TigerBelly - Chris Distefano & Madison Square Garden Comedy

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Chrisy D is a gay woman. Bob is gaping. Khalyla has a popliteal fossa. We chat BTS, dolphin tattoos, shapeshifter whites, a Korean trick, and Kung Fu Panda. Wondering how to get started? New customers visit www.draftkings.com/audio and use promo code BELLY to claim a FREE starter pack! Only at DraftKings dot com slash audio with code BELLY. www.sleptkingdom.com

Music Yeah, dolphins. It's like for girls or like little kids dolphin. Let me ask you about dolphins. It's like being fan of like the Brooklyn Nets. It's like, it's not a real franchise. It's not a real problem. It's like it's for little kids.

Let me say that man, if you're with the guy, why? You're a dude. You're in Vegas. Okay. Just to follow. Let's do the scenario. Okay. You're at you're at the wind

You're by the pool. I'm at the Cosmopolitan September 30th That's like Okay, can you just delete that part? Okay, just leave that or whatever because that's that what this shows about tickets moving quick I'm not gonna you know me and I'm not gonna endorse it. Okay. I'm not on the campaign Okay, and you're gonna have to believe that out because I don't want that. Okay, on my show. I mean, just this promotional stuff.

It's silly. And I feel used sometimes. So don't do that. Yeah, I wanna talk about dolphins. Okay, right. And where are you playing? College of Politics in September 30th. Radio City Music Hall, September 22nd,

Theater of Mass and Square Garden, September 23rd. And people just heard no? Huh. Boop, boop September 22nd, Theater, Mass, Square Garden, September 23rd. And you, what, people just heard them? Huh. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, That's it, baby. I'm bleeping all that shit. What's up, thick? I don't know, you know thickies?

Thickies, that's my baby. Oh, what? I sleep at his house. Really? He's got Revenant face. And I'm not sure. The beard isn't incredible. That's your gold beard, right?

I'm not sure. Oh, you've been the wood trend? Years? I'm a baby. You see, I'm all. Hey, looks, his name is Zachariah. Zachariah, thick. Zachariah, thick.

Boy, I ask you something in the end. You're a big, I'm one of the guy. You're the guy. Okay. Right, you meet a guy, right? You were gambling. You met a guy, I like this guy. Cool guy, you know?

Then you're at the pool. He takes a shirt off. There's a gigantic dolphin. But when it's not even like, you know what I mean, just, and I mean, just like, right, jumping, you know how, you know how dolphins have jumped out of the water and act off a fool. Breach, right, the act of fool. That's what I call it. Play around. Yeah, I mean, they like to showcase their little

gaited bodies. Yeah, yeah. What do I do? That's tattoo on the chest or a real dolphin. You think he has a real dolphin? I don't know. He's able to his chest. We're their dolphins in Vegas, right? Like, I don't know if he's gonna make it. That guy would hang out with. Yeah, I would hang out with him.

I still hang out with him. Oh really? I still hang out with him. I think that he's still fine. He's into the sea life stuff. He's probably got drugs, you know? Oh yeah, he's definitely got drugs. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he fuck around with him a little bit. I don't mind a dolphin tattoo on a man's chest. On a lower back is more of an issue for me. Okay, he had one on his lower back. Lower back, no. Okay. No, no, no, no, I don't like lower back. On the chest, I don't mind.

Some of the sexy about the chest. Okay, what is the dolphin, right? Is like blowing a manatee. Okay. Oh, right, so there's a manatee. What do they sound like? Gokko? Oh yeah. Oh they're like monks. Yeah. Yeah. They're like sea monks. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right. That's what they sound like when they come. Thick. And then the dolphin blowing them right. Yeah. Still you would hang out?

I would hang out, because I'm more open to new experiences now. So I'd hang out with them. I'm out with them. This is the new you. I love them. I would hang out with them. I would hang out with them.

As long as he has, like mine does like me, as long as I say to him, you have a dolphin on your chest, you have a manatee on your ass. The only question I have for you is, what are you gonna do come November 2024? If you're gonna go do the right thing, you're my guy. You're gonna go the other way? Fuck you and your test.

Okay, so I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. So I have a manatee dolphin gate. That's doing my check. Yes, we're at the pool, right? And then you ask me a question, go ahead. Yeah. Hey, I like you.

Trump. Yes, come back to my, yes, I'll fuck you up. We fuck room 24, 14. Oh, we fuck right. That's right, I'm gonna leave the door. You just did this with your, right? You did this. When you and I have a cult, because we're gonna have one.

This is a thing. Yes, so everyone's to, I've never seen, I'm gonna be the next Christie. He's got to be in the, he's got to be in the call. He's in our call. Oh yeah, 100%. But he's like the janitor guy. Yes.

Like he cleans the, you know, the communal toilets, right? He's the enforcer. He doesn't enforce. No, he doesn't enforce me. He's burly, he's burly. He's burly, but he doesn't enforce me. Okay. Right.

He might enforce you. Right. Right. But I'm gonna be like, hey, get your thick guy away from me. Yeah, because Koreans are all right. He's trying to enforce me right now, and I'm like, no, because you guys are back. Koreans are back. We've always been in.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're back. We never went away. No, Asians are big. Asians are back now. Asians are big. Well, tell me about it. Asians are big.

We tried to get them out again with the whole Maui stuff, but it didn't work. They're back. Yeah, you tried to burn us out. We tried. Yeah, you're like energy weapon. We tried. I know you're the one.

I know you're the one. I know you're the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, there's still kids missing, but you know. No. Yeah, I'm kidding. Yeah, I know you want. I know.

I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be the whole of money. I don't know if it's going to be to Maui. It's not this dude. It's not this dude, it's this. This is something different. Yeah, yes, that's Hitler and this is our thing.

Because this points to our mind. I like the white nail polish. Thank you. We have matching toes too. Oh, matching. So you match its fingers with its toes. No, our toes are matching. Oh, toes are matching.

Yes. Also white. Yeah, white. I mean, the whole dude. Woo, I like that. You do? Yeah, because you know, you guys are who you are. I, white. I mean, behold. Woo, I like that. You do? Yeah, because I, you know, you guys who are who you are. I like it.

I like your energy with each other. You're a snow bullshit. There's no bullshit around the fact that. There's no bullshit around this. I like that. Let me get out, because I know something about you, you know, and I know that you, probably only agents you fuck with. Yeah, I fuck with, fuck with you guys as agents. Who else do I? I was Ronnie Chang, I fuck with. Yeah, I fuck with you guys as Asians.

Who else do I, I was Ronnie Chang I fuck with. I call myself, I have a stage name at the comedy salon. I'm on the lineup as Donnie Chang. Yeah. So I'm on Donnie Chang. So I fuck with Ronnie. I don't know that he loves it, but I definitely fuck with Ronnie.

Well, you're at a point now in your career where you get to change your name on the lineup. I only change my name on the line up because I'm doing big shows in New York. So you wanna, you know, when you were doing big shows in that city, you want everyone to just go to those big shows in New York. It's funny that you say that

because what I do then in that situation is just not playing New York. Yeah, but I want to be, because there's so many different cities and now you're just money-grubbing. No, but Boppy, I'm not even getting paid to do a comedy seller or any of those. Now that's my point though, you do, you wanna Boppy, I'm not even getting paid to do a comedy seller or any of those. No, that's my point though.

You do want to do the big, I'm not being controversial. Right. And I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to like, you know what I mean, do what you do. Right. But what I'm saying is, you're doing the big shows in New York,

the theater shows, to make money, but there's other cities. So when you're not doing the fucking New York shows, and just play the seller, and so we can advertise. Because, for me personally, for me, I, for me, I'm, what's this right now?

You know what that is. And, you can, I know, but I don't like that in my face. You're gonna have to deal with it for four years. I know, what is that? What kind of person is that thing? He's from Atlanta. No, what, no, and Lantis, or?

No, Atlanta, from the South. No, this is what, this is what the enemy looks like He's not white though. He's is what he identifies as white, but he's not there's I feel like there's a mixed with like Well, no, he's actually he's actually the bet no no, he's white He's white, but he can also pass as Mexican or Islamic is but he is white on first of shape shifter white Yes, I love shapes just because this right here, he shifts into one thing, white piece of shit. That's it.

Right. He's your very rare Catholic shape, shifter. Normally, he's juice. Whoa. Because if I saw a photo of him with the people that did 9-11, whatever, like in the plane or whatever, it looks like it. Yeah.

I'd be like, oh yeah, I buy that guy. No, but he's not. But then if I see him in the 1940s, out in California farming, yeah, with the Mexicans, you know, I mean, yeah, no, no, I don't know why in the 1940s, you know, I mean, but he looks like a 1940s Mexican. He does. How true do you think his shirt is? Stand up, Bobby. Is that a true statement? No gaping holes here. Um, do I think it's a true statement? I would say it's a pseudo truth.

So I would think that, I would say that it's a pseudo truth, that it is true, it's a baseline truth. I think at moments of the day, for sure you're gaping. I don't think that you're always gaping. So I want to say that it's true now, but through the lifetime of you wearing that shirt today, I think at some point today you will be gaping, because I don't think that with the experiences

you've had in your life and the things that you've done in your history, you can't not gape a little bit each day. Oh, I see. That gaping progression. It's almost like an accordion, like, you know, it's a pressure system. It depends on the barometric pressure.

If you're going to higher elevation, if you're taking a flight, there's no way you don't gap. But if we're at sea level, you know, you just told me you just woke up, I don't know that you're necessarily fully gaping right now, but you will gap at some point. So no gaping holes here might be true right now at this moment by the end of this podcast.

I don't know. The lila is gaping all day every day. LAUGHTER With that, she's in the head of the gay pride parade. She says she's just too keeping home. I'm a gay, pure gay. John Wayne Gacy. That's right.

Very good guy. You're very good. Thank you. I appreciate it. Don't do that here. Slow, be slow here. Look at that, I love it, I've never wanted to do it here. I gave during seasons. To be fair.

Yeah, yeah. I like it. Christmas. Okay. Why Christmas? Memorial Day. Nice, yeah, nice. I like it.

Probably something to have with Santa. Maybe Black History Month. I'm gaping big time doing black history month. I love black history month. Yeah, good month. It's a gigantic hole there. My point is, I don't know why we, why did you even, because we're talking about,

we're talking about Tonya, we were talking about your toenails matching and things like that. And then she said, do you like a shirt? So you said to me just before the show that you come to L.A. and you only do, now you're only doing some podcasts. Well, because I just feel there's an oversaturation, right? With all of us, I also feel like,

I wanna talk about that. I also feel like, for me, it's like, what do I wanna do with my time? I mean, I wanna hang out with you guys and talk to certain people, but then what am I gonna do? It's like, I'm selling enough tickets for me from my own good where I'm like,

I'm having a, I don't need to do anything else, anything more than this is like there's a problem. It's just problems. It's just a fucking star. No one's not. He's a scary. No one's not. He's got a different loythe star.

No, no, you sell tw- He's a scary tommorow. Oh, you know, I do Madison Square Garden now, so I don't fucking- No, the theater of Madison Square Garden. Not the real Madison Square Garden. The little one. But you, you sell twice as many tickets as I do Madison Square Garden now, so I don't fucking- No, the theater on Madison Square Garden. Not the real Madison Square Garden. That's the little one. But you sell twice as many tickets as I do,

but I'm telling you, me and my own world, I don't sell tickets like you do. Yes. And that's a factual event. Are you? Yes, you guys do. You have much to do. Together.

Okay, but you have much bigger podcasts and much, you probably have more podcasts, if you use more money coming in, more tickets being sold, but I'm saying that's not true. That's not true. I'll let you have it. I'm saying I'm okay. I'm okay with what I have in my life.

That's why I'm involved. I don't need to go do all the podcasts. I just want to talk to the people I want to talk to. I don't care if I get, because I'm saying if you told me all you'll some more tickets doing this, but I don't want to talk to them, I want part talk to. I don't care if I get, because I'm saying if you told me all you'll some more tickets do in this, but I don't want to talk to them. I one point in my life, I do that, but now I'm like,

I'd rather just have lunch with Dickey. Okay, let me ask you another question, Ben. All right, let's divert from your own ego. Digo is the enemy. I'm totally kidding, you're a humble guy. No, I'm not. And I love you. And I honestly think that my honest truth is, you know,

is I just think when you're one of the funniest guys on planet earth. Let's move on from that. Well, tell the people in Kansas City that because it takes it's hard and selling. That's a tough market. It is, you know, I mean, the uptown theater, shut up, uptown theater. Yeah, it's a tough market, not doing well. So, um, do you have a fear? Because sometimes it's fear arises within me because I'm a human being. I'm so very sensitive That you know that this because we kind of hit the jackpot. You did you did you did you guys did we all did we all did we all did We all did okay. Sorry George, I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. Let's go back to being relaxed and I'm gonna show that that's okay Okay, and do you fear that it's gonna go away one day?

No, because I feel that even if it does go away, I would just be thankful for the time I had with it, because that's what having kids, my whole life is about what my kids, as long as my kids are taking it, like you said, you're gonna take this away from me, but my kids will stay be okay, then I wouldn't care. And I would just like, what a great few years I have. I know how many kids I know, but that's, but you know. I wouldn't care. And I would just like, what a great few years I have. I have many kids.

I know, but that's, but you know. I don't have that thing. Are you gaping? I'm gaping right now. Yeah, this is all I have. That's okay, but it's okay if you guys don't have kids. It's okay, I'm, we're not even together anymore.

I don't know what the fuck you're doing. What? What? What? What? What? What? That was so good.

Oh my god, you're quick. So quick. So good. So my god, you're quick. So good, dude. So good. That's a matter of the Square Garden Conference. That's what it is. Radio City, sold out, take it still available. Yeah, yeah.

I think that it doesn't matter if you have children or not. It matters like if, you know, I don't think you should base your whole existence and your importance and your well-being and you as a human being on what you're doing in your career That's what happens Japan. That's why they have such a high suicide rate suicide rate in Japan So we will they call it a sui wui rate. I was a high sui wui rate in Japan is because they Write that down because I never heard of that sui wui We will be right so we will yes, can you write that down George? Sui we will write I gotta do that later

I'll never have the company men the Japanese the company men they have a high suicide towards Sui Wui Raid? I gotta do that later, because I've never heard that. The company men. The Japanese, the company men, they have a high suicide rate, Sui Wui Raid because they identify only with their career. That's all they are. That is, you know, embroidered with them. What's that Sui Wui for us that they love? The Sui Wui for us. In Japan. Oh yeah, where they could kill themselves.

That, yeah, it's a haunted Sui Wui. Yeah, I love that Sui Wui for us. Yeah, because you go in there and you're like, oh, there's a bird. Yes, as you do. Right. In a forest. Right.

There's a tree as you do. There's a yellow body hanging from the tree. That's different. Yeah. That's different. That's a suite where we think. That's a suite where we think. And it happens.

Yeah. And it's because they, they, you know, there's more life than just your career or money. They're little people. How do they get up there? Because they're little, they have less weight that can get up there quicker. It'd be harder if they get up there.

Like a spider mug. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, are doing it there. I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I just imagine it's sort of like a party. Right. I think I would do, I would, you choose medication. Like I wouldn't want to hang myself or hurt myself. I would want to just, I would like, you know, take a bunch of pills. Maybe I'd take like a bunch of ozempic and just slowly, something, you know what I mean?

I would, yeah. I would do pills. But that was a very pretty girl way to Sui Wui. I feel more connected with females than I do males, but I'm not gay and I don't pretend to be, but I do feel more like a woman than a man, but I'm still attracted to only women. I think my personality, my soul might be a gay woman. So therefore I'm still with women

and only attracted to women, but I do think I'm a gay woman. So therefore I'm still with women and only attracted to women. But I do think I'm a gay woman. I understand. Yeah. I would kill myself with propitia. Nice. Because I want a full head of hair when they come. A full head of hair.

I know, but we even thicker. Oh, you want me to take it? Maybe some of my face even. Yeah. Like if I took like 300 propitia. Yeah. Don't you think I would look like this guy? You would.

But on the upper cheek, maybe. No, but the thing is Koreans they can't grow facial hair. It's almost impossible. You can't ever get that. Nobody in Korea has that. Who has that in Korea? Seriously. And seriously, I'm gonna tell you something, all right? In a year from now, you're gonna look at my face

and you're gonna go, they can do it. Interky, interky. Interky. What do you mean in Turkey? The Trans-Beer Transplant. All beer transplants in Turkey. Okay, yeah, but I'm talking about natural Korean. Natural.

Two things, they can't really grow facial hair and they don't have any smell to their sweat. That's true. That's an enzyme thing. That's the truth. And we don't have Brazilian butts. You do have Brazilian butts. Yeah.

You said Koreans do. You've seen a Korean with a Brazilian butt? Hey, Brazilian butts are all, you're talking about BBL or just a big butt. The kind that Brazilians have. She's a big butt, that's a big butt. big but that's what Koreans men and women have the same butt You can't tell a man from women from the butt you can in other cultures with not What it is at least in South Korea I don't know North Korea

What you're saying Yeah, I'm serious. Yeah, I Don't do this you're happy to hear his boy. I don't want to do this way Sit here. Come on Don get on take it. Don't Don doesn't want to be on podcast is in the writer strike Yeah, so you're at a Korean strip club. Yeah, all right Yeah, don't look above the tips. Can I get some strip club music please? Gale. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo Yeah. Everybody. Yeah. Everybody. Woo. Yeah.

Yeah. From the front, he would know you would have to be back up. From the back. Not from the back at all. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know why I turned around? Tell me.

Because from behind, he was already sold on it. Right. So in his mind, he's like, I don't care what gender now. Right. So now I can reveal myself. Right. And he's still smiled. Right. So that's a Korean trick. That's okay. Yeah. I like, yeah. But that's what you're doing. Korean War. Yeah. Korean War. People don't talk about that war enough. Well, you want to go to history. No, not really. I actually don't know much about the Korean War. Neither.

I know there was bad. But do you, there's two things I want to ask you. Let's, history, let's put that aside. OK. Here's another thing that I want to ask everyone in the room. And this is something that's been plaguing me for the last 10 years. And you're going to think it's a joke.

And you think it's going to be like, oh, what is he even talking about, right? But it's a real concern for me. OK. and you think it's gonna be like, what is he even talking about, right? But it's a real concern for me, okay? Okay. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ DRAFT KINGS! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ DRAFT KINGS, RAINMAKERS, FOOTBALL,

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I don't think that you could achieve the level of success you have if you were dumb. I don't think that anybody who can get to your heights, God bless you, take that. I'd rather if you think that it's luck or you don't deserve it or anything, you can't be dumb and get as high as you've got. And I'll say the same thing to flavor, flavor, flavor.

You can't, you won't, you won't, you won't, you can't. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, it's procedure. That's not even funny, dude. I look at it. Yeah, can I be somebody else? Yeah, somebody, your Korean, Larry the Cable Guy. High levels of success. So smart. You smart. So intelligent. He's not dumb.

But you play what is genius about you is that you can convince audiences to get behind you. The only way to play dumb is you have to be exceptionally smart. So you're exceptionally smart, so this way you can play dumb much better. If you were actually dumb, the audience would see through it and you would just never really make it to anything.

You're like the Paris Hilton. Yes, Paris Hilton is smart. She really is. I'm Paris Hilton? Yes. You know who's dumb? Bernie made off. She really is. I'm parasilton? Yes. You know who's dumb? Bernie made off. He's dumb. All right.

Guys who get caught and got their dumb. Why? You know, really, really, do you think that they're intelligent, you know, the woman, Theranos, she's dumb. Yeah. You know, like you're in jail for 15 years, too. Theranos, you know, that is dumb. Theranos is dumb.

Theranos is dumb. You want to get rid of half of the population? Yeah. That's what I have. We'll see. Yeah, stupid. He should be like, I'm going to get rid of, of the population? Yeah, that's a lot of pussy. Yeah, stupid. He should be like, I'm going to get rid of half ugly people. Yeah.

If Thanos said that, I'd be like, oh, I got it. Do it, do it, yeah. Imagine all the hotties still alive. Right. And Thanos, I go, you know, let me stick my glove in your twat. Oh, what? Oh, what?

What, twat's not a good word? I like twat. Twat, I think twat is acceptable, more acceptable than cunt. I don't think people have cunt. I don't like cunt. I don't like, I bleep that out. I'll tell you that right now.

Oh, for, you can't, you know, versus clean podcast. We bleep out dates. Can I ask you, I'm not minge. Minge? Minge I'm not familiar with. I've heard it, but I would never think about minge.

Cunt, twat, I would say my-to slang name for vagina would be pussy. Pussy's the bus. Or your box. I would say, let me see your box. The box is a little too thick. It's just too hard around the edges. No one likes it. You would have liked it.

She got a nice box. No, no, no, no. Let me ask you, no. It's also jagged in her heart. Like, this thing is like wooden. If I see a girl and her vagina's box shaped, yeah. Am I Lego land? Right, right?

So like the Lego land. Yeah, I want to do arts and crafts on your pussy. Yeah, I don't want box. You want box, I like whole, circle. Whole. Circle is better. Whole doesn't even sound soft pussy sounds soft. No, we're going to symbols though.

Like what's a shape of a triangle? I know, more time. I think an oblong. Oh, oval. An oval? An oval? An oval? I like that.

Yes, let's go, say oval. Anyway, can I go back to my problem? Oval. I used to play, grew up playing basketball, a place called Farmers Oval. Now it's known as Farmers Pussy. Yeah. Going on play.

So you might not have any interest in what I'm gonna talk about this. No, I will. I will. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, You're a film guy? I'm not, I'm gonna talk about this. No, I will. I will. You're a film guy? I'm not a film guy, but film and music and kind of nerding out about that and knowing about that, I didn't do that at all when I was a kid. So I don't know.

So you've never done it? No, never. I don't know. Well then I don't really want to bring up what I want. But I want to learn, but I'm in a learning phase. Well, because I've been watching something and I'm like, what's your take on it? But it's like, if you haven't seen things, then I don't. Well, maybe I have seen it.

You don't know. Have you seen Alien? No. Oh. Oh. Oh. I love it. Well, you've never seen Alien.

Never. I've never seen the Godfather. I've never seen. Wow. Well, I said, why? I don't know. You've got to sit down and watch those things. No, I don't even, I don't even, I don't watch it.

I don't, yes, yes. Okay, I mean, have you heard of alien? I've heard of alien. Is that what you're going to do? Is that what you're going to do, weaver? Yeah, so based on alien and what you've seen in the posters or whatever in pop culture, what do you think it's about? Alien, I think it's about an alien coming to earth,

coming to terms. Yeah. Coming to terms, I did it. Coming to terms, I didn't. There you go. With them identifying as an alien. And that being okay. And I think that it's about an alien that I would assume goes into a town or a village and starts killing everyone in Tagorni,

weaver saves the day. On earth, you think? On earth, yes. Which is different than predator. Predator and alien, I would get confused a lot, it's different movies. They're completely different movies. Okay. But they did fight each other on a couple of movies.

Yes, they did. Okay, so you're completely wrong. Okay. All right. So what I was... I'm okay being wrong. And I'm okay that you're right. Sometimes.

Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I know what that means. Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah, it's about to this. Yeah, so I want to... It's okay that you vote, right? Right. I'm okay. You don't know how to, it's okay that you vote, right? You can vote Republican, he will, by the way. I don't know, I'm just, I'm just,

I'm just gonna say this. He's gonna do it. My politics are my own. Yep, right, but same with me, but I have to be honest, and you know this. Yeah, he's not in the middle anymore. No, I'm in the middle. No, he's in the middle, but he's not in the left anymore.

No, I wasn't the left. You are, but you're in the middle. But then he just watched the US and the Holocaust that Ken Burns documentary. And I feel like it's he's he's he's starting to lean. I'm going back left now. Going back left. The US and the hot yeah, yeah, Ken Burns, good stuff,

but the the the I'm it's politically in the middle too, but I know where you're going. Most Koreans Asians go they they're sneaky about it, but they go right Indians. Yeah, it's actually the Indians go right big time. They they want to lie about it. Oh, look at me stop the Asian but they go right Indians. Indians go right big time. They want to lie about it. Oh, look at me. Stop the Asian.

You go right. It's I want to say the extremes on both sides are so annoying to me. They are on both sides. That's it. That I have to be in the middle now. Right. The left is so annoying to me.

They're so annoying. Right. And the right is so annoying to me. They're both right. They're both right. Yeah. Extremes are on, so annoying. It just needs a regular guy. Anyway, let's go back to the, let's go. All right, go back.

The question I was gonna ask, which there's no way you can answer. And I'm gonna move on after what my question was. Try me. Maybe I'll go to him, all right. So you have alien completely wrong, but anyway, there were these other movies that the last couple of alien movies were what?

Let me ask you two, three, and Prometheus. Prometheus? And the covenant. I rewatch those movies. What would you think? They don't make no sense. See. The one with my-

They don't, they don't. Have you seen them? Oh my God. With Michael Fastbender? Yeah. They make- No, but let me not have to cut this part so boring. I just wanna hear.

I'm gonna tell you. I'll tell you, okay. I'll tell you what the aliens are about. It's not, there's no alien, it's a Mexican guy. Okay. Let that sink in. You're reactionally, that sink in. Why are you laughing?

It's a good move. Yeah, anyway, right? There's a fucking scavengership, you know what I mean? Owned by a big corporation. Okay. This is in the future. Okay. They're flying around, they're going back home

after mining on a planet, as they do. As you do. As you do, right? Yeah. And they're in these pods, sleep pods. What for hyper sleep? What do you call it? Cryogenically sleeping.

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, frozen. Yeah, frozen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Frozen, yeah. Frozen, they're the frozen. They froze. Okay. And anyway, the ship detects a beacon, an emergency beacon. What do you call it?

A distress call on a planet. Okay. There's nothing on the planet. It wakes everyone up on the ship, right? They go to the planet. They put the suits on. They walk around. They see a guy named Jesus.

Okay. And he was like, hey bro, what's going on? They're like, what the fuck is going on? Hey bro, let me look at your face, right? And then he opens his mouth and he attaches his face to the other one of the astronauts, one of the guys, sticks his tongue in his mouth. That's called anchor baby. Is that? Yeah.

You attach yourself, when they'll do the Mexican, they'll attach, and then they'll get the citizenship. Oh, oh, so if I'm in Mexico, I'm walking around. I see an anchor baby coming my way. Yes. I decide they're like, you know, they're gonna anchor them.

Right. They hook their tongue into my tongue. Yeah. They attach, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's, I can't talk.

Right. Yeah. Hey, can you look, I can go. Right. What would he say? The anchor, but yeah. Yeah. He, he, he, he, he, what, what you're attached?

Well, I'm an ex-c... We're attached. Nice, good. I'm a teller. Oh, I'm a teller. No, I'm an ex-execate. We're at that. Nice, good. I'm a teller. Oh! No, I ain't gonna come with you. I see. I go home with you.

Right, so then I get to the border, what happens? To the board. Well, you said he's become, I thought you were saying that he, I would attack, I'm the anchor, baby. I see you. I attached to your face, and then I thought I'd become you. And then I've anchored to you. I have you a citizenship now. Is that what we're saying? No, what you're I thought you were saying. I

That's two different. Yeah, we're talking about the thing. I thought you were saying that if I'm in Mexico And I'm actually got anchor babies my face. No, and I had to go across the border But he's certainly attached to my face now. They have to go Give me a green card. Is that what you're saying? No, I was saying that alien. You were saying with alien with the dress fall from the planet. Forget it. They're getting that's what the aliens about. All right. Aliens out about that. I was longing. Okay. Comedy purposes. Yeah. Okay. I was I thought. So anyway, I thought I was a story of the migrant. It's not. It's not. Well, Why is this one alien, one Mexican guy on a planet?

How do you get that? I don't know. I mean, they used to make a crazy movie called Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer. They used to make a story. Oh, that's why I'm saying it can happen. Anything can happen. Anything can happen.

Anything can happen. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I believe that. Yeah, I believe it. I believe it. They think they think it would, they say, Abraham Lincoln was gay.

Two. Big gay. Really? That's what they say. What are they? Why did they think that they just um not concrete Conclusive evidence what they Gaping hole Marfanoid dude and he have like Marfan syndrome. Yes. Yeah, those long fingers. Yeah. Oh He was gay, but he had Robert De Nero syndrome. Yes. Is that what you're saying? Yes feel burst syndrome. Yes They love that's a syndrome, but they like black people the president before Lincoln James Buchanan was gay. He was gay

How do we know he was a free? He had a boyfriend. He was open about it. Yeah, no first lady. What no first lady They used to call him they used to call him Miss Nancy who else in the US history do we think is gay? Abraham Lincoln gay can we go to we go back to Abe Lincoln real quick Abraham Lincoln gay he had he was he has a black dick finish Yes, yes, he goes. I need I don't know what he sounds like But he's gonna sound like this and my thing right yeah, you're gonna sound like Trumpy kind of but um, yeah He's a it was Republican. Yeah really Lincoln. Oh, yeah, there's so much black dick in the smoke and they're in slant. How do I get to home? Is that right? Yeah, he's like

civil war. Yes, yes, civil war. Yeah, right. And then when they all got freed, he had a party at a party. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think yeah, I think he did. I think you like black cock Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think he did. I think you like Black Hawk. You're first. You're first. You're first. Can we go back to Alien?

Yeah. May I? Yes. So anyway, he goes on a plant. Everything's fine except for the max against. Right, there's no max against. OK. They see these little pods, right?

A pod opens up. A little creature comes up, attaches to one of the faces of the scavengers or whatever, and then he lays the egg, they get back on the ship, an alien creature pops out of his chest, and then that's the alien. Got it. Okay, okay. Fair enough. One alien destroys all the, you know, kills everybody except for Sigourney weaved.

That's the vibe. Got it, except for Sigourney weaved. Yeah, that vibe. God, except for Sigourney we have to, yeah, that's the vibe. So that looks like my sleep apnea mask. He has, do you have a CPAP? No, I, but I, it's a warm enough habit, but me too. Yeah, he won't mean to have it too. You have good blood pressure?

He doesn't, he has high blood pressure. That's the thing, go on low-sardon, 10 milligrams small. I'm on a load of pain. What's on load of pain? Same. Same thing. Okay, so do it. I am doing it. The pressure's down. a low to peen? Same. Same thing. Okay, so do it.

You take it and... I am doing it. The pressure's down. It's down, baby. Okay, good stuff. You're good, though. I don't know why we're going down this alien route because you don't know anything about it,

but let's go back to intermittent fasting, too, that helps. With the snoring? With weight and blood pressure and sleep. Don't eat too late at night. Don't eat like three hours before bedtime. That helps. That helps me a lot. That helps.

Yeah. I cannot, like, I'm very tossy-turny. It's eating, you can't eat like, eat in a six hour window. Remove on. From it. Yep. I could just get to my point.

But I also think he has a little bit of a short neck. He does. And he could be a mechanical thing. He does have a short neck. He needs to see an ENT maybe. Yeah. He does have, he truly, yeah, he does have a bit of a short neck. My you just see an ENT maybe? Yeah, he does have, he truly, yeah, he does have a bit of a short neck.

My people are short neck people. Yeah, they are short neck people. The original Franken signs. Excuse, we were. You were, we had Franken, yeah, Franken-necks. Seriously, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they were just called Franken-necks. Yeah.

Well, it's interesting you say that because, you know, my uncles and still they sound like Franken-necks a little bit. No, I know. The whole Franken-necks time for sure. Forbid. They Frankenstein a little bit. No, I know. The whole Frankenstein for sure. For B. They've made it off, correct? Give me Kisu.

Yeah. And they kissed me in the mouth. Yeah. Wait, I met some of your family this past weekend. It's not how bad about them. No, no, no, they were really tall. Oh, but they don't want Theo's podcast? Yeah, go.

No, they were tall. It's surprising. Yeah, David's tall. He's six foot. Where do you get the hype from? Because probably, so my dad and David's mom are brothers and sisters, the dad's tall. And he has nothing to do with my bloodline.

Right, he gave the gift, that gift. My dad's a fucking umpa Numpa from Pusong. Okay. And he's like, Maroda Yelipa Kauroto. Maroda Yelipa Kauroto. Love it. Right?

Yeah. I love that. They should do a Korean version of. They should do an Asian version of Wizard of Oz. Right. But you change it a little bit. Right. No total.

Because they would aid them. I know. Right? Yeah. So you can just cut out total. Yeah, they cut him out, right? Yeah. Fucking the Tin Man. He's janky because it was made in China.

Yes. I like it, right? Yeah. Scarecrow, no brain. You still want to UCLA. Nice. So smart. I like it.

Still smart. Yeah, we're still fucking smart. Yeah. Yeah. The lion. What is his courage, is this thing? What? The lion's courage. I like it. It's still smart. It's still fucking smart. Yeah. Right? Yeah. The lion. What is his courage is this thing? The lion's courage.

Yeah. No, the lion would have been eaten too. Right. Oh, they would eat the animal lion. They would eat the animal lion. Any animal that's in it, those flying bats, what are you? Right. No flying bats would have been not in the movie, right?

The lion, they would have ate that the total. Anything animal like, they would have eaten, they would have eaten one oompa loompa. They're like, I think that's who being. That's just taste human. And then Dorothy, the red shoes, yeah, he'll click. Except this time, take them off, pedicure. She's giving pedicure.

Whoa, dude, we got a movie here, dude. She's a manicure. I'll take you another level, dude. You gotta change the road to red. Yes. Were like CCP? No, because if it's still yellow, the actors would vanish into the... You wouldn't be able to see them on the road.

Dude, to be honest with you, I didn't even know you were wearing a shirt. I thought you had no gaping clothes. That's what I'm saying. And that's the illusion I wanted to give. Right, right, right, pants, right? So, um, and then, we could, which of the East, we keep our East. We keep it, yeah, because she's from the East. We could, which of the far East?

That's what we changed. Very far East. The very far East. Yeah, very far East. Yeah. What else do we put in it? What else do we put in it? Well, you know about the Wizard of Oz. Yeah, Yeah. Okay. I know about the Wizard of Oz. I

think that I think that what you have is is so far so good. Yeah. Yeah. We just make um I would make uh what's her face? Who played Dorothy? Um Julie. No. Uh Judy. Is it Judy Garland? Judy Garland. Judy Garland. Judy Garland. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Keep her in it. Um did she die? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. That's it. Keep her in it. Did she die? Yeah. Did she die a while ago? Yeah. I would put...

Exume her? It will exume her. You want to exume her? Oh, the Japanese, they probably figured it out. Yeah, they'll figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but Judy Garland, no, I don't think you would have, you would have to have a Korean, boy or girl, it doesn't matter.

Who plays it? Yeah, she has a Korean. Right. So, do we change the title. We just take some letters out. Maybe make you Dorothy. We're out of wizard. Wizard. We're wizard.

Wizard. Wizard of OB. OB. OB. Wizard OB. Yeah. Wizard of OB. You put the have a wizard of DMZ

OZ that's it. Wizard of DMZ. Yeah, wizard of DMZ. Yes, dude. That's it. Yes. What a movie. That's it. Yeah, what about the watch that movie? Seriously the black version Oz no, I don't give a fuck. No. Yeah, they didn't change much of that. Did they make change much? No They didn't change anything. You saw the Oz? Like the ones when they are in the prison show? No. No. So didn't they do Wizard of Oz with the Wiz?

The Wiz. Oh, the Wiz. Oh, the Wiz, my bad, my bad, the Wiz. I do the Wiz store that's so mysterious. No, not bad. Nobody beats that way. Not that, anyway, a. Let's go back to Alien. No, not bad. Nobody beats that way. Not that, any way. A, let's go back to A and then. Yeah.

I am. I'm going to go back to that. I gotta go back. Yeah, because I'm, why are you obsessed with it? How did you see it recently? No, because last time, I saw the, so they did six or seven of them, right?

The last two was, one was done in 2016 or in 2015, the other one was in 2019 or whatever. Good year 2016. Very good year. It's one of last my virginity. Really, yeah, nice. Anyway, it's one of America big. Thank you, baby.

Yeah, no, fuck a lot. You do fuck a lot in my past, I mean. You do fuck a lot, but I'll tell you what, you're a guy who's lucky and blessed because not high STD rate, I think of relatively low STD rate for the amount of sex you have, no children, and pretty much, at least for most majority of your sex life, you've been pretty connected when you have sex.

You're not just using it as like holes, like I think like you get connected to the woman or man when you have sex with them. Look at the eyeballs. Yeah. You don't look at the eyeballs. I went through phases where I did it, but now I do now. I'm very connected to my girl. Are you the type that needs a connection before for free to enjoy sex? No, no, I don't I don't I don't need a connection You're a guy. Yeah, yeah, no. I prefer, I prefer a connection,

but I can be disconnected from the internet too. Okay. Because I have sell, I have sell no day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I prefer to masturbate now anyway. I prefer to masturbate now anyway. Oh, me too, dude. Yeah, I just prefer it.

I like it. Even over sex with my lady at home, so I just prefer it. I prefer to masturbate. Really? I like it. I just, you know, I know what sex, it's just, it's all the same. I know what it is, too. Dude, I'm with you, dude. No, explain. I like it. I know what it is. It's, dude, I'm with you, dude. Explain. I like it.

I'm with you, dude. Explain. I have nobody what you're talking about. I'm with you, dude. Like, what's going on over there? You're on the phone? He's texting. Okay.

Go ahead. Does he get girls? Great. How? Girls, women love him, but he's celibate. Right now, he's celibate. I'm kidding. He's celibate.

Look at him. He's a good guy. He's celibate. How many podcasts? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Great, great, how? Girls, women love him, but he's celibate. Right now, he's celibate. I'm kidding. He's celibate. Look at him, I'm kidding. He's a joke dude.

He's celibate. Comedy podcast. This is how LA Comics do it. This is how LA Comics do it. And beautiful New York, this is a different vibe. Yeah, okay. He's celibate. Or if you're gonna do a Berkresher's podcast tomorrow too,

so I am doing everybody's. Um, so I now think that like sex to me, I connect with, you know, with my girl and we connect, but other than that, it's just all forms of resistance, right? Sex and all that. It's just all forms of resistance. I'm spending time and energy to chase the girl from my ego when I really what I'm saying is I'm scared to write, I'm scared to create new material. I'm scared to do the hard work. So let me chase this woman and then I can justify it. So.

You're just blowing my mind right now, dude. You're blowing my mind right now, dude. Yeah. I don't even like this talk right now, dude. That's what it is. You're full of resistance. Dude, I do, I'm king resistor. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what, dude? Yeah. You're preaching to the choir choir 100% right and I need to hear this I do it. I it was my it was it was years of my life Just kind of thinking you know sex and and all that it was just really ego But really even more than ego was just resistance. That's all it was. It was me resisting doing the work doing the work on Be as a person doing the work on me being a father doing the work on being as a person, doing the work on me being a father, doing the work on me being a comic, doing it,

and oh, I'll just talk to girls, and that's how I'm filling up my time, but it's bullshit. So now I just quickly masturbate, get it out, get it right into my belly button, go back to work. I see. Yeah, that's how, okay, that's the resistance now is in my belly button.

In your belly button. Are there other things that you resist when you do it, like you have hobbies? No, see, that's another do it, like you have hobbies? No, see, that's another thing. I don't have hobbies, which is not a good thing. You should have hobbies. I don't.

So, I force myself to read. I live in a schedule now. I never, this is new stuff. Sorry, hit your mic. I live in a schedule. I live in a time block, you know, blocks. I live in a blocked out schedule. Come in us. You guys are good with blocks. I live in a

timed out block by block schedule. Habicus, you know, block. No, oh, no, no, yeah, all because you're Chinese. I'm Korean. I just blew your mind. No, yeah, yeah. You knew this. I did, I did. Yeah, yeah. And you're doing jokes from sound. Yeah, from the sound.

Yeah, you're doing jokes. Yes. Well, first of all, I'm an American, so I don't know anything about it. I literally have no, I literally, dude, bro, I'm gonna tell you right now, and this is the last time you do this shit. All right, I put the fucking,

my boundary down right here, dude. Okay. All right, all right. I'm gonna tell you this right now, dude. Okay. All right. All right. I'm gonna tell you this right now, dude. The jokes are good, right? We have a good time, right? Yeah.

But can you please memorize that I'm Korean? Memorize it. Okay. You're a smart guy. Yeah. Right guy. Right. Think of Kim Jong-un, whatever you need to do.

Yeah, but that's the problem when I think of Kim Jong-un in my head. It's like, that guy looks Chinese. The point. All right. That's the good that guy looks Chinese. The point. All right, let's think of somebody else. BTS. BTS. Yeah.

Like, oh, the Korean pop band? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, see like that. That guy looks like Elliott Page. I think you all look like five Elliott Page. You do all five Elliott Page.

That's so true to it. Yeah, go back. Yeah. Go back to what it was actually, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then I'd rather you think of Elliot Payton

than think of me being Chinese over here. Yeah, you're from, no, I know that you're, okay, you're Korean. So let me put the boundary down now, all right? Put the boundary down. So I'm gonna put the boundary down now. Put the boundary down now. Yeah, I down. So I'm gonna put the boundary down now. Put the boundary down. Yeah, I'm Korean.

Also, in your little brain, she tried to memorize this part, right? I was literally born here in San Diego, 1971, sharp hospital, right? I've only been to Korea three times, or whatever in my life. Most of them when I was young, maybe four times, three times when I was young,

and recently when you were together, when that happened, when we went to Korea or now before. So I went to Korea before I was young, maybe four times, three times when I was young. And recently when you were together when that happened, we went to Korea or not before. So I went to Korea before I met her. I'd shot a music video there. But I don't know anything about the language, I don't know anything about some food, whatever. But I don't.

I had to introduce them to good Korean restaurants in K-town. That's true because like a, especially like a Los Angeles, like, cucked out like white guy knows more about Korean food and delicacies than you do. Oh, cringe, yeah. Yeah, because he's like, you know, he wants to be like, white guy, they're into Asian culture and feed and stuff. Oh, why am I looking at George?

He married, he married, he married, made a very career. He's that guy. There it is. Look at him when you say white guy. Yeah, that's it. They make it, they drive it crazy, right? I'd watch, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. He looks like a guy with like Asian Foot fetish Finding right a little bit you suck on your wife's feet. Oh See like because he's got his belt on his shoe. He likes to put that belt on her Oh, they're buying the feet like yeah find the feet lock on my back and then have five so he jerked on each toe My kids he's like he's like you want. Yeah, he, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, the tune. She goes, not again, not again. Honey the tune. She goes, okay, and she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That's so fucked up. Go back to Alien.

Let's go back to Alien. Alien covenant fucking, premier thesis. What are those movies? When people have a fetish, is it that they want to come on feet? I don't have a nest, I don't have a foot fetish.

I don't, I don't necessarily have a foot fetish, but I would assume they want to come on feet. I don't know. No, they don't. I've never seen, I've so much porn I've seen, I've never seen anyone come on anyone's foot. No, I've never seen anyone come on. Yeah, have you ever, that's not even a thing.

I had a boy, I had a boy come on my kneecap. Really? That was an accident though. Separately? Yeah. Yeah, that was an oil spill, but you know how they do it in the population. But why both then? You want to come on each knee individually? No, no, he, it was premature.

Oh, okay, well then we have that. That's how he's like, give me your knee! Give me your knee! Yeah, that'd be weird. But I've had the back of my leg penetrated. Like in high school when I was still trying to keep my V-car. Warm back there. Yeah, so I'm like, can you just like fuck this fat part?

Look at this, look how fat this is. You know what the name of that is?, can you just like fuck this fat part? Look at this. Look how fat this is. You know what the name of that is? You can back me up on this. That's called the popliteal fossa. Mmm. And what is that? What is that?

The popliteal. You look, Bobby. That's your poplite fossa? Yeah. That's amazing. What a fossa. That's a good poplite fossa. Thank you.

Yeah. I'm going to reveal a little secret. Tell me. And I would never said this before in my life. And I'm kind of embarrassed to say it. Why? But I'll tell you why. When I say it, then you're gonna go, wow.

That's what I said, that out loud. You know, I used to have between my toes, my left foot, what was there? Fungus. Exactly. And I tried to put piece, not put piece, I tried it. I tried, I tried to, I had to act in connecting.

Tough act in, 10 act in. Right. And I, one time I put a little sperm in between there. Okay. You know, went away. Interesting. Oh, wow. I think my little guy's phantom.

Spirms are cleaner. Yeah, but you imagine my little sperms. Yeah. Daddy put us out in between his toes. Right. Look, fun guy. War. War, dude.

Yes. So I just imagined that. Yes. Right, right. And my guy's one. still on the field is like Normandy, you know They're still on the beach. You're my little guys when you get laying there dead But I think they won the war. I think you probably just hydrated it because you have fun. Guess it's really dry and So negative see every time I talk about my smart you think they're weak No, I got pregnant twice with you whoa. That that's true. My. They're not that weak.

What happened there? I wanted to matter here. Yeah, I don't do that. Do you regret that? Oh, this is the right one thing you're doing. Oh, you're right. I forgot you're right. Oh, shit, shit, shit.

There is the thing. Let that sink in. Let that sink in. I like this. You notice Donnie set up in a seat. Yeah, he loves shit. There is that. Let that sink in, let that sink in, let that sink in. I like this. You know, this Donnie set up in the seat too. Yeah, he loves you. Hey, here, yeah. No, do you, you Christian Donnie?

Okay, yeah. So, what do you think? Would you, do you, I'll be honest, you be honest. Yeah, there's definitely like sadness about it. But then I had just gotten like a heart procedure done, like the second time around and it would have been a really rough pregnancy. So I don't know. Well, I mean, yeah, you all like it would have been a lot. But you said, you think about the heart procedure, the baby that you killed got.

Yeah, that's a different heart procedure. Yeah, that's the whole thing. What about you? You said this before. What? You said it before, like a couple of podcasts ago. What did I say? You said this before. What? You said it before, like a couple of podcasts ago. What did I say? You were like, I think about it. Yeah. It affects it. But I was going to even add on to that, my friend, okay.

I think about it. And so I think there is a part of regret. I think that it would have been an extraordinary child. Yeah, I think so. It would have been two extraordinary child. Yeah, I think so. It would have been two child children. Two, yeah. Extraordinary. Yeah.

But I didn't know her that well back then. Yeah, we had only been together like three weeks. Like three weeks, so, you know? I was like, oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know you. Yeah, and then. But then the second time around was when it was like

a little harder because we had been together a couple of years. Yeah, and also back then, I was extreme left. I didn't even think about consequences in that way. Now, since I'm kind of more insurrectionist, yeah, more ins... I'm a little bit more, like I would have been at the Capitol,

but like a far, I wouldn't have gone into the building. Would you have, in the way? Now we're there, can you read that again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you go there again? Yeah, yeah. Would you go there again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you go there again? 100%.

Yeah, I'm actually next time I want to set up, I want to do a comedy festival around. Build an audience. Yes, that's amazing. Yes, yeah. And you could do it on the stage where they put the news. Yes, Mike Pence's news. Yeah, right.

Yeah, I would maybe put it off this. I don't know. Yes. That dangly business, you know, pulling focus. Yeah, when you're performing. But, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, because I think, yeah, it's tough because it's tough to say like a life,

when you get in a board, shan, you're like, oh, it's just nothing, but then it grows up to be something. So I have children and have been on the side of abortions. So I've bought. You paid for them? I pay for them, yeah. Yeah, I pay bought. Do you pay for them? I pay for them, yeah. Yeah, I pay for them. I pay for sometimes, I pay for people

that I'm gonna have sex with the guards, I pay for them. We were together. It was super small. We were together, we were together, so you pay for it. I pay for it. And I'll then know you.

Yeah. They didn't, because I was. How much do I owe you then? Well, I'll then owe you now. Plant parent had covered some of the costs. Bingo, the government. So you send, you vent more and then you put in the thing, put Borshi Worshi.

Borshi Worshi, yeah. Big and cute. But you know, as I get older, my views are definitely changing about it. Well, I had, you know, my oldest daughter, when she first date conceived the baby and we were thinking of the same. We were thinking, oh, and then, you know, I'm daughter, when she first date conceived the baby, and we were thinking of the same, we were thinking, and then, you know, I'm so happy we did it now. First date?

First date, that's what it is, Puerto Ricans baby. We were having sex, we were like, boppy, I was like, okay. And then boom, and then she, and then she, so we have our baby, and then we have our second baby. And yeah, but I also have been through the port, part of abortions too, and it lingers with a guy

I mean, it's obviously way worse for a woman, but it is a man's head. So I'm seeing a girl that has a child and I really like the kid Right and that what are you looking at man? Listening. Yeah, I don't like the way you're looking at me though, man. Yeah, that keep the hold that. Yeah You got to hold that man, right because you're you're I don't like the listen to you're doing snakepliscan did You know what snakeplisc you know you don't watch a movie. No, you know what snakepliscan is Wait, what escape from New York it was in 1970 anyway, um Night you know crit Russell anyway, um, I like Kurt. I were doing that you were doing that You're doing a slight. But it was okay. I don't make sense. That's what you're that's okay Yeah, and I don't need that in my life right now

Yeah, but okay, yeah, so I really love the kid and And in my mind and and and this girl that I'm saying loves her kid, right and and observing him I go I understand why I never understand why you would even want one But now that when you see right the kid and its interactions with the mom I'm serving him, I go, I understand why. I never understand why you would even want one, but now that when you see the kid and its interactions with the mom and the fun that you have, it's fun. You know, you know, it gets you outside of yourself and creates selflessness.

Yeah, and she tells me, you know, he asks me question, I have no idea what the answers are by trying to answer them the best I can. Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you know, he likes you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like questions like, you know, explain to me the, um, neurology of the human body or whatever. And I'm like, I don't even know yet. It's tough. Yeah. It's tough. He goes to school.

He must love a guy like you. Like, how old is the boy? Is the seven? Seven. So he goes to school, school starting. He's, oh, yeah. My mom dates. No, Panda. Oh That hurt but it's not yourself You coming here. He's snake dear. You snake, please can we are you coming here do that after I set the boundary? Sorry, yeah, Kung Fu brand is Chinese dude. Oh Mulan Still Chinese oh, it's not Korean right come up with a fucking Korean thing man Mulan. I don't know. It's still Chinese. It's still Chinese. Oh. Is that Korean?

What? Come up with a fucking Korean thing, man. Um, alley one. Um, that's good. Well, she's, oh, okay, how about this? My mom, my mom, my mom, my, my, are you ready? You ready for this? You ready for this?

You ready for this? You know, he says, my mom, my mom dates the guy from Squid Games. Boom. Boom. Bang. Bang, bang, boom, bang, bang. Do you see that? Yeah, yeah, that one I saw. You like that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. I really enjoyed squid games. Yeah, that was fun. So yeah, so, but I, you know, I look at the, I kind of have a better understanding of why one would want one. And the love.

I think, yeah, I think whoever, whatever people want to do, you know, their body, their choice, whatever people want to do, me having, being, I feel like want to do. Me having, I feel like it's a blessing and I feel like that's the youngest one. The youngest one is two. And does he, does, where girl? We're gonna fully design on it and say she's okay. But right now she does have a vagina.

Okay, she's a person with a vagina. He heard it. I don't care. That's your life. But he heard, so my sponsors are Bud Light. But does she, obviously she identifies you. When she looks at you, she knows what's Dad looking at. She says, Daddy.

She says, Daddy. And she's happy to see you. Yes. And so is my eight year old. Very happy. Alright, so I've heard comics talk about this. And sometimes I couldn't get my mind around it, but wrapped around it. But I heard a comment, I wanna say his name,

but he goes, when I'm on the road, all I can think about with my kids, and I can't wait to get home on Mondays, right? Do you have that feeling? When you're on the road, and you can't wait to go home to see your kids. Well, first of all, I'm gonna get home on Sunday. He's a piece of shit for other people

coming home on Monday. He's gonna go on the flight Sunday. No, I'm kidding, no, no. I'm kidding. I do. I feel like now, what I feel like, okay, so two things. One, when I first, you know, parenting journey, because it takes years to like, I still don't have to figure it out. I don't think, I think it's just the whole things of journey, but I would quite often be on the road. And even though I'm doing what I want to do, which my own happiness and everything will only, if I'm happy it'll be transferred to the kids so you have to be happy first. It's not a selfish thing for you, you need to be happy first, just

like you need to breathe first so you can do it for the children. So what I would do though a lot is I would go on the road and feel this sense of guilt because I was leaving half my brain at home with the children and then bringing half my brain to the comedy clubs and that wasn't doing anybody any good. I'm not there for them and I'm not there for me. So now what I do is when I'm somewhere, I'm fully both my feet are here. I'm in LA with you guys. That doesn't mean I'm not thinking about my children.

That doesn't mean I don't miss them, but like I would quite often be like, I shouldn't be, I should just always be with the kids. And that's not being a good parent. That's not necessarily doing what's right by them. So now I'm always here. So when I, and it helps me actually conserve a lot of energy. So when I do get home, this is a long trip for me.

This is seven days away from them. So it's a lot, that's a lot. But I say, you know what, I'm gonna do this once. And then when I get back home to them, I will be 100% present and fully engage with them. And for how long? For, you know, if somebody wants me to do the panel, do that panel.

But you're on the road. You're on the road. No, no, on the road. No, I, so what I do now, time is actually more valuable currency to me than money. I fully agree. I fully, the money doesn't mean anything to me. It does not.

I mean, to me, it mean something because survival and sure, but it's like I don't have, you know, like, like we have people with money can only say that. No, but I'm not. Right, right, you and I are the same, right? No, because I think you flew, no, you flew, you flew, no. No, you're getting a flukely, flukely.

I'm with you, I'm with you. Yeah, you're with you because you got a little, my point is that when you don't have that, right? Listen, I'm listening. I do listen to you. You do listen to me and I'm listening now. Yes. Go ahead Okay, so I think though that you can just you can just adjust your life if you have Less money you all you really need to is get your basic needs met your basic survival needs met to be happy Someone in a homeless shelter right now can be happy. If they're not happy, it's because they're comparing

their life to something that somebody else has. But if you can just find a way, your basic needs are met, then I think that you can be happy. Now I have all these things, I'm not happy. Just to funny. Yes, whatever. Yeah, I want to, yeah. You know what I'm saying.

So from now on, I want you, what I'm in here, I want you to, you know what I want my name to be to you, because I want you to, I want to, yeah. You know what I'm saying. I like it. So from now on, I want you, what I'm in here, I want you to, you know what I want my name to be to, because I want you to, I want you to sexualize me a little bit, but also like be dominant. I want you to call me for the rest of this podcast. Puyang Yang Yang. Puyang Yang Yang. Puyang Yang.

Puyang Yang. Puyang Yang. Puyang Yang. Puyang Yang. Puyang Yang. Yang. Puyang Yang. I said it right. Oh, Puyang Yang. Puyong yum yum. Puyong yum yum. Puyong yum yum yum. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. Yang. I said it right. Puyong yum yum yum. That's what I, yeah.

Can we interrupt him about? We haven't interrupt our guess. Oh, we haven't done that. I don't want, no. We also haven't done it. Do we need to do it? Yeah, we do. Now as Puyong yum yum. Yang. Five, four, three, two.

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and good afternoon and good morning to you. Whenever you're listening at any part of the globe, you could be in the Antarctic, you could be on an island somewhere, you know what I mean? Just, you know, doing whatever people on the island do. Today I woke up, I didn't know who the fuck was going to come today, you know, because I don't give a fuck, but some people I do, some people I don't, you know what I mean? This particular, I didn't until he came, but yeah, that's a good one We have a good to guest. He's from New York. I met him a long time ago on opening Anthony him

And I did it and we had breakfast with Opie when I was a nice I talk about a lot and I did I had a connection Anyway, he's a he's Madison Square Garden comic He used comic huge podcaster, Ponyong-yong-yong. Woo! So fast. So fast. Thank you. Yeah.

Okay. What were we talking about in a second ago? Oh, time. Oh, time. Yeah. And happiness, how that. 40% of the people who live in this country, right? They don't have, they only have $400 in the bank

for emergency. Yeah, but their basic needs aren't met. He's just saying. What I'm saying is. Yeah, but their basic needs aren't met. He's just saying. What I'm saying is that those people, if time and money aren't met. Well, their basic needs probably aren't met. I'm just saying like, I'm just saying like, yes, I understand, you know, more money, you know, more money doesn't, obviously we know, it doesn't equal more happiness. I'm saying those, you, you would be, like if you gave somebody in another country and like

a small village in India, or something like that. If you gave a nice small Republican village in India, $400, and their basic needs were met, they would have such a sense of happiness. But in America, when this whole idea is, you can't be happy unless you have the house with the white picket fence. But what I'm saying to you is that when you're worried

about you're gonna get evicted, you can't feed your kids, right? And basically you don't matter that. And basically you don't matter that. And basically, you're not happy. If your basic needs are met, then you should be able to find happiness. But most of us won't because we want more and we're always comparing to others. But comparison is a thief of joy,

said by Teddy Roosevelt. Right. Never forget that. To your point, say that again. Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy. You know, it's my pain comes from comparing. Well, you know this.

You guys know this about me. That's my number one pain. You can't compare. I drive down the street. Anyway, so I agree with you then. Yes. Yeah, but to your point, like when in the Philippines, like with my family, like some of them live in like, abject poverty, but I'm telling you, they are so much happier than me in so many ways.

Like they're just general outlook on life and their ease about them. It's like, you know, but I like you said, as long as they have like, portable water, they have certain things. And they're, I look at them like, fuck, like you guys are just happier. Yeah, and like people who like,

I have to, they're listening and they're like, fuck, you know, it's all about the money. You're just, it's anger. It's nothing to do with me or you. It's, it's always typically always with yourself. It's like, you are not, you're, you're comparing in your wanting, you have this insatiable need to want more. That's why you're mad with, if you're only making $500, you have this insatiable need to get more. For me, with comedy, if I want to make a certain amount of money, the reason why I won't go unless it's an X amount of dollars

is because for me, I'm not going to... The only reason money makes sense for me is if it buys freedom. So I need a certain amount of money to buy me the freedom to have it my children. And if he does do that, I'd rather spend... Because what I'm really... You know, I think about two banks, right? You tell me, okay, you know, our agents will say, oh, but you'll make more money. We have the same agents. I don't know who you with.

Jews. Me too. Obviously. WM. No. No. No. Okay. Don't say our agents then. Okay. So they are minor better. And rightfully so. Yeah. And rightfully and I have Ken Jeong's agent. I'm right with that. Oh, no. Oh, no. And rightfully so they're gonna want more money, make it make, that's fine, but I think of two banks, the money bank and then the time bank. So how much time is it? That's the more valuable bank to me because that's the, that's, I can't replace, I can always replace, but you could always make money.

Yes. I don't care if you're actually stupid at home, you can always make money. It's a miracle. It's a time you're not gonna get back. Let me ask you, this is a real question. I'm about jokes and verbal play, and shadow play and all those things, but let's be real for a second.

Okay. So there's a lot of times people go, I get offered a lot of things, right? And they go, hey, can you, you wanna go to Australia for this, or do you wanna do this? It's pretty good decent amount of things, right? And they go, hey, can you, you want to go to Australia for this? Or do you want to do this? It's for, you're a pretty good decent amount of money, right? And I always say no.

And I always say no because of the fact that I'm like, yeah, but I'd rather be here right now doing playing video games or, you know what I mean? Yeah. Is that, but I feel like, is that laziness or is that what you're talking about? Is it contribute to your joy, your overall like? Yeah, I feel joy when I'm with my cats.

You know, I mean, I feel joy when I'm- That's time well spent. I thought it's important. What all this, everything we've propped up is, this is all, none of this is real. None of it is real. LAs, now I'm saying this is all propped up bullshit. Right, so but then we make these things,

we give ourselves so much stress and anxiety about catching the flight, getting on the, it's none of its real, we all created, it's a societal. You're so right. You just, but that's why having a parent being a kid, it's like, oh my kid is real, my kid is the only person, my kids are the only people in the world that I didn't choose, they were chosen for me. So, that's real, like unconditional love, I have unconditional love with them, it doesn't matter if they love me back, my energy is will always be love for them. And so I'm like, I want to be around that more. And then you realize real quick. That's real.

So if you're in a mall and you have your baby, an AK-47 guy, some guy's shooting up the mall, right? Right. Would you turn away to protect your baby or would you use it as a shield? I would turn away. I would turn away to protect my baby, but I also simultaneously try, I, there'd be a nice Patreon episode. So I have the views, I have it live on Patreon. That patreon.com such a- This is just a hero. Hero. Wow.

You'd be dead though. Yeah, but I mean, but by Patreon money would go into my kids' college school. So good. And that would be, I would pay for that Patreon. 100% sure. Why the hell not? The only way to get-

The phone does, how much? 1990, ah. Yeah. I'll wait till it goes out to $10. Patreon phone dies. Yeah. How much? 1990, ah. Yeah. I'll wait till it. What? That's $10. Patreon numbers are plummeting, so we gotta do it, you know? You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I think, so I know that that's like, you know, some of your listeners may be like, fuck you, you know, stop with this, you know, philosophical bullshit. I don't know the first thing about philosophy. I'm just saying how I genuinely viscerally feel. I'm like, I would get so bent out of shape

about things that I'm only making the matter. I'm making the matter. They don't really matter. Like Alexander the Great conquered the entire world. Jenkins con, nobody knows if they were walking around today, nobody cares, nobody knows that they're gone. They're dead and it's all gone. It doesn't matter.

It's over. Wow, wow. Interesting stuff. That's, that's, you know. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, nobody cares, nobody knows that they're gone. They're dead and it's all gone. It doesn't matter, it's over. Wow, wow, you know, interesting stuff. That's, that's, you know. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's so good. Jenga's gone. Yeah. This whole podcast has been funny.

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh about to tell you right now? You don't think that you've had a good time here. No, I'm having a good time. You ready? You ready for this? You're from about to tell you. I think it's the best we've ever done.

Really? Yeah. You ready from about to tell you, I'm going through this interesting thing in my, maybe you can help me with this. Maybe I'll say this. I will help. So I have in my career right now,

you know, big shows, the biggest I've ever had in my career, the biggest venues, biggest. I can't, I feel so disconnected from comedy and so out of the game, even though I'm telling you, two weeks I have like 10,000 tickets sold in New York, I feel like I do not matter in this business at all. Whatever, I felt like I used to have power and be connected to it all, I feel like it's gone.

And I don't know what it is, I feel like everyone else has zoomed past or comparison thing, even though, like who, give me an example who? Not even, it's not even anybody. There is a... Like Tignatara. There is a one, right.

Tignatara, who also is in BTS. So, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, so funny. So I feel the, I'm not,

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, So funny. So I feel that. So good. So I feel this thing, where I feel like I'm at it again, right? And it's not, oh, for you to tell me, no, you are. Again, my reality is, you could tell a girl, she's beautiful, she doesn't feel it, she's not, right? So it's weird that I don't know what's happened, I don't know if you've went through this in your career,

where I feel so This and whatever power I had is gone. I don't know why I feel this one You think it's more of just a sensory adaptation thing because you've been at this level for some time now So maybe the thrill is gone So you think that you're not wielding a certain type of power when really it's just you're plateauing at a great place Is it yeah, you're standing up here and you just now you're not wielding a certain type of power. And really, it's just, you're plateauing at a great place. Is it? Yeah, interesting. I never thought about that.

And you've just, now you're familiar with the feeling of being successful. So you think that that success is not there. That's interesting. I never thought of it that way. Maybe, but I do feel like it's like I can't get out of it. Like every morning I wake up, I'm like, I can't get out of it. That's like him every day of his life.

Like he, but I think it still goes, it ties into the wanting more even though it still ties into this idea of like getting the dopamine, dopamine hit of something newer or bigger. Right. Or I think it's still all tied in. Yeah, you know, a guy Tory once told me, you know, Guy Tory? Uh, yeah, comic, I remember from last comic stand. Yeah, you know, a guy Tori once told me. You knew Guy Tori? Yeah, comic. I remember from last comic stand.

Yeah, yeah. So many, many years ago, like 20 years ago, I was talking to Guy and he goes, here's what makes me happy in my career. And this is all I expect. If every year I do something new, I'm good. Like material? Not just material, but like a new place.

Like I remember that over time, I was like, oh, I'm in Thailand right now doing a movie. I've never done this before. Every year, so there's something new happens. And this year I've had a lot of new things that occurred. You know what I mean? So it's like, that's what, if it's monotonous and it's like I stay at a certain level,

even if you go down a little bit and you reinvent yourself, that's still new, right? So I think that should be the... I have a solution. Do something so out of the box, so out of the realm of comedy, like start like a cigar, like anything that is so different

from what people expect of you. Right. And take a hard pivot in that direction and maybe that will give you some kind of like, oh shit, like, because if you're just burnt out with comedy, podcasting all the time, doing shows and being associated with the same people, I think take a hard left and try a hobby.

Well, my mom, she had an interesting idea because I told her about this is how crazy it's got in my brain. I'm like talking to my mom about this, but she was like, I don't understand. Like you're doing everything and I was like, she was like, you know what I think you should do? You should go back to physical therapy once we, oh my God, yes. You have a license, you have a doctor degree, she was like, you know what I think you should do? You should go back to physical therapy once a week. Oh my God, yes.

You have a license, you have a doctor degree, she's like, you should go back and start treating patients once a week. It's not about the money for you, you know, get paid. Yeah, not a money play. No, but you should go back and do that. And I was like, huh, I'll be a client. Seriously.

I really would. Yeah, you have, yeah, you'd be a good client. You have. No, because you have your out of balance. Okay, good. I think you're gonna do some sort of like, I have a roly-poly body. No, no, you don't have a roly-po of balance. Okay, good. I think you're gonna do some sort of like, I have a roly-poly body. No, no, you don't have a roly-poly body.

Okay, good. I think you're experiencing life. You're on the journey. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, you look, yeah, you're made a tofu. You're making a tofu.

Filkin. Do you think, is it Hollywood that makes you feel that way or no? I know, I'm not in Hollywood, right? I mean, I'm like, is that a desire of yours? Do you think that Hollywood should be calling right now going, hey, let's do these movies, let's do this, let's do that?

No, I don't think that, I think that, you know what happened is I think that podcasting in a way maybe has plateaued for me, or maybe like there's a monotonous to it. And so maybe it's about like that, about like changing the show up or like changing something new. But the tickets still sell and everything like, I think it's just a different medium that people consume my comedy on now. But now I'm like, you know, I think podcasting in general, we've all went through a little

bit of like, it was so high in the pandemic, and then it goes on like a bit of a dip, right? And so like, I know like, you know, certain shows and yours have exploded. But for most of us, it's like, it's been like this and slowly going. Yours too? Yeah. I mean, listen, it's still sustainable in a great way of life.

Like sometimes I'll get in my head but I just just stop my podcast and then I'll look up. You'll be like, without me even trying, it helps my family so much. So I can't do that. I can't stop that. Listen, I want to say this to you before we hand.

Okay. And this is, I'm say this to you before we hand, okay? And this is the honor, I'm just gonna tell you my honest feeling. You have it all, in my opinion. For me, I watch you like I watch Tim Dylan where I'm like, holy shit, I don't think I'm that good. He's so good, That's number one. Number two, I think that like you're fun to look at.

You know what I mean? You're like a handsome but also weird. You know what I mean? That's a weird thing. You know what I'm going. And number three, there's no one on planet Earth like you. You're like an original, right? And I do believe that you're forever gonna be

wherever you wanna be. That's how good you are. And I would fuck with you for the rest of my life. Unless you like did something like terrible, you know what I mean? Like, like, you know, well, even if you gave me a gaping hole, it'd be fine. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. By the way, I wanna say, I can't even think of it. I wanna say, I love you. Thank a gaping hole, it would be fine. Yeah. Yeah.

By the way, I want to say, I can't even think of a route. I want to say, I love you. Thank you for saying that to me. I appreciate it. It didn't make me feel any better, but I do appreciate it. And I do, I will say, It didn't. Not at all.

Coming full circle, full oval, full pussy. You are definitely gaping now. If you weren't in the beginning, you are now. I'm gaping now. I don't know. No beginning, you are now. I'm gaping now. I hope that it is. There's no way you could say something as sentiment of the beautifies you said. He's wide open.

He's wide open. But do you think there's no truth to what I'm saying that I believe that? I do. I do. And I, I, the, the, the, I saw it when I, no, hold on. Okay. I saw it the day I met you at Open Anthony is when I saw it.

Right. Like normally, you know, you meet people in the row, you meet people and you go, I felt that way about Anderson. Do you know when I first saw him? You know, I felt that way about you. Shultz, I felt that way. I never even heard of him until we did Montreal together.

Right. And I saw him perform one time and I was like, the first time I was just like, oh no, this guy's like the thing is the it. I feel that a way about you. Go ahead. I appreciate it. Thanks for coming.

You wait, listen to that podcast. I really do think though that a hard pivot. I think I'm, yeah, fuck the pivot. It's gonna inspire you. I'm gonna fuck the pivot. And also it will make you appreciate comedy in a different way. Like, I don't know, I'm sensing a different way. Yeah, like I don't know I

I'm sensing a hard pivot No, no PT you're gonna be missod you can still keep the San dude. Yeah, yeah, it's all start being every man and then they got out of touch You know you gotta go back to be at every man again. Yeah, good. It is. You think I'm an everyday man You've never been in a relationship with the people You've never been in that relationship. You're a relationship that connects you with the people. That's why I say you're kind of... Right, right, right.

Forever connected because I'm lazy. You're weak end every day. That's what it is. I woke up today. I was like, what's going on? You really did. Bad mood kind of. I was kind of in a bad mood. Now you're in a good mood. I saw you, I was like, let's do it. I could tell. That are mood.

Anything you want to say? You want to know anything you guys want to get more portions? No, I'm going to get knocked up by a rando. That's my part. Really? Do you want to be white? No, no, no. What is it, Brown? Asian.

Asian, Filipino. Yeah, more of the brown. I like Filipino. That's my favorite, favorite group. Thank you. Because Asian, like, you're thanks for coming. No, the look Puerto Rican. Thanks for coming man. Oh, yeah, you have Christmas fun. Oh, Christy company. History meets excitement at Senna Gabuffalo Creek Casino. Walking distance from all of Buffalo's

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