TigerBelly - Ep 308: Erik Griffin & Khalyla's Lingerie
Episode Date: August 4, 2021Bobby is Iron Hole. Erik is Sniffy. Gilbert is The Plug. Khalyla knows Mojo. We talk Tony Hinchcliffe's Asian jokes, Hallway Bobby, Pirate Accents, and Khalyla's Cat Shelter. Please supp...ort our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Yeah, you must be the only guy in that space. That's also somewhat like comedy Hollywood world, right?
Yeah, you're kind of these motherfuckers can't deal with like they can't deal with like, you know, cuz they used to these like introverted
Hey, what do you what is that all about?
We'll see I'll talk about the podcast
No, I don't
You don't have clothes on that's still that's the only thing that I
That's your butt ass naked
These guys thought it would be funny if I wore lingerie in front of you because of the last member
Oh, I didn't even notice that
Yeah, you shouldn't have
Damn it because by the way, you want more we're lingerie Kalilah scorpion lashes. We're lingerie. No, no that is so taken out of contact
That's what pissed me off
That was taken out of context
We were making we were having a funny conversation about this and then you took it out of context is if I out of the blue
I I went like this, you know what?
No, it is not
No, it was in the context in the conversation
Bring the fucking clip up bring it up bitch. Show me the clip. Well, let's let's test that. Let's see Bobby actually notices
He already did he was like
Hey, maybe I'm right. My drop
You
This tiger belly bad friends fan base is the bane of my existence. Hey, we don't control them
Okay, they're monsters, man. So then it's just like they're coming in my gaming channel. They're just like, oh, hey, should I wear some lingerie?
Unfucking believable man
What are you guys talking about? I want to laugh too. What are you? What are you talking about?
You want more so that that you know that restaurant owner and Tony Roman
So there's a guy named Tony Roman who owns a restaurant in Huntington Beach
He was just on CNN with Chris Como and Fox. Yeah, oh, he's like totally anti box
So but he has a sign outside his restaurant that says you're not allowed to enter
You have to prove that you are unvaccinated. How does one do that? That's funny. I don't know, but he's doubling down
I love when people that double down. That's funny, but I don't even like the other end of that
I was in when I was in New York and Sebastian was there. Yeah, and he we went into this restaurant where it was like
You had to have your mask and then you're still sitting outside
They go when the waiter comes over you need to take you put your mask back on. Oh, wow
It's just like who wants to go there. Yeah, I'm doing that one time and I'm out. You know what I mean? Oh
That's what she does nightmare. Oh, you want to put some clothes on babe, or I don't know
It's this wasn't my idea by the way
This was George and Gilbert's fucking master plan and I feel foolish you should
Maybe go put some clothes on yeah George will you get me some shorts or somebody give me their fucking
Did you do a double-take towards glala at all? Yeah, she's too. I don't want the audience to see her like this
Oh
My this is my I'm keeping this on my treasure
She's mad that I didn't have a reaction cuz I'm like this is in my mind. This is Bobby's girl
I wasn't mad that you didn't have a reaction. I was just surprised and I have no because right now you're like a Charlie Brown teacher
You just
I can't even see nothing. I don't even want I'm trying out to make eye contact with the titties
You know what I mean? I think if I was a king right like a king and I took all my like treasure and just put it outside the castle
Very one to see now. I want that shit in my vault. Yeah. Well, here's a little bit of back story for you. What's a funny?
Yeah, yeah, put it back go back up put some fucking clothes on a little back story before I get dressed
Okay, is that Eric advised me once upon a time about two years ago
That perhaps it we it would you'd feel more I would be more desired overall if I wore lingerie
And then I told him I was like no
But I watch what the kind of shit that Bobby watches and they're like there's zero lingerie
And I don't think he's that type of guy and I'm sort of all this is still out of context
You start at your part because it makes you look good
Before that part though, she's saying, you know, she's being insecure like Bobby doesn't you know
Bobby doesn't look at me that way. He doesn't make me feel sexy. He doesn't make me feel
So I'm just saying as a suggestion. Well, maybe we're sexy shit. So then she goes on her podcast
But I she goes on her podcast and she goes, you know
Sorry
Because because I wanted to bark back but I realized that you didn't stop talking
Yeah, so then my my system shut down. You thought that he was gonna be like threaded
So anyway, please continue how'd you feel about that bark back?
I don't know what I don't know what that was and now I understand why the lingerie doesn't work
This is not a normal
No, I just this has never been normal from the beginning. You know what I mean?
So what am I even thinking my apologies? Okay? I
Want to say this. Uh-huh. The thing is is that
I
Find her incredibly sexy, but she that's a fact you'll that from you. She does feel it
Apparently not. I don't think I don't think it's the lingerie. That's gonna change anything
Clothes in the first part. You see like he wants me in like a full like line backers
No, no outfit to be interested in you know, that's right. You know, you're right
You're right. He likes my broad shoulders. He likes my manly stature. Okay. No, no, you're right. What are we really saying?
What the only thing you're missing is a dick
Baby, I don't want to tell you how to dress
So wear what you want to wear that's comfortable for you and if this is how you want to present yourself today
I'm 100% behind you. No, this is what George said. I should present George. I don't argue with my producer
Please don't do this again. You're taking comedy advice from
You're right. Fuck you George
I have someone bringing stuff for you. Please that just mobile in the edit right now
Can you play some sexy music as she walks out? Oh?
Or Benny Hill
There it is there it is sweat pants what penson upper half is great
Her face or what are you talking about? Let's start. Let's start from the top or no the face
Five four three two
Two welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome, you know, it's so funny because you're not gonna play any of that other stuff
You have to that was great. Yeah, we are all right. Sorry
Well, I know I fucked it up. This is not
I'm barking back
You try your bark again, what would I say again? How about that one? Yeah, you did a bottom like that. It was like a bottom. Yeah, that's why I didn't get it
No, because I
I sometimes I have these spurts of energy and I want to say something oh and usually if it was any other guest
This is how I respect you if it was another guest
I would have said it and and and it wouldn't you wouldn't be able to say what you said got you but as I went up
I like I respect, you know, I mean the comedian this comedian. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're very Morpheus like
Is that racist?
You just made it race it wasn't like when you say it like nobody was thinking about it and then we started to go
Oh, is it racist? Yeah, because it might be
Because we you know when we were we just had lunch together before people want to know the inside scoop of what goes on behind the scenes
Hollywood, yeah, me and Eric we went into the little Mexican restaurant replaced and I have we talked about some things and I have to say that
I love you. Okay, and
Did you feel that?
You know, I yeah, I think he could have done better Bobby's like Bobby's reminds me of like an addict that like has told you so many times
They're not they're gonna be clean and then you have faith and then they get drunk again
So it's like, you know what I mean? It's that kind of like you said this before and then you've done some shit to me
so I'm trying to be like but I thank you but
How about this? I don't I fucking realize you know, I just fucking realized why I
Say this things and I realize why I don't back up these things. What are you because of your reaction afterwards?
Oh, so right, okay, if I would be able to say something comp like, you know
You know get vulnerable in front of you and say something nice, right?
And you didn't say anything afterwards. Maybe that I could continue that but you're fucking no they
Fuck you how they set me up again. You set me up again
He said that and I was taking it in and then she says, oh, did you you know, did you feel that?
What do you think about that? And then I was like, okay now I had to think about it and it's like now
It's a different thing. Let's go back to let's start over Bobby. You know, I love you
Let me finish and I show before that before that okay before that right that's from the top go ahead five four three two
You're gonna show the other part, right?
Yes, we are boom. It was so good. Yeah, I like your upper half. Did I said that before her face?
We did it so um if you want to know behind the scenes stuff right Hollywood so Hollywood you said Hollywood, right?
Eric and I went to a Mexican restaurant great. He said it is really good. So we went to and we talked about life stuff
And I realized then that you know, I don't have a lot of friends
Right, but I would consider you
One of my best friends
So it was that hard to get that sentence out
No, because I don't want to say a lie. You know, I mean I lie a lot
Yes, you do right and I and I
Deceive and I embellish I do all these things and I don't want to do that with this moment
Okay, right. So that's why I was choosing my words, you know me correctly and I want to say this is
full honesty
Right. I I considered you a really good friend and I trust you
Like in let's suppose there's no such thing like one day show business called me and said
Yeah, come everything's over. No, there's no such thing as comedy and everyone has to do something else
right
Then I think that I would probably you're one of those guys like if I was working at Home Depot
that I would still like
Hang out with
Okay, I appreciate that and you know what I'll are you in Home Depot?
What the electrical department and he works at um, here we go. What here it is
But and lumber no, no not lumber, but and don't this restaurant. I'm gonna say
Don't the name of it. Don't it has nothing to do with you. Okay. It's just the restaurant that I think you would work at
Fat sales. Yeah, here we go. Okay. It has nothing to do with your you Bobby between the two of us right now
I know per capita
You're the fat one bit. I will agree with you. I think pound for pound you you you're the fat one
I know I am take another look. I know I am
I
You know what too shame my friend
I am the fat one and I you don't I look in the mirror now and I do glances
I don't do a lock-on
You know, I mean like if I'm like, you know in a war I'm in a jet and you have you lock onto a plane
I don't do that with my body. I do I do a drive by like quick. Look. Oh, wow
And I and then I rationalize a pandemic. It's fine
But it's like it is bad. It's getting bad. It's getting bad
Is it getting bad?
I think your health is getting bad. I don't care about your look, but the health is getting bad
Like it takes three steps. He's always out of breath. Yeah. Well physique and health are two different things. Yeah
I don't I think I disagree with you. You're always out of breath. I've always been out of breath
Oh, well, that's a problem too. Well, that's the smoking and the vaping and no, it's just just you know, I learned so many life lessons
And I'm so I'm so in my mind. I'm so heavy with philosophy
And information it just wears my body down because I'm like kind of a a conduit of information
Is that what makes you tire out? Yeah
Intellectual. I'm like, oh these numbers and graphs and all these things
Numbers and graphs
Right, right and these algorithms like that's why the one guy was in the wheelchair, right because he was so smart
Yeah, but like I saw documentary last night, you know, youtube has these free documentaries and about the um
I think the doctor was the the man with the most the incredible brain. I think that's what it is and he can like
I can't even explain it because it's so um
But basically he can do like any math equation that you give him
Right, he can tell you like, you know how it's like you say 12 divided by a certain number and it's like this long
You know 10,000 number. He's like, he knows every number in the fucking thing
What's the practical use of that? Like is he in vegas counting cards? What's he probably works for like nasa?
No, he doesn't
He just roams around. That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, he's a romer. It's one of those skills that it's like
But he you know what else he did he he he claimed that he can learn any language
Fluently in a week. I believe that so he he's a savant
So he went to iceland icelandic. I heard is very really hard and he learned it in a week
Wow, he didn't know the language when he got there. What's he doing with himself?
He's just roaming around town man. I imagine he probably has some other like social like disability, right?
Like he's probably on the he's probably autistic
Right, he probably has difficulty with civil interaction. No, he's no he is autistic, but he um
The doctors were fascinated by him because he trained to
himself as a young at a young age
To act um as normal. He forced himself even though he had these ticks and this and that
To socialize. Yeah, he can he can socialize in any environment and he um what he does now
I think this this documentary was 20 years ago, but I assume that he goes to
Colleges and and and and places and they put you know mit and they put things in his brain
He probably works there or you know man, but you know what happened maybe 10 more. He had epilepsy
You know and he had a seizure or whatever and he hit his head
Then they gave him another example of this black dude, right?
And he was in
Detroit or something and he was playing baseball
Right with his friends and a baseball hit his head. He get not he gets knocked out unconscious
now he remembers
Every single day
You if you tell him what happened
It what was the weather
1984 right this this specific day june 14th, right?
You can go it was cloudy, you know, he can tell you the fucking
What the weather was and that's in any day that would cause me so much anxiety to have to carry that much information in my brain
Like I want to I wouldn't be able to sleep
Well, why aren't they studying stuff like that?
What it seems like they would like take him
And like be like let's see if we can like duplicate this without hitting somebody in the head
I mean, isn't that the the goal is to try to be like our most optimal selves and like
But what's optimal because I feel as though your brain does a good job of disposing of information that no longer serves you
So it's like
Knowing what happened in 1941 on a Tuesday at 10 a.m. Is not gonna help me today when I've got a fucked up power
Well, what I'm saying you know, there'll be some mutants, right?
Some mutants have a cool power like Colossus is a cool one, but there's probably ones like yeah, there's one called dead girl
Oh, there's dead girl. There's I think there's one called dead girl, but she's like from like
X-men Z like some younger generation. What did Mojo do? She can't die. Remember Mojo?
He was just like a big fat blob. What did he do? That's not Mojo. Mojo was a big fat blob with the blob
No, go to go to Mojo or X-men
You remember the blob though. I know blob. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah movie. No Mojo. I had an X-men card
I have a whole collection. How do you use Mojo?
A nerdy side of Kalala that we never knew about. Oh, is there a Mojo?
Oh, wow, okay
Mojo
Oh, yeah, he is
Yeah, what did Mojo do?
Mojo, let's see. He is...
Oh my god, Gilb. Do you want to go through all of that? No, that's all right. Sorry. I mean just one thing. This is riveting
Yeah, there are powers powers and abilities go down
Mojo is a powerful sorcerer the full limits of his magical knowledge is unknown
He is also a master manipulator and schemer like a base like a new yorker basically
Yeah, he's a new yorker. Why does he have to be a blob with that power? I know, but you know his card was very strong
That's how you remember it as a kid. Oh, all right. Yeah
If I was an X-men I'd get fucked like I would get like
Like my anus would turn into steel and that's it. Yeah
I've said this before yeah, but it's like the fact that it's like you want that to be your power a steel anus
So he cut off this so what what is the yeah, what is the point of that? That's why there's no point
So everyone has these powers. All right, and I'm going like I'm angry and I got it, but it's like
I'm angry. I got it, but there's nothing I can do. No, they would have to hold you up, you know
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a shield and then your anus would like block things
Or maybe they have a like a stick of plutonium
We don't know what to do with it. And they just know I have a use for it. No cigar night, you know
We're guys are hanging out having cigar. You would bend over and we would just go click you would get it
Then we'd be like, oh, thanks mommy
Or if you got if you get shot just turn your anus to the incoming bullet
Right, but what if it hits my cheek? I'm down. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the one. Well, there's a lot of cheeks
So I guess
It is like spread wide babe. Yeah. Yeah
I also had this uh, joga can never get work, but this was a bit I did
Oh, so the other joke was the other power I would have is um
I would control ants
Would that be a great power? That's a great power. No, but watch so like like, you know, like saber to the tax me, okay, right?
And I go stop
He goes, what are you gonna do and me going they're coming
And we just stand there for like three hours and all of a sudden you can see these ants slowly getting to him
Well, you're not utilizing ants in the way that they're meant to be utilized. What do you mean?
Because ants are master builders, right? Yeah, so I would have them like, yeah, you can't have them on like a last minute basis
They're not there to help you in that way
They're here to there to help you set up traps set up other stuff build things
Kalayla
Oh, there is an ant man. I know there's an but that's not what I'm talking about babe. Kalayla, right?
The exasperation about this nerdy topic is so hilarious to me. I use they tell this one
Oh, you don't get it
Have you not seen an ex movie? It's like I've seen all of them. I know but you know when action starts
It's happening. There's what so the guy that control ants. What oh the egg guy would have ants in his belt
That is what you'd have ants in a backpack and he would just like open them up
They would go get them. That is true. You just have them attached to you already. Why why are you still calling onto them?
Yeah, where are they that you're like? All right, so magnetos up, right? He's
He's the bending steel. Yeah, right? He's 300 feet away from bending steel, right?
And I have a backpack for the ants
Giant red ants
It's itchy as fuck. No, we you
You're immune to it. You're like an immune effect. You might kick the back of but we all cyclops is looking at me like
He does one of these. Oh this guy
We brought that wait wait wait wait wait wait wait over and you brought that guy. No. No. No. Listen. Yeah
Yeah, you're not on the field with cyclops like no, you're who am I?
You're at the mansion. You know what I mean? Like you're the gardener. You're making sure all the ants are
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not
You really think that like they're gonna be like who we bring it with us. All right, you'll storm
Cyclops
Professor Xavier and then ant boy
You're not on that list. I'm not on the list. You're not you're not you're not
Rogue wouldn't even touch you to take your power. That's true. That's true. That's super annoying. That would be true
Yeah, what power would you have anything? I don't know
Probably some nose power something like power smell. Oh, that's good. That is a real super power
I know, but it would be like it would be terrible. You've never seen that before in the
Have you seen that? No, that's interesting. No, but those are real things like super smellers are a real thing that
Medical researchers use like if you are somebody that has a very keen sense of smell
You are likely able to predict early onset Parkinson's and other major diseases, right?
So you're basically what you are, right? You remember on the mansion
Right and you smell like Wolverine. I find and then you have you go
Yeah, you have a tumor
And wolverine's like really? She's a good doctor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah doctor
You're basically just a bloodhound. Yeah, you're a bloodhound and I always know when somebody farts and it's the worst
Like people come with you with like I can't find my ham sandwich
Right, and then you were like walking around the mansion. You left it on the you know, I mean, it's right there
Yeah, right there like we would be a that that would be the terrible duo
Sniffy and
No, and no an iron hole iron hole. Oh, that's the anus thing. That'd be sniffy and iron hole iron
It's funny how the culture's changed that much where
You know before even I remember a time when I was doing stand-up
And in on mad tv where
It was just completely. Okay. There was no question in my mind that doing an accent would be you know
Backwards or wrong and this and that you know now before they play mad tv. They got to have like a disclaimer. Yeah, right? Yeah
Yeah, I mean like it's the views expressed back then. This was okay to be
Stereotypically, whatever. Yeah, I mean to see these kids come up to me and go
Man, I can't believe you had to do accents back then and it's like
Like what it's like what right, right? How's that bad?
Back then
Now what do you think is and then if they're doing an accent
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's like who you who are you sounding like right now?
Like what is what is this you're doing?
Is there something that you wouldn't do as a black guy like
I remember I remember a buddy of mine. We would do we had to sketch group and
And you know, we were doing this thing where we were like power rangers
Okay, and it was like
But the and then we were stopping a thief and my buddy of mine who's my buddy Jeff
He's black. They asked we asked him to be the thief and he said no
Back then this was like too early night late late 90s. Wow. He was like no, I'm not gonna be
Why do I have to be the thief right? They were like, well, we also need a yellow ranger
He was like, I'll be yellow ranger and he grabbed the outfit and put it on. You know what I mean?
Yeah, so it's just that it's that kind of stuff. So I mean, I don't I don't know
I don't think about it like that. My first thought is like, what's the artistic integrity in this?
Yeah, and if there is some then I'll do it
But like if it just feels like why are we doing this?
You know if it's because you you know when you you know when something's like, uh, this don't make me feel right
I don't want to do it. Yeah
Yeah, it's it's weird
Yeah, because I it's like especially a lot of like the rules that you get does he need an accent?
Probably not nothing would change in the storyline. Well, I got offered
a pretty big movie
I'm gonna see what it was
Have I talked about it a little bit sort of? Yeah. Yeah, I'll take that again. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah
And um, it was an accent
and I couldn't believe I turned it down
Because there was a part of me that's still like
You know, I mean 1990s Bobby
I mean who would have sucked their dick for that part. Yeah, you know, I mean, so it's like a real struggle
because I just know
for
The people and our image and who we are as a people now
It's not right to do it, but they're still like well, here's what I find the funniest you do a terrible asian accent
Like in the dictator you were so funny, but you were in and out of the accent. You went back to being
You know an American from Poway, California
So it's like I like how she had to say that funny part first just to soften all this part
No, because I on a genuine they think that's one of the funniest that you have ever done
Yeah, but it's it's like they're forcing you into this thing that you can't even do because you're american
Yeah, so it's weird. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like I don't even get
Like I don't even get why that's a thing now like
Asian-Americans have been here so long. I don't know anyone that talks like that
Like whoever talks like that is they're in korea. They're in china. Yeah, they're not here
Yeah, no one here knows anyone like that. So I still don't get why hollywood is like, yeah, put on this accent
For who? Yeah for and even like the japanese dude that are from jib japan that I see here
They kind of have their own thing. Yeah. Yo, what's going on dude? What's going? What's up, brah?
You know me and you're like, oh shit. That's like a combination thing. Yeah. Yeah, you're like you listen to a lot of rap music
Yeah, yeah, there's like something Jamaican thing going on there. Like I love it. I love it. Yeah, but they even like kind of probably look in the mirror and go
I know I don't want to sound like that like old school
Whatever that even is, you know, yeah, bro. What's going down, bro? I mean, it's like hollywood was so laced
I mean, hollywood was so laced with like race stuff for so long. What's so funny, you know, yeah
That's actually pretty good. That was a good one. What that whatever combo you did. I like the combo
No, I would but I would probably do that in a movie like if they if that would be the compromise I go
I can I just do my own weird version that no one
And if they go, yeah, but that's why I saw but check it out. That's when you would
Audition what that's when you would audition that'd be the only reason to audition. Yeah, they go to you what we want you to be
This and here's the kind of accent we want you to do
Can we see you do this and be serious at the same time? Yeah, then you go, okay, let me work on this
You know like Tarantino is going to ask you to do some shit like that. Yeah, you gotta go to his house and sit on this couch
And he's like, okay do it, you know, yeah, the only time I've ever heard you nail
Um a hybrid asian accent is when you were not meant to do an accent of an asian man
But you auditioned to for a pirate role and they were like play a pirate and then all of a sudden you were
Like you had full asian accent
I was so confused. I know because I put I think the pirate element
Or
You had to watch him do that
I mean so it's like I think next time I do an asian accent
Yeah, I'm gonna do it as a pirate full pirate full pirate and I think I'll be able to sell it
That's very interesting
Like were there asian pirates? Oh sure. Yeah. Oh my dad's ship got pirated
What I'm saying is like what was that like because we always think pirates are like the stupid hat with the fucking thing
And then they're like, you know, I I made it like what were the asian pirates like, you know, what was that?
That's the movie you need to make like
Are
Yeah, what would you what who you talk to me? I'm what were they what were their thing? I don't even know. Yeah. Yeah
captain
Look up asian pirates killed back in the day and you know, if I had but make sure back in the day is not 1980
Yeah variations. We have we have. Oh, oh this style
Oh, okay. Let's look at the history. They were not that hot. Okay. I'm sorry. There's a modern day asian pirates. Yeah
Yeah, those are the ones that did my those are cool. This is probably more
Johnny Depp. Yeah, this is like, uh, yeah, I like Genghis Khan. Yes, right? Yeah
That's cool, man. I think that I think the asian culture comes across as more honorable
That maybe there wasn't the pirate pirate life or pelagra or what is that disease that they get?
Oh, I don't know. That's kb's
scurvy scurvy
Yeah, because maybe that was going on and all that like to summarize and all that kind of stuff was going on like, you know
Yeah, I just I don't know. I mean, you know, you think you know stuff about certain culture and you realize
There's so much of it. It's just never exposed because we only have this narrow view of things
And it's like the asian culture for americans. It's always the same shit. It's like I said ninjas
Samurai's kung fu masters. Yeah, you know, that's like when I like when I was a kid
My only exposure to anything asian was black belt theater on saturday mornings with uh,
You know after the cartoons. Yeah, and I would love that shit the five deadly venoms
Oh five deadly venoms was the shit the toad and the fucking scorpion and yeah, I loved all that shit, dude
But it's that was it. Yeah, because it's like and also imagine growing up in like suburbs. I'm asian
Yeah, and all the kids are watching that kind of stuff, right?
And it's like and that has and I'm like, you know, listening to like punk rock. Yeah, right? Yeah
And doing my thing, right? It has nothing to do with who I am
And so but then when you go out in the world, you know, you're you're your white friend will come up to you and go
Hey, hi, buddy. Gotcha. I was watching you. That's shit sunday, man. You know buddy
You know what I mean? And they'll come up to you and do that stuff and you're like, whoa, dude that fucking hurt
Don't do that again. You know what I mean? Yeah, what are you doing? Right? Or it's like, you know, um
You walk into a classroom and your other friend will go
Everybody will watch bobby's come here, right? You walk and they go
gong
Right and they'll all go they'll all go
Right and they laugh and you I have a mohawk. You know what I mean? American listening to the class
Yeah, I'm glad you have a susie and the bashee shirt. I know you got a hockey full of math
I'm going what the fuck is this? Yeah, and like you live in these this world. Here's my question for you, bobby
so up until recently
Like making fun of asian people was kind of like like it wasn't looked at the same as how you would make fun of
Anyone else like it was kind of like the the the easy one and it because it was like non-threatening in a way
It was like, you know, and then you kind of think the idea is like Asians are doing okay
They got their own towns and shit right here in the you know
So it's okay to be like, you know, Asia's got a little dick or Asian this and Asian that but I feel like the coat
There's been a real big culture shift now that it's like
It's on the same level now as making a black joke making a you know, I mean
I'm making a Jewish joke. I think a lot of the younger generation just isn't putting up with it anymore
Like isn't that what it is? Like, you know, and I'm about to bring up a topic that's a little uncomfortable
But I have to bring it up is you know, I've been struggling with what happened to Tony
uh-huh
Hinchcliff. Have we talked about I don't think we've ever addressed it yet
And um, I've been literally struggling with it because on one hand, I understand what he was doing
Did you see the video? Yes. And did you see the whole video? Did you get the full context of the whole?
Okay, because I have a my opinion on it myself too. Yeah, my opinion is
you know, I've like I saw um
A comic a friend of mine a male comic who's straight bring up a gay guy on stage the other night
And go one more time for the
F word the F word, right?
And they both laughed right and then the gay comic will say something about the straight comic, you know, I mean
Yeah, that guy sucks dick or whatever it might be, right? Yeah
There's a had a rapport. They have a rapport, right? And there's a culture there. It's like, you know, I've done it
But like I used to have doc will you will us open for me sometimes and I don't see something like Gary Coleman
He thought he was dead, but he's not you know, whatever the and then you he says something back
And it's just a part of like that thing and I think that with what Tony went through, right?
There's a lot of that in there, right?
Because they because they know each other they know each other
But it was presented as if he was some random Asian comic
That he didn't even know
Did that no no that and that's what my that's what I took offense to that. Yeah
Well, you took offense to what I took offense to how that was blown out of proportion against Tony. Yeah now
You know in this culture
It's like, all right
Do you really think that that that was the way to do that but even still
That's his style the roast battle the kill Tony the stuff that happens during that thing that guy is a part of that
And the guy was doing hacky ass jokes about white people before that
That was the context of why he was
What yeah, and that's why he got the laugh that it did. That's why that's why people laughed, right?
I struggle with it. I get it though
I struggle with it because I also am like, you know, I want to be I'm very pro Asian
And I also grew up in comedy where I was bullied a lot in terms of in the 90s
I was the only one at the clubs, right? So I would get a lot of like white. Is this not interesting to you?
No, it's super interesting. Oh, yeah
You were drifting apart
Thank you. Can I get a Kleenex while we're in this little booger
So I was like in in in the 90s. I was you know, you would have no, bitch. I got
Allegies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a Benadryl if you want you would have comics say, um
To your face. Yo, man, Asians aren't funny. Get out of here or whatever
Right, you you had that kind of sentiment, right? And it's like
So I you know, I'm the type of guy that like when that happens. I don't give up. I go
I'll show you
You'll get it. You'll see, you know
So, you know, I I I get both sides, but in I think in Tony's case it was more of a comedy thing
you know, I mean in a in a culture and a
And I can I get when people that aren't in comedy see just certain clips of that
Where it could look like real and at first I didn't see the full thing
I just saw one little I didn't know they're looked at so I was mad. Yeah
I was livid
But now that I've like kind of explored it and understood it
Right. I go, you know what I'm giving Tony
Well, it's layered man. It's layered. It's layered because there's just many different points in here one
That shouldn't have been recorded and released. Okay. So that was some clout chasing bullshit right there. Yeah
Yeah, did he have someone in the crowd? Do you get his friend? Okay. So that's the that's the number one
The fact that it was released but when something if we're having a conversation
Like even some of the stuff we were talking about before we were on air for this
If that somehow got released
We know we don't mean bad, but we would have to apologize for
When things get out it gets out. So you have to apologize for that because of how it makes people feel
Okay, so that's that part of it the other part of it is like that kid
put that out
In a way that
Made Tony look like he he didn't even know him. Yeah, and he just did this out of the blue
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know and so and that's why it all went away because when their full context came out all of a sudden
All that talk about we got to cancel him and this is terrible. Oh, so but I just want to say this is
All of it, right
The performance that when we podcast and we do live shows and stuff, right? It's it's a show
Word
It's just a show people take it literally they pick it apart. Doesn't that we're just trying to entertain people
And by the way and even on that lot on that in that vein
I think
The problem with podcast is you know
People think they know you because of this and you especially bobby
You're so vulnerable and open on these things
And then there's so much of it that is like your performance and so much of it is like it blends together
So these fans think they know what's going on. You know, they think they know so then like anything
We've had like when we have like where people think it's a beef. Yeah, you know, there's no beef
There's no beef. So all day on my damn twitch. Yeah, I gotta get people every day
Oh, this is why bobby doesn't play with you. This is why bobby bob. Yeah, it's so bad
I have to have a command it's a command bobby
So my mods know so when somebody asks about bobby command bobby comes up and it goes
It goes, here's where you can DM him
Yeah, your moderator said I had my moderator set it up because because what I'm just trying to I'm just trying to put out there
To people it's like they don't know and I tell people
You're not privy to our relationship all the time
Like they weren't at with us for an hour sitting at the taco place having a good talk
They don't need to know everything but the thing is they think they know everything
Oh, so that's because of this tiny bits and pieces not the whole picture
Not the whole picture but also that version of us at because we talked about it even yeah at the taco place
It's like if they recorded that conversation and put up people would just rip it apart and go fuck. This is so boring
Right, I know
It's the most boring thing. It's innocuous. It's like fill us sleep at lunch. It was just falling asleep because listen to each other
Because we're talking about like real things about life and feeling and this and that right and then we come up here
And everything's like a show. Oh, we gotta like I gotta I gotta it's a show
It's not
Shit ain't real bitches. It's not real. Oh, it doesn't wear lingerie. This is a fucking show
It's a show baby. Please. Please. It's a show. Wait. Wait. I'm sorry. It's a what?
It's a show
There's the type new tiger belly meme right there. Yeah, this is honestly put it on hip hop though
It's a shot shot shot shot, but this this whole thing that I'm doing now is a good
comparison to
What you just said which is like this shit is not real like
Crusty kalayla is real that's real for like that's real
But we're gonna put on a different version of ourselves and exaggerate and embellish and honestly
It does get us in trouble once in a while
But I hope to god people have common sense to know that it's like it's just not you know what you know what though
They I I agree with you
We want people to have common sense
But what I enjoy about this platform is it don't I don't give a fuck because you know why we get to come back
the next episode and
Say some more stuff about it and if we need to talk about it again
We can keep doing it so the people that are like oh, I can't believe they said this we can come back and go
Uh-uh don't take me out of context. Yeah, don't you know we get a chance and opportunity to like continue the conversation
And I think that's why podcasting is the best and that's why it can't be stopped
Because all those like cancel culture trolls and all that stuff they're gonna keep trying to come and we're just gonna be like
Yeah, but it's funny because I have a lot of comics though who didn't do the podcast thing
That's say to me. You know that thing's gonna die eventually
Oh, yeah, they get like they kind of think it's beta max
Yeah, I mean you got it in right around the right time if I got into it right now because it's gonna die in a couple years
Anyway, you know me and you're like and they try to like
Kind of dig at you like you know and it's like I don't think so
But also it's like and if it does it does but who's to say we're not gonna jump on the next form of media in our own way
Yeah, you know like George get on it. Whatever the next one is. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, but you know exactly man, but I said, you know what the thing you we have to get to a point as we've gotten older
Bobby is like
We don't need
Like when we're right
We don't need these people to say we're right. We just need to be okay with being right
And that's the hardest thing to do. You're gonna make me cry right now
I'm just saying you've been saying some more of your shit today man. That's a good point. That was very morpheus
For me like, you know, I like morpheus shit, you know, and it's like
You've been very clear today even at the little lunch that we had
But you're right. You're absolutely right
um
and just for the record, I will say that
I can guarantee you
He was the nicest guy to you at lunch there was no roasting. There were no fat comments
None of that because that's who he is
But he cannot it's hard. But you know what it's hard
I would I you know what I realized today at lunch
Is we don't do that enough
All right, because when I do see you you have to be on it's like it's a comedy. I have okay. He's in the hallway
And it's like Bobby. That's what that's what we hallway. Bobby. That's what we fucking you guys know about hallway. Bobby
Oh, I know
Motherfucker. I'm fucking me
Hey, hey fatty, you know, I know I'm so mean but
But it's all a defensive mechanism, right? It's like don't get to know me. Don't get too much. I'm scared. I'm vulnerable
You're just a bunch of shit. I'm gonna say that I'm still here. You're still here
But what I was saying some credit but at lunch we were talking about that we need to do more of this because it's like
You know
I'm not this. I mean, I'm an exaggerated version of who I am
There are obviously elements of me. You know, I mean that people see right and that's why when I go on the road and I
meet fans and a lot of fans
They they do I I know them
Podcast fans deeper than any other medium that I've ever done. I know your podcast fans deeper than
I've been in Canada and people come up to me after the show and I got tiger belly shirts on and they're just like
Oh, what's up griff? You know, they take pictures like we'll do a podcast with you
We should get a percentage of money
What I'm saying is like there is something special about it. Yeah, but it is also there's an element of toxicity to it
But you know, you get to good with the bad. It's a double-edged sword and we'll take all that because it's been very, you know, they're very
It's amazing the fan base. Yeah, I was I was in Brooklyn last week and I was just walking at a piece of pizza on my hand
And this bunch of kids just drove by me
And they were like young kids
And they all rolled down their window and they go
They didn't get out. They go
You're so just papaya
Like that, right and they
And they start laughing and they just drove away
Yeah, and I and I had a tough week last week man
And I I walked down the street with the pizza and I was just like I needed that
Because it wasn't just fans. It was like kids that got it. They know the lingo
Yeah, they kind of know me right and it's just it's a different connection, you know
But that's the thing too though that it's like good and bad about it
Because that's what I'm saying is like because I'll have people live
I'm telling you people walk up to me all the time and they'll just be like, man. Why is bobby so mean to you?
Like I I get that all the time, dude. Yeah. Yeah, although they'll say some shit like
Bobby's not really your friend, man. Why are you? Why are you? Why do you and I just go right and I got to say
I say it on my stream all the time. I go you don't know him
You don't know us. Okay, you know what I mean? Stop. I got it right here
I'm just gonna add one thing exhausting if there's one adjective it is exhausting if there's one adjective that really
Encompasses who he is outside of performance
Is the word harmless he is the most harmless
Simpious sweetest dude ever
Outside when the cameras are off when it's not hallway Bobby. He is just a sweet harmless
Yes, quiet little bitch
At home. I know what you the only way to see that is you have to look on callilas feed
You know, then you catch Bobby crying at a documentary
Yeah, yeah, I just and then you're just like who the fuck is that?
You're holy sensitive and soft but like ugly crying, you know, yeah, you know what I mean? I'm like, oh my god
Oh, did you see that?
Have you seen that? I
You just give me a list of things. You know, I want you will cry. I'm all about on youtube. It's have you seen it?
Oh my god
In fact, I want to I want to play it. I cried at the end after this. I cried at the end of black widow
What are you talking about? Hey, why I liked it. I like it. I love love that movie
No, I I thought that that moment that they shared the sisters that made me cry
I was like, oh that they've been through they have no uterus, you know, I mean like all this shit
And I was like if she like admitted that this was my real family. I thought that was touching
I love that. You know, it's weird. I want to feel but you know that she's dead in in the universe
I know but this movie came after
After civil war that's what made me feel sad about the whole movie too
It's knowing that she's already she's dead in the you know, she's suing disney. Yes big time suing disney big time
suing they're going after they're trying to they're trying to trash her in the media and they need to stop that because um
They released it on the same day, right?
And her her money is tied to back end on on the thing and so they they already put it out
You know on on the thing and then she's like, yo, yeah, we got yeah, I got 20 million, but I'm trying to make that dude money
I want that I want a totally stark money. I want that 68 million money
Yeah, I want that robber downy money because that movie let me tell you something. Yeah, just real quick. Yeah
What is missing from?
a lot of movies that
This wasn't a movie that just happened to have women in it interacting with men
This was an action movie
starring women
And it's what a lot of action movies. I realize now are missing because there was an there was something about that the interactions and
And and and in the heart and with all that action shit that I was like, this is fantastic
Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? They nailed it. They nailed it. But you know what was the nail that quiet place too
I killed it brawl. So good
at the end at the end of quiet place too when the kids
Are fucking like having their moment and and you can see that this is the father in them
I was like, this is just fucking awesome. I loved that part in the movie
But it's not just the that part though. I was amazing part the pacing of it
Bro, it's when to choose to do certain things. Oh, like, oh, how about you know, I know what you mean
Let's not give away anything. All right. When I when I'm saying when it goes silent or the death. Oh
What a great device. Oh, what a great device. I can't watch that kind of movie
So Rachel around, you know, when I was in Hungary
When I was in Hungary because I'm like, bitch be quiet. It's the quiet part when I was when I was in Hungary
And I ran into him at the Nobu John Krinsiski. Oh, shit, right and I made a fool out of myself
Because I tried to act too cool. I wish I had seen the movie
Right because I want this is what I would say to him now if I saw him
Hey, dude, it's such a big pleasure to meet you man. And I just I honestly, dude
I'm a huge film buff. I'm very picky, too
Very your movies the quiet plays one and two dude are just flawless
And you're a legitimate director. I would put you up there with story teller story teller
I would put you up there with J. G. Abrams. I would put you up there with Jordan
I mean these guys these performer actors now directing shit
My god, what?
You got to be next. Do you know what can't taste on me different time of different time frame?
I think he wins an Oscar for the first Kupaya place. Yeah, but the world was different at the time
Yeah, you know, you can't have that you have the black guy wins for the horror movie. Yeah on the heels of you know
Oscars too white and all this stuff going on. So that's kind of like they go
This was great, but we can't give another white guy. I think he is a victim of that
You know what I mean? Not to say that the what didn't deserve it. John Krasinski is a young man still, right?
He's got time. He's got a lot of time. What are you going to continue that series?
Oh, they have to love how they started and I love how he brought himself still back into it
That's a genius. Yeah, I was like good for you like going to the beginning. Yeah genius and it's like the monsters are scary and
And it's just like monsters are very very detailed. Yeah, and uh
But and Emily Blunt is just
Dude when she's looking at her son
For the first time that when she's looking at her son went at the end
I saw her thinking
Oh my god, my little pussy ass boy is becoming a man
No, that's the moment. You know what I mean? Like she had that moment of like he's gonna do it, you know
You know that girl
Is fucking talented
She has all of it. I love her. Jessica Chastain is my other favorite. I love her. Yeah
Like she they'll she's great. Those are the ones man. You know zero dark 30
Or the or the chick from uh the chick from uh, be uh, I am good or be good or it was that netflix movie
Um, uh, the one where she was like a taking advantage of old people
Oh, um
Rogan even talked about it. I am good or I like to be good
She's from the other one. Uh ratchet to
Sarah polly
Boom. I love Sarah Paul those three like I just
I don't care what the material is
If you're a great actor that can really
Delvin to like whatever it is. That's why Robert Downey jr
That's what makes the Avengers
So great like an end game when he's all
Skinny and he's mad at captain america that scene right there
I was like that motherfucker is an actor man, dude. He's always been an actor
But don't even fucking I know but what I'm saying is like they've changed the the the landscape of like
Your thanks to batman begins by the way
Uh, Christopher Nolan changed superhero movies forever with batman begins
Yeah, because he made it a real movie at that point. All right. Yeah, and ever since then you get these like really fantastic actors and performances
So no matter what it is
So now you got like Krasinski with this like horror movie genre and they're given like they're all man that
Those performances and those two movies one and two him her the kids killian murphy. Yeah
He was great in it. Oh my god. I know you want a second stick. Oh more than that
Penetration his his steel anus
Yeah, but I'm curious though
I'm curious though. Just just to throw it out like
Kyle's at starbucks and this guy he just comes through and he's like, hey, you know kind of a tiger belly fan
Uh, no, that seems weird. I heard irish accent. I heard what you I heard what you said about
Would you like to suck my dick, you know, whatever he would say, I mean this is there a moment
They'd be like would you call him? No, he would let me let me and this is and let's let's talk about reality
Okay, let's go. All right. This is not show business because this is a reality. This could happen
This guy can be sitting right now listening. They're like, damn. There's only one way
She's got that lingerie on cillian murphy. Killian. Killian. That's what I said. Killian murphy
From the bottom of my heart
you can
Get your juices sucked out by my girlfriend
And via your penis
Right. I don't know why I just said that. Yeah, like
Where else I got nervous because I think I think there's eyeball
I'll suck his ass juice. Oh, baby
I would
Babe
Take a look at this. You feel you don't think I kill it. Killian murphy. All right. Just look at him. Yeah, killian
Oh, I didn't know it was like that
Yeah, yeah, I got a little
I honestly killing you can have sex with my girlfriend. You can have um
Do whatever you want with her and I there's not going to be an ounce of jealousy
Or anger or anything, but because that gives me we get it
But that gives me a free pass. Yeah, but your free pass is going to be like julie at cvs down the street. You know what I mean?
You know what I mean
No, I'm gonna highbrow it. No, it's you know, he has a woman at wall greens and the old wall greens on western
I knew it. I knew it was something like that who is in love with you. She's 90, babe
I know but you know, oh, yeah, come on. That's that's actually very
That's messed up of you. Um, if I were to talk about hall passes
Um, it would never be with someone
Like because it burst the fantasy like one of my he met one of my hall passes and after they became friends
I was like, uh, the fantasy is gone. Like I don't I don't want there to be good move. Yes
People people going well, Bobby Lee will never meet killing murphy. I think I could
Number one, I think I could and I think I could work with him and I think I can have developer friendship
Yeah, and you said I will fuck it up. You know, my number two is just throwing it out there. It's maher shalali
Write that down maher shalala maher shala maher shalala. Who's that? Uh, he's gonna be the new blade
Oh, wow, you want to go that with it? You want to go dark dark? I love maher shalala. So
He's old too, but again
But again, if
If you befriend him, it's over. I don't want Bobby Bobby has a problem with this
He would no, I have no what when you're talking about
I won't look at the picture, but I don't have a problem
I think his dick has a wikipedia
Have you been watching the olympics at all? No, I can't get into it. Why I just I don't know
I think it's because of uh, coven and everything and just feels different right it just feels different
It don't feel I don't feel this like a need to be like, you know, just america and all that and I don't know
I feel the same way and I'm super like I am an olympic freak. Yeah, I used to I especially the summer games
I love it as you get to gymnastics and then whatever my thing is like swimming and I feel as though a lot of this
like so many weird outcomes in this olympics because
A lot of these athletes don't have their family and support system there
So I feel like so much of it is like a mental
It's overcoming a whole lot of mental stuff rather than just like going off physical prowess
And I don't I feel bad for these and it got too much shit going on
It got all this woke culture stuff going on. Yeah, and then you got the transgender athletes
So people are dealing with that and how that makes people feel and it's also nuance and layered that it's just like
Ugh, you know who wants to deal with all that but I am waiting staying up at 2 a.m
To watch Simone Biles on beam today. Oh, wow. I thought that she's back in she only for the final one
She had the twisties all. Um, yeah, the twisties. Yeah
No, that's actually a real thing. I love when people like you
Yeah, she doesn't mean twizzlers
You know, so it's like yeah, I didn't know about that
So I was actually on another podcast and we were kind of like not belittling her
But it's kind of the thing of like why are you quitting? You're like that's a pressure
But you know, you know, you don't know that it's some little fact like that is like this happens to gymnast who worked themselves to the bone
Like that and also like just the gymnast culture has been toxic for so long
You had Carolee those coaches back in the day Larry Nasser forcing these kids basically working them to the bone like
I don't know if you guys remember Carrie Strug. I think it was like the 1996
Yeah, I remember Carrie Strug that girl the fear in her eyes because he told her he had she had to do
A final one even though she had already hurt herself and everyone on the one on the one that she did the fact
She hurt her foot and they had to carry her carry out. Yeah, she landed it. She was already hurt. That was insane. Yeah
She landed on one foot, right? Yeah, but okay. There's but okay, but there are still
so
That's all perspective because like if it's a coach that like knows
What this person ultimately wants is to have that moment of having that gold medal
Versus you didn't do it and maybe you didn't get hurt in your find
I mean, there is something about pushing someone to their to their limit. Yes, but if it wasn't the carolees
I would believe that but they had a long history
Yeah, I know being very abusive and pushy with these young young kids like 15 16 year olds
A lot of these kids didn't feel like they had the choice
And so like when it comes to that it's like the world
The the gold medal isn't worth my long-term well-being ever or they changed their mind which kids do like maybe at 14
They were like, yeah, I want to be a gymnast and then it was like at 15 and a half
They were like this is bullshit. I want to go to something else
But at that point, you know money has been spent and things have been invested
Well, that's what Simone Biles said. She was like, this isn't fun for me at all
Like there isn't a Usain Bolt. There isn't a Michael Phelps. All eyes are on her. It's been a fucking weird year
My family is not here. I have vertigo
Like imagine that
Like she does it she should just be allowed to not do it and still be celebrated because honestly
Who is better than Simone Biles? Nobody are you guys? Let me ask us in the room. Would you rather have a coach like this?
Focus you have to fucking do it. All right. We've we've practiced way too long for this right get your head in the game
Or would you want this? I just want you to have fun
Right do the best you can listen. We're just having fun here. What would you what do you want? Let me answer this question this way
I've coached before
It is coach what bowling team I've coached basketball. Oh girls volleyball. I've coached a lot of things
Do you see how he has to he's back everybody hallway Bob?
Tell me the sports that that you coached basketball
volleyball
Can you go to my instagram? I don't even go don't do not go to the instagram
I have a picture of myself in high school, man.
We have to end this fucking podcast.
Barry Athletic.
Do not go there, Gilbert.
Do not.
But that's just, how do you feel when people say
they don't believe you're a wrestler or played tennis?
Well, I can believe he was a wrestler.
Listen, I am sorry.
That sumo wrestler.
You're right.
You know what?
You're right.
Let's go back to the Terry's Bobby, the real Bobby.
This person can handle it.
They can handle the pressure.
Some people shine under pressure.
Some people crack.
As a coach, you got to know the difference.
You don't treat everybody the same
because they're not the same.
Your star athlete is somebody you
could be like your mama should have never had you
with that defense you're playing.
And they'd be like, I get you coach.
Another one, you got to be like, hey, don't worry about it.
Wipe that one off.
Now, I say this too.
I've coached boys and I've coached girls.
Girls, they are different, man.
Like with girls, you can't yell at girls in a way
that you can yell at guys.
In my experience.
But maybe you can.
And just, again, it's case by case.
But I always knew this with girls.
You didn't have to yell at them.
You just had to look at them and go,
I'm really disappointed in what you just did.
Super disappointed.
I said that to her.
I'll never forget this, girl.
She was volleyball.
And she was trying to do this bump on the wall.
You know what I mean?
That's what you had to do as many times as you can.
You got to get to 100 was the thing.
And she couldn't do it.
And I just said to her, I was disappointing.
I'm telling you, she was at that fucking wall.
And she tried to do it till she can get it.
And I was like, all right, that's how you get her.
That's how you get the best out of her.
So I'm just saying, it just depends.
Even you, Bobby, and we're the same this way.
Like, if somebody tells us you're not funny,
or somebody tells us, oh, yeah, well, you're
not going to make it in this thing,
that is the thing that gets me going.
Like, I got in at the comedy store
because Tommy was trying to tell me that I wasn't funny.
And I was like, no, bitch, there ain't anybody
in this building that I think is funnier than me.
I had to go in there and make everybody say it.
And that's me.
You can yell at me.
You could be like, you know?
I can't have a time period.
I'm like that.
But I play the long game.
So it's like, if somebody hurts me now, right?
And then I don't retaliate, people go, that person's like,
I got a gun.
You know what I mean?
I'm eight years later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, your tires are slashed.
Yeah, no, Bobby's like, he's got like a room.
He's got a room with the yarn facing, you know what I mean?
Picture of his like, you know, barista
that he goes through on the drive.
Yeah, yeah, I have dudes.
This is sad.
But I have some guys that I steal from like 12 years ago.
I haven't gotten back.
Oh, well.
And I am going to get them back.
Are you sure?
Oh, yeah.
I know who they are.
I know where they are.
Sometimes you've got to let it go.
I'm the real warfare type chick.
Her?
She is a fucking maniac.
I know.
I saw on her podcast when she went after me.
Played a clip?
By the way.
Cut to, you know.
I'm guerrilla warfare.
I'm like slow burn too.
It's like, I'll get you in other ways and ways
you don't even know you're getting got.
This whole relationship is her slow burning you.
You feel like you got got, babe?
Five years from now, she has all your money in a fucking,
she's giving it to a cat.
No, no, no, that's so true though.
Wait, that's how to be.
She ain't keeping it for herself.
She can be like, oh, it's good.
It's called the bubby league cat.
Honestly, that's not so far from the truth.
Only because it's like every time I've ever
needed financial help, it's always
because there's a dog in need or some cat that
needs a new leg and fucking wheelchairs.
That is true.
You're not wrong there.
All right, let's do Unhelpful of Us after I pee.
Oh, OK, you're going to pee?
You wait for like a minute.
Where am I going to go?
Yeah.
It's tiger belly.
That's the only person I care about for this.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So now I'm dealing with this like.
Well, would she be open to just doing like a court wedding
or like a hall?
Her mom is all into it.
She wants her to have like.
A big wedding.
Yeah.
Big family.
And then now I'm dealing with this thing of like who
to invite and who to not invite.
So now I'm going down the list.
I'm like, OK, here's the comics I would want to invite.
And then I go, well, I have to invite.
Is Bobby on the list?
Yeah, Bobby's on the list.
You hear that?
You're on his wedding list.
I have a short list.
Bro, bro, bro.
It's a short list.
Would you be on that?
I'm saying yes.
OK, you know what I mean?
That's only because Andrew's ahead of you,
so I have to invite it.
You know, if you, you know what I mean?
You can't invite one of the best.
Who's on the list?
Who's on the list?
Who's on the list?
Let's say Chris, you know, Craig Robinson, Leonard,
and Malcolm Barrett, they're like really close friends
of mine, you know what I mean?
And then it's like, then you start getting down the line
of like, you know, I got to invite Steve Simone.
He's a good buddy of mine.
I love Steve Simone.
You know what I mean?
Then it's like Jeremiah, you know?
It's like.
Love him.
You know, and then it's like, you, I got to invite Steve.
Not that he's on the list anyway, but I'm just saying.
Then you start to go, is it the one?
Are all those people ahead of me on the list?
No, Bobby.
Let's do the unhelpful advice.
Go ahead.
Unhelpful advice.
That's a tip.
Sensitive, boy.
Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalaila and Eric Griffin.
Hi, Taggerbelli.
I'm a guy who just turned 40 this year,
and I've been thinking more and more of my death
whenever it should happen.
It's not the process of dying that worries me as much
as the concept of death itself.
I mean, leaving my wife and daughter behind one day
makes me extremely sad, but what really scares
the hell out of me is the concept of eternal nothingness
and non-existence.
This thought was actually starting to make me depressed.
Every time I think about it and I stop enjoying what I'm doing
and I can't concentrate, because I'm like, what's the point
of anything?
Yeah, I hear.
You're such a happy-go-lucky.
Happy-go-lucky.
Don't give up.
Type of person who I love watching all these years.
Whatever he's asking now is stuff
I think about every other day.
But here, when you're thinking about the past,
like it's like the old saying, when
you have one foot in the past, one foot in the future,
you're pissing on today.
Yeah.
Yeah, have you heard of that?
Who's that one?
Suffering belongs in the past and in the future.
Today is a gift.
That's why they call it a present.
Right, so yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, right, so this is it.
Kung Fu Panda.
What I do when I think of those things, right,
is I literally touch the things around me
and I become hyper.
Visually, I become hyper-sensitive.
I look and see the details and things that I'm seeing.
And I concentrate on my breathing, right?
And I try to ground myself in now, right?
And I think that that has helped me the most.
But let me tell you something, you're not alone.
I mean, the older I get, I don't think that if I die,
I'm going to open my eyes.
I'm going to be in green pastures.
And I want to be riding Gobi, my dog.
No, but I do have this thing where I open my eyes
in a green pasture, rolling hills,
and this gigantic version of my animals
are licking me awake, right?
Julio and all the dogs.
And I wake up, but they're huge, where I can ride them, right?
And they have little saddles.
Well, at that point, they'll eat you.
No, they know me.
They know what, we're in heaven, dude.
We're not, right?
So then I get up on.
I mean, that's their heaven.
Maybe you're in a dog heaven.
Yeah, but I get on one of the dogs.
And I go, let's find Calyla.
So we ride.
And they know where you are.
She saw a fucking like two actors.
She's with Cillian Murphy.
She's with Cillian but Tom Hardy.
Getting double teamed.
And Edgar Ramirez.
And they're on a lily pad in a pond.
And they're in during a four-way.
She's a mermaid, right?
But the dogs don't want to go into the fucking pond,
because they don't like the water.
So I'm up there, and they're going barking, right?
And I go, come on, baby, stop fucking there, let's go.
And you're like, you're not even paying attention to me.
How's that heaven?
Yeah.
What's the good part here?
We're white, that's so sad.
It's good for me.
Yeah, it's great for her heaven.
You're kept away.
No, but then I hear a whistle, right?
And I go, what's the whistle?
I look on the hill, and the whistle's coming from.
You Bushemi?
No.
Oh, from your anus from his X-Men power.
I hear a little whistle from a supermodel, the vagina, right?
So then I go, come on, Gobi, let's go get her.
We go up there.
One of the same.
The ending of that.
All the way, Bobby.
Listen, I understand what he's saying.
I really do understand.
I feel like I've lived a full life already,
and now I'm starting a new life.
So it was part of my motivation for losing weight
and trying to be healthier, because I'm thinking, damn,
I have to now start another 30, 40 years
and try to have kids and all this kind of thing.
And I'm already an old-ass man.
So I was like, so I understand that feeling of,
but that guy's 40.
I'm older than that guy, so I can't think it like that.
I'm 49.
I can't be thinking like that.
We're the same age.
Yeah, I have to think that I'm going
to be the best version of myself moving forward,
not just for myself, but for my girl
and for whatever our future is going to be.
So this guy is focusing on the wrong shit.
I do think it sounds like from, because I've
had something very similar.
Even when I was a teenager, I was very obsessive about death,
what it meant, what it would feel like.
But I was told in therapy that that's intrusive.
Those are intrusive thoughts, especially
if it takes up a lot of your day to day.
If it changes your mood every day,
you need to see a therapist and work on intrusive thoughts
not taking over your life.
Word, and I second that.
I feel like therapy is very important.
It doesn't help you solve problems.
Therapy helps you pinpoint why things are happening
and the causes and how you can start
to have good coping mechanisms for them.
So I really said, because this guy,
that was a very detailed question from a brain that
seems to be obsessing about something that he shouldn't.
Right.
I also want to add this thing, which
was it made me feel better.
So when I was in Hungary, I was hanging out with Jamie Lee
Curtis a lot.
And I asked her that question about death.
And she goes, that's interesting.
You asked me, because the reason why I'm so active right now
in business, because she's got a bunch of shows she's
developing.
She's that Halloween movie that she produced.
She's doing a bunch of fucking shit.
She's busier than she's ever been in her whole career,
because she goes, I'm in my 60s.
And even my husband, Christopher Gass,
is like, what the fuck?
You're like a workhorse.
Because she's like, it's just motivating me to really just
do it all now, which made me feel like, oh, in my 60s,
I feel like I'm going to be the same.
You know what I mean?
Be more motivated to do everything.
And I think I'm going to be like that for the rest of my life.
Even in my 80s, I'm going to try to figure out,
like my mom's doing that.
My mom reads books, and she wants to learn about things,
because she just wants to get it all in before it ends.
Yeah, my mom was doing that, too,
before this dementia just took over.
She was trying to learn Spanish.
That's right.
She lived in Spain.
Yeah.
She was trying to like, so she had these Rosetta Stone type
stuff that she was trying to do that.
So I get it.
I think when you get in a certain age, you go, damn it.
I wish I would have learned piano.
So let me do that now, all that stuff.
But one thing that I found interesting about what he said,
though, has been the reason why I've
been able to reframe my whole feelings regarding death,
is that he says everything is just so meaningless.
And you're not wrong.
When I was able to kind of reframe it as, you're right.
When we die, it's really all over.
It took the pressure off of me in terms
of being really self-critical, hanging
on to bad things that happen in my life.
None of it fucking matters.
It really doesn't matter.
So be free.
Just enjoy yourself.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
This is like, you're absolutely right.
All doesn't matter, so just be the most free version
of yourself.
Yeah, it's actually almost like contradictory
what he's saying.
It's like, I'm worried about stuff that doesn't matter.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, then if it doesn't matter,
then don't make it matter and just enjoy your life.
There's this one TikTok that I swear to you.
I didn't think TikTok could change my life, but it has.
And there was a woman talking about what's
the best advice you've ever gotten.
And she was speaking, she asked a woman who was 107 years old.
She's like, how did you make it to this age?
And the lady said, you let things pass through you.
If it gets stuck, you get sick.
And I'm like, ah, that makes sense.
Just whatever it is, a pain, a joy in between,
you just let it all pass through you.
What's the guy that in Hawaii just died,
but he's a philosopher then?
Ram Dass.
Ram Dass said, death is like taking off a tight shoe, right?
Oh, shit.
What?
That's very what imagery that is.
Because I'm thinking about when I have a tight shoe on,
and how that makes me feel.
And it's like, so that makes me think like,
loosen up these laces.
I feel like death is going to be like, ah.
You should talk to my stepdad.
He gets high every fucking day of his life.
You ask him, Raj, he's scared of dying.
He's like, why?
He just has no fear.
He's like, take me now.
Don't give a shit.
He has like ultimate joy in his heart.
And I feel like I really, like he's a role model for that.
But Ram Dass said something else.
He said, he would seek the experience of watching people
die because there was no more like, he was like,
he was in the face of truth.
And what is it?
Like pure, like honest, adulterated.
Yeah, my great aunt, when she died,
she called for my mom and I, and we were there on her death
bed, and she was talking to me.
And I was just like, just the way she was,
just the rawness of her being like, you know,
the family's got to get back together.
And you know, I was just like, damn, she just died.
Dang.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
I'll call way Bob's back.
Hallway. Anyway. Anywho.
That's going to be the name of this episode, right?
Hallway Bobby.
Yeah.
Anyway, real nice.
Thanks for coming in.
You only going to do the one?
Really nice.
Love you.
Love everyone in the room.
For the record, I do love you a whole lot.
And I am so sorry about if anyone came after you
about the lingerie thing.
You guys, Eric and I are friends.
You don't understand the rapport.
Yeah.
I just was taking out of context.
And the final thing, the final thing is, I want to say,
is that if you want good luck in your life
and love in your life.
No, no.
Yeah.
No.
What are you going to say first?
What are you?
I'm curious.
You can spit it out.
Let me fucking.
I know.
Dude, I'm the guy.
You're the producer of the show.
Unfollow George.
Yeah, if you want good luck in your life
and love in your life, right?
And great prosperity and money and wealth and good fortune.
Listen to Riffin with Griffin.
Listen to Riffin with Griffin, right?
And also unfollow George Kimmel on Instagram
and follow Andreas.
Andres.
Andres on Instagram.
Bobby is funny.
He's back to do all follow me and he'll get funnier.
It'll increase his power.
Then no one's listening to you.
But anyway, and so namaste to you.
Thank you so much.
I've never seen him this passionate.
You're really getting to him.
Oh, thank you so much.
Good bye.
Hey, guys.
Oh, by the way, five time guest, Eric Griffin.
Oh, wow.
The record yet?
Thank you, Matt.
You've done it every single year except 2012.
Hey, this is kind of crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm crazy.
I'm crazy.
I'm crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
I'm a little crazy.
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