TigerBelly - Ep 355: Bobby & Khalyla Break Up
Episode Date: July 6, 2022See you guys next week! Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. ...
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Hey
So what's the backstory on these glasses?
Uh, I don't know. I just you gave them to me and I go I want to wear them
They're all over tree glasses. They're all over tree glasses. You know, I think he's on to something
Honestly, they look so cute on you. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they look so good. You really could be cast in the Matrix
Hello, I'm off. Yes
No, well, is he British in that? Oh, no, I don't think so. No, they change it
At all. Oh, no, I'll do a Chinese English accent
Hello, where am I Morpheus? Hello, you're in the hello. You're in the Matrix. What?
Why are you speaking like that? I am English Chinese. Oh English Chinese. Hello, mate
Australia, hello
No, I ain't no matrix
What would you like to see the coins the what?
Oh my god, this is crazy. Hello. Why did you say hello? I've already met you. Uh-huh. You can't
Oh, you're English English English. We're like, oh, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine
I feel like Australians say cunt more than any other
Country in the world. Oh, you're in the Matrix
Wait, I have a question. Are you not dizzy with those glasses on? Yeah, but I am dizzy, but um
It just it makes me feel
Empowered didn't didn't keep them. I think I'm gonna wear them from now on. Who do I look like though?
Do I look good though? I you'd really do look like a shape perform with this on tonight. Oh
You should not I feel like you're gonna fall off stage. You're gonna get so no, I want to do the show you
I don't look at me now. You look very smart. I feel like you have things to say. Oh
That's great. I wish I was wearing this yesterday because
Yesterday a nightmare happened. So I'll tell you now was it yesterday or the day before it was a day before
It was the day before so the day before yesterday a nightmare happened. I don't know why you're laughing
Wait, I was there for the nightmare. It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare a fucking nightmare
So I went to we were invited. I can't say who but we I don't know how but we were invited to a
gigantic stars
I mean, you don't know you I know you did it, but don't brag
Don't say you don't know how I was trying to say she made a connection to yeah
Yeah, so she knows this big person and we were invited this person's
Fourth of July party. Yeah, let's just say that it wasn't Bert Kreischer and I'm gonna get back and I'm gonna get into that
I'll put a note for that first of all Bert Kreischer did not invite me to his party
He came onto this fucking podcast said he would invite me to barbecues. He didn't invite me. I'm gonna get that
I'm gonna we'll call approach that in a second. I already talked to him yesterday. Mm-hmm. Okay, so let's just get that
So yesterday, so at the famous person's house nightmare. We signed an NDA
We did
It said not to say you aside an NDA, okay
Well, so on the NDA it says you can't even mention that you signed an NDA. That is true. Actually. Yes, that is true
That doesn't make any sense read it. I didn't read it. All right, so anyway, we'll get restarted. We're keeping though
We're keeping the NDA
Anyway, so at the famous person. I'm gonna keep saying NDA so that you have to
All right, we're keeping it in there. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. Do you mind? Yeah, and the NDA NDA and anyway
So we're at this party and a musician comes up to me unknown musician
But to very talented
What's it why you smiling because it was nightmarish for me too and as she walks out to me I
Could just tell something was awry. Mm-hmm because she goes
She is almost as if she was nervous to talk to me
But she was like and I know this because her friends were telling her you should do this more often
So basically her friends were telling her that you should go up to other musicians, you know
I mean and just express how you feel and trying to make connections
Right because she said mentioned that she so she comes up to me. She goes Steve
And as soon as she said Steve
Right not good and I go it's Bobby then she right then and then she goes Steve again
So I she didn't hear Bobby. Okay. I clearly said Bobby, but now I know okay now the nightmare, right?
It's just you know, my friends telling me that I should just you know
Anyway, you remixed one of our one of our songs and I just want to let you know that it was really dope
I got I'm not Steve Aoki
That's Steve yeah, and she goes um
But you were really pleased what you said. Yeah, you really cuz they could have gone three different ways usually old Bob would have just
Just gone with it old Bob wanted to go just pretend you're Steve Aoki
And keep going and then just end it and just walk away because you don't want to embarrass
I don't want to embarrass her right because she's now deep into racism. Yeah
You're me all right. Yeah, super all right, so I was gonna go just but then I just I'm trying to change
The way I do things I love the way you did it though. So I think this is probably what confused or who is Steve Aoki in this picture? I
Can't tell all right, so there's an obvious
obvious difference difference between me and Steve I have you've grown out your hair and the
Right. Yeah, and I'm also so Steve Aoki went on a donut bench. I
Mean is that what happened in six months? He just you know me went to Dunkin Donuts every meal
I mean come on. The way you said it was so nurturing. So what did I say?
So proud of you cuz at this point like I had a mustache sweat, right?
Or sweat mustache. Yeah, and I was like, oh, no, no, it's happening again
And like I'm just short-circuiting like watching this whole thing go down
I was like what what angle is he gonna take here and what I say at the edge of my seat
And you were like you grabbed her like forearm. You're like, oh my god. I think you think I'm somebody else nice
Like I'm not Steve Aoki like I'm Bobby Lee
But you know like he's you said something funny. Yeah, it was like, you know, I am so much fatter than him or like
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's bad for Steve that you think
Yeah, like you were really trying to like make her feel like okay about it and you can tell she was embarrassed
She was she was really embarrassed and then you kind of left right after and I walked away
And then I let you I let you deal with it. Oh you had to sit in that funk for a bit. I I know
You know what? I'm really good at pivoting. So he knew like that's my strength
So then I was like, oh, I just kept asking her questions about herself to get her out of that mindset. Yeah
Of shame. Yeah
But how did that make you feel I
Don't care and that's not true be honest because as soon as soon as I we got back
We like I gotta get out of here. We got to get out. I know I know because I mean you you have to understand that like it's
You know because when she was walking up to me, she's like, here we go. She's gonna, you know ask for a photo for Bobby Lee
You mean he was one of those like, you know, I mean it was like one time me and Ari Shafir were at an ATM
I've we told you the story before and you know some guy
He had never been recognized in the live and he goes can I have a photo when I basically said okay
But he's like not you Ari, right? And that was like the same kind of feeling of like oh and then but then it's like I
was kind of proud of myself for growing and and just being honest and just going and being I was
Compassionate with her. Mm-hmm. I held her and I held her but I grabbed her arm
I just said yeah, you know, I you know, it's I'm not him
But you know, what is she how does she respond got kind of giggling but like you can tell she was embarrassed and it was
It was not good
But I then I had to go to the car and just
Vent and go, can't you believe that happened? Well, we we had a good laugh about it. We laughed about it. Yeah
But the whole event was nice. I was a nice day, you know, I was more mad about the per Christ your thing
You know, um
First of all, I get tweets
Listen Bert, let me tell you something you fat fuck
You fucking drunken fat fuck. All right, you know, there's something called the internet if you post that you're having a barbecue, right?
And did he post about it? I don't know. I don't know how people found out but people on Twitter knew
Oh, well, that's because he was on our our show and he was like, I'm having a Fourth of July thing
No, because they knew I wasn't there. Oh
Yeah, I don't know how they knew I wasn't there
But they just obvious is you didn't invite Bobby again, huh? Sabotage or whatever the tweets were that got a bunch of them
So essentially I tweeted, you know, I mean, I wasn't invited again this year
But maybe next year or something like that and he immediately calls me twice. You can look I never picked up
Right and then I called them 45 minutes later
He picks up his FaceTime. He's at the barbecue and he's with he goes
But you know and you know what he does which is fun. He goes. Yeah, but you know, he did made a joke
Like I have a one Asian quota and he you know
Put the phone to an Asian girl that was sitting there. She's like drinking wine
She's like, what the fuck, you know, I mean and then that didn't work with me, right?
So then he calls back and you can tell he was just trying to like you want to come over now
I'm not gonna come over now, man
It's too late. You know, I mean, I want the flyer. I want that. You know, I mean a mark this in your calendar, man
Right, right. I don't need like some
He doesn't want me there. You want the formal invitation. He doesn't want me there. You hear that Bert?
But he texted me. I mean he called me and to apologize
Which is fair, but you know, I
It's one of those things where I
I'm gonna get revenge. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I have to get some sort of former revenge
What are you gonna do throw a party? You should throw your own party. I might throw a party invite everyone except him
Even invite Leanne. Invite Leanne. Oh, yeah
Invite his kids. Yeah, does this Bert have enemies?
Pretty likeable guy. Well, I'll find his enemies and invite them to oh, I know one who Jay more
Jay more that's right. I'll invite Jay. Give me and Jair good
So I'll invite Jay more, right and we'll be some of it. No, I actually you know Bert actually can I say something?
I'm not gonna get revenge. I'm a changed man. And what I'm gonna do is this. All right, your
Behavior shows me that you don't really want to be friends with me
Right and that I'm not just I
I like it. Yeah, this is the angle, right? Honestly, that's the honest truth, right? Your behavior is of a man
Who doesn't I don't come in the forefront of your mind when it comes to celebrations
Right and good times. Well, maybe because he doesn't think you'll have a good time because you're sober
Yeah sober people can go to any kind of environment. I can go to a cocaine party and have a time
Yeah, okay, I can and I hate when people do that as an excuse when you're sober like well
There's gonna be drugs and drinking that doesn't matter. I can figure it out
I mean, I like to get invited when we went to fucking Tom Segura's Christina Christina P's party
Kassim G was there and he's like he left early because he goes. Yeah, I'm sober. So it's a little weird
Right, but you could still I'm sober too. You could still stop by and play your pay your condolences
Is that the right condolences is for death?
Yeah, that's what I do. Got it. Well, I got it, baby, right little wiggle in the dance floor though
I did a little wiggle in the dance floor. I say my highs but my point is is that so I don't go
I'm not in the forefront of birdcrusher's mind
Right. I'm not in this top hundred
Right. I
Maybe he does he disrespects me
Maybe he doesn't think that I'm good as a comic or a podcast. I don't know what it might be
But my point is is that there is something there deep-seated
Go ahead. I know who cares about you
Do a lot a lot who the opposite of Bert who may be a little too much who Ethan Klein?
Yeah
He went he okay. No
Okay, I love you say yes to something. Okay, you realize what's happening. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck
Why did you bring that up? Fuck Ethan Klein? I just saw the band on your neck, right? So fuck Ethan Klein
No, he was trying to save your life. No, he wasn't. It was a trickery. It was tricky beyond trickery. All right
And he's done a lot of fucking bad things, right?
Interesting and this last thing is unforgivable. All right. What is it? All right. So check this out. I mean I have my phone. Anyway, um
So, you know Oliver, what's a freak?
Trees trees the tree all of trees, right?
Deep boxed. I went to go see it. Yeah
Yeah, I did some video some podcasting or whatever while I was at the um e3
H3 whatever e3 live is the thing you I love it. It's drink anyone likes blue algae
You know what I mean frozen blue algae e3 live is the best
Okay
Look it up e3 live. It's pretty delicious. I like it. It's very delicious. It's like wheat grass, but taste no way way better
Yeah, yeah, it's like the ocean it tastes like the ocean
All right. So anyway e3 live h3 podcast is a fat Jewish fuck named Ethan Klein
Why you have to cut that out too? He's losing weight. No, he doesn't fired by you. That's what hila said
No, he's got fucking evil titty milk milk evil. Yeah, it's evil titty milk and said those
tits
Anyway, I was at the h3 podcast
And he looks at the mole on my neck
And he goes man
That doesn't look good
Like a what?
He goes that mole dude. It's cancerous. Geez and I go
Really?
Because I you know, I live with a nurse, you know, I mean a trained nurse
Kalilah
Well, I had looked at the mole before because it it is a big mole, but I had done my abcdes
Which is you know the criteria for whether or not I think like a mole is like abnormal and to me it looked normal
But then I was afraid to be wrong because I'm not a doctor
Okay, it anyway. I come home
from that
Um experience and I let it go
He proceeds to text me
Here's a he goes dude. I have a friend who's a doctor
And look at what he texted me so he screenshotted text from a doctor and his doctor for I don't know who it is
He goes his medical friend goes dude. Bobby's neck mole is cancer
Right and then he keeps calling me dude. You got to get you're gonna die dude
You're gonna get so I freak out and I'm like, oh my god. I've been wrong all these years
So then I make the appointment for him to see my dermatologist
I go all the way
It took me three hours to get there because I could go from and see none of that right
All right, it takes me three hours to get there right and I waited right
And I go into the office, you know, you know driving from this area
Anyone that doesn't know
LA, you know what I mean to Beverly Hill on a
Trafficky day in a hot summer day is a nightmare. Yeah, all right
So it to park
And do the whole fucking thing, right? So I go I wait in the lobby, you know, I mean
I sit I go into the doctor's office. I love him by the way your doctor
And I sit there and he goes, what do you what do you do here for I go? I have cancer on my neck
I've been waiting, you know, I mean it looks and he goes now that's not can't that's a mole
I go, you know, because my ethane client and a doctor and this you know, you're ethane client
Yeah, yeah, I I explain to you guys he there make joking. Oh, no
I go, you know what dude remove it. Anyway, send it to the labs and I'll get my revenge to that fucking Jew fuck
Did it hurt?
Yeah, because it was a big mole. It hurt. I still have the band-aid on my neck. Yeah, I haven't taken off
It has to take it off like yeah, I used to take it off five days ago. Is it infected? Well, let me check
Yeah, look at let's take it out now live. Yeah, the live right. Yeah, I haven't taken off in a week
Oh
Really stuck on oh
Rip it rip it. Oh
What's fine
It looks good. Why'd you make that face?
What's that face about? That's my head to toe assessment face
Yeah, you're like when you look at it as a doctor or nerdy
That's not the face. That's scary. That's why I never work. What does it look like though?
Um, it looks very flat and like um kind of like hyper pigmented a little bit, but it's fine
Yeah, but it's is it infected no and is it gone. It's gone. Yeah, but you know what?
He told me that is it'll it might come back
Oh, really? Moals always come back for some reason, but he was certain. He was like my what did he say 99%?
He's a 99.99.99 99.99 99. Well, it's good to get it biopsy. No, it's not it's revenge
So what are you planning? How do you plan on on so Ethan made all that up?
It wasn't a real doc. No, I think he was genuinely worried. No, no, I think it was a trick
I don't think so. Why would you text listen first of all if I saw a mole on
Anyone's neck and even if my doctor friend said it's cancerous. I'm not gonna do nothing. What? Yeah
That's because of you and your paperwork
Yeah, it's like I don't want that person to go through the paperwork
I don't want that person to go through traffic. You know me because just the odds of it not being it
Yeah, I don't want to be that guy, right? So I obviously texted Ethan Klein and I went what he said fuck you, buddy
You good and then his whole thing was
I have co vid
What pretty nice to me. I have co vid. I go. No, bud. It's war
Okay, it's fucking war dude
Anyway, but I think the birthright sure at the very client at the very least like it was that lady from the fucking party
Yeah, yeah, it was a very huge
Huge unsightly mole. So I mean it might as well like maybe it's a good thing. It's gone. It's but it was like my
Cindy Crawford
My beauty mall. That was the one. Yeah, it's it was a hook
That's like, um, what's his name? Henry gangless. Yes when he took that mole off. Did he have one?
Yeah, he had a very like iconic mole. You have a mole on your face. Yeah here. I have many moles. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, one right here. I have my dad used to call them beauty spots, but I'm like, that's really nice of you
I like them. I have another one. They look like black zits
Well, that's what I used to do when I was
When I was in high school and I was very insecure because I had a lot of acne
Um, I would turn my pimples into moles
So jessica used to teach me how to put eyeliner and then turn all my pimples into moles
So you had 50 moles on your face. Yeah, it was better than oh, there you go. See you got it removed. I think he looks
I think it looks better now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's better
What are your thoughts on moles?
I don't I have never minded them. I've you know, I I've never noticed the moles on your face
Yeah, but what about let's say like moles that if I had a big big mole right here and it had hair coming out of it
Well, then I would address it. Well, how would you say it?
I would probably just like I what I would do is subtle stuff like for your birthday. I'd get your hair is
Like a shaving, you know, you just tweeze the hairs while I was asleep. Yeah, I would do something
But how many hairs does a mole get? I don't know. It depends on the mole like two or three. Yeah. Yeah
Like are you okay with you like Cindy Crawford's? That's a pretty good one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
But yeah, that's a pretty good one
She's never she could get removed
But yeah, why?
So you're saying yeah, but everything around the mole is so beautiful like I
That's what the thing it's like if you're what are the rounded is what if like if Ethan Klein had that mole
It would be a disaster
Right because it's like nothing around the mole is delicious
Right. It's nothing good
Right. I don't even understand why he's married. I don't know why anyone would have sexual intercourse with him
But you know, I mean, so if Ethan had that it would be a disaster
In fact, the mole would want to would probably go can I get the stuff around me removed?
He goes to the mole would go to his own doctor
Get all this removed a human remove. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because it's terrible
One time I have a friend that's too much for you both or is that like if you say one of you guys had this
That's what I had. Yeah. It's like on the neck. Yeah, that's what I had on my neck. Oh, wow. Yeah. Is that cancerous?
Um, it's it's the edges are good. It's round. Yeah, so it's a bcd. Yeah, I don't like that one. Yeah, that one's really
Yeah, that one sucks. Uh, yeah, I'm not really into it looks a little like
like but I had a friend who
um
has a really big mole right here and with with like basically
A lot of hairs on it
And I have a friend who's not so polite and he was drunk and he met her for the first time and he said like the rudest thing
He was like, hey that shit on your face got some shit on its face
I've never laughed fucking harder in my life
It's like like some people are just rude about moles. I think
That shit on your face that shit on your face got some shit on its face
That doesn't make any sense. It does. It does explain it to me
George please explain it to me. So
All right, so the shit on your face, which is the mole
Yeah has some shit on its face, which is the hair
It's basically acknowledging that the mole is its own entity and the mole has shit on its face
I like bobby. I'm not gonna
So what you're saying? No, no, let me
Mole is so extravagant right on the job that it also is a let me ask you something with a little mustache shit
That would make sense if the mole had a mole on its face
Basically if a mole had another mole on it. Yes, that's basically yet. That's basically what he was saying
It's so big the wall on your face got a mole on it, but if that other let's say the secondary mole had another mole
Right, it could go on forever. Yeah, but you know, that's a little that mole on your face has a shit face
That's your face face my face
Eternal joke. It's like one of those mirrors that go on forever. It's Christopher Nolan movie
Yeah, I don't like it
In fact, that joke makes me go crazy
Don't stop thinking about it. Right because it's insane. I'm sorry
Pretty good though
That makes you laugh
Oh my god, see that was an Austin power awesome power. That's the first time I heard about the mole jokes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Is that Fred Savage? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Fred Savage. Yeah
Wow, that's a big. Well, that's a big fucking mole
Um, when but how do you know when it's cancerous?
You go through the abcde of moles. Give me the abc
ABCde do you memorize it? Yeah, okay. Tell me so it's a uh-huh for asymmetry
and b for border
C for color
D for diameter how big it is and e whether or not it has changed like evolved
All right. So can I ask you this? Okay?
You can you have just d and still be cancer? Um, I'm not a doctor. I don't know right for the most part like
I mean, look look at this. Okay. Yeah, this side border is a big thing for me
Change is a big thing. The first one looks like a nipple a
so is that
That's it. Like if I had that the symmetry look how like it's it's the left side's fine. Yeah, the left side says
Oh, that's what it's supposed to look like. This is what is the nine is fine. Yeah. Oh, I don't know that
So a looks good
But then the other one malignant that looks if I had that. Yeah, I would go to the hospital. Which one do you have?
Like a b
Yeah, but see look at this. I had a b. Yeah, but the good b look at the mole on my leg then. Yeah
Yeah, that's perfect. Look at it. Look closer
What's the border like? It's a little uh, it's a little little what? Yeah, Italy. Yeah, exactly
It's like Italy. Yeah. Yeah, but it's still not doesn't look like you know, I mean black ink and it also has not evolved
It has not changed. Okay. So the color
Yeah
Diameter you want it to be one solid color
You don't want it to have like different multiple colors multiple color diameter. What has it grown? Is it big?
That's interesting. Yeah. Anyway
My mold didn't have any of that shit
It did grow a little bit though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it did anyway. Ethan. Listen
Nothing's gonna happen. We're fine
You know
Just relax. Everything's good. Oh my god. The girl with a mole just texted me
Okay, I was talking about earlier. No. Yeah. Oh my god. That's weird cosmic listening
So I also want to recommend to watch the movie the black phone
Yes, we saw that last night. It was very good
And I made a noise. Oh my god
Oh my god. All right. So listen. Okay. I was with gene and me and jules and jules. So
So gene Hong is my friend
We watched we're at universal city walk watch the black phone
and
I made a noise in the theater that made the whole theater laugh
Can you do the impression for me? Yeah
Oh, there was a a buildup, but
Mind you, it was completely silent for an hour and 20 minutes
And I made that noise in the theater. All right, and then gene looks at me and he starts
Tears coming out of his eyes starts cackling for 20 fucking minutes pointing at me
like
Laughing at me. It was a packed audience. Yeah, there's people there. It was it was a jump scare, but
The movie had no jump scares in it through the whole fucking movie. All of a sudden there was one
It's like, yeah, I like, you know what I mean? Oh that didn't bother you. The bike was far. Yeah. Yeah
Like you mind I always turn your mic up really loud just because you don't have it. You're right. You're right. You're right. My bad
all right, so um, I made that noise and um gene made fun of me and then after the movie he made fun of me too
Right, but it was like really
And I'm not good at horror movies and you know what he did
So like gene right before the movie we went to go get yogurt
And bobby he was like, well, they're not gonna let us bring in the yogurt and show times in like two minutes
So bobby went to suck it in so he only got one like half a swirl like a third size
Because he was like, I got to eat it right now, but then gene got like a full thing
Yeah, right and then gene was like calila. Can you put it under your?
No, that's not that's okay. Can I just can we back up for a second? Yeah, may I okay?
So I got I was eating it so
Fervently fast too. What's fervent mean?
I don't it seems religious like you're uh, you're into it and a religious passion intensity. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah
Fervently I was eating it right and I got brain freeze, right?
Okay, because I knew that I couldn't carry it in the fucking theater, right?
So then I couldn't finish it. So I just threw it away. Fuck it. We got to go, right?
So then gene
tells calila
Sneak this in for me
Right, which I thought that's how you do it
So now gene gets to enjoy this fucking delicious yogurt slowly slowly during the movie which made me angry
All right, so I so she snuck it on the thing under my sweater. Yeah, and as we went to the line
I go I was gonna say
She's trying to sneak
You're insane dude. She's trying to sneak in. It's why am I insane to call her out right there? That's not fair
There's rules. You could have brought it in. No, you shouldn't sneak stuff in the theater. You've never there's rules
You've never brought anything food. No, not if he can't have his yogurt
No one can have yogurt that that again too as well is true
Okay, both are true. Both can be true in this situation, right?
so I go um, excuse me, ma'am and then they looked at me like
If I did that it would ruin the night
Right, so I just
And so they got that in but what where do you think where where do you stand on that george?
Well, I stand if I can't bring anything in nobody gets to thank you because I get very mad when I don't think of it first
Exactly me too, but I would probably uh, let it slide it in my backpack or find a way to get it in
Wait yours
Yeah, but even if you didn't think of it and you threw yours away already
I would in that situation. You're yes, but that's because I hate when other people cheat and I didn't think to cheat first
I I just like that's so bad. That's fair. You know if there's two lines
And then you're waiting in one of the long lines and then another line opens up
And somebody else gets to jump there first. I'm like, no, that should have been me
I'm smarter than every I need to be the one that cheats
That's because I'm okay with cheating
As long as I think of it. I'm 100% in agreement with you for once. How about you Gilbert?
I have a question for you a scenario. I'm a little legalistic with it. Okay. Go ahead
I'm okay. I get annoyed when Cindy does it. She'll bring in like lots of shit
And it's embarrassing for me. Like don't bring fucking Taco Bell and make the noise
But I will eat the taco. So I'm very like don't fucking do that
Like this is a business even though it's amc like family on business
Like don't do that. They're trying to make money selling popcorn. They have employees
If you bring in food, then the boys lose their job, but then I'll still partake in the cheating
Yeah, but when you're charging $19 for popcorn
Yeah, you have another thing coming. Oh, yeah back at the amc in new york
I would always like I would save the popcorn bag and bring it back the next time
So
Is that free refills? Yeah, Lincoln Square
I would uh one I would just buy one ticket. I'd go to three movies because it was so big. It was like 18
theaters
And then two back when I was at film school
Save the popcorn bag it started getting ready after a while
I think they might have suspected like after the fourth time I brought it
Well, what I would do if I were you was like every fourth time buy a new one. That's what I had. Yeah, I mean, yeah
Okay, good. How do you got very clever my very quick. How do you guys feel about
My family used to do this a long time ago because we didn't have a lot of money
How do you feel about going on a movie and then waiting for it to clear and then walking to another movie like a hopper?
Yeah, never done that. No, that's what I said. I would do three three. That's called that's called stealing
Yeah, but when you're a broke kid and you just doesn't matter stealing. So you're thieves
Yeah, I literally would never are you kidding me? Of course. I was I literally would never do that. I stole clothes all that's called thievery
Yeah, I'm a shop. So you don't have conscious
Or ethics. No, not at that age when I'm that broke and I yeah, I would work harder
I worked so hard these hollywood stars need to make a living
It's true. You're right. All right. Wait. I have a so I want to pose a scenario for you. Let's suppose you're in
Nursing school, right? You've decided that comedy is not working out. You want to go back to nursing school and you're taking your first
Okay, that's you're being rude again. No, you would hate that. I know but I could do it. He could do it
You would hate it
I couldn't do it. He couldn't do it
Go back to black phone though, but later. Okay. So basically
Um, you're you're back in nursing school and you're taking your first pharmacology course
It's really hard. The whole class is failing. You're kind of bordering it like a D
You might not make it to the next semester because you're failing pharmacology
And then you realize that on the final final was very very hard
Everyone passed but you found out that everyone cheated
But no one um gave you the cheat notes. Would you rat them out? Yes
100%
They get to move forward and you don't yes based on the yogurt situation. Yeah, yeah, exactly same logic
So you would feel very wrong there
I don't think I would
I'm not a rat
Well, I have ratted people out before I think you're right. Wait, let me have a look at you. Yeah, me too
I'm trying to because these are ideas because people are listening to me right now, right? Let's go with specific comedians are in the class
Okay, I'll tell you
So
Here the people. Oh, you're telling okay. So in the class or other comedians here. This rise raises a stake. That's very interesting
Everyone is transitioning to here. You're taking pharmacology
Class. Yeah with a bunch of your comic friends who just feel like they're giving the names. Give me the name number one's dad fan
In this class. Yeah, you're coming. He's part of the cheating group your colleague. Yeah
Um, number two is um, all right, so give me the name. Okay. We have dad fan. We have tom siguro
We have jazzle neck. We have jesse may paluso kevin shay kevin shay. Okay. That's the five. That's yeah
It's an interesting pairing of and they all cheated
Right and they and I failed. Yeah, they didn't call me
Well, you know, I would be mad at sigura and and jazzle neck for not
Included me into their scheme
Which I I doubt they would do that especially those two
Okay, right, but if they did that they just thought that you already had it too. You already had the no the
No, they they all got it at uh at burt krischer's fourth of july party. Right. That's where they were passing these notes around
Yeah, right and I wasn't invited but dad fan and kevin shay
Provided a bird krischer. Oh, shit. That's a good. That's a big one. First of all, I don't have a problem with dad fan
I love that. I don't know why he's in the scenario. You know, I mean kevin shay could go fuck himself
and keep that in um
So I don't have a problem with dad fan, but so but you know, I'm not close to dad
So, um
Is that the one that like gave everyone the notes and stuff? I think it's burt
Yeah, it was definitely burt. It was definitely burt in this scenario. Um
I think in my head, it would be all kevin shay's fault somehow
I would feel like he had something to do with it. So I would rat them out
That's it in my own crazy mind
Yeah, that he had some yeah that they even believe that kevin shay
Created this fucking
You know, I mean story why I couldn't be included in this this cheat scheme and that um
That I would be mad at just like and tom segura
Being friends with them that they would fall for his fucking, you know, I mean chaotic energy
Right that I would probably rat them all out
Hmm, okay fair enough, but then would you be okay with them knowing that you were the rat? No
I would blame I would blame kevin shay
for ratting that his himself out
Yes, yeah, yeah
Yeah, something like that. I would deny it me
Who me I didn't do nothing
Yeah, I would probably be that your style. That's my style
Yeah, just a terrible human being
No, I just you know, I'm not a terrible human being. I want I want to um, I just want to be included. That's true
That's a what is that wrong to be wanting wanting to be included in things and schemes
I'll tell you this much like the yogurt scheme at the movie theater. Why can't I have been included in all that?
I have a question
Why didn't you come up with it because it's what's interesting is as I threw it away then you came up with it
That's not true. Yes, that is true
What I'm saying to what what and what my belief is my theory is you knew about it before your scheme
No, you only served yourself because it's self-serve yogurt
He only served himself like half a turd size
So I thought that's all he wanted when I didn't know that you only served yourself half a turd size because you were
Anticipating not being able to finish the whole thing by the time we got to the theater
So I just thought you that's all you wanted, but then gene had just a mound of yogurt
I was like you can't throw this away. That's a waste of food. Yeah
If I had to do it over again, I would have got a mound as well and snuck it in
Yeah, and I would have snuck it in for you. That's what that was the plan
but can I say this
The little turd size yogurt that I got
I didn't have to pay for it. Why?
Because the guy recognized me. Oh, well
He wins yet again. So who wins? Damn
Papa does. Yeah, I know if I had to spend money on that turd size
Different story. It would have been different story
You know, but black phone check it out. It's a great movie
Really good. Really good guys. Yeah, like well done. And here's why I like it. I'm not going to get into it the movie
But it's in in a world of marvel madness in the world of this high tech
You know special effects induced these fucking nightmares that they're making right? It's good to see a movie
that's
three to five million dollars
No special effects
um, great acting
Great story suspenseful and I just think that um, you still can do it
With no money, you know, I know five millions a lot, but I'm just saying to make a movie
Yeah, but like relatively speaking compared to like the blockbuster movies that are being made hundreds of millions of dollars
it's ridiculous and um
and I I think ethan hawk
is having
A resurgence man because he was in the northman, right?
He's in this. He's also in a marvel show. Yeah, he's killing it that guy
Congratulations to you. I've always been a fan. Let's get him on here
And also can I just say one the last thing about the black uh black phone?
I don't know her name, but the one that plays the little sister in the in in in that movie. She's a star
Even gene said it in the movie. He just whispers it that girl's a star and I go
It's so funny when you can see it
You can see it
What nothing I just I had I had a memory of what happened in the parking lot
Um, okay, you're gonna bring that up again. No, we don't have so many events happened
All right, I'll bring it up. All right, and let's see if you guys are on my side
I just want to say something previous to this happening. We were having like a very like
We were having a very positive like zippity-doodle day
Like it was a full zippity-doodle day. We were like really just like happy. We're going to the movies. It's 4th of july, right?
And then um, we enter the universal city. Can you please see if you side with me and be open your minds?
All right, and be fair honest. Okay. George. Are you paying attention? Yep. All right
So we're I don't know if you've ever been to the universal city walk anyone listening
So the universal city walk is attached to universal
Theme park theme park
It's uh, and it's literally five minutes from our house. We can say that right?
That's that's that's not gonna it's close by. Yeah. Anyway, it's very close by to our house
It's an LA
Okay, California, it's in California. Okay
so um
But it's a nightmare because it's like you go up and it's it's like entering disneyland almost in a weird way
There's these gigantic awnings of universal and all that kind of stuff, right?
But it's late at night and I guess they had some sort of like, um
4th of july thing
That they were doing fireworks fireworks. Yeah, mostly mexican because they love it. They do can I say that you can I used to live
They love fireworks. Yeah. Hell. Yeah. They love fireworks. Filipinos do too
So that's why I'm that's why I'm bringing this up because I think there's a little racism involved from you. No
Oh from them from he's hear me out. Okay. Okay. Just hear me out. Here's the tie in is okay. All right
so
I'm so now I'm in the parking almost taking a left into the parking structure, right?
But there's a parking lot guy holding me. I'm the only car
All I have to do is take a left get into the structure
Right, but he's letting cars
Exit exit right and he lets about and I'm not exaggerating right
25 cars
Right this way. So I just rolled out the window. I go dude. I'm one guy. Can I just go in he's like they need to get out
Right
And he was Mexican
The people
Get it's a fireworks festival. This is my thinking, right? It's a fireworks festival, right? They may be problemat not problematic
probability
The probability probability not probably it's not a problematic not problem at all. Right. I love it. Yeah. Yeah
The probability. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying, right
Right the probability of them being, you know, Hispanic is probably high. He's Hispanic
And I'm and he's like they need to get out. So he just lets more cars go through
All he has to do is stop one and just let me go through and then you can there's no one else behind me
You could let all of them through right, but he's gonna make me wait there, right?
And so then when I yell out I go, hey, I just one guy, right and he yells at me
Jules and Kleiler are fucking, you know embarrassed that I did that
Then he finally make lets me through they're like blushing and going geez dude
You're out of control
To me like I'm fucking let me like I'm fucking the bad guy here
I'd like I will say I'm on I would like to hear standing up for yourself and making sure the people in your car
Get in as quickly as possible. I understand that george, but number one. We were not running late. We were
We were we were we were literally this movie started at 10 o'clock. Okay. It was 9 50
Admit it
Admit it right now. How long are trailers?
I want to that's I don't want to watch the movie. I'm only there to see the trailer. Wow
I love it. Right. I'm right. Who doesn't love to watch the trailers
But can I say the trailers are the best parts of the movies from where from where I was in the passenger seat
I if it was like an obnoxious amount of time that we waited for all these cars to exit
I'd be like dude. What the fuck right like because I feel like bobby's right in that sense where it's like
We are just one car. Like why are you making us wait five minutes here?
But I'm not exaggerating you guys
30 minutes at 30 seconds 30 minutes hadn't it hadn't even passed
30 seconds had not passed before he rolled his window down and started yelling and saying let me in
And I was like bobby. That's unnecessary. Like he's just doing because I was counting cars
Oh, you weren't counting seconds. I don't count seconds. I count cars. How many cars 25 cars. That's a lot
Yeah, yeah, go ahead follow-up question. Go ahead because he was mexican. Did you think he would recognize you?
With your world down your window
Interesting subconsciously. We don't I don't like that line of questioning, but be honest. I don't I'm going to be honest
I don't like yes
Absolutely, right and then you were throwing off he didn't and you know what he did when he didn't get recognized george
It wasn't like a cute little left turn
He made sure that his tires were squeaking like it was the most obnoxious left turn
He sped up. He put little fucking tracks on the ground. That's ridiculous. I did not do I did not do that
Follow up if he did not do that. That's ridiculous. If he did you rolled your window down. He said yo bobby
Really? I'm so sorry come through man. Then how do you react that everything's good?
And everything's right with the world
Interesting right because what he did was wrong
right
If you let three cars in my my rule is three cars
Okay
Three cars for one car right not 25 cars even three to one. All right. So at that point everything's kumbaya
All right, but what he did was outrageous
Okay, but and what your reaction to it was outrageous. What was my reaction like you guys were like
Jesus fucking guy
Dude, it's like you have you know what you called me
Entitled
No, I said destructive and you have destructive until she started getting psychological with me
That's what you're telling me telling me what's wrong with me the slub king
No, you're there our therapist said that's the guy that created nosotras papaya the guy that created me walking down the street
The guy that fucking did all these things man, right? That's what you called me destructive entitlement guy
And it's that guy's fault. He should have taken a little bit of time out of his schedule for some great
Programming who the guy who was parking the cars
He should have taken a few minutes out of his day to watch tiger belly
That's his fault as well. But that's you know what that's his loss
That's his loss. Okay, but my point is is this now
given the facts
Right my two
hombres
muchacho mo hombres
All right
What is your opinion?
Inocente
Inocente amigo, how about you my friend?
My honest assessment. Yeah, from what the way you described it with 25 cars. Yeah, that's a lot of cars
20 if it if it was if you are not lying if in fact it was going between 25 cars and 30 seconds
Let's do the let's just split those in half. I'll be not lying think about that statement
Okay, so let's go right so 12 and a half cars and one okay, so let's count and double go right and I'm going to do the cars
Let me time it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right. So now the guy says come on and go
16
Is that cars or seconds? Seconds. He's counting cars. What number are we up to? 20
30 seconds. Why did you speed it? I love this speed. That was 30 seconds. Yeah, yeah, that was 25 cars
Yeah, but that's still 30 seconds. That's I know 25 cars versus one car waiting. Are you are you're fucking mind?
Well, my argument go ahead. What now? What is your fucking judgment? I don't know
Inocente, but I will say I don't know if this helped you at all
That didn't help your cause why because it's still if you had just closed your eyes and not counted the cars a 30 second wait
I know but you have to say it's 950 the movie starting at 10 right my friend Jean
I told him I was going to meet him at 945, right? There's I got shit going on, dude
And I don't know also mind you if I didn't roll down the window
I don't know how many cars would have gone. Don't you think all those people right? So that's what I thought. No
I'll even give you 10 cars, right? But I'm not waiting after 10 cars, man. So what inocente or what?
Inocente, yeah, all right. So now apologize. I'm so sorry. All right. I'm truly truly sorry that I like questioned your
Decisions last night. I learned that wow 25 cars 30 seconds is possible. It is
I thought it was gonna be a lot
What am I okay? You know what that you know what that was right? What?
God's striking down. Yeah, you don't believe in God. I don't yeah, you don't so don't bring that up
All right, you can't use God when you don't believe in God
Good rule. Thank you so much. Um, do you want to helpful advice or what? No, I thought we were playing that game
I can't let's put the game introduce it Clara. Oh, wait, we're not doing that instead of unhelpful advice
Let's do that. We'll do it after we'll do that talk about the thing last
Okay, uh, we have unhelpful advice questions, but I think this is really interesting
Clalic, can you tell the audience what this box is I'm holding um
It's so cheesy
But I bought it because I thought it was a way for us to deepen our existing friendships
And it's called we're not really strangers and it's just a box of like questions you ask each other
Yeah, but I don't know them
Like I I know them, but I don't know anything about which is the point of the the game
Yeah, but it's gonna make me look shallow because it's like I don't know anything
No, you're not being
Well, let's find out if you're innocent day with our friendship or not only if you start snoring when you're getting our answers questions about yourself
Okay, because I don't have to tell
Any about George about anything about his life. No, no, no, it's not how it works. Okay. He's super stressed out about
I'm so stressed out about it. He went to India. I know that he's married Polly with kids here. You choose one
I choose one Bobby choose here. I'll give you a little pile you guys can split. What do I do with this?
I do the white cards not the wild cards. What do I do with this wild cards?
Let's make a question and then um
Just ask it. Yeah, ask it either choose one of us to ask it to try the white cards because the other ones are more
Visual and for people listening
How about this here? I'll ask one. Who's it towards who this is to uh, I guess for me
Do I seem like a morning person or night owl? Why?
That's a simple one. I I I find you to be a night owl
And the reason why is is that why I think the reason why is because um
Especially when that one night when I went to the we spa, you mean you were peppy that night
It was late at night, you know, there have been times where I've called you
late at night midnight one in the morning you always pick up
Um, I believe that you're a night owl
Yeah, I would say that's pretty spot on I've been trying to change it
So I've been waking up early, but night owl is my instinct like I'll uh, I'll stay up late
I'd say night owl, but I think it's because like outgoing naturally outgoing people. I just assume they're night owls. I don't know why
I have one for you bobby
Bobby, I have one for you. Okay
What would your younger self not believe about your life today?
You just posted a photo of yourself too
What do you
It has to be one thing just yeah, just one thing you can name a couple
My younger self would not believe any of it
Zero
Yeah, it would it would boggle my young
It would boggle its mind what part like the fact everything what I do for a living
The girlfriend that I have
um
The house the car the friends
The kind of life I live
It would not believe any of that
he
He would think that it was like I like out somebody was lying
Would it bring you comfort if someone had told you no hey like
You are gonna get these things or you just wouldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. Wow
No, I would not believe that
When did you start believing yourself I still don't
You did a little bit. No, I don't I still don't
George I have a question for you
What question are you trying to answer most in your life right now?
What question to ask myself right now because I think I think everything's going okay, but just gone cruise control
but I've haven't uh
Yeah, everything's on cruise control. I need to just figure out what the next concentration is
I don't have a good fun hobby. I don't know
Claude, I want you to ask this. Oh, sorry. No, no
I have a no good answer for that one because it's like I haven't I haven't had a self-reflective time in a long time
I got a question for you. George. Oh, what is a dream you've let go of?
Producing action films when I was at in New York, you know, it was like everybody else in film school wanted to do
Like artsy New York style of movies and I'm Andres and I wanted to come out here and make action films
Is that how you met Andreas in New York? Yeah
Oh the men's school and in school. I didn't know that. Yeah, you went to school together. Yeah, you guys good friends
Yeah, uh, it took about a half a year
because he was like just the smiley Spanish guy
and then I found out like
behind that smile he was sarcastic and uh hated the same people I hated
I want to hear your answer to that same question, Gil
Can you repeat the question? What is a dream you've let go of?
I don't know yet. I'm trying to think
I think maybe the idea that
I don't know when I was younger I used to my mom used to always tell me like man, I always see you on a podium speaking
So I think my mom I'd always told myself I would uh
Be like a serious actor and win an Oscar
And I don't think uh, that's realistic
I wouldn't say that
I would you know
Okay, I wouldn't say that. No, I no, I honestly you have to be realistic with I think
Listen, I think I can win an Oscar. Maybe not for acting from other ways. No, I think you can I think you can
Why not because Emmys are faster
Yeah
Live the opportunities you're given. Yeah, that's what I say
I mean, that's what I do now is live in the moment was present has to have goals, but go ahead
Read that to everyone cloud
Read it to everyone
It's your game
Can I wear my sunglasses? I fucking hate but put the tiny hey bobby put the tiny sunglasses on her
You have to wear these you have to
I'll wear these
Here I'll wear this um
Just fucking ask it. No, I'm trying. Do you believe everyone has a calling? If so, do you think I've found mine?
Can I go first? Yeah for her. Yeah, I think everyone does have a calling. I think everyone does have a purpose. I think people uh
Our call to do things is just about when I feel like you do have a calling
I think you are exploring that right now. I feel like you honestly have not tapped into what you're capable of
Uh, I don't think you believe yourself sometimes. I think that holds you back
Uh, but I do look at the potential of what you're able to do
And I wish sometimes you would just see that because I think you'd get to that uh calling a lot closer and you would feel a
Lot more fulfilled. Thanks guild
Thanks
I fucking hate this game. Okay, anyway, um
Everyone answers this one
What's your father's name and tell me one thing about him? Oh god, you have to do the fucking
The dad thing is hard. Can I do one for everyone for you, especially?
Um, I'll answer that really quick. My dad is Gilbert Galan senior
Uh, he always uh, his dream is to write a book of his tales coming to America called the brown skin man
I love your dad so much
Uh, Tom Kimmel and he tells good dad jokes
He loves wait, he also loves those type of steam engine cars. Yep. Uh, he drove one in the uh, the
baryon county fair over the weekend
My dad, it was Robert Lee
And he was a hard worker
He was yeah
um
My dad was edgar and he conned a nigerian menonite church to fund
um
his families uh
tickets to america
genius
Can you give this to bobby?
Wait, I have one for you guys
bobby
What has been your what has here?
What has been your earliest um recollection of happiness when was the first time you thought to yourself?
I think i'm happy
I know one moment
It's weird. It's it's not weird. It's not funny or interesting. It's just um
So I did this movie years ago in thailand and um michelle. Yeah, wasn't it it's called
I forgot what it's called the cooking one the cooking one. Yeah
So they had this at this hotel and you know when you're
Ninth lead on a movie or tenth lead you have days off
And the hotel that they had was one of those pools on the rooftop
And the water went over the edge of the actual side of the building
Yeah, like a infinity pool infinity pool and you could swim up to the edge
And you're literally above the whole city of thailand
And um Bangkok, I mean and I just remember and there was no one else there
It was during the day and there was no one else there
And I swam up to the edge nothing to do
And I just couldn't believe where I was and what I was doing
And I just remember just going
Wow, I never
imagined
I would be here
like this
At this nice hotel
Looking at the city of Bangkok
You know, I mean all I did was like sign up at an open mic one time, you know, I mean
It was just like one of those moments of like I just I will always remember that
It was it was a beautiful see it just the city was vibrant
And you hear honking and the smells and people, you know, I mean like ants on the ground and you know, the buildings looked
You know, I mean different than LA or whatever, you know, I mean, you know
It had a combination of third world and first world like it was in a first world building
But there were some third world elements to it. It just seemed like so exotic and um
Just never dreamt of anything like that. I would never thought I would because I'm not a guy that would like
Book a co vacation. I just never have done that. You know, I mean, I wouldn't even even dream of
Boking myself at a hotel like that, you know, I mean, but I just happened to be there
And it was just one of those surprising, you know, when I was sober when I was 17
Um some old timer at AA said, you know
If you stay sober, you're gonna have a big life
You know, I mean and that was one of those things that rang true for me, you know
What about you?
My earliest recollection of happiness didn't um
Are few and far between in my childhood
Um, I don't remember ever feeling like a sense of safety
Like as a child, so I think maybe
Um, I think the first time that I was able to like drop down to the bottom of the ocean and
sort of like
Realize that
There was this cool little place I could escape to and where my mind shut off or everything shut off
Like that was the first sense of like I like this life and I like this world
Um sometime in my 20s, but as a young kid, I I never felt safe
So I don't think I could ever like have a moment of thinking like oh, this is joy
So there is none
That's what I'm saying with my 20s when like the first time that I was able to like hold my breath underwater
Oh, I see like in the ocean, but do you remember the day or where it was or?
Probably it was in the Philippines. It was in Maulbaal. Okay, it's my it was a place that my family and my dad
Dove a lot because my dad is a scuba diver
And my uncles dove a lot there too and it was a place that I grew up and I went back there and when I was 19
And I basically, you know, swam in the same place that I had, you know
You know where my dad had like in the 70s and yeah, it was nice
It was nice to just be there and be like, oh, this is probably the same stuff he saw
So I don't know. It doesn't seem as
Like big but it meant a lot to me at that time. No, it's a big deal
um, but
Yeah
Here's a good question for you're not gonna answer that guys. Oh the what was again? It's okay. The first time you've ever
Sorry, I found a good one that you would like. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. If we were in a band
What would our name be? Oh
What would be a good name for like 2022 what would hit the singles what would be like billboard
George for you too, what do you think of band while they think come thoughts
Come thoughts. Yeah, we are the come thoughts
We'd actually be a british. I feel like we would all have british accents. Yeah, but not come like see you. I'm come
Oh, I thought it was it is that oh, yeah, yeah
But it's one of those things where we would argue. No, it's not like it's not come thought it's c o m e. Yeah, yeah
I don't know. I just came out of that. Um come thoughts. Yeah
Like punk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about you guys?
Do you think lila band name for us? I like what bobby said that's it sounds um, pretty yeah
I was gonna go outcast since I couldn't think of anything
Uh better and then I was hoping you're outcast there was already back out
No with an s because we're all outcast, you know
Good, but there's already an outcast even though the spelling's different. There's no way I like beetles. I know there's also a
I know what the fuck. There's also a steven merchant show on amazon prime with it. Yeah, it wasn't the wow
I don't know why this is ringing in my head for us, but we are the bordeaux figs
Our bordeaux figs bordeaux figs. That's pretty good. I love figs. Yeah. Yeah
Um
All right. Well, let's talk about that's that guy need to talk about a deep deep. All right. So, um
You want to talk about something
That's a little uncomfortable for me right here wildcard admit something. Okay. This is it. All right. So do you want me to open it then?
Um, yeah, if you if you want bobby
Oh god, this is hard
All right, I just want to announce to everybody that kalilah and I are no longer together
Um, it's been oh not over. It's not over. I mean the sense that you know
We
I want to say that kalilah is
The love of my life
My best friend
Um
If there was a book about my life, she would be
If there was 10 chapters, she'd be four of them at least five of them give me half
I'll give you half of that. Yeah, you ever have the book. Um
She changed my life in so many different ways
she
Reinvented who I was
and um
Yeah, um
And the reason why we're announcing that is because um, there are things that people
believe online
that aren't true
and I want to address those things because um
It's causing a lot of pain in our house. Um
And I'm gonna start with
My part in it
And my part is this
You know years ago kalilah, um
Had this heart condition
And it started in the philippines
And she we were in the philippines and I had to carry her into a taxi and we thought she was gonna die
and um
You know after that, you know at home
We just would have the ambulance at our house two or three times a week
We'd always constantly go to the hospital at five in the morning
um and
At that point in my relationship with her I changed a bit and it became
um
I was just worried about her keeping her alive
And I think that it shifted the relationship, you know me
um
You know, so a lot of the sexual stuff
That I felt before that had diminished
And it became more of a
um
Caretaker not caretaker. I just says the terrible word to use but like I was
Extremely worried about her and when you're in that kind of situation, you know
Um a lot of that energy and it changes the relationship at least, you know
And then um, I began to um
fantasize about
Other women I would watch porn every single night
And you know and this is over years of this and she
I just distinctly remember there were moments where we would sit down and she would be crying going what happened with us
Um, there's no intimacy
I feel like you don't know me anymore. I want you to get to know me again
And a lot of times I would do false promises like trust me. I'm just going through a phase or I'm working on it or whatever
and I would um
You know, basically
shrug it off
and
Tell her that I was we're going to deal with it in the future or whatever it might be
But this is years of this. I mean in fact, there were times where she would
Plan vacations so that she could rekindle
Some of the magic that we had lost, you know, um one time we were in
Hawaii to do that. It was the first time I went to Hawaii
that wasn't a work related thing and um
I think we we tried, you know, um
And it it looked optimistic maybe sometimes but um
I don't know, you know, I I I have to say that, you know, a lot of it was my fault, you know
And you know, I wasn't therapy talking about it. We did couples therapy and stuff
and um
So eventually got to the point where obviously people have needs, you know, and she had needs and we didn't know what to do because
Of many things number one, like I said, you know, we
Literally are best friends. We spend 24 hours a day together
We created tiger belly together. We have other things that we want to do
Um, we have seven animals. We live together. Her niece lives with us
We're a family and there's a you know a warmth in the house and um
it feels
like a family like I said, but um
But it got to the point where you know, it's like what else if I'm not going to change
And I'm not, you know, and I trust me. I tried. Um
Um, so it got to the point where I was like, you know, we threw out suggestions and things that, um
Would you know
I was mindful about how
Kalilah can
maybe, you know, um
Get her needs fulfilled, right? And I threw out suggestions. Maybe you should see somebody else. You know what I mean?
And you know, I said it a couple of times. Um
I also want to address something that happened with, um
My brother
And this is a very sensitive thing for me, um
you know
anyone listening to
Tiger belly and are familiar with our podcast knows
The things that have been going on, you know, I mean, it's been a nightmare, you know, um
Um, so essentially my brother said some things to a random person. Um, that we're not true. Um
He has
to me personally
Apologized, you know, I mean for me, you know, I mean, um
And I think he knows
His mistake, but I don't know fully, you know, I mean how he feels but, um
Essentially, you know, he said things like, you know, Kalilah was a gold digger
um
I have to say that
To people listening, um that, you know, when I met Kalilah, I had no money
You know, I was making I could tell you what I was making on the road
I had no other prospects of cash. The only amount of money I was making is through doing
a b room sometimes
And getting not a door deal but getting like, you know
um
A guarantee, you know
So it's that's all it's not I mean compared to to all my peers and stuff really and when I met her
You know, she kind of reinvented my thing. I made my money
with her
She has her own money, right
The all the things that I have
In my life, right is a direct result of meeting her and her her and I building a business together
um
Other things have
Grown out of that like, you know, my it rekindled my acting career
Um, you know, I've I've done well when it comes to selling things and whatnot. It's been very good, but um
You know without her. I don't know where I'd be, you know, um
So him saying that she's a gold digger is not true. She's not she's never asked for anything. Um
And she he um said um things like he's
She's keeping you know, I mean
me from other people or right or something like that or you know, and um
You know during the pandemic
We didn't see anybody, you know, you know, I'm tired of people thinking that I don't make my own decisions
You know everything that I do I make my own decisions. I'm Bobby Lee. I do what I want, right?
And during the pandemic I was super fucking scared. I didn't know anything about this virus
I didn't leave the house for a year and a half. I didn't even go to the grocery store for a year and a half, right?
And and and I didn't see my brother, you know, I mean, I didn't see my mom
Um, right and see anybody, right? Um
And you know, I think that my brother thought that that was you know, I mean me disappearing
Or you know, I mean or you know, I mean something was going on. You know, I mean that was like, you know, um
I don't know. I don't know what he was thinking but um and um
Yeah, with all that stuff that he said I don't I don't know if you got even if people even listening knows
But you know, he had texted some random person his gripes that were absolutely unfounded and not true
And people have taken that and ran with it online
And it's really hurtful to Kali. Let's hurtful to me. Um
And I just wanted to address it. So, you know
just
You know, I another thing that I want to add is
you know, I
was
Intimately flirting with other people and there was things that she caught me in that were like, you know, I mean kind of um
You know
It took her back. I did some lying, you know, I mean and there were things that you know
None of this was like an anomaly or is that the right word or
You know, I mean out of nowhere, you know, I mean, it's a reaction right to my behavior
um
I've done a lot of
growth in the last six months and and changes
um, I put some hard boundaries down
And um, I don't really give a shit
to be honest with you
what people think
um
I I don't give a fuck
um
And the people that are that are saying shit about me in this fuck go fuck yourself
I mean because you don't know
My this is my personal life
And this is our life and it's like, you know, they're being being very mean toward kalayla
And I've had enough of it, you know
um, it's unfounded not true
um
And um, she's a good girl
And I love her very much
And um, I wish people would stop, you know
I really do um
So that's pretty much everything in a nutshell for me. I um
Um
Like I mean, I love kalayla. I love my brother as well, you know, um, he hurt me
He hurt me
It was painful
um
That being said, um
I know through time things will heal
and I
But here's the good news
I I'm we're not stopping tiger belly
We're not. Um
We're good
We're good
We're not stopping. Um, I'm never gonna see anybody else in my life
I just know I just I have no interest. Well, you're a priest. I have no interest. I really have no interest
You know what I mean? We just need time to heal. You don't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, um
That's how I feel. You know, I'm not compromising
You know, I mean, I'm not gonna watch your movies
Yeah, I'm just telling the future if there was a future. Yeah, I'm not gonna go to your restaurant
I'm gonna eat what I want to eat. Oh, you know, I mean, I'm not gonna listen
I don't you know, I mean, I'm gonna play 20 hours of video games if I want to
And whatnot and so that's that but if you have a real interest
No, I have no interest in I have no interest in any of that. No, I'm just telling any girl
I'm not listening. I will not listen. I will not cuddle
I will not cuddle. I will not listen and I don't give a fuck
All right, I'm not doing any of it. It's it's not who I am
So that's that it's this has nothing to do with
You know, I mean anybody else or my desires or whatever it has to do with preserving
Tiger belly
Kalilah and I work great together. We have great ideas. We're producing another thing together
We're gonna do a book. You know, I mean and you know, um, I'm super excited about the future of my business here
Um, we have a great family. Um
And uh, that's it. That's all I wanted to say
It's Michael. Yeah anything, Kalilah. Um
Yeah, I just uh
I'm sad, but I love you and that's it
Um
Just give me a second. Yeah
I just don't want to like say it. Um
This podcast has like
I never thought that I could ever like dabble in anything creative
Like you know that question earlier when you were like, what's one thing your younger self would like never believe
Yeah, is that I would even be allowed or that I would allow myself like a creative outlet
you know
and yeah, this podcast has changed my life and um
Even though difficult
There isn't like a moment of
regret that I spent
10 years of my life with you
You're so much better at talking. I'm just like I just I don't know why I just can't talk but um, yeah, there isn't like, um
An even tiny bit of regret that I spent the last 10 years of my life with you
I think it's like
Um, an even tiny bit of regret that I spent the last 10 years of my life with you
Or that I gave you my firm skin years
I'm a little salty about that. Yeah, you look great, baby. Yeah, and I'm sorry that um hit the road. Yeah
Hit the road. You look great, baby
Good luck out there
I I I have so much
um, I don't know I have
It's kind of like this weird thing that we we made, you know, and I just I want to I want to keep going and I want to um
Funny enough, I think that we've never been closer
Mm-hmm like you've been talking like almost like every day like since we decided to kind of like let go of the
the label
Um, we've just been I don't know able to hang out more be truth more truthful with one another
We're not trying to like mince each other's words to try to like protect each other's feelings
We're just being really like blunt and honest and open and it's been so much more
fun being around each other
And um, I don't know. I just want to thank you guys for um sticking around and um, I hope that
You know you continue on this journey with us
Oh, they will
They will because um, you know, I want to I kept telling Colada this and I want to reassure you both of you, right
Of the magic of it is like that Saturday night when we did the live show at the ace theater, right?
There is something there
um
that
I kind of got you know, I mean what why we do it and why we need to keep doing it
um
We're not the most popular podcast in the world. I don't think we ever will be
You know, like we're never going to be a Joe rug and we're never going to be a sugera probably or any of these other ones, right?
But I'm okay with that because the people that do listen to us are
Are like-minded and um, I can't be anything else. Mm-hmm, right? That's the thing. I'm this is the first thing in my life
Yeah, I try I always try to fit into these like I'm on a sketch show
So I got to learn these care, you know, I was like fitting into these environments the best I could you know
I mean or if I'm on a sitcom like you think when I'm on sex in the city or whatever that I'm myself
No, I'm this christian
I show up like hello, Sarah. How was your night? You look great to I mean, I'm like not who I am, right?
But in this environment, this is essentially
Give or take what I am or who I am, you know, I you know fumble words. I don't know what I'm talking about
That's who I am. You know, I mean
um
so, you know
it's the easiest thing to do right and um
It doesn't give me heartache. It doesn't give me stress. It's the most enjoyable thing
that I've ever done in this business
Okay, and um
So, um, we have a good thing here
um
And I'm not gonna let
Anyone tell me different, you know, I'm not gonna let people online try to destroy us
and um
They they're not gonna do it. We're gonna keep going
And hopefully we'll grow a little, you know
And um, we're fine. I think we're fine
um
Where are you guys on this? Yeah, let's hear your views
I think I'm definitely uh
sad
I think I've talked to both of you different times throughout this whole process. So, uh, I think I've been already been processing it where
Not honestly not even worried about the podcast bit were to ever end, which I know it wouldn't. Um, do you guys have talked about that?
You're fired. Okay
No, uh, just brings me uh
I think I already grieved you guys together as a couple, uh, but I've also seen
like
I see a lot that people don't see and I think you guys were unhappy for a while and it really
really, uh
I don't know. I just saw the pain from both of you at times and I was like fuck like
I want you guys to be together forever like like the audience does mom and papa forever, but it's like
mom and papa aren't doing well when they're together right now. So
I think the you guys made the very
Important decision to do this and it saddens me that you guys aren't together
But knowing that you guys are on this way to just being way happier individually is uh
I guess I look forward to that
But sadness, but but you know what's changed though. I mean we sleep on the same bed together. He doesn't want to let me go
You guys you think free bobby free me
She's not leaving. She's not leaving. I've literally been like I'm looking for another place to live and he's like no
No, he's not allowing me out. No because it's just you know, what's changed
Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
So you're stuck forever. I he's been okay. I'm kidding. No, I know I know but I think that because we've been
Operating in this way for a really long time like
Like we didn't grow apart not even in the slightest if anything we just grew closer, but we got grew closer as like
family right
Yeah, and like I mean
My mom and him are like best friends. You think we're best friends. No, he's best friends with my mom
Here here's the thing that I won't here's another thing
is
Her family is essentially my family, you know, I
I love every single one of them, you know, like my own flesh and blood
And um, they're always gonna be a part of my life
um
I love them that much, you know, so um
But it's interesting that you haven't expressed anything towards
Yeah, I want I do really need you to be like emotional and clear because I think Gilbert did it
You know, I mean, but I heard nothing from you. So go ahead. Here's your mind. I never want to interrupt you
So gross
Go ahead
You know Santé, but no, I just like to see you guys and want to see you guys happy and like it's always
I don't know. I'm sure there's a lot of pain going on in the background
But when I come in here like, you know, lately I've I haven't seen the cloud as much
Yeah, so I don't know. It's uh, it's whatever. Yeah, I
obviously care a lot about both of you
and
Yeah, I've seen I've seen I see I see what like other people don't see, you know, I see what we cut out of here
and
Whatever makes you guys happy. I don't know. I just care about you guys so much and right now. Yeah, we made a great show
and like I think like you guys are
We'll hang out like Bobby doesn't hang out after the show sometimes like
And nowadays lately you've been
Hanging out afterwards. Yeah, I think there's like yeah, yeah, I want to you know, here's I want it's interesting. I think
I um
It's odd. I don't know why but I just have more of an interest
in your lives
You know, both of you. Um
I don't know why that is but I just do, you know, I have like straight up
Changed Bobby. Yeah, I mean the fact that you text people back like not the same day
But like the same minute you receive well dominant monohand. I've been kind of not
Yeah, back. Would you like to admit why?
No, I have no reason why I was so busy that like I have no reason why and I feel bad about I love the guy
Yeah, I mean, I'm a fan and I'm a friend
Um, so I should text him more back. Eric stones. We got mad at me for not
Texting him back too. So he sent me a video. I saved it of him eating a Korean lollipop and he's
He's like whenever I eat a Korean lollipop. I have to get record and send it to you. I don't know why he did that
That's not racist. He did that. It's not racist. But my point is is that
Um, I've been trying to but um
I don't know. I just have more interests, you know
In your life, especially when I saw your son too. That was really interesting to me. Um, congratulations. Um
What a cute boy and I'm proud of you
So do I have to give you guys
Individual wedding invitations or can I still put bobbing koala as one? I'd like my own, okay
You know that, you know, we're we're going to uh, the Philippines in september
Yeah, bobby and I and all of us
We have a project that we we've been working on for a while and
I had to ask him. I was like, do you want your own hotel room or not? I said, yeah
Hit the road so hit the road jack
So you me and and george have to share one. Oh, we'll be at our own
Oh, you guys, you know, I thought we're gonna share the same hotel room with two different rooms or whatever. Yeah, no
We both decided sweet. Not that not that I I can sleep on the same bed. I just I have never really
You know, I
Choose the first woman that I've ever had a deep sleep with
Right, but still I sleep better alone. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, she's the first woman
I feel so comfortable with but
You know, I've never slept a wink with anybody else. Well, I think that like
Any type of stimulus bothers you any type of light coming through any sound you're very sensitive like you wake up
Like if you blink I wake up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, even though you're the dragon snorer. That's fine
I don't snore. I'm very very quiet dragon snore
What's up?
Right, baby. Yeah, so to recap this what's what's the future of tiger belly?
The future is we're gonna keep going. Um
But you know, what I do want to do is um, I want to grow the company
And I want to figure out how to do that. That's all
You know, we want to I want to do a clothing line. I just other things I want to do but um
Yeah, how do we end this though?
Or how about a new song?
Because you didn't sing you didn't sing a song at the beginning. So just we'll fade out a song
Really a melancholy one
Made up or hopeful
Yeah, I will not compromise
I'll play video games as long as I want to
You want to cuddle cuddle the pillow
If you want to watch your show watch your fucking show without me
You can eat at that restaurant because I'm going to Morton's steak
Yeah, yeah, I don't give a shit
Right, uh, how was your day? I'm how was your day? I'm kidding. I don't want to know
Oh
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