Threedom - Threevisiting: This Sucks

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul, and Lauren discuss allergies, Tom Waits, and play Remember What to Pack. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0!

3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! Hi everyone, welcome! Hi everyone, welcome! Hi everyone, welcome!

Hi everyone, welcome! Hi everyone, welcome! Hi everyone, welcome! Hi everyone, welcome! Hi everyone, welcome! My name is Paul F. Tompkins. My name is Scott F. Alcherman. My name is Lauren F. Lapk, Althea, that is.

And welcome to three of us. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, issue woman. Is this a lemony snicket? It reminded me of my friend when I was young, my new friend in the third of the fourth grade. He was Japanese and he- You really think so? He was a turning Japanese. He was masturbating. Is that what that means? Yes, yes. I never knew. Yeah, now you can enjoy it. You can do that.

You can do that. That's how I felt when I found it. Wait, why? Is it kind of a horrible idea about why? Yeah, it's your horrible idea is correct. Jesus Christ, what a fucked up song. Yeah. But anyway, he was Japanese and I was thinking about the sea other day and I was like, I

wish that my parents, I had not to roll it off on my parents or blame them, but I wish that I had some sort of cultural sensitivity training when I was young. Me too. Because I remember my friend eating seaweed for a snack and all of us going like, ew, gross. Oh, that sucks. You know, and now I eat seaweed occasionally, and it's fine, but I wish I could have, I wish someone would have said to me like, hey, you're going to experience someone who is not white or even a white person who has who likes something

not different, but I don't know in the seventies. It's an amazing phrasing. You're going to experience someone who is not white. I have to say on the wiki for Turning Japanese, that song it says, the songwriter says, Turning Japanese is all the cliches about angst and youth and turning into something you didn't expect to. No, come on. No, come on.

But anyway, is it even good if it's not about masturbation? Yeah, no, it's just a weird thing to say, I guess. It's a catchy song. It's a very catchy song. I know, I'm never going to not like it. I had a friend when I was a kid. Okay, I also know I'm never going to not like it, I love Michael Jackson songs. I think he's a monster. I can't get into this. Really?

Get into this. When I was a kid, I had a friend named Sickman. I like the company of Lauren Lackas too. I like the company of Lauren Lackas. So you had a friend named Sickman. Yeah, and he was made of seaweed. Really? He was a sea monster, I bet. Yes, he was. Well, that's, we don't use that term anymore. Okay.

He looked at us. He was a Loch Ness. I don't know, but I have regret. And why am I still thinking about that 40 years later? Oh, I have so many things like that from when I was a kid that like you're just a dumb and also when you're when you're I was raised in a in a place where like casual racism was just yeah in Philadelphia where you know casual racism was just the order of the day and you didn't and the people around me and and the language that they used and everything was just a part of my life And it was not until I got out in the world that I realized, oh, I was incorrect.

Is there any sort of ceremony to let something like that go? And I know there is, like put it in a box and throw it into the fire, whatever. Save it for a rainy day. But, you know what I mean? But do they work, you know? Like I- To like to absolve yourself of this sort of thing.

Yes, because anytime I see seaweed, I think of that. Anytime I see Carl's Jr. French fries, I think of the one time I snapped seaweed I think of that anytime I see Carl's junior French fries I think of the one time I snapped at the guy like how do you let these things go? But I we we did have a conversation that was a Jason. Please don't spank me. I'm not going to do it. But I have Kevin's not here.

I know and I'm not going to play my ass. We'll play. But no, this is this is Jason, but it's but it's, I, now the angle I'm, now the angle I'm taking on it is, is Lauren, you are more, well, I wouldn't even say your spiritual, but you do, don't you do stuff like this sometimes? Yeah, to get rid of a story. Yeah, to get rid of is there something one can do? I feel like with that stuff, it's really, maybe therapy.

Oh, therapy helps a lot. I guess just talking about it. And then because I think I started therapy this year. Or you think, God. I know, I know. And I mean, I never been to a therapist for sure. I had never been. Oh, well.

And I always thought it sounded kind of cool, but I also was always like, I'm fine. You know, like I was like, I need to do, I'm fine. And it has been great. And I've also found like the things that I'll end up like, I'm fine. You know, like I was like, I'm fine. And it has been great. And I've also found like the things that I'll end up talking about will be surprising. And it's like maybe something like that where you're like, oh, I guess this thing really does bother me that I have this memory.

And it's just kind of good to like get it off your chest to somebody and have them just be like an unbiased sort of, I don't know. I believe that doesn't. Doesn't Maria Vanford say something about if you say it's then it or then it's manageable or something like that. We're basically like comedy has helped her so much with her troubles because she can

say it on stage and it gives it less power. Well, I think that's true. I think like what was out ever going to therapy for ever in my whole life, anything that I had that I was like thinking about those upsetting to me. It's unsaid. You can't say it to another person. It was just like I'm just thinking it in my head

and then I just, it can become so big. So big, but then the thing you say, the first time you say it, it's hard. Yeah. And then the 15th time you say it, it's like, oh yeah, this. Yeah. Carrying things around like that is terrible. It's really terrible when it's just,

it's just living inside your head. Yeah. That's why I don't think we should be spanked. That's what I'm trying to say. Like the more times we say something are trivial stories. Yes. This is me trying to get out of being spanked. Okay. Look, I don't want to spank you. So I think we're all fine here. I'm not going to make Zig do it. That's to me as the hardest thing. That would be fucked up. Why is it fine if Kevin does it and it's not, if Zigg did it? I'd be like, I'd feel bad. Well, this Zigg seems like a real person.

Kevin wants it so bad. Kevin loves it. He delight to the- He delight. Um, but I view this show as my therapy. Oh, no. Yeah. You're not my friends, you're my therapist.

This sucks. Yeah, I feel better at it. The new catchphrase of three of them. This sucks. No. No. Three of them, this sucks. Oh.

Come on. I don't want to put negativity into the world. Good. I'm glad you said that because on that tip, secret visitors update, there's a new Parkinson's commercial. Whoa. Where I think I, I think I, did you send it to me that tip, secret visitors update, there's a new Parkinson's commercial. Whoa! Where, I think I, I think I, did you send it to me?

I think I said it to you. Or maybe I didn't know. But we had talked about it. Right. Right. No, I'm sure I did. We had talked about it, the commercial with, where the guy sees, I think on our last season,

we talked about it. We made a t-shirt about it. Yeah, of course. No, no, but we talked about the new one. Oh, we did, okay. Where the guy sees a dog dog and then he sees two dogs and then one of the dogs disappears So my question is one of the dog it one of the dogs is real Well, that is he seeing is he seeing no dog is he seeing is he seeing two dogs where there are no dogs or is he seeing two dogs where there is one dog or is he should he be seeing three dogs three dogs and one is is not seeable to him and then the second one also becomes unseeable.

Is there a pack of bastard hens that he should be see? I just feel really upset knowing that Parkinson's has the side effect of hallucination Which I did not know until these commercials. I didn't know that was a part of it. It's really upsetting. Yeah The human body sucks. It's the worst crazy all the things it can do Waggle in your eyebrows. I'm in down Body has I'm not a liar. I'm a liar. 16-9. 16-9. 16-9. Everybody has such a sense, secrets. In crevices, you're like, no other. Like sh-cranies.

My n-cranies. My Thomas English woman. That phrase when I was a kid, I hated it so much. I think it was the way the voiceover person said it. I didn't like that either. Nooks is not bad. It also sounded gross, like I would never eat it. And it's also basically a bagel.

Like I probably would have liked it. But as a kid I was like, ugh. It's also cranny. I loved English muffins when I was a kid. They were like a real treat. With peanut butter. Yeah. Cranies is so close to crannies.

No, the regular butter. I like them with regular butter. I like them with peanut butter. I don't like them with peanut butter. Cranies is close to grannies and grannies have crannies on their face. Yeah. Cranies to grannies and grannies have grannies on their face. Yeah. Grannies have grannies and grannies have grannies. Grannies have grannies, yo!

Yeah, I can't argue with that. Can I tell you something that did delight in my life? Yeah. That's what I do for myself in the weekends. I make myself. So today, for example, we're taping this on a Saturday. This is not three to three days. Thursday. This is not three.

No, guys, I don't want to be three. I'm Thursday anymore. What? Sorry. What have you heard? Well, the date that we discussed. Okay. We'll talk about this later.

We will talk about this later because three to Tuesday doesn't work. No, sir. I make myself on the weekends on Saturdays and Sundays. A breath. It might even be three to Monday. No, sir. I make myself on the weekends on Saturdays and Sundays. A breakfast. Maybe three to Monday. I wish people cared about my little treat. I do. I do. I do. I do. What do you do? I make myself a breakfast sandwich.

I have an egg, a Canadian bacon. What? Okay. One egg. What? How is the sunny side up? It is. Here's what I do. Cracking in the pan. Cracking in the pan. Smash that yolk. Smash that yolk. Okay, step on a crack.

Step out of yolk. I, when I flip it over, I put some cheese on top of that. Let it melt on the egg. I'm out. Why? I don't like, you know, I'm really particularly not where cheese goes in things. Oh, what? You don't like it in crannies? I don't like, you know, I'm really particularly aware of where G's goes and things.

Oh, what? You don't like it in Chronicles? I don't like them in Chronicles, but I also, I don't like them in Chronicles. I'm also basically like Toast and Tall, so I try to leave it out of anything. Oh, thank you. Yes.

So you, can I finish? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you just enjoy his story than trying to like impose your lactose intolerance onto his story? Well, because I've been on this show before. As far as the story goes, for some show before. As far as the story goes. For some time, as far as the story goes,

this is a detail of the story that is unpleasant for her. I get. Okay, so you put cheese on it and then what happens? The cheese I use. And take a sip out of your huge mouth. The, I use a velvita cheese. Whoa, so you're really, so like a Philly style cheese steak? No, that's whiz.

We don't know where it's going. Oh, it's not, so it's not spray cheese. No, it's not spray cheese. Oh, okay, guys. It's like singles. Okay. But the classic Philly cheese steak is with cheese whiz. So it was invented like in like what, the 70s?

When did cheese whiz? The cheese steak sandwich? I don't know. You don't, I mean like cheese. Yes, I do. Yes. Yes. But there's a weird thing with people

put provolone. Yeah. That's what people think a cheese steak is. Provolone, by the way, is not a good cheese for a sandwich. Right. Anyway. So you just slices of velvita cheese.

Yeah, I do. And I'm proud. On the bottom of the egg. On the top of the egg. Well, you've turned it over, didn't you say? Well, it used to be the bottom and now it's the top. Right, like Drake said, I can start. It used to be the bottom and now it's the top.

I consider wherever it's missing, you're about eggs. Wherever it falls in the pan first, that's where it is. That's how we label it. Before I crack it, I turn the egg upside down. Wait, you do skinny? Yeah, I do skinny on the top. Okay. You're putting on much back.

So then I- He's been invented. And I put it all on. I put it all on. 50s? Yeah. I put it all on. A pretzel roll.

Pretzel roll. Holy shit. It's so good. So what is a pretzel roll? Is everything in your pretzel? You're a pretzel bread. Yeah. Do you mean slices? Like two slices of a pretzel roll? Is that a pretzel roll? Yeah, pretzel bread. Yeah, but do you mean slices?

Like two slices of a pretzel bread? No, that's not a roll. A roll, got it, got it, got it. This motherfucker. It's as if he doesn't have your work. I've had a burger on it. No, I'm just having no magic. I've had a bread.

No, I've had a burger on a pretzel roll. So now I'm in, I get it. You know when you're growing up and your mom wouldn't have buns and see if she's bread? Yes. She got buns, huh? I would have buns and see if she's bred? Yes. She got buns, huh? And I would have got hot dog with like two pieces of bread. I don't know.

So that is such a weird, you need to support me. Because you're, you're, you're already playing to make it. Yeah. Oh, shit, there's no buns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like, sometimes I'll put a hot dog on a sandwich thin. What's a sandwich thin? That's, you know, instead of doing slices of bread

because they're so fat and there's so much carbs, you can buy sandwich thin. What's a sandwich thin? That's, you know, instead of doing slices of bread because they're so fat and there's so much carbs, you can buy sandwich thin, which are basically, they look like skinnier English muffins. And so it's like having less carbs if you're eating a sandwich. Is it cool? No, it's not. Some of us have to worry about things. We don't look like an upside-down exclamation point. Or as so much like a teenager. That was a private conversation. She's like, Lauren's autofo just gonna call me. I'm looking at a sandwich then. Okay, and I'm trying to see what it is.

And you know what? I'm interested. Okay, now you're into it. My description didn't do anything for it. Sandwich tends are good. I don't know. I'm not into it. You know why I'm not?

Because it looks like a burnt, English muffin. It looks like a burning, which muffins. It's just like regular bread and you can get toasted. Here's what I'm telling you. What? It's not as burnt, English muffin, it looks like. Looks like a burning, which muffins. No, it's just like regular bread, and you can get toasted. Here's what I'm telling you. What?

It's not as good as bread. Okay. All right. Of course it's not as good as bread. You're eating it because it's not as good as bread. Okay, you know, I feel this way about vegan cheeses. Like, I have really come around in a lot of them, and I'm really happy about them and that they exist.

But like, my mom would like think that was like so whack. Like she would never want to eat. Oh yeah. I used to, when I was younger, I used to have the opinion, just eat the normal thing. You know what I mean? Like eat, if you like peanut butter with the nuts in it,

eat the peanut butter with the nuts in it, even though it's like way more calories or whatever. But that was when I was 20. Right. I don't I don't feel that way now. I have a sensitive stomach and I try to eat specifically. I don't just go around eating whatever the fuck I want. You Marie condo your stomach. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I don't know like because I really feel horrible if it's really. Do you have do you have any food allergies? In addition to lactose intolerance?

No, I don't think so. I had an allergy test where they did it all my back. You know, like all those yeah, yeah, I saw that food allergy. Yeah, yeah. Someone showed me theirs two nights ago. What? When I was at that dinner where I shared the dessert, I shared it with this person. Was it in someone's home? No, it was at a restaurant. They showed you their back and they showed, no, no, they showed me the picture. Almost like, oh. Just take off their shirt. Here you go. I did that.

To be ever done that. No, I haven't died. I started wanting to do it too. It was kind of awesome. I immediately started itching so bad in certain things. It was kind of crazy. Yeah, they told me that they were on fire that night, just that one part of their back.

Yeah, so they divided it up into like 50 or 60 spots. And they circle it. And they circle it. This person had just had it done. Just had it, well, I had it done a couple of nights ago and said that night, they, that one part of their back where the one thing that they were really super allergic to was just on fire all night. But then, the rest of the night.

Not, I thought it was because of some food that they were eating that was like activated. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Catch. Yeah, they put it it whenever. Yeah, they basically put it in a needle or something like that. They have all these different vials and they kind of like poke you in each with each different vial and then they take a marker and they circle it and then write what it is that they've poked you on it. So this thing is cats. Then you can get that as a tattoo. Yeah. You go right to the tattoo. My mind that went really crazy was dust. Yeah. Dust mites. Olive trees. All of trees. Olive trees. But not, um, but not olive oil. I think cool up had acorn trees. I know. Not a source. Yeah.

So weird. Yeah. Like trees themselves. I'm Mark Evan Jackson. We were talking about off mic just in an allergy test and is allergic to a million things he finds out. And it made me think I was hoping to find out something. Maybe maybe thing I want to do that because maybe I could be feeling better than I fall day to day. Yes. I wonder if I because I know I'm allergic to cats, because I once dated a woman who had a cat head, cat head, Jocelyn Wilders. And body and tip. Her name was Babusta.

Babusta. No, she had a cat and I, the first night I ever stayed over with her, I just woke up in the middle of the night, my throat had constricted and I was like, oh, oh, I was woke up in the middle of the night, my throat had constricted and I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I want to go home. What? I kind of want to go home. You said it. I know, that's why I have to leave. So I know cats, but I don't think I'm allergic to food, but I don't know. But it could be interesting if you try to get now.

Maybe you aren't even still allergic to it. Is that great food, motherfucker? Oh, no, I just can't have that because of medication. Oh, no. Oh, but it like activates something. It'll activate the whatever chemical in the medication or something. And we're wolf.

Yeah. My brain explodes. Oops, she's gayness. But yeah, but I forget that because when people come by, you know, a waiter will say, do you have any food allergies? And I'm not allergic to grapefruit. So I always say no.

And then suddenly they bring me grapefruit. Wow, they call it fancy French name. And then you don't know because you're a bump. Bump, blamish. Yeah, I'm a bump fancy French name and then you don't know because you're a bump. A bump. A bump. Yeah. I have one of those. Pample mousse. I have some of that.

Yeah, give it some of that. Pample mace. Um, I was allergic to cash when I was a kid, but I'm not anymore. Yes, I think some people outgrow it. Yeah, it was weird though, because I've had friends that were really allergic and as time goes on, they're not. I did dermatologist tell me once, uh, was having an issue that I thought was an allergy. I get an excess buildup of yeast on my skin.

Oh, cool. It's very good. You should make bread with that. But I say, which things? But I get it. It affects me behind my ears. And where do you have a wind behind your ear or something? No, no, no, it's like it's like

it's like it's one of those like sort of sores that bumps. Oh, you know what I mean? The kind of like grows. Like W.E.N. Yeah, Google one of those. Have fun. Google win. And then put one in between some sandwich then shut up. But I get I get it causes dry skin dry skin. So like behind me, it's better hurts. It's like burns donut. Oh. And so I thought maybe I just look at one. Yes, she sure did. I thought that I was having an allergic reaction to something. And she said, no, it's not this, but she said, I remember, I will never forget this allergy. She said allergies just happen anytime and you could stop being allergic, something you could start being allergic, something anytime.

And it's like that sucks. I'm like, I want him. When I was living in New York, I went to, I was just like at the container store and my mouth started really hurting and then like it was like swelling and then I went. How many dicks were there in there?

Oh, only was like swelling. And then I went- How many dicks were at there in there? Oh, it's only five. God. And I started, I went to look in the mirror and my mouth had grown, like, doubled in size. Like real life business. Awesome. And I was like, I look so fucking good. Um, finally my face, we had a little finger.

A little finger. A little finger. Finally, my face made sense. I was panicking, though. So I went to CVS. When you say grew, what do you mean? Like it was it was swollen. It was swollen.

It was the lips or yes, my lips. It was like, it's not the opening. Not the opening. Well, you said your mouth grew. So my lips were like coming like really like swollen. Okay. And then I went to CVS and like, I got the pharmacist was like, gave me some bed and drawers. I mean, but I, I I had just graduated college. I was living in New York. I didn't have a doctor, but I had a guy at college just like called her. And she told me

what to do, but it was like, is it on your pussy? Because otherwise I'm not allowed to say. She actually was so nice and like helpful. She was just being like a mom basically, but it was like because it was really late at night. I didn't know what to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was really worried I was gonna have some problem. Right. And then just went away. And she's like, it could just be an airborne now or two.

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. Were you making out with some plastic containers? You know, that was the weird thing. I was like, this is the most sterile environment. I can't imagine what was in this place. Yeah. That made me break out.

You're looking at your container right now. My container? You're looking at your water container Was I yeah, you were like looking at it like longingly. Yeah, you fuck water I do you're an objective sexual Anyway, I was fucking weird. I had this thing So anyway, I was fucking weird. I had this thing. Paul, are you in summation? It was fucking weird.

Not to mention the day the Clown Pride and two consecutive episodes. Let's do it. Were you in every episode? Were you in that time we were gonna do it? We got shut down. And it got shut down. Okay, so little backstory, Patina as well,

we do stage readings of the script of the day, the clown cry, because it's an insane story. Oh, yes. I feel that we've talked about. And so famous movie, Jerry Lewis directed that never saw the light of day. And I saw, and it was the first in a genre of concentration camp comedies.

Yeah. And Jerry Lewis, for a while, was saying there were rights issues, but then I saw him before his death and he admitted in an interview then and in several other interviews. He's like, no, I did a terrible job with it. That's what he did. That's why. Yeah. We always have to remember. Anyway, so we were doing stage readings of it and I did it over like a 10-year period. I think I like off and on, Patton would call you into service and go, yeah, do it again. I missed a couple, but sometimes anyway. So we did one over in Santa Monica at the Powerhouse Theater.

Yes. That's what it was called. And the rights holders to that, it was written about in the LA weekly. So the rights holders to that script came and gave Patent a seasoned assist order. And the weird part about it, as I recall, Patton writes about it differently in his book, but was that I recall Patton saying, yeah, we're not going to, we're not going to fuck this season to assist. We're still doing the show. And then right as we were going out on stage him going, Hey, so guys, so we can't do the stage reading part of it. So we're just going to go out there and like there and improv and do some stuff, like literally as we're going on stage, right?

So in any case, the other weird part about that whole story is I'm standing backstage at the Powerhouse Theatre. I'm on these stairs waiting to go on and I'm leaning against a rail, a wooden rail and it suddenly breaks and I go crashing down into like I only fall I only fall three stairs or four stairs or whatever but I forget what I crashed into but it like Juts into my leg and like scrapes off a bunch of my leg right so? So anyway, I go do the show. I'm professional. And they're believing all over the place.

I'm funny as hell. And they need you on that stage. I stole the show. But weirdly, so then it was just like fucked up for a while. And back then, you know, none of us had any money. And so I couldn't go to a doctor. So it was just kind of fucked up and like never healing, you know what I mean?

But then the weird thing is it would just like come back every once it would heal for years. It's fine. And then just suddenly like suddenly it'll like get really dry or something and like look all fucked up again. So yeah, they were and so I went to a German. Now that now that I have insurance and all that I like went to a dermatologist, he's like,

oh yeah, that'll just like come back every once in a while. Here's a cream, keep it for when it comes back and it'll just like suddenly I'll have like a big scab on my leg because that's what. That's what, yeah. Cause he's just like, it'll just come back every once in a while. Yeah, I'm not a doctor. Do you ever get a jubilee even ghosts?

What do you mean, you've seen me in shorts? Oh yeah. And you loved it. I did. Yeah, you talked about it a lot. You're right. No, but actually can't picture it. We were in Hawaii together. I swam in a pool. I remember that, but I'm saying like shorts like with. Yeah, sometimes I wear shorts with sneakers like little sneakers. Yeah. Little sneakers. Get your little sneakers. Get your We'll trainers. Yeah. Do you have heart shorts? Around the house. Yeah, but not that.

Those are house shorts. If I'm like do, those are my house shorts. If I'm doing like errands or something if it's a really hot day, I might put on some shorts. It's interesting, I really don't. It's not really either of you's signs. It's not, it's not my brother in shorts. My brother, I've seen you in shorts.

Okay, Jesus. My brother is a, my younger brother is a year-round shorts guy. Uh, uh, uh. Some people are really shorts people. Yes. Yeah. Tall John. Yeah. That's right.

Yes. You will never see not in shorts. That's true. Well, because they can't get pants long enough. I can't remember him being in pants more than that. That's how often you wear shorts. Yeah. I literally cannot picture him.

And I, I officiate his wedding and I am only seeing him in shorts in my mind. Scott, come on now. That can't be so. You know he wore a tuxedo. I imagine you did, but I can't see it. If he wore a tuxedo with shorts, that'd be funny. He also only wears formal shorts. He also wears shorts and exclusively seems to wear my old comedy death ray t-shirt with

my face on it. Man, he wears a shirt a lot. He wears it everywhere, including when his baby was just born. It's true. In the hospital, the first picture, while his baby was being born, my face was the first face that it based on. That honestly is wrong. Like he shouldn't have done that.

He shouldn't have done it. Will you go scold him, please? I mean, like, what was his wife thinking during this moment? His wife. Well, I didn't want to just start being like, I give me drugs. I'm just thinking, wouldn't she be like, why I gotta look at stuff? She loves him.

She loves me. She loves him. Yeah. Hey, that's part of the, you know, that's part of their thing. That's part of the thing. Yeah, I love his shirt. Exactly. And he wants to wear that shirt.

It's a cool shirt. My wife has a wooden leg. I still love her. I hate that leg. I didn't know Janie had a wooden leg. a comfortable shirt. No, I'm not wearing a feather wooden leg. I still love her. I hate that leg. I didn't know Janie had a wooden leg. Yeah. That's so weird, isn't it?

I've never seen her in shorts. No, and you never will because of that reason. That leg. Wow. She has a whole pile of peg legs. She has a fake leg. One of the real housewives. And does anyone know?

Yes, it's a, it's like a mystery. They'll solve at the end of the season. Which of the housewives has the fake leg? Different feet options to wear with different shoes. So she's not totally real housewife. Oh, I don't know. When she was a kid, they went back to the scene of the crime with accident,

where it all happened. What accident? When she lost her leg. What accident? And she was a kid and she was at a, I guess, I don't know, she lived in a barn or whatever, but they are lived with a bar. You know, she raised in a barn. She was, she was, she never closes the door.

But I don't, they were playing, she and her friend were playing in a barn where there was a sort of giant machine that was a foot shop. Yeah, they're playing foot shop. Hey, foot job. No, I think what happened was, and I'm probably going to get a little wrong, but she was playing on this machine that was off and then it turned off. Like a thrashing machine, like some sort of crazy thing. Bar your purposes horrible. It's a tropical angle and their friend witnessed it.

Oh, it's not like goose. It is horrifying. It would be so scary. But hey, it's that happens to people like who to say, like we've, here's one example. We've all had our, you know, our limbs for as long as we've had them, but who's to say like, you know, like next year? Hey, I don't want to think about that because that is, that's just reality.

That's just reality. And the thing is, is like it just happens and it never comes back. Actually, I might as well say right now, there's a, there's a, there's a GoFundMe for a comedian who I know who fell through a skyboard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if anyone wants to go donate to him, he's recovering. I'm going to, his name is Jason Sands, I, S-A-E-N-Z.

And you can go find his GoFundMe and donate five bucks because, because comedians don't have insurance. He's not as insurance as about to kick in and a lot of money back for his. Oh, God. After the accident happened, he was supposed to have a't have insurance. He's not insurance was about to kick in and have a lot of hype in like a month. Oh, God, after the accident happened, he was supposed to have a job with insurance and that didn't happen in time. So he needs your $5. That's the thing.

I always feel like we're all like two missed paychecks away from disaster. Oh my God, don't even say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like every American in scene. Not yeah, I'm wood. Okay, but I've just, but you know what I mean? Like it's sad, it's sad how often this seems to happen.

I know. I think it's so scary. Wish there was some solution. No, well, oh well. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. We'll be right back. We're back and didn't y'all miss us so very much well. Don't you love us? Don't you want to squeeze us and pitch our cheeks?

If you see Paul or Lauren on the street, just pinch their cheeks. Hey, if you do that to me, I will sue you. I don't want anybody fucking touching me. And you have deep pockets. And I do and I'll go deep. I don't want to be fucking touching and you have deep pockets. And I do and I'll go deep. You will make sure that you bury them. Kairz. Yars ago, I did a cross country train trip, where I trained to I trained from Los Angeles to Philadelphia to do a gig. And I thought I would make an event out of it. And so I put out a little video promo and I said,

I'm traveling across the country at the various stops. I will get off the train and meet me at the train station. I'll give you a sticker. How many stops? Well, I thought it was going to be a lot of stops, but it was only like three stops. Yeah, I remember when I went out to Milwaukee, it was one stop for Chicago.

People met you and you gave people met me in the train station. I gave them a sticker that said Paul F. Tomkins looked at me. I love that. That's how I met real butcher. Whoa. She was, she was, she was in Chicago. Wow. She came to the station and, you know, she had said I, I kind of remembered her because

she'd come to one of my gigs and we took a photo together and she still has the sticker. And now she's one of my good friends. Wow. But I, um, oh no, why did I bring it up? Oh, we're talking about. Oh, I thought you were to say there was a bad part of the story and now you had to tell me. No, well, you were talking about before it was people pinched our cheeks and we pinched our cheeks. So I said in the video, like as a joke, I said, I'll shake hands with you. I will not I I something I don't know what led to this, but I said, I will not shake your ears unless you give me permission. And one person said, would you shake my ears?

So I took this one by the years. And I just did. Sugar. That's a great way. Yeah. Oh, I have told this story. Well, that's what she wanted to happen. She was like, I just needed to get a little job. Just need this out of here.

Yeah. I hate this. And then the brain said, quick, my up. And the brain was like, give me a sticker. And there's a no stickers. So stickers are for brains. What if you had to? How do you make those stickers? Oh, just online somewhere. And I said, no, stickers are for brains. What if you had to... How'd you make those stickers? Oh, just online somewhere.

They were like the cheapest things. I just like the idea. Yeah. No, it's fine. There was a bunch of pre... How are you putting this on your hand? What? You just did that so strangely. I squirted it into my palm. Okay, but then you put...

No, but then you went like this. Sometimes I squirted it into my palm. Okay, but then you put, no, but then you went like this. Sometimes, please. Okay, I have some, uh, uh, Purl. I squirted it into my palm. Which palm is flat, then you put your hand on top like this. Pumple is flat, puts hand on top. And you went like this. Yeah.

That's not normal. That's not that strange to me. Why would this not be normal? If this way it doesn't spill all over the fucking place. Okay, let me just show you how it's done. How do you do it? Okay, we're doing the Puril challenge here. We're seeing how we put, okay, and then you see,

see what happened though? You turned your, okay, let me know Nare what Lauren did. You know what, this is the problem. So Lauren took the Puril. First of all, I was, I was doing it for show. Okay, I made it a little extreme. And of course, nobody could see. Extreme bureau. But she poured that she squirts into her palms that she holds her palms over that. It's clapping. Well, yeah, she started clapping. That's why it got you. But what

she did is she turned her palm vertically instead of horizontal before she put her other palm into it and it would be slipping down onto the table. I put it into my palm, then I sneak up on it. That was like a lotion commercial. Yeah, I fake my hand out, like, oh no, not yet. Ah, I gotcha. I put it into my palm, I put my hand behind my back

and then I sneak my other hand around so it doesn't see. I put it into my palm, I put my hand behind my back and then I sneak my other hand around so it doesn't see. I put it into my palm. I put my hand up at the top of my head like this and I put it like this and go. I put my hand up on my hips and when I did, you did. I was my turn to go. It was my turn. We do the rule of three in this house. My way makes more way more sense in your way.

I guess you're better than me. Oh, Lauren, I didn't mean it like that. I just, you came at me first. You know, it makes a little sense for both you. It's the highway. Oh, yeah, you wait. Look, we, everyone's right. Oh, we, they were, the right answer is just sanitize your hands.

Everyone's right. I forget there, but we should do a commercial for Purell. We should. Purell, we've done the bit from this. Purell, yeah. So I was, I'm sorry, it got on your mouth. It's like, you know, it's just like a little raindrop. Yeah. I'm sorry about town. So I was sorry I got on your mouth. It's like, you know, it's just like a little raindrop.

Yeah. I'm sorry about it. And it's not dirty. It's pure. I went to hot yoga the other day and I was lying. I know I was laying down in the middle of it because it was really hot. Too hot.

Yeah. Sometimes I have only done it twice. I don't know about warm yoga. I'd rather do that. It was too hot. I just laid down. And then this guy next to me was still doing all the movements and his sweat flopped on

Flicked on you And you know what I didn't immediately wipe it off because I felt like no because I felt like You thought that would be rude or something, but I also was laying there going like it's right there. It's that's where it is We're parts of your body. I would like to still be feeling it today. Yeah. Yeah. It was really gross. Uh, uh, which, uh, and what, what parts of his body was the sweat from. That's what I can't say. I'm assuming an arm as he like stowed in like did a thing. Okay. So arm to arm.

Not a huge deal. This is adjacent. Yeah. One time I was at the gymnasium. I had my water bottle, which was a thermostyle, like yours, smaller mouth. Of course. But it was a metal bottle, reusable bottle. And I guess I had left it with the lid off overnight.

So I filled up with water at home, and then I go to the gym, and then I'm on the machine and I take a sip of water and then I feel something in my mouth. No. No. It is a live spider. Oh.

And do you have superpowers now? And so then you're like, did you, what did you do? Scream run around? I, um, I mean, it was so extreme. It was so extreme and like a true nightmare. And you knew it was a spider. There was something in my mouth and I pulled it out and it was moving or it was like still alive.

Yeah. So I, oh my God, that makes me never want to leave my water bottle with the top off. Don't ever. Yeah. Don't ever. Don't ever. Yeah. Don't ever. Don't ever do that. Oh.

Top on always. Okay. So I've like flicked it off my hand and then I think I took like a, just a brief moment. And then I resumed my workout because I thought I can't keep thinking about this. You believe that thing of like you swallow a spider every year, like whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. On my birthday. Did you want that to be debunked?

I did. On your birthday. On my birthday, swallow a spider. I remember they we. I swallow one for every year. Really? Every birthday. So 50 this year.

Yeah. I swallow 50 spiders. How did you love being 50? Um, I don't think about it mostly. And then every once in in a while I think about it and it's weird. Yeah, but I kind of think that about every age a little bit like once you pass 30, I don't know, I'm 33 and I think 33 when I was a kid that sounded like an adult. Well, the fact that 50 is very weird. Well, 50 is different than 33, but I'm just saying I still think I think about my age weirdly.

Yes, the fact that you and I are older than almost every traveling Wilburry is bizarre. What's a traveling Wilburry? I mean, how old they were when they made the traveling Wilburry. But boy, they look much older. They look so old. So the traveling Wilburries here, let me send you a video. I've heard of that name. Oh, Betty, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll send you more than they were when when they were in that bus

gags. Okay, so when did they do that? They did it in the late 80s or early 90s here, but how old were they? What are you saying? You're older than they were when they were when they made those, they were all like old rock people who banded together to see legendary rock people. Yeah, but they were all old. It's Bob Dylan, it's Roy Orbison, it's Tom Petty. I don't know who this is. Roy Orbison must have been here.

Play the video. It's been older than them by many. No, you're not Rick Orbison, right? I'm not damn it. And I didn't even come through. Now you're officially on board. Now you're officially on board. I actually have. I have learned a thing or two.

I tried to rickroll. You see the rickrolling that we got on Twitter? Yes, I was. I knew something was up with it, but I was like, what's this gonna mean? Someone chance it was a rickroll on. It looked like it was LA times.com. It was like, they tricked us.

They tricked our egos. It was like LA times.com slash 3dom best moment or something. No, but I didn't really talk about us. I know it's a common thing of like, wow, they looked so old, but they, I think Roy over some of his 52. He was the oldest one or something like that. Wow. But um, and then he was gone like right after that. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So it's like he didn't even get to volume three. I die. Um, he was, uh, do you know spider, I think the pretty woman's husband finally caught up with it. That was my wife, my wife. Um, what are you, cool? What are you, cool?

I saw him right before he died in live and culture. Yeah, so Disneyland. He kept his voice for a long time. Beautiful. Yeah, hard attack. Yeah, hard attack. Yeah. Did you ever see that black and white special that he did? Yeah, long time. He was beautiful. You get a heart attack. Yeah, a heart attack. Did you ever see that black and white special that he did? Yeah, loved it.

It was great. Yeah, that was the same time around the time that I saw him. I worked at Disneyland. I told you that story. And I worked at... That's when I first met you. You always died of heat frustration. And you were talking...

You told that story. Oh, really? Okay. I've always wondered the first time I met you. I thought I was doing bang bang. No, that's how you asked me to do it. Oh Oh, really? Okay. I've always wondered the first time I met you. I thought I was doing bang bang. So I'm going to recommend that. No, that's how you asked me to do it. Oh, did I?

Okay. But I saw I was working at Disneyland and the only fun. That you had to go up. The only fun. Yeah, really. Like the only seemingly fun thing you would think about working at Disneyland would be that you would get to go to Disneyland for free occasionally, but they wouldn't let you. You had, when you clocked out of your shift, you had 10 minutes to get through the gate.

Oh my God. That's not right. This should let you hang out. Yeah. No, you asked it. You wouldn't want to hang out that often. Like, you'd want to go home most of the time. Yeah, you want to go home most of the time, but they were like, if you don't, if we don't

check you out of the guard gate, 10 minutes after you play that, this is for real. This is crazy. Then you'll be warned first and then fired, right? You know, what's quite other business does this? That's fucking nuts. That's also very un-cheerful. Yeah.

It's like, to say the least. To say the least. Yeah. And it's probably not getting paid that much. Like you want to give it a part? No, it was 425, it was 425 an hour. Wow. Hang it out. Yeah. And it's probably not getting paid that much. Like you want to give it a part. No, it was 425, it was 425 an hour. Wow. So I, but so, so I was there this summer of 19.

Was that minimum wage? Yeah. Okay. At the time. So I was there the summer of 88, I believe is the summer that I was working. And it was the, their flashback summer where they're doing 50s flashback.

So they had this dance club video opalus, which was like a futuristic dance club with video screens that would show videos and everyone would sort of dance. So because Studio K over at Nutsbury Farm, that was their... That was Ketamine. But we would dress up in trench coats and... Studio K. And they had fog machines and they would play the

cure sometimes and we would like all kind of do this kind of dancing. Why would you wear trench coats? Because we were golf. You were trying to be the cure. We were fucking golf. Wait, wait, wait. This was when you were an employee of Disney? When I was, okay, so I was an employee at Disney in 88.

And they built videopless, probably 87. Studio K preceded it. I was 15 when I was, okay, so I was an employee at Disney in 88. And no, a little bit. They built videoopolis, probably 87. Studio K proceeded, I was 15 when I was, Oh, Studio K is when you were the trench coach. This was exactly. I thought you were performing at videoopolis. No, no, I, okay, I apologize. So videoopolis, I was, Do you accept my wallet?

I accept it, I forget. I forget. I forget. Fair. Fair, fair. So anyway, so I was, I, at video uh, at videoopolis this summer of 88, I believe they had, um, tons of like 50s, whoever was still alive from the 50s were performing. And they were performing.

And they were performing every day, right? So, so Roy Orbison is doing three shows a day at Disneyland, right? And I'm a huge Roy Orbison fan. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm a huge Roy Orbison fan. Yeah. And I'm a huge Roy Orbison fan. And so I'm like, I can't let my 10 year at Disneyland go by without like going to see Roy Orbison, but I'm not going to pay to go see go to Disneyland. So I broke the rules one day and I clocked out of my shift and I ran over to videopless when I knew his set was starting. I saw

clocked out of my shift and I ran over to videopless when I knew his set was starting. I saw probably he probably did a 45 minutes set. I probably saw 35 minutes of it before I was like, I gotta get out of here. I'm never gonna be able to explain 35 minutes or whatever and then I like ran and got out of the gate, but he was amazing. So you got away with it. Were you penalized? Or no. I think I was penalized, but I also quit that job so soon after that That it was the worst summer of my life. You just said you had to go to the bathroom really bad Yeah, I was just shitting forever No one's gonna want to argue with that. Yeah, that's true. That's a good excuse. There might be a weirdo Move it walk me through this if you if you can't shit that means you're all out of shit. So try to shit right now.

Eat this. This is peanuts. Oh, what? Eat this for us. There is a moment in that concert, that black and white concert. And if you haven't seen it, it's great. Bruce Springsteen is singing backups. Yeah.

And Katie Lang, Bonnie Raid, Diane Warren, I think. All star backup lineup. It's an all star lineup, including Tom Waits for some reason. Where do you think Elaine go? She's still around. She's still around. I think she's just released an album not that long ago. She decided to go uppercase with her name.

Yeah. No one knows where to find her anymore. Search the clouds. But there. So it's great actually. She does. She looks driven. Tom waits for some reason as part of this lineup.

And he's on a little organ. And so it's, I think it's during Ubi Dubi. They're going around. Ubi Dubi's like this is a rave up. And one of the one of Roy Robertson's like more up tempo. Yeah. People are taking little solos and stuff. And they throw it over to Tom weights. And he just like, he might as well have done the thing where you put your fist on the piano. But he does this weird, like stupid thing, like half-assed organ solo or whatever.

Well, he's probably can't play. He's not a musician, right? But he is. I mean, he is because his early albums. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, still I'm agreeing with you. Yeah, his early albums, his early albums are very different

than the stuff he does now. They're much more like sort of 70s troubadour kind of stuff than the weird character you got. I bet you're going to like. Yeah, let me send you a video of one. No, no, no, no. But the best part is he does this dumb solo and then the reactions of the other musicians like just looking at each other like, all right.

Okay, Tom. Important night for us all. But all right. Okay, Tom, important night for us all, but all right. I felt like that at this guy's wedding that I was at, we, I was in a band with my friend and everyone liked our band, but we, up in San Luis Obispo and the guy who got married was part of the San Luis Obispo.

Is this the naked postman? I was in, no, this was Lavi Lozmonos. Oh, Lavi Lozmonos, watch your hands. Yeah, so me and my friend were in this band was Lavi Los Monos. Oh, Lavi Los Monos? Yes, watch your hands. Yes, you're out. So me and my friend were in this band, Lavi Los Monos, but we, we, neither of us really played lead guitar. He was better at than I was, but I just played rhythm. And, but everyone liked our band, and so we went to this guy's wedding, who was in the,

the slow music scene and, um, the slow music sound was a bispo. And so, yeah, that was an important clarification. So what's this song? What's this movement? So we're all up there like slow scenes, baby. We don't play fast. And we never will. We're all up there doing it, Jams. I got invited up to the free zone's pro concert. And they pointed it at me for a solo. Oh boy. And I just went white. And I and they're like, yeah, man, and looked really supportive. I remember like going, okay, here we go. And I know a little bit about guitar of how to do it,

but I was just like, ping, ping, ping, ding, ding, ping, ping, and the look on his face of just, ugh, just has haunted me forever. So, maybe, are you any heard Tom Waitzong? I think you might like. Yeah. All right, should I just do it this way or should I link it up? Happy birthday to you.

Is there a cord? Oh, wait, here. Is there an ox? Is there an ox cord? They're just pointing at the biggest stack of cords I've ever seen. Oh, I saw it. Oh, I see it. Oh, there it is.

There it is. But it needs a dongle. It needs a I saw. Oh, I see it. I see it. Oh, there it is. But it needs a dongle. It needs a dongle. Dongle. Dongle. Wait, do I have one in here? I have one in here. Here's a dongle.

The suspense though is killing. For just such a case, you know. The suspense that was killing me. All right, here we go. This is a Tom Waits song that I will like. Okay. Oh shit, where to go. Do you want to earn money from home? Skip the ad.

So far I like this. Oh wait, he hasn't started singing. Wait, is it going? Don't you love this? It's fine. Yeah, you got a little crazier It sounds kind of innocent Crazy Oh There's two cold of y'all walking in the streets. You crazy. Right? This is the street. Here you are. I found the Tom Weitz organ solo.

Oh, that way. That's the best part. Oh, God. Oh, God. You can't see your death at cold. Out walking in the rain. All right. Nice.

I was totally calm about that time. By the way, my aforementioned friend, I was in the band. All right. Nice. I was totally so mean, baby. I love that song. By the way, my aforementioned friend, I was in the band with Wood of Haydard, what you just did, which was just automatically like turned it off cold. I hate that song. He always had to turn it down. I will say, I didn't like that.

I just did it. Do a fade out. I love it. I loved it. I loved it. Even if we were at his own house, he would like slowly turn a song down. Hey, man, I like the abruptness because it's like life changes, just like that.

Hey, guess what? It has to end now. Hey, time's up. I found the organ solo. Here we go, ready? Don't rip it off me, I'll kill you. No. No.

No. All right, we need to take a break. We'll be right back. I'm furious Well, here I am. I'm curious. It doesn't count. I'm curious. Do the Ooby Dooby till you think you're a heart-willed Drake and a dip. Because you do the Ooby Dooby too low. All right, there's more solo. Bass solo.

Guys are going up right bass. All right. Bass solo. Guys, we're gonna play bass. All right, come on. Come on, Tom. Scoop that, but did I gotta do rock and roll all night long tonight? Springsteen soloing. Everyone's loving it. They're going out of their minds. We can't believe we're with this legend.

So. What? I think the recorded version of the song is one new song. There it comes. That was it. That was it. Yeah. That's all.

B, B, B, B, B, B. And then Roy Robertson and this other guitar guy looking at each other like, okay, we were forced to use this guy. Big build up, zero pills. I mean, build up, build up, you're a man. While that was happening, I was looking at a... Yeah, what was the great...

Showing me? Someone I went to high school at, was at a bridal shower where there was a Michael Jackson impersonator. Oh dear. I was like, what a crazy combination of things. Brides. I don't know. Moonwalks. The idea of inviting something like that into your home and a close-up proximity is very weird to me.

Yeah, and it's a really strange look, the whole deal. The whole deal. We talked about this at Mr. Show party, where we had a venture. So uncomfortable. Did he walk around just talking to there are three of them. Three of them peeding ones. Was it the movie of the year? No, no, this was well after well after movie have been out of theaters. It was pretty funny concept. But then when you're actually there, these guys are walking around doing

a whole right. And all that. It's like, I wish this wasn't happening. Well, there's also in a revolving restaurant. Also revolving restaurant. And everyone was getting way too, like either fucked up on alcohol or drugs. Arrived on drugs. Yeah. And and then you're constantly slightly dizzy and Ace Ventura is coming up to you.

And Corey Feldman's band is those were two different parties. Are you sure? I remember them being in the revolving restaurant. Both were in the revolving restaurant. There were two in the revolving restaurant. And the first one had Ace Ventura in person. The second one had Cory Feldman's band playing. Truth movement? The truth movement.

Yes. I sat near Cory Feldman at an event recently. And it was, I was very hard to take my eyes off of him. Really? Was it an auction? No, it was, I was very hard to take my eyes off of him. Really? Was it an auction? No, it was a, is that a good guess? It was a, it wasn't, I guess it was a year ago, but it was a screening of Jane Goodall's documentary.

Oh, which I hear is amazing. Oh, it's all wonderful. Yeah, and they had Philip Glass live and the contender. Those monkeys had the contender. By the way, the conduction. Conduction. Conducted.

Conducted. Philip Glass, or the conductor. I'm not that the word I'm looking for. Conduction. Conducted. Philop glass orchestra. I'm not that the word I'm looking for. They were doing a live score. Yeah, but whatever. There was some word I was trying to say, and I just had construction. So, what? Conducting.

No, I know, but I think it's just a... We had a bunch of balloons, and I'm real. We were trying to say orchestra. Okay. Those monkeys hated her. The documentary's great. I'm a, I'm a Jean Goodall truth or monkeys hated her. The documentary's great. I'm a, I'm a Jean Goodall truth or they hated it. They hate it.

Someone, I just saw a post of this thing about her that she was an interview and someone said, what do you think you'll next grade advent, do you think you'll have another great adventure like that? She's like, like this one. Ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da. Ba ba ba ba ba ba da. She said death like this one. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba- great adventure. Okay. Do you think that death will be an awfully big adventure? Uh, yeah. I do. I feel like it'll be like, do you think this episode of this podcast will be your legacy? Yeah. I do. I'm unfortunately, and I'm really sad. This will be your, they'll play this clip in the morning. Yeah. Here's, I want to say this right now. If I ever die, if you ever,

don't play any clip where I'm talking about dying or what I think about it. And don't think about that. Okay. What do you want the clip to? If I ever die, hold on.

It's funny. Let's all go around. First, what we don't want. Okay. All right. The clip to be. All right. If I ever die.

Yeah. Please don't just play a bunch of clips me laughing. Yeah, that's a really good point. It's you having fun. They want to remember you. What is I want other people? I want clips of other people having fun because of me. Yeah, other people laughing at you. I don't want it to be like he was known for enjoying things. I would like it to be that people, if you're going to play a clip of something I did, it's something that other people are laughing at you. I don't want it to be like he was known for enjoying things. I would like it to be that people,

if you're gonna play a clip of something I did, it's something that other people are laughing at. Yeah, make it me tossing something off and people losing their fucking shit. You guys are so presumptuous to think people are gonna be playing clips when you die. Hey, guess what? What?

They will. In your face. If I died, God, make sure I never do. And if I do, I want to be 99 or 100. But only those. If I were to die before you, you'd play a clip. I would, okay, what would I? You'd play a clip.

Are you saying you wouldn't play a clip if she died? You would play a clip of Paul died. If I was still doing, are you fucking kidding me? You wouldn't play a clip if she died? You would play a clip of Paul died? If I was still doing, are you fucking kidding me? You wouldn't play a clip if I died? Where do you think these clips are being played? Your funeral? I guess. Everywhere.

Everywhere. You would do it, and I do it for you. And let me just say, where would you do it on Ray's TV? If you ever would listen. Hey, we're doing great out there. Let's say, let's say you're, you're writing for the Emmys again. Okay. And it's a year that I die.

You better probably, this is happening to me. Actually, yeah, that's unfortunate. So did you get a clip of Harris in the Invermoharium? I, we all asked them. This is interesting. I want to know who's in control of the Invermoharium. Okay. Well, the producers are.

It's the best. So we, they mentioned it was done. And we said, can we ask you a question? Like we felt weird asking about it, but is our friend in there? And we said, he said, who's your friend? And we said, Harris. And he's like, oh, yes, definitely he's in there. Oh, that's good.

So there we go. He made the cut. Yeah, because not everyone who dies gets in the old. I think that's wrong. I think that you think every single person who died who ever worked, whoever hasn't won IMDB credit should be in the new. No, but I think like there are prolific people that you that don't make it sometimes like, wait, why wasn't that person like what that's happened? I know. I think that's weird. I think that there should be one. I've talked about this, there should be one award show, there's too many award shows.

Just make one award show, the awardees, it's 24 hours long. You'll give it a better name. No. The awardees? The awardees. It's 24 hours long, we do the best in music, the best in theater, the best in film, the best in TV, the best in web videos and all that. And then we do.

And then we also do one in memoriam and every single person is in it. And it's probably two hours of the 24. So you're saying the webbies are also folded into the world? Yes. So like the Instagram account would also be in there. But you're kind of mixing up. Oh, the shorties, right?

Or there's two different, I think they're two different. Are the webbies and shorties two different things? Fuck everything. The problem is that there's an immemorial for every category and there'll be too many people. It'd be like a two-hour long. Here's the big problem with the immemorials too. Is there's these assholes who like have been on stage, on TV, in movies, and also Grammys, and they suck up all the oxygen for all the other people because they're in they're in the Grammys, they're in the Tonys, they're in the Oscars, they're in the

Emmys and they and the Golden Globes, they're in all these in Memoriams and then there's nothing for the rest of us. I think that when people cheer for the people they care about or clap for people who care about in Memoriam, it makes you feel about it for the next person who pops up and then they don't some editor. Yeah. I don't think that's right. We used to, there's a group of us used to go to movies a lot and we would pick a person to clap for during the credits. What's the name? You like, let's, like, a person we didn't know, we're like, let's, let's clap for, you

know, this, yeah, whatever, whatever credit we picked before hand. Right. And then we would do it and it was very, it felt really satisfying for some beforehand. Right. And then we would do it. And it was very, it felt really satisfying for some reason. Yeah. I do like it when you go see a movie that's one of your friends is in and everyone goes. Yeah. Yeah. That person. Yeah. It's cute. I remember. I love you, Beth Cooper. We went with Paul Russ. Oh, yeah. That was fun. And he stood up and did a dance. All right. Look, we have to do a feature. We don't have to. We have to.

We get to. We are blessed. This was sent to us by a man named Chef Kevin texted this to me. And by the way, I just wanted to be said right now. If we do die and you play a clip, it can't be where we're saying you have to play a clip of them. Oh, thank you. Thank you for catching that.

Thank you. But someone will catch this and I will do it. Well, here's the thing. Yeah, because I have a shot just for Scott, this for everybody. By the way, the internet is saying I'm going to exist by 10 my day. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, 2009, because I have a show I have to have more than you're two though. Yeah. Anytime anyone who is on my show passes away, I have to talk about it. Oh my god. Sorry. All right, let's do this feature. You do have to talk about it. Oh my god. Sorry. All right. Let's do this feature. You do have to talk about on your show when people die. I know. Yeah, That is the head. Where's the crown? I know. Sure. I know. This is called remember what to pack. Oh my god. Remember what to pack. This is an alphabet sequence driven game of memory And it's suitable for just two players, but more fun if several are involved.

Let's do the three of us. What do you say? Sure. It's also known by the name going on a trip. Okay. Yes. So I know this game. Okay.

Begin by stating a travel destination, France, for instance. You know? Yes. Play begins with the first person stating, for example, I'm going on a trip to France, and I'm going to take an apple. I'm going to use that. The next player must... Why are you bringing apples? Why are we going to eat apple of France? The next player must... We actually can't do that. They'll make you throw it out. Yeah, it's called the city of apples, hurry.

The next player must repeat the sequence and add an item from the next letter in the alphabet. I'm going on a trip to France. I'm going to take an apple and a brief case. The third player proceeds in turn. I'm going on a trip to France. I'm going to take an apple and a briefcase. The third player proceeds in turn. I'm going on a trip to France. I'm going to take an apple, a briefcase, and a camera. All right, let's do it. Okay. Any more words? Until. So and you can you can pick anywhere I'm presuming and you can pick you can start with any letter. Oh, you can start the middle. The location has no bearing on it. What's the location? No bearing. I believe you can start in the middle. There's no. Yeah, just ask me the next. Yeah, exactly. So Lauren, you start us off.

I'm going on a trip to Milwaukee. And I'm going to bring a suitcase. I'm going on a trip to Milwaukee and I'm going to bring suitcase and a tardigrade. I'm going on a trip to Milwaukee and I'm going to bring a suitcase, a tardigrade, and my uvula. I'm going on a trip to Milwaukee. I'm going to bring a suitcase, a tardigrade, and my uvula, and a violin. I'm going to church and walkie. I'm bringing suitcase, tardigrade. My uvula, of course, a violin and a watchama call it bar. It's my favorite candy. I'm going on a church and a walkie guys.

Well, congrats. Thank you and I'm gonna bring a suitcase, a tartar grade, my U of Yola, a violin, a watchman call it bar, my favorite candy, and a xylophone. I'm going on a trip to Milwaukee, and I'm going to bring a suitcase, a tartar grade, a uvula, a violin, a xylophone. What did you just say? I said a xylophone. What did you just see?

I said a xylophone, but you forgot watching my collarbone. My favorite candy. My favorite candy. I don't know the alphabet. Uh-huh. Paul. Wait, so what am I out? You're out.

Yeah, bye-bye. Socks. Yep. Catchphrase. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Through the beat of this sucks. Oh, I wish it. All right, so do I you so tell you a name? Did I tell you I'm going to trip to Milwaukee? No. Yeah, let me Let me bring it. Yeah, I'm giving you the list. I know you're a bringing nerd. Yeah. He really nerds out for that bring a suitcase.

Or we you can start over I thought oh, oh, I think you start over. No. Oh, no, really? We just go back into Milwaukee. Okay, go ahead. I think so. Okay, go ahead. So we so rudely erupted.

Yeah. What do you got? Well, I'm bringing my suitcase, obviously. Yeah. And then in the suitcase, I'm going to pack a truck separately. No, no, no. Actually, I tell the lie, I will bring in empty suitcase to buy stuff, Milwaukee souvenirs to bring meco.

So suitcase, try to grade, of course, my uvula, which I'm going to remove from my throat and put in this suitcase. Violin, which I'm going to learn to play on the plane, a watch I'm going to call up are my favorite candy, of course. Z learn to play in the plane. I watch them call up are my favorite candy. Of course. Zyla phone? Of course. In case I wanna do one of my band thing, my young GZ record.

And I think that's all I got so far. Yeah, well, you know, that's interesting because I'm going on a trip to Milwaukee. What? And I'm similarly bringing a suitcase and a tardigrade. My U of Yula of I-L- of island a watchman colabar your favorite candy Xilophone a young gz record, but I'm also bringing a zither because I thought maybe a two-man band kind of You're making me realize that if I'm going to Milwaukee and I'm bringing my

suitcase chart a grade uvula And I'm bringing my suitcase, Charter Grade, you feel alive, my life. Not long. Guess what you forgot? What? What you gonna call it? I never got it! No!

What's a Charter Grade? What is a Charter Grade? It's one of those weird little organisms. It's actually, it's very cute. Oh, I'm looking at that. It is a really funny looking. Yeah. Now put that in between some sandwich. But it's like, that's very cute. Oh, I'm looking it up. It is a really funny looking. Yeah. Now put that in between some sandwich.

But it's like that dude can live anywhere. Really? Yes, I think can live in space. I don't like it. It doesn't have to be there. You don't like it. OK, I like it. Let's do one more because I feel like.

All right, you start. I'll start. The winner. Winner begins. Winner begins? And the big game the summer So he hates it all of a sudden I'm going on a trip to New Zealand guys news and Zed yeah, wow Oh, what are you bringing I'm bringing my Bible? Oh, oh, that's crazy because I'm going on a trip to New Zealand

And I'm bringing my Bible and my cat. Oh This is gonna be tough for me. I'm going to New Zealand. I'm bringing my Bible my cat and my dog. Oh no Well, I'm going on a trip to New Zealand. I'm bringing my Bible my cat my dog and my egg poacher. See I'm going on a trip to New Zealand I'm bringing my Bible my cat my dog my egg poacher and my Frankenfurter I'm going to New Zealand. I'll steal your Frankenfurter. I'm bringing my bible, my cat, my dog, my poacher, my Frankenfurter, and my grit. America's Family News Paper.

Oh my God. Well, I'm going on a trip to New Zealand. I'm bringing my bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frankenfurter, my grit. And I'm going on a trip to New Zealand. I'm bringing my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my frankon furder, my grit, and I'm also bringing my... Habadashary. Okay, well, I'm going on a trip to New Zealand and I'm bringing my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my frankon furder, my grit, my habadashary,

and my intelligence. Mmm. I'm going to New Zealand. I'm bringing my Bible, myerry and my intelligence. Mmm. How do I get a Z-Line? I'm bringing my mom and my cat and my dog, my egg poacher, my friend, my grid and my ex-family and his paper, my hamper dad's sherry, my intelligence and my Jewish New Year. I'm going to get a Gypsy New Zealand

and reading my Bible, my cat, my dog, my poacher, my frankenverter, my grit, America's family, Newspaper, my Habitatory, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, and my Cluclex clan outfit. Okay, that's so weird because I'm going to go on a trip to New Zealand. I'm brain, my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my frankenverter, my grit, America's favorite newspaper. I have a dash reman intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my clue-clicks clan outfit, and my lasso. Going into New Zealand, bringing my bottle cat dog, my ink poacher, my frying powder, my grid America's favorite, my hamper dashrey, my intelligence, my

junior year, my kukuk's clan outfit, my lasso, and my manifest. I'm going to trip to New Zealand, I'm bringing my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frankenford or my grit, America's family newspaper, my Habadashary, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my clux, clux clan outfit, my lasso, my manifest and my nose. I'm going to trip to New Zealand. I'm bringing my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frankenforder, my grit, America's favorite newspaper, my Habadashary, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frankenfurter, my grit, America's favorite newspaper, my Habadashary, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my Ku Klux Klan outfit, my lasso, my manifest, and my nose, and my octopus tail. Octopus tail I'm going on a trip to New Zealand

I'm bringing my Bible my cat my dog I'm bringing my Sorry, I got a buzz you the singing I got a buzz you know I take it I was gonna buzz you. No, I take it. When I was going to help you, I thought it was going to it. It became my foe. Yeah. Okay, go. I'm going on trip to New Zealand because that's the life. Because I remembered what it was.

I brought my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my frankenferter, my grid America's family newspaper, my habidashary, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my Cluclux clan outfit, my lasso, my manifest, my nose, my octopus tail, and my pose. I'm going to turn the news on. I'm bringing my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frank and Furter, my grid America's family's, my America's favorite newspaper, my Habitaterie, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my Ku Klux Klan outfit, my lasso, my manifest,

my nose, my octopus tail, my pussy, and my quilt. I'm going to trip to New Zealand, I'm reading my Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frank and Furter, my grit America's family newspaper, my Habadasserie, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my Ku Klux Klan outfit, my lasso fredder, my grit America's my most used paper, my habidashary, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my Cluclux clan outfit, my lasso, my manifest, my nose, my octopus tail, my pussy, my quilt, and my rhubarb. Did you say quilt? Yes, I'm going on trips and news and I am bringing my

Bible, my cat, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frankon Furtre, my Greta-Marcus favorite newspaper, my Habadashary, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my cookook's plan outfit, my lasso, my manifest, my nose, my octopus tail, my pussy, my quilt, my rhubarb, and my snake's oil, snake oil. I'm going to drink to New Zealand. I'm bringing my bagel, my cap, my dog, my egg poster, my frankenferter, my grid America's, my New newspaper,

my habidashary, my intelligence, my Jewish New Year, my klukhux clan outfit, my lasso, my manifest, my nose, my octopus tail, my pussy, my quilt, my rhubarb, my snake oil, and my tarantula. I'm going to drink to New Zealand. I'm bringing my bagel, my cap, my dog, my egg poacher, my Frankie fighter, my grandmother, my Christopher Newstaper, family Newstaper, my intelligence. I messed up.

You messed up. You forgot habitation ring. I won again. I swear this must be like a mentalist game or something. This is how like in and of itself, I think what was based on the mentalist. I think this is how he remembers everyone's job. You saw it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're a picture when you are you picturing all this stuff? No, I read about how you can do stuff like

this, but you you already like in every single seat in the audience to a thing. Like, like if you look at each seat, like this is pig, this is donkey, this, you know what I mean? And then when you see everyone's job, you imagine a pig doing that job, a donkey doing that, like if you memorize the first sequence, then you can memorize the other sequence and it's a mental picture that comes up in your mind like the judge is a rooster, you know what I mean?

Anyway. Okay. Guys, we gotta go. I should not have gotten high. That was fun. That was fun. That was fun, the judge is a rooster, you know what I mean? Anyway. Okay. Guys, we gotta go. I should not have gotten high. That was fun. That was fun, the judge is a rooster. The judge is a rooster. Next time on.

I'm gonna do it all guilty. I'm gonna do it all. I caught a two. Don't guilty. This sucks. All right, we'll see you. Bye. Bye. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy.

I'm not a bad guy.