TigerBelly - Ep 311: Godfrey & The Cheddar Man

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Bobby hashes it out in the Comedy Store parking lot as Marc Maron watches. Godfrey gets a standing O for SNL. Khalyla loves an upside-down Attenborough. Gilbert knows Butterfly in the Sky. We... talk Cheddar Men, Mexican vampires, nice ways to say No, and acting with Snoop Dogg.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Because you hugged us with your pants down He would hug me with his pants down what you would hug me with you you did okay, okay? Okay? Okay? Okay? Here we go. Okay, but Because you always push me away, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay? No, no are we starting let me know It's on right? Yeah. Yeah. No, no, but no, but I do pre-talk first little pre-talk. Okay. No doubt, but then it's like Bro, bro, but when I when I start going into it. Don't say anything and I'll say your name Wait, what don't say don't say my name. No, no, no, bro Listen, bro. Did I say that I say the Mandarin Chinese dog? Oh, you're Korean. I know so I wouldn't why would I know that see how?
Starting point is 00:00:53 I know my Asians The pinnows do the Tagalog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they don't come as to come as the car. Thank you Come on It means that I learned in the second grade. Did you see the giant bottle in the bathroom? There was a bottle on the chicken But it was a giant bottle for I think spraying your butt with water Don't spray with bottles though. We use a why is there a giant to wash? What's the giant bottle in the bathroom? I don't know masturbatory purposes. Oh, gotcha. Oh, is that what the but I don't know I just paid attention to the chicken focused on it. Oh
Starting point is 00:01:31 What is a chicken? There's a chicken. Oh, yeah, my old chicken. No chicken. It's my old chicken. It was a real chicken Oh, you got a stuffed tax today. I don't fucking know, bro. Whoa, I didn't do I didn't go to KFC and go Hey, can I have the skin part? Whoa, the feather part. Yeah, I mean They don't have that. Anyway, um, no, but you I always felt like you pushed me away and it's like I give you Pure energy, but I always thought that you thought I was gay. Never. Oh, you just you hugged a lot with your pants down Not gay, but you would just have his pubic hair showing I love you. Come on. Come on. Don't be afraid
Starting point is 00:02:14 I I I how long have I known you? Well, we'll talk anyway, we'll start and then don't say anything to our same name Think of America you and I said I was not I said not to fucking say anything, bro. Oh my gosh Think of America you and me Think of America you would think you would think that a black dude, right? Which is roll up with a different song Be not let just like with this and just think of America. You would think it's like the op it's like Why don't you just listen to any a dog? anyway, um, I Mean and then he switched the music when he knew I was there
Starting point is 00:03:15 I think it was like some sort of hip-hop. Yeah. Yeah, so like he switched it But in his but I know for a fact when he's just running to adventura. It's it's Tom Petty all day, right? Yo, I don't say anything. Yo Don't see shit. I'm about to introduce you so um do that. Yeah. Yeah, think of America. It made me laugh so That's not even lyrics dummy I know but bro, let me just the rules brah. Okay. All right. So um, we got Gilbert You know what I mean with this dude? I always told you dog. Don't wear a red red ball cap like because if I My vision wasn't good. It would say something else then coca-cola. What would you do to me?
Starting point is 00:03:59 I wouldn't do nothing man. I'll probably walk away. But anyway, we got We we got white white. I love you, man You're mask is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah, he's right. It looks like it should be holding a pair of balls instead Why just so heavy on the bottom old underwear? Yeah, that's what it looks like. Yeah. Yeah, you just go say shit bro, bro We got my beautiful partner in life. Thank you. And so um years ago, maybe 20 years ago I don't remember when it was. I didn't really know. I don't know if I knew him or not. No knew him But uh, I remember being in Hawaii. Oh, that was funny. Yeah. Yeah, and I remember
Starting point is 00:04:35 The club or the promoter or whatever was like, oh, well, we're picking up Godfrey from New York City You know, I mean, it's Hawaii. Yeah, John John and I go you remember him. Yeah, and I go Oh Can I go and I remember we ate at a restaurant by the beach I remember we ate at a restaurant by the beach, right? I remember and then you did a show, but um That's when I started going. You know what? I'm going to do my like Pants down hugs with this guy. He gives me those vibes
Starting point is 00:05:08 There's something because he's like muscular right But at the time he was also a little thinner. Okay, you know what I mean? And he just uh I don't know. I was really into Spike Lee movies back then, you know what I mean? And I just Don't be embarrassed. I was into I was into ang Lee Match made in heaven. Yeah, so give him a run. You can talk now Godfrey everybody. Oh Shit, let's go. So what's up with the musical choice? Oh, I was um, it was um, you know, like playlist
Starting point is 00:05:43 It was it was John Cougar Mellencamp and you said isn't it in America? No, it's ain't that America Oh, I didn't know he was like isn't in America. I'm gonna get the shit right. All right Now I listen to classic rock all that because it's all black shit What do you mean? All american music is black creative. That's true That's the root of all of it Tom anybody anybody plays get anytime you pick up an instrument. You're doing black shit So, you know, I'm in the pro black shit Yeah, yeah, I like I like I like making people mad I just go no because a classic rock they go. Yeah, let's say I love classic rock because it's all blues chords
Starting point is 00:06:21 All but every every artist will tell you. Oh, who'd you learn from? Oh muddy waters lightning hopkins the rolling stones They gave so much money to muddy water because they took all his stuff. Yeah, like the bg's There's a great documentary on the bg. We just saw it and the bg's got famous when they started singing black falsetto Yes, when they moved to Miami. Yeah, they started going. Uh-huh. They started singing black and that's how they yeah That's how you win in the voice. You got to sing black. Yeah No, it's asians and white. They're seeing black. You can't you can't win going so luck be Tonight you're not gonna win. You got to be like and I'm telling you And that's why Filipinos are always in the top five because we know how to do that. Yeah, you sing black
Starting point is 00:07:02 Well, you have black in you In the mountains, come on, you know about the negritos and the atas of the who knows the original Listen to me though. Listen to me for a second. What? It's my fucking show. Oh, that's right. Listen to me for a second. Please listen to me. I want to ask you Did you know I have nothing to say but listen to me Go ahead go ahead. Did you know that? Did you know about the negritos in the north of the Philippines and the atas? We were they have afros in it. Yeah, we like a lot of like my mom like my mom has Very curly hair like this is the north of the Philippines. No, she doesn't
Starting point is 00:07:41 What are they called? They're called negritos negritos like negros in it. Yeah, but we were much shorter It's small. It means small. Yeah, Ata. Yeah, could you call like if you see a black friend in the street What's up negrito? I would that I feel like that that would if he's half Filipino there'd be pushback on that In korea, there's a word there. There's no original Filipinos. Yeah, those are original Filipinos. That's what they look like for We were black black. Yeah, you guys were full-blown. They got african ancestry. Yeah, look at marianne, babe Yo, my hey, listen. Yeah, my girlfriend in high school was Filipino. Um, that's earth wind fire if you Oh, yeah, yeah, that's earth wind fire rock lava all the elements heart
Starting point is 00:08:24 But yeah, um, my girlfriend in in high school is Filipino sophomore year We have a lot of Filipinos in Chicago. So and yeah, and you know, my mother was a nurse. So go figure Filipinos. Yeah, so that's my mother trained my Filipino friends to become nurses, which is great. Wow. Um, yeah, but Yeah, she was darker and the other full lips. Yeah, it's like there's african ancestry But you know, a lot of times a lot of these places don't want to show that because like look at the latin The latin uh stations, they're not going to show like what cubans really look like or Puerto Ricans They show the whitest of the white. Yeah, and that's happens. I'm Nigerian, you know that I Everybody has the they want to look lighter and
Starting point is 00:09:09 But can I let me ask you a question god the dark people got to take over so people be proud of their darkness I I understand I understood that modern rock and roll right and and music rmb all that stuff has their roots, right? Yeah, yeah from black people from blues jazz Right, okay, and then before that probably from you know, what are they called the himinals back in the day? The himinals all black Right, but what I'm saying though is is that can't you say that? Even himinals and that stuff is derived from maybe classical music too or no classical music. The violin is african origin Oh my god, it is. What about what about hey? What about the japanese flutes? No, no hold on hold on. Yeah, Japanese flutes. You can keep that
Starting point is 00:09:53 The Korean mandolin hey, you know what if you ever do you ever do how well there's house of comedy in um scott's dale and they have A museum called the mim museum of instrumental music. Yeah, and you go there it is unreal It's unbelievable But there's another one in austria and you go there and they and when you walk in it's the first the first Instrument is the banjo the african. It's the banjos from africa and I'm like that would be great to go to a clan meeting and go Hey guys, I'd something to tell you The banjo is an african it's an african instrument And they have they go if you go to different continents they have korea
Starting point is 00:10:31 They have all the flutes and they on the different instruments all the ancient instruments from all the different countries, right? It's unbelievable and what's really funny. I was there I went two days in a row and I was there and they showed australia And so there's footage of the instruments being played and it's all the Original australians. They're all black all ever all the opportunities are playing the didgeridoo Yeah, and there's a white little white girl with her her dad. She goes. Who what are the are those? What are those australians? He goes yeah those the original ones. She goes what happened?
Starting point is 00:11:06 And I was right. Yeah. Well, he just learned what a Maori was two days. What in zhuzilan Malari Maori Maori Like my tattoo is Tonga is Tongan. Yeah Well, it's Niger it's Nigerian and Tongan mix because and but a lot of the Polynesian and all that it was african and southern Chinese coming together Let me just look at them I've got afros But the first thing Paul Mooney ever said to me out of his mouth is he didn't even introduce himself
Starting point is 00:11:33 He just goes black people and then a chap sticks Chopsticks But it was just a goddamn spear It was just a smaller right damn spear and um Then he would say then he would say stuff like, you know, you know, the first bones they ever found was in africa First man, it's true. Right. It's not asia. No the first bow Asians car. No, what is the old look up google? Okay, I want to win this competition. Okay. The oldest bones ever discovered. You know, like what content? Okay. Yeah, please we're gonna win
Starting point is 00:12:06 Please please please please please please please like this Bobby. God damn it Bobby. I'm so sick of you It's it's it's um and Asians come from the san people where the san people is out there africa The eight morocco, that's africa Oh, fuck that's as african as you get with I know i know those white scientists go damn it another bone We dug in Ireland nothing. Oh, and they just they just found they just found in in london They just found a bone the oldest bone. It's a black dude. They're so pissed. It's like bullshit bullshit No, no, it's bullshit. Yeah, it's it's a black. It's called. He's called the cheddar man. Show the cheddar man
Starting point is 00:12:50 Show the cheddar man This is like two three. They're upset. They're like, no No, it's impossible. No No, fucking what here it is Yeah, that's not black. Yeah. Yeah, this is oh, yeah, that is black. Come on Well, the first one the first one's not well, they made it the four ones the first one's ispanic for sure They're trying to give them and look at look at look at look at the watermen over here the right the right It just depends on what's not that's called. Yeah, fucking with it. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no
Starting point is 00:13:17 It's it's you can't deny dna You know what? I'm just saying that they found bones, right? They built it up, right and depend on who's ever the the painter Yeah, right clan put on yellow And they can make an Asian but it's listen. Yeah in order to get all of you beautiful people I have to be in the room first You need in in science in order to in a you know, I remember science physics. Yeah, I remember physics I had a great lesbian teacher. She was awesome. She had boots. She was fucking hard
Starting point is 00:13:49 But I liked I was like, she's so fucking cool. Listen, I cheated throughout physics 3a I did pretty good in physics man. And and I remember when we threw light through a prism We wanted to show all the different spectrums of colors as she would be like, yo We're gonna shine this light through a prism and in order for this this this beam of light to break into different colors What do we need? Black background, right? So it's like that with genetics. I came in and just draw. I just want to no no No, bro, I want to learn good. He's very pro Asian. He believes no I love to Bobby's one of the funniest human beings on the fucking planet
Starting point is 00:14:25 And I was talking about that with ruben paul yesterday at the lab fact I said that is one of the funniest motherfuckers Period straight up straight down. That's how racist this goddamn business is Bob is to be the most famous motherfucker on the planet. That's I feel No, I'm serious. Yeah, but you always complain that you didn't have more than 25 minutes You always said but cover. I don't I can't do more It's like this. I said, but Bobby you can do no, that's all I have Is that really how I sound? Yes
Starting point is 00:14:57 Bobby, you're just honestly honestly. Yeah, remember when I met you. Is this who I am? I met you in Hawaii. I don't know. I tried to learn how to surf and you were red Remember you were burnt. Oh, yeah, and you were like this. Ah, I try to learn how to surf I'm hurting. Oh, no, no. Remember your hope. I think you're exaggerating me No, your hair is shorter. Yo, this is the way I talk. No Your hair is shorter. No, no, no, no. That's how I talk, brah. Ew, no Yo, nah No, oh, fuck. Nah
Starting point is 00:15:25 I'm more like this. Yeah. Yeah, this is me more. Oh, fuck Even even even when during the Joe Rogan thing when that whole that Carlos Mencia thing Oh my god, and Nate went to you back. I started laughing because Bobby goes, yeah, he's still no, no, no I'm sorry. Don't don't talk to me Bobby bailed. Fuck Bobby bailed. It was I said, that's Bobby though. I'm weasel because at first you were like this You're like this. Yeah. Yeah, man. He's still no, no, no. No, no, no. I forget it. Forget what I said That's Bobby Lee But that's what makes I've known you that long. You were like this. All I have is 25 minutes and then I pull my pants down
Starting point is 00:16:02 I go away That's all I have is my public care thing I go, have you done a special? Yeah, never done it. How the fuck crazy never done one. How the fuck Do you not do a special bro? Godry? I'm listening to me right now. Okay. Focus on me, right? Do you need people to write for you? No, no, no, I got just listen to what I'm saying Godry. Okay No special I got nothing right But look at the house that I have is fucking dope. My point is is this right? What's up? I'm doing fine
Starting point is 00:16:29 No, no, this is what I'm saying like the road the road that I'm traveling, right? Is with a lot of fruit There's fruits on the trees and there's a lot of wealth and there's a lot of uh, you're doing family and love and You're staying away from the fuck shit, huh? What's the fuck shit? Just I mean you said you're doing fine You seem like what you're saying is you're avoiding the bullshit. You don't want to go through. Maybe you're not going through You don't want to go. I don't know. It's just sounds like You know, our business is is a mind fuck. So When you find like your path, it's awesome. You don't have to find other when you can do well without fucking
Starting point is 00:17:10 You can find your own way. That's awesome I found I've I've always found my way and I'm gonna be calm now. All right Now I want to be you know, you don't want to be calm. I know I don't want to be No, no, no, no want to be calm. In fact, this is the way I'm going to talk for the rest of the podcast I know I think you're lying. No. Yeah. All right. So my my little my my dear black friend. Yes May I say something to you? Yes, you may the road that I'm traveling is full of fruit Right and I bear the fruit it's full of um You know, I mean earthly energies. Yeah, and yeah, and it's it's it's I succumb to the wealth of my region
Starting point is 00:17:50 Okay, and just listen to what I'm saying. We're listening. Yeah. Yeah, I understand that right and I feel beloved and I feel like I'm the right path the group glory I'm on the right path. I doesn't matter Because I when I get when I get emotional I stutter. Oh, okay. Yeah. So if I was doing a TED talk or whatever, right? Oh, it was what right right right right right path to the global glory. I would say like that. Okay So my point is is this I dated a guy with a stutter. Did you really? Yeah, he couldn't say I have like a couple L's in my name and he had a hard time with L Well a lot of is he was he white? No, he's mexican
Starting point is 00:18:26 There's really some my I have a couple of white friends that don't say they're L's Like I made fun of mark maren because he don't really say his L's that well. Well, what was he like? I really like it No, really? Yeah, tom bro call newscaster. Yeah, don't say his L's like, uh Uh, my other friend too. He's black dude. He doesn't say his L's and he doesn't really say his L's It's like a weird as a little impediment. Yeah, can I ask you a question? It's not Japanese Let me ask you Japanese don't have L or R. Not really. Let me ask you a question. What's up? So, um, I've been thinking about you in the last 48 hours. Okay. Come into your house No, I
Starting point is 00:19:04 Feel glad that you're here. I'm glad you answered my call. I didn't think he would why do you say that? I don't know because it's LA Hey, what you think I'm an LA guy. Wow. No, don't be like that But I wanted I was thinking about you and I was like, um Because I know I know when you're on stage. Yes That you kill more almost more than the next guy. Would you let me ask you that do you feel that? Um Be honest. I want you to be fruitful. Okay fruitful, right and bear the bear the fruit Okay, right and I want you to be completely honest with me. No, I think I kill a lot harder than most people and you can and
Starting point is 00:19:42 A lot of people don't like to follow and you consistently do it. Yes, right. I consistently you're very consistent I can be yeah, I I I can honestly say the last time I bombed was probably when I first started comedy Like in the 90s. Yeah. Yeah, because when I watch you I go because you're good on your feet as well Yeah, and you can do voices. Yes, you can do a little dance. You can dance a little bit one man in a world Yeah, yeah, you can do that, right? I can do a little dances. No, but you just something you have an energy Yeah That's how you You're not doing a dance with bobby, right?
Starting point is 00:20:22 Do the jellyfish. Oh Oh jellyfish Yeah But no, let me ask you because Manowar Manowar is not one but it's a bunch of them. I know it's a colony. It's a colony. I don't want to hate about you You know everything. You know fucking everything test them. I'll tell you what he does No, do you know how few people know about the Portuguese manowar not being one but a colony of jellyfish. Fuck the jellyfish
Starting point is 00:20:52 Fuck them Fuck that jellyfish. What I'm saying to you is is that now do you think? Yeah In your heart, do you feel like you should be bigger than you are? Yes But um, yeah, and it's like because people in the street Like this is when I knew it was like getting crazy. I saw a dude in new york And he was like not he was like a panhandler, but he wasn't homeless, but he was a panhandler Yeah, and he goes it's about time you get bigger than what you are. I was like goddamn even he knows Yeah, he was literally like I'm not trying to ask you for no money or nothing man. I'm just saying you're so good
Starting point is 00:21:26 I say he said but it's probably because you have integrity and that's what I do have and I'm not gonna lose it Um, and it's like you don't do certain things that other cats would do Yeah, like when I see guys that are bigger than me. I go well, I wouldn't have done the stuff they were doing I want to do this and sometimes if you choose integrity over whatever the fuck You know, there's a point like you say in your life You're like happen. There's a point in my life where I don't go for everything. I go. I don't want to do that I'm just going to do this I let I cut the fat because let's come on. We were all like I'll do anything
Starting point is 00:21:56 Ha ha whoo whoo. I was that guy. Yeah, I couldn't even get on a uh, I never even got on uh, um, you got on us What is it? Fuck skit a comedy show like you were on Matt TV Matt TV Yeah, I could never get on those and I could do different carry. I never got chosen for them crazy I never everybody's like, yeah, I never people like how the fuck I got rejected snl rejected me three times Um, I got a standing ovation in my first snl It was in new york
Starting point is 00:22:25 And that's when they chose tracy morgan jimmy fowl and all and I I got a standing ovation in my audition Wow And when you were getting this content you in your head you were probably going I got this I yeah because I'm coming from Chicago Come into new york and I was like and you're thinking all you're thinking is I could be like eddie murphy Like I grew up watching eddie murphy on snl. Like what you know what I mean? It's like I could be that and I did well They said we four characters four impersonations. Oh my god. I was And boom, I'm like because I you should be good in what you do. Yeah, you should be good. Yeah, like you on matt tv
Starting point is 00:23:04 That's it. That's what's supposed to happen Bobby's fucking funny. Yeah, he should be on that. You know every spears. Yes, you know And I was I didn't even make it to the second phase. I didn't even get a call back Nothing. Wow. All right. Yeah, and what does that do to you in it fucking killed me like because I'm a young comic Thinking oh my god. I'm an snl and the pressure and I killed it Yo, that killed me for a long time. Yeah, and then I had another try out Right. It was weird. I was with Collin Quinn. I was at the mbc studios I was doing a table read for adam sandler. It was me crazy more and I had to play different characters
Starting point is 00:23:45 I had to play a russian a nigerian. I did different Dominican I did five different accents, but well, and then the lady it was marci kline Calvin Klein's daughter used to recruit people for snl And this blonde lady just comes at me like who are you? Who are you? I was like Um, and I was like what the fuck did I do something wrong? Right? She goes. I need to know your name. I've been watching you You're incredible. Whatever Give me your information got her information and then Collin Quinn's like that's marci kline. She never does that She's the recruiter for snl. They never I never got back to me that didn't it didn't happen again
Starting point is 00:24:22 So it was just like constantly Because it's what it's probably in that situation. There's one, you know gatekeeper Yeah, one gatekeeper and it's like whatever he feels. Yeah, he could have 15 people around him go No, this is the guy if he's not so yeah on it or yeah like it or whatever You know, but all I can be is myself. You're right, but I got other things and I'm not gonna sit there and say Oh, you never got it. I got other things. You did an airplane movie. Oh that I just I just shot What was that airplane movie? It's so play. So yeah, I love that but so plain I only the only reason why I did it was because snoop was the first cast member and I said snoop is what is snoop doing?
Starting point is 00:25:00 And my agents were like, oh come on. So plain is this is a ghetto ass movie It's fucking I said who's cast snoop dog. I said really? I'm reading to play as copilot. I said I'm going in. I want to fucking hang with snoop Was in Sofia Vergara and that's yeah, Sofia Vergara terry cruz. Yeah, um monique Well, Lonnie love a method man. There was it. Wow Kevin Hart. Yeah was the main guy D. L. Hughley Tom Arnold There was a bunch of people and I go I think I'm gonna go in for it because it's snoop dog
Starting point is 00:25:30 I want to do something with snoop dog so badly and so I went in I went into the audition room And they were like, so what are you gonna do and my buddy who I knew was the casting director guy named Ulysses From New York City and I was like, I'm gonna do a Nigerian accent. They were like what I say Yeah, everybody's doing the ghetto. Yo, fuck that. If I said let snoop dog be the ghetto dude And I'll be the Nigerian guy and we can clash and bump head. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I got the part in the room Wow, and I all everything I did is so plain is all improv. Wow I need to be the Nigerian give me a Nigerian accent for what I can do it. It's very easy So believe you are very fun. I don't understand why you're not doing your hour
Starting point is 00:26:10 I cannot yeah, that's my father's bad. It's my father's action. Can I can I try? Yeah? Yeah Yeah, yeah, okay. I want to say I want to learn. No, no, wait, wait. Let me learn. Let you learn because you're on a road for fruitfulness I'm fruiting. You're fruiting. Whoa pause Ready, okay, here we go. Give me one word first. I'm ready. How are you? How are you? Oh Hey Okay, ready. What is your name? What is your name? Hey, you almost sound a little like I know What is going what what is your name? What is your name? What is your name?
Starting point is 00:26:44 That's it. What is your name? What is your name? It got a little it was got a little Yeah, yeah, I got a little something else try to get try to give me another one longer one. Okay. Okay. So yeah Use your common sense. Ah Use your common sense Give me one more shot and then you get a shot I don't need a shot but I can promise I'm better than you Try Use your common sense
Starting point is 00:27:23 Follow the fruit, baby. Follow me. Follow me. Ready. It's not how you say my name Where's this list coming from? What Nigerians don't have lists? No, we don't gotta be one guy with a list. No, someone's like, we are youth He What are you doing here? All right. I have a speech impediment. All right. So I'm gonna Let's pass on that. Right. Let's try it. I want to try a different completely different accent. Okay. Let's uh, you should also give me one You should also test his Korean. Oh, yeah, do you mind? Yeah, yeah, hello. Thank you
Starting point is 00:27:54 So this is I guess dulso bibimbap with a bulgogi Wow, oh my hajima. He knows everything. Listen. Oh my hajima. You know how I know oh my hajima Yeah, my friend Hank Korean top mom. You right stop mom. Yeah, he was getting his ass whooped Korean parents will fuck you up. This is Chicago. Yeah, my little league. I was playing little league I'm like 10 9 10 His mom is fucking smacking him. He's going. Oh my hajima hajima. And we're like, yo, Hank What what's the hajima shit man? Yeah. Yeah. He was like, I don't say mom. Stop. Stop. Oh my hajima. Oh my hajima Uh, oh my hajima. Yeah, so I got that Korean. No, but give me another accent. Okay. Um, oh
Starting point is 00:28:35 Oh, uh, what about, um um, fucking Like a Cuban Dominican or whatever. Try try try. Okay I don't like that I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like the way you're coming on me I don't like that. I don't like the way you're coming on me. We're calling on me No, a lot a lot of times, you know, my like my wife She's always money money. All the time. I love you
Starting point is 00:28:59 A lot of times a lot of times a lot of times. Hey, I can't believe it. You know, local a la cabeza Yeah, local a la cabeza. Say that local a la cabeza He has a Okay, um disproportionately large tongue for how small his mouth is. Thank you. All right There you go. Thank you. It's like real thick and meaty. Thick and meat. Can you look at what a really large tongue might mean? I Yeah, look at that meat. No yours. It's like but he has If your mouth is so small and your tongue is so like
Starting point is 00:29:41 Okay, that means you should be able to do Donald Trump. Oh, can you do Donald Trump? Yeah, go ahead You people are great. Who cares? Bobby Lee. You're amazing. I can't do it. Bobby Lee deserves you deserve an hour You people are great. Yeah, you people are great. You people are great. People are great. Come on, Bobby. You can do it Let's go, Bobby. You can go, please Come on, Bobby. Your mouth is just as small as mine. I don't understand. I don't understand. You're perfect. You can do it Bobby Lee, yeah, it's so funny when I was on Matthew D, right? They would go the writers were just like We don't know and and then the producer was just give him the tapes He was like send me like what tapes like Irish accent tapes
Starting point is 00:30:24 Oh, really right and spent a whole weekend listening to it and then I would go to the table read and they'd be like No, it's not you know, you just don't do I just can't really do anything really in that in that way He can't even do an Asian accent. They can barely do an Asian accent. His Korean accent's not good. Yeah, so my point is is that Because but here's the thing. All right, what I've always known about myself. Do you know Filipino accent? Yeah Yeah, they always say uh capri you're getting bigger every time I see you Every time I see you you're getting bigger very funny Yeah, funny funny My see I lived in a building in in Chicago. It's called Uptown
Starting point is 00:31:03 It's the most integrated area because cargo is the most segregated city in the country So I lived well, it was all immigrants. So it's like my next door neighbors were from Cambodia then downish down the hall was Um, um, is it uh Castillos that they're Filipino and then there was African American Then there was Korean then there was Jewish then there's Polish Russian Yugoslavia when it was Yugoslavia My friends were from everywhere The only time I got culture shock is when I went to high school about 25 minutes away And it was all white and I got called the n-word And my Filipino friend Larry Buhay was called. Uh, he got called
Starting point is 00:31:40 Man, I never heard that before and they called him nip and shit. I was like, what's the name? Wow, but it's from the japan nipon, but I was like a great last name Buhay means life Yeah, Buhay. Yes, Larry Buhay. I remember because in my honor I was in honors classes And and I remember these kids were calling him and I said Larry man. They're fucking making fun He goes dude, just he wanted to be accepted by them. So ballet was a dude. They're calling us names, bro We're in honors English class and I'm like, dude, they're calling us fucking names But we couldn't do anything because because it was them against us. Yeah So yeah, but I grew up around a lot of immigrant kids. So that's where all this Vietnamese, especially Vietnam
Starting point is 00:32:16 And I know Vietnamese. They're like, I Vietnam. I Vietnam Vietnam you said I Vietnam When you're around all these people, did you practice like these accents at home? No, I could just it's just I have a good year My brother's the same way. Yeah, you just go boom. It's like Caliendo. Like I'm friends with Frank Caliendo Frank. Yeah, Frank and he's he could just listen to something and just do it But it's he you're born like that. It's a type of talent that I've always just like I wish I had It's like it's like it's like people who can just paint stuff like can draw It's just something in your brain. That's just I think extra specialized. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:53 Yeah, because you're extra specialized It's like people that can there's a guy there's people you think you're you're who can multiply without a fuckface You think your brain is extra more extra special than my areas of your dumb brain is specialized Bobby you have some parts of your brain that is special. That's more special than yours as well. Of course All right, I took on areas of your brain. I didn't say your whole brain was fucked up I know but my brain I said I won't Bobby there are parts of my brain that is very special very special
Starting point is 00:33:23 Especially when you do your African Ready go the cerebral cortex of my brain. Yeah, it is uh very special Well, you have your right side is your spatial side your left side is your analytical which one's the analytical It's a left side. That's that's not good. The right one's the right one right right one is spatial more spatial Yeah, I'm very I'm a very spatial too. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean analytical as well Kind of yeah, not like my ex-girlfriend who was a math genius supreme math I want to talk about something that he doesn't know just so that yeah Star Trek well, he obviously knows about star trek star trek next generation. No, I like star trek the original
Starting point is 00:33:57 No, but let's uh, but that's what we No, no, no, no, no, that's what And that's what I'm gonna talk about the next generation and Shatner was at my show in New York City What are you doing? You're not doing this. He looks amazing. He's nice. He's 90. Go ahead. We're talking about the next generation Okay, the next well, there's a couple next generations. No, no, that was the one with lavar Burton. Yeah Lavar Burton was his name first of all first of all First of all was really sad
Starting point is 00:34:23 It's lavar Burton should be the fucking host of deputy lavar Burton should be the host of jeopardy That's true. They use two white. Oh, yeah. No, they changed it to my um, the girl from big bang Oh, she's the she's the host of jeopardy. Yeah, that she's it's oh blossom Yes, her is it two people. Who is it? So they because there was a lot of there was uproar people were like We don't like these two guys. Um, yeah, they're wax. So now it's the girl. Yeah, it's mayim biologist So she is the official and then another guy. So it's two still two of them. That's corny. No, first of all That's corny and it's like lavar Burton should have been the guy. Yeah, but it's perfect But when somebody's campaigning for himself
Starting point is 00:35:01 Like if I'm a lavar was if I own jeopardy, right? And I have some cat going I think I'd be perfect for it. Wait lavar did that. Yeah, he campaigned for himself like he He was yeah, he was fighting for himself to do it. Well, he should because I know I but he's reading rainbow Yeah, first of all, all right, he played a slave. He was cool to get I knew it. I know he chopped his leg off All right, and then wait and then he was in star trek and he was blind. So they Yeah, yeah, why did black dude got to be blind on a spaceship? Even in the future was fucked up Like they made him blind. I know so he's done all the handicapped shit. Give him the any reading rainbow Yeah, great. I mean fuck education. I think he's perfect. What is reading rainbow? Explain it to me butterfly in the sky
Starting point is 00:35:45 You don't know reading Gilbert Godfrey, let's go. It's about this is crazy. It's about butterflies in the sky No, it's just the there was a theme song. Oh, you know and reading rain A lot of people a lot of illiteracy Like kind of went downward because of that show you got interested in reading books Which people don't really like to do a lot reading is it's a little tough sometimes because of attention span, but But he should be he I think he was just a perfect Maybe he just they just weren't ready for a black dude to host jeopardy because he got steve harvey
Starting point is 00:36:23 On that family Survey said Right now your ass don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm gonna tell you right now. It's incredible Yeah, he's killing it on that killing it. So they're like there's a lot of black Um game show people there's Wayne Brady. Yeah, let's make a deal. So I guess they don't go. Well, let us have jeopardy It's almost like Tom Brady a quarterback Oh, you think maybe that could be it. I think it's I I I personally think It's either cuz he's black. I'm just being honest or it's because what we got like some african-americans here here
Starting point is 00:37:00 Let's keep this one. You know, yeah, what about an asian host? What the fuck? No, wait, what do we got but in Asia what best game shows are all but all of them They take them all from asian steal them and bring them here. I think I think Japanese I can tell you right now the first asian game show host. I think I know who I know who it's gonna be Ken he's right there. He is a host. Yeah, ken jung will be like one of those. I could see him doing that Yeah, Steve burr. What about steve? Uh, he a little too angry for me right now You gotta see his dad. Okay. I know his dad steve
Starting point is 00:37:35 Steve used to hang with me a lot in new york We have same birthday july 21st And I went I remember this is how much of a best friend I was of that jackass When I was in prog I went and got a hot, you know, he's a big hockey fan. He's from pittsburgh I know yeah, and I got yami or jogger I went to his bar in prog walked over there and I went and got him a jersey of his favorite hockey player Yami or jogger and a hockey puck for that jackass. He looks like his dad, which is crazy Looks like his father. Yeah, who's irish. Who's the like guy? Yeah, that it's so trip when I saw his father. Oh my god
Starting point is 00:38:11 Yeah, and steve has that irish anger in him. He has that he had a good dude. Dude. I'm not angry dude Yeah, yeah, come on. Godfrey. I'm not angry. Yeah, come on, dude Never it's funny because mark miran, right? Yeah Every time at the store he sees me in the parking lot hashing it out with comedians So mark like I had a hash it out with dean del rey. I had a hash it out with a thousand. Yeah, everyone has a problem with me Why people walk by you know, fuck you and then I'll be all right What did I do and then we have to go to the fucking park a lot and we hash it out But mark is always whenever I'm hashing out. I always look and mark is always
Starting point is 00:38:46 So mark thinks I have a problem which I do I have a problem with a lot of people why No, because I have this thing where it's like I'm not direct with you. So it's like I'll have a guy come up and go Hey, man, it's been a while since I've never done tiger belly Time's ticking right. Yeah, and I go. Oh shit Oh my dad Right, and they'll be like so what up and I go I'm putting it. I'll pretend I'm putting on schedule right now. He doesn't book it right right. What are you three weeks? Okay, three weeks this day You're lying. Just listen. Yeah in my head. I know it's not gonna ever gonna happen
Starting point is 00:39:27 I know it's I know it's never gonna happen right and I'll give them a buddy Keep it up. Keep it up right Killing it right and they're all right three weeks. I'm like Three weeks right that kind of thing And then like three years will go by Oh You know what I mean? Fuck you. You're right like this, right? And I'm gonna be like, let's have a talk Right, and then we have a talk mark marin. Yeah, and then mark marin's over there. Yeah, I'm like that guy
Starting point is 00:39:55 Really? Yeah, and I don't want to be but you I don't want to be you just has trouble saying no Yeah, I don't want to say no. Yeah, wow, but but I'm beginning to do it You're better at it. I'm gonna say no say no to someone who just comes up to you and say I want to do your podcast Not only it's tough. That's tough one. You just go like this. How do you podcast? No Yeah, you can't yeah, especially in this business. It's sad because our business is so phony. It's not you being phony We've been trained to do that because you never know who you're saying no to you know the next minute. Oh, shit I would audition for this sitcom and it was that guy's he was the direct You know, we're always afraid of what if this person is this it's fucked up. You should yeah, and we're not honest
Starting point is 00:40:37 But also I also when I'm saying no, it's not as if I don't know. I mean sometimes I really do think it's gonna happen Say when somebody goes I'll go three weeks and I want to make it happen, right? It's either number one. I forget Right, you gotta find a new way. Yeah, or yeah, so come up with it now. What's the nice way of saying you need to have to Hey, you should message my blah blah blah He usually does that with me and they'll see if they you fit. Let's do a role play. You're some guy come up to me Hey, yo, Bobby. Yo, I love your podcast. Hey, natron. What's up, natron?
Starting point is 00:41:11 Okay, all right, so no, um, yeah, let's do it again. Okay ready. They try Damn, he's my old friend. Don't they try. I love that. Hung souge. Listen I don't know. I bet you have your fucking name. Shut up. I don't want to be hung. So ryan's always changing a fucking name Yeah, yeah, so park or start it start again. All right, ready? Yeah, yo, bobby. What's up, jimmy? Hey Hey Yeah, okay, jimmy Can I get a better name? Let's do it again. All right, jimmy natron. Let's get rid of that. Okay, ready?
Starting point is 00:41:44 I'm the jimmy natron. All right, go go go ahead jimmy natron or neutral. Go ahead. Go ahead. All right, ready? Hey, bobby. Hey, vlad. Okay. Yeah. Yeah Okay, I'll take vlad. Yeah, yo, so, uh, man, I heard your podcast is is fire, man And everyone likes it. I really if I would love to be on it sometime I don't know. I'm sure it's you have a big schedule. I don't you're not you're not big enough Okay, damn. Yeah, you're not big enough. So you got to be a certain level level. Okay. That's cool. Thanks. But hey, fucker See, that's what that doesn't sound right. You're not big enough. Okay. He's like this. All right No, you can't there's no way to reject switch it switch it give him the opportunity
Starting point is 00:42:25 I'm gonna be joining his podcast. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? Hey, jimmy punk suit So what's up bob? What's up bobby robert? What's up, man? What's up? Hey, it's so um, oh god What's up? I was on youtube and I was you know, I have something to suggest suggest things for me Yeah, and I was like, oh shit god-free podcast. You're getting a million views a fucking yeah, man. It's cool Yeah, man. It's like hey dude. It's like I need help man. You think I can I don't know if you it would be right for you. My podcast is it has a certain demographic I don't know if you would be like
Starting point is 00:43:04 It's that certain demographic really because you just had you hit kevin shay on dr. Ken. Yeah, his style is a little different Yeah, and you had Yeah, oh there are styles or yeah, it's a little different man. I don't know. It's not it does I don't know if it yours. You know what I mean? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable Yeah, he's like like kevin shay felt comfortable. It's comfortable, man. You know, I mean kevin shay is like old jazz dude She has a little like yeah, yeah He looks like he hung around a lot of guys like myself and right you I don't know and I'm more like new age music
Starting point is 00:43:34 Sort of like yanni type. Yeah. Yeah. You got the yanni hair Yeah, that's not my demographic. Okay, you know, but we'll think about it though. Maybe maybe I'm not sure you'll be comfortable with that Yeah, just okay. Well, all right there. Peace. No, oh I'm gonna come up. No when I was oh, yeah That feels way worse Because I know you're lying If if I know you have had certain guys on your show that I know that you know what you just have to yeah It's fucked up. I know you gotta go
Starting point is 00:44:04 Yeah, I think that's possible and then just walk off because you can't see there's no way It's like trying to tell somebody they're fat. It's just no there's no No, there's no good way. I think my way is the better just say yes Yeah, I just say yeah, I think I think my way just say yeah and hope you don't see him. Yeah. Yeah Bobby with that. I was they over there Yeah, I said yeah to him three weeks ago because I love having because you know in the parking lot at the comedy store I've been beat up. Have you? I've been literally beat up. Oh Ari Ari Ari Shafir beats you up three times
Starting point is 00:44:37 And shit on his car too. I get on my car Wait, he doodooed on your car. Yeah. Yeah. He did it on my car defecation. Yeah on your car He put poo in the handle and then when I got in the car I poo all over my fingers I had a little speck of poo on the window. I know Ari's crazy So then I put the fucking windshield wipers But he put three poos on the windshield things and it smeared all over the fuck. I bet if I ask if we go like this Yeah, I did it Yeah, I fucking I fucking hate it. He did it. Yeah, I did it. He did it
Starting point is 00:45:07 What the fuck? Well, um, that's Ari Ari. Yes, I've had Yeah, yeah No, he's been a fucking dick I can see Ari Ari, you know, he's lives in new york and I know he's I'm the reason why he moved because he said I don't know what should I do should I move here and People say I'll get better. I go. Yeah, you will it's more stage time here. Yeah. Yeah, people's I think I'm gonna do that Yeah, come remove That's so him. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:45:37 Are you friends with the young cats in there? Yeah, how about Chris D? You friends with them? Chris DiStefano? Yeah, of course. I fucking love love him that Chris is oh fucking funny because we always do the Italian. Hey, fuck Chris Well, you don't yeah, they out the fuck. Yeah, you kidding me right now. Yeah, he's one joke. Oh my god I keep I keep making them. What about um mark norman your friends with them Hey pick it up Mark's my man mark fucking me too. He watches my stuff. I love mark norman Um, what about a little andy? Andy Schultz and of course and he's the rebel man and he really changed the game. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:46:10 Love Andy. He's here this weekend. He said to come hang out. Maybe I will I don't know Andrew's my man Andrew Schultz is great. Andrew Schultz. Um all the guy all the good guys all the dudes I fuck with are Yeah, Andrew Schultz because I want to say this I you know when I come when it comes to comedy, you know, because I'm still in the in the mix of it Yeah, you've been doing You know, I have my I have my thing, you know Yeah, and um, but I have to say dude the new york scene right now in terms of just Comedy you guys have some hard hitters. I think yeah, you guys over del rey's down there
Starting point is 00:46:42 Who is del rey the other guy that does the jam that jam that music comedy show? Yeah, yeah, josh miers. He's josh He moved to new york. He used to be our neighbor. Yeah, he moved to new york. Um del rey's been in new york I just did shows with him last week Um, yeah, there's a lot of I'm in new york sunday here. Let me so you have a girlfriend now I date out. I get what is what with you? It's like I But I've been single for four or five years. I know but when I hear about godfrey, you know me on the streets On the la street on the sidewalks. I never I never hear like oh godfrey's dating this person or he He's engaged or he's got a girlfriend. I mean you said your ex was a math genius. Oh man. Shit. Yeah
Starting point is 00:47:21 She's a math genius rutgers university rutgers business school top of her class Wow, she traded for deutcha bank and then she worked for bar clay and then private equity Then she stopped and she's creating her own business. We're still like best friends, but she's math genius like literally It's like she she uses applied calculus now in what she does So she's like really it's disgusting like it's she's that smart. She reads two books a day that kind Yeah, that's right. So you're I could see black chick. I don't I can see it And but you know you should talk to someone that intelligent. It's great because I'm not that stupid No, you're a real smart guy, but math. She it's like damn. What I have to say. I wasn't that great
Starting point is 00:48:03 You're the brightest guy. I think I've ever met maybe what maybe this podcast even in this podcast. I think Are you serious? We got some bright guys. Yeah, of course. You got bright guys a lot of bright people It's just also in terms of the Portuguese Manowar really got me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, really the colony. Damn it go When your intelligence fuck with David Attenborough When your intelligence seeps into marine life, that's really impressive for me It's like this. It's David Attenborough plot planets earth I I've been listening to David Attenborough in since sophomore year in high school. We were I was watching Attenborough We were in for biology. So that's old school for me. Yeah, I think if we were to ever pass that would destroy me
Starting point is 00:48:41 He's 97. That voice has been in my head. He's about 90s Attenborough is about what is he now? Look it up man. Let's look it up. But who could that's that's Richard Attenborough's brother But if he dies, who could who could replace him? Um, there's another British old British dude. No, why does it have to be what can it be young like but But that's Attenborough 95 He's 95 and he's still energetic and yeah Um, uh, Ben Benedict did a couple. Yeah. Good Cumberbatch. Cumberbatch does like a lot of voiceovers too. I like you and McGregor's voice Yeah, but anybody British it's always good when they
Starting point is 00:49:16 Fucking narrate because it's makes it legit. But what I would mix it up. You know who I would hire an American Theovon That penguin Harvey should be Is that a penguin? I don't want no damn penguin. I don't know how the hell No, they stay in the cold because that cold as hell there That's a penguin that there is a turkey
Starting point is 00:49:43 Number one bird. Yeah, that's what he looks like. Yeah, David Attenborough I've never knew what he looked like as you can see the goat and yeah, that's he's fucking I remember his series. He did an episode with bats and he was hanging upside down with the bat He's crazy. No, he's like this as you can see I'm upside down No Yeah, it was it was in a cave with the bats and below was all the fecal matter Down was of the bat shitting. Yeah shitting. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. He's nuts, dude Are you gonna try to find it? No, no, we know we saw remember we went to swim in that bat cave or that cave
Starting point is 00:50:21 Is that what we saw on the rocks of fecal matter might have been Or was it bugs? So here's what's gross about caves. It's very pretty in the water when you dive them We were down there. Yeah, but the bat shit and the roaches eat them So anytime you grab onto a rock while you're swimming if you look at your hand. Yeah There he is. Yeah. Yeah. I told you I told you This is lovely. Give a fuck. Oh the blood rushing to my head
Starting point is 00:50:46 Welcome to planet Earth So the rocks had had cockroaches on it eating it. Yeah, but that's that's just it was that symbiotic almost It's like just the way nature works. Boom. I like that Uh, there's mute, you know, there's mutualism. Yeah, I said, but you know, I wish that had commensalism Yeah, there's commensal. There's different like relationships that animals have You know, that that had parasitic one one benefits. Not the other one. I want to talk to Yeah, yeah, I want to talk to you Go ahead
Starting point is 00:51:18 Great question. A meat-eater is a carnivore. Okay, and then a plant-eater is a vegeter And that's the pokemon What about one that eats both No, kind of veggie Carnivore I don't know. Well, omnivore is vegetarian. Yeah, omnivore. Omni is everybody. Yeah, everything Omni present. Omni. But I feel like if you're an animal in Africa, though, I'd rather be herbah Because herbah, right, you don't have to fucking, you know, I mean
Starting point is 00:51:57 Constantly chase and yeah, and you know, you see sometimes you see some of those live wide live And there's always like, you know, one animal, you know, like a honey badger. He's just been walking around for days But honey badgers are bad at it, but sometimes you walk around for days. They're like, where is the food? Right? Whereas giraffes is like, it's Right there the trees. Yeah, but you're just designed and everyone's designed differently How do they get protein giraffes from those little leaves? That's what they're, that's that that they do, man But the good thing about the giraffe doesn't sit up there and hate on the lion for eating meat like these fucking vegetarians
Starting point is 00:52:32 It doesn't go, yo, man, you eating meat Eat Lions like boom, this is a great organics. It's gonna get yeah untouched man. I never thought about that exactly the draft doesn't go Yo, yo, you need to get with now. Yeah. They mind their fucking business like you vegetarian and vegans need to do Mind your fucking business. Sorry. Terrianism is fine. As long as the food is good. I don't eat anything I don't give a shit, but don't go me. Did you see the documentary? Yeah, I saw it everybody saw a documentary like all of a sudden they're experts. How about impossible meat? How nasty is that shit? I like it. I don't eat you like it. I like the beyond sauce. First of all
Starting point is 00:53:11 You're talking about meat having all this stuff pumped in it. What do you think that shit? Yeah? No, you're right Thank you factory. What do you mean? And then when I see what do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? No, they'll say look at all the the drugs and all the shit they put in like regularly I say I get that first of all. I spend money on real organic shit. I I spend money on real shit You know because I look for it and my ex-girlfriend who's fantastic at digging out dope shit She'll be like, let's buy this kind of meat. I go cool, you know and um But that stuff that you're eating the fake meat you have to pump it with a lot of shit to make it taste like meat You should just eat fucking meat and quit being cheap. Oh, there's probably like, um, there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:53:50 Well, no matter what it's processed. It has to be processed. First of all, why first of all when I see a chunky vegetarian I go, what's going on here? I like why are you chunky? How about beyond burger? I don't fuck that. I'll just take the burger I'm not going to be also though. Oh too much tofu and a lot of soy products give you bitch tits estrogen I don't want it. I know it does give you bitch tits. So I asked my own fuck with soy, but none of that You get you bitch tits, man I don't want no bitch. I want to get some bitch tits naturally God, for how old are you now 75? No, how old are you really? Are we the same age?
Starting point is 00:54:22 Probably next month. I'm 50. I'm 50. I beat you. Are you already 50? Oh, we're the same age though, right? You're still 50. Yeah, so we're the same age 70 1970 you were born Yep. Wow. How you don't look 50 at all. You're the first person who looks younger than him So it's his name age. You've always looked younger than people. Yeah. Yeah, he looks younger than you. Yeah No, he absolutely looks younger than you. I promise. Sorry, Bobby But you look good. No, you look you don't look 50. So no, no, he Fuck you man. What are you talking about? Honestly, he does. Do you think you look younger than I? Yes. I think so. I think you look young though. That's fucking impossible
Starting point is 00:55:01 Yeah, it's not I do what so people think you're what 30? Why do you think I mean girls that 20 something always like Yeah, yeah, I mean Yeah So, why do you think that is? I think it's just I don't know. We'll black don't crack first. Yeah, black really don't crack babe. Well, you have melanin is very good Yeah, see these people are saying melanin is bad. That's some suck of shit. It's really great Yeah, but like Ian Edwards is our age, right? Yes, right? He looks crickety
Starting point is 00:55:33 He's like, is that is that holy shit? Is that is that right? Well, I was on bobby lee's podcast Shit, Bobby lee got a lot of fucking nerve Fuck and that's some angry. That's him upset. Bobby lee looks like an old asian woman Yeah, but he's there's something crickety about him, right? That there's no he's a he's a vegan vegan. Yeah, but there's something about you're just very like the way he walks It's a very quick. Is that how he walks? Yeah, but you but everybody walks like that every time you No, you're gonna walk. It's the same. No, but you flow. You know what I'm saying? I flow the way you walk is it's more of a
Starting point is 00:56:10 Why is it always a jelly? Jelly like a jelly jelly walk. It's a hard walk. Hey, what's going on? I flow So when you go to you doing the punchline or cobs, I'm doing cobs comedy club Um, you guys is this playing today? Is this gonna be no next week? Damn? Well, I'll be in uh, so What date is this? When does this podcast come up next wednesday next wednesday next wednesday is what date is that the next wednesday that is going to be 25th well the 26th through the 29th. I'm in Huntsville, Alabama at stand-up live
Starting point is 00:56:46 That's my first time in Huntsville, Alabama. Wow stand-up live and then september Uh third through the fifth. I'm at the Philly punchline, which is awesome philadelphia punchline Go ahead live nation philadelphia punchline september third through the fifth Kick ass and september ninth through the eleventh is sacramental punchline Like that one. Yeah, it's an awesome room That's it's just it's a weird one to fill because they it's a weird demographic It's also a weird place. It's there's a mattress store mattress store The bed the mattress hit shit and then and then it finally got a better sign because it's
Starting point is 00:57:21 Intrigued you wouldn't even know it was there if you didn't know it's fucked up It's pretty fucked up where it's but that room is awesome And and the hotel is right across the street right across the street residence in residence. Yeah, it's weird It's a very do you remember they had the upstairs downstairs thing and right there used to be those movie theater domes They look like big-ass egg shows. All right, but they re knocked it down. It's a beautiful theater now It used to be very it's very strange. Oh, but it feels like the road when you're there It's so weird over there. Yeah, and there's a lot of like there's a walk reads where there's heroin addicts I can't even get gum because there's a heroin act going. Yeah, man
Starting point is 00:57:58 Yeah, I'm just coming here for fucking gum, man. Do you ever play Bart reeds uh comic strip in El Paso? No, what the fuck is that? No Bart reeds Bart reeds comedy comic strip. Is it nice? It's enough. No, it's right across the street from Juarez It's one of my favorite rooms. You got to play is it really awesome. It's it's weird because it's like At you know the second show on a friday. It's when the like the hispanic vampires come out No, but you have the eyeliner You have the eyeliner and that like there's a dragon or something on their shirts, right? And they have black your fingernail Oh, it's like
Starting point is 00:58:39 What it's like god Like the guy prayers. Yeah, I love those guys. Oh, they have the god. Yeah, I don't hug them But I I stood I used to I used to Mexican comedy night on monday's at the laugh factory with joy medina I love him right and I used to benny menna's too They I used to all the mexican shit. I did I did the korea one with pk Oh, oh, that's right. And then he didn't have enough korea comics. So he'd add leather guys He's like godfrey, man. I need you to come through. Did you ever live here? Yes, seven years man. I was on wilshire and plimoth, man. Oh for seven years lived here back and forth
Starting point is 00:59:12 I was back and forth. All right, and I was like, fuck it. What am I doing? You can do everything in new york It doesn't matter now You can live in mississippi and zoom and the pandemic really changed the game. Yeah now people are like now Let's keep it like this Yeah, it's kind of cool when you can audition and I have to actually go find a casting office Kind of nice. You can just put it up. Good last night. I put one in I just emailed it. Oh, it's sweet. I didn't have to fucking find parking and find go to a gate Sometimes it's a gate. Oh, it's a gate. We don't have you on that. We don't have
Starting point is 00:59:42 Securities like this. Good luck All right Yeah, yeah And then when you're walking Everybody else, right? I've seen actor tear up their sides. Yeah And you got to walk on radford. Yeah. Yeah, and then you got to see other people with Shows with their fucking posters like You're walking past in some bungalow. Yeah with some casting ready to give a fuck is like this. Hey, what's up?
Starting point is 01:00:08 Okay, yo, uh, are you ready? All right, let's go. Yeah You're like, hey, you might want to pay attention. Huh? Oh, are then some other actor comes in. What's up, bro? Man? Oh, man, how you been? You're like I'm so happy to not have to experience that. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It's almost an even playing field Whoever has the best fucking living room is gonna get this How about how about that motherfucker? Yeah, I like that. I like that. I can audition by myself Do it over and over and whoever if I get it. I get it. I don't I don't I don't feel bad
Starting point is 01:00:41 I was in a room with 18 dudes that look like me. Yeah, I'm like shit. No, you got to play play like, yo, what's up? Yo, what's good? All right. Let me sign here. What do I sign? You know what? Oh, you're just like this motherfucker Then you're looking on the list. Oh, no, Bobby Lee was here. Oh, all right. I'm reading for this and then also I hit time Oh, oh, you know what? I was time ditto Yeah, I whatever the time was before me. I don't give a fuck. You know what? Oh my god. Yeah, this show Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the worst. Yeah. I hate open ethnicities. I go. Oh, it's going white Oh, right because they go. Well, we tried everyone. Yeah, we did our best But we had to go with you know open ethnicities. Let's say black
Starting point is 01:01:25 six feet black But that's But they used to do that with descriptions They used to always make the and I'm not even bullshitting you they used to always make the white characters beautiful even if they were old 60s, but yet handsome still Still 90s, but very handsome for a 90 year old. Yeah, very oldly elderly handsome Yeah, and if it was a black or Asian be like brash Um, very witty. It was never like good-looking very very rarely
Starting point is 01:01:58 They used to do this shit all the time and finally they'll go black handsome African. It used to never be that Yeah, it was like no sexuality. No nothing white guy was like amazing sexually attractive his pheromones wreaking off his body It was it was it was amazing like Like you literally saw that shit. It was fucked up like well I when I was on splitting up together. I had a scene where I was laying next to Lindsay my wife And she's a pretty you know half Asian woman And we were laying there and I was too close
Starting point is 01:02:32 And they're like hey, hey too close. What yeah, and they separate us a little bit. You know the fuck out and I'm like That's my white little what the fuck That's why I went crazy rich Asians I went to see it to support Ronnie chan because that's my dude. Yeah, I fucking love Ronnie chan I love Guthrie Guthrie. Listen. Listen. I want you to go Australia. I told the guys. I want you to go Australia But I I I they asked me will Guthrie come to Australia. I go. Yeah, but I don't think he's gonna do it Because you're gonna bullshit. You're not gonna go. It's not gonna fucking go. It's run the australian. Yeah, he's Malay He's Malay has a show in australia. That's right. Yeah, he just does a lot of shows out there
Starting point is 01:03:08 And he goes because I fuck with Ronnie hard. He's gonna say guffrey I want you to go. You're one of my favorite. I want you to go to australia They'll fucking love you man. I'll fucking love you. He's a egg. I love his anger. He's a nice guy. It's so nice Yeah, he got when I was at Montreal. I never met him before. Yeah, and a lot the last Montreal and I um He went into an elevator and I was just kind of in the hallway. Yeah, and he saw me He came out of the while the doors was closing just to you know, meet me. That's so what a nice guy He's really that nice and he's I mean and when I want I went to see it because of him And I wanted to see it and I was just like, yeah, they were like the movie was so good
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's just a regular movie. It was just Asians being normal not there were no subtitles You know, because most of the times you Asians come with subtitles and it's serious It's a comedy It's fucking enough already. Yeah. Yeah Asians fuck. They fuck. They look good. We look good They have they they have good-looking men. They fuck. They're the most on the planet. They're fucking the most Stop even Richard Pryor said that, you know, there's a lot of Chinese motherfuckers out there jack Chinese people fuck quick Right that was in the 70. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like Asians are everywhere. They're fucking guys. Yeah
Starting point is 01:04:34 They know how to dress they look good that movie was just a regular fucking movie But it was like but you don't see them in that because they had the dude the lead guy Good-looking dude. They had him in a shirt. His shirt was off. He was I said, yeah, what's wrong with that? Yeah, what it's because it's the it's the it's the it's the power changing honestly if you you and I got cast in like a uh, David Fincher movie like a big movie, right? I would love we need to And we're lovers in it wait Just listen what I'm saying fast forward pause go ahead. Just listen what I'm saying dude, right?
Starting point is 01:05:11 All right, Bobby and pause go ahead Fincher's like yo, uh High artistic integrity. Yeah, he goes. We just make gotta make it real You know what I mean? We gotta make it real right because we're this is wide Right, so, you know, we can't put the body double. So you guys know I need a body double man. No, no, no No, just listen to what I'm saying a lot of oscar chatter a lot of Oscar chatter, so you and I have to be completely naked and yellow black and yellow And we have to we have to be making out on a bed. Would you do it? No? Yeah, you would no, I wouldn't I think you would I know why no, it's it's acting. No, it's not you try to
Starting point is 01:05:48 You'll try to actually fuck. Yeah, you try to stick your shit I would like to stick my dick inside here. I'm up here grab it. It's course. It's course. These are close-ups, man Yeah, no, you wouldn't do it. No And it's not it's not homophobia by the way guys, so I don't want anybody going You know that you know a lot of times some of my gay friends like to throw out homophobia And I'll tell them I go sometimes you say homophobia and it's not Yeah, you just throw it out there because you guys have this power of complaining and I go And and and I have this this bit that I do and I do it in front of my giver
Starting point is 01:06:23 I go yo You're the gays now you guys aren't as cool as our gays our gays were better than your gays Yeah, because our gays we had elton john queen. We had all the and you guys you guys don't even make music you bitch, but you don't make you Briar you complain and you don't make any music you have no songs We have elton john's anthology. We have queen. We got the coldest shit. We even have ymca We had an indian a construction You guys bitch about everything and then you know you fuck with the pronouns, but you got no music right You call me he they they where's the song
Starting point is 01:06:56 About that Wow, there's a song. Yeah. Yeah. No beats. No tracks. No nothing. Yeah, but you bitch about never thought of it that way Yeah, so that's my way of and and I'm not homophobic none. I grew up in voice town in chicago Gays were always around me. You know, it was it was it was immigrants. It was all that I I support Some of my you know the friends that are performers. I support transient. I know them all I don't like bullying in any kind of way But I don't do gay scenes. Yeah, I don't do them. I just that's just me. I just don't feel comfortable doing it But I give it to what I listen Sweetie, that's a good point because there are a lot of women who don't do scenes at all right nude scenes
Starting point is 01:07:35 New scenes are with another woman. Yeah, I I promise you this what okay? I would go into his dressing room. Who's gone for you. Okay, and I would have tears in my eyes Why because it's like we could have went oscar No, no, no, no, no, just listen. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm gonna get an NAACP award I'm gonna stick with the black or all my award Godry, but you know, you we do your dog. We're not gay. I know what just be acting and not I'm not that good of an actor I'll stick with action films. All right. I'll get crickety Ian Edwards in that then Oh, so you would you would do you would do what you would do would you do it? Oh, yeah
Starting point is 01:08:17 Yeah, that's cool. Well, you're comfortable. I know it's like, you know when burt creischer did the cabin and he got completely naked late on the rug I have no RIP. No, no. Yeah, right next to him. You would just you would you would you And if on that rug burgos, it'd be funny if you kissed me right now And we do this. Well, why dudes do that though even in football in miles of football team They pull the underwear up your ass and twist your nipples. Yeah, they always prepared themselves. Yeah. Yeah They'd be like this. Yo nipple twister
Starting point is 01:08:46 Always like, yo, you don't know about the the bag sacker. What's that? They pull your sack. Well, I put it in my mouth Oh, come on Wrote him scratch. Come on, bro. What's that? Yeah. Yeah It's always something that has to do with your genitalia or your well when I was on the body fluid when I was on the road with Pauly we would be in the tour boss Hey, buddy, and he would I would wake up in that, you know, you have you He had the main cabin in the back. Yeah, but we had the side right and I wake up And his
Starting point is 01:09:14 His penis would be on my forehead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He'd be like, hey, bud Dude, dude, I didn't mean to uh, like I would take it if that if somebody falls on your forehead I'm sorry, bro. If somebody did that to you, what would you do? Have a Try to hit him in the face. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, you're opening Put it. No, put a dick on my foot You wouldn't react. There's just a dick on your forehead. A dick on your forehead a girl a girl a girl would smack the shit I just put a dick on her forehead. I woke up
Starting point is 01:09:47 And I look like this and I went and went right back to sleep. Oh, it's comforting. Oh, it was comforting. Yeah. Yeah Yeah No, I didn't I just left it so a dick just a dick on your forehead makes you fall asleep Did you start your dreams up at the end? We have this thing called unhelpful advice Godfrey. Yes We could go on for five hours by the way. I know it's okay. Am I invited back? Yeah Wait, okay. Don't be phony Okay, when do you bring people back because I know you have to give it some time When do you bring people back to your podcast? Okay?
Starting point is 01:10:18 Because you got to rotate them where it's not like too much, right? But if you've been on once there's you can it's much easier because that's I think once you get in one time It's much easier, right? But it's like they sometimes they may you might like not that I didn't like that episode a coming back. You know, it could be that sometimes No, but I know that this is not going to be one of those. Okay. Yeah, you can tell when it's one of those I don't have a problem saying no, so you can ask me Am I coming back? Yes Of course, dude, I mean, you're one of my favorite people. No, you and I have a certain thing
Starting point is 01:10:51 Let me tell you what you did one time. I talked about this shit Okay, I said one time we were at you know, we were at you know, what's it? Is it universal or that we were just in that area? It was that we're all the you know in universal you walking around The city was city walk, right? City walk. Yeah. Yeah. And is there a club over there? Yeah, the john loves us. We're it's john love. It's club. Yeah, and you were hugging me like And then he you said gaffey watch this and you started running and you said am I getting smaller? Am I getting smaller? He kept going like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the funniest shit
Starting point is 01:11:26 Yeah, and he ran away with his pants. He's just like running and he's like am I smaller? Yeah, he just kept going farther away Towards the AMC. I was dying. Yeah, I do stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Back then. Oh, funny. Yeah, because I mean that was like Our relationship with that Hawaiian thing must have been 20 years ago You were yeah, you learned how to you were trying to learn how to serve and I did too and your back was red I was there. I had gone to Honolulu like three times Out with john. He was working with the laugh factory. That's right. They had the laugh factory hawaii But it's hard to add. I love john. That's what it was john
Starting point is 01:12:00 And he went to obama's high school because he's right on tour to punahow It was the laugh factor that we were there for yeah, it was the laugh factor and it was in that little hotel You would think that that would be a no brainer. Yes. I know that that would stay there forever But they didn't let them advertise because it's against the laws to have signs protruding. It's a hawaiian thing. It's weird. Yeah I was like, what? I mean if somebody opened up because I've been going there like don't they have that blue note That's yeah, but that's jazz. It's a jazz club. Oh, it's not just it's not comedy But it's weird if we opened up a club It was just a small like 200 seats. Yeah a small club. That'd be sweet
Starting point is 01:12:38 I feel like that that would last forever forever. There's so many people Yeah, that want that need it that we get a deal with the club even like I feel like I could even get Heavyweights like koi like joe koi to just do a weekend for me Yeah, but he does the whole arena. It doesn't matter. He would do a weekend for me. I think he would do that He would do a weekend for me. He would do that. You know, I could get so many people to do and it's hawaii And that's his demographic. Are you fucking? Yes, you're this roof. You want to open up a tiger belly comedy club there Tiger belly would be five 100 seats ask phil No, like 150 seats. That's perfect. The tiger belly comedy club would be fire as fuck with the stress though. Oh, no, there's
Starting point is 01:13:15 Constellations and it's like, oh, you're already already all the resentments Hey, can I do your club? Yeah But no, that wouldn't be on you. You'd be like talk to my booker Talk to the booker. That's where you you don't have to have anything to do with that Right. Well, that's what I've been giving george people's number. Yeah, people contacted you Oh, don't reveal that. Okay. Yeah. I I said I said I'm doing bobby lee's joy. They were like, yo, that's dope I say I didn't know what bobby lee's number was going to be the same. I always know I was cool with bobby I mean, I've done marins twice
Starting point is 01:13:47 I haven't never done joe rogan's though. Everyone's like, why aren't you doing rogan's like a rogan doesn't really know me like that I feel like you'd be perfect, but rogan doesn't really know me. I did christ. I just did um tom seguras Oh, it's great. I love I did too bad. I did two bears and we spoke spanish at the beginning Yeah, I I studied spanish in high school and college. Okay, and it wasn't too bad. It wasn't you you bothered the shit out of me I know this I know that I just not I know this It's part of our motherfucking life. All right, do the unhelpful advice. I'm tired of your fucking jabbery Can I tell you why I know a lot of shit? I actually want to know my father was an educator for 45 years in chicago
Starting point is 01:14:24 And nigerians have the highest degrees in science and math in the world and in in america We have the highest degrees the the the um the highest paid robotics engineers nigerian in the world The only double doctor in the world is nigerian. I mean the chess champion eight years old is nigerian Adesanya, the nigerian also usman usman is those are all the mma champions of nigerian Those are my buddies is real nose guys. Oh, no, also, um The highest like I think there was some kid that got the highest fucking grade point They he broke the ceiling of grade point averages in high school nigerian. I'm just saying What we are parents train us. We don't know a lot of we've never ripped on nigerians
Starting point is 01:15:06 I have a fun fact about the boys that they were legit when I first came here from the philippines My family was adopted by a nigerian church. I didn't even know that you see this shit. This is bad. He's so bad He's so bad brother senor Brother neyamaya. We were just in Niger all this nigerian and in fact the reason that my sister and I here is because that nigerian church The nigerian church bought our plane ticket here You see that the nigerians we helped them to bring your girlfriend here Never have met. I if it wasn't for nigerians. I she's I'm not gonna be in a scene with you
Starting point is 01:15:45 I'm very heterosexual See my listen, I know my my look to you doing that tongue thing going like this. That's a heterosexual going Oh, you don't know that's not homophobia. I don't know. I don't like if a girl does that I go Yeah, dude, we're not heterosexual. I know for a fact when I'm doing this There's a little comb coming out of your pp. Go ahead do the unhelpful advice. That's the transition. Yeah Like the way it came out Like a stroke Like
Starting point is 01:16:15 At the end people email us, right? Problems what you just said, all right, right? Yeah, the email is problems What do you email? There's fans that email us. Okay. It's called unhelpful device and people want our advice You can help them or not. All right. Good and we're doing it. We can shit on them. You can do whatever you want Whoa, I love helpful advice with bobby kalayla and godfrey Uh, did you just do that? Yeah, no you didn't. He's from second city dog again. Yeah Godfrey godfrey. Oh godfrey. Oh godfrey. Uh, just wanted to see I grew up in a tribal town in oklahoma
Starting point is 01:16:50 And I was glad to see one of my favorite podcasters in reservation dogs I'm currently in the united states air force and I've been in it for about five years I'm 23 years old and I just don't know what the hell I want to do with my life How do you know when you found the thing you want to do the rest of your life? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My name is tyler. How do you know when you find him out? It's funny. He says he's 23 because um That was the age I started doing stand-up Maybe you do 22 23 right and it's one of those times where it's like
Starting point is 01:17:23 In my from 18 to 23 I would look I was same space that he was in you look around in the world and you see people like They own houses and real estate and cars and things and I got shit nothing Right, but I have no like skill set or whatever, right? Yeah, and what I did was I just kind of like You know, I don't believe in God, but I was like kind of like do I would do these prayers like inside myself Yeah, find me. Please give me the direction or or a light and I Walked by a comedy club and it said help wanted on it at the comedy store in loho. That's god, man Yeah, and I just went
Starting point is 01:17:59 I just knocked on the door and go can I have a job here? And they're like you wash dishes. I wash dishes and then I started to open mics. My point though is is that like I just feel like if you're searching and you're in them, you know, I mean and your heart is open You actually there's this law of attraction almost what you did. That's right That's right, baby. No, no It's like I don't care. I just drive it's it's heterosexual force field. No, all right You can't penetrate you can't penetrate that buddy I can't you'll try I can and I will that is disgusting
Starting point is 01:18:35 So what's your what is your advice? You didn't ding that How about ding ding ding? Hey, go find your fucking life you piece of Fucking pilot get a new name. How about that? No, he's in the air force, right? He's he's done with the air force military Yes, he's done. It's one of those things. He's done with the military. He's 23. He's in oklahoma. Yep And how do I know it's you know, you just because comedy is like I had it when I Tommy Davidson came to my college I was like I think that's what I want to do because in college. You're a fake adult, you know You're a fake adult and I was a pre-med psych major and I'm like
Starting point is 01:19:11 You know a psychiatry or this and my parents were of course mad I said, I think I want to do comedy because I was I was so outspoken a lot of shit made me mad And that's what comedy comes from a lot of anger. How funny was it? Tommy Davidson by the way? My fucking unreal unreal and I said I think I want to do that. I showed Tommy Davidson around my campus You know, I remember that and then You know A couple years later some years later I'm doing my first comedy central thing my premium blend and it's Tommy Davidson's hosting it. Wow
Starting point is 01:19:39 It was and he goes I remember you you showed me around your campus. I was like, holy fuck It was the weirdest shit. Wow, but you just got to do what you I don't know because I mean, what does he like to do? What do you really think about a lot? Does he does he want to be a musician? Does he want to be? This is not serious. Just give him a fucking answer Was there something before comedy that you thought was the thing? No, sports. You know, I thought I you know, I was like medicine and shit. Give us another one. You have another one You have another one. Give us a man. Just fucking do drugs. It's okay
Starting point is 01:20:10 I have road rage the Korean rage comes out and I need to scream at people Uh when they fuck up living in downtown Seattle There's a lot of stupid fucking people who run across the road or don't know how to drive in a city Nice, I love every time I start yelling my girlfriend gets angry and says it's no longer satisfying to yell at people anymore She's afraid someone will shoot me. But hey, I carry too. Nice. And I'm a six foot 230 pound Korean guy. Yeah Bulgogi, but now it feels like I have road rage blue balls Do I just lose a year of my life holding it in or lit it out and get yelled at by her and deal with it What should I do got a free bobbing club? I love that
Starting point is 01:20:48 230 pound Korean It's fucking dope. Like you don't see that a lot. You want to go first ding dong? Yeah, because I have road rage and road rage is passion for driving I love I love the framing of that. Is that what it is? It's passion. Wow because you are Because it's like like when I played baseball. I was in dragon field football Okay, and my I had hardcore coaches and I was a shortstop and I remember my mr. Parano and you know when you're fielding a ground by remember I missed a ground ball He goes you gotta put your body in front of the fucking ball. Boom because it scored a run
Starting point is 01:21:23 He has passion for baseball That's why he's screaming at me. He wants me to be better right now That person road rage is not a disease It's a reaction to somebody doing fuck shit On the fucking road. I had one of the hardest fucking drivers at teachers in Chicago My high school was the biggest high school in Chicago. It's called lane technical high school We had a driving range on our high school 5000 kids. Oh, it's a college prep high school
Starting point is 01:21:50 And it was badass It was going it was number one against michelle obama's high school. So academically in sports. So boom, so My my teacher mr. Jerzak He was an old dude about to retire didn't like his wife was happy to get out the house six foot three Was our driver's ed teacher and he used profanity. That's the best teachers in the world And he used to go Listen, god damn it. This is a goddamn vehicle. It's a fucking machine. Have you ever heard of vehicular manslaughter?
Starting point is 01:22:20 Guess what? It's a fucking weapon on wheels. They're like, that's how he opens the wow So you got to understand when you're driving you got to be defensive You're not the only fucking person on the street. He that was mr. Jerzak. He had a home over he'd go god damn I'm gonna show you some slides. He was he would show us faces of death that move. Oh, no. No remember that Yeah, yeah show us car crashes. He goes. Look at this dumb bitch. She's fucking hanging out the window No goddamn seat belt standing operating procedure. Oh, yeah So road rage I dig it because I get mad when people don't know how to fucking drive Especially in los angeles and what's fucked up is you drive every day and you still can't get it right
Starting point is 01:23:03 I live in new york. I'm walking half the time and you can't fucking drive in la people But are you getting let me just connect I get upset when you don't know what the are you getting angry because I get angry because they're following the rules to a tee You know, it's like it's like this. I see the fucking speed limit. Yeah, there's no cops around. It's also two in the morning Yeah, right. You don't have to go 35 miles per hour. I know that's what it says you get at least 10 You can at least go 45. That's that's where my anger is. I don't yeah when you're going too slow You should get tickets for going too. Mother fucking slow, right slow tickets, man You should be rewarded when you speed, right? There are also rules, right? There's hidden rules, right?
Starting point is 01:23:45 Like for instance, you know when you're in traffic, right? Yes, and you're trying to veer off onto a freeway Right, just hear me out, right? And it's like and you're waiting in this long line and people on the left are trying to get in because they don't want to wait in the line, right when somebody lets somebody in I get Right, so it's like they're being nice and generous, right? Yeah, but I don't like it because it's a game, right? It doesn't get mad. There's a hidden rule, right? Yeah, right between us drivers Right, you don't let anyone in you don't let all kinds of people sometimes you're like, fuck it one
Starting point is 01:24:21 But I've seen people let a couple motherfuckers in oh Oh, and I wish I had it. I wish I had an indestructible car Where I could just smash into people when they do fuck shit I just go bang and my shit doesn't get affected. I go bang. I go. What are you doing? Bang move man. Don't let people in no what we need is a well We need a system where we can all talk to each other even strangers true. What are you doing, dude? Like that would be This is where it's gotta be an app where the Philippines reigns supreme everybody because over here. No one uses your horns, right?
Starting point is 01:24:55 It's only for absolute. Yeah. Yeah over there. Everyone talks in morse code. So it's They all know wow No one is yelling everyone is in a fucking gridlock traffic, but everyone knows where they're going There are no vehicular accidents. No one's done over. Yeah, that's all right nightmare, but everyone gets along But that's road rage. All right, Brian. You're there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. You have passion for driving And you must be a damn good driver So it's because to scream at somebody your shit better be tight Because I know when I when I make a mistake, which is rare road rangers rarely make mistakes
Starting point is 01:25:28 But when we do we are very apologetic on how we were very sorry You can tell by the way we drive like if I'm at an intersection and let's say the light is going It's a little long. It's like, oh, this is a long light And I let me check my phone because this light is unusually long and then you know How someone beeps because you haven't seen the light change someone goes boop boop. It's just like a beep beep It's not a beep beep. It's a beep beep and you go. Oh god. Damn it. It's a fucking rude what you're doing. What do you say? No, I'm trying to what's so rude. How do I stop it though? You don't know how an iphone works. You fucking idiot Because I was I was with um android for so long
Starting point is 01:26:04 All right, let me get my advice while you wait. No, no No, no, no, no, no, check your phone. Oh, you check your phone. I don't window. I don't window And you fucked up and I fucked it up Bobby Lee. Yep. That's Bobby Lee. That's the difference between you and him He never says he's sorry. He's never wrong Oh So that's what pisses me off. I'm like, that was your fucking bad. He's honking at you and then he flicks the motherfucker off I thought that was your bad. Yeah, fuck. See when when I when I take off I see the light change I take off. I go at I go very fast. That's my apology going
Starting point is 01:26:35 You know, I don't didn't know about this long light. So when I take off, it's like they go That's a good driver. He probably didn't know that light was so long by the way. He drove off You see, that's my apology the message is yeah, but if you drive off slow, that means you're a fucking driver No seat belt either. Have a shit face. No seat belt. Can I have my advice now? Go ahead you shit No fucking seat belt wearing motherfucker. How come you don't wear a seat belt? What that's him doing another accent Yeah, that's British Oi, oi, do it again. Do it again. All right. So again, Bobby lay
Starting point is 01:27:13 Bobby lay maybe do this my friend, right? It's life, right? It's not that big of a deal Being in just listen to me, right? It's like what I want because once sometimes when I rage out in the car I realize oh shit. Like I live in America, right? I have I make a great living Right life is too short. We're all the same species. You know, I mean, I don't know You know what they're, you know, maybe some guy fucked up on the road because you know, there's an emergency or whatever It might be. I don't know what the so maybe just be namaste. Namaste about it Be Steven Seagal and maybe this will teach you, right? That means you go and rip his arm. No, no, no, but But you know, I'm looking for Bobby Steven Seagal always says namaste
Starting point is 01:28:02 No, man. Yeah. Yeah. No, we know man namas go No, so what I'm saying is is that maybe like this is going to be a good thing for you to like maybe Learn to be passive and and to accept and be a part of the world and just let it slide That's bullshit. No, man. Because that moment you know, like what the fuck are you doing? Get a better person Nah, man, not when you're driving. Okay road rage is good. No. No, no, no, no. 230 pound Korean but let's do it bull. No Yeah, baby is too short. It's not that big of a deal. Hannah. Don't get set. No. Don't get I took I took Have keto for 10 years. Sorry because bro. Let's say you you what if you react from your And right and you actually hurt somebody. Oh, right. No, that's true. That's true. You're right, right?
Starting point is 01:28:45 So it's what I'm saying is is that my mind was was just nipping nip nip nipping in the book nip. Oh, no I think you should yell don't go fighting people, but you it's all right to yell in your car You know dude, I'm not gonna do a two-hour podcast with you. He's trying to break it right now. I'm not gonna I'm waiting for it to end. Let's go It's over follow me on Instagram Comedian Godfrey is my Instagram and my podcast is in Godfrey we trust on the gas digital network Yeah, do you have you have skanks man? Do you have gas do you have guests on yours? Yeah So if I'm ever in New York, man, you better come on my shit. That would be it's down in the lower east side in New York
Starting point is 01:29:27 That's my that's my new defense with him. What it makes it makes him so angry and I ain't good. Yeah, I bother disgusted Oh, what about this? Oh, that was wild. It's cheeks past cheeks. Oh, that's wild. Oh, I don't know what lock eyes with me Yeah, yeah, yeah Fucking creep. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you didn't know Oh, you know Bobby Lee, huh? You don't know you don't know oh my hajima He only does that with like what big men like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's like I get threatened You know small now. He's weak. Oh, he's weak. No, I mean you just pay to pay the personality is weak
Starting point is 01:30:17 He's like I don't appreciate you're a good guy and you're strong. I don't like that. I don't like that. There's balls in my mask So, um, you know Godfrey, yes Oh, obviously, you know, it's a no-brainer for having you on and when you it was perfect when you texted me It's like I just thought open. Oh, I'm so good. So happy I did it. You know, I was I was I was like hell Yeah, good to do Bobby. Yeah, so it's called Tiger Belly, but my point is is Tiger Belly Why are you why you call it Tiger Belly? I don't know like I had a white tiger ball No, I had a white friend. Okay, and I used to just one day. I just called him Tiger Belly and he laughed And that was it. Yeah, you said what's up Tiger Belly? And he was like, that's weird
Starting point is 01:31:00 And I would call them that for a decade and I thought it was like Tiger Bomb because it's no Love Tiger Bomb. Yeah, that's nothing to do with that. No good. I know Tiger Belly sounds very Asian. No, white flower Loak, I like your ankles man. Oh, thanks, dude Thanks, bro dope dope ankles bro. Yo like that shiny dog work on them shits cocoa butter. Is it cocoa? You know me. Yeah, is it cocoa? Is it cocoa? Anyway, it's a cocoa. Shea butter. Give him a round of applause. Oh Oh, yo, thank you for having me awesome Hey prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music Download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go
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