TigerBelly - Ep 382: T.J. Miller is Your Yakuza Brother

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

We have actor and comedian TJ Miller (Silicon Valley, Deadpool) back on for his 2nd appearance!Bobby is the feral elf. TJ is the Paul Newman of comedy. Khalyla loves the horny oldies. Gi...lbert's catchphrase is "aaahh". We talk finger shortening, ghost pepper ghosts, TJ's brain removal, and hibernating in an asshole. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at www.betterhelp.com/belly and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today You're any chips. No, I just I just don't eat I've never eaten chips when it's brought to my house by somebody else Like I'll go to the store and buy chips and buy them and eat them you have chips I can grab you some chips. You need chips. Yes. Well, wait, wait So put lean back put the mic. We'll talk put the mic on the headphones Yeah, I Just need you to explain this to me. I'm so excited. I'm more excited here with you guys and more excited that you're here
Starting point is 00:00:42 Listen bud listen you come in here with a bag And it's funny. I try to make it look like a gift bag instead of just bring a plastic bag like a homeless individual Yeah, yeah, and this bag but just fell apart Just came apart completely. So it looks even more homeless. Yeah, looks like kind of a crazy person It's like I'm not gonna let go my good bad. Yeah, it's why you keep my other bags Well, that bag looks like it's from the 1980s The one with the silver ball. Okay. What is that? Do you guys like peanut butter? Wait? Wait, it's TJ Miller peanut butter TJ PB&J peanut better
Starting point is 00:01:19 Oh, come on, dude. What the fuck are you laughing at? Yeah, yeah, China man. Listen Hey, China don't fucking laugh called a Chinese He's not even Chinese What let me ask you something. I'm a jiffy guy No, this is way different. This is much better. It's a different thing. So this is dark chocolate and coconut Ladies love that And then I have is there CBD in it or anything like that. No, man, everything you have to be about weed What are you so angry about? I mean, I put a little bit of flour in mine when I eat it. Yeah
Starting point is 00:01:55 Yeah, well, it doesn't work if you just put flour and cherry chocolate move on. That's another let me see the packaging honey roasted Peanuts real dry cherries and cherry chocolate peanut butter. Holy moly and then my favorite Yeah, it's toffee crispy Toffee toffee, right? I love toffee. Do you that's my favorite? So this is toffee rice Krispies and milk chocolate. Whoa. So that's why I said spoons. I said you guys can try it Well, I have a finger Don't brag Bobby Oh, you're right and now there are people born without fingers and that's crazy that I would say something like that exactly
Starting point is 00:02:37 I don't know Chinese people some of them Yakuza does some some yakuza don't have fingers. That's exactly right I get chopped off right weird to watch them eat if there was a yakuza guy in here watch the meat They have to put the chopsticks in right, but it was digging it But if I there was a yakuza guy in here and I said that joke he would be like, well, you're talking Yeah, right and he would do this and I'd be like all my bad or this oh I'd be lost all of you think a guy is so into yakuza Yeah, right that he now has just nubs. Yeah, that's what I was saying. It's fun
Starting point is 00:03:09 It's weird to watch the meat right you and I were just talking about this We live like do they have a protocol for which finger they take out? I think it's the I think it's a marriage It has to be they also thumb. How do you get your most? How do you get the first step is probably just like the ring finger something like that But if you if you get in trouble ten times Oh, but I don't think it's just that let's teach teach teach and then they put the I told her they put the chopsticks in the two little holes They try and scoop them together teach each. Let me say it's just weird to watch them
Starting point is 00:03:44 But yeah, I know but I know but the yakuza. I don't think that they get rid of the finger because of punishment I think it's an initiation thing So I think somebody that would lose five fingers ten fingers would be a guy who left the organization and want to come back Like I quit yeah, six months later. I want to come back another finger. Really? Yeah, don't you think I did that ten times? Exactly, right, and I don't want to be rude, but you're pronouncing it wrong. What is it cousin? Your cousin. It's your cousin. Your cousin. I didn't know But check this out if you lose the five ten fingers, right? Yeah, but if you had Wolverine's ability, you're good. You're good Yeah, I've you thought about that. Yeah, I also thought if you have a second set of arms
Starting point is 00:04:35 Or if you have if or if you have no fingers, but you have a little guy that's on your back That's right Yeah, like that that those two characters from Mad Max. What's it called? It's like Yeah, yeah, like a quanta quasar quasar quasar quasar quasar something. Yeah. Oh, what's going on over there? I'm coffee delivery. Yeah Is if that if I was a big Japanese dude, right and I left the Daya Cousa ten times I love intending right. Yeah, and then the little guy above me that guy, right?
Starting point is 00:05:17 He never left so he still has his fingers. He says, right? Okay, so he does all the but if you leave This is if you leave ten more times. They're taking the tiny fingers Well taking those no, but in note in that rule the teenies ten tiny fingers is worth three regular fingers You think yeah, yeah, because they're so small. That's the math. That's the math Yeah, if you're a dwarf yakuza guy, right? What's do they take three? They must take three fingers because it's not a full thing. They can't because there's dwarfs. They give them a lot of leeway Because oh, right. Yeah, because they attack at a lower level and oh
Starting point is 00:05:55 That'd be fun to be attacked by the knees dwarf yakuza now when they come with those knees They make the noises as oh they have swords and they pull out it like a kitchen knife. Yeah Oh That's a bronce like a butter knife. Yeah, it's still heavy. I like how you can make fun of dwarves What is it because I'm small no, it's because you're incredibly empathetic. Oh, that's true. Thank you People know that you're not you know really teasing them. You feel their pain Especially if they're getting their teeny tiny fingers cut off, right? Did you ever wonder that were you ever like am I gonna get any taller than this? Yeah? Oh?
Starting point is 00:06:40 Yeah, I did like recently Oh, that's funny teach that's what I thought it was. Yeah, it is funny. Okay. Yeah, you know I'll be honest with you when I was a kid we went to a music part our school And I was scared that I wasn't be able to ride the rides and all my friends would be able to Oh, really? I got on. I thought you were gonna hug him but you were just really cute. Yeah. Yeah. She said change your seat But I think I did this. Pick the wedgie. You know the thing that at the music part of the little line I think I did a little I do a little bit of that. Yeah, and I got on but then I almost fell out of the thing because That would have been really ironic if you just flew out of there
Starting point is 00:07:20 Because I lied. Yeah, and all your friends are like well we never made fun of him But he did die that Do you guys like hot sauce? Oh my god, you have hot sauce too hot sauce I have hot sauce also this all on Amazon bring it up and see if it's on Amazon So this is the tg Miller you're doing what what's this man? What's the actor and I brought I remembered that there were three people and And so you'd both neither of you get anything And also because you're a Chinese
Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah, Paul Newman. I got you on you're doing Paul Newman did I want to be the Paul Newman of comedy. Oh Yeah, yeah, I want to do for hot sauce and peanut butter. You have this you have you have the skills But you don't have the looks maybe To do healthy stuff. No, Paul Newman is very handsome. I know and I'm not so I do unhealthy stuff and he did healthy organic stuff Oh, that's true. Yeah much more. Do you want me to berate myself? Why don't you just take one of my tiny sausage fingers? So yeah, that's why I was saying do you have any chips because I thought we could try these but I've yet Oh, hey, I have extreme gangster heat look at it. It's up there. It took forever
Starting point is 00:08:33 That's amazing and then the really hot one for the pepper heads is fucking intense ghost pepper type shit Oh, it's all wow. Let's all do that. Yeah, can I ask you something about the process of making the peanut butter and this hot sauce? So the hot sauce is really interesting. I went and I did a mucinex You know the other one I went I did a mucinex Recording but I had to do it in the middle of Indiana cuz I was at my mother-in-law's house next like the medication Yeah, so I used to be the booger the talking mucinex. Oh, okay. Oh, that's right. They're a good job. Oh Oh, yeah, I mean it turns out boogers man. You're the best. Hey, thank you, Bobby. Yeah, I love the yakuza of peanut butter Yeah, and so I went and I did a voice recording for that and there was like they found me
Starting point is 00:09:23 Because with a VO you can do it anywhere So they found me an audio engineer in the middle of Indiana and Zion Indiana And I went and I did the the recording and he was cracking up. He thought it was so fun And afterwards he said do you like hot sauce and I said, yeah, he goes I actually have a pepper farm and I make hot sauce so he showed me around the farm was really interesting He was the greatest guy So we kind of kept in touch and he would send me new hot sauce that he was working on And then one day he said would you ever want to collaborate on a hot sauce and I was like fuck. Yeah, that's amazing
Starting point is 00:09:54 I didn't even think of that and so we went back and forth and we just worked out what the three flavors were that I thought You know people to enjoy and also what I like Mmm, and then I was making the hot sauce. I've been selling that. That's my merch. I've been selling that for a long time and then One day I was you know, I would love to do peanut butter and Dustin Chaffin who's this really funny comic Who used to run clubs in New York and he's a really really funny guy? He he's a great gift giver. You guys have a friend who's like so good at giving gifts Like better than you do you ever if you ever had a gift visit anybody ever given you a gift not good ones No, what about call it? He's the only one. She's the only one. She's the only one, but everyone else give her garbage
Starting point is 00:10:37 But thank you for your effort. That's pretty weird to give somebody a gift and haven't be like no, I've never received a good gift No one is a good gift giver if anyone in this room. He gets the most gifts from everybody. Yeah, who me. Yeah, do I get good? Good good good gifts. You give expensive gifts. That's good like iPads iPads are your dude. I give iPads That's the best gift and also unless you already have an iPad It's the worst gift. No, it's not because you already have one It doesn't matter wait But you're also your Twitter got hacked and there's someone that's hacking your Twitter giving away iPads But getting people's information and scanning them
Starting point is 00:11:17 Is that true? Yeah, people believed that it was actually you giving away iPads Cause you actually give away iPads. Oh fuck. Oh no, it's a disaster. Are you fucking kidding me? And then we find out that he was the one who hacked his Twitter Wow, okay, so you were never hacked that is really you. It's not it's not what Why aren't you using an iPad? What is this? Chips and spoons. Yeah, but those chips are old. No, they're good. No, they've been out there I I've been these chips are good. I just had them. I've been observing them for the last six months Gilbert Gilbert will taste the chips. He'll let you know
Starting point is 00:11:56 Well, you're gonna put peanut butter on chips. No hot. Oh my bad. I get angry I apologize. I get angry Can we do the intro first and then we'll go back to hot sauce or no? Sure. I mean, it's my show our show I mean, I don't know. So why are you asking? Okay? He really really just said his show It is a show. No, I don't think so All right, when I watch on my iPad, which I already have Called a have pad my I had yeah, yeah, I put a little piece of paper over the area of the screen where he
Starting point is 00:12:32 Tape it on there. I Used to put white out all over the screen where he was Somebody called right now. Oh, wow ruining the iPads. Hmm. I just know one's ever given me a good gift Yeah, I don't even know where to buy whiteout Staples the people still use whiteout. I don't know what aside from you when you're watching Tiger Valley But you use whiteout because you're using a pen and then you fuck up on the word whatever word it is Yeah, exactly, but people don't use pens that much. So I think you're right. Yeah, please be a joke How do you know a blonde's been using the computer because there's white out all over the screen?
Starting point is 00:13:08 That's such a funny joke. That's a great joke So dumb Anyway, let's just begin. Yeah, it's to count down Five four three two and welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I'm your Uh co-host captain the captain of a co-host. I'm Jean-Luc Picard main host your second command first What second? Yeah, you're first. I'm Zeus. Thank you. And then we've got everyone in the room We've got bunch of age and then we got a white because age Basha age. Yeah, I refuse to go complete
Starting point is 00:13:56 In 2023 true, I will never say age in completion. Yeah, they'll be woke. What that's woke I want to create a new thing. I did a terrible thing recently. What I Was in the car and we had to take a u-turn I was kind of feeling the 90s slang vibe and so he said, oh, just go ahead and flip a bitch Do you guys remember that? Yeah, I still use it. What do you tell me? What does it even mean? I mean, I know it's a u-turn. Yeah, it's just flipping me But then I was with said, you know, you can't say that anymore. I was like, it's right. It's 2023 So now I say go ahead and flip a day
Starting point is 00:14:30 Yeah, that's true, but do you know what flip it bitches? It's when when you're with a bitch, yeah, right and you're doing missionary and you go flip over. Is that true girl? Can you? That's true, then I do it in the ass Sweet that you would ask to for her to flip over and you and flip her over yourself because you don't want to burn the calories But here is here's what it means. Yeah. Yeah flipping a bitch is making an eagle u-turn What's the but no, but what's the I just often times resulting in your passengers freaking out or shitting their pants Yeah, I love that freaking out as a hyperlink
Starting point is 00:15:12 Like in so is you turn it's like, okay, here's flipping it flipping a bitch is making an illegal. What is that? Yeah, I guess I'll click on it later usually done in the middle of a street or double line oftentimes resulting your passengers freaking out What does that mean illegal as misspelled to and look at the Demonstration through it. She flipped the bitch. I almost shit my pants. Yeah, that's I've never shit my pants after a u-turn I Have after your u-turns you go over islands. Oh, that's true. He does median my bad my bad median hopping It's just a pass. Can I ask another question? Oh, let's do the beginning I didn't even introduce people no age. You got about age in the room
Starting point is 00:15:50 We got whites, right and we got King white right here. Ooh, TJ Miller King He's he's in he's so good in the Deadpool movies a bunch of other movies. He's a great stand out one of the best Thank you. He's also my longtime friend of mine He has a new special that he that he's coming out your Jonah. It's on it's on YouTube right now, right? It is great. Yeah, and now he has TPB and J the the peanut butter yeah hot sauce. Yep. Yeah, and Give him a round of applause. Whoo. Yeah Thank you guys. Thanks for having me and I also my favorite
Starting point is 00:16:24 I also made fun of you that you didn't look as good as Paul Moomin you don't but in terms of the comic in terms of a stand-up You're pretty good looking and I'm better than Paul Newman in the stand-up world. Yeah, yes. Oh That's well. He was pretty good back in the day. He did some open mics. Did he yeah? Yeah, he used to kill Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's always felt real with him. It's always organic, right? You know, yeah, and you get a lot of ass after the fucking show. Do you think so when he flipped the bitch or just leave it? No, he really was in love and you stayed with the same woman and he loved her and he would squeeze her ass even in the older It at all really yeah, I love horny oldies, but he loved I love oldies You love horny old one more time. I love the HOS the horny oldies
Starting point is 00:17:10 the only I Would love to be a really like just vulgar horny grandma and terrorize my grandkids with like sex stories and things like that That's my goal and then they gonna be able to do that. Yeah, what if one of your grandkids get a woody? No, I mean he just Right that's going straight upward Just pointing yourself All the way up like that well to the sky. Yeah, no, it's not a hovercraft or anything No, it's just it's the worst when you it's up. It goes into your eyes
Starting point is 00:17:46 Yeah, yeah, can I ask you something from from being small to hard? How long do you think that takes you if you're super zero to sixty if you're super twenty two minutes Well bill, baby Well, what'll happen is He'll kind of leave the room and right emails and stuff and she'll come back a load of laundry come back. Yeah Yeah, I see I see you gotta you gotta come back. Yeah, go just walk around the block Does it does it sometimes not go complete and just stuck it in mid? Yeah Yeah, you kind of jam the rest of it in there. Yeah, I mean yeah, I've ever done that where you jammed
Starting point is 00:18:26 The that's kind of putting a al dente noodle And do a coffee Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've done that. I've done that. Yeah This show is sponsored by better help when you're at your best you can do great things But sometimes life gets you bogged down and you may feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up in the way You want to and you know what guys, you know during the pandemic and even now I do therapy through better help It's really works. Okay guys It's like it's if you think about giving therapy a try better help is a great option
Starting point is 00:19:04 It's convenient flexible affordable and entirely online Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge You know the because when you feel empowered guys, you're more prepared to take on everything life throws at you And it's like just you know, we're all human beings and we carry around all this weight Sometimes some of us career on trauma and you just you know, you need to talk to somebody and this is the best way to do it And working with a therapist can help you get closer to that best version of you If you want to live a more empowered life there, we can get you there visit better help comm slash belly today to get 10% off Your first month. That's better hlp.com slash belly. Once again, that's better help hlp.com slash belly
Starting point is 00:19:49 So it's so 22 minutes because you have yeah, mine goes I think I counted 45 seconds Wow, you counted for real. Yeah Yeah, and I think the counting fucked up the hard because when you're counting and also trying to get a horny It kind of messes with your the vibe. Yeah. Yeah, you go one two. Oh, it's out loud. It's going down five Yeah, I think numbers are so you think I have a stop watch or I thought you're out of your house faster Oh, when I'm kind of goes faster because I think numbers are so hot You'd really you know, I like about this podcast you get to do jokes twice Once yeah, and everybody laughs but Bobby's still talking and then you just wait Don't interrupt him. You just wait and then when he's calmed down
Starting point is 00:20:39 Then you get to do the joke a second time And he enjoys it. Everybody's like we've heard that we all enjoy watching Bobby laugh. Yeah There's a lot of enjoyment and a lot of happiness. It's a lot of joy I love joy and I love having fun. I love your stickers. Thank you. Can I ask you a question? How did you audition for the mission X or did you muse next? That's how they pronounce in France. That's good use in X sure What's what was the booger? Hey, what's going on? You're right. Are you are you offended? I'm getting a forward. No, what I'm saying is that for
Starting point is 00:21:15 I'm seeing I'm seeing Bobby sees on the edge of a seat to do the voice over for the mission X That the little booger guy, right was your competition. Did you have to audition or did you just do offer only they offered it to me? But how do you know that you're the best at the booger voice? I've swear to God when I went in there and talking to him and they were laughing everything And I was like, did you guys choose me because I always sound sick and they started laughing really hard? Yeah, I said, yeah, actually, yeah, they didn't think that I would guess that My voice is incredibly recognizable It's probably more famous than I am and then I do kind of sound like I'm getting over a cold all the time
Starting point is 00:21:48 Oh, I sound like a drag queen after chain smoking and a hard night Tearing it up at the club. Yeah That's good to note. You just got offer only. Yeah, so they came. Yeah, and so they did that. It was great I mean, it's a great job because I got to do a lot of the jokes Yeah, I would totally improvise all the time. It's for is really fun Now they kind of now they don't use the voice really because they I think I hired someone else and he did badly And so then so they got really because I haven't seen that character in a while. Yeah Yeah, I'm kind of died with me. What do you have VO aspirate? I would love to be a booger
Starting point is 00:22:24 I'd like to be booger. I'd like to be you have a great voice. He does. You do really do it I think so when your voice you that's a weird compliment when I first talked to him on the phone I was like, oh this he sounds so attractive Thank you, and then you meet me. You're like no It adds to the whole package. Oh my god. I got you up and down 45 seconds Yeah, I'm so good what like I started before I came in I was like, oh my god, what's so horny for the show? I'm such a horny oldie another callback and then I started going up and all back city. Yeah, that's all I love it Wait on every joke that I've made so far in my life. Yeah, they're all callbacks
Starting point is 00:23:09 How about this? I made all of these jokes. Yeah, I was in like sixth grade seventh grade Yeah grade over the course of three years then every joke that I make is a callback to one of those jokes Here's a new challenge. It's incredibly complicated. Here's a new challenge. Okay from now on we can't do new jokes Every joke that we do from now on is a callback It sounds terrible Let's give it a shot. You know, I mean, okay I have well, it's not a callback. Yeah, I have information about horny horny oldies and that they have like a really big problem with STD's and the geriatric
Starting point is 00:23:41 Population because I think that they're just like all raw dogging each other Oh, so they don't give a shit at that point. You're not like I'm gonna hold out for the perfect lady It's just like what's happening over there. Is that open? Yeah. Yeah room. Is that open? That thing because I'm going in. Yeah, I'll dante. I'll dante. Oh, that's great. Yes. Yes Callback city. That's great. I'll dante. I'll dante dude. I love it I feel like you know how to pronounce everything. It's just you don't feel like it's that No, it doesn't matter because everybody knows No, but the reason why I do is because I flip a bitch
Starting point is 00:24:20 All the time with your mind, you know, it's okay if they call back It doesn't have to make sense A yakuza finger, yeah Yakuza, yeah, that's Yakuza. I just repeated the things we said before it doesn't mean it's like my peanut butter All right, stop, we don't do it. It's not it's tough that part. It was tough What I did start my bad My bad for just really quick callback. This is your what you put on your Twitter, dude I'm I can't get my fucking Twitter back. Oh, is it still yeah, I can't get it back. It's been three months now
Starting point is 00:25:04 I've completely let it go. You just let it go. I know I fired companies. They know we can get it back I don't know what to do. You tell fans to stop buying because people have stopped buying that and also I texted less free Lex Friedman I texted and he goes well. He goes Buddy, I I don't know Elon that well or something right and I go And I go I go well, you're the only one that I know that knows him directly. Yeah, what about Joe Rogan? I could do Rogan. I'm afraid though I'm afraid I don't want because because the Lex Friedman thing hurt me Yeah, because I thought I had connections. I go check this out and he wouldn't help me check this and so I'm like
Starting point is 00:25:40 Oh, if he can't help me then no one can so I just let him even think of that because they fired a bunch of people, right? So there's all these people that had connections to Twitter that could deal with the blue checks and hacks and stuff and those people are all gone They're gone. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know who to call. I don't know what to do. He killed them. I Thought that was a leak. I mean, I guess well, we were in certain circumstances. You think Elon certain people I don't think so I know so Well, no one will believe me because I was the only we're watching as he killed each of them Using a ray. Yeah, but there's a new. Do you know what I mean a ray? What he used a satellite ray? I
Starting point is 00:26:18 Mean, I don't know where the fucking came from at first. I thought it was coming from his eyes Well, it was like that makes sense. Then he walked away and the ray kept going It was a fucked up afternoon. Oh, it was a guy named Ray. Yeah Yeah, so he has that kind of shit. Yeah, you know, somebody told me yesterday that I see that was a callback That ray thing because I used to make fun of this guy Ray and there's another kid him Elon in sixth grade So I was just calling back to that Isn't that great? That's the best thing. Yeah, I don't even remember you don't remember. Well, you were in sixth grade with me. Yeah, you were in sixth grade with me
Starting point is 00:26:57 Oh, that's right. That's why it wouldn't like Reason I'm so sorry a couple of I went back. I went back in my mind And I couldn't recall you drew and I and we lived in a completely different area. We did in a different era my bad My bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we can always what get together and yeah Yeah, can I ask you this so because I was just something I wanted to ask five minutes ago before the callback stuff Okay, is is that based on my voice? What what character could you think I could because they you know, they base, you know, they the bogey They're like TJ Miller. So what would I be with my voice? Oh, I have one go ahead
Starting point is 00:27:36 It's part of my billion-dollar idea that I don't want to give away. Well, then don't even bring it up Oh, that's great. Yeah, I had one also, but it's part of my million-dollar idea, and I don't want to give that away Yeah, does anyone have an idea from like a thousand dollars? Yeah, I think you could be the announcer for Gilbert. What would I hip-hop what? Yeah? Oh Would you say no star of hip-hop I'll call back to it call my time right now a star of hip-hop you said Yeah, this star of it. I think you got the kind of voice where you could be the star Thank that sounds like something a guy would say to an impressionable person in Los Angeles to try and have sex with them Like pick up the girl a guy is like, you know what you've got a great voice. I think you could be the star of hip
Starting point is 00:28:23 My god, are you serious really of the whole hip-hop? Oh, yeah, come with me. I'll take you to dinner We'll talk it. I got it. Well, what is it be the voice of his peanut butter brand? Oh As peanut butter, you're gonna play a no as my I'm gonna play a peanut So we try to try the back of the back of the peanut butter. I think I'm gonna come up with a note No English just no Because I'm just I'm turning on body and if that doesn't work, you get ghost pepper for the hot sauce No, I'm cuz I'm trying to find the boy Try go lower good
Starting point is 00:29:06 I can't do I can't do that Oh River with griffin a chair. I'm a peanut. I'm a peanut and when you grind me down make me into make me into peanut butter And you make some cherry chocolate God darn it. I'm TV TV NJ peanut butter, baby What's up? You can also you can also read the back of the Oh, there's a letter. I'm not sure. Oh, I hire him to just explain imagine That was both everything you needed at all at once. Oh, the peanut butter
Starting point is 00:30:11 I'm listening. I had real food Anyway Any notes to yeah, don't do that Oh, what just don't I'm fired. No, you never were. Oh Really that was like the audition. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's bad. Oh weird. I took the chair. It was One point the animated peanut was describing how you make peanut butter using You crush me And you mix me up with chair. I don't know the process of eating peanut butter. That's why I made it up
Starting point is 00:30:51 Oh, do you do not crush it? Do you eat peanut butter? You do. I love peanut butter. You should try some I will I fucking will but you know what? I don't want like people telling me to do it right now I'll do it one on my own time. I understand I'll do it now Here's a spoon. Yes, I'd rather you didn't know I'll use my uh Like which one's the flavor? Oh, yeah Because I'm not a part of it. Well, you smell test
Starting point is 00:31:18 You know what peanut butter that's what it smells like Yes, I'm doing something right right because if it smelled like caviar, you know what it smells like that Why because the peanut take a cell phone grind it down And I make a peanut out of self You know, I'm gonna let that go Whatever you did that. Yeah, cuz you're shaming me. We know It's just a version of what you did. Yeah, so I'm gonna what is this little black chunk in here So that's milk chocolate. So it has milk chocolate real dried cherries and honey roasted peanuts all in this little
Starting point is 00:31:55 Nugget no Not at all. That's fucking great. It's amazing because you put cherries and peanut and everything in all of it goes in there But it doesn't but it's not in this it is not He just ate a chocolate chip That was a cherry that was a cherry see if you dig around and find a little chocolate. All right. Yeah, those are the red ones deconstruct it What's this? Best product this is going so poor Dude, it's so good. You know what I like about it. Try you should try an extra chunky
Starting point is 00:32:38 It is a chunk of peanut butter. I was really trying Right here get a good spoon film. All right. The spoon was there the whole time I'm gonna use my fucking finger. I will say this is delicious. You would think it would burn your mouth But there's flavor because it's not a gimmick and here's the thing ghost pepper. It's always just used to be hot sweet And ghost peppers are really good pepper Can you see a ghost pepper? Hmm. What do you think? And this is delicious great right and you'll eat it right out there in the dark chocolate coconut It's great, too. That's dark chocolate. And then you said you liked coffee. Oh, I'm wearing the middle something
Starting point is 00:33:15 But I did like your ghost joke No, because I really thought about it like this was the one a pepper dies Becomes a ghost pepper. How do you capture it? Oh, how do you capture it? That is funny ghost pepper? I mean, that's a different level of fucking science there, dude What do you call a ghost pepper that would be on those Christmas crackers Yeah, but yeah, but why do they call it that a ghost pepper? Yeah, it's a dead pepper, man You found it out. Oh, right People turns them into those
Starting point is 00:33:49 Probably I don't know why but it's really good, right? It's very good and the chipotle one's great, too Better than the Tabasco chipotle. What's that one? Yeah? I don't like that one. I open an extreme gangster. He does better than Coconut it's not as That one right So good is what I'm saying and so people are kind of like oh He got his own peanut butter or something and it's it's the best peanut butter of all the peanut butter And I really think that and saying ghost pepper. That's one of the best. Yeah, this is all three of the hot sauces are great Get on hot one. Look at you
Starting point is 00:34:20 Taking a full bite. Look at you. That's a good peanut butter, dude. It's amazing. It's fucking amazing really chunking. It's on Amazon Mm-hmm That's really chunky. It's great It's like more glow no law and you'll like the hot sauce. I think also really yeah The toffee is the best in my opinion, but I think you like that because you like hot sauce, right? Of course, I do. Yeah, so I think you'll like it. Do you go hot hot? I'm gonna pass on that right now. Okay, okay, but I will I promise No, I'm gonna because I love getting tacos and I'm gonna use that. Thank you for these. These are delicious
Starting point is 00:34:52 Thank you so much. You're great, right? And I got some for you also. Mm-hmm. Give me a package I brought three to one of those for you. I see two right here. No, they're all over here Okay So everybody well not everybody coffee crispy That's really good. Thanks, man, I think you could play sort of a Like a shitty executive in an animated show Okay, you can kind of a young tech executive. Yeah, well, I will give me a line. Maybe I can try I Want everybody out of my I want everybody out of them. I want everybody out of the room so I can count as
Starting point is 00:35:30 To how long it takes for me to be fully hard Okay, let's move on. Yeah, let's move on the lines too many lines or was it too much? I couldn't remember it Yeah, I like to count how long until my dicks up Try that. I like to count to have them in my dicks. What I Think you know what I realized I realized that I was talking about your actual voice Yeah, but you're kind of asking us what will work for you. We're just trying to talk about this That's the case. Yeah, that's from South Park. All right. Oh, that's it then So, you know, it's how often you touring right now. None. No, you're about to go last three years
Starting point is 00:36:10 I haven't toured one time. Is that true? Yeah Really? Well, no, he's you've had a couple nights here in there like the Irvine in Prov and stuff. Yeah, but they were like French Oh, yeah, you do that friendship on there, but I know I'm gonna do a tour with Andrew starting in March And we're doing like almost 30 cities. Whoa, we're doing theater a theater run So that's the first time I'm gonna be out, but that's fine. I haven't been out. I mean, I know you tour a lot Yeah, yeah all the time. Do you like it or no? Yeah, I love it. It's amazing But do you prefer that over just the Hollywood shit or no? I think it's I think oh well Yes, absolutely, but I think it's the thing of like, you know, it's fun to do both like I'm working on a Christmas movie right now
Starting point is 00:36:53 Oh, cool. And That's really fun because I'm writing it with my buddy and it's like a vehicle for me It was so funny when I pitched it we pitched it to the Russo brothers and to Michael Bay and at the end of the pitch I was so excited about this. I said and if you're concerned About me starring in a Christmas movie as Santa Claus Okay, and look no further on my resume to when I starred in a Christmas movie as Santa Claus Because I've already done a movie. Yeah, I'm like the only person except for Tim Allen that can be like, let me show you something Right. You already have footage. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I could play Elf
Starting point is 00:37:33 You really could the elves aren't too Prominent in this particular film, but that might be better because then it's less of you Yeah, but are they gonna be on it? What are they gonna have shots with them? Yeah, of course. Yes. I don't want lines Okay, I could be like I don't know if yeah, I don't have to be principal. I love that I could be like a background. It'd be fun background I imagine I imagine like a wide shot a bunch of elves and you just see me like from far away just working working on something Just tinkering. Yeah, you could play you could play one of the elves one of the elves name is tinker toy And all he does that would run around and try and gnaw on things. Are you being real because he's a feral elf. Yeah
Starting point is 00:38:14 Oh, can I try right? He's a feral elf. Yeah That's it gnaw on this. Yeah, go for it. Go get her arm. Get her tinker toy. Get it. Yeah, I have tinker toy You gotta grind me What I can only do one voice. It's amazing you can only do one voice because you're using your regular voice I'm you know, I used to work for Joel and Anthony Russo. Oh really good guys. Yeah, what did you I was on a sitcom that they did once What was it animal practice? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Yes, and then um, yeah, I love those guys. Yeah, they're great And I they asked me in my first, um Yeah, they cast me in my first show because it's called carpoolers. That was the first thing I ever did
Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah, because they were first tv tv people community Yeah, rest of development the rest of development and now they're um, dick the biggest Hollywood record started a studio No dollar studio called agbo. Really? It's pretty crazy. That's amazing for those guys. Yeah. Yeah, great guys and um I just remember like um when I was doing animal practice. I almost died and they were really concerned for my health Was it because the snake wrapped around my neck? Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, what did they do? They were about to cut the snake off What? What were they gonna do?
Starting point is 00:39:36 You think that if the snake was a boa constrictor was on that they're gonna slice it in half. Yeah No, they were to save your life. They're just like they're like you're okay And I was like I couldn't talk. See now. That's a great voice For tinkering. Yeah Yeah, a feral elf. No, you know what I am ghost pepper I saw the one that's so loved it ghost pepper, dude
Starting point is 00:40:05 That's red dead on right? It's dead ghost pepper dead on Oh my god, it's a goat pepper Oh No, not good. All right. I like this batter is feral elf tinkered toy. Oh, thank you. Thank you the demonic voice is good Okay, thank you. So um tige. So I think between that's really fun And then I think the touring it's it's I mean you've toured for a long time, but it's interesting to me I guess it's fun to not tour because I took december off and also during the pandemic. I had a great time with kate but then
Starting point is 00:40:39 Um when I was able to go back to touring I just love it so much. It's so great It's never not interesting to me But also and I think you do some of this but also I improvise so much So sometimes I go on stage and I'll only do like a couple of jokes and the rest of the time I'm doing crowd work or I'm talking about the city that I'm in or something that had to do that day And so because of that I'm never kind of bored with my material and now I'm shooting another special In march at the san diego the american comedy company. Everybody come check me out And uh, it's really uh
Starting point is 00:41:12 It's kind of hard for me to get up and do the same material every show Which is what I have to do to prepare for a special sure, but I shot um I shot dear jonah, which is now on youtube and then I shot um another completely different special three weeks later in tampa Wow called the philosophy circus because a fair amount of it is circus stuff And then this will be the third special that I shoot. I was just sitting on all this material During the pandemic and before I was like, I just needed to shoot these things and I found a great director who works for the ruse So brothers and I was able to shoot them really really inexpensively. And where are they being released youtube? Oh cool Yeah, I wouldn't that's the best way. I don't think you should put them on any place to for youtube from now on
Starting point is 00:41:58 Because you still make money from the youtube numbers, right? Yeah, but it's also you just want people to see it And they don't pay you anything for a netflix special or anything. You know anything? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just they rather not Pay you it's not like when I did an hbo special where they just had so much money and they were doing so few specials Yeah, and netflix came and kind of Said oh well, we can do a hundred specials. Yeah, that's kind of what they've done. Yeah, and so I I much prefer this on youtube Yes, you also get money But it's also just and my thing was and this is really important is a lot of people in america don't know that I do stand up So a lot of people come to my shows less now now more people know that I'm started as a stand-up comic and I'm a comic
Starting point is 00:42:38 It's so weird to think that because I've only known you as a stand-up over here. Isn't that crazy? well, and what's weird too is that I I've known you as a stand-up and But you're great in all the acting stuff that you do Um, so I know you as both of those things, but lots of people just think oh bobbily Yeah, I'm comic. Yeah, or they know you from just it. Yeah animal practice But some people now would only know me as a podcaster. I get like oh, you're a podcaster. You know, I mean no absolutely tiger belly Is one of the big and when people say to me like
Starting point is 00:43:06 What are you gonna be on this these podcasts? You're one of the ones you and sagura and all you know And so yeah, this is a huge huge show. Thank you so much for having me on any time You know your old life. We've been through some experiences together and I love you a lot man. We were in the yakuza together Call back Wait, look at me in the eyes and tell me we were in the yes. We were Yes, we were in the yakuza together. I love I love your nails And I want bobbily to have a look at them. You see how he has the tips just the tips color. Yeah, christmas That's how you should get him them because we get our nails done together, but he always I haven't got mine done
Starting point is 00:43:43 What do you do? Put colors on them. He just puts colors on them colors But I think the tip no it looks so that looks so 90s indie band You should do french tip and then I get the white usually and it's really cool Because people don't know that you have a manicure unless they look closely So you do a french tip french tip. I don't I just don't like the conversation started You know even when I get a different color there's always like oh, so you get your nails done That's why the french tip is great because nobody
Starting point is 00:44:12 Nobody knows until they like have looked at your nails a lot And this is the first time I did this for christmas because I'm writing the christmas movie So I got it done and then I was like I'm gonna keep them on for a little while to stay in the christmas spirit Because we're finishing the script on like Wednesday. So what happens when you're both fingerless yakuza? And you want your nails done good painter dicks Yeah, a french tip my yeah, I would probably do that. Hey just the tip just the tip Let me stick the tip in just the tip. Yeah, that's a weird thing with your finger To ask
Starting point is 00:44:47 When you think you're a girl you're just like just the tip You think any french, you know any if you think any guy that says I'm just gonna stick the tip in the only Stuck it in or do you think this is why I've always allowed guys to It's a trick just do the tip Yeah, and I hold them to it because all of for me all of my sensory my nerve The feelings the good sensation is in the beginning part of the vagina. I don't feel shit when it's way up there. Why not? I just nothing there. It's just the thing. It's just the back of me. It's no man's land It's just the back of me. It's just the back of me. It's the front of my back
Starting point is 00:45:21 That really is the furthest back in the vaginal cavity is the front of my back We got it guys. We did it. We did it now. That's a podcast But are you even like soaking? What's a soaky soaking is when you just stick it in but you just keep it in there It's very like Mormon and it's like docking right? It's soaking. No, but docking is when you put your penis against another penis Oh, my bad. No, it's our bad Yeah, yeah It's the two foreskins go over each other. He would know I would know I used to dock my own finger
Starting point is 00:45:56 When I was younger, well, how does that work? So the two foreskins Is it like oh, I know it's like an avatar where you when they when they connect with the navi It's the navi with the leaves and other animals that little thing that they have is that what docking is? Yeah, wow, but you do with penis. I will do with my can you exchange information like an avatar your eyes roll back Yes, okay. Good. That's cool. What a gift No, what a talent what a gift I mean if you could talk with somebody like, you know, you know, the Vulcans in Star Trek they can mind meld Yeah, right. So it's basically when you talk with another man that you see where it weren't circumcised
Starting point is 00:46:28 You can live their past. Yeah Wow, that's amazing That's cool. You can go all the way back to them not getting circumcised Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's interesting But let me ask you when you talk and let me yeah, this is a valid question. And if you come is that gay No, that's actually how you uh make Or can force can stick Oh, that's the adhesive. It's adhesive. Yeah, I didn't know I walk around with that
Starting point is 00:46:57 Right, it's an adhesive. It's yeah, it's gonna fall off. It's like the refried beans and the tacos and stuff When they make the double double double double dacro taco Yeah, the double dacro taco they use the refried beans as the adhesive but he's calm when you talk you talk Wow, the science. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not gay. But if you're erect, is it gay? You need to be erect Yeah, oh, so when you talk you have to be erect. It's almost gay if you're not erect. Oh, that's true. Unless you do a soak dog What's a soak dog? That's what you soak your dick in the dock Okay, well, well, yeah, I never Dock
Starting point is 00:47:29 Sock, yeah I love it. I love whatever he goes He doesn't really know he just does that to get move on. No cg. That is that one your catchphrase on the show Oh for sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Take catchphrase. Oh That's a pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. Can you talk in a butthole? That's just fucking an ass Yeah, no, can you soak in a butthole? You can soak in it. All soaking is is that you have to resist the urge to pump So you're just putting it in and then not moving. Yes If I soak in another man's butthole and I don't pump, is that gay? It's not gay. It's not gay. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:48:07 You're resting. I'm resting. That's right. Right. Long journey. Hybernating like a bear. Oh, yeah It's true. It's not gay. You're just taking a rest inside of an asshole Oh That would be great. That would be a pickup line. Excuse me buddy. Can I rest in your ass? It's winter. It's winter. It's winter. Right. Hey winter is coming. Winter is coming. Hybernate your ass. Yeah, hybernate And if you did it for six months, then it would be probably true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but that'd be weird to walk around. Anyway, um So anyway, yeah, so I like doing stand up probably more than you Do and now you're never going to come back to LA
Starting point is 00:48:50 I know I definitely won't ever live in Los Angeles, but I have an apartment here. That's just amazing You guys should come over for dinner sometime really do we have this incredible view It's right behind the Hollywood Bowl and you take uh an elevator up an outdoor elevator Wow, it's amazing and it four stories up. It's a private keyed elevator and you and you bought that place No, we only rent you're renting it. Yeah, so you have no properties in LA that you own. No, okay No, and I just hate it here Like I like it when this happened and I actually kind of like it now that I don't live here Because I don't have to sort of take like deal with it every day. Yeah, but when I lived here
Starting point is 00:49:27 I just absolutely hated it and a big part of that is the stand up You can't do any stand up and even I'm I'm pasted all the places where one could do stand up And it's just in New York City on a Wednesday or something. I'll do five shows You know, I can't do that here. My record is eight in New York. Wow eight shows in one night But oh my god, and that's low you can do 10 12 But when I was in New York a couple of months ago, I did five shows in two nights, which is a lot That's a lot and and I went I'm that's doesn't why One or two maybe you can do two a night here in LA
Starting point is 00:50:00 But more than two it's it's like, why would you want to because you want to get good? Yeah That's true. That's the end of that you're practicing. Yeah, it's what a project. Well, it's it's like, um I think I think I think it's an addiction more than it's definitely an addiction My buddy cash levy and I we have a podcast called cashing in with tj miller. Yeah, um cash levy super funny edit that part out Yeah, absolutely. And uh, this is a great show. Can you edit this out? I love tiger belly And and so, you know, yeah, so cash cash again miller and um, and he's a he's a it's his show And he has trouble getting guests
Starting point is 00:50:37 So i'm the only guest that he's had in seven years and it's uh, it's it's really really a lot of fun But we were talking about stand-up and he said and I love this I quote He said it's definitely a drug. It's an addiction And uh, it's a drug, but it's healthy for us and it's healthy for them Okay, and so I think that's really interesting because people who come and see it It's a drug for them during that time and then for us. It's also a drug I know I like great comic and you're already a great comic. So you know, I don't need to hear that I don't need to hear that. No one else tells you that
Starting point is 00:51:09 Because it's not true. Listen to me Listen to what I say, I love it, but I think it's healthy for the audience But I don't think it's healthy for the comic. Why because in any addiction You're doing it so that you're not like in the moment and really feeling what you're feeling You know, I mean, it's all an escape Maybe But I mine a lot of times I'm improvising and there's nothing more But I know but you get excited there when you improvise and you get a laugh or something
Starting point is 00:51:37 You just came up with right the audience laugh. It's a dopamine hit Yeah, right and I'm just saying you just get addicted to that feeling right and you're not really feeling what you're you know But he has a good point because he doesn't have a lot of I mean he goes in Doing crowd work. So you couldn't be more in the moment Thank you Then you have to be so present to be able to do that night after night. Well, I think also here's the other thing I hate you. Here's the other thing It's like I hate you for that. You'd like to do 10 because you're right. You'd like to do 10 shows, right?
Starting point is 00:52:09 What you'd like to do 10 stand-up shows what general in your life? So what and maybe this is the wrong way, but if I want to spend time with let's say you want to do 10 shows We want to spend a lot of time with her. You know, we work. Do you know we broke up work? No, I didn't know that Are you being real in New York? Okay. Let's move on. Yes You that doesn't mean he doesn't want to spend time with you, right? That's true. That's true. We still get our nails done exactly and so Um, yeah, that's awkward. I didn't know that I'm not gonna pretend like that's not weird. It's Jay's choice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's trying to get it back together. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 00:52:47 Um, so let's say you wanted to stay away from her because you're no longer sexually attracted to her But you wanted to spend time with other women that kind of understand you more Yeah, yeah, and let's say you kind of want to just move forward with your life, you know, so um Those 10 sets I can do in two days Those in Los Angeles would take you a week or more maybe But I had I want to defend the LA comedy scene because you haven't been here in a while Okay, it really is supernova is amazing. Okay. Yeah, it is. Yeah, but there's those off nights, too But the clubs are
Starting point is 00:53:27 Amazing. I mean, I did The store and the improv all week last week, right? everything so sold out And the audience are just in it and it's like the lineups are great and it's so fun Yeah, I mean again, I I love the laugh factory. I think that's such an and I really like the improv and I've done You know, the belly room is fun at the comedy store, but like I don't know. I just I I prefer the I like New York better than Los Angeles. I'm not gonna convince you. No, I understand
Starting point is 00:53:56 But I'm saying there's just more of that There's that but more of it in New York City and you get to live in New York, but I love doing shows here I really really like doing stand-up here. I think I miss you. I miss you. I miss seeing you around I miss you, too. Yeah. Yeah, we were there that night that I kind of went off on dane. That was a that was a glorious night What that was a glorious night. I've we've talked about it last time. Oh that yeah that one It was when I never uh, I didn't realize that people were listening to my twitter Yeah, I was kind of like I'll just go off on him. No big deal. Nobody's like paying anyone that didn't listen the last day
Starting point is 00:54:31 We'll just we'll just recap, right? It was years ago. It was like a Wednesday or whatever tg miller and I had a spot at the laugh factory and Dane showed up cook and he did way too long Well, you left and that's right. So I looked at you and I go I'm not staying for this. I'm leaving And I thought I go and you say he's got to go after it Yeah, he did so much time and he started berating the audience But I think that was the first time he'd been up for a long time and he was pretty upset and
Starting point is 00:54:58 Now that I'm an older stand-up comic I I don't really understand it The audience I think it's weird to look at a guy and be like well, you don't get any girls because you're bald You're just an old bald guy. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like that guy is just like what happened What happened to my night? Yeah, yeah here the most famous person I've ever seen just told me I'm an old An a horny oldie bald. Yeah callbacks it Have you see callbacks? Wait, have you seen Dane? Have you seen Dane since then I saw him? I saw him at one point
Starting point is 00:55:31 Uh, because Jamie Masada was like, you know, buddy, buddy, you have to get together You know, we are all children these are siblings. You got to work it out and he was really interesting and cool He kind of said you want to talk we went in that alley way. Oh cool And it was really clear that he's like I have so much hate and so much shit coming at me all the time Yeah, and uh when you're really famous, you'll understand that but like just don't do that to people You know what I mean? All right, and I kind of was like, yeah, and it was my bad I mean, I didn't I didn't need to do that and I could have just left But it really really made me upset that he was mean to that guy. Yeah, I remember
Starting point is 00:56:09 So Anyway, I'm kind of an idiot. No, you're not. I guess no Uh, because I'm let me defend you for a second. Okay We as comedians we eat a lot of shit, right? And I know there's hierarchy, right? But there are some things that go too far I don't think that's one of them when somebody goes way too long and ruins the audience For the people that are after yeah, that's it's it's just not a cool thing And that was the other thing is because you left I was like I have to follow this
Starting point is 00:56:40 And so that made me really upset too and I've never seen anybody drop in and do like an hour Except for chris rock. I've got and I had to follow him, but the audience was amazing Yeah after he got out and what I learned though ever since then is I say no no like I I'm still I'm at club still And I I I have people go hey, so-and-so is gonna go before you and now I just go no No, I know who I am. I'm a name, right? I know that I play this club all the time and this guy that's gonna bump in Is from out of town or he's more famous or whatever, but no that's not gonna happen And then sometimes they go well, it's gonna happen. I just leave
Starting point is 00:57:18 Yeah, but I'm not let I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not gonna eat it anymore. I'm who I'm too old for that I've been around too long, you know, I I respect myself. I I think I'm a credible Guy and don't push me around. No, you're not a credible guy. You're an incredible guy Oh, man, you're good with play on words, huh? I'm good with loving empathy sympathy and love I'm good with friendship Bobby. Yeah, I'm good get used to it Yeah, the other thing though, there is a There is an argument for if you're doing too many sets You're like not thinking about what you're doing. That's what I was. Yeah, you take away time from
Starting point is 00:58:04 Um Regular life, which is what you draw from to but yeah, I've always been a a guy who's just like an extremist I think that's that has something to do with my brain damage for sure But it's like what were you going to have it for people dropped in the head? No, I had an arterial venous malformation. Oh, yeah, I remember yeah, and uh, and so I now see What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh AVM. Wow. Yeah, how about that? Did you get it fixed before like any risk of like a rupture or anything? No, it hemorrhaged and so I had to Is this part of your world? I didn't know that. I just know what it is
Starting point is 00:58:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's usually found in autopsy, right? You know and so when I was filming yogi bear 3d, one of my favorite yogi bears Thank you so much. I didn't like yogi bear 2d. It just felt flat. Yeah, 3d was my favorite one. It was so visceral It just felt flat. It was visceral. It was visceral. Yeah, I loved it. And so I um, I was out there and I was talking to cartoon bears in the middle of a forest in new zealand And it ruptured. I started to go crazy. Bobby There's just little balls that you talk to correct. Okay. Let's move on So I just want people to listen to go. Oh, there were cartoon bears. There's running around new zealand
Starting point is 00:59:16 Then they'll fly out there and then there's nothing. Well, you've got that kind of audience. I guess Okay, yeah And what but what it is is they they use of you mean sometimes a tennis ball or some sort of green screen It's usually a ping-pong ball and then they hold it on a stick. You have to talk to the where their eye Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so that was crazy. So I was already doing a crazy thing And then my brain started bleeding and so my right front of lobe was sort of overactive and I got Totally obsessed with entanglement puzzles and I believe that I had just ascended To another level of intelligence and that's just what happens to people who are really smart
Starting point is 00:59:53 They just eventually become smarter than at a different level And just all the stuff I couldn't go to sleep. I was like drinking all the time with on a ferris because it was just a It was just it I was going insane. So I came back love her by the way. Was that love her. Yeah, she's on a ferris Love her the greatest greatest and so I came back and You know, it was like it was weird working with on a ferris because she's the only celebrity crush that I've ever had ever Because she's so funny and so beautiful. She's so cute so cute and funny She's the great and such a nice girl. I'm really really smart and so I hope she's listening
Starting point is 01:00:30 I worked with her one two at time two and you know, I had a small part. What was it? What was that on the dictator? Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and um There was a couple of days. I didn't have a lot of scenes. That's lines Yeah, maybe one line here and there and it was one of those things I had to sit around the whole time Yeah being kind of a background or whatever and each she would always check to see how I was Wait, but you did her podcast here. I did. Yeah. Yeah, let's move on from her. Yeah enough Enough enough of you Anna. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so um, so I came back and I was doing a lot of nitrous oxide
Starting point is 01:01:03 I've always I always did like things that would depress me. So alcohol. I've never done cocaine. I did on accident once Um, but I just don't look for cocaine or speed or I don't really like coffee although I'll drink it But I have a thing so I have a neuropsychologist It ruptured. I had two seizures. I went they told me that I had two seizures I went they took it out and after they took it out I was like, so how long do I have to be here to kind of relearn stuff and they're like, no, you're fine You can go Like you can say you want but you weren't and I was like what?
Starting point is 01:01:38 and so what happened was I was not fine and I was sort of having mania in general, but I was kind of I was able to control it to a certain extent Uh, and it got me to do a lot of work. I got a lot done and one year I was doing like a hosting critics choice awards and doing silicon valley and also was recording dead pool and other and then voiceover and podcasts all this stuff Um, but then at times it would sort of spin out and I would have a manic episode happen once when I was on silicon valley And that one was a psychotic split. Oh my god. What a nightmare one thing about a psychotic split that is so bizarre is it's really hack
Starting point is 01:02:15 It's like so hack Everything that they make fun of or they say in the movies and stuff. It all happens to you You think that the tv is talking to you and only you you think the government is trying I thought that there were birds that were actually drones. I thought the chinese government was It was him. I thought the chinese government was watching me I still remember reloading a webpage and it just said china china come to china china become Do we have tourists in china? Yeah, it was so insane. And so I smashed the computer all that stuff They were I had the incident on the train the misunderstanding with the federal government. That was amazing
Starting point is 01:02:53 Listen, listen, wait, but I have a real question about that that it was a legitimate like traumatic brain injury that you sustained But why were did they just let you out and say okay fine back to work you go back home You go without any follow-up of hey like this abcd. So here's the deal Oh, exactly. So here's the deal is um You know, I had that manic episode on the train and just believed that a woman was being dangerous I had sort of in my mind at that point that women who I didn't really know or that could be really dangerous And so I sort of called it out. It's funny. I in my um
Starting point is 01:03:32 Stand up right now. I'm doing a joke about that that it's like In new york, they say if you see something say something. So I'm here to tell you if you see something And you say something and it's nothing. Oh, it'll be something Oh, it'll really something for a few years for three years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he goes, huh Call back city call back city. Yeah. And so uh, even saying call back city is now a call back. Yeah, that's insane. So I um After that and the government was like, okay, he's not like praying calling us He's got the I started seeing a neuropsychologist and a neuropsychologist didn't exist That wasn't a thing when I had my surgery
Starting point is 01:04:15 So what I needed had not yet been invented. How bizarre is that and most people who have what I have died There's just it doesn't really happen and very few people sustain the injury in the area that I've sustained it And even less ie is zero people who've had that injury are incredibly successful So I am a sort of a case study for neurologists and neuropsychologists on the stuff because they're like How did he have this brain injury? But he has this fully functioning personality that he also excels in these particular places specifically in the arts Because your frontal lobe is where you a lot of the creativity on the surface But I they took out a golf ball size of my brain that I was never using
Starting point is 01:04:55 So that's the main is because I have less brain matter than you guys. Well, not George But you know because I have less my brain has to work harder And so that's why we would have a seizure or something like that because like so I'm on a lot of medication anti-seizure medication lithium stuff that's supposed to be a mood stabilizer Which I hate all those things, but I they work And if I don't take the vimpat, which is like a son of kepra is what they call it Kepra yeah, and it was so funny after I switched from keppra to vimpat and my neurologist is one of the best in the world Dr. Stokel at Cedar Sinai
Starting point is 01:05:30 He said so he goes all right. We're gonna transition into vimpat and so I did that. It's okay and Kate goes She goes so did kepra have any like side effects or anything like that? He goes. Oh, yeah And we're like what and he's like. Oh, yeah, just uh erratic behavior mood instability Um, but isn't it also really damaging to the liver? It can be yeah, and so the vimpat is kind of my liver is okay Because what I do to balance it out is I drink a lot of alcohol
Starting point is 01:06:00 And so that so that's really, you know Yeah, yeah, um, I got it like it. Thanks. Yeah, yeah, and so I like you. Yeah, I like and then and so the neuropsychologist kind of was able to um You know help me It's called remediation and it's really weird But it's basically trying to teach me how to do things that all of you do with just like Normally, you know and so when I got off the kepra the vimpat is a lot different
Starting point is 01:06:33 It still has sort of side effects, but um For the most part now I'm kind of chill with the dangerous aspects of it But it's like I don't feel tired So all of you get tired and you kind of are like, oh, I really I should lay down and get I don't And so what I have to do is I haven't gotten a lot of sleep throughout the day or something I have to look in the mirror and I have to see if I have like signs like physical signs of fatigue So stuff like that and it's like like I'm unable or I was unable to like really really Connect to the idea of checking my schedule for what I had to do the next day
Starting point is 01:07:09 Wow, and so it's just like weird stuff like that and then it was so funny. I was reading about an apm and they and I was talking to my neuropsychologist dr. Vias At wheel Cornell, you know, I like to shout out my mental health team and Just give him a shout on twitter who did and who did it and so um so it's it's like I forget where I was reading it, but it was basically a lot of the like
Starting point is 01:07:39 Deficiencies that come from my particular Manifest themselves in a way that they look like personality traits So just looking back at that and I was like a lot of people just thought I was kind of a dick Because of certain things that I just couldn't connect with and the weird thing too is it might be because this or not But I'm not very self-conscious You know because I don't sort of have that part of it. So it manifests itself in kind of a weird strange confidence That hollywood is addicted to but also threatened by I think so it's it's been a very very strange trip, you know, but the neuropsychologist now has really really helped me
Starting point is 01:08:15 But I wonder if while there were obvious, you know liabilities and a cost to You know like your mental health all of these things like There had to been like it seems like it lit up in a different way your brain. It's like there's almost like a An asset to to that AVM like I mean I wouldn't be the way I am And it's not like I got injured halfway through my life. It's just that part of my brain never worked But it's little things, you know, it's you know, well, you know, like one of the things is that Like constantly I'll do things and not really think about them Yeah, I just like one of them is like I'll interrupt people
Starting point is 01:09:01 You could Hi What's up It's good. Um, listen, I I'm so glad I learned Through cognitive remediation. It's good to share the focus So With you. So thank you. It's so thank you. Bobby. I missed you, buddy. Yeah
Starting point is 01:09:21 Yeah It's so great to be here. That is Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't get time with this one. Let's not do that Let's not do that right now I want to say something I'm thank you for sharing all that because You know, it it makes certain things clear, you know, because When that whole train thing happened, you know, I would say to people like that that doesn't sound like him
Starting point is 01:09:48 That's there's something going on and whatnot and there was a second incident Where and I don't know if you remember this. Do you remember running into or seeing me and Theo Vaughn at a bar? So it was right around that train incident. Yeah, me and Theo we he we were shooting something for him upstairs at this bar We look and you were sitting there at the bar with somebody else you looked at both of us And you did not acknowledge us It was so weird. You might have mentioned this past. Yeah, and we walked upstairs and I go there's something going on I don't know what it is And I just you know, there just just the things that you said just now really clarified a lot of things for me
Starting point is 01:10:27 And the last time you were on the show, you know, the first time I don't think I brought those things up because I was just like, you know, that's you know, I don't you know I don't want to talk about anything that he does. He's uncomfortable Bob. Yeah, that's really responsible The problem and it's not a problem. But the thing about me is I just never identified myself as like a brain damaged guy It just my brain has always worked the way it has and I don't think of myself as So I just never would really bring it up. Yeah and It was weird because and and actually
Starting point is 01:10:57 On Joe Rogan the sort of white guy mafia the new york white guy mafia like mark norman chain gillis and all right And they were talking and they had said Um, I forget which one of them said it but somebody said because they're talking about me and they're talking about the legitimate the brain thing and They said and it's true that like Hollywood and everybody Will tolerate mental health issues or that stuff when they're getting something good out of it getting good art And then the second they don't want to anymore. They just like those. Yeah. Yeah, and so it's really really
Starting point is 01:11:33 Um, it's really strange, but it's I just never was able to like connect like wait a second Maybe I'm the way I am because of this thing and maybe there are some deficiencies That I could work on to be better at it And so it's weird, but if it was around that time I was really full on like Spinning out. No, that's what I gathered That's an idea. I never brought it up. I never really told anybody I mean it was just just a thing that I went
Starting point is 01:11:59 There's something going on because the first time you came on, you know, I mean it had been It's a while since that You're the tj that I Known and grew up with and loved right and care about yeah, and I cared about yeah, I want to spend time with exactly Yeah, you're yakuza, bro. Yeah, my yakuza brother. Yeah Yeah, but you know, but now that you explain all that stuff It's just so it just cleared it up for me and it's like thank you for just sharing that No, of course and it is weird, you know, I'm trying to kind of at least talk about it lately because it is a big part of everything
Starting point is 01:12:32 that's going on, but also I think it helps people understand me also just like fans and just people in america and in general Yeah, in norway and Really all of skin and avia Really? Yeah. Yeah, we got some rapid fire questions for tj. Do you um, do you want to pull up? Um here jona really quickly. Absolutely. Yeah, let's pull it up and let me tell you so this is amazing and you'll love this so I set out to do a um
Starting point is 01:13:01 It's my fucking phone talking. Um, so I set out to do a special called the pandemic special and So I set out to do something called um the pandemic special and this is if I love so this Pause right here pause right here Okay, so I set out to do the pandemic special Which is all my pandemic material because I was like I can't use it anymore. I want to get it almost as a time capsule And you you know as you guys know, I I'm really an improviser. It's like my strength and so
Starting point is 01:13:35 I did I did so I just but I was like I need stand up to show people that I'm a stand up comic, you know That's just really really important and so what I um What ended up happening Is I started the show and the first show was awful I did I did this at zany's and nashville and I mostly because I came up with this great idea for a backdrop But also because those were the places I was playing during the pandemic That was all ideas these kind of clubs in like Tennessee
Starting point is 01:14:03 And so I I went into the second show on friday, which is always really difficult for the most always the notorious the worst Outoriously the worst show and the audience was amazing and I was like, oh my god. This is so incredible This is going to be the special audience and this guy started heckling me in the front row I was like tj. Don't pay attention to him. Just stay the course. He's probably going to be quiet And he wouldn't stop heckling me and one of the he was doing weird heckles like not mean but just like that's good Yeah, I you I agree with that or like that's true. That's funny because it's true So then finally I'm like he's fucking drunk is going to ruin my god damn So then I go and I say something to him about his cargo pants
Starting point is 01:14:39 Okay, okay, and he is not drunk And he is not a heckler He's this guy Jonah Like all the time. So he's talking about why he likes I want you guys to know that I am not going to make fun of him at all Pause pause Isn't that a great backdrop right? It's all different fake in the zany's comedy club because the top one zany's is the real thing. Yeah, those are all fake
Starting point is 01:15:17 Crickets tummy tickler. I like my buddy's nick batter out as larry. It's like uncomfortable silences. Yeah Uh, so yeah, so that's that was Jonah And so then I kind of said look I'm not going to make fun of this guy It's great and then throughout the show he like interrupted me again So I incorporated him and then eventually the show was kind of about him people wanted to hear what he had to say I was sort of involving he has the funniest line in the entire special The closer is something with him that we do together. Yeah, and it was it's like perfect because that's exactly It did everything that I needed to do. Wow
Starting point is 01:15:52 It's it shows people how how good I am and it's an improviser and then if you come see a show You have no idea where it's going to go It shows that I am a comic and I have strong material and also shows that I'm like A good guy Yeah, because I never made fun of this guy and there's never a moment where it seems like I'm going to and I kind of The whole show spent it slowly kind of lifting him up and making him the star of the show Yeah, and it's really sweet. I mean honestly people tell me that at the end of the special they're like crying because they're like
Starting point is 01:16:20 How is this guy and you can tell because he's a huge fan of Deadpool and a huge fan of me And I started you know that I had seen because oh, yeah, he said I I saw you before and I was in the back And he's like so I say I got to go and see you again be in the front and that's why he sat so he was in front He was touching the stage his table was touching the stage because he figured if it was good in the back It was going to be so much better in the front, right? Because that's it gets better as he hit closer the performer, which is kind of fucking true It is true. Yeah, and so it's it's like the best. Is he normal? Is there something going on with him or of course? Yeah, okay. I don't want to know. I don't want to say the word but
Starting point is 01:16:58 Well, it's funny. Is he that he's he's developmentally retarded and I told You doubled down on what I was gonna say I could even say so I said so I said that's the next level because it's no It's medical. It's medical that thing and I said that and this there's like this. Whoa. What'd you call diabolical? What is it? Gosh, what did you know what would you say? So listen so he's so So so I saw you about this with my because this woke her all this comic because she's really funny But she was like she kept being like special needs. Oh, okay. Yes. Absolutely. It's oh, yeah Yeah, but then then I'm talking to my neuropsychologist about it
Starting point is 01:17:41 And I said he is he's still developmentally retarded. That is the name for it Oh, I said diabolics. She goes. Yeah, that would have been insane I would have been so insane crazy. Um, and he's just diabolical. Uh, He's diabolically So I I said that in uh to my neuropsychologist and she goes it is still it's a medical term But we prefer to say intellectually deficient. Okay. It's like what that's even worse. That's worse. Yeah It's kind of like no, you don't have it. It's never gonna happen instead of calling someone slow. You're like, no, he stopped Yeah
Starting point is 01:18:17 He's not slow. He's stopped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it is worse, but there's no way so whatever it is special needs It's kind of strange. You know what I'm saying? Um, intellectually deficient intellectually deficient. Isn't that weird? That's crazy Yeah, it's pretty harsh. It's harsh. That's what I'm saying. That's why I was like retardation is just like I mean, I okay. I love it. I don't know if I'm gonna get in trouble for this probably No, you're not because you're so nice to him. Well, you named a special after the guy Yeah, and it's it's sort of a love letter to him Oh, you're a good guy is what it ended up being and so he's and his His high school teacher reached out to me
Starting point is 01:18:55 Wow And because she was like the counselor for the special needs kids And she said I watched that and it was so amazing and it just made my heart soar And it brought a tear to my eye and she said it just I know that it means the world to him And so that was it was really really cool. And I can't wait to go back to Tennessee. I'm hoping he comes to see a show No, you should go have lunch with him or something. Yeah, because I wanted I'd want to hear what he thinks of the special Because I'm sure he loved it. But at the time you can see he's like he can feel Everybody in this room. It's sold out. It's two or 300 whatever it is. It's hundreds and hundreds of people
Starting point is 01:19:30 that are Like loving him like just being like we love this guy. You're great. You're hilarious. You're doing it And you can just feel him taking that in because that doesn't happen to him a lot A lot of the time people are making fun of him or they want him to get out of the way in the grocery store Or they think that what parking incorrectly or whatever it is Nobody's patient with him. Get out of the way. No, no one's ever done. Really? Yeah. I mean, I think it's just He's seen less as the star of anything. You're right. You know what? And more as the liability of everything. You're right. You're right. So that's just absolutely awful that that's kind of his
Starting point is 01:20:09 lot in life and so I tried kind of in one show to just pack all of this like happiness and kind of joy and feeling appreciated into like one hour for him And I couldn't believe it, but it fucking it was perfect. I just really I Everyone listening right now. Everyone listening watch this fucking special on youtube. Yeah Yeah, and it was it really is uh, yeah and sticker giant Check that out. Uh, but it's it is really sort of uh, stop stop stop. Let's do let's do the questions Yeah, let's do our part questions. All right, we'll do thanks for doing this guys. Fuck yeah, man All right, first one. This is from inambo underscore. What's your proudest moment? Everyone in the room, but tj first
Starting point is 01:20:52 dear jonah That's your private proud proudest moment. That's my private diabolical private moment. Okay. That's cool. Bobby Okay, pass on me. I think about it. Kala. Do you have anything on top of your head? Proudest moment You go first gilb You know what? I'll go a second time second proud. Go ahead. No, it's the first proudest again. Okay steer jonah. All right I could keep going until you guys figure something right. You might have to do a third time Let's go around that's what I'm saying. Maybe just not the proudest, but a proud moment
Starting point is 01:21:23 um Well, I'll wrap in fire. Um Doing the tiger belly live show. Oh, yeah, that was a really good one for a show. Yeah, um, and you did great Didn't you kill she was nervous always nervous. I'd never been in front of it was one of the most perfect Show I've ever been a part of yeah, that's what I'm saying. I understand. We said that's like this Yeah, and it's like when everything goes well, you feel good for yourself You're like I did it and then you're also like and the audience fucking loved it. Yeah, but drug what you felt for them What you felt good for us what you felt in the show was pure love
Starting point is 01:22:01 From the audience because no one in that audience wasn't a tiger belly fan They were deep tiger belly fans and I felt a sense of unity a sense of comfort I felt like I was in a womb You know what I mean? It felt so good and perfect. Uh, you know, that's what those skankfest guys I did skankfest last year and I'm gonna do it again this year. I think It's just these people are such diehard fans and they feel that they know you because they've listened to you for so many hundreds of hours And there's something about that audience sort of
Starting point is 01:22:34 Comedian relationship. It's just different. I think that's what you're saying was talking. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah And I have a weird version of that that's totally different with the films that I've been in and silicon valley But I'm in some of these movies that are people's favorite movies Steven Spielberg put me in the office christmas party because he knows that every year People watch it and they're like god that guy's such a good dude. He's so funny So I've become a part of their sort of Christmas or their culture or their whatever and films you don't watch a good television show a second time really ever But movies are we've all seen our favorite movies hundreds of times animal practice He's neck deep and um west wing west wing again the second time
Starting point is 01:23:12 Yeah, you two said it's sopranos. All right. What's your most proudest moment? I think when I did the tonight show as a kid Yeah, I read that You showed me your diary of when the day before you How old were you two weeks before you did a tonight show and then the entry right after you did the tonight show And two weeks before that you're like, I hate this my life's over I don't know what I'm doing and stand up anymore And then you you you flip the page and it's it's your diary your journal entry right after you did a tonight show And you're like, I think I made it. Oh my god. I can't believe it and it was really sweet and you did. How old were you?
Starting point is 01:23:49 Almost 30 29 Why'd you say when you're a kid? I mean, I thought you meant when you were eight and you went on with the animal trainer What did he do on the tonight show when he was eight years old? I was short-round stand-in You know, what's great about that it's funny and also it would be really cool Yeah, yeah, because everybody loves short-round. Yeah, and I got to do goonies too. You know, yeah I stand up stood in front of that too, you know But anyway, yeah, that was uh, no when I say kid because I feel like you know, I started at 23 as a kid as a comic
Starting point is 01:24:26 Yeah, yeah, totally, right. So it's like I'd been doing comedy about seven years and it was uh Was it Leno? Leno. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's so crazy. I and I was working the door at the time I was like doing the back where at the comedy store a kind of server and I was checking IDs and I remember bob Ross and Ross came up to me When I was wearing my comedy store t-shirt and they go we're here to talk to you about the tonight show and I remember going What do you mean? Yeah? Yeah, and they're going no, we think you can do it We've been watching you at these like open mics and stuff and I go
Starting point is 01:25:02 Really and I remember from then on it was like and I was so nervous. Really? Because you know When you're at my level at that time, you don't they don't give you a date. You do the fallout Right, so if they have in an emergency situation, so were you doing that tight six every yeah So like I think it took months and months where I was just waiting So you just you're just living with constant anxiety almost like when is the day and then when they got the call You know, I mean I was like Ready, you know, I mean but um still very nervous and I did it. I remember feeling
Starting point is 01:25:36 I really I even distinctly remember what it looked like still today Of when I when I was on there looking at where I knew where my manager was standing and my brother I remember who was on the couch. It was Christina Ricci and Jay Leno I remember like I remember like the crowd and the cameras and it being like You're on like something that you would see in a tv show, right? Like, you know, and I was like, oh, no This is my life right. It looks like a studio audience from You're watching right on tv. Yeah, it was really strange like you're sitting behind the scenes of uh, this is so sweet of yeah Yeah, yeah, and then I just remember like
Starting point is 01:26:19 Getting called over the couch and all the little moments You know what I mean in it and I just remember and then going home And laying in bed. Yeah, and just tears in your eyes. I love that and you're going Isn't he a great guy? God. I wish somebody I can't believe anyone would ever break up Anyway, give tj miller a round of applause. I I made a joke just then I know and we're gonna close her We're gonna close out on that. I want to tell you I don't want to talk about it And I know what I want to tell you when I keep going and I can't because I have something to do in eight so I can yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you're uh, you were you were held
Starting point is 01:26:54 29 yeah And you killed it. You knocked it out of the park. Yeah, I think that that's that In stand-up is in some ways the zenith of making it rather than Madison Square Garden or something else because there's so much more pressure on you bobby lee in this one moment This is that one shot and that you knocked it out of the park. Yeah, that is like that's a moment to call your proudest moment Yeah, I don't even really remember. I think I did conan first. Yeah, and I yeah, it was kind of by that time So I'm very jealous because that the tonight show that thing in stand-up comedy history is the most important thing you can do
Starting point is 01:27:36 Yeah, it was and it was said for me. It was cloverfield All right, man I'm I'm saying I'm jealous of you. That's what I'm saying one out me with a hollywood movie. What the fuck man great I'm being I'm being a great movie. You're not helping me And now I'm trying to backpedal and you're over there going great great film much better than bobby's tonight show set Anyway, give him a round of applause tj miller. Thank you for having me. Thank you guys Enjoy the peanut butter and enjoy the hot sauce Oh
Starting point is 01:28:31 Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad-free on amazon music download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.