Threedom - You Carled Me Out
Episode Date: May 16, 2024Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss dares, baseball, and The Pepsi Challenge before playing Taboo Word. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us ...a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey everyone, it's David Duchovny.
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We must, we must, we must increase our bust.
La-la-la-la-la.
La-la-la-la-la.
La-la-la-la-la.
And you're gonna go take good care.
You're gonna find a little nice friend out there.
I put that on a mixtape for...
Really?
I did, Wild World.
Yeah.
And there was something wrong with the tape
and it recorded it like once, but also another time,
just slightly off, weirdly enough.
So, and I always, and what do you mean?
And the person was like, this song's weird.
It was like, hope you meet a lot.
You know what I mean?
It was just slightly off for some reason,
whatever the tape recorded it that way.
Slightly off.
Meaning it recorded double time.
Double, but one, it was like a millisecond.
One was not lined up with the other.
A millisecond off.
So you do.
Oh, twice on top of it.
It was layered.
Yeah, so you sing Wild World and I'll do what it is.
Ooh baby, baby, stop that!
Shh!
That's very weird. It was hypnotic. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, Chicken says what? Hi everyone, welcome to 3Dim. This is 201.
Wow.
You missed the 201.
You missed it.
My name is Lauren.
My name is Paul.
My name is Scott.
Why didn't you say it like me?
I wanted you to have your own thing.
I wanted it to be a thing we all did.
Let's start again.
My name is Lauren.
My name is Lauren.
My name is Lauren.
Is that what you wanted?
This is like Scott's mixtape all over again.
Oh.
I don't know.
And what did the person, the person said, this is weird,
and they blamed you.
Yeah.
They were so mad at me.
He probably hates you still.
No.
It's cool out.
No.
Well, in good terms, it with people that I used to see.
Okay, he's got secrets.
I think, for the most part, or maybe not.
He does have secrets.
Why do you have so many secrets?
I can't tell you.
Fuck, another one!
Ironically, it's a secret.
Oh.
All righty then.
Isn't there a lie detector game show?
I hope so.
Um.
Because I wanna play you on it.
It doesn't sound that familiar to't sound everyone play the character of Paula
Wait it doesn't sound that familiar to me. We should do a freedom board game doesn't it seem like it would be an obvious game show
Yeah, I
Mean there have been lie detectors in in shows
I mean, there have been lie detectors in shows.
That's no, there has to be one. I remember lie detector game show.
Familiar to me. Lie detector game show.
The moment of truth.
Hosted by?
Hosted by, of course, what's his name?
Ron DeMorris.
Who's this guy?
This Mark.
DeCarlos?
Marky Mark. What's his name? This guy, oh Mark, Decarlos?
Marky Mark, what's his name?
Mark Wahlberg?
Yeah, Mark Wahlberg.
Not that Mark Wahlberg.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
Antiques Roadshow Mark Wahlberg.
Wasn't this guy the original something something host?
Something something?
Well I almost said bachelor,
but I was like, no I think he just looks like Chris Harrison.
No, he was Antiques Roadshow.
Is that for real?
Yeah, he's probably hosted other stuff.
And he was like, you know what?
I think all these people are lying.
I wanna do my next show.
I wanted to be all about liars.
You know what I hate?
I hate people who lie.
I hate people who lie about how much the objects are worth.
I would expose them to be a fraud.
He was the original Temptation Island guy
and then he came back to it.
Temptation Island.
As a contestant.
Yeah.
No, that's a show where you go with your partner
and see if you wanna fuck somebody else.
Yeah.
And guess what?
If you even go on it, you probably do.
That's disgusting.
Yeah.
Why else would you go on that show?
But all these people go on like,
I'm doing it just to prove that we love each other.
I mean, that's solicitation.
But they don't.
I mean, the women on the show get paid to seduce these people.
Don't they?
Hell, yeah.
And it's always women seducing men.
Is that correct?
No, no, sometimes all the couples.
Yeah.
No, the men, all the couples.
I'm saying there's no, the men try to.
People on the island who are trying to tempt you.
Oh, it's like all these couples go and then they start hooking up with each other.
Yeah, of course.
Well, no, no, no. They know they put hot people on.
They've got like 20, 20 hot men, 20 hot women forgot how it works.
I like my idea better.
I like your idea better.
It's a little nasty because then it's like you have to convince
everybody to go along with it.
Yeah. So that it's mutually assured.
We're not going to put any hot people on this island.
What you see, why do you assume couples aren't hot?
Couples are never couples. Come on
If you're coupled up out there you ugly everyone knows this couples aren't hot I
Guess you're right. Yeah, it's too bad. Really. It's too bad. It's just the way it happens all of us
He had something called called the Mark Wahlberg show
and it lasted two episodes.
That's not long.
Carl. Yeah, I know.
We both let him go.
And because there's also one of those things where I was like,
oh, he said Carl, but it's because the next word he was going to say was Mark.
So I got why he did it.
And the L in Mark L. Wahlberg. But I got why he did it and the L and mark
But I got what he did it. Shush. I just was like Scott Scott shush
Yeah, I get what he was like
It would have been really fun to make fun of it because yeah because it was a funny thing It was like here harold some he car. Oh, yes, like that's not a thing. You can't call something
Yeah, unless you're called tart and he can girl whatever you want I guess you but what happens when he carls something?
Paul. Oh fuck
Turn around on me. Oh, yeah, it's gonna respond to some emails if you guys are
Who you're calling?
Now reality recap, yeah.
I just dipped my toe into the new Love is Blind season, okay?
And I'm not...
Did you eat your tea?
Yeah, and it's not...
It's been over for months.
I was gonna say, it's not new anymore, of course.
First episode, I just wanna talk about the one thing that happened.
Sure.
First episode, this guy has a list of questions and so, you know, they can't see each other
on either side of this partition.
Blind. Love. And he's like I have 15 questions one through 15 name a number
and then I'll read you the question you can answer it and then the girls will I
would honestly pretend I wasn't there. And like seven or whatever then he reads
the question and one girl goes so he's, I don't know the question is like,
what's one thing you wish you did differently in a relationship?
I don't know. And then these are all like conversation starters. Yeah.
It might not even been that. But, and then the girl's like such and such,
what about you? He goes, well, I didn't expect it to get turned around on me.
I'm like, how on earth are you going to write a list of questions and not think
they're going to say, and what about you?
Or even when you're writing the questions, think of your of your own answer prompt you to think of your own life I
know it was so I who who is like I don't know what's socially adept or whatever
yeah but then he hits it off with one girl in the first episode and it seems
like his real personality is underneath there somehow it's more at ease but and
then this other time this girl's just answering a question she goes on and on and he just leaves the room and
she doesn't know because she can't see him he's just like done and he just like
leaves he just leaves that was such a funny power move to me of just like
she's talking and talking he just like gets up but it's not a power do you know
that happened to me IRL really this was many years ago at the Espen Comedy
Festival and I was there doing driven to drink this one-man show that I had Do you know that happened to me? IRL. Really? This was many years ago at the Aspen Comedy Festival
and I was there doing Driven to Drink,
this one man show that I had written around that time.
And in this show, I told this disgusting story
about mopping up a bar table with a rag
and then squeezing the rag into a glass and drinking it.
Cause you were so hungry for alcohol.
The freezing of that really got me.
The freezing event really got me.
It was because somebody had dared one of us to do it
and then once the first person did it, then we all felt like we had to do it.
Well, that's not how that works.
No, it's terrible.
But after the show's like the last night
and I'm at, you know, there's some party,
rap party for the whole festival.
And a guy came up to me and I forget,
he worked for something or other in the business,
some network or something.
And he said, you know, I really liked your story.
I really liked your show and that story was so crazy.
And I was trying to tell this
now very famous person
About it and then that famous person was there and this guy calls him over and says oh you have to hear this story
Oh kind of a full bit and the guy was like really pressuring me.
And so I was like, okay.
So I started to tell the story
and then the soon to be famous guy
just kind of looked away and then walked away.
In the middle of it.
I love this.
Not even in the middle.
Oh really, at the beginning.
He was just like, I'm done.
I don't think I got that far into it.
He's like, I didn't want to hear this.
And to his credit, this guy didn't want to tell it.
So why should I be here?
Wow. Interesting move.
And then I was like, oh, sorry about that.
I gotta hear who both of these people are.
Sorry, he has to go be famous.
They're waiting for him outside.
He had a schedule to keep and it worked
because now he's famous.
Is he someone that I would know?
Yeah. He's very famous.
Have I met him?
Probably.
And I couldn't say for sure, but probably.
I'd love to piece this together
by you telling me when we're not recording.
Exactly.
Perfect.
And I mean, this person was not.
I don't even blame him.
He was not super rude.
I don't blame him at all.
But it was.
I think he did the right thing.
It was humiliating, of course.
No, no, no, it's not cool.
It's not cool to walk away from someone who's talking. Have you he did the right thing. But it was humiliating, of course. No, no, no. It's not cool.
It's not cool to walk away from someone who's talking.
Have you ever gotten the chance to do it to this person?
No.
You should put yourself in a situation where you turn the tables on them.
Fuck.
That would be crazy.
And then just go, remember me from 30 years ago?
Here's what I gotta do.
I gotta track down that same guy and get him to prompt the famous
person to tell the story.
To tell a story. To tell the same story.
You just reminded me.
Exactly. It's gotta be the same story that I told. So they don't really know how it feels.
It just reminded me of this podcast that I was like binging and then completely forgot
about. Heavyweights.
I don't know what that is, dear.
It's where people have like a problem with someone from their past.
And then this guy, the host like goes and like helps the two people reconnect to
like figure it out or something.
Oh my God.
It's his own personal stuff. And some of its other people's.
Jesus.
Would you do that?
It's really interesting. Um,
I don't know that I have like a lingering question about, maybe I do,
but I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I would do do in that context, but it's kind of a safe context. Like there's
there's like a girl who was kicked out of her sorority and she never understood why.
So then this guy kind of like, why was it connects her with all these people?
She's a bitch.
She's a basic bitch.
But I mean, then like another episode, one of the first episodes is like his,
the host, uncle and dad don't speak
and he reconnects them.
Wow.
And then they have like a meeting and it's on the podcast.
And you hear it?
Yeah. And they're all really interesting.
Cause he- Every word?
Every word is interesting.
And there's one that is the host's friend.
This is a really good episode.
He basically like was friends with Moby back in the day
and gave-
Back in what day?
90s.
That one day he was famous.
And gave Moby the CDs that he ended up using
as like the mixes within play.
What a my heart.
Yeah, it was all old slave songs,
which is also really crazy.
Oh my God.
And he, but then Moby never,
never acknowledged that the CDs were lent by that guy.
He just was like, oh, I thought this was a cool music
that I found and I just lent it to him.
Like in the credits would it have been like,
music lent to me by this guy?
Well, like even he just always wanted him to say thank you.
And then he would call him asking for the CDs all the time
and Moby just never would reply because he wanted them back.
He's like, I just want them back at this point.
Cause they're rare?
Cause they're rare.
Right.
And then the host takes that guy to Moby's house.
To Moby's house.
And then they have a conversation
and this whole thing happens.
Oh my God.
It's really interesting.
Jesus.
Did Moby know this was going to happen?
Yes, but he did.
And he knew who was coming over and stuff.
He just maybe didn't know why or maybe he did, but he did, and he knew who was coming over and stuff. He just maybe didn't know why, or maybe he did,
but he allowed it.
And...
I used to see Moby cleaning,
like tending to his deck chairs on his,
in his back deck.
Whoa.
When I would hike sometimes.
You mean when you would hide?
When I would hide on his deck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, but anyway, really interesting stuff.
But I totally forgot, I was like binging it like obsessively and then I completely, I
just really remember.
I gotta listen to this.
So I gotta get back in.
Why was it called Heavyweights?
Heavyweight, like a heavyweight that you're carrying.
Okay, okay, okay.
And yeah, because each person's kind of like, why is this thing like this?
Why does my heart feel so bad?
I loved that album.
Yeah, it's still good.
Yeah.
I don't remember anything of it at all.
Here we are now, going to the West side.
I don't think that was on that one.
And you know what else?
When somebody says Moby, I always think of Fatboy Slim.
Oh yeah, good.
Well, they're kind of one in the same.
I'm gonna brave you like a true... Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da see by the dawn early life.
That's all he sings too.
He only sings the nat- no anthem.
Natal?
I know we've talked about this,
but you guys haven't sung the national anthem
at a baseball game.
No, I have not.
We got it.
Come on, hire the three of us together.
We'll do it as a trio.
I know someone who knows someone in the A's organization.
The Oakland A's?
Oakland A's, the Oakland Athletics.
And he said it would be entirely possible
that I could sing the national anthem at an A's game.
You should.
But you have no connection to the A's, do you?
No.
Who cares?
I've been to Oakland.
Most of the people singing don't have a connection.
I like green and yellow.
I'm saying LA Dodgers, what's going on?
Anytime I go there, some jerk,
just that no one knows.
One time there was this old man and his son,
they were dressed the same.
Sounds good.
No, that was the Oscars with Andrea Bocelli.
Andrea Bocelli?
And son? And co. the Oscars with the tree in the memoriam. Andrea Bocelli? N. Son? N. Co. No, but I mean, look,
no one knows us either, but that's exactly who goes up and sings. So we'll do it as a trio.
We'll trade off lines. We'll do a little rap in the middle. It'll be great. We'll do a Fergie style.
Yeah. Just a little story about the national anthem. That's the rap. Yeah.
Just a little story about the national anthem. That's the rap.
Yeah.
The number one anthem with the national anthem.
Sir Francis Scott Key, he's the guy.
He saw all those bombs going up in the sky.
And it's a weird owl, our national anthem. Doesn't that suck?
It really fucking sucks. It's a song parody.
It's a song parody.
What?
It's the tune is an old drinking song.
Yeah. Are you serious?
Yeah, an English drinking song.
I mean, every time you hear it,
it makes you want to drink, right?
Yeah, it makes me wish I was drunk.
Right.
Cause I'm at a sports game.
Tossin' back peanuts, gettin' all dehydrated.
Yeah.
Why do we have to sing that at the fucking game?
That's the thing, it doesn't belong.
It doesn't belong.
Take it out of that, take it out of football.
There's so much weird, like America rah rah,
patriot bullshit going on, jets flying over.
But here's the thing, if you add it to whatever,
like we should have to sing it before every episode of this,
and then people will be like, this is America's podcast.
You mean on mic, because we do it off mic.
Yeah, well, sure.
I think people think of this as America's podcast.
Yeah.
What else would it be?
What else would be America's podcast if not this?
I really don't know.
I don't think there's anything more patriotic
than what we do.
Loryn, when you're right, you're right.
I mean, that's just facts.
I can't imagine something more patriotic than this.
But yeah, I mean, I don't think they ever used to do NFL games and they wouldn't even air it.
But then suddenly, like they start adding it in this jingoistic sort of like,
yeah, you know, let's make football America's game.
Who cares? Who gives an F? every game, every type of game.
Yeah.
Now the seventh inning stretch, we should do that for all sports.
All sports need you saying, take me out to the ball game.
No matter what the sport is.
Like hockey.
When does baseball start again?
It's probably any minute now.
Spring training is happening right now.
And we do it seven ninths into whatever game has happened.
Yeah.
Seven ninths in.
Football game is happening. Yeah, seven ninths in. Exactly. So a football game is four quarters. We do this in the middle of the fourth.
That's right.
That's right.
Okay.
Okay.
You know, we talked about this, I think,
but the most recent time I went to a Dodgers game,
I was invited to a special box, you know?
Yeah.
And I was like, that's the only way to do this. At some points, I was invited to a special box, you know And I was like that's the only way
Some some at some points I was thinking be cooler to be in the stands actually which I hadn't done in a million years
you know what I only that's only way I've ever done it, but I did that for a
Basketball game I got box. Yeah. Yeah, and it was fun
It's fun because you can like really have a conversation. You can move around, you go to the bathroom,
get some food.
All you can eat.
It's all very easy.
But there is something about the baseball boxes
when I've seen them,
I don't think I've ever been inside one,
but it always seems like with the window and everything
that it just feels weird.
Like a baseball game happens to be going on.
You also have seats outside.
You can't go in.
I know, I know.
Paul, you have seats.
I did one time, I sat like right behind,
or just to the left of home plate,
because a friend had this great hookup with seats.
And Owen Meany hit a ball right into your face, right?
And you died.
Well, I had the net.
No, I wanted to.
It was gonna be Suicide by Baseball.
Right.
But there you had-
What's the name of that thing with Owen Meany?
A prayer for.
A prayer for him.
I don't- I only know that.
Or Simon Birch.
That's right.
Okay.
That's the movie version.
That's right.
Jim Carrey's in Simon Birch.
Jim Carrey's in Simon Birch?
Jim Carrey's in Simon Birch?
Is he him as an adult or something?
He's the adult, uh adult Simon's best friend.
Wow. Weird, huh?
It's funny that they still made that movie where it's like it got so far away
from the source material.
And why not call it Owen Meany?
Just because it got so far away.
I think so. And there's I don't know.
We in for a penny in for a pound, I guess.
We're going to keep doing this movie.
Still have never seen it, although I will say it was released on stereo DTS laser disk format. You should do it on
Scott Hasn't Seen with Paul. With you! No I'm not available. You know I want to do these
with you! I can only do the one that I do. No! We're gonna run out next year! Then I
need you to do every episode. No no no. I'm gonna replace Sean. Yes! No, no, no.
I can't. I hate him!
I can't be Sprague.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, you have to play Sprague.
Sprague.
Okay, guys, we have to take a break.
Okay. Okay.
So, we'll be right back.
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I can't tell if I am like never going to sleep again, or if I'm
gonna fall asleep right now. Because that coffee,
I hope it's never again. If I had to make a choice. It's really fucking up my head man
Just out of a like selfish
On the three-mium you mentioned that you had three cups of coffee today. Yeah, and it's really not good
I shouldn't have done it. I should but I was so sleepy
Yeah, I was so sleepy. I always think coffee seems like a fun idea. It seems like a fun idea at 4pm or something.
You've never had it?
No.
You've never had coffee in your life?
I think I took a sip once 15 years ago.
No mocha, no Java.
I smell it every day.
Do you like the smell of it?
I do like the smell of it.
It's nice, right?
I don't drink caffeine.
And then I think if I did, maybe I'd like it.
Maybe I should do it.
Hmm, interesting theory.
Why not try it on Mike on our next episode.
Oh, no.
You know, our next episode we're taping at 9 a.m.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, I love to drink caffeine in the morning time.
I'm not doing it.
Do it.
What if we did the Pepsi challenge with you? You never had a soda? You've never had a Coke? I've never doing it. In the morning time. I'm not doing it. Do it. What if we did the Pepsi challenge with you?
What's that?
You never had a soda?
You never had a Coke?
I never had a soda.
What?
I used to drink it all the time.
You never had a Coke of cola?
I don't drink caffeine now.
I stopped drinking caffeine when I was 19 actually.
I haven't had caffeine beverage.
The average age of a soldier in Vietnam?
Besides a sip here or there. C-c-c, I've had a sip of Coke, you know,
once every few whatever's,
but it's been about 19 years since I've regularly
drink caffeinated soda.
Dear, let me tell you what the Pepsi challenge was.
Yes, I took it.
Of course, we all did.
Where'd you do it?
At home.
Oh no, no, no, I did the official one.
The official one at the mall or whatever?
Magic Mountain.
The Pepsi challenge was a gauntlet thrown down by Pepsi
and they said, essentially, Coke is not as good as Pepsi.
Well, that's wrong.
Pepsi's better.
Coke is so popular and yeah, Pepsi's popular too,
but everyone says, oh, can I have a Coke?
Can I have a Coke? Can I have a Coke?
Can I have a Coke?
Pepsi tastes better.
And we are talking about your poodle.
Yes, Pepsi.
How do you remember that?
I forgot about that.
It's honestly because I'm listening back
to the episode Saturday.
So they're actually seeping in a little more.
Oh, that's right.
You were listening to all of our episodes yesterday.
It's a French Canadian poodle.
So they would blindfold people.
Yeah. And they would blindfold people.
And they would leave them to a bunker probably 15 miles away.
Yeah, just covered with spiders.
So you wouldn't know where you were.
They would drive around in a circle for a while so you had no sense of direction.
Then they'd spin you around and push you in this bunker.
And then you had to put your hand in some spaghetti.
Yeah, and then someone would crouch behind you, they would push you over.
Yeah.
But is the Pepsi challenge just taste testing?
Oh, Pepsi.
Yes, and then eventually you would blindfold
or you would take sips of Pepsi.
That's not hard at all.
That's the easiest test in the world.
You think they're very similar?
No, you would say what you liked better, dear.
Okay.
Doesn't matter, you would know which one's which.
It's not about...
No, it wouldn't.
God. No, you wouldn't. from the taste. God damn it. You haven't drank it in 19 fucking years. How do you know? What you know tomorrow? Let's do it tomorrow. I will know. All right, you'll know
I've had coke decades. I've sipped coke in recent history, but it's so strong now. Okay, having not drank it for long time
It's very syrup.
Yeah, now legal Coca-Cola?
No, I mean like- In my day?
I like drank it so much growing up that like-
You'll know, you'll just absolutely.
And you've never drank Pepsi?
If you got Pepsi, RC Coke, Diet Coke.
Oh, we gotta do this.
Yeah, let's do it.
You know them all.
I love RC Cola.
Perpetual number three.
Maybe number four.
Do you think you could tell the difference
between Diet Coke and Pepsi?
Between Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi
or Diet Coke and regular Pepsi?
Yeah, cause the latter of course.
Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi.
I could definitely tell it from a ladder.
No, but couldn't you,
you don't think you could tell Coke and Pepsi apart?
Like if I was climbing up a Pepsi.
Lauren, it's not about telling them apart.
It's about which one is better.
But when you're tasting them, you're going,
that one's Coke, that one's Pepsi.
You can still say something like better.
You can, but look, I'm Jim Lauren.
Well, here's what happened.
There's nobody who's a fan of fucking pop.
Can I just tell you my experience?
And I love this, cause I'm gonna get them all wrong.
No, let's hear it.
Can I tell you my experience when I did this at Magic Mouth?
He's a veteran of the Pepsi challenge.
And thank you for your service.
You're welcome.
Now these commercials were-
They should salute people at ball games
that took the Pepsi challenge.
These commercials were all over national television.
Okay, yeah.
I wanted to be on one.
Yeah.
You take the Pepsi challenge
thinking they're probably filming you while you take it. Yes, even though there's no on one. Yeah. You take the Pepsi challenge thinking they're probably filming you while you take it.
Yes, even though there's no cameras around.
Yeah.
Now in hindsight, it was just something that-
They're eating a long lens.
Yeah.
But so I take it going like I got to pick Pepsi in order to-
Because that's how you get in the commercial.
You say, I like this one more.
So I take it.
You can only get in the commercial choosing Cause you say, I like this one more. So I take it. You can only get in the commercial choosing Coke
if you look real dumb.
Yeah.
And then they put like two of the music behind it.
You have like a, one of those like spin wheel hats on
or something. Spin wheel hats.
So I take this and I go, okay.
You curled me up.
I obviously know the difference between Pepsi and Coke.
I'm going to pick the Pepsi so I get on the commercial. I've reached the age of reason. Coke. Yeah, I'm gonna pick the Pepsi so I get on every age of reason
Sure, I'm eight years old
I really would be surprised if we got it wrong. So what do I do? They taste different? I taste them both
I go. Oh, yeah, I obviously know what this is and I pick the Pepsi turns out it was coke
Okay, fuck now. I'm really screwed a child got it wrong
Okay. Now I'm really screwed. A child got it wrong.
Your palate was only catering towards those flavors. I think throwing RC in there really RC is going to throw it off a lot.
RC is really going to throw it off a lot because RC is basically like a more like
a Pepsi. We'll put some A&W root beer in there too. No,
I don't like root beer. It's a palate cleanser. Everyone knows root beer.
Yeah. It tastes like licorice.
Do you know ginger beer? No. Lashings of ginger beer? No.
Should we just do it as a total, total like an M and M's challenge.
Pepsi, Coke, that's it. Just so you can, we can really tell.
Let's see. Cause honestly I haven't had, I haven't had Pepsi in many, many years.
But I do think I'll be able to.
Cause I'm the one who has to buy this.
Get it tonight.
Oh, okay. That's good news.
Go get it.
You thought you were?
I had no idea.
We hadn't discussed it.
I don't have time.
I don't have time either, but.
You're gonna do it.
I'll figure out some way to do this.
Cause I really, and we have to blindfold you.
I tell you what, why don't.
But we all have to do it.
I'll buy the soda.
You'll buy the soda?
Yes, I'll buy it on the way home.
Okay, that's good.
Whoa.
Are you going to go to the foster,
or what was it, foster, on the way home too?
I need lunch.
Okay.
That sucks, but tomorrow's the perfect time to do it.
Tomorrow's the perfect time to do it.
Perfect time to do it.
So you'll buy the, so you're going to buy Pepsi.
You're going to buy Coke. Are you going to do,
I'm going to try to find RC Cola or another, another Cola.
Yeah.
And then we'll blindfold each other simultaneously and try to figure out where
all these glasses are.
So our mouths to each other's buttholes.
It's really about it. Can the third person tell?
Can you tell from the shit which one's which?
Yeah. Thanks for spelling it out.
OK, so that's going to be episode two hundred and two, the palindromic two oh two.
Can we make it two or three?
So it's not quite so early.
Really? We are recording at nine tomorrow.
I think we should do that a little bit later. Okay. I'll allow it. Okay.
So we'll all get tummy ache. 203. I don't want to get a tummy ache.
I just don't want to have it too late because I don't want to be up all night.
We're not drinking so much. We're gonna have a sip.
No, I'm, you're going to chug. Big gulps. Big gulps.
I'm going to take a big gulps. Big gulps. I'm going to take a big gulps.
You know that the big gulp, the 7-Eleven big gulps is named after the like rather
large gulps that you would take when you would drink a very large soda.
No, no.
I'm pretty excited about this.
You should be. And I'm not even going to practice.
Oh, if you practice all night, that would be so sly.
I should have not said anything.
I gotta agree.
It would be so sly.
It would have been sly and really cool of me.
What other animals are sly besides foxes, any?
I know, because why do they have that rep?
I'm always wondering.
They have that rep because of what?
They sit around killing things?
They sit around killing things. They sneak around killing things.
You feel like snakes are kind of sly.
Yeah, they're always in these holes in there, but they have slither.
So that's the SL for them.
They only get one SL. Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Bears get sleepy.
Lions get slutty.
Frogs are slippery. Seals are slutty. That's right. Lionesses. Frogs are slippery. Seals are slutty. That's not
those lions. Oh, okay. You just have slutty on the brain. Which animals are the sluttiest
animals? Well... I know everyone's got their theories. Like which ones sleep around a lot?
Yeah.
They don't have the same partner.
I always feel bad for animals when you read these stories about like how spiders made
or whatever.
It's like, oh, so then, you know, the spider puts out a huge pheromone and then goes and
has its way with the female spider and then it lays a million eggs.
But then the spider eats it or something.
I guess, but it's just, it sounds so bad
for the female spider.
It does, it actually seems a way for all female animals.
You guys are so compassionate and you're such
I know, we're allies, we're allies.
Cats, female cats are like,
rawr, give it to me. Stop it.
And then it's happening, it's like, this sucks.
Stop doing the thing that I asked you to do.
Well, we've already talked about animal penises, but cats have barbed ones, don't they?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yikes! Snikes!
Why do they?
Why do they do it?
And yet, you would think there would be no more cats.
Why would the cats evolve to the point where the female goes crazy, like,
hey, everybody, come and give me sex.
And then the male cat has the barbed penis so that she can't run away. crazy like, hey, everybody come and give me sex. Yeah.
And then the male cat has the bar penis so that she can't run away.
It's like, she's, she's there.
She should at least be able to, you don't need the barbs, dude.
Yeah.
Like, like trim the barbs.
Trim the barbs.
I just don't feel like you can actually speak to what the female cat is feeling.
Yeah, we don't know.
That's the thing. We've never been able to interview a cat. That's fair.
So like you say, Oh, she's there. Okay. She's no, she's, I mean,
she's there for it.
Said something that you thought it sounded like.
The noise she made sounded like the noise my mommy used to make.
When my daddy and her would have alone time and I know she wasn't enjoying that.
My mom would call my dad at work and just go,
And I know she wasn't enjoying that. Yikes.
My mom would call my dad at work and just go,
Mwaaahhh!
Into the phone.
And then you'd go rushing home.
Beep beep!
Mwaaahhh!
Nasty.
Nasty.
They were nasty.
Nasty.
Oh, they were nasty.
Six kids!
Nasty.
That's a lot.
That's too many.
You're telling me.
Your mom was pregnant for like her whole adult life.
Me?
Your mom.
Yeah.
And you, you were pregnant your entire adult life.
Feels that way sometimes. I gave birth to show business. Goodbye.
Ow! Ow! Oh no, Paul! He's doing his mating call! Oh, I hit myself in the tooth. Oh no!
All these cats have arrived at the door.
That means he wants it.
Hahaha!
What do you, how do you interpret the cat's yowling?
No, it's horny.
It's a desperate call.
It's a, it's all...
You don't think it's confident?
Confident?
Yeah.
Like... In a...
...kind of way?
No, I feel that it's...
Well, it's powerful.
Long hair, do what I dare! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, bum, ba, da, da, bum, bum.
That's the thing, when you're watching a nature documentary,
they always say like, the male wants to do this
and they don't know, we've never been able to talk to him.
You know, there's this nature documentary,
docu-series that Holly always wants to watch
because it's at the top of Disney Plus.
And I put it on a few times because it's like,
I think it might be a little cute.
Some of the warnings at the top, you know where it says like, this is it might be a little cute. Some of the warnings at the top,
you know what the word says like,
this is rated such and such for whatever.
It's like violence and acts of a sexual nature.
I'm like, this is so aggressive.
And then the episodes are like,
always some animal being stalked and preyed upon.
It's violent.
And I just don't want, I don't want her,
she doesn't need to see it.
She just wants to see cute animals rolling around.
Like she wants to see the fucking puppy bowl.
Yeah. There's there's this book called Hug.
Hug, hug, which is which is a it's all about a monkey who.
Oh, I have that. I have that. Yeah.
Yeah. Like sees animals hugging like two elephants hugging.
It's like, oh, hug. I just acquired that.
And he rips a woman's face off.
Well, that's the thing. I'm hugging you. So like so he goes around the animal kingdom is like, oh, hug. I just acquired that. And he rips a woman's face off. Well, that's the thing.
I'm hugging you.
So like, so like he goes around the animal kingdom
is like, oh, hug.
But but he wants a hug and doesn't have one.
And so this elephant takes him around to look for where he's
going to get a hug.
And then finally his mom finds him is like, bobo.
And he's like, mama.
And he finally gets a hug.
And then he hugs the elephant says, hug. And then the entire animal kingdom is there, bobo. And he's like, mama. And he finally gets a hug. And then he hugs the elephant and says, hug.
And then the entire animal kingdom is there going hug.
And I'm thinking they're all just going to murder each other.
If this were real life, because they're all in the same place.
Yeah, they're all in the same place. And they're all going like, huh.
But let me tell you something. Yeah.
The watering hole, the water,
a place where all the animals come and they sort come and there's sort of a truce.
Yes.
Much like our watering holes in life in the human kingdom.
What?
They go like, hey, you can just have a drink here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not going to kill you.
We all agree.
We all agree.
I'm just going to come here for drinks.
There's nowhere else to drink, so we all have to do it.
Yes.
So, you know.
That's pretty nice.
It is nice.
But it's sort of like, but if I see you here by yourself, it's on.
Oh, it's on, bitch.
Yeah. If I'm a line and you're a gazelle.
Yeah.
And you're by yourself, no other gazelles.
Yeah.
I'm going to get you.
Yeah. Hundo.
We should have watering hole rules with other countries and there would be no more war.
Oh my God. Wow. What a beautiful image.
Yeah. It does seem like we should just be doing war AI now, right?
Yeah, really. We're going to do it.
Let's do it in a video game. It should be big video games. Yeah.
And the heads of countries should have to play the game. And that's how you decide.
This is somebody else's bit, I think. You have to elect a person who's good at playing. They
have to show that they're good at playing video games.
You got to do stand up with this tonight.
I miss being in New York. He go up five, 10, 15, 20 times a night.
You ever seen one of those, those a world war two, like, like,
I know they've done this in Dr.
Huard and stuff where it's like on Christmas day,
everyone stops fighting and they all sing like,
like both sides.
It was a famous Christmas artist.
Right.
During World War I.
It just doesn't make sense to me.
Why don't the other people go like.
Pfft, pfft.
Why don't we just not do it at all?
That'd be really cool.
Right.
Right.
Why do we have war?
Honestly though.
War, war is stupid. And people people are stupid and love means nothing.
And some strange orders.
What's that? That's a culture club song that ended their career.
Really? I think that's like their last song that got on the radio.
Yeah. Why?
I don't know. It wasn't a good song. It's so annoying.
Anytime I hear it, it sounds like you guys are making it up. Karma chameleon.
Do you really want to hurt me? Yes. You have mistake number three. I don't know that one.
It's mistake number three.
Oh, sure.
three. Do they have a pact not to make three mistakes?
And that's mistake number three.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, what are the lyrics? Now you're done.
You are mistake number three. Goodbye. You've reached your mistake quota.
And now Boy George is doing all the theater stuff.
Oh really? Yeah. You're doing all the the theater stuff. Yeah
That's fun, here's the lyrics to mistake number three, and we'll see if we can parse this yeah, it's parse
da da da da da da
The car commercial da da da do do
You can't stand you you can't bystand all the people, stand them on their own.
So true.
They will fall to pieces.
So we watch them grow?
What are you talking about?
Is this mistake number three?
Yeah, into strange and pretty faces, I don't know,
clutching to my lipstick traces, watch them go.
Okay, I have no idea what this is about.
This is bullshit.
This sucks.
Well, that wasn't the one that I did.
These guys deserve to not be on the radio anymore. Yeah.
She's overcome with emotion. I just, I feel really bad that they didn't get to keep like doing that
because like they were really good and I just feel like they didn't even really get to do like,
Oh really? I never heard you say shit about Rankin' Roger.
Who?
From English Beat?
Yeah.
I care so much about Culture Club.
What about Rankin' Roger?
Yeah.
Although I had that one English Beat song
that I got into this last year and I really liked.
Which one?
Mirror in the Bathroom?
Save it for later.
Do do do do do do do do.
Save it for later.
Yeah.
It just came up on my Spotify and I was like, this is for me.
So it came up and you were like, yes, ma'am.
I was like, you got me figured out.
I'll go. I got to listen to this enough to get it all wrapped.
That whole album. Great.
Really? Special beat service.
I've honestly never even ventured past the song because I just like it.
I confess. Oh, yeah, I confess.
It's a good one. I confess. I confess.
All right. Yeah. I'm going to have to check that out later.
Mirror in the bathroom is also one of those earworms for me. Yeah.
With the same amount of syllables. Yeah.
Yeah. You have that. Yeah. I amount of syllables. Yeah. Duh duh duh duh duh duh. Duh duh duh duh duh duh. Yeah, you have that.
Yeah, I don't even.
Yeah.
I don't hear that the same way.
You're lucky.
Because it's a curse.
So if I were to say, like here's an example.
Lauren in the bathroom.
Well, now I know.
I would probably hear it as Lauren in the bathroom.
Oh, I thought you'd hear Lauren in the bathroom.
Oh, you know what? Lauren in the bathroom. Oh, I think you hear Lauren in the bathroom. Wait. Oh, you know what?
Same.
Lauren in the bathroom.
What if I were to say mirror in the bedroom?
Mirror in the bedroom, I know, I know.
Yeah, I did not put it together.
They're the same thing.
The syllables, but it does,
it matters how it comes out.
Like the staccato of the, of the syllables.
Exactly.
Determines whether or not I'll go to mirror
in the bathroom or a girlfriend in a coma.
I'm an interesting person.
So if I were to say mirror in a coma,
you're in a quandary.
It does not compute.
What is the meaning of love?
Marks.
Do you have things with Janie where like,
one of you will start to get really annoyed
by something like that?
Like if you're like, I can't stop singing a song.
Oh yeah.
And then like, stop.
Pretty early on.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Pretty early on in our relationship,
we would watch like Thursday night TV at my house
and cool up along with Neil Mahoney.
Are you ready for some sick hoes?
But it would be like, no, it would be CSI and ER
and stuff like that.
And so any theme song that didn't have lyrics,
I would add lyrics to.
Of course you must.
So when we would watch ER, it would be like,
it's ER, it's ER.
And at a certain point she was like, shut the fuck up.
I don't know how the ER theme song went.
All I remember is Eric LaSalle doing the yes, the big yes. Oh yeah. I love that. It's so moving.
Let's hear a little bit. I would cry every time. First up we have a Hertz Tom Brady. I always like how you can just blast the ads. Tom Brady, a Hertz ad first.
This is not skippable.
Don't you feel like you should have
the ad free YouTube at this point?
This is the only situation.
Never get it.
Never get it.
Here we go.
He makes me laugh every time.
This rocks.
Ah!
Ah!
They're throwing their hands up like it's a rave. This is like the worst massage music.
It feels like you're going to have two dancers come down from the ropes and they're going
to walk on your back.
We have to take a break.
We'll take you out with ER by the ER gang.
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I'm Rachel Martin.
After hosting Morning Edition for years, I know that the news can wear you down.
So we made a new podcast called Wild Card, where a special deck of cards and a
whole bunch of fascinating guests help us sort out what makes life meaningful. It's part game show,
part existential deep dive, and it is seriously fun. Join me on Wild Card wherever you get your
podcasts, only from NPR. And we're back and it's Three-Ture time.
That's right Scott.
It is.
We do Three-Tures on this show and you can't say that we don't.
Three-Ture is a game that we play and maybe you would like to send us one to play a parlor
game, a car game if you will.
Not a card game.
Not a card game.
That would be so boring.
Cards are sinful.
Yes.
And there's way the wages of sin is death. So we play the game. So what you
do is you send it to us at 3dumusa.gmail.com. That's email.
It's so easy to just email someone these days. It used to be, remember the process of how
you used to have to email people.
Beep beep beep beep.
You had to get it approved.
You had to send it up to corporate.
Are you doing a dial-up?
Yeah. That's good send it up to corporate.
Are you doing a dial up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's good.
Or have you become a computer?
Okay computer.
I'm gonna start saying that like okay boomer.
Or like radiohead.
To my own computer.
Who's that?
This one, this feature, this particular feature
was submitted by Josh.
Thank you, Josh.
Thanks, Josh.
And it's called Taboo Word.
Okay.
They're not gonna get us.
They're not gonna get us.
So Taboo, remember?
Remember they were supposedly lesbians
who dated each other.
Ooh la la.
And turned out they were just-
You mean tattoo?
Oh yes, tattoo.
Wait, I immediately accepted when you said taboo.
Well, but you started singing it because...
I'll just sing it, I'll just sing it, I think she said, running through my head, running
through my head, running through my head.
Why did you start singing it?
I think because I said taboo words.
Because I conflated taboo with tattoo.
Yeah.
So don't pin this on me.
I'm just glad I was here to clear it up.
Thank God.
I have two.
I have two.
Because honestly, you guys talked in circles.
Because 0.001% of our listeners would be like, it's tattoo.
I think there's gonna be a lot more. Do you think tattoo listens to the show? I hope they do.
All the things you said, all the things you said, running through my head, running through my head,
running through my head. Do you think Icona Pop listens to the show? I think so. I don't care.
I love it. I think they do I don't care. I love it.
I think they do though.
This is Taboo Word.
This is submitted by Josh.
Two players secretly decide on a taboo word
by texting each other.
Then all three players began a scene
prompted by the suggestion of a common household item.
What?
That part of it.
Pan.
Broom. That's an optional part. You That part of it. Pan. We. Broom.
Exactly.
That's an optional part.
You're in the spirit.
Okay.
But the two players that know the taboo word
have to organically try to get the third player to say it.
We're not allowed to say it ourselves.
The third player has to try to avoid saying it.
And if they say it, the game is over.
And we're gonna put a clock on this, Lauren.
Okay. We're going to put a clock of how long should we do it? Should we do it five minutes?
Five minutes. Okay. We're going to do a clock of five minutes. Don't hit lap.
Don't hit lap. Oh, you think a guy like me would hit lap? Uh, uh, uh, uh, not gonna do it.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, not gonna do it.
Hey, what, what, what's shiplap?
Shiplap is like little pieces of wood.
Putting wood on your, on your wall, uh, instead of, uh, in a certain pattern, instead of wallpaper.
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah.
Shiplap is.
And there's just off the top of your head.
Yeah. Just like, I'm just pushing this into my phone.
It's like, if you want to do a wall, like a beach house. Yeah.
Yeah, I knew it had something to do with something nautical.
We have it in that room over there.
What room?
I know you can't see it.
It's just like a Goodfellas where you get me
to go down there and-
Yep, and I murder you.
What a weird way to murder someone.
That is one of the scariest scenes.
He's like, yeah, go, go, go, no, down a little further down there.
Yeah, go ahead.
Just keep going.
Yeah, just keep going.
OK, so who wants to be the two and who wants to be the one?
I'll be the guinea pig.
OK.
OK, and so Lauren and I.
So we text each other.
Well, you can text me or I can text you.
I text you a taboo word.
Yeah. Just a word that, that we're trying to get him to say.
Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. But we can't say it ourselves.
Okay. Yeah. This is going to be great. All right.
And I'm going to start the clock now.
Paul. Paul.
Yeah, do you need a common household item?
Yeah, do you have one?
Yeah.
What do you have?
Dust pan.
You have a dust pan?
Yeah.
Well, actually, look, it's kind of cool
we're in the break room of the hardware store right now.
I never really got seen back here.
Yeah, it's cool.
Yeah, because you normally you're a customer.
Normally I'm just a customer.
But we recruited you today.
Yeah, I just usually come in and buy stuff.
But today I kind of was like,
hey, I come in here a lot.
We needed help.
Thank you for joining us.
Do you need any snacks or anything like that?
What do you guys have?
Oh, that's kind of-
Ruffles.
That'd be- Mark Ruffalo's.
It's a little early for chips.
Shaped ruffles.
I mean, 28, 30. I don't know if I really want to eat ruffles.
We have coffee. We have whatever you need.
I'm hungry though.
Okay. How about some food?
What do you have?
I'm telling you it's early. For chips. It's a little early for chips. I'm more of a breakfast. Okay, how about some food? What do you have? Ruffles.
I'm telling you it's early.
For chips?
It's a little early for chips.
I'm more of a breakfast.
How about a Danish?
It's a little...
It's too fancy.
Yeah.
Got anything else?
I mean, we're not a supermarket.
It's a hardware store.
What do you have in the box?
We have nails?
What's in the box with the danishes?
Do you want to eat 100 nails?
What's in the box with the danishes?
What are you, Brad Pitt?
What's in the box?
There's also some bear claws.
What's in the box with the danishes? What are you Brad Pitt? What's in the box?
There's also some bear claws. Yeah, honey. Why don't you bring
something the next time you work here? Sweetheart, forget it.
I'm sorry. What's your name?
Bunny.
Bunny, what's your favorite food? Yeah, buddy. What do you like? Croissants. In the morning? Yeah. Bunny, what's your favorite food? Yeah, buddy.
What do you like?
Croissants.
In the morning?
Yeah.
What about hot butter toast?
Sure.
Do you want some, how about some fried chicken?
I want something that I can stick my finger through.
How about my ass?
Oh, wait.
Did you guys call me back here?
I want you to eat his ass. Was it doughnut? Yes. How about my ass? Oh, wait. Did you guys call me back here?
I watched you eat his ass.
Was it donut?
Yes.
All right, let's do it again.
Okay, so now you guys just text each other.
You're the going to pick.
Okay, Paul, you can pick.
I pick the word?
Yeah, you can pick the word and send it to Lauren.
All the things she said, all the things she said,
running through my head, running through my head,
running through my head.
Oh, that was two minutes, I think.
You fucking.
Okay, two was enough.
Well, I knew what it was, I was not gonna say.
It doesn't need to be five.
Let's do three.
Hey, thank you for loving it.
Oh, great. Oh great.
Oh, you press a little hard on it.
That's fun.
Okay.
Appreciate that.
You didn't have to do that.
Not only did I see it, I received it.
And I loved it.
As a household item, let's say scissors.
Great.
I don't get what that is.
I neither do I.
It's just a thing.
I guess it's so you're not in danger
of overlapping with the word.
If you know that's what you're starting with
as a household item.
Oh, it's the suggestion.
Suggestion to start the scene.
Yeah, I see.
All right, here we go.
Okay, and once you're done sewing those up.
Then I start on the next human centipede?
That would be ideal.
Can you cut me out of this one, please?
Do you have any scissors? Oh, what's the matter?
I'm just not enjoying it anymore.
We allowed you to be able to talk.
That's gotta be a plus.
I know, I know, it's just to my ass.
I'm on the good end, but I...
We sewed that guy's soles of his feet to your hands.
Yeah, that's, honestly, I am enjoying that.
If you can keep that, that's fine.
That's actually confusing.
Yeah. Why is it confusing? Just the position? He's been in yeah
Seems like it would hurt because he's standing and the guy in the front is like a wheelbarrowing
Yeah, anyway could you or no or could you or not?
Could you would you with a spoon? Could you would you with a with a?
Okay, you're not helping trying to do a green eggs and ham. Oh yeah.
What are you some sort of Dr. Seuss or something? Is that your occupation?
People do kind of think that I'm like the next Dr. Seuss. Really?
Yeah. No, I'm just a really good rhymer. Like what?
I couldn't even think of one right then, but you know, like what,
what if you were to say radio? What rhymes with radio?
Play-Doh.
Okay.
Look, we...
I'll be honest with you.
Yeah, what's up?
Oh no, when he gets honest, it's not good.
Well, I just, I'm a straight shooter.
We're not gonna cut you loose from the human centipede,
but I understand it's your birthday.
Ooh.
We got you a cake.
We will be celebrating your birthday today
with all of the centipedes.
Here comes a little monkey.
Here comes a little monkey carrying.
What does he have?
Oh my gosh, he has cupcakes too.
That's right.
Cake and cupcakes.
A candle in every single cupcake.
Wow.
And then one candle in the cake.
Yep.
And I really, for my birthday, the cake's great, but I really, I wish you'd gotten me
like some sort of ride that would take me up into the sky, like a blimp or something
like that.
An airplane?
Yeah, an airplane.
Could you get me an airplane right now?
What do you think about the decorations?
You don't even like the decorations?
They're fine.
Streamers are fine.
The whole, you know, happy birthdays thing.
What else?
What else do you love, sweetie?
The wrapping paper.
You wrap the cake, which is like overkill.
Unconventional, but fun.
Come on, big guy.
What else do you like?
Come on, big guy, tough guy.
I like how you turned the house upside down.
Come on, sport. And what else? What else how you turned the house upside down. Come on, sport.
And what else?
What else, doodlicious?
Who else is it?
What is our relationship, by the way?
Because you wiped my memory.
Oh, we're mad scientists.
And you're our human centipede.
Oh, this is a poor thing.
We just like watching you poop in the...
Meets human centipede kind of thing.
I don't even think it's that.
Do you think the scientist and human centipede
was a normal person?
I don't think it's that high brow. I think it's so. You don't think it's that. Do you think the scientist that she was going to be was a normal person? I don't think it's that high brow.
I think it's.
I think it's highbrow.
It was balloon.
Yeah, it was balloon.
Okay, my turn.
One more time.
No, I text to you.
No, I haven't gotten to guess yet.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, sorry.
I text to Paul.
That's right.
Going clockwise.
Sorry, sorry.
Okay, so I text to Paul. Sorry. That's right. Going sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
OK, so I text to Paul the taboo word.
And I receive it.
OK. And what's
the household item, Lauren? It is a pair of tongs.
A pair of tongs?
Everyone has tongs these days.
Alright, I'm pressing start.
Well now, look at you.
Wearing nothing but a pair of tongs.
Yeah, I have a pair on.
I have two thongs.
It's disgusting.
It's better than one.
It covers more.
Ah, you're right.
Hi, mom.
Well, now look who it is.
Who is it, mom?
Tears herself.
It's Bonnie.
Yeah, I'm here.
Hi, Bonnie.
Hi, guys.
Bonnie.
What?
It's so good to see you.
Where have you been?
I've just been trying to get out of this complete hole. Hi, Bonnie. Hi guys, Bonnie. What it's so good to see where have you been?
I've just been trying to get out of this
Come complete hole. I'm in like I've just been what like emotional or my neck in like problems
Oh, no, what tell us?
Just everything is going crazy like give us an example. I lost all my papers
What kind of papers? Everything.
Good, bad, important, useless.
Money?
Like receipts and stuff?
Money, receipts, anything paper is gone.
School papers?
Lost them.
Like to-do lists?
I bought four phones instead of one and now they all won't stop ringing.
Oh no.
It's a nightmare.
You accidentally bought four phones?
Yes, and I set them all up.
Do they all have the same number?
Yeah, and they're all ringing off the hook
because I signed myself up for all these calling lists.
Where'd you buy them?
I bought them from this kiosk at the mall.
What were you doing at the mall?
I was shopping.
For what?
New tongs.
New tongs?
New tongs.
New tongs?
You can buy those anywhere.
You don't have to go to the mall.
You do have to go to the mall.
No, you don't.
You don't know.
They sell them anywhere.
Is that all you bought?
Did you buy any food?
Did I buy any food?
Yeah, I bought a steak.
Where'd you get that?
At the butcher.
At the where?
The butcher.
The butcher?
Sorry, it's like I've lived here like just long enough that your accents are starting
to get to me. But like, no, yeah, The butcher. The butcher? Sorry, it's like I've lived here like just long enough that your accents are starting to get to me.
But like, no, yeah, the butcher.
Yeah.
You went to too many places.
Okay.
You can go to one place.
You can go to one place.
What, like, like, supermarket?
Yes!
All right, we gotcha.
We fucking got you. You know what, I got you,
because I was willing to say it.
I suspected as much.
Damn it!
Gotcha.
And that's how you play Taboo.
And that's how you play.
They're not gonna get us,
they're not gonna get us.
All the things she said,
all the things she said.
Thank you, too.
Don't say the taboo word.
Don't say the taboo word.
Don't say the taboo word.
Don't say the taboo word.
Thank you to Josh. Thank you to. Don't say the taboo word.
Thank you to Josh. Thank you to Josh. Yeah. Yes. That's a classic. And if you would like to send us a
feature, write to us at freedomusa at gmail.com. And if you'd like to leave us a voicemail, call us at,
well, don't call us, but you go to the website, hagclaims8.com and there you'll be able to leave
us a voice message.
I can't believe this is, we're living in a world where this is possible.
It's really cool how the website works.
You go to a website and you talk to it and then record your words and then we hear it?
Exactly.
It's nuts.
And guess what?
If you want to hear ad free versions of this podcast and also hear our bonus episodelets
called Thremiums, then you go to to CBB world.com and you sign up
for the Maximus tier.
The three memes are also available on some sort of Apple
subscription or something.
No one's explained it really all that well.
No, it's Apple, what is it called?
Maybe it's the lemonada.
Like if you subscribe to, I don't know.
But I'll tell you one thing, I do know.
I know this as a cold hard fact.
We re-release all of our previous episodes,
the ones that are behind the paywall,
the ones that you can listen to at CBB World,
we release them weekly.
It's called Three Visiting on the Twos.
And that is every Tuesday.
You'll hear an older episode.
So don't be confused if they're like,
like on one episode I'm saying, I don't have a baby.
And then another one I'm talking about my baby
because you've probably just heard them out of order.
Yeah, and until Scott had the baby,
we would get him to say once per episode,
I don't have a baby.
We would do a baby check.
Well just to kind of timestamp it.
Yeah, we do a baby check. Yeah, just to kind of time stamp it. Yeah, we do a baby check.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But we love you guys so much and everything you guys do with just-
Why are you so sarcastic?
Just with listening to the show.
Lauren could not be rolling her eyes harder right now.
Everything you guys bring, just when you press play on your phone and stuff, it just does
so much.
So just keep doing that.
But you know what?
Just keep pressing play on your phone or whatever.
I agree with Lauren.
We do love you. We thank you for listening to our Silly Ass show
and we hope you will continue to listen to it
because we're gonna keep doing it.
And why wouldn't you continue listening to it?
And why wouldn't we?
And why wouldn't they?
And why wouldn't who?
And if not them, then why?
It's not like it's a waste of time on our account
or on, you know, for you.
Not at all.
No, this is time well spent for everyone involved.
I would agree.
Yeah.
And by the way, hopefully you're getting a massage
during listening.
God, I hope so.
Because that's-
God, I hope so.
That's very important.
I don't know if we've said that in our 201 episodes,
but this podcast is made for you to get a massage.
You have to multitask this podcast.
Yes, it's about getting massages.
And if you don't do that, you're doing it wrong. Yeah.
OK.
OK, sweetie.
OK, sweetie pie.
All right, well, look, we love you.
Write to us at threedomusa at gmail.com.
And Lauren's taking her headphones off.
It feels like you're really doing a long, long dismount.
All right, bye.
Goodbye. Hey friends, it's Meghan Trainor.
And her big bro, Ryan Trainor.
And her husband, Darryl Sabara.
Each week on our podcast, Working on It,
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