Threedom - Threevisiting: Three Shots To The Dome

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss the Ambies, comedy mentors and butts before playing The Five Second Rule. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at www.kinshipgoods.com/cbbwSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody! That includes me! And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our Thremium episodes. In each Thremium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the apple podcast app

and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul.

Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that? Hi, it's me, Ricky Lake.

You probably know me from my hit 90s talk show, but if I'm being totally honest, I was juggling so much and didn't have time to stop and think about what truly went into living a full and vibrant life. Well, fast forward to today, I'm 55 and a half years old and I am happier than ever. And I'm so excited to help you find your joy on my new show, The High Life with Ricky Lake. Together we'll learn new ways to live better.

Listen to The High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonada'll learn new ways to live better. Listen to the High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonade Media, out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom! Three, three, three, three, three, three, three, Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Three shots to the dome! Welcome to Freedom! Three shots to the dome! Three shots to the dome! Three shots to the dome. Three shots to the dome.

New gibbet? New gibbet? Are we testing this out? I don't know what it means. We can't make three shots to the dome a gibbet. Shoo charm, shoo charm, shoo charm. Shoo charm, generic. Welcome to 3Dome. I'm Scott.

I'm Paul. I'm Lauren. And that's who you guys are. What? That's a little loud. How, what are we? I said, oh, that's what you guys are. Turn on your goddamn original sound so you can hear me. Turn on your goddamn original sound.

What? Hold on. Turn on your goddamn original sound. How do I do that? See up at the top where it says your goddamn original sound. How do I do that? See up at the top where it says turn on original sound. We're doing tech stuff at the beginning of the show? Oh, you fucking... Where is it?

Dude, never mind. I don't care. Top left of the screen. And also, I don't care either. Hi, I'm Paul. Hi, I'm Scott. It's actually not there. Okay, I'm Lauren.

Well, you need to update your fucking Zoom. Guess what? I don't care. I gotta tell you guys a story because last night I attended- Is this Lauren's Topics? It's my topics and I attended a prestigious award show via Zoom and I had a ball. So I went to the Ambies last night.

Right. You went to the Ambies ball? I went to the snowball microphone last night. Right. You went to the Ambies ball? I went to the snowball microphone or... Oh, podcast. Yeah, podcast inside. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. I attended the Ambies to represent freedom because we were nominated for best comedy podcast as everyone knows. And I think the second year...

Neither Paul nor I were Dane, would Dane to do it. You both said. I was Dane. You both did say you weren't gonna do it. And I said, I'll do it. I'll do it. And I- Now why would you do it and we wouldn't?

Because I guess I thought I'll just be sitting around and I don't care. Right. Yeah. So, and I felt like, you know, I'm willing to do that. And I'll do neither of those things. Yeah. I won't be sitting around and I will care. You care a lot.

Yeah. So, I had to do like a tech check like a couple of weeks ago for this, where I set up everything. Two weeks before. That's a long time in between a tech check. At least two weeks. So much can happen in those two weeks. I know, it's true.

And I had to download this background they made for me, which had like a yellow sort of background and like the Freedom logo in it. And I had to put that as my background. But my tech check was under three minutes. I mean, I had it all ready to go. I'm very professional. Well, that's not bad.

I'm very professional. He did say it was the fastest tech check he'd ever had. Whoa. Then cut to- Is that like sex where it's a bad thing though? Yeah, he was like, I didn't even come. Yeah, for him it's like, I want this to go on forever. It was rough. They probably do.

I mean, they're getting paid by the hour, you would assume. I don't know. I really don't know. I think they get paid by the tech check. One check, check, two check, check, three check, check, four. Hundreds of people, they're tech checking because when I logged into this award show, I mean, the number of podcasts they were referencing, I've never heard of any of them.

I mean, it's hundreds of podcasts, you know, there's so many in the awards alone. Obviously, there's thousands and thousands. So I log into this Zoom. So first of all, they wanted me to dress up. They did tell me to dress up as if I was going to an award show. I did not do that. I didn't brush my hair and I was wearing whatever I had on already.

OK, it was not. I saw the photo. Yeah, I saw the photo. It was like neck up. Yeah, you can barely see me. And when you actually when we get to the part where you actually see how much of me is Actually on screen for this thing if I had put on makeup for this I would have been I would have been pissed It just it would have been a waste of time. So But let me say also one of I watched Before our category came up. I watched I started like a half hour before, so I caught a half hour of it. There was a guy that was one of the governors of the ambies that came out

in like a short sleeve shirt. What? And they wanted people in their homes to put on full award show. Did it have a collar or was it a shirt in the shape of a T? It had a collar. And if we know anything about podcasts, one of the best things about it is you don't have to look good to do it. Yeah, squeam. Okay? Yes. Oh so you look great. Thank you so much. I just say even without makeup you look beautiful

You guys are disgusting Natural beauty Lauren, you're lit from within. I'm gonna kill you. Okay, so I'm sitting, I log into this Zoom and I'm... Give us every step. I'm going to because it led to me... How many times have you said, I log into this Zoom, by the way? Five.

I copy and paste the password. Well, I actually copied it about a hundred times because I was so confused because I was put into this room where I was not able to see myself, but I was watching a backstage green room, like tech check of other people. So I was really confused. I kept being like, am I in the wrong place? What's going on? And so I watched these people like silently do their tech. It was just super weird. And eventually I text Brian Safi because I was like, am I in the right place? Like, are you looking at the

same thing? I'm looking at you. He's like, yeah. Okay. So then eventually we get, when we're watching the word show as it's going on too, and I have to say, Cameron Esposito was hosting it and she did not have an easy job because she's standing in a black void in a room where there's like 20 people in person at cafe tables with masks on who are laughing, but it just, it seemed like this,

not your ideal audience for- No, that's the only place I'll perform. laughing, but it just, it seemed like this, not your ideal audience for the only place I'll perform. 20 cafe tables. I love that for you. Like I almost think it would have been easier for her if she were at home, like not standing up in front of these people and having to like, you know, standing up at home. Yeah. But anyway,

give her props for that because that's a really hard job. So we're in the background. More pauses by the way, every step of the way and more pauses. I'm pausing that much? I mean, Jesus. Okay. So we get, so they get to our category and they're doing the tech check for our category. It's me, Paul Scheer for how did this get made a TIG for don't ask TIG, Brian Safi for groceries, this podcast called I think the Breakfast Club and then Conan O'Brien, which was represented by Matt Gould. Jacquees was there too, right?

Oh, and Jacquees for culture. Yes. Jacquees Neal. Yeah, so I was really happy to see everyone. It was funny, but also everyone was kind of weird. Like it was just like a weird, like we're all kind of looking at each other, like what's going on?

Yeah. And there was this point where, okay, so first of all, we had done all these extensive tech checks and then the tech person is like, all right, everyone looks good. And I was like, well, it looks like Matt needs to flip his logo because it's backwards and he'll probably want it to be facing the right way

when he wins. And then we all kind of laughed a little bit about how he's going to win and whatever. And he's like, I don't know how I got this position because even he's going, I know I'm going to win. It's like it just was like Conan's shoe in for this award. Then we have to watch the show, but silently. So our mics are on. I don't I don't think. Were you on camera the entire show? For no, no, no, no, no one at home could see us,

but we were on camera within this Zoom for the in like a green room. And then they were playing the show in the same green room on like another square. But you are mics were on so that the second a winner was announced, you wouldn't have your mic off basically. Right. Right. Right. But it kind of gave me this like funeral feeling of like where you can't laugh. Like I was like, I started getting kind of like listening to the story. Shut the fuck up.

I did your dirty work by going to the fucking ambi. Yeah. Stop it, Scott. Lord, you don't care about it. I'm setting the scene. I also think it is worth telling the behind the scenes of this. OK, so they announced this next category and it's best podcast host. And they list these podcasts and they do it like the Oscars, where they said the name and then they play an audio clip from the show, but it's completely

out of context. So just be like, from like the best host podcast of the podcast, you know, this or that. So with so and so, and then she'd be like, yeah, and I didn't even know what he said and I never even saw it. And then they go to the next one. Were they that short? Like, yes, absolutely. There was one that was like, and that's when Ruth Bader Ginsburg arrived. And I like, there's no context for it.

I felt like a parody of a parody of itself. I started crying, laughing. So my mic is on and I'm like, I was like turning red in front of my yellow background and I was like crying. It's orange. And I could see like my friends on the zoom were like looking at me, but they couldn't tell why I was laughing. And it was making me laugh so hard.

And then Brian was texting me and I was texting him about why I was laughing and I couldn't stop. And then like, I started composing really fun. Like I was having a great time and then I started calming down and then the next thing that pops up is this like 10 year old with his podcast. Oh yeah. A 10 year old has a podcast. Yeah.

He was like, yeah, at least one kids have podcasts and I started crying again because I was like, what is this? So then I had to like duck out of the frame and then I come back in frame. It's our category. I wouldn't let my kid have a podcast, by the way. I don't think it's probably a good idea for a kid to have a podcast. I think you have to be able to be old enough to rent a car before you can have a podcast. I don't think it's up to you. I think that now kids have access to all this stuff. They can have a podcast. You won't think it's up to you. I think that you should be 25 have access to all the stuff they can have a podcast. You don't even know it. Paul, you need to stop defending everyone

we talk against. Okay. Yes. That's what I'm here for. Stop devils advocating. They literally go they they go okay now for best comedy podcast the nominees are and they put it to our face. You know, they put the podcast logo on the screen. How high up is this category? Is it like, you know how it goes? It was towards the end. It was towards the end, so it's important. Okay, so we were up for an important award.

Also, I have to say that sometimes they would list the nominees and they would show their faces and whatever, but a lot of times earlier on, they would say, here's the nominees for best business podcast. And then it would just be like five podcast logos. They wouldn't even say the names. They wouldn't even say the names. And like, look, everyone who's watching this thing

is on their phone. You know what I mean? It was a blip. It was like, they'd be like, here are the nominees. And they'd just like flash a bunch of logos. You could say them out loud. Like at least give us the dignity. So.

I thought you were gonna present, Lauren. I thought I was too. They didn't follow up. Yeah. We had to feel like everyone agreed Lauren was gonna present and then they just never brought it up to you? No, and I saw other, they did have other people presenting.

I think that's why we said no. Yeah, it was too much. Kenan Thompson presented our category. And so they announce us and then they go, and the winner is Conan needs a friend. And then I go, I go, no. I thought you could hear me. I was so excited because I thought it was really funny. But then Paul said you couldn't hear me.

And so you just see me on the zoom laughing as he wins because I was already crying laughing from all the stuff that was happening backstage. That was only funny to me. I, when it was announced, I, uh, first of all, it, like it happened very fast. Like after Kenan introduced it, everything, it was like immediately in the winter is. And so I was still looking for you. I got out my phone to take a video and I was still looking for where you were so I could see your reaction.

Cause it was like two, it was a millisecond. Yeah, it really was. And so all I saw was you just like laughing and nodding. Like of course. Oh man, it really got me. That's how it happens in these award shows. Your category comes up and then it's over. And I mean, in my case, I went up to accept the two.

And then Matt Gourley. Scott, remember when I was nominated for an Emmy and then you're like, Jane Lynch is going to win, so just enjoy the nominate. I said, fuck you. I felt bad, but I also, having gone through it a couple of times, you start to get in your head of like, I can win, I can win.

And then you crash right after, because you convince yourself and it makes you feel bad. And so I just kind of wanted to say like, hey, this is probably what's gonna happen. The most famous person in any category. No, you dashed my dreams. It was true, but it was, oh, I'm not actually mad. No, I mean, it was true.

It was all accurate. I'm just saying you did tell me that and it was true. And now when Kona was nominated, I thought he's gonna win and then he did. And I mean, it does help. It tempers your expectations. It makes it more of a fun thing, because especially if you don't think you're gonna win

and you do, it actually makes winning fun. Totally, because I did go like, well, what if we did win somehow right now? And then I'm like, what am I gonna say? And then I only had two seconds to really think about that and then it was over, so. Right. No, the minute your category comes up, it flashes in your mind of like, but wait, I have a shot at this.

Yeah. And if if it only happens then, then you only have like 20 seconds before you don't win. It's better for your mental health. It's not as big of a come down. I had that at the end of the one year I went to the Emmys where it was like, I was like, oh, we're not going to win. We're We're not gonna win and then when it what when that when they were reading Like and the winner is when that when that was being said all of a sudden I got so charged up Electricity like wait Happens and then it didn't happen. It it was like, it's such a steep letdown so quickly.

Yeah. It suddenly feels like- I never, I didn't think about it until this one moment. And now I'm like- No. And I think there's a feeling of- And it affects the party afterwards and everything. It's like, it's crazy.

It's nuts. What were you gonna say about Matt? Oh, Matt gave, Matt Gourley gave a really nice acceptance speech on behalf of the Conan show and was one of I think maybe Jamie pointed this out one of the only people we saw if not the only who thanked the listeners. Whoa, I was so shocked watching people think a long list of like people with their podcasts and not just have like a heartfelt because I'm like, this doesn't.

If we had one, would you have even have thanked Josh? I absolutely would not. And I hope that Josh is aware. Absolutely not. But I did think like, oh, is it only because we're in the comedy podcast? Are we getting a chat from Josh on that? No.

No response? Although he's in bed, like not watching this at all. Fingers in his ears saying, la la la. It's only fair, he said. OK, but I did say I was thinking like, is it because we're a comedy podcast that my instinct would be just to go like, well, I think ourselves are being funny and like we really nailed it, like whatever. It's been stupid because like everyone we really nailed it like whatever is stupid

Because like everyone else was taking it so seriously but then I was like I guess they do like Journalism with their podcast and stuff and so then that's like a whole nother level of what they're doing like we do Bullshit around and that is what's fun about it. And that's the kind of podcast I like to listen to but it's like most these categories Where people who are like with the stunning portrayal of the wars and wherever you know Indigenous Yeah exactly No they tell you The wars and the indigenous what other what other current event words are there?

It always bugs me because they tell they coach you when you're nominated for an award to give a speech, they say don't thank everyone because you can do that later after the show. Like make a speech that, the speeches that give an impact are the ones where you say something personal or you thank one person in particular or something and no one does it. And so both times that I won,

I just went up and did a comedy speech and everyone like really appreciated. And I saw Jane Lynch afterwards, she's like, I loved your speech, you know. It was like, I knew I would win over Lauren. She doesn't know who I am. It's really boring to watch people thank their agents. I'm like, I don't care.

Like, and I understand that's how it all came to be or whatever. Thank them after the show. You're on TV. That's not how it all came to be. You know what I mean? Well, no, I'm saying, but like that's how the deal was made. Yeah, exactly. I like their thanks is your 10%. Yeah. That's what the deal was made. Yeah, exactly. Like I- Their thanks is your 10%.

Yeah. That's what the money is for! I've been watching, what is that from? Mad Men. Oh yeah, yeah. I've been watching award shows my whole life and I love them so much. But like, I feel like what I always loved growing up

was like when somebody would be like, this was always my dream and like, I'm trying to make it to- Yeah, say something personal. It's like, you wanna hear that. I don't know. Yeah, or talk about the one person who inspired you, like, you know, like Tom Hanks' speech about his teacher or Really, I could have gotten up there and been like, I really appreciate how Mark Maron opened the door

for me to be able to be a voice. Exactly, exactly. Well, thank you, Lauren, for doing that for us. Really appreciate it. You're welcome. Yes. When it was finally happening, I realized, oh, this is a very nice thing that Lauren did for us

as a team. Yes. Aw, thanks. I also was like, this is kind of fun. I mean, I enjoyed myself just by making myself laugh, so I can have fun anywhere, I guess, but I had a great time. And I- Good thing anywhere, I guess. But I had a great time.

And I- Good thing you know about yourself. And I, I would, I hope we win an award soon because I was like, we need an award. And I- We need our best shoe charm. I agree.

Best shoe charm. Oh, best shoe charmies. Let's make a shoe charm that is an award. Yes. That rips off the whatever it's called. The Amby. Which rips off the Oscar. The Amby is basically an Oscar

that's holding a microphone over its head. Instead of a sword? Yeah, it's like the midpoint between an Emmy and an Oscar. It is, it's like kind of a swirly Oscar. It's better than the, what was the one I want? Like a Streamy or a Webby or something like that. It was basically just like swirling, I don't know. A lot of awards are-

Stop talking about your awards. You know- I threw it out. You threw it out? It was so bad. Yes. Aesthetically, this award goes in the trash. Wow.

It felt like it was tinfoil wrapped together. I don't know. Why didn't you put it in the loo? No, that's so- In the toilet itself. As a doorstop. We had a comedy bang bang sketch about someone who used his awards as doorstops,

but I can't remember what it is. It was such a funny idea though, but only specific to people who knew that cliche of actors using, supposedly using their awards as doorstops. I don't think anyone is doing anything funny with it. I think everyone's got it somewhere nice and that's that. Yeah. I think some people put it in the bathroom or as a doorstop or whatever.

Really? Yeah, I do. There's something so gross about it being covered in feces. What bugs me about that is they're not treating it with that irreverence when they win the award. No! They're not saying, this is going right in my toilet. This is going up my ass.

It's still doing that by, it's still giving it reverence by making it a joke in the house. Yes, exactly. Because then everyone sees it and then it's like a thing and then you talk about it. I don't need houses to be's like a thing. And then you talk about houses to be funny. But they're acting like I need houses to be hilarious. The people inside the houses can be funny if they want to try. Well, the house is hilarious. And the people are just normal.

The people inside it can be funny if they want to try. What is the funniest house in the world? Peewees House. And it's Peewees House is, of course, funny. But the real house, the Winchester now? Peewee's house? Peewee's house is of course funny, but like real house, the Winchester. The Peewee house is being fixed up a little bit and they're keeping the integrity I noticed. I drove past it. Wait, is it a real house? Yeah, in Pasadena.

It is? But inside it's not like... Well, no, I'm sure it's not like a Rube Goldberg. Like, I went to see it at one point, like a couple years ago and it was kind of messed up in the front and the stairs were like kind of cracked and you know, it wasn't, it couldn't really enter safely in the front. And now it looks like it looks a little better. Also sounds like me. Yeah.

Also sounds like you. It still looks, it still looks like the same colors. Also sounds like me. Oh my god, you guys. I'm gonna Google it. Okay, have fun with that. You can have fun everywhere. Whee! What if you said we, every time you Googled anything,

could I get a verbal commitment you will do that? Sure. Do you guys ever enjoy looking at houses that were in movies or do you not really care? In real life or online? Yeah, like in real life. I don't think I've ever gone to one. Even the Brady Bunch house I don't think I've ever driven. I went and stood in front of it, took a picture.

I just had random days, you know, to kind'll realize like, oh, I heard that was over here and then go find it. I don't know that I've ever done it. My friends hike by the Batcave and I've always kind of wanted to go to that, but it's literally like a mile away and I haven't done it. Yeah, I don't know that I've ever been outside a famous, like a famous movie house or anything. I don't think I have. The Wonder Years houses around here, I haven't been to that one. I want to go to that one. I don't think I have the wonder years houses around here

I haven't been to that one. I want to go to that. I wouldn't know that if I tripped over it Wow, you ever watch 20 years pause a giant. I did watch 20 years, but I don't remember what their house No, would you think? What would you think? What would you do if I sing with one more man? Oh yeah, Billy Vera. You guys are both wrong. It's, what would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Well, if you watch it online,

if you watch Wanderers on Hulu or whatever it's on, they put in a weird cover of that song. Oh, they can't get weird cover of that song. I hate what- Oh, they can't get the rights. But they did get the rights for the other music, I think. My friend had a legal copy of the Wander Years that I had forever because they had the music.

Well, it had all the music. And they would never air the reruns because there was some issue with that or something. I don't know if that's the- Right, you know, old contracts, they never expected anyone to ever rewatch these shows anywhere else. So they, they wouldn't put that in anywhere. So it's now like when we did the Ferns movie,

every single thing we put in it, we had to get. Paul's movie? What? My movie. Paul's movie. That's right. Yeah. Between two Ferns.

Between two Ferns. Yeah. Paul F. Tompkins. We had to get every single, every single piece of art that was in it, every single song, anything. It had to be, the contract had to be across all mediums that will ever be invented in perpetuity

through the end of time, because they never wanna be in these situations. Why don't you just make shit up? No, why don't you just sing all the songs yourself? Just me going, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Couldn't hurt the movie. Oh my God. How dare you? singing all the just me that was in it. Because it was, you know, set at a radio station and they would use actual songs.

How could they get away with that in the moment? Maybe they had a like a license like, you know how SNL does it because they have the news license, I believe. Like they're part of what sports licenses are. So basically, you know, in live events, in sporting events that they televise, the stadium will play a song and you can hear it on the event.

So they need to have a special like news license for that. And SNL is part of that. So they're able to use songs that they can't then repeat on the show. That's why so many like so many of their sketches are taken off peacock and stuff. Do people find this interesting? No. Can we do a vote?

What was more interesting that or Lauren's story? I mean, obviously it was my story. I said people. You know, I'm a person. Here's what we have to talk about. Okay. True. I haven't learned topic.

Do we have time? Or should we take a break? Lauren's top? No, we have time for one more. We have. Okay. I have another topic. Do we have time? Should we take a break? Lawrence top? No, we have time for one more Lawrence topic. We have time for one more Lawrence topic. The gnome. The gnome was a huge hit on Instagram.

It truly was. The comments were flowing. Everyone thought it was so funny. The poll was killing it. Many ha ha. The poll. Oh my God. Okay. The amount of ha ha's, first of all, there's 737 comments on this.

Like, do you understand what's like- We don't even have that many listeners. Like, that's like really good, okay? Off we go. Lots of people finding it hilarious. Classy, testicle in a hat. There's a range, okay? These are good comments?

A classy testicle in a hat. And I then did a poll and I Will say the Scott side won the poll but it was close because to yeah Because the the two votes were haha or I am Scott and I think a lot of people could not resist the fun of Pretending to be Scott for a post. Oh, it's so fun to be me. That's so true.

Just do it for a day. Pretend to be me for a day. So it was like 40 something percent said, ha ha. Waddle around your apartment. You waddle? Yep. Waddle. Like Dianne DeVito in Batman Returns.

Dianne DeVito? Dianne DeVito. Ha ha ha! Oh my god. What if there was a woman who looked exactly like Danny DeVito? Not related. Name Diane DeVito. Rio Pearlman? And she was tall too. But she still looks like Danny DeVito.

She's super tall. She's seven feet tall. I met Danny DeVito once. Uh huh, go ahead. Oh, I wanted to say something about being tall that I thought of the other day. It's so great. So when I was in Chin Chin, this is not part of a restaurant roundup. Was it called that because you're so tall

and everyone was looking at your chin? One of the waitresses had a friend. Hitting on you. No, she had a friend who was really tall and was looking for a tall woman, or was looking for a tall man to date. And she's like, how tall are you? I was going there. And she was like, how tall are you?

And I said, six, two. And she's like, okay, she's six, one. Okay, so that's good. Let me tell her about you. So I go, okay, fine. And she goes, tells her about her. And I go, okay, fine. And she goes tells her about her and then she comes back with more questions. To me, it's like, you're still trying to narrow it down

after like you're six one and you're looking for someone taller, like no more narrowing it down. So she's not allowed to have any more standards other than being one inch taller. Whatever shitty boyfriend you're offered. No. But here was her question. Cir a circus freak here was a question do

you have a hairy chest I was like no not really and then it was off like how fucking qualifications I sincerely you don't know further hope she found her tall hairy chested man. They exist. I guess they do. It's true, they do. Yeah. They do exist. According to M&M's commercial.

It doesn't exist. Adam Scott. All right, we have to take a break. Bye. Be right back. Hey Paul. Hey, it's me and Lauren. Hey.

I have stock on the door. So what are you doing here? Excuse me. Do you have stock on the door? I have stock on the door. I have stock on the door. I have stock on the door. I have stock. Hey, I have a sock on the door. Oh, so what are you doing here? Excuse me. Do you need the sock? Don't be gonzy. Okay. Hey, hey, just hide under the covers. Okay. Don't worry about it. Hey, we wanted to ask you, does anything

motivate you to cook more than having a question about my motivations? Does anything motivate you to cook more like having high-quality Ingredients on hand you know what get ready to be surprised nothing does Nothing motivates me more for that and guys I've been cooking a ton recently because of butcher box really Yeah, really, I never thought I'd be able to make pulled pork all on my own I can pull it probably because and you know my parents didn't think so either I'd be able to make pulled pork all on my own. I could pull it probably because you know my parents didn't think so either But with butcher boxes pork which is raised crate free by the way I was able to make these incredible sandwiches for our famous barbecue Wow you make your own sauce

Well, we were all shocked you made it by yourself. We didn't believe you we started The one thing I've heard about butcher box is the big draw is the convenience of it. Less trips to the grocery store, more time to enjoy cooking. Plus I also heard ButcherBox gives you curated tips and recipes based on what's in your box which as far as I'm concerned is super helpful. Well wait, the value. We've got to talk about the value. It's incredible.

Okay. You get these amazing cuts of meat that are hard to find at the grocery store and the prices are unbeatable High quality humanely raised meat with no antibiotics or added hormones delivered right to your doorstep with free shipping Paul what more could you ask for Paul? How do we get this? What if my parents were still alive? Yeah, sure sign up for butcher box today by going to butcher box comm slash Freedom and use code freedom at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone-in chicken thighs Top sirloin or salmon in every box for an entire year plus get $20 off Again, $20 off. Yeah Wow again. How do I get it butcher box comm slash freedom and use code freedom?

All right, get back in there, buddy And use code THREEDOM. All right, get back in there, buddy. One of the biggest challenges with weight loss plans is that they're often one size fits all, ignoring your unique needs, dietary restrictions or medical issues. That's where Noom comes in. Noom creates personalized plans tailored just for you. Whether you have specific dietary restrictions, medical conditions or unique personal goals, Noom meets you where

you are by focusing on your psychology and biology. Unlike other programs, Noom doesn't restrict what you can eat or shame you when you treat yourself. This personalized approach makes Noom more sustainable compared to other, more restrictive weight loss programs. With Noom, you'll learn so much about food and your eating habits. The insights and information can transform how you think about food, helping you build healthier routines and get closer to your health goals. Plus the app is super user-friendly. Stay focused

on what's important to you with Noom's psychology and biology based approach. Sign up for your trial today at Noom.com. That's N-O-O-M dot com. And check out Noom's first ever cookbook, The Noom Kitchen, for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living. Available to buy now wherever books are sold. Hey, hey, hey, huddle up guys, come here. Hey! Come on team, let's be real.

Who has the time or money to eat at restaurants all the time? Me? Well that's right, you're an eccentric millionaire, I forgot. If you've got a refined taste for food, you know how expensive exploring your local food scene can get. Plus, it's hard to find the time and energy to try somewhere new.

Well, you know what? I actually heard about something that takes care of this. What is it? Okay, Cook Unity? Oh yeah, it's the first chef to use service that delivers locally sourced meals from award-winning chefs right to your door every week. And guess what? Let me take a guess. Okay. It's cheaper than other delivery options out there. Yeah. Can I tell you something real about this? Yeah. If you're not running to check this

site out already, you need to go to cookunity.com slash freedom or enter code THREEDOM before checkout for 50% off your first week. So we started advertising with Cook Unity and we liked it so much that now we pay for it. They sent us free meals. That's wild. They sent us free meals and now we just pay for it. He's not looking at the paper.

Wow. You know what's good about it? Well, let me tell you about my experience, okay? I was gonna talk about what I was doing. I was blown away. Does know what's good about it? Well, let me tell you about my experience, okay? I was going to talk about what I like about it. I was blown away. Does no one want to hear about my experience? I was blown away. Why don't you talk about what you experienced?

Well, what I like about it is like the portion. Anytime you order food from a restaurant, you get gigantic portions and then you just eat the gigantic portions. This is like good portions that make you full at the end, but it's not crazy. So you're not like gaining weight all the time. You're sated, but you're not gorging yourself. Exactly. It's really good stuff.

I like it a lot. I personally was blown away by the taste and quality of the spicy shrimp pasta. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. It was perfectly seasoned, and the shrimp was to perfection. We had some blueberry pancakes delivered the other day.

Yum! So it's all made in advance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't cook it. It's, depending on your microwave. And they might Yeah. You don't cook it. It's um, depending on your microwave. You might heat it up. You heat it up. It's depending on your microwave. It's like two or three minutes. I do three because I have a less powerful microwave. That's a little glimpse into my life. Yeah, but yeah, it's really good. Your microwave is 10 watts. You know what else feels good? Yeah. Supporting local chefs and suppliers.

Knowing that my meals are made by talented chefs in local micro kitchens, not large production facilities, makes a huge difference to me. So experience chef quality meals every week delivered right to your door. Go to cookunity.com slash threedom or enter code threedom before checkout for 50% off your first week. That's 50% off your first week by using code freedom or going to cook unity.com slash freedom. Thank you cook unity You've surely unified the cook We're back we're back i'm paul i'm scott. We We do have to introduce ourselves again, people know who we are, right?

Why not, why not? I should have told you. Let's do it every five minutes. Ooh, that's so... Just in case people forget. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. What'd you do this weekend, Paul? Well, I'll tell you, and I'll tell you true. Tell it to me good. I want this story to be good, make it good. Tell it to me good. I want this story to be good. Make it good. We have a bunch of friends who live in our neighborhood

and we're on a text thread and it's pretty active. And once we- How many texts per day? Oh my God, I'm gonna say two to three. Whoa, that's not as many as our other one. Not counting the tap backs. Oh boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tap backs shouldn't be counted as texts, by the way.

No, they shouldn't be, they shouldn't be. But they are activity. So when you get to your phone and there's like, sometimes with our text chain, there are over 100 texts. It says you have 103 new messages and 58 of them are thumbs up. Or ha ha. I think it should be, I think we should do like, the red circle with a number in it for

the amount of actual messages and then like a purple circle with like a heart in it for the amount of tap backs. What's in the circle? I guess the number. The number? Why is there a circle? What? I think there should be a yellow circle.

It should be like the messages and it says like you have 20 messages and you have 15 tap backs. Right. I think there should also be a yellow circle that will let you know how many of them are worth your time. Yeah, that'd be nice. And that should be about every text you get. There should be some sort of filter where it like asks you 20 questions about what you find interesting or funny. How tall are you? How hairy is your chest? Yeah.

The end. Okay, just those two. By the way, we should put out a poll about that. What would the poll be, dear? How tall are you? How hairy is your chest? Okay. You don't know how tall the polls were. Those are the two halves of the poll. You can either vote how tall are you or how hairy is your chest? Okay, I'll put that up. chest. Okay, I'll put that up. So what once we were all talking about getting vaccinated and tracking our progress, I got 5g. Yeah, we were trying to each other. What is the first really? Oh, it's already available track. I got I

realized like, oh my god, if we're all vaccinated then we can hang out together indoors. Yeah. And I made an executive decision without checking with Janie and said, we're going to have a party. The earliest- How did Janie feel about this? The earliest, she felt great about it, I'm assuming.

Thank you. We're going to, you know, let's, we got to figure out when everyone is completely in the clear and then like as soon as we can after that date, let's all get together and have a party at our house. And so one of the, one of the participants in the thread made a chart of when everyone was, cause we talked about our schedules,

when everyone was getting vaccinated, first dose, second dose, and when they were fully in the clear. First dose, second dose, third dose, and when they were fully in the clear, second dose, third dose bunch. That's right. Clear. And how many doses are you going to get guys? I'm going to get done.

I'm going to get, I'm going to keep going until they tell me to stop. I want to get, I want to do it around the world and get all the different vaccines. I want to go to India next. Oh, I was thinking like Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid. I just want to see how they're different. So we just had it on Saturday and it was, we were all like giddy to be hanging out together. Like everyone was at a level that never stopped throughout the entire evening and it was really fun. And it made me so happy. Like I forgot that feeling of hosting a party.

We hadn't had people over in such a long time. And I was in the kitchen like, you know, getting something to put out. That's what I thought of, unfortunately. She wasn't there. Oh, Dinah didn't come? She, it was couples only, it was couples only. Oh, she's single. She's such an old maid. She'll die, a crone.

So I was in the kitchen getting stuff to put out and I just looked over, cause we have like an open plan. You can see the living room from the kitchen and I just looked and saw everybody sitting around and talking and it made me so happy. I was so happy. It was really, I, I, I could have lived in that feeling forever. It was, it was fantastic. I have not had that experience yet. However, my friends did go to a wedding last weekend that was, had been pushed and rescheduled,

you know, throughout the pandemic and now enough people are vaccinated. So everyone who was there was vaccinated. And heavily Instagrammed wedding. It was, and it was, I, I, I haven't seen it. Um, you don't have to say, yeah, I don't know if you know this person. Um, might Jennifer, she married this guy, Ben. No, Jennifer Lowe, Jennifer she married this guy Ben. No Jennifer low Bennifer J. Lo I mean Jennifer Lopez Jennifer low

She was the only people that would be fun is there a pez dispenser of her yeah Wow She's one of the only people with heads in her name She she deserves like can you think of another celebrity with Pez in their name? I mean, George Lopez. Sure. But someone with not named Lopez with Pez in their name. Ooh, that's a tall order, my friend. Yeah.

But no, my friend said that it was just like really overwhelming. Like at first, like she didn't want to go out of her hotel room. It was kind of like, oh, everyone's by the pool. It's kind of a thing. And then she went out and then everyone just got trashed and had. Yeah, I'll bet. I'll bet. Yeah. We went through a lot of booze, like the what I put the recycling out the next day. It was a symphony of clanks. Yeah.

The people people are always like, oh, it's going to take me so long to figure out how to talk to people again or whatever. It's like two minutes. I know, I know. You know what I mean? That's not my concern. My concern is not social awkwardness, like how am I going to have a conversation? It's more like the getting over the fear that being close to someone is bad.

Like I feel like that's the part that's hard for me to forget. Like standing next to someone and being, not being worried at all seems weird. Or not being obsessive about, like, you know, washing my hands after I touch my male. Yeah. Your butt. Yeah, I call my butt my male because it's my most male feature. Because you've been doing squats. Yeah, it's so ripped.

It looks like a run of things. It's ripped. My ass is jacked. Your ass is swole. It's so hard. Caked. Caked up. Caked.

I haven't heard that one. I got a couple little cake donuts back there. A couple little cake donuts. How many, Lauren, how many times have you ever looked at a butt and went, nice butt? To yourself. Oh, a bunch. Are you kidding me? Don't you guys like butts?

Wait, did you say, Scott, did you say you say it to yourself? To yourself. Yeah. Oh, okay. In your head, you're like, nice butt. I definitely have never said it just to some stranger. Um, what about to a friend? To see a great ass, you're going to notice it.

I mean. I've never said it to someone, but See a great ass, you're gonna notice it. I mean. I've never said it to someone, but I've said it about someone. Oh, okay. I've said it about people. I think butts can be great, you know. I think if someone has a great butt, you should say it to their face.

I'm sure anyone would be happy to hear that. Why don't you say it to their butt? They're doing all the work. That's true. Their face may be busted. Hey, you're great. Just lean down. Nice job. Hey, bend over for a second. I just gotta say, if you fart busted. Hey, you're great. Just lean down. Nice job.

Hey, bend over for a second. I just gotta say, if you'd fart in my mouth, I'd be... Jesus. You know what sucks? This doesn't, no, it doesn't suck, but it's funny because my mom just started listening to 3Dom. Oh no, hi Triage! Hi Triage!

Well, she just got an iPhone and so it's kind of changed the game with how easy it is to access all these things. I mean, I don't know. It became very easy for her to find it. So what was she rocking before? Samsung Galaxy I had a lot of Android users in my family and there's they're slowly turning. I think I only have one green text left Some people get very mad when you talk about this. Yeah, and it's look it's all fucking Oh, I think it's all fucking,

don't take it so seriously. I will say I wanted to leave as my phone user many times. I've almost gotten different phones, but then I just think, I really know how to use this one, and then I have to learn the whole thing. Cause I know other phones can be better. But you know, Mike had a Google phone for a minute,

and I really liked it. We both almost turned completely to that. By the way, we'll accept any phones that anyone wants to give us. Oh, if you want to send me a phone, sponsor us. Please just send us phones. We'll talk about your phone. Don't send us iPods or iPads. God, you know, Scott, people really... This is relatable chat.

Please send us first generation iPods. I still have two clicker iPods, by the way. They're great. I'm sure you do Yeah, here's the problem with the touchscreen iPods which I have one But you can't fast forward while you're looking at the road Like if like clicking something you can feel it But you can't just like tap a screen and guess where the fast forward button is. Like you're trying to what, fast forward what?

Just like skip over a track or whatever. You can do that. You can do that, Scott. I'm saying you gotta memorize how far in your thoughts go. Oh no. You just, you just want to be contrary. No, it's actually that I'm on my phone so much that I can do a lot without... Yeah! Motherfucker.

Oh, shit. How contrary. Did you guys have a mentor when you were starting out in comedy? Someone was just telling me about their mentor and I was thinking, that's cool. He had kept like a document of, um, I mean, I know that I was yours. I didn't, but I do, I do remember getting a lot of unsolicited advice. Is that the same thing? That's interesting. I didn't know. I didn't have a person like that. I didn't have like someone that I looked to for, not that I, I, yeah, I don't, I don't think that I did. There were people that I admired and everything, but nobody kind of took me under their wing in that way or yeah, not that I, not that I recall.

Bob Odenkirk did for me. He was very nice and he would come to all of my shows. He would sometimes, he would sometimes like say, Hey, what if I introduced it? Because he knew that would be meaningful to the audience, you know? So he would go up and introduce it. He would be in some of the shows. He'd be like, hey, even if you guys think this isn't funny,

I just want to let you know I'm just going to stand up here and introduce it. So maybe it'll make you think maybe it is funny. I would count Bob and David's mentors when I worked on that show. I mean, I learned so much. But they were, they were very patient teachers in terms of comedy,

in terms of like, you know, like explaining something rather than just saying, this isn't good enough, do it again. It was like. Anyone has their moments where they'll shoot something down or have a caustic way to shoot something down or whatever. But they were, for the most part, you'd come in with an idea

and they would take it seriously and not just go like, that sucks. Yeah. They would take an hour sometimes to like go through it and because then that was all a reaction to SNL, I think. Yes, absolutely. And Bob's experience on it. Absolutely.

Yeah, I would say him. And I'm trying to think of any restaurants that I had. Oh boy. I was also thinking about this too because. Joe Cordial. Mike and I just did Naomi Perrigan and Andy Beckman's podcast, Couples Therapy. And we were telling one of the stories

about when we first were in the same room as each other, which I think I've told on Freedom, which is when Mike brought Gary Shanley to UCB. Oh yeah, yes, yes. And they were like, why would he go to UCB? And he was just saying like, he was, Gary was so cool and like wanting to like, see what people were doing now and like,

keeping, you know, keep up to date with everything. He would do that a lot. I would see him at shows. And it's so, that's so cool. Cause I think that's like, that is really rare. Like once you- Oh, for sure. I mean, I feel like I've been doing improv for like, I don't know, 17 years now or something.

And I don't really, I know. And I don't really want to go see something. You know what I mean? Like I'm like, I'm excited to stay home. I mean, now that we've had a year of staying home, it might feel a little differently, but like, Right. I go to UCB now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right now I would leave this and go do something. But I, but I feel like that's such a cool trait to have as someone who people admire, that they still go to the shows and are a good audience. I would say one other person that mentored me in a smaller way, definitely, because Bob was a big one, would be Jeff Garland, in a way. Jeff would, I saw him very early on,

I went to go see him up in San Francisco. I saw him very early on, I went to go see him up in San Francisco. I saw him verily. Verily. Yonder he stood. Is this poem about Jeff Garland? I should write poems about everyone I know. Okay. No, I went to see him.

I didn't want to say it. Yeah, put on a book. Yeah. Yeah, publish a book. Yeah. Publish a book. I went to see him in San Francisco record his half-hour HBO special or something like that. And he saw me in the crowd and thanked me. And ever since then, he would ask me on every show he did. He put me in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I didn't audition or anything. He just gave me a part. You were a cop? I was a cop, yes, in the Palestinian chicken episode. Nice. But yeah, I would say for him, he would do that. He put me on like shows with Robin Williams and stuff like that. And like he was always very generous with me. Yeah, and like Robin Williams is another example where I feel like there are so many stories

of him showing up to theaters and just like wanting to jump in and meet people and have fun. And like that's like the coolest thing. I mean, for a young person improvising to have like Robin Williams show up and want to do something. I definitely want to do that kind of thing. Like I want to, I was feeling that very strongly, like right before the pandemic, feeling like I want to go just see shows. Like I used to, I used to spend so much time watching shows.

You know what I mean? Cause I'd go, I'd go do a show and then I just watch whatever else happened after. And I really was feeling like I want to feel that connection to the community again. I want to know who people are. I want to see what's happening. I agree with you. I was thinking about my Chicago days where it was just the most fun to just stumble into the theater and see what was going on and just hang out. Oh, I was drunk or high.

You would tumble out of bed. You would tumble out of bed, and you'd stumble into the show. But you just could show up at any point, and there's someone to hang out with, someone to talk to, and a show to watch. And it's something to do any night. And that's always there.

As you do it longer and longer, that becomes less of a thing to do with your time. But it does, in a nostalgic way, I'm like, as you do it longer and longer, that becomes less of a like thing to do with your time. But like it does in a nostalgic way. I'm like, oh, that seems like it'd be really nice. And it is a fun time. People like, you know, Jason Manzoukas to do a weekly show and stuff like that. I always enjoy that.

Yeah. We should do a... Do a break time? Oh, what? Go ahead. Oh, yeah, we can do a break time. What were you gonna say? We should do a live three times every week? We should do what? Are do a... Do break time? Oh, what? Oh, yeah, we can do a break time. What were you gonna say, we should do a live, three of them every week? We should do what? Are you suggesting we do something?

Yeah! What? I don't know anything! What do you guys wanna do? You wanna put on a play? We've been begging you to do live stuff and you're like, no. I don't wanna do it from the computer.

You're like, what does that pay? It's fun on the computer! Even before the computer stopped! What? I've been on tour with you guys. What are you talking about? You're like, what does that pay? What I've been on tour with you guys, what are you talking about? That was what you what that's what you suggested We suggested you say no do it on zoom or die It's fun We've been doing these on online shows and it's been really fun. It's just silly how we have a good time. And you're invited, you turd. Not to those shows.

That's still just me and Lauren. Oh, what? No, yes, but we don't want to give a wrong idea. We want them to get what they're paying for. You're invited to start your own show and invite us to do it. No, thank you. But do you know how easy it would be for you?

You just sit right where you are right now. I don't want to sit here. I don't wanna sit here. I barely wanna sit here now. Sit someplace else then, stupid. Oh my God. I wanna stand. Why aren't you against it? Sit in the garage with the cats.

Do you think it's sad that we have to perform on the computer? I just, no, I just don't. Like it's impressive. I have to do that. Over the pandemic, I've had to do it so much. Yeah, I know. And then work on, you know, doing working on Bang Bang like a whole extra day now, you know, working on the editing it together and all that stuff is like, I just I just don't, you know.

Well, you should look better people. What I think is that it makes it the show all the time. It makes. Yeah, but not. I do the show some of the time. If I did the show all the time, we wouldn't have this problem. All right. I think that when you know there's people watching, it makes the difference in the vibe.

There's a difference in the vibe from if you're just zooming with a friend and it feels like after a while, it doesn't take long for it to feel like this doesn't feel that great. You know what I mean? It feels awkward then like the thing that we're doing right now there there's a difference in vibe to that where you feel a little more charged up knowing that there's people going to listen to this eventually yeah and then there's a feeling of knowing that people are watching live is like

it's I can't believe how much it feels like a show. Like it really feels fun. It does really make you feel different. And it's like, I feel like I'll be like sweaty and like putting in, you know, you have to put in a lot of energy from your soul because you're projecting something trying to be humorous through a computer, which is harder. Yeah. There's no gauge on laughter and-

You sound like a scientist. Well, I've been studying. You don't look like one. You're so pretty. No, you're so pretty. All right, let's go to a break. Hey, Scott. Hey, buddy. What's going on? Oh, I want to talk to me. I want to talk to you about something. Yeah, buddy.

Do you know athletic greens? The what? Let me make it more specific, AG1. What about it? Yeah, AG1, we all know what that is. I wanted to improve my gut health because my gut health was not good. Right.

And so that's why I tried AG1. Okay, yeah, you've told me all this before. And, but I haven't told you this. Oh, okay. Since drinking AG1 daily, I've felt a big difference. Oh oh I wondered how it was working yeah it's made a big difference oh yeah I feel more relaxed and even and and even keel perhaps my keel feels much more even throughout the day yeah I'm even keeled that's so good for you I also feel like I have more energy

I also feel like I have more energy. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do organization, stress management, and immune support. When I think of a foundational nutrition, I think of the founding fathers, and I think of all of them drinking AG1. Yeah, I like to think of Washington crossing the Delaware, and instead of pointing to where he wants to go, he's just like... Yeah, he's got a big thermos. Yeah. Since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline health. Man, Paul, I love that every scoop includes folate, magnesium, and ashwagandha for stress

support. Help us ashwagandha, you're our only hope. I recommend AG1 to all my family and friends because it is tested for 950 contaminants and NSF certified for sport. That's right. Even my parents, my friends, my family, etc. have started drinking AG1. They always tell me how energetic they feel. Why don't they tell me? I feel like I'm the guy that got this whole thing started. I know, but they don't have your number.

Well, they have thought of truly everything to make AG1 the perfect supplement for your health. We love the taste. If there's one product that I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1 the perfect supplement for your health. We love the taste. If there's one product- Don't we folks? That I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. And that's why I'm excited to welcome them as a new partner. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1, get a free one year supply of vitamin D3K2

and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash freedom. That is drinkag1.com slash freedom. Aura frames. Oh, let's talk about them. What are they? First of all, what are, if you've been living, uh, in the center of the earth with all the magma and the underground mole people, maybe you don't know what an Aura frame is, but look, what are they?

They're beautiful, wifi connected digital picture frames that allow you from afar to share and display unlimited photos. You just through the app, you send the Aura frame, any photo you want, and it comes up on the rotation. I love them. This is, we've talked about them on the show. This is the greatest invention.

Maybe GPS is up there with great inventions in the modern era, but the Aura frame is the greatest invention. The quality of the pictures, unreal. I love the algorithm that puts two photos together that sort of match. It's always funny to go like, oh, that one went with that one.

I love how simple it is to set up. It's such a nice way to rotate through really beautiful memories. It's super easy to upload and share photos via the Aura app. And if you're giving Aura as a gift, you can even personalize the frame with preloaded photos and memories

from grandmothers to new mothers, aunts, even the friends in your life. Every mom will love being gifted an Aura frame this Mother's Day. Named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and selected as one of Oprah's favorite things, trademarked. Aura frames are guaranteed to bring joy to moms of all ages. You know, what ages could a mom possibly be?

You know, 130? Yeah, she'll love it. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframesFrames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That is A-U-R-A-Frames, AuraFrames.com. Use code THREEDOM at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. And we're back. And guess what, what everyone I don't know.

Oh, I forgot. I should have said everyone except Lauren and Scott. Oh, you want them to guess? Yes. But we're the ones who don't know. Look, if you guys want to guess, you can guess. OK, I'm going to guess what? Your guess is what? Yeah. Well, the answer is chicken butt. Oh, what? Nice butt chicken. No, that chicken has a nice fart my face on its ass.

Oh, look at that chicken says do chickens fart when the chickens who cares out of the Chloe guy? What do you do? Okay, Scott, hold on a second. If you have that information, what do you do with it then? Well, I'm just wondering because like, do they have the parts to fart? Do they fart parts? What? Everything farts. Every single thing. Worms don't fart. I'm sure.

How do you know anything that poops can fart because air can be compressed. What has the loudest farts? You. Elephants? The loudest fart? I'll Google it. Alright, I'll see you guys later. Whee! Whee!

Paul actually left. Oh my god, it's an autofil. People actually want to know that. People want to know! Hippo farts. Hippos! There seems to be little doubt among the world wide web that the loudest fart on earth is the hippo fart. except it's not.

One video is haunting the world. What a twist! Hippo farts are virtually silent. As people who have seen hippos in the World Wide Web... Why is it coming up in huge bold that it's hippo farts if it's not? Okay, but the loudest fart ever recorded was 113 decibels. Ever recorded. By the name... you guys have to hear the name. Oh my God.

By Herkimer Chort. No, this is fake. Herkimer Chort, Guinness Book of World Records. Wait, it was a guy? Herkimer? And his name is Chort? Well, you thought it'd be a woman? I mean, no, I thought it would be an animal.

I thought I thought an animal was coming and I thought Herkimer was just the person who recorded it. Yeah. So whales let out really big farts. Sea lions are the smelliest. OK, I'm glad that's all squared away. And now it's time. Herkimer Chort has the loudest fart at 113 decibels. Does he have a Wikipedia page?

He should be a limerick. Why does this happen? There once was a herkimerchort. There once was a herkimerchort. He wanted to record a loud fort. So he stuck his butt up in the air, said- Wait, herchimerchort? Oh, so he stuck his butt up in the air said wait her chamber short let sound break free Here the rhyme scheme. It's not good. Let out the world's the meter. Oh, it's with a K

Okay, her camera sure. Oh, and then they have the image is like a dude a fat dude holding his nose like it's smelly Is that him? Oh My god, I That dude holding his nose like it's smelly. Is that him? Oh my God. I refuse to look. Who was the first person to fart in the world? This is literally a question. What, come on! What answer did they expect?

But I have to tell you the answer. It says, born Joseph Pujol. What? Okay, come on. Please guys. From France in 1857. No one ever fucked him. Before him?

whatever before him. But it's like. I say, oh, P.U. J.O.L. Pujol good stuff. Oh, God. That's like that's like what Google is showing me. It's not I'm on some weird website. This is a fact. It's not, I'm on some weird website. This is a Wikipedia. Yeah, these are facts.

All right, Paul. That was so weird. Google is just showing me weird websites. I'm not on one. All right, it's time for one of our famous three-chars. People talk about this all the time. They are constantly telling their families that we're doing this.

And it's a little game that we like to play and we get a different game each time and they're submitted by fans or Josh So this is a game called five second Not a fan. He actually does not like the show, but he keeps sending us games This game is called five second rule is submitted by tamer tamer The object is to name three things in five seconds. Player one comes up with a question, such as name three famous Jennifers, more of a command. Player two has five seconds to answer.

If they succeed, they get a point. If they fail, player three gets a chance to answer the same question, but player three cannot reuse any of the ones that were already said. They must come up with three brand new answers. You keep alternating between players two and three until someone wins a point. So, okay, this looks like we would take turns

being the person giving the topics. Yes. And then how many points to win? That's a good question and Something if you're given point until someone wins a point. Oh until someone wins a point and then okay got it got it That's weird one point doesn't seem like enough then let's say five Yeah, because we're gonna get five seems too much. Let's do three points three for freedom three for freedom Scott Very I got you back, I love you.

I got you back. I love you. Wow. Okay, okay, okay. All right. Who's counting the five seconds? Or should we just go like this? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Whoever's the moderator will do that. All right. Who, would anyone like to be moderator? Why don't you moderate first? I'll moderate first. That means I have to think of things which is the worst. And wait, and then who goes, we each go one at a time. Yeah, so you wanna go first, Lauren,

and I'll go second each time? Okay. Okay. All right. So Lauren's first? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, Lauren, name three red fruits. Apple, strawberry, pomegranate. Scott, name three playground things.

Swing set, slide, and the rings that you, the monkey bars. Lauren. One point a piece. This game's gonna be over in two seconds. Lauren, name three things you can see in the sky. Birds, clouds, airplane. Scott. One airplane?

Name three famous boats. Titanic, the one from Jaws and the one from the... Didn't get it. Lauren, name three famous boats. The Queen Mary, the... The Minnow. The Minnow. The Minnow. The Minnow, the Penta, the Santa Maria.

Oh, there's three right there. That would have been good. It would have been good. All right, what is the score? Am I supposed to be keeping track? We really had to learn about those boats a lot. I think we're two and two, the Woolery. It was very important that we knew the names of those boats.

All right, Scott. Lauren, you can, oh wait, does it go to Lauren first? Oh no, it goes to me now because she wasn't able to do it. Ooh, I can win. Oh, okay, okay. I'll be the first to three. Does she get a chance to tie me at three? Yeah, we all do.

No, I don't think so. I think it's either you get this or you don't. New round after that. And then it'll be. Yes. All right, Scott, name three candy bars. Snickers, three musketeers, almond joy. All right, then Scott is the first to three.

Oh, so I win. So now, I think so, yes, right? Isn't that what we just decided? Oh, so now I think so. Yes. Right. And then we'll be just so now it's a new now it's a new round. Good. So I'm going to say that counts as one point. Oh, like in the round, you want to be the first to three and then you earn one. Because then whoever gets to three. So wait, then Paul, then Paul has to do it some more. No, then I'm going to do I'm going to moderate now.

OK, got it. You guys. OK, got it. Yes. Because then it'll be like, it's like going to the Super Bowl. Yeah. It's like brackets. It's brackets. OK, it's brackets. It's brackets.

Like attending the Super Bowl. It's like what, Scott? Like attending the Super Bowl, not as a player, but like watching. No, it's like brackets. Hmm. OK, got it. OK. Yeah.

Paul first. We established it's like brackets. Okay, got it. Okay. Yeah. Paul first. We established it's like brackets. Paul first. Paul is going to go first and then I'm going to say, name three flavors of Skittles. Blue, red, yellow. That's not it. Okay, Scott, name three flavors of Skittles.

Bitch. Tangy farts. What? I don't know. Are they different flavors? Lemon, watermelon, okay. Yeah, who knows? Do Skittles have eyes?

Okay, well that was a bust. Okay, your category is, Paul, name three brands of SUV. Oh, Chevy, Dodge, Ford. Those are car manufacturers, not SUVs. Oh my God. Okay, fine, Scott's turn. Tahoe. That's all I can think of.

Ah! Bronco, Bronco. I had a Bronco once. Time's up. Tahoe, Bronco, that's all I can think of. Whenco, Bronco. I had a Bronco once. Tahoe Bronco. When you were running from OJ or with him. Oh, my God. OK. I had a white Bronco. You did. OK. It got stolen outside of Cafe Cartier.

I don't know. How many times do we know who stole our cars? OJ Simpson. 100%. It's kind of ridiculous. Okay. So, so far, nobody has points. I'm doing a really good job as the moderator actually. Okay. You are. You're really shutting us down. Okay. Okay. Now Paul named three Apple products. Uh, iPhone, iPod, uh, Apple TV. You got it. Okay, Scottod, Apple TV. You got it.

Okay, Scott, name three television networks. CBS, ABC, Fox. Okay. I'm making it easy now. Everyone has a point. Okay, Paul, name three black and white animals. A cow, a skunk, a tuxedo cat. Good job.

Okay, Paula has two. Scott, name three animals that have green somewhere on them. Somewhere on them? A frog, a toad, and... I don't know. Oh! Nice. Now I can answer, right? Paul, yes.

Okay. A turtle, an iguana, a grasshopper. Good job. Paul, you got three points. Okay, so then. That means you have a point. Paul, he'shopper. Good. Whoa, Paul, you got three points. Okay. That means you have a point. He's got one big point. I have a point.

I have a big point. Paul has a big point. Okay. And now I got to you. Everybody's got a big point, Dotty. And not me. All right. Are you guys ready?

Not Dotty. What was the waitress's name in the, in Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Oh, I don't know. Simone. Simone. Who goes first? Lauren probably goes first. Yeah. I haven Adventure? Simone! Simone. Simone. Who goes first? Lauren probably goes first, right? Yeah, haven't gone in a while.

Okay. Lauren, name three bands that start with R. Radiohead. Oh man. Paul, name three bands that start with R. Replacements. R-E-M. R-E-X-T-H-E-N, R-E-M,

Rex Bingfield. That's not a band. That's not a band. Okay. Okay, so now Lauren. Lauren, name three things that have cotton in them. Cotton balls, Q-tips, tissue. Does tissue have cotton? Yeah, I guess so.

Does tissue have cotton? Is tissue made of cotton? I don guess so. Does tissue have cotton? Is tissue made of cotton? I don't know. Like Kleenexes? Let me look it up. You want me to look it up? Yeah.

Should we go to the judges? All right. Are tissues made of cotton? Does tissues fart? Who is first tissue? Some are. Some are. Okay, great.

I got it. Okay, great. Paul. Hi. Name three words in the Constitution. We the people. What if you were clearly trying to help Paul win? Lauren, name three constitutional amendments.

Free speech. Um, the right to. Fuck. All right, Paul. Too fast. Yeah. You're. The right to. Fuck. All right, Paul. I think too fast. Yeah, you're you start counting faster. You didn't know anyways. Now, I'm free constitutional amendments. No, anyway, your time is.

Repeal of prohibition. Oh, my God. OK, now we go to Lauren. Lauren, name Oh my god. You're counting too fast. Okay fine. And now we go to Lauren. Lauren, name three presidents before 1980. Nixon, Abraham Lincoln, Washington. Yes. Paul, name three presidents since 1980.

William Jefferson Clinton, Donald J. Trump, Barack Hussein Obama. All right, Lauren, name three. How many points do I have? I think, wait, I don't even know. We haven't been counting. Shit.

Yeah, we haven't been. Okay, two and two, Josh said. We'll just say two and two. Oh, Josh, see Josh should be the one. The old Chuck Woolery. All right, so Lauren, you can win. You can win with this, ready? All right, here we go.

Lauren, name three things in a freezer. Popsicles, ice pack, corn. There you go, you won with corn. We all have a big point a piece. Okay. We each have one big point. Now. Okay. This round, um, this round is for two big points. Okay. Okay. And I'm going to moderate. So whoever gets three in this round gets two big points.

Yeah, exactly. And what are we and what are we playing to? Three big points. Three big points. OK, so if I win, I win. But then it's a bracket system. So the next person up against you and then that we'd have to see who got the three points and then we do the final. You forgot about the bracket, Scott. OK, OK, OK. All right.

We do the bracket now. This is the bracket. This is part of the bracket. All right. All right. The bracket is whoever gets between the two of you, whoever gets this, okay. Is going to the finals. Okay. Great. Okay. Um, okay. Who's the five of the trolls? You're going to Paul. I'm going to Scott first. So into Paul first last time. Okay. Great. Scott name three Shakespearean plays. Othello, Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet. Great.

Those were my three. Paul. Name three Woody Allen films. Manhattan, Midnight in Paris, Annie Hall. Great. You each have one point. Scott. You'd be one point. Scott. You'd be good at it in a game show.

Scott. You're so pretty and then to be that smart. Scott, name three possible eye colors for a human. Blue, brown, black. Black. Black. That's for demons. All right.

Brown. No, you don't get the point. Great. I don't think people have to qualify. Stop naming things! I don't think people can have black eyes. Wait, do people have black eyes? Let me look.

I think they're both black eyes. Well, black eyes, people have black eyes. I think they're dark brown. I don't think you put black in your driver's license. Hold on. True black eyes do not exist, contrary to popular belief. Well, but my belief was popular.

Well, that's something. Enjoy that. Okay, so Scott, or Paul, name three eye colors. Well, he kept naming things, so what do I do here? Yeah, so you can't name any of them. Can't name any of those. Do it in time, and you'll, you can repeat any he said. Hazel, green, gray.

I said green. I said he can repeat the ones you said. Yeah, that was just because. Well, because you kept going after you. Yes, you kept going. He automatically gets a point. OK, automatically. OK, Scott, name.

Now I have two points and Scott has one point. Is that correct? Yeah. Scott, name three things you can ride a horse a bicycle a unicycle, okay Paul name three things you see a circus elephant ringmaster cloned Okay, you got three points then you got a big point Big point to go to the finals. I'm sorry.

You have three. You have three big points. I have three big points. I'm going last. So wait, now it should be between me and Lauren and you should moderate. Exactly. So Paul's going to moderate between us and we'll see who's going to the finals against Paul.

And then whoever goes into the finals, the other person moderates. Yeah, okay. All right. Go to Lauren first. Go to Lauren first. Lauren, name three animals you can see in your neighborhood. A dog, a coyote, a cat.

Okay. Scott, name three animals you can't see in your neighborhood. Zebra, lion, jaguar. Jaguar. You each have one point. Okay. Lauren, name three scary bugs.

Beetle, roach, spider. Those aren't scary. You don't have two points. I'm scared. Oh, scary to you? Scott. Name, Name three types of rug.

Parisian, the kind Aladdin flies on, and a toupee. You can think of magic carpet. The kind Aladdin flies on. I guess I'll give you that. You each have two points. Okay. Give her a hard one Lauren Name three colors that are not that are not named in the ROYGBIV spectrum turquoise sapphire

ruby Wow Lauren you have three big you have three big points turquoise sapphire Ruby whoa Lauren you have three big you have three big points. Oh my god I know this is so big okay cool, so now it's Whoever gets the first point or whoever gets to three points with no it can't be the first point because it's right This is make sense okay, whoever gets to three so to three But who we have to flip a coin to see who goes first because that person has the advantage. Gotta F that C.

Do you have a coin, Josh? I don't have a coin. Josh, why don't you just say like, Josh picks a number between- Pick a number between one and 10. And then whoever gets- No, one and 100, one and 100. Whoever gets the closest. Yeah, okay, he's picked. All right. You can go over, but you have to be closest. No, one in a hundred, one in a hundred. Whoever gets the closest.

Yeah, okay, he's picked. You can go over, but you have to be closest. Yeah, whoever's closest. Between one in a hundred, right? One in a hundred, yeah. Ninety-nine. Sixty-four. Well, you should have just done ninety-eight.

Okay, who's closest? Lauren was closest, it was eight. Okay, Lauren, you go first. Okay. All right, here we go. Ready. Name three books that you have in your house. I have, oh God, why can't, minor feelings, detransition baby.

Dang. Okay, Paul. The Holy Bible. My favorite thing is monsters as above so below. You actually have a Bible? I do have a Bible. Yeah. I was gonna say Bible to that. I don't know about yeah, you know, Bible Bible. They're fun. So much fun. Bible so much fun. So fun. It's so funny to. It's like naturally funny. That was fun and funny. Jesus was funny. Jesus was funny.

Like the stuff he would say. Jesus was funny. All right, Paul, you have one point. Thank you. All right, and now I go to Lauren. Yes, you do. Lauren, name three bands that start with B. The Bengals, the Bee Gees, the Beatles.

Very good. Paul, name three bands that start with W. The Wellingtons, the Wasabi Nuts. The Wasabi Nuts. Lauren, you have one point. They're tied up. We're tied up. And now we go to Lauren again. Okay.

Well, wait, she has to name three, three bands. Oh, sorry. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. Three, three bands to start with W. Okay. The Weepies, um, Whitney Houston. All right. So now we go to Paul. Yes. All right, Paul, name three things in a sushi restaurant. California roll wasabi. Lamb liver plate. Sorry, you did not beat the clock.

I started, I started answering before you made that horrible noise, but go ahead. Okay. All right, Lauren. Ready? Yep. And go. Salmon, tuna, waders. Okay, Lauren, you have two points.

All right, Paul, you gotta get this to stay in the game. I gotta get this to stay in the game. All right, Paul. This is big, yes. Name three types of rocks. Igneous, geode, pop. I was so close.

Lauren, name three types of rocks for the win. OK, um, Canyon. All right, Paul, you're lucky. You can stay in the game. All right, Paul, name three things a gardener would use in his job. A hose, a hoe, and a rake. Very good.

Paul, you have two points. Lauren, you can win right now. Okay, okay. All right. And I would go up against you? No, you'll just win. No, you would win the whole thing. Oh. This is the finals, baby. This. All right. And I would go up against you. No, you'll just win the whole thing. Oh, this is the finals, baby.

Lauren, name three football players. Uh, uh, uh, uh, Tony Romo. All right, Paul, you can win. Name three football players. Go. Ron Jaworski, Bill Berge, Jim Brown. You did it. Paul, you fucking rigged that. So the man would win. You know, I love football.

You could tell by the choices I made. No, that was a really fair game. That was really awesome. I like that game. I thought it was really fun. And I liked the bracket system. I mean, I'm the big loser and I'm I had so far. That's true.

Now it's not so far. Here you rub it in. That was great. All right, honey. All right. Well, see you later. Yeah. Well, keep listening to freedom. Whenever it's on, you can usually tell because it's like Thursday and it comes comes. Yeah. And there's probably like a bell rings in your town. Um, but please do, uh, uh, review us and rate us and share us and all that shit. We love you guys. Thank you so much for listening to our silly show. We really are happy to be able to keep doing it.

Love you. Bye. We love you. Bye. Bye. Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common. They take your money and you can't get it back. 16 grand somewhere in there. Gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Dough. I'm X-Mayo. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby. The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it all.

The Dough is out now wherever you get your podcasts. baby. The good, the bad and the unexpected. Yeah, we're talking about it all. The dough is out now wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sam Smith and welcome to The Pink House. I love being in The Pink House with you. Join me as I talk to my friends and some amazing queer icons about their idea of home, like Elliot Page, Joakim Booster and Gloria Estefan. Gloria Estefan Music was always my escape. It was my happy place. The Pink House from Lemonada Media is out now. You can listen ad free on Amazon Music

or wherever you get your podcasts.