TigerBelly - Bill Burr & The Dipping Ramen

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Bill Burr returns for his 3rd TigerBelly appearance and our friend Jamie is back. We chat Bobby Ree, no speaking code, Xbox trees, sold out Fenway, tsukumen, and "You're funny to me..." Now through April 30th, Robinhood is even boosting every single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match. That’s right- no cap on the 3% match. Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match. This offer is good through April 30. Get started at www.Robinhood.com/BOOST Subscription fees apply. Download the app today and use code BELLY for a first deposit match up to $100 PrizePicks: “Pick more. Pick less. It’s that Easy!” Listeners get 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to www.helixsleep.com/belly and use code HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet!  

Aloha, mahalo, mahalo, aloha, mahalo. We are gonna be Tiger Billy Live April 26th, guys. We're at the Hawaii theater, Honolulu, Hawaii. It's gonna be our live game show night. We're gonna have surprise guests. We're gonna have so many surprise guests. And I just, you got, I mean, we're gonna sell out. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So you gotta get tickets now. Don't sleep on this. Don't sleep on it or So you gotta get tickets now. Don't sleep on this. Don't sleep on it or we'll sleep on your face. We'll sleep on your face. Blood farts. Ew. Wait a second.

Don't they also have the option for VIP tickets to? You have the option of VIP tickets to do what? I think our VIP experience is so cool. You get to the best experience. You literally just get to sit around in a circle with us and ask us anything, anything at all. It's great. Please come.

Go to tigerbellylive.com for your tickets. Enjoy the show. What was the required reading in when you went to high school? I was actually in dyslexia. You have dyslexia? I'm dyslexia. I think Bobby does too. So you read the in and out menu backwards? I can't read.

You can't read? I haven't passed. Still you can't read? I can read. I know what your hat says. I know but if I gave you like a paragraph in a book you wouldn't be able to read the whole thing? Yeah I can read it. We had to read the, how to kill the mockingbird.

What? Kill a mockingbird. Tell me more. You read the kill of the monkey book? No, the mockingbird. I thought you said to kill the kilp. Yeah, kill the monkey bird. Kill the mockingbird.

Really, what's that about? I forgot, it was in high school. You don't know the setting? What's the setting of it, because I know that. How to kill birds. No, no, no, it's a hearing. It's definitely not about how to kill birds. Is it a trial?

I don't know. It's a trial, right? Get a list of books that you're gonna ask Bill if you ever read them. Scott Pilgrim. Oh, was that a book? I thought it was just a movie. No, it's books.

Oh wow, I didn't know that. That's really cool. Eight books. And you read them? Yeah. No, he didn't. Yes, I did. They're comic books.

They're comic books. Oh, they are? Yeah. That counts, that absolutely counts. I'm not on today, dude. I can feel it. That's okay. Where'd you just come from?

Last night, I went to Carlisle's house, but then, I was feel it. That's okay. Where'd you just come from? Last night, I went to Kailah's house, but then I was in Austin, Texas. And then- We had our weekly heart to heart. Last night we had a weekly heart to heart. And then, well, I mean, because of betrayal, but we're not gonna talk about that. Oh man.

We can talk about it a little, just not to the extent that you wanna talk about it. How about light details? So I'll tell you this So I'll tell you this I'll tell you this betrayal this fucking Game of Thrones betrayal then I'm Lonely I'm in Austin and as one does when they're lonely you're in Austin. Okay, you're right Yeah, and I was in those back home Dallas, but uh you were in Austin no, but uh, what you just says yes well, cuz you're lonely I I was back home in Dallas, but uh... You were in Austin? No, but uh... Then what, you just said yes? Well, because you're lonely. I was offered Pornhub, but uh...

Okay, that's not that kind of lonely. Oh, okay. And I have Pornhub! But you can't watch it in Texas no more. Jaime has some news. Why? It's banned. Pornhub is banned in Texas. Land of the free.

Is it really? I woke up Thursday to check my account and it's blocked. How did you feel? Sad. But there's other sites, I went to other sites. I want to pay for that. Well that's the problem. Is Pornhub like supreme still?

Can we talk about the betrayal of the Congress and Pornhub? Yeah let's talk about Congress. Yeah that's what I meant. That really is a bigger betrayal. Let's talk about the hypocrisy of Congress and Pornhub? Or? Yeah, let's talk about Congress. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, yeah. That really is a bigger problem. Let's talk about the hypocrisy of Congress and Pornhub. The hypocrisy. Yeah, anyway.

Honey, you know, in this podcast, just don't talk too much. Okay. When Bill's here. You know, I just, now I'm afraid that you're gonna break the bridges here. With Bill? Yeah, with Bill. How about you put something on the table

when he has a question he's allowed to say? How about I do something where I tell him to shut the fuck up without saying shut the fuck up. See this hat? Right? I want to put it on my head. So discreet. Yeah, every time.

Yeah, all right. I'm going to go like this and like this. No, that's not good. Can you get like a bell? There's no bell. No, that's, do you think that's more disc like a like a bell? There's no better. No, that's do you think that's more discreet a Gong gong. Come on, man. So that bill doesn't know so I'm gonna go. Um, what's a code word? Howler

pie oh You have to use pie heller pie. Howler pie howler your hat howler pie howler pie. He's not If I just go, ow! You think that is discreet. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Why don't you just like massage your temples or something? No. Yeah, that one, that one's good.

No, I'm not doing this again. But I'm gonna- You're gonna do a weak. No, I'll do how, ow, ow, ow, like that. More weak. He's gonna get confused. No, that's on brand. Okay. Okay. Okay, like that. Or a wink. He's gonna get confused. He's like, what? No, that's on brand. Okay. Okay.

Okay, go ahead. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. You got me so. The betrayal. Oh, the betrayal. Let's go back to the betrayal. This is so silly. What, the betrayal?

So silly. All right, so I was scrolling alone in the fucking hotel room and I go come across a friend, a family member. You have to understand for the 10 years I was dating Kaleila, I was embedded into the family. All the holidays, the whole family together. I mean, you're talking about 30 people in a photo,

games, fellowship, love, the whole thing. I'm looking through, I go to our friends, Jay, I'll just say Jay, and I go, oh, and it looked like a photo that we had taken before, maybe for Christmas or something. I zoom in and I see behind Kalyla, first of all, she's holding a baby. Who the foosbaby is that?

Gardo's daughter. Oh yeah, beautiful. You're right, you're right, too angry. Very, yeah. And then behind her is a brown gigantic head. I mean just a brown, I thought it was a fucking. Ghost? No.

Brown? The brown? You've seen brown ghosts before? Yeah. Yeah, okay, that's not a Mexican ghost. I think Mexican ghosts are brown. No offense. No, it's fine.

Hey, um, ah-oo! It works. It does work. It does work. Okay. All right? Even okays. Nothing.

When I say ah- will for like three minutes. Okay. So this check, I thought it was like a blur almost, like a smudge. And I zoom even more and it's the guy she's seeing. And he's smiling. And you know what the smile says? I'm the new shit in town.

I'm replacing. You know what I mean? I'm the new shit in town. I'm replacing. You know what I mean? I'm the rookie. And me, I'm the old guy on the team. I'm getting out. The contract's not re-signed. Right, this is my last season. And I'm out.

This guy's just like in. And now I'm gonna, I called a couple of people from your family going, I'm still in the team and I'm gonna work my way back in. Whoa, that analogy. You were never ousted. Yes, I'm out. You were invited to this thing.

Last season, dude. Last season of the team, dude. I'm the old guy. Can I just say that not only was he invited to this thing, but he refuses to meet my new guy and like, and- Or why I met him. You didn't. You didn't, you patted him on the back in the dark

and then ran away. This is how I met this guy. And look at how great this, the way I met this new guy. I invite him to, well, I didn't invite, you invite him to, we were in Hawaii and I did a show with Cigurra. 8,000 seats. Right, I could bring them to this. I go up, crush.

Crush, he thought you were incredible. I snuck out, right, I went into the stadium. And I sat right behind him in a stadium. After I crushed, I pat him in the right shoulder, he looks up to me and I went, like that. What does that mean when I do that? I don't even know.

Yeah, yeah, listen, I pat, I go. Oh, I see you. No, that's good. I see you. Yeah, that's good, that's good. Very good, but it's even more, there's more meaning behind that look. The deeper meaning.

Yeah, so tap, tap. I'll let you talk now. What do you think that means? Tap, tap, tap. That's you looking at him or him looking at you? Just track the story, man. Track the story, man. Track the story.

How can you tap behind him? So he would be like, what are you talking about? Jaime, track the story, dude. I am, but. You've never read a book. What does books have to do with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know how I am. You've never read a book. What does books have to do with it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know how to tell stories

when you're in a book. So, yeah, so I'm tapping him, man. And you're smiling at him. Yeah, man. Okay. You think I tapped him and he smiled forward? I tapped anyway. What are you talking about?

Do you know what we're talking about, man? I'm a new guy. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. All right, so I tap. What does that mean? You're dead. Whoa.

Is that correct? You're right. That's a little bit part of it, too. He'll eventually die. We're all human beings. Yeah. Alex, am I not right? Klyla, how did you read,

how would you interpret Bobby's eyes as knowing him the most out of all of us? Honestly, it wasn't even a tap. He is so exaggerating. He like went in there terrified. He went like in and out six times. He's like, I don't want to do it. I'm scared.

I don't want to do it. I'm nervous. Oh my God. Let her finish. Oh my God. You're so mad. Klyla, continue. And you're like, no don't want to do it. I'm scared. I don't want to do it. I'm nervous. Oh my God. Oh my God. So mad. And you're like, no, no, no. Like I feel jealous.

And you went in and out like five times and I was like, Bobby, just go in there and like, say hi. And you're like, okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Okay. And so he finally did it. Yeah. And that's not the read that I got.

I just thought that you weren't ready. And that's fine. I'm always ready, baby Is that anyway? Let me just say let's you texted me at 430 in the morning with a zoomed-in screenshot of the family photo With a message underneath that said I see everything which is true I see it all I haven't been keeping this a secret from you Yeah, you're in Austin zooming in for something other than boobs on Instagram, come on man. At 4.30 in the morning. Damn Bobby.

Hermit, you don't even know what he just said. Yeah. Okay. After our heart to heart last night, I think that we're making progress. Yeah, it's very good. And I think you'll come around. I don't think so.

I believe in you. It may be. We'll see. We'll see. Here's- What is your resistance? Resistance? What do you mean?

To like seeing me happy. Oh my God, is he here? Yes. Bill! Hey! We're going, we're going. All right. Hey! We're going, we're going. All right. Hey!

Hey! We're always going, what is that? Greek coffee? What the fuck's wrong with you? It's a to-go coffee. All right, sorry, my bad. It's packed up right away. I don't like Greek coffee, man.

Oh, Greek coffee, I didn't know that you don't keep drinking it. I did a gig in Athens. Oh, you did? I didn't know that you don't keep drinking it. I did a gig in Athens. I didn't know that you keep... You keep doing it going. Yeah, I kept going and I was like chewing the coffee going, man, these people are hardcore. And the guy's going like, dude, you don't drink all of that.

Some people say that it's Turkish coffee. There's a big debate over there. Ooh. Yeah. I've had Turkish coffee over there. Not in Greece, but in that area of the land. Hey, man, you don't have to get into the details. It's a thick potent coffee. Is this your son? No. I didn't know. He's a guy that does it sometimes with us. Oh, okay.

He's like a talk about it. I was thinking early in your career, comedy club waitress. Yeah, yeah. No, his name is Jaime. You don't have to meet him. But anyway. I was thinking early in your career, comedy called Waitress. Oh, you think so? Yeah, yeah. No, his name is Jaime. You don't have to meet him. But anyway. I was gonna say to you, what's up man, nice to meet you.

Can I talk? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, how you doing? Hi, Jaime. What? Wow, that's weird, dude. I know, it came off confident.

In a few words. Yeah, so just back up a bit. Oh, back up a little bit. And then let me introduce, and then we'll get into it, okay? Number one, this is the third time he's been on our podcast, very proud. I love him so much.

The recent encounters were we did a panel for a movie that we did, and then he started- Drugstore June. That's what you say. It's a great movie. We then he started. Drugstore June. That's what you say. It's a great movie. We're in a drugstore June. Yes. I'm helping you with the.

I just realized your bare feet touched my. Oh, so. I forgot I was. No, it's all right. No, you're Asian. You guys are barefoot. Well, it's my house. I can take my shoes off.

But anyway. Did I insult you by wearing sneakers in here? Did I lose face? This is my garage. I didn't lose face? No, you didn't, no, no. You didn't bow, that's the problem. Yeah, I like bows, but it's okay. I didn't think I had to

because the table was white guy height. Oh, I see. If you had the lower ones, you were in here, you know, in your. Have you been to Asia? Yes. Okay, Let's move on. Don't fucking talk to me like I went there and didn't learn anything. That's how you just said that. Have you been to Asia?

What part? What part of Asia did you go to? I'm sorry. I mean, I want that right there for something in my life. What part? What? Yeah. Yeah for something in my life. What part what? Yeah, I mean I was if you went to like, you know me Cambodia. It's different than you know, Laos. It's different than is it Very good when you travel a country's different. I Went to Singapore. Okay, I went to Hong Kong and I went to Mumbai Indians The only time I went to that part of the world and I had a great time. Despite the fact that a lot of people reminded me of you,

other than that. You never went to... I never went, where? Tokyo. I haven't been there yet. Okay, that's unbelievable to me. It's actually insane. What, do they got a funny bone there or something?

How would I end up over there? There's a hyena's there, okay? But, no, I can't believe it, and then you never just saw... Okay, am I even not correct? I told you where I went. Oh, okay, oh my God, dude. Anyway... You're going to name all the countries? Beijing! You've never been there!

I mean, if you're going to go to Beijing, Mongolia is right up there! I mean, you know, the whole purpose of the world! I'm sorry, dude, Iolia is right up there. I mean, you know the whole purpose of the world Sorry, dude. I was just you know trying to you know get the fuck. You always think I don't like you and then I'm kind Oh my god, I fucking love you so much. I know talking about I never think I never even behave that way Bobby This is our love language. This is the way I talk normally All right. Anyway, so we were at the panel for the drug store June, and you know, people were asking, and then you were very combative during it.

I was called me a m****, I don't know if you were gonna say that, but you were saying that. I didn't call you a m****. You said I was small though. No, I didn't. What happened was, is everybody else started making fun of you for not knowing your lines on the movie. Those panel things are inherently dry.

So I just jumped on it. Yeah, you went with it. You were the perfect heel. You loved the attention. And now you're going to play the victim. That's what I do, dude. You had a great time. There was nothing hostile about it. And the movie is doing fantastic. And you killed it. Okay, thank you so much. Let's clap for that then. Yeah, you killed it. Hello! So anyway, Bill Burr, everyone, he needs no introduction.

So another round of applause. Everybody is our guest for the third time. What a beautiful, beautiful thing, right? And I just want to also say this, okay? Just feels like a caveat. You're a great guy. I just want to say this okay because just feels like a caveat Robin Hood yeah do you know that even if you have a 401k for retirement you can still have an IRA Robin Hood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood Gold.

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and college basketball entries today on PricePicks, America's number one fantasy sports app. What I love about PricePicks is that it's really simple to play, and Bobby, remember like I showed you? Like you don't really need to be like a sports fanatic. I know I do PricePick, what are you talking about? I know, so it's like they basically, you can choose two players or three players.

I know, oh you're telling everybody, you're telling people. But like you can choose whether or not they're gonna score higher or lower. Yeah, yeah. Than the predicted. This week I'm selecting Kevin Durant for more than 28 points and Trey Young for more than 10 assists. I think he's gonna get more than 10.

Usually he gets more than 10 I think, Trey. What about Caitlin Clark, she's such a star. What do you think, for more get more than 10. Usually he gets more than 10, I think, Trey. What about Caitlin Clark? She's such a star. What do you think, for more or less than 30 points? 12. 12 points, so less than LeBron. But LeBron will get more than seven assists. If he's not greedy.

Download the app today and use code belly for first deposit, match up to $100. Download the app today and use code belly for a first deposit match up to $100. Download the app today and use code belly for a first deposit match up to $100. Price bakes, pick more, pick less, it's that easy. Oh no, you watch what I'm about to say and it's gonna fucking probably blow your heart apart. You're gonna be like, oh, man, that was nice.

So are you ready? Oh, you kind of ruined the ending, but go ahead. Oh, that was a big chug. That was impressive. Yeah. So may I? What I was gonna say is that, so last year, you know, I'll have to be honest,

I was going through a very hard time in my life and I got a call from this man, Bill Burr, and he goes, I'm doing a short and I want you in it. And you know, I go, really? And he goes, really? So I went and I'm gonna say, I've worked with a lot of directors in my lifetime and I just thought that you were,

I told everyone after the show, I was like, dude, that guy's a great director. Your notes are so precise, you're fun to work with, you're a great director, it was a good time. And what's it called again, so people can look it on YouTube? It's called Soda. Soda. And it's a movie trailer for the upcoming Club Soda.

Is it gonna happen? In the old days, you know, we'll see what happens. I was something that, you know, I used to, with my tour manager, we would joke around and I would do like this gumshoe narrative of him coming to town. There it is. Yes, we shot this whole thing about like, it's sort of like an 80s style Clint Eastwood cop, but that's in now, but he doesn't recognize anything. So you came in and you were like the perfect guy.

He plays Bobby Ree. That's the name of his character. And that's his real name, but all the white people don't know if his name is Lee, and he's trying to say it, but he's saying Ree, so they don't know what to do. Everybody's like, is it Lee, is it Ree? Like, what is it? And what's funny is your vanity plate says B Ree on it. But you know, we don't pay attention to clues, right?

Yes, we just sort of just, but this guy just absolutely just killed it. Like, um. Dude, the gun scene that night, it was like, I've never been on a shoot like that where I'm like, oh, I'm in a fucking Michael Mann movie. Like it was that cool. I'm so glad you said that,

cause that like it's Michael Mann, it's the fake movie trailer. So that's the Tarantino grindhouse thing yeah, it's nothing original in this and You know, he's like the whole guy, you know unexamined he just lives in his own world Kenny's backstory is that he moved out to Hollywood in the 70s or the 80s to meet and marry Annette Fonicello He had an obsession with her. She was in the Mickey Mouse Club and he never met her.

Nor did he. That's why he's singing Beach Blanket Bingo and all of that. And so here's where Bobby comes in. We don't need to go through that. We don't have to go through that. But Kenny though, is somebody that I met. I mean, come on, look at that. Look at that.

So what's great is, is he's a bad guy and his front where he washes his money is VCR repair, which nobody has that. And he's got all this drip, as the kids say. But Kenny's such an old guy, he actually has a VCR that needs to be repaired. So you get a customer for the first time ever and you come walking in. So, and that's when he gets on the scent

and he's just a good cop. So he won and that's that's when he gets on the scent and he's just a he's a good cop. So he won't get off the scent despite the fact that you're getting hoarse for the mayor. I mean, it's one of the oldest stories in Hollywood. It really is. And he's trying to prevent a super gonorrhea pandemic because the Olympics are coming. I mean, paid by numbers. Yeah, paid by numbers. I mean, it's a fucking fantastic idea for a movie. And we're going to make it. And dude, you fucking crushed. Oh, thank you. And I remember afterwards, you're like, don't replace me. You named like all the other Asian guys. It's like, I'm not. Well, I've been in this town before and that's what happens. You do a little

short for somebody. Rank your biggest fear of who would replace you. Well, knowing, I, I, I, I, I don't, okay, can I just say this? Kim Jong-il. Not Kim Jong-il, man. He's not, I beat him up. He loves movies. I know. He's dead. Un is alive.

Oh, Kim Jong-un. Un, right. No, Il's dead. Oh, shit. He respects dead. I like how you guys do it. We just add numbers. You guys just add a little two-letter thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um. That's true, I never thought that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um. That's true, I never thought that. Yeah, Louis XIII, Louis XIV, you like Kim Jong Il? I'd be Kim Jong-Bai, I don't know why, but I just feel like I would be that. Well, we know why. Why, because I go both ways?

Yeah. I don't. And don't ever spread that on the internet again. I don't, you do. Anyway, can we go back to Kenny, okay? I was about to say something. Shut the fuck up. So, Kenny, I met way-

You look like a guy that was so shady he had to move to Key West. I do? Right now? Yeah, you go like, hey man, where you from? You're like, hey, I know, I lived in a lot of places. Right now I do, because of my energy? No, the whole outfit.

Oh yeah, sorry. Can I move on? Like if I was doing something like underhanded, I'd be like, you know, this is a guy, I bet this guy knows some people. You look the same through three years. You don't change your style, it's the same fucking thing, you know?

Same fucking what? I mean, I don't really care. I can't really do anything about it. You can do sides like Ron Howard, don't lie. Oh yeah, anybody can do sides. Why don't you do that look every once in a while? I do, I've done it in movies. If you followed my career and you haven't heard.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, look at that head I have. Oh wow. Look at those oversized shirts from the 90s. I mean, that's like big enough for me now. Anyway, can we go back? Oh. Anyway, can we go?

Can we go back to Kenny? So I met Kenny. I'm we go back to Kenny? So I met Kenny. I'm going to go back to that shirt. That was my I am on TV and I. Well, were you nervous there or no? Yeah, no, I'm not once I got out there, it was just beforehand. But do you remember how I used to get so nervous before a TV show? I don't need to watch it. God damn it.

I look like you know, it's funny. I look like I'm 18 years old. I was like fucking 33. Yeah. Well, yeah, ginger, you know what's funny? I look like I'm 18 years old there. I was like fucking 33. Yeah, gingers don't have an adult face until like our 50s. Yeah, Koreans too. Huh? Well, there you go. Maybe that's why we get along.

We get along so good. But is it like a Korean? When he gets in his 60s, his mustache connects with that shit on his chin. Wait, but does it, like, you know how Asians, it just happens overnight and you like wake up and you're like, oh shit, it's not a gradual agent. It's like an overnight agent.

Does that happen with- Is that why you guys broke up? You broke up one day. I woke up one day. Oh, you thought the change was gonna happen? I know, that's what he told me last week. He's like, you're still really pretty, but like really old.

As I'm like, oh. Why would you say no, you're gorgeous. Thank you, though. Yeah, why would you do that? I don't know. And you have non-traditional good looks. Have you seen that? That seems not good. That's what they're gonna attack. That's what,

that's what they say with that. That basically means if you weren't famous, you'd be ugly. I don't say that. But like that's what I've gotten. If you,'ve gotten if you're not non-traditional good this is not something you would normally consider to be attractive yeah yeah but do you believe that if you weren't a comet you still get laid you think yeah okay I don't think I would have like if I was what do you keep doing your act off stage you think that you do you know what's the deal with titties? All right, I'm on second base.

Go back to Kenny, let's go back to Kenny, all right? I don't like the area we're going into, okay? So I met Kenny years ago because he didn't. Listen, stop acting like you're this guy that doesn't go out and get some, okay? We all know that you do. Yeah. Yeah, you do.

No, you were saying because I'm a comic and because I am who I am, I get it. No, you're not. But if I wasn't a standup and I was working at fucking Home Depot carrying boxes, I don't think, no offense, if that's your job, that's a great job. Yeah, but there would be a woman in your department that's doing the same job and she'd think

you were soulmates and she'd think she could actually build a future with you before she got to know you. But in the meantime, you'd be laying the lumber. You give her the old two by four there, Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So can we have a go to Kenny? So Kenny used to do, he's been around

because back when I played the Bellagio, when I opened for Dice in 2000, 1999 or whatever, I met Kenny then. Oh, yeah, he's the last. And then you hired me for this thing, I hadn't seen him since then. Oh, really? Yeah, so it was like a reunion on my own.

It was really cool. Hello, Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, oh my, and when you said Kenny, I didn't even put two and two together until I was on set. Yeah, we shot this thing during the strike, and I just, no, I put up my own money for it. I just went like, I just went all out like,

well, I'm never gonna have like this amount of downtime. Let's just go ahead and make this thing. And I was psyched when you showed up. You were like, I thought this was gonna be some bullshit. This is like a real set. We like went down the streets, had a fog machine, the whole thing. I think you were offended by that.

Cause I told Michael. I wasn't offended. I just said, I literally just said I was psyched. No, can I tell you why though? Because at the night shoot. I have an option? At the night shoot, right? You turn to me and you go well you thought this was gonna be a rinky-dink operation? It's just me fucking with you. Oh, that's right. Okay. So anyway, it was like a fucking What are you guys talking about when I'm talking? No, zins. I love them. No, I don't with you. Oh, that's right, okay. So anyway, it was like a fucking, what are you guys talking about, dude, when I'm talking? No, zins.

I love them. No, I don't want any. But it was like doing a real, like a hot, it was like a movie production, but in my mind- It was that early, you said you felt like you were in a Michael Man movie. Yeah, that's what I thought, right.

That's what we were going for. But in my mind, I was like, oh, for some reason when people say short, I think three dudes, iPhone, no matter who it is. You know what I mean? And to show up on set, right? And to see the production, right? It was incredible.

It was incredible. Anyway, go check it out on YouTube. So, and then also check out, Drugstore Junis out now, downloading. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It out on YouTube. So, and then also check out Drugstore Judas out now, if downloading. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got Old Dads on Netflix. Oh, that's great. I watched it.

Did you really? I loved it, yeah. Oh, thank you. And then, yeah, Natasha's in there as well. Yes. In Old Dads. Yes. May Craig's in there.

I got a lot of comedians in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't get you in there. It's fine. You got me in the, no, I don't, listen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get you in there. It's fine. You got me in the, no, I don't, listen. Look, every once in a while, every once in a while you wanna do an Asian free project.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So who do I believe that he would hire when he does the Kenny Soda movie? Well, who's the one person that would hurt you the most? I honestly believe, and I truly believe this from the deepest portions of my heart, that he wouldn't. He's the only guy that wouldn't. I don't think he would crumble if a network or a studio went,

you know what, I think we should have so and so in this instead of Bobby. I think you would. Bobby, I would replace you in a heartbeat. It meant the project was gonna go away and move forward. Oh, yeah, that was on the line. I'm kidding no no I wouldn't. Yeah yeah. No look at the shit that I do is so low budget nobody gives a fuck. They're just like I don't know who that is he must be cheap fantastic. Yeah. Cast away. Yeah but

you would if it was a real high-end movie too I think that you would stick to your guns. Steven Yeun. No I would. Oh yeah Oh yeah, I would even push him. Don't cast. No, I would go, Bill, I think you should do Steven Yeun. Benedict Wong. Yeah, Benedict, yes. Yes. Yeah, but give me some more names.

Ronnie Chang. I'd have an argument. Interesting. Jimmy O-Yang? What do you mean you have an argument? You mean you would argue that? If you told me Benedict Wong got your part, I'd be like, oh, that's a given. I would already assume that. What do you mean you have an argument? You mean you would argue that? If you told me Benedict Wong got your part,

I'd be like, oh, that's a given. I would already assume that. I would be OK with it. Stephen, you and I would be OK with it. But then once you get into stand-ups, I would then go call and go, well, dude, that's fucked up. Is that you guys like Irish people, huh? Asians?

Yeah, they are. On to it? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. I hang out on to shit for years. Asian people, huh? Asian people. Yeah, they are. On to it? Oh yeah, yeah. That's interesting. I hang out on to shit for years. Like for instance, and Howie Mandel yelled at me. Howie Mandel yelled at me.

For instance, right? Just picture her picture names and you're not even looking at her? And you go, Oh, is that what it is? That would be a problem. Because I don't, you know, so, you know Montreal Comedy Festival

for 20 years never invited me. And so then after 20 years of not being invited to the Montreal Comedy Festival, I just went, oh, you know what, I'm never going now. Fuck them, right? And so they would ask me, you know, they started to ask me, I was like, I can say no every year.

And then one day, how we had something to do. That's how this business works. What? They literally, they sense it. The second you're like, you know what, fuck that. I don't need that shit. They're like, you know what, we've always loved you. I know, right?

Why is that? I've been asking you to love me for 20 years and now the second I walk away, you're gonna do this? Yeah, and so Howie, I think, bought into, I don't know, he was a partner or something, and I said, I'm not going, and he pulled me aside and said, you never make decisions in this business based on resentment.

And then I said, okay, I'll do it. Bill, do you hang onto things? That's some good advice. I used to, I don't anymore, but I still work at it. I definitely work at like, you know, just stupid bullshit. Like, you know, I definitely do all the hacky stuff. I just, anybody that I had beef with, I just root for them. I get them out of my life and then I just root for them.

How do you get to that point of rooting for them though? Like genuinely? You just say I'm good, cause it's life flies by. And I just don't have, I don't have have I just don't have time to fucking resent somebody It just it's a time suck it just really you know and uh You know, whatever and if they're still talking about you then it's just that you feel bad for them Yeah, like oh that's that's you know I hope they get past that. Stupid.

So, and then most of this shit is just, it is just business stuff at this point. Um, cause if it's, if it's an actual, if it's a friendship or if it's, uh, you know, family stuff, I work that out. But if it's just like business things, you know, it's always like somebody eventually seems to end up feeling a certain way. But like I always, you know, I'm pretty good about that stuff. If like business stuff goes in a different direction, I always try, I try my best to be like, Hey, when I see it, the club or, you know, if it's an industry person, I don't want this to be awkward, man. This is just like, but I don't know. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn't. Yeah, I hold onto it.

Yeah, I can't, I don't know why I just do it. That's something you do in your 20s, and then in your 30s, you start to realize like how bad it is, but you don't know how to get out of it, and hopefully you figure it out in your 40s. That's what happened to me. But Bill, my thing isn't like, if I'm at a party, and I see that person that I have a beat,

or like inside, he hurt me, I'm still nice. You nice you know I mean it's just something that's in my heart but do you like that tension that awkwardness does it look they don't have they have no idea I hugged them I go oh I'm so proud of you that thing you did was so good I never saw it but you know I mean but. I'm proud of you, it's so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. I go into the accent. Well, hey man, I feel proud of you, man.

I feel good. Start doing that. I'll do that maybe. Start doing that. I'm gonna start doing that just to fuck with you. What, what? And so that you are great. I'm fucking Irish.

You're like, oh no. That's why I think it's more Scottish, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. But yeah, I should let it go because I think it just, you know, it does fuck with my life. I just slay their advantage, like thinking about people, I hate it.

Because they don't think about it, it's wasted energy and time. I think I'm getting better at it. Do you think I'm getting better at it? Yeah. I think I'm getting better at it, yeah. I'm 52. Am I older or younger than you? Younger, I'm getting better at it. Do you think I'm getting better at it? Yeah. I think I'm getting better at it. Yeah, I'm 52. Am I older or younger than you?

Younger, I'm 55. Wow. Yeah. My God. Wrapping it up over here. There you are. Are you gonna do more directing now or no? Yeah, I'm just, all I do is just shit that's fun.

If it's fun, then I'm having a good time and then it kind of comes across. Like that soda thing was just a fun thing. I'm going to do that. And but you took that old dad's too, right? Yes, I did not because I wanted to was just that we were coming out of the pandemic and all the directors were tied up with stuff that they should have shot. And then they always have I guess they have their next project. So there was nobody available. So they hit me with that, you know, if you don't direct it, it's gonna go away. And I of course said yes, because I didn't want to go away having no idea what that job entailed, which still I mean, I, you know,

do storyboard it. I don't remember. Like, I don't remember that whole fucking year. Wow. I'm a 2022. I don't remember that whole fucking year. I remember 2022, I don't remember that year. I just remember we, just, I have little sketch, like scenes. In your mind. Like we're in the office, where there's a casting board, we're trying to put pictures next to it.

Now we're shooting. Wow. Somebody tested positive for COVID, can they direct this or do whatever they're doing from their car? We wrapped. I'm in an edit room. I'm in an edit room.

That was a thing. It was this groundhog day for the rest of the year. Then we finished it in December. And I probably said like 40,000 times that year that I'm never doing this again. I enjoyed doing it with you because I wasn't in it. Yeah. I couldn't fit like two seconds.

But like then it was, I was having a, I had a blast doing the one that we did. It was also only a four day shoot, but like I have a good time like, you know, directing it. The editing taps into my ADD and shit, but fortunately through Old Dads, I got my editor who understands, you know, and is like, he's hilarious and he has great ideas. Like a lot of those editor guys, they're like, you know,

they're in here and introverted and that type of stuff. He's a lot of those guys make the movie though. I mean, a lot of times movies don't work and they can fix it and make Patrick Don Vito. That's my guy. Wow. That's my guy. And he's fucking hilarious. And he has great ideas. And there was a lot of solves in old dads that he came up with because we only shot, you know, for 20 something days. 20. Oh my God.

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and sometimes it's the music, sometimes it's slow motion, sometimes whatever he and he was just a master at that. But were there any times you were like, I didn't get that shot. I didn't get it to that point. Oh, I wouldn't get that shot. I didn't get it to that point. Oh, okay. I wouldn't go falsetto. Oh no, but I would be like, I'd be like, this stupid ass fucking business, there's not enough money, there's not enough time, do it.

That's what they, that's what they get, I feel like they get off on that. And I learned that through watching the Food Network, where they don't give them enough time or ingredients, and then they just sit there judging them. My wife and kids, they do that to kids. They have like a kids cooking show. They do, yeah.

And they just put these kids on this fight. Cooking a meal for somebody is one of the nicest, most loving things you can do, and then they just see like, and then capitalism comes in. Let's turn it into a show. Like there needs to be somehow some sort of tension and suffering to make people continue to watch it. So I fucking hate that show.

Why do you watch it then? Cause my family watches it. So I'm just sitting there. They taste it, it'd be like, you know, you did a good job, but I felt like the strawberries kind of overpowered the parfait and you just see some eight year olds bottom lip start quivering. It's like, why would you, how could you continue with this? How is it? It's great.

But I feel like that's a lot of times with like American reality TV they'd need that tension versus a lot of Asian reality shows where they try to kill people. There's this one called Terrace House and nothing happens. Like it's sort of like the real world but in Japan. And nothing happens but it's very addicting. I don't think that tension necessarily makes for great television. I think if people just were allowed to be, that's enough. Slice of life is what I think.

Yeah. But I wouldn't absolve all of Asia. I've seen enough clips from their game shows. That is true. Right, some of the newer dating shows are definitely- There's a lot, there's a lot, every country, there's something going on under the surface regardless of like, look how clean the streets are

and everybody's polite. Yeah, yeah. You say that in Canada, right? And then what happens? Because Physical 100 is pretty intense. Have you seen that show? Physical 100, have either of you seen it? It's basically a bunch of Asian women and men,

like athletes, like Herculean, like Zeus types, and they just go at it. They wrestle and they do all of these competitions, like physical competitions, and it's pretty crazy. I've never seen it on like... But like physical competitions. And it's pretty crazy. I've never seen it on like. But Bill is right. Were you offended that she used white gods to describe those Asians?

Who's the Asian Zeus? Who is the Asian Zeus? All I know is Buddha. That's it. Are there Asian, Asian, what is? Look, this is physical 100. Oh, fuck this show. This is not for me. This guy's jack this show. I don't this is not for me

Yeah, yeah, it's not for me. I turn it off turn it off, but the women but the women compete again Yeah, yeah, that's so so so I fucking hate it man. We just completely turn it off. Thank you so much Why don't you like fit Asians? I don't like it, but um, why don't you like patients? Yeah, but back to Bill's point when I was in Thailand, I'm like, oh, this is a perfect society. But then I went and watched the Avengers and there was a montage of the king before the movie. And I just sat there and the guy, my friend goes, you got to stand up.

I go, why? Because they're allowed to kill you if you disrespect the king in In Thailand, so I stood up, you know what I mean? And then like, there's a, at a park, I heard music being played, and everyone freezes at 5 p.m., right? And then like, you have to freeze, because you- That's what's amazing, being in a country with like a dictator, it's not as bad as you think

it's gonna be, but every once in a while, it's like, dude, you better stand up, or they're gonna fucking light you on fire. All right, all right, and then other than that, it's like, dude, you better stand up or they're going to fucking light you on fire. And then other than that, it's, it's no difference. Yeah. Then here, like I've been to a few of these countries, which I want to go back. So I got to watch what I say. Cause I don't know if this applies to their laws.

Yeah. It's just like, yeah, this is fucking the same as America. And then there's these one little thing. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ooh, that's intense. And they should tell you that when you enter the country, they have nobody told me that.

Well, I thought that like, if you are under a dictatorship, that you just walk around miserable all the time and you're not allowed to do anything. And it's like, no, no, like, you know what you're allowed to do and that's what you do and you can't do this other stuff.

There, you know, and there is something about a dictatorship that is really efficient. You know, you just hope you get the right guy. If you get the wrong guy, you know, things go sideways. Yeah. But, you know. Like, we're Duterte from the Philippines. Duterte.

That guy, right? Yeah. Wild guy. He's wild. Wild guy, yeah. No form of government works because humans are inherently flawed. So, eventually, no matter what it is, like I feel like, you know, there's a rebellion

coming in this country from workers. Like they're taking too much. Like people, they just look at these daylight robberies as these standalone things, like, shit's getting crazy, thank you Joe Biden, or just because you're Trump or whatever. It's like, no dude, this is the guys behind them. They're taking too much and there's an imbalance.

You can feel, I think I feel that too. Yeah. There's something going on. Unions are gonna come back, because right now they're doing this fucking thing that they're basically gonna be like, you guys are all gonna work and we're not gonna pay you and there's only gonna be three options

and it's gonna be whatever we, you know, you know, a lot of the same shit that's going on in our business is going on in all of these businesses. And people only. Can take so much. They only take so much before that there'll be some sort of thing. But the genius though is the CNN Fox News,

which I am really starting to believe are owned by the same person. I think so too. And their job is just, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, get us doing that. I agree, I fully agree. 100%, yeah. There's a family or somebody behind it working it all.

I don't know what family it is, or a group of people. But you know what? It's perfect. We can't talk about stuff without yelling at each other, so then nothing's going to get done, and it's just, whatever. That's depressing. Let's talk about something else. So Jaime is a guy that he's from the great state of Texas. He was a little nervous, because you're coming in, Bill.

And he's really upset, because as of last week, Pornhub is now banned in Texas. Yeah, yeah, all across Texas. That's a good thing. To who? Oh. So, to you, and your fucking hands. And your life, you're gonna have to get out there, you're gonna have hands and your life.

You're going to have to get out there. You're going to have to talk to somebody. No, I don't want to do that. Yeah. Why? What happened? It's boring outside. What? Like being inside, you know? Yeah. Tell me about the excitement of being inside.

TV, my Xbox, you know, Pornhub. It was the last week. Do you think the Xbox is like the trees of your generation? Like going out into nature? Yes. Pornhub. It was the last. Do you think the Xbox is like the trees of your generation? Like going out into nature? Yes. Like Joshua tree to you is going into Best Buy and getting the Xbox. Getting the Xbox. Yeah, I think so. Do you ever take mushrooms and go into Best Buy and have like a trip and learn about yourself? No. Yeah.

Yeah. Go ahead. Jaime, just stand up now. I do stand up in Texas. Yeah, I didn't pick up on the awkwardness. Jaime, step it up, step it up. I don't know. Bill Burr, we have Bill Burr in the building. Ask the question, not the intro. Any questions?

Don't listen to these. Do you still make pies? Yes, I do. What's the pie thing? He makes pies. Have we talked about that? What kind of pies? Apple pies? Whatever kind you want, fucking disgruntled.

You make pies? I bake. I bake, I bake, I cook. I grill. I like that shit. That's what I used to watch the Food Network and they taught you how to cook. And now they're just yelling at people that they don't have enough ingredients at times. Do you watch the Great British Break Off? That's our favorite show. My show was Multimario.

And then it got canceled. Molto Mario was the shit. I mean, I don't know what he was doing off screen, right? But I'm not going to get involved in this ginger on ginger shit, all right? No, he used to just like, he would make, he was like, he came over his house. He would make you this great Italian meal.

He would talk about what part of Italy it came from. Yeah. And you really saw why Italians are the greatest cooks in the world, because there was always like a section of town or whatever province right next to it that would be upset being like, that's not how you make a pizza, that's not how you do it. They all had their own recipes. Wow.

And they would be arguing about like, you know, who makes the best one. And like the times I go to Italy, it's just, you just, that's why I want to go to Japan, because I feel like Japan are the Italians of as far as cuisine goes. They're the white people of Europe. Let's not, I mean of Asia. They definitely think that they're the best, you know, as I do, as I look down at you.

Uh. Well yeah, I mean. Japanese food is incredible. I think it at you. Uh. Well yeah, I mean. Japanese food is incredible. I think it's incredible, yeah. Because Korean food is pretty basic. It's not. It's just if it's. Yeah, but yeah, but it's like.

You just have to know where to go. Yeah, yeah. But it's a lot of meat in Korea for some reason. It's a lot of galbi, bulgogi, and you know what I mean, grilling. That's because that's all you eat. You don't go to the spots like Gilbert and I go to with like. Oh fuck it.

What are you talking about? What like Chosun, is that the spot? What spot do you go to that's like deep cut? Where I'm like ooh la la, this is something I've never had before. You didn't mention soups, a lot of deep soups. Yeah, a lot of stews. Oh yeah, I'm just trying to back up with Bill's point

that Japan's great. I know but you're shitting. I'm not saying they're great, I'm just saying that they have great coffee, I heard, and I'm going to get over to there. Why pies, Bill? What was, when did you decide? Oh, because that was a big thing in my house growing up, and once I moved away, the holidays would come and go, and I didn't get them, so my mother wrote out all the recipes, because

she's a saint, and I was like, I'm going to learn how to make these and I'll make them for my family someday because I didn't have a family now I have a family and they're all like, you know, just have a little three year old boy go, I want women poppy seed. I want women, Dada, you make women poppy seed. You're fucking goddamn right.

I'm gonna. Wow. How do you say more than that? Oh, your kid loves your pies then? No, they like, oh, that's sugar. They love all that stuff. But I also, like, I make them breakfast every morning and they have their favorites.

But if I was at a taste testing event, right, and they had all the bakers and I tasted yours, would I be able to go, they're all the same, or would I go, oh, Bill made this? No, you would know that mine is, that's one of my things I don't understand is restaurants. You can't mass produce pies. Cakes, they're not that bad with,

but like there's something about a pie, they just suck. Same thing with like shepherd's pie and all of that stuff from all of those ones, all those meat pies that you get over there in Great Britain, Ireland, and all of that. If you go to the mainstream ones, they always, they just have a crust on top. Right.

And it's just shit in the thing. And it's just, there's no, they don't care. It's just classic top right and it's just shit in the thing and it's just there's no they don't care It's just classic corporate shit Where it's just like what if we didn't have it on the bottom like the amount of flour that we would say Wow You know like it just I fucking hate people that live their life that way But that just count every goddamn fucking nickel rather than just knowing if you treat people great. They're gonna come back Tenfold they just they just never look at it that way. They're always like, wait, wait, I feel like the younger generation doesn't understand meat pies. Right, Bobby? What do

you mean? Like, you know, I understand it. I know you do. It's your favorite thing on her. I love the meat pie. Over the pandemic, our whole freezer was just meat pies. I still have them. I will. I pan bury. I've been ordering them online, our whole freezer was just meat pies. I still have them. I read at Panberry. I've been ordering them online. I mean, on Goldbelly. Goldbelly. And they've been delivered. I love them.

I mean, it's basically on a rainy day. Shepherd's pie is just, it's incredible. Or chicken pot or any mushroom. Chicken pot pie is incredible. What's that Asian soup everybody goes to get, but the lines are too long, so you just say fuck it. Ramen? Ramen.

Ramen. What do you mean? Dude, ramen is just like, I love it, but you gotta go there on a 100 degree day on a Tuesday to actually get it within fucking 10 minutes, but all on a rainy day. Have you ever had Sukumon ramen? I have not.

Okay, Sukumon ramen. Sukumon. Sukumon Ramen. I have not. Okay, Sukumon Ramen. Sukumon. Sukumon, sorry. Sukumon Ramen is the same ramen noodles, but it's not in a soup base. You're just funny to me. What do you mean? It's the same and you just go like this,

you just go, ramen noodles, I don't know why. Okay, ramen noodles. What do you mean? you ramen? I'm so self-conscious now. Let me start that over again, right? Have you had Superman ramen? Let's do it over again. Have you had it? I just realized you're dressed like Tom Selleck That's what you do do, you know, it's what you do, Dan. You know, it's very, very unnerving. May I start over? Why?

There's nothing malicious about it. There's always a joy when I see you. What a joy. Anyway, it really is because it's like, he's, you know, I don't want to start a fight with him, but I'll just. Just say it, I won't say it. All right, so.

You get a pass. People are intimidated, some people are intimidated by you because of the way you are on stage. You know what I mean, you're like, the way you talk, East Coasty, you know what I mean, you complain a lot. Why is this not happening? You know, and all that stuff. And why, I don't like this.

I don't like this. Why is this happening? Oh my God, he's so intimidating. Hey, society, you know what I mean? And all that stuff. And I'm always like, yeah, that's not what he's like. But yeah, I wouldn't want to be around him because he's going to be like, oh, you don't know what you're talking about, about these rules. Why do we even have to break them?

I don't know what it is. But my point is, is I go, that's not what he's like. So when I see you, what's the matter? So so when I but I tell people and I go when go ahead oh hi man has been working on his bill bear impression too I will get to that in a second okay all right we'll get this my point is is that but when you actually know Bill he's the opposite he's just a sweet guy soft softy and also another thing the other day I also I saw, we were at a party or something, I don't wanna say whose name,

but you were with your family and I looked, I kinda peeked around in the room because you were with your kids and stuff and your wife and just what a great dad you are. Oh thank you. Yeah, yeah. Testing my short term memory, where was I with my family? Don't tell me.

Yeah. All right, I'll think about that later. Where would I see you with your family? It was at night. Ramen noodles. No, not ramen noodles. No ramen noodles. Oh, back to Sukumon.

Sukumon. Yeah. Anyway, so Sukumon ramen is regular ramen, right? But it's not in a broth. The broth is off to the side. And the side broth is kind of thicker and more flavorful. And you take the noodle and you dunk it in the sauce. And it is far better than ramen.

It's fucking amazing. Have you ever had Sukumon? Anybody in the room? No one? You have, yeah, you have, yeah. It's the best. And then when I go to a ramen place. No, I just like that, yes, of course,

it was a little self-serving. And they're like, yes, of course. I live, I just like that. Yes, of course it was a little self-serving. Yes, of course. I live, I am in the. But then when I go to a place, a ramen place, and I go, do you have Sukkomen? And they go, no. I go, this can't be a good place. No, but just some places, like even the same restaurant

have their own Sukkomen branch. Right, like Sujita. Sujita say for instance, not all of their locations have the Sukhumian, but if you know better, you know which one has the Sukhumian. You're right, I think you're right. It's like 7-Eleven, not every one of them has the Slurpee machine.

All of them do. They do? Yes. Every single 7-Eleven has a Slurpee machine. That's insane that you would even say something like that. All right, Ken, is it too late to take it back? No, we may cut that part out. But I don't know.

Bobby Lee's most controversial podcast yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Jaime, do the impression? Do you mind? No, I don't mind. I minded that. That's what I minded I mind and is it wait is it a Hispanic version of it or no? No, it's just okay his impression. Okay. Go ahead. It's from his stand-up. Okay. Hey, it's me fucking bill

Bird fucking kids fucking wives See that's it These fucking cell phones and shit He's got the cadence. I didn't say it was the best one. Can you see me blushing? I'm so sorry Bill. I never saw it before. I got a hint of it, Hymen. Close your eyes. Do you know who he's talking?

Yeah. Actually I do. In appellate, but go ahead, do it again. Go fuck yourself. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. In appall Go fuck yourself Unbelievable Unbelievable I have to ask you Bill also Cause I haven't talked to you about it When you played Fenway

That was a really good Is that Fenway? Fenway? I love how you held that When you play Fenway Because Fenway? You said it. No, I just, I love how you held that. When you play Fenway, because it's your hometown, because me and Andrew played, not Fenway, but we played a theater attached to it or whatever, and then they go, well, Bill played this whole thing, right? And I looked, we were actually in the bleachers

during the day, we saw the whole, feel beautiful fucking grounds. And then in my mind I was just like, oh fuck, you sold out the whole thing. And it's your hometown. Do you get nervous? Let that jet go by. Yeah, that was something. That was an incredible achievement. I just blocked it out and just pretended like it wasn't happening. And then I just kind of went up and did it. And it took about 15 minutes before I realized that the technology that they have now with the screens and the sound, it just turned it into like,

that was like a comedy club. I will tell you what I was thinking of was Led Zeppelin has a song called The Ocean. And what they were referring to was when they would play in front of these giant crowds, the applause would sound like an ocean after a while. And like, that's what that felt like. Look at that.

That was fucking- It's insane. It was, yeah, it was insane. And they went all the way up to the top and I was, I just kept looking at that sign above home plate where it said Fenway Park. There was so many like nerve wracking things leading up to that, like throwing out the first pitch,

just doing stuff like that and like, I just would be like, hey, I'm a comedian. Like if I miss, it's funny, it's on brand, who cares? But no, it was an amazing thing. What was cool was like the week leading up to it, you know, I always walk around when I'm in Boston, just visiting old places and I love walking down the street, you know, and down around Emerson College and shit

where I used to go to school. And I ran into a bunch of people, I say, hey man, good luck, good luck this weekend, Bob Blass. So I felt like they were rooting for me and everything. And yeah, it was, yeah. It was, yeah, it was one of those things where like this is too fucking big this is too big and then you do it yeah great and yeah I remember Tony V opened up for me and in the end we was

smoking cigars watching everybody walking out and everybody was waving and it was like you know I felt it go dude, you know, we should just retire right now. You just like you can't I don't think I mean How can you top that? Um, yeah. Well, I was joking with him recently how I topped it was a year later I worked with Tony V and and I'm not gonna say where but it was a tent in the middle of a field and we announced Wrestling at a cigar smoking event. And I was like, I think we did it. The crowd was hilarious. We were making all these short jokes

and then people would yell out, that's not even the half of it. Like, just these dumb things. I was just like, that's a good joke. Like, I think me and Tony enjoyed the crowd's jokes as much as hopefully as they enjoyed ours. And, you know, there was like wrestlers like acting like they would get mad at us and shit. Like there's one point, you know, the heftier one, I was like, I think this guy might be legit mad.

But like, you know, in the end, they were all like, you know, what you do when they come at you is you just you let them. Yeah, you just you let them. And once they lean that big head down, you hop back and they go they go down like Don Zimmer oh okay I would think Muay Thai kicks please tell me you have one baseball fan that got that fucking right well it was his soul don's yeah yeah that's the only sport you watch do you watch soccer yeah I watch I watch it in countries that give a fuck. Yeah. You just get kind of swept up in it like you know the Premier League it's

interesting to watch here but when you're in like when you're over there right England or whatever it's it's like what everybody's doing everybody's into it you just you just get caught up in it. I'm an Arsenal FC fan. Do you know that? Arsenal. One nil Arsenal. That's their song. I went to a game. I went to a game over there. They played Everton. They were up one to nothing. And as they were singing, one nil Arsenal with like two minutes of time left, Everton scored. Fucking hilarious.

In like the end zone. What did you call it? This little bit of blue smoke went off. The whole stadium had to stop singing. Even though I don't know shit about either club, I understood that sports moment where you're just like, dude, it's in the bag. There's a shot to right field. What? Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a huge, I've never been there, but I'm a, I am a diehard Emirates fan. I mean, I'm an Arsenal fan. You know, it was cool. It was just cool to be around like sports, like listening to the legit real deal.

I remember somebody asked this guy if you could get him something to drink. And what was the guy from? Newcastle. I was like, he was like, I could murder a cup of tea. I was just like, that's why I'm here. I just want to hear that. However you guys talk.

Like the first time I heard somebody say when I was in England, me and my wife looked at each other Like giddy like you just saw Mickey Mouse Yeah, I was in Austin this weekend and there was a guy with a Tottenham shirt in a store and You know, I'm an arsenal fan. So I walked in the store and I go 3-0 Fulham, huh? He goes fuck you man. I go fuck you man, and we kind of got a friendly Fight that no one in the store understood He goes, fuck you, man. I go, fuck you, man. And we kinda got in a friendly fight

that no one in the store understood, you know what I mean? Because I go, I'm an Arsenal fan. And then we would go store to store and I would run into him and we'd continue the fight. It was so much fun, but I just love the, I never understood sports before the Premier League, like when I used to watch. Let's make this as intimate as possible.

No, no, no, no, I'm just, can I touch you here for a second? Am I supposed to be uncomfortable? No, no, no, no, I'll just do here this. But when I'm to watch Let's make this as intimate as possible. I'm not know I'm just gonna may touch you here for my supposed to be uncomfortable But when I'm saying that back in the day when I grew with your wispy facial hair But back in the day when I was growing up right you look like you transition All right, go ahead. Forget it. Forget it, man. Forget it. The boy in the suit looks like he's in a Glenn Fry video from the 80s. That's how the power brokers used to dress in 85s.

Smugglers, blues, maybe stand next to one of those Lambos. Yeah. All right. Sorry. Go ahead. No, I Lambos. Yeah. All right. Sorry, go ahead. No, I'm done with that. All right. My point is that I just never understood sports until you root for it, when you really fall in love with a team,

and then you kind of understand the mentality and why it's exciting, and then why one is devastated when they lose. I get devastated when Arsenal lose. I mean, we're number one. How big are those wins and losses? Like, how many are those wins and losses? Like how many games are in? How many matches out on the pitch are there in a season? I know it ends in July. Like it's going now. Does it get going now? Well, aside from the regular Premier League would be

40 times because there's 20 people in the league and so they play twice home and away. So that's 40. But then you have your 40 games. But then you have Champions League, which is during the week you would play if you're in the top four, and then you also have the FA Cup, which is all of the leagues. Well, well, well, I've never, so what is the, Champion League is the top four guys of the Premier League playing each other, or playing Europe?

No. The other Europeans. So you have Bundesliga, which is in Germany, right? And then you have all these other countries with their leagues, so in the, and? And then you have all these other countries with their leagues. So in the, and everyone has their premier league, which is like the main league, which is the top 20, right? And then there are leagues below that.

My point is that the first four, at the end of the season, the next year, if they take the top four, they're all thrown into one tournament called the Champions League. So you have four from Spain, four from Germany, four from England. Easy, easy there. And then have four from Spain, four from Germany, four from England. Easy, easy there.

And then they do their own tournament the next year. So it's pretty, it's like, and if you win that, you're the best in Europe. So what's bigger, winning the Premier League or winning the Champions League, right? Well, yeah, but when Man U did the trifecta, which they won the Premier League and the Champions League and the FA Cup. Class of 92. I mean 92 did it, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the FA Cup again?

The FA Cup now is in England. That's one level below World Cup. No, no, no, that's nothing to do with the World Cup. So I would start to say. I'm saying is that the biggest championship you can win other than the World Cup, the FA? No. There's another one.

The FA is kind of the coolest. The coolest, I was gonna explain the FA with this book maybe. Oh, I need pictures. No, there's no pictures. Oh no. Yeah, yeah, I don't think the book's gonna help. So I'm gonna try to explain it with my words, okay?

So in England, there's what, six, seven leagues. So the first 20 is the Premier League, then you have the Championship League, which is the league below, another 20 teams. Which you can get relegated to. So at the end of a season, if you're in the Premier League and you're in the last three, you go back to the bottom league.

Right. And then you can go lower and lower as the years go on. Right. Right, so essentially, theoretically, you and I could buy a shitty small team and then move up through time. I know somebody did that recently. Yeah, Rob from... Macklehans. So essentially, theoretically, you and I could buy a shitty small team and then move up through time. I know somebody did that recently.

Yeah, Rob from. McElhenney. Yeah, McElhenney. And that was Ryan Reynolds. They're doing it. But the FA Cup is literally all the teams during that year they play through a raffle system. So if you could be a third tier team

and still won the FA Cup and beat like Chelsea or Man U in the final and become, so that's a huge thing if you're a small team. Because they all have day jobs, those guys. You know, they have construction. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about that anymore. My whole point is that I love soccer and I understand why people like sports.

That's what, and we got this, so any other last question? Do you have anything? Go ahead. You have any questions? To Bill? He immediately starts fucking... I know. I don't know. Soccer in Mexico is the best. Have you ever been in Mexico. Who's your team? No, don't even. Don't even. He's not wrong.

I'm sure, but it's so random I don't even like it. Right, so we have Bill here and that's fucking it. No, but. What? I mean, it always seems like the people that win the World Cup. Yeah. You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The south of this country. Anyway, I have one last question for Bill. You know. South of this country. Yeah. Anyway, I have one last question for Bill. Do you think AI is going to take over podcasting and stand up eventually? No. Do you think we got a job? Well, I mean, has auto-tune taken over like actually hearing a really good singer? Wow.

No. No, it hasn't. It's also like people like to this day, people would still, you know, you can go to like Taco Bell or you can go to a legit place. You can always do that. You can always like if you don't give a fuck. There's going to be people that don't give a shit. So they'll do that. But the thing about AI is at this point, it can't innovate and it can't like create. All it can do is imitate, you know, and sort of do some mashups or whatever. But, um. Yeah, like when I see a Beatles song, right, like that's an AI song, I can tell it's AI.

It does have the same vibe, I guess, right? But it's like, it's not a good song. It's never a song like, I'm gonna buy that fucking single or whatever. I can tell you this. I went to a concert recently and the opener was a DJ. And I have never been so fucking bored or confused in my life.

It's like, what am I doing? I'm watching a guy playing records. Yeah. And then just every once in a while, he'd kind of do this. And I'm supposed to be like, ah! He's enjoying his stereo. Yeah, although I get why you have to be completely fucking whacked out on drugs Yeah, like I don't get it you go up there and you got like I just I don't I'm look

I'm really obviously ignorant on the topic. I I understand the genius of You know the little that I've seen, J. Dylan, guys like that. But I have to tell you, live, just sitting there watching that shit was like, I just felt like I was watching a reality show. Like there was, okay, now he's in his living room. Is he ever going to go to the kitchen and make a sandwich? Like, it just didn't seem like this is not performance. Or they throw t-shirts in the audience.

It's like, go behind the thing and do something. Steve Aoki will grab it, throwing stuff. He's like go behind the thing and do something Yeah, Steve. I okay. We'll grab it throwing stuff He's a cake. So the whole concert was like that. I'm sorry. Yeah, like there's cake. There wasn't a band Yeah, yeah, the headliner came out. There wasn't a band There was the sound of a bit. So it's like Bill. I don't know. I believe the piano, you know that right? I didn't know that. Yeah, I believe piano.. Let's start. You play like that Wu Tang shit? No, no, no, no. But I play keyboards, I know how to do it.

Let's try to, let's create a band with other comics. You jam first and if the vibe is there, there you go. No, no, no, no, no, we force it like the Clash. They put people together, you know what I mean? Oh, is that what happened? Yeah, the Clash were like, they weren't a band, a record company put them together.

They were a boy band, essentially. Yeah, essentially a boy band. Yeah, the class where they weren't a geek band. A record company put them in. They were a boy band, essentially. Essentially a boy band. But they were, because they know how to play instruments. And see, that's me in college playing in a band. Nice hair. I didn't know that. Yeah, I was in a bunch of bands growing up. That was a psychedelic band I was in.

Look at that. Oh my god. That's insane, dude. I tried that before Stand Up, and then they kicked me out of the band, and I go. Yeah, but you got further than I did. I never got out of my parents' basement playing drums. Oh, you never played it live in a band?

Not until I maybe did like the God damn comedy jam. I know, I've sat in with a few bands before then. Yeah. What's weird now- Stop playing that, man. It's weird. Oh, cool, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But why did they fire you? Well, go back to the video then, I'll show you. Okay. This is the Bobby Lee behind the music. Yeah, yeah. If you, well, anyway, don't, don't, if you, you can go on YouTube- Did that band go on to become the Spin Doctors?

No, no, no, no, no, no. They dreadfully, they went away after a year. It was, we were called Lax and Superb. I know, I know, yeah. Land of happiness. Yeah, we were a hippie band. Yeah, anyway, if you watch the Lax and Superb, there's an old man there with wearing like glasses

that's in there, so they, because we're kids, and they're like, well, these two hippies we met in fucking Eskenido, they want to be in the band. And they were in their 30s. That guy to the right? Yeah. Right, so I'm like, I don't want old men on the fucking band.

And then, you know, I stopped going to fucking rehearsals. And then they kicked me out. Did you get sick of looking at his bald spot? Yeah, yeah, I couldn't fuck, dude, I was like what, 19 there? He should have, for you, written the set list on the back. Yeah. yeah. I couldn't fuck. Dude, I was like what, 19 there? He should have, for you, written the set list on the back of his head. Yeah. Exactly.

Anyway, you wanna plug anything? I will be at the Arizona Financial Theater. Nothing says arts like Arizona Financial. Yeah. Proudly evicting snowbirds. April 28th. 26, 27, 28. I got the Hollywood Bulls coming up. There's a few tickets left.

Wow. And yeah, and then my end of my theaters. Let me ask you, if I was in Arizona, because my mom, I'm sometimes out there, and I was there that weekend, I don't want to go out, but is there any way I can come and hang out or no? Well, if you're out there, I'll throw you on the show. I don't want to be on the show. I will just go out.

Okay. Yeah, I can hang out. With your... Maybe. Shiitake. Shiitake mushroom. No, what is the ramen that you eat? Cinnamon.

Sukumon. Sukumon. Sukumon. Yeah, Sukumon. Sukumon. Yeah, yeah. In fact, I would like to have... Do I bow when I say Sukumon?

No, I don't know. But I would like to have. Do I bow when I say Sukhumvit? No. No, I don't know. But I would like to have Sukhumvit with you as well. And I'd like also to make me a pie. OK. OK? OK. Give. What kind of pie do you like?

Do you make savory and fruit? Or do you? Yeah, whatever you want. Really? The filling's easy. It's getting the crust. That's the hard part. Especially if it's savory.

There you go, this is me way back in the day. Making a pie, teaching people how to make a pie crust. Wow, but so I would judge you based on a good chicken pot, so can you make a good chicken pot pie? Yeah. And you know how to make the filling? Yes. Oh, to scratch. The whole thing. Okay, okay, no, I mean sometimes you know how to make the filling? Yes. Oh, the scraps.

The whole thing. Okay, okay. No, I mean, sometimes you can get that stuff at the store, no? But he's right, like the crust is... The most important. The most important part. Maybe I haven't never had a good crust.

I don't know how to do the flaky thing. I still don't get quite how to do that. It's fine. Make me a pie. And oh, can I have, I know that was another question, and probably it's not a personal thing, but I wanna ask you something. I'll be, and oh, can I have, there's another question, and probably it's not a personal thing, but I wanna ask you something.

I'll be, can we, can I ask you a kind of uncomfortable question? Just fucking do it. I know why, I like the tension. The buildup. I like the buildup of it. Well, if I don't like the question, I won't answer it. All right, here we go.

So, can I do this again? You do whatever you want. Okay, so, when you first moved to LA, okay, you invited me to your Christmas party. And it was, remember what I gave you? Oh, what did you get me? Did you get me something for my dog? No, it was a DVD.

Oh, was it Oldboy? Yes. Oh yeah, yeah. So I gave you Oldboy, right? Yes. And then since then, I've never been invited to your house again. Is there something that I did, you know what I mean,

across the line of some sort? I always feel like in the back of my head that I did something at the party, and then that's why I haven't been, or have you not had parties at your house? Yeah, we haven't really had parties. Okay, that's it. That's all it was.

Let's move on. That's it. It was a great movie. I know, I know, it was a great party. And I couldn't, because you showed me that you play drums. It was like, I was like, oh my God, I'm in. In what? Bill Burr's house!

Yeah, hanging out with the guy, you know what I mean? And then all of a sudden, years after that, I was like, oh, no more invite, huh? It's how my mind works. No, you know what happened was I got married and I had kids, and then it's just like, there's nothing worse than bringing comedians over, or just people over that don't have kids, because it's just like there's nothing worse than bringing comedians over or just people over that don't have kids because it's a weird

environment and then they just kind of you know they just look at a kid like yeah there it is I get that I get that it's just like I came over here to get fucked up and now there's a kid here and it's just the vibes change that's it I was I could move on with it now okay Okay cool. You know I have so many of those little things in my head. Did this happen because of this? But it's all in your head. It always is in your head. It's not a real thing. You're talking to yourself. Don't start lecturing everybody else. It's all in your head. No it's in your head. No what I'm saying is nobody else. No no what I'm saying. I hate when people do that. No I hate what you're

doing right now. I hate what you're doing right now I'm trying to make a point and my point is sometimes people Imagine things that aren't real and that's what the point I'm trying to make I need you to have more confidence in your words Okay, you don't seem to be able to make a point without acting out English Like what is all of this? It's just like. I can, you, I can make up. If I was looking through a window and I couldn't hear sound, I'm like,

when is this guy gonna stop talking about his laundry? I can do it without movement if that's what you want. Yeah, let's try. Let's see, let's try it. So a lot of times. Energy, right into the carpet. Not good. Energy down, I need energy up.

Yeah. Hands not moving, this is your close up. Oh, so you want to do it a TED Talk? Yeah, listen, we got that other one with the hands. Let's do this, Tate. Oh, yeah. It was great. Okay, great.

Just so I have options. This is great, this is great, right. All right, so. You know the term fear, false evidence appearing real? I tend to use that in my mind. I mean, in my, fuck, I fucked up. It was so much more powerful. It was so much more powerful.

I believed you. I believed you. When you shut that going like, no, there's a lot of things. And I just kinda, I'm like, this guy is like, I don't know what he's doing. Give me another shot. All right. We're losing light.

Don't put the pressure. Don't put the pressure. All right, go ahead. We're light. Don't put the pressure. Don't put the pressure. All right, go ahead. We're gonna be in overtime after the scene. No, just say action please. I got it, Bill, I got it. And. Action.

Rolling, action. You know, Jasmine, you know that term fear, false evidence appearing real. That's been the basis of my life throughout the history of my own life. Fuck. Why'd you say history? We got the hands thing, we'll just use that.

Fuck, dude. Oh fuck. That's what it's like sometimes. And give Bill Burr a round of applause, everybody. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks, bye. Thanks for watching!