TigerBelly - A Merry TigerBelly Christmas

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

Slept Kingdom -- It's that time of the year! The entire family is here to celebrate a very TigerBelly Christmas. 

["Sukulukumala"] Alright. Hi-May is a beater, but a good one to say the least. He's so lazy, but that's not a stereotype, I'm saying. It's about Hi-May specifically. It's about Hi-May specifically. Welcome to another Christmas episode of Tiger Belly. How many Christmas episodes have we done? Eight. Nine years? Eight years, George?

Eight Christmas episodes. You sing one. Jules? Go ahead, Jules. Eight Christmas. We love Christmas A Christmas, we love Christmas You got one, Jaime. Oh, it's not on.

It's not on. Ready? Hello. Hello, do you? Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, hello. Is the mic on? It's on

Hello, it's Christmas And everybody's happy And everybody gets some Christmas presents If you've been nice or naughty Maybe some eggnog Maybe a little boob touch

What? No boob touch And that's that's your perversion coming out in Christmas, and I don't like it done. It's negative It's not Christmas feeling and we're not touching any boobies Gilbert. Will you stop looking at me? Yeah over the whole time I just always use this face paralysis Over the whole time, all I see is this. Face paralysis. Face. On your face. It looks so weird.

Did you get a stroke? Or are you just half happy to see me? Yeah, yeah. It's like you're two-faced. Now, what's going on there? What's going on there with your face? Can you be warm? No, I don't want to be warm with you. Yeah. I'll be warm to half of you.

OK. Because half of your face is warm to me. All right? What happened there with your face? So apparently, high stress can bring about something called Bell's palsy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bell's palsy. One day I woke up and half of my face was frozen.

And it's been this way for months now. To make Kaleila feel more comfortable, we should all do her face throughout the episode. I want everyone to do the face. Is Jaime already doing it? My face is already like. I always thought that you had Belle's Palsy in your face, yeah.

Jules, do the face. You look like a pirate almost. I always thought that you had both posse in your face. Yeah. Jules, do the face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You look like a pirate almost. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or you're doing an Elvis impression.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Did you watch the Elvis documentary? No, I know everything about him. Ask him. The rice and fall of him? The rice and fall? Yeah.

Yeah. I can't speak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I didn't know. The rice and fall of him? The rice and fall? This is one of the reasons why I haven't been back on. I literally have a speech impediment now. I couldn't say the letter P or F. Stop looking at me like that. Your lips are so thick though. What happened? Does that fuck with your lips?

No. Your lips are so thick on both sides. I mean, up and down, I mean. Anyway. You're so skinny. No. There's no way. Your shoulders are sloping.

It's so weird. You do really see the thinness of it? I do, and I don't like it. You look smaller. I look smaller. But you don't look skinny, you look small. Yeah, I know. That's the thing.

I still look fat, but I'm smaller you know why why? You have the phenomenon of like the rapper Eve your face is always gonna be chubby Yeah, so like you're you're never gonna look skinny like ever. I don't want that phenomenon I have the Eve phenomenon Yeah, like she's going to but it's so cute cause you're never gonna age cause you have fat in your face. No, I'm gonna get those in big face eventually. Please don't.

I do, I really want it. I wanna look like Karen Carpenter. No, you wanna look like Jessica Simpson? Yeah, baby. Or Scott Disick, have you seen him? Scott Disick. He's very skinny. Very, very skinny.

Yeah, it's scary, please don't do that. I'm happy to see you. It's good to see you. See you too. It's really good to see you too. I just so miss you. You know? Really nice for the holidays.

I really like it. The feeling. Look at Joe's like dying there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a really good feeling, don't you think? When people get together. It's nice really. I like it.

Anyway, happy Mary. Happy Mary. Christmas to everybody. Anyway, happy merry. Happy Merry Christmas to everybody. You're gonna look like that if you keep doing it. I can't wait, dude. What? Yeah. Are you really going for like super skinny? What's the what's the look? The final look you're going for? 11 year old Steven Noon. Can we pull that up? No, I don't think there's any photos, but I just making assumptions that he's very he looked very skinny you're gonna need the face What I mean like the genetic? Yeah, go ahead. That's okay. Yeah It's not gonna happen. You don't think I'm gonna look that skinny. You're not gonna like Steven you know That's you know, that's the worst thing I've ever heard. What are you talking about? Of course I am gonna look at that. Of course I am. Yeah, so you don't genetically, you don't think genetically I can do it? No, genetically.

That's gonna be me then. Watch. Look how cute he was. He's so cute. Oh really? Yeah. I'm never gonna look like that? No, never. No.

Okay. Sorry sweetie. Alright, well you know who am I gonna look like then? Let's go there. The guy from... What do you mean? That was frustrating? No. Whoo.

Yeah, tell me. Can name like two guys right now? Tell me now. You go first. Yeah, you go first, Jules. The guy from Oldboy. Mixick Choi. Yeah, you look like him.

That's a good thing. You give me one. That guy from that one movie. Great Jaime. What's the movie? That movie that we're watching. You guys watch the movie? No, no, no. I mentioned the movie about her, I mean about him to her. The show, the show, Squid Games.

Wow, it took you that long to get that. It took you that long to get there? Which one? It's a cast full of Koreans. Yeah, there's a lot of Koreans. You mean the Star Wars one? The guy that was in Star Wars? One of the big guys. So the fat guy from Squid Games. Oh, that one in the train to Busan. Oh, Busan. Is it Busan?

Busan. Oh, that guy. He's almost girthy. Wait, wait. There's a really hot guy in the train to Busan. Not the lead, but he's talking about the guy with the wife. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. That's not a bad thing. No. Thank you, dude. You know what you look like? If Isai Morales was at a marshmallow eating contest, okay?

That's a good one But he you know, he did it for a year He did every he did a comp marshmallow eating contest every year for a year who did Isai Morales Who's that? He should be one of your idols. Very handsome. He's one of the best Hispanic actors in the business. Look at him. Oh him? Yeah, yeah. From Ozark.

Was he in that? Yeah, he's Dale. Yeah. But do you remember from the past? No. You ever saw La Bamba? Yes. He's a brother.

Oh, yeah. I had a dream too, Richie. And at the end he's like, Richie! God damn, you're so good at impressions. Do it again. Do it again, dude. Let me get the cameras out. Okay. And at the end he's like, Richie! God damn, you're so good at impressions. Do it again, dude. Let me get the cameras out. Action. He's walking on the bridge.

Listen, Isai, we're already on the bridge. That was in the script. Stage directions, but you don't have to actually say it. Alright, so there was Eastside then. And action. Richie! And cut. I don't think we need another one. No?

We're moving on. We're moving on. Wow. Give me a different actor. He's been around for a long time. He used to hang out at the comedy store. I met him a couple times. Was he a comic? No, he used to just hang out. He's so hot. He's a around for a long time. He used to hang out at the comedy store. I met him a couple times. Was he a comic? No, he used to just hang out.

He's so hot. He's a great guy. Well, from what I know, he was very nice. What have you been doing the last couple of months? Who are you talking to? You. I've honestly been such a recluse because I'm so afraid to step out

or have conversations with anyone because I'm so conscious about my face and it's been like, I know it's Christmas and we're all happy, but it's like super depressing. And I keep having this like reoccurring fear that like it'll never go back and I'll be like stuck like this for a while because it can happen.

Now you can know what Harvey Dent felt. Honestly though, can I say that like, I know that you wanted me to go as Harvey Dent for Halloween and I feel like I missed that opportunity. I think you did, yeah. But it was, I don't know, I've just been sad. Can I be sad? Well, we feel bad for you, too, for you.

You don't mean it. No, I'm being real. No, that's what's sincere. You know what I mean? Every time I FaceTime Bobby, he literally cannot hold back his laugh. He keeps laughing at my face. I feel like you're doing an app or something,

like a funny filter. Oh, like a filter? Like a funny filter, yeah, yeah. Like a facial paralysis filter? What kind of fucking filter would do this? Jaime, what are you doing? Oh. Not yet, Jaime, not yet.

Yeah, what is that? That's my Christmas gift to them. Oh. He just opened my Christmas gift. Did you drink one already? No, she didn't let me. Okay. Is it alcohol?

Yeah. Okay. Is it? Yes, it is. I'll distribute in a second. What is that? It's a Filipino beer. It's called Encanto and they have an ube flavor, a honey and a mango and it was my gift to everyone but you since you and I don't drink. We don't drink. But it's from Cebu. It's from my island. Jules and I are very proud to represent Encanto beer. Encanto. Is that like the Disney movie? Encanto. Encanto means fairy, right? Yeah, or like something like mythical. Mythical.

Oh. You've seen Home Alone? That's a Christian movie. Home Alone. Once again. Home Alone, once again. Go ahead. Home Alone, once again. Three's a company.

Once again. Once again. Barney Miller. Cheers is a good show. Once again. You need to watch it once again. Four is a company. Oh.

What? That was a show? No. Okay. Anyway. Home Alone. What do you know about Home Alone? I watched it last night again. Which one? This the first one. And then the second one. Yeah. But not the third one. You seen the third one? I didn't see the third one either. I think Esther's in the third one. What's your favorite Christmas movie? Oh Shit, that's a really good one. It's a really good question. You know, I've never seen them much No way. I mean I've seen Elf in passing so good pretty good

You know any of the fucking what's the home improvement guy? I've never seen any of those those are Okay, the best one the best best one still that's still so fun. It's A Wonderful Life. No, yes, yes. That's a great one. No, but it's Christmas Vacation. That's a fun, I've seen that one, yeah, that's a fun, you can see that all year round. Clarke is so funny. Yeah, I like the Randy Quaid's character. Yeah.

And how you can see through his turtleneck, right, can you see through and see his like, I don't even call wife beater or whatever Yeah, what about jingle on the way never seen tell me about that one anybody seen jingle on the way We've that one. We're Arnold. I can't say this last. Yeah. Yeah No, you have to learn no, yeah, I know who I'm talking about. No, I don't know what you're talking about I don't know. He was a governor. No, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Arnold, he was the governor of... No, no, tell me the last thing. Don't be a jerk. I'm not gonna say the last name, because I mess it up.

Try your best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you try it first, and then we'll try one. Everyone say it around the table. Yeah, Jules goes next. Yeah, see. Okay, Arnold. I don't think you can even say Arnold.

Yeah, yeah, work on Arnold first. Yeah. Arnold. You got it. Yeah, you got it. Swish. Okay, guess your guess. Yeah, Arnold. You got it. Yeah, you got it. Swish. Okay, guess your guess. Yeah, very good.

Swish. Got it. Almost, you're close. Yeah, and Jules, your version. How am I gonna say it? Arnold Schwarz. Schwarz. Oh, I think it's the N word?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's not the N word. No, I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was scared they were, it's not the N word. No, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what- I was scared they were both gonna pause a long time- Is that the problem? And then say it like with- Yeah, yeah.

Why are you pausing? Just say it. Yeah, when you pause it, it's a problem. Schwarzenegger. No! Maybe she shouldn't have said it. Yeah, maybe she shouldn't have said it. Maybe she shouldn't have said it. How do you say it?

I think it's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah, right? Arnold Schwarzenegger Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger, right? It's not Schwar-ne-ger That's insane The pause is crazy Just, you know, don't put so much

force I mean, focus on the second half of the last name Yeah, this is Schwarzenegger Schwarzenegger So Schwarzenegger. Yeah, there we go. Schwarzenegger. So you say Arnold what? Arnold? Say the whole thing. You just did it! Sushun... here look. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a Schwarzenegger. That's all. Yeah. Yeah, the governor. Okay, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, the governor. Okay, yeah. This is what I wanted to say. Call him the governor, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jingle all the way. Jingle all the way. It's a 90s movie scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know the movie.

I haven't seen it. Oh, yeah, okay, so basically he's supposed to get that toy. Trouble man. But he gets it on Christmas Eve and he goes to these shenanigans to get the toy. And he co- is Sinbad. Oh, I think I actually have seen this. Sinbad the comedian.

Yeah, Sinbad. Big fan of his. What's your favorite Jules? I like Holiday. Oh, wait, Holiday or the Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Jude Law? Yeah, what's the Holiday? And Kate Winslet and Jack Black. Is it the one with Cameron? Is it Holiday or Holiday? The Holiday Diaz and Jude Law. Yeah, what's the holiday? And Kate Winslet and Jack Black. Is it the one with Cameron?

Is it holiday or holiday? The holiday. Oh, the holiday. That's a really good one. Yeah. It's a rom-com. I've never seen an Asian Christmas movie. You know what's so weird?

Can I tell, okay, let's talk about this because when Easter Sunday came out with Joe Koy's movie, I thought that was such a missed opportunity Why because for Filipinos like Christmas is our Super Bowl. Why did you choose Easter Sunday? Like that's so in county? Yeah, okay, whatever we take a week off in the Philippines, but Christmas starts in July for us Hmm, so it's like a Filipino Christmas family movie would have been so much better I think but no no hate whatever. Did you see it? What? Easter Sunday?

No, I actually have never seen it. That's incredible. A Filipino, you know what? That's outrageous. I bought it. No, no, stop. That's outrageous. I bought it.

I wanna say something right now. Number one, right? This is outrageous. Number one, right? Joe Coy has been on this podcast how many times? How many times? Four. Three or four times, right? Dear family friend of ours, right?

He finally gets a movie, right? A Filipino movie. And the fucking Filipinos that are his friends don't even watch it? That's outrageous! I bought it. Watch it! Do you see Borderlands?

Honestly? We've talked about this. Have you seen it? Honestly, I can't do this. Have you seen it? Honestly, I can't do it. That's outrageous as well. You know why? I think that's outrageous as well. You know why?

Because you told me not to. No, I never said that. Oh, real? I like your comedic laugh right there. I haven't watched it either. Yeah, I'm telling you right now. You said, you called me right after the premiere and you said, sweetie, please don't watch it. No, I never said that.

That's insane. I said, watch it. I want everyone to watch my work. Okay, you know, I mean and it's already did you see it? It's my brother hasn't seen it. My mom hasn't seen it. No one's seen it But I don't I've never seen posters about it or ads so I didn't even know that was out. Oh really? Yeah, that's Insane I on every airplane. It's, it's on the airplane thing. Really? Yeah. I've seen people watch it. It's not even on TikTok.

Do you tell people, like, hey, I'm in that next to them on the plane? Do you nudge them like this? I would. That's funny. No, one time a lady was reading this description of Sweet Dreams right next to me. Oh, yeah, you know, I did see Sweet Dreams on a plane.

I did see it. What was my name in it? I don't remember. No, I did see sweet dreams on a plane. I did see it. What was my name in it? I don't remember. I saw it on the list of movies. I didn't actually watch it. Yeah, like nobody watches anything that you know we do. Are you crazy Bobby? It's crazy. You know what, you're such a fucking victim right now because I have literally watched everything you've been, even your Magnum PI episodes I've watched. You haven't watched them. Yeah, I'm not talking about you right now. Okay.

I'm talking about this one right here. I've seen the ramen one. Yeah, it's a YouTube five minute short, you saw that? Oh, thank you. Yeah, but that was so cool. Oh, that's thank you. I appreciate it. Can I say something right now to you, Jules, okay?

If you were in like, wicked, no, not that not, no that's not what it is. Let me think of something else. If you're watching, like wicked. I would see it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen wicked? I heard it's great. It's so good. You saw it? I heard it's great. You watched gladiators? And I didn't want it to be good. Why? Please don't ask me that, but I'll answer. I want to tiptoe my way around it. It's the poster, some guy remade the poster.

Oh, that one pissed a lot of people off. And then it has the Green Witch, right, and the hat is over the face, and there's a little smirk, right? And the reason why this Green Witch has a smirk, because she's up to something, right? She's, you know, it gives the character, you have some insight into the character's motivation,

who she is, right? So that's the original? That little original, right? So no eyes. And then she puts on a poster with just her whole face with no smirk so some fan goes you know what I want to put I want to make the poster and like a fan and that and that is like she went crazy yeah me good edit right there I should leave why why I've been here in a while I'm haven't been in a while. I'm on edge. I'm on edge.

I'm on edge. I'm on edge. No, but no. And then, you know. It's crazy in what way? Like, was she upset about it? She, like, so the fan did it as like a fan thing. Like, I love Wicked.

I want to turn like the original poster and use the actual actors. So like, you know, covered the eyes. And she kind of went off on like. You want to see, you want to see. It's an erasure of my, like my, my BIPOC nature. I'm like, like it's a, it's an erasure of my identity. I see.

Yeah. So people felt it was a little like, too out of touch, almost out of touch. And to me I was just like, no, no, no. Number one, I love it when, you know, I've said it on stage. I love black hobbits. What's it, what?

What? What was that little laugh about? No, go ahead, black hobbits. Do you even know what I'm saying? Yeah, you said black hobbits. Yeah, but what I'm referring to. And what terms. Exactly. Exactly.

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly, I know what you're doing. Exactly, Jaime. And what terms exactly? Exactly Jaime, I don't think you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about there right now Yeah, a little bit yet because I have this gab and it's opening so let me see yeah I don't know about any stitches. Let me turn it to me. Oh, that's deep. I'm it. How did that happen? I was cutting myself washing dishes. Wait, you were cutting yourself, washing dishes?

I cut myself washing the dishes. Yeah, how? There was a knife in the dish, in the sink? Yeah, and then I was like, scrub it. Oh, like that? Yeah. Oh, wow. You clean a knife like that?

Yeah, you clean your knife like that, huh? Yeah, don't you? Yeah. With a sponge? I do that. Yeah. I'm a little mindful and careful, though, so that I don't cut myself. I haven't cleaned a dish in years.

You don't wash dishes. This is the anti-holiday feeling I'm talking about. I don't like it. Yes, I have. What are you doing for Christmas? Nothing. Like I did Thanksgiving, nothing. Really?

Yeah. I didn't do anything either. You had a family get together. No, we didn't. That's what she said. We had dinner. Dinner! Yeah, with everyone. No, we didn't. That's what she said. We had dinner. Dinner! Yeah, with everyone.

No, not everyone. Who was there? Just me, my mom, Jules, my sister. Yeah, and there's not a big entity there either. Was there a big entity there or not? Here's why I don't want to talk about the big entity. Because every time I want to talk to you about the big entity, you shut it out.

You're just like, I don't want to talk about the big entity. Yeah, yeah. The big entity. like, I don't want to talk about the big entity. Yeah. You want to pretend that. Well, there's an entity. OK, let me just say something, OK? When there's entities around, in my house or anywhere, I always call it out.

I go, there's the entity. But you don't bring up the entity. No, you don't. The reason why I don't come to the dinner, because the entities are there. I'm scared of entities. Check your check. What does your text message say? Do you want to to the dinner because the entities are there. I'm scared of entities. Check your check. What does your text message say?

Do you want to go to dinner with a big entity? I don't want to be around the entity. Google entity. What does it mean? Jaime, please read it. Read entity. Oh, God. A thing with entity, a definition is a thing with this think an independent existence

Yeah, I don't like independent You know me and it hurts it they just weren't run so freely Bobby it's been years. Yeah, I know Can we just like I can't get on with it? I can't I've met so many of your girlfriends. It's because ah Oh what? It's like the black opposite. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Do you know what is going on? Now when she's a girlfriend I put context clues. Oh, yeah. Yeah one-on-one Wow big entity means yeah The worst Sherlock What nothing

Ah, what? Nothing. Um, God, Morality would go crazy with your fucking Sherlock. He would never get caught. You know what Morality is? Yeah. Who? Um, what's that story? The guy in the movie? Yeah, tell us the story. Hickley? What's that story, guys? Come on. No, no, no, let him.

I want you to solve things on your own. I hope. No, no, no, no. Let him, let him. I want you to solve things on your own. Like Sherlock. The great, oh, damn it. The, hey, what's that story? Hank, Hank. Hank is the area? What are you talking about? That story was like, you know,

you read books in high school? She reads a lot of books. Yeah. Heiko, Hyde. It's Jekyll and Hyde. Oh, Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. Yeah, what about it?

What about Jekyll and Hyde? I thought that's what you were referring to. Moriarty? Yeah Is that what it is? You tell me dude. Well, I thought Sharik Holmes takes place in that sense On that time period. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Jake Owen Hyde Jake Owen Hyde. Is that the Mexican version of it? Hey Jake O! Hey Jake O! Where the fuck's Hyde bro? Jake going hi, is that the Mexican version of it?

So no Murray already is Sherlock Holmes is nemesis villain the villain played by Robert Dunning jr. And No Robert Dunning was actually sure Sherlock Holmes and his co-star is Is what's his name that his sidekick? Jude Watson Jude Law Watson Watson. Yeah Anyway Guys ever like kiss somebody under the mistletoe Is that like a thing in the Philippines? No, no, no. It's a thing all over the world.

Well, I know, but have you guys ever done it to yourselves? Not to yourselves, but like with somebody. Would you even know what mistletoe looks like? Yeah, it's the two little leaves and the little red ball. Exactly, dude. Wow, I didn't know that. It's somewhere. Have you had it?

I want to. I want to share that this year. Wait, are you still seeing that same girl? From when? It's been a lot. Oh! That's my boy. It's been a lot.

Wow, really? Are you getting serious with anyone? I try to, but they don't. Right now I'm seeing this one girl. She's a chiropractor. Yeah. Is she the new one? Yeah.

Oh, so you left the other one? I didn't leave her, she left me. Are you guys getting serious? I don't know. Does she work on your body? Yeah, she gave me, what's that thing I brought last time? The back brace? Yep. Yeah, because she-

She came here with the remember? Wait, she- No. She's trying to fix her posture. I never saw that. I showed you. No, you didn't show me, dude. She gave me a back brace. Oh, okay

Yeah, yeah, is it on now or not? Yeah, yeah too much. How is your back? Same as every 20 year old. Yeah, the 80 year old Wow when you dream. What do you dream about? Last night I had a dream What was it about I was at a restaurant with a group of friends. I bet a lot of your dreams are in restaurants. Because I eat a lot? That's an assumption. I'm just assuming.

We're at a Taco Bell. Of course. Do you know what you ordered? Yes. In the dream? Yes. Really? I don't remember those. So in the dream what did you order? Three cruncher tacos. Would you order that in real life too? Yeah. Okay. And then a cheesy gorilla crunch. Wow. Right? That's good, right? That's pretty good combination. Very good. Thank you.

What have you been dreaming about? I'm trapped. Like I'm always trapped in some place where I can't get out, like a well. A well? Yeah, I mean a well can't get out. Yeah, there's always like, I'm always stuck somewhere. That's really like dark and scary. But in the well there's balloons, there's all kinds of stuff happening. That's like the silence of the lambs, is that why?

No, no, no, there's no like fingernails in the wall. It's like, you know what I mean? You just fell in there? Yeah, sometimes Andrew's down there with me. You know what I mean? And we laugh. mean? You just fell in there? Yeah, sometimes Andrew is down there with me. You know what I mean? And we laugh. It says, trapped not being, if you have a dream of being trapped, it's not being able to leave a dark place.

It's commonly connecting to your unconscious mind behaviors, urges, and emotions that are not understood. Wow. What is not understood? I don't know. I have no idea what you're saying. You know what I mean? I don't even know what you're reading to me.

But it's like, that's it, you know? Have you had like, when you look back at 2024, are you really happy with how it went? Well, that, okay, well, that's a very good question. You know, I think my 2024 was in terms of my career, the best year I've ever had. In terms of my personal life, it's been the worst. Yeah, so, you know, it's a combination of two things.

But kind of fun? There's been moments of levity and joy and fun where I'm like, oh, this is cool. The beginning of the year started with doing that big show with Gillis and Tom and Bird at the Vegas, That was fun. And then, you know, the tour in Australia was fun. Even that Hulu thing that I just went to was pretty fun. Oh yeah, I saw that. You said you texted me that New Zealand's like the

best place you've ever visited. The show was the worst, but the... The worst? Why? Oh, they just wouldn't let me tell my jokes. They were like heckling so... The worst, why? Oh, they just wouldn't let me tell my jokes. They were like heckling so much. Really? Oh, they were so rowdy, yeah. I've never ended my show going, okay, I'm done. No way. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't do this, I'm done. The first show I did that, I go, I'm done. And then, but me and Andrew on our scooters, going around Auckland was the most, I think my best human experience with him, because we were like little kids. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Every corner was like, oh my God, look how beautiful. And then we went to this coffee shop, you know what I mean? And there was a Chinese family that ran it, you know what I mean? And we were just laughing, you know what I mean? And it was beautiful. It was a beautiful day. So, you know, there's moments, you know, I think my relationships with my friends have been strengthened. I think I've been nicer to people. Do you guys think or not? Yeah.

A little nicer to people. Yeah. How about you? How was your year? Weird. But now you know what? It's been honestly, I think... A miracle. The best year of my life. Yeah, a miracle. But even though it's ending a little bit strange with my face being this way, I think for the most part it's been, you know, not... it's been great. Now you're going to come back now and do the shows, right? That's what I was going to ask you guys. I really have so much anxiety and insecurity about like talking to guests with my crooked face and even with Trash Tuesday, it's like

I've been having like Jenna on and I've been wanting David So, Gilbert, Thumbfound, people that I already like know personally because I don't I just feel really like I Don't I feel anxious about having to like explain why you know and my eye my left eye still not closing Yeah, I miss you guys. I genuinely like I could cry thinking about just being here and being around you guys It's like I I know it's been like however long a decade since we've been doing this But like this is such a part of like who I am and it's such a part of like my week to week that I've felt a huge void.

Honestly, like, it's been, it's been kind of like, I want my face to get better, but also it's been eye-opening in that, like, there's a relief in being ugly. Please explain. It's- Was it paused? Was that an- There's a relief in being ugly Please explain You know what that was on a that was a relating a relating pause that you related to her Yeah, I heard what she said. Yeah. Yeah, and what did she say? What did she say? That's a relief to be ugly Yeah, and and you made a little noise. Yeah, explain to us what this nose is noise

Well, I'm gonna let her explain first And then maybe I know what I'm talking about Maybe yeah, yeah, you need your own talk show I think Yeah, that's our next goal. Oh god. Yeah, so what is it? The relief is that like my whole life I've been so conscious about the way I look on camera like my makeup my hair my this and that even if I like always Wear sweatpants like I really always cared about like my body and shit, right? I literally cannot care about it because it's not in my control.

Sure. And there is a level of like, oh, all right, like give up. Like this is just how it is. And like, and honestly, like I don't care so much. Oh, what I heard was it's a relief to be ugly. You resonates with you? Think so, maybe. Because I'm very self-conscious whenever I'm on my camera and like the guy takes, Alex takes a picture of me.

What are you self-conscious about? Like what parts of you? My double chin right here. Okay. And my lip. What about your lip? You, I think, can I just say something? The cutest part about you is your mouth.

Kalei, Kalei, Kalei you is like like like like I swear to God I Just think about what you're saying because I don't like I Mean I promise you look at me right now. Look at me right now. Okay, go easy Jules back me up No Oh, you see okay, go ahead Say go ahead. I'll have something to say, go ahead. We'll be the third.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite thing about your face is your lips, your crooked smile. It is so endearing and it's so memorable. It's like, anytime I see you, it like makes me kind of like, it's so cute to me. So that's all I wanted to say. Jules?

Okay. My turn. He has a crush on Ralph. Oh! Sorry! Oh! Oh! Oh! Sorry.

Don't tell. Oh. No, hey. Hello. Call of my... You have a crush on my friend Ralph? No. Yeah.

No, I don't. Yeah. Excuse me? He's my best friend. I know. He's a... You have a crush on my best friend? No, I don't.

Yeah, you do. We'll let him know. I just thought that he was super cute when he came here. He is cute. Yeah, I had to tell Tecalae about it. Anyway, so give him the compliment. Okay, now talk about his other friend, Rob's friend. And Julie, do you have a compliment?

Your nose is my favorite part because it looks like Pedro Pascal's nose. Thank you. What? Wow, that's a good compliment. Can we pull that up, Gil? Well, can I do mine first? That's so, my compliment?

Oh yeah, even from the side. Yeah. You know how? Wow, Hyman, look. Yeah, yeah, dude, you know what? You do have his nose. Congratulations. Look, this is exactly it. Yeah, exactly. Put your head to the fuck. Yeah, dude, you know what? You do have his nose. Congratulations. Look, he's exactly it.

Yeah, exactly. Put your head to the side. He's daddy. Yeah. The only problem is you have Rosie O'Donnell's face. That's what I was gonna help. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that what you wanted to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not what I wanted to say, but that's the only problem. You know how the universe just goes on and on? Yeah, it's just like your cheeks. They just go on and on. Yeah, I don't know, that was not good.

That was so mean. Wait, wait a second. That was so mean, that was not good. You don't think you have cheeks? I have cheeks, you have cheeks. We're all cheeky. Yeah. I was making a compliment. We're the cheekiest pod. Look at Gilbert's face, we're all cheeky. Yeah. That's a compliment.

We're the cheekiest pod. Look at Gilbert's face, look at Alex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I think you're a very cute guy. No. Yeah, yeah. And I, you know, it's been a real blessing having you here. Thank you for having me.

And, you know, I view you as, you know, who's been asking you about you a lot is Andrew. Get out of here. I swear to God. He's been mentioning you. He's like, oh, that kid that you as, you know who's been asking about you a lot? Is Andrew. Get out of here. I swear to God, he's been mentioning you. He's like, oh that kid that you have, he's very funny. Oh, he yelled at me at the comedy store. Why? As a joke though, right?

Yeah, I knew he was joking. Yeah, he's joking, right? No, he really likes you. And I think a lot of people do, and congratulations. Thank you. I think he only likes me because of Ralph, right? No, no. No, don't say that, Jaime.

He doesn't even really kind of put that two and two together really. But you think that people only like you because you're associated to Ralph? Because that's just not the case. No, I think you're associated, I think you're more associated with this podcast now. And Ralph. No, but mostly here now. Oh, he's trying to shut you down. Because I think that, you know, you've done how many of these?

How many? Probably four months worth? Yeah. Yeah, four months worth. A bunch of episodes. I think people now, you know, when they think of you, they don't necessarily think of Ralph. Think of me. Oh God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's a good thing too, no? I guess, yeah. Yeah. Yeah? It's a little Bobby. They call me little Bobby. Yeah, yeah. Some people do. She's been a real blessing. That's all. Thanks, man. You're welcome. Anyway, have you been watching anything good guys? Let's talk about the Great British Bake Off. Do you know the? Oh gosh, I didn't. I haven't finished a season yet, but I just saw that, what's her name? The Big Lady is Gone. The... Oh, the Russian one? No, she was like German or something. Oh, German, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was so funny. Who do you think the best one is so far? Gosh, why am I blanking on their names? But I think the young Indian girl. You think she's the best? I think she young Indian girl. You think she's the best? I think she's good. Wait, who do you think?

Dylan. Which one's Dylan? He's like the good looking little Hawaiian looking kid. With the thick eyebrows and everything? Yeah, yeah. Really? He looks like an American Idol. That guy in the middle.

Star. Yeah, he has a really cool looking face. Yeah, the kid is so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, kid is so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah anyway um what? Nothing. How many episodes are you in? Um right after the one where she leaves. Okay. The lady on the right. So yeah you keep watching. Yeah I think I stopped it like pastry week or something. Did you guys watch the penguin? Yeah we've been watching

the penguin. Finished it? Not yet. I think we're like one episode. Nothing? Should we do Christmas gifts? Okay. Sure. Well, they already- I don't have any. Me either. Claude let's try to one all- Yeah, yeah.

Do you have Christmas- we didn't bring any. You went- no, I would honestly have the ube. The ube lager is so good. Oh wait, your palate is a little weird. Maybe the mango. Did you see the video of him eating sushi? I saw that. I was really proud of you.

Were you? I was like kind of like, what's the but you know. Raw fish. Oh yeah you need a bottle opener sorry. So can I ask you some questions about Santa Claus? Yeah. You think Santa Claus goes to the Philippines? Yeah. When does he go? Does he go at the end? Why? Oh, you think that we're like at the bottom of his list. Like if he has time. So like US is first, then European countries. Is that what you're saying? Okay, let me just see what,

I mean, I would think that he would go to US first. Why? Highest GDP. Exactly, thank you. Thank you, highest GBT. And, yeah, chat GPT. Yeah, chat GPT, dude. So you're saying he. Highest GPT. Chatchie PT. Yeah, Chatchie PT, dude. So you're saying he would even go to California first?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. That was the largest economy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking about economy. Yeah, yeah. I think he goes to California, heads the West Coast first, right? No, he would go East Coast because of the time change. Right? It's, you know what I mean? It's later. Yeah.

Oh my God. We see him first. No. Because we're actually in the future. He might not have the time. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Listen to me.

Christmas happens in the Philippines before it happens here. We're actually like 17 hours ahead, so you're fucking wrong. In fact, we beat Korea. Yeah. Well, I've been to, okay, let me ask you another question though.

Okay. I've been to the Philippines, not I... Let me ask you another question though. Okay. All right? I've been to the Philippines. Not a lot of chimneys. That's not the only... Not a lot of chimneys. So how the fuck does he get in the house?

He throws it all over the yard. He does? Yeah. That's what my dad says. Because when my dad... Okay. Okay. Because when my dad...

When we had Santa come over and our gifts and stuff, my dad would be like, Santa is here. So there are some gifts under the tree. And he'd be like, go downstairs and like see if you can like chase after him. And we'd go downstairs and run into the yard and there'd be like a hula hoop and a tree. It was like scattered, gifts scattered everywhere. And so that's how.

I think Santa has time to play a hide and go see kind of a. No, no, no. Is that a Filipino thing or your dad thing? My dad thing. He's just like, hold on, but Santa is real, right? It's real. So he just basically goes, throws in the lawn. It's not time.

It's not time for milk and cookies or whatever the fuck Americans wanna do with Santa. But no, he's a busy guy. He just throws it all. He just throws it all. He does go there. He does first. He goes to all those islands.

All the islands. Can I say that he goes to Manila first? Yeah. Why? He also wears a burong. Yeah. Oh look, Santa's wearing a burong there. Yeah.

Okay, so he does go, interesting. Where's the rice hat? What about Korea? What? What about Korea? You think that, okay, you think that he goes to the Philippines but not Korea? I don't think he cares about Koreans very much.

Give me, why? I mean, you guys are just. We have shit. Martial law, dude. It's like basically giving Samsung to the creator of Samsung. You know what I mean? What?

Like, you guys have stuff. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, is his, I mean, Filipino gifts are probably easy. What do you think Filipino gifts are? Like a pineapple, like pineapple and coconut. I think as a kid, I was like, dear Santa, I want a pineapple.

You're right. You're right. You never wrote to Santa. It shows. No, I never. Cause I remember one time, I was at maybe nine or 10, a kid told me, just came up to me and goes, Santa's not real.

And then I went home and my dad goes no he's not real you know I mean and then it was just ended it ended it did you believe in Santa Jules yeah did you write to Santa but but what did you write him I said I remember like asking for like Barbie dolls dude look at Korean Santa it look right. No, it looks so right to me, dude. Look at it. Look at how rosy his cheeks are. It's amazing. So what did you write him?

Barbie dolls and like a bicycle. I always thought like Santa would just go through the front door. I've never thought like we needed chimneys for it. Oh, you think that Santa just goes to the front door I've never thought like we needed chimneys for it oh you think that Santa just goes to the front door yeah at midnight and we don't need to put cookies and milk he just do better yeah why does he need that yeah I just I want I don't want to be confrontational I honestly don't believe

he goes in the Philippines are there Christmas carols we have the best oh you guys sing so good no no I mean like it's still part of our culture where you go house to house. Look at the Mexican Santa dude. Oh my god. All the gifts are pinatas. Yeah yeah. That's very inaccurate. Oh really? Yeah. Why? He doesn't give pinatas as gifts. No he gives pinatas? We get a can of frijoles. Wow, this is an actual guy that did this. Not coke, like that Coca Cola. Oh, Mexican Coke. That's incredible. What's the best gift you've gotten for Christmas, Jaime?

This is good. The mango IPA. I'm only feeling it. You drink another one, man. Drink the ube one. Yeah, try the ube one. No, I had to drive. What? You said you don't have to drive.

I lied. It's his new character. He's trying to be drunk dad on Christmas. He's trying to be drunk dad on Christmas, this whole thing. Go ahead. My dad neglected me as a child. Did he really? Hmm. The best Christmas gift I ever got...

You backed out of that quick. No, I love my dad. The best Christmas gift I ever got was like an Xbox. That's a good gift. Xbox 360. That's a great gift, dude. That was the first one on my street to have one. Really? And then Ralph. Oh, Ralph got it in one second? X-Fox 360. That's a great gift. That's a great gift. That was the first one on my street to have one.

Really? And then Ralph. Oh Ralph got it in one second? No, he got the PS3. Oh, so you couldn't play each other? Wow. But everybody went to his house instead of mine. You guys live like close to each other? How close? Two houses down. No! Wow. So cute. Are they still like that? No. Your parents are still next to it? Oh yeah they are. Two houses down? Two houses down, yeah. I can't even speak today. Okay. They all went to his house, not mine. Really?

It's beautiful. Because we had like 13 people living with us so there wasn't much room to play. What's the best gift you've gotten Jules? For Christmas I think Ephraim got me the PC. The computer. That's incredible. Gaming PC. Incredible.

How about you? Best Christmas gift ever. No, you know what you and I did? What? We gave the best Christmas gifts. What did we give? Everything. Traeger grill.

Remember, we would... Oh yeah. So Bobby and I would do this like Christmas Bob Nanza, or we would buy like 10 like expensive gifts and we would have people like fight for them. The best gift I got was a Golden Goose leather jacket. Yeah, I think you got me an iPad once. Yeah, did I give you anything ever? You gave me like the anime rug

That was cute. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool. Yeah, I have a gift for you Bobby. Yeah, take it to the messian Want to pass it to you or you want me I want you to come and deliver to me No, I need him to deliver to me. Thank you Bring this beer with him deliver to me no I need him to deliver to me thank you Wow wolf brand chili Texas oh it is yeah cuz you remember Texas off technique. You okay? Yeah, it says off technique. Oh, off technique. What's the word? Texas, wait, let me see it again. No, what's the word? Is Wolf Branch early Texas.

Ah what? Ah what technique. Ah technique? Ah technique. Ah technique. You got it, it's fine. We understand it, authentic. Authentic. Authentic.

Jesus. No one's making Authentic. Jesus. No one's making fun of you, Jaime. You guys are mean. I know. Yeah. He can't see authentic. He can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank you. Do you have one? Yes. Oh my God. It's been a year, yes.

Thank you for the authentic wolf chili. You're welcome. Is it good? Yes. I'm going to try it tonight. I want you thank you for the authentic wolf chili is it good yes I'm gonna try tonight I want to see you eat it the way you made me eat sushi yeah you hated it that much sushi yeah the only thing I like was a California roll yeah but the rest of me didn't like you yeah man all right so good no we're gonna take you to a nice restaurant one day. But thank you so much. Thanks for the gift.

You brought that with you from Texas? Yeah, pass it to TSA. Oh, thank you so much. You smuggled it across. Yeah, smuggled. That's great, dude. They saw it but they ignored it. Of course they did.

It's chilly. They're like, whose bag is this? I'm like, it's mine. They're like, ah, it makes sense. Yeah. You know. So what are you guys, what are we gonna do for Christmas this year? I'm like, it's mine. That makes sense. Yeah, you know, so what do you guys what are we gonna do for Christmas? this year I'm doing nothing you I

Wouldn't I haven't been home in a long time. So you're gonna go home. I want to hang out with my mom. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna hang out with her and I've been done in a long time and I miss it. I'm gonna sleep in the house And then try to figure that out, you know. Jules, what are we doing? Just dinner. Watch movies. Yeah, sleep over. Oh yeah, we're doing a slumber. You saw Gladiator already? No, not yet. She did though. Good? It was good. I'm just, there's so many hot guys that I think it's good. It's a good movie because of the hot guy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What?

That's what I like watching gladiator movies. The hot guy. Paul Mascall and Pedro. So hot. Oh my god. Paul Mascall is pretty hot. Pretty hot, yeah. Pedro Pascal, yeah.

Yeah, pretty hot stuff, man. Ignore the script. Yeah. Why don't we all give each other end give each other like end of year wishes for each other? Through song. Yeah. Everyone gets eight bars. Merry Christmas to you my friend Let your destiny not come to an end Creating laughter and creating joy And may you get many toys under the tree I'm alone again in this house I'm alone I might die here alone

In the house once again. I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself for Christmas. Bye bye. Bye bye. What do you think? So good. I'd be your best.

Yeah, is that right? Yeah? Yeah. Pretty heartfelt. You want to try a little verse or what? Hi, Mac. Jules. Hi, Mac.

It's the end of the year again, like every year. I wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Like they say, it's always the darkest before the dawn. Oh, that was it? No. And wish you many more years, fellas and gals. Very good song. That was it. No. And, wish you many more years, fellas and gals. Very good song. Jules?

Let me try different. That was a little depressing though. Yeah. Right? The chords were a little depressing. It was like, you know, In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was very bad. Just the different. Okay. Sorry. You're getting into it with your hands. I like it. Give it a minute though. Give it a minute. I'll do some humming with you.

Okay. No, no, I don't want that. Hold on. I'll do some humming with you. Okay. No, no, I don't want that. Hold on. What do you do with your hands? I'm trying to be on G. You look really nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ["Love in Everyone"]

Christmas time, it's here. Love in everyone. What? Christmas time, wishing everyone happiness Yeah I love you Really good Alright, Too Fast, you got it?

No, I can't sing, sweetie, I can't sing Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're gonna. My best friend. We used to celebrate this time of year. It's like Doctor Strange Love. It's literally, put up Doctor Strange. Oh, give me anotherove. It's literally, put up Dr. Strangelove. Oh, give me another chance. It's like Dr. Strangelove singing. Look up Dr. Strangelove. I sort of got it.

You give me Dr. with the glasses. Give me another chance. They didn't move the whole time. It was crazy. It's like you're putting a spell on me or something. Put Dr. Strangelove up. There's Dr. Strangelove. Kalala's face wasn't moving at all.

It was not moving at all, dude. She was like, my best friend. Yeah all his face wasn't moving at all. It was not moving at all, dude. She was like, my best friend. Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna see this. All right, doctor, ready? Go ahead, go ahead.

I'm missing you. This is not gonna work for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the Dr. Strangelove, ready? I'm missing you, my best friend. Christmas hasn't been the same. I'm missing the hugs and kisses, the cats, the dogs under the tree.

That's so nice of them. So good, thank you Dr. Strangelove. George and Gilbert, you want to go to go? Sure, we should have Alex rap. Yeah, at the end, no, so you guys do a do what and then have Alex rap, all right? Yeah. Let me see here.

Something faster. ["Forever Young"] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh vibe is a show, and who walks in? It's Bobby Lee, oh Bobby Lee in a Santa hat. Dancing wild like it's MTV. He grabs the mic and sings off key, The cookies crumble, melts out of sight. Bobby's got jokes, he's cracking spree. He tells the tale of a Christmas night. What are you reading, dude?

Chad G.P.T. What? Chad's got a Christmas tree. That's not the cheat. I want a Chad G.P.T. song. Let's do it together. No, you... Here we go. I'm going to use Chad too be here song Let's do it together No you...here we go

I'm going to use chat too man That's so cheating dude Are you cheating dude? I want to try to hold on Okay so this is chat GPT I put Bobby Lee in Bobbing Ready? Yeah Okay

It's a Christmas Eve The snow's falling down the snow's falling down Bobby leaves the wildest guy in town In a Santa suit, he's making a scene Sliding down chimneys like a comedy king Wow, that's pretty. That's pretty good. Jingle bells he's ringing the laughs, stuffing the stockings with jokes from his past. Egg stock in hand, he's dancing on the tree. Who needs Rudolph? We got Bobby Lee.

Oh pretty good. Alright, chat. Alright, you have a chat GBT on Kalyla? I'm so sorry, I dug into the cookies. Okay, well I can do, I have a chat GBT too. I have one. Oh, you want a single one? Yeah. Okay, hold on.

Hold on. This one's called Christmas Star Hymen. Oh Hymen, you're a Christmas star shining bright no matter where you are with your laugh. You like the tree? Oh, it's a cut. Okay. Wow, what a show. What a show. What a garbage show. Good night. Merry gun. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, what a show. What a show.

What a garbage show. Good night. Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Thank you for watching!