Threedom - Threevisting: Missappearing
Episode Date: May 23, 2023Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul, and Lauren discuss their favorite cartoons, singing styles and play No to No. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to threedomus...a@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).
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3
Hold on a second. Oh, go to that right.
Dangerfield with a horse.
That's the bad boy.
Who did that turn out to be?
That turned out as Arthur Morgan, of course.
Who's Arthur Morgan?
I'm glad you didn't know.
Because I was like, who's Arthur Morgan, of course.
Of course.
Some politician, I'm not aware of.
No, he was.
You know, now you know almost every politician.
I do, I do, but I try to say open up and do what the do. You have a thing where you tell your fans, try to stump know almost every politician. I do I do but I try to say open
what the do you have a thing where you tell your fans try to stump me with a
politician. I do what I say. I mean I'm the Lauren.
Yes. Try again. I can't be like you do.
That's right. And if they stump you they get to punch you in the stomach as hard as
that. Exactly. Who do you style? Who? Who do you need? Who's that third base?
D. D. D. Who? D. D.
Who's who? Teenie a thing? A really small shirt. D-E-D. D-E-D. Who's D-E-D? Is Houtini a thing?
A really small, it's a shirt, and it's a grape drink.
Oh, Houtini.
We're going Houtini.
It disappears into my stomach.
It's a miss, it's a miss-a-peer.
Miss-a-peer.
Hi everyone, welcome back.
Three dumb.
I haven't spoken much today.
We're here, we're back.
It's three dumb. Welcome back. Let's introduce each other. We're back. It's three to time.
Let's welcome back.
Let's introduce each other.
I'm Lauren.
That's not interesting.
She's Lauren.
What do you guys do?
This is Lauren.
This is Lauren.
Okay, your turn.
Okay, well, she's Lauren.
I'm Paul.
This is Paul.
Paul.
No, yeah.
Paul.
I'm Paul.
I'm prepared in a very specific way.
I had no idea that your name was Pala left.
Yes.
People misproused it all, but sorry.
Pala, la, la, la, la.
Oh my god, you're driving.
Pala.
I'm Scott.
Hi everyone.
That's Scott.
Welcome back.
Welcome back to 3DOM.
We're here.
It's good to be back, guys.
It's G2BB.
It's G2BB for sure, she's.
You have the most giant water thing and with the with the biggest
lip. The most amazing water thing. I suck water out of my gaping one wound. This is a beautiful
water bottle and actually the other day at Comedy Bing Bing I had a different one with a straw
and we were talking about how I was explained to Matt Walsh that the straw one was great because
if I try to drink him bed with this one it it spills all over me. And because it's the it's the widest mouth mouth.
Yeah. Um, of any reception. I think Mark, wait, you like to fuck this? I do. I do.
It's time for you like to fuck this. It's a great water bottle. It's called a hydro
flask. Keeps it super cold. Okay. So it's great because it keeps it cold. It's a great water bottle. It's called a hydrofloss keeps it super cold. Okay, so it's great because it keeps it cold.
It has.
It's probably, I mean, but if you're hard drinkin' they're gonna get all cold.
Just gonna keep it hot.
Yeah, believe me.
It says a bigger mouth than Nick Crow over here.
It does, but you know what?
It's great because I have a lot of opportunity.
Nope, I haven't gotten an opportunity.
I'm about to.
You're doing okay.
I want to be a big mouth. I love this water bottle because I like to drink water all day long and it's big so I'll have a lot of water all day.
So do you just go right through you or are you like peeing everywhere all the time?
I poop it out.
You poop out?
Really?
Yeah, you asked.
Just solid water waste.
Yes, it's just a splash every time it's like ice cubes.
Yeah.
Crinkling, crankling.
Yeah, crankling.
Yeah, like the toilet.
That is so cute.
I'm just so cute.
Do you remember the penguin in that old Bugs Bunny cartoon?
Oh, it's so cute.
That cute little one.
Yeah, he would take a shit in the Bugs Bunny.
Yeah, he takes a shit.
And they were ice cubes.
Yeah, they were ice cubes.
He Bugs Bunny, for some reason, is in the like an Arctic or whatever.
And this penguin is who's wearing a top hat.
It's one of the cutest cartoons out there, right up there with the bulldog who is forced
to adopt the kitten.
Yeah, I love that.
That's the thing that led to a bunch of great memes.
That was that original.
I was wondering where those memes came from.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the penguin, he bugs, but he's trying to get rid of the penguin and the penguin
Christ ice cubes.
Oh, they make a very adorable little tink, tink, tink sound when they fall.
I love to hear about creative people coming up with things like that.
It's so cute.
I bet they didn't come up with it though, because remember, remember the day the clown cried
way it was in there too.
The Jerry Lewis concentration camp movie.
It was when he went, it was so cold in his cell in the, when he was jailed.
Right.
Before he goes to the concentration camp.
No, he was in the concentration camp.
No, he's in the concentration camp.
Yeah, that's right.
He's in the concentration camp and he's got a private cell with a sink and stuff.
And it's both the spigots say cold.
Yes, both the spigots say cold.
And when he turns it on, note to sound effects, sound of ice cubes dropping into.
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
I remember a socks were frozen too. Yes. And note to props, socks, socks, socks, socks, socks, socks, socks, dropping into sure, sure, sure. I remember a socks were frozen too.
Yes.
And note to props, not to props,
discussion, yes,
socks need discussion.
It sounds different to me.
Uh, yeah.
It's in the same.
I can imagine that cartoonist guys,
smoking those sigs with their feet up on their desk.
What if I Christ and a fucking ice cube come up?
Okay.
What if he shits any shits ice cubes?
How about this?
Can we, are we allowed to show to ping with shitting in the car?
I don't know if we have a big enough hole. Hi guys, what are you doing?
You say it depends on the size of the hole. I do I think of the hole as big as eyes. It's lunchtime
We're you guys what do you of course we're gonna smoke out to get drunk?
I'm already drunk. What how'd you get out of us? It's not am
I've been up for 10 hours at this point. Are you okay? No. I'm worried about you.
Hi.
cartoons. I mean, this isn't raised by TV, but I'll open it up. What was your favorite?
What? Oh, shit. You know, I'm a huge run-and-stimpy fan.
Really? That's like my cartoon from childhood.
And that was, and we had to have Billy Weston, which was amazing.
Oh, cool.
Which one does he do?
He actually did both at some point, but Stimpy ultimately, I think.
Is that the John, I mean, I know a rest.
He'll never be able to say.
Kazinsky or whatever.
What's your name?
John Krasinski.
John Krasinski.
Yeah.
He created it, right?
Yeah. I don't know.
I like just mighty masks back in the day.
It was a great show.
Really, really funny and really gross.
Right.
And that's how you got your sense of humor.
Yep.
Love it.
What are you guys?
When I was a child, I loved super friends.
That was a big, super friends was essentially the Justice League.
It was a card too. But they were friends. It was to make them a little more like, friends was essentially the Justice League.
There's a card to it.
But they were friends.
It was to make them a little more like,
okay, kids can watch them.
The concept of justice was too big for kids.
They were like, they're super and they're friends.
Yeah.
Justice League, meanwhile,
kids are all reading it in comic books.
No problems with it.
Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman,
Aquaman, and then the Wonder Twins.
The Wonder Twins, we were invented for this cartoon and their
space monkey gleeke.
Yeah.
Zan and Jane are the wonder twins.
Now, now, you heard the phrase wonder twins activate.
Yeah.
Wonder if the power is activate.
Have you ever actually seen that cartoon?
I don't think so.
They were.
One of them could turn into any animal.
Any animal.
The other one could turn to any form of water.
Now, that became then because it's not very cinematic
to turn into water, he would turn into anything
that was ice.
So form of an ice ladder.
A lot of ice.
A lot of ice.
You know, if they ever needed anything to get
form of an ice gun.
But when they would travel, the one would turn into an eagle
and would carry a bucket.
Carry Gleek, the space monkey, who was carrying a bucket
where the other person,
the other one or twin,
had transformed into water.
Whoa, it's true.
Because that was less heavy than a human, I guess.
I mean, a bucket?
Water is very heavy.
Water is very heavy,
but I guess not as hard as a person,
because or heavy as a person.
Water is not as hard as a person.
I've always said that.
I can swim in water,
but I can't swim in a person.
So much of our bodies are made up of water.
So much.
So I mean, a good amount.
Most of it's in your head.
Meaning we're imagining that we're all made up of water.
Yeah, it's not really.
The human body's 2% water.
But we're all just for having.
We've all gone insane.
Yeah.
What was your cartoon of choice?
I you look all of them babe couldn't turn it off. I was a Scooby-Doo guy. Oh sure. Yeah, look at me. I'm a Scooby-Doo guy.
Scooby-Doo is a big deal. When Scooby-Doo started having celebrity that fastening when I was a kid when they would have celebrities
what celebs came on Scooby Doo?
I don't remember.
Globe trotters?
Oh, well, yeah.
They're on.
They're on out of West was on there.
I think Sunny and Cher.
Yeah.
All of it.
I remember how easy it was to be a celebrity back then.
Like if you became a celebrity in the 70s,
you just stayed a celebrity.
Well, there were also people when you would watch
old game shows, there were people who were famous
from being on the stage.
Right. You know what I mean?
Yeah, it was like not a thing today.
Maybe Lin-Manuel Miranda,
but you have to do something else
in order to be famous from the stage.
Oh, yeah, I mean, you can't even get on
like celebrity big brother.
You can't even get on the stage unless you're famous
at this point.
I'm even trying to get on the stage.
You're a celebrity big brother.
Norbert Leo Butts.
Did you ever Lauren, did you ever have to audition for a musical? I did not.
audition for a musical. Did you ever like sing a song or anything from musical? Did you
ever sing a song? Yeah, I had to sing song. I never got into the musicals. I never got into
the musicals. You're so nervous about thinking about singing a song.
You can't even talk for me.
I couldn't get into any of the, I didn't get into any.
I wasn't cast, even as in the chorus, okay?
It was horrible.
What, what, what, which ones were they doing?
Oh God, you know, do I even know at this point?
I don't know.
I honestly can't remember.
You fucking push it out of your mind.
Yeah, I did.
I don't want you.
Why should you wait?
Yeah.
Yeah. But, you know, I, I wouldn't, don't want you. Why should you wait? Yeah. Yeah.
But, you know, I-
But why wouldn't, why didn't you even make it into the course where it could be?
I was probably so nervous.
How did you-
We did an audition in front of everyone else.
Which would make sense because you have to sing in front of-
Play is would be better if no one were there to watch them.
But I mean all the other kids.
True.
It's weird to have like, you're the people that you're auditioning against watching you audition.
That is really weird.
It's not the same as an audience.
It's like, these are my peers.
Anytime you think anyone's judging you,
it makes it 10 times harder.
Yeah, but I was in chorus for a while
and one of the, like it just choir or whatever.
And one of the songs that I had a solo of
in the competition was, I'm a girl.
What is that song? I'm just a girl, can't say no. I kiss a girl. What is that? I'm just a girl again. I know I kiss a girl. I'm I'm not gonna
say I'm just a girl in the world. You're not gonna say no, I'm gonna sing it. Oh, like where I
guess like I'm a girl and that's only great. I enjoy being a girl. Yes. I enjoy being a girl. Yeah.
So you sang that I did in a competition. Yeah. And how to go I placed okay. You sang it. Yeah. So you sang that? I did. In a competition.
Yeah.
And how to go?
I placed, okay.
I think it wasn't embarrassing.
And then I also, my other song that I always had to sing
in a duet in middle school was,
oh God, PA Sue.
What?
PA, is that Latin or is that?
Oh, I guess.
What's PA Sue?
I've never heard this.
Oh my God, Sarah Brightman sings it famous.
Oh yeah.
It's like in Ave Maria type thing.
I think I should play it for you.
Okay.
Is it in Phantom?
No.
I think it's like a, some sort of...
I think it's just some lady singing it.
Some lady.
I wanna hear Brightman or you?
Okay, fine, hold on.
Well, what if the some ladies are a Susan Boyle situation?
Well, that's her.
She never sound good.
And she becomes famous from this show.
That's her past date.
I got it.
Now suddenly we have to hear a pre-roll ad.
What was it?
I'm in a brand new hairdo.
That's for himself.
How weird is that as a child?
It's not so specific.
What is it?
I enjoy being a girl.
Come on, Ryan.
Ryan definitely knows.
Or no.
I'll just play it into the thing.
It's my own take two seconds.
I have to go through the survey.
Oh, man.
Okay, read the survey out loud.
So many.
This is so great. This is ringing back.
Glad to know.
Did you have to do this part?
Yeah, I had to be the...
Flower drum song.
Yeah, it's Flower drums.
This is already too hard.
It's so hard.
He's sound like a beautiful woman.
I can't imagine he sings this.
I was like 13.
No, I can imagine it.
It's a little better.
I'm too weird now.
I'm too weird now.
Can we hear you try to sing this? Like seriously, not immediately. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. enjoy being a girl from? Flower Drum song.
That's from Flower Drum song.
Yeah.
What's P.A. H.U. from?
I don't know.
I think it's a church.
It's like, it's all in...
What is it?
Is it spelled like pie?
Yeah.
It's a from church.
It's pie, Jesus, basically.
So it's like...
Pie, Jesus.
It's like something Jesus.
And then it's like...
Poor Jesus.
It means like...
Poor poor Jesus.
Poor poor Jesus.
Poor poor Jesus.
And I don't know, do you guys ever have a solo?
It's a, it's a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, from the him, uh, D. A. C. Ray.
Yeah. Huh?
Okay.
Well, really good.
Do you remember?
Yeah. Um, I, yeah, I remember those auditions.
I forgot about that aspect of it that you were in front of the other people who
are auditioning.
Mm-hmm.
And it was like you and the piano.
Just you and the piano.
It's so horrible.
Side note, it means merciful Jesus, and then it goes on to say Lamb of God.
Is he really merciful?
Well, you can help.
He is.
He's the most merciful.
Oh, yeah.
God is the one who with a real chip on his shoulder.
Except the one time Jesus got mad at the fig tree and he cursed it
Oh, that poor fig tree is it still around? Oh, no, well it might be like the wandering Jew
It might be still alive, but it bears no figs. I don't even know what you mean
There's a there's a passage in the Bible where Jesus gets mad at a fig. You want to know or not?
I'm awake. I'm trying to give you the good word. Yeah, I'm like, good word on Jesus. Jesus wants some figs, right?
And this fig tree doesn't have any figs.
And he's like, you know what?
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
You're barren forever.
Crazy.
Where's that?
And they wrote about it in a book.
Yeah.
And they felt like we have.
Definitely have to include this part.
Yeah.
I mean, it's crazy.
That is weird.
It's like a man.
It's like a man.
Yeah.
It's amazing in the sense of like,
if you were watching a movie, it would be a cool part of like him, just like Thunderbolts coming out of his hand. It's like a man. It's amazing. It's amazing in the sense of like if you were watching a movie, it would be a cool part
of like him just like thunderbolts coming out of his hand.
It's a very mob boss kind of thing to do like as an example to like, you're not going
to give me fix.
I could do that same thing to you.
But why include it?
Like it just makes him seem like a dick.
I don't know.
It's very petty.
I want to go back to what song you sang if you can remember one from an audition or
something. Well, we would say in high school when I was doing the shows, we would sing the songs from the show. I don't know, it's very petty. I want to go back to what song you sang if you can remember one from an audition or so.
Well, we would say in high school when I was doing the shows, we would sing the songs
from the show.
Although I remember this girl, Rita, who was in my class, I remember her auditioning,
and she sang, you wrote version.
Had a little fun with that.
She did a rainbow connection. You're a version. Had a little fun with that. Yeah, a little fun with that.
A little fun with that.
No, no, no.
She did a rainbow connection.
Oh, and she did a thing.
There's so many.
No, not that one.
Oh, different one.
Yeah.
Same title.
She did this thing where that I see that you said people do where they assume like a singing accent.
Oh, yeah.
Why, ah, that's so many.
Like her vowel choices were different.
She wouldn't like say a hard r, anything.
That's usually because they're impersonating someone else
who's singing it.
Like there was someone who was.
At that time only come with the frog really singing it.
Well, that's true.
I had a friend who would sing and she would do all of her
ours really hard.
And I was like, you don't do this when you speak.
She would always be like, when the world, you know,
I was like, I don't understand.
And then I realized it was because she was
imitating Ella Fitzgerald or something like that, you know?
Sure. Yeah.
Now that there's that style of singing
that I call the baby Cajun, have we talked about this? No, what's that?
You
You hear it?
Google God God
Okay, you just take off your clothes
Okay, let me put them back on why were you wearing that diaper with the gigantic statement waiting for any to all do an impression of that
Who you have a Sasha says 2019.
I have to be new here.
It's where it's, it's, it's, women do this.
Female singers do this.
Where they have, they do,
they do this sort of accent that's only for singing
like they'll say, tone instead of turn queen.
Oh, you're tying around.
Is there a lot of her?
No, she has like real legit.
So Brooklyn, yeah.
Yeah, but you're saying that they don't want to,
they almost like, who does this?
Who, name names?
Who is this?
I don't know anybody, I don't know if anybody famous that does it.
But you'll see, I don't know a lot of,
out of your friends, who does this?
Well, it's also, it's hard to sing the word turn, so.
It's very hard.
So it's easier to sing it at vowel, so it's like,
T-e-e-n.
It's like easy to nudge.
Instead of turn.
Yeah, it's Nadine's member, I love that.
O-ing. It's hard to sing turn. He had to say toin.
To everything.
Toin.
Toin.
Toin.
There's a YouTube video that I love you to of somebody making fun of this. And I think
it's called How to Hip Sing. And this, yes, it's this, I don't remember her name, but it's this young lady who has
these gigantic fake glasses on. She's she's she's you thought I was gonna say earrings.
He has these gigantic. I said gigantic fake earrings. He has these. He has these gigantic big tips. I would love that.
I would love that.
Big fake tips.
What would you love?
Yeah, you would love that.
You would love that.
I would just shake them around.
That's always the weirdest thing people say about that.
Like, I would never stop touching myself.
It's like, what?
I think you would.
Yeah.
I think you'd understand it was your own body.
Well, because you also have a dick and you could touch that whatever you want.
Right.
And you still managed to leave the house. Right. And you still managed to leave the house. Why, if they were your own kids, would you be have a dick and you could touch that whatever you want. Right, and like, you still managed to leave the house.
Why if they were your own kids, would you be like, I'm never really leaving that house?
If your dick was on the small of your back, then you couldn't reach.
Yeah, it was on the big of your back.
The big of your back?
Big of your back.
Just remind me of that mop commercial.
Mop, what mop commercial?
You said it so confidently that took a big sip out of your jacket bottle.
I can only be a big sip of that bottle.
You're gonna be the mop commercial.
That's swiffer commercial.
Which one?
I think they want me to say,
Oh yes, where the mop is.
You do that all on me.
The mop is jealous and sad.
I hate when commercials like that live forever in my brain.
Yeah.
And like they take a song over and I'm like,
that's what that song is.
Like what have you forgotten in your life
that you wish you could remember and say that?
I wish I knew.
I wish I knew.
It's a very challenging question.
It is.
It's a riddle.
What have you forgotten in your life?
I'm sure there's stuff that you're like,
I wish I could remember.
I wish I could remember.
I wish I was like Mary Lou Hennor or whatever.
Wredden.
Yeah, it's not great that I got her name wrong
and she's gonna know everything.
She never forgets.
No, Mary Lou Hennor.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Okay.
I thought it was wrong.
Which one's Mary Lou Hennor?
She's the general wrong.
You're never.
Okay.
No, honey, you're never wrong.
Thank you.
But she remembers everything.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no good girl. No, no, no,
Lauren, you're wrong. Mary Lou Hanner. She remembers everything.
She's totally, yeah, everything.
She's total recall. And I saw it. I mean, while that's probably very
frustrating on some level, I'm sure it's a difficult thing. And also, I think it
makes her OCD or whatever. I was just hearing somebody talk about this. But I
also kind of wish that I had that because it'd be so cool to remember everything.
To bust it out.
Oh yeah.
It'd be like,
because I forget everything.
And I forget like important details of like experiences.
Yeah.
I forget the end of every movie.
I forget like everything.
Let me test you on a movie.
See if you can remember the end.
Okay.
All right.
Citizen Kane. I. All right. Citizen Kane.
I saw one time.
I know.
One time.
I know that the sled is Rosebud.
That's the beginning, baby.
Then I don't remember anything else.
Oh, no, that isn't here.
That's the end.
That was the whole point of the movie.
Yeah.
But I don't, I only just like know that.
You know what I mean?
It's not like I could go. Okay, okay. Raters of the okay, I don't know. I saw that one. I'm not okay. I'm more reason movie six cents
I
Mean okay, that's one we're like I remember how that ends either I know that
It that this I know what the secret is yeah, but do you remember the end? No, I don't do you remember when he puts on his wings
And he goes flying up to heaven What you're the thing a bird man or
Virtua
Michael
Michael he Michael that Michael when he put on the sands. I'm enjoying
Isn't that great that when we die we're gonna go get to hang out with Michael Jackson up in heaven
He's so cool all the celebrity. He's gonna be so fucking cool
It's gonna be so fucking cool. That's what we're so cool.
That's what we're so cool.
Are Kelly, Michael Jackson?
He's not dead.
You will be by the time we are.
How do you know?
I can't tell you now, but watch the news.
Do you think in heaven, everyone exists in all, like all future dead people will be there
and all dead people are there?
So it's like it's not like you're going up to heaven and you're waiting around 20 years for somebody to get there.
It's like anyone who's ever going to be alive
and going to be dead.
No, it's not how it is.
I also don't think there is.
It exists in a different plane of time.
I don't believe in heaven.
What's the point?
All right, John Lennon.
Do you believe in Beatles?
He just imagined it.
He just imagined it.
He did believe.
I was very developed.
I think it's about, I mean, you might have read my interview
what you did because I talked about it.
I did your mouth and off about religion.
They asked me about it.
I didn't know that was going to be the question.
I was happy that there were more interesting questions.
All right, but for those of us who have not,
or for those of people out there who have not read your interview,
what is your position on after death?
I believe that people's and animals souls exist.
Insects?
Sure, but I'm not blind enough.
You're really going through animals with this?
Hey, I'm saying I don't want to interact with them,
so I don't really care.
I'm saying like pets of mine,
like things that have died that I care about.
I care care about. I feel have a soul and exist in a plane that is imperceptible to me, but I don't really
believe that everyone is gathered around.
But sometimes I do picture a heaven like thing and think like, okay, but I also think I
don't really, at the end of the day, I don't really know enough about anything to say that
something is or isn't true.
Do you think it's feelings or do we have cases
in which our souls reside?
Or are we just kind of floating along
and we can't even imagine what it is.
I think that's what it is.
That it's like,
science has not decided.
Science!
Yeah.
In our lab late one night.
What about you guys?
Uh, you'll meet a go.
You'll walk this up.
You're just a man out.
I just mind a bummer.
I don't think there's anything.
Well, I kind of feel that way too.
You have a bit too a little bit, but I don't think that's okay because then you aren't
conscious of that and that's okay.
Yeah.
There's nobody in pain in that scenario. True. I think that I think that there's no then you aren't conscious of that and that's okay. Yeah. There's nobody in pain in that scenario.
True.
I think that this is...
There's no like devil's poke poking people with pitchforks.
I believe only in hell.
That's what they do.
There's no heaven but there is that.
By the way, that's what they do with the pitchforks is they poke people and they pick them
up like when you poke a hot dog and put it on the fire.
When you poke a hot dog and put it on the fire.
You know what I mean?
It sounds yummy.
Yeah. It is a little yummy. But you know what I mean? It sounds yummy. Yeah, it is a little yummy.
But you know what I mean?
That's the worst part of it.
They're not there for hell's delicious.
They're not there for decoration, like a lot of people think.
They're not there for like, hey, I'll stick you with this
if you don't get in that fire.
They're literally scabbing people, no.
Literally.
Let's hear what Paul thinks.
I don't believe in an afterlife.
I think that this is it.
But when you get into energy, you can be neither created nor destroyed.
It's like, well, a life is a lot of energy.
And I don't know what happens there.
But I don't believe in ghosts.
I don't believe in that kind of thing that people are stuck
on some loop or whatever that they have unfinished business or I don't know.
I love other people's ghost stories.
I love ghost stories, but I don't believe any of them.
Even up friends of mine who have like, I experienced this thing, I'm like, I'm sure that you think
you did it. Why, you pat them on that.
Well, I think that, here's, I also, I always come back to,
there is so much about ourselves that we don't know.
There's so much in science that we don't know.
Everything could have a scientific explanation.
And I get into an argument with, my wife and I
will get into this argument frequently,
because she's agnostic.
And I say I'm atheist and atheist.
And she'll say, yeah,
we talk about this every single day.
Right before bed.
Right, right, so is we wake up.
Are you still an agnostic?
I like I say, if someone were to present me with,
I don't think there's a God,
but if someone were to present me with proof of God,
I wouldn't say, well, I don't believe that.
Do you know what I mean?
So she says, that means you're an agnostic,
because you don't know.
And I said, yes, I don't know for sure.
Of course, no one knows for sure,
but I don't think that there is.
I don't believe that there is.
Which is what should tip you into atheism?
That's what tips me.
Right. That's what tips me. Right. That's what tips me.
What if Jesus' pouring isn't current?
What if you saw Jesus walking along
and he curses a fig tree?
Would that be proof?
Yeah. So you're both atheists?
That's what it takes for me.
Yeah. I think so.
All right.
I don't know.
I don't, but I also don't.
But I think it's just a, it's just a,
but I was raised with religion and it's still the way
that I live my life, you know, by those,
by those principles.
And the thing that drives me so crazy is, you know,
false Christians and people who just won't acknowledge
that they are not in line, people who profess to be in line
with the teachings of Christ and are not at all in Christ, profess to be in line with the teachings of Christ
and are not at all in Christ, me insane.
I'm whatever the laws are.
That's what I said.
Right, you're in the seizure, sure.
I wanna say something, I'm thinking about.
Please.
That's how we introduce every idea we wanna have.
I wanna say something, I'm thinking about.
I'm thinking about.
I was thinking, I'm just thinking about friends of mine
who are raised by atheist parents.
And I think that they're fine.
And they have, they, they, from the get go have the belief
that there is nothing.
And I think almost for children, it's nice to believe
that there's something.
It was in like Santa Claus.
I was gonna say like it was very comforting for me.
It's kind of like, it's just kind of good.
Like I didn't go to church, but I thought.
By the time, I believed in God.
You're probably right, but by the time I got to be 12
or whatever, then it became very oppressive to me of like,
oh God, I can't do anything that I think that I want to do
because I'm going to be burning in hell
and it just became a-
I sort of think we're, I'm happy with how it went for me and that like,
I believed that there was God,
but I didn't really know anything about it.
I didn't like go to church or like read the Bible.
So I didn't have the rules against me.
I saw my list.
Did you think of my nightstand for years?
I forget, did your family ostensibly have a religion?
My, my mom is a Greek Orthodox.
My dad went to Catholic school,
growing up on stuff, but like they didn't, I went to church, like to Greek Orthodox. My dad went to Catholic school or I don't know how to pronounce that. But like they didn't,
I went to church, like to Greek Orthodox church,
like for Eastern Christmas.
Until like I know, and then we didn't.
Right.
And like.
Glad they respected you, Sam.
Yeah, I was like, I don't want to add them.
I was like, okay.
But like, and it was pretty much just a like,
cumcing hymns.
Well, it was in a different language,
which I think is part of what was kind of interesting
but it's so boring to a kid listen to something at church in a different language, which I think is part of what was kind of interesting about it's so boring
To a kid listen to something at church in a different language, but it's also cool because I'm I'm not taking any of it in
Yeah, just kind of going like this place is pretty and there's you know, like you're kind of the ceremony
Yeah, look at those hats and there are elements of that that I still think are really cool, but I
Don't the hats of course in the scented balls that they wave around.
I love, I loved to meet that mass when I was a kid.
I loved it.
I love this ceremony of it.
There was that aspect of it, but there was, people were like packed in there.
You knew the next day was Christmas.
It was, it was so like they had the big nativity scene up on the altar.
It was very exciting. It was so much ceremony. Meanwhile, nativity scene up on the altar. It was very exciting.
There was so much ceremony.
Meanwhile, you know, Santa's at your place.
And you know Santa's at your place.
Yeah, Santa's going through my underwear drawer and shit.
He loves that stuff.
What if he's a nasty little man?
He goes to Catholics homes on Christmas Eve.
When he knows their men, I mean,
he just fucking rubs his face in their tenders.
Tossely puts his balls on the butter.
Oh.
With those white pubes.
If I focused, I could throw up at that idea.
Could you?
I want to talk about throwing up.
I'm santa Claus.
I want to talk about throwing up when we come back.
Okay.
All right, we need to take a break, though.
We'll be right back.
That sounds great break though. We'll be right back. That sounds great though. Okay, we're back.
Okay, we're back.
Freedom.
Freedom, Scott, Paul Lauren. Okay, I want to talk about throwing up because I've noticed
something.
Say something that we say when we want to talk about something.
Oh, I want to talk about something
I'm thinking about. Okay, and what is that?
I don't know what you think. Okay, so I have noticed a correlation
between loving something and not throwing up.
Okay, now
when I go we got you knew to earth. So you hate something
and you might throw up. No, no, no, when I'm married, I thought I would just be throwing
up when it came to the kiss the bride part. I was like, you, I didn't know. Okay, so we
have two, we have two dogs and you have to pick up their poop, right? You have to.
You should.
You should.
Okay, but I, as, you know, I live by the laws.
That's right.
So I pick up the poop.
Okay, so I am able to pick up the poop and put it in bags and whatever.
Okay.
Now, the other day I go out onto my lawn and there's this dump there.
And I get in my head that I think a coyote is left it.
Okay, yeah.
And so I'm going to pick it up
and I cannot stop going like,
like,
like, wretching.
Yeah.
Because it's something that I don't love
and it's gross that I'm picking a poop, right?
Yeah. And then later I find out that it was one of my dogs. is it's something that I don't love and it's gross that I'm picking a poop, right?
And then later I find out that it was one of my dogs
and I shouldn't have been wretching,
but there's something about,
and if I'm ever going and I see another dog's poop
or like a homeless guy's poop or something like that,
I just start going,
I can't stand it, but if it's my dog's,
it's like, oh, let's pick up this poop right here.
What is that about?
And then I hear it's like that with babies too? Yeah, like after you know
They're shitting in there whatever the fuck they wear
Duh first type. Oh, yeah, that's what you call them and you're just like you don't mind it cuz it's like I love this baby so much
Yeah, so what do you what do you guys? I mean? I do think there's something biological to that I
Baby sat so many babies and change their diapers
and it did make me want to throw up many times.
Because you didn't love them.
I mean, I love them.
I love them.
I love them.
I mean, yeah, but yeah.
But I mean, no, I love them.
I'm sorry to say.
If someone were to say, here's an extra $20,
I would not be throwing up.
I would not be throwing up.
But like, it would be like,
what if I'm not in the actin' she's this?
I'm not in the actin' she's this.
The, you know, but I think that's probably true with people's own babies to sometimes, but
Actually, I know somebody who can't change their own kid's diaper really don't I'm not gonna is a Madonna?
Yeah, that's okay. Let me think of who you know, but they they feel sick at the idea
Wow, I just
I said no, just in case anyone heard the whisper.
Yeah, I just think there must be some sort of biological thing
to protect children or something. Otherwise,
cavemen would have just let, you know, let them die or whatever.
I think your dogs are children.
I think they are children.
Are they your fur babies?
I think there's something about when it's your dog,
you've had since they're a puppy,
you're probably familiar with the scent of their specific.
Yeah.
But really, that like, then like a dog that you don't know,
I mean, my dog's shit's gone.
But that's what I'm saying is, it was my dog's poop.
So I shoot it in the red.
It was a weird shape and you made up in your head that it wasn't there.
Well, it was shaped like a coyote.
It was because it was the morning.
It was like cookie cutter biscuits of their shit.
What?
That looks like a coyote.
It's like a cookie cutter of a coyote.
What?
Look, okay.
What a coyote shits is in the shape of a coyote.
Yeah.
That would make everything so much easier if whenever any organism shit is in the shape of a coyote. Yeah. That would take everything. It's the hauling car. So much easier if whenever any organism should.
It was in the shape of what it was.
It was, we poops little people shaped poops.
I don't think I would like to.
What if it looked exactly like you?
I love it.
What if your butthole had like a fingerprint?
What if your butthole had a finger?
You're probably dushed from everyone sticking their finger
and could you let me show my-
Shut up. My family had a thing, a discussion one time about,
if you were to take a bite of something
that somebody else bit into, like a piece of toast or something.
I think I tend to not like that.
I tend to not like that, but if it's your,
if it's your, like my siblings, my kids,
were saying they didn't mind it
if it was like their kid.
Right.
Because, and this was the phrase, because they are of me.
Yeah.
Or there's significant other.
Yeah.
Right.
But sibling to sibling?
No.
Well, you have to say,
I used my brother's deodorant and he was like, why don't you just keep that?
And I was like, oh, I didn't know that was.
Well, soap is the other thing you think it like soap in the shower with a roommate.
It's like bizarre.
Right, but soap doesn't get dirty.
But here's the thing, but I didn't.
That's such a weird thing you should say that,
not to interrupt you, but I am.
But just because it's exactly about that,
in seventh grade, I remember in science class,
really wanting to ask my science teacher
about if soap had germs on it.
But I thought it was a dumb question that I never asked.
And I honestly thought about it my whole life.
Well, let's figure it out.
Come on, Ryan.
Sidebar.
One of you.
Sidebar.
When I was in a chemistry class, I was a junior in high school.
It was the only class I ever failed.
I had to go to some school for chemistry.
Well, you didn't know much about chemistry.
That's so much about you.
That's the only, I think that's the only...
Don't know much about science book.
Science book.
Don't know much about science book.
Don't know much about the French ad took.
I had this chemistry teacher and I, he was...
He's fancyed himself a very funny guy and like a cool teacher.
And that sounds rad.
That was my seventh grade times teacher.
He was like, he would say bullshit in front of us
and was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
but he, he, he said, he used to say,
there's no such thing, you can ask me anything,
there's no such thing as a stupid question.
And I remember once asking him because I'd heard this
and of course it doesn't make any sense.
When I was a kid, I'd heard that hot water freezes faster than cold water.
Oh, yeah.
I've heard stupid questions like that.
Well, I didn't think so and I was assured that there was no such thing.
And I asked the guy in front of the class and he ridiculed me.
Oh, that's unfair.
So that's, that's a great one.
One more thing about my seven great science teacher.
He was also really funny and I loved that of course and I was reading. I remember in seventh grade did you have different
teachers for different subjects? Yeah. Oh, okay. I had the same teacher. First through eighth it was
one teacher for every class. That's so much pressure on one person. It's ridiculous. I was reading
the book Sign Language by Jerry Seinfeld and I I thought, and I loved it, that was so funny.
And then I gave, I, I've always thought you had a very
Jerry Seinfeld since a few years.
I was 13.
Yeah.
But I gave it to him.
I had your boyfriend with six.
I lent it to him.
I lent it to my teacher thinking, oh, you'll like this too,
because you're funny.
And then he never gave it back and I was pissed.
What?
I think he thought I gave it to him.
And I was like, I can never ask for a back.
I was overthinking every day.
That's a very specific thing when you loan something
to someone and they, you realize,
oh, they think that was a guess.
I don't know, I didn't make it clear.
Yeah, did you say like, hey, I want,
if you want to read this or like,
I have no idea how I phrased it.
I probably had a crush on him or something.
So you know how back to the sharing food
and all this kind of stuff got to get back to you.
I have always wondered, and this just happened
me two nights ago.
I went out to dinner with friends,
and I've been out to dinner with probably both of you.
You probably seen the play dinner with friends, probably.
You probably think we've been out to dinner
we traveled many times with different continents.
I think I might have been out to dinner with each of you. But it, you know,
with a whole double dipping thing and everyone's like suddenly very aware of getting spit all
of you know, you know, sharing each other's. Yet any fancy restaurant when they bring a dessert,
what do they do? They just give you spoons. spoons. And then you're sharing each other's.
I don't like that because I've had that happen with like people that I don't really know.
And then it's like you're basically all biting until like there's like a chunk in the middle that
has like bites on all the sides. But most people don't even do that. They're just like up.
All bets are off. I'll go everywhere with this. Yeah, it's weird. I don't get it. Like, chop up the dessert into equal...
That would be great.
Pieces.
Why don't they do that?
Why don't they chop up the dessert into equal pieces?
Well, like, say it's a...
Why don't you ask for that?
Say it's a, like, a chocolate moose.
Can you chop the dessert into equal pieces?
Yeah.
We're gonna get a chocolate moose for the table.
And just...
Please chop it into equal pieces.
That pile of slop that fills a little bowl.
Yeah.
Put it into four separate little bowls.
Please, four ramikens.
Why not?
Why can't I do that?
Or bring a serving spoon and separate bowls for it.
Do you love going out to dinner?
Yeah, I do.
Cool.
I wrote.
What you were about to say that you don't.
Is that why you?
I don't know what I think about it.
I think it can be great, but other times I'm like,
meh.
Do you know what dinner I flashed on from the tour?
Was you and me together at the hotel?
Oh, that was not.
I wasn't there.
No, you weren't.
That wasn't really nice dinner.
I did.
Yeah, you might have had it checked.
God damn it.
We did have a great dinner.
And that will lead the water melon skirt.
How many did you have with me?
Do you remember that watermelon skirt?
Yes, I do remember that one.
This woman had a skirt that was.
She was sitting at the bar.
It looked so cool.
It looked like a big watermelon.
And we complimented her.
Yeah.
Or we did a photo of it.
Guys, guys, tell me about the skirt. It was a shape of a watermelon. It was a color of a watermelon. The shape complimented her. Yeah. Or we should photo evident. Guys, guys, tell me about the skirt. It was a shape of a
watermelon or a color of a water. The shape of a skirt. But it
looks like a ice bridge. Yeah. And it was kind of she was sitting
on the stool and it was kind of draped down like perfectly. And
that's just really cool. She was trying to get us to like it.
She was begging us for attention. This dinner sounds so cool.
What was I say there? I think that was the first time that we
had done a one on one.
Yeah.
Meal like that.
Yeah.
And it was so great.
I'm sorry.
And the conversation flowed so much better.
Oh, there was something.
I felt like there was an impediment missing.
Yeah.
And that weird thing you said.
Yeah.
Look, we have to take another break.
It sucks.
We'll be right back. Okay, we're back. I'm sorry. Right when we go back. I know.
I'm sorry. One thing that we should say is that chef Kevin is not with us today. So he's
at town. But we got Zigg over here and And Zig has an answer about whether soap gets dirty.
Zig, hold on a second.
Where is he?
He's, oh no, he's at town.
Is he with those men?
He's with those men.
All right, hashtag those men.
All right, Zig, what do you got?
Does soap get dirty?
All right, so it says,
Does soap get dirty?
It says germs can and most likely do on live on all bars
or soap, but it's very unlikely
that it can make you sick or cause skin infection.
They recommend using liquid soap, not bar soap.
Okay, so if you have a roommate out there and you're sharing the soap, you should use a
washcloth.
And liquid soap.
That's what a washcloth is for.
But I don't, I hate liquid soap. For your body, body wash.
Yeah.
I only ever encountered a hotel's really.
You hate it?
Yeah, I don't like it.
I love body wash.
It feels wasteful to me.
But I use a Lufa.
Oh, Bill Riley.
What?
What was his dough?
That's right.
What did he do?
Bill Riley wanted to.
He said he said falafel instead of luffa.
I forget.
It's, yeah, he wanted to like use a luffa on someone's-
It's a sexual way.
Yeah, I think it was like a mollusk.
He said falafel.
Like, we'll falafel each other up or something like that.
Look at how I love that.
Wait, haven't I told you how I had this,
there was like a year where I kept saying balloon
instead of umbrella.
What?
A year? A year.
Sometimes still happens or I'll fear that I said it.
Like I'll be like, did I just say balloon?
That's very specific. I mean,
I don't have an adult you're saying this happened?
Yeah. On a rainy day like today,
or I called a balloon.
I called it. No, what happened initially was I was
baby seeing this kid and this was when I lived in New York.
And I said, look at that umbrella.
And it was about a balloon.
And I was like, what's it I lived in New York, and I said, look at that umbrella, and it was about a balloon.
And I was like, what did I just say?
And then I have it.
I haven't multiple times.
And like, oh my God.
And then now I still think about both of those words together.
So for either of them, you may say the opposite.
Yeah, I don't know that I've ever called an umbrella a balloon,
but I've worried that I have.
I mean, they're definitely on the same plane as far as
still in the world.
Well, as far as the only words go, they could just as easily
have been each other.
But the idea of they have double L's just like you.
Double L's just like you.
I do love that.
I called you a balloon one time.
Yeah, when I was talking about you.
Well, my body's really skinny and my head's really big.
Well, I used you as an umbrella once. Yeah, that held you by the ankles. Wait, I want to hear about why you don't like a lufa.
No, it's not that I don't like lufa. You don't like lufa. I don't like lufa,
I don't like lufa, because it feels like more work that you have to keep going back to the
surface. And I don't like that it's wasting plastic bottles. Yeah, that too.
But, you know, what am I gonna do?
Not use it?
I mean, look, I'll use it if I have to.
But I travel with my own bar of soap,
in a little soap coffin.
That's so classy.
You do?
Yeah, a soap like it's dead.
Yeah.
I remember, I love this soap.
I was like,
I'm so glad.
I say a silent prayer,
and I'll throw dirt on it.
You strike me as someone who has a place for everything and everything and it's a place.
It's true.
Yeah.
It's true.
I like that.
Yeah.
Ever since I was a kid, I liked-
So if you were to open up your-
Specific compartments and your junk drawer.
Do you have a junk drawer?
Everybody got a junk drawer.
Everybody got a junk drawer.
If you were to open it up, is it just filled with stuff or is everything separate?
It's just filled with stuff.
Okay, so the junk drawer all better off.
We need a divider.
Marie Kondo, save me.
Junk drawers are crazy though.
That's what they're supposed to be.
This is that.
But I mean, one drawer is for the silverware
because there's so much silverware.
One drawer for the silverware.
There's so much silverware.
One drawer is for the junk. so much silverware. So much silverware. So much silverware. So much silverware. So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware.
So much silverware. So much silverware. So much silverware. So much silverware. So much silverware. rubber bands go bad. Like, you know, yeah, after a while, they'll just, just, just, yeah, right, right, right.
One time I caught Ada rubber band when I was little and, um, she was scooting all over
the floor, trying to get it out of her mind and just hanging out there.
It was how, really? And did you like pull it back and then snap it?
Yeah. Torture. No, and then, um, we had to get it removed by the vet, I believe.
Really? And what are the vet, dude? Just pull on it and
with our teeth. Yeah.
All right. It's time for a feature.
Oh, if there's the first time listening to Freedom,
welcome.
In our last welcome, welcome, welcome.
In our last segment, one of us finds a feature.
And Paul has found a feature for us to play.
I found a feature.
I don't remember where this came from,
but it's not, like, I don't have an attribution, so I don't think this was came from, but it's not, like I don't have an attribution,
so I don't think this was a listener one.
Okay.
But it's called no to no.
No to no.
No to no.
Easy rules.
Great.
Just ban everyone from saying yes or no.
Choose one person to start.
He or she has only one minute to answer
as many questions from the group as possible without answering yes or no
If they make it to the end without tripping up they get a point all questions need to be answered any
hesitations, ums or us
Impose a 10-second penalty. Oh come on ums and us player with the most points wins
That's the whole point. Okay, so the points are kept by what, how many questions you answer or if you can do
it, the whole round to get one point.
Yeah.
And if you do a more, you get added 10 seconds that you lose, you lose time.
No, but it would be gaining time because it's losing time would be to your advantage
because then your time would be over quicker.
But then that means there's fewer questions that you get to answer.
So you, you have to, but you don't get points per questions, you get points for getting through the entire period without
fucking out. So if you have more time, you have more time to say, yeah, or no. So if you,
yeah, I think it's, I think it's adding. Yes. Okay. Okay. Let's do it. All right.
Bless your silly ass, Paul. Sorry. I'm under the weather, everybody. That's quite all right.
I appreciate it. And it's a rainy day and Paul's out in the rain.
What is happening here?
Your commitment to this is incredible.
Well, it's like I told you,
when we first started this podcast,
I had the rain nor sleep nor snow, nor the little overnight.
We'll keep me from getting together with you silly asses.
Okay, so we're doing one minute or what, how long is it?
Yeah, one minute and we just ask any questions.
Okay, I think one minute.
One person start, they have one minute to answer
as many questions from the group as possible
without answering yes or no.
Okay, so who's gonna do?
You're gonna answer first.
I'm gonna answer first, okay.
Okay, ready and go.
Are you a man?
I believe I am.
How old?
Mm.
How old are you? How old am I? Do you like your age? I think that my age is
sufficient for the place where my body is at. Is your hair long? My hair tends to be short
then long depending on when I get my hair cut. Do you like shirts? Shirts seem fine to me. Do you live in this building? Of course not.
Are you a white male? Please. Are you seven feet tall? Why would I be seven feet tall?
Are you five feet tall? Somewhere in the middle in between those. Are you an alien?
somewhere in the middle in between those. Are you an alien?
My tie B?
Do you like me?
So hard.
So hard.
So hard.
Tessitation.
10 seconds.
10 seconds.
Of course, I do like you, Paul.
That's it.
Ah, ah!
I have thoughts about that.
Okay.
All right, what are your thoughts?
I almost think that should be a one word answer.
How would that work?
Like you could say, you think like...
Indubitably.
Yeah.
So you're just trying to come up with synonyms for yes or no?
No, I guess I was good.
How did you feel on your end?
I felt it was a little difficult, but I believe I successfully did it.
All right, let's try it the same way.
Okay, let's try.
Okay, do you want to go next?
Yes, I'll go next.
Ready and go.
What color is your brooch?
Well, it's not a yes or no question.
So I'm not, it didn't say ask yes or no questions.
Well, it doesn't begin.
It actually did.
No, it didn't say ask as many questions.
It started.
Does it say yes or no questions?
Here's what I want to tell you.
It's much easier to not say yes or no.
No, it's true.
No, it's true.
I know, but I thought I would throw them off with one
Okay, get him like get him feeling comfortable. I'm the closer. I'm the closer. Don't open, baby
You don't open
Stupid mouth. Oh shit
Ready whoa, I've never seen this version of the clock. Oh shit. I never swiped over. There's a stopwatch
I want to see that now Whoa, I've never seen this version of the clock. Oh shit. What? I never swiped over. There's a stopwatch that says it.
I wanna see that now.
Hold on, we're all checking our phone.
Everyone, we gotta take a break.
Hold on.
For the stopwatch.
What do we do?
Timer?
Yeah, that's fucking great.
That's cool.
It's beautiful.
I don't have it.
Yeah.
Up to your phone.
No.
No, you're not in the right thing.
Go to the stopwatch one.
Stopwatch.
Okay.
Yeah, don't go to your, oh, look at that shit.
Don't go to your 90 alarms. I don't have that.
10 O' what I am.
10 O' 2 PM.
You're the one.
Who are you Ben Schwartz leaving me out about my alarms?
Soble.
All right.
Who are you Ben Schwartz?
Who are you Ben Schwartz?
I don't believe I'm Ben Schwartz.
Are you interested in karate?
I find karate interesting.
Who is your favorite karate
person my favorite karate person mr. Miyagi is here friend I wish are you
believing in God I am not believing in God currently are you wearing a hat I
do wear a hat now. Yes
No, he didn't get through it. He doesn't get a point. Oh shit. Yeah, you didn't get through it Didn't get right didn't umora
Turn ready no
I want to use my stopwatch whatever whatever to you
Whatever you. I'm nervous. Let me reset it. You should. I'm freaking out. Ready? Here we go. Are you wearing a hat? I believe I'm wearing a hat. Why aren't you wearing a hat? Because I am wearing a hat. What color is your hat? Blue? Are you sure about that? I am absolutely sure my hat is blue. Why are you not wearing a blue hat? Because I am actually wearing a blue hat. I don't believe you are. Tell me you aren't.
I am wearing a blue hat. Do you think your grandparents are in heaven? I believe my grandparents souls are around me. Do you think your mom will die? I do not want to think about such a thing.
Have you ever seen a ghost? I have not really seen a ghost. I have believed that I have seen one.
What?
Actually, I believe it was a figment of my imagination.
Why are your eyes not blue?
My eyes are blue, my good man.
You got socks on?
I do have socks on.
Are you wearing underwear?
I want a disgusting question for you to ask me.
It's disgusting.
Are you sorry that you came here today?
Of course, always am.
Did you drive it?
Time.
Did it?
Well, we both get points.
Okay, so two points and one zero for you.
And then what?
And then what?
All right, let's do it again until one of us wins.
And but let's do shorter times and faster questions.
Shorter times faster questions till one of us wins. Shorter times faster questions. This video 30 second round. Okay. Um, faster question. Shorter times faster questions to one of us wins.
Shorter times faster question than the first one.
30 second round.
Okay.
And ready?
Set, go.
Um, do you love your wife?
Of course I do.
Did you murder your wife?
Of course I did.
Um, did you drive in a car today?
I believe so.
Is it raining?
I think it is.
Do you like us?
I don't know. Did you eat y'all lunch?
Do you eat y'all lunch?
Eat y'all lunch?
I believe that I was successful in that endeavor.
Do you like accent?
Do you say yes?
I don't think so.
Do you say no?
I can't remember if I do or don't.
Are you yes or no?
Are you yes or no?
Star Wars is...
God, you do.
That's not a good thing.
Let's star Wars. I was ready to go's not a good game. Let's star Wars.
I was ready to go off on a treatise about what's our already seconds on the clock.
30 seconds on the clock for Paul.
Or wait, oh, no for me.
Oh, for you.
That's right, because Paul's a limited.
He's out.
I'm out.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
Is Paul wearing a hat?
You betcha.
What's Star Wars?
I don't know.
Tell me about Star Wars. I don't know anything about the thing.
You said no technically, but you said KNOW.
That's different.
Why is that the same?
It's not the same.
Do you like your husband?
Yes, of course.
Do you love me?
Oh, I'm the winner!
That's the winner!
That's see, that's how we do.
We badger them with nonsense questions.
That's crazy.
That's how powerful your love is for my at least I said yes.
Yeah.
I believe I can I believe I can fly your canceled.
You can't.
Never.
Shit.
Lauren got married since our last episode.
Is that true?
That's true.
Lauren's married now.
You love it.
You love it. Yeah. You love it. You love it.
Yeah.
You love it.
It's awesome.
Yeah, what's awesome about it?
Um, I just love him a lot.
So you wake up and it gives you a feeling of comfort.
Yeah, so I'm very happy that I'm with him.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Yeah, you feel the same about your wives?
Yes.
Yeah, I feel the same about Paul's wife. That's so fucked up man. You feel the way about your wives? Yes. I feel the same about Paul's wife.
That's so fucked up man.
You feel the way about Kula.
What?
It makes me comforted that you're married.
Yeah.
I like knowing that you're married to both of them.
You know, don't you think sometimes it gives people some cred though, you're like, they
have a great wife that feels good.
I make some people think that they're good
and that they're good.
Well, that's why people would rather murder their wives
than divorce them.
Because they're standing with their friends will go down.
Yeah, which is good.
To kill them.
It's like, it's not about, it's, I don't think it's about money.
Sometimes maybe it is about money.
I think they make a big deal.
Oh my God, I can't get divorced because then suddenly
I'm not gonna have, I'll only have half my money or whatever. Well, you're talking about money. I think they make a difference. Oh my God, I can't get divorced because then suddenly I'm not going to have only I've
half my money or whatever.
Well, you're talking to people who really think they're getting away, but they're going
to get away with it.
They're like, she'll just disappear.
I'll get all the sympathy.
No, I don't think I'm a bad person.
I don't even think it's because they want sympathy.
I think it's because they're like, I can't imagine a world where I have to go to all of
my friends and family and say, remember that wedding that we had?
I think that's a big part of it for a lot of people.
I remember what a friend of mine was getting divorced
after years of marriage and he was,
the way he was framing it was,
I have to face that, I am in a failed marriage.
Right, failed.
And I was like, well,
and he had kids and everything.
Yeah, but it's like, you can't look at it.
Like it's a personal failure.
Like obviously the thing wasn't working.
And it's better for your kids
that you don't stay together for some arbitrarily.
It's like, it's a successful divorce.
It's like if your microwave isn't working,
you don't have to like carry guilt about it.
Like I have to accept that my microwave isn't working.
Yeah, and like things change.
I don't know, I don't know about that. I don't know about it. I have to accept that my microwave isn't working. Yeah, and things change. I don't know. I don't know about that.
I think it's like your perception of your existence changes as you get older and your relationship
dynamic changes. And if you have kids, it's a whole nother thing that changes.
That it's like the idea that you're expected to just do something because you said it one time.
Right. It's actually crazy. Yeah, but I think there are people out there who have like they love their standing in
the community.
I mean, we think about people that were in the church when I was growing up who there
was one.
Oh, that aspect is a whole different.
There was one like, like, there was one Deacon, I remember, who was dating someone my age.
I mean, after she was 18 or whatever, but like a married deacon who was like 15 years younger
or whatever and it all came out,
they'd been having an affair and stuff like that.
And it's just like, some people cannot imagine
a world where you come clean about that kind of thing.
And so they go, well, let's just throw her off a boat.
Yeah.
And do you have this thing?
I, you know, throughout your life,
you know couples that are,
they seem to always be at odds with each other,
but they're still together.
And so you think,
I have friends who are,
hold on, I'm more to say.
My friends who argue about being agnostic and atheist
all the time.
All the time.
The moment I wake up,
before I put on my makeup.
The moment I wake up. But they, on my makeup. The moment I wake up.
But you think to yourself, and maybe this is just me,
this is not my thing.
Rather than thinking, well, they should get divorced,
you think, I think they're making it work.
Yeah, so I'm kind of always assumed that people's
issues are fine.
But then they end up splitting up, and you're like,
oh, yeah, of course.
Yeah.
That couldn't have been fun for that.
Yeah, they should have done this a long time ago.
Yeah. Right. I'm always
happy when they're so I feel so silly when I'm surprised by it. I think I'm
ready the first fight the cool up and I have boom. You've never had a fight.
That's amazing. I want to allow it. Yeah, it's creepy. No, I was gonna say I've
known people where like they seem to hate each other and then they get divorced
I'm like, good. Yeah, I'm losing. For the whole time like they seem to hate each other and then they get divorced and I'm like, good. And I was like, hopefully.
Absolutely.
For the whole time, they're gonna get divorced
and then they do it on like sweet
and then everyone's better and it's happy.
But I never think anyone's gonna get divorced
because when you meet the couple
and you meet them as they are,
which is always bickering or whatever,
anything, I guess that's just their dynamic.
You know what, though, I think,
okay, having been divorced,
I think that I can see it more.
Like, oh, they should get divorced and then they're doing like sweet.
So you have like the dare-devil divorce radar?
Yeah, yeah.
Because you've been in a divorce accident.
But I just think it's like with toxic waste.
The more it is completely blind to death, she cannot speak.
This is all echolocation.
Whatever. You cannot speak. This is all echolocation. What happened? So you think that you're able to see, so do you see it with us? I don't, I don't actually.
Very good.
But I feel like it's, I mean, I don't even want to talk about people because, you know,
I wouldn't want to, I don't hope for people to go through a painful experience.
But I do think that the people I know who have been through a similar thing as me are happier on their side because it was not a good situation to be in.
I think if you can get to 60, I think you're good.
Like 60 years old, it's like if you can get there, do whatever you can to get there.
You know what I mean?
You want to stay with the person until you're 60?
No, no, I'm saying like, do whatever you need to do, get divorced, stay together, whatever.
It's like it's so hard to even just to get to be one.
Oh, you want to just live, yeah.
Just let's just try, just let's all just live,
like, you know what I mean?
Like by the time we're all 60, we all have dimension.
We all have it.
You know what I mean?
It's like, let's all stop.
Let's all stop.
Let's all just stop.
I know, let's stop judging each other
is what I'm trying to say.
And just let people.
Why shouldn't be? You and I should have lived in the family. Look, that's gonna judging each other is what I'm trying to say. People are people. Why shouldn't be?
You and I should have an eye on this.
I'm like, look, that's gonna do it for us.
Am I right?
Yeah, you're right.
Let me apologize to the listener
for any time I have sniffled on Mike.
I apologize, I'm not always conscious of it.
You sound a little like you're in a cave.
I am a little bit in a cave.
I am a little bit in a cave.
And I would like to say you're welcome
to everyone for not eating on Mike.
Yeah, you did not. You've had some, I've actually been looking at your crackers. And I would like to say you're welcome to everyone for not eating on mic. Yeah, you did not, you've had some,
I've actually been looking at your crackers.
And I haven't had any.
You've been looking at your crackers.
I know, I know, I know.
You've been pointing at them at me since this started.
Oh, look at that.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
The barrel of these crackers is right, right.
I have to be honest, I've imagined that that is a cracker gun
that you're pointing at me
and you're gonna shoot a cracker into my mouth
Oh, you just ate on my you accepted someone's thank you by saying you're welcome and then you turned on them
Masterfully played can't believe it master
Meanwhile, I'm not eating nor am I sniffling all right. That's gonna do it for us. I you're in hoeing
This sucks. Why did I agree to do the show again with you guys?
It was a drop. That was a drop by.
It was a drop by.
you