TigerBelly - Ep 365: Rick Glassman's 3-Day One-Night Stand
Episode Date: September 14, 2022Bobby Stevie Nixes the controversy. Rick Blesses (us with) the Broken Road (that Led Him Straight to Here). Khalyla puts on her eyelash and hits the bar. We talk Macmillan Miller, money prank...s, a little bit of Bobby gaslighting, and we have a message for Emilie at the Comedy Store.Please support our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G
Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky G Ricky little Ricky G
Like a little baby. No, no, I'm doing a lot better
Yeah, you look you lost weight somebody
That's a funny bit. Oh, thanks. I love it. I saw you. I saw Bobby at the comic store the other day. You were so funny
And
Funny guys doing doing our thing and girls. I saw you too and you were so funny
Yeah, and you know, you did a prank on me a couple weeks ago. I don't remember you don't uh, I'll remind you
Oh
Great man. Yeah. All right
Do do we want to start off this combative because I don't I'm not starting combative we low
We low I'm not joking. Could we raise me and lower him a little? Yeah, you raised me and Tim him to get it. Yeah
Yeah, I need my little higher. Okay. It's max. Is it max? Yeah, it's really. Okay. Okay
What is there a way to do it where you can raise me and him?
Well, can you why don't we try something? Yeah, why don't we all make it a deal? Yeah, why don't we raise one another up ourselves?
Josh Groban
Yeah, you know I could sing that right? I don't want you to sing it sing it sing it sing it sing it
He doesn't want me can we do the I need I need we do the prank first. That's a good song. Yeah, go ahead. All right
Go ahead. I have to ask his permission on camera. Yeah
You're gonna FaceTime Josh Groban. No, no, no, I'd be too nervous now that he's the beast
He's the beast and they the ABC
They're doing a live-action Beauty and the Beast and he's beast and I was thinking the other day
You know me that I bet you at least a big part of this was because he's known for this beard
And like I was wondering I bet you if you didn't have that beard forever. You may not have forgotten
Of course, he deserves it, but tell me about the prank. I thought you were gonna sing. No sing first. All right. I
Don't all right. Yeah
We're just happy to this you're good. Oh, you were I was speaking I pulled it away good. I know my voice I
Could sing other songs better, but I'm singing that one just sing the song okay, cuz I could sing some other songs better, okay
You raise me. Yeah, I don't know if I could maybe I'll start over you raise me
So I could stand on mountain it's not my skills don't start this yet. Don't have the podcast start yet
Yeah, yeah, that was good. Can I say my opinion? Yeah, it's okay. Was it even you really think it was at least okay?
It wasn't
Like terrible you go. Well, how did I what's the song you raise me? Do you want me to look it up in Korean?
Son of a bitch that was an attack. I like it. That was that was slide it tell me tell me what prank I did
Yeah, so we were in the main room in the lobby out in the front
Do you remember and you do you came up to me you go?
Hey, I just want to I feel uncomfortable about this and I go don't watch you can say anything to me
You remember yeah, and you go yeah, I do one of your shows and you owe me four hundred dollars
And I go oh
Fuck my bad cuz I usually you know of course
I want to be the guy that you know that pays you know we know and I was so so I go what's your Venmo?
Doesn't that I pull out your Venmo
What you're telling the story wrong like you're telling the story the way my mom does and I'm thinking like tell it
But now it's just it's getting off. It's okay. You're gonna enrage me. Oh, you remember you remember for sure pulling up my Venmo
That you were about to send it to me
Okay, no, but when somebody's telling a story, right, you know, you just you agree. Okay, I don't disagree to your lies
But go ahead. All right
Cuz they've gotten me into like in trouble. I get I get it
So basically you said that look can I start over the story then yeah, can I take it from you raise me up? Yeah, go ahead
God wait that back that far back
Good I love you and hate you
But my point is you told me that I owed and I felt bad about it and then was I gonna give you cash
I don't forget how it worked. Oh
Well, can you finish it? Yeah, I
Don't know if I would call it a prank is so much a joke that lasted 15 seconds
I said hey Bobby. Good to see you. We dabbed what what's good. Yeah, and then I said, um, I said you still owe me
$400 from the last I did the Bobby in French show and you went oh like what you exactly what you said because Bobby wants to be known
As a person who pays we know thank you and I go
And you go, what's your Venmo? I don't I don't have Venmo and then something happened
You were pulled away to take some pictures with somebody because they loved you and then you came back
And you like and then you go um. Oh, yeah, and you were like reaching like money to pay me. I go
I was just joking. You don't know me any money. Yeah, that was it. But can I say something when you?
Yeah, that's God
On an airplane. Yeah, no those guys dick. He just his dick across LH
Whoa, whoa, dude, you're getting confident. I love it. I love this version. It feels different over glass and very cocky
Did you just call him upperclassmen? Yeah, you're upperclassmen. That's that's when I take a pee upstairs you
Because you know, you got some awards and some acknowledgments from your show
You have another show that you're doing a pilot for another show
Right and I feel like you there's a confidence about you that I don't like your energy's fucked up and you're back
We're starting over actually I yeah start over bring it coming out. We want the old Rick
I want the old we want the old Rick. I would like to acknowledge one thing and they're gonna start over
Yeah, I'm not that surprised that somebody feeling positive and confident makes you uncomfortable. Let's start on over. Oh, oh, wow
Yeah, yeah
But can we do to say the same exact things that we said like I like what was said the script was good. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I
Oh
Oh fucking dork
Could we get Bobby out of here and make mine louder
Honestly, can you make mine louder too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It make my louder
Yeah, is there anyone to like make both of ours louder? Yeah, I got it. All right. Good
Josh Groban
You pour one out for the homie. Yeah
That god, you know, I think we got I think you misunderstood what I said
What did you want because the first the first time we ever did this podcast you gave us gifts
Oh, I don't have gifts. I know but you were kinder and like it's right there. I'm Justin Timberlake. Yeah. Yeah
Oh, wait a minute. I thought I was kind you I was just kind before I thought you did an Elvis
No, no, the first time the first time what what was the problem with the first one wasn't I kind the first one
I thought you were I was really just talking. Can we just go back to the first one then?
Let's go back to the first one. Do you want me to leave and no, no, no, no, we don't have to do we'll start from that
Yeah, thank you, man. Yeah, thank you
Appreciate
We're not plugging your debts. Oh, no, we're not plugging your dad saying yeah. Yeah, it's garbage
Okay, come back so anyway
I
Welcome back. Thank you
Welcome back. So, um, and then you said
You said I'm just kidding, but what I but I did have a panic when I thought I didn't pay you
Mm-hmm. So well, I didn't realize that I'm sorry. I made you uncomfortable. I was just playing around
But yeah, you've always been great with money
You've always any time I've ever like just did a guest spot for somebody that paid me if they even pay me
You always paid me the most
You're just awesome
Thank you. That's all I wanted
Yeah, yeah, sorry. It took so long to give it to you
Okay, so, um, welcome. We missed you. We missed you. Thank you. I miss you guys
By the way, just in case it wasn't clear. I meant the for you. Thank you. Thank you, Rick
One two three four. I'm just kidding. You know, I mean you so your podcast is going well, right? Thank you so much
Is it not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then um, so what you told me before
I'm just watching you try to play the character of interviewer and you just you asked one question and then stumbled
Wow
I might not people to do this right now. Can you ask a question? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Well, you had something else, right? Or are you just gonna make it? I did I care not to okay. Yeah
Your podcast is going great too. By the way, Rick, you're a single man now. They're both killing it. Thank you
Yeah, they're both killing it. Yeah. All right. You're a single man now
I hear well depends how you define single, but I'm not in a relationship. Mm-hmm. You know
How would you define single? I wouldn't
And I won't you don't seem like a guy that does like right
Right
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, you don't seem like I got an agree more
That is one night stands
Yeah, you know what I'm actually um, I like that. I just don't seem like a guy that because
That's less about what I seem like and more about your
Kind of ability to stop rejecting as much
And I appreciate that. Oh my god. I don't know if I can do this. Do you have to go to the bathroom or something?
No, you're just agitating me. Oh, you want me to go back? No, no, don't go back. I was trying to split the difference
Because because even though you were joking you still wanted me to start over you did want something different
And though I don't feel beholden to it. I would like to play with that idea
And if you wanted something different, I'm trying to meet you but now I'm hearing myself
I'm now I'm reading the comments. So go ahead. Yeah
The comments are good so far. I'm reading but have you ever until just that moment
Have you ever like a met a girl for one night and said let's go fuck
I don't talk that way. Well, let's have make love. However you that's how I say well, we establish on
Our episode of trash tuesday that you make them watch a sketch. No, that was that was a joke
Oh, you make them watch youtube videos. I knew ester wasn't sure but I thought you knew I was joking but I also
I also do know now more than ever even though I've kind of known it before now
I'm like, I'm really hyper aware of the fact that even if I know, you know, I'm joking
There's a great chance you don't so I'm not surprised
Unless you're fucking around right now. I'm fucking around. See you never know
I'll just I just don't instead of being sure of I don't know. It's not yes, Andy
Yeah, I don't think I don't think I slept enough for this
I'm like one b2. Yeah, because I'm feeling the feeling. I'll tell you what's going on with me
I'm feeling the feeling
Of of just put it down. I don't just tell us
Sing it you're good with this
What what
I'm feeling you know, yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't know like that. So I got a feeling
It's an angry feeling
Dun dun dun a killer Jewish guy. No, no, hold on. Dun dun dun. Smash his face against the pavement
The fuck the rug store your daddy's rug store sucks
Like something like that, you sounded so good. I felt pretty good. It sounded really good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, let me say something. Okay. I love you. Thanks for coming
Is that the show
Is that the entrance? Good night. Is that the shortest time your belly
You know what post this is a clip for the episode that doesn't exist
Yeah
But is it have you ever done that like met a girl and goes let's just you know
make love for one night and then never see her again like when one night stand
I don't know if I've ever never seen him again oh I see but I have met a girl or
a guy and that night but like also I don't know it's like but what if we talked
on the phone a whole bunch but we meet for the first time then right I see what
you're saying I don't know if there's ever been somebody that like I'm out I'm
doing my thing I'm at the bar I'm having a sandwich and a beer
to drink beer it's so silly to me that even saying that feels like a cartoon
you know me I'm just getting I have a Heineken or something yeah maybe a
vodka tonic or a Guinness and and I see a beautiful girl and I go up to her
excuse me miss and she goes yeah hi and I say maybe the girl or Bob you play
the girl yeah yeah yeah I'm drinking my beer you're doing your thing what do
your thing that I would notice like you're at the bar I don't know I don't
need it as a girl you are with you got a mirror just putting mascara on I know
where my fucking I figured I figured I'm at the bar here that an L shaped bar
that goes out and yeah the table looking this way in a mirror watch what I'm
doing now right he's putting mascara on the mirrors right this year there's no
mirror I know I refuse to use it I refuse to use that you have it all right
they go go all right but watch what I'm doing now all right right no mirror
excuse me excuse me miss miss oh hey Jew oh I know you yeah I noticed you were
putting on your Ricky glass me oh all right well it's nice to meet you I'm out
but that's that's it oh yeah I was out from the beat from when I said excuse me
miss twice and you didn't answer well I think you're seeing an Asian my Asian
face I must have let him in this time I'm meaning of you know what I mean I'm
at a bar and I'm meeting a wacko yeah well on my bad my bad all right so I'm
not doing this I'll be crazy you can be doing that you just gotta let him in can
I just have a drink yeah whatever you want just I'll be having a beer this is
a beer I what kind of beer a Budweiser oh yeah yeah yeah all right let's go one
of these just one all right here we go right and one I one swipe start over I
would try it yeah five four yeah three two action
excuse me yes I can't because your hands covering I was hello there hi your
hands covering it was that is that a Budweiser it is are you almost empty no
I just opened it I don't know if you saw anyway I didn't that's actually perfect
because I'm only gonna take 30 seconds near your time sure I wanted to kind of
I've been looking at you for a little bit I wanted to talk to you but I was a
little nervous so I thought maybe I'd plant a seed so I'm just hi I'm Rick if
you're interested in maybe talk I'm Shoshone yeah hello Shoshone yeah yeah
it's rude that you wouldn't ask my name oh I guess we're Shoshone yeah see stay
in it you got it right you got it right you got it right well she's showing you
what I would love is Jackson excuse me that's my full name oh I have a good
day why why Bobby why let me why you let me answer yeah well where did I fuck
up you let me answer yeah the answer is coming but first is the prologue
prelogue which is I understand what's happening I understand that you and I'm
not insulting you but I'm being very serious so don't take it as a joke we
are insulting my acting what I'm gonna know am I improv skills what I'm gonna
say is you're so far removed from reality you as a person of knowing what
people are that I'm serious that in a scene like the first one you were goofy
this one I really believe that you just have no concept of what people are
giving me another shot I'm gonna tell you something right now right I get what
you're saying now do you want me to be ultra real well I know just just regular
real yeah but I was just trying to yeah yeah but I was just trying to like be
entertaining as well wait what was the first word you were just what entertaining
before that you were what you were trying I was trying be here with me and
don't worry about what you need to be doing other than listening I'm serious
I can't do it today I know yeah I didn't sleep enough okay you want me to try
yes okay here we go all right let's see if this is the right one okay excuse me
hi what are you doing to your eyes that mascara yeah you know it's actually a
fall slash and I'm really insecure I feel like maybe the glue's not staying on
it doesn't look okay to you could it turn to the side it's it is coming off a
little oh no how embarrassing it's not embarrassing I just I would want to know
if my eyelashes are my eyelashes coming off you have beautiful lashes so I'm
Asian so we don't really grow that long a lashes I'm so jealous of yours well my
mother always told me never be jealous of what other people have because you
don't know what other people are going that's a really good point I'm Kalyla
hi Kalyla I'm her French ishonya keep staying everyone's on your jacket and
it's staying at everyone I just shown you hi I was just sitting here I know and I
don't I'm now realizing I should have introduced myself I just excuse me
excuse me close excuse are you two in a relationship oh no but by far no means
stay in it all it is all it's too real by far no means well I don't want to be
rude but the reason I started talking to you is because I was interested and I
wanted to start up a conversation but now I'm seeing I'm kind of interrupting a
no I can leave oh no you don't even have to leave but I mean now inviting my I feel
like please stay yeah we're just best friends where'd you guys meet college
yeah we met at college we were actually um dorming together yeah dorming
together is that the word yeah at the dorms not just roommates cat skills what
does that what does that mean if not just roommates what do you mean well
roommates can imply that we live in the condo together we were just in the dorms
together roommates in the dorm right or you you had you shared a room we did
share a room so your roommates yes at one point yes at the dorm though
specifically right you're not roommates now right are you single I'm sorry are
you living by yourself whatever I'm embarrassed I'm just gonna answer both I
can answer for her I can ask her answer for her yes yes and yes are you
interested in men yes I'm so sorry I think she's well I had one I've had too
many had one too many millers to me right I've had too many millers can I get
you drink right do you want to stay a bit longer I don't drink oh I also am
feeling like I'm interrupting and it's a little you're not you're not I turn away
because I had to put more eyelash stuff on my eyelashes I like I excuse me
facing walls for extended periods yeah yeah is that go ahead is that an Asian
thing um I think it's a way for Shoshone to decompress when she's feeling a
little nervous yeah right oh are you your hypers are you're hypersensitive to
stimulants well since my last name is Jackson half I'm half black just that
you could sit Asian but anyways well the is I'm Jewish and the Israelites love
to look at walls yeah so what letters and walls and you guys have your big
wall well that's of China that's really funny that's really funny sweetie I mean
friend my best friend that's really funny
big wall
do we I'm really asking for once like do we feel this game is worth it yeah because
I have a pocket so I have some jokes so keep on your I have some stuff like the
carrot you're I asked on you here's what we hey I have some jokes what I mean
um so I think you she saw this I just kind of woke up you know never mind I'll
kind of drunk and I was passing out but I woke up you know so we're at the
comedy store what are you doing here you're not paid regular
Saturday I paid regular is this oh is this Sunday where the open mic is because
we're on the lineup we're on the list we're comics yeah well what I'm a
comedian too but no I'm not passed what I think I've seen you before I think I
I love your podcast oh thank you you know what maybe do you do that is yours
the podcast with animations oh my god I do know you oh you're the neurotic got
you who'd like to touch this doesn't like touching what does that mean in
Korean is that how was your day no no touching and and see very good out
really good scene yeah that was you didn't like it I I just feel like I
know what I'm worth and you're worth everything and and if I'm around people
that aren't gonna let me shine I it's part my responsibility but I need to set
a boundary a little bit stronger mmm and that was after your second Shoshanya I
think I knew or is not it happening right or so you were out with that right
you didn't go you don't have a closer no it never happened nothing happened you
can still close I think I played it a little too real to where it was going
nowhere and it wasn't going it was going nowhere I was about to get your
number oh you were oh you were before Shoshone yeah yeah my bad even with
Shoshone yeah but then it started getting to fucking cuckoo town again but
what part Shoshone likes to face walls um you know yeah what else in the that
was the big one okay that threw you off no I wasn't thrown off it just we're not
having a real it isn't it it just ain't real babe which is fine but I was I was
stupidly really gonna do it with you yeah and then with you I was really gonna
be like oh what would it be like I like that game I actually if I meet somebody
when I was younger and I was like trying to learn this type of thing too
especially I would ask somebody like right away like let's say I did just meet
you hello hi I have a question I just I full disclosure I'm gonna be hitting on
you but I'm not doing it yet and I want to try something and if you're
uncomfortable we won't do it but good we do it does that work it does it does and
I'll go like that it should not and then I'll go like this let me finish yeah
okay I'll go like this and if she said no I would maybe make a joke and then try
again if she says yes I would go okay do you want to kind of role play I'm a guy
that just met you in a bar and I'm not nervous about it and I'm gonna play
confident and see how that works yeah let's try it okay I'm gonna I went up
can I ask a question no of course not it's all timing and you're messing it up
I'm going to not do it yet because then it seems too silly okay I'm gonna go back
with my friends I'm gonna eat at some point I'm gonna come over it's like a
path don't worry about it but if you're still here in like 10 minutes I might
come over that person I'll go over I'll eat for 10 minutes yeah now she's
thinking yeah yeah now she's not you know what she's thinking yeah you could
tell us but I know tell me what I'm thinking right I want to play I want to
see what that's gonna be like yeah is he coming back right yeah you hope I do
huh I hope so don't worry I will okay I already won can we do the cut to the
time the game hasn't even started of course not we time matters the question
was all right well then she's all right so let's go back to the original question
of whether or not you have ever had a one-night stand no he hasn't look at
him Rick is hot he is hot but he's weird yeah but that's well the reason I
haven't had one-night stand is because the three times that happened she
slept over for two nights so we had three-night stands oh my pet I didn't
know yeah yeah yeah first time I had anal was a three-night stand you can quote
me on that yeah we have a good time here I'm really having fun yeah I'm glad
you're having fun yeah you know what the thing is yeah it's like no matter what
I'm gonna get bullied but by by who by whom by whom isn't that your Asian friend
John whom so what I'm saying is it's just I could come in here and tighten up
and not get hurt but be aggressive yeah why do you why do people feel like that
I'm a monster I'm a nice guy you have a kind heart that's good but but you know
what do monsters have kind hearts you know no no then how can I be a monster
well I want you to ask Josh Groban how he's gonna tap into his role as the
beast because you're still scary even though it's worth getting to know you
but you know what how many petals am I gonna let fall before I'm gonna realize
I don't have to tighten up anymore we're friends right we are friends I love you
very much I do love you as well we love you very much although I've seen you out
a couple times but yeah and we've said hi yeah a couple times very cordial you
visited me to you I was on yeah there was a different destination than I was
actually wearing this shirt I was at a work dinner and I was in a good mood
because it was outside and it's new work and it's people and I feel like oh I have
a job it's a TV show it's a TV show congratulations thank you so much clap
Ricky G and I'm dry see CBS what is ABC okay good and I'm driving and I'm
passing the comedy store and I'm like I wonder if any friends are here I look up
the lineup and I see the only friend that I saw that was there was Bobby turned
in paid $16 to park they don't let you park there I don't even ask oh you don't
even ask anymore it's well it's I it's it's the now somebody who's working the
lot has to park my car when I'm not performing there I'm just I don't I
have it's stop I'm gonna do something right now and hopefully we'll clip this
okay and does that my camera I looked directly into the camera I'm gonna do
this for you okay Emily thank you at the comedy store this guy right here I
know everyone in the lineup is great this and that but this guy has proven
popular podcast award-winning TV show now he's doing a network TV he'd already
been on a network TV what does the man have to none of those things none of
those things are relevant and then when I do I'm not done there's only one thing
that matters I'm not I'm not that's not it that's not it okay and when I have
done my Bobby and Friends show in front of you've always paid me well you do
you always pay me I still have some of the money you gave me because I don't do
that don't do the prank because it's insulting will you not do pranks anymore
money pranks good so yeah anyway I've seen him on my shows and he would
obliterate you obliterate my shows thank you it's very eccentric you know it's
not traditional stand-up in the sense that's a good thing all right but it's a
good thing I think we need a guy like you at the store right so highly
considerate or just make it happen yeah no let's get Nick Thune in first Amir
K there's a couple of guys but then you know you should be the only one thing
that matters and that was something that you kind of touched on yeah Amir
care before you Amir K before put them all before me that's fine yeah that's
not what I'm talking about yeah and Nick Thune the fact that he's not past I
didn't even know that until now it's disgusting love him but when you say I
annihilated yeah and I'm I'm so so it's people who don't know me I'm gonna come
across a little a little shitty here but I would always be like I know I'll be
funny I know I'll be good it's fine I'm a little weird I am so good and I'm
constantly annihilating that if Nick Thune or Amir K get passed before me yeah
I am gonna be so confident they I'm a right I'm a hand note and I'm gonna say
hey thank Bobby think Bobby what for getting you past yeah there's nobody
that isn't past now will ever be passed in the future without you first
suggesting it I really mean that I feel like you're the what's it called that
the the hand with the thing in Game of Thrones hand of the King you're the
hand of the King hand of the comedy story I don't know if you're being
sarcastic or playing games being silly but I mean it yeah yeah that's not
very true partially not that's not necessarily true if I mean I do you
probably have the loudest voice there like the most if I look I mean I have
my opinions now I'm not always right you know I do I'm not but I do I think in
terms of the three that I mentioned right I could make arguments for all three
of you strong arguments thank you and I agree I could make arguments for Nick
Thune and Amir K as well yeah in fact Emily is this my camera yeah let me tell
you something when I came up with Amir which by the way mad TV salty locks
podcast so many great characters he is so fun you know what I've had I've done a
couple of shows with him he annihilates annihilates annihilates unfollowable so
all I'm saying is heavy suggestion Amir K you do Nick Thune oh I don't do very
good you gotta do it though look at the camera people no no okay you have to try
Emily yeah Emily listen Nick Thune you know just woman-to-woman probably let's
admit it the hottest man in comedy dresses really well let's suppose he may
not be an annihilator at least get him up there for the numbers because the
women will come to the show that's not good no he's an annihilator he is an
annihilator he gets laughs on his own way yeah through music and right through
music yeah he's great you're great jokes I actually I've never seen he's great
yeah no I believe don't say that don't say that no I just I just know he's
great guy say his credits club let's put up some oh yeah yeah yeah look Emily
great comment he's done what's his most recent one just saying at this point
anything like you know he's been on mr. Roosevelt Wow he's been on Dave made a
maze yeah he's been on the right one mixed tape the guy is an endless pool of
talent okay don't sleep on Nick Thune Emily new merch pass him don't sleep on
Nick Thune Emily sleep with him sleep on him sleep with him I do you let's
say this is Nick Thune handsome of course of course too both of those guys
have amazing hair they do both have amazing hair but I think that the U3
answer that's why I'm pushing by my point is that Emily I highly consider
does Emily watch this you think she watches this I'm being serious do you
think well it'll get back to her yeah do you feel uncomfortable about that no I
just it's like let me make a suggestion to Obama you know and like you know it's
if Emily doesn't watch you know Obama doesn't watch the chances are almost the
same that is true you know but the odds of Emily watching is far greater than
that I'll give you but but still the odds are so small that even though it's
five times the amount absolutely is not small could you both talk to camera
Obama you know Emily fine how about this yeah if you're watching this pass me
immediately and we'll know you saw it and if you're not watching it very good
I guess I won't get passed and you could head on over to Rick lastman.com check
out the store we have not passed at the comedy store hoodies I have those I have
that hoodie my favorite to wear comfortable right Barack Obama get him
try to get Barack passed to Emily do you know that Barack do you know that Barack
follows Asa Kira on Twitter yeah I know that and you've said that to me so many
fucking times that it's now getting to the point where you think that I'm like
doing something wrong in my career well I done everything I can Brock just
doesn't want to fuck and follow me I don't know yeah yeah get it back oh sit
back down sit back down everything's fine everything's fine everything's fine
yeah yeah yeah so Brock wow Emily I know you guys broke up but that was
uncomfortable let me ask you something I was over here thinking that's one hell
of a spicy meatball already then what the fuck are you on your medication what
yeah are you okay yeah you're gonna ask him something no I wanted to ask you
this do you have a problem sleeping at night huh I'm sorry just couldn't it's
one more time driver what that's okay okay I think you got I think you did
hear it oh would you hear it do you hear it yeah do I have problem sleeping at
night yeah then why would I have that bit it took a swing and a mist was that a
prank but I didn't strike out so that's right do though pitch the ball I do no
because I hit a home run on that little so now new batter all right all right
bad at least all right
Brooklyn is down on the farm bro you know everything in our house our
comforter sheets yeah they're all Brooklyn Gilbert I love it is this so
nice you know that high-thread count doesn't always mean high quality sheets I
did Brooklyn is here to put an end to confusing inflated thread counts because
bigger isn't always better well when it's time for bed that is true and did you
know Rick everything from our robes to our towels to our sheets to our pillow
cases well I know that you're so picky so why is it that you chose Brooklyn it
what is it about them that different because we know about quality and the
most important thing and Brooklyn and goes be above of and beyond to deliver
beautiful home essentials by partnering with top caliber suppliers and using
only the highest-grade materials high quality materials Rick high high
quality sometimes I'm sitting on these these these linens and I feel like
there's a high thread count but I'm not comfortable is anything is Brooklyn and
anything like that jewellery it's luxurious wow if you ever need the
extra nudge check the five-star review what if you ever need the extra nudge
oh check the five-star reviews over a hundred thousand of them whoa yes you're
that right couldn't have a thousand five-star reviews so so refresh your
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today all righty then Jim carry all right do you have a hard time sleeping at
night I take melatonin it works if I don't take melatonin maybe I'd have a
difficult time but I don't take much have you tried the ending L or magnesium
yeah I take magnesium to poop it doesn't put me to sleep though depends what kind
of magnesium I've tried a lot of magnesiums I've tried the complex
magnesium I've tried the citrate magnesium I've tried the oxide magnesium
baby I'm a magnesium house and business is good doesn't mean that I'm falling
asleep with it and it doesn't mean I poop since my last tiger belly appearance
yeah really good which I haven't yeah so you you can sleep pretty well I for
me I feel like you don't I feel like you you toss and turn I think you think a
lot I absolutely do but you know I went on a walk today with her buddy David
Sullivan do you know David love Davey and I'm a great actor great actor great
very funny and you know what how funny he really is love it I would say out of
all my non-stand-up friends yeah at least non-comedian friends for an actor he's
funny he makes me laugh out loud just as much as any of my other friends really
yeah and I'm not doing there's nothing like I feel the need to defend he just
he just had you know you meet somebody in the way they say he just it just works
for me he says the thing he makes me laugh all the time he can't stand the
guy got me a TV show what show when I did animal practice I was I hadn't booked
anything in years so like a bunch of guys right you gotta use Sullivan as a
acting coach he's coached me for almost every job I've got yeah and so I he
coached me and he got me my head around it never used him after that well you
were you made it already leave those behind yeah yeah but he's a great guy I
don't remember there's something he's a great guy one of my best friends but I
was gonna tell you something about something that happened outside I don't
remember what it was it was you went on a walk with David so yeah but why what was
I gonna talk about what you said something about sleeping oh you saucy
interning I was well it's a longer and I want to hear it I want to hear it well
I'll tell you just that the whole thing the whole thing the whole thing the whole
thing so I'm thinking a lot today as I do by a lot of things all the time and I
was just like thinking and not getting out of the house and and I was that's
enough that's enough we've got to get through one through line here yeah I
know but what can I do that's why I shut things down it's just too I'm here to
listen finish oh why don't you do the interview go ahead Rick please proceed
it's actually break this is going well I think in your head you think this is
not everyone in the room to shut the fuck up oh let me just make an
announcement everyone in the room shut the fuck up all right I'm the captain of
the ship right and we're sailing forward upward sideways we're getting to
the land all right I'm gonna tell you this right now so you seem to think that
we're spinning in circles and once again you're telling me how I feel instead of
just doing the simple thing of asking that's what you're doing let me just
talk then say I think everything that I say you don't have to have a fucking
opposing thing gaslighting go that's not gaslighting okay is that gaslighting
little bit okay it is and I apologize I don't want to gaslight anymore no one
wants to or it's just the tools you have yeah running low it's a survival
tool I have yeah and I'm not running low okay well I'm glad that you're
surviving on this island by yourself because I can't be on this island that
long because I need hammers I need saws I need air conditioning uh-huh these this
is going fine right and we're this is gonna cut together you brilliantly oh
you're gonna do some you're gonna cut no we're not gonna cut anything out of
you we're doing fine I know we're doing a great thing yeah but I don't know why
now you're in my head like I'm not in your head I'm in my own head who else is
ever in there baby that's right it's really a choice it's actually as simple
as saying whatever yeah you'd be surprised what else is who else is in
his head there's several people there's several yeah yeah oh you're speaking of
of trauma just DID you know I don't know what that means dad oh yeah so
confident dad she's a DID oh he's a DID I go dad's in there that's how Scottish
people yeah yeah Scottish people call the dead my did I did yeah that's what I
heard that's what I heard I think it's South Africa they freaking I did so yeah
DID what's it did fuck so yeah I think I do think a lot but I then I have tools
that help me turn it off yeah and I could do that when I go to sleep uh-huh or if
I need to charge would you like to talk about your new show do you can you talk
about it or no it's not out yet I don't know when it's coming out is it picked
up yeah alright so you have 13 episodes in the bag we're filming episode 4 this
week amazing congratulations are you one of the leads I am how many people are
into the show six oh cool so it's an ensemble well it's kind of it's Gina
Rodriguez a show and then an ensemble below her I would say she's the main
she's the main I love her what's she on I don't know oh my god if we just let it
go and I say I love you though it's fine you would recognize if you saw her she
was very popularly well known from the the show Jane the Virgin which went on
for love it so she's a nice lady wonderful she's older now though huh my age
probably younger in terms of but yeah okay is it about Mexicans oh no no no I
said it's picked up oh that's true we're talking about I forgot that's right I
forgot ABC doesn't yeah who's George Lopez then that's NBC that's NBC yeah they
yeah yeah oh that's the team no two people were recast okay oh they weren't
take that off that doesn't make any sense you know listen when it comes out is
it single camera or three camera single camera oh that's fun yeah are you doing
on a studio or location studio some location or no studio 20th century okay
Fox well because sometimes you know I did a studio show right but sometimes we
would go today we're shooting in the house outside so we have to go to a
location yeah most my scenes are in the same places so I'm they do I'm sure they
do location stuff but not me yeah so you go over there you go in the stage you
do the same you do your thing yeah and I'll show up I'll get you know do what
I well Rick and I have an idea who's Rick me
are you talking to kick Rick Astley right I love Rick yeah Rick last yeah you
fuckface tell me your idea in a Rick Astley melody yeah that's hard this is
good no no no that's do you think you weren't in the pocket there let's go
again maybe no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no it throws me up because
not know the melody because it's not another part of what I'm supposed to
sing I don't we try I'm gonna do it I don't call cry for I gotta I'm gonna do
We're gonna do a show with Rick.
Gonna do a Rick Glassman idea with Rick Eats.
That's fine.
Tell me what's the idea,
but I wanna hear it in the song.
As long as you find a way to rhyme.
Ooh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, the idea is we're gonna do a podcast,
but a nostalgic podcast from the 80s.
And something. Something.
What? Don't say something.
It's something from the 80s.
Were we gonna do something like that?
You and I wanted to do a podcast,
but from the 80s or something.
Yeah, I wanted to do it where you and I filmed a podcast
a long time ago, 1980s, 70s, 60s, 50s.
And we're just putting it out.
If it's the 60s, it's black and white.
We'll wear black suits in the early 60s.
Early 60s, and we'll talk about things
that are topicals of try to.
It's like the madman of podcasts.
But then we would do the 70s
where we'd grow our hair a lot along and be more hippie-ish.
I did once do a podcast,
a limited series with John DeWalt
that we called the first episode.
No, I don't know him.
John DeWalt, oh, here.
Boom, boom.
Boom, boom.
Yeah, I know him.
That feels similar,
so I feel like I just wanna acknowledge John.
Yeah, but you know,
doing with John and me would be completely different.
No, but you know, he would be a great asset
to help us write these concepts.
You and I would be bigger.
I'm just saying.
Is that true, though?
It's not about being-
No, but is it true?
Well, you-
Is it true?
Let me ask you something.
Yes.
Stop, I'm so sorry.
He knows he doesn't have a following like you do.
Thank you.
Of course.
Also, he doesn't pay like you do.
Nobody does.
Now you're rubbing it in and it hurts my feeling.
I'm telling you something.
You paid me more than anybody.
And I, you, you are something.
Very good.
Very, very good.
Wow.
It is feeling good now.
Doesn't it feel good?
We're singing.
Yeah.
We're back on our rhythm.
I'm set to beat about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I say beneath the town mill, I love you.
I singin' in the sycamore dream.
Everyone knows sycamore dreams.
Everyone knows.
Yeah.
Dream a little dream for me.
Yeah, can I talk about something controversial now?
Ooh, something spooky.
Well, this episode come out in your Halloween.
It's not that kind of controversial.
Oh.
I think it's going to make you not want to talk about it.
Oh, then probably don't bring it up.
Is it about my, my dick looks too big?
No, no, no, no.
As long as it'll do your body or anything,
or your career really.
Some people are scared because my cock is so big.
I'm just saying that.
Can I talk about something?
Or is it too uncomfortable?
I don't know what you're saying.
At least imagine you as having a monstrous dick.
You have a big dick.
Thank you.
100%.
I'm not going to leak anything because that's disrespectful
to the woman.
Plus, I don't even have anything to leak.
But hypothetically, if I recorded something,
I didn't do it, it came out.
I would think that I would be an Avenger.
OK.
You hear Glassman got a sex tape released?
I know he must be so embarrassed.
Yeah.
But now he's an Avenger.
OK.
The beard for Josh Groban as the beast.
What Avenger would you be?
I would play, I would play technically,
I would just play Thor's hammer.
I agree, yeah.
But the only one that could pick it up is anyone
I respect and connect with.
Hmm.
Hey.
Oh, so you could, excuse me, miss, sir, I'm sorry, one sec.
There's just a pretty girl across the bar
that I wanted to introduce myself to.
Hi, my name is Rick.
So can I bring this up or no?
I don't know what it is, but it sounds like I wouldn't want you to.
I mean, you're telling me I wouldn't want you to.
Why don't you not do it?
Why don't you not go for the shock and instead enjoy
the good time we're having?
Yeah, are we going for shock or controversy?
You're right.
You know what?
You're right.
You know what, dude?
Hey, pal.
What's up, dude?
You know what, dude?
Bro, I love you, dude.
Right?
Yeah.
I think you're a fucking bro ham.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, dude, we're tubes.
We're totally tubes.
Right.
And you're my gnarly bro.
And I want to say I was going to say something that's
going to be a little controversial,
but I decided to nix it.
You know why?
We have positive vibes going at this podcast.
Yeah.
And I just don't want to ruin it.
The vibes.
If I knew any Stevie Nicks song, I would say I want to nix it.
And then I would sing it.
I just couldn't think of one.
I don't really know that fan.
Rhiannon.
Oh, Umbrella Ella.
No, Rhiannon, the song.
Is that track?
Eight tracks.
What?
It's a track.
People in the comments will think.
Or a Fleetwood Max song.
A Fleetwood Max song?
I need the lyrics.
Which one is it?
Every melody you have been doing,
you've been making the lyrics, just saying something.
I know.
There's a song that I've been working on singing
that I could sing to you.
It's one of my favorite songs.
It's also a beautiful, like if you actually listen.
I took my love.
I took it down.
OK, landslide, OK.
Yeah.
So say I'm going to nix it and then do that.
So go back to what I was going to do.
But I'm going to nix it and then go.
I don't know about the nixing part.
Trust me.
Do you not remember what you said?
No.
You said I was going to bring up something
that was controversial, but I decided to nix it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you say, you know what, I'm going to nix it.
And then look at camera and then say Stevie Nix it and then do it.
All right, that's right.
You know, I was going to bring up some controversial,
but I'm going to nix it, Stevie Nix it.
I took my love.
I took it down.
I climbed the mountain and I turned around.
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills.
Till the landslide brought me down.
That's pretty good.
I think that scene worked.
Yeah, that's Stevie Nix.
It's amazing what a structure will do, even if it's a corny one.
It really just lets people come along with you.
That's something I've learned in conversation.
As silly as you want to be and as all over the place
you want to be, if you at least offer some type of structure,
a game, a pattern, at least people
could be involved in it with you.
And that's the bottom line.
And that's the bottom line.
So do you think we're ever going to do this nostalgic podcast?
Probably not, right?
You're busy, I'm busy.
I mean, I would do like a one-off thing
and then see how it goes.
Yeah, but the thing is, it'd be great if like, oh, by the way,
I found one.
I'm trying not to say the thing is, is that, but the,
here's the deal, is that better?
Here's the deal, here's the deal, babe.
Sorry, here's the deal, Bob.
Grand Hog's Day, I forgot the words.
Do you love that movie?
Yes.
Would you like about it?
Yes.
You never saw it.
You never saw it.
What I love about it, I love the whole movie.
I love Bill Murray in that character.
I love the direction of the movie.
I love the conceit that we've now seen many times since,
but that kind of originated, at least to me,
and it was done so well.
I love the insurance conversations.
I love that he helps the man.
I love that you cry during it.
I love that you laugh.
And I also think that that movie couldn't be that movie
without two people at least.
Who?
Bill Murray.
Yeah.
And Harold Ramis.
I think they're a force to be reckoned with.
Wait, Harold Ramis is in.
He's directed it.
Oh, he directed it, that's true.
Love that movie.
It was a really good movie.
But now, go ahead.
What were you talking about after Stevie Nicks?
There was something.
Oh, The Controversy.
Oh, no, that was before Stevie Nicks.
Yeah, we Stevie Nicks.
You're still in the back of your head.
It's still in the back of your head.
Oh, there was a song I wanted to tell you.
That you were working on.
I love what he's doing.
We're never going to bring it up.
We don't have to.
I'm not going to.
I don't want to make something that's uncomfortable.
I mean, I don't think I do.
Yeah.
Are you on dating apps?
I am on a dating app.
Which one?
I don't use it anymore, though.
But which one were you on?
Raya.
I was on Raya.
Did you meet anybody from Raya?
Well, I was on it since like 2016.
And then I stopped when I was in a relationship.
But before that, I met people.
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't met one person on Raya.
That's so hard for me to believe, Bobby.
You took six months, right?
You can look at my Raya.
Not one fucking connection.
But you're doing, you're killing it on Hinge.
Hinge is my thing.
Is that where you meet people who could put doors
on different ways?
Yeah.
Task rabbit.
And that's the bottom line.
So there's a song I want to, but you know,
you guys are going through, as human beings, a tough time.
No, we're not.
We're doing great.
We've had actually a massive breakthrough in the last week.
Yeah.
I'm so glad that maybe this doesn't apply to you.
But everyone else in the world is going through some things
as human beings.
Oh, yes, in general, we all are.
And sometimes we may think that what's in front of us now,
we may see the clouds and not even remember
that just above them is a blue sky.
And they come and they go.
But if you always remember what's beyond the clouds,
you're not going to put so much weight to the only thing that's
in front of you, that cloud.
And if you know there's more, so there's
a song that offers some perspective to this
that I love by Rascal Flats called God Bless the Broken Road,
who led me straight to you.
And I'd love to sing a lyric.
Yeah, I've never heard that song, so let's go for it.
Will you let me finish it?
It's not very long.
You're going to do the whole song?
Just like a verse and the verse to the chorus or something.
20 seconds.
It's fine.
I will.
Can I just ask you something?
Yeah.
Did you think I was going to interrupt you?
I wasn't sure.
I was kind of just asking permission
if I could have the floor.
And you may.
Thank you.
Yeah, no worries.
Every long, long stream.
Wait, was that confusing?
Can I just say this?
I'm just going to mouth it with you.
I'm not making any sounds because I'm inspired.
Oh, it's going to say this?
Yeah.
You get one more shot at it.
This is what I meant.
Like, let me just.
No, no, that's not what I meant.
I'm just saying, no, I didn't interrupt you.
Take all the time you need.
No, no, no, don't.
I don't need time.
Don't take all the time.
I don't need time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't need it.
This is a fucking show.
Every long, long stream led me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
leading me on my way into your loving arms.
This much I know is true.
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
You don't have to keep both.
I have to do one more.
Why, why, why, why, why, why?
Because that wasn't right.
Stop, stop, stop.
You give me a panic attack.
Every long, long stream led me to where you are.
Stop from the top.
Stop from the top.
Others who broke my heart.
Everyone lost and dreamed of me.
Lost and dreamed of me.
Hey, you wanted to get me out of it?
You got me out of it.
Let me do where you are.
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
leading me on my way into your loving arms.
Where are we?
This much I know is true.
Beat, beat, beat that God blessed the broken road that
led me straight to you.
Yeah, what does that mean?
I'll tell you what it means.
I'll tell you what it means.
It means this.
What's the bro?
Leave that up, please.
I really want to do this.
Yeah, but can I ask a question?
Yes.
Is it a road?
How broken is it?
Let me, let me, let me, let me first explain it.
Fuck you, dude.
Bobby, I need to know.
Bobby, I'm asking for a favor here.
I'm asking for a favor.
If you have a question when I'm done explaining it,
I would be happy to answer.
Please, would you allow me to explain it the way I know how
without all the goddamn interruptions?
I just want to ask you about the road.
Bobby, you're asking me, I'm asking you for a favor.
Baby, is it on a road?
And that's the bottom line.
Honestly, am I out of sync here?
I'm out of line for asking how road the broke is.
Here, because I need a visual as a broke.
Listen, listen, you listen, listen, look at me, babe.
But that's the problem, he's not listening.
Look at me.
You ask the question, he's trying to give you an answer.
And now you're not allowing him.
Now you're changing everything to be silly, but this matters.
Listen to this, every long lost dream,
every thing that never happened,
not getting into the comedy store,
not getting into the anywhere that you're not into.
Anything, any dream that you had
that maybe didn't come fruition, guess what?
What?
That's part of what led me to, now I'm gonna,
now I'm for the purposes of making this more connected
to Bobby and I think to anyone.
I'm not gonna make it as much as,
this song is about connecting to another person, to a love.
I'm going to add to that, not just another person,
but the love, the true love of your life, yourself.
So I'm gonna also speak about that, okay?
So it's an analogy.
So every long lost dream led me to finding myself.
All of these obstacles gave me the tools to grow.
Others who broke my heart, all the pain and anguish
I've gone through that I thought at the time
with the great clouds right in front of me, turns out
they were Northern stars guiding me.
I am now following these pains.
They point me into your loving arms.
I need to write it down,
because you're gonna interrupt me, I have questions.
Great, write it down.
All right, so, so now we'll just wait
because that's a much better thing.
Okay, so now we'll just wait.
Stop for a second, all right?
Stop, I gotta write it down.
He stopped at Northern stars.
So write your,
Well I can just memorize Northern stars.
All right, great.
Yeah, yeah, I'll have to write it down.
Memorize your question.
So, and he's always saying, you know what?
I also, he's saying this
because he wants to rhyme true in you
and I get it, we're poets.
But he's saying, not only is all this stuff
something I was thinking, I know it's true.
So now that I know this, let me say God bless
this broken road, this hypothetical,
it wasn't as easy as it could have been.
That's the only thing I want an answer.
It's not a literal road.
Let me straight to you.
But it could be.
Northern stars, I have a question.
But it could be.
You thought the Northern star
was the literal Northern star.
The road was the only thing you thought was literal.
The only thing else?
I'm just saying, I didn't know
that the Northern star had that much light amplification.
Well, that's how.
It doesn't have light amplification.
It's like a fucking like a.
Yeah, how do you think the three kings
got to be like a spotlight?
No, it's less about how bright it is
and more about its consistency in our atmosphere.
But if I saw the Northern star up in the sky
and it's pitch black, would it give me the path?
But check this out.
No, no, you always know where you are.
But listen, I've never seen that.
But Bob, I've never seen that.
You've never seen a Northern star?
I've never seen another star.
It doesn't have to be.
It doesn't have to be an actual Northern star.
You're a Northern star.
And I guarantee somebody who is walking
through the path.
Can I say something?
I guarantee you a streetlight would suffice.
Okay.
Or a person could be a Northern star.
A streetlight suffice.
Yeah.
Thank you, Gilbert.
Okay.
If I need to go north and the streetlight is north
and you say follow to the streetlight.
But if you are facing west and it said continue west
and the streetlight was west,
you're just going streetlight direction.
You know, there's an interesting,
I have an interesting anecdote of an indigenous tribe
somewhere in the, I'm not sure exactly.
But they don't have the words in their language
for left or right.
They don't have the words,
which means they don't have the concept of it.
All they have is north, south, east, west.
You don't have, this isn't my right hand.
This right now is my south hand.
And because of that in their language,
it actually conditions them not just to speak this way,
but to think this way.
And innately, they have such a stronger sense of direction
because everything is now relative to everything
as opposed to just where you're standing.
And that's the best thing you said all day.
I just think that's so relevant.
The language that we have doesn't just dictate
how we communicate to others,
but how we think about ourselves.
What's your hand?
If we don't know the words, I'm not good enough.
We won't be able to think that.
If we learn the concepts of hatred,
we'll be able to embed it.
But if we decide to use language purposefully,
not just to communicate to another,
to get what you want,
but to get what you need from yourself
and say, I am good enough.
I am worth it.
And that's the bottom line.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Incredible, man.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming.
So let's do it.
We're done.
Every long lost dream
Let me do where you are.
Follow me though.
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know it is true
Can I get the next part?
Beat, beat, beat
That God blessed
Can I get it?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Start from the top.
Start from the top.
Every long lost dream
Let me do where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know it is true
Beat, beat, beat
That God blessed
The broken road
That led me straight to you
Tremendous.
D, when you don't interrupt, I can do it.
And that's your fucking thing.
You gotta learn.
I was being helicopter parent.
Bobby, enjoy the joy.
I do enjoy.
Does that mean you're thirsty?
I'm tired of this fucking.
Joy or joy, does that mean I'm thirsty in Korean?
Because have another Budweiser.
I'd like to hit on you.
One more time.
One more time.
I think that Shoshona needs one more go.
Be real.
Full circle, full circle.
Are we really done?
Because this feels short.
And I'm having the best time I've ever had with you guys.
I'm having a great time.
This is great.
Ever.
Yeah, yeah.
And by the way, we're not done with this is fine.
Look, look, look, look, look, look.
Nice.
Lock it in.
Hey, do you mind if I sit next to you?
Sure.
There's no one here.
Yeah.
I'm sitting.
You know what's funny?
I can't tell if nobody else is here
because I can't get my eyes off you.
Oh.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
What's your name?
My name's Rick, but my friends call me Dr. Smooth.
Because I'm medically smooth.
I'm Shoshonya.
Shoshonya, what a beautiful name.
Shoshonya Jackson.
Shoshonya, where are you from?
I'm Tallahassee.
Tallahassee, Florida or Texas?
Florida.
I've never been.
Is it as beautiful as I'd imagine?
The sunset goes deeper there.
Ooh.
Yeah, and the green grass.
Shoshanna, I'm just going to say something
that's on my mind.
And go ahead.
I think maybe I shouldn't say it.
Yeah.
Do you think I should?
I think you should.
It's a little inappropriate.
OK.
Are you comfortable with that?
I'm totally comfortable.
I'm from Tallahassee.
Florida?
Texas.
Right.
I guess what I was going to say is,
I have never wanted to bust a nut so deep in somebody's
pussy that I have, sitting here at this drink in my Yeager
mom.
Yeah.
And I would, oh, you go.
May I?
Yeah.
I would love to absorb your nut inside my vag.
You know what?
I would close my vag up, and it would ferment inside the vag.
Oh, I might not be able to have sex with you too soon.
You know why?
Why?
Because I just calmed.
You just calmed?
I just calmed.
Yeah.
And that's the bottom line.
Who's your friend?
What?
Oh.
She's doing her mascara.
Oh, yeah.
Normally, I think women who wear makeup are,
it feels like a costume to me.
It looks a little silly.
I don't think it's wrong.
And I love that it ups your confidence.
But I've never actually looked at a woman with makeup
and thought, I get it.
You just look like a beautiful woman.
You're so, your makeup looks good.
Are you going to offer me your come-to?
Are you interested in eating my come out of your girl's pussy?
Just like that, daddy.
Wow.
How about this?
How about you and I go to the Beverly Hills Hotel,
the three of us?
We'll fuck each other, and we'll fuck each other,
we'll eat each other out?
Unhopeful advice with Rick Glassman.
Hi, I'm a Mexican girl, 27, married to a American.
You had to go to NBC instead of ABC.
Don't quote me on that.
That's just a callback.
Oh, I got it.
Yeah, that's just a callback to the George Lopez show.
Really good.
But I don't have those stakes.
Really go.
I mean, the Disney characters, I mean,
is there anybody that covers more races, ethnicities,
and sexualities in Disney?
Go ahead, man.
Rick, you'll like this one.
I hate that we're done.
We're not done.
We have an unhelpful advice.
Yeah, but after this, can we do more?
This is my second podcast today.
I'm so burnt out.
You could leave.
And then by you coming, it just reinvigorated me.
I really like this one.
Yeah.
But you know what?
Wait, I have a question.
After I sucked your cum, is cummed the past of cum?
I thought it was came.
You said, I just cummed.
Yeah, I'm a silly boy.
Is that OK?
Are you silly words sometimes?
You know, I really go by the Macmillan book of grammar.
Oh, you're fucking boring, snooze-fest.
Do you not want to offer me your cum anymore?
I think that if you want to eat it out of your girl's
twat when you get home, feel free.
But you're harsh in my mellow.
And that's the bottom line.
Yeah, yeah, I like it.
I like Macmillan.
Is that the fucking wrapper?
Because otherwise, that's what he's talking about?
I have a question.
Macmillan is the book they gave all the kids in the Philippines
to learn grammar.
Oh, I'm sorry for not knowing about the fucking book
that they give kids in the Philippines when they can't read.
97% literacy rate in our country.
Thank you.
Yeah, congratulations.
Jesus.
Thank you.
Jesus.
Why would I know that book?
Oh, you know what?
I'm sorry, I thought you knew the book
that you read when you were a Jewish kid learning
how to read Hebrew for the first time.
Torah.
27-year-old Mexican girl.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm a Mexican girl, 27.
Fuck yeah.
Marry two of us.
What are you wearing?
OK.
Hold on.
Let us role play a little bit here.
What are you wearing?
A little tight dress.
I prefer my women to get comfortable.
Maybe you'll put on some sweatpants.
But first, take off that tight dress.
Stay in it.
Take off your tight dress.
Sure.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Jesus, I don't realize your body was that good.
Why don't you keep that dress on and put your titties in my face?
Yeah, just here.
Take the left one.
Thanks.
Take the right one.
OK, now what does it sound like if I take them both
at the same time?
Whoa, I was expecting just two plops.
But anyway, you're a beautiful cat.
Two plops?
There we go.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Do me a favor.
Maybe this is corny.
Can I ask you a favor?
See?
Turn around.
Bend over.
Show me your pussy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck is that?
OK.
It's fine.
It's OK.
Dad, dad, let me do it.
I want to see what it really sounds like in bed.
What?
Pussy.
I'm going to bend over now.
Whoa.
I just, I just cummed.
Well, I see that you're a silly.
Oh, I thought you were silly by your words.
Turned out you're not.
Do you like Arthur Miller, Brad Chance?
What am I, a Filipino kid who can't read?
I hope so.
I'm Mexican.
What's the diff?
You're right.
And that's the bottom line.
I'm a Mexican girl, 27, married to a Filipino 30.
My in-laws.
Slow down, slow down.
My in-laws bought a house.
No, don't slow down.
Yes, slow down.
He wants to end this.
It's my podcast.
Slow down.
No, you're trying to prolong it.
I'm not.
That's not right.
No, I really tried to.
You're trying to manipulate it.
Ooh.
You know what I?
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Oh.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
And then can we go straight to that and try to get the fuck out of here?
I'm taking it from pointing.
With me.
Great.
That.
That.
Pointing me on my way.
You gotta go.
Into your loving arms.
This much I know is true.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Be.
Okay, okay, that's a big deal
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms this much. I know
Don't say be
That god
Let me straight to you that god bless the broken
Row
Let me straight to you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh that god bless the broken row
They let me straight
If you don't finish it, you we're not gonna do it. We're ending it. Well, no unhuffle. I wanted that's
the way
Shorter one or the same one same one same one, but don't make her don't make her 27 anymore make her 34
Mexican though keep it Mexican deal. I'm a Mexican girl 34 married to a fish about to hurry it up
Married to a Filipino 30 my in-laws bought a house before he got married
So when we finally tied the knot they claimed that the house would be ours because only they both retired
Once they both retired they're going back to the Phillip. You have to start over
When he flubs the line, it's I get it. I mean you can't but I do understand. I loved it. They wrote it wrong
I corrected it. Yeah, okay guys. I guess that book didn't do too. Well did it mr. Miller
The thing is they've been doing whatever they want to the house
My husband and I have no say but the real issue is that they keep trying to have people come stay for months at a time at
The house there are people that know through church back where my father-in-law was stationed go to the shorter one
No, no, I could answer this very very simply, but am I you know where he's going?
Yeah, what's the last question that on the email?
I
Understand it's a cultural difference and the Philippines is completely normal to have friends and family under one roof
But I'm not used to it or comfortable with it. My husband gets upset at me for not compromising
But what the hell am I supposed to do? I just want privacy and we're recently married here you go
People got gotcha unless there's a binding contract and you want to take him to court, which I know you don't and I know there
Isn't it's not their house. It's the in-laws
It's they never gave him the house just because they said they would right which means you're living in somebody else's house
I understand how that could be uncomfortable whether it's part of your culture or not
But if you don't want to have that personally, I I totally get it get your own place get your own place
Yeah, I agree. I thanks for listening
But keep this in mind all these obstacles that you're going through and all the pain and the uncomfort of living with this family
You're gonna be learning things
It's gonna help you get to the place that you're supposed to be when you're supposed to and God bless that broken road
Yeah, that led you straight to home
It's a not a literal road
Or northern lights
If you're having a good time, how can you don't just keep going because I'm tired. He's hungry. I have dinner
Yeah, I want to go to sleep. Are you gonna have it's none of your business. I respect a boundary
Thank you guys so much for having me and that's the bottom line Rick anything
I want to buy merch sweaters that are high quality. I
Mean, I don't think that if I tell anybody to go buy my sweatshirts that are high quality or that look cool
They're gonna I think if they're interested in checking out my merch they will so I don't want to waste anyone's time with that
I'd rather spend that time instead to talk about some other stuff like
whatever
But you guys want to talk about oh, you know what check out. I am phenomenal check out my basketball video
Oh, I saw that eat my butt. Thank you. That's on youtube.com slash Rick Glassman
Thanks, Rick and make sure that I guess if I was gonna ask one thing
if
You decide to treat people with kindness you're gonna be happier it's self-fulfilling
So everyone has a rough day and don't beat yourself up if you fall short
But just practice kindness because I've yet to meet somebody who doesn't appreciate that
I'm Rick Glassman
And that's the bottom line
Are we babe, are you still here? Are you here? We haven't okay, let's thank you so much Rick
We can thank our guests
Let's go again. I
Want to thank a little bit to the good stuff maybe eight minutes in go ahead. I want to say I
Want to thank Rick Glassman for being here. I was a really good time. I think you're really
Honestly, it's in your blood. Yeah to do this. What is this podcasting with you? Yeah, but this is the last one
You said that every time for the what I feel like it's out up to you
I feel like it's up to them to be honest. No, I'm putting my foot down
Do they listen to you you you you you understand boundaries in such a poor way. I don't feel like you could establish strong ones
Okay, see you dude. Yeah
See ya, okay
Let's do a not better
Honestly, honestly, dude, um all jokes aside all jokes aside
Oh does do it the way that they do at the end of like the roast like when Don Rickles would be like Martin Scorsese. Yeah, you know
blah blah blah blah blah and he's
Robert De Niro, he's the best actor ever just ask him and they're like, ah, but all jokes aside Martin
I appreciate what you did put me in casino change my life. I don't want to do that right now
Dude, just do the end of the roast. I don't want to do any of it. Oh just starting with all jokes aside all jokes aside
Thank you so much. Is that better?
Is that what you mean? I can do a real good take you whatever I
I'm having such a good time with you guys and I feel so good. I'm so happy and I guess I'm just
Maybe I'm still I'm maybe I'm stalling so we could end it. Thank you
Let me ask you this then. All right. Yeah, I said from any of the things we're not going to go back to the song
I don't ever want to hear that song again. I don't want to talk about Josh Groban about his little silly fucking online outfit
Right. I don't want to talk about any of that, right? Okay. So what would you like to talk about?
I want to play with you guys more. I want to be like like I could I I'll tell you what we could talk about
I love I asked if to play this game up when we're on bad friends. I love this game
It's an improv game where we all say a word and we try but we try to actually be on the same team and tell a story
And let's see if we could have our first real conversation with each other
But we all have to do one word at a time
God, I hate this game. Let's try one word one word
And we're not trying to get each other out or or can I can I bad anybody up?
Can I just or suggest something? Yeah, how about if we create a movie?
We all do one sentence
Of the movie they all have to make sense
I just want to do what I want to do and you asked me what I want to do and that's what I want to do and that's what we're
going to do
So the reason you asked the question was because you wanted to say it
But you could say you could just say what you want. You don't have to manipulate people to tell you what they want
So you could change it
That's what I was talking about boundaries
Establish your own you will you will start to respect others. This is just a fucking podcast man
Right. No, it's not it is that it's not real life
There's no way that you either of you any of the four of you think this is just a podcast
Not only is this real life. This is a big part of your real life. You're here all the time
It's got it's got once a week one hour a day
One hour a day you're filming but he's working on it and you're selling tickets and you're doing other podcasts
And you're selling merch and you're doing comedy shows and it's and you're doing acting work
And it's all part of this career that you've built that is bigger than just
A thing that you turn off at night and I know that because the kid can't even sleep
Oh
Yeah, you got me. So this isn't just a podcast by the game go
I am
So excited to
read
that poem
you
I don't think you may have forgot something. We're not just saying coming up with a sentence free association
I'm saying it's actually a conversation that we would have with each other. So like for example, if it was I'm so glad
I'm podcasting
All get to god. All right. He fucked me up with poem. Sorry about that. My bad. I fucked out with poem
All right
So I
Really enjoy you
Having me on
today
when
I
Saw that rick
Was coming
I
Excitedly
felt like
I
Might come
to
The realization
that
ricks gonna
come
to a
It's only one right word here
Realization that he
Might never go and
finish the
Sentence
Okay, so you might never finish your sentence. Maybe this is was not the right game
I think my game better. I think my game is better. We're trying my game. He's playing it to me differently
So we're we're creating
I'll explain it to you. Thank you. Imagine this, right? You have my attention
I'm rick strudel. How good I am at basketball. I'm rick strudel. I'm the new head of development at paramount
Oh, oh rick strudel. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm you know movies have been, you know, we're just doing remakes and
You know, we have all these ip's. We're just doing it and I want to create something new
So I'm gonna I brought the three best writers in hollywood together
And what we're gonna do is
I'm pretty good writer too as rick strudel
Um, okay. Um, okay rick. I know I just no, I bet they have a job like this
I bet you're great, but you wanted the three of us because we work together
Well, did you both? Well, I know you guys don't know each other, but oh you're gonna be rick strudel whole time
We're the only person playing the game and you're rick strudel, but I'm playing the game too because I'm a writer too
Okay
So we're writing something together as opposed to pitching something. Yeah, I'm trying a new experiment great
Well, you see a line of a movie. I'll say the next line and then we'll try to come right not of the same movie
Right. So we're basically just doing dialogue from a movie until we come up now. No not a dialogue. Um, whatever the treatment of it
Great. So we're reading we're writing a script together
Gotcha, but no dialogue. Also, mr.
I'm just curious. How is it that you found out about us?
Well, I love your um your script the movie that you wrote. Which one did you read higher gains?
Thank you. Yeah, I mean with armory with jack armory and the rock and it's about how they are bodybuilders
Yeah, it's a prequel to the one with mark wallberg lower game. Yeah, right
No
And I like your your tv show island times
Well, we co-wrote both. Oh, that's right. I read on imdb. I'm times island times because we're writers together. All right. Yeah, yeah
All right. Yeah, well, why don't you tell me about your island times real quick?
Well, you know, what's it? What's the backstory?
Well, there was this mythical man a prophet named father troopa and he walked around with a parrot on his right anyway
Let's do the movie now. Okay
Oh
Do you want to start
Oh, yeah, would you like me let's do
Wait in a galaxy. Oh in a new not so distant future
I can I opt out of this why she doesn't know script structure. I don't
Yeah, is the genre not your thing? I don't like galaxy
Okay
Don't don't take that to abc's disney because I already know he's gonna go with some star trekkie thing
That's what he's gonna pull from and I'm Rick strudel is may I make an observation? Yeah
You know earlier you and I connected that
When we have our own ideas bobby comes in and tries to change them
But here is bobby's opportunity for us to play in his idea right and already you've shot him down
Right in the galaxy. It's okay. I'll do a different genre. Wow bobby. You handle that so well
In 1968 in a galaxy
Yeah
In 1968 in a galaxy
dear
Tony's planet
You were thinking the 15 I was gonna do it's a shot because I was gonna do a mafia thing
Right, but then you threw in galaxies. So I try to incorporate the two. I'm so fucking brain dead. You guys. All right. Let's wrap it
Anyway, thank you so much. Thank you guys so much. All right, Rick. Can I stay in practice?
Like I've never done a solo and I want to start doing solo podcast
My patreon. What do you mean solo just by yourself? Yeah, I'm gonna start doing solo podcast for patreon
And I think maybe like this could be my commercial
Can I do a commercial for my patreon where you guys could get out of here and I'm just gonna do a solo pod
Um, and maybe could you be my producer for the solo pod? Um, let's talk topics
Let's bring up the news go to cnn.com. I was reading the news recently, which is something that uh, believe me
I don't do much
But I've been trying to get a better idea of what's been going on in the world
And uh, there's something crazy recently happened. Did you hear about this department of justice?
Uh, subpoenaed more than 30 people
Yeah, so the january section
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