TigerBelly - Ep 343: Will Sasso, Canadian Science, the MADtv Bus & AI Farts

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

Bobby hits Jessica Simpson. Will Sasso impersonates Frank Caliendo. We talk Hogan's Hangout, stupid wolves, AI Nirvana, & pre-Andre 3000. Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Pr...ivacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus Whoa Whoa, dude, whoa Fucking awesome space. Yeah, we're stoked on it. We've been much happier here. It's awesome. Yeah, great God, I can't believe I haven't seen you so long. It's like, you know, whatever What are you pulled up like it was a little aggro, but Well, I was just I need to get a real run at that fucking driveway. Oh, yeah, yeah, he came on real fast and he's got his, you know, you know, his head
Starting point is 00:00:37 His head is a special very special head and that and When I saw him it was just like seeing a long-lost brother was beautiful. Do you want to start or do you want to catch it? I would do whatever you want to do. You want to do the podcast? Five, four, three, two, hey No, I wasn't even a song. Oh, wow. I wouldn't because I took I took I woke up from a nap So I'm a little groggo And I had to get up real early. What's really really 930. It was terrible. It was terrible. Anyway, um
Starting point is 00:01:36 So try to take a nap this and that and then I realized one of my best buddies are coming in and I got really excited But came in real aggro, but you know, he's Canadian beef. You know, I mean, yeah, I'm starting This is how we start this is how I yeah, this is so I'm so sorry go on Fucking as just go on attitude has not changed one gotta understand something before we go ahead Everything is content. I know We'll get some so well you should know that you guys have been doing Tiger Bradley now for like a decade, right? Yeah, yeah, something like that something like that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, you don't need me to tell you everything All right. Well, let me may may get back fucking asking me for can we please all right?
Starting point is 00:02:22 So anyway, sorry talking about start from the beginning. You were groggo. Yeah I love your song. I love your song. So anyway, let's love all your music Let's go to the let's just go to the intro to my friend. I I've known him for a very long time When I was on mad TV, he was one of the cast members had been there for a little bit And he was the only one that really talked to me in the beginning. That's not true Anyway, and then when he left I sabotaged our friendship because I you know, you know, I don't call back I remember we had that time where I was a calling back. We drifted apart a little bit
Starting point is 00:03:06 I wasn't paying attention But I did notice that you didn't call me back for a period of about three to five years I took to calling you as Frank Caliendo That burns, but he's getting back at returning things. Yeah, I would call and what Frank doesn't Doesn't like to return phone calls and shit. That's not why I did that I just thought I just wanted to be like boom tough act and tonight. I'm like I I would literally do like a Frank impersonation. Oh my god, Bobby Lee. It's me Frank Do you think he was really upset when John Madden died?
Starting point is 00:03:40 No, if we're talking like from the point of view of Frank and his attachment to John Madden professionally. Yeah, no, I think he's Squozen all the juice from that But personally probably as we all were yeah before I ask you I want to say Calila were you upset when Hall of Fame? Coach John Madden Raiders passed away. I gotta say I lit a candle that night. Okay. Yeah, I got it. I was not sad Yeah, I was not sad. Yeah, Bobby. What about you when Bobby Knight dies all very sad. Yeah, I'll be very sad
Starting point is 00:04:17 Yeah, yeah, my namesake. Yeah, your white Indiana basketball coach namesake, but we still have the same we have the same temperament Oh, yeah, he's definitely you I can tell just by the scuffs on the floor that you've thrown chairs He I get angry. Oh, yeah, but can I go back to the the beginning of the show again? No, can it be intro? Maybe? So anyway, um and He's been honestly do honestly dude, you've been fucking killing it like what what you were on that sit Oh, sorry my alarm because I was taking a nap and Oh Yeah, I'm 15 minutes late and then the alarm
Starting point is 00:05:02 After that. Yeah, it was just a preemptive alarm, but You were killing it. I mean I remember it was either during the pandemic you had a sitcom Oh, yeah, I had a sitcom for a minute during the pandemic on ABC or CB ABC, right? It was a family one That's right. I think I saw an episode. You're very funny in it Oh, cheers. I'm not a big three camera sitcom guys. So, you know, I mean, yeah, we're getting one out of me is pretty good Yeah, no, it was great. Yeah, it's a gun. Christine of it all and and Curtin Guillermo DS. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. It's television show. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everything. I'm on No, what are you talking about? I want to talk to you about and then and just like that
Starting point is 00:05:40 Are you doing another season of that? This is the hold on I can tell by the confused look on your face that I need to go This is the much-awaited sort of sequel to sex in the city that that's the that's what it is Yes, you're mentioning that you're oh that I don't know. Okay. It got picked up, but I don't know Yeah, you'll be you'll be doing. Well, they they made a call, but I don't know. Yeah, we never know You never know in this fucking thing man. That's the fun part being in the business. Um, Was it, you know, I I enjoy doing it, but it was like not the funnish like I was it, you know, like when we're on that
Starting point is 00:06:19 Yeah, together, you know, we hung out a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Remember we I remember take you took me to a couple of parties What did you took me to this house? You just fart? No, no, I'm just moving But I will you know, we hung out a lot so you know, there's none of that going on on that But it was still a fun experience. That's cool. All right. Well, sorry. It wasn't the thank you for the movie I'm doing a movie and I just found out you're doing it. Wait, what? Yeah, so I I I'm doing I'm gonna be doing a film and I just found out you're gonna be in it because I just told you in your driveway, yeah So let me get this straight
Starting point is 00:06:58 Yesterday I get a call. Yeah Saying do you want to do this movie? We'll we'll we'll say so it's two only two days. It's in Florida And in my head, I'm like, oh, this is will Getting me a job. No Going pulling through for me. Yeah, no. And so when I told you about it, you had no idea. So it's like So I guess the producers reached out. Yeah, you know, it's shouldn't be much news to you Bobby That people like you in the business you were most recently on and just like that Now this is the sequel
Starting point is 00:07:34 The city all right, but yeah, no, honestly, I had no idea that You're doing this thing. I'm stoked. I'm so stoked about it. That's great How are they? Yeah, man. Are we gonna eat meals or whatnot? Yeah, let's eat meals. Yeah, the best thing to eat You shouldn't eat anything else really. No, but I think you and I would gorge. Yeah. Yeah, we absolutely gorge They show up to set looking different the next day I haven't spent a whole much a whole lot of time in the area of Florida Where we're shooting where is it Tampa? Yeah, yeah, but they got some good, you know, well one thing I'm very excited about is they have like Hulk Hogan's little
Starting point is 00:08:09 Stores there. He has a store. I love hulky. Yeah Where you got a three four Three for one two for one. I thought you said three. I never got a three Congratulations. Thank you. That's pretty impressive feet Tampa was the only time. I don't if I should talk about it I'm comfortable. It's okay. No, I will Tampa was the only city where I made love to two women In one day, okay Wow, and it was that they didn't know about each other, right? It was one of those things where
Starting point is 00:08:41 because I've heard like Other comments talk about you know, I mean, I don't want to name names, but I know dudes that do it it was just like I just never thought it was in my skill set and And I had a skill is that yeah, I want a skill. Yeah, what skill sets no I mean just like being desired in that way for me like every time like before Kalila every time I would be with a girl to be like This is a miracle like I won the lottery, right? But that day was like a magical day where where it happened twice. Well, I had to save nut juice You know, I mean, how long is your refractory period?
Starting point is 00:09:18 Usually a week, but I mean great usually a week, but yeah, yeah, but for that time I It was like you stepped up like I shot shot again, you know, yeah, it was pretty cool Yeah, but that's never happened before or after I mean, that's really just a just a matter of math and averages if you are If you're a person who's You know engaged in coitus with a partner, let's say five times five Times yearly and three of them happen in one day. That is just the way it could be all five or it could be Spread out every other month. Yeah, but yeah, I don't think that's I don't think that has I don't know that you can brag about that just sort of I wasn't bragging
Starting point is 00:10:03 It was just a story that I brought up my friend. It's it is yeah, so it does feel good though Hey, no, it yeah It means that there's more than a few hours in the day to you you there was that and then you went off Yeah, probably had you know yet you went to eat somewhere and then no It was one of those things were and someone someone left the hotel. Okay, and then an hour later somebody came up Yeah, an hour. Wow, like an hour hour and a half. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool That's pressure. Yeah, I would have thought that it was two organic situations happening separately like you are how you have like you're in a relationship previous to Kalilah and
Starting point is 00:10:41 She comes out with you to like you're doing a show or you're shooting something out in Florida and it's like come with me We're gonna do this thing. Okay, great Yeah, or a weekend in Tampa doing stand-up and then you have a horrible fight and you split up and she leaves and you guys are Screaming at each other in the lobby of the hotel. Yeah, and then you know the gal at the at the stand the receptionist The reception. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like no one calls it that no one calls it the stand. Whatever That's what I call it in Canada. So you have to respect that And then you know, you guys have just been having like some late-night chats over those little tins of Pringles or at least I do And then she's like couldn't help but notice you were screaming your head off at that person
Starting point is 00:11:23 Yeah, everybody today. How about I come up later and we hang out and you know, no pressure. No just talk. Yeah Yeah, but that does sound more organic. Yeah, that just sounds organic, but that's never I've never been to like a restaurant or Or You know at a hotel at the stand. Yeah, and had had the lady working at the stand go Let's hook up. I they have to I've always had to have somebody know me already who I am Yes. Yeah, that that happens a lot with sex. You know the person for a while Oh in order to want to have sex with you for because all reasons are other than physical. This is what
Starting point is 00:12:08 All right, we know who you are So, um, who you sing now same girl. I am engaged to my girl. Yeah Yeah, hey cheers. Thanks. Yeah, Molly and I have been together for like three years Yeah, guys have two dogs one of which you found in the middle of a freeway two dogs. Yeah, Molly's had her little dog Ronnie for like years She's like 11 years old and then yeah a couple years ago during the pandemic She's originally from Northern California. We're driving back to LA and to make a long story short We pulled over to get gas like halfway this little town. It was July the third fireworks going off everywhere Oh, and there were some scared dogs
Starting point is 00:12:45 We're actually chasing one that was near the freeway on the other side of a fence big big dog and we're like running Sharing trying to like throwing Ronnie's treats Molly's, you know, our other dog a little cute little Yorkie Dotson And then we're throwing those treats Dog tears off into the night like fuck get back in the truck. We're like kind of like damn that, you know What's going on? We're about to roll off Molly's like look out. There's another one I just see the back of Lulio. We ended up calling him Lulio stupid little head Oh, he's the sweetest little like 12 pound. We don't know what the hell he is. He looks He's like Papillon perhaps there's some border collie. There's some Chihuahua. There's some kind of terrier or something
Starting point is 00:13:26 He's got like a strong jaw, but he's cute. We thought he was a baby chocolate lab. He's just brown I should have brought him. He's like but was he was he homeless? We think he was in a situation where like he had ticks and fleas. Oh We find out he wasn't chipped. He was a little bit underweight, but he was happy He was loving he had never had a bath, but he never he never stinks or anything, right? Like he's he just everything, you know comes off him like it like a duck like, you know You know like rain on a duck sort of thing like just everything goes off. There he is. Oh, he's cute Yeah, he's on the left and little Ronnie's on the right when they met or they did they get along right away?
Starting point is 00:14:07 Oh, was it Ronnie's the boss little Ronnie? She's she's the so cute So he kind of but he is very well adjusted to her and he's he's he gets along well Particularly with big dogs. He's fallen in love with one of Molly's best friends dog She has this big old pit bull. They love each other dogs it and his other her cousin's dog is big huge, you know Fucking golden retriever. They love each other and he's just the sweetest little guy and he didn't know from a leash He didn't understand dog food. He he we but we think he was loved maybe Like this town, you know, it was kind of like there was this rough dude like I was holding them and we're like in this empty lot and we're going what the fuck right and
Starting point is 00:14:54 There's this guy over by this this house and there's a couple little puppies walking around him And I was just holding Lulio and I go, hey, what's up? What's up, and I'm like, how you doing? I'm like show look I got this fucking dog. He's like, yeah, not bad Okay, so that guy didn't claim him and I'm not gonna go door-to-door in this. No, is this your adorable little dog So clearly he was we think he was like living in a garage eating pizza crust and stuff Oh, yeah, I think he was loved But maybe someone wasn't in in someone couldn't take care of him or perhaps it was that stretch I don't know what stretch of the highway you were in but there are a lot of
Starting point is 00:15:32 Because I do a lot of like rescue stuff. Oh, yeah a lot of neglectful situations. Yeah Well the further north you go in California. It's like Like I said like Molly's cousin's dogs like up there. It's the country a lot of farm dogs Don't even dinner. They never come inside. Yeah, you know what I mean? So, uh, and um But what's work? Let me ask you something. What's right a dog living in a house But really no one touches the dog plays tip But he gets all the food and all the right But then a dog living out in the streets, but he does get love from his owner for the record
Starting point is 00:16:08 Yeah homeless people take very good care of their dogs 95% of the time if they have there This is one perfect example out by the house of pies right here There was a guy pushing a five pit bulls on a cart and it was a really hot day And one of them was a puppy and I was like hey like can I help you with you know? I mean providing for these dogs or whatever and in fact I wanted to pay to get one of the dogs because this five is a lot He's unhoused or whatever and he was like he couldn't pay me enough money Oh, wow, this is my family and I'm like I respect that you know, but ask the dog the dogs are happy
Starting point is 00:16:49 They were what well what they're stupid wolves. They Every dog is a stupid stupid Bizarrely bread and I say that with love. Yeah wolf who's like check it out. I'm outside. I'm rubbing my face in a dead mouse Yeah, that's what I don't get it either. Yeah, but it's like I got to remind myself if Lulio isn't right next to me He's outside rubbing his face and something dead They love dead stuff. Yeah Yeah, but but okay, you're right I guess you know, maybe you're right if I was a dog maybe I'll be with the homeless
Starting point is 00:17:25 He likes to overindulge our pets and I don't like it. I I hear what you're saying that I overindulge the damn pets What what pets so how many what I have seven whoa? What yeah, it's going on what we've always had a lot. Yeah, we've always seven. Okay. Yeah We have four dogs and three cats. Holy shit foster a lot to we foster usually have a foster downstairs living downstairs So we usually have a foster mom with puppies. Oh, that's awesome. I get hungry when they come I'm kidding It's just an ancestral All right, it's a part of my heritage. No, I I love that dog so much
Starting point is 00:18:03 Um, but I just but I do watch like hoarders. Yeah, I've been watching a lot of hoarders lately Yeah, don't you do love the show and the worst is when you see a dog in that environment Like chained up, but it's also, you know, I mean, there's like 19 feet fucking piles of newspapers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, that's not a good fucking hate hoarders, man Yeah, me too. You do. Why? Cuz they they're holding on to all that cool stuff. Yeah, give me some less fortunate They're so selfish. Yeah, yeah hanging on to all those awesome newspapers from the 80s and 90s I saw one yesterday at the lady a lady her plumbing didn't work 10 years ago. So she decided to
Starting point is 00:18:48 poo in cups Oh, right, but in plastic cups. Yeah, and she was just laying around the house and then over the years They just fell and they fell into the ground and with the with the fucking rat shit and with all the dog shit, too Cuz you had a dog, right that it piled up and now it's like a six foot high more floor of just Fossilized shit. So they take shovels like it's ice and crack it. You're right Oh, my I mean while the dog is chained to a fucking wall. What's that face? What do you mean? What's that? Disgusting face. I'm just talking about a six-foot
Starting point is 00:19:32 What's that face? Yeah, don't do the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like and then they have to chisel and then The but the world why don't like hoarders is they're still in denial. What's wrong? Yeah, no Yeah, it's very specific mental illness. Yeah. Yeah, and they just never but I don't I'll never get it You know heroin I get don't you I mean Yeah way more than hoarding. It's like you get to just kind of check out and Lay around and there's all that that cool Iggy Pop music Yeah, you have leather jacket you got no shirt on you and you and Bremner If you're in the if you're a you and McGregor yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and the other guy
Starting point is 00:20:17 Yeah, yeah, I get I get drugs and alcohol. It makes you feel Just instantaneously absolutely, right? Yeah, but hoarding like human shit is you know, I don't yeah There's no yeah, I don't think it's the same kind of addiction. What what what what that's rich of you What you're the poo master? I am a poo master. Oh, he loves we're all poo masters in our own way Yeah, but she said the poo man. I know like those are the grandmasters Like I'm a highlander like they only want You're like blade. Yeah, I'm bled. Thank you. Poop lady. Yeah. I'm poop blade. Um, I think we're all poo masters We've all been doing it for a very long time. Yeah, it happens whether you like it or not
Starting point is 00:20:56 Yeah, at least she's shit in a cup you you bear-ass it on your back seat. All right now We're gonna get there. What I know is this what you're talking about. What is this? Is this the lady who's scooping poop? No, they're all like that's every episode like that. She's scooping. Yeah Yeah, that's what they just trying to clean it up though, at least I What I do is I take the poo from one I get a home depot bucket and I haul it through and sometimes I spill it Yeah, and then that means there's more poo and I just can't figure out We're watching a woman just scatter poo around. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
Starting point is 00:21:33 Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean bless us all You know I think in this specific as I've seen I'm all right. She had You know hundreds of cats Right, so they would lift up on the couch Right, and they'll just be skeleton remains of cats. Oh my god. Yeah. Anyway, why don't you start a new podcast? What's the face bro? Again, not with the fucking face George. You should you should start a podcast called poo blade You just break down every episode of hoarders
Starting point is 00:22:02 I Would listen to that. Yeah, and I pooed in my car Three times in my life Never in the new car you I'll never Poo in the new car. I'd rather fit In on the streets than poo in my new car. Have you ever attempted to bear hand it at least? No, cuz mine's mine's not Let's just say it's not so lady I pooped myself once in my car where not too long ago probably just just a handful of years ago
Starting point is 00:22:35 In my driveway, I just couldn't even get up my driveway You were coming home or leaving I was coming home in a hurry because I was like gonna poo gonna poop Yeah, and then was driving up the driveway filled my shorts with poop. Oh, but it was like kind of like it was the consistency of like like I would say Wet cement that had been out for an hour like it all stayed where it was supposed to yeah, it didn't even stay in the seat This is a great time. I'm glad to see you again But just my last note my last note, right? It's not the shame of the poo, right that gets to me, right?
Starting point is 00:23:10 It's the warmth of it. Oh Right feeling and then when it's there for it starts to turn cold Anyway a little side note if I was a nurse charting your driveway poo We'd call that a formed poo form poo. Yeah formed. Yeah, Bobby's are Borderline not formed. Mmm. Yeah. No, this was I was fortunate because I've had all kinds Were you with Molly though at the time? No, no, but she was home Okay, did you tell her about it right then and there or yeah, right away? I walked into the she was in the den. I walked in without any clothes on go going. You'll never guess what I
Starting point is 00:23:48 Thought I heard you in the backyard. Did you turn the hose on? I'm like, yes, I did and No, I was winning Winnie the Pooh and it Donald Duck and it I had a shirt on But just everything was like I gotta take a shower. I'll talk to you later But I got the rest of it off anyway. Yeah Would did would you do it in the pandemic? What I do. Yeah, I mean you in Canada over here. No, I was here in the castle It was in the in my home Yeah, have you been to his house?
Starting point is 00:24:15 It looks like a castle Like like old-school Harry Potter castle. It's beautiful. It's an evil. It's an evil. It's an evil castle It's a great house and I remember This is back in the day when this is I don't we talked about this ever before but I Remember you we set up a couple of TVs in that house. Yeah, and we what played what halo halo And parties what land parties? Yes, as a matter of fact. Yes when I when I bought that house I was it was part of the renovation I was like I need a land that goes from the master bedroom down to the you know, the little den there and so that we can
Starting point is 00:24:55 Specifically to play halo. Yeah, we have halo really fun. Yeah, it was great Yeah, I remember your party is being really fun. Yeah, I used to have a party or two a year Yeah, for like a decade. What what happened? Uh, you know, I just decided that it would be better if I Shunned most people inside. Yeah and laid on my bed for most of the past decade previous to you know, I guess meeting Molly and deciding that Shitting in plastic cups and teetering them here and there around the home is not for me and
Starting point is 00:25:31 And you know, so I as you can see I'm clean cleanly. Yeah, we shave now and I really got my shit together But we used to have fun part. Can we do another one? I would love to have a party How about if I co-sponsor? Yeah, no, it's not gonna be one of those dry parties So we don't need one of your sponsor. Oh, you know, no Like it'll be will and Bobby's party co-host. Oh, yeah, not not dude. Fuck that. Have a party here. So anyway But yeah, yeah, I'd like to have another another bigger party. Yeah, man I used to have like but we were it was we were young like yeah, I mean young and fresh I was fortunate enough to get into that house. I was you know, I was in my 20s and shit. Yeah. Yeah for a while. It was like I
Starting point is 00:26:17 Know what I should do. I mean the the the the den and the ground floor of the home is good for having a lot of people Yeah, there's no carpets. There's some very hard floors. Yeah People can be a people are always falling off of this and that hanging from the beams split in their head open You remember Dylan Stewart. I love Dylan Dylan He cracked his life. Yeah, he's in Long Beach. Oh, tell him I said hi white picket fence. Love that dude He's white, right? No, I said white picket fence, but he's white. He is a white person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Well, he's from Canada. We grew up. Oh, that's right. That's right Was it there? I just wasn't there a black guy that we used to hang out Sean Sean
Starting point is 00:26:52 Mm-hmm. Love that dude. He's still around. Yeah Long Beach Yeah, maybe Long Beach. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but I really like that guy. Yeah, that guy was a skinny guy, right? No, he was kind of thick. He was a little Thick, that's what I mean. He was like the opposite. He was like pre Andre three thousand three thousand. Oh He would wear he would wear like plaid pants and and like like a shirt with like a skinny little time We go to the Beverly Center and and then like all the other like other black guys would make fun of him He wouldn't notice. Yeah. Well, I think you're behind on your water intake. Oh, I am a little bit. No, I'm oh, yeah That's right. Hold on. I have a little timecode on the side. Where are you at right now? Right now? I'm at 11 a.m
Starting point is 00:27:38 We wait what what is that? Drinking you're concerned about a water at a specific type of the day. What does that do? I have no idea What is supposed to do now? You're at 1 3 at 2 p.m. You're at 2 p.m. Yeah, I'm at 2 p.m I can catch up quick. You want me to drink the whole thing, but then I'll get thirsty No, but is that is that some sort of regimen that's supposed to be good for you drinking water? No It's a good one No, not drinking water dude. I know water is very good for you need to replenish yourself with liquids Yeah, but what but because there's like numbers on it and
Starting point is 00:28:15 Time is that those times those are times down there? Yeah, so is there it? I'm just a is there some sort of science. No, I I don't know. Yeah, probably I just like a lot of water I like to drink a lot of water. I've always drank way too much water. You like we have water as well So if you run out of that water, we have more water. You got milk coffee. Yeah. Yeah Another thing that you I learned from you. Yeah speaking of water was when you lost weight Yeah, no, I'm just saying I mean I'm yeah back back in the day when you lost I lost a shit ton away. I should look but now over the past 20 years I just like to gain and lose it every now. You look no you look the same
Starting point is 00:28:52 I think well when I first lost weight. Oh, yeah, I remember I was down to like I was very very far down Yeah, yeah, and now I'm just kind of comfy fat, but you weren't what you were though. No. Yeah. Yeah. I was very large I was 450 pounds up my biggest. Yeah, and then I got down to 258 and had to have and I then they cut to in two surgeries. I had Eight pounds of skin cut off. Wow. Wow Surgery thing and then I was so I was 250 You know like something like 10% body fat. Yeah, very cock diesel will sass over And then and now I've just been kind of going. Hey, this is great
Starting point is 00:29:31 Probably added a lot of years to my life So I think a really good thing to do would be to tax my heart by gaining and losing 50 pounds for the next 20 fucking years and that's what I've been doing. Yeah, but you said that one of the things you did was You'd be on the treadmill for hours not like on a high speed thing But you just walk for hours on the yeah, right? Yeah, so when I'm on the peloton I try to go as long as I can and I just remember you You know mean learning that from you it doesn't do a whole lot for losing fat But it's good for cardiovascular and if you got nothing else to do, yeah
Starting point is 00:30:05 I would watch an entire movie. I'll like watch Braveheart while on the fucking treadmill not so much anymore though What a movie and then oh what a terrific movie. Yeah, do you remember this they may take our lives, but they'll never take Oh, you're free to remember that. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do all sorts of movie references Yeah, and at the end of the movie movie of yours that you like I'll do a thing. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Um, good fellas good fellas Hold on I got one. Hey, I told you not to do what are you thinking? Why would you do that? Yeah, I didn't know yeah Yeah, here's let's get complex. Yeah, you're gonna stump me. I'm gonna stump you Yeah, and see if you can do and even if you don't know it. I want you to commit to it. Oh, yeah, all right
Starting point is 00:30:54 I always I want a conversation between Han Solo and Chewbacca got it a Chewy listen if we're gonna get to the gigba big above system by the Well, we got to pick up that kid and lay over on the moon of Endor. Yeah, what do you think of that Chewy? I say we better get That's the best Chewy because you did the translation You want to know what the fuck he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. I say we get going Han. Yeah. All right
Starting point is 00:31:28 Did you eat did we eat no? Let's see when we get yeah, all right. You want to go to that? Yeah that place. Yeah, I like that place You know, I Chewy lost me during one of the move the newer movies Mm-hmm. Oh one day well, like there was a scene where you know, those were where we're Luke Skywalker with that the fucking island he was living on. Oh Recently the water island, right? Right. He was like just a hermit on a water island, right? Right, and there was these cute little Penguins penguin things that were like they're trying to mark they marketed as toys, right? And there was a scene where They showed the two penguins watching Chewbacca trying to eat something and on a grill or whatever
Starting point is 00:32:13 Rotisserie he had killed one of those corgi thing awesome, right? Yeah, and I walked out of the fucking theater. No, you did I did and I walked back in yeah, but it infuriated me Yeah, yeah, you why would Chewy do that because he's a fucking he's a stupid wolf. He's just like oh Oh, it's just like Lulio. No, but he has more cognitive like reasoning. Yeah, no He is a he is a humanoid kind of what how's that different from a human eating pig beef and other cute little animals Yeah, we eat all sorts of cute. I and okay, but in a movie like okay first I've never seen a movie where some guy, right, right is like Eating a steak, right and there's two cows watching. I'm going whoo. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:59 So like, you know, that's why I mean I know in in real life if I Yeah, that is weird those things. Yeah, one of those things man in front of there. Yeah in front of there, man Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it is weird It would be like it would be I'm shocked that they didn't do that like in 1987 return to the Jedi Chewy just eaten Ewoks Yeah, right same thing. It's the same concept guys are cute, but Ewoks talk. Yeah, and yeah There's literally like now the tauntaun scene in Empire Strikes Back I get that the tauntaun was already dead was already and they never ate him, but they used him as insulation Yeah, that's okay out of survival perfectly fine. Where as if Chewy was like it's cold here on this water island
Starting point is 00:33:43 And he just stomped through right with those cute little guys mouths. Yeah more than his slippers That would be that would be weird using them for warmth. Yeah, or if one of them naturally Oh, you know, it could be right. I don't know what the concept behind it But um or how the cork well, I don't know what I think they're called corgi. I don't like see a porgs porgs Yeah, I don't know how that pork died, but what if the pork had already been dead that could have been Yeah, but if you have any type of intelligence, you never just pick up a dead animal and eat it You don't know how it died. Right. So he did murder it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Chewy would either rub his face into a dead porg or cook a kill-and-cook alive one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:34:22 I would I would try one though during the credits of that movie. It should have just been Chewy on a killing spree and Preparing them in different ways like Right like a like a you know like a pork poke pokey Yeah, or you know, you know like a ceviche kind of thing Yeah, and then like grilling and frying them or doing all sorts of tick-tock what I would do If I was a director, I would just do one where you're pounding the meat Yeah, right and then do the the the cutlet the cutlet the cutlet. Yeah, let's make a pork cutlet. Yeah You know I mean see that and I would eat that if there was like a Star Wars themed restaurant
Starting point is 00:35:03 Yeah, like Disneyland or Disney World. Yes, and it's like pork cutlets. Yes, you know and the kids are crying and you're like Chicken relax. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we need more like child abuse at theme parks like when we were kids What do you mean? Well, we were always forced to eat like you're eating Pluto, but Goofy's Ever eat at that restaurant? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I used to go to this place in I would Specifically go to Vegas to go to the Star Trek experience What's the funny? And I think it was at the Hilton yeah, and and I anyone I was there with like in Vegas They'd be like I think I took Ike there once. Yeah. Yeah. Why you go there, dude? We're at the Bellagio, right?
Starting point is 00:35:50 I got it's a fucking Star Trek experience, but what I loved about it is they had Romulan ale Romulan ale. Yeah, so they had a bar there. Yeah, right and you know some poor guy had the Klingon Prosthetics. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you want? You know, I mean and I'd like Romulan ale, please Yeah, and he'd have to do it like a scripted line like That's illegal and you know, I mean the Federation, but I got someone You know, I got something in the back. You know me like one of those kind of lines Yeah, and we would giggle and he would come and they put some sort of thing where it would like Have a vaporized effect to it
Starting point is 00:36:29 There was like steam coming from it. It was just ginger, right? It wasn't just ginger ale, but you know me dry ice. Oh, I see Yeah, but I just and then and then you get you what the dry ice The dry ice is dangerous. Oh, it's like a dry icy kind of a thing. Yeah, and then what you could do is They had the Enterprise and I used to love I would wait in line hours and take the photo It was what with like a cardboard cut out of Patrick Stewart That's the catch the catch is I was Picard baby. Yeah. Yeah That's part again, huh? You fart again. I'm always farting. We're always all farting just a little bit Did you know that scientifically speaking? What do you mean? We're all always seeping just a tiny bit of methane from our holes
Starting point is 00:37:17 No, I don't know that's Canadian science Is that the truth because that really that really scares me no for me it would be I Would like some sort of system where maybe I just like tuck a plastic McDonald's drop my ass So I'm not making loud farts. Right. It's just always just coming out whenever and then you can just kind of Kink it to the side while you're in your car. Yeah, and you might avoid Shitting your pants with a form poo while you're driving up your driveway. So you don't have to hose your asshole down to the backyard Oh, I used to Make fun of a boy that I dated actually get the egg from it because he would always spread his cheeks when he would fart
Starting point is 00:37:55 Oh, and now I'm like, wait, that's genius. That's how you I do. That's how you fart silently. That's what I do Yeah, if you spread it real There's no sound. What do you mean? Uh-huh. It's more like I've been doing that lately Well, you know what I do and this is now this podcast. Well, whatever we're talking about cups of shit. We don't give a shit We talk about this every week. Well, this is something that I'm sure people do. No, Kalyla You you wouldn't do this. I think the guys here. Hey guys. Yeah, men and women sure are different Hey, you know, I've been doing some stand-up. You want to hear a joke? Yeah, have you really been to a stand-up? Women sure are different. No, I haven't but
Starting point is 00:38:33 You know what I do is like I'm laying there on my side and yes You reach down and you grab a bum cheek and you just slowly and so just comes out and then My wonderful fiance will say hey, did you what the hey don't you know and then I'll blame it on Ronnie Cuz she's a gassy little dog. Ah, but but of course we all have our own distinct smells. Yeah Fortunate for me and you're not gonna believe this Ronnie's smell worse than mine. Oh, so yep Here's a little Korean science for you. Mm-hmm, right? And this is something that I I learned, right is Korean science, isn't that the new that's the new guns and roses
Starting point is 00:39:12 20 years to come out Chinese democracy. Wow sweet. Oh, that's a fucking sweet sweater Yeah, I was wearing a gun for you, baby. Yeah Anyway, here's some Korean science Korean science alert My poop my farts have not been smelling at all. Oh in fact. Yeah, that's the most Korean thing. No, I'll tell but Oh Very clean and efficient. Yeah, you know, um in fact the smell is crisp Oh, it's like almost oxygen like a spring time. Like it's like you're on a lake in yeah, you know the Great Lakes
Starting point is 00:39:53 I don't know what the Great Lakes are the Great Lakes. Yeah, there's a yeah during like during the spring on a great lake on a boat and you get a gust of that true little gust of wind, right? No smog not that's what my fart and I but I but One time last week It smelled real bad. What did you and no, it's not eating what I realized is that the fart smell When you have a gun loaded Oh, when there was a when there's a poo in the shaft. Oh, right. So the air goes through the poo Yeah, right to get released the filter the bad fill right. It's a bad filter, right? So it's like here's the big deal. That's that's and that's I've heard your science
Starting point is 00:40:41 I was reading science where I where I read this but there was some sort of story just about, you know, North Korean propaganda and stuff And that they were claiming that Kim Jong-un's farts smell like a spring meadow Even when he has a shit in his asshole. That's a lie. I know it's impossible, right? It's like when they say that he bold a perfect game or he shot at whatever under par and golf or stuff And they say his poo even if he has a big poo poo lodged in his hole That his farts still smell like he will just to cabinet members. Have you ever seen video of this where he just pulls his pants down? And they never see that into his hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah like that. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yes. Yeah, that's very good Yeah, go. Thank you. Yes. Yeah, that's very good
Starting point is 00:41:27 You know one of our Sponsors on my other podcast a couple was it last year was this company that made but tape and And basically its job is to keep your at your cheeks spread apart for whatever purpose you need that for There are three Let's name it three purposes right who I can think yeah. Yeah number one So you never farts we know that never fart so you never fart, right or the constantly the seeping Yeah, so the cheeks spread apart sweetie. It doesn't you don't tape the asshole. Yeah, I understand Yeah, okay, it would make no sense if you tape the asshole. Yeah, right
Starting point is 00:42:04 Yeah, that's and also, why would you sell that I could just do that on my own? Right, I'll just go get tape electrical tape. I just do that to check for worms. They tape the asshole and you check for the larva That's me backing up But let me ask you about that right Why would you have larvae in your butthole because kids and humans get parasitic worms? Yeah, you rub your face in a dead mouse and then later you have Oh, I didn't I'd like to market a tape that's the opposite of that that keeps your butt cheeks together Fart, it's loud so sort of like a super trap muffler
Starting point is 00:42:39 I'm like a like a load of the ground, you know, Honda or Mitsubishi. Yeah, you're like come on with a Yeah, yeah, just like tape. That's really it's for and it's for sweaty big sweaty butt guys like me Hi, I'm Will Sasso. Are you having a hard time making loud farts? I'm scaring your partner out of bed. Laying it on the dock. Yeah, it will Sasso's butt tape But you know what it would backfire Because if you're ass if your ass, right? Yeah, it's clamped down like that. Yeah, right? It would sound not like a far, but like a what whistle quiff. Oh So I don't think you've heard a quiff lately. I have they sound like tight farts
Starting point is 00:43:19 I just watched a funny quiff on Instagram a girl She was like, oh, I'm gonna talk to my duck. Yes. I saw that one. You see that? Yeah. Yeah going viral today Hey, everybody check out the internet speaking to the internet. You want to talk about my new podcast? I got one What's it called it's called dude Z Dude Z who is it with me and Chad Colchin? Do you know Chad? You ever met Chad? No, who is he Chad's a Writer of writer and producer a films movies. He writes books and shit. We've known each other almost 20 years and Yeah, we got a new podcast and it is the this is why I stuck this sticker. That's our logo It's a D and
Starting point is 00:44:01 Dude Z is the first ever there. We are it's the first ever podcast ever Actually run by this proprietary AI. It's run by artificial intelligence. We had a company Yeah, we had a company approach us that said We have this proprietary AI that's moving into the podcast space. We want to use AI for I mean Everyone's using AI for everything, you know nowadays. Yeah, there's medical applications and governments are being run by AI And so we have this fucking But anyway, so I understand. Yeah, all right. Yeah, yeah, all right anything Asian he gets like Yeah, I know I know China. Yeah. Yeah, so we started a new podcast called dude Z well
Starting point is 00:44:45 We didn't start it this this thing approached us. They said all you guys got to do is show up we will give you the assignments we will give you the segments and Basically the AI one of the things that we've learned that it does and that it guarantees is that each Episode well it guarantees this. I don't know if it does it But each episode should be better than the last because it gathers data based not only on our podcast But comments out there analytics of what has been heard what the audience is responding to says less of that more of this and Yeah, it's really fucking. I don't know. It's interesting. It's a fun thing and basically it's taken our Like we gave our like our passwords
Starting point is 00:45:27 Search histories data histories purchase histories. It has all of our text messages between each other and everything else So that has access to everything. Let me get this straight and design. Let's look at this podcast We just did today. Okay. Okay, so people are listen people are listening, right? Yeah, and They they like the the tape in the bottom. Yeah, right that whole right tape in the butt thing, right? So the AI will get the comments and all the stuff and the clips and all this stuff, right? It generates and then the next week Doodzy or the people that run the thing go. It's just doodzy now. It's just doodzy in us. Okay, but you guys, right? They say um Or they really like that so do more of the tape in the butt thing, but right
Starting point is 00:46:11 But doodzy would also sort of essentially create a segment where that would make sense like here Let me give you a weird little okay, but no, but I'm just saying like it goes like The pod it has also consumed every podcast ever recorded. It's listen every podcast I've ever done it. Well, you know this this this group that is working in AI basically sicked the the AI out on the podcast space and was looking for two people who are friends in real life who have podcast experience Chad has a podcast about the bachelor that he does and he used to do TMP with me from like 2015 on him and Tommy Blotcher and
Starting point is 00:46:52 And he and basically what happens is is it said here are two guys will sasso hasn't done podcasts in like three or four years This is a good group to do it because they're sort of fresh to this kind of concept and It will essentially it you know, it essentially tailors each Each segment and tailors the show So for our audience and and for us and find strengths like it'll say hey Because it's listen every podcast news podcast or a popular thing blah blah blah will sasso You won't stop doing your stupid Hulk Hogan impersonation. So it's like do this is infomania
Starting point is 00:47:35 So it's like I don't know. It's like Hulk Hogan delivering the news. So but then it AI generates a comedic script Based on other bits that I've done things with Chad the way that like some of Chad's writings Some of my Hulk Hogan stuff the actual news. It's bizarre. Have you ever heard like AI's like? Do like Nirvana or something or it's like these are Beatles songs that don't exist. Oh, no, they do that now Yeah, they do everything. I want it. I want to listen listen to it. If you put up your headphones on you guys. Oh, oh, okay. Oh Oh, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, you know what if you don't mind if you hit that
Starting point is 00:48:55 Talking about yeah, I do see popped up on the Wow, that's weird It's at work. Well, it's sitting here in my phone. I guess but if you hit Or listening through my phone if you play the first few seconds of that you'll you'll you'll see the song I'm talking about in the intro After you take this survey I wrote a song about the stupid AI the right song You gotta pick the right song to cry through. Yeah Don't cry just any song
Starting point is 00:49:28 Macho Oh, here we go. I fucking hold right Look how happy we are to be digging it. You look happier than me Pretty big smile on your face Jump in the hole and stay in the hole Wow Hey, all right, you know, well, I'm talking over that but may I say something real quick? Um, you know Will and his buddy just started this new dootsie podcast they get CGI intros and stuff. What do we got bud?
Starting point is 00:50:08 We don't have see no, no, but we don't got CGI. We got nothing. We don't have no AI We got nothing here, baby. Well time for you guys to start riding on the quest of that future way Yeah, how do we get into this this arena? Yeah, yeah, I want to get in the AI arena, dude. You want to know something. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, dude. He's listening right now and dude See here's you Wow Knows what you want. Yeah, we even say it but that Nirvana song terrible
Starting point is 00:50:37 What are you talking about even the even the fucking terrible? What do you tell you wouldn't have that that could have been one little Beatles Oh, yeah, I want to hear the beetle and now this because I'm a Beatles fan me too This will convince me, but I doubt it Okay, stop. Yeah, it's the worst Beatles song I've ever heard of my life. It's a it's a Ringo song It's a yeah, it's a Ringo. Definitely. Yeah, it's a submarine. It's a octopuses garden. It's not as good as the Nirvana in my Yeah, but the Nirvana has literally Cobain's guitar sound The but it but it sounds like Kurt went hey guys
Starting point is 00:51:28 Let's work on a song and they just kind of jammed. Yeah, but it's not a finished product Like let's put this on the album Well, you know that no, but that you know that the way that and they would ever either this is if you're a Nirvana fan You know that he would a lot of times just come up with melodies and a lot of songwriters do this and go And then fucking words later, right, you know, right, okay I don't know It's it's really it's you know what? I think I think I'm freaking out right now. How would you feel? I'm scared like a couple years from now. You see a guy on the screen
Starting point is 00:52:05 In a comedic role that looks like you sounds like you But somehow you're not getting residuals for that. Oh, so they AI'd Bobby Lee Yeah, let's say Bobby Lee quit. Well, if I was we want Bobby in like and just like that season six I think that you I'm sorry to cut you off. How would you feel if that happened? But I But you can cut me off. Okay. I often do I mean, okay, let's suppose I'm in a movie theater Yeah, and I don't know I'm in the movie or you know, I mean and I'm watching I think it would be distracting because I'd be jerking off Yeah, yeah, no, but I think that it would I would probably Walk back in the lobby and call my agent and go what the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:52:47 Well, I think that there's gonna be and this is what I was gonna say in response to that that Our likenesses and the things that we do as performers. I think we're in the sweet spot just being alive in 2022 because they will have to license that shit like, you know Bruce Willis is in a commercial right now say what you will in Russia about I don't know what the product is But it's completely deep fake AI Bruce Willis and they're doing a lot of this shit now where there is gonna be I don't know It's Bruce getting money from that. Yes. I'll go good. I'll go guys get it. It's licensed Right his thing the James Dean movie of course the estate of James Dean. How are they doing a James Dean movie?
Starting point is 00:53:27 You know what? I don't know, but he's like it's like Star Wars It's like the princess lay at the end of whatever was that Rogue one or something. Anyway, I don't know. No, it was I don't care. She wasn't in Rogue one. All right. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, so This is a AI people have been posting this online like AI Converts like cartoon characters into real people. Oh, yeah That's all AI generated that most is lack from that's insane. That's not a real person. That's not a real person That's insane. Give me more. Give me more Eric Okay, well, that's that's a good one. That's so fucking good, dude. Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:04 Well, everyone check it out dudes II dudes and also check out that what's a movie that we're in together? I forget what it's called You know what it's about? We're doing a movie called the throwback That's what it's called. It's called the throw. It's called. It's called the throwback That is so cool that you're doing it. I don't listen I only just like I knew about this movie for a bit, but it's not of my doing and So I'm happy to be on the team and it's great and Justina Machado is is in it Wow, she's a fantastic actor and we've worked together before so I'm stoked about that and then you're coming out That's gonna be so much fun. Yeah, I mean, I only did it because of you
Starting point is 00:54:44 Well, now I'm only doing it because of you because what is that? Oh, look at it. Is that Jessica Simpson? Yeah, you also crazy that Jessica Simpson. That's so cute. Yeah, that was the first sketch. I ever did Are you serious that you guys first sketch together? Yeah, that was the first sketch. I ever did But you're frosted tip, you know, and I it was my I was so scared. I Remember that I only do that character one time. It was a guy named Donnie yeah, that's not a character dude. That's just you You got Jessica Simpson and then over there pretending to be Fred Durst But can I tell you what happened there Donnie is just so there's a scene in that thing where and they didn't they cut it out
Starting point is 00:55:21 but there's a scene where we're all dancing at the end, right and I hit I was wailing my hands and I hit Jessica Simpson in the mouth. Oh When she opened her mouth her teeth were red from blood dude and I remember Dick Blasucci going Keep going. Yeah, and I was like I Fired, you know me in my head, but I remember that dude. I wrote who'd you play Fred Durst there, right? Yeah, yeah Yeah, look how skinny I was. I mean you're back there again and young dude. We were killing it back We were killing it before I had my tattoos removed. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's funny about those times great cast
Starting point is 00:56:04 Look at that. Oh, that's not a cast. That's when we came back to do. Oh, that's one of the last shows Oh, that's right. Yeah, I myself and Moe. Yeah, Moe Alex came and again there was Deborah was Deborah No, Deborah came back came back. Yeah. Yeah, but you know when When I was on that show, I Remember thinking I can't wait. What's next or? You know, I can't wait to get out of the show to do something else. Yeah, and it's like I wish I Wish I was more
Starting point is 00:56:38 T-shirt of well, I was there. Yeah, really? Yeah, because it felt like because I've never been in a play really and I've never I don't know what it's like to run around, you know, like life nights You know what life night when you're in like a bunch of shit the best you're just you know You're done with the sketching. You're just pulling off wigs and Changing into the thing and like looking at your script and just the excitement of the night crazy crazy nights Sometimes you would do pre-shoots at six in the morning and then you have to do something at night And we was just like a crazy time, but I I just thought that that was going to be like forever Me too, right? And it's not it's nothing like it. No, I
Starting point is 00:57:21 People asked like was it fun? Fuck. Yeah, it was fun. So of course there were all sorts of I mean you throw all these comedic People together and really with mad TV. It's been said that the the inmates were running the asylum Yeah, between those writers and those performers and writer performers and everyone just coming up with shit It was like it was so Yeah, you think it's just gonna last because you are in this crazy fast-moving Machine such turnaround and it's like as soon as the show's over you get a pack of here's what's in the you know We've done the table read earlier in the week and they've worked out what's good What's gonna actually be in the show and it's like oh shit, okay?
Starting point is 00:58:02 This is what's in the pack. This is what we're shooting next week Yeah, that we're gonna go and do a table read and then we're gonna move into rehearsals and do it And it's like you barely have the weekend to to You know to come off of that the last show and get ready for the next one, but you liked it that way It was like yeah, it was weird, but I feel like everybody thought that Okay, this is like this, you know Saturday Night Live light or whatever you want to say, but we'll and definitely people of course everyone that's moved on To do other things. We're all fortunate to keep going, but it it was this weird thing of like
Starting point is 00:58:41 Hey, we're gonna move on in a very specific way, right? Like what does mad TV mean when Saturday night live Saturday night live means this and then living color means that or What whatever what all the sketch shows down the line? What does mad TV mean? But no, we never did one living color never did either, but like a mad TV movie Yeah, or any of that shit. It was like once that show spat you out. It was like you're done Yeah, and also you could tell that that There was no promotions like I never like saw billboard enough that's on it never there was no promotional commercials Really dude my first season season three. Yeah, they spent the entire flinking publicity budget. Yeah on a bus
Starting point is 00:59:23 that That had our that was like had us on it the cast like all over this big dumb bus You know like a huge cruise bus and it was going around town or sorry going around town It's going around the country and it was like the mad TV bus and blah blah blah and come out and there's gonna be this And that and that and this but they blew all the fucking money They didn't have any money in the budget for publicity to fly us out or even have us live in the goddamn thing and get it So all there was with it was this fucking bus driving around
Starting point is 00:59:59 Our pictures. Oh, yo, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's the bus. That's the mad TV was a bus Wow, that's our promotion. That was our entire budget. Yeah, and to see it now It's only in Huntington Beach, too. Right. Yeah. Yeah It was just this bus and it and on the show They would run a commercial like the mad TV bus was blah blah blah and they shot this little promo Yeah, meet the cast of mad TV. We don't have any money to yeah So yeah, we're doing the show and that was it not a fucking commercial You would never see a mad TV commercial on Fox. Yeah, unless it was within the mad TV our block
Starting point is 01:00:38 It was coming up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah coming up after after the local news I was it was after after local news you would see a commercial for mad TV. Yeah Two minutes before I know it was which is something that happened with other TV show back in the day I go what do we do we not know that we're about to watch the show that we're literally in the hour block Yeah, you did feel like they didn't give a shit It was also weird because when I went on I don't want to name names, but when I came on the show the year I what came on there was a
Starting point is 01:01:12 lawsuit between an actor and the show right and then a lawsuit between two other actors as well Right, so it's like two actors. I don't think there was I don't think it escalated to actual lawsuit No, but there was threats or it was a weird one thing about t-shirts because we didn't have in yeah Well, it was t-shirt, but there was also one about racism, right? Yes, there were received racism There was a lot going on. Yeah, and when I came on and I remember one of the actors coming up to me and going Why'd you sign up for this is a nightmare? Jesus. I was just like this is my first week Yeah, it was like what yeah, but also it's like look in a show like that or that I mean there's books written about Saturday Live. Yeah competitive. It was I do believe that is more competitive and even more dysfunctional just from what I've heard
Starting point is 01:02:02 Oh, yeah, no, no, I know a guy I had lunch dinner with a guy two weeks ago. That's on the show Yeah, and he was just like just his hand his head was on his head the whole dinner Going I don't know what I do man. Yeah, I'm so miserable. Well to get your shit on yeah Like I remember there was someone writing on the show who's good friends with one of the cast members back in the 2000s and said that she She was like all excited. Oh my friend so-and-so is on Saturday live. Oh cool. And then she didn't for like seven or eight weeks She didn't get anything in the show got close dress rehearsal. She's in the show my god And then last minute Lauren's like no, I don't think so and then so it's out
Starting point is 01:02:43 So she couldn't technically be in the credits yet or something. Oh, wow So it's like she's you know, you're you're not just fighting for your job Every week you're neat. You're not even on the show that you're being paid to be on yeah Yeah, on Saturday lot. It's insane And if you're a performer and you don't hunt down writers or bring your own shit and go Again, this is just from what I've heard from other writers and performers That that you're fucked. You're not you're not getting on the show. Whereas mad TV Was run a little more like a TV show we there was sort of a thing of like well
Starting point is 01:03:21 You know will's light in this episode throw him in this sketch or like Bobby's light and he's new So let's tell him that this is a character. We'll call him Donnie and let him Yeah, no, I know there was a couple of episodes. We're like this week. You're gonna be Japanese business man number two, right? Yeah, literally literally number two. I'm like who's number one They cast that out yeah Yeah, who's number one Pat Kilbane. He can do anything. Yeah, but one time Helly endos, but you could but there it wasn't like like, you know, I put a dick was sushi's office I heard about this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and and I did it because he didn't put me in the Jackie Chan sketch
Starting point is 01:04:05 I've talked about this before like it. How was there a Jackie Chan sketch at mad TV and you're not in it He was actually sketch with Jackie. Yeah, he was actually there. Yeah, that's kind of weird. You want to you want to I Mean shit. They had that super Asian episode of Saturday Night Live recently where they had I get I can't remember who was hosting See Mulu the song Chi. Yes, right and then so him and like bow and yang and it was like And I have a buddy who's working on the show right now as a director Mike Diva Who's Asian and and so it's like, you know, so they you know on social media They're like a like with writers and things. I think it's good Oh, whatever. We didn't know what the fuck we were doing 25
Starting point is 01:04:47 Yeah, Jackie Chan's on the show. Yeah, Bobby Lee in it. Yeah, put Bobby Lee in the fucking sketch, but they didn't so I put in his office. Anyway That's what you got, but I apologize dick. I love that guy. Um, so we're gonna do it on helpful advice Go ahead on hopeful advice with Bobby Kalilah and will sasso Long story short, I grew up and still live in a small town Which is made even smaller because I'm English and I live in Quebec. So there are less of us I'm currently taking my ex-boy my my I'm currently taking my ex-boyfriend to court for beating me up on multiple occasions The entire English community that surrounds me has taken sides and have taken his side He's an extrovert a popular likable guy in public for context
Starting point is 01:05:26 I have so much proof a judge decided to allow a trial which takes place this year on July 29th People have seen the proof themselves and still take his side just for popularities I guess my question is how do you deal with something like this to be more specific? How do you become okay with with the fact that people choose what is popular over what's right despite having overwhelming proof? Thanks, Leah Can I can I just know this is not my thing? But does this person know that they were contacting a podcast and not an attorney? We get some wild stuff. Wow. Yeah. So the further so and I just want to say out loud But I just would like to preface whatever you're about to say and whatever I may be moving on to saying
Starting point is 01:06:05 Yeah, help this this person who's in a horrible situation. None of this will help Unhelpful advice. Yeah What this is I'm I don't really have a funny point of view. This is the honest the honest The honest the honest thing is don't you want to really help this fuck? I am trying to help this person So wait a minute you do unhelpful advice does this person so this person is joking on their own shit? No No, they really want us to see what our point of view we say unhelpful to protect ourselves to protect ourselves, right? So your pricks are going like hey, no, this is terrible. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, here's a bit No, but this is real though. I don't think dudes. He would allow you to do this if dude
Starting point is 01:06:45 Like did you be like this is nothing but a liability and it's a waste of your comedic talent You can't control how people feel and think right people will just have their opinions So you can't you can't stress out about things you can't control, right? So that's one thing. But the second thing is is that he is going to court, right? That in itself, right is stressing him the fuck out That just alone he might not get you know, I mean convicted. You know, I mean, I don't know what's gonna be the outcome But this is not this is not a happy part of his life I don't unless he's a narcissist and he enjoys the
Starting point is 01:07:25 Yeah, but if he's a normal or relatively normal guy who has like a rage streak or whatever It's not a good time for him. He's stressed out. He thinks about it every day What's gonna happen this and that and it's probably affecting him in a negative way, you know But the outcome of the trial and how people feel you have no control over that and I Just in my own personal life. I'm I'm going through a lot of different things and I can't You know on Twitter people's opinion. I I can't fight them. I that's just how they feel and they don't have I Don't know why they say what they say, but it's like
Starting point is 01:08:06 That's it Well, what will well, that's the currency. That's the currency of the internet is that people just kind of float out It's not even it might not even be their opinion. I know, you know what I mean? That's the thing It's just there to I mean trolling is trolling. Yeah, and they just want to get a rise out of you So it's like here's the most abrasive thing I can say and the shorter it is the better Like, you know, whatever any response on twi- I mean Twitter is Twitter used to be just dick jokes and she was fun Yeah, it was fun and now it's like super whatever it is what it is now. I still I still cruise Twitter I don't use it too often, but yeah, don't pay it any attention to it. Yeah, but the other thing is I'm sorry
Starting point is 01:08:49 I'll see like people with a profile. It's one thing if you say something that's super shitty or meant to hurt someone or is like An absolutely awful take but I see people who are definitely very visible going. Yeah, yeah, fuck you Which I think is horrible for the societal discourse, but it's also Totally fine because yeah, you know what fuck you doesn't even mean much anymore And if we're gonna be able to survive the way that the access that we're all You know subjected to now and and that we all are sort of We're all in it whether or not we like it We all everyone gets a say and people under 30 don't get the way that you and I
Starting point is 01:09:31 Used to do comedy or be on TV or whatever and not have people coming at us just literally to be shitty I think that you do have to raise the stakes to some level of oh, you know what fuck you I'm shutting your fucking noise off because it doesn't fucking matter sounds like this girl though is I don't know the particulars of whatever. Hopefully she gets she gets her justice, but But the thing is So who cares if he's fucking popular and like who cares? Yeah, like that doesn't have anything to do with the bottom line Yeah, in the meantime stay at home shit in a cup. Don't go outside, right? Order your food in hopefully you get a what is it called a three-for-one? Yeah, someone comes over find a new relationship
Starting point is 01:10:14 Somebody who doesn't mind that you're shitting in a cup and you have dead cats over a mountain of fucking newspapers Yeah, and you pull your ass cheek outside ways to fart silently Move on with your life and don't worry about how fucking popular this fucking goof is yeah, you know what I mean He'll get it does like a bad guy man. Sure. They get laying your his hands on you. It's fucking fucked up Yeah, yeah, we'll see. Well, I mean, but it's go it's in trial. It's going to trial go to trial All right, so fucking a yeah, that's the thing nowadays man. I mean we gotta fucking rely on you Canadians have weird fucking laws Oh, yes, we have extremely weird laws. We have the we have the house trade You know what the house trade is every year you have to trade your house with a neighbor
Starting point is 01:10:57 Never allowed to keep your house for a year never heard of that one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you trade your house of equal value Yeah, but just so that we can see how other people live. We're very much Very woke and we trade our houses with there's no such thing as land No land ownership I mean you're complaining about the indoor plumbing this ladies plumbing stopped and started our plumbing has run Totally it's all electric plumbing But our poo is very small and it fits in Yeah, because of the way we eat we clean nothing but salmon and peaches. I love Canadians, man
Starting point is 01:11:36 We're we're pretty fucking good. Are we we're pretty we're pretty advanced Society Now we got some we got some fucking problems in Canada to damn it shit fuck Fuck ass shit fart. So Dude Z where like what can they find we see dude Z dude Z you can get on YouTube You can get it wherever you get podcasts at the podcast Spotify all that stuff are we're on the Instagram is is is pretty busy At dude Z pod show it's dude with s y at the end du d e s y dude Z pod show Twitter Instagram I guess we'll do the fuck check out the movie throwback the throwback throwback. Oh, here's some Instagram happenings
Starting point is 01:12:19 Oh, it made me read some news about heads in a box. Someone had human heads in a box in Denver right now It's 36 degrees in Denver, brother. Yeah You got these human heads in a box in Denver brother and nobody knows where they came from See, it's just met him a few times. Yeah, is he nice. He's a very nice guy Yeah, you do the Hulk impression in front of them. I have I Oh, I did I didn't I do that ones. No, I don't know but you know where he is, dude Well, he's in Clearwater Beach, which is it's right next to Tampa if it's not part of Tampa Hogan's hangout I'm going there every fucking day. Okay, but can we go when I'm doing the movie? Yeah
Starting point is 01:13:05 Can you take me there? Here's what has to happen. Yes. First of all, yes. Yes. I Hulk Hogan The character of Hulk Hogan, I always have to remind myself There's a man there also and there's there's been a lot of controversial things That have come in and out of Hulk Hogan's life over the past few years. That's that notwithstanding He was Superman to me when I was a kid. There's no there was nobody higher than Hulk. Yeah, so I also loved You know, I love the fucking a team. I love BA Barakas, you know Yeah, when he started hanging out with Hulk, it was like this to me was like what heaven better than like fuck
Starting point is 01:13:45 Batman Superman all the 80s like yeah Who else was the big guy? David Hasselhoff none of these people mattered as much to me as Hulk Hogan And now that you know, I like to goof on them and do stuff. Although it's very I don't get into, you know, me I like light Victimless comedy Bobby especially on mad TV as I'm impersonating Fred Durst. I'm sure that was very kind But I've talked to him. He you know, he knows that I do an impersonation of him And and I am gonna I'm gonna have to reach out and be like because I met him a few times So I've been fortunate out when I'm there. Yeah, absolutely. I went up go to Hogan's hangout
Starting point is 01:14:28 Yeah, no, absolutely, but I said a stroke when I said that, you know, I don't want to hang out. I I I'm gonna have to reach out. You have to reach out and be like Hey, Terry. Oh, that's me on That's that's we were promoting the movie the three Stooges and we went to WWE Raw we're looking at a picture of me as It was curly doing a Hulk Hogan person. Oh, that's insane. Oh, it went great by the way. Yeah, because As a lifelong wrestling fan, you know, I believe that pro wrestling is a very unique art form It's a I think you took me to one. Oh, you did. Yeah, you did take me to somebody like shared that online recently
Starting point is 01:15:15 Yeah on social media. Wait, wait, that's online. Yeah, there's a picture. There's video of me Like, oh, and we're there with Shawnee with Sean. Oh, I tried to try to find it I also brought Sean the guy you were talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah 3000 Andre Andre 2000 because it was before three and and I was giving you chops. I was chopping you. Oh, that's right. Yeah Yeah, and we were ringside it. Yeah I've been fortunate enough to do a lot of stuff with those weirdos and hang out and get to go to shows and Meet Hulk a bunch of times. It's always weird for me
Starting point is 01:15:48 He's not, you know wrestling anymore now, you know, Hulk is 92 years old. She's doesn't he look great? No, he's 92 In his 60s, he's in the 60s. Yeah, he has to be. Yeah, but he's still 60 Uh, 60 fucking believe that. Well, you know, I have COVID like brain fog. So I was like, maybe I just older than Joe Biden He's Anyway, he's standing up straight. Let's give it will sasso And we you know, you got a visit more often. I would love to I fucking hey, let me say something to your to your audience directly Bobby right here is saying hey, you go to go Just tell them online or fucking tell dudes and dudes you'll get it done and Bobby won't know anything about it
Starting point is 01:16:41 Say have will back. I'll come back on. You know what? I'll do some dudes a humor. Oh, I'll be You tell me what to say. Yeah, I'll do a Hulk Hogan thing. Yeah, we'll have a great time I'll get a fucking stack of solo cups and I'll eat nothing but figs and olive oil So that when I get here, I can shit all over you. Hey Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger barely ad free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey. I

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.