TigerBelly - Episode 105: Pauly Shore & The Chinese Baby
Episode Date: August 23, 2017Pauly and Bobby talk spa behavior, jumping out of busses, sharing hotel rooms, indecent proposals, and a racist from Shreveport, Louisiana.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, welcome to Tiger Belly man Bobby Lee that was the belly house
Tiger Polly. I said not to talk until I introduce you. Okay. I have a fucking thing. I got a do bro
Welcome to Tiger Belly. I got Kalyla in the house. Yeah. Yeah, we got Gilbert. Whoa. Whoa. We got Gil
George by
And we got a special get we got a fucking special guest here, man
And I'm really intimidated by this guy because he raised me. Um, we got Polly shore in the house
Give him a round of applause everybody. We got Polly shore in the house, bro
Well, what you making the face? I love the talk now. You can talk now once I introduce you bro
So now it's now you sound like a fucking Mexican
But before we get started because I know you're gonna go in the whole thing like I was your landlord
No, I'm not doing that. I want to ask your girl a question. Yeah
Yeah, what's it like having sex with Bobby for real not jokingly not like a performance art
What is that situation where it's uh, it's it's a full
Psychological experience. No, what's it like for real like deceit does he go down on you and stuff? Um, yeah, he likes it
Yeah, we we play
Hold on. Let me finish. We don't open with it
You don't open asking my girl about that. Well, I just want to know because I think you're lucky. I am
Yeah, oh, no, thank you for one time. Finally, somebody knows. I think you're lucky
You get to be next to him. It's a gift, right? It's like being with a human and a pet at the same time
It's like it's this is your place and then there's cats here and then you got Bobby. Yeah, right? Yeah, and he's like a little pet
Yeah, um
Let's start from the beginning. Can we start from the beginning or what?
All right, first of all gonna just say this why do you think that you know that I'm not Chinese right right?
What am I you're Korean? All right?
So but how come for the last 25 years every time I see me your fucking eyes look super Chinese, dude
I don't know what to say
Yeah, very good observation. Yeah, you're more like Filipino
Oh, so you know the variety you know the rice you wouldn't call him Chinese. No, no only me
I look Chinese because of my eyes
Yeah, I mean you look, you know, you look very Asian
Yeah, he doesn't look as Asian. Yeah, but like since I've known you when you bring me up on stage
You always go Chinese people all that kind of stuff. I know I stopped doing that. I know but you did at the spa later night
I can't help it
We go to the Korean spa
There's a bunch of Koreans standing around and I don't even plan to meet Paul there
I just run into him in there, right? And I won't even know he's there
I'm taking a shower and then I'll open all here Chinese
The luckiest yeah, we are the luckiest and then I'll turn around and I'll have a panic attack. Oh my god
He's here. He's here. He's here. Right. No, what happens is is, you know, we're in this life of ours
You know what I mean? We're all going through different things like, you know stress and bullshit like Bobby gets depressed
You know, I mean we all get depressed we get sad and stuff like that and the Asian spa
The Korean spa is the only place that Bobby can go to feel really comfortable and feel really like oh
I can finally let go. Yeah, you know, I'm not around
Anyone around my agents my girl no movies no TV
I can just be here by myself and he goes in there and he's scrubbing his little fucking vaginas
I'm like I found the it's like I cornered the animal
I cornered him and I scream. I'm like Chinese Chinese baby
Yeah, and he just like fucking gets his whole face gets sad
I'm so sad and then literally he makes the spa his it like within he does it really quick three minutes
And he leaves, you know, I mean, yeah, you can't really enjoy yourself knowing that I'm there
Yeah, you do feel that then. Yeah, of course
Because I always think I'm being sly. No, I gotta go
No, I know you don't I know you don't know I love you be there with you know, I love you
But you don't go in the cold you don't go into the hot you don't go into the hot you just did yeah
I do the shower in your steam room and then I go to the cold punch. I leave yeah every time
But um, I what I love it there because I love to be able to you know, I see them and in and half of them
I'd say I've been going there for so long. I actually have a pass. Yeah, you bought a thing
I'm the only white person that has a pass
Yeah, one year past you can be $900 and you can go all the time. Yeah, and then you I'm Jewish
I start doing the math. I'm like is it worth it? How many times a week do I go here? Yeah, and I go probably about five times a week
Wow, yeah, I was there today. Yeah, of course. It's the best right because it's low-key. Yeah, the steam room is super hot
Yeah, and you love Asian people obsess. Yeah, so it's like everything in one
Yeah, yeah, and and the ladies so mean at the front which we love. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, what do you mean?
She's so mean. She's so mean. She's so fucking mean
They won't even look at you sometimes they'll just go and they'll throw you the key
Mm-hmm, like like your garbage. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Yeah, and then there was like a sort of a sex thing going on there
Yeah, but did you ever figure that out or no? I tried you because the chicks were fucking hot. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, like they wouldn't let any white people in there at all
Yeah, one rode in and said that her brother was actually part of I don't want to put him out
But he was part of the vice squad that busted them and it was some type of what you guys were talking about
It was they would they had a karaoke, but it was it was like there's no 40 Asian ladies and white
Yeah, I try to get in. I remember you one night you go. How do you do it? And they're like no, no, no, not for you
I gotta pass though not like your dick
Because I've seen your dick too. You have a very big dick for your size. Mm-hmm, right? I don't know. I mean, it's beautiful
Mm-hmm. It's curved. You know me. There's like on the veiny, you know, yeah, his dick is pretty pure
Yeah, yeah, that felt like when it was in your butt when I'm back in the 90s
Dude, I got so many great pictures of you you do yeah, cuz I've been working on my documentary for a while
It looks awesome and I you know, I'm digging up all these photos of you. Yeah, such a little innocent little Asian baby
I
So yeah, it'd be for those of you don't know um they know they don't know a lot of people don't know
I just want to know what it's like having sex with your babe. I know but I know we already did that
We already did that part through it. We did it. We went through that part right there. It was a little uncomfortable, but it's fine
No, okay
We did it. All right, so I just want to start from the beginning now. Okay, all right
You this like an Asian talk show. Yeah, like it's an Asian place in Tokyo. No, it's here in in America
I feel like I'm in an age like there's hello kiddies around or some shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's very you know, it's very Asian in here
It's like Bobby's Playhouse. Yeah, so um, I was a doorman at the La Jolla comedy store
Quick synopsis make it quick. They want to know about your fucking penis and your pubic hair
So now it sticks out. I know it. Let me just give them a little bit of a fucking foundation for a fuck. Okay, Polly
I mean, all right, so you you discovered in
All right. No, I know I'm just in La Jolla. Yes, right. Yes. What was it about me that you liked?
What did my mom say my mom?
Yeah, she goes you're right right away. Just you know, I mean you were a star
I don't know what else to say. Oh, I want to cry. No, that's my heart. No, you were a star. Oh
That's thank you. No, it's no you really I'm honestly, dude
It's like you literally were my you're my pathway into LA
Because I opened for you
I got to meet everyone that I met through the comedy store, which is your family owns the club
That's my home comedy club and you without you. I would not be here
Mm-hmm. So I want to thank you for that, you know, um, yeah, I had some trauma
Opening for you over the over the years
You fondle me
Not like really like it's the same way you fondle your I know but you in a joking way, you'll grab my penis or something
Oh, you'll scratch my skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do right you go Chinese people you grab my face and by the way
Wait, what happened was I learned that behavior from you and I started doing it to other people, right?
Right. I think that that's not a good thing
Yeah, it is what it is it is what it is. Yeah, but it's beautiful and I would like to tell it is beautiful
I like to tell you a story to the people that you don't think you will remember. Mm-hmm, but we were in Columbus
Okay, you remember used to do tour bus thing. Mm-hmm. So there was this glimmer outside the comedy club
Yeah, that they were I don't know they were gonna take us to a strip club or something
Okay, and I was in the limo with two girls and they were on why is she's masturbating it?
She let you bring other babes home. No
And then yeah, I thought you were on stage
No, but then what happened was you walked in the limo you go
What about me did and you grab the girls and you brought them to the fucking your tour boss while I was in the limo
So now I had to chase you down go into the fucking
Tour boss and we were back there and then these two girls started blowing me and stuff and you taped me, right?
You had a videotape. Yeah, you started taping me and I've been asking for that tape all these years
You won't give it back bang bang bang bros.com
You don't still have that videotape I probably have it
Yeah, I probably have it remember there and then the warlock had got some from warlock was there remember
Yeah, warlock warlock was the road manager. Yeah, it was like one of the trim coordinators towards the end
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he looked like a warlock daunting name. Yeah, oh he had like he was like he's very like
Mythical-looking. Yeah, I met him. I met him because my my first road manager was this guy Nick light and Nick light was
Do you ever meet Nick? No, Nick's the best. He was
He was my road manager because I met him. I think through Rico Suave
That wasn't the punchline
Rico Suave was like the first big artist on Interscope Records. Oh, he was fucking huge
Yeah, like the biggest on MTV ever like kind of like MC Hammer, but for the Latinos
Yeah, yeah, right and and and Nick was was Rico Suave's road manager
And I think my manager Michael Rotenberg was like Frank
I don't know what it was but somehow Nick became my road manager. Oh and and then warlock used to be
Nick's like I guess guitar tech or some shit for Rico Suave and then they they came out with me
Yeah, yeah, that's how it was those dates though those dates that I did with you back in there
I remember one time we did a tour where you did are you scarred from all this? No, I look no
It's changed my life when Sam Kinnison used to bring you up on the road
You did the same tour and you brought me and then remember at the very end. We went to Sam Kinnison's graveyard
Yeah, I have all that video. Yeah, and we were really I mean it was a very solemn moment man because
Because I I mean I grew up watching him, you know, so I thought it was an honor kind of in a weird way
It was heavy. Yeah, I feel that I feel that way when I bring all the guys out, you know, yeah sandy danto
And I'm going out Benji
Benji Benji him like next month and I don't know I bring all the guys with me
You know, I like I love paying it forward. It's like the best thing in the world
Yeah, and I love training you guys out on the road
Oh my god, because like, you know like you can work the store for so long
But you got to get on the road in front of those packed crowds. Yeah, I like people and like the white crowds
Yeah, crazy fucking yeah, America, you know, oh my god, we were Trump supporters. Those are my fans. Yeah
The people that are pushing down the statues. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, I mean we would be in the stick sometimes, huh fuck. Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy, dude
Yeah, but fucking crazy. Did you ever hear the story about uh, what was this fucking name John the guy that jumped off the bus?
What was this fucking name?
John fuck. I was with Simone on the road and we were fucking uh
John shit Simone will tell you but we were on the bus and we're touring and we're fucking in the middle of like Macon, Georgia
And we're on this bus and the fucking dude. He's an opener junk
He worked fucking San Diego the bald guy John John got sick got sick. John is a got sick
Yeah, oh dude, he took acid. Yeah, you heard the story, right? Wait. Yeah, the story was this
Okay, so John and the gods are gonna fucking gnarliest. Yeah, we started together John of it
Then nicest guy in the world, right and funnier than very funny very funny guy. He's out of the business
It's so sad
But my point is that he went out opening for Pauly and then someone slipped him acid. I don't know what happened
We were in Macon, Georgia. We're at the after party at a bar. Yeah
Yeah, I had to wake up and do press and in Atlanta. So you're on a boss at night
He told him to stop the bus. No, we were watching like fucking Sam Kenneson documentaries or Lenny Bruce things or like, you know
Or watch a deniro in you know, where he played a comedian. Yeah, remember that yeah, I forgot that
Oh, yeah, that's called the king of comedy king of comedy
We're watching it, you know, just feeling all the comedy stuff. Yeah, and Austin he freaked out and he jumped off the bus
He ran into the woods right ran into the woods
But the bus was going fast. It wasn't like going slow was going fast. He fucking jumps
In the fucking woods and he just takes off. Yeah, and me and Simone we go chase them. Yeah, you know what I mean?
And I'm with Terrell remember Terrell. Yeah. Yeah, the big black guy. Yeah, the big black guy
We start going and then we fucking I'm like, dude get on the fucking bus, dude
I got fucking press in the morning you fucking weirdo. Yeah, you know, he's like, oh, you guys are trying to rape me and
You're trying to do you guys are trying to you know what I mean?
Yeah, guys are trying to do some shit with me, you know, I mean all that stuff and I'm like, dude
Just get on the fucking bus. Yeah, you know what I mean? Stop being a fucking asshole. Let's go
You know what I mean? You guys left them. Like if anyone should jump off the bus. I should jump off the bus
You know what I mean? That's the thing that was so fucked up about me
It's like I would go on tour and everyone around we was more fucked up than me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the one that's supposed to be fucked up
Yeah, I know right, but do you think that you have something to do with us us being fucked up or not?
So we
We get him back on the bus yeah, and I swear to God, dude, we keep going yeah, and he fucking jumps off again
I know I heard that yeah off again. Yeah, you know and the bus. Yeah, how I know about it
Because I swear to God Jeff Richards and I we're at the Taco Bell on on Western on Western on
Sunset around the area and we had heard from Simone that John is gone and he's in a hotel room
Yeah, end up in a hotel room. Yeah, my bus driver says I'm not driving him anymore
Yeah, like this is illegal and I'm gonna get in trouble right the bus driver says I'm pulling off to the next
Hotel so we just dropped him off at the hotel and I said dude you can't be on the bus anymore
You're like a hazard yeah legal thing right so then we heard that he had
Barricaded the hotel room door with this mattress. Yeah, and he thought that people are coming to get him
It sounds like paranoid schizophrenic, but he's I I know the guy. How was he he was a couple years older than me
But he's the nicest guy. He's a sweetheart. He used to be a teacher for the retards in San Diego
Yeah, but maybe it was like creeping in you know no he is normal now. Yeah. Oh, he was fed acid
Or PCP or something that's what I had heard yet. Yeah, okay, so then he ended up in a hotel room
And then he was on the tour anymore, right? No, yeah, his brother picked him up. Oh my god. How sad
Yeah, I'd be like little Stevie coming to get a little baby Bobby
Michigan or something and you go with sharing the same bed hotel room. Yeah, that wasn't cool
I'm still mad at you for that. No, cuz basically when you're on the road
You're on the bus and then you and then you pull over and you everyone goes to the hotel room
That's just you know you check in your key, but but but and I was like I don't want to say it was lonely
But I didn't I'm always going to my hotel room by myself and it was Detroit and was fucking creepy and our hotel was next to a fucking
Like a grave grave site
Gnarly
We're playing at chaplains, which is on the outside. Yeah chaplains. Yeah, which is like this comedy club connected to a bowling alley
It's fucking gnarly dude. Yeah, like really gnarly checks bounced from there
And after you know, we get a thing
I knock on Bobby's door and he's like looks and he's like what do you want and I'm like dude
I want to stay with you, you know, let me stay in your room with you and you're like, no
No, I don't want it and I'm like I'm like no for real. I want to stay and he's like you're kidding, right?
He goes you got your own sweet dude, and I'm like, I know but I want to stay next to you
I go and I looked in his room. He's got two beds. Yeah, I'm like, let me just stay in the extra bed
Let me just take the bed and you know and literally I'm like dude. He goes you're fucking serious. I go. Yeah
I'm serious. I want to be next to you and we can watch TV and just chill and talk as a friend
You know me so I jimmy my way in the room
I jimmy my way in the room and he literally curls on the floor and starts crying like he starts crying
For real for real cuz he really like it's it's it's devastating
Yeah, cuz that would mean that I'm not gonna get any sleep
Okay, cuz I my now I had to see what he's gonna do one Chinese eyes open, right?
Yeah, and I Chinese and I literally started crying and then he got mad he was like I'm gonna go to my room
He went back to his room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, really terrible sleep. Oh, that's my fault
You know, you don't mean you make money. You should have your own rule of it's weird. No
Yeah, I just wanted to hang with my friend
You don't know what he's like. He scratches my skin, but not in a friendly way like it has to get into the skin with his claws
My claws
See that's the thing is is that our relationship hasn't changed. No, it's got more fucked up and complex
But I also want to say to you that you really changed over the years though in the 90s and sexual now
I'm transvestite. No
No, no, no, what is it? I'm a transgender. No you in the 90s. I felt like you were difficult to reach
Mmm, and you became more human as tight with like now
I can really genuinely say that we're friends and that I love you before I was intimidated by you and it was more of an employer
Boss relationship
Yeah, and then it was you softened. Yeah, well, I was young
That's why I was super young. I mean when I made it. I was fucking 20. I
Was like the fucking I don't say I was the biggest star, but I mean like at the time
Yeah, you know me like in like in my teen or not my teens, but in my like all my 20s. How old are you?
I'm 45 now. You're 45
Shit, I gotta get out of here
The dream my you know the youtubers
Yeah
No, you have to understand something I hit and I was on MTV when MTV was the biggest thing in the world
I remember the biggest thing in the world. Yeah, you know, what's the biggest thing in the world Netflix now game of thrones
Okay, game of thrones. I was like the game of thrones back. I know you were you really were yeah
Yeah, it was like albums and movies and HBO and MTV and I was fucking going insane
And I grew up in the Philippines and you were huge there
Yeah, so it was yeah, so it was it wasn't a fucking amazing time
That's part of the reason why I'm doing my documentary, you know, I'm showing I have all that footage
Yeah from that era because that was before the internet and that was before and the younger generation doesn't really know
Yeah, my friend Joey who's editing this one this other documentary his girlfriend. She's Asian. She's cool. It was Halle
She's awesome, but she just Joey tries to tell her like dude, you don't understand like Polly Shore at the time was like
The fucking and she's like, I don't get it. Yeah, you know me
She's like I don't get it and then he'll show like stuff and she'll be like, I really still don't get it
No, no, she'll be like she'll be like wow. I didn't believe that or whatever
Especially because MTV then was just the coolest thing. It was literally the coolest thing. What do you think of MTV now?
Do you think it's just I don't watch it. Yeah, it's garbage. It's garbage, but
Even when I opened for you the first time in Vegas at the Riv Riviera was at the top of the rib
It was at 97. Yeah. Yeah 97 97 and it was 5,000 seats a show. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it was packed
Yeah, and and then you would go to his penthouse
Remember the marble and the grand piano
You know overlooking they I mean it was like because I'm I was waving tables that are I didn't know anything. Mm-hmm
I'm from San Diego. I don't know nothing and to see that and I remember Kevin was on your sitcom Kevin Westman
Oh, yeah, weiss man. Yeah, Kevin meeting him
Your mom was there and that was the night the first time I ever opened for you where she made me a regular
It was a life-changing event for me
Yeah, because she just walked up his mom and go you're a regular at both of my clumps and it was I literally teared up
I mean I could I didn't know what to say and then when I met went back to San Diego. Everyone hated me
Yeah, because of the fact that I had only been doing comedy for like a year
And I got plucked out by the shores and so there was I think a little jealousy
Yeah, and then I was a little cocky because I was you know vetted by you I mean the family
Yeah, you know, how's your mom now the family was that
Yeah, how's your mom she's
She's all right, you know, yeah, she's hanging though. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah, I know it's fucked up
It's fucked up. It's very but she's still with us. She's still with us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I mean, she's had this she's had this Parkinson's for at least 20 years, right? Yeah, you know, 20 years
Yeah, so fucking nightmare, but she's got the best help in the world
Alfred is her caregiver and he's fucking awesome and and he's the whole reason why she's still alive
I mean, he's been with her because there's some don't-care-givers out there for sure
I went to my mom's right and there's this fucking guy next to her. She's he just cries as fucking Taiwan. He's fucker. He's like
What the fuck's going on are we paying for this? Wow?
Yeah, your fucking don't-care-giver, you know, yeah, but yeah, it's a whole do comics still go over there and ends here
Sometimes I heard Ahmed was there recently. Mm-hmm. He's not a comic. No
It's awesome is Doritos joke is hilarious
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious
No, you know as crazy as Gary Shanling visited her
Yeah, before he passed away. Oh my god
They would always comics would text me and say your mom home. Can you set it up?
Da-da-da, and I'll text Alfred and I'll say our senior is coming over. Yeah, I mean or someone like that. Oh, yeah
So, you know, yeah, it's your your your club is also
The comedy I mean you must be ecstatic aware of the club is now the trajectory of the club
It's the hottest. It's the hottest come Jack. She's a big word for me. I know
But it's the hottest comedy club in America right now. I'll do to me. I
Know I know you're responsible, but I put my you should you should how do you how are you feeling about it now?
I mean, it's insane. I wish my mom could see it
You know, yeah, I wish she can walk in and feel it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because the energy is back
Yeah, every room is sold out on a weeknight
Yeah, and not only that now they're adding new main room shows like earlier shows that wasn't even
Possible in the 2000s or late 90s. I mean in the late 90s when I was there
I was working the door sometimes on a Saturday night in the OR you would get 20 people
I'm not kidding you. It was really bad and
I don't know what but now it's
I can tell you why why
Now I'll tell you why
Well, you know, there was a lot of there was a time where my mom wasn't well
And then you're scared to take away the business from her. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, because it's her business
Yeah, but then eventually like we brought in like consultants
You know mom mom over there consultants cleaned it from top down like computers, you know all that crap
Yeah, just going through out of the little things and then Tommy's gone
Yeah, you know what I mean because he was holding on and not letting people grow and he wasn't looking at as a business
It was stealing stealing
Yeah, but you know what I mean? He was stuck in some weird time period time period. Yeah, and then we Adam
Okay, yeah, and Eric is great, right and just clean just cleaned it cleaned it
And once the money started coming in then you put it back in the business
Clean up the carpets that you know, I mean all that there's like new bathrooms
Yeah, just all that stuff and then when you do that all the comics are like whoa
And then they stole it Rogan came back and this one came back and everyone just started coming back
And then all the comics now with their social media
Crystal Eya Eliza Whitney everyone's got like hundreds of thousands of followers and they tweet
Oh, I'm coming to the comedy store Mark Maron, but but but so if every comic you me
We all bring in people and it's a great environment. It's just flows and everyone's having a good time
Yeah, so it was like, you know, so do you you guys were a little bit more lenient about bringing in people that are not developed from the store
Yeah, yeah for sure because there used to be a rule where
It was I don't know said or not, but you would have to almost be raised at the store or be a store
That only made sense when my mom was there. Yeah after that. It didn't make sense anymore. It didn't make sense
Yeah, no because there's no mitzvah sure there to develop the yeah, right?
That's it. Yeah, she was yeah
I'm like one of the last comics that she passed developed and the developed
Yeah, and so I was great back then too. Yeah was great
Yeah, you know she liked you she would do it she did it with Roseanne Roseanne all the different comics
She was also feeling at the comedy store in the 90s where it was like the old West. Yeah, where you got to see things and
Participate that you would fuck. I mean, I remember eating a girl's pussy out in Lester away
I mean, they were just anything. I remember eating your pussy in the stair
Yeah
But there was also like just
Like no rules are like but comics could go through three hours. That's the another thing
That like then yeah, like Eric Eddie Griffin
And guys like that would go up and do Carlos three Carlos Menci would do three four hours
And wouldn't let us go up and then you so if you got a spot that doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna go up now
If you go over you're gonna get fucking in trouble
You have to do your time. I heard Menci was there the other night wouldn't even didn't even get to go up
So it's like you have it there's like rules now and it's there's a law and that it's just I think that makes the club so much
Better make makes one other people want to go there and well
I've always thought you know that the comedy star was the star
Yes, and they're the stars are not the stars. Yeah, and you have to respect it's an institution. Yeah, you have to respect the rules
Yes, yeah, yeah
So I feel like you're had there's a resurgence on you. Hmm. Are you is this like a are you doing a fortune there some shit?
Is that like a fortune teller like iPad? I feel it's a
Resurgence
But here what before I even get into the resurgence, I have a theory about you and Asians you were raised by them. Yes
Who?
The first was Suni and Ted
Suni Suni Ted was the bar manager at the club. Yeah, this was like in the 70s
Yeah, and then and
And Suni was married to Ted and they were both high and they're both high and they lived at my mom's house
Downstairs, so Ted would be the bar manager. He'd go to the club and Suni
She went to USC and she was like trying to get a doctor's degree or some yeah, I mean and
She used to take me to school
She would make me like hot pepper beef and Tupperware
Right, you'd always and I'd always like as a kid runner in my house and she always like she never cooked in the kitchen
She felt cuz she was like a housekeeper. She didn't want to go in the kitchen area
Yeah, so she brought all like the hot hot paint hot pans and and you know the cooking stuff
Yeah inside her bedroom
So I would smell the hot pepper beef and I'd fucking go in the bedroom and she'd have sticky rice. It was the stickiest rice
I was fucking obsessed and I'd go in there and she'd make me a ball and I'd sit there with her and she had like fucking gongs and
shit in there
Yeah, yeah, no not cooking but you know like little like
Because even still the bar staff up until a couple of years ago was a lot of Thai still I saw
What was his name the guy that was there for years?
There was Tony, right? There's um Huck Huck. I saw him in Thailand. Oh, you saw Huck in Thailand
Yeah, yeah, you guys at a meal or just right now. Oh, that's nice
I love that. He's got like a restaurant out there. Oh, wow. I love that guy like in Phuket. Wow
But
You didn't have a traditional operating airman. It must have been crazy
With Kinnison babysitting you. He was never babysitting me. The way it was is what I have to blow my one sec
No, it was I have like strategies and shit. Yeah
No, he
It was my parents divorce when I was three and then I like the phones are going off in here. That's good
Professional yeah, the phones on top of the back
Maybe there'll be some gongs
No, it was like Jack Perdue Dave Tyree Mike binder Argus Hamilton Mitchell Walters Alan Stevens
Those are the guys that really babysit me lowest Bromfield Wow
She babysat me for real. Yeah, and Kinnison just kind of took me under his wing because when I first started when I was like
17 18 years old Sam was at the Westwood Comedy Store
And he was a doorman there and my mom used to put him on last
Yeah, Sam used to go on at fucking 2 a.m. And he'd get get the stool
There'd be a stool on the fucking chair on the stage and he had screamed out of my house is my house
You take the stool and you throw it at the the six people that were in the audience like UCLA kids
And it's scamper off and then he'd come backstage and I'd be like shaking my head
And I'd be cleaning up and I give him food and then I leave the door open the back door open and let him sleep on the stage
Was labo back there too. Yeah, it was labo was like it was Joey Gaynor. It was Freddy asparagus
Oh, I love those guys. It was you know, it was asparagus the real guys. Yeah, you ever see three amigos
Oh, yeah, you ever see three amigos. He was the bartender Friday night. Yeah, that Mexican big bartender. That's Freddy asparagus
Yeah, yeah, those are the guys that baby sat me
You know my mom dated this guy Steve Lansberg
Steve Lansberg was on the show in the 70s called Barney Miller
Barney Miller was like the biggest sitcom in the world if you Google Barney Miller
It was like the big it was like police officers was a comedy and it was like I forgot who's the big there was a Korean dude on it
Oh, I know that. Yes. There was a Korean dude a black guy. Yeah, and a big Oda was on it
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Steve Lansberg was on it and then that was like my mom when she's at her happiest
She dated this guy Steve Lansberg. Yeah, was she the saddest when she dated Argus?
No, she was happy when she dated Argus. She just didn't like that Argus was a drug addict
Yeah, you know what I mean, but she believed in him. Yeah, you know what I mean?
And it's it's a shame because I feel really bad because Argus is a great guy and he was an addict
So he never made it and I feel really bad because like
Because his cocaine problem and alcohol and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
It's if you don't know Argus Hamilton still plays the comedy store
He's got to be 70 years old by now. Well, he always says he's 59
Which is yeah, I'm a baby boomer and I'm 59 years old
Yeah, yeah, it's like oh my god, but he still plays the room. He's great. Oh, but he's still great
Yeah, but there is a part of me that just feels bad for him
No, you shouldn't he's alive. Yeah, you know, I mean, yeah, I mean he's alive. I feel great
No, but you know what I mean for real like he's been he's been through a lot like yeah
He like people hear about Sam Kenneson being a drug addict and coke head and all that shit Argus was way worse
Way worse, dude. I had to like peel him away from my mom, dude
Like because of you abuse. Yeah for sure like he used to fucking come home
My mom would have her jag and she would come home and and I would you know, Argus leave me alone
You're fucking drunk. Get out of here. Go home. No, I'm staying here
And then like one time I had a fucking call the cops on him. Fuck, you know, I mean and like yeah, it was bad
And then this was this was fucked up, dude
like I had to call the cops on him and then I go downstairs and the cops were there and then and then what happened was as I say
The cops I'm like this guy's fucking with my mom
Da-da-da and then my mom was like my mom was like, oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it's okay
And then the cops would leave and then Argus would corner me
Yeah, and then he'd be like, oh
real funny
What a man calling the police on me now. What are you going to do?
Yeah, real funny
Yeah, seems so nice
Anyone that's fucking super nice is super fucking nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Come on. Yeah, I know Simone
Right, there is a hidden thing there. Yeah. Yeah, I mean Simone is the best guy in the world, but he's also not silly
Yeah, he's not. Is this rumor true then when Sam Kinnison? I heard he became
More he got more spots because he one time saved your mom from from Argus
I don't know if that's why I know that my mom and Sam loved each other to death. Oh, they did. Yeah, of course
Yeah, my mom loves Sam. Yeah, Sam loved my mom because he developed at the store
Yeah, and she developed him just like she developed her Cineo or Roseanna or any of them. Oh, it's crazy
You know, she she loves Sam Sam was like her her own son. You know what I mean?
You just to think
The names that came out of the your fucking club is insane everyone
You know everyone and that's the thing is like I well, I'm there now and in like, yeah
You talk about how great the business is. Yeah, and it is it's making more money now than like ever or
Or since when it was in the heyday, you know back in the day
But comedy back then, you know, like I watch guys. I'm in the back
I watch mark mirror and I watch these guys and I talked about this on row
I think I talked about on row and I forgot what podcast I talked about like like I watch Eliza
I watch, you know, everyone and they're all they all kill
But they're not like it was
They are not like fucking Eddie Murphy and fucking Pryor and Kenison. The vibe was a hundred percent different
You know what I mean? Even Chappelle and Chris Rock like are like probably the biggest comics in the world
Nothing compared to fucking how it was because like when you're in the back, dude
And I would sometimes I would walk Richard to the stage
Because like I would see him. I was so obsessed with them, but I was also it was my mom's club
And he loved me and every time I'd see him he'd give me a hug and say what's up and always rush and get him a drink
You know what I mean? I get him a soda or alcohol or gin or whatever he wanted
And I'd put him there people away from him because he had to get his head together. It was he's like fucking Jesus, dude
And he'd sit on the belly room stairs. Yeah there right sit there and I'd be like back off back off
And then I tell my mom I like mom Richard's here and she would freak out
She would go over there and give him a hug and a kiss
Everyone leave him alone and then I'd kind of like peek in the room to see what it up
Yeah, I'm like, okay, dude. We're ready and I'd fucking walk him in and then walk him up and this the or
Oh my god
Yeah, yeah, I'd walk him in there and I'll walk him and I'd be in the back booth there
And he would fucking come on someone say ladies and gentlemen Richard Pryor people
I swear to god would fucking stand up and fucking just they were like, oh my god
It was like Jesus was walking in. Yeah, it wasn't you know what I mean?
Like, you know, it was like insane and he'd walk up on stage and people couldn't believe Richard Pryor was on the stage
But I think that has a lot to do with
Now in the age of the internet, there's just anyone can get notoriety through their youtube channel this and that back then
You had to be the best to get on tv and whatnot. It was harder to make it
So when you did make it the whole world knew who you were like, you know back in the day when they'd said
I would do I did Johnny Carson once and I became an overnight
Sensation I mean Candace Thompson who you just met just did the fucking tonight show
a couple of months ago
And no one knows who the fuck she is. Yeah, it's harder. Yeah, and then I do Rogan and everyone talks about it
I know it's great. It's like Rogan's podcast is like the biggest in the world. It's the tonight show
Yeah, it's bigger than fucking John. It's bigger than you know anything anything. Yeah, and that's just the way it is
But my point is is richer prior was just funnier than anyone, you know, so so
you know, it's like
Like I love chris and I love chappelle and they're fucking they're both the best. Yeah, but richard was richard
There was something, you know, yeah
But is it I'm just throwing this out there. Is it because also the comedy was new back then right?
It was like a new form and I don't think so. I think music was better. I think actors were better. I think
I think movies were better. I think all that shit was better in the 70s. Do you ever see the the movie kid stays in the picture?
Yeah, yeah, I mean look at Robert Evans. I mean look at those movies he produced. Yeah, godfather
Yeah, like what movies are out there that are like this fucking would you game of thrones? I can't watch that shit
You've never seen it not interested. I'd rather watch Donald Trump
Let's say, okay. I'm he's like the game of thrones
Paulie game of thrones is that you got well, I'll watch it for five minutes
Just because you want me to watch it there for five minutes for you. No, you gotta
But you want me to leave your podcast now
Because I don't watch game. No, but I'm just saying
That's not my thing, bro. I like the heart. You know what I mean? I like watching things with heart like real things
Oh, real so you don't like any like fantasy or no, that's just the genre thing then. It's not really
Yeah, I like the genre. Yeah, I like the the movie with uh, was it the the wizard movie with Robert De Niro
We placed Bernie Madoff on HBO. Yeah, it was that good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like show fight first?
Oh, yeah, it's so good in it. Yeah, I like just, you know, real actors really, you know, I mean Sean Penn
Yeah, you know what I mean? Like that type of shit. Yeah people that you fucking know
That's fucking ridiculous. No dead man walking. We fucking kidding. Oh my god. Did you cry during that movie?
I cried like a fucking baby in that you can't compare dead man walking a game of thrones. I mean, come on
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't but you're right. I don't like that genre. It's not the genre
You know, I did like valeria though. I like that. You still valeria. Yeah
Wow, just because of the whole sci-fi thing and the goggles and shit. Yeah, did you watch the eclipse?
I did. I did this morning. It was, you know, it was nice. Was it like was it like game of thrones? No, what'd you see?
Did you have glasses on? I did have glasses. Great. It was special for me because I hadn't seen an eclipse
Or even a partial eclipse since I was in the fourth grade. Yeah
And I had like fond memories of everybody like exiting the classroom and people making sort of this big deal out of it
So it was more of a a nice
Dude, you guys are like sunny and share, bro
I
They say y'all you don't know
I don't know. I don't know. That means I'm gonna die of skiing into a tree
I got you, babe. Yeah, I got you, babe
When are you gonna have babies, bro? We're gonna we kill too, but yeah, yeah
You guys know she was pregnant a couple times. Yeah, no way. Yeah, tell me what happened
I
No, no, no, we just I just wasn't the time. I wasn't ready. I think the first one we had just started dating
So I didn't want to abortion. Yeah
What is that? That's the noise
Don't do that. It would have wrecked us if we had a baby
I got pregnant three months into dating or two months into dating. We didn't know each other did. Yeah, it was
You know
What did stevie say? What is stevie a big star now sort of sort of yeah
Oh before six months ago. It was like, oh my god. Can you do his podcast? Yeah. Well, yeah
You freak the fuck out. Yeah, george produces that
No, but it's at his house. It's hilarious. You have to go. He plays the piano. Yeah, you only do it if you do it with me
I'll do I'll be there with you. I'll be there with you. I'll do a guest's appearance. Let's do it
Let's lock that down. That would be fucking great. Yeah, you're also on my podcast on crackle with fred durst
I know
The fuck is so funny. I know I did it. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna promote it
Wait, how long ago? That was a long time ago. That's the only problem. Is it out? It's on crackle right now
It's the video the video part. Can I tell you where where I was mad at you the only time I was mad at you
I went to kind of you don't know
We were in louvre. No, no, we were in shreveport louis. Yeah, I got a yawn one sec
Are you allergic to cats?
Oh, I'm just tired. I came from the spot. You know what it is. Yeah. Yeah, it's the best. Yeah, it's the best
We were in shreveport. SHINEY'S BADY!
I'm gonna start saying that now. I like you. I like a china. I like a china's bady
Dude, whatever happened to fucking tamayo, bro. I know she's in the jungles of hawaii
He said she was eating cats. She eats cats and she she built a little house in the jungles of hawaii
She's the last time I saw you know for sure because two years ago three years ago. I saw her at the store
Right and she goes babi babi because I used to when when I first started I did shows with her
So we're friends, right and she goes look at this is the house I built
Right and she goes I eat cats. She hunts cats. I mean, there are a lot of stray cats in hawaii. Yes
But I'm like oh, how was your trip to hawaii? It was great. It was good. It's work for him, but it was really really good
Work for you. You know the she know what women do. I like to go out and do things and he
Six in the morning. We got to get up and go on a boat to swim with sharks
That's not his thing. Mm-hmm. That he just that's not a vacation
He's one spot. That's me being a navy seal. That's a job. It's a job
Okay, I want to relax
I know how you vacation. What why couldn't you guys do a happy medium?
Um, I don't know how you find a happy medium when I want to swim with sharks
Well, I did there was a happy medium was you just got on the boat and didn't swim with the sharks
But then you could you you didn't want three girls to out, you know
Who are the three girls?
Oh, really? Yeah, but can I just go back to the um three port Louisiana. Yes, you were seeing this girl. She was like 18
Hot I remember her
Oh my god, her tits were so big
Dude, how hot was she? I don't I hated her
I remember she said some racist not only that I walked into the green room when you were on stage
Yeah, and she had my wallet in her hand and she was looking through it. What oh my god, and I told
Then I told you about it like this bitch tried to steal money from me
Look at her titties, dude
I love that so then the whole weekend
We I had to hang out with this bitch
And she was mean to you. Yeah, I mean to me because I think Chinese racist shit. Yeah, I'm like this guy
He's my boss, but you would think that he he did not defend me because of her titties
I mean, I may give it to defend him valid. She was really hot. Yeah, but she was a fucking creature
For sure super racist super racist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She'd like never seen anyone like you before. Yeah, I know
I know
Please yeah, she's trying to steal money from me. Yeah, she's a young girl. She's probably a bartender or something
I know but still I mean next time defend me. You didn't have money. It was like yin or some shit anyway
Like Asian coins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I remember that so that I was really mad about that
You know, but other than that I think that's it
You know about the resurgence
Oh your resurgence. I really believe this one's coming
Because the video that you did um on funnier day die. Was it was a guy Stephen Miller? Stephen Miller
Was legitimately
Extremely fucking funny. Thanks. No, I'm being real. You did the character, right?
The dialogue was really good. It was really funny and I know that a lot of people were talking about it
Um that other one that you did with uh about it was the other one that you did
Anthony Wiener. That was also very strong. Yeah, and there's a you know, we have a video coming out, right?
I think that it's it's it's gonna be there's we have resurgence
It's about fucking time
Well, you deserve it. I know because I'm gonna say this right now. You
Throughout this whole time. I've known you have always done stand-up. You've always been dedicated to the craft and you're real
You're very honest on stage and real and um
I'm just I'm happy for you because I really think that you're a really good dude, man
Thank you. I do. Is this the end or something? No, we're not at the end. No
I think also I think also that what changed about you is you live in the silver like now
And when I was hanging out with you a couple weeks been sort of like you're like kind of a mayor there
Yeah, like yeah, because my friend Gareth who owns that whole area of stores. He came out
He knew Paul people knew that Paul wasn't you know in that neighborhood, you know, yeah, and I think that's really cool, man
You're a hipster now. Yeah, I'm like a hipster. I like I really like it over there. It makes me feel good
It does right feel really good when I'm there. I don't feel good in west Hollywood. Yeah, the feeling is creepy in west Hollywood
Yeah, and also when you used to live in that my mansion
Yeah, up in the top of the hill. Yeah, you probably felt isolated up there
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, I think that that house you need to be with more people if you're gonna live and have a family up there
Do you still own that house? Yeah, would you sell it?
Um, well, there's always a price on anything. You know what I mean? Yeah
Like you saw the movie the movie uh indecent proposal. Yeah, you know, right?
No, no, no, no, no, no Chinese baby. Give me a baby
Chinese baby say something you let me say something to you juju
I want to say something to you my friend, right?
you you
I'm gonna name other comics mike young
Chris delia
Steve burn you guys have always you've had to share a pussy
All right, the one pussy that I have you don't get the touch, bro
Oh, all right
You don't get the fucking touch this shit right here is mine. Mine only
Okay, baby
Oh
All right
What are we just talking about the house your research? Oh, yeah, your house. Yeah house
Um, no, I lease it you do. Yeah. Yeah. I see it important sometimes
I know you told me that you don't think you don't know what's going on up there. I heard about that was a lot
I was years ago. I unearthed when I first moved in here like a big box of photos of the both of you
naked with
Women and like really seedy like motel like, you know when they have that old floral 80s
type of like bed cover
I you guys have been through a lot together. We have no I honestly I credit
You and a little bit of Mencia of getting me established in this town
I have everything because of you guys
You know that was my roots, you know, so I thought we were talking about my resurgence
Yeah, well, I think you're resurgent. I honestly believe
I honestly believe I mean, you know what I mean?
That's what's hard about podcasts like there's all these comedians that do podcasts
But everyone wants to talk about themselves. They start talking about you know what I mean? It's confusing. Yeah
Yeah, you're interviewing me. I usually interview you. I understand that. I know but this is a more of a conversation friend
All right, what are you fucking Nancy Grace?
friend is at your hook
No, hi friend. Why are you being so confrontational right now? No, no, um, you're you're yeah, there's a resurgence
Yeah, okay. I you know everything I do like, you know, I
I don't I do because I really want to do it. I don't do things like just to do it
Yeah, did you feel like you did that a lot when you were younger?
Were you where you couldn't you didn't say no to anything?
I didn't think about it as much. Yeah, but but I'll tell you why though. Just let me just say what I'm going to say is because
Back in the day you played yourself in all these movies, right?
But now we're seeing you playing a character, right? You're committing to a character also
I think people miss you
And I know I would like to see you in a lot of shit, you know, and I know that
I think you've reinvented yourself. I'll be I'll be honest and I think that there's something that's going to happen
You know your own show or you start booking movies again and all that kind of stuff. Great. Yeah, it's going to happen
I already know it. That's the one thing I like really miss acting
Yeah, and you can do it. Yeah, by by looking at those videos. You can do it and I did it. Why did it stop for you?
I think I was so big. You know what I mean?
I don't want to say obnoxious, but it was my whole thing was
It's crazy. And then I didn't listen to my managers so much and my agents were like, hey, don't do this
I was just kind of like I just wanted to work. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like I did my movies like bio dome and jury dude all these movies that are hits now
Yeah, I mean, they're very big hits now like bio domes like a huge cult classic for me
Yeah, jury duty and some all these movies are huge hits for me now
But at the time the box office didn't portray like a hit, you know, I mean
Yeah, but and I think a lot of that has to do with you know, my star like, you know, the heart of you rise the heart of you fall
Yeah, so like I was so big
It's a different space now though because I feel like there's so many avenues at which you can
You know exist before it's like it's either your new movies or your network tv
And now it's just like it's branched out into so many. I think the most important thing is just to do good things
Yeah, it's like you good things. It's like it's not about like oh, like benji show like we both did benji show
Yeah, oh my god, like it's good. Yeah, it's very good. It's a good show. Yeah, I'm excited to be on it together
Yeah alone together. Yeah, and you know just to do things that are good and not do things that are bad and be good in those things
Yeah, and like the the vice squad thing that's coming out is going to be fucking awesome to me with me and paulie and jaymore
Check it out. It's gonna be on funny or die. Yeah, and um
Um, were you just talking just promoting it? We'll be on funny or die
That was why please don't attack me. No, we were just doing the best I can I know
No, but I fucked up. I fucked up
Chinese babies
Chinese baby
No, the the sketch is going to be awesome and we in my friend joey croutel
Yeah, there's an old friend of mine. He got me uh, richard schiff. Yeah from ballers
The TV show ballers and also west wing. Yeah, and we just had kandace man on earlier kandace thompson
I mean and she was she thought she was going to be in it
Yeah, because you told her in the main room that she was going to do it
But I wasn't I was still looking for other actors. I always do things that's what's best for the sketch
That's my or the thing. I'm always like what's best not, you know, sorry, you're not in it
But I got to do what's best for the sketch. You're right. So I was so fortunate to get richard schiff. This guy's such a good actor
Yeah, and then bobby and jay more and me together. We're just fun chemistry. Yeah, and it's a great sketch
I mean, I've seen it, you know, we're we're chopping we're almost finished with it and it should be coming out either
So you've seen it. It looks yeah, of course
Yeah, that's awesome
Cool, and then it's coming out this week or next week on funnier die
And I think it's going to be a really good sketch for everyone and it's silver like vice squat. Tell him what it's about
it's basically um jay more and um and paulie are cops they're right and they they um
They they portrayed themselves as hipsters undercover
And they're in silver like yeah, and I'm a guy that's selling mollies at the juice bar at the juice bar
And you guys bust me. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, yeah, you know, he's we're like right-winger cops. We like hate gays
We hate Trump supporters. We love guns and like we've never been heard of the word silver like before
Yeah, so our and we're like fuck ups these cops. So richard schiff. He's the chief of police
He says you're gonna go in silver like you're gonna bust this molly ring
We're like what the fuck is molly or silver like you know what I mean?
So then we dress like hipsters skinny jeans and we go in there to get a juice. We don't even we ask for a soda pop
to go in a juice bar
You know he says Bobby says some funny lines
So we go there and we just ask what to get and then we find out that they're selling molly there
He's selling molly there. So it was an idea that I came up with. I know bud
It's my idea and I pitch it to them and they did it and it's Bobby's great in it. Yeah
Yeah, I'm just saying though that I'm I'm proud of you. Thank you. Okay
I want that fucking sex video back
All right, you're gonna fucking find that thing. What is it in tale? I give me
There's two white chicks blowing me and Paulie going. Yeah, get it dude get it. You know what I mean?
And I'm like you're smiling. I don't think that's a good image for me to have out there
He's not putting it out there. Yeah, he's gonna blackmail with me with it. That's my fear
My biggest fear. I'm gonna yell on mail you
Oh, don't you tiny baby
So what else so you're on the road and what what can people check you out on?
It's my space
Hi, Tom. What's up, Tom?
I like that because I like your face
You know
No, um
I'm doing so much. I just do so much
I think the best thing the best thing that I'll have coming out is the documentary in my life
I've been working on it for a long time. You went to new jersey with Chris rock, right? And he helped you with it, right?
He did a bunch of interviews. Yep. I'm you won't interview me or no
You came later in my life. I know so at the end I can I could no I think it's gonna end like in the late
90s and then it'll dissolve and I'll be me and sober like now
Oh, and I'm gonna play that but don't you think they'd be cool that have me on there like he
Let me just try to get me myself in this fucking movie, all right
Because fuck you you edit me out of polysure won't die
Well polysure is dead. Yeah, all right. You edit me out of that movie. Hmm. Am I not right? Yeah, you're right
I'm out. Yeah, you're out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but that wasn't that was just a pacing thing. All right. Could I just say that?
Okay
It was I know but whatever
I had to get to the fucking to the the the me killing myself part
I couldn't have all this fucking stuff bullshit. Okay. It wasn't bullshit. It was funny
Don't you think that it would be cool to have me on it going he really helped me out and this and that
Probably yeah, think about it. I could no it's not over. It's not like you're not gonna be in it for sure. Yeah. It's just kind of like
You know what I mean? It's so much. I mean a lot of it's my childhood
I know a lot of it's like I honest 60 60 70s the shit that you had to go through. I know that
You know, you had just a weird upbringing in terms of your mom
You know, because she was a celebrity in her own right and everyone wanted a piece of her
She was so busy with the business that I feel like your dad was always on the road because he's a comic
By the way, I love your dad. Yeah
He's a great guy. Yeah
um
He said something to me early on. You know what he said? We were together. It stopped squinting
No, what he said he goes whatever get away from my family
What that's what he said get away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like it's not gonna be good for you. Okay. I am
I thought you said you liked my love with that. I love your family. Yeah, I've come to your realization
It's all the stories you've we've only like met like twice before in passing, right? All the stories you've ever told me of paulio
I always assume that there was like a hint of racism
But you're actually an honorary asian you are because he always tells me oh, I saw I saw him at the spa
He calls me chinese so i'm always like
No, i'm obsessed
That's the realization that I just came to like dude like I was at a sushi bar last night in silver lake
Yeah, and the asian guys at work there know that i'm obsessed with asians. Yeah, and they saw these two asian kids walk in
They started laughing because they know I can't control myself
Chinese baby
Like in the fucking restaurant. Yeah. No, I realize that now that it's like an actual love for pepper beef
He grew up with no obsession. It's an obsession. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it helped me
Imagine me being a young comic it totally helped me out
Yeah, because he thinks i'm funny, but he's also obsessed with me. Yeah, right?
I love the asians
I love like going to like through airports and the ones that wear surgical masks
Those are the ones I like to touch the birds. They're real chinese. Yeah, the words. Yeah, you touch them. Yeah
What why are you just a random person? You don't know you touch them. No, I just kind of oh
They're all robots anyways. Yeah, there's like all the the hordes of chinese people with a master robots
I actually don't even we get them in the philippines, but I always when I see him at the spa
I always talk to him. Yeah, you do. I do. I have I speak like I think I know
I think I'm speaking asian, but I'll say things like
I just say
Yeah, that should be my alarm clock in the morning. I'll wake right up. I'll scream chinese, baby
Like yeah, I know. I know. I know. I love it. It's really tough. But do you
Fetishize over Asian women like sexually or no? No, he doesn't which is weird. I you like the why
love for them like
In my heart. Yeah. No my heart. You've never dated one. So it's not even a fetish then
Paulie. No, it's not a fetish. You've never did it when I was a kid when I was like 18
I dated a girl in school. Her name is Melissa Paul and she was part asian. She was adopted
Oh, yeah, so she was part asian, but in your adult life. You've never dated an asian
No, so they just give you the warm fuzzies. I just think they're funny-looking
But not him. He's not funny-looking. Yeah, he looks gay though. Be real. Yeah, he looks kind of gay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
That's okay
But I've always said to you I want you to get married. Hmm
Is that gonna happen? Are you in a relationship now? Yes
And a long-term one and she doesn't like me talking about her though like on from Arizona from Arizona. Yeah
Yeah, she just freaks like she'll yell at me like a lot
Like a lot. Yeah, because your brother Peter settled down. You like the kids his kids
Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, my brother. Who Peter. Who's that?
Oh, yeah, that's going on Chinese babies. We can't talk about that. No, we can't talk about that. Yeah
Yeah, and then how Sandy? Oh, Sandy's she's okay. Yeah. Yeah crazy. Yeah. Is she crazy?
She's had some mishaps lately. Yeah, you know, yeah, but um, you know, there was a couple of times. Yeah, the family's a weird, um
Conversation I'll be talking about in my one-man show. Okay. Okay. Good because next year I'm gonna be 50
I can't believe it. So yeah 50 so I'm gonna put out a documentary in my life
A one-man show and an autobiography awesome is my plan
But I want to make the book the autobiography and the doc totally different from one another
Because I don't want people to say oh, I read the book and it's exactly like the play and I read this and it's exactly like that
I want the play to be more about my family
Yes, you know what I mean? Yeah more like about my family should know. Yeah. Yeah, and then the book's the book and then
Documentaries, you know more voices and shit like the doc's fucking gnarly dude
Like there's shit in there that you don't know. I'll just tell you one quick story. Yeah, the doc is fucking insane
when I was
14 years old we I went to Beverly Hills High School when I was 14 years old
We all meet my friend Donovan leech the son of the singer Donovan the same the calming man. Yeah. Yeah. I know Donovan
I love Donovan. Yeah, Donovan and his sister Ioni, right? Wow, you know, all of them. Yeah, they used to live on Wilton
Over here right here. Yeah, right over there and and Ioni used to go with Adam Horowitz and before before that was like
Anthony Kitas from the chili peppers. Yeah, and we always have casserole at his mom's house
But we used to go to flips flips down on Melrose. It was like this clothing store
But we also go to this club called the odyssey and the odyssey
Was on the corner of Beverly and La Cienega. You know where the AT&T store is across street from CVS
Yes, that AT&T store. Yeah, that used to be a club called the odyssey. Wow
And it was like an underage club in Beverly Hills and it was like all the kids went there
It was kind of like the west coast version of studio 54
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So the gays and the this and the that and everyone's
Smoking weed and the poppers and the aquanet hair and it's like boy George and that whole fucking era, right?
And my best friend was this kid named Doug white, right? Yeah
Yeah
And Doug came from like the the low side of the tracks in Beverly Hills
It was uh, it was a Horace Mann in Beverly Hills
There was four four schools. There was Horace Mann, Beverly Vista, Arodale and Hawthorne
Those are the junior highs and you all graduated went to Beverly. Yeah, right?
And um, we used to go to fucking the odyssey and my best friend Doug white
He's he was like his parents. He didn't come from a good home
So he used to stay at my mom's house and I used to take him in but then he started getting weird
And he started dealing drugs for the owner of the odyssey. There's this guy named LB
Which stood for little boys
But his real name was Lawrence Benjamin. He was a record executive
And he used to deal drugs for LB and eventually LB molested Doug
Doug was 14 years old and then Doug killed him and fucking went to jail for murder, dude
That's insane. Oh my god. He's laughing in the car. He's a creepy white guy in the closet. Yeah, yeah
So like that story is told to my dog. Yeah, man. So there's like is he still in prison?
No, he got out a while ago. Do you know him still or no, of course. I was with him. He tried as an adult at 14
No, uh-uh. So you still seven years. So you you you you still talk to him. Yeah all the time. That's awesome
Yeah, he's like one of my best friends. Is he still free like he's doing well. Yep. He's married born again
And he's got kids. He lives in Texas. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, I was just with him
His mom's sick. So he came out here. So we were just together like oh
Wow, so that's gonna be in the document. That's gonna be the documentary
All that crazy a lot of stories like that. That's what I was saying about my childhood
You're saying, oh, I got to be in it. I'm kind of doesn't go there. All right
I don't want to be in it. I don't want to be in it now. All right
That's why I wanted to tell the stories. So just so you know, that's that's the type of shit that's in there
Okay, but like, you know childhood shit like that's gonna be great
All right, so um, so at the end of our thing, we do a question
From the internet
You can answer it. What's it called? It's called on unhelpful advice. So you don't have to be helpful
But this is from the email and then you can answer it if you want to if not, you don't have to
Okay, our helpful advice with barbie kalayla and poli shore
I'm a 27 year old male who is really lost in life. I have a dead-end job
I still live with my parents one which has stage 4 cancer
I have no real friends and have never actually had a real girlfriend
I would say that things aren't really going well for me. I'm very socially awkward and shy not talented or intelligent in any way
I wouldn't say I'm good looking but by any means
Overall, I would say I'm a loser
I grew up christian and all I hear from people around me is trust in god
And I feel as though everyone around me is moving up in life and getting married and being promoted at work
Also, I don't have a real passion for anything. Anyways, what should I do?
Well, how can I cope with my situation? Really hope I get picked up
Love the podcast you guys are awesome
How does he 27 has he heard this is he here this one? I just heard the podcast in general
Uh, this is one we haven't heard this one yet. Yeah, this one's later, right? Um, okay. Well, I don't live
I don't know
All right, I'm just saying my bad. No, he hasn't heard this yet. Yeah, okay. Um, so you want to say
Okay, Nicole. I mean, I I want to say you're 27
It
What it is is this is is how you perceive yourself. You can change the way
You look at life, right? And all these things like I'm not talented. I'm not likable. I'm ugly
Whatever you you say to yourself in your own head
That shit becomes reality eventually, right? So you got to shift your perception
Right. It's like you are special. I don't know the guy
But you can just make a decision and go I'm going to be positive
And I'm gonna like go out and I'm going to do everything I can to live a life
And to perceive my life in a different kind of way
You can also believe in the existence of God and hold yourself accountable for all the things that are happening in your life
It doesn't have to be like a victim. You mean, yeah, like if you leave it up there
Then you'll never do anything for yourself. Like he doesn't he doesn't write your destiny for you
I mean even and even if you believe that he does it doesn't mean that you can't move and do things for yourself
And as far as not having a passion just throw it throw anything on the wall and see what sticks, you know
You don't have to find it at 27. You don't have to find it at any age
But you got to get moving and try and find it. Yeah, I think them. I think the main thing is what you should do
Why are you looking at me like that?
No, I think you first of all the first thing is watch is two things number one
I always say this to people number one. You're not incarcerated
Uh-huh. So that's the first thing watch like msn lockup watch these shows about that show
Yeah, my favorite show. See that's the shit I watch. I don't watch game of thrones
Lockup is a good. It's a really good show difference between lockup and game
Well, you asked me what I like sorry, but I like that's one of the greatest things ever made if you don't want to watch it
That's all bad on you my friend. Okay. All right, so
Let's try to help this guy from
Jumping off the cliff. Okay. He's up, bro. So anyway, so so number one
Be happy. You're not incarcerated watch msn lockup and number two
and number two
You fucking can walk
Okay, and you're healthy and you can walk out of your house and you have two fucking legs and you can feed yourself
You know what I mean? Just shit like that. You know what I mean?
Look at what you have and not what you don't have and stop being a fucking victim
You know, there's people that are way more fucked up than you that are doing awesome. Stop being woe is me
Yeah, and you know change your standards marriage. He says he's looking at his friends. We're getting married. Yeah, don't compare yourself to other people
You know a bobby compared himself to other people like that. What's that asian actor that's always in all these movies?
Randall park
Ken show. Yeah, you had to fucking hung yourself a long time ago
In the thing you don't you're like your bobby re that's who you are you'd be happy with that
Well, because you what you what you I do is this is that
I mean, there was a time where I was jealous, but then you go. I'm not him. I
You know
We're not the same if you want my flavor in your shit
Then you're gonna get it
But it's like I'm not him and he's not me. Just because your eyes are a certain way, right? And you're
Yeah, no, that's true
Yeah, I just like I'm not screech. You know what I mean? It's the same thing. Why you're not screech, right?
Pave your own way. Fuck your friends. Yeah. Everybody else. Yeah, don't don't listen to other people
Don't compare yourself to other people and look at what you have not what you don't have praise Jesus
Praise mother fucking Jesus. Yeah
Yeah, you know anything so what do you have coming out any road dates that you want to plug or no
I'm just gonna whip out my beautiful penis. You said do it. I don't want to see your dick
I don't want to see your dick anymore
But no because we get people listening and people come to our you know our shows and I want people to come to your show
Um, if you just follow me on my social media platforms, there we go, which is just you know the twitter
What is it polyshore? Yeah, it's polyshore. And then it's the insta
Which is just polyshore. Yeah, and then it's the what the facebook facebook
It's polyshore if you just log in and put your little fucking claws in that shit
Then you'll see where I wind up
You know what I mean? So and then there's you know, I'll be touring. I'm doing shows all all the whole
And then I got my thing coming out with you, which I'm really proud of yeah
Yeah, so check that out. Yeah silver Lake vice squad. Yeah, whereas Asians say what silver Lake vice
For
And then also, oh my my documentary stands alone is on amazon right now. It's doing really well for me
Okay, good. So and how to agency amazon amazon
Holly short everybody, thank you
Oh
The time is make sure you guys follow us on instagram tiger belly on twitter at that tiger belly emails any questions at the tiger belly
It's the tiger show at to emails at the tiger belly at gmail.com. Um, do a house cleaning. Do you need anything, jor?
We'll be right back guys
Be right back guys with some house cleaning and we are back
For some house cleaning
George anything you want to shout out to our great peoples the slept kingdom the toky dum-dums
The whatever other name we have them being called the pink dicklets. That was the other pink dicklets
You know what I'm okay with that
That it's actually that's a very funny name, but that just always like that just it sounds like they only love George
That's why George mentioned this. Yeah
Maybe that's your sub fan group
Yeah, that's your sub if you love George Kimmel and you're into the hashtag George and Jessica forever
You're a pink dicklet. Yeah, which means I'm a pink dick. I'm still getting that hashtag
You were speaking the longest troll. You know what? Let's bring that hashtag back again this week
Yeah, I'm not the one that needs it
Let's just uh George is gonna be in spain and he's gonna be posting pictures of him at a Spanish wedding
I want you guys to post George and Jessica forever. It's completely unrelated to everything
He's about to post but it doesn't matter. That's the point. We want his family. I will post nothing for the next week
Play the game George. Come on do it for the pink dicklets. Oh, so we just wrapped up with polyshore fantastic
And you know, I think I'm like an older podcast Bobby like forced me to rate his friends
And he scored very low on my friend rating because I've only had like two encounters with him
And I only really know what other people like tell me, you know, but he was actually a really nice person to have
I like him tonight and I
Um, I don't remember what I said about him before but I have a new
found um
Perception of him. Oh
Yeah, so I think he's a decent guy. He's okay. I think maybe a lot of what he's done in the past is caught up to him
but um, you know, like
People change. Yeah, people turn new leaves and he's all right. Yeah hashtag George Jessica forever
Yeah, always
What's that have to do with anything?
Okay, you're gonna get that on twitter as well. Uh
Uh, oh, I want to do another will a quick shout out to someone in the in the slept kingdom
Uh, what's the guy's name that did all the urban bobby videos nat pk nat pk? I don't know if that's that's his name
I don't know if that's his handle on youtube
But he made these awesome edits of all the urban bobby clips and then like
I would occasionally throw in like a random clip like there's a random george and jessica clip on there too
So check out him on youtube urban bobby and there's urban bobby two so there's two videos
Oh, you can find on you can find it through the facebook group. That's the easiest one post it on instagram
Yeah, can we post it on instagram? Yeah, it's uh, let's we should it's so funny
Uh, so thank you for doing that dude
What else is new with you guys george? Why are you leaving us for spain? Yeah, man
My friend's getting married, you know, everybody around me is getting married
So you're not gonna be here for next week's episode when we have um, a guest
We're not jason's gonna take over jason's
He like are you worried that he might potentially be better than you and that we might like prefer him?
I tried to choose somebody who's just good enough, but just not good
It's real hard to find find somebody who's smart enough to do this, but
Yeah, you are very tolerant. I always think about this too
Is there anybody who can actually put up with all of the shit that bobby and I put you through
Yeah, jason he uh, he's great at taking shit give him everything that you got that's yeah, but he's he's he's uh
He's witty and he he bites back. You never bite back when he bites back
It actually like stings when you bite that I realized was hilarious. Yeah, like I know what diarrhea is
He's quick with it when you bite back. I don't feel teeth
There's no teeth in your bite. Yeah, it's just a very soft gentle bite like a like a
Uh, but that's a good thing like when an alpha dog tells a beta. They just like Jesus. Let's just
Emasculate
How is that emasculating him? I don't know how yeah, you never pay attention. I don't know you hashtag george and jessica forever
That's all that you just choose some whatever it's an insult even if it's like you're reaching at nothing
That's true. We can actually bite the beta. They just like nudge it like in the neck, you know, they don't they kind of just put
Him in their place
You're you're you're you're bite hurts and when you made fun of my diarrhea earlier
It hurt my feelings. Yeah, I think I'm gonna find somebody else now. You you think he's funny. Okay. It's uh, it's over to jason
I'm fine. It's so nice to make too fine. I appreciate your service so far
Hey, you know, um, also I would like to announce that um today george and I went to see the eclipse
And we went to visit um, jessica at her workplace
Hashtag george jessica and I vlogged the whole encounter. So oh my god
So by the time this episode comes out, hopefully, um the vlog of jessica visiting
I mean george visiting the love of his life at her workplace. Can we call that episode that vlog that title?
Yeah, also did they share solar glasses together? Um, she did provide him one boom back in the game george. Yeah, so yeah
Pretty sure it's a sign of times
a sign of things to come
Um, oh, hey goby. No with that. You're so good this whole hour. Come here. Be what that means
It's mma minute with kalilah
And george, I'm curious on george's take on this as well. Just wait, which thing?
We're gonna talk about it really quickly on the uh,
mcgregor may weather fight this saturday the 26
Just before you say anything george just thoughts from a person that's watching all this these news outlets and just all the
Uh, the stuff that's coming from this fight. What is your take on the whole thing the spectacle?
The spirit don't care. I think yeah, they've hyped it up perfectly
I feel like they hyped it up so much that it died
I think it's it researched a little bit. But yeah, it was a lot
It was so much in the beginning and it's like the hype was so intense
And then world events happened and I felt it to me it felt a little less special or I felt a little less juiced
To watch it, but you're still gonna watch it. Of course. I'm not I have FOMO. I'm like FOMO queen. I I got to
There's no way I'm not gonna. They did enough that everybody made their decision. That's what they're gonna do this the saturday
Yeah, and I'm actually you know, it's uh, I don't know
What what are your thoughts gil who takes it once and for all you don't get to change or waiver
McGregor may whether I know why you said that because I had said that I need to see the first round
I can decide but I will say right now. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go connor
Good guy. I'm gonna go connor. I'm gonna go connor George. I'm connor all the way
Wow
You know, but like my original thing was like I think Flo is gonna wait about rooting for connor
But now I really truly believe I think connor
I respect you because you really do love connor connor like he's always been your guy
Yeah, so to to not believe in him even in this type of setting would not be a true fan of connor mcgregor
So I respect your decision to um pick a losing man
So you
No, I'm a waiver. I I know what we both are that's why you won't let gilbert waiver and now you're gonna waver yourself
I'm allowed to waver. I asked a fucking question. Okay. All right. Who do you have the line up and you can't to choose one right now
Obviously on paper everything. No, no, no, just pick a name because we could all say that
No, I'm gonna give you my final answer. Okay. I'm just saying obviously on paper given everything that we have in front of us
It's easy to say
You know Mayweather it's easy to say that
Yeah, but so what you gotta say miss I take the easy route because you know, I
I like to take the opposing side of what most people say and I am probably now a bigger fan of mma than I am boxing
Um, and I'm going to side with what I hope for which is connor. So
Let's do it. All right. The great white. Hope everybody thinks we're crazy. But fuck it. Who cares?
Yeah, but are they and I think we're crazy when it fucking happens. I mean
What are the vegas odds right now? They're I mean they slump down considerably
But not it's still a ridiculous, but just not what it was before
Fuck it. Put some money on I'll I'll put 200 bucks
Look, I will put a blue apron at me
So you don't have a real belief in him if you really believe in him you put some money down
I just don't believe in gambling
Oh, we
That's people who don't believe in anything. Yeah, that's true. That's fine. I'll put a hundred
hundred
That's 40 lift rides
I base everything on lift rides. How many lift rides have to do to
How many why don't you drive an uber instead of lift they tip now?
Uh, my car is better for lift. It's more casual. It's a little older
Uber think of uber more as like professional like lift is more chill
I've been in some fucking shitty ubers and I don't care. I still give everyone a five star
See not everyone's not like that. Not everyone's like you or me
I'll just give five no matter what even if they suck because my that's your livelihood
Yeah, I mean if they're getting you to your destination who cares about french fry on the ground. I don't give a fuck
Yeah, I don't give up that either
George is like, no, I know sometimes the two the two star. No, I just don't write waste of time
You have to rate on uber. No, you don't you see just oh, I don't know about uber, but lift you are forced to
Or else the app doesn't turn over. So how do you get your next ride? Yeah, how do you get your next ride?
I know
I always do uber. They don't force me to do it. I don't get an email. What's your uber rating my lift rating
No, no, no, what's your uber rider rating? Oh, I don't ride. I don't ride uber
I'm left all day and my
Driver rating is 4.9. Oh, that's really good
I think because I forced myself to talk, you know, I don't want to so I just smile
Ew, like when uber drivers talk too much. I'm like, no, dude, not me. Oh, I feel I feel it out
So if they talk to me, I'm already like, oh, here we go. Yeah, what else do you do?
It's like let me talk about my acting career again
If I was an uber driver and if someone was just yapping away, it would drive me insane
Yeah, I can't I just yeah, that's if I see you looking at your phone. I ain't talking and I'm happy with that
Yeah, I'm really nice though. I took really well. What are your ratings? What are your what's your rating 4.83?
Ew, that's a bad rating
So what's yours?
4.93. See, I don't understand how even riders
Like what did you what could you guys even done where it's like they would I sat in the back seat into the front?
Is that I don't know
You always have to buckle you have to buckle you have to wear a seatbelt
And for me, I never I don't I rarely rarely drink so I never use it on a night out
You're not but also I use uber so much that my rating even if I had let's say like one star one star
Over time. It's not it doesn't affect my rating because I write it so much
4.83 is not as as not not it's okay, but it's not like
Great, let's stop. We're not sponsoring them if you guys want us to keep talking more about your fucking car ride sharing apps
Hit us up at tigerbellagmail.com. We need sponsors
Oh
Guys anything else before we head we head out before george goes to spain before we see carler
An early happy birthday to my one and only little brother gilbert
This weekend, I also want to say an early happy birthday to my other brothers db web. Oh, when's his birthday the day before yours?
Oh, he's 27. I'm missing ever. He's the same birthday as mine. Hold on yours is 28 two days before yours. Oh nice 20
He's 26 25
Uh, I think it doesn't matter. Happy birthday to the both of you. Thank you. So we're gonna
Yeah, and if you want to send me any packages
Because I ain't never get anything george gets tomato seeds from seven-year-olds that write letters. I ain't gay shit
Then I guess you have to remember the uh the address the address is he I don't care. I don't know
1626 north wilcox avenue
number
161
hollywood california 900
28
Dang, yeah, and also if you want to send the cb stuff you can send it there, too
We'll hand it to him. Yeah, and um, thank you guys so much for um listening this week and we will see you next time
Bye enjoy the bonus
Okay, thank you
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