TigerBelly - Ep 343: Will Sasso, Canadian Science, the MADtv Bus & AI Farts
Episode Date: April 13, 2022Bobby hits Jessica Simpson. Will Sasso impersonates Frank Caliendo. We talk Hogan's Hangout, stupid wolves, AI Nirvana, & pre-Andre 3000. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Pr...ivacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Whoa
Whoa, dude, whoa
Fucking awesome space. Yeah, we're stoked on it. We've been much happier here. It's awesome. Yeah, great
God, I can't believe I haven't seen you so long. It's like, you know, whatever
What are you pulled up like it was a little aggro, but
Well, I was just I need to get a real run at that fucking
driveway. Oh, yeah, yeah, he came on real fast and he's got his, you know, you know, his head
His head is a special
very special head and that and
When I saw him it was just like seeing a long-lost brother was beautiful. Do you want to start or do you want to catch it?
I would do whatever you want to do. You want to do the podcast?
Five, four, three, two, hey
No, I wasn't even a song. Oh, wow. I wouldn't because I took I took I woke up from a nap
So I'm a little groggo
And I had to get up real early. What's really really 930. It was terrible. It was terrible. Anyway, um
So try to take a nap this and that and then I realized one of my best buddies are coming in and I got really excited
But came in real aggro, but you know, he's Canadian beef. You know, I mean, yeah, I'm starting
This is how we start this is how I yeah, this is so I'm so sorry go on
Fucking as just go on attitude has not changed one gotta understand something before we go ahead
Everything is content. I know
We'll get some so well you should know that you guys have been doing Tiger Bradley now for like a decade, right?
Yeah, yeah, something like that something like that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, you don't need me to tell you everything
All right. Well, let me may may get back fucking asking me for can we please all right?
So anyway, sorry talking about start from the beginning. You were groggo. Yeah
I love your song. I love your song. So anyway, let's love all your music
Let's go to the let's just go to the intro to my friend. I
I've known him for a very long time
When I was on mad TV, he was one of the cast members had been there for a little bit
And he was the only one that really talked to me in the beginning. That's not true
Anyway, and then when he left I sabotaged our friendship because I you know, you know, I don't call back
I remember we had that time where I was a calling back. We drifted apart a little bit
I wasn't paying attention
But I did notice that you didn't call me back for a period of about three to five years
I took to calling you as Frank Caliendo
That burns, but he's getting back at returning things. Yeah, I would call and what Frank doesn't
Doesn't like to return phone calls and shit. That's not why I did that
I just thought I just wanted to be like boom tough act and tonight. I'm like I
I would literally do like a Frank impersonation. Oh my god, Bobby Lee. It's me Frank
Do you think he was really upset when John Madden died?
No, if we're talking like from the point of view of
Frank and his attachment to
John Madden professionally. Yeah, no, I think he's
Squozen all the juice from that
But personally probably as we all were yeah before I ask you I want to say Calila were you upset when Hall of Fame?
Coach John Madden
Raiders passed away. I gotta say I lit a candle that night. Okay. Yeah, I got it. I was not sad
Yeah, I was not sad. Yeah, Bobby. What about you when Bobby Knight dies all very sad. Yeah, I'll be very sad
Yeah, yeah, my namesake. Yeah, your white Indiana basketball coach namesake, but we still have the same we have the same temperament
Oh, yeah, he's definitely you I can tell just by the scuffs on the floor that you've thrown chairs
He I get angry. Oh, yeah, but can I go back to the the beginning of the show again? No, can it be intro? Maybe?
So anyway, um and
He's been honestly do honestly dude, you've been fucking killing it like what what you were on that sit
Oh, sorry my alarm because I was taking a nap and
Oh
Yeah, I'm 15 minutes late and then the alarm
After that. Yeah, it was just a preemptive alarm, but
You were killing it. I mean I remember it was either during the pandemic you had a sitcom
Oh, yeah, I had a sitcom for a minute during the pandemic on ABC or CB ABC, right? It was a family one
That's right. I think I saw an episode. You're very funny in it
Oh, cheers. I'm not a big three camera sitcom guys. So, you know, I mean, yeah, we're getting one out of me is pretty good
Yeah, no, it was great. Yeah, it's a gun. Christine of it all and and
Curtin Guillermo DS. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. It's television show. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everything. I'm on
No, what are you talking about? I want to talk to you about and then and just like that
Are you doing another season of that?
This is the hold on I can tell by the confused look on your face that I need to go
This is the much-awaited sort of sequel to sex in the city that that's the that's what it is
Yes, you're mentioning that you're oh that I don't know. Okay. It got picked up, but I don't know
Yeah, you'll be you'll be doing. Well, they they made a call, but I don't know. Yeah, we never know
You never know in this fucking thing man. That's the fun part being in the business. Um,
Was it, you know, I
I enjoy doing it, but it was like not the funnish like I was it, you know, like when we're on that
Yeah, together, you know, we hung out a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Remember we I remember take you took me to a couple of parties
What did you took me to this house? You just fart? No, no, I'm just moving
But I will you know, we hung out a lot so you know, there's none of that going on on that
But it was still a fun experience. That's cool. All right. Well, sorry. It wasn't the thank you for the movie
I'm doing a movie and I just found out you're doing it. Wait, what?
Yeah, so I I I'm doing I'm gonna be doing a film and I just found out you're gonna be in it because I just told you in your
driveway, yeah
So let me get this straight
Yesterday I get a call. Yeah
Saying do you want to do this movie? We'll we'll we'll say so it's two only two days. It's in Florida
And in my head, I'm like, oh, this is will
Getting me a job. No
Going pulling through for me. Yeah, no. And so when I told you about it, you had no idea. So it's like
So I guess the producers reached out. Yeah, you know, it's shouldn't be much news to you Bobby
That people like you in the business you were most recently on and just like that
Now this is the sequel
The city all right, but yeah, no, honestly, I had no idea that
You're doing this thing. I'm stoked. I'm so stoked about it. That's great
How are they? Yeah, man. Are we gonna eat meals or whatnot? Yeah, let's eat meals. Yeah, the best thing to eat
You shouldn't eat anything else really. No, but I think you and I would gorge. Yeah. Yeah, we absolutely gorge
They show up to set looking different the next day
I haven't spent a whole much a whole lot of time in the area of Florida
Where we're shooting where is it Tampa? Yeah, yeah, but they got some good, you know, well one thing
I'm very excited about is they have like Hulk Hogan's little
Stores there. He has a store. I love hulky. Yeah
Where you got a three four
Three for one two for one. I thought you said three. I never got a three
Congratulations. Thank you. That's pretty impressive feet Tampa was the only time. I don't if I should talk about it
I'm comfortable. It's okay. No, I will
Tampa was the only city where I made love to two women
In one day, okay
Wow, and it was that they didn't know about each other, right? It was one of those things where
because I've heard like
Other comments talk about you know, I mean, I don't want to name names, but I know dudes that do it
it was just like I just never thought it was in my skill set and
And I had a skill is that yeah, I want a skill. Yeah, what skill sets no
I mean just like being desired in that way for me like every time like before Kalila every time I would be with a girl to be like
This is a miracle like I won the lottery, right?
But that day was like a magical day where where it happened twice. Well, I had to save nut juice
You know, I mean, how long is your refractory period?
Usually a week, but I mean great usually a week, but yeah, yeah, but for that time I
It was like you stepped up like I shot shot again, you know, yeah, it was pretty cool
Yeah, but that's never happened before or after I mean, that's really just a just a matter of math and averages if you are
If you're a person who's
You know engaged in coitus with a partner, let's say five times five
Times yearly and three of them happen in one day. That is just the way it could be all five or it could be
Spread out every other month. Yeah, but yeah, I don't think that's I don't think that has
I don't know that you can brag about that just sort of I wasn't bragging
It was just a story that I brought up my friend. It's it is yeah, so it does feel good though
Hey, no, it yeah
It means that there's more than a few hours in the day to you you there was that and then you went off
Yeah, probably had you know yet you went to eat somewhere and then no
It was one of those things were and someone someone left the hotel. Okay, and then an hour later somebody came up
Yeah, an hour. Wow, like an hour hour and a half. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool
That's pressure. Yeah, I would have thought that it was two organic situations happening separately like you are
how you have like you're in a relationship previous to Kalilah and
She comes out with you to like you're doing a show or you're shooting something out in Florida and it's like come with me
We're gonna do this thing. Okay, great
Yeah, or a weekend in Tampa doing stand-up and then you have a horrible fight and you split up and she leaves and you guys are
Screaming at each other in the lobby of the hotel. Yeah, and then you know the gal at the at the stand the receptionist
The reception. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like no one calls it that no one calls it the stand. Whatever
That's what I call it in Canada. So you have to respect that
And then you know, you guys have just been having like some late-night chats over those little tins of Pringles or at least I do
And then she's like couldn't help but notice you were screaming your head off at that person
Yeah, everybody today. How about I come up later and we hang out and you know, no pressure. No just talk. Yeah
Yeah, but that does sound more organic. Yeah, that just sounds organic, but that's never I've never
been to like a restaurant or
Or
You know at a hotel at the stand. Yeah, and had had the lady working at the stand go
Let's hook up. I they have to I've always had to have somebody know me already who I am
Yes. Yeah, that that happens a lot with sex. You know the person for a while
Oh in order to want to have sex with you for because all reasons are other than physical. This is what
All right, we know who you are
So, um, who you sing now same girl. I am engaged to my girl. Yeah
Yeah, hey cheers. Thanks. Yeah, Molly and I have been together for like three years
Yeah, guys have two dogs one of which you found in the middle of a freeway two dogs. Yeah, Molly's had her little dog Ronnie for like years
She's like 11 years old and then yeah a couple years ago during the pandemic
She's originally from Northern California. We're driving back to LA and to make a long story short
We pulled over to get gas like halfway this little town. It was July the third fireworks going off everywhere
Oh, and there were some scared dogs
We're actually chasing one that was near the freeway on the other side of a fence big big dog and we're like running
Sharing trying to like throwing Ronnie's treats Molly's, you know, our other dog a little cute little Yorkie Dotson
And then we're throwing those treats
Dog tears off into the night like fuck get back in the truck. We're like kind of like damn that, you know
What's going on? We're about to roll off Molly's like look out. There's another one
I just see the back of Lulio. We ended up calling him Lulio stupid little head
Oh, he's the sweetest little like 12 pound. We don't know what the hell he is. He looks
He's like Papillon perhaps there's some border collie. There's some Chihuahua. There's some kind of terrier or something
He's got like a strong jaw, but he's cute. We thought he was a baby chocolate lab. He's just brown
I should have brought him. He's like but was he was he homeless?
We think he was in a situation where like he had ticks and fleas. Oh
We find out he wasn't chipped. He was a little bit underweight, but he was happy
He was loving he had never had a bath, but he never he never stinks or anything, right?
Like he's he just everything, you know comes off him like it like a duck like, you know
You know like rain on a duck sort of thing like just everything goes off. There he is. Oh, he's cute
Yeah, he's on the left and little Ronnie's on the right when they met or they did they get along right away?
Oh, was it Ronnie's the boss little Ronnie? She's she's the so cute
So he kind of but he is very well adjusted to her and he's he's he gets along well
Particularly with big dogs. He's fallen in love with one of Molly's best friends dog
She has this big old pit bull. They love each other dogs it and his other her cousin's dog is big huge, you know
Fucking golden retriever. They love each other and he's just the sweetest little guy and he didn't know from a leash
He didn't understand dog food. He he we but we think he was loved maybe
Like this town, you know, it was kind of like there was this rough dude like I was holding them
and we're like in this empty lot and we're going what the fuck right and
There's this guy over by this this house and there's a couple little puppies walking around him
And I was just holding Lulio and I go, hey, what's up?
What's up, and I'm like, how you doing? I'm like show look I got this fucking dog. He's like, yeah, not bad
Okay, so that guy didn't claim him and I'm not gonna go door-to-door in this. No, is this your adorable little dog
So clearly he was we think he was like living in a garage eating pizza crust and stuff
Oh, yeah, I think he was loved
But maybe someone wasn't in in someone couldn't take care of him or perhaps it was that stretch
I don't know what stretch of the highway you were in but there are a lot of
Because I do a lot of like rescue stuff. Oh, yeah a lot of neglectful situations. Yeah
Well the further north you go in California. It's like
Like I said like Molly's cousin's dogs like up there. It's the country a lot of farm dogs
Don't even dinner. They never come inside. Yeah, you know what I mean? So, uh, and um
But what's work? Let me ask you something. What's right a dog living in a house
But really no one touches the dog plays tip
But he gets all the food and all the right
But then a dog living out in the streets, but he does get love from his owner for the record
Yeah homeless people take very good care of their dogs 95% of the time if they have there
This is one perfect example out by the house of pies right here
There was a guy pushing a five pit bulls on a cart and it was a really hot day
And one of them was a puppy and I was like hey like can I help you with you know?
I mean providing for these dogs or whatever and in fact
I wanted to pay to get one of the dogs because this five is a lot
He's unhoused or whatever and he was like he couldn't pay me enough money
Oh, wow, this is my family and I'm like I respect that you know, but ask the dog the dogs are happy
They were what well what they're stupid wolves. They
Every dog is a stupid stupid
Bizarrely bread and I say that with love. Yeah wolf who's like check it out. I'm outside. I'm rubbing my face in a dead mouse
Yeah, that's what I don't get it either. Yeah, but it's like I got to remind myself if Lulio isn't right next to me
He's outside rubbing his face and something dead
They love dead stuff. Yeah
Yeah, but but okay, you're right
I guess you know, maybe you're right if I was a dog maybe I'll be with the homeless
He likes to overindulge our pets and I don't like it. I I hear what you're saying that I overindulge the damn pets
What what pets so how many what I have seven whoa?
What yeah, it's going on what we've always had a lot. Yeah, we've always seven. Okay. Yeah
We have four dogs and three cats. Holy shit foster a lot to we foster usually have a foster downstairs living downstairs
So we usually have a foster mom with puppies. Oh, that's awesome. I get hungry when they come
I'm kidding
It's just an ancestral
All right, it's a part of my heritage. No, I I love that dog so much
Um, but I just but I do watch like hoarders. Yeah, I've been watching a lot of hoarders lately
Yeah, don't you do love the show and the worst is when you see a dog in that environment
Like chained up, but it's also, you know, I mean, there's like 19 feet fucking piles of newspapers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that
Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, that's not a good fucking hate hoarders, man
Yeah, me too. You do. Why?
Cuz they they're holding on to all that cool stuff. Yeah, give me some less fortunate
They're so selfish. Yeah, yeah hanging on to all those awesome newspapers from the 80s and 90s
I saw one yesterday at the lady a lady her plumbing didn't work 10 years ago. So she decided to
poo in cups
Oh, right, but in plastic cups. Yeah, and she was just laying around the house and then over the years
They just fell and they fell into the ground and with the with the fucking rat shit and with all the dog shit, too
Cuz you had a dog, right that it piled up and now it's like a six foot high more floor of just
Fossilized shit. So they take shovels like it's ice and crack it. You're right
Oh, my I mean while the dog is chained to a fucking wall. What's that face?
What do you mean? What's that?
Disgusting face. I'm just talking about a six-foot
What's that face? Yeah, don't do the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like and then they have to chisel and then
The but the world why don't like hoarders is they're still in denial. What's wrong? Yeah, no
Yeah, it's very specific mental illness. Yeah. Yeah, and they just never but I don't I'll never get it
You know heroin I get don't you I mean
Yeah way more than hoarding. It's like you get to just kind of check out and
Lay around and there's all that that cool Iggy Pop music
Yeah, you have leather jacket you got no shirt on you and you and Bremner
If you're in the if you're a you and McGregor yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and the other guy
Yeah, yeah, I get I get drugs and alcohol. It makes you feel
Just instantaneously absolutely, right? Yeah, but hoarding like human shit is you know, I don't yeah
There's no yeah, I don't think it's the same kind of addiction. What what what what that's rich of you
What you're the poo master? I am a poo master. Oh, he loves we're all poo masters in our own way
Yeah, but she said the poo man. I know like those are the grandmasters
Like I'm a highlander like they only want
You're like blade. Yeah, I'm bled. Thank you. Poop lady. Yeah. I'm poop blade. Um, I think we're all poo masters
We've all been doing it for a very long time. Yeah, it happens whether you like it or not
Yeah, at least she's shit in a cup you you bear-ass it on your back seat. All right now
We're gonna get there. What I know is this what you're talking about. What is this?
Is this the lady who's scooping poop? No, they're all like that's every episode like that. She's scooping. Yeah
Yeah, that's what they just trying to clean it up though, at least I
What I do is I take the poo from one
I get a home depot bucket and I haul it through and sometimes I spill it
Yeah, and then that means there's more poo and I just can't figure out
We're watching a woman just scatter poo around. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean bless us all
You know I think in this specific as I've seen I'm all right. She had
You know hundreds of cats
Right, so they would lift up on the couch
Right, and they'll just be skeleton remains of cats. Oh my god. Yeah. Anyway, why don't you start a new podcast?
What's the face bro?
Again, not with the fucking face George. You should you should start a podcast called poo blade
You just break down every episode of hoarders
I
Would listen to that. Yeah, and I pooed in my car
Three times in my life
Never in the new car you I'll never
Poo in the new car. I'd rather fit
In on the streets than poo in my new car. Have you ever attempted to bear hand it at least? No, cuz mine's mine's not
Let's just say it's not so lady
I pooped myself once in my car where not too long ago probably just just a handful of years ago
In my driveway, I just couldn't even get up my driveway
You were coming home or leaving I was coming home in a hurry because I was like gonna poo gonna poop
Yeah, and then was driving up the driveway filled my shorts with poop. Oh, but it was like kind of like it was the consistency of
like like I
would say
Wet cement that had been out for an hour like it all stayed where it was supposed to yeah, it didn't even stay in the seat
This is a great time. I'm glad to see you again
But just my last note my last note, right? It's not the shame of the poo, right that gets to me, right?
It's the warmth of it. Oh
Right feeling and then when it's there for it starts to turn cold
Anyway a little side note if I was a nurse charting your driveway poo
We'd call that a formed poo form poo. Yeah formed. Yeah, Bobby's are
Borderline not formed. Mmm. Yeah. No, this was I was fortunate because I've had all kinds
Were you with Molly though at the time? No, no, but she was home
Okay, did you tell her about it right then and there or yeah, right away?
I walked into the she was in the den. I walked in without any clothes on go going. You'll never guess what I
Thought I heard you in the backyard. Did you turn the hose on? I'm like, yes, I did and
No, I was winning Winnie the Pooh and it Donald Duck and it I had a shirt on
But just everything was like I gotta take a shower. I'll talk to you later
But I got the rest of it off anyway. Yeah
Would did would you do it in the pandemic?
What I do. Yeah, I mean you in Canada over here. No, I was here in the castle
It was in the in my home
Yeah, have you been to his house?
It looks like a castle
Like like old-school Harry Potter castle. It's beautiful. It's an evil. It's an evil. It's an evil castle
It's a great house and I remember
This is back in the day when this is I don't we talked about this ever before but I
Remember you we set up a couple of TVs in that house. Yeah, and we what played what halo halo
And parties what land parties? Yes, as a matter of fact. Yes when I when I bought that house
I was it was part of the renovation
I was like I need a land that goes from the master bedroom down to the you know, the little den there and so that we can
Specifically to play halo. Yeah, we have halo really fun. Yeah, it was great
Yeah, I remember your party is being really fun. Yeah, I used to have a party or two a year
Yeah, for like a decade. What what happened? Uh, you know, I just decided that it would be better if I
Shunned most people inside. Yeah and laid on my bed for most of the past decade
previous to you know, I guess meeting Molly and
deciding that
Shitting in plastic cups and
teetering them here and there around the home is not for me and
And you know, so I as you can see I'm clean cleanly. Yeah, we shave now and I really got my shit together
But we used to have fun part. Can we do another one? I would love to have a party
How about if I co-sponsor? Yeah, no, it's not gonna be one of those dry parties
So we don't need one of your sponsor. Oh, you know, no
Like it'll be will and Bobby's party co-host. Oh, yeah, not not dude. Fuck that. Have a party here. So anyway
But yeah, yeah, I'd like to have another another bigger party. Yeah, man
I used to have like but we were it was we were young like yeah, I mean young and fresh
I was fortunate enough to get into that house. I was you know, I was in my 20s and shit. Yeah. Yeah for a while. It was like I
Know what I should do. I mean the the the the den and the ground floor of the home is good for having a lot of people
Yeah, there's no carpets. There's some very hard floors. Yeah
People can be a people are always falling off of this and that hanging from the beams split in their head open
You remember Dylan Stewart. I love Dylan Dylan
He cracked his life. Yeah, he's in Long Beach. Oh, tell him I said hi white picket fence. Love that dude
He's white, right? No, I said white picket fence, but he's white. He is a white person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Well, he's from Canada. We grew up. Oh, that's right. That's right
Was it there? I just wasn't there a black guy that we used to hang out Sean Sean
Mm-hmm. Love that dude. He's still around. Yeah Long Beach
Yeah, maybe Long Beach. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but I really like that guy. Yeah, that guy was a skinny guy, right?
No, he was kind of thick. He was a little
Thick, that's what I mean. He was like the opposite. He was like pre Andre three thousand three thousand. Oh
He would wear he would wear like plaid pants and and like like a shirt with like a skinny little time
We go to the Beverly Center and and then like all the other like other black guys would make fun of him
He wouldn't notice. Yeah. Well, I think you're behind on your water intake. Oh, I am a little bit. No, I'm oh, yeah
That's right. Hold on. I have a little timecode on the side. Where are you at right now? Right now? I'm at 11 a.m
We wait what what is that?
Drinking you're concerned about a water at a specific type of the day. What does that do? I have no idea
What is supposed to do now? You're at 1 3 at 2 p.m. You're at 2 p.m. Yeah, I'm at 2 p.m
I can catch up quick. You want me to drink the whole thing, but then I'll get thirsty
No, but is that is that some sort of regimen that's supposed to be good for you drinking water? No
It's a good one
No, not drinking water dude. I know water is very good for you need to replenish yourself with liquids
Yeah, but what but because there's like numbers on it and
Time is that those times those are times down there? Yeah, so is there it?
I'm just a is there some sort of science. No, I I don't know. Yeah, probably I just like a lot of water
I like to drink a lot of water. I've always drank way too much water. You like we have water as well
So if you run out of that water, we have more water. You got milk coffee. Yeah. Yeah
Another thing that you I learned from you. Yeah speaking of water was when you lost weight
Yeah, no, I'm just saying I mean I'm yeah back back in the day when you lost
I lost a shit ton away. I should look but now over the past 20 years
I just like to gain and lose it every now. You look no you look the same
I think well when I first lost weight. Oh, yeah, I remember I was down to like I was very very far down
Yeah, yeah, and now I'm just kind of comfy fat, but you weren't what you were though. No. Yeah. Yeah. I was very large
I was 450 pounds up my biggest. Yeah, and then I got down to
258 and had to have and I then they cut to in two surgeries. I had
Eight pounds of skin cut off. Wow. Wow
Surgery thing and then I was so I was 250
You know like something like 10% body fat. Yeah, very cock diesel will sass over
And then and now I've just been kind of going. Hey, this is great
Probably added a lot of years to my life
So I think a really good thing to do would be to tax my heart by gaining and losing 50 pounds for the next
20 fucking years and that's what I've been doing. Yeah, but you said that one of the things you did was
You'd be on the treadmill for hours not like on a high speed thing
But you just walk for hours on the yeah, right? Yeah, so when I'm on the peloton
I try to go as long as I can and I just remember you
You know mean learning that from you it doesn't do a whole lot for losing fat
But it's good for cardiovascular and if you got nothing else to do, yeah
I would watch an entire movie. I'll like watch Braveheart while on the fucking treadmill not so much anymore though
What a movie and then oh what a terrific movie. Yeah, do you remember this they may take our lives, but they'll never take
Oh, you're free to remember that. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do all sorts of movie references
Yeah, and at the end of the movie movie of yours that you like I'll do a thing. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Um, good fellas good fellas
Hold on I got one. Hey, I told you not to do what are you thinking?
Why would you do that? Yeah, I didn't know yeah
Yeah, here's let's get complex. Yeah, you're gonna stump me. I'm gonna stump you
Yeah, and see if you can do and even if you don't know it. I want you to commit to it. Oh, yeah, all right
I always I want a conversation between
Han Solo and Chewbacca got it
a
Chewy listen if we're gonna get to the gigba big above system by the
Well, we got to pick up that kid and lay over on the moon of Endor. Yeah, what do you think of that Chewy?
I say we better get
That's the best Chewy because you did the translation
You want to know what the fuck he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. I say we get going Han. Yeah. All right
Did you eat did we eat no?
Let's see when we get yeah, all right. You want to go to that? Yeah that place. Yeah, I like that place
You know, I Chewy lost me during one of the move the newer movies
Mm-hmm. Oh one day well, like there was a scene where you know, those were where we're
Luke Skywalker with that the fucking island he was living on. Oh
Recently the water island, right? Right. He was like just a hermit on a water island, right? Right, and there was these cute little
Penguins penguin things that were like they're trying to mark they marketed as toys, right? And there was a scene where
They showed the two penguins watching Chewbacca trying to eat something and on a grill or whatever
Rotisserie he had killed one of those corgi thing awesome, right?
Yeah, and I walked out of the fucking theater. No, you did I did and I walked back in yeah, but it infuriated me
Yeah, yeah, you why would Chewy do that because he's a fucking he's a stupid wolf. He's just like oh
Oh, it's just like Lulio. No, but he has more cognitive like reasoning. Yeah, no
He is a he is a humanoid kind of what how's that different from a human eating pig beef and other cute little animals
Yeah, we eat all sorts of cute. I and okay, but in a movie like okay first
I've never seen a movie where some guy, right, right is like
Eating a steak, right and there's two cows watching. I'm going whoo. Yeah, you know what I mean?
So like, you know, that's why I mean I know in in real life if I
Yeah, that is weird those things. Yeah, one of those things man in front of there. Yeah in front of there, man
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it is weird
It would be like it would be I'm shocked that they didn't do that like in 1987 return to the Jedi Chewy just eaten Ewoks
Yeah, right same thing. It's the same concept guys are cute, but Ewoks talk. Yeah, and yeah
There's literally like now the tauntaun scene in Empire Strikes Back
I get that the tauntaun was already dead was already and they never ate him, but they used him as insulation
Yeah, that's okay out of survival perfectly fine. Where as if Chewy was like it's cold here on this water island
And he just stomped through right with those cute little guys mouths. Yeah more than his slippers
That would be that would be weird using them for warmth. Yeah, or if one of them naturally
Oh, you know, it could be right. I don't know what the concept behind it
But um or how the cork well, I don't know what I think they're called corgi. I don't like see a porgs porgs
Yeah, I don't know how that pork died, but what if the pork had already been dead that could have been
Yeah, but if you have any type of intelligence, you never just pick up a dead animal and eat it
You don't know how it died. Right. So he did murder it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Chewy would either rub his face into a dead porg or cook a kill-and-cook alive one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
I would I would try one though during the credits of that movie. It should have just been Chewy on a killing spree and
Preparing them in different ways like
Right like a like a you know like a pork poke pokey
Yeah, or you know, you know like a ceviche kind of thing
Yeah, and then like grilling and frying them or doing all sorts of tick-tock what I would do
If I was a director, I would just do one where you're pounding the meat
Yeah, right and then do the the the cutlet the cutlet the cutlet. Yeah, let's make a pork cutlet. Yeah
You know I mean see that and I would eat that if there was like a Star Wars themed restaurant
Yeah, like Disneyland or Disney World. Yes, and it's like pork cutlets. Yes, you know and the kids are crying and you're like
Chicken relax. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we need more like child abuse at theme parks like when we were kids
What do you mean? Well, we were always forced to eat like you're eating Pluto, but Goofy's
Ever eat at that restaurant? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to go to this place in I would
Specifically go to Vegas to go to the Star Trek experience
What's the funny?
And I think it was at the Hilton yeah, and and I anyone I was there with like in Vegas
They'd be like I think I took Ike there once. Yeah. Yeah. Why you go there, dude? We're at the Bellagio, right?
I got it's a fucking Star Trek experience, but what I loved about it is they had Romulan ale
Romulan ale. Yeah, so they had a bar there. Yeah, right and you know some poor guy had the Klingon
Prosthetics. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want? You know, I mean and I'd like Romulan ale, please
Yeah, and he'd have to do it like a scripted line like
That's illegal and you know, I mean the Federation, but I got someone
You know, I got something in the back. You know me like one of those kind of lines
Yeah, and we would giggle and he would come and they put some sort of thing where it would like
Have a vaporized effect to it
There was like steam coming from it. It was just ginger, right? It wasn't just ginger ale, but you know me dry ice. Oh, I see
Yeah, but I just and then and then you get you what the dry ice
The dry ice is dangerous. Oh, it's like a dry icy kind of a thing. Yeah, and then what you could do is
They had the Enterprise and I used to love I would wait in line hours and take the photo
It was what with like a cardboard cut out of Patrick Stewart
That's the catch the catch is I was Picard baby. Yeah. Yeah
That's part again, huh? You fart again. I'm always farting. We're always all farting just a little bit
Did you know that scientifically speaking? What do you mean? We're all always seeping just a tiny bit of methane from our holes
No, I don't know that's Canadian science
Is that the truth because that really that really scares me no for me it would be I
Would like some sort of system where maybe I just like tuck a plastic McDonald's drop my ass
So I'm not making loud farts. Right. It's just always just coming out whenever and then you can just kind of
Kink it to the side while you're in your car. Yeah, and you might avoid
Shitting your pants with a form poo while you're driving up your driveway. So you don't have to hose your asshole down to the backyard
Oh, I used to
Make fun of a boy that I dated actually get the egg from it because he would always spread his cheeks when he would fart
Oh, and now I'm like, wait, that's genius. That's how you I do. That's how you fart silently. That's what I do
Yeah, if you spread it real
There's no sound. What do you mean? Uh-huh. It's more like I've been doing that lately
Well, you know what I do and this is now this podcast. Well, whatever we're talking about cups of shit. We don't give a shit
We talk about this every week. Well, this is something that I'm sure people do. No, Kalyla
You you wouldn't do this. I think the guys here. Hey guys. Yeah, men and women sure are different
Hey, you know, I've been doing some stand-up. You want to hear a joke?
Yeah, have you really been to a stand-up? Women sure are different. No, I haven't but
You know what I do is like I'm laying there on my side and yes
You reach down and you grab a bum cheek and you just slowly and so just
comes out and then
My wonderful fiance will say hey, did you what the hey don't you know and then I'll blame it on Ronnie
Cuz she's a gassy little dog. Ah, but but of course we all have our own distinct smells. Yeah
Fortunate for me and you're not gonna believe this Ronnie's smell worse than mine. Oh, so yep
Here's a little Korean science for you. Mm-hmm, right? And this is something that I I learned, right is
Korean science, isn't that the new that's the new guns and roses
20 years to come out Chinese democracy. Wow sweet. Oh, that's a fucking sweet sweater
Yeah, I was wearing a gun for you, baby. Yeah
Anyway, here's some Korean science
Korean science alert
My poop my farts have not been smelling at all. Oh in fact. Yeah, that's the most Korean thing. No, I'll tell but
Oh
Very clean and efficient. Yeah, you know, um in fact the smell is crisp
Oh, it's like almost oxygen like a spring time. Like it's like you're on a lake in yeah, you know the Great Lakes
I don't know what the Great Lakes are the Great Lakes. Yeah, there's a yeah during like during the spring on a great lake on a
boat and you get a gust of that true little gust of wind, right? No smog not that's what my fart and I but I but
One time last week
It smelled real bad. What did you and no, it's not eating what I realized is that the fart smell
When you have a gun loaded
Oh, when there was a when there's a poo in the shaft. Oh, right. So the air goes through the poo
Yeah, right to get released the filter the bad fill right. It's a bad filter, right?
So it's like here's the big deal. That's that's and that's I've heard your science
I was reading science where I where I read this but there was some sort of story just about, you know, North Korean propaganda and stuff
And that they were claiming that Kim Jong-un's farts smell like a spring meadow
Even when he has a shit in his asshole. That's a lie. I know it's impossible, right?
It's like when they say that he bold a perfect game or he shot at whatever under par and golf or stuff
And they say his poo even if he has a big poo poo lodged in his hole
That his farts still smell like he will just to cabinet members. Have you ever seen video of this where he just pulls his pants down?
And they never see that into his hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah like that. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yes. Yeah, that's very good
Yeah, go. Thank you. Yes. Yeah, that's very good
You know one of our
Sponsors on my other podcast a couple was it last year was this company that made but tape and
And basically its job is to keep your at your cheeks spread apart for whatever purpose you need that for
There are three
Let's name it three purposes right who I can think yeah. Yeah number one
So you never farts we know that never fart so you never fart, right or the constantly the seeping
Yeah, so the cheeks spread apart sweetie. It doesn't you don't tape the asshole. Yeah, I understand
Yeah, okay, it would make no sense if you tape the asshole. Yeah, right
Yeah, that's and also, why would you sell that I could just do that on my own?
Right, I'll just go get tape electrical tape. I just do that to check for worms. They tape the asshole and you check for the larva
That's me backing up
But let me ask you about that right
Why would you have larvae in your butthole because kids and humans get parasitic worms?
Yeah, you rub your face in a dead mouse and then later you have
Oh, I didn't I'd like to market a tape that's the opposite of that that keeps your butt cheeks together
Fart, it's loud so sort of like a super trap muffler
I'm like a like a load of the ground, you know, Honda or Mitsubishi. Yeah, you're like come on with a
Yeah, yeah, just like tape. That's really it's for and it's for sweaty big sweaty butt guys like me
Hi, I'm Will Sasso. Are you having a hard time making loud farts?
I'm scaring your partner out of bed. Laying it on the dock. Yeah, it will Sasso's butt tape
But you know what it would backfire
Because if you're ass if your ass, right? Yeah, it's clamped down like that. Yeah, right?
It would sound not like a far, but like a what whistle quiff. Oh
So I don't think you've heard a quiff lately. I have they sound like tight farts
I just watched a funny quiff on Instagram a girl
She was like, oh, I'm gonna talk to my duck. Yes. I saw that one. You see that? Yeah. Yeah going viral today
Hey, everybody check out the internet speaking to the internet. You want to talk about my new podcast? I got one
What's it called it's called dude Z
Dude Z who is it with me and Chad Colchin? Do you know Chad? You ever met Chad? No, who is he Chad's a
Writer of writer and producer a films movies. He writes books and shit. We've known each other almost 20 years and
Yeah, we got a new podcast and it is the this is why I stuck this sticker. That's our logo
It's a D and
Dude Z is the first ever there. We are it's the first ever podcast ever
Actually run by this proprietary AI. It's run by artificial intelligence. We had a company
Yeah, we had a company approach us that said
We have this proprietary AI that's moving into the podcast space. We want to use AI for I mean
Everyone's using AI for everything, you know nowadays. Yeah, there's medical applications and governments are being run by AI
And so we have this fucking
But anyway, so I understand. Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, all right anything Asian he gets like
Yeah, I know I know China. Yeah. Yeah, so we started a new podcast called dude Z well
We didn't start it this this thing approached us. They said all you guys got to do is show up
we will give you the assignments we will give you the segments and
Basically the AI one of the things that we've learned that it does and that it guarantees is that each
Episode well it guarantees this. I don't know if it does it
But each episode should be better than the last because it gathers data based not only on our podcast
But comments out there analytics of what has been heard what the audience is responding to says less of that more of this and
Yeah, it's really fucking. I don't know. It's interesting. It's a fun thing and basically it's taken our
Like we gave our like our passwords
Search histories data histories purchase histories. It has all of our text messages between each other and everything else
So that has access to everything. Let me get this straight and design. Let's look at this podcast
We just did today. Okay. Okay, so people are listen people are listening, right? Yeah, and
They they like the the tape in the bottom. Yeah, right that whole right tape in the butt thing, right?
So the AI will get the comments and all the stuff and the clips and all this stuff, right? It generates and then the next week
Doodzy or the people that run the thing go. It's just doodzy now. It's just doodzy in us. Okay, but you guys, right?
They say um
Or they really like that so do more of the tape in the butt thing, but right
But doodzy would also sort of essentially create a segment where that would make sense like here
Let me give you a weird little okay, but no, but I'm just saying like it goes like
The pod it has also consumed every podcast ever recorded. It's listen every podcast
I've ever done it. Well, you know this this this
group that is working in AI basically sicked the
the AI out on the podcast space and was looking for two people who are friends in real life who have podcast experience
Chad has a podcast about the bachelor that he does and he used to do TMP with me from like
2015 on him and Tommy Blotcher and
And he and basically what happens is is it said here are two guys will sasso hasn't done podcasts in like three or four years
This is a good group to do it because they're sort of fresh to this kind of concept and
It will essentially it you know, it essentially
tailors each
Each segment and tailors the show
So for our audience and and for us and find strengths like it'll say hey
Because it's listen every podcast news podcast or a popular thing blah blah blah will sasso
You won't stop doing your stupid Hulk Hogan impersonation. So it's like do this is infomania
So it's like I don't know. It's like Hulk Hogan delivering the news. So but then it AI generates a
comedic script
Based on other bits that I've done things with Chad the way that like some of Chad's writings
Some of my Hulk Hogan stuff the actual news. It's bizarre. Have you ever heard like AI's like?
Do like Nirvana or something or it's like these are Beatles songs that don't exist. Oh, no, they do that now
Yeah, they do everything. I want it. I want to listen listen to it. If you put up your headphones on you guys. Oh, oh, okay. Oh
Oh, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, you know what if you don't mind if you hit that
Talking about yeah, I do see popped up on the Wow, that's weird
It's at work. Well, it's sitting here in my phone. I guess but if you hit
Or listening through my phone if you play the first few seconds of that you'll you'll you'll see the song
I'm talking about in the intro
After you take this survey
I wrote a song about the stupid AI the right song
You gotta pick the right song to cry through. Yeah
Don't cry just any song
Macho
Oh, here we go. I fucking hold right
Look how happy we are to be digging it. You look happier than me
Pretty big smile on your face
Jump in the hole and stay in the hole
Wow
Hey, all right, you know, well, I'm talking over that but may I say something real quick? Um, you know
Will and his buddy just started this new dootsie podcast they get CGI intros and stuff. What do we got bud?
We don't have see no, no, but we don't got CGI. We got nothing. We don't have no AI
We got nothing here, baby. Well time for you guys to start riding on the quest of that future way
Yeah, how do we get into this this arena?
Yeah, yeah, I want to get in the AI arena, dude. You want to know something. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, dude. He's listening right now and dude
See here's you
Wow
Knows what you want. Yeah, we even say it but that
Nirvana song terrible
What are you talking about even the even the fucking terrible?
What do you tell you wouldn't have that that could have been one little Beatles
Oh, yeah, I want to hear the beetle and now this because I'm a Beatles fan me too
This will convince me, but I doubt it
Okay, stop. Yeah, it's the worst Beatles song I've ever heard of my life. It's a it's a Ringo song
It's a yeah, it's a Ringo. Definitely. Yeah, it's a submarine. It's a octopuses garden. It's not as good as the Nirvana in my
Yeah, but the Nirvana has literally Cobain's guitar sound
The but it but it sounds like Kurt went hey guys
Let's work on a song and they just kind of jammed. Yeah, but it's not a finished product
Like let's put this on the album
Well, you know that no, but that you know that the way that and they would ever either this is if you're a Nirvana fan
You know that he would a lot of times just come up with melodies and a lot of songwriters do this and go
And then fucking words later, right, you know, right, okay
I don't know
It's it's really it's you know what? I think I think I'm freaking out right now. How would you feel?
I'm scared like a couple years from now. You see a guy on the screen
In a comedic role that looks like you sounds like you
But somehow you're not getting residuals for that. Oh, so they AI'd Bobby Lee
Yeah, let's say Bobby Lee quit. Well, if I was we want Bobby in like and just like that season six
I think that you I'm sorry to cut you off. How would you feel if that happened? But I
But you can cut me off. Okay. I often do I mean, okay, let's suppose I'm in a movie theater
Yeah, and I don't know I'm in the movie or you know, I mean and I'm watching I think it would be distracting because I'd be jerking off
Yeah, yeah, no, but I think that it would I would probably
Walk back in the lobby and call my agent and go what the fuck is this?
Well, I think that there's gonna be and this is what I was gonna say in response to that that
Our likenesses and the things that we do as performers. I think we're in the sweet spot just being alive in
2022 because they will have to license that shit like, you know
Bruce Willis is in a commercial right now say what you will in Russia about I don't know what the product is
But it's completely deep fake
AI Bruce Willis and they're doing a lot of this shit now where there is gonna be I don't know
It's Bruce getting money from that. Yes. I'll go good. I'll go guys get it. It's licensed
Right his thing the James Dean movie of course the estate of James Dean. How are they doing a James Dean movie?
You know what? I don't know, but he's like it's like Star Wars
It's like the princess lay at the end of whatever was that Rogue one or something. Anyway, I don't know. No, it was
I don't care. She wasn't in Rogue one. All right. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, so
This is a AI people have been posting this online like AI
Converts like cartoon characters into real people. Oh, yeah
That's all AI generated that most is lack from that's insane. That's not a real person. That's not a real person
That's insane. Give me more. Give me more Eric
Okay, well, that's that's a good one. That's so fucking good, dude. Yeah
Well, everyone check it out dudes II dudes and also check out that what's a movie that we're in together? I forget what it's called
You know what it's about? We're doing a movie called the throwback
That's what it's called. It's called the throw. It's called. It's called the throwback
That is so cool that you're doing it. I don't listen
I only just like I knew about this movie for a bit, but it's not of my doing and
So I'm happy to be on the team and it's great and Justina Machado is is in it
Wow, she's a fantastic actor and we've worked together before so I'm stoked about that and then you're coming out
That's gonna be so much fun. Yeah, I mean, I only did it because of you
Well, now I'm only doing it because of you because what is that? Oh, look at it. Is that Jessica Simpson?
Yeah, you also crazy that Jessica Simpson. That's so cute. Yeah, that was the first sketch. I ever did
Are you serious that you guys first sketch together? Yeah, that was the first sketch. I ever did
But you're frosted tip, you know, and I it was my I was so scared. I
Remember that I only do that character one time. It was a guy named
Donnie yeah, that's not a character dude. That's just you
You got Jessica Simpson and then over there pretending to be Fred Durst
But can I tell you what happened there Donnie is just so there's a scene in that thing where and they didn't they cut it out
but there's a scene where we're all dancing at the end, right and
I hit I was wailing my hands and I hit Jessica Simpson in the mouth. Oh
When she opened her mouth her teeth were red from blood dude and I remember Dick Blasucci going
Keep going. Yeah, and I was like
I
Fired, you know me in my head, but I remember that dude. I wrote who'd you play Fred Durst there, right? Yeah, yeah
Yeah, look how skinny I was. I mean you're back there again and young dude. We were killing it back
We were killing it before I had my tattoos removed. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's funny about those times great cast
Look at that. Oh, that's not a cast. That's when we came back to do. Oh, that's one of the last shows
Oh, that's right. Yeah, I myself and Moe. Yeah, Moe Alex came and again there was Deborah was Deborah
No, Deborah came back came back. Yeah. Yeah, but you know when
When I was on that show, I
Remember thinking I can't wait. What's next or?
You know, I can't wait to get out of the show to do something else. Yeah, and it's like I
wish I
Wish I was more
T-shirt of well, I was there. Yeah, really? Yeah, because it felt like because I've never been in a play really and I've never
I don't know what it's like to run around, you know, like life nights
You know what life night when you're in like a bunch of shit the best you're just you know
You're done with the sketching. You're just pulling off wigs and
Changing into the thing and like looking at your script and just the excitement of the night crazy crazy nights
Sometimes you would do pre-shoots at six in the morning and then you have to do something at night
And we was just like a crazy time, but I I just thought that that was going to be like forever
Me too, right? And it's not it's nothing like it. No, I
People asked like was it fun? Fuck. Yeah, it was fun. So of course there were all sorts of I mean you throw all these comedic
People together and really with mad TV. It's been said that the the inmates were running the asylum
Yeah, between those writers and those performers and writer performers and everyone just coming up with shit
It was like it was so
Yeah, you think it's just gonna last because you are in this crazy fast-moving
Machine such turnaround and it's like as soon as the show's over you get a pack of here's what's in the you know
We've done the table read earlier in the week and they've worked out what's good
What's gonna actually be in the show and it's like oh shit, okay?
This is what's in the pack. This is what we're shooting next week
Yeah, that we're gonna go and do a table read and then we're gonna move into rehearsals and do it
And it's like you barely have the weekend to to
You know to come off of that the last show and get ready for the next one, but you liked it that way
It was like yeah, it was weird, but I feel like everybody thought that
Okay, this is like this, you know
Saturday Night Live light or whatever you want to say, but we'll and definitely people of course everyone that's moved on
To do other things. We're all fortunate to keep going, but it it was this weird thing of like
Hey, we're gonna move on in a very specific way, right?
Like what does mad TV mean when Saturday night live Saturday night live means this and then living color means that or
What whatever what all the sketch shows down the line? What does mad TV mean?
But no, we never did one living color never did either, but like a mad TV movie
Yeah, or any of that shit. It was like once that show spat you out. It was like you're done
Yeah, and also you could tell that that
There was no promotions like I never like saw billboard enough that's on it never there was no promotional commercials
Really dude my first season season three. Yeah, they spent the entire flinking publicity budget. Yeah on a bus
that
That had our that was like had us on it the cast like all over this big dumb bus
You know like a huge cruise bus and it was going around town or sorry going around town
It's going around the country and it was like the mad TV bus and blah blah blah and come out and there's gonna be this
And that and that and this but they blew all the fucking money
They didn't have any money in the budget for publicity to fly us out or even have us live in the goddamn thing and get it
So all there was with it was this fucking bus
driving around
Our pictures. Oh, yo, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's the bus. That's the mad TV was a bus
Wow, that's our promotion. That was our entire budget. Yeah, and to see it now
It's only in Huntington Beach, too. Right. Yeah. Yeah
It was just this bus and it and on the show
They would run a commercial like the mad TV bus was blah blah blah and they shot this little promo
Yeah, meet the cast of mad TV. We don't have any money to yeah
So yeah, we're doing the show and that was it not a fucking commercial
You would never see a mad TV commercial on Fox. Yeah, unless it was within the mad TV our block
It was coming up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah coming up after after the local news
I was it was after after local news you would see a commercial for mad TV. Yeah
Two minutes before
I know it was which is something that happened with other TV show back in the day
I go what do we do we not know that we're about to watch the show that we're literally in the hour block
Yeah, you did feel like they didn't give a shit
It was also weird because when I went on I don't want to name names, but when I came on the show the year
I what came on there was a
lawsuit between an actor and the show right and then a lawsuit between two other actors as well
Right, so it's like two actors. I don't think there was I don't think it escalated to actual lawsuit
No, but there was threats or it was a weird one thing about t-shirts because we didn't have in yeah
Well, it was t-shirt, but there was also one about racism, right? Yes, there were received racism
There was a lot going on. Yeah, and when I came on and I remember one of the actors coming up to me and going
Why'd you sign up for this is a nightmare? Jesus. I was just like this is my first week
Yeah, it was like what yeah, but also it's like look in a show like that or that I mean there's books written about Saturday
Live. Yeah competitive. It was I do believe that is more competitive and even more dysfunctional just from what I've heard
Oh, yeah, no, no, I know a guy I had lunch dinner with a guy two weeks ago. That's on the show
Yeah, and he was just like just his hand his head was on his head the whole dinner
Going I don't know what I do man. Yeah, I'm so miserable. Well to get your shit on yeah
Like I remember there was someone writing on the show who's good friends with one of the cast members back in the
2000s and said that she
She was like all excited. Oh my friend so-and-so is on Saturday live. Oh cool. And then she didn't for like seven or eight weeks
She didn't get anything in the show got close dress rehearsal. She's in the show my god
And then last minute Lauren's like no, I don't think so and then so it's out
So she couldn't technically be in the credits yet or something. Oh, wow
So it's like she's you know, you're you're not just fighting for your job
Every week you're neat. You're not even on the show that you're being paid to be on yeah
Yeah, on Saturday lot. It's insane
And if you're a performer and you don't hunt down writers or bring your own shit and go
Again, this is just from what I've heard from other writers and performers
That that you're fucked. You're not you're not getting on the show. Whereas mad TV
Was run a little more like a TV show we there was sort of a thing of like well
You know will's light in this episode throw him in this sketch or like Bobby's light and he's new
So let's tell him that this is a character. We'll call him Donnie and let him
Yeah, no, I know there was a couple of episodes. We're like this week. You're gonna be
Japanese business man number two, right? Yeah, literally literally number two. I'm like who's number one
They cast that out yeah
Yeah, who's number one Pat Kilbane. He can do anything. Yeah, but one time
Helly endos, but you could but there it wasn't like like, you know, I put a dick was sushi's office
I heard about this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and and I did it because he didn't put me in the Jackie Chan sketch
I've talked about this before like it. How was there a Jackie Chan sketch at mad TV and you're not in it
He was actually sketch with Jackie. Yeah, he was actually there. Yeah, that's kind of weird. You want to you want to I
Mean shit. They had that super Asian episode of Saturday Night Live recently where they had I get I can't remember who was hosting
See Mulu the song Chi. Yes, right and then so him and like bow and yang and it was like
And I have a buddy who's working on the show right now as a director Mike Diva
Who's Asian and and so it's like, you know, so they you know on social media
They're like a like with writers and things. I think it's good
Oh, whatever. We didn't know what the fuck we were doing 25
Yeah, Jackie Chan's on the show. Yeah, Bobby Lee in it. Yeah, put Bobby Lee in the fucking sketch, but they didn't so I put in his office. Anyway
That's what you got, but I apologize dick. I love that guy. Um, so we're gonna do it on helpful advice
Go ahead on hopeful advice with Bobby Kalilah and will sasso
Long story short, I grew up and still live in a small town
Which is made even smaller because I'm English and I live in Quebec. So there are less of us
I'm currently taking my ex-boy my my I'm currently taking my ex-boyfriend to court for beating me up on multiple occasions
The entire English community that surrounds me has taken sides and have taken his side
He's an extrovert a popular likable guy in public for context
I have so much proof a judge decided to allow a trial which takes place this year on July 29th
People have seen the proof themselves and still take his side just for popularities
I guess my question is how do you deal with something like this to be more specific?
How do you become okay with with the fact that people choose what is popular over what's right despite having overwhelming proof?
Thanks, Leah
Can I can I just know this is not my thing? But does this person know that they were contacting a podcast and not an attorney?
We get some wild stuff. Wow. Yeah. So the further so and I just want to say out loud
But I just would like to preface whatever you're about to say and whatever I may be moving on to saying
Yeah, help this this person who's in a horrible situation. None of this will help
Unhelpful advice. Yeah
What this is I'm I don't really have a funny point of view. This is the honest the honest
The honest the honest thing is don't you want to really help this fuck? I am trying to help this person
So wait a minute you do unhelpful advice does this person so this person is joking on their own shit? No
No, they really want us to see what our point of view we say unhelpful to protect ourselves to protect ourselves, right?
So your pricks are going like hey, no, this is terrible. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, here's a bit
No, but this is real though. I don't think dudes. He would allow you to do this if dude
Like did you be like this is nothing but a liability and it's a waste of your comedic talent
You can't control how people feel and think right people will just have their opinions
So you can't you can't stress out about things you can't control, right?
So that's one thing. But the second thing is is that he is going to court, right?
That in itself, right is stressing him the fuck out
That just alone he might not get you know, I mean convicted. You know, I mean, I don't know what's gonna be the outcome
But this is not this is not a happy part of his life
I don't unless he's a narcissist and he enjoys the
Yeah, but if he's a normal or relatively normal guy who has like a rage streak or whatever
It's not a good time for him. He's stressed out. He thinks about it every day
What's gonna happen this and that and it's probably affecting him in a negative way, you know
But the outcome of the trial and how people feel you have no control over that and I
Just in my own personal life. I'm I'm going through a lot of different things and I
can't
You know on Twitter people's opinion. I I can't fight them. I that's just how they feel and they don't have I
Don't know why they say what they say, but it's like
That's it
Well, what will well, that's the currency. That's the currency of the internet is that people just kind of float out
It's not even it might not even be their opinion. I know, you know what I mean? That's the thing
It's just there to I mean trolling is trolling. Yeah, and they just want to get a rise out of you
So it's like here's the most abrasive thing I can say and the shorter it is the better
Like, you know, whatever any response on twi- I mean Twitter is Twitter used to be just dick jokes and she was fun
Yeah, it was fun and now it's like super whatever it is what it is now. I still I still cruise Twitter
I don't use it too often, but yeah, don't pay it any attention to it. Yeah, but the other thing is I'm sorry
I'll see like people with a profile. It's one thing if you say something that's super shitty or meant to hurt someone or is like
An absolutely awful take but I see people who are definitely very visible going. Yeah, yeah, fuck you
Which I think is horrible for the societal discourse, but it's also
Totally fine because yeah, you know what fuck you doesn't even mean much anymore
And if we're gonna be able to survive the way that the access that we're all
You know subjected to now and and that we all are sort of
We're all in it whether or not we like it
We all everyone gets a say and people under 30 don't get the way that you and I
Used to do comedy or be on TV or whatever and not have people coming at us just literally to be shitty
I think that you do have to raise the stakes to some level of oh, you know what fuck you
I'm shutting your fucking noise off because it doesn't fucking matter sounds like this girl though is
I don't know the particulars of whatever. Hopefully she gets she gets her justice, but
But the thing is
So who cares if he's fucking popular and like who cares? Yeah, like that doesn't have anything to do with the bottom line
Yeah, in the meantime stay at home shit in a cup. Don't go outside, right?
Order your food in hopefully you get a what is it called a three-for-one? Yeah, someone comes over find a new relationship
Somebody who doesn't mind that you're shitting in a cup and you have dead cats over a mountain of fucking newspapers
Yeah, and you pull your ass cheek outside ways to fart silently
Move on with your life and don't worry about how fucking popular this fucking goof is yeah, you know what I mean
He'll get it does like a bad guy man. Sure. They get laying your his hands on you. It's fucking fucked up
Yeah, yeah, we'll see. Well, I mean, but it's go it's in trial. It's going to trial go to trial
All right, so fucking a yeah, that's the thing nowadays man. I mean we gotta fucking rely on you Canadians have weird fucking laws
Oh, yes, we have extremely weird laws. We have the we have the house trade
You know what the house trade is every year you have to trade your house with a neighbor
Never allowed to keep your house for a year never heard of that one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you trade your house of equal value
Yeah, but just so that we can see how other people live. We're very much
Very woke and we trade our houses with there's no such thing as land
No land ownership
I mean you're complaining about the indoor plumbing this ladies plumbing stopped and started our plumbing has run
Totally it's all electric plumbing
But our poo is very small and it fits in
Yeah, because of the way we eat we clean nothing but salmon and peaches. I love Canadians, man
We're we're pretty fucking good. Are we we're pretty we're pretty advanced
Society
Now we got some we got some fucking problems in Canada to damn it shit fuck
Fuck ass shit fart. So
Dude Z where like what can they find we see dude Z dude Z you can get on YouTube
You can get it wherever you get podcasts at the podcast Spotify all that stuff are we're on the Instagram is is is pretty busy
At dude Z pod show it's dude with s y at the end du d e s y dude Z pod show Twitter
Instagram I guess we'll do the fuck check out the movie throwback the throwback throwback. Oh, here's some Instagram happenings
Oh, it made me read some news about heads in a box. Someone had human heads in a box in Denver right now
It's 36 degrees in Denver, brother. Yeah
You got these human heads in a box in Denver brother and nobody knows where they came from
See, it's just met him a few times. Yeah, is he nice. He's a very nice guy
Yeah, you do the Hulk impression in front of them. I have I
Oh, I did I didn't I do that ones. No, I don't know but you know where he is, dude
Well, he's in Clearwater Beach, which is it's right next to Tampa if it's not part of Tampa Hogan's hangout
I'm going there every fucking day. Okay, but can we go when I'm doing the movie? Yeah
Can you take me there? Here's what has to happen. Yes. First of all, yes. Yes. I
Hulk Hogan
The character of Hulk Hogan, I always have to remind myself
There's a man there also and there's there's been a lot of controversial things
That have come in and out of Hulk Hogan's life over the past few years. That's that notwithstanding
He was Superman to me when I was a kid. There's no there was nobody higher than Hulk. Yeah, so I also loved
You know, I love the fucking a team. I love BA Barakas, you know
Yeah, when he started hanging out with Hulk, it was like this to me was like what heaven better than like fuck
Batman Superman all the 80s like yeah
Who else was the big guy? David Hasselhoff none of these people mattered as much to me as Hulk Hogan
And now that you know, I like to goof on them and do stuff. Although it's very I don't get into, you know, me
I like light
Victimless comedy Bobby especially on mad TV as I'm impersonating Fred Durst. I'm sure that was very kind
But I've talked to him. He you know, he knows that I do an impersonation of him
And and I am gonna I'm gonna have to reach out and be like because I met him a few times
So I've been fortunate out when I'm there. Yeah, absolutely. I went up go to Hogan's hangout
Yeah, no, absolutely, but I said a stroke when I said that, you know, I don't want to hang out. I
I I'm gonna have to reach out. You have to reach out and be like
Hey, Terry. Oh, that's me on
That's that's we were promoting the movie the three Stooges and we went to
WWE Raw we're looking at a picture of me as
It was curly doing a Hulk Hogan person. Oh, that's insane. Oh, it went great by the way. Yeah, because
As a lifelong wrestling fan, you know, I believe that pro wrestling is a very unique art form
It's a I think you took me to one. Oh, you did. Yeah, you did take me to somebody like shared that online recently
Yeah on social media. Wait, wait, that's online. Yeah, there's a picture. There's video of me
Like, oh, and we're there with Shawnee with Sean. Oh, I tried to try to find it
I also brought Sean the guy you were talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah 3000 Andre
Andre 2000 because it was before three
and and I was giving you chops. I was chopping you. Oh, that's right. Yeah
Yeah, and we were ringside it. Yeah
I've been fortunate enough to do a lot of stuff with those weirdos and hang out and get to go to shows and
Meet Hulk a bunch of times. It's always weird for me
He's not, you know wrestling anymore now, you know, Hulk is 92 years old. She's doesn't he look great? No, he's 92
In his 60s, he's in the 60s. Yeah, he has to be. Yeah, but he's still 60
Uh, 60 fucking believe that. Well, you know, I have COVID like brain fog. So I was like, maybe I just older than Joe Biden
He's
Anyway, he's standing up straight. Let's give it will sasso
And we you know, you got a visit more often. I would love to I fucking hey, let me say something to your to your audience directly
Bobby right here is saying hey, you go to go
Just tell them online or fucking tell dudes and dudes you'll get it done and Bobby won't know anything about it
Say have will back. I'll come back on. You know what? I'll do some dudes a humor. Oh, I'll be
You tell me what to say. Yeah, I'll do a Hulk Hogan thing. Yeah, we'll have a great time
I'll get a fucking stack of solo cups and I'll eat nothing but figs and olive oil
So that when I get here, I can shit all over you. Hey
Hey
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