TigerBelly - Ep 263: Kassem G is Timeless
Episode Date: September 16, 2020Bobby's is a Tesla with a Saturn engine. Kassem narcs on nudists. Sideways saves Khalyla. We talk alien pyramids, the H3 wiki-feet bump, bigger splats, and coin face. Please suppor...t our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello, Moroccans
Your parents are Egyptian right or Moroccan we don't know you're not I thought you were Moroccan. No. Oh, what are you?
What I know the same Moroccan. Go ahead
I'm just a Moroccan what
Put the thing up on the thing. I mean the way you sit the way sitting is very Moroccan. Yeah, you have a very Moroccan way of sitting
It's so ready. Oh, don't say your name until I bring it up. Yeah, I'll shut up. All right
Five four three two one welcome to the days. Well, welcome to the day. Yo, yo, welcome to the days
Yeah, welcome to my our our welcome to our podcast Tiger Belly
What a wonderful I had holy shit
Man, I had some sabotage yesterday, huh? I went to a baby shower. It was a birthday baby shower. Well, it wasn't even yeah
She turned one and she had six people over. Okay, so there's babies there in a party with their babies there was their shower theme
Yeah, there was a baby. Okay, baby shower. So there's two babies. There's three babies there. Okay. So one of the babies is one two
three
One of the babies is one no the party was the other three babies
Is one no the party was the one. Yeah, but the baby that gave you food poisoning was two
Okay, so that's the one I want to get to okay, so I'm sitting there in the fucking baby shower and
The two-year-old her name is she said her name
Abby Abby, okay. The cutest she goes
She comes up to me and she has a bowl of something and she goes eat this ooh
So I go
You know, I've never been offered anything from a two-year-old. I don't know what the rules are right because usually if it was an adult
Like if George says I say fuck you. Yeah. Yeah, but what is it or what is it? Yeah, right?
So she goes eat this. I stuck it in my mouth and I go. Thank you and she goes you're welcome
Oh, it's cute though. So like two minutes later
eat this
It's something else
This one looks like a rock or something. You ate a pebble. I don't know what it I ate it
Thank you
You're welcome
Third one now my stomach is going
You know me. Yeah, and then
Eat this. I eat it. It tastes like egg and meat
Like egg meat and like dirt. I
Chew it. We were in the garden, but yeah, and I ate it. Mm-hmm. Thank you. You're welcome. And now I'm like not feeling well
So then her sister who's five. I'm like in an alleyway or something
And she goes why are you she goes why your stomach sticking out? I
Go excuse me. You're stomach is sticking out
It's cuz I'm fat. She goes. Oh and she just walks away and I was gonna I was like I was like come back here
Mm-hmm. What are you walking away from? Right? Let's let's resolve this talk about it, right? You call me fat
You know I mean I'm 49. I want to explain myself
What do you what would you have said?
Sit down look into the camera Ellie. That's her name Ellie. Yeah, cuz she may be so angry Ellie, okay?
She I'm not five. She asked an honest question. Why is your stomach sticking out because I'm fat
Okay, but she does she that's an honest, right? So Ellie sit down. All right, Ellie
Yeah, at least so you know a lot of times when you know when you get older life brings you down you you
Compensate by eating a lot of food because it's like it's a you know
I'm a recovering drug addict and sometimes I use food to fill, you know the void the void
Oh, I want not and she but she just fucking walked away. I can't go. Hey, bitch. You know, you can't say that
That's bad. No, you can't say yo bitch come you ever come back because she's five
Right and then the parents what they're called parents, right?
They're called. Yeah, they could the parents like you call my girlfriend. Hey, she called me fat. Fuck. You know me
And then there's a fucking whole thing. Yeah, so I let it go as an adult
I figured by now you being Korean. It's just part of the culture to you know, take
Insults like that like that's the first thing my family says when I walk through the door
Oh, you look blank right on the blank
Oh, you look this way Koreans are used to like knowing the person's name and doing a formal introduction before you rip into somebody
You know, I mean, I don't know her name. She doesn't know my she doesn't even know why I'm there your career
He doesn't know what my career IMDB me. I mean look me up on you know me social
I bet you have more followers and I'm verified and that you know, and that there's there's no respect there
Well, Ellie is my best friend. I know she is you guys were making some concoction or whatever. We have a guess
I don't know. Yes. All right, so um, but we made a mosquito repellent concoction together. You guys did. Yeah. Yeah with citronella
So it's the last baby shower. I go to because it was just an awful experience for me and
It just was it was just not fun
I was being attacked and then I then I had diarrhea all night last night, right from the food from the
Yeah, oh Abby. Oh Abby. So anyway, um, I love Morocco. I love I not just let me just I know
I know I know but don't say anything to I bring your name up, right? Okay. I literally thought you're Moroccan for the last 15 years
In my head. I'm like cast him Jesus Moroccan. He's gotta be Moroccan. Yeah, he has that look you he has a look of a
You know, you know what? You know those elevator operators in the 1950s at a hotel. Oh
That's what he looks like. Can we go in and they switch something? You know, I guess you too many
Thanks, you're Pagoda. Yeah, no, not Pagoda. He's got no. He's like he's got a
Another era looking. I know you think he's Pagoda from the Royal Ten and Bombs or he looks like, you know, the baker's son
In the 1950s but in Morocco in Morocco. Yeah. Yeah. I'll race this shit. Yeah. I cast him. It's really
Anyway, I know that's what he thinks because this is the second time he's
Three years shut up. I'm really formally done. You already said his name though. So it's that is true
That is but let me just do an introduction. So, um, I
I think my first Instagram post of it was Kassam with Kassam. Yeah, really
Yeah, I had just gotten on Instagram
I hadn't really posted anything and I looked at this my Moroccan friend
I wanted to also make it look like I knew like, you know, you know, I mean Middle Eastern people or whatever. Yeah, right?
You want to seem cool?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so um post 9-11 a very cool to take
Yeah, I took a photo and then um, I've worked on stuff. I've done some some of the YouTubes and
You know, I've just thought that I think it's a handsome nice guy
And you know what? Um, I have to thank you because you know back then during the maker days. We'll talk about that, but I
was in a real
Dier situation when it came to my career and I didn't know because this new
Thing had started on YouTube and I was like and I couldn't get into Hollywood shits
I'm like, maybe I'll try to you know, I mean build a new audience through
doing sketches and doing what you guys were doing and
And you helped me out man. I just I needed help back then and I'm kind of getting emotional, but um
So anyway, I wanted to thank you and um
Give him a round of applause. It's a cast and G get up for the Moroccan room. Thanks. Look at his feet. Look at his fucking
What's wrong? What's wrong with his non-feet? Oh speaking of feet. Are you on wiki feet? No
No, I'm not I'm very aware. I don't think I'd have a high rating. I got too many
It's too too many veins. Well, I turn it turns out is actually not a meritocracy at all
And wiki feet because we were on h3 podcast last week and we looked up Bobby's wiki feet
Which was a 2.5 out of five, which is average. I thought I was fine
I would I've been I would have been fine with it, but then I found out that it was a pretty pretty fucking low
but then Ethan
He will he made a plead on h3 podcast and said look
You know your your your opinions about my feet really mattered to me
I'd like a five out of five and then we checked his wiki feet and it's a five out of five
Yeah, right there. Yeah, that's all it took or it's like it's six point five out of five. Yeah. Yeah
I don't think that's honest. That's not an honest score. Yeah, you're a two you have a 2.5
That's see right there that those are fighting words. I mean, I'm looking at him. I did the right toenail
Extending past the sandal. It's this is
Fuck you this is pandemic feet and don't look at my feet. Okay. I can't help it
I know but what I want to say is is
There is no way through photos you can really dictate what one's foot now
Do I have a 2.5 foot? It's probably way less than that. You know, I mean in realities
It could be a point one point, but that's not my point
My point is is that there wasn't a lot of photos to back up to make a judgment, right?
So they're judging it based on six or seven photos and you really a foot
You got to really get into the intricacies of it, right? Yeah, the colors in the hues, you know mean and whatnot
Well, Alice's a functionality functionality. How well do they serve you?
Yeah, are you saying they saw pictures of your feet in the in the podcast on the video?
Or are they taking it from your Instagram where there's a variety of things?
You know Instagram pot, you know, they would freeze frames certain frames and you know, but yeah, it's a loaf my foot sucks
Yeah, I mean it's my foot fucking socks. All right, but I don't want a 2.5 foot. Yeah, right?
It's an ego. It's an ego thing that we battle with every day. Yeah, look, I want to say thanks
About your intro really really sweet. Yeah. Yeah, and so you're not Moroccan not Moroccan. I'm Jordanian and I'm Egyptian
Okay. Oh, so that's fancy. Um, is it?
Because I've been there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the great pyramids are fancy
The geometry of it. Do you like the the math? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's sacred geometry
And it's a it's a beautiful beautiful beautiful. Have you been? No, I've only when I was a kid. I have a very
I'm like a very sad boy and in the background those pyramids and I was just my shoulders were slumped and that's all I really
Have from that from that area. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, can I ask you this about pyramids is? Yeah, because I'm sure you know
Yeah, I know. Yeah
You know, they say on the internet that the aliens made the pyramids because you know
I'll be careful because this is a this is an area. I know a lot about. Yeah, because I guess the slabs
Right. Sure. We're precisely cut. They're also gigantic
They weigh a lot and people are arguing how do human beings, you know, but where there's a will there's a way
That's what I used to learn in high school. You know means my teacher told me that once right the the ancient alien
Ancient astronaut theorists. I think have landed on the fact that they had help
You know and that we still did it humans did it on on our own, right?
But they had help from skimming with a schematic. She gave us schematics. Is that what you're saying?
I think they gave us schematics. Yeah. Yeah, so these
Egyptians as they say, yeah, no, that's what they were
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, okay. There was Cleo, right?
Oh Lord, the psychic. No, the the the captain of the the president of Egypt Cleopatra
Oh Cleopatra made movies. Yeah. Yeah, they don't who played her Elizabeth
The Elizabeth Warren plays Cleopatra, so that's how I know about her. Yeah, so Cleopatra, right
She's the queen of right that the Pharaoh God knew was her lover her lover was
Hey, Mark Jacobs. No, she did have a mark Anthony. I know but he I knew he was Mark Jacobs. Yeah, the handbag maker
No, let me find a real
Guy Napoleon. What don't what do you get me so aggressive? If you really think it's Napoleon. Yeah, this is the end
Okay, so of your relationship. All right. All right. I'm sorry. I people don't I was hoping you would joke around and say Mark Jacobs
No, no, I want to be real and you can you joke around, please? It's getting intense
All right, so let's go back to the pyramids. Okay, so Cleopatra, right? She was in there
She was in there, but she didn't move any rocks or boulders. I'm she was just screaming
Yeah, yeah, and those people that probably had you know, thousands they were were they slaves
No, you know what the people working on the pyramids were lucky to and then they were happy to have the job
Oh, they were 20 years to make one of those things and they were getting paid and then in Fed and they were and they were stoked on it
Yeah, I don't okay. I just I feel like they weren't that's what we're taught in Egypt school. Oh, really?
Yeah, because they're thinking about making another one. Yeah. Yeah, so you're from Jordan, too. I was born there
Are you born there? You're born in Jordan. Yeah, let me try it. Let me see it. Do you know where it is Cairo?
Oh my I was in Egypt. Oh, it is. Oh my god. Oh, I thought Egypt was in Cairo. Oh
My god, what Cairo is in Egypt. Okay anxiety Bobby. I don't know my say mark. This is part of your say mark
J guys, this is I like this. All right. All right. You make me feel good
Smart well, I want to say though that um, you know, I know all joking aside
You know, I really think that number one. You're a nice guy number two
I find you to be very funny and talented. Thanks. Number three. Um, you're ageless. You seem the same. Thank you
When you said that earlier though when I said I would you didn't like that
Well explain to me what explain to people what you said I said you don't you said I'm 49 I'm 49
That's what you said and then I say you don't look but you don't look it
That's the best part, but then you said but but Cass. I don't like that because I feel it. I feel old
Well, first of all, what is it a Korean 49 year old look like I think me. I'm gonna Google other 49 year old Korean
Okay, Google that and number two. It's like who gives a fuck of what the exterior looks like the engine's broken
Right, so if you have you know, I mean a brand new just listen, right? I'm trying. Let's say you take a I don't let's say an
Old car like what's an a really old car a Saturn a
Saturn a 97
97 Saturday, right? But then you take a brand new
Tesla, what do you call it the actual car?
But you put a Saturn engine in it. Yeah, right. It's not gonna move like a Tesla, right?
So that's what I'm basically trying to explain. So you're saying you you look like a Tesla on the outside
You're a top of the line outside inside. You're a Saturn
Okay, I maybe that's I maybe I'm being you know grandiose about yeah, right? I don't want to say
You're like a new Jeep grand chair there with that there we go. That feels comfortable or Honda CR
There we go hatchback from the 90s. Yeah, what is a 49 year old Korean?
You know, I googled it and it turns out they're all handsome. It's the same just with a cigarette in his hand
These gorgeous Korean celebrities definitely don't look their age. I mean, here's one. That's 50
Go ahead and he's Korean. I mean Daniel. They Kim is like 50 in his 50s. Yeah, okay
Well, also here's a Moroccan man. Oh, I can see why I can see there we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so Barack
I you know, I don't think I know a Moroccan period. You don't end of sentence. Well, I know one
No, you don't. Oh
I do I do
What did they build to I know to you and this other person? No, I'm kidding
But I did see a movie lesson that you made me watch it was so good. What was it called?
Social Dilemma. Oh, wait. No, hold on. Which one like Charlie Kaufman one? No, the social dilemma. Oh the document
Yes, social dilemma. You see it. No. Oh my god, you please watch it. Okay
It's about what you know, social media, you know, it's done good things for our society
It's connected people and there's some beautiful things, but it's also the cause of the
polarization in this country and
There's no such thing as real truth anymore and that if we continue on this path
Inevitably the outcome is going to be civil war
Yeah, yeah, I got you know, I had to take it a real break from social media or like pull myself
You know kind of when I stopped making YouTube videos and I had to stop being so active online
Because I was so depressed, but I didn't realize it until like it got bad
Yeah, you know my drinking got real bad and then I had to what soon as I kind of took a break from social media
I started feeling better. I'm like, oh, yeah, like I'm not, you know, this is things are okay
If I don't go online, I won't read a certain thing that'll fuck up my day
Yeah, you know or like ruin my month or what is something that would ruin your day
You know, I mean, I think I'm used to it by now, but like a lot of stuff about my appearance back in the day
It's like I grew up. I grew up picked picked on I had acne. I had like crooked teeth
I just got invisible on but like I have a big nose and those are all things like
I when I started making YouTube videos, I was like, yeah, I know all that like that's fine
I'm that's why I'm gonna try and be funny and then
And then you make videos and people still comment on it and it's like, yeah, all right
You know like maybe next week when I put up this next video people will pay attention to what's happening in the video and not
comment on my nose again. Yeah, I just I mean it became like
You start getting to a point where you think you're okay and you're comfortable with who you are
And then you start reading like, yeah, maybe my nose is like, right? Maybe you maybe I should just shave it a little bit
Yeah, like these guys might be right, you know, I you know, maybe
Maybe maybe the way my lips, you know the distance between my nose and my you can read some pretty specific comments on
online and and they can
Well, we can eat in you
We could have really helped you out back then with a whole nose thing because I have a set of girlfriends who are
Obsessed like they think guys with small noses are
horribly ugly. They only like guys with
prominent noses and they
Fan us that we send pictures in the group text of just men with big noses
You're probably I love that but let me do you do you think that's because they think that the nose is like somehow
The size of noses related to the size of the penis. No, no
By all means. No, it's everything to do with
Um going down on a girl and where the nose actually as a pressure point. Oh as a
You know, I do notice that I do a very good job down there
Really? Yeah, that's nice to hear. I've gotten that feedback. Yeah. Yeah, and I love what are they gonna say?
I love it. What are they gonna say Casem? Oh, no, that was not good
Well, I've never been told that I've been sloppy down there not to me
But to their girlfriends at brunch have I not been sloppy down there. I'm gonna say that look houses
No, it's not it's you're not gonna go to the Olympics for it. Yeah, what's sloppy mean cuz I guess wet
I look like Jess and Paulic painting
He doesn't do it it almost seems like he doesn't do it, you know how like
For women it's such like a mental thing so when a guy like looks like he's there for it and like enjoys it
Yeah, it's a really big like, you know what I do is I look up. I make eye contact. Yeah. Oh weird
Yeah, yeah, I don't look no because when a girl blows you like this and then
Yeah, but what but bro when a girl blows you and they look up. Yeah, I have to do this like don't
Lock eyes with me a lot of guys. I hear like that like no, no, I would have poked it
Yeah, yeah, but when I'm looking at yeah
I learned eating. I know this is I know let's just we'll talk about a little bit, right?
Let me just let me just explore this. Okay a little bit. Yeah, I learned how to do it
Via hmm pornography, of course, right? Yeah, so I in the beginning like I would do things that were like women were like
Why did you do that? Hmm? Like?
Right I'll spit in it. That's fine. I know but it's like a choggy
Oh, you were like mucus. Yeah, like mucus chogi. Yeah. Yeah, we used to call them chogi
Chogi back in the day that was chogi it right. That sounds chunky. Yeah, it's chunky, right? Yeah. Yeah, so I learned or you know, I
Don't want to know don't do that with your fingers again
Yeah, so you learn you I learned and I just realized that women don't really like it, you know, I mean, yeah the porn way
Yeah, yeah, they do babe. They do. Yeah. Yeah, you like no, no, no, no
We're not gonna talk about what I like. Okay. Okay. We're gonna assess your your hands. This is your skills
Yeah, yeah, so you're good at that, but you can I say about your nose? Yeah, please
This is my eye. I'm jealous of your nose. Mm-hmm
Yeah, you look very stoic to me. Yeah, like for instance, right if you were like
The grant what's what's the Grand Canyon with that president's face rush?
What's the Grand Canyon?
We knew exactly what he was. Yeah. Yeah, we got to the fucking answer. Yeah, Rushmore. Yeah, Mount Rushmore, right?
If I was a president, right and they were gonna chisel my face it would take three minutes
Right, they just flatten it out check check the eyes and then that's it, right with you
They have to really carve out the nose right and get the start there. It would take months and years maybe to get it
Right, it may be ten years. You have a stoic face. It's like, you know on a coin
You would look good. We've we've talked we've we've said I have coin face
Yeah, and our YouTube video that we did together. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do remember. Yeah, I look yeah
I look like I should be on a coin. Yeah, not American money
Yeah, like something with a dictator like a country that dictators money
Also, can I say this is when you a lot of times? I'll look at photos from the 1920s or the 1800s
And I say to myself even if there were Asians in this scenario
They would know I was from the future. I just don't look like that. Yeah, right?
I just they would know that like what alien creatures this right with you
I feel like you can go to any era
Throughout the history of time. Yeah, and blend in time. I agree. That's actually one of the sweetest things anyone's ever
Not being real. Yeah, and I know you are yeah, and I appreciate it
So that so you should it that you know really be appreciated if I were to time travel
I think I'd have a all I'd got I'd have to do is just get the clothing and I'd blend in seamlessly
And I but also you could play back in the 20s, right or the 1800s
You could have been any job like you could have been a lawyer a doctor like you have that face, right?
Yeah, you for me
It's like he either carries a rice from one, you know, I mean plant price plantation to another plantation, right?
Yeah, or like I'm in a pond, right? Just like, you know raising koi fish. Yeah. Yeah, there's not a lot of things
I see you squatting with like a bowl of rice
Yeah a hole in the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's basically
Yeah, yeah, you know what, you know, I mean I would be doing back then. Yeah with you
You your face and the way your body is and everything about you is very timeless. Love it. Thank you
Thank you so much. I don't see zits on your face
Well, I had to get Accutane and they you know and then when you do that they say don't drink
That's all I did was drink. Mm-hmm. I really did some damage
Yeah, but it was worth it because I want to cast him
I want to learn because I saw the documentary last and this is Rihanna and she probably thinks is this is just a fad for me
But it really was scary about social media and I I'm I want to turn off all my notifications
Mm-hmm. I might even delete Instagram and Twitter for a while. Yeah, it's good to take breaks. Yeah
Because I find that my depression is very closely associated with
Right now what's going on in the world? Mm-hmm
But it's all skewed, right and it's all um
You know because of these algorithms and stuff
It's like you and what I learned from the documentary is is that if I could Google one thing, right?
And if I Google the same exact thing if I lived in Alabama a
Bunch of different things would come up because it feeds into what order you you liked before or what?
Yeah, like the it the internet knows you mean what your personal bias your personal bias confirmation bias
So people get information in different kinds of ways, which is why we have such a polarization in this country
And it's like now it gave me some
Empathy for the other side it really did you know because you know if I'm getting one
Set of information and somebody's getting another set of information
Obviously, it's gonna pit us against each other. So I just at the end of the day
I don't want to get involved with any of it. Yeah
I totally and the fact that you said you get you had empathy for the other side is like
Such a crucial point that so hard. It's not as bad. It's horrible. It's not as bad as we think it is
Yeah, you know and
Unfortunately, it's like
We are being pitted against each other like via our own country via other countries. Yeah, Russia and Iran and China
It's an
It's it's it's
Really, we don't disagree on as much as we think we do and you're not gonna sway somebody's opinion by going after them on Twitter
Uh-huh, and you know, I mean at the end of the day
How many calories is it worth burning on trying to like roast somebody on Twitter for liking Trump or yeah
The opposite right right and yet totally closely associated to my depression
So the second I relieve myself or if I spend time away from Instagram or like I'm not worried about who's liking the photos
Or who's retweeting me the more the better I feel
Absolutely, I'm the same way. Yeah, and I such a source of
Of not good feelings for me. Oh any kind actually just being on my phone not even necessarily being on social media
but even
Googling stuff even on my email anything relating to
For a gadget in front of my face. It doesn't tap into like my natural state of being at all
It feels very at an abnormal connection
Totally and I don't I don't like that
So when I'm away from it, I start to feel more grounded. I start to feel like I'm into in in my own body again
Absolutely, and the only problem with it is like especially for what we do
You can become irrelevant so fast if you're not posting on the daily
Yeah, and so like I've you know
I made the decision to kind of like pull back but at the same time, you know
You lose any sort of traction you may have online and then like that's affecting your income
And so do you have to draw you have to like make a balance with like I'm okay with not being in
This grind all day as long as I can be kind of happy because when I was in the ground I was miserable, right?
Yeah, there's a direct. That's a good point
There's a direct correlation between what I do for a living and social media, especially now, right?
so in many ways you still have to
I mean, I've never been a big poster myself, you know, I don't post a lot but still I still need to do it every once in a while
So it's just something that I'm gonna have to figure out as we go forward
But I think there's a way I think that I've I've there's I'm starting to realize
What how I can use it in a way that does bring some sort of joy into my life?
And it's it's if I like what I'm gonna post and if I don't feel obligated
I always ask myself there. I feel obligated to do this. Do I really enjoy this content myself?
Like what's and it's usually a Bobby doing something silly. Those are the best and it brings it makes me giggle
So then I'm like, okay, I want to share this. Yeah
Yeah, so it's things that generally them really do make me happy that I post now versus before where it's like, you know tits out
Didn't make me happy. No comments made me happy and now it's just like no
I'm just gonna put Bobby's a little happy belly on there. Yeah, speaking of tits out
So gonna tits out. Where's your yo, what happened to your girl, baby? Oh, I so
It's hard, you know, it's hard to
Good segue. It's agreeable Bobby asked me Bobby asked me if I was in a relationship when when I got here
Because honest and
honestly
Out of all the guests I've ever had on this podcast, you're probably one of the most handsome. That's too far
Yeah, and that's too much and too close and real. Yeah, right?
Well, I look like if I was gay, let's just go even further. Well, you've done some stuff and
That way just let it let let that sink in. All right. Let that sink in. That's an attack. No, no, no
It's not it's a fact could be a compliment. It is a compliment. Yeah, yes
I have but in my when I was a kid as
As as an adult I have no gay vibes
It's basically like, you know, how in prison you just have what is it called like?
Circumstantial
Homosexuality or something to that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that for him
That's probably what happened as a kid with the drugs and the lack of availability for anything but a penis
You'd be one of the first guys I would cuddle
Well, there we have the most cuddly body he does. He's just so mushy and warm
But you know, his body is actually not very warm. It's like a nice. There's a coolness to it
So I run hot. So when I hold him it feels really comforting. Thank you. I appreciate it
Mushy cool ball. Mushy is a little too far. Mushy cool ball. Oh, hold on. Yeah, oh wishy
Squishy because you have Nick, you know Nick Yosef. Yeah. Yeah, so you have Nick also is a guy that like
I've said on the road. I've looked at his eyes and go sure that was gay. I'd probably fuck you
Right, maybe you have the same nose fetish as me and my maybe I do but that flatters me just as much as if it was
Yeah, it's it's fucking shocks me that you even have any kind of you know, you know
What are you trying to ship with your hand? No, no, no
It shocks me that you even have any kind of like, you know negative
Um, oh, I see image towards yourself about your body and your face
I I look at your face and I go that's you know me a classic face, baby
I love coming here
It's just interesting because now I go maybe all human beings
Look in the mirror and they go. I don't like this. I don't like that, you know me
But at the end of the day, you know, it's like, you know, I'm not no fucking, you know
Isn't that crazy? Yeah, isn't that crazy that we think think that way? Yeah
Yeah, I look I I hear you and I have a killer therapist that I just got this year and this guy's so good
He's so fucking good and he makes me feel real good
But you know, it takes sometimes I gotta feel real bad before I feel real good
Right gotta talk it out
But yeah, it's the first time in my life where I think I can I can look into a mirror
And be okay with the the guy, you know the guy looking at me, but um speaking of tits, so um the girl
Yes, so I was yeah, I just the pandemic has been terrible for everyone right people losing their jobs and and and
I I don't want to make it seem like I'm complaining, but I will complain and uh
I was in a relationship where we had dated years and years ago and then we started dating again
Last year
And it like, you know when you date somebody before and then you start dating him again years later
It's like accelerated because you kind of know we were on up. We were just going real fast
We ended up buying a house together
Wow, and we were in escrow as soon as the lockdown happened
We were like in escrow for a few days already
And that really and then we were also fighting so so now we're in escrow
We can't leave the house
And now we have to stay in the house together and we hadn't lived together yet
and so
It just turned into just like fight after fight and it was we were trying to do therapy
And it was just all this stuff and it just didn't work out. We came to the realization that we just weren't
compatible
After we had spent millions of dollars
Sometimes that's what it takes. Yeah
Dude and you know everyone's and I just and she wanted this place in venice and like
I lived in venice for a while and and I was like I get the appeal. It's like cool
But I don't it's expensive and there's homeless people everywhere and it's uh
Everything's crammed and it's like, you know, there's a lot of guys with coffees and you know, yeah
And little dogs and it's fine. I get the appeal
But she really had she's in love with venice
So like I had to move and I own a home already
I have a house and so I was gonna rent it out and be like a landlord guy and like I did all this stuff and found great tenants
And they were gonna pay a
A month like a great monthly
Rental fee and then I was gonna move into this place that she wanted
And it was it was like on the boardwalk pretty much
A hundred feet away from one of the biggest encampments in venice. Oh, wow
And it was like, why am I, you know, it's like it was just it's just why why would I I just spent so much money?
And I'm not happy. You know, I'm not happy about it. We're fighting so much
Nightmare and then we just came to the, you know, we just got in one fight. She's like, I don't want you moving in
And and I was like, okay, you know, like I had to go tell my renters
Uh, whoops, you know
I actually got to live here, you know right now and they were super cool and they totally understood
But did she take over the mortgage of the house then?
She okay, so I paid the down payment and she got the loan
Since I don't have like a job. I couldn't you know, I wasn't gonna get approved
Yeah, I just have assets, but I had cash. So I put up the the amount for the deposit and
Um, and that's still something we're working on
The paying back of that, but um, that was our agreement. So now she has a mortgage
Um, and she also has to you know, we're working out so she pays me back to deposit, but everything's okay
We're not like, you know adversaries or anything like that, but it just
It just wasn't the the pandemic just did not help, but I'm glad it kind of
Made everything happen faster. We saw how things were gonna be probably, you know in a much quicker
thing and and um
Everything happens for a reason and it's fine. I'm in therapy where everything's you know people like Venice, right?
But then it's like the first time I went there. I'm on the boardwalk or whatever
And then you see a naked black man on a skateboard playing an electric guitar. Yeah, right? Yeah coming towards you full speed
Right and you're like, what the fuck is this? Yeah a david lynchman. Why is this okay?
Like why and then another thing happened is I was supposed to meet my manager because she lives there
Yeah at a bar there, right? So I parked my car. This isn't venice. This is years ago. Maybe 18 years ago
It was late at night and I and I went down an alleyway and there was a fat white man
naked
I don't know why people aren't always naked, right? And he goes
Right and I was a kind of afar. I was like what what?
Just look at it. Oh
That's what he said. Yeah, just and and I don't know why but I looked at it. Wow, and then I was in a trance
What did it look like? What did you see? It was fat. It was fat because he was fat, right?
And it was shiny. Oh shiny. Oh, it was probably wet. Maybe
It was the sun right and then I remember going to the bar
Going um
Abby there was this fat over there
Fat naked man with it, right and she goes. Oh, yeah, that's frank. Oh, did she like knew the guy?
Yeah, yeah, that's frankie simsmore or whatever. Oh
Yeah, he doesn't
You have to know your your local transients and you have to build relationships with them
Yeah, like I think that's a healthy way to do it and you have to like, you know, that way you're you know your hood
Yeah, you got to know the hood
But there's this fine line of like you don't want to
You don't want to like enable their
Drug use, you know by like, you know, but you also want to be compassionate
It's a very the whole homelessness thing in venice
Especially is like the hottest thing to talk people love talking about it, you know in front of the coffee shop
Like buy them, you know. Yeah. Yeah, like what are we gonna do about this? And why don't you fucking talk to that?
I mean, it's like they're they're everywhere and um, I was at the beach last week and just walking
Uh, and there was a nude man
Amidst family there was families. There was kids. Yeah. Yeah, and there was just a nude guy
Uh, belly down so all you just saw his butt, but he was obviously a pervert like waiting for that moment to turn over
And I was like looking for a lifeguard or somebody around because I was gonna
I was gonna I was gonna narc on this dude because it's this is like what he's doing is is it's not okay
But there was no lifeguard around everyone's just like, okay with it. There's kids building a sand castle like 50 yards away
I mean, it's not venice
peaked probably
Eight years ago right before snapchat. I
Agree, but you know, um, there was um when I was in high school. We had uh our local
Um transient lady on the 483 bus. We called her sideways. Yeah, she had like a leaning gait
She didn't have a lot to say she would she would spit out a lot of like biblical verses
But she was the lady that helped out my sister and I when a man was sexually harassing us
And we were new to America at this time
And this guy had put his penis in between a book and he started jerking off like this with his book
Which is clever by the way, but very clever terrible terrible. Yeah, never seen that move, but it was sideways
You've never yeah, yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, but it was sideways who
Flipped out on him and basically called him a pervert like it was it would you got a little you got to know your people
In your hood like if you're not trying to get to know the people living around you
And anyway, you know the gaur underpass there where we used to live
And you know how jessica used to live a block away from us, but I would have to walk through that encampment
Yeah, I knew the guys there. There was a guy in a tent. Yeah, it was an australian man
And he I had to let him know when I was passing because if he didn't know it was me I'd be like kevin
It's me. He would start throwing pots and pans at people
So if I'd be like, hey, what's up kevin? It's just me. All right, you know
Yeah, then no pats and pans would get thrown at my head and I could just you know
Because he was having any time he would have some like, you know, because a lot of them have have mental illness
You know, they have some psych issues and stuff. So you have to be like
Compassionate about that. Yeah, but can I just say this about the compassion?
I feel bad for homeless
Let's get that on the one. Sure. Yeah now say the good bit
Hey, what's the funny part? I do the yeah the part that we actually all really believe
Yeah, no, but it's like, you know
It's like, you know
Like, you know, I was in tiwana once and there was a homeless person with no arms and legs
Right, it was just why you're smiling. I'm not yet. Okay. He's just stretching his lips. Yeah, and he's like mister
Mister, you know, we don't have any money mister
And I didn't know what to do with it. I had
Oh, that's so I stuck it in the mouth
And he opened his mouth. I'm sure he did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I stuck it right in the mouth
And I just walked away and I and then my friend was like, you just stuck money in the where the fuck am I gonna put it?
Like a vending machine. Yeah. Yeah, he had hands. Maybe his pocket. No, no, no
It was just like me I stuck in his mouth and he couldn't say, you know, I mean, thank you because his mouth was you wanted to
Would you stick in there? What quarter? No, no, no, no, it was no, it was like a five dollar bill. You know what I mean?
Yeah, or it's like, you know, it like in if you go to like different countries and stuff, right? You see homeless
It's another level. It's like you'll just be walking down the street and then just like a head would roll by
Where have you been?
You know what I mean, it's just like
And so homeless people in america, right? Dude, it's so compassionate. I know dude. I'm trying to my heart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
And it's like, I don't know like like when I see a homeless guy walking, right? Sometimes
Sometimes I'm just like I don't want to deal with it
Yeah, I walk across the street. That's a natural walk the other way. Now. Is that wrong? No
No, if someone's having like a full blown like psychotic episode in front of me
Like you we see those a lot in la obviously. They're in the middle of the street. They're naked. They're doing 13 costume changes
Cursing. We know what that looks like. Of course. I wouldn't just be like, hi. Can I get you some soup?
Like that's a fucking idiot move. Yeah, but if someone is just, you know, minding their own business and they're like, hey, can you know
I went to most of the 7-eleven
And I saw a man. He was wearing like a suit
Right fancy like a full blown suit and from afar
But he is arguing he's talking right in his bluetooth arguing with
Like crying about like some girl broke up with him. Yeah, he was like Veronica
You know what I mean? Why'd you do this? Veronica, right?
And I was just walking toward him because he was near the entrance of the 7-eleven
And then I realized he had no shoes
Right and I realized there was no bluetooth. Yeah, right and he was just going Veronica
Yeah, right and it's so sad when you see yeah, but then you don't know what to do
You you just walk by and you go it's me Veronica
You help him out. Oh, maybe do that. I you know one of the way I went to skid row. I had to speak at a meeting
And I drive a Porsche, you know
I drive a I drive a truck too, but I took a Porsche
And uh, they didn't tell you they said you can't park at the mission. There's no there's no parking
You have to find parking I parked on one of these streets where there's like there's no authority
There's just it's like the Wild West, you know
Yeah, it's like instead of a tumbleweed. It's just like garbage and yeah
And guys are walking across diagonally in different directions looking at you not looking at you and I parked
And I got out and I was like that's the last time I'm gonna see my car like that's
Like a moment where I had to and then I was like dude you you you were being a little you know
I I was in such a weird spot because I was going to do service
You know I was gonna provide service and speak about sobriety and speak to uh homeless people about like
This is what it's like when you sell a company become a millionaire
You could do it
Yeah, yeah, but you know then I I was in my own head about like oh no this guy's gonna he's gonna shit on it
Or he's gonna you know, this is just it's so you can feel both you can feel scared
Compassionate you can do things to help. Yeah
You know, we're we're in a situation where the the local government isn't doing anything right and so yeah
You want to get a a thing of water and like leave it leave it outside somewhere where there's like an encampment like cool
Like that's yeah, you know what? I mean it it's not gonna make a big difference
But it's like it's a human thing to do
I can still drive my sports car and like not feel super guilty about it, but a little bit and and
The world will I guess will keep going, but um
that that's funny that you say that because um
I did talk to my therapist last week about there is a feeling big
God, I don't know if I want to even talk about it out loud because it's kind of embarrassing, but um
There there is
shame
Because I feel so lucky
You know, I really do I feel so blessed and lucky
to be in the situation that I am
But then on the other hand, I also feel guilt almost like you know, I I know I did work hard
for what I have
and um
Nothing came easy, but there's still I'm you know, I still have to admit that
You know in this pandemic people are struggling fucking hard
And I haven't struggled that hard. You know, I still have this podcast on my other one
And I have
Incoming coming in and also I'm kind of lazy. I mean I'm just getting I'm getting lucky things, you know
And I'm very lucky guy, but there is a sense of shame that comes with that. I don't know what it is totally
Do you feel that? Absolutely? Yeah
It happens on a daily basis where it's like I'm a I'm an imposter like this all I was super lucky
You know, then you talk yourself out of it like well, no
Like it took skill and hard work to get to that point where you could be lucky and opportunity meets chant, you know
It's like but yeah, I mean, I think that's good. It's healthy to to feel gratitude in that way. Yeah
I just feel fucking bad for some people man. Yeah, it's fucking terrible. It's a terrible
It's a terrible time people like George are succeeding
I know I do do don't even get me started and there's people living underneath the freeway
Fucking George George
Is like making a living this guy George is playing war zone every night. Yeah, well people are hungry
Yeah, people are hungry. There's a squad
squad at the my station
To all the roof price
Wow, I haven't played with you yet tonight. You think tonight tonight will play. Yeah
It's uh, yeah, look you I think it just you pointing out to the fact that you could feel guilty and but you know, you worked hard
I think that's
That's a huge that's huge. No, I want to I want to be more grateful for what I have, you know
um
And you know, I I don't know why I forgot this but
The sobriety thing with you. I forgot that you were sober. Oh, yeah, I was
You were one of the first
people
When I was getting sober I was like, oh no, I'm never gonna be able to like because I did getting dug with high
Like I was on getting dug with high like 14 fucking times and I'm like, you know, when you're getting sober
You start like, well, I'm never gonna be able to do that podcast
Like that's what you said. That's what you worry about. Yeah, like your life's falling apart. Yeah
um
And and I was like, well
No, there's like sober guys out there. It's like Bobby Bobby Lee. He's like
Yeah, I don't know 20 or 15 years sober like he does it. He goes out there every day
And when you're going through all the steps, you're like, oh, I'm gonna lose my funny
I'm gonna stop being funny. You know, I'm gonna get rid of all my defects one of my defects is sarcasm
And I'm gonna lose that and I'm gonna stop being funny. Right and then you realize it's not it's not true
But um, you were like one of the examples. What a terrible example you turned out
No, but you it was nice to know that there were sober guys in comedy because it's it's uh, at first
It's scary to think because you just think everyone. No, everyone has to you have well
You fucking learned a valuable lesson for me. Absolutely. All right. Yeah, maybe that maybe I'm the lesson you fucking cocksucker
You are yeah, right the lesson is when you drift away
Right and you think that it's no longer a disease and that you have a beat
And it slips back in. Yeah, you know and so you always have to stay connected
You always have to go to meetings. Yeah, you always have to call your sponsor
You always have to check in with newcomers and and do the whole thing and you have to stay in the middle of the program
And you always responded to me when I sent you a
text or dm about
Being sober or something you always responded and you were always I did because I was a good guy
You are you are I don't remember responding. You're the first person on it. It was a dm. You know a dm
That's why I was gonna say you responded to a text. You've been the first. Yeah
You know, it was important to me and then like you said you you can have an elliptical sort of relationship with
sobriety sometimes you're out out here in fucking interstellar space
And you're not going to meetings and you're not talking to anyone you're not talking to newcomers
And then you'll feel that you'll feel how cold it is out there and then you'll come back around the sun and then you'll
You know, it's that happens with sobriety and I'm only a few years in I feel like I've gone a couple times around
Well, you have much time. Do you have enough? I mean if I make it through this year, it'll be four years in January amazing
In november, I'll have a year again. Yeah in november
It's funny because
you know, I like going to
Mostly mixed meetings. I like mixed meetings. I like meetings that aren't like hollywood, you know, yeah
But I have to admit though, there are times when you when you're at a meeting in like, you know
When you go to log cabin back in the day or whatever and you sit next to like, you know
There was this old man. I sat next to the last time I got sober
Who was an Academy Award winner like a legend? I can't say his name
And he sat next to me and he goes
How you doing, you know, and he was and he was just treating me like a regular guy and you have I need people
That are on different sex of life, you know, I mean sex sex s e c t
You get that he's also he's also british, correct?
Okay
Fuck you man. You doing research. I'm trying to think now, right? So um
And you you you want to be able to see like, you know, homeless people get sober
and
Because I've seen many times where homeless people got sober and then
Five years later, they have a wife and kids and a family and it's like wow
Yeah, that works, but you also want to see successful people in your field
Yeah, do it and go oh shit
Someone so so much more successful than me and this is the route they took
This is you know, you see the pathway, you know, yeah
So you want to see the gambit, but you know for me being drugged out and all that stuff, although, you know, I want to do ayahuasca
Yeah, I the girl I do podcast. I do a podcast by the way
Yeah, so yeah promote that what it's called. Uh, it's called pajama pants and I do it with
Rob Eyler and jamie lynn sigler. Um, they were the kids on the sopranos
None of us have watched the soprano, so it's not a soprano's
And uh jamie does ayahuasca and she talks about it in a way that's like every time she goes
She's like opening a new fucking door in her life and it's and it's like, oh dude as a sober guy that sounds good
But that's my addiction going like yeah, dude
You probably get buzzed too and then like, you know, that'll turn into mushrooms once a week or maybe you'll might but will it
I mean for me it will it will
Yeah, it will for him too because while we were watching that show unwell and they had an episode on ayahuasca
and at first he had me convinced that he
He was on board with the whole idea of ayahuasca being um kind of you know, it helps with sobriety helps with ptsd
Helps with trauma all that stuff. So I was like, hmm. Maybe talk to your sponsor
Maybe open that conversation and then as you know as the documentary was going he was getting even more excited
He's like, oh, well, when can we do it? Yeah, and then when I get that like maybe in October in Mexico
And then he started and the way he was even just his pressured fantasy and I was already down
I was like, yeah, yeah, maybe I'm gonna do it
But I just know that's where he's gonna take it and he's gonna be doing ayahuasca for like three years
No a week later. I'll be sucking cock for crack. Yeah, I think so
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Hey guys, do we have an unhelpful advice? We do
Do you know how we have a at the end? Yeah, no, I've seen the show
A big huge fan. Do you have guests on your show? Yeah, never been asked
Uh, well, that's well, well, that's that's not true. Well, I've been asked and you've asked me look George
We can agree that George is the worst
That's a great there. You know what?
This is the can I just say this before you get into advice
George is so bad at his job
When we started our podcast, we
We had it. It's very you guys know, it's hard to get a podcast going and like get some traction and we just did
We just did our first finished our first year and
We thank you and um Gill's sister produces it. That's great and Bryce, which you guys know, we love the price
They produce it. They do a killer job
Um, I originally came to George with the idea to help us with it
George has been in no
No way shape or form a part of this podcast
When when we just started getting like bigger numbers and like getting spikes from having guests like your mom's house
And joey Diaz and all these guys we get these big spikes
And then we we actually have like a decent listenership now and then guess who comes out
I guess who comes out of the the year later. He's like, hey, let's talk about growing. Let's talk about where we're at
Let's hey you got hey. We're only upwards and onwards for us
Buzz Lightyear
And beyond yeah
So I just want to say uh, fuck you. Fuck you dude. Fuck you dude
Oh, oh, yeah pajama pants. Yeah, we can we don't need you. Okay. Yeah
Yeah, gill sis gill sister gabby and brice are the architects
And they do everything and you are you are you are just you're sucking on this tiger valley tea and you would
You would be nowhere. I love this. You would be nowhere without me
You would be nowhere without bobby lila and this and you should you should be cutting a piece of whatever you're making
This guy's getting married his life is fucking perfect. Yeah games. Amy's married
No, you know that it's actually brice who wrote me on instagram saying hey
It wasn't george
It was brice. It was brice. It was like, do you remember that george? It was it was brice who brokered that deal. So technically
brice is you know
Brice are you happy?
This is what people think about you. This is fun
This is good stuff. You're a good sport though, right? Yeah
But you know what, you know, I don't think that I would um, I don't think I can't I'm not gonna give you a compliment
Unhopeful vice with bobby. Kalilah in cast some gene
This is a female listener. Uh, yo sleepers question
I'm married to a woman who I've been with for six plus years and I love her to itty bitty
microscopic pieces
We were close friends ended up hooking up and fell madly in love and it's been full of ups downs and all arounds
But here's the question
I'm bisexual and have a high sex drive. She doesn't
Went to twice a month kind of sex drive
I don't want to force her into sex obviously, but we're totally unmatched in that department
I'm on ssri's and I smoke weed. So my sex drive is diminished as it possibly can be
I don't particularly want to have an open relationship, but my sexual needs aren't being met
I masturbate three to four times a week and that's fine, but I'd rather be having sex with my wife
What suggestions do you have for me? Mm-hmm?
That's crazy that he's on ssri's. What's that? She's like it's a anti-depressants. So like selexa
Oh, these are two women two women. Oh, okay. So because when I was on ssri's
Oh, my god, my libido was shot to shit. I went through a period where my
Right after I got sober too. I just didn't want to
Yeah have any sex barely jerked off never looked at porn
Yeah, it took it took a while to come back, but I think there's an important thing about compatibility and how to like
When when I when we were in therapy when I was in a relationship
They talked about um, you you make a list and what on that list is sex and like one person says how much
They would like to have it per week and the other person says and then you guys see where the difference is and then you try to agree on
Something in the middle
You have to have an open dialogue with her about it, right? You can't be something that's an internal
strife for you and you have to um
Talk about it and secondly, it's like um, you know
For me, I haven't ejaculated
Twice it's a quiet. I know I just you feel like your libido's gone down a bit. Oh a lot
I've been ejaculated in six days
Oh, you got a lot a lot of little comies down there. Yeah. Yeah a little coming could build up down here
Yeah, and it's like, um, you know when I get like, you know a handful in my hand a handful of comies
Yeah, yeah, okay. Is that where you do it? Yeah, I'll just go and I'll just like this
Yeah, sometimes I'll do this the web. I'll turn to the spider-man who doesn't right? Yeah, you know, I mean I do a thing
But um, I smell it. Do you ever smell it?
No, I can smell it
From from from a leaf. I believe mine smells like bleach. It always smells like chlorine for me. Yeah
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I smell it
A little you know made sometimes a little lick. Sure. See if it's healthy. Yeah, see it's healthy, but you know
Seven days ago when I did masturbate
Um, a little drop came out and I get concerned
And then once that gets in my head, I don't know why I'm just sharing this. No, please do
Okay, once once once I get that in my head, right? Um, I go I have to do a build up now
I have to build it. So I'm that just building you weren't happy with the amount that came out what you're saying
It's a sad amount like I'm dying
That's so funny because we just I had this conversation
Um with my pal rob on porn. They're advertising
Semen X or something where it's like increasing the volume of your load
Oh, and like like I didn't know that's the pill. I maybe but it's increasing the your
sperm count or just flat. Oh the splats
So it's basically like oh really? Yeah, that would make sense if you were a performer, but for any other like that's just not
I don't want to have to wipe more out of my belly. I could use one less tissue
I use usually two tissues and then two cotton L wipes is where I
Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a fair amount. That's good, right? Yeah. I mean he already is like he he is like a little baby little
Little how about you guys? I'm really into it. Like I'm really into the fact that he nuts so little
Okay, how about you compromise when he's with you?
Yeah, just the natural stuff when you're by yourself huge splats with the pill. Yeah, please don't take that stuff
I would hate to see you. I just want to experiment with it. So if I got you some get me some please
I'll try because I feel like it's a cool response is already very like big and cartoon like that
I don't want a lot. What do you mean? What does it look like like you're in tetany?
Like you're at the end stages of you know, tetanus
Yeah, I do. I do. No, I do dramatize it a bit. No, you don't babe. There's nothing, you know, you you're you hand it up a bit
You hand it up. Yeah, what do I do? He looks like Linda Blair like
Yeah, like the full like out, you know, yeah, yeah, I will arch my back. Yeah, my back is always arched. Yeah, it'll go
I'll make a noise like that
Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, he's way more dramatic. I'm very dramatic about it because it hits my spine
Oh, yeah when I come it it hits my spine raise the lord babe. That's wonderful
But that's what I'm saying. I don't need with that response. Yeah. Yeah, I already feel imagine with the then a fountain of fucking juice coming out
Wait, hang on
This um pill is it supposed to give you more ecstasy? No, because more nut coming out
No, it's just at more stuff. Oh wait, that's that's not it's all visual. Yeah, babe. Do not get this
I don't I won't get it, but just just try it once. It's texted. Yeah. Yeah, I will text me the information
I also want to try I've never really tried Viagra
Oh, I just did because the patent ran out. No, everyone's selling it. I got the forehands.com. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I could do one of my libido was low. Sorry. Yeah, go ahead
But when my libido was low, I was like, oh, maybe this will help and all it does
I thought it would make me horny. It doesn't it just gives you when you do get the boner. It stays
It stays which is not your problem because you
It stays for days. You never go soft. I've you've never gone soft in your life. Oh, I get what you're saying
It doesn't make you hornier. No, it's just when the blood gets in the fucking tube
Once it gets stays in there for a lit like maybe twice as long as it normally would I see I see get me some anyway
Yeah, I've been asking for like six months. You still haven't won't get me any. Yeah, George
Get healthy first. Just the worst. Why what does it do to your fucking blood pressure? Because it fucks with your blood pressure
You know, all the blood rushes it stuffs up your nose and it can give you a stomach ache. Oh, I'll then forget it
That's yeah, we'll then forget it. It works. Anyway, my dick works. Anyway, my dick works.
What's the point of a fucking long-lasting boner if you're just gonna poo all day?
You know what I mean? And you already poo a lot
Imagine having diarrhea with a heart. You can't get rid of the heart. Yeah, you're like, uh, you know, but your dick is hard
That's so embarrassing. Yeah. Well, the thing is with diarrhea is that you also pee while you're doing it
The true that you know a lot of people forget that you're peeing too was wondering with men
So when you have diarrhea, like when you poo, do you pee at the same time? Because it we do
I feel like the pee is coming out of my butthole. Yeah. Well, yeah, it is but I'm also peeing
Oh, you are on the front. Oh, you do a double thing. Maybe yeah, maybe I'm doing your gun gum and walking
You'd have to point your penis towards the pole then too. That's yeah, I mean normally that's where it's going
Yeah, and then if I had you had a boner that would present a this poor lady though. Let's go back to the lady
Yeah, yeah, you know thing. Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna have to have a discussion with her
And then if if but at the end of the day, it's like if you're not getting what you want out of a relationship
You might have to move on. Well, well hold your breaks. They're married. They love each other
Like she said she loves her to peace. Yeah, but if at the end of the day if she only wants it twice a month
And you want to go at the end of the day
Hey, fuck you. No, I'm just saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What you get what I'm saying
You know, I think that you're you're making a good point is that there's compatibility
There's there's just certain things that are core compatibility
Things in a relationship and sex is a big one
What you guys think about having kids is a big one
Money is a big one and if you don't line up on that stuff
Then it could present a problem. I mean, but you're already married. So I feel like you should have found out about that
I do wonder if maybe maybe at some point in her life like they were having sex more regularly and then all of a sudden
Her libido just dropped. What happens then? Let's say let's say
The love of your life just you know, you meet her tomorrow. You're having a whole lot of sex
Four years from now her hormones dip. She's just you know, twice a month kind of gal now
um, I
Look, I think if it was because we had kids and now she's just never horny
Um, and it wasn't because she was
Grossed out by me and she was still in love with me. She just has this, you know, and we talked about it
I'd be I'd be fine. I wouldn't want to go outside the marriage. I think that's just inviting a lot of danger
Let me ask you a question. Okay
And you know, and I want to use the proper words. Yeah, okay
Like you always do. Yeah, you know, so, you know, let's suppose you and I you didn't want to ever have it again
Your libido's gone. Yeah, right. Can't you just like
Just lay there
Let me just do it. No and you just go through the motions. I would that would breed so much resentment
The fact that you would still I'll do I'll do a power session and the fact that you would use my body knowing
That I wasn't into it. No, it would make me feel like I would want to kill you
Oh, so we have the answer there. Yeah, that's the answer. You know what I mean? Like I'm not gonna just I'm not a sacrificial fucking lamb
Like I'm a what have we discussed it like I just you know twice. So I know you don't want to have sex at all
Yeah, it's either I go out and I look for it somewhere else. Yeah, or you know, can you just lay there for a second?
And let me just point this also romantic. Oh my god. It's all this is romance. Okay
I'll have to find it somewhere else or just fucking lay there. Yeah one of the things I mean like look we go through some
Weird sexual slums and a lot of times it has to do with with wiki feet
Like there are things that in the beginning when I first started dating him. I did not like I didn't mind a lot of his
Hygiene quirks. I was like, yeah, I could deal with that. So if this woman is having
You know, there are a lot of things to talk about in regards to sex is what I'm saying
It isn't just a matter of yeah, you're meet you're not meeting in the middle. Fuck it. Like let's dissolve the marriage
It's not as simple as that
Maybe listen, I have a COVID testing coming. I have a COVID person coming at eight
Uh-huh. All right. So I gotta I gotta end it
All right, I could talk to cast them forever as as rick glasman would say that was a bad dismount
I think we should end on something more positive
No, no, I know we don't I'm gonna I'm not gonna end it right now. Like good night. Okay, right? This is really bad
I gotta get a better laugh by the way why my laugh is so cackly
So when I love your laugh when I listen do it on podcast
I cringe like that's my fucking laugh
Because I know the difference between your real genuine laugh and then performance laugh, right
Oh, that's a performance laugh. He's been doing that was a bit of a performance laugh and I think he hates that Bobby
I want to hear the real
Yeah, I like the performance. Yeah, the performance better. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, you know when people do impressions for me, they do the laugh the cackle. No, they'll go. Yeah
Yeah, you know me and it's like yeah, that's me. They always do the smoking. They do always smoking and always always crowd
Like Johnny Sanchez will always be crowd. You're right
Like that's another thing that I do a lot
apparently
That's not me guys
It's not the real I'm normal. All right, but um, you know, we should have done this sooner. Yeah, I appreciate it
We'd love you to have you back. Yeah, and we really like you on pajama pants. I would love to be on pajama jam, pajama jam
and um, you know, um
God bless you, man. Um, you look great. Um, don't feel bad about yourself. I think you're a very handsome guy. True
I'm pro cast some nose. Yeah, I'm a pro cast. Yeah. Thanks guys. Yeah, I loved uh coming here and and uh would love to do it again
Yeah, because you're you know, no people could say about your nose. No, we could have ended. No, I don't want to. Yeah
I don't want to dismount there. Yeah
Because you kind of have kind of the look of that, you know, the glasses nose thing that mark groucho mark groucho mark
See anything right? Yeah, but you don't Eric Griffin does
Yeah, Eric Griffin does you look great with that whole vibe. So anyway a slam to Eric. Um, give him a round of applause
What?
Great show guys. We'll be back in a second. Hey guys, uh, thank you for listening and watching this podcast
The jewels interviews bobby episode is on patreon more vlogs and live streams coming soon
But if you want to hear the exclusive audio content right now
You can find more at patreon.com slash tiger belly and uh, you guys wish you'd listen to it
We gave jules some questions to ask bobby, but she did better than our question. Yeah, she found her own question
She listened about her way better than what we offered. I accidentally walked in on that one too
Yeah, I didn't know what was happening because I was like busy upstairs trying to like deal with
Um construction and I came down and I was like yelling for bobby and I was like, really the fuck is everybody
They were just sitting downstairs and I walked in and she was she's like
Uncle Tito
I was like, all right
So look up for callila's cameo because basically she's a foreman now every time I talk to her
She's always like, yeah, I was with the construction people. You're always around construction people. I
Am aren't I you really are I'm staying busy guys. Yeah. Oh tell them about my um, um
Take your shoes off. Oh
If you guys want to see more callila calves
Check out all you weird fetish people out there. Check out callila on uh rick glasman's uh podcast take your shoes off podcast
Uh
Right, it's funny. Um, wait, hang on. Don't don't don't don't sell it
Sell it. All right fine. There's minimal edits in this. There's no bits. No goblin. No goblin
No kick poo. She doesn't change her shirt ever
There's no snapping fingers. No snapping fingers. It's a pretty standard podcast. Check it out if you want
Uh, let's get her to five million views
Let's uh, if the case actually the goal let's see if she can get more views than bobby
So because that will that will work out well here. Uh, no fighting at all
Uh, we want to thank our sponsors hams better health. Hello fresh and draft kings
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new users offer
George if I was married to a woman for six plus years and I had a question about my libido
Where can I ask that question? Oh, you would have to go to advice unhelpful at gmail.com to get your
interesting unusual and non-typical problem
That we can answer on the you phrased that so wrong and you wrote this copy sir
Well, I was trying to add lib and read it and you missed the most apartment part which is we're looking for
Yeah, so, uh, yeah, we're up
We want you to be part of the show as much as you want to be part of the show
So if you have anything you want to ask us
In the unhelpful questions go to advice
Email us at advice on help with gmail.com. All right. Well for more stuff like that go to george underscore kimmel
Uh, you can follow koala at calamity k
bobby at bobby lee live
And all your cast some g stuff at cast some g is that correct? Uh, g messick gets cast some g backwards
Cast some g backwards do that and also, uh, pajama pants too, uh youtube.com slash pajama pants to support brice and gabby
Yeah, because they do all the work and you just come in there and boss people around
Uh, cool. We love you guys so much follow tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly and uh, gilbert's love you guys
Oh
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