TigerBelly - Episode 104: Sharks and the Wizard of Woz
Episode Date: August 16, 2017Bobo and Khaloko recap their trip to Hawaii. We talk vacation comas, the real assasin's creed, and the yellowest brick road.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priv...acy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey
You
Five four three two one one two three four five
I
From the islands, what's up, bro? What's your name, bro? My name is
Balloo balloo balloo balloo like I'm underwater bro. Oh Bobby, but if you say that under water it comes out
I went to Hawaii with well, let's have an around plus for khalilas here
Gilbert and we got Jorah and
Yes, we had Jorah from Game of Thrones here friends. Oh tell us why George is Jorah of the Andals
because Jorah wants to fuck Khalisi Khalisi's leading him on and
And Jorah will do anything, risk his life for Khaleesi.
He's not going to get any pussy.
And that's what fucking George is.
He will debride.
And I bet you I bet you money when he goes to be on the wall.
He's going to take a little pill.
He's going to pass on.
They're going to steal a shit.
Hashtag Columbia, hashtag Columbia.
Even he crosses the wall into Columbia.
Because he's going to get dropped by Scopolamine.
And George is Jorah.
Jorah of the Anals.
Right.
Man up.
Man up.
Let him let him play the long call.
I'm tired of your shit.
Look, sweetie.
You're a pussy.
Man up.
Mahalo.
Mahalo, everybody.
Aloha.
Aloha, brother.
Poor brother.
Brother.
Brother.
So Khaleesi and I went to Hawaii with her sister,
her ugly Korean friend, Jessica, her stepdad, Roger,
and her mom.
And it was pretty cool, man.
I swam with sharks.
Oh, wow.
Well, they paid a prepackaged thing,
right, where they were going to go in the water.
But they had me.
They didn't pay for that for me.
They paid it for me to stay on the boat.
To get on the boat.
But not to get into that.
Which is fucking bullshit.
So you have to watch them have fun?
No, no, no.
Swim with sharks?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You think that's fun for a friend?
Exactly.
So I had asked him, do you want to swim with sharks?
He's like, fuck no.
So I only bought for him to get on the boat and not
in the water.
When I showed up there, ugly Korean girl, Jessica, no,
she's nice.
Why don't we keep saying that to her?
She's a sweetheart.
Korean Khaleesi.
Aloha.
Aloha.
Mother of sharks.
But they were like, we're going to go out and pay for mine.
I'm going to go too.
OK.
We couldn't believe it.
Why?
What made you want to do it then?
Just me?
Yeah.
Because I want to prove to this bitch right here.
Oh, it's all a pussy.
That I'll try something once, bro.
I was in South Africa, dude.
I got in the cage with the white, gray whites.
Yeah, but that's a cage.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
It's still scary.
It's a cage.
Oh, really?
Sorry.
What?
All right.
Well, you know, it's still scary.
Yeah.
Look, I'm saying I would never go to swim in South Africa
with great whites outside of a cage
because I don't think their visibility is good enough.
No, I think you should.
I think you can handle it, babe.
Yeah.
No, I don't think I would.
You would just go go do it.
I would never.
You want you to go to Morton's, get a big chunk of steak,
put on your belt, wrap it to your body,
and just go into the water. I think you'll survive.
You know what was really cool about this shark dive?
They don't throw chum.
They don't do any type of baiting at all.
These sharks are pelagic sharks.
No, they don't want.
That's just where they live.
You know what they want is them to be hungry.
Oh, to eat you?
Yeah, yeah.
No, come on.
They starve them.
What I would do is I put nine meals in there, eat it,
and then go in the water.
No.
There's all these fucking rules, though.
Yeah, OK.
Tell them about the rules.
You have to lock eyes.
You have to lock.
You have to establish dominance with these sharks.
Right.
What?
So there's a hierarchy, like being like a dog, right?
So the one in the bottom is submissive.
The top shark, it's like a pecking order.
Yeah.
So whoever, the sharks that swim deeper
are the ones who are submissive,
and the ones who swim up top, which are usually the larger
sharks, are the ones who dominate the bottom shark.
So you have to lock eyes with it.
Lock eyes, and you have to extend your space.
You have to stay above them.
OK.
Another thing is you can't flail.
You can't do this to your hands and look like a dying fish.
So essentially, the same rules apply to prison.
Don't flail.
You're all like a gay man.
Going into the ocean is like going to prison.
Don't look weak.
Yeah, don't.
Yeah, stay above.
Lock eyes.
You can't be a bottom fish.
Don't flail your arm.
Right.
And I had a shark.
Fuck me.
So just like prison.
No, it was.
Walk us through it.
It was OK.
So you.
What was going through your mind on the boat right over there?
I wanted to die.
Why?
I wanted to at least lose a limb because I want this moment.
The story.
I want this moment with Kalilah.
I fucking told you.
Oh, just to prove her off.
Because the whole time I was like, look, this is.
They kept telling us.
And I kept telling him, too, it's like the boat ride
is the most dangerous thing over there.
The sharks are generous.
They're intelligent creatures.
They know what you want.
They say that about the dolphins, too.
Do they not?
Yeah, but they just they swim into that Japanese
cove full of blood.
Oh, come on.
The nets, the nets.
No, there's blood in that cove because their buddies have died.
And they're going into the water.
It's like, come on, man, if I'm walking down the alley
when I see three dead bodies, I'm turning the other way.
Not a dolphin.
Not a dolphin.
Oh, my friends are dead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A party.
You know what I mean?
I'm getting stabbed.
Yeah.
They're not that smart.
They're intelligent.
And they.
For a fish.
And you just aren't on their menu.
For a fucking fish, they're smart.
They're like the Einstein's of fish.
But when it comes to comparatively speaking
to other animals and human beings,
they're fucking retarded.
Oh, come on.
All right.
Pigs are for smart.
The purpose for me to.
All right.
The reason I was really keen on going on this shark dive,
and I know this sounds cheesy, is to kind of remove
that mystique and that fear that generally people
have of sharks and between overfitting and killing
these sharks just for their fins.
And you know, sharks do so much for the ecosystem.
And I really want to be to see that.
I know they do.
What do they do?
They do all kind of.
They're apex predators.
It's just like saying they balance out.
Without an apex predator, there'd
be an overpopulation of the things
that they would normally eat.
If you're in the top of the food chain,
you are an essential part of the ecology of where you live.
So if we keep killing these sharks at an alarming rate,
you're going to fuck up the ocean's ecosystem.
It's just as simple as that.
And if people are wasteful about it,
they'll remove the fin of the shark,
and then they'll leave the shark there to die,
a very, very slow death.
That's fucking brutal.
At least if you're going to eat the shark,
eat, utilize the whole animal.
Anyways, back to your story.
Also, you can fuck up the environment, all right?
Because it'll end up happening as this, all right?
Then the current, what do they call that?
Titles?
The curtains will stop fucking moving.
And then New York will freeze like the day after tomorrow.
It sounds like a movie.
OK, I'm in the library with a bunch of people
with a black fucking security guard.
And I don't know what to do.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
But be real, though.
How did you feel afterwards?
I was alive.
So there was that feeling of, like, I'm alive.
Dude, when he got in there, I couldn't believe it.
Not only was he the first person in there,
but he transformed into a merman.
It was like he was one with the sharks.
I went de-diving.
You could just say Aquaman.
Aquaman.
I grabbed a fin.
I just started doing that.
No, he didn't.
You were a shark rider?
I was doing that thing.
You're the prophecy?
Yeah, the whole Aquaman style, you know what I mean?
I'm telling you, like, he turned into somebody else.
Because women are there.
I can't have three chicks go, we're going to do this.
And then me not do it.
I have to do it.
And the boat captain was like, you're not going in?
I know.
Damn.
So I did that.
And we did it.
And then after that, we went.
We waited in line for, like, an hour.
A Giovanni's shrimp truck.
This place is called Giovanni's Shrimp Truck.
Hawaiian Shrimp.
That's where all the tourists go.
So we, we, we, we.
A fucking hour.
That's an hour.
That's long.
For a food truck.
For shrimp.
This campy was pretty good.
But when we, after I was done with it,
I would have waited again.
That's not that good.
Dude, I don't know if I was hungry.
I don't know.
It was because of survival joy.
Survival joy.
Because it was right after sharks.
He ordered six plates.
I ordered like six plates.
It was so fucking good.
The, the spicy one is a little too spicy.
Yeah.
It just blew my butthole apart.
And then we stayed at, we stayed at the four seasons.
It was the fanciest place I've ever stayed, I think.
It was really nice.
And I thought to myself, you know, was that a vacation for you?
For me, that was more than a vacation.
It wasn't a, I didn't want to go relax.
I wanted to do ocean activities.
See, here's the thing.
The difference between me and Kalayla is this, right?
When she thinks of vacation, she thinks of adventure.
Yeah.
When I think of vacation, I think of coma.
Sleepy.
Like I don't want to move.
Cocoon.
Oh, cocoon, yeah.
So to me, Hawaii was more like a job.
Yeah.
Oh, you're working.
Yeah, I have to get up.
I'm not getting paid.
It's like going to public school.
Remember when you went to school, you're like,
why the fuck am I getting up for this?
Am I getting paid for this?
Yeah.
Have you ever thought about it that in your high school,
you're just sitting there going, I'm not getting paid for this?
And I got up so fucking early.
Yeah, but that's your fault.
Because when you first met me, I mean, you used to claim
I put Wunderlust on my bio.
I think what you did.
And let's suppose that I did.
OK.
She did.
On my Tinder.
In capital letters, Wunderlust.
She put an emoji too.
Five pictures of four out of the five pictures
in my Tinder profile were of me free diving.
Yeah.
One with a whale shark.
It was all just ocean activities.
Cebu.
Yeah.
And so then I lied.
Yeah.
And you lied and said, I love doing all that.
Do you know why?
Why?
Because I want the pussy.
Because I want the pussy.
I'm going to fucking say, I don't like the ocean.
Bob, I love you.
Yeah, I love all that.
I love crustaceans.
You know what I mean?
I love them and enemies.
The first time we went to Hawaii, he's like, oh, we're
going to do so much.
We're going to do so much.
I didn't know that so much meant that we would spend five
days on the hotel's water slides.
That's all the fuck we did.
It's so fun, though, guys.
It's water slides.
And I was so angry.
I love those icy things with the little syrup.
Oh, the snow cones, shaved ice.
I love that shit.
Yeah.
And I just love hot dogs.
I don't want that.
No, in that one place, the ground where I laid up,
they have these hot dog guys out on the beach.
I love it.
Oh, man.
But you know, she goes to, let's go to the ocean
and see the starfish.
I go to Hawaii to become starfish, just lay there for like.
With your tube feet.
Yeah, with my tube feet, just laying there.
So you didn't do the spa at all the whole time there?
That's all.
We went to the spa.
The four seasons was not as like, that's not there.
It's terrible.
Yeah, it doesn't compare to like the Grand Wilea.
It doesn't compare to Koreatown.
It's terrible.
The steam room was not hot.
I know too, I did too.
Come on, they hooked it up.
Yeah, but we, we didn't really pay for it.
Oh, we did it.
Booking.com did.
Remember that commercial I did with Jane Lynch?
It was a free vacation.
You, they paid for it.
Yeah.
You think I'm going to fucking spend $5,000 a night?
Yeah, your fucking mind?
It was a free shit.
Yeah, that steam room was awesome.
Yeah, that steam room was amazing.
That's the best steam room.
Yeah, you're right.
It was good.
Thankyoubooking.com.
Oh, good.
And there was another place where we went to it was a white
beach, really blue water.
You go in there and you're just like, this is nice.
Yeah.
Did you really think that?
I did, but I could get it from a photograph too.
Like about a minute, you know, you're in the lobby
of the hospital or whatever.
He spotted somebody at the Lanakai beach and he laughed.
And he like followed her and laughed at her for 30 minutes.
It was a Japanese lady, she was dressed.
She's in the ocean with me.
OK.
She's dressed in a hoodie, but also a hoodie that covers her face.
Like she's an assassin's creed.
She's about to fucking assassinate somebody.
Like she's about to perched up somewhere.
Yeah, I'm like, it was also, it's Hawaii.
It's not the Antarctica.
She wasn't wearing, it wasn't like a Burkini or anything
like religious or anything like that.
She just hated the sun.
Yeah.
You can tell like she was just, if she could have worn one of those.
Oh, is that what that was?
Yeah, if she could have worn.
I thought she was too cold.
It wasn't a wetsuit.
It was a full on, like it was swimsuit material.
But she was in a full ninja gear.
And she was just floating around and Bobby's like,
it's a assassin's creed.
And he kept following her the whole time.
Why did you stop her?
Seeing that.
Because I'd never seen anything like it.
And also she's Japanese and she's my enemy.
I have to know exactly where she is.
No one dresses like that.
She's going to assassinate you.
She's going to kill you.
Yeah, she's there to kill me.
So I'm going to follow her, follow her.
And then Steve Byrne was in town.
And I did his show at the, I don't know what it was.
In Blue Notes.
Yeah, Blue Note Jazz Club.
Oh.
It was pretty fun.
I just like, you know what?
There's something about doing shows in Hawaii.
That's really fun.
We should do a show in Hawaii.
Yeah, we should do a podcast show there.
Do you think people would show up?
Yeah.
We have Hawaiian fans.
But if there's something about like just,
it doesn't matter the amount of people
that's in the audience, it's just kind of just cool.
Like, you know, Don Ho did it.
Like that was Don Ho, Tiny Bubbles.
Yeah, I love, dude.
Do the song.
Tiny Bubbles.
Tiny Bubbles.
Okay, I don't want to do it.
That's all I know.
Okay.
I only know those two words.
Just Tiny Bubbles?
But you know that Pat Merida.
Karate Kid.
You know Pat Merida, right?
You know, he used to go to Don Ho's shows every time.
Oh, I didn't know that.
You know why? To do one joke.
Which is?
Don Ho would stop his show and go, Pat Merida's here.
Pat Merida, please stand up.
And Pat Merida would go, I am standing.
Because he's so short.
And he would get a laugh and he would sit down
and then we'd get a laugh and that's it.
He shows up the next day.
He would come back to the show and do that same joke.
I am standing.
Big laugh.
I wonder if that ever bombed.
Where he did it, where he went, I am standing.
And he's just dead silent.
And he just awkwardly stood down.
I wasn't Karate Kid.
But yeah, I used to do that.
How do you like Waikiki these days?
We didn't even go there really.
I mean, I did that one show with Steve,
but we were on the other side of the island.
We're on the west side, which is like so nice.
But it was nice to see you hang out and stuff like that.
You famous in Hawaii?
Not really.
Yeah, he is.
He is.
Not really.
He did a lot of Korean Elvis winking,
even by Giovanni's shrimp truck.
He kept the whole time.
Like every time someone wanted a picture,
he was winking at us.
Who cares?
I have when it's sunny, I blink.
I wink all the time when it's sunny.
Sharks are not afraid of me.
What else did we do there?
We were only there for a while.
I ate your pussy.
Oh my god.
How was Hawaiian sex?
Pretty good.
Different in a different environment?
Pretty good.
Let me see.
I was so tired.
I did so much.
He spent a lot of time in the hotel,
but I would pack my days.
And when she says that, it just infuriates me.
Why?
Because I went to the shark thing.
One day.
The next day I woke up and went to the beach thing.
Why beach?
There's two activities.
Yeah, two days in a row.
Yeah, but a total of four hours.
That's what I did before that.
That was my whole life I never did that.
That was a year.
I will say this.
I honestly, I appreciated you so much more.
I was like, dude, my guy is a fucking man.
When I saw you get in with those sharks,
because there was no hesitation in his mind.
He's like, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm not a fucking adventurer at heart.
But I can usually think.
I'm telling you right now, dude.
It's like, if I was fit, I'd be a Tomb Raider, bro, with Laura.
I mean, me and Laura would go into tombs and fight skeletons.
I don't give a fuck, bro.
This is why you're the man.
Why?
Because I've been with a lot of people.
And even though they're tentative to like,
you can always sense their fear throughout the whole experience.
Once he got in the water, he surrendered.
And he just floated around like a little sea nymph.
A sea nymph?
Yeah, and it was so beautiful to watch.
And I was so proud of him.
We also went to a safari when I was in South Africa,
where we wanted to go to a place where the animals didn't
have any human contact.
It was a special one where you're just kind of out there with them.
Orney Adams almost got eaten by a lion.
But we were like, I would literally do it one time.
Like I'll skydive.
If somebody said, hey, what's that thing where they jump on?
They have a base jump.
I would base jump.
I would not.
I go to a class and figure out how to open my arms.
I'm not going to just jump like I'm cannonballing into the canyon.
What is he doing?
What is he doing?
What is Bobby Lee doing?
Yeah, I would take a couple of classes.
But you do it.
I think that we should do a travel show, you and I.
I think that because you know, like if we there's so many travel shows
out there where everyone knows about the food, the culture,
and they're just smart people, Bobby and I are stupid.
He's a slept king.
I'm probably sleepier than that.
And I think that we should just go to cities and just kind of like that.
Have you seen the Indian abroad?
We will.
I love that show so much.
When I have time, OK, when I'm available, all of that.
Contact my assistant.
I also want to dilemma who do we have?
I mean, Paulie Shore, Jamie Kennedy.
Oh, we don't talk about that stuff.
I know I want to talk about it.
No, but let's just make a decision.
Who's first?
I don't know what if it changes the time this airs.
I know who cares.
We'll get them when we get them.
But they want it.
I they have they all want to do it soon.
This doesn't pertain to this this episode, though.
Oh, my God.
You guys are a bunch of cowards, huh?
I'm down with all of them.
Just do all of them.
Yeah, OK.
I want to tell you guys something.
What?
Before we watched the Game of Thrones yesterday,
before it's spoiler alert, by the way, turn it off.
Before we saw Gendry hold that hammer yesterday,
my sister called me because she left our apartment
and she says, hey, there's somebody in your garage
lurking around in a bicycle.
He's going he's he's wearing a hoodie
and he's going through different cars.
Trying to see probably like, you know, steel shit.
And usually, Bobby, when someone when we hear
like a weird sound in the past, he's always been like, you go.
No, you check it out.
You know, and I'm like, you're the fucking dude, you go.
You know, this time around, this is
how I know the sharks changed you.
What if you make it so like he's the biggest pussy
before the shark?
He I swear, let's let's hear me out.
Hear me out.
I've never seen him do this in my life.
I told him, sweetie, my sister says
there's a lurker downstairs.
He didn't even miss a beat.
He went to the kitchen.
He grabbed the hammer and he ran downstairs.
And he's like, I got this, babe.
I have never in my lifetime ever seen him do this.
I don't know if it's because you quit smoking
or if it's the sharks or is it OK.
I just want to let you know whoever sent me this fucking
vape pen and stuff is it's it's a godsend.
Because I'm been I haven't smoked for a week and a half.
Tuesday will be two weeks.
It's been so fucking hard.
Like it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well, I don't know how long it's going to last.
But it doesn't matter.
It's day by day.
I know moment by moment.
But so whoever sent me this vape thing, thank you.
I don't know if it's better for you, but fuck it.
I'm trying to do it.
I'm doing everything.
But I went down there.
It has nothing to do with the sharks.
It has to do with we've had break ends.
And it was tired of people coming into my fucking garage.
You know, and then I just wanted to I want to confront something.
Why?
I don't know why.
What would you do to him?
Because what would you say?
OK, you see the guy in the hoodie and he's breaking into someone's car.
All right.
All right, you be the guy.
I'm just working here.
Just hammering.
Well, if it's a guy that's working here, I'd help him.
I have a hammer.
I have a hammer.
Let's see guys.
Let's work together.
OK, but hey.
What?
What the fuck are you doing, bro?
I'm breaking the cars, motherfucker.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You better fucking get out of here.
We're going to have a problem.
OK, let's do this.
And then we have a problem.
And we get enough confrontation.
Oh, shit.
He goes for the fight.
He fights.
I don't think he would do that.
You take the hammer to his.
Why'd you make that choice?
OK, sorry.
OK, what?
Rewind, rewind, rewind.
Why'd you have to be like, you know.
Rewind, rewind, rewind.
Samuel L. Jackson in every movie.
Rewind, rewind, rewind.
Rewind, ready to go.
I'm breaking into a car.
Go ahead.
All right.
Yo, man, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
I'm breaking into a car.
No one would know that.
Why would anyone see that?
Just keep going.
Just keep going.
What? Yeah, man, what the fuck are you doing?
I'm breaking into a car.
What's it look like I'm doing?
Breaking into cars.
That's what it looks like.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
You look strong.
Yeah.
If you don't get out of here, I am going to call the cops.
I'm going to smash your head with this hammer.
I'm sorry.
You just went with sharks recently?
Yeah.
You look feisty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So that's what it would happen.
You said you'd always want it to be a security guard.
Oh, yeah, that's the thing.
When I was down there, I realized one of my dreams
is to become a security guard.
Really?
Yeah, because I loved peering over different cars
and looking underneath them.
And I liked doing that little investigation,
like, is there something different about this garage
right now, like the temperature, or is there a door?
But you don't want to be a PI.
You want to be a security guard.
No, I don't want death, or I don't want serious shit.
But I would love to be a fucking security guard at,
like, Best Buy, you know what I mean?
Or some sort of like.
Like, petty theft.
Not even petty theft.
Like, a place where maybe a security guard at a house,
not a house, but like an apartment building.
The guy in the front.
Yeah, I'll just walk around.
I'm the maintenance guy.
I wouldn't even wear a uniform.
Even if they didn't require me to,
I would like to make my own.
Hey, you don't have to wear that full suit.
It doesn't matter.
It's OK.
I have a tag, I have my name tag.
He makes his own badge.
He buys it from Party City.
I would look, you know, I would look like,
you know what I would do is I would look like a cop.
Oh, just dress up like a cop.
Like, I'd have the blue, the same thing that they're wearing.
Yeah.
And just do a makeshift version of it
so that it looks kind of from afar that I might be a police officer.
I think that's a good thing.
All the security guards in the Philippines
are dressed in white and blue and carry.
Scream of sticks.
AKs.
No, I'm telling you, they carry fucking semi-automatic weapons.
It's crazy.
And even if it's like their security guards of like a compound
of like homes and stuff or like a mall, mall security,
they all carry weapons.
That is a shocking thing when you go to other countries.
Like when I was in Beirut, we were driving around every like 10
minutes, you'd see a tank and some kid, you know,
with a machine gun.
So strange.
You have to give people your papers and shit.
It's like fucking weird that people live on.
I mean, I can't imagine what it's like in Syria.
You know, I mean, just the worst kind of life
that you could possibly live.
But there's also another end of the other end of the spectrum
of living like my friends live in Beirut, my friend Ryan lives
in Beirut and he lives the high life.
Like so if you look at all his pictures on Instagram,
like he's living just the most like lavish life in Beirut.
So he always tells me he's always like, no, you should come here.
It's beautiful here.
Don't even like get, you know.
The guy that when I was in Beirut, the guy that did the show
is connected to Hezbollah and he's a multi-multi-millionaire.
Damn.
I was out there with like Sebastian, Eric Gryffin, Danny Masterson.
I mean, and we were all staying at this guy's house.
Yeah.
So I mean, the guy had money, right?
And at that time I was like, I'll do anything to make money.
I got nothing going on.
You know, I had to do those shows, you know.
Back in the day, Beirut used to be or Lebanon used to be
like the jewel of that area.
It used to be like.
I'm not saying I had a bad time, I had a great time.
It was like a French Riviera, right?
Yeah.
I had a great time.
The food was great.
And I went to the Super Disco.
I know you told us that's the whole Johnny thing.
Super Disco.
But it's shocking to see that shit.
And it's shocking to see the shit this weekend, man.
Oh, Charlottesville.
George says, OK.
What did I say?
Oh, God.
What did you say?
George says he was in Michigan this weekend.
I don't know.
I don't know, Jorah.
Where were you?
I saw photos of you online.
All right.
Every photo was of me, according to you.
I know.
It was like 50 me's in the crowd.
They look like you.
You're that type of white.
No, he got out of the system.
Or he's not.
No, he's not.
But he could have.
He has the look, the visual.
You have the look.
You also, you're from the farmlands.
Yeah, but his parents are nice, kind.
OK, I'm going to say this right now.
Well, let me say something right now, OK?
Did you see the interview of the guy
that ran over the lady?
Jason, oh, that guy.
His mother is interviewing.
His mother was interviewed.
She was in her garage or something.
I saw it on CNN.
And she's like, I thought he was just a Trump supporter.
Like he said, all right, I thought that just
meant that he was a Republican, right?
And he was, you know, you don't know.
People around you, they don't know.
So it doesn't matter what his parents did.
He's just one of those white dudes.
Look at his face.
Smile, George.
Yeah, see?
But it's just also just on top of it.
I'm not going to get into politics, OK?
I'm not, all right.
But the people that are opposing the neo-Nazis,
they're not in the same fucking category.
What do you mean?
I don't agree with that.
What do you mean?
I think that everybody from the left side, middle,
and right, have very loudly denounced the white nationalist.
Is that what you're saying?
No, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that there's white nationalists
versus their protesters, right?
Or counter-protestors, right?
That's the conflict, right?
But without the neo-Nazis there doing their little shindig,
there would be no counter-protest.
The only reason why people are there
is because they are there.
That's what you're saying, OK.
Right?
So it's like for Trump to make them equal in some way.
Equally responsible, yeah.
He's fucking crazy because they wouldn't
be there if the neo-Nazis weren't there.
Right.
It's not many sides.
It's one fucking side.
It's one side.
It's like, and you talked about it two days later.
I know, but my point, though, is that it's like,
these kind of, also, they're just more emboldened.
Is that the right word?
Yeah.
People are just coming out more.
You see it on Twitter.
You see it.
YouTube, I think.
Yeah, people are just coming out and just letting
their racism hang in that way on their sleeve.
And you're supposed to hide that shit.
Do what we do.
Hide it.
Be like the Asians.
The Asians.
No, but OK, I say jokes.
Yeah.
Like if a Mexican would walk by, he's a leaf blower.
You know what I mean?
I would make a joke with my friend.
A hacky joke, OK?
Yeah.
I do it with other Asians.
That's all in fun.
I don't, I really honestly believe
that we're all absolutely equal.
We are.
We're human beings.
We're a species.
And we're all one, right?
But these motherfuckers really believe
that they're better than us.
Stop pointing at me.
I know, I was just pointing at my finger.
You show me your diploma from Columbia all the time.
It's just, they're out, and it's like scary.
It's not scary.
It's just like, what are we doing?
What the, I mean, we're not going into politics.
I'm not saying, but I can't fucking believe
this is where we're at as a nation.
They're just out now.
This is 2017.
I mean, we could, anyway, it's so upsetting.
I can't even, I had to say something because it's upsetting.
Yeah, one woman died from it in two cops.
Yeah.
From the helicopter.
What happened there, though?
I have no idea.
Someone threw a rock.
I mean, what happened?
I have no idea.
I know, it is very sad.
And were they responding to it, though, right?
Yeah, they were patrolling.
Oh, you're right.
OK, that's sad.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
No, you're, I feel bad about it.
It was your anger from the other thing just moved on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel bad about it.
You're so angry at that, but angry at the people that died, too.
The fuck, a pebble?
A pebble got thrown at that?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
And I'm also mad at, it's fine when I see white dudes
with Asian chicks at the shows that I do.
How much more common is that now?
It's a lot.
I mean, you see now a lot of Asian dudes with white chicks.
More than.
More now.
Yeah, more now.
But still, the other one, the other way around outnumbers them.
By like a million.
Yeah.
Hey, George, you have connections with the white people?
I'm sure you do.
You have some numbers.
I don't know a few of them.
Let's just do an exchange program.
Oh, I love this.
For every two Asian girls, you have to give us one white girl.
OK.
Why is it such a low exchange rate?
Should be even.
Because we're not fuckable in their eyes.
In their eyes.
No, that's changing.
That's not.
That's not.
You think it is?
I think it is.
Yeah, because I think that, like, especially in bigger cities
like New York, LA, or like Toronto, say, for instance,
like, I don't think that I think the playing field's
pretty equal now.
I think that when you see an Asian guy,
if he's like an attractive, they're attractive.
It's funny that you say that because I ran into Allie Wong
and she's like a couple of weeks ago and I was talking about the show
that I got, whatever.
And I'm like, it's incredible.
I don't even have to do an accent.
I said that to her.
And then she goes, oh, yeah, that's right.
I never got, you're from a different time.
I've never even, I don't even know what you're talking about.
Oh, wow.
Because she's never had to do an accent.
She's never had to do an accent in an audition or show.
It's just so foreign to her that I've been around a little longer.
I just remember a time when that's what they wanted.
It wasn't always what they wanted.
But in the 90s?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Except unless it was a commercial.
No, we don't talk about show business because we're not.
But I'm just saying that it's just shocking that things are changing.
So that's why we have all this progress, right?
And then you see somebody like that bullshit.
Yeah.
And it just takes us back, man.
That's all.
I'm an American.
I don't know anything else.
Yeah.
I'm not going back to Korea.
I'm not from there.
I was born here.
Everything I know, the pussy I eat, the food.
It's all American made pussy.
All American made pussy, bro.
I'm not American made pussy.
Oh, that is true.
You're eating a four.
I'm immigrant pussy.
Yeah.
It's still very good.
It's still kind of top of the line, babe.
It's kind of?
Yeah, yeah.
Your pussy's kind of.
Yeah.
It's not 100%, but it's pretty good.
What do you call that giant or the tomahawk?
It's not tomahawk steak.
It's top of the line, a big giant one, right?
A T-bone or a T-bone?
It's a tomahawk when they serve it to you on like a giant bone.
What's a tomahawk?
Is it tomahawk or tomahawk?
I don't know how to say it.
Tomahawk.
I think it's tomahawk.
Let's make it tomahawk.
How do you pronounce it?
Tomahawk.
Tomahawk.
When we were in Hawaii, I go, do I take it right here on Vineyard?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I read it Vineyard.
Vineyard or Vineyard.
People were so nice to me there because they thought I was local
and I was so happy.
OK.
Lenin?
So if you guys, I don't know if you guys know this,
but my brother's in a band or whatnot,
but I feel a little hurt because, you know, I'm a musician too.
You are?
Like, you know, the opening song that's on our podcast.
I wrote it and I sang it.
We sang it.
I know, but I wrote it.
We also made a new song.
Yeah, we did write it right.
Well, we is a stretch, but we is a very good stretch.
OK, so it turns out, I actually know I might.
This is how she does it.
No.
I'm writing a song.
She goes, do this.
Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
That's actually what she does.
OK, then I'm like, what?
I think I know a little bit about what it feels like to be autistic.
And this is how it's because the melody in my mind does not
match the melody of my mouth and how I want to communicate it
to Bobby.
So when we're he's writing a song and I'm trying to tell him,
do it this way, whatever is in my mind.
I'm shocked by what comes out of my mouth because it's not
the melody in my head.
So there's a complete disconnect there.
Yeah.
And it is.
So it took us three fucking hours for something for a melody
that was like 15 seconds long.
I am horrible.
I can never be a songwriter.
So what was the song?
It was very nice.
I have a couple of songs that I made in Hawaii, you know.
Can we debut one?
It's kind of like homeless people when like, you know, you go to LA.
In LA, we have a lot of crazy homeless.
Some of them, you understand what they're saying.
Yeah.
But maybe in their minds, they know, you know, they're like,
I want to say ask for some change.
But when they open their mouth, they go translation.
Yeah.
Like maybe they can't.
Is it the same thing you think?
That's like if you're Wernicke's or Broca's area
and your brain is like messed up.
That's your like speech area there.
And when I said earlier, I had no idea what you just said.
Hey, beat it, nerd.
Beat it, nerd.
Just to quit side note, you know, before we started the podcast,
I said that, is that wrong when I say a lot of midgets look the same?
High-wise?
I don't know what your fascination is.
Is that an Asian look-alike thing?
Or what do you mean?
It's an anatomical thing because of their stature.
And yeah, they kind of have a similar look.
Is that wrong to say?
I don't think it's wrong to say.
There are a lot of people who have the same anatomical features.
Like I think that, like just for instance, that's just like saying,
let me see, let me think of one thing.
Because dwarfism is a disorder, right?
It is a disorder.
So it's a hormone disorder.
So it's just like gigantism.
People with gigantism who have the agromegaly,
they all sort of look the same, they're the giant.
Yeah, right.
So I don't, it's just an anatomical thing that sort of,
I don't think that it's wrong to say that.
But to be like, to say they are all the same as wrong,
to say they have similarities.
Of course they're not the same.
But you know what, you're right, because I only know really two dwarves.
Who?
Weeman.
Yeah.
And Brad Williams.
Brad, why is that so familiar?
He's a comic.
He's a comic.
Oh.
He's very funny.
Yeah, he's very funny.
And when I see Weeman, I never go, hi, Brad.
Yeah.
I know it's him.
Yeah.
And when I see Brad.
Because he's your friend.
Yeah, when I see Brad, I go, I don't go, hey, Weeman.
I know it's, you know, so.
No one's doubting that.
No one's doubting that you know that.
OK, well, then I just cleared up my own thing in my own hood.
You're not.
I want to clear that with myself.
They're not twins, Bobby.
I know.
But I think when I was younger, I never saw dwarves.
You know, in high school or whatever, I never saw one.
Ever.
Even on TV, you see them in like in a circus or something.
Oh, you know, the first time I saw one was.
Yeah, because you're old.
Wizard of Oz.
The Oompa Loompas, right?
There's a waz.
Is it Wizard of Oz?
Yeah.
Oh, you don't know what that is?
I know Wizard of Oz.
Oh, I thought it was like an Asian version.
I thought it was an Asian version of Wizard of Oz.
I was like, how would that go?
How would Wizard of Oz go?
What?
Palo te gallo de pecorot.
Palo te gallo de pecorot.
Welcome to the Wizard of Oz.
Yeah.
Palo te gallo de pecorot.
We've got to do a Wizard of Oz Asian version.
Oh, is it a waz?
A waz with thick accent.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But like the Tin Man's really futuristic.
Like he's really made well.
Oh, yeah.
He's like a toilet.
He's like a future.
He's like Sam Song.
Sam Song.
Yeah, he's Sam Song.
Sam Song.
The lion?
The lion, no hair.
No, he just said he's airlift.
He has no hair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And maybe he's got limbs missing because the Chinese
ate some of them.
Oh, yeah.
So is this a Chinese Wizard of Oz?
I don't know.
Wizard of Oz.
We're brainstorming.
We're brainstorming right now, yeah.
The Scarecrow, what would he be like?
Scarecrow.
Asian Scarecrow?
Yeah, he's made out of rice.
Right?
Did you just keep eating him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's made out of rice.
And then Dorothy is Aquafina.
Oh, yeah.
We're going to catch Aquafina, Dorothy.
Who are you in this?
Oh, you're the great waz.
I'm the waz.
You don't even say I'm behind the thing.
I'm behind the yellow curtain.
You're a waz.
Yeah, I'm the waz.
And I think that'd be great.
Wow.
Don't you think?
Because Michael Jackson did a version.
He did?
There's a black version of it.
I never knew that.
I wish.
Here's the thing.
The Mizz, the Wizard of Oz.
I'm telling you right now, with the amount of Asian talent
that we know, especially in comedy, you could make a Wizard
of Oz.
Oh, that's becoming a real thing now.
I'm being real.
I think that it would be a really funny comedy.
Let's just do it as a sketch.
Yeah, let's try it as a play first.
As a play or something.
Immunity play.
Take it to Broadway.
Yeah, Broadway.
Yes.
Write it.
Who would you cast?
Wizard of Oz.
Well, the hairless, I would be David Sow.
Would be the hairless lion, right?
You would be the rice man.
You're the rice man.
The rice crow.
The robot, it doesn't matter who it is.
Steven?
No, because it's going to be an Android, like a metal Android.
Oh, no, we would have to cover up the face
to look at the actor.
Yeah, he still has to be able to sing.
Steven Yoon, Steven Yoon, John Cho.
Handsome to be covered up.
Yeah, yeah.
And then.
He could be Dorothy.
Steven Yoon is Dorothy.
No, Steven Lee is Dorothy.
Oh, Steven.
My brother is Dorothy, maybe.
Yeah.
Hey, Bob.
Oh, there would be no.
What's the dog's name?
Is there a dog?
A toto.
Oh, it's just a pot.
This is dog stew.
Just walk around with a pot.
But you carry it everywhere?
Carry dog stew.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's funny.
Or does he just have like a necklace of dog bones?
Dog bones.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's too racist.
We know we're going to have a regular dog in it.
Yeah, regular dog.
Come on, an Akita or like a fucking.
Oh, an Akita.
That's yeah, that's cute.
Let's Disney it up.
Yeah, or a Gashiba Inu.
Oh, my gosh.
And then what about the Wicked Witch of the East?
Is it the East?
Is it still an Asian person?
Michelle Yeo.
It's got to be a black.
Oh, a black woman.
A black guy with a big ass dick.
Wait, wait, so that's.
Now it's a big ass wizard.
It's a wizard now, not a witch.
I don't know.
I'll be called black up the biggest dick.
And when the house falls on him, his dick rolls up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would it be a yellow brick road?
It has to be.
That's too obvious.
It's too obvious.
Actually, that should, yeah.
It has to be.
It has to be the yellowish brick road.
The yellowish.
All right.
It's very yellow.
Yeah.
Or like a super red one.
Yeah.
Well, watch for it, guys, in five years.
Five years.
The wizard was.
We're writing it down tonight.
A YouTube red series.
How sad.
Yeah.
So if you're not cut up on the Game of Thrones, though.
Wow.
It's getting crazy.
But can we talk about it a bit or no?
Do people not like listening to it or no?
No complaints.
There is.
I think it's making people watch it.
I see people going, I have to watch it now
to see what they say about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Spoiler alert.
I think it's turning in, turning a little weird.
You've always come up with some negative shit to say.
I'm OK with it.
The show was great last week.
Today was yesterday's was great.
But to capture a white walker.
That's bringing them to.
King's Landing.
King's Landing and go, here's a white walker to convince
Cersei.
Fuck Cersei.
She don't give a fuck.
Fuck Jamie.
They don't, she doesn't give a fuck.
No, Jamie.
No.
Oh, Jamie or Jamie.
But like, Cersei, go fuck yourself.
She's going to be the Mad Queen.
She's for sure going to kill everyone.
You know, wait, they're going to bring one down there and what?
She's like, oh, OK.
Yeah, I have a white walker here.
His name is the mountain.
That's right, because she already has a zombie.
The mountain.
Yeah, the mountain is a zombie.
She has a fucking Frankenstein.
Yeah.
And also, my fear is that if the show turns out to be this,
everyone's going to join forces.
Well, they're going to call it truce between Cersei, you know,
I hope they don't get it.
Danny, I hope not.
I think that Jamie is going to be the one to kill Cersei.
But if it goes into that whole thing,
it'll really upset me.
And here's another thing I don't like,
is they're trying to put a wrench between Sansa and Arya.
Yeah.
It's bullshit, man.
We spent six years waiting for that reunion.
Yeah, don't take it away from us.
Yeah, let them get along for a bit.
I mean, that sisterly love.
They've been through so much.
I need them to like.
You know how they pant nails with each other or whatever?
Like when her sister would take a shower to go to like her
and her sister?
That's weird that you guys do that.
For the umpteenth time.
Yeah, yeah.
But anyway, I'm going to change.
We just did it tonight.
Yeah.
But overall, you know what my real sadness is?
What?
What am I going to watch afterwards, Don?
What's your other shows?
I don't have another one.
He doesn't.
This is the only show you watch consistently?
He's ever watched in a long time.
Yeah, I mean, I've seen all of the West Wing.
It's a great show.
Oh, that's great, right?
We stopped.
He stopped halfway through West World.
I don't know why he fell off.
West World got a little weird for me.
Oh, it gets better after that.
You got to get through those two episodes that are kind of slow.
Oh, really?
It's so good again.
Yeah, even better.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So I'm going to watch that then.
Because there was a point where Dennis Hannibal Lecter
or whatever.
What's his name?
Anthony Hopkins.
Anthony Hopkins, sorry.
Yeah.
He's out in the desert, and there's like a church,
like a steeple sticking out of the desert or whatever.
Yeah, I followed the child.
I'm like, this is turning very lost for me.
There's different timelines as a theory.
Yeah, but OK, Lost did that too.
Yeah, they did a whole year in Lost in the 70s.
Oh, yeah, Desmond, good time travel.
Do you remember that?
You know, I don't like that shit.
You know, it's not time travel.
It's just different timelines showing you at the same time.
Yeah, OK.
I'll spoil it for that, sorry.
I also like, what else another show that I like?
I saw All of the Wire.
That's a long.
And then I saw, oh, Battlestar Galactica.
Yeah.
To me, Battlestar Galactica is on par with Game of Thrones.
Oh, wow.
For its time, yes.
For its time.
Did you see it?
Yeah.
The new one.
Yeah.
I really like Battlestar Galactica.
But more of Stargate.
I know Game of Thrones.
It's not a Game of Thrones movie.
Are you crazy?
Wait, did you not see it?
No.
It's so good, though.
Battlestar.
It's so good.
It's very good.
First of all, let me just say this.
Is that you have to put things into context, too.
Fuck not.
OK?
I mean, I think Game of Thrones.
The best show ever.
Game of Thrones, right?
Definitely set up a bar, like a bar, which is great.
A show like that needs to do that,
so that all these other shows have to catch up and go,
we have to be that good, where it's not
going to be a cultural phenomenon.
So that's good.
But at the time, Battlestar Galactica was that show.
I think it raised the level.
There was prophecy involved.
There was shit going on where you were like,
like you had those shocking moments in that, too.
She's a Cylon.
You know what I mean?
Those moments.
If you've never seen Battlestar Galactica, I'm guarantee you,
watch the miniseries, so they did four miniseries,
then they did four seasons on top of that.
You have to watch the miniseries first,
because it just revs it up, right?
It's so fucking good, man.
Damn.
But you know what it's about?
No.
Don't ruin it.
No, I'm just going to give you.
I want to watch the miniseries now.
Can I just give you the premise of people listening?
OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe I can get them hooked on it.
Yeah, OK.
All right?
So essentially, humans, right?
We made robots, Cylons.
The Cylons revolted, right?
There was a war.
Terminator.
There was a war between humans and the Cylons, right?
And then there was a truce.
So the Cylons left, and they disappeared.
Now, Cylons look back in the original show,
they were metallic and clunky, right?
So now the show picks up.
Every year, we send a human dignitary or something
to the space station to meet with a Cylon representative
to negotiate.
But for 40 years, they don't show up.
So they just send a convoy over there.
We have a general sitting there waiting.
They never show up, so they just get back and they go back,
right?
But 40 years in, they show up.
I don't know where.
But instead of Cylons, a human being walks in.
They evolved.
And what they did was they infiltrated their society, OK?
So now you don't know who's a Cylon or who's not.
And some of them can be like sleeper cells.
Yeah, some of them, they don't even know that they're Cylons.
They don't know themselves that they're Cylons.
They don't even know.
Yeah, so they have families and all that stuff,
and then they get turned on.
It's a really good show, dude.
Have you guys ever thought of we're just all androids?
We don't know it.
At some point, we're going to get turned on.
If they, I was probably the first version of Android then.
You're 1.0?
Yeah, I mean, they have to improve on this model.
I think I'm a very, very late model,
because I am highly emotional.
And my emotions have 50 different categories.
No, you're an early model, then.
Why?
Because early motion is the hardest thing
to capture in a cyborg.
In every show, like data, right?
Star Trek, right?
They make a version with emotions.
It usually goes faulty.
Oh, like the last alien we saw, the Covenant.
Right, same thing.
They remove the emotions out of it
so he could be more functional and objective.
So you would be the first version.
Oh, you're right, you're right.
They add too many.
I want to know about, since we never talked about it
on this podcast, I want to know about the band
that you were in called Lax and Superb.
What about it?
I always just thought you guys were like a garage band.
I didn't know that you guys were on television.
What the fuck?
Well, television is a stretch.
We did cable access.
That's a big deal when you're that young.
We had some reviews.
We had some reviews from a paper.
You had reviewers?
Is it from papers?
We're saying that's the worst band in San Diego, but yeah.
And it was me, Kevin Shull, Jensen Roof, and Alan Meadows.
How did you guys, how did you know each other?
High school, I grew up with these kids.
Oh, damn.
And who played what?
Kevin, guitar, Jensen, bass.
I played the keyboards, and Alan played drums.
Whose song?
Kevin.
Did you guys make an album?
And Jensen.
Yeah, they did.
And so can we find this?
Well, if you look at my, on YouTube,
you can see our performance.
Oh, it's on there.
I got to pull up with it on Instagram.
It's called Lassen Suburb.
You can see our performance.
I think it's like a six minute version of it.
And I don't know how to get ahold of the music.
I think you should re-release.
I think you should remaster.
Remastered version.
What type of music was it?
It was Psychedelic.
It was Psychedelic.
And I got thrown out of the band for, well, it was Betrayal.
That's all.
How?
Tell us.
Oh, wait.
All right, so we were doing these gigs.
I was, what, 20 years old, 21 years old.
And we used to play this place called The Metaphor, which
is in Escanido.
It was a coffee shop.
And we met this guy named Dave, who was like 50,
and his roommate, who was like 50.
But they were good musicians.
But one of them was completely fried.
His brain was fried from drugs.
But they could play.
And Kevin and Kevin, we were young.
We're in our 20s, right?
So in my head, I'm like about marketing and all that stuff,
right?
It's like, so then Kevin just one day goes,
they're in the band too now.
So now we got six people in the band.
Now in my head, I'm like, if we're
in the cover of any magazine, I'm on the edge.
Half your face.
Yeah, half my face, OK?
So I go, dude, they're old.
It looks weird now.
Yeah, but they're really talented, good songwriters.
I don't give a fuck.
So I stopped going to some rehearsals that they would go do.
And then Dave and the other guy, the old guy,
they convinced Alan and those guys to fire me.
And when they fired me, it was like a portrayal.
It's a mutiny.
I mean, I went to Mount Soledad in La Jolla in my fucking car.
There's a gigantic cross there.
Oh, coming to Jesus moment.
No, I just bent like tears in my eyes.
And I prayed to God that they would all die.
Oh my god.
Something like that.
Reverse on.
Wait, where are they now?
Jensen lives in LA.
Alan lives in San Diego.
Kevin lives in Chicago.
And you keep in touch?
I want to keep in touch with Jensen.
Tell us the story.
OK, hold on, you guys, he's got a confession to make here.
I love him.
I grew up with him.
But he's the type of guy, if he text you.
OK, I just want to say anyone listening to it right now.
If you text me, that doesn't necessarily mean
that I'm going to text you back.
The odds are 90% of the time, I'm not.
Fact.
I don't text like my manager called me five times a day.
And I just didn't feel like the call was going
to be anything pleasant.
I think she's trying to put me on tape for this animation thing
I don't want to do.
Just avoid the call.
Right, so I just completely avoid the call.
People text me like.
The worst.
What?
The worst.
Why?
I don't want responsibility.
No, no, no, no.
Just answer the call.
No, because I don't know how to say no.
So then I go, OK, I'll do it.
And the next thing I know, I'm doing a show at a laundromat
for some fucking open mic.
This is true.
That is true.
I say yes to everything because I
don't want to let people down.
So now I just.
So all of LA has my number now, because I
have to be the one to say no.
Yeah, so she is.
Like all the guys that open for me on the road,
they call Kalaila.
They'll come up to me at the club.
They go, hey, what about I go and call Kalaila.
I don't want to do it.
I have nothing to do with it.
Because he used to make promises to these guys.
Like, yeah, you're coming on the next day.
I'd have nine people open for me.
He promised nine people.
Yeah, yeah.
Four hours for Bobby.
It was so fucked up what he did to them.
Yeah, and it would crush people.
Like people would cry.
It was devastating.
So I don't pick up the phone and I don't return taxes
or I don't return emails.
Yeah.
It's almost as if.
But also I do that with a mail.
I have never opened the mailbox ever in my whole entire life.
Wow.
I check them.
Do you know why?
Why?
Because I don't want to deal with it.
Jury duty.
Don't want to know about it either.
You know, taxes.
I don't want to know about it.
You have accountants for that.
Yeah, but I got.
But the reason why I got accountants
because I'd never paid taxes and the IRS was after me
and I had to get accountants.
But my point is that I'm the kind of guy
if I get a fucking speeding ticket.
I think I've said this before.
I'll drive super fast on the freeway
so that the wind can blow it off my fucking.
Secret plead.
I don't know what it is.
I think the wind took it.
Yeah, yeah.
And maybe it's probably I'm a 46 almost.
Maybe I should grow up a bit.
But Jensen, so Jensen, you know, he gets really offended
really quickly.
He was one of your best friends growing up.
Yeah, he was one of my best friends growing up.
And I just want to deal with it.
If he knows that one of every 50 taxes may get a response.
But he'll tell us what can happen.
But you can't see he's a regular guy.
Well, tell us.
So what he did was, what he did was,
up until four months ago,
is he texted me every day for a year.
Is this still your number?
Is this still your number?
Every day.
That's not an exaggeration.
It's not exaggerating.
He hated it so much.
He hated it so much.
It was driving me crazy.
He went to the Verizon store
and they couldn't figure out how to block the number.
And it was just this whole debacle
and he wanted to change his number.
Yeah, yeah.
It was just like psychological.
Wait, wait, wait, why do I deserve it?
For not responding.
Why?
How about this, George?
Why don't you lose my number then?
Oh.
Okay.
Jorah.
Jorah, you fuck.
You're right.
I'm admitting that it's a character defect.
I'm admitting that I have to change.
I have to change.
I don't know when.
And you want to be friends with him, right?
I love him.
Oh, okay.
He's super talented.
He really is.
I mean, in terms of songwriter, bro.
Up there.
No, I'm telling you right now, he's really good.
And he's a good editor.
He worked for MTV for years editing
the real world or all that bullshit, you know?
But he's a talented guy.
He went to film school.
I have a couple of his movies and DVDs,
some documentaries he made.
That's why I love.
You didn't like this guy.
That's why I like Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches.
Oh yeah, you do like Pork Tenderloin.
Because he's from Indiana and he did a documentary
about Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches.
Like he went to Indiana and would try to find the best one.
Oh, shit.
They're the greatest sandwich.
I only know about Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches
through Jensen.
Every time you say Pork Tenderloin.
Also, he did a documentary on fountains.
What kind?
This guy's awesome.
Like fountains at college campuses where the history.
But it's pretty interesting.
What is interesting?
Yeah, he's a weird guy.
He's a weird guy.
But he's a talented guy.
And I would love him my life.
But dude, it's like, I can't deal with Delia.
Chris Delia yells at me every time I see him.
You don't return to tax!
Yeah.
I could not even you, King.
Not even you, King.
White lightning?
White lightning.
I'm sorry.
It's a character defect.
Do you ever notice I just give my number out to people?
Yeah, it's kind of.
Let me just hand it out.
Anyone can give my number.
Because I'm never going to pick it up.
So you just have all these mixed?
Yeah.
I mean, every once in a while, Frank, if I get a text,
I'll read them all.
Frank died.
I'll call.
And I'll go, Frank died?
Who's Frank?
Yeah, who's Frank?
You know, or something.
Yeah.
But is that bad?
Am I a bad guy?
No.
You just can't be bothered.
Ask Will Sasso.
When Will Sasso left Matt TV, Will Sasso, when I was on Matt
TV, was the nicest guy one could ever be.
When I got on that show, nobody liked me.
I don't give a fuck.
That's the truth.
And I didn't like.
I didn't like me.
He loved me.
He invited me to his house.
He took me out.
He introduced me to people.
And then when he left the show, I just didn't return his phone
calls ever again.
And he was mad at me for like five years.
And then one day, I ran into him and said, do you not like me?
I go, Will has nothing.
I love you.
And then now, if he texts or calls, I return it.
Because he's one of the only ones.
Wow.
Because we're at a level now where it's like,
I already know that it deeply offends him.
And I want him in my life.
So if he texts me, I'll text him back.
Yeah.
Why haven't we had him on the podcast?
I love him.
We're going to get Will Sasso on.
Is he just not in town or something?
The thing with Will is that he doesn't
want to talk about personal things.
I mean, I'm sure there's a million other things
we can talk about.
I know.
But then I don't want to also.
We ever molested.
I want to ask him that.
Yeah.
I'm sure he's, oh, I don't think I don't.
I see him on podcasts all the time.
I don't believe you.
Yeah.
No, I will.
I want to do it.
I want to do it.
Hey, guys, we got people wanting to do our podcast.
We got to do this.
Yeah, you can't name drop like that.
I'm not going to name drop.
I wasn't named.
How was Jamie Kennedy and Paulie Shore name dropping?
Their names and they were dropping them.
Thanks, Gilbert.
I love them both.
Yeah.
They both helped me a lot.
I love them both.
Yeah.
OK?
Yeah.
Woo.
Time for a question.
Time for a question.
What are we at at time?
Right under an hour.
Wow.
So this is a long one.
So sit down.
This is from our friend Patricia.
Anyways, hey, guys.
I'm 20 years old and I'm living in Malaysia.
I have a half Indian, half Filipino parentage
with my mom raising me and my siblings as a single mother.
She grew up in a poor family in the Philippines
and had to be mature at a very young age, which I think
is the reason as to her being brutally blunt to me
ever since I was a kid.
She raised me in the way her parents raised her,
where they had to be tough to survive.
I always found it hard to talk to her
and was closer to my dad, but he passed away.
So with him passing, I found it very difficult in my teenage
years just, and it was like hell between me and my mom.
But now that I'm older, our relationship
is way better despite not seeing eye to eye
in almost everything.
Growing up, her bluntness really affected me
and eventually learned to just keep quiet and not
saying anything to avoid a bigger argument.
This is also mainly the guilt because she
has to stand the country to take care of us,
leaving her family in the Philippines,
leaving with no one of her own race.
But lately, with me trying to pursue art and her pursuing
me to be a nurse, we've been arguing way too much again,
and I'm second guessing myself.
I don't want to be a burden to her even longer,
but I grew up never voicing out my opinion,
always accepting her decisions out of guilt.
And for once, I want to stand up for myself.
But with her being blunt and saying things like,
I don't even have talent for it,
I keep feeling guiltier by the day,
and even starting to resent her a little.
And I know I shouldn't because I know her,
she's not saying it to be mean, it's just her being honest.
My art just doesn't impress her,
but it still hurts and I don't want to hate her.
And I don't want to hate me.
I already talked about this, man.
It's like, it's almost good that you have a dad
or mom like that because you pushed through it.
If you think that my parents know exactly what I do,
they don't.
They know now, but I don't give a fuck.
I have to do it, it's what I'm doing.
They may not, she may not respect you for it now, today,
or in the immediate future,
but she will eventually as long as,
and I think that-
Yeah, when she makes it.
Yeah, but she's, if you just, you know,
if you just, like Bobby said, push through it,
work hard towards it, you know,
show her that you can, you know, have this life outside
of being a nurse, whatever that is.
Over time, she'll get it.
And I think, and you can't blame the mother too.
She's very similar to my mom where it's just,
whatever it takes to survive is what you have to do.
That's just the way she thinks it's unchangeable.
And I will never expect her to be fully happy
with what I do with my life now,
but there's a mutual respect there.
When I first told her like,
hey, sorry, I did finish nursing school.
I spent a ton of money, you know, on student loans,
where I borrowed a lot of money,
but I don't wanna be a nurse.
Imagine hearing that.
Imagine like, well, fuck, like now you're in your mid-20s
and you're turning your back on something you spent,
you know, three years of your life doing
or working towards, but you gotta keep your foot down.
And like I said, she's not gonna love it now,
but she'll respect it, you know, in time.
It sucks having parents that had a hard life.
Yeah.
Like my parents grew up during the Korean War.
My mom, you know, my mom's, she saw her sister die.
A military truck ran her sister over.
I think I've talked about that before.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
When she talks about it, she still gets choked up too.
Yeah, when I was a kid, I'd be like,
dad, my friend Billy, he just fell off his skateboard
and he broke his ankle.
And now he can't skateboard anymore.
People are like, oh yeah, in Korea, in the Korean War,
my friend Hon, his head explode.
I just one up.
You know what I mean?
Like he won up you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like whatever you have to tell them is nothing.
It means nothing.
My mom's favorite story is when we were younger
and we would complain about being hungry
and you know, kids were like, I'm starving.
And we're not starving.
We just had a meal like four hours ago.
And she would constantly remind us like,
do you know that your uncle Carlo used to eat rice
with strawberry toothpaste?
Like that was his.
It was like toothpaste and rice.
Because it was a flavored toothpaste.
And he would eat it with rice.
That's how poor they were.
And when she was really hungry to try to kind of stall
her hunger a little bit, they would eat like pieces
of rock salt to try to like fill up the stomach.
So your stomach would blow, you know,
and you would feel seemingly full.
That's what my mom did.
And because she was one of 10 children
in a very, very like poor household.
So yeah, like in her, and I get this, Patricia,
like it's, we get it.
We get what it's like to have parents like that
who don't see anything for you, but you know, just one job.
But you know, you just.
I was at a hamburger, when hamburger Hamlet, Hamlet
used to be in Beverly Hills.
It was a restaurant called Hamburger Hamlet.
I loved it.
Steak fry is really good.
I was sitting there and some kid got this,
like eight year old kid got a hamburger.
The waitress brings it to her.
His dad goes, okay, Billy eat it.
He goes, I'm not hungry.
I want spaghetti.
Uh-oh.
And he went, all right, in three hours,
you know, your mom will get her to make you spaghetti.
They left the hamburger there.
God.
If I did that, he wouldn't make me eat it, my dad.
But I ain't getting spaghetti.
I'm eating that hamburger until I eat it.
Yeah.
Three days later, if I still haven't eaten that hamburger,
I'm not gonna get a new meal.
Yeah, you go to sleep hungry.
If that specific hamburger I have to eat.
Yeah, yeah, or you go to sleep hungry.
We weren't allowed to complain.
We weren't even allowed to leave a morsel of rice
on the plate.
Yeah.
Like it's just, you know, it's wasteful.
Like it's just a different, a different world.
And so I always tell Bobby, it's like,
we lived a very charmed life,
a very, very easy life compared to our parents.
Who did?
All of us.
And even when I, you know, I lived off of
pay less shoes and bus passes, like bus tokens.
Like I didn't have fancy things growing up,
but compared to my mom,
I lived a luxurious life, a very privileged life.
But you know what, I want to argue against that.
Sometimes people grew up during war-torn, you know,
at times,
but that doesn't necessarily mean
that my spiritual pain is,
you know, not worthy.
I think spiritual pain is a fucking privilege.
No, spiritual pain.
I'll tell you why.
No, just stop.
Ideas are only like people with-
Spiritual pain.
Spiritual pain is the worst pain that you could have.
It's worse than diarrhea.
It's worse than fucking gallstone bladder, whatever.
A bullet wound, spiritual pain is the worst kind of pain,
friend.
It's not worse than hunger pain.
I'm telling you that right now.
Spiritual pain comes after you've been fed.
That's something a well-fed person says.
I'm having a spiritual breakdown, really,
because I'm fucking hungry, bitch.
When you have to survive and your basic needs aren't met,
food, clothing, shelter.
Oh, man.
What, I'm not eating, my soul's being raped.
Come on.
No, you're not getting what I'm saying, but I digress.
Anyway.
Patricia.
Patricia, stay in it.
Stay in the game.
Stay in the game.
Stay in the game.
Well, that was a nice, great podcast.
Any shows?
No.
Yes, he does.
Come on.
Where am I going?
He doesn't want to think about it.
August 25th, Bobby will be in New Mexico at Star Casino.
Ooh.
I think it's in Albuquerque.
August 25th.
It's in Albuquerque.
You're not here until the 20th.
Oh, he is coming back just in time for the fight.
McGregor may be another nice.
Yeah.
The slaughter.
You think, you think?
Tell us your thoughts.
If boxing rules, it's slaughter for McGregor.
If it was mixed martial arts, it's slaughter for Mayweather.
If there's no way you can set up that fight where it's fair.
Will you say he won't win one round?
It also depends on what the gloves, what ounces,
the gloves are.
Are they still trying to get the smaller?
Into what, eight?
Eight.
Eight would be still, though.
What is UFC blue gloves?
Four.
And then right now, they're currently at 12.
Or 10, or whatever, 10.
They're at 10 right now.
I would do four.
Oh, boxing rules, four.
Oh, Jesus.
Really?
So what else would you change, aside from the gloves?
And have the ring smaller so he can't run around.
The ring is already smaller than a regular size octagon.
No, make it smaller.
I'll tell you why, because he can't grapple, right?
Yeah.
My point is this, is that a fight is when you're fighting.
Not when you're running around and dodging.
Oh, I see.
You know what I mean?
But he stopped at that.
Fight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mayweather doesn't fight.
He wants to win, because there's judges.
That's fine.
I get it.
But it's not fair to Conor.
So I think it's going to be a slaughter.
But if Conor can hit him, one good one with his left.
Good night.
Good night.
You think?
Conor's left is devastating.
I mean, it knocked out Josie Aldo.
It's knocked out Eddie Alvarez.
I mean, it's a scary one.
And this is how scary Conor is.
I know he fought Max Holloway, but he definitely
won that fight between Max Holloway.
Max Holloway ran over Josie Aldo.
But that's how good Conor is.
This is when Max Holloway was younger, too.
And Conor did have to fight with the Torrent ACL.
I'd want to see Max Holloway and Conor again now, though.
Because I think that Max Holloway is a completely,
he's really growing into a different kind of beast.
Yeah.
But no one's better than that Robert Whitaker.
Love him.
Love him.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening, guys.
That's it.
That's it.
That's all I got.
Sorry, Jorah.
Sorry, Jorah.
I made a laugh, Jorah.
Make sure you follow us on Instagram, Tiger Belly,
on Twitter, at TheTigerBelly.
And email us any questions or unhelpful advice
at TheTigerBelly at gmail.com.
You can follow Calyla on all social media.
At CalamityK.
I also want to do a quick shout out
to my friends in Hawaii, Sean and Chase,
who we went out in the ocean with.
And they're local guys.
And I've been friends with Sean for a few years now.
And he's awesome.
So thanks for taking the time to take us girls around.
And yeah.
Cool.
What else?
Did I not want to mention something else?
I had it in my head.
Are you forgetting something?
I feel like you forgot something.
I had it in my head.
But you know me, it's like the ADD.
Oh yeah, you lost 15 pounds in Hawaii.
Oh my god.
Quite the opposite.
Fresh at 15?
Oh my, I just ate everything there.
It was like ube, pancakes.
You know, it's for somebody for a Filipino,
Hawaii is sort of a dream.
Locomoco, just rice for breakfast.
Everything that I like is there.
I'll be honest.
I'm not like a fan of Locomoco.
How?
I'll say that because I like meatloaf.
I like meat patties.
And I love burgers.
But sometimes, Locomoco, maybe having a good one,
if they're just so dense, that it's just like.
But that's the beauty of it.
There you go.
The rice, the gravy, the meat, the egg on top of it,
you break the egg, the onions, ugh, so good.
Man, your face, Jesus.
I know, it was just like, it was such a dream, you know?
And I don't know if you guys know this,
but I actually haven't gone on vacation
or traveled that far since my fiasco in the Philippines.
So this was a really big confidence boost for me
to be able to not only travel that far,
but to do as much as I did.
And crossing my fingers.
But I think I'm turning a new leaf.
And I think that I'm just going to keep moving forward
without the fear of something possibly happening
to my heart.
Talk to my cardiologist today.
I have a zio patch on right now.
Oh, that's what that was.
And I told him, it's like, I just want to fucking
leave this in the dust.
As a matter of fact, I don't even want to know what's
wrong with me anymore.
Boom.
I think it's almost better if I just, like,
I'm unaware of what might go wrong.
So I can just, you know, move on like I used to.
So that was a really big deal for me.
And it was a really special time.
And I'm so glad, like, Bobby and my whole family was there.
That's awesome.
So guys, well, now that Kalyla can travel.
Maybe we can go to Australia now.
Post on the, if you're listening,
and post on the Instagram post of this,
or on the YouTube comments, where should Kalyla travel next?
Wait, are you coming with me?
Yeah.
OK, you promise?
Only if it's, I think I'm reading you my passport.
But yeah, we can finally do the Philippines trip.
Yeah, no, I would love that.
I would absolutely love that.
You have no more fear anymore?
I'm down.
I have plenty of fear.
Talking about it, my hands are sweaty.
Touch it.
OK, I can see it from here.
I can see all that water.
No, like, I have a lot of anxiety still.
But like, I'm working on it.
I've been reading this book, and it's, oh, it's like helping
me out tremendously.
It's the Bible.
You know, they always tell you, you go to, like, you go to,
you know, I see a therapist and stuff.
They're always, like, meditate, do this.
But there's a better way.
You don't have to fight your anxiety.
You just have to live with it.
And you have to learn to live comfortably with it.
To say, you know what?
To not have a fear of that fear, to allow it to be there,
is I'm telling you have to battle.
Because when you get the wave of anxiety,
that's first sense of, like, nervous arousal,
and you don't know why or where it's coming from,
then you think, oh, is it my heart?
Am I dying?
Then it's like that sense of doom.
What, when it becomes the avalanche effect,
is when you start to fear that sensation.
I don't want this to happen again.
So when you start to feel it, it just snowballs
into something worse.
So if you initially feel it, and you say, you know what?
This is just nervous arousal.
It's uncomfortable.
My heart rate's going to go up.
But I'm going to allow it.
I'm going to sit with it, and I'm going to let it be.
And as a matter of fact, I'm going to ask for more.
It's almost like counterintuitive.
Give it.
Give me your best shot.
Give all the anxiety to me.
Versus fearing it and trying to push it away.
Take it on, yeah.
And there's this book called There.
And I think it's the same writer as Panic Away.
And a Tiger Belly listener, and I'm telling you,
I forget your name, but you saved my fucking life.
And you're the reason that I even had the balls to travel.
She sent the book?
To Hawaii.
No, he didn't send it.
He wrote me, and he was like, look, this really helped me out.
And it's been a godsend for me.
I'm telling you, I've been through therapy for so many years,
and nobody quite puts it like this book does.
It's by a guy named Barry McDonag.
And if you suffer from crippling anxiety to the point
where you no longer feel like a shell of yourself,
you don't want to travel, you're always
thinking about hospitals and the vicinity.
You don't want to get in a car because you
don't want to be too far away from your safe place.
My home, this is my safe place.
You need to read this book.
And I think that in time, when you practice
allowing that nervous arousal to live with it,
it just becomes less of an enemy.
It's not an enemy.
It's just your adrenaline and your nerves,
and you just have to see it like that.
And it's never going to go away.
You just have to say, OK, it's here.
And work with it, not against it.
So I don't know if that helps anyone, but it helps me.
So if you suffer from it, try the book,
and let me know how it helps you.
But whoever wrote, I'll look back into my Instagram messages.
Thank you for that, sir.
Thank you.
You're the best.
Cool.
Also, packages, if you want to send anything to our PO box,
the address is.
1626, North Wilcox, number 161, Hollywood, California,
9-0-0-2-8.
Bye, guys.
Bye, see you guys next week.
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