TigerBelly - Episode 129: Joe Jitsukawa has Lazer Eyes
Episode Date: February 14, 2018Joe and Bobby have one night in Vegas. We talk bathroom line etiquette, fathers on the run, joysticks, and Geraldine’s.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy... Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello, welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly
my name my name is Eleanor G. Rick Mongla. Eleanor G. Rick Mongla. Yes. Hello. Hello. How was your day at the factory? What factory motherfucker? I thought you were selling today? Oh, yes, I was selling at the factory. And we were making this quilt made out of foot foot. Is it that foot? Okay. Can I just say something? Yeah. I haven't slept in like two days. I haven't slept like two days.
So this is going to go real crazy because because I know you know what? I want to do a good job too because we have such a good guest. Oh, damn. I'm frightened. I'm frightened of what I might do and what I might say. Do the top countdown again. I got to start over.
Five, four, three, two, one. Hello. My name is Robert McNorrell. Hello. We've got George in the house. We've got Coli. Oh, fuck you, Mike.
We've got Coli. We've got Gilbert. We've got Bryce. Bryce who wants to fuck my girlfriend. No. You've got those fuck eyes. You've got fuck eyes all the time. He hasn't had fuck eyes today. I'm telling you right now, Bryce, out of all the dudes, you're probably going to be the one. I would be okay with it. The one to what?
No, just to pursue it. You're not going to give it to him. I know. Oh, I thought you meant the one that you sell her to. You're punning me off. If human slavery was in and it wasn't illegal, I would sell her to you. For a lot of money, for like 100 bucks.
Because he's like, that's a lot. That's a lot of money. That's a whole bill. That's a whole bill. You know what I mean? You're worth it, babe. You're worth it. Yeah. But our guest tonight from Just Kidding Films, Joe Chizukawa.
Yeah. Thank you for having me, Bobby. Joe Joe. Finally. Well, you know, we got the two more important people from Just Kidding Films out of the way.
I'm the most important one. Listen, man. We got Barkhwan out of the way, Giovanni. They're the leaders and they're the main ones. They're my side bitches.
But we decided to, you know, just kind of clean up and get to like the back people. They'll be head extras. Okay. David's so four times. We have had David.
David's so three times. He's one of the main guys too. Even on our live shows. Yeah. No, Joe, you've been, I'm telling you right now, you're the number one.
And I don't know why the fuck. Did you just fart? What was that? That's awesome. I do that all the time. I get in trouble.
But the thing is, is that you've always been the number one. But I don't know, like whoever fucking poked it, you're like, Gio's coming. Who's Gio?
And then she shows up and I'm like, what the fuck? Barkhwan's coming. I don't know that fool. You texted Bart. Oh yeah, that's right.
I don't know. That's right. But Gio Chitagawa. When I was in France and then you had Bart on the show, my heart ripped apart.
I was sad, dude. Why? Because I actually listened to Tiger Belly. I know. Those fools are, I know. They don't even care. They don't. I'm just backstabbing right now.
I know. But they are, they're fakers. And I can tell by them. They're not real people. When they you talk to them. They're real. You can't say.
Oh, now look what you did. Yeah, I can't. I can't. You can't do it, can you? I can't. I can't. I love them too much. Oh, I can't.
They called me to test you. Oh, really? Yeah. Shit. They called me to test you and you passed the test. You're a true friend.
And can I also, you know why I like you? You're, you know, every Asian, there's like two types. Yeah. There's regular and this is my favorite type, cross-eyed.
You're my favorite cross-eyed Asian guy. You, you know who else has it? Jamie Chung a little bit. You know Jamie Chung, the actress. He has a little bit of cross-eyed.
I do too. You have a little cross-eyed. Really? I love cross-eyed. That's awesome. Because it means you're a little retarded. It means that you, there's a little bit of something missing.
Not a little bit, a lot of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And out of all the just kidding people, I think that you are the most similar to me.
I'd say so. People have said that you are my future. That's not good for you. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard of my life.
How the fuck does that feel good? It makes me feel awesome. This is what you want? This piece of shit? Yeah.
You have awesome friends, beautiful girlfriends, two dogs. They don't like me. They bite him all the time.
I generally, I generally, you know, I think the only one that in this world that really, I think vaguely loves me deeply is Kaleila.
I think my parents, I think my parents love me kind of. Steve loves, relies, you know, Kaleila loves. Intensely. Intense, well, okay.
I think Gilbert, he's off and on, you know. I think George, I don't know where. I think he secretly hates me.
I think he secretly hates me. Bryce. I don't give a fuck what Bryce says. But my point is that you don't want to be me, man.
You want to be you and you have a brighter future than me. I really do. Okay, because it's at the end of the road for me, my friend.
Really? No, it's not. I think you're just getting started. No, I might, my neck hurts. I've been having a lot of diarrhea.
I had to take a modium AD at the airport again. Oh, shit. In Chicago. Oh my God, there was eight. What happened?
I was with Jade Ketteprotham and we got there a little early and we went to this like Italian breakfast place and they had these little sausages and I ate one and I could hear my story.
Like, you know, you know, the party's starting. Oh, yeah. People are arriving. You know what I mean? There's like, you know, DJ. Yeah. Music going on.
Yeah. People dancing. Yeah. And I gotta go. So I go to the bathroom. It was one of those things like I had to go right down in there.
And then there was a line to the toilets. Like eight dudes were leaning against a wall. Oh, no. These guys, white people take the longest shits. Yeah.
They read. Right. They read. Taxes. They listen to music. I don't know what they do with them. They do taxes. Yeah, yeah.
They want to get, I think they want to get, how long does it take you to shit?
Oh, it depends. Usually it's pretty fast. Do you wash or just wipe?
I use those wet wipes now. But at the airport, you will use wet wipes? Oh, no, no. I wish I carried them though.
I know me too. I wish I had them on me too. But you don't fucking have them on you. No, I don't.
I wish I had a lot of things when I'm taking a shit at the airport. But like, how long? Do you just give me a thing?
Five to 10 minutes. 10 minutes is like a really relaxed time. Baby, these people, 20, 30 minutes. No.
And they would come out with a little briefcase and they would do their tie. But that's how you get.
They take everything off too. I go, what did you unload in there? Yeah, but that's how you get boot-boot. Hammeroids?
Wait, what? How the fuck did you know what boot-boot is, bro?
It's context. Yeah, it is. So you get boot-boot. Boot-boot is, you know, the Christmas relief in your butt.
They're pushing too hard, yes. Yeah, holiday relief.
So after you do a flush, you knew that someone was going to come out and some other person was going to get a stall.
So the line got shorter. But dude, it was like, just breathe as long as you're breathing.
And when I finally get in there and I timed it, three minutes. See, efficient.
Yeah. I just get it all in three minutes. I should time it.
But only that is, I know that there's a line. So you're like, you know, that's a part of it.
It's not like, yeah, it's my time now. Now they're going to wait. Like, white people are selfish.
You know what I'm thinking, dude? It's like, I should shit really quickly because I know how they're going to be like, cool.
Right? Yeah. Like you, George. I'm tired of people like you.
If I have to stay in line, I'm taking my time. You look like you take your time at the shitter.
You look like a selfish white guy.
Are you married? No. You got a girlfriend though. Yeah. Who is it?
Jessica. I showed her a picture. Very.
Or the white girl. Yeah. And you're like, you're not going to get any better than this.
And I'm like, that's probably true because she's awesome. She takes long shit.
How long have you been together? About three years.
But going back to the shit thing though, that's another thing that we connect on. I have IBS too.
Oh, it's IBS. The Bileson Syndrome.
How do you know that I have it? Because it sounds like it.
Well, pretty much. Is it like that all the time? You have to shit really bad? Urgency?
Yeah, at least twice or three times a month.
Wait, you shit three times a month? No, there's an emergency.
An urgent one, an urgent shit. You right? Oh, yeah.
It used to be pretty bad for me. Like every morning.
Well, you died better? Yeah. And I work out now. And I got I got a lot better.
But it was like every morning and I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes too.
So like the first thing I did was smoke and then diary all over the place.
It's been seven months. I haven't smoked. Oh, really? Yeah.
Because I remember you told me when you were quitting drugs and all that stuff,
you're like, talk to me when you want to, you know, fix yourself and do all that stuff.
And I was like, oh, that's awesome, man. Fix yourself.
Yeah. I was like, you're awesome, Bobby. No one's ever said that to me.
Hit that guy anymore. Hit come to me. Oh, you know, you're like, I'm a stranger.
Well, I never asked you that. Yeah, I'm a destroyer.
Yeah, but the thought was awesome. The thought was awesome.
Because I did a lot of drugs. What kind of drugs?
I did a lot of E. I smoked a lot of weed. I've smoked rock a couple of times.
I probably did every single drug, no, no, man, except for heroin and drugs.
But just in like a party, party level, right?
No, I mean, it got to the point where like I just do it by myself at home too.
So that was like from 14 to maybe 21.
Wow, you're so much like me.
My God. You started young like him. Yeah.
Yeah. When was your first cigarette?
Oh, I was about to say 11, 12.
Oh, yeah. Around there, 12. Yeah, yeah.
You and I are very similar in many ways.
That's crazy, man. We kind of look similar.
There was this, Bart took this picture of you and me side to side when I gained weight and then I was doing this pose.
Back up that story. Let's get details out there.
I used to be really skinny. That's why.
No, no, no. When you gained weight, you said.
Wait, wait, wait. When you gained weight is when you started looking like that.
No, that's to be blunt.
Because you have a belly. I never had a belly before.
Just say fat. It's fine.
I don't want to be called that. I get hurt.
Well, okay.
So when I was, when you were fat, you looked like me and Bart took a photo.
And then he put your photo and my photo together and then he, yeah, he was like, oh, it looks like you guys are brothers.
And I'm like, that's actually kind of cool.
Oh, wow. That feels good.
Fat Joe.
Let me ask you something. Who started just kidding news? I mean, guess just kidding film.
Well, yeah. In 2007, I started making YouTube videos and then Bart was like, all right, I'm going to make one too.
And then we started battling it out and I was like, let's just create a channel together.
It was just me and Bart at the very beginning.
Cool. Yeah.
And then what happened? Who joined after that?
About three years later, Bart was dating Gio and then Gio came in and started helping us out.
Right. And then when did Gina come in?
Well, Gina is really not officially JK. She's kind of like an extended family member.
Who's the real core then?
You, Bart.
Casey came in next.
Which one's Casey?
Casey is Tiffany's boyfriend. I don't think you've met him yet.
I've never met that fool.
Husband.
I've been around him for so long.
Oh, yeah. Tiffany is Mexican.
Yes, yes.
And she is Asian.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's talk about your girl though. She's white.
Yes.
Is that your first white girlfriend?
No, but first really serious live together kind.
So you generally only date white chicks?
No. No, no, no. I've generally dated Asian girls like 90%.
Is it feel different when you're dating a white girl?
100%, like the cultural things that we go through.
I mean, she's also from Texas and from a small town.
So she's not from LA.
Yeah, I dated a girl from Louisville, Kentucky.
Yes.
It's weird.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's cultural.
Yeah, there's a lot of things that I found out about myself like, oh man, I'm an old Japanese dad, dude.
I didn't know that.
I had no idea.
Yeah, why?
You know, it's just, I don't know how to explain myself.
I don't know how to debate.
I don't know how to think logically sometimes.
I'm just, I go straight into like, no, you got to listen because you got to listen.
And I'm just like, why do I do that?
I hate that.
I want to think clearly, you know?
I want to be better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you're a man, you know.
Do you do that too, Bobby?
Yeah, but you know what?
You got to adapt.
You got to change, you know?
Yeah.
So you're 100% Japanese?
Yes.
And are Japanese parents, compare Japanese parents versus Korean parents growing up?
Why do you oppress us, dude?
Yeah, why you got to oppress people?
Yeah, why did your people oppress Korea?
I have a lot of Japanese-American family members that were in the military in the U.S.
But also on the other side too.
On both sides.
What I'm talking about.
On both sides.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I have family members who are part of the U.S. military during World War II.
No.
As well as family members that were in Japan.
When there were World War II, family members were in Japan.
There was Japanese people here.
You know, there was Japanese internment, all that stuff.
There were Japanese in America.
They were in the military.
Yeah.
Have you heard of the 442nd?
Oh yeah, I saw the movie.
It's the highest decorated U.S. military unit with the most purple hearts and all that.
It's a Japanese-American unit.
Whoa.
And there were Koreans in there too.
Oh.
Two.
There's got to be two.
No, there were a few Koreans, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Were they treated like shit though?
You know the names that they would say probably?
Yo, Hop Singh, get in the plane.
You know what I mean?
I imagine, because the races that we experience now.
Imagine what it was back then.
Yeah.
Hey, Ching Chung.
Yeah.
Ching Chung, Ching Chung, Ching Chung.
Right?
And they're like, dude, you know, we're on the same team.
Yeah, I know Ching Chung, Ching Chung.
It's like, oh my God.
Because imagine what African-Americans went through and whatnot.
Imagine the few, the 10 or 15 or 20, you know, Asian dudes that were in the American
military in World War II.
Yeah.
The fucking kind of bullshit that.
I mean, that's why the Chinese and Koreans had to go to the Japanese unit because they
were being treated like, you know, a bunch of Japanese scoundrels.
Whoa, really?
How do you know so much?
I love history, man.
Weren't you in the military?
No, Bart was.
Bart was in the military.
This guy in the military?
That's hilarious.
I believe it.
I don't, man.
No.
They don't have cross eyes.
So back to Japanese versus Korean parenting.
What do you think are the differences?
What were your parents like?
You know what's crazy?
I mean, I grew up with a lot of Koreans and going to their house and just seeing how everything
operates.
I think we're the closest from all the other Asians.
Like, you know, it's just the way that it's kind of like a dictatorship, you know, and
especially if like your parents are just got anger problems and they're just always yelling
for no reason.
And I don't know, it's weird.
But I think I see it in the Korean home too.
It's really similar.
I mean, the things that you would, your life is constantly threatened.
Like in Korean, they say, you know, if I translated it would be, this is what you would hear.
Clean your room or you're going to die.
You're like six, you know?
I'm going to kill you and throw you away.
Like that's the kind of language that Asian Korean parents used.
You know, my dad was so fucking scary there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
And he would just, he would take, I remember one time we were eating and he fucking flipped
the fucking food.
All the food hit the ceiling, right?
And he chased everyone through the, and he caught everyone and like he fucking beat the shit
out of them.
Yeah.
Why are you laughing?
No, no, no.
And that's why God gave him a stroke.
Oh my God, Bobby.
No, it's too much.
Too far.
That was too far.
Dad, I love you.
I understand.
And speedy recovery to you.
I understand that feeling though.
Sometimes, because I told my dad, I was like, you keep beating me.
Just wait till I become the same size as you.
I'm going to fuck you up.
And he beat me even harder.
How old were you?
I was about 11 or 10.
You talked back.
Yeah, no, because I mean, at that age, you're growing, right?
And you're like, just a couple more years.
Just watch, fool.
Just watch.
My brother.
Did you ever square up to him as an adult?
No, because he ran away when I was 14.
So at that time it was like...
Your dad ran away?
Yeah, I can't get revenge.
Oh, your dad left you guys?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh, that's so sad.
So I never had the revenge that I wanted.
And so you don't have a relationship with your dad now?
No.
He's somewhere in West LA or something.
People told me...
Wait, he's here?
He's somewhere.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
What's his name?
I can't say.
I don't want people to find him.
So he just took off.
Basically, he left you with him.
Stop.
No, stop.
He's Japanese.
Okay.
This isn't...
He's Japanese.
Yes.
He lives in West LA.
Okay.
And he vaguely looks like you, but older.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to find him.
Okay.
And I'm going to have a conversation.
Send us sketches.
Any older Japanese dude in his 50s.
You're going to start talking.
Hey!
You know Joe?
What's your last name, sir?
He goes Chitokawa.
Right?
Who you fucking motherfuckered, Leo?
You left him.
Yeah.
Who else?
Do you have brothers and sisters?
I have an older brother.
Yeah.
Oh my God, that must have been so painful.
Yeah.
When you left.
Or was it a relief for you?
For what?
I mean, like you said that you had a...
Oh, I thought you meant my brother.
No, no, no.
A contentious relationship with your dad.
Yeah, it was.
It made my relationship with my mom stronger.
So when people go, oh, he left.
It was like, well, it's actually better because there was no more violence.
And then me and my mom started bonding better.
We, you know, we did what we had to, to like make ends meet.
And through that struggle, I think it got really good.
And this is why I always, you know, tell my friends who are going through either a divorce
or like contemplating it, but they say, no, we have to stay together because of the kids.
And I'm like, that's not healthy for children to see toxic relationships or like abusive
relationships either.
It's better that you part ways and they live in two healthy households versus, or one healthy
household versus, you know, a family that stays together that just fucking, you know...
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
I just want to give a hug right now.
I really feel so sad.
He's a cool man.
He's very emotionally all over the place.
No, it makes me so sad that he loved you when you were like...
I'm being real.
He just said it was better for all of us.
I know, but it just makes me so angry.
Let me ask you this.
You don't ever want to see him?
No, not really.
Maybe, but I made it.
I made closure.
How?
How and when?
I think it took many, many years because there was a lot of resentment and a lot of these
feelings of like, man, I wish I had a...
Like I would see other people's dads and then be like, man, your dad takes care of you.
Your dad loves you.
He sits you down.
He talks to you.
He gives you life advice, all that stuff.
I didn't have that.
I had to learn a lot on my own, but I started creating father figures from my friend's dad
from my uncle.
Like right here, right?
And Bobby.
Yeah.
Right here, dude.
I look up to your dad, really, to be honest with you.
I raised you, bro.
You know his real last name?
Bobby's real last name.
Yeah.
What if it was?
Oh my God.
What if it was him?
No, you would know.
You would know, right?
You would know.
That would be nice.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What I want to know is this.
How do you have two sons, raise them until they're in their teenage years, and then
just leave and then not want to see them again?
My brother's 12 years older than me.
So he was like, wait.
Yeah.
So how does that, how do you, how do you do that as a human being?
Well, going back to the closure thing, what I realized is that my dad never really had
a father either.
He was, you know, born to a really rich CEO, my grandpa, that just popped him out and then
his mom died during giving childbirth.
So at that time, yeah, and then he had like 10 brothers and sisters because you know that
time everyone had a bunch of kids, right?
So my grandpa would just have him being taken care of by all these other people.
So he was just being passed around.
So he never understood, he never understood like a real family unit either.
He doesn't.
He was explaining to me like, you know, we should have sympathy for the guy because he
grew up really shitty.
So he did better than his own situation.
And that's all we got to look forward to.
I mean.
Yeah.
But do you ever wonder like, what if he started, what do you feel like half siblings or what
if he's like started another family would say?
That would be insane.
But I'm glad I'm with a white girl because I'm not going to be fucking my sister.
I don't buy, I don't buy what you just said, man.
I'll tell you another story.
I'm going to hear it.
What part didn't you buy?
Well, I'll just buy that.
Oh, well, he should have sympathy because he didn't have, you know, you know, his upbringing
in this and that.
The man needs closure.
That was it.
I know.
I'm going to just tell you.
No, you can pick at it.
Go ahead.
There was a kid, right?
His dad left him when he was like, what?
A kid, right?
His mom, a southern mom raised him.
And he had really just, he was lost, he smoked pot, this and that.
And then he went to college and then he went to Harvard, you know, law school and he became
the president of the United States.
Obama.
Obama.
I mean, you know what I mean?
I mean, you could, you could take his story and go, whoa, you know, his dad was, you know,
he was an around, he was an asshole.
And then he went, no, I'm going to be there for my kids.
I'm going to be the president of the United States.
You know?
I'm not going to buy that shit.
Well, I'm going to be.
You know what I mean?
He's going to be a great.
Yeah.
I'm not going to make the same mistake.
No, but he didn't.
Your dad, your dad, right, had those circumstances and I'm not going to be a man and I'm not
going to fucking fulfill my obligation.
Plus, how do you not have a love for a kid?
This fucking piece of shit dog right here, this Remi, just listen to me, right?
A month and a half ago, she's like, oh, it's just going to, we're just going to dog, you
know, do a dog rescue.
Yeah.
I have this piece of shit right here.
I fucking love this dog now, like it's an extension of myself.
You know why?
Because I have a heart, you know, and I, there, you know, regardless of all the abuse that
I felt, regardless of just all the broken relationships and the sad things that happened
to Bobby Lee, poor me, right?
At the end of the day, I have love in my heart.
I do.
I have, when I see things on TV that's sad, I cry.
I can't, you know, what the fuck are you doing right now?
Nothing.
He just, he's, he's giving me, no, no, no, what the fuck are you doing right now, man?
Yeah, I understand that, right?
Middle.
But there's a time and place, bro.
I know he's having a moment.
I was in a fucking moment right now, dude, and you fucked it up, George.
You got up in the middle of the movie, but today, you know what, George, today, right,
we had in the house, right, because we're doing this thing for Theo Vaughn.
We had Jordy, one of the executives at Comedy Central, right?
We had a bunch of fucking people in the house, right?
And I'm like, this guy, George, this guy, George, he's the best.
He wants to do what you want to do.
I've been telling you, talking about you the whole day, and that's the kind of shit you
fucking pull, dude.
Do you fucking believe this shit?
Shut up, right?
You saw it, right?
Oh my God.
I was in a fucking thing, dude.
You got to check yourself about the heart.
Check yourself.
That's great.
Wow.
I love Blue Apron.
It's delicious.
It's so good.
It's delicious.
Do you like it, Joe?
It's awesome.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But you know, there's manners.
You know, that's another thing.
I was going to say, right?
You're born with, regardless of what's going on, right?
Like Jeffrey Dahmer, he had fucked up, you know, but they started killing animals, right?
Some people do that, and then they start eating dick, you know?
Oh, whatever, you know?
Because it's not good enough, and it has to go crazy.
Right, right, right?
And then some people, like, will interrupt people with signs.
Do you understand how that works?
It comes out in different ways.
Oh, man.
Yeah, yeah.
What is next?
What is next?
He's going to start eating dicks.
Sponsor signs?
The eating dick?
Yeah.
Like, you know why I like Kyla?
When I love her, why I love her?
Why?
Because I don't fucking care to defend lists of them, okay?
But I know that she's a good woman.
Oh, thanks.
No, no, I'm being real.
Like, her love for animals, right?
Her love for her sister and her mom and Roger, she has love, she has good friends, right?
She meets people, people like, you know, all those little things, right?
She would never interrupt me with a sign.
Okay.
I would never do George.
That was your bad.
That was crazy.
I was out there.
But my point is this, that's how, so what I'm saying is your dad, there's no excuse
for your dad.
Fuck your dad.
Right.
Fuck your dad.
And I'm going to find your dad.
You don't think I will?
Please.
Yeah.
What's his name?
No.
Do you know what the truth is?
You know what the truth is?
You know what the truth is?
What?
Sometimes I do think about finding him, so I can punch him in the throat a million times
and then be like, hey, finally, now you know what it feels like to get beat, motherfucker.
Wow.
Damn.
That's the real feeling there, huh?
Yeah.
There you go.
That's heavy.
But that's what makes you such a strong person is because you wouldn't do that.
No.
I think that you wouldn't.
Oh, when my dad had a stroke, and I looked at him and when he was in the hospital, you
know.
Yeah.
Oh, this is my chance.
Yeah.
When he can't fight back.
Just one throat sock.
You know what I mean?
And then, you know.
You're in a problem.
And also, I almost, in my head, I'm like, this is a prayer I had 30 years too late.
I prayed that he would have a stroke when he was a dick back in the day.
Yeah.
And then God went, oh, wait, 30 years when he became cool.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And my dad softened over the years, and my dad, I became, I fell in love with my dad
in my 20s and 30s, but as a kid, I hated him, but you know, him and I were able to find
deep love.
My brother, too.
Yeah.
Everyone loves each other.
It's funny how that doesn't sometimes happen for a really long time.
Like I think that I didn't feel that way towards my mom either until my 20s where I was like,
you know what?
I understand you now.
I understand everything that you've been through, I understand why you did what you
did to me.
Yeah.
Why you hurt me as much as you did.
I get it.
And you know, everyone's on this learning curve, too.
For sure.
It wasn't until then that I was like, whoa, I really cannot live without her.
I absolutely love her.
What I've always thought about you, too, is that you have a specific kind of look.
I would forget the cross-eyed thing, but let's just cancel that.
Let's cancel that.
But my point is that he really is.
But I can't even look at him.
I can't even really look at him.
He's closing his eyes now.
Our guest has closed his eyes, so we can't look at him.
Now you're making me self-conscious.
I got to do the whole show like this.
Just close it.
Just close it.
It confuses everyone in the room.
It's like, where is he looking?
But what I've always thought about you is that you could actually become like an actor.
You're an actor.
You could book shit.
You really think so?
Yeah.
But do you go out a lot?
No.
I mean, I don't even want to be an actor.
But I mean.
Why?
I don't know.
I don't want to go to the studios and work in Hollywood.
I'd rather just fund my own films and do that.
I don't blame you.
Yeah.
Wow.
I don't ever want to be accepted.
I've always had this thing like, I got to get accepted by my peers and by the mainstream
to feel.
Yeah.
I did when a couple of years into trying to do entertainment and stuff, right?
Yeah.
And then I was like, they're just people.
Why do I got to be accepted by them?
I don't even know them.
Right.
Yeah.
Wow.
See, I wish I had that.
You know, it's crazy.
I got something for you.
Uh-huh.
One of the biggest inspirations for me was you to do stuff.
He loves to hear this kind of stuff.
Let me show you something.
This is crazy.
All right.
Uh-huh.
I want you to look at this picture.
Uh-huh.
That's us 13 years ago.
Oh my God.
Where is that?
That's you.
Yes.
I'm bald and at the time I was a drug dealer and I had no, I like, I had no aspirations
of becoming an entertainer.
Is that part?
No.
Those two guys are other people, but you were my first stand-up comedy show in Las Vegas.
I've never been to a stand-up show before.
Oh my God.
And that was, I think, I think it's the cue now, but I forgot it was behind the Imperial
Palace.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You remember that?
No, this is Harris.
Harris.
Harris, yeah.
Harris, Harris, yeah.
Right?
Is that dark Kim's a comedy?
And Bobby has a Mohawk.
At a Mohawk.
Yeah.
Wow.
I did it one time.
Honestly though, for a quick second, I thought that was Bobby.
Sweetie, that guy kind of looks like you too.
He's Korean, so.
Yeah, yeah.
That's crazy.
You look like a thug there.
That's amazing.
So it's crazy because when I saw you on stage at that time, I was like, man, an Asian guy
putting it down.
This is awesome, right?
Because in my mind, it just wasn't possible for Asians to do anything in entertainment.
So it's crazy that you come onto my channel, my shows, you do sketches with us, and it's
like, I never really talked to you about this stuff, but it's like, when you look back,
you were one of the people that made me do JK.
Just by example, just by seeing you up on stage, and you think it's so much love.
Let me just say, your eyes are straight as fuck.
Your eyes are straight as fuck.
Your eyes are straight as fuck.
They're straight as fuck.
You know, that was just a joke.
All right?
You're a laser eye.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Like, if you were a jet, right, and you were shooting things, it wouldn't go inwards.
It would go, ow, all right, you missed the target.
Like Cyclops.
Yes, like Cyclops.
Yes.
Yeah, man.
Let me say this, too.
And I'm going to give you a compliment, you fucking, a guy, okay?
With good eyes.
Nip, nip, nip.
Nip, nip.
I like that.
Nip, nip.
I wanted to say, when I was trying to promote my channel and promote myself on the internet,
because things were drying up for me a little bit in Hollywood, I was like, I got to figure
something out.
You know, and I, and that is when I met George, and I go, George, what do I do?
And he goes, let's reach out to just kidding news.
I try, I reached out to you guys, and also, Timothy Delacroix, Mao.
Timothy Delacroix.
Whatever.
They're leaving that memo.
Get over here.
But, and I did one thing with Timothy Delacroix, and then, yeah, yeah, I like him, you know?
But then I did it with you guys, and I really, really liked it.
I remember I drove out there the first time, we did the sketches, and I did it again, you
know what I mean?
Yeah.
So, no, that first time was through Gio.
Yep.
It was through Gio, yeah.
But, yeah, I mean, I thank you for putting me on your stuff too, but you never said anything
then.
Um, I just didn't want to come off all weird, you know, like, it's, and at the time, I wasn't
really thinking about the connection, and I was looking, cleaning through my computer
the other day, and I was like, holy shit, I mean, it was 13 years ago.
And I do remember feeling like, man, this is so awesome seeing this guy go on stage,
and you gave our group so much love, like, we would, we would kind of talk in the middle
of your set, but you would join in, and then we would laugh together, and I didn't know
what heckling was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I was just having a good time, but we would yell stuff at you, and then you were
just giving us so much love, and you were just basically roasting everybody else.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, oh, that's freaking awesome.
Wow.
You know what?
It's a full circle of life.
Dreamweaver.
Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it?
You're the dreamweaver.
You know what?
And I've been waiting for many years for you to say that.
I say it once every three months.
Yeah, Nosotros Papaya, do you remember that?
And I'm going to say something about Nosotros Papaya.
What does that mean?
It means we are papayas.
And I'm telling you right now, Nosotros Papaya, without the S.
Let me say something right now, right?
All right.
Tiger Belly, if I came up with Nosotros Papaya before Tiger Belly, I think that this will
be a podcast.
I think that we should change our name to Nosotros Papaya.
No, no, no, no, no.
We should make shirts, though.
We'll make shirts like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I really enjoy it.
It's so good.
Because we are papaya.
You know, it's Looney when I first came up with it.
When I told Kalyla that, I said one day I just leaned on her, I go Nosotros Papaya.
Well, it's a song of yours.
It is a song.
Along with Save the Pelicans.
Save the Pelicans.
Oh, I've never heard that one.
That's awesome.
And Tito Rico.
Tito Rico is another artist.
Another one is Fiddler Father Urban Mother.
Are you going to come out with the album?
Mixed tape.
I may or may not, man.
Please.
Please do.
Please do it.
Now, so you don't want to do any kind of mainstream, you don't have an agent or anything
like that.
I do.
I do.
Who's your agent?
Just say.
I don't know if these are secrets or...
Oh, well, okay.
But, hey, I am to be known.
No, I have a manager.
Not an agent.
And, um...
Okay.
Yeah.
What do you...
Do I want to act?
No, I'm just saying that it's not really a secret.
It's all IMDb.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
Like, you know, I'm with CAA.
But that's a little, like, you're bragging.
Exactly what I'm doing.
He hasn't much to ask.
Oh, that's exactly what I'm doing.
Nosotros Papaya.
Nosotros Papaya.
Do you?
Okay.
So, you have a manager and you ask her, like...
You don't ask her, like, can you send me out on stuff?
Oh, because I don't want to audition.
So, when they were bringing back, um, In Living Colored, me and Bart, we auditioned for that.
Oh, cool.
And we both got the role.
And I was like, whoa, two Asians, that's freaking awesome.
But during the time, they saw YouTube as a threat.
So whatever network was trying to do it, they said, we can't post anything on YouTube during
that time.
Yeah.
And we got, like, you know, 10 people that were paying at the time.
And I was like, ride or die, man.
I can't...
I can't take the show.
I didn't even go on air.
Yeah.
So I was like, cool.
After that, um, I was just thinking, like, we already have a fan base that loves us.
Why should I go out there and try to do auditions, you know, like...
And then if anything, I could fund my own thing.
So...
I...
Okay.
Here's my argument with you, though.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, this is for me.
You...
I...
No.
No.
Okay.
I'll tell you why.
Please.
Can I tell you why?
Please.
Because I think a lot of it, and if don't get me wrong, you may disagree.
Okay.
A little bit of it is fear.
Oh, yeah.
I'm afraid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a huge part of it.
Huge, huge thing.
You don't want to fail.
And number two...
I don't want to waste my time either.
Yeah.
It is a way...
It seems...
You know what?
It was so funny because I was with Theo Vaughn today in the car and he goes, yo, man.
He goes, yo, man.
Fuck auditions.
I'm done.
Right?
I go, you don't do them anymore?
He goes, nah.
I don't get them.
You mean you don't get auditions?
No, I never get the job.
I'm done.
It's a waste of time.
And I go, that's the best...
I learned this from Kalyla.
Oh, whoa.
She's a good acting coach.
No, no, no.
I learned this from Kalyla.
Life coach.
I have the same mentality as you do.
Ask her.
Yes.
I fucking hate it.
But you get on shows.
But I go on out.
Right.
You gotta buy the lottery ticket if you want.
You gotta buy a lottery ticket.
And I don't care what...
I don't care what you produce.
Pay to play, you know?
I don't care what you produce or what you...
You know what?
The likelihood of you creating a game of thrones or a Walking
Dead or a show like that is, you know, you may not be able to do that.
Well, you don't know, though.
I understand that.
When I'm 60, I might be able to write something.
I understand.
I know.
I know.
But when I'm saying...
But to get it off the ground, you know, to get the production and the direct, you
know what I mean?
You've got studio to do and all that stuff.
It's just...
It's insane, right?
Right.
But you could audition for a show like that and get it.
And then all of a sudden, like, oh fuck, not only do you have your just kidding films
fans, but you have so many more people and you're gonna reach so many more people is
what I'm saying.
Why is that?
A hundred percent.
No, no.
I just have a different game plan.
So I don't...
Oh, fuck.
It's not that I don't want to be an actor.
Yeah, yeah.
It's better if I fund it myself versus going to a studio and then I have a brand, like
I have my personality.
I don't want them to put me in a different role that might ruin that.
People have different routes.
So I'm trying to get about...
So can I tell you my game plan?
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Okay, so my game plan is so we just finished a script, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We go to...
We basically go to different production companies.
We're gonna sell the script.
We're tied into it as actors.
So we're one-shot package.
And we can fund it if we need to with the production company's team help.
So with that, I think going in with more power is a lot better than becoming an actor in
one of their stories.
But also, I don't want to be like an actor-actor, whereas some people are really good at playing
that game.
I think I just want to fulfill roles that I write.
Yeah.
Master plan.
Sorry about that.
It's a great plan.
Yeah.
Everything that you said, though, I'm listening to because I want Tiger Belly to somehow spawn
off into something like that.
And that's real...
You've maybe been giving me some sort of inspiration, okay?
I think that this crew can do some things too, you know?
This kid right here, Gilbert, right?
This guy is super talented, right?
Yeah.
I saw he's in one of my buddy's series.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she was acting today on an essential show.
Really?
Yeah, she put makeup.
And she's a wonderful host for MMA.
Yeah, she's...
Yeah, you've got to see her.
We've got to show it to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Talk about cross-eye.
Welcome to Bat...
Welcome to Batalan Beach.
I did this thing years ago.
Filipino.
Batalan Beach.
I did this MMA show years ago, and they will never let it go.
And she's like sweating, right?
You could tell that they've been...
You know, sitting by an octagon, and I'm just like...
And they were feeding me lines because I couldn't remember anything, and I was just so inorganic,
and I was awful.
She already has anxiety, too.
She already has anxiety, too.
Hell no.
Even thinking about it, my hand sweat.
I think I didn't have fun at all, and it was for friends, too, and I let them down completely.
They probably thought, wow, she's really going to kill it.
It wasn't that bad.
I enjoyed it.
It was awful.
Like, my body was just so stiff in one direction.
I didn't want to move, and just beads of sweat were coming.
I got into the fucking sweat stash.
It's, you know, I feel like I've known you a little bit more now.
You know, the upbringing, your dad, how you started your journey.
That thing that you just showed me with me really kind of tripped me out a little bit.
Because you know what?
I only did that week, one time, and I really remember it.
Really?
I don't remember you, but I remember that week.
Did you live in Vegas?
No, no.
It was my friend's 21st birthday or something like that.
Oh, so you weren't even, you just happened to be there?
Pats, yeah.
The reason why I was probably nice to him is because of the fact that somewhere along
that week, I was at a Geraldine, there's a Geraldine's ice cream place.
Gerardelli's?
Gerardelli's.
Is that what it's called?
Wait, what did you say?
Geraldine's.
Let's open her up.
Let's open her up.
I don't like when people do that.
I'm sorry.
Because you guys know what I was talking about.
Well, not at first.
I didn't know what that was.
Actually, it didn't even click in his head, only in mine.
I was eating at a live garden.
Because that sounds like a vegetarian spot.
Olive Garden.
Olive Garden, right.
There you go.
What?
Okay.
All right.
You can get it first.
Get a point.
I was eating at Paca de Papo.
Pocot de Pepo.
Yes.
There we go.
I mean, it's that simple.
You're right.
I apologize.
I could do another one.
You're good.
I was at a Kiki's.
Oh, that's a hard one.
Oh, that's a hard one.
It's all in a second.
Cocos?
Yes.
Wow.
Very good.
Last time I was drunk, man, I was eating at Lenny's.
Danny.
Yeah.
So what I'm saying, though, is that it's easy to do if you try.
All right.
Yeah.
I ate a sandwich at three in the morning at Railway.
Subway.
Yeah.
See what I mean?
No, because you said...
So Geraldine's, I said.
You said Geraldine's.
Whatever.
Ice cream.
No, because they're known for chocolate.
I don't know this place.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Anyway.
I don't know this place.
Nosotros papaya to you.
It was during the day and there was all these like fat, you know, middle American Americans
that's eating these gigantic sundaes with nuts on it, right?
Nice people, I'm sure.
All great, great people and they're going to influence our country in a great way.
Yeah.
Just because they're fat.
No.
It's...
All right.
All right.
All right.
It's not even go there.
Don't even get me started on that.
But I remember sitting there and dipping my ice cream there and I remember biting
it and go, I'm going to kill myself because that was right when, when I had that mohawk,
it was right when after mad TV, right, and then nothing, nothing happening in my career.
Oh, that time.
Yeah.
And I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.
And also that gig, you do 16 shows, Monday through Monday.
Wow.
So you're there from Monday through Sunday, right?
You do two shows a night and then like on Friday you do a couple, you do extra on the
weekends.
Yeah.
And they, they'll do a show regardless who's in the audience.
So a Monday for a show is five people who got the coupon at the, you know, got the
track, the pack at the, at the desk and they, oh, there's a comedy show.
Yeah.
That was us.
It was that you guys got a coupon.
I got the coupon.
Oh, comedy show.
We never, you know, let's check it out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, it was one of, I was there, you know, who opened for me, Aaron Cater.
Oh.
And that was one of the worst weeks of my life.
And it's so interesting that he pulled that up because in my desperation there and in
my bottom, I met a future kid and it's, it's, it's all nosotros, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's interesting to me, man.
Cause it was like a negative week for you, but it ended up being positive.
And that's another thing is that you could be at your lowest, but you don't know who
you're affecting.
Oh yeah.
Listen to that.
Yeah.
You know, you could just be like in a bad place and listen to that.
But you know, you know, when they say, when something bad happens, they go, well, there's
a reason.
There might be a reason.
Yeah.
Right there.
There could be.
And you were his catalyst.
You know?
Or maybe I'm just like talking out of my ass right now.
Maybe.
Yeah.
You never know.
You know, you, we were family now, you know what I mean?
You know that?
Blah, blah.
Excuse me.
Blah, blah.
Okay.
I was like, are you competitive with other Asian groups?
No.
You like him?
You liked him with the Delgado?
Yeah.
I actually want, you know, most Asians to just go out there because there's so many different
times.
What do you mean most?
What do you mean most?
No.
He worried.
Right, right.
Cause there's some frauds.
That's what I'm getting at.
Yeah.
That's what I'm getting at.
Right?
So you have some fraud groups out there.
Right.
You don't have to name names.
I would love you to.
But you don't have to.
No, I don't.
Okay.
You don't have to.
But let me ask you this.
What makes some frauds?
Oh yeah.
That's good.
The way that they are in person.
Now we're in entertainment.
So in most cases when it's off camera, you're going to be a little bit different, right?
But I just don't like certain people that portray like a goodie two shoes or something
when they're not.
Right.
Cause it's just fraudulent.
You know?
It's like, why are you doing that?
Or people that do sensational content that just, you know, they just want views, but
it's pretty bad for society.
Are they Asian or just in groups in general?
In the broader spectrum, yeah, that I don't like in general.
So if an Asian does it too, I'm just even more like, fuck, there's only a few of us.
Yeah.
Why are you being like that?
But in the, for the most part, 99% of Asians on YouTube are cool as hell.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When Asians are good standups, I love them.
Oh yeah.
I really do.
Yeah.
Same here.
I mean, even Kevin Shea, who I don't really get along with.
Yeah.
I think he's a good standup.
He's a really good standup.
He's very funny.
I fucking hate him as a person, but he's a good standup.
Even guys like, there are guys like that, like, you know, Shane, Shane Wang or you know
him?
Yeah.
Fresh off the boat.
Yeah.
Elliot Chang.
Elliot Chang is a nerd.
We don't.
He's a YouTube guy.
Yeah.
No, but he's very funny as a standup.
And then when they're bad though, I get the reverse thing, like, I hate them.
Right.
Cause you don't want them to represent us.
That's what it is.
Dude, I hate fobs, I don't know why.
But not fobs with accents.
That's not what I mean.
Right.
I've already said it on the show.
Yeah.
There's a guy.
What is it?
What do you mean by a mentality?
There is a, um, a not coolness about them.
Yeah.
I just like Margaret Cho.
She just got tattooed.
She's cool.
Yeah.
She's cool.
Her point of view.
Just everything about her is like, I just love it.
It's the image that I want.
It could be, she could be like a Yakuza slave.
Yeah.
You know, like, you know, like, you know, Yakuza Dan, and she's like a madame.
She's cool.
You know what I mean?
I think we're talking about the same thing then because you have a really good bullshit
filter.
And for me, it's like, if you're going to go up there and try hard, you're a fucking
try hard.
You try to be cool.
I don't like that.
Yeah.
And people can't see it.
Yeah.
I think that's what you can see.
Oh, you can see.
Yeah.
It's the try hardness.
The try hards don't see the other try hard.
You know what I mean?
But the real, they see the real.
Yeah.
Like McDonald's.
Oh, yeah.
They have beef with McDonald's.
Yeah.
So I think it's like an inside joke that we had for a while because Gio said that she
didn't like McDonald's and all of us love McDonald's.
So we were just going in on her and then all of our fans just for months went on their
Instagram, Twitter and then just told them, sponsor JK Films.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to ask you, I'm going to tell you some McDonald's dishes.
Sometimes I like some of them, like the best shit.
Okay.
Okay.
This is good.
What do you think?
French fries?
Number one?
Yes.
Right, the French fries.
Oh, out of all of the stuff?
Yeah.
Yes.
I like the French fries.
I think the French fries are number one.
But my number two is their apple pie thing.
Oh, yeah.
Have you had the Taro one in Hawaii?
No.
I have a Taro one.
Oh, shit.
This guy just got fancy on me.
Taro.
Yeah.
Ube.
What else do you like for McDonald's?
Nuggets?
Yes.
I like the hamburger because it's so nostalgic.
Not only that, it's so easy to eat.
Tiny.
Yeah.
They're small.
They're not, they don't ever hurt my stomach.
Yeah.
And they're just, the ketchup is more ketchupy or something.
Yeah.
It's really good.
Different.
I want to eat it tonight.
No, don't do it.
What about breakfast?
Do you have a favorite?
Oh, what's yours?
I like the sausage egg McMuffin.
Boom.
That's mine too.
Done.
The big breakfast or the one with the hot cakes and everything.
Oh, you like that one?
Oh, you do that.
You're like a country kind of a guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Their pancakes are good.
I've never had a pancake there.
Yeah.
They're pancake are really good.
They call them hot cakes.
Yeah.
Hot cakes.
Hot cakes.
Del Taco or Tacoville?
Hold on one second.
Before you say Del Taco, you guys have to drive to the Del Taco in Baker and Barstow.
It's different.
It's the best.
Yes.
It's different.
Why?
It's worth the drive.
I'm telling you.
They make their taco different.
I'm not driving.
I'm not driving into Barstow.
You got no more of fucking Del Taco.
I'll tell you that right now, my friends.
So it's halfway between for you guys who aren't familiar.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
Barstow is halfway between here and Las Vegas.
Yeah.
So it's about two hours away.
So what's a two hour drive to eat Del Taco?
I've done it.
Just for Del Taco.
And you're dumb and you're retarded.
I've also driven four hours to a place in Mexico.
It's called El Original for some tacos and tortas.
It's the best place.
That's fine.
Like, I'll give you an example.
Remember that place, that barbecue place in San Diego?
That like?
Fills.
Right?
Is that what it's called?
Oh yeah.
Fills is pretty good.
Yeah.
I would drive two hours ago there.
Right?
I would drive many hours for certain foods.
Right?
But not Del Taco.
Try the Del Taco.
It's different.
Why is it different then?
Because the tacos are bigger, they put like tomatoes and they season it a little bit different.
And the chicken is really big and chunky and fresh.
And the cheese is different, the lettuce is different.
I don't know why that Del Taco is just different.
It's so good.
You've been to that specific bar.
Yeah.
I know which one you're talking about.
It's always crowded there.
It's packed because people know this is the best Del Taco in the country.
And I'm a big Del Taco lover.
You know what it is?
What if it says, you think it's Del Taco, but it's not?
What is it?
There's two L's in it.
You just didn't realize.
You never realized.
Del Taco.
Del Taco.
There's no A.
It's Del Taco.
Del Taco.
Del Taco.
You know what I mean?
It's Japanese.
It's Japanese cuisine.
Is it Del Taco?
Yes, it is.
It's like Del Taco.
Why would they make it?
And it's retro and stuff.
Here's what we're going to do.
We're going to do a vlog.
We're going to go to Barstow.
And we're going to Barstow for a fucking Del Taco.
For reference, we should go to one down the street, eat their soft food.
I don't need to do that because I've eaten fucking Del Taco before.
There's one right by my parents' house.
Just to remind yourself of what the standard is in L.A.
It is different.
And then to have one over there.
Well, my brother and I are in our parents' house.
This is what we do.
We play video games.
Then we'll go, let's go to Del Taco.
We go to Del Taco.
Then we go to Target.
We get Pringles.
We get Pringles.
We get the little, you know what I mean?
The washer.
And we make the vagina.
Yeah.
And we fuck that.
And then we eat more Del Taco and play video games.
You build VV bags together?
Yeah.
You want this?
That's so awesome.
We should gift it to Joe.
This is our friend.
This is our friend.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
This is her vagina.
You know, the science.
I've tried fleshlights before.
They're not as good as my girlfriend.
You can't use?
No.
All right.
Well, then I'll use it.
But it's awesome.
I'll give this to her.
No, I actually tried fleshlight before.
It's even warmed up.
It doesn't feel as good.
He prefers it.
You like it?
Oh.
That's awesome.
That is awesome.
I don't prefer it.
I don't prefer it.
I don't prefer it.
What are these dicks?
Okay, so I tested Asa and I was like, what are these 57 multicolored penises that you
sent me?
Yeah.
And she thinks they're just party favors.
She doesn't know either.
Because they're just flaccid penises.
Pull them out.
Pull them out.
No, I know.
I know.
So she sent you these?
Yeah.
Asa sent us.
Why you open like a burrito?
They're delicious.
No, but look at this.
You can't stick in your vagina.
I can't.
It's so flaccid.
What is it for?
Dude, if my dick was this big.
Oh my God.
Are you going to suck it?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Bobby, stop.
Stop, Bobby.
Bobby.
No, but seriously.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
I've never sucked it.
I have.
Do not do that.
What do you do for it?
Bobby, stop.
No, but just listen.
Listen.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
You suck a good dick, babe.
Oh my God.
Oh shit.
There's like a clay on us to run.
Or can I?
Sweetie, there's like a photograph.
Oh my God.
There's come on it.
Oh yeah.
Ew.
It looks like a fucking slug.
Babe, you suck good dick.
Thank you.
It's very tender.
Thank you.
You're really delicate with it.
I'll tell you why because you didn't want to know.
You've had your dick sucks.
You know what you like.
Sometimes it doesn't.
He's actually legit.
But you've also sucked real dick.
Anyone else a kid?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are we doing on time?
We're ready for questions.
What are we doing on time now?
Almost an hour.
That was fast.
It was really fast.
We do unhelpful advice.
They ask questions.
You answer it.
Okay.
We'll do two.
Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Jojo.
Hi Tiger Belly.
I wanted to start off by signing.
I absolutely love the podcast and all of you.
Long time listener, first time emailer.
Unhelpful advice.
So this month I've been celebrating the one year anniversary since I broke up with my toxic and abusive boyfriend.
We were together for four years.
But I couldn't be more happy and proud of myself for making a decision to leave a year ago.
After the breakup I went straight to self care and started doing things for me.
I got into new hobbies, finally started a nursing program and I was postponing and finally started a nursing program that I was postponing and traveled to places I've never been.
I feel like I did everything right when it comes to breakup and I had a lot of growth because of it.
But within the past few weeks I've been having flashbacks of times when me and my ex were still together.
The good and bad.
They seem to come out out of nowhere.
The good memories leave me depressed and the bad memories give me many anxiety attacks.
Usually I'm able to take deep breaths to refocus my thinking but recently it's been getting harder to do that.
Is this just a phase that everyone goes through?
How do you deal with flashbacks of bad memories?
How do you deal with flashbacks of good memories about a bad ex?
Thanks for taking the time to read this email.
Respectfully Clarissa, faithful member of the Slep Kingdom.
Well the human, you have flashbacks with a different event in your life.
That's what the mind is there for.
At least it's not a war that you're having a flashback on.
It might have been.
Maybe it was a really abusive relationship.
But my point though is that I think that I'm not a scientist of the mind.
I don't have a medical degree but I have flashbacks.
I think that flashbacks is a part of just a mechanism that what the mind does.
And there's some good events and bad events.
I have flashbacks on shit that's like random.
And I have them on auditions, I have them on what my dad used to do.
I have them on weird relationships or different things.
And you feel sad about them.
I think that's just a part of having a brain.
I can speak to the good flashbacks.
I think that that's just the normal course of anything.
Especially when you've had distance with that person.
I don't know, for instance, I was in a really, really tumultuous relationship
where the guy basically threatened my life.
And at the moment that he was threatening me, I thought to myself,
God, I can't fucking wait for this to be over
and to never hear from him again, to never see him again.
But three years fast forward and you start to,
all of those super hard feelings go away and you're like,
huh, I wonder how he's doing. And it's not real.
It doesn't mean anything other than like a bit of like a curiosity
that's kind of like surfaces.
And it's what?
Nothing.
What? Why are you doing that?
Okay.
Why?
I don't have flashbacks about any girl.
No, it's not like in a way that, oh, I want to get back with that person.
I just think it's a natural course of how memories work.
You know, I have flashbacks on like things, like one time,
I shouldn't be saying this, but I had a girlfriend who,
she was like, I go, jerk me off a little bit.
And so she, she tried to do it.
I go, it's not a joystick.
And she went, stop it.
And she started crying.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Poor girl.
But it is not a joystick.
You've got to be gentle, you know.
But also you had a flashback.
I remember of that girl who was on top of you and she was,
she thought she was like really bomb at sex,
but she was doing the sideways riding.
Oh, I hate it.
Fucking that.
She was doing the side ride.
She didn't know to go up and down.
She did like a saddle thing.
It doesn't even feel good.
It doesn't.
No, it feels like your dick's being ripped from the roof.
That's how you break the base.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's who, that was her only move.
That was her only move.
Just side to side, never once up and down.
Those are the worst ones.
Cause like, you know, when you're younger,
you think good sex means doing 16 different positions and it's not.
Good sex could be like missionary and that could be the best sex ever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She probably thought she was getting really creative
and she didn't know she was breaking your dick.
But she didn't, we did it a couple of times.
She didn't do it.
There was no other alter different moves.
That's all she did.
That's all she did was like a hula hoop thing.
That sounds not.
Yeah.
It's a meat grinder.
What do you think about bad flashbacks?
Well, I think she's asking because she wants to, um,
find out if there's a different way to cope.
Cause, um, um, I think, you know,
listening to tiger belly and all that, it's like,
obviously you went through a lot of pain and suffering.
Yeah.
And she probably looks up to you and your advice and,
and she's probably asking, how do I deal with it?
Yes.
You know, it's, it's just one of those things.
You just kind of live with it like it's luggage.
Or you can talk to somebody about it a professional.
I think that she probably hasn't reconciled truly.
Even if she thinks she's found closure or she's moved on,
maybe there's a part of her that still feels really threatened
by the idea of having this really abusive past with this person.
So she needs to reconcile with that and speak to somebody.
You know, I see a therapist.
Eric Griffin told me Eric, we were having dinner and he goes,
yo man, you should watch, see a therapist.
And I thought about it.
He goes, it's really helped me out.
Make up.
Now I like the luggage.
Well, I mean, you're, you subconsciously probably do this,
but you're, you're a comic.
So you know how to cope and change your story.
And, and you know how to make light of it.
Maybe you have the tools and some people don't.
No, I don't.
Maybe, maybe.
I'm just saying right now.
I know for a fact that if I saw a therapist,
he would clear a lot of things up and I wouldn't be so depressed.
But I want to carry the luggage.
You know, someone said this, I think it was a guy on the
Joe Rogan podcast.
I forget where I heard it, but people who are very balanced
and self-actualized are the least funny people.
Like, you know, think about your friends who are really Zen
and who are, they're never funny.
Never.
That's true.
Cause they're too calm.
They are.
And they're like, they, they, you know, God, can you stop farting?
It was so like a miniature machine gun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I call the M16.
That's an M16.
I really looked around.
I think that you should, you should definitely talk to somebody
and decompress.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Give me another one.
Hello guys.
I hope you are all well.
Love the podcast.
I'm from London.
When will Bob tour England?
Question.
Never.
Okay.
I want to propose to my girl this year or next.
Any ideas how you should make it extra special.
Kate talks about how she isn't a lovely mushy girl.
So is mine.
But I think all girls secretly want that moment to be slightly special.
Don't you agree?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I heard about the best one last night.
Where was it?
Cause I was in Chicago with Jade.
And Jade has a friend named Jeannie who's a baker.
Yeah.
And she's, she's getting married to this Filipino guy and we all had dinner together.
Right.
And the way he proposes Jeannie fell asleep.
Right.
And he just slipped the ring.
Oh.
On her finger.
Oh my God.
They gave me like goosebumps.
Oh, that's good.
Right.
And then Jeannie went to the go to the bathroom and she was kind of looking at her hand and
she saw the ring.
Oh my God.
I would cry.
Oh my God.
That's the best actually.
It's the best one.
Right.
And then he was around the corner and he goes, will you marry me?
Oh my God.
That's it.
That's it.
You should have never told me that because you could have used that.
And I would have just.
He's going to sneak it in your butt.
And when you.
No, mine's going to be different.
Yeah.
I know yours is going to be different.
Yeah.
I think what he should do is.
It's going to be like a nose ring.
Oh my God.
Fuck.
I think a pretty good marriage proposal would be if he hired a bunch of goons to kidnap
her.
And then he comes out and he beats them all up and then at the end he's like, will you
marry me?
Oh, so you're a hero.
You're a hero.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then everyone like gets up and they're like, yay.
Wow.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With her, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to have, it's going to be in a cockroach.
The ring.
The worst fear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll be wrapped around like a.
So I'll be running away from my ring.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We want to get married.
So I have to stomp on the roads to get the ring.
Yeah.
And you won't do it.
I will never do it.
So we're not going to get married.
And then I can always say I tried.
Because you are.
You did try.
You did try.
You did try.
I tried.
Genius.
Next.
Does that it?
Yeah.
That's it.
Joe overdose.
It's Joe Chitukawa now on Instagram.
Joe Chitukawa.
Yep.
Um, it was like talking to family, man.
It's, it's.
And I was so tired.
I was really tired right now.
I'm honestly like, I had one hour of sleep last night.
Oh man.
And I flew in.
I had to do this fucking thing with Theo and stuff.
I was so fucking tired.
Wait, can we just touch on the Olympics real quick before we go?
You can want to do an Olympic talk.
Go ahead.
I haven't seen one second of it.
Has watched it, but me.
Chloe.
Chloe Kim.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just know it's a bunch of Asians right now.
A lot of.
All Zen in US.
All Asian people.
Is it really?
All Asians just representing?
Like the skating.
Like the skating team is all Asian.
Oh, okay.
The figure skating.
I like the gay dudes a lot.
Let me see.
They're obviously a lot.
Yes.
Yeah.
But what's your favorite Olympic sport to watch?
Curling.
No, I don't like to win.
That's why I'm not really.
You know what I like?
I like the figure skating stuff.
Me too.
No, but I like it when they like fail.
Oh.
Yeah.
When they twist an ankle and they do a spin and they fall on their back.
And their dreams are crushed.
And then they, what my favorite is, is they try to get back up, but they, you know what
I mean?
They broke it, you know, but they still try to do it.
To finish it off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it's like, it's like four years of training down the tubes in one moment.
I love it.
I like the outfits.
Yeah.
What's your favorite sport to watch?
Captain Crunch on the Olympics.
Yeah.
Winter Olympics.
The winter.
I actually don't watch it, but I do watch.
Today I was watching some Bobsledding.
Oh, I love that.
It was like the single.
That is so good.
I love the Luge.
The Luge.
Was Luge today?
I only like yesterday qualifiers.
I don't know.
Oh yeah.
I like the short track.
I like the short track.
They're fucking loosing.
I don't know.
You see the short, the Koreans are savage with the short track.
They like trip each other up.
I'm sorry.
What on earth are you doing, sweetie?
Oh, she's kissing the dog.
He's kissing the dog.
That's awesome.
Okay.
Well, Gilbert, thank you so much for coming on the show, Joe.
Thanks for having me.
I had an awesome time.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
Papa's not done.
Papa's not done.
He's so tired.
Look at me right now.
I'm looking at you.
What am I going to say?
Starts with an N.
N?
Yeah, N.
N?
Yeah.
To you and your family.
Yeah.
It's a blessing.
Thank you.
Oh, by the way, Luke.
Oh yeah, Luke Rockhold.
Luke Rockhold.
What the fuck, bro?
You had it.
I thought he was in the pocket.
I thought he was doing fine, you know, but he's going to be just a journeyman now.
He was champion at one point.
And I just think that's my opinion.
It's just too heavy now.
You got him.
You got Jockeray.
You've got Robert Whitaker.
So now who's the champion now?
Whitaker.
Whitaker still.
Whitaker's champion.
So they got to fight again now?
I know, which I didn't want to see.
I wanted Luke to fight Whitaker.
Maybe Weidman.
I don't know.
Weidman.
He just won three.
That division can't catch a break for some reason.
I think you don't want UFC.
I haven't been catching up.
One of his favorite guys got knocked out cold.
He's handsome. He's from California, Santa Cruz.
Anyway, thanks for listening to Tiger Belly.
God bless you and take care.
Good night.
Any shows for Bobby?
Yes.
Oh my God.
Come on.
I am at the, I need help.
I need the Irvine improv this weekend.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Come and support.
I love it there.
You know, Joe, any, any projects coming up?
Anything we need to know about you, man?
Any businesses to support?
I just finished my, um, my first script.
Nice.
That's a hard thing to do.
Yeah.
So we're going to be pitching that out.
So, I mean, hopefully, you know, we'll get that picked up and ready to go.
Other than that, no, just watch, just kidding news.
Just kidding.
Um, party for game shows.
I watched it for the first time.
Which one?
Just kidding news.
The party party party.
That's so fun.
I want to play Mafia.
That wasn't in the studio that we were at, right?
It's a different one.
That's in downtown LA.
So definitely you guys got to come down.
I'll play Mafia.
We'd love to.
I was like, why am I watching the C2P?
It's just a game show.
We'll just play different games and have fun.
Oh, that sounds awesome.
And, um, my personal channel, Joe Jitzicawa on YouTube.
Yep.
And please try not to actively look for his dad in West LA.
Please don't.
Let's not do that.
But if you want to make a sketch of what you think his dad looks like Sunday.
Yeah.
What do you call those again?
Those sketches that people do to like find a.
Those police sketches?
Yeah, police sketches.
Yeah.
I don't know the name.
Who murdered me sketches?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
A guy went on your way out careful because there was a murder about a block away.
Awesome.
And they're still circling the area.
They still have their, they have a perimeter earlier about four hours ago.
That's okay.
He's probably not going to do it again.
Well, he's still out on, he's not captured.
So careful on your way out, Joe.
Okay.
I'll be in my car.
I'll be clenching my purse real tight.
Get stabbed.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, guys, make sure you follow us on Tiger Valley at Tiger Valley on Instagram
and make sure you follow us on Twitter at that Tiger Valley and emails.
Any questions, unhelpful advice, concerns, hate mail, but don't do those at the tigervellyatgmail.com.
Make sure you look us up on iTunes.
Give us five stars, only five stars.
And write us a comment.
You can follow Colilo on all social media.
At Calamity K.
You can follow George and all his signholdage stuff.
And we will see you next week.
Bye.
Thank you so much, Joe.
That was awesome.
That was really fun.
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