TigerBelly - Episode 121: Geo Antoinette is a Pioneer
Episode Date: December 13, 2017Geo knows the lie. Bobo double lies. We talk banker blues, hypothermia in the wild, all year round xmas trees, korean gargoyles, tic tic, and a beautiful birth story.See Privacy Policy at htt...ps://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Blast off bro.
We're going into space bro.
Fuck yeah bro.
God damn it.
I can't breathe up here bro.
Give me some of that fucking dehydrated sundae bro.
Here you go bro.
Thank you.
Why are we talking like this bro?
Is this new pollutant bro?
The ice cream?
No my dick.
My dick is new pollutant bro.
Okay bro.
Welcome, welcome to, welcome to the broadcast with me.
I'm the best in the world.
I'm top of my game.
Top of his game.
Killing the game.
Like the king is king is.
Hey, welcome to Tiger Belly.
I'm the special one.
I'm the Asian Morpheus.
I'm the one with the wings that you can't see, but you feel it.
See me fly.
See me fly away.
And we got Gilbert.
Golondos.
What's up?
What's up bro?
What's up man?
We got my beautiful, I mean Kalyla and I are just like different level of fucking relationship
as of late.
Huh babe?
Just fucking bonding.
Beyond bonding.
Oh it's strong.
It's not even love dude.
It's like, it's not even hate.
It's like above it.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like a new level.
Yeah we got.
Like I bust out the cassava.
Alright anyway we got, we got to introduce our guests.
Yes, okay.
But we got George.
And we got handsome Bryce.
Oh handsome Bryce today.
We got handsome Bryce man.
Dr. fuckable.
Oh man that's his new nickname.
Dr. fuckable.
What's George?
Unfuckable.
Oh.
Nurse unfuckable.
Nurse?
Yeah not even a doctor.
But you know what we got here guys?
We have somebody that we admire.
You know our family, Tiger Belly is very close families with the just kidding news bunch.
My brother's been there.
I've been there.
Rosa bombs been there.
Rosa bombs been there.
And I think this woman made it happen initially because our contact was you and I first.
Before I remember.
Like on Instagram, Facebook.
Oh yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
And then you're like, come on do some videos or whatever.
And so I did videos.
So Gio Antona everybody give her a round of applause.
This is nice.
It's nice?
Yeah.
It's really nice.
Gio what are you?
Mexican I thought you guys were talking about me when you guys were doing all those acts.
That's why I thought you were doing that.
That feels close to home.
Hey bro it's dead.
But you're a hundred percent Mexican?
Yeah.
Honorary Asian.
Yeah.
Yeah for sure.
Because I always thought you were Filipino because you hung out with somebody.
I thought you were Mexican.
Yeah.
We just connected.
Yeah bro.
We both got the forearm tattoos.
Yeah we got it.
So how did you, how were you like surrounded by so many Asians then?
I don't know.
It's really weird.
I think I was probably Japanese or something in my past life.
I'm gonna be fucking weird but yeah my mom said as a little kid like I would turn on
like channel 18 or whatever.
We have like a local channel 18 out here and I would just listen to like Japanese stuff.
Wow.
It was weird.
And then I mean just the area that I grew up in there was like a lot of Asians.
What?
Alhambra?
Where is it?
Alhambra?
Alhambra.
Where is it?
Manabello, Monterey Park.
Monterey Park is there.
Yeah.
I shit a ton of Asians.
And then so you grew up with them?
I did.
I grew up with a bunch of Asians and I don't know.
They, I just never, I just never thought I was Mexican.
And then you all, you only really dated Asian guys, right?
Yeah.
I had like four series boyfriends.
Pioneer over there.
Pioneer.
That's a pioneer right there.
Trailed laser.
Really?
Why?
Because you're a tall, beautiful, curvaceous Latina.
Wow.
So you are a pioneer.
She's Florida.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Yeah, bro.
You're a tall, vivacious Latina girl.
Vivacious, vivacious.
And you hooked up with a bunch of Asian, what kind of Asians though?
Um, one was half white, went half Chinese.
Was that the first one?
Yeah.
So you eased into it.
Yeah.
And then I got the Korean.
Then you had a Korean one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was that the worst one?
I think it was.
The way she.
The family was dope.
Yeah.
But was it the worst one?
Yeah.
He was, he was pretty shitty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, Korea, this, I'm like, why are you dating me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why are you dating?
Okay.
Well, that sucks.
But the third one, the third one.
Bart.
Bart.
So you've had three.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bart.
Was he Chinese?
Yeah.
He's Chinese.
He's Taiwanese.
You got to get it right or else they get it.
I don't have to get anything.
I'll be honest with you.
Yeah.
Fuck them all.
Let me just say something right now.
I don't have to get anything right.
You hear that?
Yeah, you do.
Hey, Bart, you hear that?
I hear that.
I love it.
Taiwan is so progressive.
It sure is.
You're good with gay people.
Yeah.
Try speaking in the street and chewing gum.
That's Singapore.
That's Singapore.
Yeah, that's Singapore.
That's not Singapore?
No.
Taiwan.
Singapore is not in Taiwan?
Singapore, Taiwan, it's all the same.
That's why.
It's all the same.
And that's why you're here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to talk about my stupidity.
Common sense.
Common sense.
So Bart, how'd you meet Bart?
So we had, so it was, this is a funny story.
So you know my Korean boyfriend.
Him and Bart were best friends.
How dare you, Leo?
No, I didn't break him up.
But yeah, we were part of the same friend circle.
And then, and then they, like we were kind of like, we broke up and then we just remained
friends.
And then we just fell in love.
Wow.
Are you guys still friends with that guy?
No.
Oh, good.
Leave him in the dust.
Leave him in the dust.
Fuck that guy.
Yeah, yeah.
He is, he is.
And then so how did the whole J.K.
New start?
J.K.
Okay.
So it started off with J.K.
Films.
That was Bart and Joe.
And then.
That's right.
Yeah.
They, they went on like a hiatus because they're like, we got to pursue school.
Like we got, like everyone was about the degree at that time.
Yeah.
And then they were like, you know, like the degree thing's not working.
Like I, I think they read like a Forbes article where they had like Niga Higa, who was like
number one at that time.
He was making like six, seven figures.
And they're like, what the fuck?
Like we're doing the wrong thing.
So like, all right, we're going to hit this thing full force.
And then at that time Bart and I were together and then they were like, Hey, you majored
in business, right?
I'm like, yeah, I kind of got my degree in that.
Like, can you just like help us with a couple of things here and there?
And then I came full time in that thing.
And then that kind of blew up a little bit more.
And then like we always had, like you guys know, like the Asian circle, like you go to
a restaurant, you guys are like talking, whatever.
And then you go to the parking lot.
And then there's like another circle develops.
Two hours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're talking for another two hours.
So then Bart was like, it's never happened to me.
Oh, I've never been a post Asian circle.
Renegade.
Yeah.
Really?
No, but I've never, I want to, I would know.
I want to go to an Asian circle and then disperse and then go to another one.
What do you mean?
What she's saying?
She had a bunch of Asian people in the restaurant.
She come out, there's more Asians out in the parking lot.
I mean, it's like this circle, right?
And then we're done.
Yeah.
And then we go and like, that's what I'm saying.
I want to go to the other circles.
And just break it up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I, I've never done that.
Anyway.
Can I just say I have never done it.
And then you guys got all weird about it.
It's weird.
No, I feel like you are the circle.
You create the circle.
Are there a lot of Asians in your high school?
Yeah.
Matt Ueda.
One person.
Yeah.
Are there a lot?
Matt Ueda.
That's why.
I grew up with mostly whites.
One black guy.
What did you grow up?
San Diego in Poway.
A bunch of white people.
And, um, yeah, I mean, we just had a lot of just, uh, but I, I, you know,
I hung on to the, the hesshers.
What are hesshers?
The, the, the, the, the spot smokers.
Yeah.
Oh.
That's that.
You know, those guys, you know.
And so that's why I became who I am.
You're awesome.
No.
I wanted, I wanted, I wanted.
He's not awesome.
I'm sorry.
I wanted what you have.
What do I have?
I wanted to be a part of a group.
I want, what is this?
This is an awesome group.
I'm jealous.
This is, this is Caesar.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is Caesar.
This is the Roman Empire.
And I run the fucking guy.
I'm just a sergeant.
You know what I mean?
You're not even a sergeant.
I cleaned up the dead people at the gladiator stand.
No, no, no, no.
You're the guy at the stable.
And we have these chariots and these horses.
I cleaned that.
No, you just cleaned the shit with your fucking mouth.
Okay.
Great.
With your mouth.
We don't even give a shovel.
Hey, there's a foreign category for that.
So you're popular, dude.
This one right here.
What does he do?
He's dead in it.
He's a dead person.
So, oh fuck, man.
He's my court gesture.
Oh.
Yeah.
He comes in with his fuck.
Well, he just, hypothetically, he would come in with his little tiny whiteies.
Oh.
Yeah.
He'd have whipped Marx on his body because he's been bad.
Oh.
I like how you said that.
He's been bad.
Yeah.
Right.
And then his eyes, right?
It's shiny, right underneath his eyes.
Do you know why?
Why?
Because of all the tears that dried.
Oh.
And just layers of tears have dried underneath his eyes.
Oh, man.
It creates a haze.
I'm sorry, Bryce.
And it's bloodshot red because I don't feed it.
It's it.
Bryce, now it is.
Yeah.
And he bleeds internally.
God.
Yeah.
But he's, yeah.
But I dance and he comes in and I whip him.
And he feeds you grapes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And this is my queen.
Oh, good.
There you go.
The clean horses.
But at night she goes, don't do that to Dr. Unfuckable.
Dr.
I go, I have to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
So you had Asian circles in the parking lot.
Yeah.
And that was essentially it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
And that's how that was the birth of JK news.
Yeah.
My motherfucker.
Yeah.
It was so organic.
It was just chill.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I mean, can I be honest with you?
Always.
I've always been kind of jealous of you guys.
You guys did it right.
You guys did it right.
What did we do?
There's just some sort of a cultish following that you have.
That's beyond fans.
They're like family, but it reaches so many people.
And when I try to dive into that market or that platform,
which is the internet, I couldn't get anything going.
I really could.
I tried everything.
I think that they have the formula, right?
Where they really work hard.
I mean, even observing on Friday, you guys are always on the move.
You don't move much at all, babe.
Well, that's an attack on me.
It's the truth, right?
It's an attack on Caesar.
It hits Caesar.
Yeah.
These guys work so hard.
You don't get grapes now.
I'm going to get flogged in the city.
You get flogged.
Your titties are going to be ripped off.
Oh, God.
No, I would never do that.
Thank you.
Was that too much?
Whoa.
This day and age I can't say that.
You can rip my titties off.
There's not much to rip off anymore.
Oh.
Anymore would happen.
I took my implants out.
Oh.
I had big implants in there, and my body was just not having it.
I'm big.
How big is big?
Well, actually, they were double Ds.
Oh, that's pretty big for your frame.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those are enormous.
Yeah.
Yours is normal, right?
Normal.
What do you mean?
Your tits are not implants.
Yeah, they totally are.
They are?
They boobs, yeah.
What?
No, let me ask you this.
Can I just ask anything?
Anything you want?
Science alert.
Science alert.
Science alert.
Science alert.
He raised his hand.
Were you married to Bart first?
Were you dating Bart first before you got the implants?
I did, so he loves me for me.
That's for sure.
But then why would you get implants if you already have a guy?
Because I'm narcissistic as fuck, and I'm like, yeah.
Because you.
I love myself that much.
But you also have, you know, you have a bunch of people following you that also find you
attractive.
Is that what it is?
What does that mean?
You know what I'm just saying?
There are kids probably out there going, I love JK News, but God, you know, secretly,
I think Gio is fucking hot, you know what I mean?
Is that part of it or no?
As to why I got the boobs?
No, just luring, like, a moral of that.
Luring?
She's not luring?
Am I saying it wrong?
I don't know.
You know what I mean?
There are a lot of comments.
The question is, did you feel the expectation to go, to be even hotter?
That's what I meant to say.
What you just said.
Oh, I'm stupid.
You probably said it the right way.
No, I didn't say it the right way.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get it.
No, I didn't.
Do you use to lure boys on the internet?
I actually used to stuff my bra, like, in junior high.
So I think I've always wanted big boobs.
But you had little titties?
I mean, can I say it that way?
No, because of this day and age, you don't know how to say it.
I know.
Because you get in trouble.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, I want to say other things, but I don't want to get in trouble by the fucking
The Lollywood and the law.
That's how we are.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I had really small boobs.
And it was funny.
You did.
I would always stuff my bra with, like, cotton balls.
And it was the stupidest shit ever.
I don't even know why I did that.
My boobs were always so lumpy everywhere.
Because I'm a badge man.
A badge man?
Yeah.
Caesar is a badge.
Yeah.
I've 100%.
They just have to resemble a badge and he'll take it.
Yeah.
I just love openings.
I love, I like the little, I like the wings.
The greeting wings.
Yeah, yeah.
I like the canal.
It's a canal.
I like the canal.
I don't think I know that one.
Well, the canal's inside the hole.
Yeah, that's the vagina.
I like the whole part.
The birth canal.
The vulva area.
I don't know.
You should talk to Bart about what the vagina looked like when the birth was happening.
He said it was weird.
Why do you mean that?
So he was there with you the whole time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, he better be.
What the hell?
But you allowed him to actually like, did he like record it?
No, they don't let you record.
But if he did, he would have.
I'd get a sketch artist.
You would?
I would get a sketch artist in there.
If I ever get her back now, we're going to get a good sketch artist.
Live drawing?
No, but like a courtroom.
It was nuts.
Like a courtroom one.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they're fast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have to see it because I'll jerk off to it later.
Oh my God.
No.
I wouldn't jerk off to the baby, but just the hole.
Because I would never see it.
No, you're talking big right now.
But maybe when you see it, maybe when you see it, you're going to be like, oh, that's
not a vagina anymore.
That's like.
I would never allow him.
I would never allow him to see the actual birthing of the child.
He would have to stand above me.
Why?
Because Bart seems like he is a rational human being.
Oh, yeah.
He's very rational.
Taiwanese.
I don't think that's Taiwanese.
He just doesn't have.
He has a couple like, you know, wild screws floating around in his head.
And I, I don't think that.
Strange.
He would hold it over my head for like every like family occasion.
He'd be like, oh my God, her vagina would be described about.
Here's the sketch.
He would show the sketch to everyone.
You guys want to see the abyss?
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah.
I'll stand over your shoulder.
Thank you.
Yeah.
With a football helmet and just.
They don't like shoot out at you or anything.
Did it hurt?
I was drugged up.
So I know like right now the era is like, oh, it's all natural and all that.
And I'm like, cool.
Yeah.
Like you guys are warriors.
Like, do you boo, whatever thing is, but I'm just like, no, I was, yeah, I was drugged
up like crazy.
I didn't feel anything.
It was dope.
Wow.
It was awesome.
I'm going to get drugged up for sure.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it.
And then when the baby came out.
He didn't look weird, which was awesome because newborns look their heads.
Well, yeah, that he had.
They plopped it on your chest.
Plopped.
Yeah.
They plopped him on your chest.
Because it's bonding.
We need to bond.
Right.
And then what did it do?
Did it look at your eyes and go, God, whatever?
No, it didn't start talking just yet or anything.
But did it look at you?
Yeah, he did.
Wow.
And did you cry?
Uh, I don't know.
This is the, this is the, I don't know if this is messed up or not, but, uh, he looked
very Asian.
Good.
Which is awesome.
That's great.
You weren't cheating.
But what does that mean?
Well, then I just, I felt like, okay, so this is my boy.
I love him.
Like, I've never felt this type of love, but because he didn't resemble me, I was just
like, I love you so much.
But like, I, but like, I just, there was just no connection.
I read something along my way.
It was the eyes.
It was the eyes.
I read something along my time ago.
I love you so much.
I read something that said like, initially when the baby's first born, it has a higher,
it's going to look like the dad because I guess biologically the dad has to know that
that's his child or something to that effect.
But initially it always comes out looking like the dad most.
I don't know how true that is, but I did read that somewhere.
Guys are so primitive, man.
Wow.
Yeah, that's true.
Like if my baby looked like Denzel, I'd be like, that's not my, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But what if it looks like Denzel and then like two weeks later it looks like a yellow
face.
So it transforms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh fuck, I got mad for no reason.
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
My bad.
My family for no reason.
Yeah.
But so you, because we've never had anyone on this podcast that went through this.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Ask away.
Yeah.
So this is very.
Were you scared when you first realized you were pregnant?
No, because I wanted, I wanted to be pregnant.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Because I'm 34.
So I'm like, I wanted it to happen.
How old are you?
I'm 33.
Right.
We have a year.
You're the example, Gio.
Thank you.
We have a year.
Yeah.
You got plenty of time.
Yeah.
It's science.
It's color.
Like you could pick the gender.
Yeah.
You can pick.
How do you do that?
And in vitro, because they have, they collect a couple of like viable embryos and then they
look to see which ones are probably going to take the best and then you get to choose
between a boy and a girl.
So like, for instance, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, the first they chose a girl and
then the second one, they chose a boy.
Oh my God.
Can you give it abilities?
Like superpower?
No, no, but like, I want, I want autism, but the rain mankind.
Like talented.
Like a talented where you can count things real quick, you know what I mean?
Composed music.
Yeah.
But you're already halfway there.
You're Asian, man.
Like aren't Asians just naturally born doing math?
Yeah.
But I can't count cards.
That's what I have.
You want to cheat in Vegas?
Yeah.
Cheating Vegas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's rain man.
That's a skill.
You know, there's even something that people, that's, people are doing now where women
who aren't able to have their, to carry their own, usually get a surrogate, right?
But now they're doing uterus implants and they've done this in Sweden, I think eight
times successfully, will, where they will, the, the mom will take an immunosuppressive
drug and it's kind of like a kidney or a liver transplant.
And the mom will take on someone else's uterus because she wants to conceive and carry her
own child to term.
Oh, cool.
But it's not her uterus.
It's from somebody like a donor.
Who cares?
Like you lose it anyway.
Yeah.
That's dope.
That's crazy, right?
That's really cool.
So you can choose eyes, you can choose gender, you can choose, how about physical things?
You really just want a superhero baby.
We can just go to China and check if he's in now.
No, like, you know, can you choose a bigger, like my own mom and son to have a bigger dick.
I think our son will have an okay dick because my dad had a huge dick.
How do you know your dad had a huge dick?
She's heard some interesting stories about you already, so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Towards, this is sad, but towards the end of his life, I had to care for him.
That's not, that's not.
He's an old, old dude to have big dicks.
He was like a shower.
He was definitely a shower because he had less than dick was big.
Science alert.
Science alert.
The skin drags off the body.
Did you guys know this?
And it goes all over the dick.
Was he circumcised or uncircumcised?
He was circumcised.
Oh, then your argument goes out the window, dude.
Okay.
And I risked my case.
I risked my case.
No science alert.
No science.
Fossil arm.
Fossil arm.
And all my uncles had big dicks too.
How'd you know that?
I think that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me ask you this.
You have not seen your own dad's dick.
Guys, wait.
I've never seen my dad's dick.
Really?
Never.
Oh no.
Point is this.
Did you fuck your uncles?
No.
Did you suck your uncle's dick?
I never.
Were you guys like going to spas and stuff?
No, okay.
So like one time in the Philippines, we went to the province because my family owns land
in the mountains and there was a Sapa, there like a lake.
A Sapa.
And there were everyone showers in the province.
And so all my cousins, I know all of their dicks.
I know what they look like.
And I know that my family is well and now.
So it's like a lineup of dicks.
No faces.
You're like uncle brother.
Right.
That's awesome.
And also my best friend had sex with my cousin and she said he had one of the biggest
dicks ever.
Wow.
Let me ask you this.
Yeah.
There was a photo of my dick.
Sorry George.
My dick.
Gilbert's dick.
Bryce.
My brother's dick.
I know.
I know your brother's dick too.
You know so many dicks.
Do you know Bart's dick?
Do you know Bart's dick too?
No.
He doesn't know Bart's dick.
He doesn't know Bart's dick.
I don't know Bart's dick.
Yeah.
I'll show you a picture later.
Really?
You have a photo of your dick?
No.
I bet you it's thick.
Is it thick?
It's wide.
Is it what?
No.
It's actually like a very normal dick.
Oh.
Is it not buff at all then, huh?
A buff dick?
What's a buff dick?
Oh, it's veiny.
We're all veiny.
Hold on sweetie.
I know.
We should do this.
We should do this and I will tell you which one it is and you and I will be like, who's
it's who.
I wouldn't know but I just wanted to.
You'll know what mine is because I'm.
No.
Well, you don't.
I have a extra turtleneck on mine.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's on.
Wait, what?
Yeah, he's on circumcised.
Oh, you're circumcised.
Yeah, yeah.
That's pretty obvious.
Oh, well yeah, then that one.
Let me ask you something.
Does stuff get caught in there?
No.
Because I learned it once.
You have to clean it.
But I didn't know about that until I was like a freshman in high school.
I probably got a physical for like school or something.
The doctor's like, okay, pull back to check.
I'm like, oh, I can't do that.
It hurt.
What?
He's like, you're supposed to be doing this since like middle school.
Yeah.
So I finally did it and called this Schmagma.
It was a bunch of Schmagma.
Yeah.
Oh.
You should have kept that.
Hard white things came out.
Ew, gross.
And I ate it.
It was fat.
You ate it really well.
Oh, come on.
You know what that's called?
I don't know.
It's called tic-tic.
I had tic-tic.
Tic-tic is the word in Filipino of Schmagma.
That's cute.
Tic-tic.
Oh, gross.
I'm sorry, guys, for all that.
It was crusty.
Like it fell off in place.
No, it wasn't.
It was moist.
Oh, okay.
It was like cheesecake bites.
Cream, cream.
You know, like you go to Yogurtland or Pink Baron, the cheesecake bites?
Classic.
It was like that.
Oh, the cheesecake.
Bites.
Oh, my God.
I ate our girl had discharge and it dried.
You ate discharge.
It was crunchy.
It was crunchy.
It was like, what do you call, brittle?
Like a toffee brittle.
Yeah, like toffee brittle.
And you kept going?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, just like that.
Yeah.
Disgusting.
Yeah.
You should switch gears.
Wait, where were we with her childbirth?
Yeah, childbirth.
Just go back to childbirth.
It's going to end up at 10 anyway.
Did you pull your baby out?
I know some people have done that.
No, I was laying down.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't, I, why would they pull their, like what they said?
I saw the Kardashians.
The Kardashians pulled her own child out and held it up.
No tear.
That was a third kid though.
I feel like after, during the third, you're like yelling.
Yeah, you're loose.
Yeah.
Let me just hug a tree and like push it out.
You know?
Yeah.
I don't know if I'm there.
Yeah.
Like I've had eight kids, the last two, they just queef it out.
They see it.
Yeah.
There it is.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's, that happens to my ideas all the time.
So does that mean since you are Mexican, more children are coming?
Just one more.
Yeah.
You want one more?
Yeah, yeah.
You guys trying now?
No, no.
I'm letting it rest.
Let it rest.
Yeah.
So you, so you, okay, what happens?
So you take the baby, you bring it home that day or what?
No, no, no.
You give it an Apgar score.
Yep.
What was the baby's Apgar score?
What is it?
What's the highest?
What's the definition of that?
I don't even know what that is.
Hey, but you don't score.
You know the score?
If they didn't have any complications.
Just say you don't know the fucking score, Gio.
I'm trying to sound smart.
Do you not know the score?
It's a 34 points.
It's the highest one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fine.
Because if it's not, then it takes it to the NICU.
Oh yeah, he didn't go to the NICU.
Yeah, he's fine.
It's perfect.
And so then you, it stays.
Then you do skin to skin and then dad has to do skin to skin.
What skin to skin?
You have to put the baby on your bare chest for bonding.
Yep.
You don't want that?
No, no skin to skin.
We don't even do skin to skin.
No skin to skin.
No skin to skin.
No, we don't do skin to skin.
She has to have sex with clothes on.
With clothes and shoes.
Oh shoes.
In case you have to be somewhere.
Brand new shoes.
Brand new shoes.
Because I have to like run away mid.
Because I want to like tear them up.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Weather them.
Weather them.
Does it happen on the bed at least?
Motorcycle helmet.
I don't know.
We used to do it in kitchens and stuff.
Horse feeder.
Oh gosh.
That's exciting.
So you bring the baby home a couple of days later.
Yep.
That's it.
You can't take it back.
That's it.
You're not stressed out at all?
No.
What?
The stress.
Why?
Because of the responsibility.
No, I wanted it.
I already did a bunch of shit.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Yeah.
Like if I didn't travel and like do what I wanted, I'd be like fuck I hate my life.
I hate this child.
But no, I'm making a good place.
You're happy and you bring the home and it probably brightens the house.
Yeah, it's really dope.
There's a bunch of baby shit everywhere.
Like our house was really nice before, like nicely decorated and stuff.
And now there's like baby stuff all over them.
That's so cute.
Wow.
Yeah, it's really cool.
And then they bought their first Christmas tree.
Yeah.
Well, she's not her.
It's Bart's first Christmas tree.
Yeah, my parents love me a lot.
It's great.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
No, not me.
I mean, I've always had a Christmas tree.
No, I mean, it was the same for you.
Remember how we bought your first Christmas tree like two years ago?
And you were like upset that I took you to a parking lot with trees?
Yeah, because I live in the inside.
What do you mean?
Inside.
I don't want a tree inside.
I know, but it's just for the festive.
You know, we never had a tree growing up.
Why?
What did you have?
I go, dad, can we get a tree?
He goes, look outside.
I go, okay.
He goes, what do you see?
I got a bunch of trees.
It goes, Merry Christmas.
Oh, I want to do that tomorrow.
You got 10,000 tree out there.
That's great, man.
I go, thanks, dad.
That's not the point, but okay.
But like that's the kind of house I grew up in.
No tree.
Bart too.
We did one tree, but it stayed in the house for three years.
Why?
It was just branches.
My mom would hand clothes on it and stuff.
To dry.
What?
She's resourceful.
Yeah, yeah.
Like no one took, no one got rid of it.
And so that after three years of that fucker being in there in the middle of the living
room, we just said, we're not going to get another tree again.
My brother would cry about it too.
Is your brother sensitive about Christmas?
God, he's such a bitch about it.
Daddy, can we get a stalkings?
When we got off the plane from Vancouver, TMZ was there.
Oh yeah.
And they were like, hey, and they got right in my face.
Like, what do you think?
And I go, he's a great comic.
Oh God.
You think the question was, do you think that his career is over?
And you said, no, unlikely or something like that.
And then I try to play it so fucking like on the book.
Like I didn't want to piss Louis off neutral.
Yeah, but I don't know how it came across, but no, but you gave your honest opinion.
Yeah, I did.
Which is, you know, I think that you think what he did was wrong, but I don't think you
think his career is over, which is your honest opinion.
Yeah.
But also, I don't like how he cornered you like that.
No, that's what they always do.
They do that, right?
Ugh.
It was just one guy and he cornered you.
Yeah.
TMZ.
You wanted to just fight him.
When I was on a show, I don't, because he's so big.
He was a big white man.
Oh, that's what.
Yeah, yeah.
I can't fight nobody.
But when I was on my TV, it would happen more often.
Yeah.
And I would say things that were like crazy.
Yeah.
And I feel like you can't do that anymore.
Yeah, you can't.
I'll suck your dick, bro.
You can't say shit like that.
You can still offer.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But you can't be like, you know.
May I suck your dick?
Yeah.
Excuse me, sir.
Good sir.
Hello.
Hello.
I suck your dick.
Lovely day.
Why is he British?
Can I suck your dick?
Yeah.
All right.
Good boy.
Good boy.
That's good.
What the fuck was that?
Yeah, that was weird.
Wow.
Yeah, you can't do shit like that anymore.
I'm not gonna have a baby.
I think you influenced us in a positive way.
You guys are gonna have a baby.
No.
Gio and Bobby.
Sorry, Barney.
I'm not gonna have a baby.
And sentence structure is a Gio.
We're gonna have a baby.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I got it.
It was you too.
She's a fucking bright one, this one.
Yeah.
She is.
You're a bright one.
But you guys also helped us out.
Me allowed a lot.
I want to thank you for that.
We did?
Yeah.
You know when we were in San Francisco, there was like a bunch of teenagers that came
up to him and they all wanted pictures.
Because of it.
And only because of JK News.
They know him from nowhere else.
There are people out there that only know me from JK News, which is great.
From where?
JK News.
Oh.
People go, oh, it's so, you know, like TSC.
I saw you on the fucking JFK News.
Can I get a photo with you?
Did you just call it JFK?
JFK News.
Yeah, just freaking kids.
It's all good.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
No, you're awesome.
Something.
Can I, this has nothing to do with you, but can I tell you, I'm gonna tell you something
that happened to me the other day that I wasn't gonna talk about.
No, let's do it.
But it's a little thing that happened.
I haven't told anybody except for Kalyla.
Oh, snap.
All right, we're gonna hear it guys.
No, all the secrets.
So I worked on NCIS Los Angeles again last week.
Awesome.
Thank you.
And I play a CIA agent.
Yes.
And we're allowed to talk about this?
Yeah, they said I can do anything.
CIA agent.
So the last day I was there, I was driving to, because we had to drive into the fucking
mountains like an hour and a half away because they had to create the Vietnam jungle in some
fucking reservoir camping site.
So I decided to stop by Bagel Brothers and there was an Asian guy there.
I go, hey, they had one last jalapeno bagel.
God, I need that.
I was so hungry.
But he put on like 16 layers of cream cheese in the middle.
He's lactose intolerant.
And I'm lactose intolerant.
So you know how the bagel's hot?
It was dripping.
You know what I mean?
The cream cheese.
It melts basically.
And I was eating it like an animal because I was like late, you know?
And so I go to my dressing room and there's army fatigues.
But there's also next to a wetsuit.
And it says on note, put the wetsuit underneath the army fatigue.
Don't worry, no one's going to ever see the wetsuit.
I'm not going to fucking wear a wetsuit underneath this fucking army fatigue.
It's so wild in your mind.
That's to put the fucking army fatigues on.
No wetsuit.
Fuck the wetsuit.
Fuck the wetsuit.
Fuck the wetsuit.
So and then I put the guns in and I had a machine gun.
That's cool.
And then as I'm walking to the set, which is like a half a mile away into the fucking
woods, I hear my stomach go like that, bubbleguts, fucking bagel.
Yeah, but I'm like, I'm fine.
So now it's me, a little Coojay, Chris O'Donnell, Eric, Danny of the whole cast, and we're
in the jungle.
And all of a sudden, you know, you're walking out of the jungle with your machine gun.
And then they go action and the rain hit my body.
It was a rain scene.
The rain was so fucking cold.
I went right into hypothermic shock.
Are you serious?
And I just literally just started shaking like that.
And also in my head, I'm like, there's no way I can do this.
I cannot do this.
Do you have lines during all this?
No.
OK.
Right.
It's good.
So I'm shaking like this.
And then, you know what I mean?
The ADC, whether they come up and they go, are you all right?
I go, I can't do this.
They're like, well, you're wearing your wetsuit, right?
Oh.
That's what it's supposed to do.
No.
And everyone, even Alakuzhi, they all turn around and go, what are you, a fucking idiot?
It was in your dressing room, right?
I go, yeah?
I didn't think there was going to be a rain.
All right.
I do not know what's happened.
As I'm talking, right?
I hear this.
Oh, no.
And a little fart came out.
Was it a shard or a fart?
Strictly shard.
No fart, I mean.
OK.
Strictly shard.
I'm sorry.
Rewind.
Rewind.
So you go, all right.
Go again.
Go back to your marks.
Action.
No.
I hope they don't use it because no, I'm like, you know, so scared.
Oh, it really hits my body, right?
Yeah.
I start turning blue.
In fact, to the point where James, you know the dad from The Dexter, he's in a two and
he comes up to me and goes, hey, man, you can't do this, you're going to go into hypothermic
shock.
Because even him, he's an old man because I'm fucking going into it and I have two layers
of wetsuit on.
And I go, I know, but I have to take a shit.
He goes, they cut.
He goes, he even needs to take it, go to the bathroom.
Set it for you.
And they're like, we're losing light.
Oh, my God.
And I'm shaking and like I'm farting and I'm like, it was the worst human experience in
my life.
Action again.
Right?
You didn't get to do the bathroom.
It now gets to the point where I'm like, all right, if you don't let me guys go to the
bathroom, I'm going to shit right here and there right here.
People laugh.
No, because now they I told them it's a shit.
Bathroom is one thing.
You can be pee.
Yeah, shit.
I have to take diarrhea now.
Yeah.
Right.
And they're like, we're losing light.
Can you hold it?
They said, no, I go, well, I'm leaving.
I ran through the forest and with this American Indian guy who was my wardrobe guy and he's
like, follow me this way.
And I normally wouldn't, but he's American Indian.
He knows the fucking.
He knows the woods.
He knows the woods.
He knows the trails.
He knows the way.
He knows.
So I trusted him.
Right.
So he shift.
We shift.
And we're running.
You know what I mean?
Another trail.
I go, go ahead, Cherokee.
It's like a real war.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
You see this white, like built, like a little building, like a, and that's where the bathroom
is.
You could just go up the stairs and go to the bathroom.
Right.
As I hit a stair, I hear this pop up like that.
Two shits.
Just pop out of my butthole.
Pop up hard, like hard, hard.
And now it's over.
Now I'm a failure because now I have to fucking wipe the shit off my, you know, it's a whole
thing.
So now they're waiting for me.
I know you hate that feeling.
Right.
So I look in my underwear and there's two chunks of shit.
I take toilet paper, wiping it, you know, it's all over my hands.
What?
You don't just throw the underwear away.
Yeah.
Fuck the underwear.
It's my only layer of, my dick would freeze off.
He would have hypothermia dick.
I'd have hypothermia dick.
I like how his underwear are going to like protect me.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
And then I shit and it was like, dude, luckily the first two pups were a little drier because
the second act, it was like a standing ovation.
It was like, no, it was like, you know what I mean, like into the fucking, it would have
been a disaster.
Oh man.
So then I do it quickly.
I clench the fucking valve with my cheek, with my strong ass cheeks, with the muscle,
the muscle.
Yeah.
I put my clothes back on.
I still have shit all over my ass.
Ass part, the cheeks.
Right.
Why didn't you wipe that?
He's in there.
I just don't have time.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't have time.
Well, just generally he doesn't do it.
I don't do it normally anyway.
So if you were to get up, we smell your chair right now.
It's just all bad.
Shit.
Maybe.
He has crust in his hamstrings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's rude.
That's an attack.
That's an attack.
On the seizure.
He has crusty hamstrings.
So as I, and then I had to now walk back, right, with shit on my fucking ass cheeks, and the
clothing is just wet into my body, and I'm shaking, and I go back on the set, and now
I guess somebody told somebody that I shit my pants, because now everyone's laughing.
But you don't care.
Do you care?
Well, no, because if they, I'd rather have them laugh than be angry.
Oh, yeah.
Smart man.
Right.
So I, you know, I finish it, and I'm like, it's over.
I mean, this is a disaster, but nothing happened.
Oh, nice.
Oh, well.
But still, that whole experience, it was a nightmare.
It was the biggest nightmare I've ever had on a set.
Really?
To shit your pants on, you're gas-starring on a show?
Yeah.
He's insane.
Kistar, Buffy Lee.
Shit's his pants.
I'm Z, you know, and then, but then a showrunner came out to me, and he was like, really nice.
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's how memories are made, man.
When's the last time you shit your pants?
I shit my pants the last time.
Oh, man.
I don't know.
Maybe like 10 years ago?
Yeah.
I was an adult then.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not, I'm not going to try to hide that.
It was, it was horrible.
I was running late for work.
It was before we did the whole YouTube thing.
Yeah.
I had a really nice business suit on.
What was it for?
I was a baker.
Oh, yeah.
It was really boring.
Yes.
I had a really nice suit on and I was running late.
I'm like, I can, I can make it.
Like I have a really tight asshole.
Like nothing's going to happen.
Mine's too.
Very tight.
Well, that's what I thought until they got tested.
And then it was just like a little bit and then it just all came out.
Oh my God.
On your pants suit.
Yeah.
Like I had to drive.
Like my butt was not.
Oh no.
I was like crazy.
What'd you do then?
Yeah.
I had to just drive back home.
That's it.
Oh, you don't commit.
You're not Asian.
Asians would have gone right to work.
Yeah.
Keep the crusty hands.
Yeah.
I'm very definitely Mexican.
I'm definitely Mexican.
Clean that shit.
What was it like when you told your parents like, hey, I'm going to quit banking and I'm
going to go into this unknown land of.
That's a great question.
I really thought you were going to ask me if like, what did it feel like when I took
a shit?
I'm sure it felt great.
She was like, I have that answer ready.
Yes.
Don't even, don't even get to know.
So it was nuts because it was right when like the economy like tanked.
So everyone was losing their jobs and stuff.
And then here I am with a really nice secure job living on my own.
I had like really good money and stuff.
I'm like, yeah, I'm not going to do anymore.
And they're like, you're fucking idiot.
What the fuck are you doing?
Yeah.
But I don't know.
They're really cool.
Like they're just like, that's your life.
Like you can't come back home.
Like do what you got to do.
Were you already living on your own?
Yeah.
I was already on my own.
So they really can't say much.
How do they feel now?
They think it's cool.
Yeah.
Like mom like sees just, you know, the success that we've had and she's like, cool.
You're not asking me for money.
Like, yeah.
But at what point did that happen for her where she was able to see that?
Okay.
Like she's in the right direction.
I don't know.
We don't really talk.
Like we're not really close like that where we talk.
Like we have like braiding hair sessions and we're like bonding.
It's more.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why don't you have that?
I don't know.
It's just, it's not in our cold.
I mean, in your family.
Yeah.
Because Nick Youssef has never said, I love you to his parents, but he loves them.
Yeah.
To death.
Yeah.
I feel like Jessica either.
Like her Korean parents, they don't ever exchange.
I love yous like that.
I think maybe her mom now.
Yeah.
But it's just wasn't a norm.
Yeah.
Mine either.
Really?
Yeah.
You've never said, I love you to your mom.
Whoa.
Whoa.
No, I did.
That's my energy.
I taught them.
That's my fucking energy.
What I'm doing.
Yeah.
It's the season.
Yeah.
It's the season part.
It's serious.
Yeah.
No, I did.
Whoa, George.
Whoa.
Whoa, George.
He like went in this corner like shit.
Yeah.
She was really awkward hugging her.
Like she would just like it really like tense.
What age is this?
Like this is a hug.
My 20s.
Wow.
What about your dad?
Same thing.
Like me and my dad.
This is weird.
We didn't talk for like seven years and we like lived under the same roof.
What?
I know it was so weird.
Why are you guys?
We're kind of Mexican family.
I know.
You guys are.
Is that why?
Jerry Springer, huh?
Yes.
I guess.
So they're standards.
Like, I mean, I was a good kid.
Yeah.
But like I didn't do things the way they wanted me to do it.
Yeah.
But is that considered dysfunction?
Because I mean, you turned out you didn't really have like a lot of angst or like animosity
towards them.
Um, no, I didn't because I think when I was going up, dude, I had like a really interesting
life.
Like they were just, I had a curfew, a 10 o'clock curfew when I was like 21.
Oh, whoa.
Yeah.
That was nice.
Yeah.
So, I mean, a lot of it, like a lot of the things that I wanted to do, like they were
just like, no, like, you know, a young respectable woman doesn't do that.
Right.
Right.
Traditional.
Super traditional.
Yeah.
Like you can't leave this house unless you're married and I'm like, why?
Why?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I can, I can do it on my own.
Wow.
So all of these little things, uh, I think at that time I'd like, I wanted to like kill
myself.
I was like doing crazy drugs, but, um, yeah, I got over that real quick.
But were your parents at your, when you were delivering, were they there?
Uh, no, they weren't.
I just wanted Bart in there.
I didn't know.
They weren't in the hospital.
They weren't even in the building.
Uh, they, no, they weren't.
Cause it was like at four in the morning.
Like you, you can't really time it.
You can't be like, Hey, at like seven o'clock.
I'm going to pop this shit out.
Seven o'clock.
You better do yours at nine.
Nine in the morning.
I won't be there.
I will not.
You'll make sure he gets the job in a different state.
Yeah.
I'll get, I'll hire somebody.
I'll give you money.
I'll give you a hundred bucks.
Gilbert.
That actually might be better for me.
Cause you get frazzled and freaked out and it might, your energy might transfer over
onto me.
I don't know if I'm going to be a good dad.
I should buy pants on set because of this fucking guy.
I've been trying to test my heart.
Why are you here?
We're bad with him.
No.
So this is their dog right here.
We got to introduce everybody.
So this guy, um, that guy, the East Valley, um, shelter was overflowing with, um, um,
lost dogs because of the fires.
So they needed to clear out the shelters.
So we took this guy on as a, well, no, no, just to kind of back up a little bit.
We didn't take him permanently.
This is a, I know.
Can I just back up a little bit?
Can I just back up a little bit?
Please?
Yes.
And I'm, I really want to talk about this in a grownup way because I love you so much.
Yep.
And so I don't want to start any kind of thing or anything like that.
Okay.
So let's just be technical about it and let's, let's just talk about it in an adult kind
of a way.
Okay.
She was telling me that there was a fire.
You knew about this.
You knew about the fires.
Kind of.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's a fire.
And I feel bad for it.
Yeah.
Anyone lost their homes?
Look, I'm looking in the camera.
Sorry.
Oh my God.
He felt the smoke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just felt it.
Okay.
And then Kalilah was like, you know, a lot of these animals are coming into these like
pounds.
Is that what it is?
Shelters.
Shelters.
We need to save them because they're going to kill, you know, so she sends me a photo
of a one year old white puppy looking one that was so cute.
Remember that one?
Uh-huh.
And like, yeah, get it.
Just get it.
Right?
Yeah.
Are you getting angry?
No, no, no.
I'm trying to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't get angry.
So, you know, so I'm like, oh, we're going to get like, you know, I mean a cute little
guy.
Right.
Yeah.
And then she sent me photos of also kittens.
Okay.
I don't want kittens.
We have three.
You have a lot.
Yeah.
So then I come home and we got fucking Gandalf here.
Oh, he's so cute, you know, and Gandalf can't see.
Oh, he's blind.
Yeah.
No, we don't know.
You called in Henry Fonda the other day.
I don't know why you switched over to Gandalf.
Henry Fonda.
But you know what?
Henry Fonda is so sweet.
Anyone listening?
He's.
I want to listen to Henry Fonda is so sweet and he's just a good man.
The point of fostering is to be indiscriminate about what dogs you pull out and more than
likely you got to pull out the dogs that are less likely to get adopted at the shelter.
So this guy who's a little bit of a senior dog, he doesn't have his front teeth.
Yeah.
All he does is basically chill and he's awesome cuddles.
Yeah.
And he's a sweetheart.
And so that but that was, you know, I'm just saying though, so but now I love.
So you think you're going to be a bad dad because you eat because you don't, if I want
to.
Yeah, I don't want to.
Also, if I adopt a kid, I'm not going to get like an old man.
What do you mean?
You know, I'm going to get a baby.
What if it's a Benjamin Button disease?
Oh, yeah.
That's highly possible.
Now we're in a predicament.
What was that?
I don't know what to do with the baby.
Yeah.
We're in a predicament.
The Benjamin Button baby.
Yeah.
But that'd be cool having a Benjamin Button because you'll get an old one.
And that's not cool.
It's an old.
No, as I get, if it's a daughter, as I get, you know, I mean, I have just listen, it's
an old woman, and then as I get older, it turns younger, younger, and then right when
it hits 18.
Yeah.
Wait.
No, your own child.
It's not blood related.
Yeah, it is.
That's the whole point.
Put that fist down.
Put that fist down right now.
I was going to pound me.
Put that fist down.
Yeah.
Put that fist down.
Come on, Benjamin Button.
Oh, my God.
No kidding.
Super Woody Allen, huh?
Yeah.
I'd Woody Allen.
That was a Woody Allen situation.
Last night.
I don't know if I should talk about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to hear it.
I don't know.
What?
I don't know what you're about to say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to say it.
I'm just going to say it.
Okay.
So I was at the Christmas party at the Comedy Store Christmas party and this is there.
Yeah.
You know, I give him a hug.
We talk.
And then my friend Willie's girlfriend is William Forsyth's daughter, right?
And I can see.
Let everyone know who William Forsyth is.
William Forsyth is one of my favorite actors.
He was in Raising in Arizona, a thousand movies.
He was in The Rock.
She's a thousand movies.
You'll know him if you Google him.
And William Forsyth's daughter is a really talented young actress named Rebecca and she's
also dating Willie Hunter as a standup.
Willie's cute.
But I felt like what she was going to hit on her.
So I got right.
But then she survived and she goes.
She immediately made it, you know, we just basically, that's William Forsyth's daughter.
And then he was like, oh, I love when we text each other, but like we had to save because
it could have been uncomfortable.
Save who?
Who are you trying to save?
The girl?
Yeah, the girl.
I feel like that happens to a lot.
It happens to us, to women all the time where we're very good at maneuvering out of situations
like that.
She did it.
She survived it.
But it was like, I never seen that kind of intelligent woman.
There's some girls out there that they're just like, he just wants to be a friend.
What's wrong with you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, are you serious?
But it made me realize what you guys have to go through.
Yeah.
I think that I've become very like diplomatic in that sense where, and I hate that I'm diplomatic
because I shouldn't be afraid to hurt a man's ego.
If no is no, then I should just say, hey, I'm not interested.
But I feel like saying it like in a certain way where I'm like, hey, thank you so much.
I'm really flattered.
I got to go.
And I kind of like, as Jojo would say, like octopus your way out, you know what I mean?
The wiggly Asian man.
That's good.
Yeah.
But I wish that I could just say, hey, dude, I'm not interested by, but it never works
out like that.
You saw when you picked me up at that club.
I pick her up at the club, right?
And some guy goes, fuck you, bitch.
He's putting your finger right in my face.
That's the fucking first thing I hear.
And he chased me to the car, to our window.
Because he hit on her and it's so fucking funny because he knows I'm picking her up.
Yeah.
And I was like, that's my boyfriend in the car.
That's your Uber driver.
He doesn't even believe that I'm having, that's my girlfriend.
Yeah, so, and I said, I'm not interested, I got to go and he chased me to the car and
he was fucking like, fuck you, bitch.
And you know what I did?
Yeah.
I go, hi.
Yeah.
I got to do it.
I drop off your food.
Yeah.
I'm delivery.
That sucks.
Where to, ma'am?
Where to?
Yeah.
What do you want to go?
LAX?
Okay.
No problem.
Yeah, no problem.
$45 minimum charge.
Are you good at deflecting?
I think I just have a, so growing up in the, I grew up in East L.A. I went to school in
the 66, but my house is located in East L.A. and like in that area, at least amongst a
lot of Latinos, like they have like this cat calling thing and it's fucking annoying.
Like you feel like a piece of meat.
So I think at a very young age, I just kind of like got a really tough skin or I'm just
like, fuck you dude.
And like, I think because of that, I've developed like resting bitch face.
So I'm always like, like pissed at something.
All right.
So I don't look very approachable.
Yeah, but do guys, I mean, because you're, do you guys hit on you all the, all the time
or still probably?
Yeah.
Um, I don't think I'm in an area now where I'm never going out anymore.
So I don't really get hit on anymore.
She gets hit on, hit on all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But when I've seen it, she peep, you can see, that's even, damn, you're really hot
then.
No, I think it's because there's a really big height discrepancy between him, him and
I. So they always just assume he's my Uber driver or I'm her like, I'm or she's an actress
and I'm her assistant.
Gay assistant.
Yeah.
Like they come up to me, can you get an email, I have a movie that I'm, you know what I mean?
There's one time I think he was at a coffee bean where the guy gave the camera to Bobby
and he was like, Hey dude, can you take a picture?
And Bobby thought that the guy was asking him for a selfie.
And so he hands the camera over to Bobby, Bobby flips the camera like, okay, like about
to take looking for the guy.
And then the guy stands next to me like, okay, we're ready.
Okay.
Can you take the picture?
Yeah.
And he was like, yeah, I guess.
And then he takes it.
Yeah.
You know what?
I mean, we've talked about it before, but you know, I'm over it.
I know I'm a troll.
You're not a troll.
You're not, man.
Oh my God.
You know what girls love?
What?
They love confidence.
And trolls.
Look at that.
I don't have confidence.
Look at me.
Babe.
Babe, listen.
I'm your Uber driver.
Uber driver?
What?
Korean gargoyles are all the rage.
They are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm very attracted to gargoyles.
I'm a fucking gargoyle.
No, you're not.
You're a gnome.
Gnomes are cute.
I'm a gnom.
They are cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They are cute.
But have you ever, you put the Asian dudes you date are buff.
Athletic.
Yeah.
I like an athletic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't done it.
I'm not dizzy workout every day, Bart.
Four times a day.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh, shit.
Look at the fuck.
Oh, that's an addiction if you do four times a day.
Yeah, we have a problem.
We have a problem.
No.
Four times a week.
Yeah.
Because he's just so fit, you know?
He is.
Yeah.
But he's such a nice guy.
He's really dope.
Yeah.
He's very humble.
Don't tell him I said this stuff.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I just have to give him a hard time.
Yeah.
How did you know when he was the one though?
Like pretty early?
Yeah.
Like right away.
Like I didn't like him.
You're fucking annoying.
And then we got snowed in.
It was just us two.
We got snowed in.
And then we just got to talking.
Wait, what do you mean snowed in?
What does that mean?
So we went to Big Bear to go snowboarding.
Oh, you got snowed literally snowed in.
Literally snowed in.
I thought that was like an urban street talk.
Like East LA.
Y'all man, we were snowed in.
What is the definition?
Yeah.
The definition is like we couldn't leave our car, bro.
Why, flat tire?
Yeah, man.
But you know, we were snowed in.
Snowed in.
Because we're in the hood and you don't want to get out.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
That's what I thought it was.
But they were literally snowed in.
Like raise the roof.
I'm literally raising the roof with my hand.
Okay.
Urban Bobby everybody.
There's an earthquake and the roof is collapsing.
I'm raising it with my hand.
Yeah.
So that's what literally that thing is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you got snowed in.
You snowed in.
Yeah, we got snowed in.
Literally, yeah.
And then you got to talking.
Yeah.
And then I just thought it was really cool and I couldn't stop thinking of my best friend.
I'm like, man, this is weird.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about Bart.
Yeah.
Gross.
Yeah.
Do you find is Joe attractive?
Uh,
He's a good looking guy.
Yeah.
I think.
No, but do you find him attractive?
Like I want to like fuck.
No, I would never not say that.
I would do these.
He's an attractive guy.
I think he can get ladies.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
He's got great hair.
He's got amazing hair.
He does.
I just think he's so cute.
What?
Oh, because he reminds you of yourself.
Yeah.
Joe's like a like.
Is that weird?
No.
It's just funny.
He's the only one that hasn't been on here.
And he was like probably the first Tiger Belly fan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's going to be really sad.
He was actually very upset when we said we were having Joe.
No, he's next.
He hates me, dude.
Really?
Because even Stevie was like the same thing.
He's like, we got to get you on.
And then and then Joe's like, what the fuck?
I want to do it.
Yeah.
The ultimate.
Yeah.
Tiger Belly.
No, I want Joe bad.
And he's the next one.
Yeah.
He's awesome.
But you can't.
Here's the thing.
You guys are, are you guys the leaders of the group?
Bart and Joe are the leaders.
I just don't know.
Fuck off, then.
We did the order.
But there's no way.
Okay.
Okay.
Let me just say this though.
It's like, if I'm going to have Kennedy on, I'm going to have Jackie O on.
Have both.
Oh, I see.
Oh, that's what it was.
And then I'll bring in Lyndon Johnson.
Yeah.
Smart move.
Right.
Right.
Is that a clever way of doing it?
Smart move.
I'm so fucking smart.
Prince Harry, Meghan Markle.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You got to have it.
Yeah.
I'd rather have Meghan Markle than Prince Harry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're saving the best for last two.
Cause like he's just going to.
He's not.
He's not.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You know what?
Because the thing is, is that out of all the guys in your group, you were the first
one I knew.
Yeah.
No.
And it's just aware of on, on the, on the internet.
Yeah.
I was right.
So my, no, but no, that's not even that is just that if you were asking who's Joe,
I go, I don't know who's Gio.
I would.
Oh yeah.
That's that girl.
She's on the internet.
She has.
You know what I mean?
I would.
You're the first one I was aware of.
Nice.
So to have Joe on before you would have been ridiculous.
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
Plus you just said a baby.
It's a great thing to talk about.
Yeah.
I'm very emotional.
Yeah.
Fuck Joe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck that guy.
You know what?
We're never going to have him on.
I realize now, you know, we fucked that guy.
And I know he's a fan.
I know we look alike.
But you know what?
It's not Lyndon Johnson.
I want to fucking Jackie O. John F. and then that's it.
Yeah.
We stopped there.
And David's so three times.
And David's so three times.
I love David.
So funny.
Yeah.
David's my fucking.
I love that guy.
That dude is so fucking funny.
He's a future.
He's a future.
He's amazing.
I want to see him blow up.
He married you guys, right?
Yeah.
He did.
That's crazy.
Because he's a priest.
He's a pastor.
He's a pastor.
Yeah.
That's incredible.
That's minister.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
We're Gilbert and I.
No, no.
You guys are amazing.
How did you know?
You did it, too?
Yeah, he was with me.
No way.
No way.
You guys are amazing.
Like she gave us the German Shepherd, like Jack and Off story.
And then you gave us.
Jerk Off Dogs.
Yeah.
He's like 10 years old and still not potty trained.
Yeah.
See, they're fucking good.
Those are golden.
Sound bites, dude.
It's all about sound bites.
You guys are killing the sound bites right now.
Sound bites.
We're all snowed in.
We're all snowed in together.
Raise the roof.
So have you ever done one with a guest and then you don't air it?
We don't know.
We still air it because then we'll just like that and we'll amp up our energy.
We're like, oh, shit.
The professionals.
We have not aired stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Am I going to make it?
You're 100 percent.
You have to make it.
Yeah.
You have to make it.
I'm going to search for it.
I'm going to be so fast.
Tomorrow night, this thing is going to fucking kill it and it's going to come out.
This is a great fucking podcast.
We're going to tell you we had a technical difficulty.
Oh, your mic was off the whole time.
Sorry.
You know what?
You know, this podcast, we didn't go through the same topics.
I think we went to different places.
This is what I like.
Yeah.
We went to different places.
Also being a female, we want more females with talent and you kept it going.
You're great.
Yeah.
Are we wrapping it up?
No, we're not wrapping it up.
No, I'm just talking.
Bobby's like, can you fuck out of here?
Get the fuck out of here.
You don't like our water?
You're not going to drink our water?
What?
That's fucking fancy water.
Oh, this is water.
Yeah, it's for you.
What's so fancy about it?
I'm not going to tell you came on.
I feel like I've heard you guys say this before.
Okay, we have.
The Mountain Valley's right.
I feel like I've heard the, I think you said it.
Like you get fucking fancy water and it's just for the people on the podcast.
Right.
I listen when you speak.
Wow.
So you just lied to my face.
No, I'm a liar.
Do I lie all the time?
What was the best lie you told?
I just lie.
I lie so many times a day.
Have you lied today at all on this podcast?
No, I haven't lied today on the podcast.
You just lied.
But I just lied just now.
Yeah.
No, I just, I just, you know, I, I, I like exaggerate things and I, and I, and I, and I embellish
things and, um, you know, I want to get better at not doing that.
But your profession is a storyteller.
So I think that embellishing is a normal part of that process.
But if you're lying to get away from like real life stuff, it's a problem.
No, people will go like, Hey, we went to Sweden.
I've been there.
It's great.
It's beautiful.
But why do you have to say that?
I don't know.
And they go, what part?
You know, I forgot it was because it was a tour and then you're lying more.
Yeah.
What kind of tour?
It was just me.
I was just doing like this when I was younger.
I didn't stand up, you know, and then you get a question now that you bring that up.
What have you really been to Paris?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
What part?
I went to Paris.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's dive in here.
What were you doing there?
What part?
I went to Paris.
That's it.
All right.
Well, then you fucking, I know you've been to Germany.
All right.
You know what, if you want me to dig out a photo, I'll go dig out a photo.
Please.
Because I have one.
I've looked through all your photos.
He's leaving.
He's gone.
He's going to go to Google images, print an image of Paris.
I know that he worked in Germany for an IBM campaign.
Oh, that was not here.
Oh, cool.
That wasn't here in the States.
That was in Germany.
Oh.
So that I believe, but I'm still not sold on the whole Paris thing.
And I feel like I've unearthed all his photos every last one.
And you've never seen a Paris one.
I've never.
And it's like the, of all the places that you're, where you're going to take photographs,
it's going to be Paris.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Eiffel Tower for sure.
You were just there, right?
I have one of those.
No.
Oh, you guys, okay.
Oh, you were too pregnant.
Everyone else bought me was there.
Yeah.
Oh.
What's the cutoff for airlines when you're with child?
Like second trimester, closer to the third.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Or it's like you're really big.
Like give birth on a plane.
That would be really fucked up.
Why?
Cause then you're filling everything and then you're bleeding everywhere and you're like,
and then your child's like, I don't have a place of birth.
Delta.
Yeah.
Then I don't know.
Sounds scary.
I don't know my child.
Yeah.
Um, what do you think, what are the chances that he in fact brings that photo out?
Well, it's taking a long time for it to happen.
Let's put, let's put, let's put down the odds right now.
Um, I say about 2% chance that he actually brings out that photo.
I'm going with you.
You know him more than I do.
I'm not going to.
But you know what?
He surprises me sometimes.
I don't, I don't know where in the fuck in this entire house that he will actually find
a photo.
Even not even there's a photo of Paris, a photo.
I've stocked all his photos up in this closet.
What's nuts is that people still have photos.
Yeah.
I can't remember the last time I had a photo.
That's true.
I like them though.
I've been printing more and more photos out just for nostalgia's sake.
Yeah.
Like the old Kodak cameras, the disposable.
Yeah.
Those are the best.
I hated those.
The one.
And then you have to wait for like the flash.
Get the fuck out of here.
I said 2%.
She said 2%.
I underest.
Okay, bro.
I'm scared.
The Mona Lisa.
Mona Lisa.
Oh, that's the Louvre.
Let me see this.
I feel like we really got it.
Inspect this photo.
I mean, the Mona Lisa really is that small.
Okay.
But is this the only Mona Lisa?
Why would I take a photo of a not a Mona Lisa?
Where did you find that?
That is so cool.
I have because I have a stack of photos of me on that trip.
Yeah.
That's in my room.
I was fantastically fine trying to find one.
There was no other one.
There are other ones, but like.
One that you wouldn't go, oh, that's fucking definitely Paris.
You see, he surprises me once in a while.
You made it sound like you went through like everywhere in the house
and the only way that he would have a photo would be in the house.
Well, there's a chest in the room.
Okay.
Why would I go this?
This is a joke, right?
So this is me going, this stinks, right?
A joke, right?
So and this is the Mona Lisa, right?
Yeah.
Why would I do it to a fake?
Yeah, that's true.
Right?
I believe you.
Yeah.
So two shades.
Yeah.
That's pretty fast.
I apologize for questioning your sincerity.
But see, that's why I live in the world of the shadows.
Because we don't know.
Because you don't know.
If he's lying or not, you just never know.
You don't know if I'm lying or not.
So that's what makes me mysterious.
How dope would it be if he was like an assassin and you didn't know this whole time?
I could be.
Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, his kills would have to be in like a 10 minute window every day because
he just likes to be horizontal on bed for most of the part.
Like, what the fuck can you kill from bed?
Maybe I have, I work for the CIA.
I'm kinetic abilities.
And I just close my eyes and I kill people with my mind.
Oh, shit.
You're like, see, that's why I'm mysterious.
Yeah.
Mysterio.
The Asian Morpheus.
I really am.
So.
What?
Damn.
Shut up.
I lied to win and I love winning this.
But you actually didn't lie to win that.
You told the truth and I doubted you.
You told the truth to win.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you tell the truth to win.
Wow.
Yeah.
So many options.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Always remember that too.
You know what?
I can't believe I lost.
What was that?
Who'd you bet?
I said 2%.
But you should have bet, Gilbert.
I should have bet.
Fuck.
You have no faith in your commander.
What?
You have no faith in the commander.
I didn't bet.
I just didn't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I'm just here.
You didn't have my back?
I didn't have anyone's back.
No one in this room had your back.
Of course.
Of course it did.
Because you lied about Sweden.
And no one in this room.
But I lied about that.
So that's I never told anyone that I went to Sweden.
So you lied about lying about Sweden.
So cute.
Yeah.
Because you just said you told people.
You don't even heard of Double Lies?
Oh.
I've done Double Lies all day, every day.
Love that technique.
Tonight I'm going to the comedy store to play a FIFA tournament.
Am I lying?
I don't know, man.
What time is it at?
10.30.
You looked at the side.
I don't know.
It starts at 10, right?
Yeah.
But because I have to do another podcast.
We're doing another podcast after you.
Okay, that's true.
I remember hearing that.
For next week, for Jimmy O. Yang.
And I said, I don't know how long that's going to run.
So they're like, oh, you can automatically go to the semifinals.
Now, let me ask you that something.
Is that true or false?
You got to look at people in the eyes when you say it.
Is that true or false?
Well, what is what true or false?
Me playing a FIFA tournament tonight at the comedy store.
What time?
10.30.
You keep shifting your eyes.
I think it's true now.
Because now you're trying to do it on purpose.
Oh, wow.
And you're right.
It is true.
That's a former banker right there.
No.
Let's play this game.
Or I'm going to tell you some things about me.
Two truths and a lie.
Two truths and a lie.
Two truths and a lie.
And I want to see if you think it's true or false.
Okay.
We got to do the eye contact.
All right.
Say three things, okay?
Two truths and a lie, babe.
Two truths and a lie?
Yeah.
Okay.
I won't say anything.
Okay.
So, um, when I was 17 years old, I went to a rehab called the McDonald's Center.
Let me stop you real quick.
You're not going to give me like false information, like one little detail.
Like where you were wearing a red shirt, but you're like, no, it was a blue shirt.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
No.
Did I just do that now?
No, no.
She wants to know though.
I just want to make sure.
Very important question.
Yeah.
When I was 17, I went to the McDonald's center and rehab technique.
Okay.
Did I?
Or not?
No, no, no.
You have to say another two truths and a lie.
Three statements.
Three statements.
Oh yeah.
So that statement one.
Um, the second thing is, um, when I went to Paris, I also went to, I also went to, right
after that, I also went to Tokyo, England and Japan, no, Tokyo, Japan.
I went to Tokyo, Japan, England, England and Australia in that order.
No.
So right after Paris.
Yeah.
In this trip, I went to all those places at that during that trip.
Tokyo, England.
What else?
Australia?
So far.
Why are they so far?
Far?
I don't know.
Japan, Austria, England, France, France.
In a span of how long?
In a month.
Okay.
Okay.
And the third one is, um, I, um, Tokyo, England, Australia.
Last night, I hung out with Jeremy Piven.
I don't know your life though.
I know, but just sit and ask, see, there's a three, and he stutters a lot too.
She knows this one.
I want to, I want to see if you know, so you can recap, you can recap two truths in a while.
So the first one was, um, I went to a rehab called the McDonald's Center when I was 17.
Okay.
I, in this trip, I went to Japan.
Why did you smile?
I don't know.
I went to Japan too.
Japan, London, Australia.
London and Australia.
Okay.
And last night, I hung out with Jeremy Piven.
Jeremy Piven.
Is what?
A lie.
It is.
Oh man, I thought you did hang out with Jeremy Piven.
You did?
Yeah.
She's fucking good.
You know why she's good?
Yeah.
Because you tried too hard to stutter on the first two to make it seem like a lie.
Yeah.
That you weren't unsure.
So the first one was a giveaway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was good.
I thought it was a double lie.
Yeah.
I thought I was doing a double, double two.
No, no, no.
Oh, it's a double lie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she's off to you.
She's off to you.
Quick, man.
You want to do one with her?
No.
Yeah, yeah, do one.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll probably won't be able to read him.
But you'll do it to him.
You do it to you, now.
Yeah, you do it to you.
So what is it, two truths and a lie?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit, I got to think about it.
No, you have to just do it on the spot like I did.
Okay, two truths and a lie, yeah.
Well, it can be a truth, a lie, a truth.
Also it can be a lie, a truth, and a lie.
No, no, no.
Any order.
Okay, fine.
No, that makes it harder.
All right, fine.
That's the whole point.
Two truths and a lie.
Yeah.
That's it.
Any order.
It can be in any order, but I'm going to tell you what the lie is.
All right, fine.
All right ready. Yeah, I bit ready. Okay. Okay. Geo incident your turn. Oh shit. All right
So when I was 19, I was pulling out of my driveway, and I accidentally ran over my dog
Okay, and he died so he died. Yeah, okay, and then let me think of another one
This is this is hard. Yeah, um, your games. Yeah, um, I didn't have sex until I was 19. Okay, and
What's the third one? I saw my parents having sex the dog didn't die
How do you know I'll tell you why I hear I'll tell you why I'll tell you why
He looks so relaxed. Can I tell you why? Please please because you saw that I had two dogs here, right?
Yeah, and you were really like friendly about it, and I feel like you would have said that
What if I if I'm in a house and I see two dogs, oh my god, I love dogs
Oh man when I was 19, you know, you know, that wasn't my reason
That's what you had the most information. Yeah, and the two other statements were like declarations almost
I was trying to convince myself. I had a hard game to do to be the guy
You want to try one or no? Oh, we've done this already. All right
I'm awful at it. You are at giving two truths and a lie. I'm good at guessing not the other way around
Oh, I see I can't offer up information. Yeah when I'm trying to like come up with something
That should be a game. We play every week. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's a fun game. It's tough. My heart was like my throat
Yeah, you're intimidating. I am. Yeah, I look at you blink. Yeah. No, I don't blink. Yeah. Yeah, I can't blink
I think I think I would because the thing is is that I think I can get I can pretend truths or lies
Oh, that's how to pass it. Yeah. So what I would do is this I would if someone would ask me like have you ever had cabbage?
You know, I would pretend that I haven't to make my body react. Yeah, right? And then did you murder, you know?
Bryce no
Mmm, you mean you established a baseline so the cabbage and the murder would be at the same, you know, same wavelength wavelength
Right. Well, this is how I'm gonna try it, right? And they're like, okay, he didn't kill Bryce, but I get
We should
You know what they should have a light detector just built in my body. Yeah, right?
It has like a little green light and a red light
Yeah, like a Pinocchio and then here if it's unsure like a yellow neutral
Yeah, I saw the movie the color purple it turns red
No, I didn't through your coat to just like a red
Why you're not sex because one would be one color. No, we we got to be able to see it. Yeah
What do we have time
Oh, wow, that's quick pretty good. Yeah, this is nuts. What do you mean? I want to keep going. I know we're not done
Oh, I feel like you're trying to kick me out the whole time. Do you really?
I brought the fucking photo for the fucking you know, man, but yeah water. What's it? Yeah, what is the Louv?
Yeah, I remember Louv
This trip, you know this trip. Um, I didn't appreciate it. I
Didn't appreciate it. I can't believe you did IBM campaign, right? That's why you went to Australia and Japan
Yeah, I was paid to go and then the whole crew was like, we're gonna go to the Louv
I'm like, I don't know what it is and I went and that was a Mona Lisa and you were disappointed
No, no, look at how cute I was. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're pretty cute. How old were you there?
28 you look like a raver young. Yeah, jungle jeans. Yeah
Yeah, like a puka shell necklace. Yeah, it looks like you are wearing a puka shell. Are you wearing a puka shell necklace?
No, I'm not I don't even know what that is
So at the end of the thing we do at the at the end of the thing we do a unhelpful advice people email us
Then we answer questions
Those real nails or the clip-ons or whatever. They're not press-ons. They're they're acrylic. So they're not real
He's scared of nails. Are you really? Yeah. Yeah, like long nails. Why? Yeah, those just fucking freak the fuck out of me
What's the fear death strike? You know
You know what scares me what when I see this in porn and then one with my fingering. Yeah, I never get that
Fucking tissue sample
Yes, I always imagine it's probably gonna feel that way. I totally know like my soul sisters
Yeah, have you ever done this photo on Instagram where you should yeah
Oh, but I did it like that on purpose because it looks so stupid when they do this thing
But I purposely make it like this satire, but you did it for a joke. Yes
Not like really check out my nails or was it a double thing worried like I'm gonna make it a joke
But I won't people don't really see the double-eye double-eye double-eye or no, no, no, no, it's a joke
Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalilah and geo Antonin
Hey, Tiger, wait, what's up? That's your real last name. No, it's Kwan. Whoa
My middle name your handle wait wait Bart Kwan. Yeah, you're real last name because your marriage is Kwan
Yeah, my you want my legal. Yeah, I read you. So where did Antoine I come from? Yeah, my middle name. Okay, go ahead
Are you Giovanna? Yes
Giovanna Kwan
On a recent episode Bobby talked about addiction how it's something you've got to accept and try to control
Not sure if it's the same
But I now know and have come to realize that I have a really bad problem with masturbation
It affects my schoolwork exercise things. I enjoy and always leaves me feeling like I'm disgusting for what I did
It isn't so much the act as it is that I'm using it to escape real life
For some reason when I'm close to finishing my mind fills with things
I don't exactly want to see at the moment people. I idolize things. I enjoy doing people's faces
I don't get why this happens and why I can't stop. What can I do to try to overcome this? Love you guys
How does it be clear when those faces pop in his mind when he's about to come?
Yeah, when he's a finish close to finishing my mind fills with things
I don't exactly want to see at the moment. So why is he addicted to something he doesn't want to see?
I don't know. It sounds like it's two different things. Yeah, I'm confused when I come
I think of you know what I think of every single time Joe Biden
And I have no fucking idea why really that's a true
Yeah, your brain is supposed to go blank for like a second
Yeah, why Joe what I have no idea he wings
So I don't get why this happens and why I can't stop so maybe just doesn't even know why this happens
How old is he no age? Mmm. If he's 40, it's weird
If he's 17
Yeah, you jerk off till you die if you're 17 you're allowed. He's going to school right he says yes school
Yeah, so he's young, but if you're like, you know, if you're working if you're like a banker
You're not going to work because you're jerking off and yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, yeah
So he's fine. Give me another. I I don't I don't know what to tell him
Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck he's even talking about right now, dude
I just don't understand where his mind fills with okay
Let's just let's just assume he has a master a chronic masturbation problem. Well, it's a disease. Okay, but it's like addiction
Only if it gets in the way of like responsibilities, right? Yeah, I think that it is, you know, you know
That's why they have sex anonymous like sex because people are addicted to coming and
and obsessing and
That the chase and the whole thing. It's a it's a disease. It's a it's a drug. It alters your feelings
So if it's a disease, you got to get checked you got to get help for it. Hmm. You know, I
Think the part that throws me off is like
Like when he's saying he's thinking of other things
I just feel like his mind is like obviously preoccupied with something else because I mean that's happened to me
Or I'm like, I'm like in the middle of it and I'm just like wait, why am I thinking about these things right now?
This is like the last thing I want to think about. Oh, yeah
Yeah, then like you want to focus more on like the porn so that you're not thinking right
So that's why for me it felt like it was two separate things
But he's saying that he uses it as a way to escape live real life
So that in itself is a problem, but I'm also not a sexist one of those things were like I think when I want about to come
I try to think of me like that. I try to come I want to think about other things. I don't come right away
Like no, I think about like because I don't want to come I happen to be on top
He does have these moments of baby. No, baby. No
Why is he doing trying to remove me off his yeah, you've never done that
Lift up
Like wiggle it's not lifting her
No, but he doesn't want to come yet, so he's
Coming in three seconds, okay
I feel like there's no shame in coming the other day. I spread her cheeks. I like spreading her cheeks
I don't like when you do that
He doesn't spread it in a way that's like yeah, I do it she wants to crack that
Okay
Yeah, it could not go far enough for
No, I want her pins pink sock to come out if he wants me to collapse like that. Yeah, I wanted to prolapse. Yeah
Yeah, does your vagina let me ask you something. Yeah your veg
Go back into a normal position after you have a baby. It does but it's a little bit different
We're just sad
I I loved my vagina because everything was just like tucked in there and it was like really nice and like it's not like that anymore
I mean, it's still tucked in there, but it's just a little bit more on like the
Loose but saggy, but you've also only been like three months, right? Yeah, does it get better?
I think it's supposed to because you got the episiotomy, right? Yeah, they sew it. Oh, they do sew it
Yeah, they don't just leave it. I had a ten nine pound kid. Oh my god. Holy shit. Yeah, he's just he's what how does you know when
They do vaginal reconstruction surgery. What do they do there? I don't know. They just
Pulled a hole in the flaps. Yeah, yeah, but it's more as as an aesthetic. Yeah, and yeah, I don't know if you can actually
I think they actually can now like repair, but you can also just do Kegel exercise
Like this. Yeah, imagine this you have a cave a very big cave. Got it. And there's an entrance to the cave, right?
You close the entrance. I mean you make the entrance a little smaller. Okay, you still got the cave. Oh
That would happen, right? So you stick your dick in right the entrance, but there's so much space in the cave
You know what Jojo told me what that's what the butthole feels like
Oh, the butthole feels like a cavern inside. Yeah, cuz it's really tight. Yeah, and then the rest of it's just
Creatures creatures. Yeah, how some some girls just take anal like it's nothing
Yeah, I have a friend and she just just gets rammed in the ass all day
And she is so proud of this and the first I thought so okay the first time I had anal
This isn't gonna be a like walk in the park, right? I seriously had fevers for three nights
Oh, that's it wrecked my life the first time. Yeah, you had a fever from a fever from anal the first time
I think that it just fucked up in me like fucked me up internally
Oh, and then my my my friend Diane just fucking like farts out whole Cheetos because she just gets rammed in the ass
All day and she loves it. Yeah, that's Diane fucking animal. Yeah, I don't ever want to eat that fucking beef
That's a beast right there. She prefers anal over vaginal sex. Yeah
Quick vote, who do you think the next dark night should be Batman?
Can't be a black guy. No, I think Idris Alba should be James Bond. That's fine. They're gonna give it to Tom
Bruce Wayne has to be all Tom Hiddleston really not John Hamm
Oh, John Hamm. What are we talking about James Bond or no Batman Jake Gyllenhaal? Is he already?
I think that's gonna reset the oh, yeah, he'd be a good one. I think he'd be good
He's had to thicken up a bit. Yeah, because that's pretty. You think so
Yeah, Bruce Wayne. He's gonna be a young Bruce Wayne, but he's also I've seen him in real life. He's not that tall
I think we're gonna say he's not that attractive. You don't think he is. No, I think he's very attractive before the podcast before
Gio got here. Um, I'm sitting there playing video games and
my girlfriend walked in with a bottle of cologne and she goes
Let's stop there. I don't know what's happening
And she goes
Stop that cuz I twist my words and you're gonna make it sound fucked up
No, I already know what he's gonna say because he repeated back. This is not what you said
This you didn't have cologne in your hand. I did and I think they know I sprayed the room
Yeah, but why I
Because I said it smelled like bodies. No, and it's not because of anyone
But the fact that this room smells like shit swear to God
Sweet, I don't believe in God. This is what she said. Oh my god. And I went out
What do you think what did you see it? No, that white people
You didn't say white people you swore to God you're lying to me right now. I said it smelled it smells like
farmers
My deals are farmers so she could have been talking about me. No, you haven't been here yet
These two walk in she freaks the fuck
She runs into the fucking room and she goes was your cologne. What's your cologne the wrong one?
I go why she goes they smelt good something that but their necks
That's a fun price. I promise you that I swear George and Bryce look at me right now. Okay, I
Swear to God she did that
So you can take it the way you want to take it Bryce knows the truth, but that's you know the truth
Okay, you saw how she reacted Bryce. I don't think he's smell. All right, so you guys smell like it's just cleaner next farmer
That's all I'm gonna say clean your necks. Yeah, your neck suck
He's hiding his neck
He's like doing this. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you guys not shower today or what you two?
What happened it was just this room what happens animals animals
But anyway, um Geo you were fucking amazing. Thank you so much for coming
Clap for Geo Antoinette everybody
Yeah, I don't want to go yet the fucking go no right now
Anything you want to plug handles
Not like you need our help because you guys are like killing the game. No, whatever you guys want to plug
I don't know follow follow Geo. Also if you want to work out you live in LA
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a lot of fun. Is it that is it? It's not 24 seven though. No, it's not I gotta go
I gotta go over there. I want to get my first maybe my first workout will be the will vlog it
Yeah, you should do it. What do you want to do it? Let's do it. Wednesday. I'll do it with you
No, I want to do it Wednesday. All right. What if we text you're gonna text us back? No, I'll do one day
You know what he'll reply to you. Yeah, he does. Yes. I always a plug
So we'll we'll do that and then I have a plug. Um, I'm at I need help
Oxnard. I'm at Oxnard levity live this weekend. It doesn't look like the fires are at the fly fires are at
It doesn't look good the numbers
Looks terrible. So, um, please support
If you're in the area just show up. Yeah, just show up show up. Just to show up
And um, your family here, you can always do this podcast if you need it and um, that was fantastic. Give her a round of applause.
This is awesome
We'll be right guy. Uh, we'll be right back guys. Wow. She is so fun. Yeah, I love her. I feel like she is my, um
Energy twin
Yeah, there's some people that you kind of uh, you you look at them and you're like, wow, we kind of have
the same
general vibe
Yeah
tomboyish
Except I was compared to her. I was a much more
I was a slut in my 20s, you know, yeah, she's like, uh through boyfriends. Yeah
Kyle's like, uh 50 and she's she's the better version of me the more refined version of me more British version
Yeah, very American. Yeah
Uh, George any announcements for this week?
Um, merch won't be out probably when you hear this, but it should be out before, uh
The next podcast. Okay. So check our website. Yes. Go ahead, George
The tiger belly dot com the tiger belly dot com. I have not checked that in a while
The tiger belly dot com where we always update the podcast up in the logs
Um, also guys, we will be taking a break over the holidays because George and Gilbert have to
Go back to their respective homes. Are you going home too, Bryce?
He's been gone for good for you
Okay, good. Good. Oh, wow. Um, so we will be you tell them who's lost, Bryce. You tell them who's disrespectful child
So we're gonna have one more one one more episode after this one
Yeah, and we are gonna take a two week break and we will be back. Oh, it's one week actually or one week only
Yeah, oh, and then we will be back the week of january 3rd
Correct. Yeah, the first week of january. We'll be back. Right. So we're only taking it. Damn. Yeah, I thought I had longer
to fuck around
You do have longer
Uh, but also, yeah, but we'll also have another video slash audio out like a best of the year. Yeah, potentially
Yes, okay. Cool. Okay. Cool. I also wanted to make one more announcement. It's a shout out or announcement
No, no, no, it's it's regarding this guy. I really want to find him a home
Um, that cute little dog for the audio people for the audio for the people that audio
Right. I'm holding it. It's like, what is she talking about?
But she's giving away bobby
He looks to me like he's probably a Yorkshire mix Yorkie mix
He is the cutest little dog. So chill. I mean you can attest to the fact that he is very chill opposite of goby
Right. He is the exact opposite of goby
All he does is really just cuddle and eat and sniff around
Super chill. Um, the shelter says he's about six years old
But I suspect he might be a touch older than that. So if you're looking for a really chill senior dog
And you know how to provide for a chill senior dog, please
Hit any of us up
Right. Yeah. Okay. Good. Good slang. Yeah, hit us up
Hit us up and um, let me know if you're interested. Yeah, because we um, buddy needs a home for the holidays
Cool. Anything else, George? Uh, don't forget to hit up jk news for more, uh, kalyla and gilbert
And yeah, you know, so gilbert and I did jk news last friday
And you can go to their youtube channel. I think uh, three of them are up already
So probably four will be up by the time this is out. How many do we shoot? My gosh, can you open that?
I think 10. Oh, wow. And I am just so thankful that you were there
I was running on an hour and a half of sleep. Oh, yeah, you didn't sleep at all
No, I was
Dead, I was a zombie and I thank god you were next to me because then I could kind of like bounce off of your energy
And I was able to formulate sentences. How I was able to formulate sentences. I'll never know
But um, I'm so glad you were there. You're like gilbert's like my comfort blanket. They're also just a really group
They're the nicest people ever
Folks, yeah, every last one of them david tiffani joe geobart. They were really cool
Comment on any of those videos. I'll comment back
You'll get a comment. You get a comment. Hey your prize for watching is a comment from george kimmel
Uh, kalyla, where can we follow you?
On all forms of social media at calamity k george
george underscore kimmel on instagram and brice at
Oh, damn. He's not single price. I'll hit him up
On instagram a quick mma minute though. Did you watch the brian ortega? Oh my god. Okay guys
Well, let me just announce uh follow us on instagram at tigerbelly on twitter at the tigerbelly
And any most any questions at the tigerbelly at gmail.com. You can send us any stuff
packages to our p.o. Box, which is 1626 north wheel cocks
Avenue number 161
hollywood california 90028 send the uh stop the send the slept king a uh christmas gift or something like that
Uh, anyways, go ahead george. Oh, I was just gonna
Geo's instagram since she didn't plug it herself geo antoinette geo underscore a n t o i n e t t e
Ooh, cool. And guys, if you don't like mma, this is the time we say bye
mma minute with kalyla
Fight wow brian ortega
I mean he did a standing a standing gear team
He did two and pushed off the cage to get a tighter. That was yeah, that guy is a star
That's crazy. I mean and that's the scary part
It's like usually you wait for the fight to go to the ground
To kind of then assume that the the guy better in jujitsu was going to take over from there
He didn't need to take the guy to the ground. He did that shit standing. He flew he was flying and I love cub swanson
I've been a cub swanson fan for a very long wc days, right?
Yeah, but I really might be on the tea city
Train now you should I mean, I know I've watched all his fights. I know that he's spectacular
You know, and I love his story. He's you know, he's from the rough parts of san pedro
and you know he took
Jiu-jitsu with the gray season they kind of mentored him the gray season
He has that striking coach too. Oh, yeah, the boxing guy who first took him in. Yeah
Yeah, so that was a really cool fight and you guys should go watch it. That's all we have for mma minute this week
It's an actual minute. Yeah, surprise
Uh, bye guys. Hey, why don't you sort of brav? I get that. It's all brav. Bye
Hey
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