TigerBelly - Bob The Drag Queen & The Yellow Thumb

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

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Is it on? Yeah. Buy the tickets or I'm gonna hurt myself. I'm gonna hurt myself. I might die. You can do whatever you want Bob. If you want to hear the piano headphones. You can use this. How clean my ears are.

All right. So put in headphones and take you clean. You have really clean ears. It seems like. Do I do that? Yeah, that was really clean. I'm going to take. Yeah, I can't.

I want to. I wanna do this. I don't have my hair done, so. Welcome, Tiger Belly podcast. I was waiting for my, this isn't, I just remembered one thing. Pfft. So if you could stop playing, Bob, that'd be great. If you could just chill off for like three seconds.

I'm sorry. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. There's the glare. That's what we're going to get this whole episode. The Bobby glare. We stan. Welcome to the podcast, Bob. Great. Bob, the drag queen,

the best drag queen in the universe. I saw a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, Someone was getting an award mm-hmm, and you called it the best Korean award. Yes, that's right Who was winning that award who got Hans Kim Hans Kim was winning? Yeah, did you win that award too? I never won at once damn, but I gave the award. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's even a bigger honor I would say you're so cute. Oh What are we waiting for? Why can't you just drink out of the thing? It's a cute cup.

Oh, you need a cute cup? It's a cute cup. We can get started and then... Everything you do is cute? Yeah, a little cute. We can get started and the cup is flying. Your shoulder thing is pretty cute. And I'm not going to vape on your pod. You can vape. No, it doesn't affect anything, man.

What are your pronouns? What are your pronouns? He and she. He, she. So whichever one you feel most comfortable with. Peter, what are your pronouns? Peter, he, he. He, he, he.

Like Michael Jackson? He, he. I do go by Michael and Jackson. Nice. Yeah, yeah. What is your, Jules, what's your pronouns? She, her. She, her. Okay, good. What is your, Jules, what's your pronouns? She, her. She, her.

OK, good. I'm just going to start. But can I hear what you're playing? Why do you have to wear the hat? Because I don't have hair, and I'm balding. OK, all right. Ooh. A, A, A, Bobby Lee on the boards.

A, A, it's Bobby Lee on the keyboard. A, it's Bobby Lee and Bob the Drag Queen in the motherfucking studio. It be gonna do the fucking duty ho. You do do do the whole lot of rap too? Wow. You do everything dude. Wait, you don't know about his viral rap? Listen guy, wait.

I want everyone to pay attention to me right now, okay? Oh! I don't know. There it is. There it is. Wait, I want everyone to pay attention to me right now, okay? It's cute in the cop nothing yet There's water in here. Well, I've already chugged the whole thing. Oh, this is water Yeah, put the water in there put that water in there and when and just takes Taylor So when they're when their gift arrives, I can get a. Yeah, Taylor, get the gift to Remy. This is Rob. Whatever his name is. Bob and Rob. Rob and Bob. Who's Taylor then?

Taylor is another associate of mine. Is he or is he she? What is it? He. What's Taylor all about? Taylor's a stylist. You're all about style, huh? Well, Rob is my stylist.

Rob styled me today, but Taylor's another stylist that I know. That's an interesting outfit you have on. Thank you. How much is it? I don't know how much it yeah. That's an interesting outfit you have on. Thank you. How much is it? I don't know how much it costs. We don't spend a lot of crazy. How much was this, Rob?

One million dollars. One million dollars. There probably wasn't that much. Yeah. You live in New York? No, I live here in LA. That's fantastic news. Yeah.

So anyway, how about a round of applause for, you know, I'm gonna, how about a round of applause for, you know, I'm going to, how about a round of applause for Christopher Delmar Codwell. Christopher Delmar Codwell. Christopher Delmar Codwell. And give it up for Robert Young Lee Jr. Give it up for Robert Young Lee Jr. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I like you.

What a guy. So Bob, can I call you Bob? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did you shift to Bob? Well, my drag name actually used to be Kitten with a Whip years ago. Kitten with a Whip. Kitten with a Whip years ago. Kitten with a Whip.

Kitten with a Whip was my drag name years ago. That's better. Yeah. Yeah. Well, everyone kept calling me Kate or Kitty. Right. And I hated that. So I was like, well, I want to go by a name

that people can't mistake for anything else. So I chose Bob, which is weird. Cause a lot of people start calling me Mom. They thought I was saying Mom in the club. Oh really? They'd be like, what's your name? Like, Bob. They'd be like, Mom? I'd be like, yeah, my name is. Yeah. What kind of clubs do you go to? I don't really go to clubs. This was when I was saying mom in the club. Oh really? What's your name like, Bob? You're like mom? I'd be like yeah, my name's Bob.

Yeah, what kind of clubs do you go to? I don't really go to clubs. This was when I was younger. I don't really go to clubs much anymore. Yeah, but if you were gonna go to a club, where do you go, Abby? Where do you go? Right now I probably go to,

sometimes I swing by Mickey's sometimes. You know about Mickey's? Yeah, of course. Are you gay? Yeah, he's gay, that's why I brought him. Are you a little gay? That's why, very good name. He made me come because he needed someone to be a buffer. I need a buffer

Why need a bridge? Why need that's a good drag name? Why need a bridge? Yeah Are you a little gay even a little? Yeah The little guys showing in the fashion area oh I'm not a little gay at all! I'm not a little gay at all! I will say, the little gay is not showing in the fashion area. Yeah. Oh, here we go. First of all, this is my house, Bob.

How do you dress it? You dress like that at your house? Yeah, of course. OK, I don't dress like that at my house. I mean, but you're- When I go out, I go dress like that. But you're at work still, though. I guess.

I guess you're right. OK, I don't dress good. Let me Google Bobby Lee red carpet and see how we dress when we're Let me google Bobby Lee red carpet and see How we dress when we're going out Bobby Lee red carpet it says it says nothing. It's like girl Did you mean to google something else? There you go, Bob. Bob right there. Okay. Oh, oh Yeah, yeah, like the office. The tie is humongous. I'm going to the office. Yeah. Yeah. This is no, this is not great Uh, this is not bad. Okay. I like this one Okay, look how angry I'm there. Do you listen you listen a lot of rock music? Yeah, this is some rock

Why because this is me recently this is 2024 at the Golden Gala. Okay. I'm not mad at that It's just that you're wearing a Fleetwood Mac shirt now. You're wearing a CD shirt see shirt there So yeah, well, I like bands. You don't like bands Bob bands. Yeah for sure. What kind of bands you like Bob? I was listening to Room 5 on the way here today. I'm friends with Adam Levine Bob. Yeah, so that was that was a fun song I'm connected to that too. Were you earlier to songs about Jane? What's that mean guy? That's that's their album songs about Jane Do you don't listen to your friends music? Do they watch your comedy? No.

Well, I went to the Maroon 5. Oh, Peter, please. I went to the Maroon 5 concert and I recognize some of the songs. Which ones? I don't remember, but I remember I was next to my friend, Jean. I go, Oh, I know this one. They did a great song. Adam Levine did a great song

with Cardi B. Oh yeah, yeah. That's very good. Yeah, that's a pretty good song. Anyway, um, You want to start beef with Cardi B right now? I don't give a fuck about no Cardi B, dog. Oh my God, you heard it here, Cardi B shots fired.

Right here, the Tiger Belly podcast. Yeah, that's right, it wasn't a musket either, it was an 8.24. Wow, with Belkley's officer? Yeah. Pa pa pa pa pa, all over Cardi B. Now let me say something. That was not me.

That was Bobby Lee. That was not Bob the Drag. Oh no, I know, I know, I know, I know. I don't want to start nothing with her. I forgot who Cardi B was. No, I don't want to start anything. You thought she was a white lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought there was a white lady named Cardi B. I don't want to start anything with her. Yeah, no, you don't want to. Yeah, yeah, to. All peace. Where you from? I'm from Atlanta. I'm from San Diego. Oh, San Diego.

Okay, nice. Can I ask you something, Bob? Yeah, of course. Do you think that I'm hot for being an Asian or no? I want to be clear. Be clear. You don't have to say for being an Asian. Why, why, why, why, why, why?

But like for being a person. No, no, no, no. No. Oh, personally in general, no. In general. Right, but for an Asian. Why, why, why, why, why, why? But like for being a person. No, no, no, no. No. Oh, personally in general, no. In general. Right, but for an Asian, yes. No. Oh, fuck.

Not like hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you didn't know me, we were at a club. Okay. Well, I know, first of all, Bob, I don't want to assume that you're gay. Are you gay? I'm queer.

Okay. So there's room for more than just the guys. What is it, the 18 hottest just the guys. BD Wong is hot. Yeah. Really? How? Justin, Sean? Yeah. I know him. For sure. The chest tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I guess the rock is Asian. Yeah. I guess he is too. Yeah. Yeah. Is he on the black list too? Yeah. Yeah. Henry. You know, to be clear, I'm not into the rock. It's a little much. Henry, Henry Golding. Yeah. That's pretty hot. Yeah. Yeah. That's for me. Really? Number a number hot. Steven, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's for me. Really? A number one. If I'm not A, I'm gonna be so mad. Yeah, he's fine. He's the hottest. Dev Patel? Dev Patel's hot.

Y'all remember Mo Hinder from Heroes? Yeah. Oh my God. Mo Hinder, I don't know the actor's name, but Mo Hinder was. Give me the Mo Hinder. Oh him? Wow. British, I don't know the actor's name, but Mohinder was sm- Give me the Mohinder. Oh him? Wow.

British. I don't know. Indian smolder. Yeah, I don't like that. You don't like that? You don't like a pretty face? No, because Indians have purple penises. So?

That's better. Have you done the market? It is better. What are you so angry about? Rather than pale and like white. Okay, okay. I just like a, I like a pale penis. But I thought you like them purple.

Or you don't like them purple. I don't like them purple. God, is your penis pale? It's purple. It's purple. It's purple. Are you Indian? Are you Indian?

No, I just have a purple penis. Well, my sacks are very dark. Would you like to see them? I'd take your word for it. Okay. When you say very dark, you mean compared to yours, but not like darker than my sack. No, you're dark.

Yours is very dark. That's an assumption. Yeah. Oh yeah. You're right. That's my bad. Yeah. And I was show me a penis picture on your phone.

I don't have dick pics on my phone. Oh, so you're just going to show me like in person. Oh, it's going to pull out a stack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, it's fine.

I won't. You don't take any dick pics at all? No. Well, it's not gonna do me any favors. Well, It's just gonna help my case. Well, with nice angles and stuff. No, there's no angle. I mean, I have zoom. I guess I could zoom. Wait, Bob, what's the best angle?

Well, it depends on the shape of your penis. Okay. What's your shape, Peter? Talk about your shape. I would say mine's generally up. Yeah, a lot of them go up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I have a gonzo. You have a down. Yeah, curves down. That's good for head. Yeah, it is. Oh, great. Great for head.

Oh my God, it just goes right down the chute. Oh yeah. Really? Bobby, thoughts? Yeah, my thoughts on the curve. Well, let me just see, like, just, cause I'm an engineer. Mm-hmm, sure.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're absolutely right. It goes ready would go down. What's what's your shape? My she's straight up It's more like a little rocket Rocket yeah, my great four ones are kind of like the really straight ones are mine Curves still left a little bit because of the you know, I mean when I jerk off I go to the right left I don't think that actually affects the way that you because I don't jerk off facing down So you don't know okay But also people whose penises curve up they tend to store their penises up in their pants like when they're wearing underwear their penis

They're like literally which is wild as opposed to down my penis goes I'm storing it down because it's naturally going down as it actually goes down. Oh My penis goes, I'm storing it down. Because it's naturally going down. Because it naturally goes down. Oh, interesting. Mine's tucked into. Where do you tuck yours? Usually like it's going up

and then the band is keeping it in place. So if you have a boner, it's gonna go, it's gonna be poking out. Yeah, I mean, it's over the lip. Yeah, and if I have a boner, it's just going down. To your own butt. That's great for tucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Peter, say yours again because I want to do mine like yours. Oh my God. But yours goes to the left though. Can't you just describe yours again? No. Like that was just, ill. No, because I want mine to not be the way it is.

Are you comfortable? Yeah. Okay. Okay. She's family. I think I just did it. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did it feel good? Yeah, yeah, so basically what you're saying is that when it comes to a certain community, I wouldn't be considered sexy. Yes. That's interesting. I mean, you weren't on the list. And I didn't make that list, so it's not just my opinion. But I will say when it comes to like the, um, when it comes to the middle-aged graying slightly chubby comedians, there we go I would say of of those people. Yeah. Yeah, if it's like you and Louis CK and

and Fluffy and Carmel fluffy I'm in the same category. No, you're the hottest of them earthquake earthquake. Yeah You're harder than quick. You're hotter than all of them. Earthquake. Earthquake, yeah. You're hotter than all of them. OK, can I throw Joe Rogan in there? Because the body shape's similar now. He's bloated a lot. Yeah, he has.

You're hotter than Joe Rogan as well. Wow. That's a win. I'm going to text him that later, my friend. A win is a win. A win is a win. You heard that Spotify? Yeah.

OK, so what I'm saying is I just want to make this be a great name for like a Vietnamese podcast. What? Oh, and is it when that is good? That's very good. Great that down man. Um, find someone Vietnamese So, um, but I do get girls. I don't know if you guys know that of course Why well, you're well, you're funny you're charming and also women aren't as judgmental as men are You're funny, you're charming. And also women aren't as judgmental as men are. When it comes to looks. Women will be like, if you're funny and charming and you have money and you're nice to my cat

and you call my mom, it doesn't matter if you look like a thumb. Okay. And you don't look like a thumb. To be clear, you do not look like a thumb. Not a thumb. You look like a yellow thumb, dude. Yeah, I didn't say yellow.

That was you. Okay, I know you did, I know. But let me say something to you and I'm gonna make this as clear as I can, okay? Don't suck a lot of dicks myself, right? But I bet your money, right? If I did, I'd be the best at it. That's, no.

Oh yes, 100%. If you and me were having a dick sucking contest, I promise you. I promise you. I would suck you under the table. No, there's no way, dude, no. And also I would be clear, in a pussy eating contest, I promise you. I would suck you under the table. No, there's no way dude. No. And also, I want to be clear, in a pussy eating contest, I'd beat you too. Like easily. Are you out of your mind? I'm telling you right now. I'm the champ. No, you're not.

I'm the champ at that. What are some of your techniques? Well, okay, so I do a lot of suction. Okay. You don't know about suction? Yes I do. Right? You do? Right? We'll describe Pussy Eating, you tell us who you think is going to do a better job, okay?

Okay. You want to go first? She's like a daughter to me, so I don't want to do it. Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? Let's do dicks first. Okay, so if you're going to be... I'd rather do dicks. Your choice.

Your choice, Bobby. Why was that a choice? And then you can tell us. I don't know, because I felt threatened. So if you're sucking a dick. Okay, well I've done both too, so I wanna play. Okay, if you're sucking a dick, if you're holding the balls, this is nice.

You don't have to. Okay, can I just say something? Yeah. Let's not play. Why? I fucked up by even going into this territory, because I feel like I'm gonna be proven wrong. I mean, yeah.

But you know what, we'll go ahead, let's go ahead and do it anyway. If you're holding the balls, and if you can get it all the way down your throat, you should definitely do that. And if you can't, you gotta use the hand to like compensate for the lack of throating ability. But you know what I would do?

What? Okay, I put the sack in my mouth. Okay. One of the testicles would be on one side of the cheek. You hold it on the other side of the cheek. Pain. Right, what. Pain. Pain. What do you mean pain? How big are these balls?

Shack. What if? Yeah, Shack's balls. But we don't know that. But do we know that the balls have that level of elasticity? But that's what I can do with my mouth. That's the thing. Separate someone's balls?

That's not good, dude. Yes, I get it. I go, right, so now we're in there, right? And I look in the eyes and I'm like, and I... Isn't the penis is right between your... Exactly, exactly. Right here, dude, right? And I look up with my eyes, right?

And I go, you know, with my eyes, I can like communicate by saying, yes, I can, yes I can. And when I'm communicating, it's more so. It's going up, no. Soaking. Like you're soaking the ball. Yeah, I'm keeping the idiots. Smores. No, no, no. Soaking. Like you're soaking the ball. Yeah, I'm soaking the ball.

Nice. So with my eyes, you'll be able to look down. My eyes will go. I'm soaking. What position are you in? I'm soaking. What position are you in down there? Yes, dude.

What? What position? I'm on my knees. Okay, but is your ass poking out? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Are you wearing cute underwear? Yes! What kind?

It's, I'll show you the one I'm wearing now. Let's see. Okay. Okay. Sock Doc. Sock Doc. Sock Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

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Yes! What kind? It's, uh, actually the one I'm wearing now. Let's see. Okay. They're not not cute. Wait, let me see the back. Okay.

Oh, that star is the tattoo. Yeah. I thought it was part of the, um. No, it's not a part of the thing, right? The design would have been nice. So I'm not not cute. Wait, let me see the back Okay. Oh that star is the tattoo. Yeah, I thought it was part of the no It's not a part of the thing right design would have been nice. So I'm not done yet though. Okay, so Soaking that's a 20 minute event Morse code I'm more so with my 20 minutes you're doing nothing with the penis For 20 minutes you're doing nothing with the penis. Dude, I promise you this though, the kind of work I do with the sex is gonna keep this

penis hard. Okay! See, you're edging, you're edging. Yeah, you're edging. Also, you've never experienced my style. So right now you're trying to comprehend it. I am. So with my eyes, and I'll even say, are you comprehending?

Yeah, yeah. Morse code it, right? I'm listening. Yeah, are you comprehending what I is okay. Yeah, yeah. Morse code it, right? I'm listening. Yeah, are you comprehending what I'm doing right now? Right? Mm-hmm. Yep. What?

High tech. So you're asking questions. You're giving a quiz during the blow job. Got it, got it. Right, and with you, you don't even have to say that. You can just do it with your eyes. Okay. And you're gonna go with your eyes?

Wow. Uh-huh. Yeah, amazing. I mean, I can talk because the person can talk because they don't have balls. Oh, that's true. I can just be like, I'm good. There's no balls in my mouth.

All right, you're right. You're right. You can. You can communicate. So with your mouth, like normal people can communicate. You will say, wow, amazing. Keep going. You know what I mean, right?

And then what I do is I do a choo-choo train. I'm all ears. You are. Right now I'm all sack. I wanna hear, what is the choo-choo train method? Well, imagine that your testicles, right? Okay, I'm imagining. Is a train station.

Okay. Right? All aboard. All aboard, that's what I say with my eyes too. With your eyes. Right, when it's time to transition, I go, all aboard, right? And I go choo-ch say with my eyes too. With your eyes. Right, when it's time to transition, I go all aboard, right? And I go choo choo with my eyes, right? And then I slowly take them out, right?

And I go up the track. Okay. And the track is the penis. Up the bottom of it. Yes. Kissing, licking, or just like traveling? Everything. Just dry lip.

What, what? Okay. Yeah, yeah, some suck, right? Right, choo cho'm talking like, right, right, choo choo, right, with my eye choo choo, right? And then I just do head work. The technique. Head work. So the whole middle of the move is being ignored.

You put 20 minutes on the ball, another 20 minutes on the head, the whole shaft is just ignored at this point. Dude, I'm doing head work, bro. Okay. Right? What's so funny, dude? I'm gonna tell you something, dude.

You know what I'm gonna do, dude? You know what I'm gonna do? Take the tip of my tongue, right? And I'm gonna go inside the little pee hole. No. Sounding. What? Sounding.

What do you mean sounding? Sounding's when you enter the pee hole. Yes, that's what it's called? Yeah, it's called sounding, yeah. Well, I've been doing it for years. I never even named it. Yeah, so you have to do a lot of head for years. Yeah, yeah.

I gotta say, off the rip. Yeah, off the rip, tell me. This is not a great technique. I'm not King Shaming. Do whatever you want when you're slobbing knobs, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I think with practice,

you can find someone who's into this thing for sure. No, you'll be into it. Me? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. All right, if you're out there. I will blow your mind. You know what?

Right, right. Only time will tell. I'm not even done though. Oh my God. There's more. What? There's more. Yeah, and I do a double-handed jerk off.

Okay, this is nice. You do? This is nice, yeah. Here's what I do. You're not gonna believe this style. The bottom of your shaft, what's so funny, Gilbert? This is nice. Yeah. What? Here's what I do. You're not going to believe this style. The bottom of your shaft. What's so funny, Gilbert? You just said you weren't gay in 20 minutes.

Yeah. Okay. But on the top of the shaft, I do three fingers. And that's two. What? That's three. Oh, I didn't see the thumbs. I pay attention. Yeah. This is too high-tech. to pay attention dog all right right and I

go I don't do it all the same time okay they're different you know I mean oh so this goes fast this goes slow yeah you know have you have that that have you have that level of rhythmic I do I do dude okay I can show you right now right okay right now, right? Okay. What? Yeah, I don't think you do. I don't think you do.

I haven't done it in a while, dude. Yeah, I gotta get into the groove, right? Obviously, obviously. With that rhythmic, you know what I mean? Your penis, the sensation, you've never felt that before, right? Then I go another 20 minutes to the sack, I soak again. You will re-repeat.

What? Another 20 minutes? Yeah, yeah. My God. Oh, but you've already come four times. Four times? At least. You know what? Yeah, yeah. My God. Oh, but you already come four times. Four times? At least. You know what? Yeah. Thank you. I'm hearing your method. Thank you.

I appreciate the innovation. You are an engineer. Yeah, but then... I've left. I've called my Uber. No, no, no, no, no, but then, right? So now I'm a prisoner. I'm trying to leave. You have me by the balls. You will not let me leave. But here's what else I do, my then, right? So now I'm a prisoner. I'm trying to leave. You have me by the balls. You will not let me leave.

Here's what else I do, my friend, right? I do a move called the lonely man in the desert. You know what that move is? I can only imagine. I'm going to tell you. Okay. Okay. Your taint is the desert. Okay.

My tongue's the lonely man. Wandering. I'm wandering. Right? Sometimes I run. Sometimes I hide. And sometimes right at night. What is the lonely man do? He hides in the cave. And that's the butthole. I don't know. Are you lifting the legs to get here? Exactly, dude. Okay, nice. Exactly, thank you.

Thank you so much. There's some good stuff here. Okay, thank you. Well, that's all I wanted was some, like, you know, some acknowledgement, right, that it was like, you know, that it could work. There are some things in here that do work. What doesn't work?

I think the splitting of the balls. I think the lack of rhythm in the hands. I think the 40 minutes on the balls So all of it no, but the cave. Oh, yeah, the wonder. Yeah lonely man in the desert wondering the desert And the yeah, yeah up the shaft of the shaft And the... Yeah. Up the shaft. Yeah, up the shaft.

The choo-choo. Depending on how long you do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's either charming or annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Peter, describe to me your techniques with the vagina. What the vagina? Why are we going to vagina?

Everyone's doing it. Because I'm doing something that I'm not like I don't do. Oh, okay. I'm just telling you what I would do. I've only done this once. Oh, the one time. One time. Yeah. So what did would do. I've only done this once. Oh the one time one time. Yeah So what did you do? I did use technique. Okay, so tell me the technique

Someone told me that you were supposed to do the alphabet but instead I it's a Sam Kinnison joke what? Like use your tongue and like draw. Write a letter. No, but that's a Sam Kinison joke. What's the joke? He did a stand-up joke because when you're down there, you do the ABCs or whatever and you write. What's...

Yeah. Well, literacy is not great in America. But there's more letters in Spanish. But if you did Sanskrit, that'd be cool. I did in Korean. Oh, that's so much better. How many letters in the Korean alphabet? 24.

24. Okay, similar. Okay, similar. Similar, yeah. But the Korean alphabet, there's like a moon, a house, there's all different kinds of. Oh my God. What? Is that a lie? Because I believe it, because I don't know.

No, but the way they look, it's like, yeah, it looks more like, it's more pictorial. There's more lines in the Korean alphabet. There's more lines, and that's very good technique. There we go, zooming that. Oh, there she is. There she is, there we go. So yeah, I mean, you would do some bo, some dos, some bo-sos, I mean you would do some mo some do's some bozo's right you do use

Yes, and then ee ee ee This is more than 24 Like I'm not great. Well, you're repeating a lot of oh, okay It's syllabic got it. Yeah Bob get with it I'm not a polyglot, you gotta forgive me. So you did that down there? I was doing that. She seemed to like it.

Yeah, but what are they gonna go, no? I mean, if they didn't hurt her, I don't think. Okay, that's fine, that's good. I didn't try any suction. Oh, suction's fun. Is it? Yeah. What are you sucking, the lips?

The clitoris. Exactly, Bob, come on, we're on the same page, baby. I don't think I was I don't think I was there were you like I Was looking for it sir last or you like? Because the lips are like this It's like this I didn't see the clicking both the lips like turning sideways to get both the lips in Yeah, did you close because you know closed your eyes? I was like this. Okay, don't use your hands. Why?

Why would you put your hands over there? No, his hands are the vagina. Oh, I didn't know. I thought you were just doing this. Just doing like this. I don't think she had a good time. I don't think so because I didn't know there was a clitoris, obviously.

I was 19. I did not, we didn't have sex ed. But we did, but we didn't- Clitoris existed when you were 19. Yeah, yeah. They didn't have sex ed. Right. But we did, but we didn't. Clitoris existed when you were 19. Yeah, yeah. They didn't discover the clitoris when you turned 20. I feel like it was the odds. Right, so that's the one time you did it.

And she didn't probably orgasm. Did you not take some health class and learn about there was clitoris? No, we didn't do clitoris. We did, we barely did labia. I didn't think I knew what a labia was. We went to a science and math high school in New York. So it was very.

Biology is science. Human anatomy is science. Yeah, I don't know. Sex ed was like, no one wanted to do it. You're from New York City? Yeah, did you do sex ed in New York City? I'm from Atlanta. Oh, did you do sex ed in Atlanta?

Yeah. You learned about cluterus in high school? Yeah, we learned every part of the female and male anatomy. Whoa. And we took a quiz. They give us a picture of it. And you're like, what is that? What is that?

What is that? And then you do the inside of the anatomy. And you go, what's that? What's inside? Philippine tubes. Yeah. Oh, that stuff. Ovaries.

Ovaries. A cervix. Cervix. What's the cervix? So the cervix is pretty far back. Yeah, it will be back. Yeah. So if you're going really far and you Yeah, it will be back. Yeah. So like, so if you're going really far and you're like, if you have a big, if yeah, or a long or something

or an object or something, you'll be, you'll be hitting the cervix, but you can get your cervix removed though. I've never, I've never, if you get like a, if you get like a ovarian, you've never hit the cervix. I don't even know. I know. I never went there. If you get ovarian for lip, fallopian hysterectomy, then the cervix will be gone. Oh wow. Yeah, I'm pretty sure someone should Google that, but I'm pretty sure. Learning so much today. No, I didn't know any of-

Okay, like if the cervix is like Cleveland, I went to Denver. That's how far I've been. Like a whole different- You know, a whole different- You were in a different girl? No, I just didn't go further, you know what I mean? Okay, because Cleveland is in Ohio

and Denver is in Colorado. Yeah, Cleveland, what's the different state? I know, but still the direction is... I would say if it's Long Island... Las Vegas. You made it to Fire Island. You didn't make it to, you know... Montauk. Yeah. Can I do my own though, analogy? Thank you, Bob.

As long as it makes sense. You got to make it make sense. Yeah, can I do my more... As long as... From LA, right? I went to Vegas and I didn't get all the way to Cleveland. But how big is this vaginal cave? How small is my shot?

There it is. There we go, that's what it is. That was the joke. It wasn't like, you had to analyze the joke. Everyone knows if you explain the joke, that's how you know it's funny. Okay, Bob, you fucking asshole. All right, so did you get good grades in high school?

No, you were a fuck up. Yeah, I graduated with a 2.7 GPA. Whoa. And everyone in Georgia goes, anyone in Georgia has a Hope Scholarship. If you graduate high school with a B average or higher, you go to college for free. I'm from Alpharetto. Yeah, it's paid for by the Georgia lottery called Hope Scholarship. And then you got, you didn't get that.

I did. I got Pell Grant. Oh, you did. Which is for broke people. And did you go to college? Yeah, I went to for by the Georgia lottery called Hope Scholarship. And then you got you didn't get that. I did. I got Pell Grant. Oh, you did? It's just for broke people. And did you go to college? Yeah, I went to college. Which one?

Columbus State University in Columbus, Georgia. Oh, that's cool. I didn't finish though. Okay. I dropped out to come to New York City and become a comedian. What was your major? Theater education. I was gonna be a drama teacher.

Oh, you don't even do you know what that is? Yeah. She's not like an immigrant. She didn't just get here. What is a drama teacher? Can I ask some personal questions, Bob? Yeah, of course. Okay.

And I don't know if this is offensive. I mean, I may not have an answer, but you can ask anything. Okay. So how do I go into... I feel like you do know if it's offensive, by the way. I think you know. No, I don't. Like, I don't even know if this is possibly offensive.

No, I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So, how do I go into... I feel like you do know if it's offensive by the way.

I think you know. Like I don't even know if this is possibly offensive. No, I don't know. I don't know. I'm all ears. Okay. What are you looking at me like that, Peter? I'm paying attention.

I know, but your eyes are going... Morse code. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think when you start with... I think the preface of I don't know if it's offensive. It was soaking. Don't do soaking. Now I got that, yeah, yeah.

So yeah. When did you, in terms of your sexuality, when did you discover that? I mean, I've always known that I was queer. To be clear, a lot of people pointed out to me before I knew, they'd be like, you act gay, or you act like a girl, before I even had the words to say those kind of things.

What were you doing to act gay? Like walking kind of swishy and liking Barbie dolls and pink, I had an Easy Bake Oven, that kind of stuff. Right, did you do that, Peter? No, I was really closeted. You never walked swishy or anything? I made sure I was not swishing. Oh my God, that's a lot.

I know. I mean, in New York, I would probably too. New York kids are scary. And Asian immigrant, that's a lot. I know. I mean, in New York, I would probably too. New York kids are scary. Asian immigrant, like yeah, Flushing Queens. You know those kids who are walking? Are you first generation? Yeah, so I had to keep it quiet. New York City kids are scary.

One time I was on a train in New York City, I'll never forget this. This girl was so cute. She was the cutest little, like she had on a backpack. She kind of literally looked like Dory the Explorer. She had bangs and a bob, and she literally looked like Dory the Explorer. She had bangs and a bob, and she was wearing a Dory the Explorer backpack. And then all these kids, like any New Yorker knows,

you do not want to ride the train between like two o'clock and four o'clock, because all the kids are on the train. And this little girl was so cute and her friends were getting off the train. And then as the doors were closing, she had her backpack and she looked so cute. She looked at her friends, she goes,

see you tomorrow tomorrow faggot really yes and i was like that's crazy really this cute little girl wait she said it to you no to her friend oh okay that was she that no she was she that i don't know if she was gay yeah yeah yeah but she because but i didn of myself, what a little baby queer, but I thought to myself, oh, what a cute little kid, and then she was like, see you tomorrow, faggot. That's a bad word. Are you guys offended by that? She sounds fierce. Honestly, yes.

Are you offended by that word? And that's the story of part of me. Do, am I offended, it depends on who's saying it, and how you're saying it. Like if I said it. Like in what context? That same one. Like you're on the train. You have a bob?

Yeah, I'm a bob, the whole thing, the backpack. Do I think you're gay? No. And is your friend gay? That's you. It's me. Yeah, I'm a fan of you. But we're friends. I know. But if it was like, but if it was, I'm trying to think of a context where

Bobby Lee could say f***, I wouldn't be offended. If he calls himself one. I think if there is a play and it's written for the character. Of course, Matt. Then that. Oh, so there's no other context. I can probably think of some, but not in this moment.

Okay, not in this moment. So Peter, because we're brothers Are we not brothers not lately? Oh Upset I know you know what you're acting like right now. Yeah, we're acting like right now. Why? That's what you're acting like okay, is this not a by the way I've this whole thing. This has been a play and you did it in the one context. No. Why are y'all not brothers right now? I don't even want to hear it.

Why? So when I... Just to be clear... Do you know what you did? Yeah, it's ridiculous. I want to know. Can I be the judge? Well, can I...

No, it's like same old same old behavior. Can I explain? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Thank you. Maybe Bob can mediate this so in December We just passed it. Okay Exactly. So we you know, I um, everyone knows my whole team knows I get really depressed during December and isolate

weaponizing your depression is kind of Kind of It's a little swishy. Yeah, it's a little swishy. She's a little swishy. Yeah, so, and everyone knows this, they're close to me and they understand that during December I kind of isolate,

I don't call people back, and I'm just like a Ronin. You know what a Ronin is? I don't. Okay, I'll explain it to you. A Ronin is a samurai without a master. Okay, got it. You know, back in the day, they used to just kind of wander a path, aimlessly going nowhere. And then a village could hire them to protect the village from thieves and poachers, I don't know.

But anyway, so during December, I'm MIA, every December. And if you were close to me, these guys never contacted me because they know that I just get, you know, I get so sad. You're in rolling mode. Right, so he kept texting me about bullshit, right? And I-

We'll get your side in a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bullshit, right? And I'm like, you know what? I choose right now in my depression not to text him back. Okay. Right, but then you forget that he's a little bitch. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm not done. Well, I want to hear.

I'm not done, Peter. Look at me right now, Peter. Sweet Peter. Are you mad? Yeah, I'm fucking pissed. I love it. But to be fair, it's no longer December, so you can't use your depression as a- Well, anyway, finish what you're saying.

Yeah, I'm gonna, you know, so Bob could decide. Yeah, so back in the day growing up, my dad used to beat me. Oh my God. Who cares? Who could he get beaten? Like every December? Every December, dude.

You know what I mean? When he knew you were already down. Ho, ho, ho! And then he would dress up as Santa. I'm going to say it's giving Santa Claus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was just a dark time for me, so I kind of like detached, you know what I mean? And then he, you weren't the only one,

there was a bunch of people, but they know they're not as sensitive as you. And they know it's- That's a nice thing. Yeah, yeah, they know, you know, this is Bob's, you know what I mean, Bobby Lee's December, his little Ronan move that he does, and we understand it, his mental state, you know?

So go ahead, Pete. Okay, first of all, I did text you on my birthday, his mental state, you know? So go ahead, Pete. Okay. First of all, I did text you on my birthday, which is in December, and you did text me back. Oh, I did or not? You did. What'd I say? You said, I sent you a picture

of me looking particularly good, and I said, look at how good I look, and you texted back sarcastically. Wow. That's good. Yeah wow that was a sarcasm I read it that's how you read it but I don't know I was like wow when I saw no you would never you 100% Bob Bob look at me right I saw I remember I saw the photo and I went shut the fuck up! No one believes that. Yes, everyone believes that.

No, you've never said that in your life. And I put it in the thing. I would say for a future... What is going on, EJ? What is this? What is that? From Taylor, I think. Is that the thing?

Oh, it's the... It's another cop, maybe. Oh my God. Okay, anyway, I don't know what the fuck is going on. To me, it is the future. You can send a voice note so he knows you're not being sarcastic. Right, yeah. And also, I did right back sarcastic

and then you didn't respond. And then you, so I figured you were texting back in December. Oh yeah, but- Right? Because it was like your- Here's what, you're texting back. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no've sold, a sitcom, thank you, that we need to work together at a certain point. Even in December. Even in December.

And I had a little bit of news to share and he wasn't calling me back and it got annoying to me. And then I start spitting out, I'm like, okay, is he mad at me? What the fuck, blah, blah, blah. I love you. Anyway. That seems genuine.

Yeah. Does Bobby have people that you can contact if he's not answering, like an assistant or a partner? I do, I do. Are you married? No. Siblings? Steve, there's no way you're gonna contact Steve.

That's 10 times worse. I would be going backwards. Steve is like October titty somewhere. He starts to fall. Anyway, whatever, it's fine. Okay, that's what it is? Yeah. You got that off your chest?

Yeah. How do you feel now? Better. Okay. Oh, that's nice. I think maybe going forward in December, you could take something like, hey, Bobby, I know you're in Ronan mode right now. And I just want to say that we do have some work to do. I'm going to thank you, Bob. Thank you. I'm going to text your assistant or your or your partner, your friend or someone. Thank you. Thank you, Bob. Because depression is hard. Seasonal depression. It's so hard, Bob. Seasonal depression is hard. And I would say, Bobby, if you have the ability to just be like, maybe an automatic reply text, y'all know I'm in Ronan mode.

You're probably going to do that. I'm in Ronan mode, just a picture of a lonely samurai. Out of office. An out of office text. And Bob, you know, I just took that note, next December I'm going to do that. There it is. Thank you. Oh, so can I just throw in my last two cents here?

Uh-huh. Right? I mean, it sounds like you already won, so you're kind of beating the dead horse at this point. I like, because when a horse is dead, I like to beat it again. Done, noted. And that's always been, my people, the Koreans, we used, throughout history, we re-beaten.

We re-beaten horses, just make sure they're dead. Noted, noted. So that's just a historical thing and my family, okay? So what, I don't know what you're looking at right now, guy, but so here's the thing, me saying wow, right, that's more than most people got. Can you prove that through your text? What do you mean?

Like can I scroll through your December text? No. I'll tell you what. It seems like we're getting more than a while. I'll tell you. No, because I'll tell you. You can go through mine. What?

You can go through mine. It's not that I'm scared. You can look through my whole phone and my phone, I don't give a fuck. But maybe I might find that there's a little deception. There's a little caveat in there. The caveat is pussy. Got it.

Okay. So I did text. Got it. Okay. So I did text. Got it. Okay. But you couldn't text your friend? Jules. See, this is why Jules is... No, I could not.

Did you get the pussy? Yes. Okay. So that's a win for me. ["Shopify"] Shop. Shopify. Shopify. I'm gonna sell with the greatest companies, right? And this platform is the best out there. Nobody does selling better than Shopify.

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all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Tiger Belly to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Tiger Belly. Shop. Shopify. Shopify. And which everyone you think about is you. You're the one. You are Neo. Everyone's watching. It's you, baby.

No, the one was Jet Li. Oh, that is the damn. Yes. Thank you. Great movie. Jet Li's, Jet Li's not doing well these days. Why? He's like sick.

Bring it up. He's like, he's like had a condition and he's not, he can't do a lot of that physical stuff he used to do anymore. That's him? Yeah. Jet he's not he can't do a lot of that physical stuff he used to do anymore That's him. Yeah, Jay Lee's not doing well. That's that's jet Li. That's not gently There's no way that's gently. He's a sick, right? Yeah. He had a condition. What is it? Is I'm not sure old well, he is older than he was but I think that no gently has a condition that is no the guy That left is gently No, gently has a good that is that is aged him more than most people wait that's that's so

hey yeah well he's worried he's doing well because he has a Montclair jacket on that's good I think physically yeah yeah he's got some money this is probably yeah but physically I don't I don't know where he's at now he's smiling I think I can beat him in karate right at that age he might shock you you think that we were you're saying that old Jet Li can still beat me up? I mean, probably. Cause he has years of training.

Yeah, he's no longer the one. Have you ever been in a fist fight? What? A fist fight. That's so rude, Pop. I'm not even gonna fucking give you the dignity even to answer that. And that's a...

Yeah, I have. Oh, you have. Have I lost all of them? Yes. Yeah, understandable. But I have been in them. Understandable. Has anybody hit your little soft skin? Um, and I do have soft skin if anyone wants to touch. Touch mine. Very soft. Oh my god. Exactly dude. Wow. Yeah. Now imagine your balls in my mouth.

I have not been hit in a while. I did get into the last physical altercation I was in I was 29 years old. Yeah, 30 what happened a guy jumped up and grabbed me during my drag show and I body Wow Video of it somewhere on the internet. Wow. I don't want to see it. So what did they grab you like a sexual way? No, he like I was lip-syncing and he jumped up and grabbed me and I was and he like, you know What's on grab you didn't pin your arms to your side? Yeah, and I was like, oh my god Like I was like, let me go. The music was still playing. I can't remember what song was playing.

I think it was maybe like a Nicki Minaj song. And I was like, let me go. And then I remember like, if you don't let me go, I'm gonna have to take you down. And then he didn't let me go. And I gave him a little hip toss to the ground. And did he get hurt? You know, he didn't get up.

That's not good. But he might've just been laying there from embarrassment or I think he might have been a little tipsy So it wasn't a fair fight. Well, you seem like you're a strong fella. I'm large I'll tell you six what six to a dainty six to I make it look like six six two But you got a great body. Thank you. Very strong. Okay. Yeah. Yeah But yeah, I mean that was my last compared to that guy You look pretty sure how tall you know, he's a melting game compared to that guy. You look pretty strong. I told you. No, he's a melting gay.

That's a gay out in the sun too long. Calling someone a melting gay? Bobby just called you a melting candle. That's crazy. No, I said gay. A melting candle gay. First of all, our bodies look very similar. Exactly. I'm not, dude, I'm not saying, but that being said, right? Being gay with our body, it's tough. Have you ever arm wrestled? I'll beat him in arm wrestling. Yeah, right.

I'll kill you. In arm wrestling? Arm wrestling? Yeah, what is that? What? What is this? This is my book. Oh my God.

Can I have a copy? Yeah, this copy's for you. Yeah, but okay. I mean, okay, the truth is, that is not a real copy of the book. This is an actual copy of the book. That is a copy of the book Medea wrapped in my book cover. Yeah, but okay. I mean, okay, the truth is that is not a real copy of the book. This is an actual copy of the book. That is a copy of the book,

Madea wrapped in my book cover. Okay, okay. I don't have a hard copy yet. Okay. Madea is so funny. And I don't mean, and not black Madea. No, the Greek mythology? Yes.

Oh. It was kind of weird that you thought I meant black. I thought you meant. Okay, come on. You said Madea. Stop it. I thought you meant black. Stop it.

That's crazy. It's not crazy. That's what Peter thought. I don't think there are media books. You doesn't write. You think media goes to prison would be in book form. There's no children's version. Oh, these are the people you surround yourself with. I know when text you back in December. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, fuck you, Peter. I'm the problem on Tiger Belly. Yeah.

Okay. I'm covering my book, Harriet Tubman Live in Concert. It's a book about Harriet Tubman coming back to life and she writes a hip hop album with a hip hop producer. It is a historical fiction, absurd novel. And do you read a lot? Yeah. Why not?

That wasn't convincing, but there is an audio version of it, you can go to readthedragqueen.com. Do you do the voice? Yep, I'm reading the book. Oh, then I'd love to listen to it. And that is for you. Okay, so this is Harriet Tubman, live in concert, a novel by Bob the Drag Queen.

Yep, the very one. Could you sign it for me? Oh, I would love to. Do you have a pen anybody? A Sharpie would be best. Yeah. Do you have a Sharpie? Yes, sir. And can you write a little letter or something? You know how they do. Anyway, so everyone check out the book buy it. It's great. Can you make it sound genuine? No, I'll be right. Look at me right now. You want to see genuine? Yes. Okay. Is that my camera? Yeah. Okay. It's been your. You own. Check this out. Just check this one out. Five, four, three, two. Hi, my name is Bobby Lee and the host of Tiger Valley. And what I like to say is I've never endorsed a book in my life, right? But if I were to do one, it would be this book. And I'll tell you why. I've

I just met Bob the drag queen and already he's a whimsical fella, right? And we're like two peas in a pod and it's almost as if I've known him my whole life. And I guarantee you, I know from the bottom of my heart that it's one of the best books out right now And if you're a real fan of me I implore you and I beg you to buy this book because if you don't Tragedy will come upon you And so you think that like getting sick is bad Right you think that like you know know what I mean, having like, you know, Ebola, right?

Straight from- Aids? No, not AIDS. Not AIDS. Not AIDS, don't, no. We're gonna have AID around us. There's two gays here, so that's- We're gonna- Gentlemen, we'll cut that part out.

Aids, AID. Thank you. I was gonna try to go non-gay with you, you know what I mean? You can't say sickle cell anemia too, because I can't read, so it it's like anyway, sickle cell. Five, four, three, two, one. You know car accidents. You think a car accident is bad, right? Something even worse is gonna happen. Well car accidents around Asians, that's crazy. You know it's so funny because I cut that out. Keep all of it in. Keep all of it in. Five, four, keep all of it in. Keep the sickle cell in, get the car driving in.

Anyway, so I implore you to watch and do it. What's the new... What? Say the book title. Harriet Tubman, live in concert, a novel by Bob the Derek Drag Queen. What's going with our show, Peter? Nothing? We'll talk about it when...

They pass. We'll talk about it afterwards. No, tell me now. I can't. I can't wait to watch you on Traders, by the way. Oh. Yeah, I'm so excited. Have they all gone out to peacock? Yes.

What's Traders? I thought you were here for Traders, you're here for the book. I'm here for all of it. What's Traders? Tell me what's Traders. It's a murder mystery reality TV show, hosted by Alan Cumming, Emmy Award winning,

by Alan Cumming, and it's like, some people are chosen to be. Is Alan Cumming Night Stalker? Yeah, Night Crawler. Night Crawler, yeah. The Night Stalker? Yeah, Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler, yeah. The Nightstalker is a murderer. Nightcrawler. And I think the Nightstalker has been caught already

in the 80s, 90s. He was Nightcrawler in the X-Men movie. Yes. Very good X-Men. Yeah, great. Very good one. Great. Anyway, it's a murder mystery television show

and some people are chosen to be murderers or traitors and that we have they have the It's a game show it's a kind of reality game It's like a big brother kind of game show kind of it's all for the gays. No, there are gays there There's six of the Cummings is a gay right? He's a queer. Yeah. Yeah, he's also Is he the one just to back me up on this he loves monkeys right like that What's it? Yeah? He was he was in um that Chimp chimp chimp chimp chimp crazy and he he did a movie with a chimp and He wanted to go see you know he loves them okay anyway. Oh

There it is traders. Yeah, the trade of this me. That's you wow go watch that too best show ever It's really good peacock January. You haven't seen it watch that too. Best show ever. It's really good. Peacock. January 9th. You haven't seen it yet? No. You would love it. It's a really good show.

I bet you would be good on it. Can I read it? Of course. This letter? Yeah. Okay. That's all I got? Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to spend the whole hour.

I know, but that's it? Yeah, that's all I got. And a whole book, by the way. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee loved the soaking method. Bob. There you go. Something personal.

OK. That's personal. Yeah. Can you put this? No. We'll put it later. Somewhere nice over here? They're going to put it in the trash.

No, no, no. This is going to be out forever here. There we go. Oh my god. Gang gang. We stand. Yeah. Gang gang.

Can I put this over there? No, not you, man. I can't touch it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw on TikTok that you said Harriet Tubman would win over Spider-Man. Yeah can't touch it. Yeah. Yeah. I saw on TikTok that you said, um, Harriet Tubman would win over, um, Spider-Man. Yeah, it's true. I would say Harriet, if in a fight, Harriet Tubman would beat Spider-Man. Well, one hair, Tubman, Spider-Man is rarely Harriet Tubman. No. Yeah. Who is it? Harriet, is that like Rosa Parks? She's much older than Rosa Parks.

But it's the same kind of guy person. No. so Rosa Parks was Rosa Parks. I'm fighting for my soul. You are from San Diego Rosa Parks is no they both fought for so Rosa Parks was civil rights. Yeah, what is Harry? I'm an abolitionist She was sunk him out. She was alive during slavery. She snuck him out Yes, she was the one who snuck everyone out and Rosa Parks more who the one who didn't get out. She won't be Spider-Man. No, she'll be Spider-Man for sure. No. 100%.

Nope. How many did she snuck out? So, how many did Harriet Snow tell us she snuck out? She saved almost a thousand slaves. Spider-Man would have done 10,000. But also, but also bear in mind, two, four, six. Oh man, Bob, that's six. Eight.

Come on, guys. When has Spider-Man ever faced against systemic racism? Answer that question. Whoa! What? A twink from Queens is gonna beat a black woman from the South. Who has no power?

First of all, she's very skinny, a very small. She was, you knew her. About five. You knew her. I didn't know her, but she's documented. She's about five feet tall. Okay. She was a... Not gonna do it. She's about five feet tall. Okay. She was a-

Not gonna do it. She was a pretty slim woman. Also, Spider-Man rarely goes up against anyone who has a gun, rarely. True. Rarely. Oh, that's so silly that you would- She carries the kind of guns-

Yeah, he goes against people with octopus arms. He carries the kind of gun that would, like it was a gun in the 1800s. This gun would fuck your whole shit up. It wasn't like a little beep beep and you get a hole. Right? Your whole shoulder would be missing. You know what I'm saying?

She went up against that. She also, she had superpowers by the way. What was it? She had, she could see things in the future. This is not a bit. Harriet Tubman would pass out because she had a trauma induced narcolepsy. And when she passed out, she would see the future.

That's how she went back and forth about 12 times and never got caught once. Oh out she would see the future. That's how she went back and forth about 12 times and never got caught once. Oh, she could see. So Spider-Man's little Spidey senses seeing like five seconds to the future, that's nothing. Heratum can see weeks into the future. Weeks, also the navigation skills of this woman. She, what, Spider-Man's navigating New York City,

it's on a grid. Just walk, as the numbers go up, you're going north. It's so easy. Herod Tum was navigating the woods. If you get Spider-Man out of a building where he can't grab onto a building, what's he gonna do? Grab onto what, the ground? Okay, I agree.

But Herod Tum is not better than Strider. Who's Strider? Who's from Lord of the Rings? Oh, I've never seen Lord of the Rings. Because he can track fucking Orc. Who's? From Lord of the Rings. Oh, I've never seen Lord of the Rings. Yeah, because he can track fucking orc. I've never seen Lord of the Rings. He puts his ear to the ground and he knows where the orcs are from like 2000 miles away.

But also, Herod's heaven literally has God telling her where to go. Look at that, look at that. But Herod's heaven literally. He's better than Herod's heaven. So when Herod's heaven falls, God would tell her where to go and what to do. God would tell Herod's heaven where to go and what to do. What? God would tell her to go and what to do. He knew that.

I'm not religious, but she was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's a bullshit. You can't prove that. That I'm not religious? No, you can't prove that God was communicating with her. Well, she went back and forth 12 times and never got caught. She had narcolepsy.

She was five feet tall. She couldn't reach. How far was that? We don't even know how far it was. She went from Maryland to Canada. Oh, that's pretty far. That's pretty far. On foot.

You're right. She didn't call a Waymo. All right, but can I say something too? Of course. Were you there? I was not there. I'm not that old. Exactly.

But it's well documented. By whom? By Frederick Douglass. Yeah, I don't trust that guy. By... And let me say something about him. Yeah, there he is. I don't trust that guy. Let me say something about him. Yeah, there he is. I don't trust him. He looks like Apollo Creed.

This man was also one of the smartest men alive at the time. Did you know him? I did not know him personally. That's based on things? No, no, no. I want to see this too. Let's get this out in the open. For years you guys claimed that you invented peanut butter but you didn't.

He taught himself to read. What's the guy that created peanut butter? That's a different person. I'm just saying what I'm saying is that. That's George Washington Carver. Yeah right but he didn't create the peanut butter he stole it. No he did not say he created peanut butter. But what he did was he found out how to make peanut butter while having never gone to Asia.

So with no information on it on the other side. So for example if you built a computer and someone else built a computer completely separately, you didn't steal the computer from them. You just also found out how to build a computer. Also, and also to be clear, George Washington Carver, peanut butter is the least, the least of the things that he figured out how to do with peanuts. The literal least. I bet you have some lube. Over a hundred things. He did create oil with peanuts by... I love them. I'm just kidding.

I'm just being devilish. You don't even know who he is. I love them. I love them. Here's another thing. We've had this debate before. Another thing that you've debated. Another thing that you guys invented that I just found out.

What do you mean you guys? Black people. Okay. The doorknob. The modern doorknob. I don't know about the door knob. Look up there. Who invented the modern door knob? Before you'd have to just... What was it before? It was that you push it or whatever, but he... You know what I mean? Well, you open a door and you open it. What's the guy's name?

Oh, no. Osborne Dorsey. Look at this guy. An African-American inventor invented the modern door knob in 1878. He was issued a US patent, this one, for his door holding device. And we still use that doorknob today. Congratulations, Osborne Dorsey. And I honestly think that you could play him in a biopac. Who? I mean, probably. Was he gay?

No, you can act straight. You don't know if he was gay. Were you there? Did you know him? He could have been like, hey, these doors, I hate pushing these doors.

You're right. Exactly, but now you get my point. We don't know. That's my point. He could be, he couldn't be not, I wasn't there. I didn't know where Osborne Dorsey, okay? That's my point. You claim Harriet Tubman.

It's well documented. Right? It's documented. Exactly, but you still, I wasn't there, dude. So we, I wasn't there when you allegedly were depressed cause your dad allegedly beat you up. Yeah. But I took your word for it.

I took your word for it that your dad beat you up. Even though I wasn't, I didn't see your dad hit you. I never saw it, but I took your word for it. I took your word for it that your dad beat you up. Even though I didn't see your dad hit you, I never saw it, but I took your word for it. I believed you. I believe people of color. That's different. That's different. And you don't believe black people.

Oh, whoa. You don't believe, because I don't hear you challenging any white people. There are two white men in this room and you've given them more respect than every person. No, there's one. No, you guys don't know there's one. I only hired one white.

He is Mexican. Latino, Latino. But I would say, this happened off camera. This happened off camera. We all walked in, Bobby Lee literally bowed to the one white man. He said, you are my God. That was crazy when he did that.

He did it. He literally went this and he said, you are all of our God. I never did that. And can you prove it? Were you there? Were you there? Were you there?

Did you see Bobby Lee not bow to the white man? And then you used your soaking method on him. Split the balls. I saw it. You split the balls right to the middle. You take that back. I would never soak him. And you did wondering lonely man in the desert on him and you made us watch him.

I would never, okay, you won. Very good. So, Herod Tubman did all those things. Right, okay, you know, everything's good. Okay, I believe you. Thank you. You're right. What I did was twisted. It was crazy and honestly, I do believe in black people.

Ned, do you want to apologize to Peter for what you said to him earlier? About what? All the stuff. Yeah. No, I will not. Why? I refuse. Why? Because I'm not black. Yeah, that's why. That's exactly why. That's exactly why. Yeah, I believe in it. You have to say that. I believe in it. I believe in it. Don't put that. Don't put that out. Yeah. yeah. But my point is that I refuse to apologize to you. Okay? Even if you're wrong?

I wasn't wrong. But if you were wrong, you would apologize? Yes, of course I do. You don't refuse. Do you feel like you've ever been wrong? Towards you? Yeah. No.

Do you think he's been wrong toward you before? This entire time. There is. Our whole relationship's been wrong. No, I'm kidding. Is that what you're saying? No, no I'm kidding. Is that we're saying no No, I'm be real look at me dude, right? I wronged you in December. Is that there's anything? I was thinking about that. I pissed I was pissed and I you know, I apologize. You're right, dude

I should have texted you back. Thank you. All right, Bob. Thank you. I should have done it, right? We never hear this by the way, it grows. We never hear this. What the fuck up? Yeah, yeah, fuck off dude. So anyway, I apologize to you and that was my bad. I was depressed, I was going through some things, but I should have been more mindful and I do love you and that was my bad. Are we good? You on it?

Okay, yeah. Would you like to apologize to, I've never done anything to her. Is that true? Cause we believe women here. I believe them too. Especially women of color. Jules, be open.

Say all the stuff. There was just one time. Okay. Oh, I can't wait for this. I mean, you did recently ask her if she knew what a drama teacher was. Which is very belittling to women. There was just one time. Tell me the one time. I mean you did recently ask her if she knew what a drama teacher was Tell me the one time because I have some things too I can say about jewel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so go ahead

Do you have one? Yeah, I have some too. Yeah. Okay, put it on table then Yeah, just what happened with the other podcast. Oh, really? Oh, you got real. She ate you up with that one. I don't even know what it is. You got real. You got real. You were really upset. Yeah, and you called me like 20 times because I wouldn't pick up. That's right. And you were going crazy.

I was going crazy, yeah. That was my bad. Wow, it's strange that you wouldn't even bring that up. I've never seen a joke. Because the things that we're talking about are just kind of playful. You said anything! That was a of playful. You said anything! That was very serious. She does dark comedy. Everyone knows that Jules does dark comedy.

Classic dark humor. Yeah, you're right. What's yours? I don't have any. I don't really have any. That's the manipulation tactic, where he makes it seem like you're nice, you're great. You're nice. You're sweet.

You're right. I'm a bad person. I'm horrible. A lot of people just manipulate you though. They'll make you feel like you're right. You did so many good things and I was the bad person. So I guess I'm just a piece of shit. Oh, I hate that.

I dated so many of those guys. We've all turned on you. All right, it's time to vote someone off the island. All right, what do you mean? You think I do that? You really think that that's a technique? All right, yeah it is a thing people do. Yeah, I don't know you well enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting because I want to see if I do that. You don't do that. I don't think I do that, but it is a good technique I'm gonna use. You gave me an idea. That's a really good thing.

I'm gonna say something really offensive and mean and then you back off you go, you know what? You're right. And then it clears you an abdicate. You're like, I'm actually good now because I acknowledge that the thing I did was bad, but it gives you carte blanche to keep doing the bad thing. Wow, that's fucking tight.

But you're assuming that they don't actually mean it? No, he knew that the thing he said about hair is having was shady, but he was like, if I just apologize in a few minutes and go, you're right, then I can just say more shady things about more shady. Yeah, but the thing I said about Harriet Tubman was just for jokes. Do you think you can beat Harriet Tubman? No, she can destroy me.

Thank you, that's all I wanted to say. And what she did for American history was- She's a patriot. A patriot and amazing and a hero. She's a veteran. You said something crazy about Peter Parker. That was the only argument. You were saying that she's better than Spider-Man and I had to fucking defend that. I mean she is better than Spider-Man. But she's not better than everyone. Like for example, the thing about, he's not. Spider, whatever we call

him. If you were fighting a criminal, like if someone was robbing a convenience store and you fought them versus Spider-Man fighting them, it'd be more brave if you do it, because you don't have any superpowers. But if Spider-Man does it, it's literally like, Superman is not brave unless you have kryptonite. He can't be hurt. So if you walked in, he walks in just fucking,

you know, slinging his fucking kryptonian dick around to do whatever he wants. So you're saying that superheroes aren't brave, they have the power, that's what that means, some confidence. Some of superheroes aren't brave. They have the power. That's what that makes them confident Some of them aren't brave It depends on the level of superpower you have if you have a shitty superpower then like Batman could be brave Batman has no power besides being rich and white right so that's if he's brave then which is a superpower I think it is the superpower yeah, yeah, very very interesting my friend very very interesting

You almost twirled your mustache like a villain, you're literally twirling it right now. No, but that's an interesting concept, that's an interesting concept that superheroes aren't brave, they're only brave because of the power that they have. Yeah, they're fighting. If they were regular people, they would be just like us. Right.

Yeah, so if I had a superpower, I'd'd be considered brave unless you're fighting someone else with a better superpower than you or all right power so it is brave for X-Men to fight other mutants but it's not brave for X-Men to go beat up someone robbing a bank yeah he's walking in fucking so is there let's talk about superheroes so there's not a lot of Asian superheroes, right, that they've written. There's, I mean, maybe not enough. I know one. Can you know one? There's a whole movie.

Chang-Chi? The Eternals. Oh, Eternals. The Eternals are all Asian? There's two, the Korean one. There's two. Yeah, and Camille, right? Yeah.

Sunfire is an X-Men that people, they haven't used them in anything. Maybe Jubilee. Not Filipino, Jubilee, Jubilatian Lee. Jubilee is an X-Men, yeah, she's Asian. There's five. Are there, so let's talk about the black ones. The black ones are Bishop.

Here we go, Cassandra Cain, Shang Shi, Dr. Light, Colin Wing, Silver Samurai. Oh, there's a lot. Sunfire is up there, yeah. This is not, Jimmy Woo is not a superhero. The agent. They included the FBI agent, Jimmy Woo. Yeah.

Silk, Katana. Silk is I'm a dais Cho What is a Wong do? The name I'm a dais and he is Asian yeah, no, there are a lot of black heroes You know a lot of like there's Bishop I can't know me a lot of them have lightning powers for some reason Yeah, like storm. They are like what's his name static shock? What is it about electric you guys I Some have lightning powers for some reason. Yeah, like a storm. Like, what's his name, static shock. Static shock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black lightning. What is it about electric that you guys?

I, maybe we invented electricity, maybe you don't believe it. Um, no, but of course you'd make us proof it. Wait, wait, did black people invent electricity? No, I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thomas Edison discovered electricity. Thomas Edison, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I mean discovered, it's not electricity, it's yeah, yeah. Thomas Edison discovered electricity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean discovered, it's not electricity, it's like discovering fire. Right. Like electricity exists. Who do you think discovered fire? I mean like someone's like, ooh.

I would say black people maybe. I mean probably, probably someone on like Pangea. Pangea, yeah, yeah. Probably. Yeah. Maybe. But isn't the oldest bones that we've discovered in Africa or not? Lucy.

Lucy. Her name is Lucy. Who's Lucy? Lucy's the oldest remains've discovered in Africa? Lucy. Her name is Lucy. Who's Lucy? Lucy's the oldest remains ever discovered. Really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And where was that discovered? Africa, I believe.

I'm thinking Ohio? Toledo. In Cleveland? Discovered in Ethiopia. In Ethiopia. So that's the oldest, so you guys were the first man then? Could be. Yeah.

Lucy's a woman. Yeah, woman. But then, okay. But then you guys probably discovered fire. So you invented fire. I mean, discovered, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Interesting.

You do stand up a lot? Yeah. I've been a stand up for 16 years. I would love to see, I'd like to get you on a show that I do. Oh yeah, I just did Margaret Cho's show at the Lyric Hyperion. Yeah yeah yeah I would love to do if I do a Bobby Lee friend somewhere I'm gonna have

you on it. I would love to come. If you all want to see my stand-up you can go to my you can go see wokemaninaddress.com which is my award-winning comedy show stand-up special. Yeah this guy's a beast. Are you doing stand up too Peter? He's so good. Work, that's amazing. He's so good. I did a show recently and I didn't realize

until I got there but I was like, I'm the only person who's not Asian on this show. What show was that? It was Margaret Cho's show. Yeah. It was on it. Oh my God. No, no, just try it off hand.

Off hand? Off hand, look at me. Just say Asian name. Amadeus Cho. Ooh. Stomachy. No, no just try it offhand The guy who always does he does Lin-Manuel Miranda impersonation Dylan Adler Dylan Adler Yeah, that's a and the lady who sings have to have okay lady who sings she has a she's a rocker with a guitar she's from New York her name is Charlene Yee yeah she has like an old lady name Charlotte yeah and then and then Robin Tran okay yeah yeah yeah yeah she's funny that's a Charlene is that who's that no that's um what the Charlene Kay Charlene Kay oh so it's a Charlene. Is that who's that? No, that's um, what's the Charlene K? Charlene Kate. Oh, so it's not Charlene. You know Charlene K. You're Charlene K. Oh, I see I do yeah, what's it called? It's called sibling rivalry

Wait, what? No, oh, it doesn't Oliver Hudson and Kate Hudson have one. That's sibling revelry. Oh, your rival And mine is I think maybe more popular. Who has more? Yeah, yeah. Kate Huston could never! If you never will, Kate! I'm coming for you. And what is your podcast about?

It's me and my best friend arguing. You don't have guests? I see your clips all the time and do people ever say like I'm the Bob? Yes, always. Okay. So you all get that I'm the Peter. I'm the Bobby. No, we don't do this often but I feel like every time I see your thing. I'm always like I'm always agreeing with Bob I would never with Monet Monet if you agree with Monet more you're probably more of like a

Like a theater kid like a flighty kind of like feelings and vibe and if you agree with me more, you're probably more of like a... Like a theater kid? Like a flighty, kind of like feelings and vibe. And if you agree with me more, you're more like, I like facts, I like things that are real. Logical, assertive. Yes, exactly. And we do have, the thing is my podcast, my co-host, she likes... I don't wanna be on it, I'm just asking, God. You wouldn't do it if I asked you?

Oh, of course I would. Okay, yeah, yeah. Please. She likes to interview people. Please, please, please. And I like to just have people as guests. I like co-stars, she likes doing interviews. She thinks she's fucking Oprah or something. And I'm like, I don't like the,

and so tell me about your eat, eat, eat, eat, because I usually don't care. You think that I did that with you or no? No, no, no, I feel like a- We're flowing. I feel like a guest or a co-host. Yeah, we're flowing. Yeah, yeah, we've been flowing.

So, Bob, what is your ultimate goal in showbiz? I mean, right now, you know,'m living my dream. I'm doing my stand-up comedy. I have a couple of comedy specials. I've written my book. I'm writing a musical based on my book right now. So I don't have like an end game because when people reach their ultimate goal, what do you kill yourself? Yeah, exactly. And I'm not against it. Yeah. I might one day. But yeah, I'm more like, my next big goal is to write my musical for Hairy Tell Me Live in concert.

And I'm going on tour in Europe. By the time you're all watching this, I'm already back from tour, but I just finished up maybe like, we do like 45 shows from Australia, North America, and Europe. And so I'm writing my next hour. That's my current plans, yeah. Australia, North America, and Europe. And so I'm writing my next hour. That's my current plans, yeah.

I had an old man came into me years ago in my early 20s. Was he white? He was actually Asian. And he was white. He was white yeah I just didn't like your tone and I lied and I feel shame for Red Bull Rob. Get him a Red Bull please Rob but but white. What's so dumb about it? They're in the fridge. I lie.

So yeah, he was a white guy. And he said, this was pertaining to sobriety. And he goes, kiddo, if I sat down and wrote down, if you stayed sober, all the great things that will happen to you, you'd be cheating yourself because you're gonna get way more things. And that's why I've never had a goal. I feel like-

Was he advocating for not getting sober? No, he was advocating if you stay sober, things are gonna happen that you're not even gonna dream of. Even if we wrote down what you want out of life, you're gonna get so much more than what you write down. So I never really write down what I want. I just kinda like, and it's been true. There's been things in my life

that I never even dreamed of doing and that I did. And I think the key is to just put one fruit in front of the other and take risks, like we all do, you know what I mean? And be brave. I've done some stuff in my career that wasn't on my plan at all, but it was like major things.

I was like, I would have never even dreamed. Like I did, I got asked to go on tour. I got asked to host Madonna's world tour. Completely randomly. I was, I got a phone call one day. My agent was like, Madonna wants your phone number. And I was like, why have you not already given her my number? You should look it up, they're pitching me Madonna.

And the next thing I know, I hosted Madonna's world tour. 80 something shows. No! Yeah, Madison Square Garden, the O2 Arena. Oh my God. The Mercedes Benz Arena. And I was like, I would have never been like, this is on my list of things to do.

Are you sober? Yeah, I am. How long you been sober? Yeah, I've been sober. Three years in January. Oh, work, nice. You in AA? Yeah, yeah.

Me too. 16 years. Wow, you're an old timer. Yeah, it's not a competition. Yeah, it is. You're a winner. But, work, nice. You in AA? Yeah, yeah. Me too. 16 years. Wow, you're an old-timer. Yeah, it's not a competition. Yeah, it is. But tell them how long. But I could mess it up at any point in time. I know, I know. I have a question. Before your three years, you had... I had 17 years in sobriety. Oh, work. Welcome back. I went out. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, go ahead. If an 80-year-old Korean man came up to you and said to you, I am Bobby Lee from the future and I have a message and it's really important.

What would he have to do to convince you that he was actually you? I would know as soon as I saw him. He's 80 though. It doesn't matter, I would know exactly when I saw him. He wouldn't even have to say I'm Bobby, you'd be like, you're Bobby Lee. That's me, what happened?

That's the first thing that would come out of my mouth. Does he look good? What happened? No, he looks like shit. Of course he looks like shit. I'm gonna go, what happened? What should I not do? Right, and he's gonna tell me.

What would he say though? He's like. Give me a scenario. You're 80 year old Bobby Lee. So I'm like, I'm. Excuse me. Hold on, I gotta be doing something. Sorry, I'm not gonna.

Set the scene? Yeah, so. Good object work. Just figure out what I'm doing. Excuse me, I know excuse me. Well, hold on. I gotta be doing something. Sorry. I'm not my guy set the scene. Yeah, so Good object. Just figure out what I'm doing. Excuse me. I know you're uh, well, I know you're working. Oh my god. What happened? What I would have I have to tell you this yeah, what? In three weeks from my time or your time from from today Oh, yeah, you wouldn't be your time cuz you wouldn't know in three weeks right yeah by the way that's right so in my time mind you it's mind you it's november right now yes in three weeks you're going to get a text from who it won't be about pussy you have to answer the text it's going to be from your friend peter If you do not answer this text, you're going to end up like this. You could change everything in your life

and you have to respond to every text Peter sends you. You have to go to the future right now because I want you to explain because I'm still- I have to go goodbye! Oh wow. I would do it. That's 80? That's good. Yeah, if that guy came up to me, I'd be like, that's it. That's 80? Wow. Yeah.

That's good. Yeah, if that guy came up to me, I'd be like, that's me, dude. You look like old Hitler. Don't say that guy looks younger than you. You look like old Hitler. Yeah. Oh my God.

Okay, that guy is cute. That's me. I know, that's a cute guy. Yeah, I'm old, Bob. You have Frederick Douglass hair here. Yeah, this is what old... You guys have the same though. So you had the same thing, you're projecting.

When you pulled something in yourself. Yeah, you're right, I have Frederick Douglass. Oh my God. Are you wearing an Apple watch in the 80s? You are from the future. You from the future. Oh my God. You went back into it. Yeah.

You're so cute, Nep. You're so cute. Thank you. I was 22 years older. How old are you? I feel like they had... Pictures didn't have to be in black and white when you were 22. Yeah. The one place in San Diego, that's all they be in black and white when you were 22. Yeah, the one place in San Diego. That's all they did.

Black and white. Yeah. And he charged me three hundred dollars for that. In what year? Nineteen ninety four. That seems you got overcharged. I got overcharged for sure. Yeah. And he was super rude. He's like, you only get one shot.

But it's a good picture and you look really good and you look happy. You look funny. It's a good comedy picture. What? It's a good comedy club picture. Yeah, that picture's at the La Jolla Comedy Store hang out. Yeah, that's my first headshot.

You ever go to those comedy clubs where they only hang out pictures of dead people? Which one? Like those comedy clubs where they like, they have paintings and murals and you can only be on the wall if you're dead. I don't know what comedy club that is. There's a few of, I've been to a few like that.

Yeah. Are you, is your photo up in any comedy club? is. There's a few of, I've been to a few like that. Yeah. Is your photo up in any comedy club? No, you know, it's weird because I've been doing comedy for 16 years. I started at the New York Comedy Club. I used to work at Caroline's. I used to work at RIP to Caroline's. I used to work at Comics and the Meatpacking, RIP to Comics. Broadway Comedy Club, Gotham Comedy Club.

But for some reason, because I am a drag queen and I got my rise to fame through reality TV, a lot of people actually do not know that I'm a stand-up comedian. They think, so when I come to clubs, they think that I'm going to be like a TikTokker who can tell jokes. And then they go like, oh my God,

you're actually a really funny comedian. I'm like, well, we sold it out, it's packed in here. You know, it's so funny, this is a very good point because I made this point to a comic earlier I said not today got a little boogie where on the right nostril I can if you get how long I was gone yeah how long was it there I noticed it maybe like literally how long was it there maybe like two like maybe like two minutes ago when you say two fucking minutes ago Bob I wanted to do the the old man bit and I didn't want to disrupt it so pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop That fucking pisses me off, Bob. But I told you pretty soon, within three minutes.

E.J., you're supposed to do that two minutes ago, you fuckface. All right, sorry, give it to me. Okay. What are you doing? Okay, so what I was saying the other day is, I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this. But I was, oh God.

This is where you draw the line? Yeah, yeah. I was at a club the other day, I was, I was. This is where you draw the line? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was at a club the other day. I was looking at the lineup and I said to, I go, this line is terrible. And. Who was on it? What? I'm not gonna say it, but.

Give me their initials. And our point, the point was, is like, if we just booked it based on who gets the most laughs, it would be a completely different lineup. But we don't do that. It's more loyalty and who's been around that gets on. You know what I mean? Where was this?

I'm not gonna tell you. And you feel like they do it by seniority? The seller has hella gays. The comedy seller? The seller, yeah. I know. No, my mom's seller. The book seller. The bookseller.

Your mom loves the gays. Loves the gays. Yeah, she loves to pack her basement with those gays. God, I hate you. But my point being is that even other nationalities and color, there's so many other people I would choose before the ones they put up. But it's out of loyalty and that kind of thing

before anything else. And I hate that. I did a show there once. And it was pretty tough. When you're the only gay guy on a show and the audience is just primed for some straight white man comedy. And there are some funny straight white men.

I'm not here to say that all straight white men aren't funny. There are some funny straight white men out there. But it was me. I can't even remember who all they were, but I remember they were big names. It was like Patton Oswald was one who's really funny, actually. He's the best.

Actually, as if that's a hot take. Believe it or not. He is a guy and he's straight. But he's not like a machismo. No, no, alpha male. He's a Disney character. But I mean, there was like some like, He's got it too.

There was some like, What's up with women and their pussy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, my wife won't shut the fuck up. And there was one lady on there who was like a guys comic. She was not a ladies comic. I cannot remember her name. I don't even know if you said it.

But she was like a comedian who's like. Did she kill? She didn't kill. But the vibe was like really, they were like we want some straight white man comic. Then I came out and honestly my bits were really fucking funny and that got them on my side, but the amount of work I had to do

to get them out of the straight white man, like, ah, what's up with these pussies? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is up with them? Yeah. It's interesting comedy has now, there is now a real alpha male, like, you know. There's like a bro-ness.

It's like bro, that's a bro. I'm still kind of a part, I think I'm a part of that, no or no? Like in my ecosystem, there's a lot of bro. You are. Yeah, yeah. I would say when I think of you as a comedian, I don't know that I consider you bro-y, I think you're kind of part of the,

a lot of comedians are goofballs, right? But you're the, like, I'm not afraid to get naked and show my balls. That's me. But I'm not afraid to get naked and show my balls. That's me. But I'm not really gonna. Here I am. But I'm not gonna hit you in your balls as a joke. Yeah, yeah.

Like I'll show my balls, but like, you know the bro, like nut tap. Right, yeah, I don't do nut tap. Yeah, you don't sound like you're doing nut tap. Soaking, soaking. Yeah, more soaking than nut tapping. Nut sucking, but not nut tapping. But I don't, I mean, are you, you're bro-ier than we are,

the three of us. I know, but still. There's like a class of comedians that are bro-ier. But the people, my group of guys, you know what I mean, like Theo and these type of guys are like more in the bro. Oh, Theo Von is like bro-iest of bros. Yeah. Are you like, are you and Joe Rogan in the same class?

Yeah, we're in the same, I'm the same he's like the president of the pros Yeah, but there's a little bit of Mark Barron and me too though You know I mean, you know, I'm sort of kind of in his thing too. So but um, I you're like the altiest of the bros I feel oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, is Santino a bro you think yeah Yeah, I don't know he's like a golf bro, you know,? Redhead. Red hair. I do a podcast with him called Bad Friends. I'm sure it's a great podcast. I'm sure it's fantastic. You know what, dude?

We were doing fine. Anything you want to, I want to say, Bob, would you come back here? I would love to come back. I think we have good chemistry. Yeah, I agree. I think it's good. Yeah, this is really fun.

And I also enjoy your friends as well. Yeah, yeah. They seem like- We got to come back too. And your crew is- We got to do this again. We, this is really fun. And I also enjoy your friends as well. Yeah, yeah. They seem like- We gotta come back too. And your crew is- We gotta do this again. We gotta do this again. Yeah, 10.

I had a blast with you. Are you kicking me out now? We just do an hour. Oh, that's fair, that's valid. Super valid. You wanna do more? Oh God. Who's that? It's me doing standup.

What is this? Oh, this is my special, this is my special welcome in an address. Check it out. Please feel free to go check out my special. It is available for free on YouTube and I believe it was the wait wait wait wait stop please pause for a second are you gonna try to name that club no that's that's how you perform yeah I didn't know that yeah I

mean I do I do set up out of drag too if I'm doing someone else's show I don't get in drag for other people shows but. But your headlining shows, you do get in drag. Yeah, if I'm headlining, I do get in drag. Oh, you do direct. That's interesting to me. Do you feel like you owe your audience that? Sometimes, sometimes I feel like they won't want to come see me if I'm not dressed up.

That's crazy. But I also love dressing up. I like to dress up. It's not like a means to an end for me. I want to dress up. It's kind of like how like, like. Oh my God, would you put Bobby and drag? Bobby on. Yeah. Bobby. You don't have any daughters, right? No, I have a few. You have a few. What does

daughter mean? Like a drag girl. Like I taught, I got a mentor them to drag. I want to be a drug daughter. Honestly, Bob and Bob, Bob and Bobby. Let me be a drug daughter. Whoa. This could be a documentary. My favorite documentary is Paris is Burning. You have to shave the goatee though. A lot of people, they want to keep the goatee. I'm not going to be here. Can I keep the mustache? No. He can't glue it down?

What about prosthetic? How long does it take to grow it back? 43 years. I don't have 43 years to grow this back. You have to shave it. Yeah, I'm not doing it then. That's your thing? That's fucking crazy.

That's my thing. These are my standards. You shave yours? Did you see my face with a beard on it just now? So you haven't done it in a while. What about pictures of me in drag? I haven't done a drag show since my US tour ended. So yeah, I've been out of, but when I dress in drag,

but there's nothing wrong with bearded drag. I don't want no bearded drag queens out here coming for me, but not in my house, honey. Not my dog. Not in your backyard. That's nothing wrong with bearded drag. I don't want no bearded drag queens out here coming for me. But not in my house, honey. Not in your backyard. That's me all... And that's Madonna. That's Madonna. What's she like? She's pretty cool. I mean, a lot of people expect a crazy story, but bear in mind, I met Madonna in her 60s. So there is no crazy stories. She's not... I don't think she even really drinks. Like she'll like hold a glass in her hand, but she's not even really drinking. I don't think she ever really drank, to she'll like hold a glass in her hand, but she's not even really drinking.

I don't think she ever really drank to be honest. But have you had dinner with her? Yeah. Oh you have? Yeah. That's exciting. Madonna is what you expect. She is funny, she's kind of a diva.

She's kind of a woman in her 60s. She has six kids. She is the queen of pop, but also a mother of six, but also a boomer. Are you nervous? No. When you're having dinner with her? No, I'm very comfortable around Madonna.

Very, very comfortable. I would be so nervous. She's a really cool cat. Who was at dinner with us? We did, we have like a film dinner. We were promoting her tour. There was some comedians there. I've had dinner with-

Meg Stalter. You don't know Meg Staltzer? You know Meg Staltzer. Of course. Yeah. She's for the girls. She's in Hacks. Oh yeah.

Yeah. And then what's her name? Kate Berlant? Okay, yeah. You don't know Kate Berlant either? He's the other side of comedy. Like this is our side of comedy. He's the other side.

He's the bro side. Kate Berlant had a show on Broadway. He doesn't know Broadway. He refuses to watch Wicked. Yeah, no, yeah. She's gotta go. She's gotta go. It's not good.

It's the, you haven't seen it. I refuse. It's the theatrical event, unhand me. It can't be. It is the theatrical event of the year. It's not. What is? It is.

What is then? Nosferatu. Nosferatu is the theatrical event of the year. A complete unknown. Great movie. Okay, so what's your problem with Cynthia Revo or Ariana Grande or... You know, it's for joy. Or Peter Dinklage.

You don't think that's just not in it. He plays the goat. He plays the goat. Yes. Oh my God. No, cut that out. Yeah, I want people to think I'm funny. Please don't leave that.

Anyway, anyway, thanks for being on the. You have to see. I won't. So what about when people are talking about it? You don't feel left out? My group never talks about it. No one has ever come up. No one's ever, it's never come up in my group.

I guarantee you Santino has watched it. No, he refuses. Why? Really? Yeah, yeah. Really? It's a... You guys have to go watch it.

She has said poor... I know. This is why. I can't fucking believe it. This is why. When she asks questions, you're like, do you even know what a fucking drama teacher is? You don't?

I never said that, I never said that, Bob. I think you also gave her this accent she doesn't have. This is the accent. Yeah, yeah. In fact, I had a friend that was the Greenwich and the actual Broadway version. I was in New York, her name was Nicole Parker. She played it for a couple of years and she was like,

you know Judd Apatow has come and all these people have come. Can you come see, I know you're in New York. You didn't come? Why? Because it's a- I'll have lunch, I'll have lunch with you. Because it's a good show.

But you'll go see your friends do stand up. Yeah. And you know Halft is going to be horrible. I know what it's about. What is it about? What is Wicked about? Okay, let me just get, if I'm in the ballpark, let's say, okay? Okay.

There's a school, like a witch school, right? Ariana Grande. It's not a witch school. Whatever, Ariana Grande is there. She's the popular girl at the witch school. Okay, that's true. And then the green one comes, which he was a witch school. Whatever, Ariana Grande is there. She's the popular girl at the witch school. Okay, that's true. And then the green one comes, who's a witch, a green witch. She gets bullied and teased.

Okay, this is true. But they bond together. The good one and her. And then at the end... Well, you're a little bit wrong, because Ariana's not really the good one. No, she's a bad one. Yeah, the green one is a good one. I know. Yeah.

Right. But they become friends or something. They double up. And at the end, she's pushed in to be the bad one, the green one. I don't know what happens, but am I in the right ballpark? You're in the ballpark. Why would I need to see it then? Because it sounds like you have seen it. Because you're...

It sounds like you've seen it. Do you watch it? You're at home under your sheets like, so if you had to find me, look to the western sky. Help me out and act like you have everything. So people won't think you're up. I've seen the movie four times. I saw the movie four times.

No. You're lying. Dude, look at. He's seeing him. You're lying. Why did seeing him! You're lying. Why did you have to lie about it? Why did you lie? So look, check Roppel.

Alright, so library. This is my library, right? Recent movies. Purchased movies, right? Wicked. I was right! You're under the sheet! You are under the sheet! Why did you break this down, Bob? You know every lyric. I've seen it four times, I love it.

Do you think you'd have been good in it? Yeah. Do you think that if you were younger, you could have been Bowen Yang's character? And older. Well, Bowen Yang, well, you couldn't be a college student. Oh yeah, no, then. But Bowen, but you can't.

I did not remember Bowen. Could you have been Bowen Yang's character? I don't care. I would never do it. But it's a good movie. And I don't believe it. You probably auditioned. No, I didn't audition. Oh, trust me, I wouldn't, I don't care. I would never do it. But it's a good movie. And I don't believe you. You probably auditioned. No I didn't. Oh trust me I wouldn't. I didn't audition. Do you audition? I do. I never get the big ones. What's the biggest movie you've done?

The Dictator and Borderlands just came out. Dictator's a big movie. Yeah Borderlands came out with but that didn't failed. Dict, Dick Hicks is a big movie, bigger than anything I've ever done. I've done a bunch of movies in my life. I did a couple of Harold and Kumar's. So you do the big ones. Yeah, so what? You said you never get the big ones.

Lately. Well, I don't think it's down top forever, unless you're like Meryl Streep. Exactly, thank you. Or you know. But you're doing pretty well, you're not on the bottom. You have done Sex and the City, I've done some guest stars. Not a movie. Were you in the movie?

Reservation Talk. Were you in the movie Sex and the City? We're talking about movies. Oh, bro. He's a big movie fan too. Bob, fuck off dude, okay? I love you. Let's be completely honest, okay? I never saw Wicked.

You bought it and didn't want to? I haven't seen it yet. Anyway, give Bob a round of applause. Give Bob a round of applause. What a great guest, right? Peter, give him a round of applause, everybody. Yeah, yeah. And thank you. Please come back.