TigerBelly - Ep 322: Awkwafina & The Care Bear Inside
Episode Date: November 10, 2021Bobby's car has one bar. Nora takes our chairs. Jules needs keys to represent the family. We talk head and torso police detectives, Korean theatrics, dog magicians, and carport poops. Se...e Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Did you see me anybody see me open her fucking phone not while I was sitting here now?
Thank you so much, and that's why you and I should be detectives. That's a true
Yeah, I think that you and I would be honest with each other if we were detectives
I highly doubt that he is I would save information. I would save information for myself. So I want the glory
He also will flip it on you
Detective information that truth
It's it's yeah, you know way no what I if I okay if nor and I were lead detectives
I'll say give me the scenario you have early onset dementia
Give me the murder scenario and we're detectives. Give me the scenario. That's a cool show though a detective with dementia
Okay, here we go. You have a Jane Doe
Approximately 15 to 20 color Verna Veronica 15 to 20. Yeah 15 to 20 we think
Right, okay. What do you do dispatch? What are you doing?
We're in the car. We're getting the call
We're driving we're driving right what if we're on separate assignments, and you know, I don't want you want to be together. Oh
I call you late at night. No, no, no. So what this is what happens? You're the dispatcher, right?
So call me right we have a Jane Doe
Who's this I had to ask because I don't know I need the information she didn't present hers
Yeah, yeah out of nowhere. You're gonna say that we have a Jane Doe
I'm a cop, right? I just stumbled onto this body by the river. All right, my bad. Yeah, all right, so now I'm calling you
I'm calling you're calling me. All right, so you're on the body
I'm just just so you know
You're already a detective and you don't know who's calling you about a Jane Doe like you're not doing your job very well
He calls on your police phone
Oh, yeah, right you want to call you on your personal not only that Nora don't don't you believe that like
If I was like above it
Right that I gain respect. Uh-huh. Like I don't know who anyone is right. Oh, right, right, right? I know I
Know who you are. Yeah, but I pretend that I don't all right. Well, I'm a police. Just get the call going
All right, go ahead. You're the chief. Yeah, I'm a chief. All right, go
Henrietta, all right. Yeah, I like that. Thank you. Well fucking the ladies needs to get fucking solved. She's dead
Okay, listen, yeah, she only has a torso. What what I'm not going
We don't do torso, you know, you don't do torso. I do I'm I do that's why I called you. That's why we balance to the
That's strictly had he's strictly torso. We don't
torso. Oh, fuck. I gotta call that fucking bastard Nora
And then you go chief go ahead. Oh, what am I calling you're
All right, I gotta call fucking Nora
We'll do your thing then
I just hung up. There's more information. That's it. First. I gotta see if you're available. Well, I'm I feel like I'm on like sabbatical
Yeah, and I'm like, you know, I don't you know, I'm not doing this anymore, but I'm not doing it anymore
Yeah, yeah, or can we make yours more like the Mel Gibson from?
Lethal weapon where you live in a trailer
Like you drink you have a dog. You live in a trailer. Maybe an iPad like you're jaded. Yeah
I live in like I live in like Vancouver
Seattle like northern Seattle very moody detective weather, right?
Yeah, so what is that Puget Sound? Yeah. Yeah, though the I'm taking courses at the University of Puget Sound
Yes. Yeah, what are you really marine biology? Are you really? No?
She doesn't she wants to get out of the police with her fucking schedule. She has time to go to Nora, but what's
What's a punic sound?
It's out because Kesha went to the Galapagos to study who the fuck is Kesha
I just found out about who Travis Scott is
Oh, let's move on. I think that's appropriate. That's appropriate, but I didn't know who he was. Yeah, so that's a good thing
Yeah, you learned. Okay. Good. Thank you so much. So I called Nora Timber. Okay, right. All right, so
Ring ring. Oh
Yeah, what?
It's me
You got angry
Montgomery
Oh, it's me Montgomery. Henrietta just called you Ward. You just heard from Henrietta or what? What?
What? Did you just hear from Henrietta? Yeah, I did. How'd you know? Every time I call you I talked to Henrietta. She called me.
Oh, fuck bitch. Yeah, that fucking bitch chief we had.
She went from a dispatcher to a field cop, dude, now the chief of the entire bitch. She did that in fucking one minute
She changed herself from receptionist. Anyway, let's move on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right
So, you know you're good with torsos, right?
Yeah, I've got my no she's no no she's no torso. You're strictly torso. She's strictly head
Why would I call her if fucking the fuck this?
Finish it. That's the point. Okay. Fly down. I
Don't think I can finish this thing man
Come on come on
No, her name Henrietta
I told you early onset dementia
Francois what's his name? What's her name? You can call me Francois Francois. All right come on Francois
Please remember the severed head case that I helped you with
Yeah, good. I'm good with severed cases ahead. Yeah, right. Remember. I told you that the
Elaceration marks on the neck couldn't come from a you know song. That's right
Remember, and you're like, oh, yeah, I can't come from a saw bit
A different knife demonstration
Right in court. I had to go all the way to Seattle, right? It's been four days in that fucking courtroom, right?
Well, this saturated blaine has this may 1976 and the couldn't cause the your last ratio
You know, they make right pretty good, right? Yeah, and so would you help me?
You know, I really don't want to but I love coming out. Yes. Okay, so this is how I would cheat
Okay, all right. We go to the crime scene, right? And I see a
Titty
No, not a male titty. Oh female titty nipple
Underneath the couch the body's there. Okay, I would take my river bed. Is it in the river? Yeah, we said it's a river bed
Let me ask you this
Are there abandoned couches by riverbeds? It can be la river. I've seen it. Let's not even question if it's a hangout spot
One of those late night when they do racing when the punk rock kids go and they go to that spot and they have the
Trace is that we yeah, and they like work on their friendships
So what I would do is I would see the I the nipple and I would take my plastic, you know, I would take my plastic
I have the nipple and I would take my plastic. You know, they have the plastic bag. Yeah
What's that I'm putting up sneaking the plastic bag underneath the thing so I can grab the eyeball
I was thinking because I want evidence not tell Nora about it so that when I have to present it
I can look like I know more than her. That is some Fox Mulder
Exactly what Mulder would do to skill that is like he would totally just get her in so much more trouble by abducting a stray nipple
Did you get that Montgomery
It is gonna kill you. I know yeah, you know how mad you'd be if I presented it. How mad would you be?
If it was against protocol I'd be mad, okay, let's go back to introducing you and yeah, yeah
I don't know why we started that was our cold over. I love it. Yeah, I love that a lot. Yeah, so go ahead
Three two
Hello everybody
Whoo, how many episodes is this Gil dude, I think we're over 320 my god
What a voyage and you know, we don't get people back here often, you know, no sometimes people are one and done
the harsh
If you're listening right now and you would did our podcast one time you'll come back. You're coming. You're coming
I don't want to be
But this young talent that we have can I say that sure I love that pretty good, huh? Yeah, did make you feel good
Yeah, I did. Yes. Yes, this young fresh talent. Thank you with a new voice
Dynanus is a dynamic dynamic. Wow, right? She um, I
Think when she did our podcast before we did it in the apartment. Yes. Yeah, it was before
Crazy rich Asians. It was right. This is before the gigantic wave that she's gonna mean surfing on right?
It was a while ago. Yeah, right and this is what you don't realize this
Nora
Like an emotional no, don't Bobby don't not don't
What you don't realize is the honor
Because you made it
Big and you came back to the roots
to help us out and
That's how I'm seeing this event. Okay. Yeah, so goddamn it
Call me Montgomery
You know what also another the brother can I say something else brother?
During my birthday party
Okay, when I saw you at what's his name? You said you loved him. You literally said he was your favorite person
But um, you know when I went to a show and I saw you there
You said a couple of I was really depressed. I came back in the party. I felt good about that
But in general, I was depressed and you said some real nice things to me and I really appreciate you brought some
Interesting people to the show. You did too. You did too. You would I bring Gina Gershaw. I
Think she would if if if you let her she might do love to you. She loves you that much
I love Gina Gershaw. I mean I grew up watching her movies like crazy me too. Yeah
I'm a huge fan of hers huge fan. So talented. Don't you love it when you?
Meet somebody that you were a fan of
Yeah, they meet your expectation like like meet your heroes, you know what I mean? Yeah, meet you're one of those
Yeah, you're a hero that when you meet it exceeds if not me
Yeah, all right succeeds it's nice
But I don't like okay. I brought Gina Gershaw, but then you also you bar out
Be like Benedict, you know like he's the our main one of our maids. He's one of our main superheroes. Yeah, yeah, right
Yes, why don't bring you didn't bring Shang-Chi. Did you?
No, he was not there that night. No, I wouldn't be something. Yeah, I'm sure he'd love to meet is he good powerful
You guys actually met
At my Thanksgiving what but you didn't we did he wasn't Shang-Chi
yet. Oh
What do you have like a all Asian out thanks?
Sorry
Yeah, he just he first moved here
He didn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving and his manager brought him to my place
Why didn't you say that he could have been a power though?
Hey, this Asian guy will be a superhero. Yeah, if he would have said that that I would have been like, you know
Then you would have come you were chill. Oh
Oh, he was good guy. Yeah, you didn't big time him. He didn't you didn't thank God
I don't know. I don't big time anybody. No, you big time people. What does that mean? I'll tell you
Okay. Yeah, let's suppose you're in a hotel. Uh-huh
Which you're in a lot, right? Yeah, you're in London in London lately. Oh, yeah, right?
Yes, you stay at a hotel when you're in London or a house
Sometimes a hotel. Let's just go with the hotel. Okay. Okay. Yeah, because the other way it won't work
Okay, so we have to go because I don't want to be like in my house
That'll be what you call the cops. Yeah, right. So we're not in the house. We're in the hotel
You're in you just get off that you're gonna get some coffee, right? And you can see
30
High school kids. Oh, they are you and
They all you could see them always spring
Right, you can tell you know, there's always one high school guy. That's like I'm the brave one
Like I'll just look at his friends and go check this out. Oh, so you get something, you know, man
Yeah, and he walks up and you know that once he opens the floodgates you have to do 30 pictures
Sure. Sure. Do you do the 30?
Yes, yeah, probably you too you would do no you wouldn't
Yeah, you know, I I don't know what it is. I think um
It's a very circumstantial if I like try to rush out of something like that, you know, like because generally if I'm just being caught
It's like kind of it's like, you know, it's I'm gonna get caught
What do you mean?
Like it's like if there was a crowd and I'd rather go out taking the pictures than going out with them being like
Wow, she was such a bitch, you know, right, right, right? Yeah, so it's not it's it's actually doesn't like take a lot from me to do
I mean, I if you like me, I don't mind it. But yeah, yeah, I totally see what you mean
I think that some like I'm
Definitely around some people that get like
Swarmed and and they and they really can't leave a space, you know, yeah
Yeah, yeah, because I would I don't want to I don't make fun of me cuz I because I feel like it's me
Whoa, that's what I'm saying, but it's like, you know Sunday
I shot that scene with Sarah Jessica Parker in Manhattan. Oh shit
Oh, yeah, and the city stopped
She's legend. It's like traffic and then now I have to do this difficult dialogue crossing the street, right where there's
Thousands of people on each corner taking photos of pop rocks out of nowhere, right? Yeah, and I looked at her and I go
I don't think I can do this right?
Really so much pressure. I mean you perform to like
It's your partner
Okay, you know you can do it. I get it. I get the fervor. I get it with a torso. Oh, you're so sorry torso. Sorry
It's okay. You can eat. It's not the same. It's not the same. We get it. It's yeah
It's why do Koreans do that what zero to one hundred and one point five seconds theatrics Korean theatrics, you know
Yeah, but culturally we do it too. It's like even if I watch any Korean movie
It's always mumble mumble mumble scream mumble mumble scream because our emotions are fluid
Mmm, and
Yeah, we connect them all
So what you know Koreans are extra-feelers like in Star Trek next generation we'd be beta beta zoid
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean Troy, you know, what do I know it's do
It just makes me upset that no one knows what Star Trek next are they not as good as like alpha zoids
I don't know beta zoids is a brace of people that can feel other people's feeling empaths. Oh
They're empaths. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah, so in the show they're empaths. They're like an MBTI army, right?
Yeah, yeah, and so um when I'm feeling right like right now I'm feeling
And I feel content
Yeah, hungry, right? So I'm feeling this right now. Now if I feel anger
I it just bleeds into that feeling but there's anger just come out of nowhere. Yes, and it just sticks its head out. Yeah
Because my dad used to scream at people
Yeah, we he called. I mean he swung a golf club
Too big like I think they're Mexicans, but right he went hey
He took a fucking golf club and started swinging at them. I remember being in the corpse scared
So it's like damn. I don't want to do that in public. Sure. You didn't I don't think that I was fine
You still came at a
At a COVID save Korean theater
You weren't in danger. I mean I looked at your eyes. No, right? You're calling you're causing drama
No, no, I was watching out. She's looking out. Oh, yeah, I apologize for that
I come from a screamy household. What Chinese people don't have that? Um, I
Don't know if it's the same like what you're talking about with Koreans like with the mumble mumble
And then and then but I feel like there there's a distinct separation between like when it's like it's like normal
And then they're just like pissed. Like I feel like you have to get there
You have to say like I never liked you dad
Go like crazy. Yeah, do you ever say that to your dad when I was really young once I was like dad
I love you, but I don't like you. Oh, yeah. What was his reaction? He was he got upset. He was upset. Oh my god
He was it was like oh, you know, you know, you don't have to like like that kind of thing
Yeah, because if I said that to my dad
You know dad, I love you, but I don't like you the first thing I would hear is
That's my conscious going off. Oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know how like a android or whatever when they get shut off. I see that in my eye. Yeah, right
Oh, right, right, and then maybe
Two or three hours later. I wake up
And I think I'm laying there. I have a black eye. Oh
I do like that's how I learned
Your dad was never violent
Not past a certain age. I mean not violent. I think he was definitely disciplinary in yeah
Yeah, I would tell my mom I loved her and she still punched me in the mouth. Oh, oh
Oh, yeah, but yeah, I'm so sorry, babe. Yeah, that sucks
You should have what you feel that
Yeah, yeah, I know it makes you the type person you are cognizant, right? Yeah of
Looming dangers. Yeah
I'm always like bracing and yeah, yeah for that change and
You never know when a backhand is around the corner. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah, I'm skittish
Yeah, but you can always tell when somebody was raised good. I think that can you or no, um, I
Can tell when someone's been raised has never been hit. Mm-hmm like violently
They're a little bit more like less skittish like when I look at George Kimmel
I'm like, oh there was love and stability and like kindness. I could tell that too. Oh, yeah
He's very even keeled. He doesn't have a lot of like really terrible days throughout the year. Is this true? Oh
Yeah, okay, good. He's a happy guy. Yeah, he's just a type of guy that I can call him and I've done this before
24-7. Oh, I feel like an ass off saying this
Say it
No matter what he's doing, I'll just go I need yellow American spirits
He's like I'm helping my child and he's out on the other side of town in a couple hours late
Built yellow American spirits outside my house. Wow
That's amazing. Oh
You keep extras. You should just get a carton. That's what you do. Oh
You didn't know that I didn't know he did that that you thought he'd do it. Oh, you thought he would go to the store every time
Interesting so it doesn't feel as good. He learned tactics
He went to Costco and got a bunch of I know but no cases
That's thinking smart. That's thinking smart and working smart. You know, that's right. That's good
But I've always thought that Nora had good upbringing. Oh, he's a nice. You know, he's just a nice person, you know
in fact all the Asians
For the most part in the business aren't really nice, right?
Yeah, I don't I think when you're doing your life's work that you love and you're surrounded by cool people
There's no reason not to be
Not nice. Yeah, I also think that maybe like the way that the different upbringings like I feel like there's there's something shitty about
You can find in any upbringing, you know, I mean, yeah
Well kids are sensitive, right? We're learning about I feel like you fight your nature a lot
Like your nature is a very like tenderhearted. Oh like kind
Soft being but then he he really latches on to chaos and self-destruction a lot
You fight your nature
Can I be both I
Wish you were he would you know, you want to be the big bully to George, but you're not you just aren't yeah
You want to be viewed as this guy who asks for, you know, who feels joy thinking about George driving 12 miles to get American spirit
You know yellow American spirits you want to be perceived that way, but when you're at home, you're just a little care bear
I'm curious bear. Yeah
Yeah, I'm all the bear. I'm the carriers bear. Yeah. Yeah
And the thing is is that are you saying that when I call George and say get me cigarettes
That I'm not feeling any kind of power leverage of that, but I'm trying to fake it
I don't I truly think that you want to be something that you're not
Like whoa his face is broken it will take a second
You know, it's like you're maybe you're right
You're new New Zealand's just in the on the inside, but you're you're trying to be Hitler on the outside. Wow
Yeah, I don't want to be Hitler. I don't want to be Hitler
It doesn't feel right. It feels wrong. It should feel very wrong. That's like
That's that might be like toxic
Masculinity, I think it's a Napoleon complex
Go keep going
Short round, but I've you know, I've had a lot of negative stuff. Why don't you keep going? That's a good thing
Napoleon complex fat. What else?
What else little angry little man, huh?
Want to get his vengeance on the world? It's angry little elf. Oh, I'm not even fucking human
Bitch, I'm not even human in that
Oh, you're so cute and soft. Stop. Just be that
I think I'm gonna you know what I think you just changed me
Okay, how I think I'm just gonna be that be that Bobby. You're the kindest person. I know what's up
Did you meet Nora Aquafina? How are you?
Hi, it's my niece. Oh, that's just a podcast with no idea what's going on. Nice. Let me ask you
Is that what you're gonna wear to do Jeremiah's podcast? Yeah, you're in pajamas. All right, cool
Come on in. Come on in for a second. I need to talk to you about something. She's standing in the middle of the fucking room
She's in a podcast. Yeah. Yeah
Number one. I've been gone for three weeks when I saw you today
I know but you I know but I want a hug. Yeah, but you didn't greet her happy birthday. Oh
Oh my god
Give her the keys. Give her the keys. I don't have them. You better stand in the middle. Oh, they're right here. Do you want these?
One last thing though. One last thing. One last thing. You have you been using the car? All right
I
Know when I went into the car earlier, right? What did the thing say?
One
It wasn't her. I can actually tell you it wasn't her. You know, it was Mary Ann
She took the car for three days and didn't fill it back up. Wait, wait, wait
Fuck face. Mary Ann took my car for three days. Yeah, she took her daughter to disneyland though. Be nice. Oh disneyland
Oh
No
One last thing one last thing one last thing right you represent the family you kill it on the podcast
It's a franchise, baby
All right, you're gonna kill it. Don't make me look like a fool by jules drive safe. That's hilarious
That's what I'm talking about. I wasn't gentle there. No, you weren't I went against my nature. Yeah, but you love her so deeply
Yeah, so you you read gas
From like one what does one mean?
One bar of gas
One bar of gas of gold. No gas of gas. So it's like
It's like the equivalent of like one bar of like a phone
Yes, yes, yes, that's not equivalent. No, I disagree. No, don't have to do not do that
Just because she's you know, that's exactly like it. It's like, uh, don't do that. You're wrong. You're absolutely wrong
It's not there's six bars. Okay. Okay. It's not the same guy, right eight bars. How many miles is one bar?
Here's the deal, dude
My brother and I
Five years ago rented a car a lincoln
Okay
We were driving, you know, la sienna go you guys live in la now la sienna go
You know when you go to la sienna go boulevard and it turns in the sunset. Yeah, you know exactly where that
But how steep is la sienna go boulevard there? It's pretty steep, huh? Fucking steep as fuck. Would you say yes? Yes, okay
So one day on a friday five o'clock
I was going up that fucking road
It was raining and friday clock at five o'clock in that road is the worst traffic
On planet earth. Yeah, and I ran out of gas there while it was raining. Oh my god. Imagine what I call stevie with stevie
Uh, right him and I had gasoline all over our body because we didn't know how to open the fucking thing
So when we would pour it in the car, it would go on on our body. Oh my god
We did not use the funnel siphoning it
Oh my god, and people were like fuck you like driving by going
Fuck you and I'm like a sider on it. You know what I mean?
So a doorman named steven fury drove by he's no longer a doorman. He's a legitimate. He's a legitimate comedian
But back then he was I feel like I made him
So throw that out there, but um, he made you from this experience
saved your ass
Yeah, so he's like
I'm steven. I'm a doorman. I'll go get so he went and got gas. He did it for us. We drove away and he opened for me
Wow. Yeah, but my point is ever since then
Even if it's a bar norah
I get scared that I'm gonna get run out. I'm gonna run out again. Don't you don't get scared?
Um, I've been so poor that I've been on
E
So much that I know exactly. Oh, yeah, because it's like I put exactly five dollars in just to get to class
So I'm always hovering on e so I know exactly how many miles I have on my old camry
There's always a dude that's like now after that's 25 miles you get 25 25 mile guys
Yes, I feel like that's true because they can't they're not gonna leave us like that
Yeah, they can't leave us like
On a Prius you have at least like 60 miles. That's like a hundred thousand miles after I don't know that
I've been telling you for eight years. I don't like it. I just don't like it. I don't like the fear
Right. Yeah, leave me two three two three bars
The worst is when you're like, I don't mean if you've been to new york like the i-87 and you're driving like in the middle of the night
It between like 30 mile exits and you don't know if we can get gas next. That's when it hits
Oh
That's probably the worst. Yeah, and then you go on your google maps or whatever, right?
And then you you could it's so far away from where you are
Yeah, that's scary. I can't do that. That's I feel the anxiety too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Does your car make a noise or?
I have yes. Yes, it does. What do you have a what? No, I it does make a noise an electric car probably doesn't need gas
I know
It's a people have a tesla. Yeah, I have friends have teslas. Yeah, I thought you were talking about a tesla earlier
I didn't wasn't I can't afford it
For the special people you have a tesla. What does the tesla do? I didn't roll up here to tesla. No, I don't have you have more than one car
Yes, you have five cars
So what's doing well, that's all no, let me ask you this nor I don't know. I mean
Because you know
We've seen each other the last couple years. Yeah, but your life has changed dramatically
Would you say or no?
I mean
Since we last don't listen a lot. I mean, no since the last time you did tiger belly
To now, right? You would you say that your life has changed dramatically?
I wouldn't say dramatically, but I'd say I've changed and I think certain circumstances in my life have changed. Yeah. Yeah
and how was I mean
Dealing with it. I have you been good about it healthy about it or is it been stressful?
Um, I think it's been stressful. Like I feel like uh,
but I I realized a couple things that like depression and like anxiety
Is a ghost that just comes to haunt you in different faces in your life, you know
And I feel like sometimes my brain searches for things to go wrong and
You know what I mean? Yeah, so it's like as long as it's as long as I know that it's that then
Yeah, but I try and I also try not to get too carried away. I think like I
Remember what it was like to be really broke and I remember what it was like to just be happy to
Be anywhere, you know what I mean? So like that hasn't escaped me. Yeah, I think it's important
I don't want to say his name. I'm not gonna say his name, but I know a guy
That made it at 15
Right. He never had a day job. Yeah, all right. Yeah, and
he's
He's kind of a dick
Like I have to admit. I mean, you know, you're saying that I'm a sensitive guy. I'm a nice guy. That's this guy's a fucking asshole
like legitimate like
What and I like I want to look in his face and go you're a fucking ass
You know what I mean, but I'd never do it because he's big
It's like a physically big guy. So you'd smash me, you know, I mean, and I don't get smashed in the face
You know, I mean my point is is that he never had a day job
You and I what's the worst job you had day job?
worst uh
I
Maybe an air conditioning company or something like that. You worked at an air conditioning company. Mm-hmm doing what?
I don't know what I was doing
There's like this show called rockos modern life where there was you ever seen that, you know conglomerate his neighbors
Uh, I forget what they were. They're like frogs frogs. Think frogs. Yeah
This one he just enters in numbers
There's like a stack of papers and you enter in numbers and you just over and over again and the stack gets little or that's what I was doing
Oh my gosh, that's that seems miserable. Yeah. Are you in a room?
Yeah, like a room with other people. Yeah, or you're are you in cubicles like they see in the movies? No, no, no
I've never seen those in real life. I think a snail. Oh, yeah
Oh, are they called the what are they called again the fat heads? I don't remember
Wow, yeah, so when you're doing this all day and then finally, you know, I mean you're doing what you love doing and you're making a little money
you mean
Yeah, you can remember
Yeah, yeah, and you also I think you also just remember what it's like to just you know
um
Just be treated like with shit all the like shit all the time, you know
Yeah, like just being yelled at and stuff like that
I know by customers. I know you ever feel like
um
We've talked to a couple friends like do you ever feel as though like who you are? Let's say five years ago
Has been like stifled a little bit or you have to be you have to present a different way in a more appropriate way
I think
Yeah, sure. I think your authentic self will always exist within you
I think where and in the healthy conditions of of expanding that authentic self
I think can be stifled by certain aspects of this industry like which is
um, you know, you just you just kind of want to like
Maintain a sense of self when when I think your sense of self and your perception of self is being is being different
All around right all the time. So it's like
um
Yeah, I yeah, that's really interesting. I sometimes feel like if I
When I was working when I was taking the subway all the time when I was going to school in the city
And like when I was hanging out with my friends, you know doing
Bi by ob restaurants and things like that like I there was a
Kind of a part of the zeitgeist that I felt I
If there was material for anything like I feel like that was very rich in material because you're you're observing things from like
Like a very like linear standpoint of like you're part of the culture
I feel like when you have don't have a day job and you're in your house all day
Which I do when I'm off like you you're not part of the of any zeitgeist. You're not a part of any
Moving thing and I think that if feeling a stifling and then I do get this fear that like
um
My mindset will be trapped into that of an immature 20-something year old
Which I still feel like I I like come back to that
In a mature person, but like
Uh, I don't want to feel trapped in that person. Yeah, like I want to think I can grow. Yeah
Well, you know when I was a younger comic and I would talk with bigger comics and I go, um
Well, I can't I have to work at a club and you know, I can't eat you know this and that right and I go
I would go you guys must be so happy
But no, we don't you know me definitely
Yeah, yeah, like I feel like there's all yeah for sure like when I was first coming up
I would meet people and I'd be like dude
You're you're like living the dream and yeah, just like you don't want to live my dream
And I said this like the best days I think of my career in terms of the excitement
And and not to say that I don't feel excited now. I do it's different
It's like waiting for something to happen
But also living within whatever means that that was as as long as I can make $500 a month for my rent
Like I'm good
Yeah, that's that's another thing that you're saying that I agree with which is when you're younger and you're in this business
And you get a big job out of nowhere, right?
That feeling you can't beat it. No, right? It's the best. It's the best feeling you're like who's in it
Yeah, but what's going on?
There's this pressure also because it's you know, it's a big job and you know, it's out of your league
So you could just step in do it. You don't your mind isn't even about owning it and succeeding
Right. It's just like just do it and don't don't like die in the process. No, my thoughts always just get I see
This is my internal dialogue
Say your fucking lines get through it. You're fine. You're fine. You know what you're doing. They don't see through you
You mean you belong here and I have to do these like
Mental exercises to my you're fine. You fucked up and lines fine. Everyone fucks it. I had if I fuck up on a line
I want to go like this
I don't want to sit and do it now
But this is my gut reaction. Okay, you could do it. Give me a line
Oh, harry. It's gonna be here tomorrow. Harry. It's gonna be here. I'm gonna have fuck. Oh, yeah
That's my gut
It's okay. A lot of people do that by the way. I know I did I find I've done that
I know it's so hard not to but it freaks people out. No, I don't think it does no
Okay, here's what you need to know about
They sorry they have seen everything. All right, they've seen everything. So like that's just they just know that that's your way of
Doing it and also the more endearing vulnerable
Cute part is that you care, right? So it's not like you're fucking up the line and you're like, I'm gonna fuck up the line
And I'm not I don't even care. Yeah, but you're you're there's a process going on anything
I think that they just don't want you to think too much and be too
Messed up by it because you know, I mean no one wants to see that
No, I don't think that they think you they're freaking out and they think that you're weird
I think that they if anything, it's cute. Yeah, and dumb
Literally gave me these exact chairs
I'm sorry to call him out. I don't want to call him out. It's just fighting
Just biting and biting. No, they're they're blue, but they're exact
Fucking snake fuck. You loved him at one point. No, he Korean fuck. You loved him, man. Wow
You loved him at one point earlier today earlier today. Not any better. Um dumb found it
Yeah, tell him
I'm sorry dumb dumb. I'm sorry
I know
I know that I'm more artistic than you
I know that my visual color stylings and um, well, well, I'll just say though
They're green and pink it it it's a little better than ours
If I had thought of that
Okay, well what you what?
What you're doing right now. I what you're doing right now. I love green and peach together. It's a great combo
That's gonna be a tough one to it's a wrong. Whatever you're doing. I was wrong
It's the wrong thing. I don't know what else to say to you. It's the wrong thing. Let me go back to dumb now dumb
You rat fuck right? I know that you're the way you walk is like kind of like mine. Oh, oh, yeah a little bit
If you look at if you look at him walk
If you close your eyes
You close your eyes and your ears
No, but from afar if you see me and dumbfounded walking on a prairie
Right from afar, right? You have binoculars
All right, imagine you two
But not you're at prairie. You see me dumb walking across, right? You can see your head through the reeds
And you'd be in a waddle. It's so cute
Oh, sweetie. Oh my god, it's fun
It's fun. We just need a tip of this beanie through the grass. That's fun
That's fun stuff, but I would see it literally moving in the same silhouette
Anyway, you stole that from me. Um, secondly, you stole my the color design of our podcast
Right and now fuck face what you're doing
Is you're looking at furniture of ours because you know, it's good furniture
And you're going wow, you know, I mean, but he gave them to me. He's not using them
That even hurts more
What you're saying to me gifting people your style. No, what he's doing is he orders stuff
Right stuff that we have. Yeah, he tries it at home
And he looks at and goes this is junk
Right. I'm gonna give this away to Nora. Is that what he's doing? Yeah
That's exactly
What you fucking
Korean rat
You're a Korean rat, dude. And you know what dude, we'll work together, but I don't know man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you fucked up
There's something that broke. Yeah. Yeah
Anyway, um
You know, wherever we go, Nora, we take ourselves with us. Yeah
So now no matter what is going on in your life
You think you can fantasize and go if I made this money or if I did this or this, you know at the end of the day you
generally
Feel the same. Oh, totally. I think I feel sadder today than I ever have my whole life. Why?
I don't know. She feels she's depressed. I'm super depressed right now. Yeah
It's more than that. Yeah, you're gonna cry right now. No, I'm not gonna cry
I want you to cry but I I I go through big like ups and down ups and downs
This is right on time. I think usually November is when it starts for me
Do you find that it's oh, so it's a seasonal you feel like it can be I have a bipolar too
So my mania is not high, but my depression is real long. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like my
I have like a
cyclical aspects to my mood that I'm starting to notice now like a monthly
aspect to my mood
Yeah, I feel like I go between like really angry and like
Like overconfident in like in not a lit way. Yeah, and and just like whatever like and then and then like really fragile too
Like whatever and then to like actual fragile sad
Well, I call those days the angry and confident and I call those
Um, my sister and I call those the Rony days the testosterone II days where it's like closer to your periods your estrogen is completely
depleted
I feel like an asshole of a dude
Right. Yeah, like I just want to like eat all the yeah. Yeah. Yeah nachos and stuff
Yeah
Yeah, and then I get like kind of like scared
Like it devolves into like paranoia. I guess is that like
I
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I go through all you smoke weed. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah a lot
Um
Not like not not as much as when I was younger younger. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that it inhibits paranoia or
I think people that have been doing it for a very long time. Yeah, right are used to it. Yeah
I know dudes that smoke weed and can act
Like be completely high and go on a movie set and kill it. Oh, yeah, I'm not that I can't do that
Would you be able to do that?
Uh
Not well. No, I think I I would get too much in my head. Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you this
Would you get high let's say because sometimes like just let me hear you out
Sometimes, you know, the next two scenes you don't have any line. Oh, so like vacation scenes
When I'm just crossing us
Or some days they make you do like a thing where you're the reverse
So you just have to say one line to you know, I mean, right, right? So you're just standing there, right?
Would you get high for that?
If I was going to get high in any in any scenario, probably yeah, yeah, like a hand insert
Yeah, would you think there's some high guy would be like see your hands in a movie and go like, oh
Even for hand insert high and non-high hand insert. All right, so probably um, I don't know how to do this
But let me try. Okay. Yeah, let me try. That's your camera. Right. Yeah. All right. So um, a normal insert would be
Like this. Okay. What are you doing too by the way?
What I'm coming and just and just like turn off the just so it's a little music box
So you have to come into the box and then
I've never seen a music box before. That's big like this. Oh, I see with those little things. Yeah, just one round though
Or one round one round. Yeah, the props guy is angry. All right
So yeah, so don't test them. Yeah
Yeah, because they always make you give you in a conversation like dude, you know, there's only one of these man
So it's like you gotta be with a man
And it's super fragile multi-million dollar fucking movie. You can't get more than one. It's the personal property of our executive producing
Great grandma. Yeah. Yeah. It's from Egypt dude 17th century and you're like music box from Egypt
So, um, this is how I do it. Um normal, right? Okay. I'm not gonna get this right because I take longest with insert shots
Really?
Yeah, there was one scene where I was in Hawaii last week
What? It takes six hours
I'll tell you why because there was a scene where I was running. I was doing macro
I was running on the hallway
And some guy grabs me from running this way. So I'm running this way the camera's here and he
Throws me against the wall
Right and he goes full force
I get kind of knocked back. Is a stunt. He's kind of a stunt, right? And I have to know he's got a gun in my face
Like this. Oh, oh, and I have to intercepts you. Right. Right. And I had to take a phone
from my jacket
In like three seconds
And put it in his fucking pocket, which is fucking like I don't know where it is because it's one of those
Felti jackets. Oh, no. Well, you don't know what the opening is. It's like one of those Uniqlo finance
I'ma get so well like there's being lifted up and
Cut it's gotta be quicker, Bob. I know
I can't find a fucking pocket
Why do those shots have to be practical is they don't have to be practical. What do you mean?
Like they could cut away and do that
separate
Okay, exactly man. Yeah, I I agree. I'm I'm on your side. Yeah
It's like
It's like get closer
So that we don't have to do the run and the and the slam, right? It's just gonna bulk up the scene, right?
And then I remember one time
one of the um
wardrobe people
Took his two fingers and opened the pocket up
I don't like that. So that I know so that I know so I can get the fucking the phone in quicker
And the director goes no man
Put the pocket back against the thing, right? And I'm like
I can't see it
Like he did that
So like you look in the pocket is now being propped up. Oh, no
Oh, no, that's when the prop guy gets see that see that's
George
Why did you do that? Why did you do that?
Man, you're the star sit down
Thanks, George. That's um spray. We're hand inserts, please. Oh, yeah. So what's uh, my bad standard one wind. So, um
Wait one one say action. Yeah one one
I gotta put my hands. Can I put my hands in the front guy is literally here and he's like chewing nicorette
Right here. And he's like, let's go. Come on. Make me proud. So go ahead back to one background rolling and action
Wow, wow, that was good, dude
You you should be real. Are you being real right? Yeah, you you you really good at like, I guess it's pantomime
Are you good at pantomime?
That was really good. I feel like it wasn't good and I feel like you're just trying to give me a no that was really good
All right, all right, so let's go. Hi. Yeah, everyone take a quick lunch and uh, don't smoke before this kind of
Oh, yeah, no with a warning too. All right. Don't hybrid don't smoke
Like out of what a bong you take a bong rip or I did six bong rips
I did six bong rips three right with tequila in the bong
Yeah, right and a bunch of it went into your mouth if you like overfill
Yeah, so I just six and I'm like then I have to do the things we're doing the insert today
Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, we gotta do. I mean it's moving around dude. We got 86 77
So you got to come in right now and do it. Oh, don't you hate when they do that? Uh, yeah
We have to do it in five minutes this monologue. We're losing life
So here we go
Background rolling take five action
What the fuck's he doing? Oh my god, what the fuck's he doing? What's wrong with his fucking hands? His wrist is broken
What the fuck is it? What kind of wine?
That's higher
That's that's rough. What do you mean? That's rough that you're opening a box. You have loose loose wrists. No, I have carpal tunnel on both hands
You do no only only inflamed when I take six bong rips
Yeah, it's what he did the normal so good with a carpal tunnel. Yeah, yeah, yeah
But um, yeah, I hate those I hate insides. I would be hesitant
So what I do a lot that I think drives people crazy is I'll go in and I'll be like, sorry
I'm gonna do it again and I'll cut myself off even and then sometimes they'll be like don't cut yourself off because that was good
And you cut yourself off and then I'm like, well, I'm double idiot then
Yeah, do you ever argue with a director about how good you are? No, just no
I feel like you again arguments because you're so good. It's like I was shit. You were so good bobby. You won't believe it
No, I mean saying they give you a note that you don't agree with
I don't argue. No
Well, like give an example of like an art. Well, you don't have to do a real life one, but no, I'm gonna give a real life
No, no real life. No, you don't have don't give a real life. Well. Yeah, it's something. Give a hypothetical hypothetical one
But that's similar to the real life experience. Yes. All right. It's summer. Yeah, don't use names
So he goes this guy goes
There was a line somebody had right and um, I had a line afterwards
But in my head, I'm like, it's so much funnier if if you say the line
Interrupting him so he has to stop sure isn't this specific thing
So I do it one time that way during rehearsal and it gets a laugh from video village for sure. Oh, yeah
my choice
All right
Action do it again
Director goes cut. He comes up to me. He goes leave like a gap though
What gap between the his line
Wait 20 seconds and then say your fucking line. Did he let you have one in the can where you know?
It wasn't even the can yet, right? It wasn't the can it was no because I was a rehearsal and I did it. So I go
I'm telling you right now, dude. I this is how I talk. Oh, man. I respect you
Big time director
But what your big time director? Oh
Thank you for so much for the job
No, I'll just be like dude like I'm telling you right now. It's just funnier this way. Yeah, and then
I just didn't I think I just did it that way
You you didn't his way. I didn't do it his way. I feel like this person. What a friend
I know him. What did he say?
Did he he and he just gave up
He just never said anything because I promise you you would never do this with
Oh, yeah
Yeah, there's certain
Yeah
Yeah, had you directed you anything? No. No, I have he's a screamer
Oh, yeah
No, like he broke his soul. He broke my heart
I broke your heart. Hey. Oh, why is the sides in your hand? Oh, I go. I just you guys. Oh god
We pay these fucking actors all this fucking money can't fucking memorize her. Wow
Right, and you're just like I'll drop it. You guys are friends though. Yeah took a photo. Oh, you guys are like best friends
No, this is what happened
I was sitting there going I'm never gonna do show again
He was sitting there. I was crying right that was me on a phone right there that he had just called me crying
Yeah, yeah, and he sits next to me
And he's one of those white dudes that everything that comes out of his mouth is asian
Oh, I did a tour and laos
Just out of nowhere and you're just as an asian guy you have to you know me
You have to kind of pander to it. Yeah, all right. So you go. Oh, yeah, laos crazy. Love it. Yeah
I mean I to your people and then they'll put you in it. Your people are just a spiritual people
You know what I mean?
Yeah, dude, I watch regular shit like I know what's going on political. You can bring up anything
You mean not like he's I remember the plane ride I had one of this white guy goes
He looks at me and he goes this random white guy goes my daughter loves hello kitty. Oh my god
I didn't invent it
It allows you I mean, but people you know how white people sometimes bring up asian shit just to have a conversation with you
Did that ever happen or is that connect? No, does it happen to you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then so he's one of those but that was like
He's just his first line to me. I'm gonna get so much
Yeah, the original. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. He's a great actor. I love him. He's one of the best directors in the world
In fact cut the whole thing out. You're right. You're absolutely right
So there's a way to do it where we're doing it feels good to get it out just vent
Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, but we at it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the thing with with guys that
Like talk generally at you
Like that is like oh man. Did we not have a connection? It's like all right. It's like did you hate me so easily
You have to treat me like maybe that's like I think that's also like a power dynamic too
It's it's a way to to keep you at a certain like to to to your roles, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Well, it's like it's you know, a lot of people are from the old school of Hollywood. Yeah, definitely and there were screamers back then
Oh, yeah, and not as much like you don't see I've never seen a young director scream
No, you know, but they're using tight pants and they're wearing like, you know, I mean
Aviar nation whatever they're wearing and um
They're listening to the dirty projector
Right. That's I love the dirty project. I love that. Yeah, they're amazing. They're from canada. I don't know
I think they are I love that album google it
Yeah, I love the dirty projectors, but um
They're those guys
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cool. They're cool. Yeah, they know where the best coffee is. Yeah, they all I would just move to the altedina
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yesterday a director told me she goes your comics. So I'm going to talk to you
In a different way because you guys just work differently
Oh, and I'm like, are you from jesus's clan? I mean, you're the best
How how was how was it different the
the way she talked
She was she understood because she's friends with margaret chow. No, right? So she's just like, you know, I've worked with margaret forces
This is this the way so it's like it feels
Like when a director understands that like, you know, I'm not I've never taken an acting class really
As you can tell when you're watching
Yeah, yeah, but uh and uh, but um
Yeah, I just feel like um, she's just
Cool like she's young and cool and she's she's a different national. That's cool. It's cool. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, people think that have low self-esteem. I don't okay. No, I know you are too. You I know you too. Yeah, right?
and it just you know
It just makes me feel good that you're here
I love you. I wish I wish that I could honestly
I love hanging out with you bobby, but I wish I could hang out. I've never really hung out kalilah
Do you have a number?
I well, I have we we talk on instagram a lot. We talk about we should hang out. Oh, yeah
Yeah, have you seen? Oh my god. You have not seen her dog and cat love on each other. Oh, yeah
They're better than he has better animals than us. She shared it when she walked in here today
sweetie, it's our dream come true
Well, you want cats and dogs to get along in this house? Well, we have four dogs and three cats
So the dogs sort of mingle amongst themselves and the cats do their own. Oh, they don't they don't they're not lovely. Oh my god
Yeah, oh, yeah, that makes me so jealous
So cute. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Okay. So our clans don't the clans don't mix here. Oh, that's well
They have room they have room to be on their own. Yeah
No, our animals are like, you know, let's let's suppose, you know, um
Our dogs are like italians
And the cats are like syrian refugees. I thought you were gonna say gray house
No, no, you know, they're walking through italy right trying to find out. You know what I mean? And they just they don't
What?
Yeah
sweet
Have you seen those italian grands?
They're called iggies. They always look nervous. Yeah. Yeah, that's so cute. But they're best friends
They're not best friends, but they get along. I think
They don't understand each other, but they tolerate each other
Because they don't want to they don't they don't want to be alone in the house. I guess. Yeah
So let me ask you something
Uh-huh
When you're out of the house and you're driving around doing errands, they're by themselves. Yes together. Yeah, and do they do you have cameras inside the house?
Just to see what they're up to. I have yeah, I have some like when I pet cube cameras. Yeah. Yeah
When you're on the road
I do yeah, that's what I do. All I do is think about kalayla first
Look at that head turn number one innocent
It's like they don't know when you leave and stuff like that, you know, that's what they don't know what it's about
They don't know well our dogs. Um, they start to have anxiety when we pull out the suitcases
Yeah, they're yeah for sure. They know they know. Yeah. Yeah, and also I think the dogs think I'm a magician
Why like a traveling music? No, they just look at me and they go this guy is pure magic
Like when we lived in the apartment and we get on the third elevator, right?
And you get on and then the door opens and we're on a different level and they would used to look up to me like
Wow, you have power
And I used to like not go oh this is the elevator. I would be like, yeah, you know what I mean?
Like, you know what I mean?
But like they think that you're magical they you feed them so
You're there. They're a kind of life source. I guess right sometimes I want to tell them you like, you know, I'm pretty cool
You know
Yeah, don't even understand. What kind of food do you give them?
Um, I give my cat was really good on like dry food for a while and he's very not picky
But then I felt bad because I was feeding the dog wet foods and now I feed him wet food
Scream at you if you don't put the wet food out. Oh really? He's he's very vocal. He's so smart
But do you get high and shit or do because we get high and shit. Well, you do for sure. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Do you change up their up their food a lot? I I don't I have a service that delivers like real food
So I always mix that
Actually, I don't mix at all. It's just real food all the time. That's awesome
Do you find that they just don't get sick of that?
They don't because sometimes it's lamb. Sometimes it's this. Yeah, so
Can we plan a barbecue or something? Yeah, I want dumbfounded there
I need dumbfounded so I can yell let's do a Korean barbecue. Yeah
Why can't we do that one? They just have a Korean day. Yeah, you mean call other Koreans
And Asians, I mean you're not a Korean like
You're half Korean again, so we open it up to other
I'm not trying to take away your career
You know, that's not who I am
I'm sure the half of your no you you you were a Korean unifier. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah, but we we should have
Which is a one day
Don't you think?
Yeah, if you unite us
Yeah
We can invite john cho
I'm sorry
That was the last time you talked to john cho last week last week. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love him
Sorry, I I love him. You know who I love. Oh lory tension. Oh my god. I love her. I did a movie with her
Yeah, right. She's on your show. She loves you. She talks about you all the time
I love her too. And when I was at the show and when I would do performing in new york, you would see your shows
I got them who would come into Gotham and hang out with me. She's really great
And you know what? I also love about her and you have to admit this
Oh people like lory
Had it so much. Oh, yeah for sure, right? Yes, like I when I'm in, um, hawaii I sometimes eat with amy hill
I love you
And I always look at her I go
Oh
God, I just
I look up to you so much
Come on, just eat your chicken
And I always go no
Because the shit that even the shit that I went through
Right?
I mean imagine what she went through in the
Yeah, for sure, yeah
Asian accent
You mean either some sort of fucking
Coke clerk
A coke clerk
A checking clerk
Right or because she deployed a coke clerk once on a movie
And lory or amy
No, lory did
You know what she was in? She was in glen gary glen ross
Great movie
Mickey blue eyes
Right, Mickey blue eyes
She devil one of my favorite
That's right, but you know she you know someone like lory gets a line maybe nothing
Yeah, someone right and it's like no she's as good as everyone else, right
But she doesn't get the opportunity and it's like
I'm so happy that people like Amy
And one of my not
Because this has to do with Asians that you're not interested
What?
Out of nowhere?
If we're talking about Robert Bradford or Steve McQueen you'd be fucking
I silly right now
Robert Bradford
Who? You
You're right
Is this every time you have to
Every fucking time
I apologize then, Carrie Bear
Carrie Bear
He was taking notes
Are you sick of this fucking
Squid Game ball fucking shit
Why are you sick of it
Every fucking white dude coming
Squid Game, Squid Game, they always say it
Look at my nails, they're inspired by Squid Game
Let me see
Oh wow cool
Yeah those are awesome
I mean it's a cultural phenomenon right?
Yeah, did you like it?
Yeah, it was pretty good
It's good, you know why I liked it
An Asian male character
With that many flaws
That
Didn't have any kind of redemption
Which I think was a big theme of it
And also I like the way that they portray
Degenerate gambling
You don't often see
You often see like
Vegas and like
I'm pulling the casino tonight
But you don't see like how that really draining
ATM accounts and like
Screaming and it's like you're just in your own misery
But he does change
In the movie which I liked
Where in the beginning he just
To me was unsympathetic in the sense that
I feel like he was weak
And like kind of like
Well weak and he gives into bad things
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
He steals from his mom
No they set him up good
They have no redemption in that first episode
But still half way through the movie
He does become braver
And he changes more into
Kind of a man and
But I think that was always who he was
It was just, you know
His vices
His vices that got in the way of like you
It's like you're a care bear on the inside
I think he was too
But it's like life and his
You know vices got in the way
Hmm
Interesting
But even the way he
Debt with his daughter in the beginning
Right
That's a man that doesn't
That knows he's without redemption
Yeah
He's given up
But who do you think the worst person in the movie was?
The worst person in the
In the show
The doctor
What doctor? His brother
The guy who was matched up
During the marbles with the Indian guy
Uh
Yeah that sounds like he's
Not the doctor
His friend growing up
Right
That's a piece of shit right there man
I didn't like him
He turned out to be a piece of shit
I didn't finish it
Say something
Nara
Say something
I watched most of it
What did you get to?
5, 4, 5
Did you get to the marbles?
We're giving her all the answers
3
I got up to 3
There are no marbles
I got up to the blue and the red paper
No one dies
What's bullshit about it is you have no right to
Even talk about the movie
Oh really?
I feel like I saw like 20%
I know but I see I stop
Myself when it gets to that part
You keep calling it a movie
Which is kind of weird
You guys should watch T10
Have you heard of that movie?
T10
I saw it last night it's crazy
Okay so T10 I want to watch something tonight
Yeah T10 it's really good
What's the one?
It's um
She like has sex with a car
Ooh I'm into that
Oh it's so good T-I-T-A-N-E
T10
The call or the calling
The call
It's a Korean movie remember? The girl who
Communicates with
The girl in the past
What's it called?
It's on Netflix
I think it's called The Call
But the movie that I highly recommend
I'm going to stand and say it
Is it this one?
I highly recommend everyone watching the movie
Malignant
Oh yeah that was crazy dude
I had a weird thought
That maybe we could talk about malignant today
I want to talk about malignant
Have you seen malignant?
Oh nice
This is the call
Everyone listen I'm very excited
So
So malignant is this
Did you know what it was going to be about?
No that's why
But I was like why this surgical intro
And then I was like that's why
I'm so excited
So the first
Hour of the movie
You're just like almost going I'm done
Like I didn't
Like I thought it was hacky some of it
I didn't know what was going on too
Well I felt like it was a lot of setup
And I was like what could this possibly
Be
And then it's one of those movies
When you find out what it is
You go
Why?
What?
There's some movies that you loved growing up
That give you no resolution
Still to this day no resolution
And I feel like it gives you resolution
And also like a punch in the face
Like
Have you ever wanted resolution like it gives you
Yeah
And there's a couple of scenes in there
Especially the prison scene
Where you realize
That's when you realize you go
What is this?
You're right
And it's like
I really highly recommend it
It was on HBO Max
But it's on iTunes
A guy that opened up for you was in that movie
What?
This guy, Dan Ramos
You know why I didn't watch it?
Because this fuck right here
Every time I would run into this fuck
He would go
Hey you know I'm in a big movie
And I'd be like
No man
You're in so many big movies dude
Who is?
I'm in one movie coming out
That's a big
A big movie
Yeah I mean
Let me ask you this
I'm gonna get on my knees
Can you tell when you're doing a movie
If it's good
No
I can't tell if it's good or bad
Me too
Thanks for participating
But
When something's really bad
Like really bad
You can feel that more than you can feel when it's really good
Because sometimes the really good ones
Yeah
That's interesting to me
If it's really bad you kind of go
Oh I'm on a train wreck right now
Yeah but then you have to also measure
Your place on it right
Is it really bad and do I have enough say
To actually change how bad it is
If I don't then I probably
I'm not that important in this anyway
It's not gonna affect you
But I don't think that's really ever happened
I've never been a partisan that I really cognizantly
Was like this is so bad
Oh that's cool
You don't have to talk about it
I wasn't kicking at old school
I feel like there are so many times
You don't have to talk about it
You're like no I am
I wasn't kicking at old school
Break dancing movie
You underestimate yourself there
I love that movie
Kicking at old school
It was a break dancing movie with Jamie Kennedy
And I've said this before
But they couldn't find a body doubler for me
But they could find
A Filipino woman with my baby
So if you watch the movie
And they see cutaway scenes of the body
It's a Filipino woman
They said we searched
All of Canada
We searched all of Canada
A male dancer
Oh man look at you dude
Yeah that's what I was in
And the whole time I'm like
I think this is bad
The whole time
Every single day I'm like
I'm having a blast
That's how I met Michael Rosenbaum
But deep down inside you're just kind of going
Yeah I don't think this is good
The experience of the movie
Sometimes it turns out
It never matches
Because I remember going to the dressing room
And me and Michael Rosenbaum would like
Get naked and fuck around
It's fun
And then like
Or you go to meals right
Let's go get dinner
You're in a different hotel
Check out that schnitzel place together
Like if you and I did a movie
Let's say I did one of your movies
I know you're number one on the call sheet
Not always
But if I was like fourth on the call sheet
I'd probably have a weekend
We would have a meal
Yeah we'd probably be on some like
You know like remote area together
And need to have a meal
Right or you're one of those like
Hey I rented a boat
No I'm not
I don't rent
I don't thrive on the boats like that
Oh not on a boat but like for instance
If you and I did a movie in Hungary for instance
I would rent out the bottom section
Of a TGI Fridays patio
Alright
But I'd be like I would
Rent out an area maybe
Of a TGI Fridays
We were in Hungary
And you were like I rented out TGI Fridays
I have no pull in Europe
I can't rent out shit in Europe
You have money though right
Yeah but like how does that
How do you know
I would probably go to you and go
Can you do it at Nobu?
Would you do it at Nobu?
I'd be like Bobby thinks I can
So I'll try
Okay so that's gonna happen
I believe one day I'm gonna have like
A couple of lines in one of her movies
What about like a character with depth
And like awesomeness
Yeah we'll do that too
God I like you
What a good one you are
Complets I love it
Do we have an unhelpful advice for you
To do plugs now first
I like to do that first
Excuse me Nora
Is there anything that you'd like to plug
Oh I thought you were gonna do plugs for your show
No I have nothing
No I don't
Okay sure yeah I do
When is this coming out?
Tomorrow
Oh okay I have a movie called Swan Song
That's coming out on December 12th
December 12th on what medium?
Apple TV Plus
So December 12th
Apple
Can I double check
I have swan songs coming out
My fans are going writing down
Okay December 12th
We're gonna bookmark it
It's a really amazing movie
You should go see
Mahershala Li
Oh fuck man
Oh fuck
Glenn Close really good
Yes so good
Nice
She seems nice
They're all very lovely
It's so funny
That's great
Proud of you
December 12th Apple TV
December 17th
December 17th
You had to do that huh
Thank you
So check that out everyone
She's part of our family
I love you guys
I love you
This is from a friend
We'll call him M
Back in 2013 I was watching my cousin
At the time he was maybe 5
He wanted to go outside and play
So I went outside with him
About 30 minutes later I was looking down at my phone
I look up and I see him with his pants down
Squatting taking a shit on the carport
In the carport what's that
I have no idea what that is
Is it like a driveway?
A carport garage
What the fuck is a casita
What the fuck is a casita man
Hey Bobby it's where you park your Tesla
You park a car
Oh that's where the Tesla
I couldn't help but laugh
And I brought him aside and cleaned him up
Completely forgetting about the shit
The next day his mom, my aunt came home
And asked me what I fed the dog
I told her I fed her dog food for dinner
Why? She told me because
The dog took the biggest shit I've ever seen
On the carport
I told her that it wasn't the dog
How long has it been?
2013
If you do something like that
Should you still tell people
Hey this guy is holding
Not even his poop
I feel like this guy should have taken a shit himself
That's more baggage
That's more baggage than
Here's the general
The bigger question is
I understand what he's saying
In your life
You've committed like a transgression
Against somebody
And you get away with it
If you tell him 5 years later
Do you come clean 5 years later?
Because I had this ex-boyfriend do this
He cheated on me for a couple years
Over the years together in my 20s
But we're friends now
And he tells me stories about women that he's hooked up
And I was like when did this happen?
He was like oh yeah it was when I was with you
Oh my god fuck you dude
So he doesn't have to do that
And I don't really have a feeling about it
But I'm just saying do you come clean?
Lying about your cousin whoever
Poot on the side of the road
Carport whatever
Whatever it is
And then them going
You lying about like
I fed the dogs
Like 5 years later
If you lied to me about that
I would be like I don't give a shit
Well that was 2018, 2021 now
I know so it's that far
You don't remember it would you?
No but I feel like he's building it up in his head now
Maybe where it's becoming a different
But no I wouldn't tell anybody
If you get away with something
And think they're just going something in your life
That's what I'm to point, thank you, thank you
They just leave it, you don't need to like
Lying is good
That's the point
Lying sometimes
It just ends it
It's a good
Let's move on from this lie
It just stays that way
Like a little white lie
I don't know Bobby with a lawyer
It's a lie you told
Yeah whatever it doesn't matter
You told people you were a lawyer
That's like a massive lie
On kicking at old school you told people
Why don't you lie
That's the carport
I've seen a carport before
A casita
Look up a casita
Like that
That's a casita
Like a gas station kind of
It's similar
So we learned a new word today too, casita
That's a nice word
And um
Really good times
I learned carport
Listen
Yes
I was really looking forward to this
I was too
And I got on the plane, I came here
And um it's better than
Ever I ever expected it
And I just really love you
A lot and you know good luck on your things
And um check out the swan movie
Yes swan song
That's what I said
I love you Bobby thank you for having me
Why don't we do a please
Let's just do a slow clap
You know we've never just
No let me start it
I feel like white dudes love slow claps
I'm trying to learn
He was foaming at the mouth
Let's go
So tell me if I'm doing it right
Because you know about slow claps
Right so
Let's give Nora round plus
Now I start it
Oh you start it
Is this like a wave then?
This is not slow
That's gonna be real long
Wooo
Wooo
Wooo
Pretty good
It's like they're realizing their own emotions through the clock
Right
Yeah I did want to do this earlier
But I wasn't feeling it
So thank you so much for being here
Thanks Nora
I love you guys
What's up everybody my name is Dwayne Hagins
And I'm singing the tiger belly song this week
Thank you to everybody
For watching and watching
And commenting nice things
And thank you to Bobby Kalila
And the whole crew
For electing me as one of the winners
So you can check out the music
My music at
DwayneHagins.com
Follow me on Instagram
And all that good stuff
Thanks guys
We'll see you in the next video
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Wooo
Woo
Oh
Woo
Woo
Woo
Woo
Woo
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