an alky's elsewhere Adion or something, but there was a guy would open his medicine cabinet and there was another guy on the other side It was like they shared a medicine That's very one of those apartments. Oh, I see a little

I got it. Yeah play it. Yeah sure Side note I just watched Jeopardy yesterday and Alex Tremac I never heard of Bob Ross. What a fucking idiot. How? What a dumb douche. Who are you? I just saw one guy.

And the neighbor who didn't say anything, we shared the same medicine. He has a new body department. So it's how you do it? Get an apartment. Well, there was a series. Oh, okay. Sure, just like the Mr. Microphone was. That's all about that.

I think the regular right, God. Yeah, one, stop. Oh, right, God. There it is. Wow. Well, that's... Dilly, Dilly, I guess, is exactly the same thing where they have said it. Well, like, what is that? They've said it so much. And now, everyone says it. Football players say it's like That's so stupid

Made too. Don't you wish because that commercial is stupid, but isn't there part of you that wishes you could write commercial? Of course job. I Feel like I think that would be miserable. I would be I just feel like I could do it so much better I but I think where at this point now where everyone thinks that well I could Where at this point where they just show you the most random thing. And just get your attention. It has nothing to do with anything. It's totally random.

I haven't even watched. I haven't watched a commercial in years, I feel like, because of streaming and DVRs and stuff. So when stuff like this happens, I don't even know about it. I don't even know that commercial, though, that daily, daily. I don't think I've watched a live event. Here's what it is. It's a bunch of people, and it looks like a medieval times. What are we talking?

Two. No, it's like a medieval quote. It's like 250 problems, right? Yes, sure. It's like a medieval court, but everyone is 25 years old. And so there's a king and queen at this banquet, this long banquet table. And there they are. They are. They're so fuckable. I mean, I think about. I want to break a nut. Oh, my. Oh, okay. Coating. Oh, my nut. I broke a nut. I actually, I want to damage a nut. What

I feel like I told you this story, but there was a kid I grew up with who had a skateboard injury and lost her trusticle. Oh no, his technical sleeve out. Oh, then the one that won dirt. The Nautilus Wunder. That's what I called Hitler. It was. Yeah, so what did it,

why do we know that? Did it slide like down his leg? I don't know what happened with it, but I just heard about it. I bet you got Twisted and then got exploded. There's nothing about what she said that indicated. I'm imagining his ball sack got sliced open and just one came like,

and one ball, not just just out of the bowl. Almost like an egg just, you know, like, sliding down a little bit. And then he got a nutical. A nutical? That's for dogs. When you get your dogs, balls cut off. You can give them some fake balls.

They don't never know. They're different. Yes, and they're called nuticles. Literally, I don't understand why. Don't they get over it, like within one hour? There's never been over it. Wait, but do they really want them? I don't know why.

That's honestly, I honestly don't know why. Like, the balls are not the thing that I'm like, the proudest of. Like, if we got rid of them, I think it's a guy, I just, I'm like, we're balls flying. I gotta get in there. I gotta get out them balls. I gotta know what them balls are. Like, if I happen to be neutered or whatever, you know, or chemically castrated, whatever

you got willing. But if they were just like, hey, you don't have balls anymore, I wouldn't be like, gotta get some fake ones down there. I gotta say I Feel like it would be weird. Well, do you think they're more trouble than their worth? But I miss them if they were gone. Do you think much like the woman I dated without the belly button? She should have drawn like a little like spiral on her belly. Yes Pretended she should have done it every day. You don't want to see me Crawford with a mole. Do you want 90 day fiance? No That's the best show on TV. Um, but

Was one guy who was who had a sect to me 15 years before he was with this woman. He was like he kept saying well You know I've been fixed. You know I was fit Was it Bob Barker? Yeah What now what the fuck were we talking about? Wait, are you looking to be we're gonna tell medieval What are you looking to be? We're gonna tell it medieval times. Medieval, this commercial. Yeah. So people are bringing, they're apparently,

they've journeyed from other lands. To bring gifts. They're bringing gifts to the king and queen. And so I brought that, but I brought that. Somebody brings, and after each gift is presented, the king and queen say, dilly, dilly. And then everyone in the court says, dilly, dilly. It's so annoying.

I like it now. Oh, I really do eat. Probably start's so annoying. I like it now. What? Dilly, Dilly. Probably started saying it to you. I like it. I was watching it. I was like, no, no. Why not?

Don't say Dilly, Dilly. Guys, don't do it. Dilly, Dilly, Dilly, Dilly. I like it now. It makes me think of a Dilly bar from Dairy Queen. Never had one. Let Paul finish his story, Dilly, Dilly. No, Dilly, Dilly.

It sounds story. I'm recounting a commercial. Tell us the story. Tell us the story. Tell us the story, Dilly, Dilly. No, Dilly, Dilly. It sounds story. I'm recounting a commercial. Tell us the story. Tell us the story, Dad. Dilly, Dilly. Dilly, Dilly. What if you were a dad and you only told like, I was good night stories, you were like,

I'm good night stories. So they're all medieval fuckable teams. Okay, so this is round eye. So what, how's it? So three frogs on a brand. So someone brings Buzz Light and they all say that's the best. They say, Dilly, Dilly, well, he doesn't bring enough for everybody or something like that. And so he's beheaded or some shit.

But what's weird about the commercial is you feel like in the commercial, this is a reference to something else. Right. And I read an article about it and they, it's just made up for that. It's just made up for that. They do admit that there is like maybe a song in the like 30 years ago called Dilly Dilly or something, but it was just made up for that.

I bet that who made that up is like, so he's just a pussy. So hard. I bet he's got all his balls. He's like, Dilly, Dilly, bitch. I bet he like me talking about Papa, goes up to someone in a bar, goes, you ever see Dilly, Dilly?

I wrote that. And there are other boys or Dilly, Dilly, Dilly. I wrote that. Are you okay? None of that makes sense. Lauren, are you watching the Bachelor? Yes. I, are you, I think about that with like people

and they're having these first conversations with people. Yes. When I'm having a conversation with someone, I think about Lauren watching the bad. Same. I watched it last night. I don't know what I'm saying about it, but I. Well, like you feel bad there.

Had they had these awkward moments on film. Yeah, I guess so, but they also don't ever seem to have normal. I wish someone would have a normal person conversation. I know. It's so insane. Like everyone's like, but then they wouldn't be on the show. I know. They're immediately approached the kind they're like, I watched you on your season five years ago. I feel like we have a lot in common. My dad died. I don't know. I lost that. My dad died. Oh my god. Still doing. And then they're making out. It's like really nasty. I don't know. The first episode would you ever. Would you ever make I was someone on TV?

Uh, I can't imagine what scenario that would happen. In a reaction. In a reaction. Oh, the yeah. Dallas Reigns, tonight we have Laura Lackis making out with me point flat head fist. At full. with me point flat head face Yeah, I'd be into that I get a self-tanner. Can you imagine I remember I Remember I

I don't know I was made out with someone on Halloween. Maybe I talked about this I was wearing kiss makeup and it rubbed off on her face. Yeah, yeah. Cause I made all the clowns and I was just like, Oh, okay, okay, okay. But remember, I remember I'm big brother, one of the first couples to ever have sex on that show. And then I saw her in person.

And I was like, there's that woman who had sex. I felt like it was the scarlet letter. I felt like there's that Harley. On the bachelor, it's a little different because you don't see anything besides making out usually. But on like real world, you'd see people in bed like in the fuzzy black and white. Yeah, you'd see their butt pumping.

They would like show that. So crazy. So big it tonight. Oh my God, David. Come on, baby, tonight. I watched the first season of the real world and then I didn't watch it again until that season. Oh, it was exactly the same. Oh, yeah, well It's the formula was like so they got it so different down, but then it turned a corner now. It's just like now it's terrible

But like seasons three four five six seven eight. I did it. I did it. I do think that I feel Weird when I realized how much older I am than everyone on the show now. That happened to me. I remember I was watching the real world. I was really into it and they said, hey, do you want to apply for the real world? I had no interest in it, by the way.

Yeah. Let that be said. But you were heirs parked up. But they said, are you between the ages of 18 and 25 and I was 26 and I was like, I'm old. Two old? Yeah, that's so weird. And everyone on the bachelor, there's a lot of people I was 18, 25, and I was 26, and I was like, I'm two-who holds? Yeah, that's so weird. And everyone on the bachelor,

there's a lot of people where they're like 22. Well, that's the thing, I was watching the bachelor the other day, and you know, part of the other day? Just, and I was walking down the street just the other day. I just ran into things that happened to you. But I, you know, sometimes when you're watching that show, it's like, okay, how would I act in this situation? Yeah.

And obviously I'm married. I'm never going to be in that situation. But you start to like, okay, if I were in this situation, but then seeing everyone be 22, 23 or whatever, I'm like, I, what if there was bachelor, but for old people? Well, it should be. Oh, I actually have been saying this for years. The bachelor should be every season should be a brand new person who's never been on the show before.

So there's no preconceived notions about what they're like or what they're into or what they did with the last person. And then it should be all people who are of age or they might actually really want to get married. Yeah, yeah, because all the 22 year olds are just looking to be on TV. It's so crazy. So unlike the first season, the couple is still together and they have kids and stuff

and like that has happened since then, but they've been together for like 15 years. Second year's time I ran in Tristo. Yeah. Season two. Season two, sorry. Who was season one? The season one was this guy and he was like,

they made him seem so cool. Oh my God. Oh my God. I remember this vivid I remember this vividly they were on a horse and carriage in New York City. And the person had a whip for the for the horse. No. And he he said he made a they might be giant song reference where he was like minimum wage. He was awesome. And I was like this guy's just a door. I'll be awesome. And I was like, this guy's just a dork. Wow.

And they were like that because he's a normal guy, but they were making him out to be this super honky swap. You know what was on the vassal that I didn't like the other night was when the guy was like, I'm actually a nerd. I hate him that I scream. And then the woman goes, I'm a nerd too. It's like neither of you are a f**k nerd. You're not nerd, you suck. There's a different you suck dick

You suck my dick. No, but actually I'm really totally a nerd. What do you mean, bitch? You're just I hate that. Yeah, I pay I live through a book once. Yeah, I'm actually really like a nerd like actually like really like comics It's not even that they don't even like nerds. They don't follow what we mean. They're trying to say like, I don't even like going out to bars all every night. I sometimes just like to sit around at home. That usually isn't it.

I'm a nerd. I love staying home. And you're like, no, you're just a fucking agoraphobic. I'm like a nerd about it. Like I know. I know everything about my house. We need to take a break.

Bye. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Do you know the white shadow, Lauren? No.

It was a TV show. Was it a car? It's a good name for you. It's a good name for you. It's a good name for you. It's a good name for you. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Do you know the white shadow, Lauren? No.

It was a TV show. Was it a car? It's a good name for a car. It's not bad. It's a really good name for a car. Why do they name cars after, they seem to name them after animals or nonsense? You know, like Acura or whatever.

Oh, you know what, in Japan, I noticed that thing, I'm sorry, but I want to thank my mom. So many Japan stories. I don't mean, I actually know what? In Japan, I noticed that thing. I'm sorry. I want to thank you. So many Japan stories. I don't mean, I actually am very upset with Japan. But one thing I loved was that a lot of the cars had names like Carol. Like the design. Like, yeah. Carol.

It was like, I would take picture because they were like, they're crazy. It'd be like, the Jane or like, it would just be someone's name. Volkswagen made a car called the thing. Oh, I remember that. Very briefly. I like that. In the 70s. It was a cool looking. I was like sort of, it was a sort of shortened station wagon kind of. And it was like a Mushnik station wagon. It was like two Mushniks. Do you think, okay, do you think you could drive like you would, yes. Of course, I passed my test. You would drive an SUV. I have driven an SUV.

Yeah, I've driven as rental cars, but I don't think I would wanna do it every day. I liked being sort of taller than other cars. I always have a car that's taller, and I really like that. I've been thinking about getting a bigger car. Ooh, bigger than one. Even bigger than tall.

Yeah, really tall. What if you just drove a Macbook everywhere? No, but more. I believe you hate cars that are unnecessarily huge, like a Hummer. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more.

No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more. No, but more.

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License to kill my mother It was come on my mother. What if you could buy a license to kill your mother? I wouldn't do it how I bought a license to kill my mother You know guys my mom's dead. Yeah I license to kill your mother. I wouldn't do it. How I bought a license to kill my mother. You know guys, my mom's dead. Yeah, I'm sorry. She's dead. My dad too. We know.

No parents. I'm sorry. Do you consider yourself to be? No, no, no parents, no service. Do you consider yourself? I took my shirt off. Do you consider yourself to be an orphan or is that something where you can only be an orphan

until you're 18? Oh yeah, orphan means, yeah, you're consider yourself to be an orphan or is that something where you can only be an orphan until you're 18? Oh, yeah, or orphan means yeah, you're not an orphan as an adult. I don't like when when adults say I'm an orphan sincerely. Do they? People say that all the time. Well, because their parents are dead. Yes, but are they talking about it? Of like they were in orphan since they were young? No, I think that when they're in their home, like their other parent dies then, and then they're like, So that should be like something when you're 18, you can buy cigarettes, you can read a playboy, but you have to stop saying you're a lady bird.

I just don't like that, but I mean, also do whatever you want. I take it back. You know, if anyone's out there and they're like, that's how I cope, then fun. I've never felt that you're a judgmental person until right now. Really? That's so nice.

Baby, guys. Hey, we want to talk to you about this. Okay. I watched the movie, call me by your name. I want to see that. Call me by your name. And in the, Tell me,

I want to see that. Call me by your name. And in the... Tell me, honey. I'll share. In the movie, there's, you know, it's about a love affair. Yeah. And it's very... You sing. It's a lot of... It's a lot of to say. I love you.

I love you. Sex. And it's a really lovely, beautiful movie and well-acted. The love affair is between a 17 year old boy and a 24 year old young man. Yeah. And I didn't realize that before I started watching that there was an age difference. And it was really difficult because

Army Hammer plays the 24 year old. And he's older than 24. And he's older than 24. He's like 30s. He's 31. Okay. But he's also than 24. And he's older than 24. But he's like his 30s. He's 31. Okay. But he's also, he's gigantic. He's like a big person.

And he's like cut out of marble. Yeah. He's like a cut out of a slab of marble. I am older than him. Isn't that disgusting? That's disgusting. You want to feel, I'm a him or is younger than you? I can go.

But I'm so weird. I remember I had that about Playboy Playmates once. I remember like in my 20s. Sure you were all they were like well, you know like when I was in when I was in junior higher high school and it was like who a playmate they're all like these they're like as old as your mother right and then then very similar to real world in my 20s I was like wait these are all 18 because when you're young ages, everything's the same. Like someone who's 22 is the same as someone who's 35. Not to interrupt you, Paul.

But here's the thing, is that while I was watching this, because I'm so far away from both of those ages, I was like, wow, this is, like, is that? I honestly was trying to remember, is this okay? Right. Do you know what I mean? Would that have felt weird at that time? Yeah, because I'm looking at it from the point of view of like,

oh, that 24 year old is taking advantage of that 17 year old. Yeah. And so I totally forgot, when I was 17, I had a 24 year old girlfriend. Ooh. What? I completely forgot.

There's a weird lead up to a brag. Well, because I'm looking at it from this, I'm looking at it from the standpoint of like, oh no, he shouldn't be doing this with this young kid. Right. And I completely forgot, I never, I never looked at it from the standpoint of the younger person. Right. No, I was, you know, I understand because when I was 42, I had a 17 year old girlfriend and I felt like

I But you know this actually happened on terrace house Hi, I'm Terrence house and welcome to another all terrorists. Yes, okay. I don't want to watch this Well, it was a conversation about someone dating a girl who's 11 years younger than him and the girl keeps questioning it She's like 17 18 and everyone else is going like, it's fine as long as you think it's fine or whatever. And I was thinking about myself. That's usually the credo that I like to live by.

You know, it's fine as long as I think it's fine. Credo's up first. I was thinking about myself at that time, though. And it was like, to know what I know now versus what I know a new then. And like, I had a couple sort of pseudo relationships to be more older than me. But it's like, I don't, I look at that now

and I'm like, that's weird of them. I know, that's exactly. Did you think, why did you think you're, do you now think yours is weird? I guess I don't because I can't, I can't separate my experience, which was that even though I was like a, you know, very immature, I was mature in certain ways where I never thought of her as being immature, like down on my level.

Of course, I thought of myself as up where she works, you know. And it was, and we were together for a year, you know, we like moved in together and everything. How did you meet her? Were you in, were you in school? I was in the process of dropping out of school. And I know this must have been after I dropped out. What is this process? Wait, when did you drop out? I dropped out after a semester of college. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just wait. You were in college at 17. is that? Yeah, because I was my birthday September. So I graduated at 17 and then I guess going into 18, I was... Okay, so you were almost 18. And I had gotten a job on South Street and Philadelphia, downtown, and I was walking down the street

just a day with a friend of mine who was similarly dropping out of college in the process. People on the street, don't even get it. Drop it on a coat. with a friend of mine who was similarly dropping out of college in the process. That he got it. Drop it on a coat. And I saw this. Dilly, dilly. Dilly, dilly, dilly. Oh, yeah.

Dilly, dilly, dilly. You saw this woman and you were like, dilly, dilly. I was just into a wonderful place of having forgotten that that existed. And not us. I'll never forget. And so this girl was walking towards us. and then I was like struck by her. She was very pretty.

What? You were struck by a, you thought I'd do the ghost. Did she take you with a pan? She hit me with a pan. Stop. You were ridiculous. Lauren, you guessed it. So she walked into this store and I said

to my friend, let's go into that store. And so I, I've never, I don't think I've done this. I had done it before. Repentance point. It's good. It's good to work in. It's working. I started, I just started talking to her and she was really funny. And, and so I think, I don't remember, I, I, so I went to my job and then I think I would. What was your job at the time? I was wearing hats in the bell free. Oh right. You're very famous. That's right. Stand up. Exactly. Go check out your album. Labyrinth under delusion. I have heard about this. You've heard about it. Yes, by watching your stuff. King hat. That's right.

My favorite king hat famous king hat. That's right. Yes. And so I would, I would stop it in the store and then she would stop it in my store. And then we went out on a date. But it was like, I never, I never, I think it's the, when did you tell the only time did she ever think you were older and did you have to say, Oh, by the way, I'm only 17 almost 18. I am 17 going on 18. We must have had that conversation with you. I want to date you. But I don't care if you are to old for me.

Okay, can I talk to you, Rajas? Never started for a second. This song, Love the Melody. You like it? Love it. I like the general idea of where you're going. Wait till you hear the next part. Hey, it's me, Henry Steve, sorry I'm late.

You are cutie going on booty, bend it, and let me slap. Be quiet. Okay. All right. Maybe this one is such a good idea. I'm enjoying it. So we are personal. No, to do this podcast. Oh yeah, no, yeah. We're saying this is shut it down. This is such a good idea. I'm enjoying it. So we are personal. No, to do this podcast.

Oh yeah, no, yeah. We're saying this is shut it down. This is the end. Goodbye. Oh, really? Really, really. So wait, so you must have had a conversation. We must have had a conversation, but I don't remember it.

It was obviously not an issue, because we kept dating. Yeah. Interesting. Do you think that she just liked your personality or she had a thing for the young ins or was it just... Did you have mustache? No, I did not. Interesting.

I did not. Was it... You had a period of time in your stand-up career without a mustache in my craft? Oh, that's very true. Yeah. That's also true. I don't think I ever dated anyone with a mustache? With a mustache.

Yeah, so I don't know. They got rid of it. No, no one with a wide gap. I see. I I I Except for only only got to win with perfect thigh gaps except for a cool up. Oh, how what's your different? You really made up for it there because

it's real May December 6th. What is it? 10, 10 years. 12, oh, 10. Just 10. Actually, what is it? 10 years. Oh, 10. Just 10. Actually, it was a 50. Yeah, I, like, went on some dates with someone who was nine or 10 years older than me. But, yeah, it was Pete Holmes and, thank you, give me a roll. Was there a teacher that had an affair at your school? With a student? We talked to students. We talked about the person who was in the play at the ear.

Oh yeah. But there was another, I forgot there was another English teacher who like, oh my god, there was another one. There were three, two of the teachers looked alike, by the way. They looked alike, was that mean? They were friends and they were like, I like this guy's style. And so they looked alike or. Yeah, that's what it was.

Great. Or do you just mean physically, like genetically? They physically, they were both shortage guys with the same haircut and mustache. And they were both, they were both Italian. So serotonially as well as genetic. Well, all the teachers kind of dressed exactly the same.

Oh, that because it was a Catholic school, yeah. They all wore like, you know, dress shirts and ties and slacks. Right, right, yeah. Yeah, in our school, you could wear whatever. What about the teachers? What about the teachers? Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, yeah, same.

Like, I remember our English teacher came wearing a bikini once, which was a big talk. No, that didn't. Yeah, that's it. It was the big talk, Lauren. We really? once, which was a big talk. No, that didn't. Yeah, that's it. It was the big talk, Lauren. Wait, really? Yeah, she was the hot teacher. I've talked about this on Twitter.

Wait, watch! That is fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah, that was weird. I was wearing a Mary K. something. We didn't I then tell the story probably. I'm assuming of my hot gym teacher who... No.

Tell us. She was young. I don't. No. Tell us. She was young. I don't know. I mean, you're. I know. I knew her. She was probably like 24, maybe younger. So could a dated one of us, really.

But then like she would be very, very flirtatious. And then one of the guys in my class slapped her on the ass one day in the gym. And then he got in big trouble. But it was like this huge turning point of like, it can't go that far. Right. Oh, she would flirt. But then she would flirt that. It was enough that he thought it was okay to do that, which I mean, I actually think was like, it was happening. Like we all witnessed it. It's happening. And then she also, I learned a very big lesson from her, which is always where I see belt and cabs because she was in a cab and there was a sudden stop and her face went into the plastic thing.

And she busted off teeth and she had a black face forever. Black guys, she was really pretty and she had her whole face up. I mean, I'm sure healed fine, but it was crazy. Yeah. Every time in a cab or a car, a back seat, I think of that. And I'm like, I'm not going be that person. He's like too lazy. Did you ever have the driving round in a pickup truck in the back of a pickup truck?

No, we didn't do that. We would do that in church groups sometimes. It's like down the freeway here in California. That's so crazy. You can see me. But I remember it was a big thing where you'd be like, oh, can I sit in the back? I totally wanna do that now.

It's so adventurous. I can't even imagine that. That's so scary. You'd feel so unmoored. Yeah. Yeah. What happened? Did one of those teachers have an affair with someone? One of the teachers had an affair. And I think he got fired.

You fired? But don't drop it. Um, and I think he got fired. You fired one. My Donald Trump. Hey, they, they, they, they brought me down to this high school just so I could save my baby. I just feel it off your hired me. Um, who does a better job? You were here. Here's mine. Hey, I'm Donald Trump.

I don't know. Trump helped me. I'm stuck. That's I'm going to a door. And you do like a, like a giant door too. That garage. That fucking picture of him from New Year's Eve in the Tuxedo, where he's just like, he looks like a whale and he's just got his mouth open.

And this guy, really fun to go on Twitter, Patrick Monahan, just wrote, just like posted the picture and then just wrote, but he liked it so perfect. I am getting so sad like about all the politics. I just am like at a point where I want it to stop. Oh, it's, it's hugely demoralized. Like I was, I was talking about this on Twitter the other day. Him Donald Trump saying I'm, I'm going to give out my awards for fake news. Oh God.

I know. What are you doing? It's just such an idiot. It's just so sad. Anyway, anyway. Well, I mean, I don't like anyone. I like him. I think he's funny. Okay, good.

We need someone speaking for good. I think he's fucking hilarious, but I don't like. He's fucking hilarious. Don't stop. Listen to you guys. He bothers you so. Don't get me wrong. I love him.

You guys can't stop talking about him. Guys who doing something right. I hate that. Um, so wait. So, but another of the teacher, he ran off with the student. It was a girl that I went to. So this is what I was going to say about you in the 24-year-old. There seems to be such a wide swath of maturity, but that movie didn't bother me, call me

by your name, because I don't think movies have a responsibility to do the morally right thing in movies. I think it's just like this, this is the type of thing that happens. It's a story. No, I never felt like the movie was at fault. It was more like I didn't know how to judge their release. It was, yes, it was a thing. Well, because it was always this part of it, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it is the age difference significant and is it part of the story? Right. And in a way it is, you know, it's like, but it's more about, you know, this kid's, you know, experience and this wonderful thing that happens, it's like that's romantic and it's sad and it's frustrating and it's, you know, it's everything.

It's like life. It's like life. Yeah. But I guess what I mean is there's such, I've never quite understood that about like teachers falling in love with students because, or at least until you got to college, because it doesn't seem like if you're under 18. Well, it's also, what's so crazy about it is it's the one thing you absolutely are not

supposed to be. Well, I think that's what you're like. It's your one job. But you have one job. Don't fuck them. No, but I think I. Don't fuck them. No, but I think I think I want to teach them. I think about that sometimes of like relationships, I just don't like fun.

Yeah. Can you get through a day? Who cares if you teach them? Just don't fuck them. But I think about relationships I had in high school or whatever, you know, like, but, you know, when I was 17, I was dating a 16-year-old. And it's like, it's, and you think in nowadays, I go, oh, is that weird though? Like to have a...

No, I think... But when you're a kid, like, and you're just, it's whoever is sort of at the same level as you, you know? Yeah, but I think... It's not like if I were to see, if I have saw a 30 year old I'd be like you're too old for me. Well, that's what's complicated. I think because when you see somebody in a relationship like that and they act like that's fine or whatever, it's weird because for me now I think that's a child. Like I'm 32 and I'm out with I'm going to high school or I'm like you're a little kid.

Yeah, that was my thing. The idea of somebody being into that, like dating you on a peer level is confusing to me. And you know, but another, because I'm older than that even, and I, when I look, No, I'm 35 years old, guys. I'm okay. Okay.

I'm 29, and I, Okay. All right. Dilly Dilly. Dilly Dilly, what do you want? Scott, I tried to bring back the Jack Benny lying about your age. When I look at someone who's 24, I see that as so young.

So it was weird to experience this movie where all of us, but so much of what I think was about the casting because he looks like such a, he looks like a middle aged man, like a great looking middle aged man. Well, I always said he was older than me for like last 10 years. I'm surprised that he's way younger than you. He's one year younger. Way younger. Let it be known. I said next to my plane across him. He's very good. He's breathtaking and impressive. Did you join the mile high club? I did. I masturbated in the bed. I probably would do if I were across from him. He had a dog in him and he was going to shoot the lone ranger

because we were both going to New Mexico. Was he wearing the mask? Wait, was it back then? Yeah, we were going to flying to New Mexico. Was he wearing the mask? Yes, on his ass. How could you show us in there? He's on his pants, don't show me.

Really, really? Really, really? Alright, let's take a break. We'll be right back. Give all this pants a little joke. Really, really? All right, let's take a break. We'll be right back. MUSIC Welcome back. We're back.

We're back. Welcome back. We're back. And this is the part on the show where one of us brings something for the other two. We call it the feature. The feature, yes. So it's my turn today.

The feature. And I have this game at home that I really like, called Hypotheticals. Have I told you about this? Hypotheticals, no. Yeah, it's a Chuck Closterman game. Oh, yes. And it's these hypothetical questions that are extreme.

Did he write Fight Club? No. That Chuck Palinook. But he wrote Sex Drugs cucko pups. You mad? I'm furious. You mad? She's a man. She's a man.

Okay, well, here's one of his questions. It's a fun game. Okay. And you just answer it. So, I'm free to just answer it. However I want. Yeah, and we'll just talk about the question. Okay.

You are offered a brain pill. If you swallow this pill, you will become 10% more intelligent than you currently are. You will be more adept at reading comprehension, logic, and critical thinking. However, to all other people you know, and to all future people you meet, you will seem 20% less intelligent. In other words, you will immediately become smarter, but the rest of the world will perceive you as dumb or, and there is no way you can ever alter the universality of that perception.

Do you take this pill? I think people think I'm dumb already. I don't think I would. Really? Yeah. You think people think you're dumb? Yeah. I don't.

I don't. Do you seriously feel like people think that? Yeah, I'm always mispronouncing work. I like, look, you know what? I do think about this sometimes. I remember George W. Bush, you know how he would have a lot of sort of brainfarts on TV and he would say things wrong or whatever. And I was making fun of that once and my dad said, don't coddle him.

No, he said, he said, well, you try talking that much and you'll have those kind of things too. And then I was like, yeah, okay, whatever. But then being, having podcasts, it's like, I'm constantly saying stupid shit. Yeah. So I have come to sort of empathize with that. But that's also a whole lot of sex. It's also my dumb brain.

It's also your dumb brain. But there's a difference between that kind of talking and bull you know, bullshitting on a podcast, you know what I mean? No, but I mean, I'm messing up syntax of words and or sentences. Yeah, but I don't know. I feel like. Yeah. And also I won't remember. I've said something incorrectly and then I'll listen back to a show and say, I have done

that. Oh, wow. I totally got that. Oh, my God. Wait, I was doing this. I was recording an ad at home. And I- Were you home alone? No, Mike was there, my boyfriend.

And I was recording the ad. I was like, let me just just wait, fast forward go. And I was like, and you can find the link to that in my Instagram bio. And that's that, okay, thanks, bye. And then he was like, it's so funny that it's so cool that you can like do a character voice to fix something when you mess up.

And I was like, what? And he was like, what a nag. He was being serious. He was like, you don't have to redo it. He made it make sense. And I was like, what? And he was like, you said, Twittle Bio. And I said, no, I said Instagram.

And he was like, no, you did. And I was like, guess I did. And then we listened to it back. And I said, you could get said Instagram. And he was like, no, you didn't. And I was like, guess I did. And then we listened to it back. And I said, you could get that in my Twitter bio. And I did the only guy said that. Interesting. It was crazy. I felt so doubly.

It's talking about all the time. It was so weird though to hear. I thought I said something. I was so certain. And then just to hear it back and go like, that's not what I said. It was not even a word. You know the show Gavin and Stacy. I have yet to watch that. But I like, that's not what I said. It was not even a word. I was, you know, the show Gavin and Stacey did.

I haven't yet to watch that, but I really want to watch the show. I love it. But I was talking about it somewhere on, on microphone and I kept calling it Ned and Stacey, which was that Tom said in church that message show. But I didn't know that. And I said it several times, the incorrect way. And, and people started talking to me about it, assuming that I knew that I had said the wrong thing,

and I didn't, I'm like, what is everybody, what are these people saying? Why are they making fun of me? I had no idea. It is so weird. I said the other day, someone wondered what song was playing, and I said, and it was the song, can't stop the feeling, and I said, oh, it's Camp Fight the Feeling,

and she was said, yes, that's it. And then all I could think about was, I said the wrong title to this stranger. She thinks I'm an idiot now, because I said very confidently, it's Camp Fight The Feeling and I'm going to remember this day for the rest of my life. And you did. So where?

But she, I think that she... She didn't notice. She registered it as the correct thing. Or she didn't care. Or that was, she didn't really know. No, and then no, no. I know, but it's the kind of thing that I will obsess about for the rest of my life.

Yeah. Well, that's weird. I think I might like to take the pill, just to, oh, I forgot to think about the question. Because, I think about the question, I feel like it'd be so great to be able to use, I don't know, be smarter. That pill. I feel like I'm assuming if I take the pill that gives me more intelligence, it will also give me the ability to reason out enough to not be upset that everyone thinks I'm stupid.

Because it would, I feel like it would be so frustrating. I don't care about my own personal knowledge. I care about what people think about it. Well, that's the thing. But for me, it's like, I realize it would be less, I think because I'm a middle child, it would be less about what people thought about me, but that they wouldn't listen to me.

It would be frustrating that I would be perceived as someone whose opinion or input did not matter. It's like, well, I'll be all that run into that. It's right. You know, it's like, no, I'm actually smarter than you. And then you wouldn't be able to use your intelligence to help anyone. That's another thing.

Like, what do I do with that intelligence? If everyone assumes I'm an idiot. Could you, could you write letters and people would think they're smart? Like a progress report? Or like, just even a letter to someone. Like, he's good on paper. Yeah, I don't know.

Hey, if you have to write it anonymously, if you could go, Hey, got this letter of, this might have some good ideas, and I can't read it, but. About to dumb understand, maybe you can make edge of your tail, little bit. If you could,

sometimes do you ever have that fantasy of like, ah, be good to go back to college or go back to high school or learn more, You know, like, what if they made high school for me? Oh, learn more. I want to fuck more. One of them, my friends. I thought it was to not be emotionally terrified all the time.

Yeah, no, when I think of it now, I'm like, I crush. I just be having fun and like doing well. Yeah. Oh, I have the opposite way. It's like all I did was have fun. And I didn't learn a single thing like now Oh, well, I mean I was having fun. I guess my social life

But I hated living in the dorm. I had so much anxiety about like a lot of that stuff And so I would enjoy did not have a dormitory Did I say dormitory? No, oh god, I knew we're back to square one Do you want another question? Yeah, sure. I was gonna. Oh, what were you gonna say? I just wondered if like they made high school for people like us, whereas we had to go for people our age. You had to go and you had to do it four years. I think that would be fun.

Oh, my God, no. What? You're like, and your career's waiting for you when you get back to it. I didn't like being a student. Yeah, I think I'd like it. Okay, yes, wait. Okay, I haven't read it.

Yeah. Think of someone who is your friend. Okay. Do not slide your, do not slide your best friend. Oh, yes. Okay, I haven't read it. Yeah. Think of someone who is your friend. Okay. Do not slide your, do not slide your best friend. Oh well. I think of Laura. But make sure,

but make sure the person is someone you would classify as considerably more than an acquaintance. Uh, okay. This friend is going to be attacked by a grizzly bear. Okay. Now, this person will survive this, I'm teaching my friend. This person will survive this bear attack.

That is guaranteed. There is a 100% chance that your friend will live. However, the extent of his injuries is unknown. He might receive nothing but a few superficial scratches, but he might also lose a limb or multiple limbs. He might recover completely in 24 hours with nothing but a great story, or he might spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Somehow, you have the ability to stop this attack from happening. You can magically save your friend from the bear, but his salvation will come at a peculiar price. If you choose to stop the bear, it will always rain. For the rest of your life, wherever you go, it will be raining. Sometimes it will pour and sometimes it will drizzle, but it will never not be raining. Will the friend know that we've saved them? But it won't all them. But it won't rain. No, well, the friend. I'm saying, I'm saying it might say that, but it won't rain over the totality of the earth, nor will the hydrolycals cycle be disrupted. Okay. These storm clouds will be isolated and they will focus entirely on your specific whereabouts. You will never see the sun again. Do you stop the bear and accept a lifetime of rain? But does the friend know that you say that? I guess

they do because you're stopping the bear. You're stopping the bear? Let's say they do. It says magically. So maybe your friend doesn't know. I don't know. If they didn't know, would you not do it? No. You would wait. I would just let shit happen. But if they knew and I was like, guess what? It's going to rain forever on me because I did that. And they had to they had to thank me for it. Oh, man. You love that. No, I was thinking about my friend. I was like, huh, what I want, a bear attacking, I heard a crazy story about a bear attack recently. I wish I'd remember the details, but I was telling Kool-Op about it about like,

woman attacked by a bear in the home, and it was a crazy story, but I don't remember the details. But it's just, that's horrifying to be attacked by a bear in the home and it was a crazy story, but I don't remember the details. But it's just, that's horrifying to be attacked by a bear. But then the idea that they could maybe just get away with nothing happened. You don't know what's gonna happen when someone's attacked by a bear.

Yeah, I would not want to take that chance. I would save the friend. Me too. I don't really care. I guess. I like the rain sort of. I like accessories. I don't hate rain.

I do. I like accessories. I like a hat. don't hate rain. I do. I like accessories. I like a hat. Um, but yeah, but I, what I do feel like I would. Is it your jacket? You said your jacket. Do it for one more. We have time for another one.

Okay, let me just scroll through these because it's mostly. What if this Saturday night live music started playing? Duh, dun, dun, dun, dun. Letting us know what's out of time. What was that music? That doesn't play to let us know it's out of time. What was that music? That doesn't play to let you know it's out of your time. Okay. It plays at the end of the show when you're saying goodbye.

But it's not like a reward show where you get played off by the SNL music. Okay, here we are. Let's get in the middle of a sketch. Suddenly like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Oh, I guess we gotta wrap this up. That'd probably good. Every sketch.

Earth is about to be struck by a mammoth meteor. Fuck! Though no one knows exactly what will happen, most scientists assume life on Earth will be totally altered and potentially eliminated. Everyone on the planet is freaking out. Suddenly you receive a bizarre email. The government demands that you must fly to Washington, D.C. immediately by order of the president.

The email message... You're fired. The email message order of the president. The email message and the email message. You can fly it. The email message, including the first class plane ticket. Whoa, first class I'm in. Okay, once you arrive. No matter what this is, I don't care. I'm in. Once you arrive at Dulles Airport.

Dulles, I want to fly into Reagan. Military police, comforts me at your cell phone, and wordlessly transport you to a secret hanger that houses 10 massive space shuttles. You are escorted, he spelled hanger wrong and it's bothering me. You are escorted onto one of the ships. How do you spell it? Like a close hanger? Like ER?

Yeah. Dumb shit. Start and George Clooney. You are escorted onto one of the ships. Not counting the crew. You're not counting the crew. There are 24 equally confused people waiting on board. You recognize a few of these people instantly.

Bill Gates, the musician prince, and Oprah Winfrey. Prince is back! When the individuals you don't recognize... It princes back, I'm in. I don't care what it is. It's not a box of Prince Spaghetti. When the individuals you don't recognize begin talking and interacting with one another, it becomes clear that all of them are brilliant scientists, consequential artists, or extremely wealthy political figures.

Yep, I go on here. The ship's caption informs all of the passengers, the space shuttle will be leaving Earth in two hours. He does not say where it's going, although he doesn't insist that anyone who wants to remain on Earth is free to stay behind. You are 90% certain you've been selected for this trip by mistake. Do remain on board, and if you do, they expect dumb people to put it. And if you do, how will you explain your presence to the other 24 passengers? You have no idea if admitting your true identity

will disqualify you from traveling. Just kidding. Yeah, you guys have I've seen your cable package. Honestly, if Oprah was on the thing, I'd be on the thing. I'd be on the thing. I love her. She's my only celebrity I really want to meet. I told you she was at Spring Seen on Broadway with us, right? No, you hung out with her. No, she just was sitting in the bias. I thought I'd be wearing like a sweet like a sweet life.

Sweet life was acting. I mean, private area. But I don't have any of my loved ones who are the women? Well, they're brilliant science. But they're not interested. Like all the names are like male celebrities. Let's see who are the, oh, Oprah. Oh, bra, you think of her as a man compliment? She's so successful. She has to be a high praise.

Is Dale there, the queen of the cock blockers? I mean, I guess I'd probably say, I am I supposed to be here? I would admit it. I would start asking around for sure. Yeah. I'd be like, why am I chosen? Yeah, I think that's how you would find out. Is you would ask someone, why was I selected for this? And then see if they know who you are.

Are you sure you would do that and not just go, this is a fucking sweet deal. Why would you just say behind? You have the option of just not going. It's tough, but it's tough because I don't even know that I go into the limo or I'm assuming it's a limo. I don't know if you ever mention a limo, but there's a nice stretch limo.

It's a good to the floor. I guess fresh wine first class. I don't know that I get into it if I can't bring, you know, Paul over here. No, if I can't bring cool class. I don't know what I get into it if I can't bring, you know, Paul over here. No, if I can't bring cool up, I'm like, what the earth is gonna explode? And it's gonna be fun. I'm not gonna leave her.

Well, can she come? You know what, that's exactly it, is that if in this scenario, if it's just like, I don't know, it's, this scenario is presuming you don't give a shit about it. Right, you're single. You're single. You're single. You're celebrities. You're single and you're included.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that must be his demograph. Yeah. So you're a single dumb dumb and poster. I would probably talk to Oprah for a little bit and then stay behind. It's a very last second. Yeah. I'm fine.

I don't want to go and get. But you're going to die. But I would have prayed to be alone. But you're going to die. But don't you think that the will to be alone? But there's 24 other people. Don't you think the will to live is? If I was in the end, I guess it was like. I guess it was like. I don't know.

If everyone I loved was like, we're all going to die. But then again, there is, there is, there is also is denial where yes, we all know the meteor is going to strike, but the human brain kind of goes like, but what if it misses? Yeah, or what if it's not early? You know, and then you stay behind.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, nobody's gonna like Donald Trump, President. I would, yeah, I would stay behind with my lovely wife. Yeah. If you could go with your wife. Or if she said go. That's what she said. That's what she said.

That's what they would say to you. Dilly, Dilly, dilly, my dude. Woman. Dilly, dilly, go off with you. Now now, dilly, dilly. Yeah, I would not, yeah, I would stay, if they're not, if I don't get a plus one, then forget it.

Yeah, you gotta get a plus one. I gotta plus one. I'd be so scared to interact. With the dead prince. So much going on. I would talk to prince for a while. Did you think Prince would you be nervous to meet Bill Gates? No, I'd be like, Hey, what's up? Who's like, yeah, who's a famous person? You just wouldn't give a shit about me.

I wouldn't give a shit about Bill Gates. I'm going to go nice to me. That's pretty cool. Great. Awesome. Wait, you used to be Popeye on the bookie line? How cool. Who's a president in Popeye? You're a Popeye? That it would not be, like, we would not be impressive to meet. What, who, what, a president?

A president. Because I, I honestly, well, I've been not impressed by me in Trump, obviously. But like, before that. Yeah. I don't think I'd really care about most of them because I don't really, I honestly, I just don't care that much. I feel like for me, it would be, is that bad?

No, no, no, I feel like it would be a big deal for me to meet Jimmy Carter, but if Gerald Ford was still alive, it wouldn't be the big deal. Well, if I met Obama, I would like cry. That would be, he would be an impressive person to meet. But that's the only one, and Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton,

I'd be excited to meet them. But even like George W. Bush. I've met these people, so it's so sad. Even George W. Bush, I feel like it would be crazy. Like, oh my God, I'm meeting somebody who used to be the president. Yeah, I would think something of that. Yeah.

I wouldn't be the president. I guess anyone who was the president when I was alive, I would feel somewhat intimidated or excited about meeting. It's a Donald Trump. Magda. Exactly. You mean George? I don't know if it makes a whole lot of eye patching on the butt.

Magda. That. I'll let him. Who cares? Do you think? Do you let him. Who cares, he's dying. Do you think? Do you think Prince in this situation say he's still alive that's another qualifier? Do you think Prince, there's only 24 people and we're going off to another planet. Do you think he like drops the act?

And he's just like, hang on. He's just like a regular guy because someone said that about Michael Jackson where they were saying like, oh no, when no one is, when the cameras aren't around, he drops this thing, he's just like, hey, I'm Michael Howard. What? That's like Gilbert Godfrey. What? What?

How do you mean Michael Jackson said that? But really you think he, do you believe that? Someone said that, I don't know. So they were just like, yeah, he was up on Michael. I would be fascinated by that. Do you think he, do you believe that? Someone said that, I don't know. So they were just like, yeah, he was up on Michael. But that's fascinating. Do you think you really have those kids? I think he jerked off into something.

Yeah, I wonder if he was a woman's gap. I waited on him once when I worked at Tower Video. What, that's awesome. Yeah, he came in with an entourage of like security people. Was it the entourage? No. Turtle? Oh, no.

It wasn't. Aquaman was there. Oh, maybe if they invited me, maybe they meant to invite Aquaman. Yes. Wait, what did they, like, instead of Aquaman? Jason Nemoa. Oh, shit. We thought we invited Aquaman.

It's got Aquaman. You're gonna get that one. I did get it when I was a kid and I would get really upset and then as an adult I'm like, they're calling me a superhero. You're like, I'm not even going to exist. What are you talking about? Wait, so you worked at Tower of Video, which is like Tower Records? Yeah, so it was a good video.

I'm kind of from Tower Records and it was just a video store. And I think it's a bank now, but it was empty for a long time after a close down. Yeah, yeah. Which always made me happy. But I dated someone who lived by it once and dated it in quotes, but I remember I went over to a... You were goffin again.

I went over to a apartment and just it was like, hey, let's get together. What are we going to do? I don't know. Just come over. And so I went over and was like, well, what do you want to do? Do you want to, let's go rent a video at Tower Video. So we walked the, you know, I don't know, two blocks to Tower Video, rented little big man. Is that a movie?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is Dustin Hoffman? No, that's a little big man. Is that a man? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Is Dustin Hoffman in? No, that's a little big man. No, wait, wait, wait. Yes, little big man is Dustin Hoffman. Okay, yes. Yes, rented that, took it back to... I was thinking, what is it, big man, little man?

Little man tape. The one with, little man tape would do it faster? I love it. But the one that Marlon Wayans did. Oh, I thought he's a baby. White chicks. You're thinking of white chicks. He's a white baby. By. Oh, he's a baby. White chicks. You're thinking of white chicks. He's a white baby.

By the way, put a pin in your story. Yes, because I'm sorry, I put a pin in yours. That's all right. I saw a little bit of white chicks. I'd never seen it. And I saw a little bit of it on TV the other day. And I didn't realize that in this, in the world of this movie, the Wands Brothers are disguised as specific white chicks that when everyone else looks at them,

they see these women. What? Like are these supposed to be like Paris Hilton or something? Yes, they're impersonating these two actual people. Yes, in the world of this. So when we see their POV, we see the actresses playing. No, just the characters in the movie are like, hi Lisa and Tony are whatever the names are.

They look so much like that. They flawlessly look exactly like these two. They look so insane. And then you see them at the end, the women that they're impersonating. I didn't realize I saw the very end of the movie. Oh, I never seen it. What if you got cast as out of like,

yeah, okay, you get this part and you realize you're playing someone who looks like Marlon Wains With like 10 pounds of face Yeah, so the idea is when people look at Marlon and this get up. They see you Wait, okay, so what was your story about tower? Sorry, but I want to finish my story We put the video on we walked back to it. We put the video on and watch 60 seconds There's no hotter movie.

The little big man starts to laugh. That'll get you going, man. He was so crazy. The first minute of that movie, the whole pretense of picking a movie. And we both were like, oh, this is interesting. And we were like, have you ever seen something like that? Wait, was that literally you actually just hooked up?

Yeah. That is what all you do at that point, where it's like, let's watch a movie. And that's what you're not going to. That's the Netflix thing, isn that point, where it's like, let's watch a movie. And then you know, you're not going to. That's the Netflix thing, isn't it, where people now Netflix and chill. Netflix or chill. And they're like,

literally put on anything. But I was just like, why did we have this half hour thing where we were like deciding and going, oh no, I've seen this on it. It's like the dense of courtship. Yeah. Anyway.

Okay, wait, so you saw Michael Jackson? I saw Michael Jackson. Although, now that I think about it, it could have been anyone because he was wearing a surgical mask and the mirror sunglasses in a hat. It could have been any of you. So like the tendrils of hair creeping out.

Tendrils. Tendrils. That's an inside joke between the two of us. Cool. Thanks for you. Dilly, Dilly. Yeah, thanks. Dilly, he and me.

I'm happy. But he came in with like three or four security people, um, who established kind of a perimeter around him as he browsed through laser discs. And he bought a bunch of, if you were to break that, never said a word, if you were to break that perimeter, you're a customer at the store. You have rights to go wherever you want. I think, I think they were letting people in and around, but I think the idea was they were being watchful. They were. If you were to say something to them, they would maybe say, like, if you're a serious tribalist, then they would say, and he would say,

yes, I have to tell you. So, so Michael Jackson. So Michael Jackson, what did what did you do then? Did he brought up such stuff? And he left. What do you buy? Do you remember? I bought a bunch of laser discs. Cool. What do you buy? Do you remember? He bought a bunch of laser discs. Cool. That would be a thing that you would see a lot is like wealthy celebrities would come in and just buy like a crate of stuff. Yeah. Well, in Colin Hanks' documentary about tower across all things from you, he would go every single Tuesday and just buy every single record that would come out.

And he would buy stacks of it. Like he would buy multiple copies of them, he said. Just because he loved going to- And he's probably like selling them. Yeah. That's what I mean. And John was probably- He was selling them out of his car for like a markup.

Yes, exactly. Oh gosh. We have to go, but before we go, we do have one thing to say to everyone. And that is Dilly Dilly. Dilly Dilly Dilly. Dilly Dilly Dilly! Dilly Dilly. Thank you, bye! you