TigerBelly - Episode 124: Jean-Bob

Episode Date: January 10, 2018

Bobo gets a lob from the heavens. Khaloko uses reverse psychology. George does a betray. We talk premature balding, centaurs, and Uncle Raoul. #justicewillprevail #dontletthesunfalldownSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today five four three two one guess what guess what guess what what heaven will prevail heaven will prevail that is this episode's topic that sounds like a hit song thanks man thank you so much it's not mine I stole it from who I'll tell you later about it okay but um welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly we've got George back he had some sort of disease okay you're okay how you're a lot better now yeah yeah we're gonna talk about you in a second man I'm on to you bro we got Galupko what's up what's up we got Colo hello hello that's

me you got me blue blue I want to tell you something right now man something happened to me today that was um you know sometimes you get lobs and then you have to hit it you know and people give you a lob out of nowhere you know they're called um God gifts okay little gifts from God and I was so today I had to do this thing called what the fuck you're doing with the kung fu thing that was really weird copy up because you're doing I think it's cuz I'm out of frame am I I'm just making sure I don't block you in the frame if you ever do a kung fu hand thing like that you could you could die people from where I come

from dude you do a kung fu hand your fucking hand gets broken well fuck you up hey sorry I'll go do my clip go as my brother says I will murder you all from last week my brother told everyone in this room last week how did I miss that he was gonna murder everyone in this fucking room he pointed to us individually individually including Bryce including Brian price pay attention oh man we'd red zone my brother and we will we're gonna air some of that something I think we'll air something maybe not the the actual like banging on the table stuff but yeah we're not gonna do um well obviously the

thing that I said to get them there but um yeah it's quite interesting but any who but God God gifts mm-hmm so I had to do this thing called so people know how to give fuck but people I'm on a show coming out anyway spit it out and be proud of it I'm on a show so check it out I'm on a sitcom yeah cuz splitting up together Jenna Fisher on anyway Oliver Hudson any who big names pretty good but um we got the best possible spot so we got was that mean Tuesday night check it out March 27th it goes Roseanne right you know you go after that no just check it out the middle oh a new episode of Black-ish oh and then our show so

Tuesday's comedy night not only that we go they're gonna put it on again the next night after modern family a brand new modern family has that been announced officially yeah they did today I can say it yeah and that's two nights they're gonna show our show those are huge those are huge lead up you cannot get better than that if they said you're gonna be at Friday at 11 after some local yeah yeah yeah it'd be like oh they don't like it hate it yeah but then we so I go to this thing this TCA thing where all the critics are and yet the fucking go on a red carpet do all that bullshit right I do the red car we do a

casting and then the president of ABC goes I want to be in it so she got in it right which is a great sign but then here's what happened before that this is where the god gift happened the law the law god law the god law there it is so I show up and I'm first of all you know you show up and everyone shows up at the same time and so when people are getting out of their cars you have assistants and people coming from ABC going oh mr. you know mr. Lee not mr. Lee but live I'll go to like mr. Braff cuz Zach Braff was there mr. Braff you know come to the table listen that the first five people that walked up to me

goes are you press I go what straight up straight up like you're in the wrong area why do they always do this to your impress your presses on the other side of the building and he go no I'm on a show you're on a show yeah what show splitting up together and then they have to look at look at paperwork oh my so it's not even yeah yeah yeah I guess yeah but like every five people I have to go in right nightmare here's another thing that happened did you notice I'm wasn't wearing a tie in that photo yeah what happened here they yanked it off my body the publicist two of them to do this awful tie oh they yanked it off my

body and then they set me up to a room to cover my fucking lesions on my face I mean your liver spot my liver spots really yes I'm in a private room they're putting like this special liver spot makeup for like diseased Asian faces okay like what says Alfie Solomon's and peeky blinders you know his face is all crusty why that's what you had that's what I had you have what do you call it a scurvy I had scurvy on my face so they just put so that's not so then they go you know you're you're you know you're a little too early or I go okay you pick me up right they go go to the bar so I go to the bar and I see Oliver Hudson

who's on the show and I go finally I could hang out with somebody he's sitting with all the executives at ABC he goes Bob come on over this is good that's not because I don't know what to do he doesn't she asked her I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna fart I'm gonna do something say something racist you know I mean you build the fun cakes in those situations no man yeah not in a super high pressure it's almost like he morphs into someone and my and also the inner voice it says just don't say anything if you don't say anything then it's even right it's zero zero yeah the game right you're not gonna win but

you're not gonna lose either so don't say anything you could potentially lose by being a dud right sometimes when I'm in a place and I'm like god that person was a dud you know it's like people were just sat there like they're saying nothing not adding to anything yeah my are you a spy yeah you know but so but my thing is okay so you come you go over there and I could have said a lot of things that I would normally do you're like oh yeah that fat fuck you know I mean I could just say things but I don't know who they I don't know right you don't know your audience so I shut the fuck up I'm just sitting there and now

people think that I'm being eccentric mmm that's the that's a term the people used to describe me and I'm no more I don't know what it means you know who Howard Hughes was fucking eccentric is that how you say it's an eccentric eccentric all right I'm not that's I'm not a crazy person people know it's a good thing you're weird you're off you know I want to be normal or I want people to go oh he could babysit my kids not oh he can like you know paint a mural in the backyard so what that's what I look like like a gook basquiat that's what I am yeah yeah goosky odd yo I'm gookski odd that's a shirt yeah

yeah John Bob yeah yeah yeah John Bob so I so I'm sitting there I don't say nothing and now it's kind of like people are asking me questions so you just stand up right oh my god small talk they fucking know you do stand up no but you know yeah I do it I do it like like just weird and they're just people just eating talking you know you're bombing right now but big time your phone or no so then this is what I hear you have to yell the corn okay so just that just listen to what I have to say okay what I hear is this you have to yell the corn as loud as one could say that now if you don't know my act back 15 years ago I

used to have a joke where my dad said you have to sell the corn right yeah right so I go okay that's a joke from 15 years ago but it was dead on she this person did the accent very good very good shout out I look up and it's Roseanne Barr whoa points and now everyone points at the table goes they're at now the focus is on me and I and then my face you know me because that's a lot and I got up you know I shook her hand I think she goes I'm a big fan of this guy forever everybody right thank you so much you know I mean I'm like I'm blushing John Bob is yeah John Bob is you guys know each other no no been better it's a God love it's a God love God love you guys

knew each other no she just knows your stand-up she but that was a joke I haven't told them 15 years too right and she remembered it and then she leaves right and now the attention's on me and and then everyone just starts laughing at me but which is a good thing yeah it's a good look you should have seen your face they said right and they're like one of the exact executives like I'm so scared like I'm so nervous because I'm such a big fan that that's my first interaction with her that was amazing you know and then you know it became looser and you know I mean I don't and then I'm going through the line with

Lindsay Price and because all these people see the show they saw three episodes and all that I'm not kidding you it's not in my head it's on fucking camera people would go oh yeah you guys are on the show because I mean they had paired me with you're amazing Lindsay on it she is amazing though but nothing for me nothing gone okay nothing so I think this season I just slid by you know the performances were a little iffy maybe cut the scenes down a bit no I think you know what could I say something don't sell yourself short you were great but I think that Lindsay is a seasoned actor and she she is a very you know to her

credit she's a very lover yeah and God bless her and take care okay take it bless you take care goodbye Lindsay goodbye Lindsay your dad's your dad but okay that's the shirt with me and let me with like little what he had what he called dreads yeah that'd be cool anyway so that happened I came back and to do this podcast and I don't know I think my mood as of late it's you know when I watch a show it affects my life mm-hmm and black mirror has completely affected my life if you're not watching Black Mirror especially this last season there's something it listened to me guys there's something real wrong with you

that's not true because it is very it's a very dark show and I don't think that if you're looking for a feel-good show and you watch episode 3 crocodile it might fuck up your entire week fuck me up the last one the black museum one oh my god yeah that was intense yeah but no spoilers though you guys have to watch it but I don't like people go you know what like people go you know what's good and it has no gore and it feels good but I watch it the fucking golden girls I love the golden girls I have the right outside I have the fucking for first three up seasons all of it oh my god over over and over again my whole life

I've watched such a great punch line for being fine yeah defined characters so it's like I'll watch if it's good I'll watch it when they go hey watch the little fish movie with the little Dory so and here's so not only that is the black mirror affecting me but I um I started doing what cuz Kalilah Kalilah Kalilah goes on you should not smoke so on and on so I quit smoking five months ago okay so I have no more no more smoking okay this is a new thing it's become vegetarians oh shit you jumped on yeah seven days no bro did I force you into it no but you know what it's condescending the way

you say it no that's not you want she's like you're not gonna be able to do it so I'm not even gonna ask the only way to get you to do anything is to say you can't do it reverse psychology reverse psychology 101 yeah but I fall for it every time all right if you want me to do anything that's how you do it for a week I was like please don't do it cuz it's not like you're gonna last more than a day please just don't join in and he's seven days into it that's a veggie burger he's eating that's impressive I'm eating a veggie burger right now and look it's only for the month of January it's just a trial and

it's not it's not that I don't believe in eating meat I just hate like the agribusiness and how everything's just like mass produced and all that so yeah but anyway but here's the thing that it so with the black mirror and the vegetable that vegetarianism yeah I have to say the only positive is I've never had such fruitful shit what is a fruitful shit it's it's it just keeps on giving the shit I've never had my poop bind yeah he's always had scattered poo mines like debris yeah the Katrina so you don't have actually solids I never do I eat so awfully that if you look at the inside the toilet he has

messy shits before it looks like Aleppo oh god like an aerial view of Aleppo just just every mess oh you spray blood you know everything yeah blood yeah what else yeah that's another problem but with this vegetarian I have never had I've never had you know hearty you know the Lord of the Rings a ring what does it do it's like there's it binds is the ring that binds the other people that binds it together it says it in the prophecy of the Lord of the Rings that's what this is doing it's you've also lost three pounds and I've gained three pounds you've gained yeah I think that I I know that I'm getting enough

protein I just think that by nature of going vegetarian it's it's very carb heavy no matter what you can't get around the fact that you know it is carb heavier than having a higher protein meal and that's just the end of it glucose yeah it's like when I'm hungry I'm gonna have vegetables and rice and you know try to get like protein but yeah I've gained three pounds I think my body shutting down guys it's like what do you guys normally eat then just that just burgers I know I still eat eggs I still eat a lot of veg I mostly just eat a lot of vegetables and I I can try to combine proteins to make a whole protein

I'm more careful than him but I'm actually getting the least benefit he's losing weight I'm gaining weight it's so sad he's winning he's winning and this was my idea I like going to the veggie grill I do back light but there's a couple of chain now friend yeah but I like when the veggie grill I I I've always liked it even when I was a vegetarian because I just like the fact it kind of does taste like chicken you know like no but it's like you know they're fried chickens Santa Fe sandwich it kind of looks like it tastes like a fried chicken sandwich but it's not there's also an artificial robotic

androide kind of vibe to it too and that's why I like to like it's like future food like I mean like like in a space station Jetsons yeah and they they're nachos are like what aliens wouldn't make if they heard about nachos you know it's not quite there but there's something weird about it that's why I like it and then we went to another restaurant down the street what's that place down the street or in Silver Lake whatever that fucking thing is Chloe Chloe Chloe really good so that there's these new joints popping up you know maybe we all can do it you get it what happens if you could pass a month

would you keep doing it no okay because I know because I want to eat sushi one day whatever if you're a pescatarian only fish as oh I do can I do that now no we have to do the month of January you open up his mind when I be pescatarian now I'd rather be pescatarian look at his face you know what not surprised not surprised how about this you know what you know what all right how about this I call about this you know what you're right I'm a loser I can't do it I'm weak you're weak you're pretty weak I'm a weak guy I'm gonna be pescatarian body that's good to do what you want I ain't gonna do what I want I am good like I

want to be it now yeah you reverse psychology you couldn't do it dude I did it I did for three months that wasn't no did you gain weight yeah a lot of fries that's vegetarian oh okay say I don't loot dude I'm eating less but getting fat maybe it's my thyroid I need me but what is about the message that the agriculture business I've seen docs about it you know yeah it's they they raise cows in humanely yeah but also in so much abundance and we were just so wasteful with with everything like how we consume how we produce all of that is just wasteful and it's not I'm my I'm not opposed to eating meat if it's like

responsibly sourced and all of that if I if I had the liberty if I have the skill if I the skill to hunt my own shit to spearfish every day to grab my own stuff I would absolutely utilize and eat all animals I just don't I live in a modern world where I live in this condo I don't get to do all that and I feel bad by being this like wasteful consumer that's the only reason why really and also I generally think cows are really cute and pigs are smart and I just you know I'm getting sensitive I'm getting really soft watch Okja I watched Okja I didn't finish it Carlos Mancio when I went to Honduras back in the day I had

lived in this village do you know that if for a month I lived in because Carlos comes from a little village in Honduras no running water no electricity it's literally prehistoric medieval shit but I got used to it and they've never seen Asian the kid villagers the kids so I was pretty much like the Elvis of that town you're famous I mean I would wake up and I would have I would be the pipe piper I'd walk out of this little building this hut and I'd have 50 kids just follow me around yeah yeah they throw rocks at my head I don't give a fuck they would they thought I was sort of creature from a different planet but I

one morning he goes hey bro that's just the way he talks in my head yeah hey bro there's oh we're gonna kill a pig you go check it out bro they flip this thing upside down they stuck a thing in his neck it squealed like I've never seen anything squeal and I fucking ate the fuck out of it because I was so hungry but I felt so bad yeah well I've seen those videos that's that's what I grew up I you know it's so weird when I came to the US they would serve they wouldn't serve a whole lechon which is so customary in the Philippines to serve a whole pig with a face and everything in it and I remember one time we went to

Filipino party but they were a lot of different races there and they asked they asked the the host to put a towel over the pigs face because they couldn't eat eat the pig with a pig staring at them which I really never thought was an issue growing up because that's just how we do it we roast the whole pig right don't we put the whole thing in the table but I think that's a little hypocritical if you can't look an animal in the eye while you're eating it then you don't you don't deserve that food but is this hypocritical you eat a fucking pig then you should be able to eat a dog a part of that I do agree with

I just don't think that I mean do we need to be killing 60 different kinds of animals is what I'm saying I understand but what I'm saying is is that is it the same thing essentially yes I think that a pigs intelligence is very much right that's what I've been told they're like dolphins they're land dolphins they're smart as far as I saw babe yeah they're incredibly intelligent and I think they're one of the few that orgasm wait wait wait what they orgasm what let's or maybe this I read that science alert let's what what animal orgasmed no why would they thought that not all animals have sex for pleasure they have sex out

of like an innate drive to reproduce I've never seen a fish orgasm yeah but dolphins what if they what if all animals have orgasm they just don't make facial expressions but they feel it no they don't make noises like I do like oh you know I mean very vocal yeah what if a giraffe just went that's it and it was like the most but it felt so good yeah yeah but that's just the way they express it yeah are you sure giraffes don't orgasm I'm not sure I don't know how they even measure exactly there's no way to do it because I mean in monkeys at least you can see that they give me they give each other head they blow each other

like you jerk off monkeys yeah I've seen monkeys jerk off like right and they jerk off to me like there was this one zoo that I went to often you're showing off but okay I swear there's a monkey just like chuk chuk all day yeah yeah yeah they call it look look look look well like monkey they're the closest ancestors right yeah could you nope what do you mean you mean like what did you say no with that I didn't say there's a smirk on your face and you're like can I could you could you eat with them yeah of course what you say no okay just hit a little smirk on your face could you know but I'm gonna be real yeah I wouldn't

do this I don't attract it to it yeah yeah I know what you're gonna say but can you there's eat with it no can you eat with it can you can you have sex with a monkey of course beastiality if you want your dick ripped off they oh they would fight good luck trying to fuck a monkey what if I look wore my like fancy fur coat what do you mean no I just like done it up you know I mean like I wore my fur coat where an armor because that's threatening them no I'm gonna just be I want to like put like yeah I have Sam Tripoli okay I'll grab all your hairs like what you shave them right I'll just save all that I'll paste

it to my body Sam Tripoli's hair it's much like a monkey yeah let's be real make sure the monkey is 18 and over yeah yeah and the monkey was like who I was like hi yeah right and then I can you know he's laying on his back him now a girl I mean oh you said him it's too late you said him we have to stick with it all right well then that's weird because I don't know if he's gay but there is homosexuality in the animal kingdom yeah there is of course you see even but you have a baby what could you have a baby with a monkey no are you retarded are you sure I don't think that's possible all right this is I mean

is this even science alert is this even well if there are closest ancestors right there are cousins no man we just listen man listen friend I saw plenty of the lips okay I did okay he wants to make like a human version of a liger yeah where it's like close DNA but then the baby comes out sterile or I kind of want to like a mule they should start crawl I want to meet a centaur you want to fuck a horse no I want to meet one I want to like a ride a centaur oh and because you could talk you know you don't need the radio I think they probably would be like it was all super you know a centaur is a half human right

the way so you're like what I would do a saddle I'm not gonna put my arms around you know the human half that's what I'm saying I'm riding him really right basically riding a human yeah yeah no I'm riding the horse part I wouldn't hang on to the human part I would ask can I make put a may I put a saddle on your back because I'm not gonna hold your human parts yeah he's like no dude my name is Raul and this is how I do it I don't know your name has anything to do with it but all right all right so I'm riding a centaur right yeah and then you don't even have to have jams on you can just say what's up yeah how do you

know any uh you know Pegasus you know you could just ask him questions you know yeah about that Pegasus is like they're Jesus oh yeah yeah well Centaur is Jesus yeah he just thinks I think about you know talk about George's betrayal well it's I'm trying to ease into it because I don't even know how to really do it but um he's sick I'm gonna be point blank with you man get on that mic and I'm gonna give you an out well I'm gonna take it then sir oh you are okay good what's the out well then here's your out you can leave our podcast you can go with the oven whoa what have you heard what are the why

would I leave this podcast because um I feel bones like check this out the other night and I go what is it and it's Theo and George comfortably hanging out arms over each other like oh hanging out he's like yeah dude he's my dude too no man bruh bruh and I was just like hmm we should have signed an exclusivity contract typical shit right there man that's fucking Shakespearean building the Empire really create more family you know bring more people in the family let me tell you something you fuck all right if you we come first yeah no I'm this is what I mean okay all right just kidding just

kidding if on a Wednesday you're doing his podcast and I need to shoot an emergency one you bail his that kind of shit we come first yeah all right then you can do both that wasn't such a bad conversation that's why I've got that's why I've got a cousin you know so how long you gonna be stretched thin so you want what do you want to do what you're you want to just produce podcasts the moment yeah and wow that's cool yeah that's awesome but the what you gain you there's synergies through a through expanding the Empire you know you learn new things for everybody you work with

may I make a comment oh typically you have a very nasally voice your regular voice yeah the fact that you're an easily that you're congested now actually takes it takes it away takes it away yeah so you're not nasally when you're actually nasally you sound okay you sound okay you know what you're a lot to call me instead of text me now only when you're sick okay last for another three days then back to texting hi yeah yeah your energy is weird you're still sit last week here what was it I was a cold sinus infection just going home back to Michigan like they're a whole bunch of little like kids kids sick kids yeah

running around the flu this season is I hear awful no I was fighting it for a week and then my Tuesday rolled around and I just couldn't roll out of bed I walked like five feet to the TV turned on the TV and then it was like I told Bryce to come help you guys out I love being sick though no it's like what I love being painfully sick because you don't have to do anything I'm kind of the way not to eat much you could just watch TV and just wallow in your misery I love it it's the only time I can actually relax you know they don't care what I'm watching on TV usually it's like I have to watch the best show out

there yeah I just watched all of them when I was living in La Jolla I got sick really sick and I went to because it was a blockbuster my by my house yeah and I rented a bunch of movies and I just remember calling to work on I'm not gonna be in for two days this is I'm and I remember just not eating it was raining and I would just watch like movies and just lay there and it was probably the happiest time back then then my car got towed during when it was raining when I was sick I didn't care I was just like let me just be sick I love the feeling oh and then when you get healthy it was like I got a

responsibilities now yeah now you gotta I you do milk it though because when you're sick even if it's for three days I don't know why but you veg out for like two weeks longer than you should yeah because I just have a slow metabolism yeah I have I have broken insides yeah I yeah I you know I know I'm not healthy I'm on the verge I'm on the verge of some sort of like traumatic thing physical thing I can feel it I think I quit smoke I think I quit smoking a little too late I think that I'm healthy I'm trying yeah hopefully it's not too late I don't think so you'd be surprised how quickly the body heals and regenerates

well that's the best compliment I've heard you say in a while and that's why you get the smokers cough because all that cilia those like hair like structures that were once flattened and dead in your lungs are now coming back up so it's now able to kick up all that mucus and so you're getting healthy so even though it feels shitty in your lungs when you cough that's a good sign is it pedophilia oh my god let me ask you something okay okay it's not pedophilia but I just want to ask you something because it you know I don't approach this I don't think there is a way to approach it I'm gonna do it anyway okay

I'm gonna try okay so Calila wanted me to listen to see ya like she's like a big CFM oh my god I already know where this is going and yes it's pedophilia yeah but I'm not gonna say that I'm not attracted to her but what I'm saying is there's this girl that's in all her music video the dancer Maddie she's really good yeah she's really good he just he just found out about her oh girl so I follow on Twitter you know and but then when I started following her cuz she's underage it made me feel gross is that weird it's not weird and I think that's the correct feeling to feel because you're like basically following a

child's life and it does make up fucking tutorials on fucking YouTube stuff as it's weird but I also I'm curious to see what I feel yeah I think you're just a fan of it of a younger you know artist good because with kids I'm weird man with that shit and I think that you have to really proceed with caution when it comes to that because yeah you know people do assume the worst out of anyone so I was at the veggie grill the other day and I so there's this comic that I know right who's accused of doing something sexual in a bad way so he was kind of black bald I hadn't seen him in a while I go what's up dude and he

was wearing a hoodie and he was just basically like he looks me in the eyes and he just goes dude I didn't do it and he was so sincere he goes I did not do it my question to you is this I know people's hearts you I mean it's not like I'm a it's not a talent but it could actually Eric Griffin for instance right Saturday night I wasn't performing good on stage I was going through something afterwards he goes hey man you're alright I'm fine then later that night he texted me if you you want to talk the next day hey man I'm always here for you he's a real friend I really believe that Eric Griffin I know his

heart and I think that I know this I know that he's a good dude right he he could never be president right yeah okay never no one would ever vote for him but but I know that he's a good guy a good person not evil yeah there's some comics that I believe it are evil they just have an evil weird energy and they're hard they're opportunistic and there's something going on and I kind of want to name names I want to yeah I know you so badly so badly want to I'm not going to spit it out but they sell out tickets well that's been narrowed down right narrowed down and they're generally white well okay you still

down to like 95 yeah okay you're so safe I'm still safe that I know that there's certain comics I go if it came out that guy raped 20 women like not like yeah you wouldn't be surprised I would not be surprised no now just based on your one-on-one interactions with them or how you view them from the sidelines it's my one-on-one reaction I mean we're friends I guess I mean we're acquaintances to the point where we have long conversations and yeah I've known some of these guys for many many years but you think that inherently their core is rotten yeah okay and I think yeah we have long conversation yeah we hug but

so your question is what my question is if a friend is accused of something sexual that's bad and they look you in the eyes and they say I swear to God I didn't do it how do you respond to that that is very tough too I I would say this like I'm really sorry that you're going through that dude I hope that you know I hope that justice will prevail justice will prevail and you're being pretty broad about it cuz you justice for the person the the person who's a victim or justice for him either way justice will prevail I think well good that's actually yeah okay like I'm okay Gilbert yeah I'm accused of something okay

and then you I want you to hear what you say no but you you you hear some fucked up things about me yeah fucked up things I've already heard a lot of fucked up I know but like you you you heard that I you know did something really bad XYZ yeah okay you run into me and then I want you to say the prevail justice will prevail right but ask me first go hey hello and then I'll tell and then I'll go I'll do my pitch go ahead you just probably are you wearing a hoodie and a face man hey man Gilbert what's up good yeah we haven't done the podcast in a while I know well um dude I'm telling you right now man you know

all that shit that you've been hearing about in the media and stuff yeah about you sticking a bottle up a girl yeah yeah yeah I know I didn't do that shit man look at me dude I've never why would I do that I don't drink why would I you come on man I didn't do it now give me the line look yeah justice will prevail that sounds really like yeah what ominous yeah that's what I'm saying don't say it like that justice will in a way where you're gonna convince me I thought you want to be just yeah hi I'm super like dude it's so fucking crazy that's going on right now like I'm so sorry that you're

going through this yeah I hope the truth comes out I just told you the truth well we don't know everything oh my god right right right there right that's why I should have just stuck to right already right there tough situation already right there we're done yeah friendship wise yeah because I'm I really didn't do anything yeah and I'm telling you right then do anything and you're like well hopefully it'll come out you know justice will prevail yeah because you told me it's not I know but that's not gonna work you have to do this I believe you but justice will prevail no you have to go yeah dude like

even if you don't you have to go yeah you have to say that now you have to say it but you could there's a ways of doing it like you just want to get out of this situation yes I want to get out okay so this is not really believe me just I like but I like he's my friend yeah so it's like what do you say you got to go also it's not your job to scold him anyways yeah I feel like he's already getting a lot of shit a lot of shit it's not your job to be like dude bro yeah so anything he's whatever you need I'll be here for you kind of what Eric did I wouldn't say that because then he's gonna text you nonstop because you're the

only person that believes him this is what I would say you say something you say that you hey yeah I know I just want this Emmy and all the stuff is coming out about me yeah my past I swear to God it's not true look at me right now dude yeah you swear to fucking God look I'm your friend nothing happened yes yes what yes what nothing happened no why are you laughing I don't want your girlfriends here I thought it's a private she's yeah she's a ninja yeah you didn't see the smoke bomb yeah yeah nothing nothing happened what you know what dude I'm with you man you know okay and then

fast for two weeks later I'm sorry like to you yeah but all I said was I'm with you what does that mean it's just support that's just support that's it that's exactly what I think that's how you say you can be there with someone anyone listening right now man don't take this advice anyone listening right now right if you're in a situation where your friends in trouble just say I'll be with you I'm with you for any situation for any situation Bobby because you're co-signing whatever the fuck they could what does that mean I'm with you I'm with you in spirit with you like you're on board on their side say the same thing

Bobby I'm in a burning building I'm with you see everything everything fine everything is sexual stuff you're a fucking idiot you're a fucking bitch fucking idiot I'm just trying to fucking come up with a solution if people are in this situation look the situation it's simple as go ahead tell me none of the stuff I did was true I'm not if it's true that you're here what you're here on news right now dude I'm really sorry that this is all happening to you and I hope to God what you're telling me is the truth because I hate to see you go through this yeah but I am telling you the truth okay and then that I hope to

God that the rest of the world like the details will come out and I hope to God that they can see that this is so do you believe me oh that's a better question do you believe me no okay you're no longer my top 10 my top 10 fucking my first friends yeah so you brought it back you're out you're out of that top 10 ask me again do you believe my woman though no you're my just hold me a dude you're ninja you believe me look dude I don't know what I believe that a lot of these things are happening everywhere fuck you it's a tricky one it's a tricky one it is the believe it I know who you are live 15 is it better than this lie

yeah yeah yeah just lie everyone you go I believe you lie the way that's why at the end of the day that's what we're trying to teach it's a real it's a real it's a real touchy it's a touchy thing I didn't know what to say to this guy so just go yeah I'm with you what I said I I think I said I believe you took a sandwich and ran yeah yeah but it's it's tough you don't believe him I don't know yeah I think that it's okay you can know somebody's heart and I've said this before but the heart and the dick are two completely separate things and what somebody does when they're trying to get the hearts inside your

body the dicks outside yeah two different things of course they are yeah but I mean look sights alert the heart is not inside your heart yeah well he his is kind of yeah no it's not as a casing like a sausage case it was fat yeah when I was better it was just like the no really yeah because when your fat covers the I mean that's not really it doesn't make it an interior now I was in there you know fallas as a clip I I I I kind of want to talk about one of the episodes of black mirror just the premise can we just talk about one premise we as long as you say tell us what episode you'd say spoiler alert so

people can spoiler alert spoiler alert episodes called crocodile it's the third one okay I'm only gonna talk about the first scene the murder yeah no it's not a murder you know it's not a murder it's two people in the car oh yeah that the right right you and I are in a car yeah we just partied so we're a little drunk yeah from the up front right and we're in the middle of like the desert or whatever where they were they were at a canyon mountain side no cars or no one around by themselves they hit a bicyclist he dies they put the bicyclist body in a sleeping bag they put rocks in it and they just throw it in the ocean

right you call the police right well they were afraid that because they were both yeah I know that's what I'm saying you and I are drugged out that that's manslaughter what would you do me in that situation I already know myself I would just turn myself in yeah me too because that's too much shit to go through also just mentally but if you was an elite let me ask you this I'm gonna be very I want you to be very political about sex with a monkey in Korea move on next question next question what if it was your desert you're still in America you're in New Mexico okay love that and you run over an illegal immigrant

yeah what I am you're drunk I have a solution I have an answer to that that's much better scenario because then if I'm able to track down his family it's not like they can sue in America I'm just gonna provide for the family for the rest of my life so you hide the I Thomas Shelby it if I kill your family member yes I'm going to make sure that they're all taken care of for the rest of their lives so you bury the body you don't go to the police but you find his identification I don't bury the body I give the body back to the family hey dude I killed you wait no the cook that he crossed the border that's what she's

saying right he's now in America right yeah you're drunk in New Mexico I'm driving that body back to Mexico I'm getting other people to help me do you know this man I'm not gonna say I killed him to everybody but I don't know okay if it's just internal I know Raul I have to find Raul's family I wouldn't turn myself in to American authorities I would not if it wasn't an illegal immigrant I would I'm trying to think of the most beneficial way that the family could benefit the most right yeah me going to prison will not benefit them because they don't have a slice of my pie I want to give him my pie because I

fucking killed their family member and I want to make I want to pay my dues I want to say I'm sorry in ways that's going to improve their life I know what I would do I just thought of it this is even better if I had money I would mummify his body great listen listen listen listen I want to hear my story hear me out right good mummify his body right right have to do and then you have him like in positions in your backyard like he's cutting trees good okay we're mowing the lawn right right and you stick photo and have him have him background right yeah and then you keep that you you know you send his money you

write a letter you know do you know yeah yeah Maria yeah Maria yeah Maria I'm working so hard you know me for you know Mr. Lee's estate you know I can but I have sent you you know I mean and he's just a guy right put him in the background if you can't really see you know put gloves on him and do you have any consequences from this no he's he's gonna be she's gonna get a lot of money okay trust me I'm talking like Donald Trump now all right believe me it's gonna be amazing yes we amazing he's she's gonna get a bunch of money it's just Rahul is always gonna be the provider not a good idea I will

also give you know that's kind of like what that's like the dark night when they killed Harvey Dent was bad they just said oh bet he was the good guy so the people always perceive him as the good guy that's what I'm saying you she would benefit I think the family would benefit more I mean the loss of role what if the family wants Hustesia what's that justice and they're like no I don't want the money justice will you killed my you know I but he's not good they're not gonna know he died he works for me oh he there's he there's proof that's him on the roof you mean doing the shingles you know I will never move yeah yeah all

the videos are just standing still or I would like green screeners fit I don't figure it out man you go deep I'll get a lemon momify that's my oh shit I killed someone let's mummify the body yeah yeah figure it out later we'll figure it out if you ever hear about the guy the guy that mummified his daughter his daughter died and he mummified her like what do you call it taxidermy that's what I would do I would mum I would taxidermy the illegally immigrant you wouldn't mummify cuz yeah I would test that taxidermy but he I guess maybe this urban legend I don't know but um he has her in a red dress and with a balloon

and she's just sitting there in the living room standing there in the living room I think there's a health code that people have to follow in America is that legal I just what I'm saying like I don't know I know that obviously taxidermy is like legal but taxidermy like there's health codes you have to follow and you have to like you have to get rid of a body in a certain way that is legal I don't know if taxidermy is one of them because I feel like more people would do it if that was the case if it was I don't think anyone did it's creepy I would please taxidermy me I talked about this before I want you to mount me on the

wall so my cats can see me every day and say oh mom's still home you know what my ideas what it's the best you put me in a tuxedo I know but get me one and this is what I want you to do okay you put me in a gigantic jar of formaldehyde okay so I'm just floating a specimen I'm floating and then you have me in like a cathedral people can walk into this little like it's a good just a little chamber right a stone chamber you walk in in the middle of this chamber is gigantic jar with me floating there in there put a smile on my face if you can yeah and underneath my body like outside of this jar is a mechanism we it says

people's names so it'll say Gilbert George whatever you press on it and I go what's up George oh like your name you customize it could be extra money no you put 1800 names the people that you know everyone that you know even people that I can never get a what's up Kalyla then because it's not even programmed into the system no he was no I do my no I do before I die okay before I die I customize all the I'll do his sentences yeah don't let the sun fall down or whatever this will prevail yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll just have yeah you there's funny raises then you would just see me floating in this in this jar oh my gosh

pretty cool just donate your body to the the human exhibit the bottom no I want people specifically to come see me I want strangers oh you in fact if you're not in the fucking buttons you can't come you can't come better hope your name is either George Kalyla or Gilbert yeah three names there'll be a list but um you think oh no it's your story I'm just look if anything happens to you yeah I have to send this audio to court and be like look this is what he wanted yeah we have video tonight can I be in a jar of fucking formaldehyde I think if it if it were like a science experiment there's probably a loophole to where they because

they do that with the with the body exhibit they keep they put real bodies there they put real like babies that have died and things like that so we're free to freeze my brain I just download your your memories I have a question speak download would you guys if you select consciousness would you be okay with someone downloading a digital copy of yourself no had to live in this trap digital world no I watch episode six okay I am scarred for life yeah about where my consciousness goes after this but you put my consciousness in an android oh please they put your consciousness in Kalyla like I will

have stipulations so if you collect my consciousness it has to be and it has to be put into a vessel that has all the Spanish dick I'm gonna see oh my god now oh that I need to have I need to have my vessel have full capacity what nothing he's talking about if you was a conscious I only had like one no no if his conscious was in your head and like he died and then you moved on with your life that he would have to he'd be in your head talked about this we watch episode I would never have him no way I would only do it I would only do it if she didn't know oh hell so I would never say anything I would just kick back and

watch this movie this long yeah we're like hiking again Kalyla and then she's in the ocean trying to look cat capture lobsters is not gonna get and then everyone else you'll see Australian and Spanish dick specifically Australian yeah and then I would I let me say if I'm in her mind and she's sucking dick do I taste it too yes no no thank you there's no way I feel like it would be like you would consider that a gift but then every night and every night you see her open up a diary and has your face in it and she sheds a tear no I doubt it I think she's gonna fucking forget about me and

that's a sad truth I love how you say that and I'm really good for kids this year we will have been together for five years five year he Bobby has had my firm skin years you better fucking I know take it all in now because it's all downhill from here we got our wet feet I know I'm going in the gym after I've never been in a relationship this long oh also a message to everyone listening hi I've been playing Battlefront Star Wars Star Wars and I need people to play with hey we have not talked about the Krasogis

brothers oh shit talk about God lobs we talked about God let me say something right now guys let's let's get into what so I started googling things on YouTube I've been googling crazy Christians interesting Google I do I love like I like watching people you know going to speak in tongues or when you know kids they get possessed in the middle of street and that you know what's the documentary we like Jesus camp Jesus camp yeah yeah is it with kids in camp being like indoctrinated are you ever see a hell house yes I have what's hell hell house is a church in Texas in every year they do a haunted house but

it's people giving abortions and the Satan oh yeah you told me this okay but the people actually auditioned for the parts of like actors pregnant girl who's about to get an abortion and the drug addict guy yeah it's a big deal in this town and at the end of this haunted house you can go into a room and there's an actual like you know a pastor there or whatever and it's a pastor not pastor you have a pastor I say I come past your pastor raised Christians and they um they try to you know you can convert right then and there really yeah so if I'm just a layman and I'm not like if I'm basically an atheist well their goal

is that the the haunted house is gonna scare you enough to go I want to be a Christian it's a conversion house then it's basically what it is yeah is it like a gay room then yes yeah there's a gay room that's like so they do a whole like play basically of there's an AIDS guy yeah yeah this is true it's true they have based all the abominations yeah are played out in and by actors who are really into it and when they get the part I mean you should see it's like they want they got a scorsese movie exactly well they're like method yeah no they're like like they it's like they're it's a life altering yeah I'm working with

the narrow oh that that kind of excitement yeah which is you know you got nothing you absolutely got nothing it's called hell house and you guys should watch but anyway so I've been googling and stuff like that and I ran into a jam guys the Chris August brothers there's these two twins called Chris August you guys have to look them up you also have to follow them on YouTube let me spell it for you yeah see HR is a GIS Chris August brothers okay put a link you gotta listen to they do these like local like church TV shows and they sing and they do sketches now they're sketches I'm gonna make you watch a sketch after this

okay both of you okay number one they're 15 minutes long okay that's already to okay number two there's they did this you gotta check it out at listening if you're listening they do a ventriloquist sketch it's them it's so unfunny and annoying that I've seen it 80 times that you keep watching it I cannot stop watching it he cannot I mean I love it I I study scenes and line reading line readings in there yeah all their songs I know their songs I love it how many followers they have so on YouTube they have what is that good no how did you find a channel that's so small that's what like a surprise how many

the subscribers do we have 77,000 70 and that's like 80,000 yeah that's not that good I know compared to like people who have like that's better than them but these two okay but there's also an interview they do about you know how they became Christians and I laughed out fucking loud what was the basic they're like so the doctor told my mom not to have babies because she has a disease but she had them anyway and my brother and I were born and we are allergic to 800 things no including the Sun including the Sun which is a real thing for some guys who yeah yeah except they're the tannest people yeah I know but listen in fact we if the if the Sun hit our skin we would instantly die okay right in seven years they lived like in a dark room right

the hell house right and then her mom went to a healer a Christian healer they did a prayer and now they're just now they're on sun tanning on the beach I mean you know it's it's doctors couldn't do anything but the healer could yeah so now they are stuck in the 70s with they had like that it's they're the they basically what they are are Abba Abba that's what a gay abba is perfect but now and also they're gay they're obviously gay they're very flamboyant no they're gay I think they're they suck dick they have to suck dick yeah it but behind Jesus is back it doesn't look it doesn't like it but maybe they're the

types of Christians that like accept homosexuality they're not they're not there they belong to club 36 they do these real staunch staunch you know born again Christian mm-hmm they're hardcore yeah hardcore yeah and they believe in the Lord mm-hmm but you guys have to check them out and please let's blow them up yeah we're gonna blow them up I I genuinely think someone should make a movie or a show based on these two brothers I really do that's actually good like even a HBO or so it's so it's so loony it's so it's so cruel weird but um I love you guys and I think that we should have Gilbert we're ready for the

question yeah well we've done enough yeah we're good we're on 50 wait hold on we're right on 50 we're a little over 50 but like including this is very this is very okay okay there's no other stuff I don't you're talking about oh they're right you mean that for 30 minutes we cut out I don't think everyone listen listen right now I'm just gonna say it every episode now we're cutting out 30 minutes because they get people cry we record for three hours essentially yeah yeah I mean it's it gets fucking crazy what happened was I don't want to talk about it but what happened was I had a emotional meltdown yeah but I said some

wrong things again I just see things I say things I don't know why but my gut says it say it when I know it's not right and I say it and it's chaos anyway what's our best we try our best what is it what is it on helpful bars with Bobby and Kalilah hello beautiful tiger belly fam I'm a huge fan of the podcast and love how funny and sightful and honest you all are including the guests I'm 22 years old and my hairline has been receding since I was 20 I've been shaving my head since and embraced the mr. clean look early on yet I've been recently feeling insecure about it and I'm in university not many guys my age

are going through the same thing part of me realizes that I should look at this as a sign of morality and pursue more or mortality and pursue my goals the other half wants to save up money for a SMP scalp micro pigmentation head tattoos just for a couple of years until I'm old enough where it's a common thing I'm clearly on the fence I'd love to hear what you have to say peace from the Middle East Khalid so he's 20 no hair I'm secure I think I think I'm balding from a female's perspective 20 20 I've never found balding guys to be unattractive as a matter of fact I love the under August you look me too it's

pretty cool I like it I think that it's so there's something distinguished about it it is a little tricky though when they're that young but you're not gonna be 20 forever so by the time you hit 30 and you're well into your man's stride trust me like females find you just as attractive the the the the fickle petty ones the ones who don't like receding hairlines those are the ones you don't want to end up with anyways because they're fucking superficial so also I can't wait to look get have that look I can wait I'm gonna grow no I'm gonna bald but I'm gonna grow my hair off on the sides so it has this like wizardy

look you know and I'm gonna wear like those like Dr. Strange glove glasses yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna wear open Hawaiian shirts I have a look set out for every era oh wow yeah and when I'm 80 I will look it's gonna be great but if you I wouldn't get the search I would probably just go ahead and save money for the surgery if that's what you really want like Bobby wants a beard and one day he's gonna get a beard your transplants yeah and also when I'm like 80 and I'm like I think acting's over I'm gonna get facial tattoos yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna get tattoos on my face I think I'm gonna have like five teardrops even though

never killed anybody yeah just just to have them don't you want to know like go through a mall and go and have see people look at the teardrops and have them be scared what else would you get I would probably do something like maybe my own my little pony tattoo I don't know something weird can you microblade your eyebrows oh no well you know what I would keep my eyes this squinty but put another eye around yeah so it just looks like yeah I'm gonna make my actual eye I don't know I'll figure it out so to this guy if you can hold out and learn to like accept it and be confident with it I promise you that women

still find balding men attractive but if you can't and you know getting hair plugs is something that's gonna make boost your confidence then do that but don't get the tattoo I think those look silly on the head when you're 80 the bald head on the bald head I don't like the look and I can tell for some reason no matter how good they are Andre Agassi clean yeah go Andre Agassi it's cute it's sexy yeah so yeah get the surgery don't do it whatever yeah yeah you're you've already tuned out we've really quick MMA minute because we didn't talk about this fighter a month years ago Doho Choi is fighting this we're going to

have Jeremy Stevens well I'm do who to you just put on that performance that you did with the last one because I think he's gonna win do who but me too to who's a warrior but so is Jeremy Steve it's gonna be everybody do who I mean was when it was Saturday Sunday for free Sunday for free I can't wait do who do who they need a Korean superstar we're gonna have we're gonna we're gonna have a superstar on this podcast soon MMA no we're gonna get a good guest okay cool let's plan on it let's just not announce it we have but we I'm just letting and just letting you guys know that I'm working on a big one Joe Biden

Joe Biden yeah can we get Joe Biden there's no way he do it although I feel like he would Joe Biden would be probably sure I'll do is weird okay this is I feel like he would love to get things off his chest yeah yeah I imagine being like you know in a world where you just cannot say what you want to say come to Tiger belly you can unload here this is a place for you any shows oh yeah I do I need Bobby will be in San Jose this weekend you guys have to come because it's like it's I need help please support Papa Jose yeah they have a new management there it's a little weird and then I'm in Chicago soon too at

Schomburg yes Schomburg February 12th weekend and then after that it's Irvine oh and then and then after that you do you have one in Addison improv in Texas and then Arlington Virginia the draft house I love the draft house that's great God bless you take care good night God love for more dates go to Bobby Lee live calm and don't forget to get your $30 off for a blue waiver comm slash belly and for the reminder to everybody out there if you want to have a business and you want to sponsor the podcast shoot us an email at the tiger belly at gmail.com attention George or sponsor and let us know what you have make sure if

it's something we feel that we like and want to toss out to the fans will take a look at it take a look at it thank you cool make sure you follow us on Instagram at tiger belly on Twitter at the tiger belly and like George said emails any questions or sponsor pitches to the tiger belly at gmail.com you can follow George on all social media at George underscore Kimmel Instagram well he's sick so that was weird yeah and you can follow Collab in all social media at calamity K and guys look out this year 2018 for some more merch and possibly another live show secret fans show I'm gonna put it out there so we have to do

it now yeah see you and also go to our website there's still some sticker packs sticker packs are still available so teachers are sold out so next run we'll be soon but see you guys next week bye hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey