TigerBelly - Episode 112: Teddy Talk & Riverside Cafe
Episode Date: October 11, 2017Bobo lies. Khaloko "lies." We talk Harvey sWeinstein, Dutch submarines, year long comas, chinky slits and an Egyptian clog maker.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California... Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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5 4 3 2 1 hello hello welcome to another
welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly
absolutely hello hello hello oh my god seriously let's do it again my energy is
like a low five hello hi 5 3 2 1 welcome to another podcast absolutely
Tiger Belly podcast I can't do it it's not about Bobby that's my name we got
Kaleila we got Gilbert we got George and our guest flew to New York we had a
guest Taryn kill him and he flew to New York because he has he's in a movie with
Arnie Schwarzenegger and he couldn't didn't make it that made me really sad
but you know what fuck him that's what I say why he said he's coming back he is
coming back he'll never listen to this though you know we don't know you're
right so let's talk about so Friday we did a live podcast downtown for the LA
podcast we followed Bert Kreischer in a sold out 900 seat auditorium and 20
people there oh that's right I remember now it was gigantic come on 25 space and
then we're just we were just lost in it but I thought it was okay that was the
what was your initial thoughts when you guys walked in and you saw the space I
was in shock I was all of a sudden I just just dread overcame me I couldn't
believe we had to actually perform in you know like that room was massive and the
ceilings were so high and just like like we were in fucking like Italy or
something the museum and I felt like they were a little indifferent like the
engineer and all those guys no no no they were nice afterwards oh beforehand
they were like all right well do sound check this and that right and then
afterwards afterwards I know but no afterwards like you guys are really good
I saw them laughing yeah I want to say yeah and what I thought it was really nice
in the start no I know I did that there was a little I needed my dick suck before
yeah they didn't they were nice but they were they weren't sucking my dick
they're just trying to do their jobs I need I need people to be sucking my dick
put in the rider because on Saturday I did a casino in Sacramento and as soon
as I show up people just start sucking my dick not literally but like can we get
you something what do you need are you okay and I don't need that but Papa loves
it like and then I can play like we do weird shit like I like it when like
before the show people come up to me and they go couldn't get a photo I go
afterwards you know if I have time like I like acting like I'm fucking special
yeah which I'm not in my if I know I'm a piece of shit but there are like
moments are like hey can you just leave the room I need a little quiet to be
my you know like just I pull like little power moves dim the lights please yeah
yeah I love doing that shit you know yuck what do we yuck you don't like that
and then there was a restaurant only restaurant in town they were closed and
I go can you make a call see they'll keep open for us damn and they go we'll see
they called make it kept open and we were there like hours late yuck and they
do this at the whole shut the fuck up the whole staff stay and I purposely ate
as long as I could and this is I have a problem have you ever oh god I had this
is what I have a problem with because that was a special day for them wasn't
it yes you're superior if we go to a restaurant and the line is extremely
long and they don't make special concessions for him they don't make you
know they don't make okay you're gonna make me angry because I that you're
absolutely wrong what you're saying right now if no one recognizes you at a
restaurant and they treat you like everybody else you always say we got a
go let's leave no I don't yes you have true I always stay sweetie we always have
this two hour or dim song young what are the what's that place didn't tie fang
didn't tie fang yeah but that's because that's because people around there were
like taking pictures and they recognize you do that made you happy no but that
one time with my brother we stood we stood there for two hours and we waited
that's my point my point is a year ago we did that my point is I will wait you
know and you're wrong what you're saying yeah yeah yeah yeah you long enough to
know you yeah you know what you do when people recognize you what you're hoodie
up and you try to do I don't do that I have never done that you try to hide and
then when they come and you act like like you have no idea what they're talking
about do you do the paparazzi hand yeah he does that she does that yeah yeah
podcast I you lied and I just lied I just lied right just to make you feel
what I was feeling but I'm not lying either I'm not lying either like when
fans come up you like you put your hoodie down and you act indifferent that's
that sound like me probably Gilbert does it sound like her though yeah that's my
point is is that when you lie I lie and if you're truthful lady I'm truthful
because this is what you said to me on on the way to my sister's birthday yeah
it was you me and my friend Shandy in the car yeah and you guys got into a very
heated discussion about being treated differently by restaurant owners and you
specifically said they should be happy that I'm there for the sake of their
business I never said that and then she was like no they shouldn't yeah you're
just like every other patron and you attacked her like you guys were one
time you got pulled over by the cop and you cried you go I'm in I'm on a
podcast like you shouldn't be giving me a part and don't fuck around all right
yeah none of that's true and whatever I'm saying is not true but if you keep
lying I'm gonna lie yeah we did have a meeting at a coffee place or a no-seeds
in Calila y'all I'm on fucking Tiger Valley there we go and you know what that's
exactly what Calila does that's what to look at Calila that's what Calila does
yeah imagine if I was that way you are that way what do you mean imagine just
record yourself bitch you fucking skanky lying whore hey people oh god god I
would never act like that yeah you do but anyway that's let's move on and I
know that I have never also been pulled over in my life yeah you have let's move
on but see what I mean right now we're gonna roll back to a few episodes ago
where he admits to being a pathological liar that's fine you don't have to roll
back people could just listen to it but also everyone listening right now knows
that they slept king right I live in a deceptive smog or clouds new right and
you don't know what's in it and that's what people love the mystery of it I
could be lying not lying yeah I mean I left right hook yeah I'm not there I'm
there right we're not we're just listen what I'm saying right I'm relevant not
relevant I mean all kinds of things are happening right and that's what the
fucking thing and you kids listening know you know so whatever this lady is
saying Calila is a lie and I'm the truth that you don't want people to know to
get to know the real you yeah and why is it that you don't want people to get to
know you the real you like you're a cutter I was a cutter no you cutter now
I'm no longer yeah you do you cut your vagina yeah see what that's what I'm
saying what's a vagina that's also a very sensitive subject I know not cutting
the vagina but like just cutting in general not not for me but for others you
know listen listen listen guys I'm a good guy and let me I wait I wait a
restaurant I wait at restaurants yeah like normal guy I don't complain can I
tell you this one story in Sacramento we went to the sushi spot and then I and
then after this lie story I have a story to okay you go ahead I want to hear
these stories yeah yeah so we were at Sacramento yeah and our our server
wasn't particularly she was very just neutral she wasn't very nice she wasn't
very mean either she was very neutral and he didn't like that and so he because
he wasn't getting what he wanted he was scoping around looking at the restaurant
hoping that someone would recognize him yeah so he was making himself very
visible in the restaurant hoping that someone would ask for a picture and
that the woman would then treat him better yeah the server would then treat
him better and so it worked lies somebody came up and they're like oh Bobby
can we take a picture and then he waited he waited about 10 seconds to take the
before so that the woman would come around the server would come around and
and see and visualize the fact that he was getting asked to take a picture uh-huh
and that's who who is who the captain is okay so well it worked well listen to
this queen we're at a restaurant in Riverside I've never we're at a
restaurant we were at Riverside cafe
yelp it yelp it yelp it yeah all right it's real I'm sitting there and some
Mexican guy comes in and goes hey dude big fan Bob can I get an autograph and he
sat a pen down and a piece of paper and Kala takes the paper and she just puts
K.K. on it right and he says hey bitch right this is the only autograph that you
fucking need and handed it back to him he started crying right and you go you
fucking bean beater why did you call him a beater you did not have to be
raced into this race into it he's just a normal guy was working there what a
fucking asshole you are so Kala all fucking a guy beater that's K.K. at the
Riverside cafe right K.K. all right so I'm just saying every time you lie I'm
gonna lie okay so that's the new rule of the show so the thing went well Friday I
thought I did I thought that you guys I thought we all did good but I thought
that um that it was way better than we thought it was gonna be and then you know
berry cats showed up so I was really proud of us for this is one thing that
we did for sure was we you know grow up and show up and it even though we had
such a you know smaller crowd and you know the last live show we had fucking
Bobby really turned it on like I've never seen anyone turn it on before it
was like a fucking Ted talk gotta do a Ted talk we have to contact them for real
you know why you know why cuz I took two beta blockers no I sort of got
more beta blockers the better I am and I took two beta blockers and I decided
to do a Ted talk but what was great is berry cat showed up who's berry cat he
is a manager and he used to manage Chappelle and all these people and he
just ended up showing up I mean he was just there he had some other business
across the street he ran into Jessica yeah and Jessica was like talking on the
phone and he mentioned my name she mentioned my name and then Barry walked
up to her goes you know Bobby Lee and she goes yeah she goes he's doing up his
podcast you're at this podcast and then he came in we're watching Blade Runner
who by the way is a masterpiece masterpiece it's 2040 yeah it's it's
totally exactly what I wanted which was in that world Blade Runner world it just
every frame looked like a fucking painting yeah the pacing was slow but
really interesting and patient the story was simple and yet it was everything
about it I loved okay the sound the sound design yeah and my girlfriend says
I couldn't be a replicant because they couldn't get replicant eyes in my
chinky slits which is the fact don't say chinky slits babe I didn't say I for
the umpteenth time I didn't say the word chinky I swear to God you said I
swear to God you sit on my sobriety that you said chinky slits wow yeah wow that
you would you are a pathological and don't call that guy a fucking a beater
okay you have to stop bringing race into this all right but okay do you see
how big what okay when when when they get checked for your eyes got it you got
open your eye when you're when they resign the replicants right when they
turn them off they take the eyeball out yeah but that's how they you take it out
you know how it's made bitch they made they put the eyes in before then they
put the skin over the eyes yeah it's just so they they'll they'll so sure if I
was a replicant my skull would be normal right then they would put the eyes in
but then they would the skin up over my replicant phase would be chinky slits
right it's just like cute like our eyeballs are actually a lot bigger than
what exactly I get like yeah look at my eyes right now my eyes are just like
your eyes except the slits are fucking slitty why aren't they any Asian
replicants then because Hollywood's racist but George has a theory what's
this theory what's your theory what you had the theory actually yes no you had
the racist theory I just said the Asians were probably in the outer world why
did you say that Gilbert because they have money and you implied superiority
brought that up you know you said cuz they're smarter and they know how to
travel and they have money and they can get there yeah and I was like because the
world is very Asian right it looks like Tokyo yeah you but the future would
future looks Tokyo is the future so like the rest of the world starts looking
like that it's not racist to like borrow but you when I see a movie like that and
I don't see Asians in it I don't think that Hollywood's racist I just try to
make believe that we're in the movie you just can't see us like we're hiding like
when transformers are fighting in the middle of the street you see a trash can
and there's a Cambodian family in there oh they're just smarter yeah they're
smart they're hiding from yeah and every once well you can't see it but they
peek their heads out yeah and they go I'll transfer the transformer and then go
back down you know they're trash can they're not a Mustang yeah yeah it's
only the white people they're like what's going on and they're like out and
trying to like resolve the problem then they die yeah you know because you guys
are dumb there is a Hollywood is weird in that way but you know what I can't
complain because I'm working so I would feel like if I complain that they're
gonna take it away but fuck it they're a little racist and when I see a movie like
Blade Runner I'd like to see more of my kind in it but you know I feel like
they're trying maybe I don't know it doesn't want to talk about that anymore
though yeah about the injustices of us in Hollywood I'm it's tired right it's a
tired topic and there's nothing we can do about it all we can do is represent
and do the best we can right right Gilbert mm-hmm how's that going for you
Hollywood I think it's actually helped me that I'm Asian kind of but you're
working what are you going out you're going out a lot or no going out not as
much going out but developing a project how's that going good it's going good
surprise of how well it's going you got a deal don't jinx it don't jinx it
something may happen you're in it how am I in it well we have to contact we have
to contact CAA and see if you'll do it no then never mind I'm not don't do it
I'm not gonna be in it because you want to tell me what would happen what
happened but even what happened no it's just a show so I can say that like it's
a project it's like my version of master none but growing up in Georgia meets
Jackie Chan's right now but you would know no it's good I like it when I
think I feel like once you're in something it's gonna be great thanks but
um you play the bad guy though that's fine um Harbor Weinstein oh in trouble
and what exactly did he do he settled so they the was it the New York Times yeah
yeah basically over the years between like an extended amount of time he
settled out of court for a lot of like sexual harassment them cases
complaints what do you do a lot of things like one of things that like he
would ask girls to come to his hotel room they think it's like a business
meeting and then he'll just masturbate in front of them or tell him to come to
the shower okay all right into a corner and also like I think Ashley Judd like
he made her like watch him shower this is in the 90s so I think that she was
like relatively young actress then but shame on you Harvey Wein Wein Weinstein
you shouldn't use your power to get in the last true yeah but I mean they're
just other ways to do it
there are other ways to go to Riverside Cafe going to go to normal day
it's like um yeah it's wrong I guess yeah you know why it's wrong because you
there's also dreams attached to it and people's hopes and dreams and all that
stuff is attached to it and it's like it's a little it's a little it's it's
wrong to do that but do you know do I understand where Harvey Weinstein is
coming from or what his as a male I mean there's a 1% of my mind that goes I
kind of get why you would act in a horrible way like that like I do with
Ted Bundy
he's just digging himself no I gotta try to dig myself out of this whole guys
okay try again try try to dig myself way out of this fucking hole all right
Harvey Weinstein what he did was borderline it is illegal it's wrong and
he should be he should face consequences good number one get fired from his
company he did he built from the ground up spent 40 fucking years with his own
hands building yeah but he probably fired himself and here's another thing is
is that if I was in a position of power and I had money and I didn't meet my
beautiful girlfriend Kalilah my life partner and my forever my forever
person but just hypothetically I would just go all right I have millions and
millions of millions of dollars then I would just kind of like I'll just get
a hooker there are a lot of types of people that it's easy to just get hookers
because they have all the money in the world but there are a lot of types of
people who like a good challenge but who cannot take no for an answer and it
really really just punches them straight into their ego you know and so yeah I
think that it's easier you know when you're so powerful and you have a lot
of money maybe things come so easy that you want something to be a little bit
more difficult and I proposed Sandy danto he's a he opened for me this
Saturday we were talking about we were talking about Harvey Weinstein but it
got in this weird conversation about like if we were in a coma like I said I
go if you were in a coma Sandy and I snuck into the hospital and I fucked
you in the ass right I know just Sandy's face yeah yeah I fucked him in the
ass right but I wore a condom right and then I let a year pass so whatever if
there was any wounds healed and then so he woke up he has no diseases nothing
happened right and then you know he's you know he's out of coffee bean or
whatever I run into him I go hey just let you know like a year ago I snuck into
the hospital and I fucked you in the ass but you know you wouldn't have known that
you know the only way you would know is cuz I'm telling you right now I said
would you be mad you know what he said no that's a friend that's a friend FYI
and can I just say this right now can I say this if I'm in a coma yeah and I'm
talking about George and and and Gilbert and you fucked me in the ass just
listen I know I'm just saying with a condom alright I woke up a year later I
didn't know anything about it I have no diseases nothing don't share it with me
just move on oh you'd rather not know I mean even if you didn't know if even if
I did I would be on that's weird but I'm not gonna press charges but I you know
I would just probably be mad at you too because of the power thing of a
relationship yeah right right tag team yeah hey let's prank him he's in a coma
what I'm gonna say that is but let me say this if I wake up right and the doctor
goes you have an infection your butthole because you have one-year-old
calm that's in your butthole which caused an infection because you didn't
protect yourself and you came inside me we would have a very big problem okay
what yeah okay I'm just I'm just saying in this hypothetical world like a
slow burn as he looks if it was yeah yeah just don't do that okay noted notice
interest do you have you guys seen the George like just creeping in a hospital
yeah yeah he is so much for my plans when you get in a coma I guess I can't do
that anymore so you're saying that what you don't know won't hurt you yeah it
does also if I'm in a coma and nothing happened okay right then what what the
fuck do I care I have to you guys have to watch the movie talk to her it's by
Pedro motive are it's about exactly what you're talking about a girl in a coma
she's up tundish he doesn't cheat but on her nurse who's a male nurse starts to
really like take to her and fall in love with her I'll leave it there but no no
don't leave it there you guys are hard right now who plays a male nurse what
who plays a male nurse yeah what do you mean bar damn like what no no I don't
actually don't know was he good-looking the he was like okay yeah he was cute I
guess yeah well he's an actor so he was like a brooding and he wasn't like yeah
but he's still not ugly you know okay like I was married Meg Ryan was it what's
his name who Dennis Quaid no whatever no no no it's a I don't remember who this
I'm Spanish actress but it's a it's a really good movie you guys should watch
it's called talk to her okay let me give you another scenario Gilbert okay okay
you're in a coma I'm in a coma right and somebody injected something in your
penis okay we'll get you get it gives you an erection you're about to fuck you
are two years before this is going what no you're gonna fuck me no no but if let
me just say this right so you're in a coma right it someone injects something
in your penis so you can get a heart on sure more blood and then like Natalie
Portman came in and rid you you mean she you know me she she had sex with you
okay and then she then she leaves you're later you wake up but she has a baby by
you would you be mad this is interesting I don't know I want to say yeah you
violate me but would you be mad Natalie real real if I'm being honest yeah I was
raped so I would be upset at that but hey man now would you press charges yes
you would yeah because she has money no but she's like it's our baby let's raise
it to you that's fine but also you owe me money for fucking me you're very rich
man no you're gonna get married you're gonna have some of her money oh so we're
getting married now Alamone California come on okay then I'm fine this seems
okay but now okay now same thing Kathy Bates okay she did the same thing
that's fine she's a comedic genius she is a genius I would gladly have her go
ahead also she has money too right notice the trend this money Jenna I'd be
upset I think I'd be madder the more attractive the woman is because like at
the less attractive I'd like feel like okay I'm the the coma dudes the only
chance for her you know so yeah I feel pity you know like that's okay maybe
but the only part minute yeah this bitch is crazy yeah it's just crazy I know
the worst would be this is if like okay so you're in a coma Natalie
Portman comes in she fucks you right you wake up a year later right and she
tells you she did it and you go okay cool can we do it again sick no you can
never fuck yeah yeah so I wasn't even able to even experience are doing it
she just had a fetish yeah yeah that would be the worst yeah she had charges
I would press charges then oh well she had that yeah for me now while I'm
conscious or I'm gonna press charges yeah and but what if she's like such a
weird can we get her as a guest please what if she's like but you had to keep
your eyes closed and not move I don't care I'm gonna feel it okay okay yeah
your role play yeah yeah yeah so that's that's that's interesting that's a
scenario I'm trying to think how I would feel if it was like Brad Pitt or like
you know one of my top fives Jon Snow okay you're in a coma babe right he's
wearing the full game of Thrones outfit I want to say the right thing I want to
say that it's wrong but honestly so you're in a coma and then a year later you
wake up and he comes up to you goes kid Harrington goes I snuck in I had sex
with you thank you really thank you so much really then I would deal with all
the female groups being like whoa what are you doing honestly like you that
that is a really good question because I you know me like I'm so sensitive about
like rape and all that right but I fantasize over that guy so much that I
take him in any way that I can even if it means that I never got to like enjoy
it awake but now I'm pregnant yeah it's so fucked up to say but I think I would
be okay I should would be okay now let me ask you this now that's not kid
Harrington because I feel like that guy that does the camera I know why it's
okay it's Bryce not Bryce the other one oh I didn't lift one James can I explain
first why I would be okay with it yeah why I want I want to explain why I would
be okay with I would be okay with it because in my mind today alive and
awake I've already given him permission to do whatever he wants so the
permission is already there now if it was somebody I didn't know and there was
no permission I yeah I give him permission in my dreams okay stop okay
stop great I like that yeah I'm gonna do I'm gonna ask another question that
follow up all right so it was George it was not kid Harrington it wasn't kid
Harrington yeah but it was a guy when you were in a coma just hear me out when
you're in a coma another HBO show came out right and it was a hit better than
Game of Thrones yeah and the lead in that movie show you don't know who he is yeah
but he's way better than kid Harrington okay better looking and nicer yeah he
did it so it's like this guy that you didn't give permission but he's big but
he's huge and he's that good looking and all that no I don't think that I would be
okay with it because I have no connection yeah I have no but what if after
okay then what what would happen if you what was just what would happen is you
press charges and then you start watching the show and you go oh fuck I love
do it like them that's what I'm saying like what I I might change the way I
feel over time yeah yeah but also I think that I would just feel like ultra
violated yeah I never I've never dreamt about yeah never yeah that's just another
human body another human stranger body entering me I think the point of this
right now I think it's just don't do any of that when somebody's in a coma don't
leave them alone leave them alone until they do not impregnate them yeah what
is wrong with us that was funny it was a funny you don't think about stuff like
that laying in bed I think that it's a good like you know fucking you know to
question your own ethics it's a thick yeah it's a thinker because when you said
Ashley Jen I was like what do you guys think did you guys hear that story with
that Dutch inventor with a submarine are my the only one you're the
only one you're probably the only person tell me what happened it's a big story
there's a Dutch inventor and it's just sounds like a lie again it's not a lie
you guys okay got it so Dutch inventor there's a Dutch inventor he's an
after this I have a story about an Egyptian clockmaker all right it makes
clogs all right
yeah it just sounds weird yeah I don't even want to tell the story I want to
know now what is it a Mediterranean windsurfer
why did he make somebody make something yeah that's okay this Dutch
submarine maker what happened this Dutch inventor has invented multiple types
of submarines and I'm not sure if he invited a journalist to come on board
with him or if he was asked you know to have you know I don't know the
circumstances behind that but there was a female journalist by the name of Kim
Hall who goes into this homemade submarine and then while they're there
the submarine allegedly sinks he's alive how does a submarine sink I mean like
I don't know how it's a something faulty and then you know something happened
okay because it's something really sounds like you're making it up really no
because yeah a submarine is also doesn't always
it flew yeah it flew okay so there was some accident in the ocean or you know
some body of water he's alive he survives the accident she doesn't he tells
police that you know she doesn't make it the police don't buy it so they launch
an investigation her remains wash up on shore and they realized that not only
was she dismembered she was decapitated but she had eight stab wounds in her
body and when they looked at his hard drive that was retrieved they had a
lot of like torture videos of like torturing women and killing them and
like sexual like fetishizing the torture and stuff like that but this is a
real story I'm telling you it's all over the news right now if I okay I'm
gonna just say this right now he's arrested no stop stop all over the news
this lady says yes I'm gonna Google news I'm right now I doubt what you say the
top I'm gonna just Google news and I'm gonna see what the top ten is okay all
I wonder is it he's such a great inventor how can he like invent some
heavier weights yeah okay so that's another thing he actually put metal
in here we go here we go here we go yeah but it's still surface anyway here's
the top news right here fast-moving wildfires kill ten and Anaheim yes
George Clooney reacts to Harvey Weinstein wow okay Texas tech student in
custody after campus police officer is fairly shot news is all down the odd
bedfellows fighting for Catalan independence North Korea hacked there's
no fucking submarine in any of this fucking you were lying bastard fine I
made it up I swear to God look I'm going page after page there is no fucking
submarine no Denmark nothing that's all over the news it is all I'm gonna go I'm
gonna Google Denmark Sun Marine and if nothing comes up if I sort of got it if
nothing comes up with Denmark Sun Marine that's it we're stopping this fucking
podcast he's Denmark it's not Denmark yeah isn't it Netherlands yeah is it
Netherlands yeah Dutch okay Dutch and Danish right Danish submarine Danish
he's got my goodness all right Dutch fuck it submarine submarine okay here we
go here it is Walrus class submarine Wikipedia oh my god a list of
submarines of the Netherlands Russian warships drive away Dutch submarine
tailing fleet in the Mediterranean Russia ships chase away Dutch submarine in
Mediterranean that's what's in the news when it comes to that no she's not
blonde that's why Fox isn't covering it she's a redhead yeah Fox only covers
like dead blondes oh really no that's not it that's just what I've noticed like
look look look Dutch submarine what happened nothing if you're a hot blonde
Fox news New York New York everything the independent New York Times and PR
what would I put Google oh my god you got to Google three words that's the
difficulty what it what is it Dutch submarine murder a murder
TR why do I have what does he need to verify my story because he's a
journalist anyways RIP can haul it's not all over the news and that's that's
why I did all that what I'm saying is this guy was trying it was was attempting
to be crafty he had put he had attached metal into her torso to try and sink her
body and he had done he had gone through certain and not only that the stab wounds
were saying they weren't that's not how he killed her it was to deflate her lungs
and so that no air would get trapped so her body wouldn't surface whoa crazy this
guy's fucking sick a lot of weird thoughts yeah like imagine the the amount
of planning and you know the type of knowledge to kind of you know anyways I
thought you'd probably have a can I tell you about the Egyptian clockmaker yeah
I've been waiting for this one love to hear this story well about a week ago an
Egyptian clock we sure he was Egyptian it was for sure yeah right he has a
little clock shop right and in Cairo that's how I know that's how you name
one other city in Egypt no because I don't know because I read this story
it's a Cairo all right and he's a misopotamia he hand makes these
clogs and a lot of people were buying these these clogs wearing a very
comfortable shoes very soft and he would people would walk on them and they
would hear it would squish and juice would come out oh yeah juice from where
from the clog from the shoe it was wet there was something there was like a
materially in the in there that was like wet you know when you stood on it
right turns out they're fallopian tubes wow they're made clogs are made out of
fallopian yeah he killed all these like school kids Cairo Cairo and he makes
these clogs with these little over the news it's all over the news wow I'm
curious by typing Cairo you probably get more information than this fucking
that's summery bullshit all right no sweetie don't lie I mean you think that I
just like dig for obscure stories this was a real story why what would you even
oh guys you just listen to all you read is American news that's your problem yeah
the important shit like nuclear war and stuff like that but um what a weird
podcast this was we're not even close to being done yet so you better come up with
some shit that's the question too it's like why can't you guys come up with
shit I just tried to talk about some random fucking dutch submarine bullshit
because I was in my mind at the time I mean that's like a stretch a stretch I'm
gonna sit here we're gonna sit here quietly and you come up with a next
topic yeah I could I could talk about all kinds of shit right now is Ted talks
yeah I got Ted talks but he is Teddy talk I want to talk about the kind of
guess we want on this podcast okay okay who should we get oh god we're not gonna
talk about that I will say I'll say your dream what would be like the ultimate
guess in your house like that you were like that's why I want Obama like Mark
Amaran God yeah if Trump wanted to do what do we do it we'd have to right yeah
yeah cuz I think that I have it have a lot of great like questions for him yeah
but I don't think he's one of those guys that I don't like revere or have too
much respect for so I feel like I could probably just ask him but if it was
Obama I would be tongue-tied this guy's so smart I he could combat me at
everything and all things yeah but I feel like Trump is like kind of bossick
so I feel like I could really you know I would feel free to ask him he just looks
like he had he would have a penis that you could really see the veins or
stressed out no like he just has this pink penis and just dark veins that you
can see that's kind of protruding out of a varicose yeah I can your feet varicose
dick I would I would pull out your dick I feel like he would be happy to know you
wouldn't because they would reveal the size you guys so tuning in for the Trump
episode where Bobby just straight up asked the president pull out your dick
he's been on Howard Stern a lot so I'm sure Howard would have asked him so I don't know
no but it's different to have him in the you know as the commander in chief right
look okay possibly yeah that's what Howard Howard when he was started to run
Howard like kept on like a plating like I want the fun Trump back when he would
talk about like how hot his daughter was yeah let's talk about comas
I have a genuine question for you yeah are you struggling to find another topic
to talk about I just because of we did one Friday the live it just I just feel
burnt about it really to be honest with you okay so we have to talk about this
and we can be open with our audience yeah Gilbert and I generally come
prepared with basic like five points yeah talk about right so when I hear you
slipping or I feel like you're about to go quiet and you have nothing I throw
those in right yeah um why why don't you do that he's a freestyle you just like
to well I mean I also understand that I've done I've done three four hundred
radio stations I've done every podcast that that's out there yeah you know
I so I do stand up so I just there's just a lot of talking it's a lot of to
remember to what you've already said yeah so yeah so I mean if you were to say
to me right now if I had never done a podcast before how long I could go I
could probably go for 10 hours I'm not kidding yeah I have so many but I've
done so many podcasts we've done over a hundred of these yeah right that it's
like it's hard so you can you know question my laziness or my untalented
and all that I'm just telling you right now that we just did one Friday that
was like a long one I traveled the Sacramento came back I'm a little burnt
and I'm sorry okay well then I mean I thought the coma thing was good I did I
thought the Cairo Cairo yeah Egyptian Cairo thing was good we didn't even get
into the metric Mediterranean cheese maker right I thought the stuff about you
lying and then me lying was good it was all that stuff was good and a lot of
times the Trump thing you know you know we can meander and it could be just I
think people want to hear us talk okay so you know but I don't understand your
fucking attitude right now because we challenging me we and a few rates me you
know I haven't if I'm gonna challenge you some more because someone wrote this
question and I feel like I need to get an honest answer from you okay I'm not
intentionally trying to kick up dirt I just want a real if I'm gonna I'm not
gonna answer it if it's the Asia no no no okay dear Tiger Belly squad I listen to
the first part of the Stevie Levy show with David Cho first off David takes
over the podcast he is a bit pompous I must say anyway I don't like how he
paints Bobby I think Bobby and his Tiger Belly team need to take a stand and
fire back show Bobby some loyalty and back him up he had to work the weekend
of Steve's birthday party he has done plenty of great things for Steve the
podcast introducing him to people in the industry including Cho himself team
slept king what did he say yeah I don't know I think that he was I honestly I
didn't watch it but we've gotten several emails about the same exact thing
saying that that I don't know like a George you you edited it so I'm not what
it we are what it what was it you're a bad brother for not being at his birthday
party because you were working in New Mexico okay is that it yeah I think that
was generally it okay I want to say this to David okay David I love David I
think he's a super talented guy and he I consider him a brother okay but my
brother Steve you know I'm sorry but he's not just my brother he's my child
I've had to carry him like he was my offspring okay there was a time I mean
for fucking 40 years man it's like paying his thing getting him giving him
money you know he had medical problems his tooth this and that and I've done
everything I can to take care of my brother and if David thinks that me not
showing up to my brother's birthday when I had to work is wrong then that's that
but I think he was just he's just stirring yeah something that's just
bullshit you know he doesn't really believe that he knows I'm as good of a
brother to my brother than he is to his brothers you know so yeah I think it's
just somebody's trying to stir some shit yeah Dave and I Dave and I when we see
each other it's you know he came to my birthday party and my dinner and I
literally when I see him he's like family to me so there's also nothing that he
would say that he wouldn't tell to your face I feel like he he he says these
things to you to kind of tease you to tease Steve and to try to get a rise in
conversation out of it I don't think there's like bad intention behind it at
all he's just trying to stir up a conversation yeah and to see if Steve if
it gets something or a rise out only guy I have ever had a problem with with
dvdsa and that whole crew is on Asa's driver what's his name oh Bill Poon
Bill Poon that fucking guy I've had a problem with really yeah he wrote an
article how like my star is declining I did a bunch of stoner movies in the
90s and I'm like now nothing and whatnot and when he wrote that article he
was who did he write the article it's like on this blog not not new york time
not new york time not new york time okay but he did a blog about it I'm like
what were you ever mean to him I don't I don't know but you know did he think he
was being funny at this vlog no I think no I think he there I think there is
there was something that he was feeling toward me that that was like I
challenged him in a certain way you know but I didn't I didn't like it he's he
has every right to do that blog that was also four years ago ever since then he's
been really sweet with you and sweet with me yeah yeah I'm just saying this
right now I don't forget you're like an elephant I really don't I there I know
a story is from way back and people go you remember that I go yeah I always
remember revenge oh for revenge I always remember a lot and it's not a good
quality of mine you know but it's like if somebody slights me a smile and they
might forget about it but I have a little chest in my fucking heart and it
their names are in there I have a list of names in my heart like Arya yeah I do
have a list you have a list and I don't take revenge in the in in the classic
sense of like I go out of my way to get revenge on them or to hurt them I either
do it through success you know where I do it because God just reveals revenge
there are just there's certain things that God does on my behalf to and I
don't lash out I'll give an example there was an agent when I first moved to LA
who said that I was never gonna make it okay I could say his name but I don't
want to and then years later I helped one of his clients get on something that
I was doing and he was there at you know this taping of the show and I turned
around and there he is the agent and I coulda went I want I'm not gonna make it
right but instead I know but instead I gave him a hug a good to see you dude but
he knows yeah and the way I'm acting like being above it right we made that's
my revenge he fucking knows right so you don't do it like in an aggressive
manner you just go you know I proved you wrong yeah you know and that's and
that's what I mean by revenge you know I think being successful is the best
revenge yeah you know and being to and staying above the fray like just being
too like that ching chong Wally Wong oh fuck this guy you knew Wally Wong a lot
yeah oh this ching chong but what do you what story though about you know I
told you about the why he doesn't like me yeah yeah I did I was on a show called
make me laugh yeah I was living in San Diego this is a 1996 right I was I got
my first TV show make me laugh it was on Comedy Central I did one of his jokes
on that because I had no material was an open micro how old are you I was 24 mm-hmm
okay unethical I very unethical but I was living in San Diego when I did the
show in LA I drove back to San Diego and I told them I stole this joke from you
and you apologize you didn't do it on purpose you did it because you panicked
correct I did it because I didn't know what else to do or you know it was lie
you didn't like it was a FYI the the bit was hacky as it is and I would never
do it now right I told this guy and then he just never he just responded in like
a really like negative way and he he told people that I was a thief right and
and here's what really aggravated me was I was living when I first moved to LA I
was living with this girl named Sheyma Tosh she she's she's a very good
comics and impressionist she's caretops opener she lives in Vegas and you know I
moved out of Sheyma's house I getting started getting successful and the one
day I was in her car and she goes um oh you can't believe this letter while he
wrote me this is years later mm-hmm and I go what is it and she goes he wrote hey
if you can help me get some shows in LA this and that you know me that'd be cool
but I refuse to work with Bobby Lee in the let this is this is after like why
would I work with you yeah you piece of shit you know and like so I have he's in
my fucking box forever that shit what but it wasn't completely unwarranted like
he obviously it is unwarranted I'll tell you why it is unwarranted I tell you why
the other night I was at the comedy store and this guy comes up to me go dude
this Asian comedian just did one of your jokes I go how long has he been doing it
oh he's new I'm fine yeah you know I went to an open mic yeah and somebody
basically did your entire act recently probably two years ago yeah I was at
flappers and a kid did almost an entire all like back to back to like I know the
sequence of Bobby's joke so well and I told you remember yeah and then you said
who was this kid and I was like he's just an open miker he's he looks very
nervous he's not very like good at what he does and what Bobby do okay it's okay
yeah I mean Ali Wong yeah Ali Wong had a girl you know a guy called I was like
fine I'm fine she's like this guy I saw I got I fine you know yeah so that's my
point is is that you know when you first start five six years of doing stand up
it's not right you know but people get nervous they might unintentionally do it
this and that it's when you do it on a special you know like your one hour
HBO special you're in an established comic and you're stealing jokes from
younger comics that's wrong especially if it's a very specific joke yeah but my
point though is is that I was new I I'm the one that told him he should have
reacted that way and he's so not funny he's like one of the worst comedians I
have ever seen and I've been all over the world I've done stand up he's the
worst I've ever seen damn on helpful advice with Bobby and Kaleila this is
from anonymous I'm 23 years old I've been single for five years love and have
loved this relationship I have with myself by I'm thinking it might be time
to give a girl a chance to share something serious and intimate with I'm
currently in a cultural mind fuck I'm Mexican-American I'd like to have kids
someday and for them to speak Spanish currently I'm culturally aware of my
heritage and I'm grateful for it but I'm also open to other ethnicities and
cultures I'm physically attracted to Mexican women but I find them to be
boring slash basic and too traditional and culturally conservative for me they
want hard-working men with a lot of money and that seems to be the only
interest for them that's all women I find myself more attracted to white women or
other ethnicities for their open and interesting personalities at the end of
the day I still want my future children to know Spanish Spanish have everything
I do just shit on your entire race race generalize a couple women on white
dude folks for not being able to learn Spanish like what if you have a white
wife you can't learn Spanish but not really quite just so he wants the he
he wants to get culture within his family and his kids he wants to know
Spanish the heritage but he's more attracted to white women and other
ethnicities because of his reasoning that it seems like all Mexican women
he's met he's met are boring slash basic and too traditional culturally there
is a white woman out there that speaks Spanish you got to find that girl also
there's Mexican women there are Mexican women there are not that oh my god I
think that your world is probably where is he from which I'm curious what yeah
cuz okay listen there's a lot of variety in every culture I come to LA I think
maybe your world is a little small right now if you come to LA there are 50
varieties of Mexican women more than that probably you know like there are 50
varieties of white girls like there are 50 varieties of Asian women it's from
basic to rocket scientists and so I think that maybe you should expand your
horizons a little bit more because circles everything that you want out of a
woman and if it's important to you that she is Mexican you can find a Mexican
rocket scientist there there they shouldn't be important to you what race
is in the world and George is right like you know if speaking Spanish is such
a such a big deal for you you should teach your child Spanish like you
shouldn't it shouldn't always you know it shouldn't always be the
responsibility of it could be your responsibility yeah and oh yeah I don't
know where this person lives but 23 yeah many yeah you have a lot of he's been
single for five years yeah listen I didn't meet Kalyla until it's 42 42 he
lied on his tinder he said he was 37 I lied to win and he won and I won so any
what a great podcast I want you to have a take on this guy I love it I'm
loving it like McDonald's I'm loving it I'm quick MMA recap Gilbert I'll start
quick MMA Demetrius Johnson thoughts Demetrius Johnson really impressed me
his fucking little arm bar thing after the slam thing was fucking it video
genius pound for pound the greatest I don't know about that but he's great
he didn't even breathing with his mouth Ferguson is a real is the guy that can
beat Connor McGregor you sure about that Connor a Connor Bobby said that you
will lose to Ferguson and he doesn't the fight we're gonna just talk MMA a quick
second so just handle it if you can't handle it just try your best three
minutes well three minutes and then you can we'll get to the other stuff yeah so
your thoughts on just the main event Demetrius Johnson and Ray Borg oh dude
Ray Borg is a fucking warrior and a really tough guy but DJ is just on a
different level I don't think I've ever seen any fighter being that he's like
six types ahead of everyone else like even when Ray Borg had his back for a
quick second and you looked at DJ's eyes and there was no panic there was
nothing it was just knowledge oh I know this I'm gonna shake him off and I'm
going to you know lay on top of him so calm yeah he's just he has got that like
IQ like nobody else and the fact that his his what do you call this he he's so
in shape I don't know most 125ers are in shape but he's on a different level
after every round Gilbert did you even see him breathe heavy now he's like
talking to Matt Hume casually yeah did I do this right did I do that wrong cool
let's go yeah amazing I truly do think he's pound for pound the greatest I don't
think he needs to take another fight at 125 he already broke the record I say
what do you have to fight against Henry Sehudo I mean he's cleared the division
out if you want to keep extending the streak but I think the next thing for
his legacy is just go up to 135 and take it or whoever wins Cody yeah and second
next fight I guess Ferguson and Kevin Lee I like either them would be Connor you
think you don't think either of them I definitely don't think Kevin Lee's the
guy I don't know Bobby's a real Tony Ferguson fan I like him too I think he
is because the one thing I really like about Tony Ferguson is like he knows
how to get he knows how to survive really bad spots every fight he's always
losing then he wins yeah because I that was pretty dangerous for him after the
first round or I thought like he was you know but after the first round Kevin I
was like he's too tired yeah after he tried to finish but couldn't that's a
lot of like energy need a staff infection to I don't know how that was a big effect
you oh if you're you're just because Luke has fought on one too before yeah
you're just compromised you he's probably on antibiotics I don't know if he
was but you just don't feel like yourself you have a fucking infection you
know so your stamina is gonna be off it's just that was a big thing on his
chest I was worried it would explode but thank God it didn't cool yeah I think
it was a really the main fight and then we're very doomed thought well I know
buddy Walter it wasn't the worst he took it on like eight hour notice yeah or
like three hour notice opponent change right away yeah so I wasn't too
invested in that fight I was before when it was still Derek Lewis but yeah he
has back injury like he woke up and it couldn't move his back okay we're
done with our MMA minute George anything on your end or first of all shows for
Bobby right now nothing nothing no shows no shows for Bobby because he's
currently filming yeah if you're a Bobby live go check it out George anything
on your end you're making that face nothing a shout out to Burton Guthrie
relative who actually listens to this so oh really how do you think any shout-outs on your end
I have a shout out to Sarah Derboso's workmate Rachel who also listens that's
so sweet okay so there's this lady I think her name is pronounced Linel or
Linel Linel Baker here look at her look how cute she is I won't show her camera
look how cute she is oh man she's a listener yeah she is very unlikely she
looks like she's probably in her 40s a beautiful black woman and this is what
she said she always says what's up to me every time she thinks I look cute she's
always like hey baby you look real cute in this week's episode I love her but we
you know how we had the God discussion yeah and I was like you know I'm an
atheist blah blah blah and you know she's a Christian but this is what I like
this is how I like being approached I don't like when people like shove their
religion down my throat the way she does it is the sweetest she wrote me she
says hi baby I just love your baby now baby driver I mean it's so endearing it
makes me feel warm warm fuzzies she says hi baby I just had to stop and reach
out to you love I respect your decision to be an atheist and yet I do know I
need to share that this one thing with you is that God uses whomever he chooses
even an atheist and I see God in you he is using you in so many ways he sent you
to Bobby and Bobby realizes only God had the power to bless him and give him the
joy he lacked all his life by sending Kalyla to him God loves you you're one
of his greatest creations next to me and she put a lot of hearts she's funny
let's get around I was like oh that's so sweet that's really sweet yeah made me
feel nice inside so shout out to her and whatever her shout outs for anyone yeah
no reverse shout outs I want to thank everybody that came to the show oh yeah
yeah dude you guys are fucking clutch if you came to the Friday show that could
have been an absolute disaster you guys are the best you are clutch and we are
forever thankful for showing up yeah shout out to Eddie the one at that Bobby
interviewed that's how to finger bless me on stage that was a kind of a funny
show though that was a really funny show yeah you guys should come out to them
next I think the other girl was Charlene the girl who had the podcast question
there was another guy I forgot his name we guess what race he was and he was
Filipino oh I remember his name no I don't I remember it nope never mind yeah
I got too many names I forgot them all I did yeah but thank you everyone who came
out I tried to remember everybody's names and that just forced me to like my
brain overloaded yeah but I'll recognize your faces next time I see you guys cool
I think that's all we have for this week you can follow me in all forms of
social media at Calamity K that's k-h-a-l-a-m-i-t-y-k and you can follow
Tiger Belly on Instagram at Tiger Belly and on Twitter at the Tiger Belly and
emails any questions at the Tiger Belly at gmail.com and if you'd like to send
us any packages to our PO box or send Bobby some dream water that's powdered
it is 1626 North Wilcox Avenue number 161 Hollywood California 90028 damn I
get it yeah and then George if people want to you know get some of these
products that we're talking about today the promo codes are yeah we got
Brooklyn Brooklyn.com promo code Belly and of course zip recruiter promo code and
ziprecruiter.com slash Belly. Have a good one. Bye.
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