TigerBelly - Ep 332: The Poto King

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Bobby joins pedicure nation. Julia Childs is Khalyla. We talk fish hell, the top 5 fruits, comic casting of Naked & Afraid, and the Lee household's new Poto King. Support us by suppo...rting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, I'm Bobby Lee. I am a human being, we're all human beings, and we're a family, a unit, and we are called Tiger Belly, and welcome to our program. We are an elitist program. No, an elite program. What's the difference? We're an elite program. We're elite and elitist.
Starting point is 00:00:44 No, we're not. We're never elitist. We can't because we're at the bottom of the food chain. Although that article came out saying that Asians are with whites now. Basically. We're a white adjacent. Bro, we should have a party. We've been waiting.
Starting point is 00:01:01 We've been waiting to be invited for fucking a thousand years. It's not me and Gilbert Asians though, it's just you Asians. I know that already. That's obvious on the clause. He's okay with that. Yeah, I'm okay with that. Thank you so much for inviting Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans to your group. There we go.
Starting point is 00:01:20 You're very welcome, Bobby. Appreciate it. A thousand years down the road, I might be able to throw a word for these guys. You know, once I'm in there and we're like, I'm doing the country club thing with you guys and drinking the. I can promise you it's not a Korean who is going to speak on behalf of a Filipino. I'm not going to speak for Filipinos. I'm going to get you two guys into our club, man. Just me and Gilbert.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Yeah. So everyone's going to be like, you brought those from. That's obvious. That's obvious. I don't want to be looked at like that. And also you're going to have jobs when you're in the group. How are we elitists? No, you're not actually a part of it, but you're going to get in by working for me.
Starting point is 00:01:55 So that's my assistant catering their parties. Yeah, that's right. We're just giving champagne to people anyway. They're white adjacent. So thank you so much, white people for inviting Asians into your club. We've been waiting for a long time. Appreciate it. I want to say something.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Congrats. Thank you. Thank you. How does it feel like up there? Oh my God, it feels so good. Take notes. Okay. So the other day I was in Irvine.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Tell us, papa. I will. And I looked at a white person in the eyes, right? And I don't know if you guys know this, but this is something, but white people can only look at immigrants in the eyes for four to five seconds. Really? Yeah. If you look at any movie, you look at Sidney Poignet and Tony Curtis in that one movie
Starting point is 00:02:39 where they were escaping from the train. Where they were in prison, I mean, where they were on a train. Trains, fine. Well, they did escape from a train. They were on a train, but they were tied together, right? And those two only looked at each other in the eyes for five seconds. That's the magic. I heard about it.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I assume. But my point is that, but now I was in Irvine and a lady looked in my eyes for eight seconds. And I was just like, I almost melted inside my heart. Yeah. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, and then I went to the grocery store and I got, coffee's cheaper. Coffee's cheaper. Baseball gloves.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Cheaper. Baseball. I went, you know, I've never bought a baseball glove before. What store are you at? Exactly. I went to Sam Goody's, man. Yeah. They did.
Starting point is 00:03:22 The Asian tax has been removed. Right. So I went to Sam Goody. I go, he's white. White adjacent. And I went to the white guy. I go, hey, can I, how much is this? Baseball glove.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Baseball glove. Yeah. He's like, just chink it out of my store. He did say that, but he gave me the glove, winked, chinked it out of the hot store and I got it for free. So thank you so much. You get a lot of perks when you're, you know, I'm sorry. I know.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I'm, I'm honestly like kind of jealous. Yeah, man. Yeah. And you get extra stuff, different stuff at restaurants like you get to salt your own food this time. No, you get salty, but you can get stuff like, like if you're at like, um, let's say you're a pizza hut and you have a white waiter and you know this and you white people never talked about this.
Starting point is 00:04:03 The thing and you go, can I get caviar? They'll get it for you at a pizza spot. Yeah. So if I go to CP or he goes to CPK, he can get a few pizzas and say, I'd like a side of caviar or get a barbecue pizza or get a pizza that that place doesn't even have like a deep dish. They'll thicken the crust. They'll thicken the crust.
Starting point is 00:04:26 They do extra shit. You know this man. Tell them. Oh yeah. You don't know the off menu. Yes. Thank you. Tell them.
Starting point is 00:04:34 It's all the rage in small town, Michigan. Yeah. Sounds good with that. Anywho, I want to tell everyone at Irvine. Thank you for coming out. What a great show. It was a Bobby Lee and Friends show. I thought that every show was packed and I really, you know, I didn't headline because
Starting point is 00:04:52 I just wanted to do a Friends show, but it felt like visiting old friends, even with the crowd. I mean, I just looking into the audience, it was like some people familiar, some not, but it would have great weekend. Thank you so much for coming out. I want to talk about something we haven't talked about on here, which is your first your very first time at the nail salon. Oh, I noticed your feet.
Starting point is 00:05:17 They are. Look at his toes. Have you seen Pa Pa's toes? What do you want to know about him? How was your experience? Why did you finally decide why did you finally say yes to me and yes to life and clean nails? Well, I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with us being invited to the thing, but I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Oh my God, you're right. Now the Vietnamese are working for me. I don't know. I like that. I like the second option. It was like one of those like, like what white people, I know what white people do when they do those things and the pedicure is you and I do this, right? We do this, right?
Starting point is 00:05:52 We sit our foot like that. Notice white people. They do this. They point. They point. Like a degrading point. They do great. Like the foot's here, right?
Starting point is 00:06:00 But they go right. They point it right on the face and they're trying to work. Okay. So I'm, I think because we were invited, but also on top of it is because my left foot was obviously notoriously bad, but in the last, since the pandemic and in the last seven months, and you know this, my, I've been trying to heal my left foot. You have every day with tea tree, with tea tree and lotions. I haven't peeled it.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I haven't eaten any of it. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's been six months. It's a little dry, but I feel confident enough to go, no, maybe 2% fungi, but not visual. Right. Right.
Starting point is 00:06:44 And also I'm invited to the club. So, you know, that's what, you know, and also I have to admit I felt fucking shame for not doing it all my whole life. How good did it feel? It's the greatest thing, dude. My finger. Dude, look at my, you, but she's been staring at my fucking fingers, bro. She hates my fingers.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Yeah. Would you say it's a turn on now? I love his hands and feet now. Yeah, man. They're so clean and shiny. And beautiful. I look like that Mexican you like. What's a Mexican?
Starting point is 00:07:15 From the movies we love. Edgar Ramirez. Gael Garcia. That's right. Oh, that's right. I do love him. Yeah. Old.
Starting point is 00:07:23 And he's in that other one we like. He's not that old. What's old? He's on a show called Old. Oh, he's on a movie called Old. It's a great movie called Old, and I like to highly recommend Old by M. Not Shyamalan. Don't do it, guys. I heard it was bad.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Beautiful masterpiece of a movie. Quite possibly. Beautiful. It's life changing. The dumbest shit I've ever seen in my life. Why? Because a beach makes you old? No, it's just...
Starting point is 00:07:48 Like, conceptually... That's the purpose. No. It is. He walked in there and goes, Beach makes you old, bro. M. Not Shyamalan. And then Apple went, okay. Do it.
Starting point is 00:07:58 It's M. Night. It's M. Night. Got to do it. That's why he walked into Apple and did that. I mean, well, I haven't had one. It's just Apple. It probably has nothing to do with anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:07 I haven't had one Apple audition. Interesting. One Apple, really. Yeah. I've had this week, two Netflix, ABC, MBC, everything. Never had a... Is there... Looking to the camera and plead to Apple.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Apple. Apple, go into my account. I'm not going to tell you my code, but you have it, right? Look at how much money I've spent over the years. I've bought every fucking album in the 70s ever made before they had Apple music. You had to buy the shit. Here's the president of Apple. Pantinkcipe on.
Starting point is 00:08:41 That's him. Steve Jobs. Tim Cook. Tim Cook. Tim Cook. Steve, Tom. Tim Cook. Tim.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Tim. Tim. Check it out, bro. I spent... Before you had Apple. Before there was fucking Spotify, I spent probably $60,000 with the buying movies. Wow. Music, right?
Starting point is 00:09:02 And then they'll just, they're like, oh, one year you could pay a little small amount, you could listen to anything! But before that, we had to pay for all that shit. Give me a show. Oh, my God. Give me a show. I wonder if you pissed. Did you piss anyone off at Apple?
Starting point is 00:09:16 That's what I'm sure. No, that's what we're talking about. You know what I mean? I've said, even if a show is available on Netflix full season, he'll still go to Apple and purchase the whole season. Yo, you're a. Oh, I will. You've seen me do that. Yeah, for all I want.
Starting point is 00:09:31 I want a lifetime membership to that show. Yeah. So Apple, please. Listen, number one, my favorite fruit. Apple. It's not Apple. It is one of mine, though. Is it the cream? It's top five.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Top five. What is banana? Yeah, here we go. You guys want to know Bobby Lee's top five fruits, bro? Yeah, banana. Fucking banana, dude, right? Tomato. Oh, you do love tomato.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Is OK. And is it a fruit? That's a good question. It depends. I don't know. We don't know, but we'll put it there. But I'm putting it there because I thought it was a trick thing. And I thought the people would be impressed that I knew tomato.
Starting point is 00:10:06 But when I said tomato, you guys didn't do anything. So I'm just going to move on. Number three, orange. Oh, love the old energy. Did I say banana already? Yeah, number one. Number one, right. Fucking Apple.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Do you know more than four fruits? I'd love to go back and forth between both of you and see how many fruits you guys can make. Let's play a game. All right, let's play a game. We're talking about banana. All right, let's play a game. Let's play a game where we go one after another.
Starting point is 00:10:31 And whoever pauses loses. Is it all you two, right? Yeah, I'm going to keep it with. No, let's do four, man. It's easier. It's faster. I don't want to spend nine hours playing a fucking game. Look, I don't want to point out that there's
Starting point is 00:10:41 a positive immigrant in this room who may name Filipino fruits that we don't know. Oh, no, no, I don't just. I'm going to say this right now. If I've never heard of it, you can't say. What the fuck? That's not true. That's the reason it is.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Oh, you want to play that game? I'm sorry that you're not cultured. I'm cultured too. Oh, you know what? I grew up when I was a kid. Doing four fruits. I grew up on certain islands off of Korea. And there are specific fruits that you've never heard of.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Game one, island off of Korea. Oh, great tourism. So talk, bro, talk, and the other talk, root fruit there. Never heard of Jeju Island? Yeah, exactly. Jeju too. Jeju is great. So here we go.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Fruit all four or no, or just two? Just start the basics. Apple, papaya, banana. Oh, we're doing all four. I thought it was two. You already lost. You already lost. You already lost.
Starting point is 00:11:23 So it's us three now. Yeah. Keep track. All right. So you're taking crack. All right. I really miss you. Lime, strawberry, lemon, kiwi, raspberry, blueberry, boys
Starting point is 00:11:35 and berry, cherry, elderberry, strawberry, passion fruit, guava, coconut. Is it fruit? Coconut fruit? Oh, you already lost. Wait, coconut's a fruit. Coconut's not a fucking fruit, you guys. What is it?
Starting point is 00:11:53 Anything I eat in Asahi is a fruit to me. Oh, no. Coconut's not a fruit. What is coconut? Is it a vegetable? I think it's not a fruit. Google it first. Google.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Google it. Google. Google it. Is coconut a fruit? And the response? If it's a seed, I think it's a seed. Oh, shit. Is coconut a seed?
Starting point is 00:12:12 It's a fibrous. It's a fibrous one-seeded droopay, or droop. It's a dry droop. It's a seed. It's a seed. Yeah. Dang it. Fucking huge seed.
Starting point is 00:12:22 I had so much. I had chico, lanzones, gullabano. That's good, because I was done. Cherimoya. I literally was gone. Gone, gone. What did we miss? I mean, there's so many we missed.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Cherry, no one. There's so many. I know, we fucked up. Cranberry. No one even said orange. Durian. Yeah, durian. Durian.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Jackfruit. Jackfruit, dude. Watermelon. Watermelon. We missed watermelon. Melon. You know who had gotten watermelon? Mango.
Starting point is 00:12:47 No one said mango. No one would all get watermelon. You don't have to. You don't have to, I don't say anything. We'd all get watermelon. You don't have to worry about that. I didn't say anything. You don't have to, just don't do that.
Starting point is 00:12:58 I didn't say anything. Yeah, you missed so many. I missed so many fruits. Let's go back to what we were saying before the fruit, so. What are your top five, though? You said banana. I already did it, man.
Starting point is 00:13:07 What were the five? I'm just saying apple. Go back to apple, all right? So apple, you're my favorite fruit, OK? You owe me money. It's true. All right? I'm willing to call it even, give me a spot, right?
Starting point is 00:13:18 Part. And that's it, OK? I did see a couple of things that I would highly recommend to people. And there was one that was life-affirming for me. And it's not funny. And it strengthened my relationship with Kalayla. It hit me in a way.
Starting point is 00:13:36 What? You know which one it is? I know now because you woke me up at 3 in the morning. Oh, my God. Asking me to watch it with you for the second time. Yeah. And I first started when it first came out and I didn't finish it, and I finished it.
Starting point is 00:13:51 I love this woman so much. And she reminds me of Kalayla, Julia Child. Oh, wow, I wasn't expecting that. I take that as such a compliment. It's such a compliment. I love Julia Childs. Bro, Julia Childs is my girl, dude. Number one, dude, OK?
Starting point is 00:14:09 Number one, she made it in her 50s, OK? I think that's such a great story, all right? So she's not like, she's just a woman that married a man who was working for the government who had lived in France, and she started taking culinary classes in France back in the day. She came back to America when her husband's job was over and they lived in Massachusetts.
Starting point is 00:14:40 And she just calls a TV show and goes, I know you guys are doing educational stuff, but I do cooking. Maybe we try, and they're like, we don't do cooking, but they tried it, became a hit. She became one of the greatest entertainer, I mean, superstars, celebrities in the world, especially the very first celebrity chef, right?
Starting point is 00:15:00 And what I love about her strength and I love about, I love strong women. I really do. And I think because of my mom, I love strong women. And I love that her husband was kind of like, took a back seat. And he was willing to drive her around and help with all the stuff on the table.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Did you take note? Well, that's the thing. You know, here's the thing, when I was watching it, I thought, could I be your handler? Well, could you be? Could I be Kalyla? Could you be that way? Could I not have a career, right?
Starting point is 00:15:38 And just to go out with you and to support you in that way, I would be so proud to do it. I would be my dream. If I became like a big time showrunner. I would just be your assistant. I would just go to travel with you to be assistant. I don't have to do it. I'd even change my look.
Starting point is 00:15:55 What would you, what would you look? I promise you this, if I got out of the business, no one would ever know who I was. I think it's impossible. No, no, it's not impossible. Oh, look at them, sweetie. Who's that? Really, I know her husband.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Yeah, I love them so much. I love them so much. What would you look, what would you, what would you, head to toe? Number one, I would do the beer transplant. OK. OK. Number two, I would do the eye.
Starting point is 00:16:21 OK. The eye colorization. Oh, yes, you go to the, oh, look at this. Yeah, I would do eye colorization. OK. Beard, eye colorization. I would do that thing he's doing, hair on the sides, ball the top.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Yeah, I think that's called like the fryer tuck. Friar tuck, yeah. I want to do a fryer tuck. Beard, colored eyes, blue. Kind of cool so far. Right, fryer tuck, right. I'm going to either lose extreme or gain extreme. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:16:50 So either I'm 86 pounds, you're going to go, oh, look at that stick. Oh, it's a human, right? Yeah. Or it's going to be, look, oh my god, it's. What were you going to say? I'm going to tell you what I'm going to say, but I want to say that I've changed my ways.
Starting point is 00:17:06 I want to tell you what I was going to say. I want to say during the New Year's, I changed my ways. And that's why I didn't say it. That was the most visual edit I've ever seen in my life. Thank you. Eric Griffin. I knew you were going to say it. I know, but the thing is, I've changed.
Starting point is 00:17:18 So I apologize. You know, in fact, I would look at Eric and the thing is like, my friend, that was the last fat joke I ever say on any podcast about you. In fact, my friend, dude, I want to say something to you. I love you very much. I think you're, you know, you're a fucked up guy. And you need to.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Anyway, that's it. Was that an apology or an attack? I can't tell. So confusing of what you were trying to say. I know, but that's what I want him to hear. That's exactly the information I want him to hear. And that's what he got. So Julia Childs.
Starting point is 00:17:58 So Julia Childs. And I, I'll tell you, can I tell you something that's real and kind of fucking depressing? I don't want to. It's I have been because when I turned 50, I started thinking about death a lot. Not in a morbid way or like a clinical way where I'm going to need to be put away somewhere.
Starting point is 00:18:23 But you know, when you turn 50, it's a big number. And you start thinking about things like, is it, you immediately think, oh, this is the end part in your head. And when I watched Julia Childs think, it was kind of in a weird way at 50, she was reborn. And you can shift and do something else completely different and live a completely different life. Here's another guy that's like that.
Starting point is 00:18:51 What's his name? The actor that was, I showed you a photo of him yesterday. He switched careers too? No. Oh, Gene Hackman. So Gene Hackman retired from acting 14 years ago. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:04 And you haven't really seen any photos really of him. And last year, you've seen a couple of photos of Gene Hackman pop up. He lives in New Mexico. He looks great. He's like 91. Yeah. He rides his bike every day.
Starting point is 00:19:16 He seems so fucking happy. And he just quit and did something else. And my point is, is that at 50, watching the Julia Childs thing, looking at Gene Hackman thing, and just thinking to myself, I was feeling so depressed and just morbid and just dark about what the next chunk is. Because I'll be honest with you, I'm still not over Bob dying. I was going to bring it up because we've
Starting point is 00:19:38 talked about it before, I don't give a fuck. I'm still not over that. It's brutal. So it's like, I don't know, just watching that documentary kind of made me go, no, man, it's not over. Something different is going to happen, and something more amazing could happen. That's what I believe.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Either with this show or with other things, who knows? But that's what the exciting thing about life is. You don't know. For both you and your heart, if say you weren't in entertainment, let's say 10 years down the line, what would be ideal for you? Not even ideal. What do you think you could be doing if it's not in this thing?
Starting point is 00:20:11 I've been cooking. Oh, yeah. I've been cooking a lot. I'm going to send you guys text messages, text messages, exchanges between Bobbie and I when I'm not at home, and he calls himself the Potokin. I'm Potokin? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:27 What's Potokin? Potokin, because he has been learning to bake potatoes. Potokin. Potokin is here. Yeah, but I've never made a good one. Oh, that's your life's mission right now. Yeah. So I go, I did a Potokin.
Starting point is 00:20:40 I have photos of it. Yeah, I take photos of it. I think I'll show you a photo. Can you walk me to the process? He's baked. Are we doing tricep? Gricep. Baked.
Starting point is 00:20:47 But then you know what he keeps forgetting, Gil? Butter. No. It's like, it's still so hard. I was like, wrap it in tin foil. Oh, foil to keep the heat in. So this is one of them. That one looks good.
Starting point is 00:20:58 With bacon, I see. Is it topping? There's some bacon, cheese, tomato, chunks of tomato, sour cream, all the trimmings. And I've also been making this. There's one Mr. Potokin in the oven. We do want potatoes. Is it another Potokin?
Starting point is 00:21:14 He just does one Potokin at a time. Here's, check this out though. Can you please post these online? Right, so this is me preparing the Potokin. Potokin, I mean? Potokin. Right, but check this out. All right, but I've been making this, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:24 And you're going to go, what the fuck? What are you? Look at this, this. Wait, what is that? Is that a? It's like a scramble within a slice of bread. Yeah. So I went on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:21:36 I went on YouTube and I went eggs. And I go eggs and bread, because that's all I had. And I looked at some of the videos and I go, I've never cooked anything in my fucking life, right? I remember doing, I did a cooking movie with that pop star. I forgot it's Henry. It was in Thailand. And they gave me two months cooking training to make it.
Starting point is 00:21:59 The director goes, Pappy, she's Korean. So I'm going to do the accent. Pappy, very important, okay? You don't have to do nothing. I got you 15 standing with your hand, everything, right? Like, you know, just six months from now where we shoot, just do one omelet. One what?
Starting point is 00:22:15 One omelet. One omelet? Yeah. Omelet, omelet. That's what she said. Omelet. And I go, I trained to that camera. High depth, everything, you know, three hours.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Wait, do you have to flip the omelet? Flip down, again, again, they got, I stand in. I almost got fired from the thing. So in my head, I'm like, I can't do it, right? So by looking at YouTube now, I decided that, you know what I mean? I like that director, right? I like that movie, whatever it's called, right?
Starting point is 00:22:48 But I'm not going to let her bring me down, right? I'm going to fight for my right to be a chef, man, right? So I've been looking at videos and I've been killing it. I'll tell you how to make the fucking, can I tell you how to make it? Yeah. I can be my own Julia Childs. You could.
Starting point is 00:23:03 You want to start a cooking channel? Yeah. So what you talking about? That was on, that was French something else. Hey, I'm here to talk about. Kermit. I'm here. You say that was French Montana.
Starting point is 00:23:17 I'm here to talk about. Hey everybody, I'm here to talk about making, I'm just going to do my regular voice. What you do is, what I do is I go to Korea town and I'll go to a Korea town bakery, right? Because in Korea town, they make loaves, my Korean Asian bread is bigger and fluffier. And the crust are thicker.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Complex. You got to fucking think it through, man. That's why I don't go to no vans and get no fucking Wonder Bread, bro. I think it through, I go to the fuck. Why are you nodding your head? Am I being too long? No.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Paris Baguette. Paris Baguette. Paris Baguette, I'll go that. So when I do it, then I'll go to the grocery store. We already have eggs. We always have eggs. In fact, we have more eggs than the grocery store. Why do you guys have so many eggs?
Starting point is 00:24:01 It's probably true. We always just have two dozen. Wow, that's a lot. We have 46 eggs right now. I bet you, I put a million dollars on it. Damn. Really? Yeah, anyway, so anyway.
Starting point is 00:24:11 I'll take that million. I'll take the million. So I was like 14 this morning. So what I do is this, okay? What I do is I take Mexican cheese. Okay. So you go to the store by Mexican cheese. There's four different cheeses in there, okay?
Starting point is 00:24:23 And then you get bacon, green onions. I use a little green pepper, although it's big and I use it a lot. Maybe next time I won't use it. I use little mushrooms, sliced little tomatoes, but the little tiny tomatoes. I'll do three or four of them. And so with those, I'll two eggs, mix it, right?
Starting point is 00:24:45 And then on the side, I'm chopping up all the things, right? I'll saute the vegetables first, right? On a saber pan, I'll cook the meat, right? I'll chop everything up, chop all the vegetables and all this up. Then I put it back in the egg batter and I'll mix that. Meanwhile, I have another pan, a plate. This is blowing my mind.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Why? I didn't think you cook like this, because I cook like this. Are we adding this part? Or should I keep going? No, like this is blowing my mind. So on another plate, what I do is I, what you do is you take a slice of bread
Starting point is 00:25:15 and you cut it out, but you have to cut it out nicely because you're gonna use the middle part again, all right? So you, clinically, right? Cut it out. So now you have only the edges of the bread. All the white gooey middle is now off the side, right? You put it on a pan, right? Put a little butter, all right?
Starting point is 00:25:36 Great. And then what you do is you put it in low heat and then you pour the stuff in it, right? But not all the way though, you know? Not all the way. Maybe three quarters of the way, okay? I'll tell you the reason why. You need room for cheese.
Starting point is 00:25:54 You also need room for the other chunk of bread that you had put off the side. Do you understand? That's still your friend and that's still a part of the meal. The extra little. What did I just say, pal? A little extra one.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Yeah, still a friend. In fact, if I had an acting, a cooking class, that's how I would talk to you. What did I say, pal? Exactly. Listen, pay attention, man. This'll change your life. Yes, chef.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Okay. See, it feels good already. So then what you do is this, okay? You cook it, right? Then you flip it, cook it, right? Flip it back over and then you put cheese, right? And then on it, right?
Starting point is 00:26:28 In the gap. And then you put the bread back in, right? So the cheese uses as adhesive to the right of the, right? You keep flipping it back and forth and now you have a piece of bread, but in the middle is this beautiful, eggy, cheesy thing. You know what I mean? I've made about two or three of them.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Claw, have you eaten this? Oh yeah. Yeah, they're good too. They're really good. They're perfect. So I've been doing that while I've been also doing, what else have I been doing? Yeah, what else have you been cooking?
Starting point is 00:26:55 Just those two things, poto and the bread omelette. There's one else thing. Oh, I failed on one. What was it? I thought you had to cook rice. I learned how to cook rice. And I'm also learning how to cook. No, but I've learned how to, eggs?
Starting point is 00:27:09 Not just that, not just that. Scrambled eggs? Yeah. But in a French way. Not in the way you taught. Is that the Gordon Ramsay where you keep? I have the best way. That's so hard.
Starting point is 00:27:20 But anyway, I've been learning how to do that through the YouTubes, you know what I mean? But I've been doing that. And I, it's like again, if Julia can do it, maybe I can. Yeah, there are open auditions right now for Masterchef the next season. It's in the fall. Well, there's opening auditions.
Starting point is 00:27:35 And here's the thing. Please God. No, here's the thing. Masterchef, no, that's not it. This is a real thing. And in fact, I didn't want to do a podcast today. The whole reason why I'm here is to do a intervention and to propose an idea.
Starting point is 00:27:49 OK. So there was this woman by the name of Kathleen Maggi. She's a nice lady, lover. She used to be T.G. Miller's assistant. That's how I know Kathleen. She now is casting the show, Naked and Afraid. Oh, wow. And you know, Kalyla's been in Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Kalyla's been, she's been freehand spearfishing. Freehand? Freehand spearfishing. I don't know what that means. I like the organic, old ancestors of old. Like Mayan way. Mayan way, what they used to do. Freehand spearfishing.
Starting point is 00:28:26 The Mayan. All right, she's been doing there. Wake up five in the morning, going into a cove. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what she does. She puts in the equipment. She puts on a watch to show depth, to show temperature,
Starting point is 00:28:36 to show what do you call it? The shifts in energy. What do they call it? Current. Current. I call it shifts of energy. I like shifts of energy. Some people call it current.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Yeah. Right? So she deals with all that murky waters, tsunamis. They had a warning the other day from Haiti, whatever, or Tonga. I was about to die. Tonga, the kid. She said, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:28:53 And they were like, tsunami warning. And I was like, oh, OK. So my idea, everyone, listen, is this, OK? Kalyla. All right, is athletic? Naked, she'll kill it. Listen, I've seen her naked body. I just, I just wasn't.
Starting point is 00:29:07 I'm not saying this is not, this is not, I'm not. I'm not saying, babe, I'm telling you. I don't think that's a rating on naked and afraid. Like at the end, like. Shut the fuck up, Georgie. Yes, I. Finish what I have to say. It's not PSI.
Starting point is 00:29:17 10. It's not a part of the PSI. 10 for naked. But can I say something right now? There was one, there was a couple of girls and a couple of guys on that show. Yeah. When they turned around and they showed their bare ass,
Starting point is 00:29:27 I'm sorry, you said to yourself inside your head, that's a nice ass. And that's all I'm saying. All right, that she, when she is naked, people will be excited to see her. The episode will. The episode. Good ratings.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Number two, I think she can win. Do you think you can win? Win what? They don't win anything but a PSI rating. I want you to, baby, imagine that. You know how hard it is to get your PSI from 8.2 to 8.4? So hard. It's so fucking.
Starting point is 00:29:55 You could spend a lifetime and that meter does not move. All right. You do one naked and afraid. You can move three fucking meters. Right. That's right. Yeah. You and I have been trying to move our PSI for how long?
Starting point is 00:30:06 Our whole lives. And then we went to fucking. Are you somebody? We tried to get our PSAs raised and the guys said no. Wait, it was Joshua Cherry. That was Joshua Cherry, right? Yeah, we did it. He's 70.
Starting point is 00:30:13 We did it, right? So my point is, is that so Catherine Maggi, check it out, right? Yeah. She is a pro athlete, right? Number two, kind of a celeb. Number three, she can do it. She has the strength, the skill set, she can do it.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Is she going to do it? She said no 15 times already. You know what I mean? But maybe we can convince her. Wait, here's my thing. I didn't. Like this would only be for your entertainment. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Like you. Everything's for my entertainment. Just so you could see me suffer. I need it. I need to see. Because also, the guarantee that they'll place me in a warm coastal area where I can actually fish is not 100%. But that's, that's a thing.
Starting point is 00:30:57 If you throw me into a cold mountain, I'm done for. I am so cold and tolerant. But you just saying that right now is what I wanted. For me to be at fucked? No. You just threw that information out there, right? In their heads, they're like, what if they're Kathleen or somebody's listening right now?
Starting point is 00:31:16 And they're like, holy fuck, we have an island coming up. This is fucking perfect. We have a question for you. Yeah, yeah. So listen. Nick and Alfred, can you bring two things? Yes. And what extent?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Like, can I be like, I know they'll probably won't let me bring my spear gun, because then I can just shoot fish all day. You can bring it. But then you won't. But can I bring a pole spear? Like just a three prong. Like my gun is a powerful thing.
Starting point is 00:31:39 I can obviously catch fish easy that way. But pole spear is a little bit. Do they give you a fire starter already? No, but my partner can then, you know, I can rely on my partner to bring the fire starter and then the pot or a knife, right? But not only that, but think of this, though. Think of you're on that show, right?
Starting point is 00:32:00 You already, you know what I mean? You already then exceeded Annie, Esther, Christine Pofinsky, any of these female fucking podcasters. You would then become the queen of everything. Of nothing. Of comedy. Of PSI's. No, of PSI's.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Naked PSI. Right. And also, can I say this? Us three watching, because they ended it. It's not like we're watching it live. You're going to be back. We're going to watch it together. You do realize I suffer from like extreme depression, right?
Starting point is 00:32:30 I know, exactly. So what I'm saying to you is this. Exactly. Exactly. So this is the deal. This is the deal, right? I'm going to tell you right before you leave, I'm going to go, please make it to day three.
Starting point is 00:32:41 All we need is, all we need is, because day three, right? You still, if you're going to watch A Naked Afraid, you're still going to make 40% of the show, right? So just make day three, come home. We'll have a laugh. Yeah. We'll have a little party, right? Also COVID.
Starting point is 00:32:57 There's nobody out there. You're going to be by yourself. Perfect. You're right. What do you think are my weaknesses, though? You've named all my strengths. Where do you think I'll fail? Mosquitoes.
Starting point is 00:33:06 No, mosquitoes don't get me. OK. Your heart condition? OK, no. The anxiety would get me. Anxiety. Yeah, the anxiety would do. And also I think that it would really
Starting point is 00:33:17 be important who your partner is. Right, because if I have a real big gruff macho dude who thinks he's better than me. OK, let me throw out some names that we know. We all know from our podcast, right? And see if, and it has nothing to do with them as a person. It just has to do with, can I survive on an island with them? Are you sure?
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah. All right, so I'm going to just throw you two names and you go which one you would prefer. OK. OK. George or Gilbert? Oh. You should tell her how George didn't
Starting point is 00:33:49 believe I could start a fire on my own in Joshua Tree. I actually, this is a really tough one, because I feel like I need them for two different things. Like, I need Gilbert for, he's like a big mood lifter for me. And he keeps me hyped and he keeps me going. But I think in terms of just like wilderness training, I would probably go with George. I would go with George hands down.
Starting point is 00:34:15 There's not even a fucking a question of. Don't you want to laugh? I do want to laugh. Here's what I would do that George wouldn't at night. I would slowly cut off to you and just move my head. No, no, no. I would do that too. I would do that too.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I don't want that. Wait, OK. I don't want your fucking whatever that ex machete you have on your fucking skin. No, I have my answer now. Fucking gross. Ultimately, I have to choose a partner that I'm willing to cuddle.
Starting point is 00:34:40 And so I think I'll choose Gilbert. That's true. That's true. I'm more comfortable. That's true. That's true. And I'll choose Bobby because I would cuddle him. He's a great, he's a horrible cuddler.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Terrible. I'm the worst. You'll never cuddle me. Yeah, I'd have to be dead. What if the producer see George cuddling my dead body? Wait, you died because of him cuddling? Because of him cuddling? All right, so how about this?
Starting point is 00:35:04 Let's do some guests, then. I'll even pull up the. All right, let's do some guests. Who would be better for you? David Spade or Anthony Jesalek? Oh, god. The two worst. OK, so David Spade or Anthony Jesalek?
Starting point is 00:35:23 Just put me in there alone. No, no, you have to choose. David Spade or Anthony Jesalek? I think Spade because he's a little bit closer to personality to you and I can handle him. Jesalek would be probably more of like a boss. Yeah. And then he'd be like, more fish, bitch, kind of.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. More fish, bitch. That's what he would. And then, you know, he and then I'd get him a fish and he'd be like, this isn't sashimi grade. Is what I think. That's him. That's him 100%.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Yeah. And so then I can I feel like Spade would just eat whatever fish I give him. No, no, no, no, that's not impossible. I mean, Spade is who to choose between Jesalek and Spade. His palate is so sophisticated of all the people I would want to go. If I were to want to go to an island with somebody, it would be Sterling.
Starting point is 00:36:18 A thousand percent. That's fucking bullshit. And probably your show. Oh, look at how fucking opportunistic she is 20. I want to do like a pitch my show. Twenty eight days later, she sells. No, no, no, forget. Turn this off.
Starting point is 00:36:32 I don't want to go by this. OK, and my second. Who's Sarah? How about this, Rick Glassman? OK, OK. How about Rick Glassman or Michael Bisping? Michael Bisping. That's a no brainer.
Starting point is 00:36:46 No brainer. That's pretty intense. Michael, Michael Bisping is a doer, a go getter and a survivor. Oh, yeah, he would build a pole. He would build us the best things. And he would be like, he would be so grateful for that fish. Yeah. I'm thinking about some about Rick
Starting point is 00:36:58 Glassman or my brother. I would choose your brother. Why? I think that your brother is a hard worker. And he would say, Kalei, the fish. Oh, yeah, you'd be so excited. He would be so excited. Look, that's my only contribution.
Starting point is 00:37:13 It's all about the fish. It's going to be so excited. It's going to be an eel or a fish. Yeah. And then that's the only thing we're eating. We're going to ask me who would I would do. OK. Give me two.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Godfrey or Judd Apatow? Bobby, keep in mind, you also got a career. You also got a career after this show. But in Godfrey, though, that guy is Godfrey. OK. Wow. 100%. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Yeah, there's no way. Because I can't be myself. I'll be naked with Judd Apatow, right? Covering yourself. Right? And just lying to him constantly. So you say he builds like a hut, right? And you see it's terrible craftsmanship.
Starting point is 00:37:52 You would say, looks great. Perfect. And I would do stuff like this all three. You should really think about being an engineer or like an architect, right? To feed into his ego. You think so? Yeah, I thought about that.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Yeah. I mean, you're a captain of the ship. Anyway, that's what a director is. Oh, my god. He like beats the biggest kiss ass, right? With Godfrey, I'd be like, get the fucking coconut now. Would you be, wouldn't it be intimidating to be naked for 21 days next to Godfrey?
Starting point is 00:38:21 Yeah, that's tough. In front of a cameraman? Think about it. That's a shiny black body. Must. You got a big dick, right? Oh, then your dick has to be next to him in front of the crew for 28 days.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Yeah, but dude, check it out, dude. I hate mosquitoes. They do get to. They're going to be eating that guy's dick all day long. What has more blood? Yeah, yeah, yeah. His dick is going to look like fucking a runover Polish sausage.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Like it's going to be just fucked up. I'm going to be like, dang, look at my clit. My clit's going to have one mosquito bite on it. On the chip, right? I'm like, one mosquito got yours is fucking dead, dude. It's got all kinds of diseases. I don't know what's. Give me two more names and we'll move on.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Oh, my gosh. I'm trying to get a female guess because that's he probably paired up with the female. I mean, obviously you have Miss Pat, right? Oh, Miss Pat. Miss Pat or who? Oh, who's another? Who can match up?
Starting point is 00:39:17 That's it. You don't have to give me another name. It's Miss Pat. I'll tell you why. Can I tell you why? And this is 100%. I'm not even fucking lying. This is not a joke.
Starting point is 00:39:27 It's not an exaggeration. This is probably pretty much the truth. Miss Pat and I, but we'll probably last one or two hours on whatever we send us, right? But that whole show, it will be the funniest thing you've ever seen. I agree. I'm not even, it's not even a joke.
Starting point is 00:39:42 It's will be the funniest thing that it was ever recorded. Right? It's it. That's it. There's just certain people that if you put like even like Nick Swartzen, there's just certain people that if you put in a situation, you just kind of want to see what happens. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:39:59 And he's like one of them. Anyway, would you like to see how many days you would last? There's a quiz that tells you based on how you answer. Yeah. How many days you would last on Naked and the Fright. OK. All right. First question, you've just been dropped off
Starting point is 00:40:10 in the middle of the jungle naked. What's priority number one for you? Plenty full of water supply, easy access to food, clothes, fire or shelter? Shelter for me. For me is fire. OK. Remember, we'll just do Bobby's seat.
Starting point is 00:40:24 OK. Because he. Lines fire? Fire. OK. Next question. You and your partner have eaten, haven't eaten in days. The plants around you are mostly unfamiliar.
Starting point is 00:40:32 You are starving, but what do you do? I can't read it. Grab the nearest plant and go for it. Better something that, yeah. Grab the nearest plant and go for it. Don't eat, I can't even read it. Don't eat it unless you're sure it's safe. Have your partner eat the plant first and see what happens.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Lick it and see what happens. Second. Ooh. Lick it? No, the second. Don't eat anything unless you're sure it's safe. This is how much outdoor experience do you have? Which one of these?
Starting point is 00:41:00 This is where I lose. You watch nature shows on TV. You are doing dog. You take your dog for walks, hunting, gathering, and building. That's colloid. I'm two. OK.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Just give me the dog walking thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get the dog walking thing. Which survival item would you bring? It was going to fire starter, machete, pot, cell phone, or duct tape. Duct tape is good. I didn't think about that one. But for me, it'd be a fire starter. Pot, machete.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Fire, fire, fire. But pot. Water. That thing is water. Can you get water? Yeah, but you can get things that mimic a pot that can serve as a pot. Yeah, but you can also start a fire without a fire starter. If you are in a very humid area, you do not.
Starting point is 00:41:37 It's so hard to do the bow drill fire. You need a fire starter. What do you think? Yeah, but it depends on who I'm with. You know what I mean? With claw for all this. I mean, if I was with like Brendon Shaw with this big fucking, you know what I mean, mongo feet.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Brendon Shaw would put the stick between his mongo feet and do some mongo thing. A bow drill in the way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not if you're in like, what if it's raining? You couldn't do it. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Flint, go move on. OK. You have a bad cut and you are stranded in the jungle. What do you do? Clean it with river water, clean it with boiled water, tap out. You'd rather not risk an infection or keep moving to avoid exposing it to the mosquitoes. Four.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Interesting. No. You haven't seen water in days. When you finally find some, what do you do? Start drinking it. Try finding a way to purify it. You craft something to hold your water. Two.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Then do the fire. Oh, two. Oh, babe. You find some, what's the number two? Have you ever built a primitive fire using nature's resources, hunted, gathered, prepared your own meals, crafted a spear or knife? None of the above.
Starting point is 00:42:39 None. You've been eating alive by mosquitoes. Morales down. What do you do? Tap out, no big deal, build a smoky fire and cover yourself in mud. Try to distract yourself by staying positive. The mud thing.
Starting point is 00:42:52 OK. That's a good one. Can you build a fire from scratch? No. Barbecue? No. OK. I don't know which one it is.
Starting point is 00:43:03 All you have, the third one, all you have to do is rub two sticks together, right? That's not just what he just said. That's true, that's true. OK. Thanks for playing. You would last 15 days. That's out of 30.
Starting point is 00:43:17 It's pretty good. Thanks, man. That's pretty good. Congrats. Thanks, man. I would say, Claude, you're probably like 22 days. No way. You guys really overestimate me.
Starting point is 00:43:25 So so Kathleen, make sure you catch me or you direct message me, we're going to make that happen. I'm being real. I'm not fucking around anymore, you guys. I'm not fucking around. We really need to get you out there. In the wild for no money. But it's not about money.
Starting point is 00:43:38 It's prestige. I'll tell you what, can I say something? And she's my Julia Childs, and she really is. I just need the world to go see her. I think this next 10 years is your time, man. Yeah, but can it not start by being naked and afraid somewhere? That's true. That's the start?
Starting point is 00:43:57 That's true, that's true, that's true, that's true, that's true. This is perfect because the naked and afraid thing, I know you're like, you think it's a joke. I'm not, I'm being serious. But I also want to talk to you about what you're going to do when you go to hell. For what? There's a fish hell.
Starting point is 00:44:19 There's a fish hell. I see where we're going. There's got to be a fish hell. In fact, I think there's a thing where you go to heaven, but once a week, you got to go to a fish hell. Why am I going to hell? Because you murder fathers going to work. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:44:34 Mothers. Like they have to go to the coral to get the package, to bring it for Luis, brings it back. All of a sudden, he's pinned against a rock with a spear through his gut. I have a question. Why is it what I do, which is I drop down, I hold my breath, I use my body, I shoot one fish, I eat that, I cook that fish,
Starting point is 00:44:56 I scale and gut it myself. I cook that fish later on that night. Why is that worse than you just grabbing your sushi from cold foods just now? Because this is a comedy podcast. I was just trying to. Come over there. I was just trying to come over with an ankle.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Because Amira Kay, Amira Kay, who did my show, Nervine, he has a pole. And he goes every day and he's fishes. But he, pole fishes. But he gets deep, like huge orange things, like crazy. Oh, I should hit him up. You should hit him up. He's great.
Starting point is 00:45:33 But he has his boat and he fixes it every day. He's by the harbor every day fixing it up. And he goes, my life completely changed. He goes, I've never felt happier out there. He goes, he's out. He doesn't fish like you do. He likes being on a boat and fixing it up with a motor. But he likes being out there, fishing, eating the seafood.
Starting point is 00:45:54 He loves it. I think it's just the most, obviously, I understand that it's a privilege for someone like me to have the time and then those spearguns are not cheap, to have the time, the money, the equipment to do something like that. But yes, I do kind of feel like it changed my life completely. Like I'm kind of relatively new to it.
Starting point is 00:46:14 You knew you'd be a great fisherman. Who? And you might think this is a joke and you're going to balk at it. What? D-Trump. D-Trump. I think Donald Trump is a great fisherman.
Starting point is 00:46:26 You know, what are the attributes? You know what he would do? He would do what he did for the hurricane. Remember he proposed that he was going to nuke a hurricane? Right? He could do that to the ocean. So imagine his idea. That's just dynamite fishing.
Starting point is 00:46:40 You dig a nuke in a bomb, put it on the ocean. That's my, that's my, fuck you. I tried to fucking, I tried to trumpet pressure, it didn't work. I thought it was pretty bad. I took a risk. It was like that. It was like, Mar- I took a risk, it didn't work. It was like that, Marlon Brando.
Starting point is 00:46:59 It was a mixture of stuff. It was like, it was more Marlon. Yeah, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon. But I'm sorry, but that's what he does. I'm going to fish hell. I will say that I do, I just want to say that I- How was I on a sketch show? I, that that will be a mystery that no one will ever
Starting point is 00:47:17 be able to answer. I thought you were great on a sketch show. You were. I do, I do feel sad. Okay, when I get those fish. So when you, when you hit one, do they do a, do they make a noise? Um, I've been lately, I've been, the last time I went out, I was really, really conscious about my shot placement and unless I got like a shot where I
Starting point is 00:47:43 know it would brain them right away, I didn't take the shot. In the beginning, I was just shooting, like still learning. Um, but what I do is if I don't get them right in the brain and they're still flapping, then I grab the fish and I, I brain it myself with a knife immediately. I don't let them die slowly, but I do feel a sense of sadness, but I think that sadness is more like I'm connected to my food. And I do understand it.
Starting point is 00:48:11 It's a privilege guys. I know that everyone can do that. Yeah, yeah, not everyone can do that. If I was a guy, if I did, went down, they would, the fish would know me as something else. What would they know you as? Trauma King. What?
Starting point is 00:48:20 I would just be there. Trauma King. Traumatized. You would just shoot, shoot, shoot. I wouldn't kill them. I would name them. How? But I would just hit a shoulder and I would just go down everything.
Starting point is 00:48:30 And they just know I'm there. You're going to fish hell. Yeah, yeah. And I see the, I see the fucking fish I hit in the shoulder, right? He's fish and he's kind of like behind the coral looking at me. And I just go, what's up? Fish shoulder. Dude, I'm telling you guys, fish are intelligent as fuck.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Oh yeah. They're so fucking smart. She's one of those. I've seen this movie. Yeah, I saw that movie too. They were smart in that movie. So fucking smart. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:48:52 They're so smart. Babe, I bow down to them. I respect. You know, I love when they tried it, when people try to take an animal, right, or something, and they just give it some positive twist, like, like you crush an ant. Well, no, they can carry 16 times their body mass and this and that. It's like, like a B, right?
Starting point is 00:49:13 Yeah, B, you know what I mean? Or how important they are to the thing if you'd kill it, you know? I'm sorry, I killed it. I fucked it up. Oh, I killed a bee. I've never even killed a spider in my life. She's like one of those. She's one of those like pre capture it.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Take it outside. Escorted out spiders. I do the same thing. You know what I do? I take it outside and then I kill it. You know what you're right. Because they think I'm free. Trauma King.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Trauma King, baby. Dang, that's fucked up. Traumatizing things around. Masterclass. You guys masterclass. When I, a couple of years ago, when I first saw the first ad to masterclass, I literally thought to myself, oh, that's going to cost $50,000. Like it seemed because they had the level of teachers on there is at the top.
Starting point is 00:50:03 Like I saw, because we, you know, we have masterclass people. We know that's on our podcast, Judd Apatow did it. So I saw Judds. It was amazing. There he is. Look at how handsome he is. I love you, Judd. I love your lips.
Starting point is 00:50:15 And the second one I want to watch is the Steve Martin one. But I'm going to say something. By watching the Judd one, I learned so much. And which one did you want to learn? I will know. I already took it. It's the Issa Rae one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:28 And it, like, I always thought that I was like capable of a writer to a point, but all of her tidbits just really added that extra like level of knowledge that I didn't have. But yeah, like everything from like creating characters that are more grounded in real life instead of like creating them like off the top of my head was super helpful. But but yeah, masterclass, they have everything from they have classes for everything, food, science and tech, music from Ringo Starr.
Starting point is 00:50:59 Ringo. Rich, no, Rich Voss. Rich, Richie. Chris Voss, my favorite one. Yes, not Rich Voss. Chris Voss about what the art of negotiating. Art of negotiating. Anyway, guys, check out masterclass, man.
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Starting point is 00:52:06 But I've been, you know, I'm about to do a, I can be cryptic, maybe cryptic. I feel like everyone listened to some exciting things going on with us. And there's some deep changes and some weird revelations and stuff that I can't wait for you guys to hear about in 2023. It's going to be, you're going to be like, what the fuck? 2023? What year is it? No, 2022.
Starting point is 00:52:30 We're not in 23 yet. No, that's like 10. Oh, that's when I'm going to tour. Yes. Oh, yeah. 2022. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but some exciting things are going to happen, man. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:52:43 And then, but you know who I would probably never do naked and fray with? Who? Santino. Oh, yeah, you guys know what? Interesting. I think we would kill each other. I think you would both devolve into rage after about. Three days under 12 hours. Yeah, under 12 hours. That quits rage.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Yeah, like violence. Basically, when the bits stop happening is, I think, when they rage out when there's no more bits left. Oh, the pits will dry out quick. Exactly. Because even with like you have to consider, I'm sorry, but in terms of sunburns, oh, my God, he'd be out. So that's how I get my fire.
Starting point is 00:53:26 That's how I get my fire. We go somewhere really hot. He'll just light up on fire and I'll just fucking put sticks around them. You put a right. Put a fish over it. That's how you do it. He's so pale. Yeah, like honestly, I'm being real.
Starting point is 00:53:43 Can you do he would if I were if if I landed on Naked and Afraid Island and I saw that he was my partner, immediately I'd be like, let's put stuff on your skin, like let's mud you up something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quickly, please. I wouldn't. I would lie. I go, you know, you know, bad, you know, mud and sun together, dude,
Starting point is 00:54:01 you can burst into flames. Don't do the mud thing that is bad for your skin, too. It has this algae in it. So he won't do that. I just I'll do everything I can. It's good to be on the sun. Just go on the field, man. As soon as you burst into flames, then I survive.
Starting point is 00:54:15 I win the whole thing, but then no podcast. Oh, I didn't think it through. Oh, no, I killed him. Well, you want to bring up the list of Filipino names? So Kalaila sent me this list and I didn't believe it at first, but these are actual Filipino names that parents have named their children. They are real. We'll start with the bottom one.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Dipsy, not too bad. Dipsy is kind of cute. But this one, Fort McKinley. All right, very formal. I mean, Manny Pacquiao is what is Queen Elizabeth? So the Fort McKinley is right. Can I ask you something before we go into it? And I want to go through it.
Starting point is 00:54:50 They're very curious. But I have another question to you. OK, just by listening to that, right? And listening to the way Filipinos name their children, right? Is it creative or is it lazy? We're trolling. It's your trolling. Yeah, we think things are.
Starting point is 00:55:09 We love being silly. That is even if it's at the cost of the child's. That's really funny. Like if I if we did a thing where like. If I just point to a word, yeah, would you name your kid that I could promise you this? If that drink was sold in the Philippines, someone would be named liquid. Yeah, that's so funny. I could promise.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Oh, let's go. Let's go. This one is very common. You take one of your parents' names and combine it with another word. So Drexia and Zeus, so he becomes Drex Zeus, Drex Zeus. But this is my favorite one. Where was Drexia a common name? That must be a mixed name, too. Yeah, this one, number nine.
Starting point is 00:55:44 These are real. These are real names. The siblings, Sagacious, Juniors and Growwizard. Growwizard's great. Growwizard is the best. Sagacious, though. That's pretty. Oh, my God. Growwizard is so fucking good.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Yeah, G-H-R-O-W. Growwizard. Yeah, Growwizard. Like, Growwizard. Well, you know that big band? There was a band called, one of my favorite bands in Australia, King-Gizzard and the Lizard. King-Gizzard and the Lizard.
Starting point is 00:56:12 What is it? King-Gizzard and the... Let me... I got to go look it up. Hold on. King-Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. Yeah, King-Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard is an actual psychedelic band out of... They're so amazing.
Starting point is 00:56:23 They're really critically acclaimed. Like, one of the best. But that's what they're called. But I'm sure that a Filipino family would. Name their kid King-Gizzard. And the whole thing. I bet you don't guess what Growwizard's from. Yeah, Growwizard.
Starting point is 00:56:34 So who else is that? Number six is very confusing. Yeah, that sounds like Zizix Road. Look how it's pronounced. His name... It's pronounced Angel. And... I don't know how to say that. Angel.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Y-J-N-G-J-H-Y-L-L. This is my favorite one, the next one. Sincerely, yours 98 is the name. Macaroni 85 and Spaghetti 88. I'll read the bottom. It says, it started when my father named my brother Macaroni 85. Okay, it says, for him, it was a saucy version of Macario, which my grandfather wanted to name his grandson.
Starting point is 00:57:14 After my brother as an alternative for Macaroni. My... After my brother as an alternative to Macaroni, my father named my sister Spaghetti 88. I wasn't really planned, but I happened. And since my mom was already in her 40s, by the time I was born, my father thought of naming me something that closes a letter
Starting point is 00:57:31 to symbolize that I am the last child. That's great. Therefore, I was named sincerely, yours 98. You know what would be a better one? You're welcome. Look, someone named her... A child named you, you're welcome? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Really good. Look at this. She named her kids, Cheese, Pimiento, and Parmesan Cheese. That's fucking amazing. It's so good. I love Filipino food. Drink water is one. Wait, what's the story? What's the story? My mom was hilariously always thirsty
Starting point is 00:57:59 during her pregnancy with me. She couldn't pass a day without water beside her. And that led her in naming me Drink Water. Oh my gosh. That's so good. Classic. The final one is God is with us. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Gotta go with that Catholic. Well, how about this? Why don't we do a thing? If you and I ever have a child, we let the Tiger Belly fans name them. Absolutely not. We're 100%. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:58:21 In fact, I want to do what they are doing, the Philippines. I don't want a traditional name. Naming it King-Gizzard then. King-Gizzard would be good. Okay. King-Gizzard. All right. You guys, happy...
Starting point is 00:58:33 2022? The 2022. Happy 2022. Thank you so much for being here. Everyone, we're gonna have a great year. I feel good about it. You know, we're still kind of in a pandemic. People are trying to get back, but it's weird.
Starting point is 00:58:48 And also, I want to apologize for canceling some of my dates because of COVID and I'm just not ready. So, I apologize, but other than that, thank you so much. I love you guys, and let's be a team and let's fucking do it, okay? Good night, take care, and God bless. Unhopeful advice with Bobby. No, we did not.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Yeah. Unhopeful advice with Bobby and Kalayla. Oh, we didn't do that. Hi, guys. My name is Dee, I'm from Canada. Kalayla or any of you, including Bobby, have advice on how to live with an absolute slob. I've been living with my boyfriend for about two years now.
Starting point is 00:59:24 At first, he was better about cleaning up after himself, but now he has progressed to the point where he will leave his dirty underwear everywhere, shift garbage under the couch, and leave food out to the point where we now have mice in our house. Every day, I discover some new gross thing. On top of that, I do all the cleaning.
Starting point is 00:59:37 I mean all of it. Every time I come home, I am faced with some new disgusting mess or pile-up of his shit that I need to clean up. At first, I was just silently cleaned up after him because I didn't want to be a nag, but now it's made me feel resentful. You're being a nag.
Starting point is 00:59:48 I appreciate it. So, I approached him and asked him to clean up sometimes. He's gonna leave you. Because it made me less stressed. His reply was, well, it doesn't bother me, so why should I have to clean it? If it bothers you so much, then you should clean it.
Starting point is 01:00:01 That pissed me off. How do I get this dirtiest man to clean up after him? Oh, can I say one last thing? I want to say one last thing. One quick thing, and then you can say it, all right? If you don't like the smell, plug your nose. Go ahead. The only reason that I have put up with his
Starting point is 01:00:18 disgusting way of life. Hit it, baby, hit it, baby. It's because he's willing to pay for someone to clean. In the beginning, I did what you did, which was I was just quietly cleaning everything. Now, it's like, nope, I'm not gonna put up with it. If you don't hire someone to clean that, I'm not gonna do it.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Also, I'm not gonna stay. Yeah, there's no, shoot, okay, that's crazy. You're right. If we didn't have a cleaner in this house, we would be dead being buried under food and it would be like a quarter house. Why would it be here? But me, I'm saying me.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Yeah, you would. Yeah. So I just wouldn't put up with it. The hell fucking no. And the fact that he's like, I'm okay with it, the worst. No, you can't live like that. You can't live like that. Leave him.
Starting point is 01:01:03 No. Do you have a message for him? Because it's so inconsiderate. I don't know who he is. He's inconsiderate. I don't know who he is. If he's- He doesn't have your comfort in mind.
Starting point is 01:01:10 He doesn't have your well-being in mind. Okay, but can I just say this though? Let me just throw this out, all right? Hear me out. He's making a mess all over the house, okay? That's true, but we don't know that if he goes to work, he works at a lab. She probably does too.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Okay, I'm saying, I'm saying him. Let's call this guy, Jackson. Jackson, my man, you're already in around the house. But he goes to the lab. One day he finds the cure for cancer, man. I believe he's gonna do it. That doesn't mean he's great to live with. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Give him a break. He saved humanity. Highly doubt that. Somebody who would let Mike into their house. Yeah, except trying, but yeah, yeah. Yeah, he sounds like a dick. Even his response to you not feeling good about it, the way he's just like, oh, it doesn't bother me.
Starting point is 01:01:58 He's a cocksucker, leave him. Boom. There you guys go. Unless he's like, I'm so sorry. Like I really did not learn this when I was growing up. Like I am a slob. Fuck, I feel horrible. Is there, I'm not gonna do it,
Starting point is 01:02:10 but I'm gonna pay for someone to do it. Or can we come to a compromise? Then he's not a cocksucker. But from the sounds of it, yeah. Just leave him. But don't leave him until you have a conversation. Boom. She did, and that's what he said.
Starting point is 01:02:25 But sometimes women will have two different conversations. There's one that's light, and then there's one that's real. Why does it have to come to that? I'm about to leave. I needed to get to the real. So she's like, I can't put stuff away or whatever. That's fine, I'll be like, whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:41 But it's like, if she has her bags packed and it has a U-Haul back there and she's like, I'm gone. That's your problem. You always wait for things to get so bad before you change. Why can't it just be like, hey, it's really bumming me out that you leave all your shit. Can I tell you why? Pepsi, new Pepsi, new Coke.
Starting point is 01:03:00 What do you mean, new Coke? Right, they kept new Coke out there for a long time, but nobody liked it. What's new Coke? You gotta change it. That's what I'm saying. Oh, Coke zero instead of Coke. Yeah, you gotta make a decision, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:03:11 I think I do. Anyway, I think I do. I did not understand that. What a great podcast. It didn't make any sense. But that's why it's good, all right? But anyway, lady, God bless you and take care. What do you think?
Starting point is 01:03:22 Do you honestly think she should stay with that slob? I don't know him. He could be a slob, but he could be the greatest guy in the world. I don't know him. Okay, Bobby is right. If he is so great in all other regards, like he is doting and loving and supportive,
Starting point is 01:03:37 then maybe cut him a, you know, give him a break. What if he's a really good artist? He spent so much time in his garage doing something and he's, I don't know what he's doing. You know what I mean? He's collecting mice. And he's the nicest guy in the world. He's so, he doesn't cheat on her
Starting point is 01:03:50 and he takes her to dinner, buys her roses. I don't know what he's like. You're right. All right? So I'm not going to burn this guy to a fucking steak. Like I'm going to do Andrew Santino naked and afraid. Burns in the flame. I'm going to make a fucking pork sandwich out of fire.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Anyway, I love you guys. Okay, bye. 2022. 2023, ready to go. 22. Hi guys. Hello so. Hey, prime members.
Starting point is 01:04:39 You can listen to tiger barely adfree on Amazon music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.

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