TigerBelly - Ep 323: 1000 Cuddles & Korean Elvis Returns

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Bobby is the smokers' William Wallace. Khalyla wins 30 minutes on Thursday. We talk new muppets, Bobby's hotel ban, and cuddle position timing. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. You're so weird. What? You've never met anyone whose tongue actually wriggles like a lizard quite like you. When you laugh, it's not just your uvula that's moving. Your tongue is moving like your uvula. Do you know why? They did a scientific study.

Just on you because you're the only one who has it? No, on laughter. I'm going to be real. John Hopkins did the research and they say that people that have vibrating tongues when they're laughing tend to be the best people. How come you don't vibrate that tongue on this postie, though? Hello. Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I'll tell you that right now.

Tell her. Hi, hi. You're wasting such a talent. I know. Wait, if you guys have video or close-up video of Bobby's vibrating tongue, please send him as he knows what he has. Send it to him. Yeah, I have a vibrating tongue when I laugh. See?

He did it again. You know what? I should close my mouth. How fast is it? You guys never see it. Oh, I remember that. Let me see if I can laugh with my eyes and mouth closed. No, open with your mouth open. Hey, laugh again.

Welcome, George. Are you good? Yeah. Kalyla, I love you. Welcome, Gilly. Hello. You know, I want to talk about some things in life. Something happened in the last couple of weeks. Some information that's out in the universe that has opened my mind up.

And at first I was excited about it, but then I changed my point of view about it. And I'm going to tell you what it is. Ji Young. Do you know what that is? You know what the Muppets are, Sesame Street? Yeah. I know enough. They created their first.

Oh, I saw. I saw the news. How come you didn't? I just didn't know his name was Ji Young. It's a woman. It's a female. Oh, I didn't know her name was Ji Young. It's a young Asian Muppet.

Muppet, right? That's what they call them. I thought because Aquafina posted it. Yeah. It's called Ji Young and I don't like it. I'll tell you why. Because puppeteers are these old white dudes. Oh, God.

Just hear me out. We watch a documentary. And I don't want to hit, you see these old white dudes with their hands inside a young female. What is this? Woody Allen's house? Now, I brought that whole thing up so I could tell that one joke. I have a question. And I'm trying to think it in my head.

We're done. Yeah. I mean, when this news came out, you knew who got hard, Mitch McConnell. I mean, he was, I might as well get a new one. They're making new ones. No, but I don't like. I have a question. Fine follow up question to that is like, would you, would the person holding the puppet have

to be Asian? How does it work anyways? Are they still puppeteers behind these? You think it's animatronic? Are there strings and sticks that hold them up these days? I'm not much of a puppeteer, but I'm pretty sure in this situation, there is a hand in the fucking pocket. Are they in the credits?

Probably. I've never, you know what? Because you watch the documentary. I watch Sesame Street all the time and I never wait for the end credits. Isn't that interesting? Like, I've always wanted to know what the prop guy was like. Wait, what's that famous puppeteer who's the black man who? Who does Elmo?

Yes. Yeah. He's the best. What's his name? Let me see. He's the greatest of all time to do it. Elmo puppeteer is Kevin Clash. Kevin Clash, legend.

Amazing documentary. There's a documentary about Kevin Clash. We cried. I love that dude. So my question is, we don't know who is puppeteering the Asian American Muppet or Ji Young. Well, I'm about to make a call to Sesame Street after this podcast and go make sure it's either, I'd love to see an Asian puppeteer. That wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable.

If Kevin Clash wanted to do it, would you be cool with that? Yeah, I'd be fine with that. I would be fine if you did it. They got his fucking hands inside that little Asian Muppet. They got his thick ass fucking. He's workshopping that. Grurty. Hands.

He's workshopping. I'll work it out. Let him go. I'm just workshopping a bit. Your hands would be too small to be a puppeteer. You'd have to use your green foot. All right. No.

You know, it's like her slams as of late. It's either foot or my fatness. Foot and fatness. There's only one time that I called you fat. One. There's just one picture of you in Mexico. I was like, fuck. Oh, you mean the photo that when I just arrived there,

I was just sitting on a chair and I was leaning back and my belly was out. And I was exposing my belly so that you could create laughter in the room. It wasn't really that fat. Oh, no. I just think you're eating my shit. Do you really do?

What were your last three meals? Healthy. Today. Healthy was today. Today. What did you have for brekkie? I didn't have anything, which is a good thing. Healthy.

Fasting. Yeah. Your body's resetting. Right. And today I was driving down the street and I go, didn't Oprah? I'm a big Oprah fan, by the way. I love her.

Her leadership. Okay. I think she has great leadership. Oprah highly recommended this hamburger steak. She highly recommended this hamburger store called the counter. Oh, my God. The counter's been around for...

Wait, the franchise? Oh, for the franchise. Oprah like... You're so full of shit, Bobby. I went to the counter. You're trolling us, man. I went to the counter. You're an idiot.

You don't think I went to the counter today? I know. I'm sure you did. I'm glad it wasn't fucking fud ruckers. Yeah. I went, I got... Nothing wrong with that. I got a hamburger and fries and onion rings.

What? Hamburger, fries, onion rings. Yeah. That's what I had today. What else? There were... Oh, I have avocado in there. That's healthy.

Boom, healthy fats. Yeah. There's some acids in there, right? That'll help me. Certainly. Yeah. Right? What did I have last night?

What happened last night? What? Why ate with Jean? What'd you guys do? Did they eat with Jean yesterday? No. That was the night before. What's going on?

You know what? I had to tell you what you ate last night. What? Well, I can maybe deduce what you had last night. There was like 13 different types of pastries strewn across the kitchen counter. Okay. Yeah. And then there was peanut butter out.

There was jelly out. There was butter out. There were nuts out. That was me, baby. Party. Do you know why? Why? I saw...

Whenever I see the Great British Bake Off, which is Friday night, I go into a... I'll just go to any bakery and I'll just buy bakery stuff and I'll go crazy. I think that's the greatest show I've ever made. I love this season. It's so good. I haven't watched this season. Yeah. Indians are so good.

There's always... Why are Indians so good at fucking bread? Have they won? One guy. Oh, wow. Yeah. Is my energy low? No, I think mine is.

Should we start over? No, let's keep going. I feel like the energy is low. Can we try another like sound effect intro? It's just weird. I was like... I was like bracing myself for what you'd say after you said Indian. Her whole body when you said it, why are Indians so good at making bread?

Her body went... Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why did I say that? Why did I make a cringe? No, I was scared of what you would say after you said the word Indian. Oh, you thought I was going to say Punjab or something like that? Oh, no. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I would never say Punjab. I've never said Punjab.

I have it in my life. Who was Punjab? You know who Punjab was? Who? Did you ever see Annie? Yeah. Yeah, she had one Asian chauffeur in the movie, but then he also had an Indian guy, I think he's Indian.

His name was Punjab. Oh, was he? He was mystical. Yeah. That's good. And I believe that the music was much better with him in the movie. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what that means. I think we should start over. I don't know what that means. Sack check, yeah. What? Annie. Let's get closer to Punjab. Yeah.

And he was a black guy, which is weird. Yeah. It was Kevin Clash. It was Kevin Clash. Just Punjab. Can you see who played Punjab? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's see. Is it say? Oh, played by Jeffrey Holder. Oops. He's certainly a black man. Black man. But I think back then they didn't have a lot of guys. I feel like that's when they make that kind of choice.

This is like the most racist move actually. 1982. Yeah. I don't think it's the closest they had. In 1982, there's probably... I can't tell if this is the most racist thing anyone's done or like... Is it worse if it's a white actor? Because 1982, not a lot of ethnic actors.

Yeah. So you would have to go... I mean, I think I would have gone Mexican with a tan. Right? Johnny Sanchez. Johnny Sanchez. No, he's too small. Johnny Sanchez is too small.

And he's too also creepy looking. Yeah. He'd get baggy eyes. He would freak Annie out. Fucking baggy eyes? Yeah. He doesn't have baggy eyes. He would freak Annie out.

But the greatest Annie was... You want to start over or...? No, no, no. Let's keep going. We're having... Why is my... My energy is... No, my energy is not...

It's so low. It's not. Why do you keep saying that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do something to wake each other up. You do one thing to me, I do one thing to you. He just improv game. Is it a physical thing?

It can be physical. Just don't hurt me so hard. Go ahead. No, you go first. No, you have to go first. No, because I'm going to do something really sweet and nice and then you're going to slap me in the head. Sounds physical.

Okay. Okay. All right. For the audio listeners. George, I can't speak. You tell them. I just did it. I missed it, George.

I touched your left breast. Why the left? Not the right. I was just farther to reach with my right. Oh, some more about. Yeah. I'm like, which one? This is shorter.

Okay. This is how you do your left testicle. All right. I ran up. Kala is looking at Bobby. She has both fingers. Oh, she put both. Wow.

Fingers on my nose. That woke you up. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just do something like a pinch or something. So you always go for the hard shit after. Okay, go, go, go. Go hurt me.

Hurt me. How about do a thwack? Yeah. Do a thwack. Jesus. Oh, fuck. A thwack or a punch. No.

Why do you lick your fingers? I didn't lick mine. All right. It's just so dry though. It's to help you. Don't really hurt me though, Bobby. Okay. Okay.

Ready? Ah, you're a pussy. What? Yeah. Why? My fingers hurt too. Oh, no. I didn't feel any of that.

It didn't work. It didn't work. It didn't hurt. So then last week, Aquafina was here and I recommended a movie called T-Tane. T-Tane. T-Tane. It was one of those movies, guys, we highly recommend it because it was one of those movies where Kalyla and I started it and we had to pause the movie in 10 minute increments.

Every 10 minutes. Because it got so uncomfortable and weird and I've seen crazier movies, I guess, on paper maybe back in the day, you know, but it's one of those movies where you just kind of go, you just kind of look at the heavens and you go, thank God, there's still these types of movies out there. I mean, they seem a little experimental, they seem like they're trying to open up the envelope a little bit. It seems original and weird and a lot of it doesn't make any sense in many ways.

But it is so good, it's so fun to watch. So fucked up. And it's so fucked up. It could be in the top three most fucked up movies I've ever seen. I would have to agree. Yeah. Fucked up shit. Like Saw type of shit.

No, it's even worse. Because the fucked upness has no rhyme or reason. There's no rhyme or reason. You kind of just have to accept the fucked upness without like a character arc. There is a character arc, but it's a different kind. It's almost as if God, Satan went to his son, Damien, you get a month on heaven. And Damien was like, thanks dad. That's what he sounds like, by the way.

Cute. And he goes up to heaven and he just goes straight to Hollywood and goes, I want to make a movie. Damien. I was, no. So then he goes to France. Right. And the French is like, here, that's, I mean, it's like a demon directed this movie. It's good.

I love Jesus as well. Jesus is cool. Look at that thing. The cover is kind of cool. What a great cover. And I've never met an actress that was like part, half really hot. And then half, sometimes she looks like Tony Hawk. It's a weird, weird.

Well, you'll understand when you see it, but some angles you're like, oh, I'd fuck her. And then someone's like, you mean, does somebody get bored? I would fuck both. She can ollie. I thought she was. She can ollie. I thought she was hot throughout the whole movie. Yeah.

I think she's pretty hot. Hot. She's pretty hot. She's Sarah, her body. She is tall and beautiful and gangly, kind of like, I'm going to say something about Sarah, by the way, that might make you feel uncomfortable. She's beautiful. But I, I, she's funny, love her so much, like so much.

I do too. And the friendship that we've built in the last couple months, you and Sarah has been one of, like, I just, I'm so thankful that you introduced me to her. Interesting. That's fun. Yeah. That's the fun times. That's the, that's the good news.

That's, that's makes life all flourish. I love that. I love that you're being friends with my exes, but she's also so nurturing and she's so warm. She's a crazy person. I mean, she's three in the morning, right? Where's Sarah? She comes into the bedroom in a ballerina costume.

You know what I mean? And she does a sketch. Now that's fun. Right? Yeah. Yeah. She's cute and fun. It's crazy too.

She's crazy. But so are you. So am I. I know, yeah. But I, in my heart, there's a gigantic spot for her. I don't blame you. I think in my heart now too. Yeah, yeah.

And I, in my heart, I thank God every day that I met her and I just think that she's a great person. I miss her in a weird way. There's some people that are sort of like salt of the earth, just genuine, like, you know. A mensch. Yeah, she is. A mensch.

Yeah. You never deserved her. Jesus. Why? Why? Why? This is the. Let me.

You might defend yourself. Why you deserve her. This is good. I'm fucked up. This is what got my, this is what's good. The energy. This is what got me the energy. The energy right here.

Now you got it. You tapped into it. She was always too good for you. Fuck no, she's never. She was always too good for you. Yeah. How many good Steve was too good for you? He was.

I will admit that. Okay. He absolutely was. I thought that was going to start a fight. Yeah. Your face. Your face is kind of surprised. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, throw it out there. Oh, it worked. All my exes. There's a good chance all my exes were too good for me. That's why you and I have been together so long because our, our level of fucked upness is a math. Yeah.

Like we deserve the monstrosity out of each other. I haven't been a saint in my life. You haven't either. Yeah. So it's like. You and I are both though wild. Yeah. And you have.

We're not okay. We're not okay. And we also like to act out a little bit. Act out a little bit. I act out a lot. I know you do. We act out a little bit. Let's talk about acting out.

No, we can't talk about it. We'll talk about it. A little bit. Don't be afraid. You and I definitely act out. We do act out. And I think that. But let me defend myself when it comes to Sarah though.

You don't have to. I do want to. I think that you. Number one. Here we go. Number one. Yes, if you were to open up our insides and you could you read the display in front of scientists.

Yeah. Right. The goodness inside you. Right. Okay. Lay it out there. Mine would be in like a little shot glass. Let's say goodness is a liquid form.

Okay. Like ounces. You're so good, man. It's ounces, man. Yeah. Eight ounce, 12 ounce. What a bright guy. Yeah.

I mean, I would say goodness. Right. She would have like a bucket. They would have buckets and mine would be in a shot glass. You know what I mean? But when I met her, I think. Here's. Let me just.

Can I just. Here's what's great about me? Okay. No, you want to hear? Oh yeah, I love to hear that. All right. All right. I understand.

What's great about me is number one, because I'm so needy. Right. And also that I also am very kind of, um, I take care of people. I'm generous. So generous. Right. So it's like, you know, at the time when I met Sarah, I was doing okay in my life, you know, financially and career wise as well.

She's a comedian. Right. So I was able to introduce her to different aspects of, you know, what I do, what we do. You know what I mean? As comedians, introduce her to people, you know, try to do this thing. It's like, um, I, I think that we both helped each other. You know, but I don't think it was just a one-way street. I have things to offer.

You do. Can I tell you how much you have to offer? I'm not a fuck machine. You know what I mean? You're not. You're not. No. But hey, bro, I've seen the movies.

Right. And I'm also biologically inclined to know how. Yeah. Okay. So let's move on. He knows that a climate tree you're real well. Hey, that's another slime above my size. No.

But I'm a good person, I think, but you're right. She is better than I am. Here's another. I don't know what we're talking about. She's not. Why are you acting out? What was the most recent act out to you guys? Candy.

I mean, a lot of candy. You know what? I had a, I had a cleaning lady come here and she asked me, why are there so many sunflower seeds in the ground? Oh, that's one way he acts out. He, every single package from Amazon that comes to the door. Is bags and bags of different brands of sunflower seeds. Wow.

You collect. Okay. No, that's not a collect. I try to help him out. But no, it seems as though on surface I'm collecting. Yeah. Because I have probably 52 bags. I want to show you guys a picture of the side of our, our side table, the drawer of our,

what do you call it, our nightstand? Yeah. Yeah. Why? I took a picture of it. When? When I opened it, when my mom opened it, it was just an explosion of seeds that came out. Yeah.

I thought it was only down here. No. My whole drawer is filled with sunflower seeds. And, um, yeah, I get obsessed with things. Like, I guess I get obsessed with shoot. I get obsessed with all kinds of fixates. I fixate on things. That's why it's like, when I watch a show like, I'll never bring it up, but the next

generation, I try to fixate on like what the people, like I watch things over and over again so much that I know what the background guy is doing. Like I always go, why is he going through that door? You know what I mean? He's not in engineering. You know what I mean? That's one in my head. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I mean, or like different buttons, like that button doesn't make sense. Why would they have that? You know what I mean? Yeah. That's one thing we had a little bit of a, we had a break. I learned something new about you the other day. What is it?

Are you listening? I always listen to you. I learned something new about you that kind of gave me a little bit of closure and a little bit of like more of an understanding for you. And it's like, you know, earlier you were like, I'm really generous, right? And you are in terms of giving things and experiences for people. Like you are the most generous person I've ever met. But you have almost an inability to offer like physical affection.

And we talked about this and it was like, how did your parents like reaffirm or show you love when you were younger? And you were like, they were very good at saying, I love you. Which I am. You're very good with words of affirmation. Yeah. You're very good with showing, like show, not acts of service, but like buying things. Sad, yeah.

Right? Money, money is a way of showing love. Yeah. But. Oh my God. I did this one thing. I keep thinking about. What?

Oh God. I've never wanted to talk about this. Let me say one more thing though. Yeah, go ahead. But you do not know how to receive touch. Go ahead. We're in a reception cleared. And I asked him, I was like, what does this feel like?

Because I was like rubbing his back and he was like, it feels fine. Like it's, it feels fine. And I was like, no, tell me what this really feels like. He's like, it's okay. Because growing up to me with the only kind of physical affection I got was either the violence, right? Or like the extreme of like kiss me on the lips. Oh, I see.

My dad would be like, eh, bo bo eh. That's what you're good at. You like giving random, like, hard kisses? Right, so it's like, then you go, I had to kiss my dad. She tightened up your lip like this, and you go, like that. Because if you try to, like, run your hair on his,

like, when we were at bed at night and I try to, like, touch him or anything like that, it's like he recoils, so, like, he, like, moves backwards. That's so nice. He just, or... That's loving. Or when he's sick, and I'm like, let me take care of you.

That's something I will defend for the rest of my fucking life, young lady. All right? It's just that when I'm sick, when I was a kid, right, and I'd be like, I'm sick, and they'd be like, okay, I'll be like, I'll see you in three days.

I respect it. And I lock the door in my bedroom, and I just fucking weather the storm. I respect that. I don't need massages, I don't need soup from you, I don't need echinacea or, you know, vitamin C or anything, all right? Or zinc tablets.

Yeah. No, I'll do it on my own. What I do is old school. I'll go, and I'll go to a Vaughn's, and I'll buy cloves of garlic. Stick it up your butt? Yes. Oh.

You're such a fucking animal. What's wrong with you today? You are such a fucking cloves of garlic in my butthole, baby. Oh, man. God, am I a Dracula? Is that Dracula, dude? No, you die.

You die, yeah. You die, yeah. That's what you burn off. Like a turkey or something. Yeah. So what I do is I take cloves of garlic, right? I peel them, obviously, and I chew them raw. That's hard.

Is that work? I don't know if it does, but I feel like it does. So I'll do like 10 cloves of garlic raw, and it burns your insides, right? And then I'll just put the sheet over my head, lay in the bed, and just write it out. Yeah. I'm on that same bed.

No, you're not. You're a Mrs. I'm sick. Can you make me something? So when she does that, do you? He doesn't know how. I don't know how. He doesn't know. In fact, besides popo, besides hard popos,

he doesn't know. Look, watch him. Ask him to give me a hug right now. Hey, do you mind hugging Kyla? Look, see, he closes his eyes and he goes. Oh, I get it now. Like he's shooting for a double. He's going for a double or a single leg.

Yeah, when the Japanese, you know what I mean? We're coming down in Pearl Harbor. They were closing under their eyes as well. Yeah, it's like a death for him. He's like, answering a death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's more like, give me a hug. Look at his face. Look at his face. I know, I love her. Have a genuine face. Look at the camera. I'm excited. Wait, wait, wait, what?

Say, we're watching a movie. Right, and then say. What? A cuddle. Oh, man. That's nice. It's so nice. Oh my God, I just felt it.

Thank you so much for that. It's so nice. You know what? It's like your soul is getting massaged or something. You know, in the beginning, when we first started this podcast, like years ago, he would always say, ah, you know what I love about Kaleila? Is that after sex, she would just like,

roll over and not want affection and she'd get on her phone. That couldn't have been farther from the truth. No, you're like that, but baby. You're so fucking like that. You're so fucking like that. Can you believe you're saying this out loud right now? Telling the truth.

No, baby. You know what? I was like that. I wanted to keep you so badly and this is the one thing you said. I don't cuddle, I don't like that stuff. And so I was like, I want to stay in this relationship. I want him to like me so much.

So I'm going to play the cool girl. And so after sex, I would just be like, pretend. And I'd be like. Oh, that's what you're doing? I want to be held so bad. But I said, I gave you, I said it up front. I go, I don't like it. Up front.

I never said like, oh, I'm a fucking cuddle master, baby. I got a fucking three stripes on my black belt on that shit. But it doesn't. You know what I mean? No, I was like, I don't like it. I'll do it for you. All right. And I do it for you.

When? I have. When? In the eight years? You have thousands of times. You have never cuddled with me in eight years. Are you already fucking mine? I have it so many times.

You have never cuddled with me after sex. Is it not hard to believe? Really? On the couch. On the couch. After sex. After sex. On my fucking.

Wow. On my down three. After sex, yes. You have never cuddled with me after sex. Because, can I tell you why? Get back up, all right? Because you don't know about Korean anatomy. What do you mean?

Okay. And for us, right? For you, you guys get your energy, right? From protein, correct? And carbohydrate. Am I not right? I love carbohydrate. Yeah, carbohydrate.

Koreans, right? Our energy is cheerly through our testicles. And it's based on our cum, our sperm. And we use it to make life, but we also use it for energy. So when I cum, right? I can't move. It's a physiology. It's a Korean physique.

There we go. Korean anatomy. Right? That's what I want to so badly after I cum. I go, I want it. Hug her, but I can't get her. It's the cum. Because of the cum energy.

See? Can you understand? Can you empathize now? Science alert. That makes me feel so much better. What? Now that you explained it. Thank you so much.

The cum. Yeah, what is it about? Why do women want to spend time with you all the time? It's me. The barber shop now? What is this? What is going on? A little bit over here.

Men want to be fucking be held too. I've held many men on my bosom after sex. You want to be held? I know Gilbert wants to be held. I know it. I know it. Shut up. Don't even play cool about it right now.

I like my hair being played with. Uh-huh. OK. It's worse. No, it's fantastic. George will shame this fucking sensitive, wonderful being. And also, yeah, I like the hair. I don't like the cuddle.

Because my arm, when she wants to always do that, it goes out. But you don't lay on her chest? I don't care which direction the cuddling goes. It doesn't. There's a thing. If I lay on her chest, I just go to bits. I start going like stuff like that. But what's the point of it?

George, what about you? I wonder what the point of cuddling is. Connecting. Skinting again. No, no, it's physical. It's a waste of fucking time. It's physical connection. It's a weird laying there.

It's, and you're going, what is there to do? I feel so rewarded by it. Oh, OK. I think there's a difference between, I think maybe fundamental difference between men and women. I feel love. I love you. I know you're very good at the words.

And I'll touch your foot and I say, I love you. Like crock. Yeah, yeah. George, what about you? Oh, I love to be a little spoon. See? Oh, so you do like being cuddled. OK.

What's a little spoon, man? He's on the inside of the spoon. Yeah, that way your arm doesn't like fall asleep. Do you cry to your little bitch? Oh my god. You crawl into a little fetus position, you cry, and you're fucking sweating the little bitch. Spoon me.

I've never been more alpha when I demand. No, you know what you do? No, that's not what you do. Spoon me, ladies. I know what you do. All right. After you make love. I'm not getting my hair fiddled with.

Like, come on. After you make love, dude, I know you. You start tearing up. I tear up. I know, but he does for a man, right? And his tears are like, I can't believe a woman let me do that again, right? Which is cool.

And it's to God. Because that's a freebie or whatever, right? So that's a two. I can't believe it, right? That was amazing. It's almost as if what that guy did when he, in that movie, where he climbed the mountain. Free solo.

Oh, free solo. It's the same thing, you know what I mean? Where he got up there, he was like, I can't believe I did that. It's the same feeling. So, and then he's so grateful, right? No. Look at this.

Science shows that people who love cuddling have a proven advantage over everyone else. That doesn't help. What's the, what's the advantage? Yeah, I don't, I don't want to read. Yeah, I don't want to. Good news, spooners. What?

A study first release. Turn this off. This is fucking right wing propaganda. Yeah, Steve Bannon. Fuck you. Fuck you, Bannon. So what I'm saying is, is that I'll tell you, and then when George, his wife, right?

Yeah. Looks at her and he goes, look at this little piece of shit crying like a fucking baby. That's what you think his wife says? Yeah, yeah. But she says it internally. Outwardly, it would be rude.

And he's like, and he's shaking. He's in a fetal position. He's crying, right? Little spoon. And he's like, little spoon. And she goes, fuck this, fuck. I want to say a word about what she thinks, but I can't say it.

I can't imagine your wife doing this. I know her and it's just the idea. Fucking f-word, right? And then she just, you know, she does it. But she, you know, in her head, there's a time limit. Yeah. Do you ever notice that when she does that? Oh yeah.

Three minutes tops. And then she has shit to do, like life stuff. And that cater to a weak little pussy. What? We got a weak little pussy. I'm sorry, I'm kidding. You're a good guy. And your heart is big.

And congratulations. You know what's happening tonight? Cuddling. It's a definite cuddling. No, we're not. Look, if you don't want to do a traditional cuddling, they also have to eat something. There's different types.

So you don't have to necessarily, have you done this one with her before? What's that one? Where you go behind her and you hold her. Yeah, well, we make pottery. Yeah, when we make pottery, you know, we, her and I don't know how to make pottery like the movie goes. Yeah, it's a lot of ceramics.

Right. We have the music and we do it. I go behind her and we make the pottery. So what's another position? This is an intertwining leg one. Yeah. Yeah, we do that on roller coasters. So we can lock into each other so that we don't fly out.

This is an actual conversation we have in therapy. Yeah. They're like, I'm like, so she asks me. She's like, so when does he touch you? I'm like, sometimes randomly he'll come into the room and just like physically wrestle me. And we get it. We have like a jujitsu.

That's what my dad used to do. And so that's his way of showing like quality time is he can never just hold me tenderly. It's got to be in a chokehold. It's got to be me fighting for it. Rear naked chokehold. But I always end up choking you. That's right.

You know what I mean? Wei likes it. Yeah. I'm sorry. I mean, I blame my dad. Dad. I do blame him. Oppa, sorry.

Oppa, sorry. Oh, there's other positions. So like shingles. This is the one, the common one I do, but it hurts my arm after like. No honeymoon hug is where it's at. That looks terrible. Yeah.

No honeymoon hug is the best. Go back, go back, go back, go back. What even is that? Zoom out a little bit. Oh my God. Yeah. What's, this is Bobby right here. No, I'm the cliffhanger.

I love cliffhanging. Don't you love cliffhanging? No, I want honeymoon hug. Which one's the honeymoon? Which one's that one? The second one. Zoom into that one. This is so much like inner.

That's so much commitment that. Come on, that's so sweet. That's a two minute tops position. Oh, my body would float with oxytocin so much with that. You know what, in fact, I want to throw out the, how much time I will, I'm willing to do these positions. Okay, go ahead. Let's start from the spoon.

I could do five minutes. Oh, okay. Honeymoon hug, two shingles. Oof, the bicep, bro. I know. Now, a minute. Sweetheart's cradle. I've done that before with you, babe.

That's the chest one, yeah. None of the, you've not, not any of this with me. Yes, I have. Can you confirm? Well, I have small arms and a small torso, so it looks differently. Right? But it's the same loosely tethered.

That's when we're fighting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love the leg hug. We do that. The pursuit, that's what you. Oh, that's what George does. George is the pursuit.

Yeah, yeah. Zen style. Zen style, we don't do Zen style because you don't even like your butt touching my butt. Yeah. Get the grab. I don't know. I don't know.

We have to try. Oh my god, baby. Why, it's a comedy podcast. What are we talking about? You know what I mean? I love how you try to use this medium or to get me to do it. It's like a challenge on air.

Because it's, it's, it's, I think it's the one moment in life where you get my full attention almost in terms of dialogue and stuff. It's the only moment in life I get your full attention. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, this is where you get all, all of you get my attention this way.

I have a proposal. Okay. Okay. For, you know how we did a game last time and it was for that Michelin Star restaurant? Yeah. Well, we have another game now and I think whoever wins this

gets to have control of the cuddling situation for a week. No, man. But if you, you. I'm so busy this week. I need to rest this week. I need my energy. What is it? What is it?

What's, what's the game? What's the game? What's the game? No, but if you went, we have to wager something before we even. Oh yeah. What's the game? If I went home.

If you win, no, absolutely no cuddling for the rest of our life. Holy shit. No, that's sad. No, don't cry, babe. We cuddled before and you're acting crazy right now. You never cuddled. Yeah.

In your head we have, everyone listening to right now we have. This is fucking outlandish and rude. Tell them the truth. That's the truth. I've fucking argued before. This is crazy. Play the game.

All right. So we're wagering no cuddling forever and Kalala gets to control the cuddling. No, cuddling for every day for six months. No, no, no. Jesus. That's crazy. No, no, no, no, no. Come on.

No, forget, forget. I don't want to play. I don't like to deal. I'm on one night. I don't like to deal. One night. One night of deep cuddles. Damn.

But does it have to be the night? Does it have to be the night? No, can it be Thursday, baby? Oh, that's a. We have nothing to do Thursday night. How long? How long? You see your own.

How long? It's the part of the package. How long? I need you to be like to not do this when you cut a look. No, I won't. I don't. I will do. You could tape my face.

Oh, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Okay. So you tape my face while I'm doing it. Right. And this is the face. I'll make up the face now. Show the camera.

Right. Do you like it, Kalala? Do you confirm or would you like a new face? And how are you going to? You're just not going. You're going to stroke me, right? No. That's not a part of it.

Okay. 30 minutes. Wow. 30 minutes of no stroking. Honeymoon cuddling. Give me back Honeymoon. I got to make a deal here. Okay, Ty. Well, I got to find the thing again.

All right. But if I win six months of no cuddling or attempted. Or would you like 30 minutes of something from her? No. He doesn't want any. Yeah, you know. No. So six months.

Play the game. Okay. Let's just do the game. Thursday night or six months. All right, guys. This is great. Guys, the exchange is great. This is crazy.

But I like this deal. Go ahead. All right. Go ahead. All right. We're, we'll do 10 of these. I'm George. We'll alternate like last time.

So you can't choose someone's answer. Can you zoom in? Yeah, we'll zoom in. Okay. And George, keep score. Go. All right. So the goal is these are zoomed up celebrities.

You have to guess who that is. And Bobby will start with you first. I'll go first. Is that the best way to do this? Go ahead, babe. John Travolta. No, there's no way that is. What do you think, George?

Or Bobby? I think Jeff Bridges. All right. Let's see who gets the first point. John Travolta. One point. Klyla for Kaila. Oh, fuck.

There is a focus, Bobby. Focus. Fuck. Focus. All right. Here, Bobby, you go first now. Okay. Cindy Crawford, Eva Mendes, or Marilyn Monroe.

That's a mole. That's the mole. That's Cindy Crawford. Okay. Eva Mendes. I'm a super recognizer. You picked the wrong game. You picked the wrong game.

This is a fucked up game, dude. Fuck you, dude. You have a fucking chance. Focus. I don't know, Miles. That's two. Okay. All right.

Bobby gets to go again because Klyla won. All right. We have Nigela Lawson. Nigela. Nigela. She's a chef, right? Yeah. Is that your choice?

Angelica. Well, you choose this time first. I always choose first. Or Glenn Close. This is a tough one because I'm... Oh, God. It's definitely not Angelica Houston. I was trying to throw you off.

Five more seconds. You know what? Fuck it. I think it's Glenn Close. I think it's Nigela Lawson. Boom. Back in the race. One point, Bobby.

Fuck. I didn't know Nigela's face too well. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Never heard of it. Oh, I know who this is. So easy.

Come on. What is it? We have a forehead of a man, a celebrity. I know what this is. Is it you, Law? I'm going to go first. Ray Fiennes. Klyla.

Yeah. No, you got to pick a different one. No, I can't. Yeah, you got to pick a different one. No, it's not because I have the same answer. George, Judging Rule. How does this work? Well, as long as we alternate back and forth,

you can choose the same thing. Yeah, it's throughout the line. I'll just pick whatever she's picking. That would be a draw, then. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, that one was easy because of the hairline. What is it now? It's 3-1.

What is this, George? 2-1. 2-1. 3-2. 3-2. OK, here we go. Here we go. Who is this?

We have an eyeball. This is Julianne Moore. Emma Stone. Armanda Seifried. My first? Seifried. Me first? Yeah.

I want to go with Emma Stone. 1-1. I want to go with Amanda Seifried. Here we go. Oh, Kolyla knows the lala. How many more is there? We're going to go to 10. 4-2.

We're going to go to 10. I'm done. I'm done. No, you're not. I'm cut. Focus. Come on, you got this. Bobby, go.

You know this one. We have a mouth of Mark Wahlberg. Ewan McGregor. Mark Wahlberg. Kolyla. Yeah, it is Mark Wahlberg. That is correct. That one's easy.

All right. We also have an earring and an ear. This is ridiculous. Ariana Grande. Liv Tyler or Cheryl Cole. Is that a girl from X Factor? Cheryl Cole? Yeah, Cheryl Cole.

Yeah. It's your go, babe. Go ahead, babe. Your go. I don't think that Liv Tyler would wear this earring, so I'm going to go, even though that could be Liv Tyler's face, I'm going to go with Cheryl Cole.

Bobby. Liv Tyler. Why do you always go to mine first? She tricked you. Well, it doesn't matter. Either way. I have to. OK.

Yeah, it's over. I know no one playing you. No, it's not. Come on, give the ear. I'll tell you why. Number 10. All right. There's 15 of them, you said, right there.

OK. Prince Charles. Tony Blair. Tony Blair. Martin Clunes, who I don't know who. I'm going to go Tony Blair. Collette. Ooh, it's a little too,

it's a young or old Tony Blair. Fuck, and I know they're trying to throw you off because Prince Charles does have funky ears. So it can't be that. So just offer Bobby an extra point. I'll go with what I think is the wrong answer, which is Martin Clunes. Boom, Tony Blair.

Five-three. Oh, wow. He looks so different. Yes, five-three. All right, we have a chin and a mouth. We have Andrew Scott, Ashton Kutcher, Bradley Cooper. I'll go first this time. Ashton Kutcher, 100%.

Ashton Kutcher. Boom, Todd. 100%. Good maneuver. All right, should we just stop at 10? No. Let's go. 10.

OK, we have eyes. We have John Mayer, Joe Jonas, or Orlando Bloom. John Mayer. This is very difficult. Really? Yeah, easy. It's John Mayer. Right.

OK, that was good. That one's easy. 11. 11. We have the mouth. We have Pink, Drew Barrymore, Ellie Goulding. I want to go Pink. It's definitely not Drew Barrymore.

What do you look? Oh, because the mouth. Go to the other one, baby. Come on. I'm going to go with Ellie Goulding then. OK, thank you. Fuck. I didn't even know that one.

I don't even have never heard of her before. She's a singer. Oh, here are the eyes. Come on, guys. We've got Colin Farrell, Adam Buxton, or Kit Harrington. Kit Harrington. Kit Harrington. Correct.

I know those eyes. All right. We have a mouth with Carrie Mulligan. Christina Aguilera. Oh, I probably didn't have to say this. How do you say her name? Cersei Ronan. Cersei Aguilera.

Cersei, yeah, the Irish actor. Carrie Mulligan. It's Cersei Ronan. Oh, what's up, babe? What's the score? 5-4. There we go, baby. It's 5-4.

There's no way. Yeah. Any questions starting from 13 or two points? Yeah, 5-4. 5-4. Why are you trying to let him win? I'm just trying to get 3-4. Go down, go down, go down, go down, go down, go down.

How are you telling me to keep score and then stay score? Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage. It's, Kaleila has 10 to Bobby has 8. Ooh, close. OK, here we go.

We both said Nicholas Cage for this one. Boom, correct. Goddamn it. All right, here's the last. Do you guys want to, Kaleila, you're in the leads. You get to decide. Do you want to keep this at one point or do you want to do a bonus?

Like, this is five points. No, keep it at one point, guys. Come on. I don't even know any of these. OK, here we go. Nicola Robert is a smiley face. Mr. Blobby. OK, Kaleila.

What's your guess? God, I don't know who any of these people are. What is this? It's definitely Mr. Blobby, I think. I'm going to go with fucking Nicola Roberts then. Raw. It's obviously Mr. Blobby. I don't know who that is.

It's a tie, right? Nope. It's a two point. Kaleila has one. Your phone's talking to you. Well, it looks like Kaleila, you are the winner of the grand prize of a Thursday cuddling. Thursday cuddling.

All right, Thursday we'll cuddle. I love it. Honeymoon style. Yeah. Let's talk about how you thought at first I was an athlete because I was striking and striking. And every time you... Oh, you good?

Every time... No, every time you was like, come on, babe. I remember I would fail. Do you remember that? Talk about bowling? Yeah, last night. Where did we go? Last night I went bowling.

You didn't bowl. She teed you up, bro. She teed you up for that. Is that what you wanted me to bring me up so that you could do that slam? See, last night... You don't bowl. You didn't bowl. My knee is crackety.

Okay? Every time I get up in the morning, you hear this... And my knee is a lock and there's like a cartilage or something in there that's broken up and every time I walk it hurts, right? I just didn't want to go out there. I'm so bad. You know, I look like a man who has epilepsy doing it. Like, I don't...

My body just goes one way to... I'm not so... You are one of the most agile and that's the people I've ever met. Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. That's all I wanted to hear. I'm great, huh? You're so good.

Diverse? Sometimes I think... Physically? You're so good. Thank you. Thank you so much for saying that. I fucking... To take a black ceramic ball, is that ceramic?

I don't know what a bowling ball is made of. I don't know what a bowling ball is made of. Yeah. That's a good question. And to put in other little pins... Put your little fingers in the hole? Yeah, I don't like any of it. I'm number one.

I've probably hit two pins in my life. You know what was happening yesterday? Was I was doing so well and he wasn't liking it. So he was trying to psych me out. He doesn't like to see me succeed. So what he would do is right before I would... Right before I would go... Get a strike.

What would you say? I'd say good luck, sweetie. I'm thinking of you. Can't wait for cuddles. But when I say that, when I say that it gets fucked her up and she always puts in the little alley there. The gutter. Every single time that he said,

you can do it, babe. I put it right in the gutter. What were you thinking, though? When he was... He says that. It's almost as if I was in the full concentration and then right when I was about to release the ball, he would say that.

Nice. So his timing was very off. If he had said that right before, you know, when I was still setting up, then it would be fine. Yeah. And then you just know how to like psychologically like like fuck me up, I think.

Yeah. I think I'm an asshole. I think I honestly... Like even when like people are doing well, like Corey would get a strike. Corey was killing it. He was killing it. And people were like, yeah, right?

And I'd be like, yeah. But in my head, I'm like, yeah, but I can make a thousand people laugh simultaneously. You don't go there all the time. In my head, though, I think that. Even the smallest thing like that? Yeah. So I do things good, too.

You know what I mean? Like when Corey is like, yeah, I'm a killer myself. You know what I mean? You can't let people have their shine. I don't say it out loud, right? Because if I said it out loud, then I'm a bonafide asshole, right? Like not a big deal.

I sell out. I would never do it. Let's be clear. But in my head, I'm like, this is something that I can do that you can't. Wow. Remember last week, we were talking about fighting your nature?

You're doing it again. You want to be a bonafide asshole, but you're not. By fighting my nature, right? I do fight my nature because it's like, I force myself not to say the things I want to say, right? Which is. Is that that has never been you?

I wish you would do that more. I do it all the time. If I didn't have that filter, I would have been gone a long time ago. We have a filter. Yeah, it's not that deep of a filter, right? It's a little, yeah. It's a little.

It lets in a lot of garbage and stuff like that. It's a Brita. It's a Brita, yeah. But still, there is a filter. If I said everything that popped out of my fucking head, it would be over. I would be not living here. They'd send you to the moon.

They would cancel me. Yeah, it'd be over. So that's why, obviously, I do have an editing system, you know? Yeah. But I still let things fly because I just, I'm like. What does your editing system sound like? If you were to voice that out,

what does it sound like in your brain before you're like, oh, maybe I shouldn't say that. Okay, so my head gone. What do you want to say? We'll bleep it out. Let's bleep it out. Let's give them a scenario. A scenario, okay.

No, I don't want to say what I want to say. I was just going to just tell you what the. You're watching Django Unchained. Okay, here we go. Here we go, right? No, when did I have to edit myself? Oh, yesterday. You did?

Yeah, yesterday. Let me guess where? Where? At Sebastian Manuscaubos party. Oh, you would have to edit yourself there. Oh, wait, tell everyone what was the party and what was going on. So Sebastian does these parties at his house

and he goes, and this time. I'm going to defend Sebastian and say, it was a kids' party, sweetie. Of course you have to edit yourself. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but kids weren't around. Oh, okay. Right?

So it's like, come to my, I think it was a rodeo cowboy party. Cute. So everyone's wearing cowboy rodeo gear on Sunday. No, no, I look like a henchman for the Yakuza. I mean, I look like the guy that gets the like, you know what I mean?

The energy drinks for the Yakuza. I didn't know they did that. Yeah, what they call it. Like, we're about to do a hit, you know? Red Bull. Yeah, we're cheng-cheng, and I'm the one that brings the fucking Red Bull. My point is, is that I didn't look good.

And I went there and immediately when I'm there, I see Mario Lopez and their families. It's all like Hollywood elite in terms of like entertainment, entertainment tonight type of Hollywood elite. Traditional family set up. Traditional family Hollywood set up, where there's kids and people that you definitely go, oh, there's that guy, there's that guy, there's that guy.

Yeah. But isn't people that I generally, and usually when he does his parties, right, you see other comedians. Like, oh, there's Whitney, there's Bill Burr or whatever. So I have places to go. Yeah. For some reason, there wasn't any.

So already my mind's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! Filter alert! So everything that comes out of my mouth, even a hello, goes through a gigantic process in my brain. And it's like there were many times when I was talking to Ana for a brief second. Don't say that, don't say that, don't say that.

And then that's in my head. And it's not a funny thing. Well, here's, here's why it's difficult for you and I, right? Sorry. Well, my flow is wrong. It's not going well, I'm not adding nothing. I'll add something to that. Here we go.

This is not a good one. I'll defend. Why am I like this? Here, listen to me. It's difficult for us because we don't have a nine to five corporate job where we become really good at self editing. Like we are around each other so much

and around these motherfuckers that like we're always running our mouths freely, right? So we don't get enough practice at being that type of person. So what happens is when we're thrown in these situations that require us to edit, we really do struggle where we're like, the F bombs just fly out of my mind. I can never be truly as appropriate as I should be

in those settings because I just don't get enough practice. But it's also, the culture has changed so much that now I don't know what's right or wrong. There was a time where everything was, you know, open and you just throw things against the wall, doesn't that? There are definitely things now that is, like I don't want to tell the joke, but there's a specific joke that I tell in my act

that I don't know if you're aware of that is so fucked up that like when I tell other people it they're like, you can't say that at all. But then when I do it on stage, it crushes, right? So it's just like in society, they're like saying, you can't do this. But in, when it comes to comedy, right, it's allowed. So I just, I get confused about-

I'm confused as well. You know, it's like, I can definitely say stuff right now that I can say on stage, but if I say it now on this podcast, it could definitely ruin my career. But if I did it on stage, I don't necessarily think that that would be the case, which is a strange place to be. So that's implied that you're on stage, that it's not real. It should also be implied that most of podcasting

isn't real either. It's performing. It's still a stage, you know, in and of itself. Yeah. But it's like, if I see like a heavy set Asian guy on a set, my good instinct is go, what's up Fat Chong, right? But it's a-

Good one. Good one, right? Fat Chong. Chong Fat, or I don't know what it is. I haven't thought, you know what I mean? And if they were a certain generation, if they're my generation, they're like, ha, ha, ha, yeah, you know what I mean?

But anyone like under the age of 30, it's like, that's cancelable. Yeah. It's over. Right? And so you learn these things. But, You learn to live and survive.

Can we talk about, I don't know if you want to, if we're allowed to talk about it. We don't have to mention what hotel, but you got banned from your first hotel. What? We won't even say where it happened. I'll tell you what it is. No, no, don't say the name or place.

Man, how do you- He got banned from a certain hotel. Wow. And folks, this is what we call destructive entitlement. Just watch. Tell us the story. I'm so glad you brought that up.

So I've been recently in a city where I was in a hotel. It's a hotel that I've been before many times. And this hotel has two rooms that have balconies. Okay. The rest of them do not. All right. So when I showed up at this hotel,

I go, what's up? It's me. I'm here. They go, that room that you're usually in is not available. It'll be available Saturday. So I waited. I switched room Saturday.

And as I go out to the balcony, I light a cigarette and I hear a door open. Two stories above me. And this fat white dude, who was probably 50 or 60. Excuse me, young man. This is a no smoking property or whatever. I go, what the?

I said, I think I just said, what the fuck? I looked up because I've been there so much and I've smoked so many cigarettes on that balcony. So I just went, fuck you. Yeah. And then I get a call from the hotel and they go, excuse me. No smoking.

I go, all right. But then it made me mad. So I started smoking between the room and the patio. So you're just smoking inside the room now? Yeah. So that when they roll up the window, they can't literally see. So now my, but my hand is out the window.

What the fuck, man? No, I don't want to get caught by the fat fuck. Being seen. Yeah. So now I'm kind of technically smoking inside, right? And I think that's what did it. And what do they say to you? What do they say to you?

Second phone call, like ring, ring. We got our second complaint. I go, is this the same fat fuck that complained the last time that we can't divulge that kind of information. So I go, fine, I'm not, but I can't just kept doing it. Oh man.

It's like when dice lit the cigarette up at the gate at LAX. This is the problem with you. No, just stop for a second. Let me just defend me and dice, right? Society makes these rules up, right? Someone, groups of human beings before me got together and said, based on the Bible and also our constitution,

we're going to create these rules for you, right? I'm the type of guy that looks at the rules and go, I'm all for that one. I'm all for that one. What a privilege. Not that one, right? That one is ridiculous. And so I just, that's how I live my life.

All right. Well, now argue against that. No, I already said what it was in the beginning of all this. If they said putting a lipstick. Here's what I know. Okay. Do you smoke inside this house at all?

No. Right? No, I don't. Why? Because of you. Yeah, because what would happen if you did? You destroy me, you whip me, you destroy me. And I'd rather not smoke in the house

than get your wrath. But I don't know the fat fuck two stories up. Yeah, but that is not your property, Bobby. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Now we're going to argue an argument, all right? Smoking outside on a fucking patio, right? Listen, let me defend smokers, by the way, right?

Hey, you non-smokers, you guys made a rule years ago and you said, we can no longer smoke inside hospitals and airports. And what do us smokers do? We went, you know what? You're right. We will abide by your rule, even though it's inconvenient for us,

even though you're taking away some joy, right? But now we smoke outside and it's a fucking problem too. You give them an inch, they take a mile, George, right? And you gotta draw the line somewhere. Sounds like a modern-day William Wallace to me. Oh, God, you entitled little. You know what, George? And that's why I like you.

You're right. I am the LA William Wallace, am I not? It's called freedom, my friend. And I will exercise my right and I will get banned from more fucking hotels. I'll tell you that right now. You think that's my lasting complaint? I'm fucking going to every hotel.

Who do you think you are, though? Korean Elvis. Ha ha ha ha. LA William Wallace. LA William Wallace. I think I'm Korean Elvis. That's so gross behavior, babe. I know, but what is it, honestly, though?

There are other ways to like, if you having a Napoleon complex moment and you need to flex your power and be seen and feel powerful, smoking in a hotel is not the way. Okay, I want to say this too, right? You're talking about somebody, you specifically, right? You don't know the suffering and you're going to go boo-hoo, I know.

You're going to go boo-hoo, right? I'm going to tell you something, okay? When you're five stories up. Only five? Stop for a second, all right? You'd have a case if you said 27. When we moved out of the Beachwood department to come here, right?

What was our biggest, the reason why we moved? Too many animals? No, we have three dogs, right? Yeah. Three times a day, walk down three stories and to take a walk with these dogs, right? A smoker has to go down 40 times. Oh.

My point being, though, is- That dog needs to pee and poo. I need to smoke. I need to smoke as well, as much as I need to pee and poo, right? You're right. It's like, I'm out in a fucking balcony outside, right? Not doing it inside.

Yeah, no, you're crying. The guy upstairs is the one that's crying. And I'm looking up going- That fuck's crying, yeah. And you complain, complain all you want. Kick me out of the hotel. I'm gonna give a fuck. They're just gonna put me in another hotel, fuckface.

Are you pretty sad, though, that you're banned from that hotel? Yeah, I am, I love that hotel. Is it a good one? I really love that hotel. Now he was a good one. It's been hurtful. It's a good one.

And I fucked up, right? They didn't even tell him while he was there. They told him through a friend afterwards. Oh. They told him to me through the- Through production. Production. He said, you're no longer allowed there.

Yeah. Damn. What do people on set say? I haven't been back. I flew out and then I got a call from my friend going, yeah, they banned you from the hotel. That sucks. Yeah.

I don't know how I feel about it. We should try to go back and see if they just forget. No, I wanna stay at the other place that we, her and I go to. It's better anyway. So much better. Unhelpful advice.

Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Coli. What was that? Hey guys, Jeff here. I'm 30- Hi, Jeff. Jesus, 32. I just started listening to the show a few weeks ago.

I started from the beginning and I'm on episode 112 now. Oh my God. Honestly, Bobby- People binge this? They binge like 30 episodes a week. It's crazy. Honestly, Bobby and Coli, you guys are precisely the kind of people I've always wanted to have in my life,

but I haven't been lucky enough to find. Thank you. I've made terrible choices when it comes to letting people in and I've paid dearly for it. My ex-fiance cheated with my best friend and my other friends have slowly fallen over the years. I have no friends, no love, and my family is estranged. How old is he?

32. Looking back, I don't understand how things turned out. This way. And this is embarrassing to admit, but I've fallen on hard times financially and now I'm living out of my car and I'm in debt. Oh my God. Basically, my life is complete shit.

I don't know what to do to turn things around. I realize that my mindset plays a part here. It's just so difficult to find space for hope and plan a better future when everything's looking so grim and hopeless. I know I probably shouldn't sound like a whiny bitch and I'm sorry for that. I just don't have anyone to turn to to ask for help.

Eckhart Tolle, baby. It's like, Eckhart Tolle. You know who that is? Eckhart Tolle was a man. I don't know how old he was, maybe at the same age, in his 30s, maybe late 20s. He was living in a, somewhere in Canada where it was like in a basement

and the only kind of light he had was, you know how in a basement, sometimes you get those like slivers of light, right, like right to the street or whatever. Not a lot of furniture. He's depressed. He had nothing, Eckhart Tolle. And he was so depressed in this mattress

and one day he was laying there and as he was contemplating suicide or whatever. And he created the, I mean, obviously it was a concept that we all know about. But he had a spiritual awakening when it comes to like living in the moment and having an enlightenment. And I think that at any age, you could have an enlightenment.

I think that it's just a switch of your mind, like a little switch that you turn on, right? And it shifts the way you perceive the world and you perceive what's going on around you. And once you realize what it is, what the reality of your life is, it's not that big of a deal and you can completely shift it and change it.

Don't you think? People do it all the time. I did hear something in yoga the other day that I really, really, really related to. Like you say you've lost all these people. You're like, you only lose what you cling to. Like we cling onto objects, to people, to experiences, to these things

and we bring so much meaning to it. I think that if we learn to detach a little bit and sort of like, you know, see it, watch ourselves from like a distance and like kind of put space between these things that hurt us. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it's like you haven't really lost everything.

You haven't lost those friends. You haven't lost that woman. It's just life happening. I think you talk about Buddhism a little bit. It is, that is exactly what Buddha says. It's like you only lose what you cling to, right? So it's like, I think that every day is an opportunity for you to start anew, whatever that is,

even if it's just cleaning out your car today that you live in, like those tiny little steps, but you have not lost it all. I promise you that you have a big life to live still. You're only 32. And even if you were 67, you'd still have a big life to live ahead. Greg Fitzsimmons said to me Saturday night,

I was complaining to him about stuff. And he goes, he goes, you live in fear of losing things, right, that you have, right? And I go, yeah. And he goes, well, what if those things that you have, you let them go right now? Then how do you feel now?

If you're just able to let that go? And I go, you're right. He goes, the things that are really working in your life is your podcast and stand up, right? And those are the things that you didn't stop doing, right? And these other things, you're afraid you're gonna lose them either, whatever the reasons, either get canceled

or whatever it might be. But it's like, if I let go of those things that I'm willing to lose, I think my life would be much freer and better. And I think I want to get there in my life where it's like the reality is that corporate America, even though we do fuck with corporate America, the show, but we do it in our own, in our own way

and the way we can live with it almost, right? So I just gonna let go of this other stuff, this other bullshit. I think also, how I can come to that conclusion is that, I think I've gotten a taste of whatever I thought, what I wanted or whatever, or, I always thought to myself that if I'm ever invited into a club, even if the door's small

and I'm not invited for that long, it's kind of gross. It's a gross club. It's kind of a gross club. And when I see it, I'm around it. I just kind of go, it feels icky. I can't explain it. There's an icky feeling about it. And it's like, even when I'm on set or whatever,

and like an extra or a background somebody or a guest star, you know what I mean? It's going, wow, wow, you're a nice guy. They'll say to me, wow, Bob, you're a nice guy. I didn't think you're, and I'm like, bro, this is garbage. You know what I mean? This isn't life. It really is all garbage.

I shouldn't say this. I shouldn't even say it. It's all garbage. It's all garbage. No one is better than anyone. Life is garbage. But also it's like, yes, yes. Life is garbage.

And sometimes you just have to let life happen. You have no real control over any outcomes in your life. Like, you know, the person, you could have your entire fucking life planned out and it's unlikely that you're gonna hit all of those marks. It's like, you just gotta accept, you gotta let life happen whatever way it wants to fucking happen.

Yeah, this is the worst I've ever been in a podcast. What? Yeah. I think you're brilliant. And I think your toenails are brilliant. It has its own style. Shut up. They look like voodoo.

Anyway, guys, thank you for listening. Can I recommend him a podcast? Naval Ravikant's How to Get Rich Without Getting Lucky. It's based on his tweet storm. It's, I think, two and a half hours long. George made me listen to that. Great podcast. What's it called?

How to Get Rich Without Getting Lucky. Naval Ravikant. And where do you? I think it's just at the Naval. Why is it good? Because he just touches on everything. And he's a Silicon Valley type. OK, I want to listen to it tonight.

And he not filtered at all. He doesn't. Yeah, a lot of. You listen to it? I mean, hand-listed for three hours in a car ride. So many different theories on life. But the main thing is just how to get rich without being lucky. Like how to make yourself somebody who gains wealth,

like who's attracted, where wealth is attracted to you. But in a practical sense, not one of these foofoo things. It's interesting, though, because I am in a chunk part of life, which is a miracle, where it's like I'm able to make money through nothing almost. And it's like, I guess this is all I've ever wanted, really. Just being a spot where it's like, I'm getting paid for what I just did.

What you're not good at doing is you keep forgetting the original dream. What is it? Everything that you're living today is the original dream. When I first met you eight years ago, you said, I was like, what is it that you want in your life? And you said, this, this, this, and this. Five out of five out of five you have.

I have everything. And somehow I see you on some days really struggling. And you're like, I'm really upset. This and that and that. And you're forgetting the original dream. I understand that. It's just that, you know. So Bobby, for my birthday, got this amazing dive watch.

Thank you. You're welcome. Great fucking guy. 10 points. How did you know to get that for my birthday? Well, as your boyfriend, I analyze things. And I live life with you and through you. And I know all your hopes and dreams.

And I know your hobbies. And I was thinking, God, she's out there like a warrior, like a sea warrior. That's how I always call people. I want to tell people. Anyway, so it's your sea warrior out there. And I'm like, how can she, she deserves what the greatest sea warriors and all this great sea warriors,

they always have those, those watches. And so I deduct and reduced and I got you the gift. And what did you, what was the gift? A watch. What kind of watch? A sea diving watch. What was the brand? I don't know the brand because I just went to,

you know what, actually I went to when I went about it. Who sent you the link? I Googled it. Give me the variety. Tell the truth. What? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man. You're freaking me out right now.

What the fuck are you trying to do right now? What did you ask? Your sister, man. All right? You don't call people about me? I do, I do, I do, I do. I also just want to say, by the way, the last time I went diving in Hawaii,

thank you for the watch so much. I met these amazing girls. One of, one of, one of their names is, hold on, let me say that again, cut this out. I met some amazing girls. One of them runs a dive shop called Westside Dive and Tackle and it's in Kailua. So you guys, if you need all of your dive needs at all,

go see Ginger. She's a badass diver, spearfisher woman. And I met this, so I don't know if you guys know this, but there's like, it's very intimidating for like a girl to get into that type of stuff, right? I feel so blessed that I met this woman. Her name is Reina Pasatiempo. Ooh, what a name.

And these girls are just so, they're like taking me out on dives. They're like teaching me everything I need to know and I couldn't be happier because it's not always like the friendliest community. And so I just wanted to give them a shout out. Because like, holy shit, I feel so lucky to be adopted by them.

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