TigerBelly - Episode 145: Hila and Ethan Klein
Episode Date: June 6, 2018The royal couple of H3 stops by to talk kumquats, power balances, courting with steak, the Sun God, hunters-gatherers, glory holes, the evolution of the phallus, and Cliff’s Lumberyard.&nbs...p;Support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today
Hey
Baby
I'm just saying like they're out. I don't care about my thumbs hide your fucking Wolverine thumbs
I don't give a fuck. You know what they call them radishes
Baby, okay, I'm sorry
Five four three two one. I
Believe in you
Do you believe in me?
Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly. I am your captain. I am your leader
Captain Bob Bob Lee Bob Young Lee. No one knows my middle name and I just threw that out there young
Why are you and G not why you and G that's those other gooks?
All right, we've got
We've got
We've got this white
Fucking piece of shit right here, and I love him so much man. I love you, dude. I fucking love you, dude
George we got George Kimmel man. We got his fucking handsome, but retarded fucking white cousin or whatever
You know mean that guy we got
That guy Gilbert go long go long go go long go and we have my beautiful princess my beautiful princess
I'm call I like you and I met her on Tinder. Everyone knows and
Five years deep in a relationship and it's going well and wow what a week
What a day we've got we got really we got two really special people in the room right now and
you know
Listen listen a couple of months ago this white guy George said oh fine. Everything's good
Said you know have you heard of h3 podcast and I said um vaguely because you know, I don't really know much, okay?
But then I googled it and I knew immediately after I googled it
I go I have to do it and I did it and I met these two
Ethan and Hila right and they're the they're they're a married couple and they they're the leaders of
another cult called the h3 podcast and
I didn't think that they would ever come to our compound
It is a compound our compound and
But they did and here they are give h3 podcast Hila and Ethan a round of applause now you can talk
Yeah, you have a bit of a ritual at the start of these yes, and you make the guests very uncomfortable
Because you're very serious like you're joking, but you're serious. I'm never serious because you said don't talk
Yeah, you make it a joke, but it's very serious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I've seen you do it before too
Is that part of your ritual? Can I why do you know why I do it? Is it a power play? I want the power. Yeah, yeah
I need a power on my court
Right and I need to win it. Okay, but the thing is is this though. Um, I respect you
I really do I you guys remind me of us right you guys are bigger better better better
You guys are bigger and better, but we're very similar in many ways, right both Asian
We have the same watch
The shark watch no way. What are the chance? I'm not wearing it, but that's my watch either. Where's that a lot? Wow?
This is my watch. I never take this off. Wait. It's the same style and pattern same color and it's not that
I mean, it's a popular relatively popular
We're already connected. Yeah, what'd you get that cuz you bought yours on like Amazon. Mm-hmm. You got yours on Amazon
You look those deep on weird stuff like that
Yeah, yeah, you know also we're similar is is that we don't deserve our girlfriend or what? No, yeah
I'm I'm around myself of that every day. Yeah, because when I looked at you at first. I'm like, yeah, no, yeah
But now that I know what's in the inside
Yeah, you know, you're you're like is there a fruit that looks ugly, but this delicious in the inside
I'll come quad durian. The durians are some quiet that beer cunt really justだ homes your kind of a come-up
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know no. I am I'm definitely a come-quad
I don't know how I pulled her because when I met her I
Wasn't successful. I was much I was even fatter than I am now
Yeah, I was unkept and I looked back and like damn I was a real come-quad back then
You guys met in Israel when you were on your
birthright trip right? That's right. And so like how did it happen like how did it
go down? I mean at first it wasn't much we were just kind of like we were just
hanging out like I don't know on the same kind of headspace or whatever yeah
but then after after birth right he went back and then we stayed in touch on
Skype and then he was actually very like kept hitting me up you know I was
persistent persistent persistent I don't want to be working Freeman right now
no no no aggressive yeah it was also very like he was playing guitar
dating I was like I don't need to play this shit anymore and I stopped playing
oh really wait wait let me ask you this so you'd be Skyping yeah and you're like
hold on a second I want to grab my guitar maybe let me get it
would you sing a ritual yes I wrote a song for you fucking sock baby if I did
that right you would never have dated me it's borderline pathetic yeah it
sounds like pathetic but it was it was pretty special oh did you do poetry too
or just a guitar well I think that my playing is kind of it is it is and so
how long did that take and we talked about it on when I was there but it was
like a year people a full year of talking on sky you waited a year you the
thing and even then even then I went to visit for two months and then I went
back and then there was another year of skype there was a man involved too on
her side that I had apparently a handsome muscular one right well she she too
I had one but no you had a Spanish football player yet a rugby player in
Australia to know it's good it's good to know that a couple guys like us can
muscle those guys out yeah well we had to put in so much groundwork I know but
that sucks that's what that's why they lost because they're like I'm a muscular
I have a huge day but like I don't have to try and then you you swoop in with
the songs right all right right with the hay yeah yeah yeah don't lift up her
skirt like Morgan Freeman yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well
you know what um you I guess you what we are lucky in that way because when I
was a kid I used to look in the mirror and I used to look at my reflection and
go you're unfuckable I did the same you know what my backyard when I was a kid
are you kidding are you real not being real I'm I used to I thought I was
unfuckable there was a mirror there was a window with that was very reflective in
my backyard as a kid I was probably 12 or 13 at time maybe a little younger and
I would stare at that mirror yeah it was a window you know it's funny it was a
window to my parents room and they must have seen me on the other side just being
like so reflective I didn't say it but I would be like damn you are so brutally
ugly quite sad are you would say that to yourself I would stare at myself yeah
be so sad about yeah but I said I do somewhere in my life I just stopped caring
about it yeah I used to spit at my own reflection did you really just spit on
them are you kidding yeah go okay no I'm not kidding you and then what were you
thinking yourself when you do that well here's the thing is is that um in my
20s is when I looked in the mirror and I said there's something interesting going
on but when you're a kid and especially being a minority I mean I'm not trying
to pull that card different than a lot of people that I lived in a
little community called Green Valley in Poway and it was a lot of white people
and they among they stand amongst themselves I knew some flips you know
her kind you know what's a flip Filipino are you full Filipino half but I grew
up there for a long while I was there until I was 15 she's half Filipino half
human right white but anyway
wait shit on a tire race on the entire Philippine country I was kidding it was a
joke and I it came out we were like just don't talk about race yeah tell me
more about flip but yeah I mean it's like I I didn't really own up to my
um sexiness and until my 20s it stand-up is what really changed my life gave
you confidence it gave me a thing you know if here's a selling point that's
it that's very good that's very clever that you said that when you met her what
was your selling point besides guitar playing my selling point was that did
you have big dreams I didn't have a good one I'm gonna be honest with you I think
I was just a sweet terming guy if I'm just he was it was very that's all I had
it was very different you know cuz I'm from Israel and the Israeli guys are
more like the Jersey Shore yeah yeah yeah especially where I grew up they're
like that do you know what I I think that sweet and charming I think I was
just different and yeah it was different I think I'm giving myself too much
credit no I'm gonna tell you why I didn't have a good answer to that and I
still don't know why I'll tell you why I don't even know you I don't even fucking
know you either than that well you know I'm I did I mentioned that one time on
a h3 went at your place right yep and this is our second encounter really
let's be real okay but there's something about in the inside the why do you
think people listen to your I honestly don't know I'll tell you what it is all
right you're funny and you you're just an entertaining guy and I can see why
you know keep going good also I was very closed off person I was way worse
than I am now like I wouldn't talk to anyone I was very shy and he kind of
made me open up for some reason I don't know yeah I mean being on a podcast
probably wasn't even in your wheelhouse of thinking that's exactly how I feel
you know when we first met he outed me with so much like personal information
about myself mm-hmm that wait what do you mean outed he like we first our
dating he talked about how I had just gotten an abortion in fact I heard while
I was at the clinic I heard a prerecorded podcast talking about how I was
about to get an abortion okay oh don't worry about it I paid he was like cruel
about that make you feel pretty awful but there was a part of it that was so
liberating mm-hmm there was a part of it that was like okay it's called freedom
lady yeah do you want to fly yeah it's like your shackles are gone you're
welcome on around you know man there was a part of it that made me take this you
know this deep you know sigh of relief like okay fuck it it's out there I give
up I'm not trying to cover or you know so anger and relief no I just yeah it was
a little bit of both can I just say this yes it was an accident okay I was
talking about the abortion on a podcast and I didn't know that cameras or
anything was on and then even after they said I think that we recorded a little
bit of it I said don't air that part and they did anyway yeah is that true that's
100% and then also secondly when she called me and said hey my my homies are
listening right now and you just in it she was upset were you angry at the guys
that's pretty well it's he's a powerful guy so I didn't really want to yeah you
know I mean who was it David Chow oh you know no he's an artist yeah and so
anyway your pot I'm gonna see his podcast okay we've kind of like the Andy
Warhol of downtown LA yeah yeah and I didn't want to interesting scream at him
because um he implores my brother my brother works with him and there was a
cool thing so um and then on top of that I thought she was gonna leave me and I
have 16 years sobriety at the time I had what 12 years right and now I went to a
bar to relapse oh no that's how devastated I was so you know let's put
it in the context here I mean I fucked up I did say it I'm sorry but he
continues to say it on every single podcast because after now that it's out
there it sounds like it wasn't really your fault he says it's so much that
when I'm on a pot on a someone else's podcast by myself I talk about it well
I find that like you know when you expose you're embarrassing you know your
character defects or things that you've done that are embarrassing or I'll never
tell anybody you know that I've told everyone everything I don't know if
that's healthy or not I think it's good I've noticed that about you and I love
that about you like I like the Down syndrome guy molesting you yeah it's
just to be able to just say that and move on I think it's live I can see
liberating to you and I think it makes people respect you too in a way this is
like oh fuck like how do you come to terms with something that dark that
casually you know yeah it's interesting and it's admirable but I did it as
survival mm-hmm you know I did it out of just to keep my career going it's
weird it what happened was after I was on mad TV I've talked about this before
many times but I'll do it again it's okay people want to listen to it I am I
couldn't work and nobody wanted me in the town you know you know I was that I
think I you know mad TV had a weird reputation around town at the time it
did it there wasn't it nobody became a star after that show at that time right
and it was just seen as ghetto and casting directors would be like now I'm
not gonna see him he was on mad TV and whatnot and they would say that I mean to
my reps and they would get the information and I was like I don't know
how I'm gonna and I was at open Anthony in New York and this is when get Greg
Geraldo and Patrice O'Neill were still alive right and I went on that show and
they ripped me to pieces about what just about how fat I am and they just came in
they all yeah I mean yeah they were just ripping me apart to the point they were
doing pranks on me and it got to the point where I got up from the show that's
and I fucking laugh that's so fucked up like almost crying wow and I'm like I'm
never gonna do that again you know and then the next year I'm back in New York
and I look at my press pack and it says I have to still have to do opening
and tickets and they're like I go I don't want to do them and they're like you
have to that's the only real big one you have but this time when I went on the
show I exposed everything up front and it took the power away from them you know
it's like they couldn't use anything against me because I had already like
thrown it out there so I threw out I was it sucked dicks before that I that was
all from that one interview yeah dicks I was molested yeah I just went blaze
it's up now yeah and then they were like oh material then he gets to get his
girlfriends information so he's not just talking about his deepest darkest he
takes our deepest darkest and he throws it all out there it's a bad thing it's a
character defect and I did you feel powerful in that meeting did you flip
the tables or was there did it work for you not only did it work but it became
I became friends with all those guys from that counter yeah I mean those all
those guys like especially like Jim Norton him and I like I just did his
like a couple weeks ago when he's in town he calls me and we're good buddies and
I think that it also taught me how to do press and how to do what my thing is and
um you know a lot of times when comedians go on the road they'll tell
like the DJ whatever he just mentioned this and I can do a bit right so how's
your mom or my mom you know they do a bit from their act right and I'm like I
don't want to do that's like not real yeah so I talk about like how I really
feel about things and how I feel about my life and um I think it really well you
just being genuine yeah maybe you do that organically well I don't have bits
that's why I mean yeah I wish I had bits no you don't I don't have any bits you
don't do stand-up I'm bitless your bit yeah yeah so that what that's that way
you just do it that's your thing then yeah it's just to talk and how you feel
and I like when I go to a show like this what I tell myself before because I
hate when I feel like I'm trying to be funny so what I says to myself is don't
try to be funny be boring that's my thing to be like just be your that's how I
try to psych myself into being genuine be boring don't try to be funny no but
that because I hate when I'm trying to be funny and I see myself being like hey
I'm on and that's real like coming up to this building in the car we were like
okay try be boring
are you being real that's what you said to each other
that is so fucking great because I get stressed out you know like before I did
hot ones I was fucking losing my mind cuz I love that show so much yeah and I
love Sean Evans and I love everything they do and I was just like be just be
fucking boring that was my mantra yeah just don't try just be boring just
answers questions you know and did it work out yeah it's great right did you
finish I finish I finished to yeah but here's the thing with that one is what
I do is this is I so I also don't listen like when I did hot ones I didn't know
anything about it and yeah and the one of an assistant at the agency that I'm
with goes I think I can get you on it I like I don't want to know I don't even
want to do it I think you should do it like everyone's that been you gave me
the list of people I got that's all I want to know about it I'm not gonna look
it up why just that's because if I if I think that it's like you know like
today I got Anna Ferris people calling you want to do Anna Ferris I know her I
know I'm a fan right I think that she's a great you know I like I watch her in
movies I go that she's great I was in a movie with her she was in the dictator
she was you know I had five lines but it doesn't matter but we did spend days
together you know I love her but because I have this thing I elevate her right
it's gonna fuck with you need you know what you're you're about power balances
I feel like
balancing you're very aware of power balance yeah like with you right I didn't
really I knew that you guys were big but I didn't read it you know even in a
different way you know you're big in the same way you're in the fucking same way
but I told George I go I didn't want to know your names until one I've met you
guys until right when we walked into the fucking thing
what are their names and I go okay and I walked in by the way that show is great
fan favorite one of one of my favorite show it was I got so many good response
so far yeah yeah I guess so I got so what's this I like power move is that
what I do oh my god that's you know you tell me about your parents do you have
powerful parents yeah well how you don't know my fucking parents brother got
hit by a keyboard yeah my dad was violent he was very violent and
alcoholic he was a rage a holic and he he was just kind of like a bad dad I
think you know he's sick now and I love him now but growing up I just remember
like in the back of our house it was like a trail and in the trail you could
like go and there's a cliff and I used to walk to this cliff and sit there and
just look up at the stars and go can you please kill him I mean the cutest
little god yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and god never did you know about your
mother my mother was talk about this now I want to I'm not afraid of anything my
mother is um also very I drove her to violence oh yeah I drove her to violence
I can believe that why do you you're just your mom hit you and you were
justifying it by saying you were a little shit or well no I think my mom
generally isn't that violent but she couldn't that was the last tool in the
toolbox she tried every thing yeah the way she explains it to me is that he
didn't know how to receive any form of love or affection or attention it's like
everything that she tried sports or even just Bobby's hyperventilating
she just didn't know like he was he was just like a little Tasmanian devil
basically and you responded to violence yeah I mean no I didn't respond I
responded negatively to it but um that was at the end her last thing you know
was they would punch me in the face well and because siblings yeah Steve too
Steve though my brother Steve growing up was the one that was like the one he got
straight A's he was the choice well not in his 20s he fell off but younger he
was like a Christian went to church you know was on the wrestling team got
straight A's it's only later in life where he became me and he he grew up
under the same conditions that you did I love what you know what I love I love
what you're doing right now do you know what you just did can I want to tell you
what you just did sure you pull the Tom Seguro just now today yeah he's got a
trait he's got a patent no no what he does was he he when he was on our
podcast and I want you I want you to do it I want you to keep doing it I want to
keep you doing it I'm not taking it away from you right yeah we're talking about
power balance right now yeah yeah but the thing is is that what he did was he
became the host and you switched it a little bit and I like what you're doing
no I like what you're doing following the thread and but that's your the thing
is is that I want you to have your power too yeah we're gonna go 50-50 yeah
all right so what was that scene with the gnarly black dude and Arnold strike
hands from Predator was that from Predator well Arnold
Arnold Schwarzenegger yeah yeah yeah there was a yeah I don't remember that
move that was us right now no wasn't but I guarantee it wasn't you're doing
right yeah but what was the question about my mom what's that
yeah yeah what's the hatred between you and your brother three years so you guys
grew up under the same conditions well I mean you know here's the thing it's
is that there's you know immigrants come here and they go you know the rules are
just get straight a listen yeah and get straight a's yeah especially Koreans my
family and you'll be fine mm-hmm I didn't do either one of those things you
know I did drugs at early age well I think the mall a station when I lived in
Minnesota when I was nine or whatever got me all like twisted up and then when
we came to San Diego at 12 or 11 I I found marijuana and skaters and
Filipinos that you know you know you know you know I you know I don't mean
that as a joke what what it is is that you have to imagine I lived in Minnesota
where all I saw was white people Minnesota is a rough I mean that's a
weird place to grow up kind of yes yeah especially in the 70s yeah in an
adyna in a Minnesota it was like it was you know but then I came to San Diego and
on the other I live I grew up in Poway but on the other that's town next to us
was Panaskeetis Panaskeetis is high school Mount Carmel was 60% Filipino in
fact my senior year my senior year photo is in the Mount Carmel yearbook do you
know why why is that because when they they use the same photographer and the
foot I was in the Poway high school pile and they couldn't believe it so they
put it under the Mount Carmel pile and I was in the Mount Carmel fucking yearbook
my senior year someone find it wow yeah somebody find it I never went to Mount
Carmel so well it made me I do believe it actually and could I assume because in
my head I was like can I sue yeah you could have come up big yeah where your
parents able to appreciate that you were became so successful that you kind of
you turned it around right because you took out very unlikely
were they able to appreciate that are they able to appreciate that I like this
making you feel uncomfortable that was a question don't tell me I'm gonna give
me the quick give me the question where are you parents able to appreciate your
success my parents well you have to understand that you know when you're
you know you have parents that grew up in a different country there's no stand-up
comedy there you know I think my friend Danny chose out there right now trying to
start up a movement but that's it's 2018 and they don't have it yeah so
imagine you know my parents grew up in the Korean War as kids and they went to
school there and my dad was a street hustler like he was in the military
became but as a kid he used to like Thieve and he used to get a lot of street
fights a rough yet a rough one yeah right and then when he you know they
didn't meet in Korea they met here and my dad stalked my mom pretty much damn
would you like that's aggressive yeah he at her doorstep she had to move out of
LA and move to Wisconsin and my dad follower she didn't know him at the time
she did meet him and no and she didn't like him whoa right so he's very
persistent stalked his way into a marriage yeah and then what he showed up
in Wisconsin with a steak it was probably a nice cut nice cut nice like a
cowboy Texas cut right right and she was like in I guess in Korea that's a big
deal yeah and then she was like I don't think they hit the violence she saw you
know you know guys they play that game you know I'm gonna beat this lady when
I'm married she deceived he deceived her and then they had us and he started
drinking heavily and then um he would get on these like alcoholic rage episodes
and um you know my brother and I grew up but you know what here's the thing my
also my parents my dad was fairly wealthy he had a bunch of like clothing
stores we grew up with summer camp and when I turned 16 I got a car you know
I mean so there was a lot of things that I did get that was cool you know do you
have good parents my parents are pretty normal yeah I would say normal you have
siblings I have two siblings are you the oldest I'm the baby you're the baby I
was coddled I definitely had the best of the three but I want to say I'm really
impressed by yours I just want to say I think you're sorry I want to tell you
survivor as well you know you know what was your upbringing like my parents my
dad is very like old school so it's kind of hard you can connect the dots on
old school well like the old school mean he's a he said it to you no no no like
you mean like old school way of raising kids you know what I mean a belt the good
old way a belt not it wasn't it was never like aggressive towards me physically
yeah but it was always scary like if you push him it may go there it didn't
with me but you played by the rules yeah you did because I was scared I'm still
scared of him yeah you know when she came here yeah she almost didn't come he
almost talked her out of it really but she that's probably the closest yelled her
out of it eating you is not pretty sure he did hit your siblings yeah it happened
a couple days really yeah so was he just not was he disapproving of you or
disapproving of you moving everything yeah and how old were you at that point
21 21 did you did it does he like him now your dad you know as much as you can
like someone really that's a high so if you go to Israel and you see her dad he
smiles he does smile but you hug like yeah okay we've been yeah they've been
through a lot really yeah what is like arguments interesting thing yeah he
doesn't speak English and I don't speak Hebrew which is also a reason that he's
mad at him for not learning Hebrew but he's the kind of guy who's mad at
everybody yeah something his the family's been like it's so good that you
don't know Hebrew trust me yeah you don't want to know what's coming out oh
wow yeah but like the funny thing is that when I came he'll live with me for a
year in America and when her visa her travel visa expired I didn't have any
other option was either move to Israel or break up right yeah and because there's
this whole weird thing about if you're Jewish you can just hightail to Israel
and they give you citizenship so I did that but the weird part was that I went
and lived with her parents whoa so it was very extreme for how long we were
months yeah we were we were like but um he didn't let us even sleep in the same
room that's old school we lived together for a year I live together to be
together and he made me sleep in a different room how did you guys hook up
we found a way that's the same way dry humping is exciting yeah you just go
back to the basics the beginning that restrain it makes things a lot more
interesting yeah it's okay it's a threat yeah you know well the thing is if I get
caught I'm fucking I am getting killed he's missing a finger he's old
oh yakuza did he do it through like some sort of combat or who's born
without it just from working with like heavy machinery yeah that's the way I
bend Israel do you know that I didn't know that when what's the situation what
do you mean well I got a call from some sort of like what was it like the
government like no there was like tourism or whatever we fly on celebrities
out here really like to do like a free vacation or whatever yeah you didn't
have to work they're just like come on it's just to promote so it was they
put by the me Steve Byrne George Lopez like a bunch of us minorities minorities
yeah minorities in PR yeah in show biz so I flew out there and we did all the
tours we went to the fuck and on this the Dead Sea so cool right so great I
love it there it's like did you go to a muddy beach yeah the mud is so nice we
went into the I was in my mind in the mud like yeah yeah I felt like your
people yeah the Filipino people live in mud huts I was like I agree I love
everyone Koreans although imperialized by the Japanese at one point now hold
this very superior type of complex towards Filipinos yeah really yeah the
whole the whole dynamic between all the Asian countries it's very strange it
is Chinese the Japanese the Koreans they all have these weird little opinions
about each other in fact I think that Filipinos are very racist towards
Filipinos I've heard Japanese are the worst right well historically yeah they
fuck they rape and pillage the Filipinos so we we have a we have a very
similar history with the Japanese or sentiment like the Koreans do because
they I think around that time of World War two the Japanese were really awful
just rape everybody I'm no friend of Emperor here it though I'll tell you
that he convinced everyone he was a Sun God yeah that's pretty good that's very
persuasive talk about power dynamic yeah oh by the way I am the Sun God oh you
are if that's what he says oh yeah yeah yeah he's like yeah by the way and then
he although you know Americans when they create a sneak attack Pearl Harbor right
they always that's what they always say was a sneak attack what they were supposed
to call in advance war right it's like you know you read this as well called
Roosevelt hey Sun God here by the way how's the family anyway tomorrow we're
gonna attack by I mean I wouldn't know they're gonna sneak attack so that was
clever what they did a nice Pearl Harbor segue thank you that's a little bit
because it wasn't yeah I felt orish now yeah Pearl Harbor is interesting like I
don't feel anything towards it but it's like we have our own Pearl Harbor 911
is our Pearl Harbor is not special um it was similar in many ways correct well
but civilians civilians warn here's the difference between Pearl Harbor 911
yeah that is the attached civilians yeah and they used our own equip things
against us right right and um it was just more devastating I think 911 yeah
911 was a is it the worst it wasn't it it was a doozy it really was it was a doozy
yeah a doozy yeah that's the word I was too young school I remember yeah yeah
what I think that's what Bush said he's like boy that was a doozy how old were
you when 911 I was in high school I remember my specific age but or maybe
I was even middle school I didn't even you know comprehend what was going on I
was homesick my brother's like hey airplane just hit the World Trade Center
and I was like fucking cares you know I was sleeping it was like 8 a.m. right then
I get up and like the second one hits the tower and I was so when thinking back
I'm stricken by how and I was really just didn't care about it yeah I was very
apathetic I just put on cartoons and went on with my day yeah I mean you're a
kid though yeah you're a kid I was a kid but it's just it's it's for me I was
working at Matt TV stuff but still early did it affect you well Andrew
Daley who was also on Matt TV his cousin was on one of the flights right so when
I showed up to work it was obvious like Andrew wasn't there for like a couple of
weeks and it was pretty brutal man you know I remember going to the comedy
store the next day and we had three comedy rooms open and in each comedy
room there was a riot a riot people just fist-fighting comic there was like
oh like yeah people just punched being the shit I was like wait what was the
conflict the conflict was people were like they did you know you know when
something bad happens in in the world right and you go to the comedy club you
can feel it in the audience you can feel it with the performers it's just not
really a good place to be because because like comedy and it's an emotional
place it's an emotional place and you get it somebody like who's I think one of
the best comics in the country which is against this kid Rick Ingram or Ari
Shafir one of these types and they will just say things right just to shock
people or whatnot it'll it it'll just ignite bad time yeah yeah it's a bad
very bad yet exactly right so that night I remember it was just so fucking
awful there and it was terrible but I enjoyed Israel a lot you know I went to
the we got to cut in line yeah they're just like hey don't worry about these
yeah like because we're at the like we would you had a chaperone we had we were
like having dinner with like mayors and governors of like districts and stuff and
so we went to see so we were like come we were doing this tour and then we were
in this room and I lit a cigarette yeah and I was smoking this and they go don't
smoke here I go why this is where the 12th supper they had the last supper oh
oh they did that they no let me ask you something how do they know that that's
the place I don't know where were you have you heard of it yeah yeah it was
somewhere in Israel we're in a room that this is where they had the last supper
you're all smoking yeah I'm like how do you know that I was like argue with them
I go fuck you know that though I know that there's there's a lot of like Jesus
places there yeah we went where they were they lynched him I what do you call
that they got him they got him where they got him and then I remember when so they
had the slab with a slab where they had Jesus's body they had the Jesus slab
they had the slab there and I remember Steve burn Steve burn the comic was on
his hands and knees touching the slab crying and I never laughed hard I went
into a cackle that no one's ever I went out of my mind and I took photos of him
crying he offended yes everyone in line was everyone there was other people yeah
there's a line that's eight hours long just to get to the slab they took you
to the Jesus spots did they take you to the juice spots no they didn't take you
to the Western Wall or anything yeah they did that yeah that's that's the
juice spot I love that spot but the little they got the little notes in the
wall I didn't know I didn't know and it came true the little note I got a show
I want to get on network TV track second in there yeah yeah wow yeah and then we
went into um that's big of you to wish for thank you thank you that was a very
bold selfless wish thank you I thought so too but it came true and I thought so
too yeah yeah sometimes I have to be honest yeah sometimes it is brave to
wish for yourself because you always have this compelling like oh I need to
wish for but sometimes you got a wish for yourself I always wish for myself
good for you in fact I don't think he's ever wished for anybody but you know why
do you know why I don't wish I do I do for other people I put that in action
right I wish for myself fucking notes I don't do notes for other people I get
into action alright we have this work in such close proximity to each other
similar to us you ever like get into it or fight and then have to like kind of
restart or regroup on the podcast oh so on the podcast yeah never on camera yeah
right like a real argument no yeah never on camera also not really at the
office because the podcast we do at the office yeah so public yeah you can't you
can't fight there so you just kind of your tongue let's say for instance like
what's your line like what if he says something just so inflammatory you just
kind of like bite your tongue and what's my thing what is it have you ever had a
thing or you might not have I know that I can be really annoying let me think I
have my thing is like if I if I do something annoying and I'm annoyed here
I know what it is when I'm in a bad mood and I'm like really irritable I'll blame
her for every stupid thing like if I tub my smile if I if I stub my toe on a
chair it's like damn you know why did you leave that there yeah and it's like
I get so upset yeah like what is wrong with you yeah have you gotten the fight
where you cried yeah together a long time yeah I was gonna say when we when
we do our videos we do those at home and it's just the two of us and in those
cases it happened that we would argue yeah yeah that's true okay so that's what
happens with us often too because we this isn't live like crying in an argument
is unfair I feel like you know you can't after that you know that's like
there's nothing that can like you know it's a cheating move you can't control it
oh I cry control it when they cry when they get pulled over it's a little
unfair we don't have that why don't you try it I think anything you can be the
most he's like sir he's like sir yeah hold on one sec he leaves back with a
double this cross yeah yeah there's no one you call you're not cute yeah he
might shoot you you should try he why crying when you get I can't cry have
you cried when you put people over no but I've panicked so bad that they let
me they let you go oh that's another but I I was just like I was just drive it
was in Israel I was driving and I was holding my phone and and there they're
very strict but like you can't even look at your phone it's like it's so weird
out there it's like you know when I was in Beirut you know sometimes there's
like military there and they're checking things it's a little it's much
scarier than in Lebanon than in Israel yeah yeah yeah it was not as much in
Israel Israel's much more stable but there was one day where like I didn't
want to do a tour thing I want to stay in the hotel and in Israel and I was like
I'm gonna eat and I go where where's the meat that we don't do meat today like
some sort of holiday or something oh oh meat or something well so in kosher means
you don't mix the milk and are you you're not done with the story no I'm done
okay I was doing this just to go I agree with stop talking I don't want to
religious Jews are kosher they don't mix meat and cheese so oftentimes at
restaurants they'll say today's a dairy day or today's a meat day that's what it
was I think some cheese but why don't they mix it's just one of those weird
things Bible yeah it's in the Bible so no beef stroganoff do you guys eat shrimp
stroganoff it's also not cream or what you can they don't stroganoff it no no
seafood like only fish you can eat fish but no shrimp like lobster no wow
because they're bottom dwellers who knows there's actually there's something
to that though cuz shrimp is the most like biologically costly thing to eat out
of the ocean you're fucking up the ocean shrimp yeah a lot of people will
guess that the reason was that it was a lot of they say is unsanitary that's
what it is about pork and stuff and that's why they cut the dick off that
you know they circumcised because it's cleaner yeah but they do stuff like
religious Jews they put their dick through a hole and fucked her wife that
way too and I don't know what's that all about will they do worry hole yeah
they're all right but religious glory they put a sheet on and just a little
hole for their cop which is I that's my fantasy to fuck like that you don't have
to see my body a ghost for Halloween I'm like I don't you know if you did that
you could fuck me you know wait what yeah wait wait wait wait you just missed
Bob's what can I have a thing too well I wore the sheet like if you were to
fuck me let me just say let's just say scenario I would go get your Brooklyn
the sheet right Brooklyn I put it on my body you would poke a hole in it we do
it beforehand probably right I bend over I stick the sheet over the hole where my
butthole is no what I would do is just put my dick through and then kind of do
like a make it a game yeah if you have sheets then what that's extra safe yeah
that's not both but I think it's a very challenging it's very difficult to line
the asshole up yeah in that way when one of us needs to see I prefer shooting
I prefer yeah why would you want to put a hole in that wonderful Brooklyn right
that's a high quality problem why do they do it why do they do it that way why
do they why would you explain that yet why they do it that way nobody knows why
did they forget nobody knows it's some stupid it was some really brutally
disgusting Jew he's like I got a nice cock but I'm so nasty here's what we're
gonna do cover my body my dick goes through the sheet I don't nobody has to
face my awful body wow that's in the Bible it is yeah it's like when I heard
like like men in like in the Muslim world when they fuck a man in the bottle
that's not really is that gay that's just considered gay it's just having a
good time is this fact it is no really I you know it's not documentary or
something on it you know air hour but you know and the Arab guys are they have
a strange tendencies where they it's not unusual to see two Arab men holding
hands they'll just walk around with their body and they hold hands oh really
strange stuff but if they see a guy sucking a deck they'll throw stones at
right yeah yeah would you and I be able to hold hands you think Gilbert I hold
your hand for how long long but what will happen is that you'll be you'll
start really oh my god he's too comfortable then you'll try to take it
up a notch he was researching yeah I was trying to remember why the they put
the hole in the shit oh yeah you get anything I think it started from some
story in the Bible where a guy had to what was it have sex with like this and
the wife of his brother so like to make it I totally get how it's fine it's good
we're good why cuz his own wife couldn't bear children something like
that oh yeah so you and I like enhancements in
handmade stand in Gilead they repeat this phrase where they say like when so
and so couldn't bear his own or couldn't bear this guy's children his
brother offered up the wife and that's why the the premise of the handmade
tale is that you technically give so it's me let's say let's say we were in the
handmaid's tail yeah and I offered you up to my brother Steve so that's not how
it works in Gilead and handmade stale they have desing women who were
designated just to bear children yes they're captured they're raped by their
you know commanders basically yeah and they're only that's all they're just
carriage basically that's all their body is wow and I think that that's that
reference is the same I think we saw I think we cracked the nugget on that you know it's you know it's like the worst thing about when I watch movies I can't do rape scenes
you're sensitive to it I'm very I don't know why is it because of your own
experience I've never thought I've never really thought it through but don't watch
well it's not it's all rape yeah it's not a pleasant you know I can see
pillaging right you can burn things down I don't give a fuck one of the worst
things yeah well you can kill I don't care in a movie yeah but when it's rape
I have to either like there's this movie called irreversible and there's like a
ten minute rape scene in it in a tunnel it's so believable I haven't seen it but
I think I've heard of it you've heard of it yeah it's like literally a ten minute
rape scene and literally like you watch it's a second of it I just turn it off
and I walk away I hate it I jerk off but there's something about rapes rape
scenes or rape in general that I find appalling I don't know I don't know how
many rape scenes I've seen in movies Game of Thrones Game of Thrones who's
raped in Game of Thrones Khaleesi was Khaleesi was raped that's right yeah
oh also the girl was raped by Ramsey right oh yeah there's a lot of rape wasn't
that is that was one of those interesting rape scenes where she she get
she's in she gets into it Khaleesi she eventually actually yeah I think that
she was she started to fall in love with the possibility of having power I kind
of overrode her like this thing for the guy who raped her or maybe she understood
it from a way of like just the Dothraki this being some like cultural thing
rather than him really being like this rapist right it was a different culture
yeah right you take on a wife and that's what you did yeah against her will I'm
gonna ask a question do you think rape is only shocking now I mean it's probably
been shocking all throughout the history of mankind but if it was prevalent five
or 600 years ago when there was right when it just happened when people like
armies would cut our average soldiers would go into a village and rape and
pillage right it's just a part of you know shocking then or you think it was
always horrifying it was like you hear about the like the monk the Mongols
they used to just fucking rape everybody but yeah it's awful yeah what I think
about is like if you go back to like cavemen days yeah do animals rape like
monkeys and gorillas and stuff because you know the male penis is is made like a
pump so that you fuck and you suck all the jizz out so that your jizz can get
in I swear to God it's the word you got that head because it sucks out the jizz
as if we went with what jizz well there's science alert I love in the
scenario there's rape is so prevalent that it's just like sucking out the
other guy's jizz this is a bad image oh oh oh I see what you're saying but this
what you're saying is this suck up the juice because the penis head is like a
pump right it goes you know I know you're saying so let's okay let's say you
and I were gonna we're raping we're raping a villain humans have raped
enough that our dicks have evolved to suck other people's jizz out of the
vagina oh my god like that's right that's what the penis head is it sucks
out I swear to God but another theory is that villages back when we were
hunter-gatherers they would all fuck way more monogamy wasn't a thing where you
would have a village of people and and a bunch of dudes would have sex with a
woman and they would all raise the child together so bio biologically you were
competing with all these other guys you were all having sex but you didn't care
about whose child it was it was the it was the village's child whoa that they
used to do it then like that when they were hunter get when we were together
yeah would you have been again I would have been a gatherer yeah I would be
picking berries I'd be weaving back I'd be looking for roots I'm a basket guy
roots I'd be like clogs whatever and they'd be like hey we're gonna go hide
hunt bison I'd be like you go ahead I'm gonna finish with this basket yeah right
dream of being a gatherer to this day yeah me too I wish I would go hunt you
would you're a hundred you're hungry really yeah how about you Gil I'm gonna
pick berries yeah we'll pick very good very very good very this is very
progressive gender role you know I know I'm not I'm not picking up a spear yeah
I'm not doing any that also can I just say this out loud I never said this out
loud oh I'm not a hero I'm a coward I don't say that I'm like I'm just a
coward if I ever got drafted the war I'll tell you right now I'll I will go to
prison not because I'm some great conscientious objector yeah I'm just a
coward or I'll go to I just know like if they said you're drafting grafting you
I will just tell everyone okay guys that means I'm dead so I will say my good
eyes would you be a draft dodger then no I will go I'll just die I'll gonna tell
everyone called George I'm going to the war so I'm gonna die like 100% this
doesn't even you would be you would be or you would just be like that's what's
happening yeah I would just go I'm gonna go I'm gonna die and that's you know how
fortunate I feel like the fact that we belong to a generation that never got
drafted for war one of the greatest treats of all generations to ever exist
on this whole planet in human history wow that's interesting we never had to
fight a war yeah I mean well it's true who are fighting wars volunteer for
exactly not volunteer I mean these are all imagine when they use them for you
had to serve in the military right two years he almost did too in Israel but
he got out of it in Korea they have it you have to serve like two or three years
right here in the middle but in Israel you they're like you get a little hairy
over there yeah did you actually see combat when you did it no only only
once cuz I wanted to I asked him to take me with them yeah she's a hunter they
shot at yeah they shot at you yeah oh my house we're scared I was pretty weird
we were we were in a Jeep she was an armored driving oh my god just some
high-level commanders in there like a really risky area yeah and then there
was like it right here no oh my god oh my god and did you smile like you're
smiling now or well did you what do you do I mean do you crop
if you cut in the past and we saw that and she was doing that that would be the
funniest thing I've ever seen wow you know when I went to Israel they took us
to a board like where the people that you went whatever the hats where they
call them what the Hasid no there was like on the people that are there were
the blue hats or something the religious Jews no they're like UN UN oh not UN
not UN was a religious thing what is it who are they no they're you know there
were people that were Israeli but they were just guarding the border or
something okay and we went to this area and you could from the distance here
machine guns and things being blown up yeah I mean just closest yeah when I
was there there was like for about a month there was a daily rockets coming
up from Gaza and we were living in Tel Aviv and fucking air sirens going out
off it was to cover it was really unusual because usually they didn't
reach Tel Aviv before it was the first time they reached Tel Aviv oh my god so
it was unusual for people in Tel Aviv to experience that it was weird it was weird I
don't know much about it but can I just ask a question
can't you just split up Jerusalem 5050 it is already split up 5050 I don't know
5050 well for example the old city which is the really the part that everyone's
fighting over one I don't want to say that but everybody's really obsessed
with the old city which is the biblical part of the city and that is cut up into
perfect quarters from after World War two with like the Christians the Jews the
Muslims and there's another group that I'm like the genonites or some weird one
that nobody really wrong they just got hooked up so that's what so they it is
split up like yeah I grew east Jerusalem you don't that's that's air that's all
Arabic there's a lot of there's a lot of places where you see everyone co-existing
but the problem is the extremes on both sides the Orthodox Jewish people cause
trouble yeah and the terrorists yeah well you know who do all the terror attacks
on the other side they cause the trouble yeah but I feel like if you ask most
people especially my age they'll be like just do whatever it takes just they
don't fucking care they're do the two kind two state solution do whatever it
takes I mean there was a cab driver in in Beirut who had a fucking tattoo of
Hitler on his stomach really so I have to say it was so fucking
shocking Arab world anti-Semitism is very real yeah but I'm not gonna say if
it's warranted I don't know they fucking always hated the Jews they always I don't
I don't know but like we're not gonna solve the problem yeah we're not so we got
right now but but you know what surprised me it's good to just to kind of
talk about it yeah it is um it's it remains to be one of the just dilemmas
of the world that we have to deal with mm-hmm and it may never be resolved it
doesn't sound like it will ever be resolved you know the closest we ever
got we had this was his name the the Israeli Prime Minister the one who got
shot and Robin Robin was that his name there was this guy he was really close
to achieving peace with the Palestinians and get and who killed him a
Jewish guy a fundamental Jew who thought fuck these guys let's not make
peace and he took them out it's not as if they're making money or there's no
money tied to it it really is you know strictly about God the religious yet the
religion well the Palestinians are definitely being fucked by everybody
like they that's got to be one of the worst places to live in the whole world
yeah Gaza specifically yeah and and the thing about Gaza is that like Egypt's
got the border closed Israel's got the border closed and Israel despite having
given up like autonomy whatever they still control they still control yeah
they regularly go in there and kill terrorists they control the water and the
power and all this shit wow so is there McDonald's there in Gaza possibly I
think there might be a Starbucks like if I was there could I go to a Starbucks you
might this some of the images I've seen are strikingly civilized wow but it's
still fuck cuz you've got like how many people there I don't know the exact
number but it's what it's the most dense place in the world it's just packed
unemployment's like 50% but a lot of drug the regular people there are I mean
everyone feels bad for them even on you know the Jewish side oh they're just what
can you do they're just stuck there Hamas is like yeah there's videos of like
people celebrating a wedding and Gaza and then Hamas rolls up and is like no
celebrating and fucking shut like they're Hamas is insane insane and then
people try to give money to Gaza the government powers Hamas and they take
the money and they use it to build weapons so it's like you're fucked
they're really fucked on all sides yeah it's just one of those sad things that
you just you know I you know I think about it sometimes and I just go there
is no solution and that makes me even sadder really to be honest with you
what are we gonna do I mean I don't know where no I live that you think I did
that I you think I brought this conversation into this area I'm fully a
thousand percent interested I'm part of the reason I left is because I was like
this is too much like it's so like just having just living there and being on
YouTube is just so polarizing to people yeah like when like honestly when we
started doing YouTube we hid the fact that we were in Israel because we just
we're like we didn't want oh started age three in Israel yeah no the podcast no
no podcast has been around for like a year oh the video like five years wow
what kind of videos would you make is it like like a podcast or was it sketches
and stuff sketches comedy all like oh wow so we had like I remember we would
like cover Hebrew writing and shit like that yeah yeah yeah and we're just like
I don't want people just because we didn't want to necessarily be don't want to be
about that about that yeah yeah yeah you wanted to you know not be boxed in to
this like oh you support Israel yeah yeah yeah and and because it's so
complicated to a lot of people I have a good friend who is Lebanese and to him
the simple even the simple fact that I went to Israel to live with my wife is
enough to make for him to have disassociated with me wow and it's like
dude I'm not going there for political reason I'm literally going there to be
with my wife because I don't have an option yeah to him is like wow that's
heavy enough to disassociate with me like I am I'm a coward bro I'm not fucking
shooting yeah you also couldn't come to a wedding because he's he's like my
closest friend and he was in Lebanon which is just you know so close to yeah
really oh you guys got married in Israel yes wow yeah well we had to yeah for
the green for that green card it's so funny because it's like you know aside
from like the religion stuff and you know whatever I'm Korean she's Filipino
what do you he's a he grew up in a really weird Christian religion what was it
called 70 70 70 70 70 70 70 that's a weird one right yeah we worship on the
seventh day follow kosher rules a lot of vegetarian oh no weird no no weird like
sexual stuff oh god bless it's just they're not a lot to dance though they're
not dancing do you dance now are you still part are you still religious do
you did you enjoy dancing now more than like most yeah reige with it too right
yeah 70 and event is God bless you guys are good old boys right where are you
from
they're good old boys but listen like look like listen to this is incredible
yes we got these freaks right we got this freak we got you know you we got
right we're all from different parts of everywhere right yeah with different
ideologies and if you don't think about that and we're just around each other and
we're just talking we're just we're just regular human beings yeah it's really
frustrating cuz that and like the way I always thought about is like I'm just I
was just born here I don't care like I don't know the history and I don't care
we're all just people here yeah people I have to choose sides and that's the end
I'm saying that's why the reason I left is because like I'm like this isn't my
fight and you know I think since before she knew thought it wasn't her fight she
never belonged there and it's like I don't really want to be involved in in
this because when you live in Israel you start to learn things or maybe you're I
don't know if it's a brainwashing thing or you're just you're with the the club
right you're with that tribe yeah so it gets through to you yeah before I went
to Israel I was very pro-Palestinian because I went to a very liberal college
went to UC Santa Cruz and there it's like they literally have protests on the
campus of like Israeli soldiers executing Palestinians and I was like
okay yeah that's totally what it is but when you go there and then you learn
because you spend time with that tribe and you understand all their talking
points and shit and you see it's just so confusing dude yeah I mean I got even
by go visiting doing this tourist thing I posted a couple of photos because that
was a part of the deal and the backlash of me just going it was insane yeah right
it's propaganda I can't believe you took chose sides I just wanted a free trip
to the Dead Sea but you're like float on the on the sea without any fucking
effort but it's so I hate that because it's so counterproductive it's like how
are we gonna make progress if you're telling people you can't even go there
and talk to them because you go there and you talk to them you learn about
them you learn what you know what's an interesting perspective yeah what am I
just supposed to shut out that whole part and just take your word for it yeah
like what the fuck do you know yeah it's crazy it really is crazy but um but
we're here yeah we're not one when one here he was brothers is really and he
said to us just the other day he's like I meet Palestinians here all the fucking
time and we love each other we always get along here yeah it's just over there
that we all hate each other it's crazy I have a friend I have several friends
they're Muslim and it never comes up I never talk about it you don't even think
about it yeah and they're just loving people I know so many Jewish people
they're just the most nicest loving people and it's like and then when you
hear about this conflict it just boggles the fucking mind and I'm just you know
I'm not a part of it I'm just observing but I'm a part of humanity and a part of
the human race and I just want you know what Rodney King said I forgot what he
said remember the spirit of what he's yeah yeah yeah I forgot what he said
but he said something about having a dream and stuff people right people
great yeah people are people people are great and I love people right if we just
abided by what that guy that black eye said remember him remember that sweet
right and you know when people say Rodney King was what sparked the riots it
really hurts me okay because there was many things that sparked the riots
including that Korean lady who shot that black girl that 16 year old black girl
that's what I here's I want to say anything about Koreans I know I make
fun of the the Filipinos a lot and other goop places right but I want to be to be
sensitive about it yeah yeah I would say about Koreans man they can be
bastards and what that lady did right shooting that young teenage African
American girl for over nothing right it's a shame on Koreans and it's
something that we have to correct ourselves as well race do you think
that it was a race thing with a Korean lady yes yeah yeah yeah and it's like you
you're gonna open up liquor stores in impoverished areas to take it you know
it's a drug basically your drug they're taking advantage of you're taking
advantage of yeah you're selling them alcohol right which is a drug right so
you're a drug dealer and I understand you want to make money but it's like you
know I get it from the other side too definitely I totally get it and you know
what people are allowed to browse you mean it was that mean like you know I
know they get no like when people come in like what people walk around you're
allowed to browse sure they say no browsing just like that you touch you
buy you look you buy yeah you I can't look at the ingredients calories or the
calorie count fuck not right fuck you Koreans let them let them know let them
know let them touch them bro no no yeah let them know and if they steal out of
shoot them I'm kidding now I'm kidding you can steal let them steal steal don't
shoot call the enforcement I played a lot of Starcraft 2 and I learned a lot
about Korean culture yeah because it's like huge they're like game esports and
gaming is huge there and it seems like a real really strict really tight tough
tough people it it there was a Korean lady that was I just saw this on an
Instagram a Korean lady who disappeared okay she was missing for 10 years you
know where they found her where in a gaming cafe just sitting there that is
sitting there for 10 years playing a game wow she got so addicted that she
decided to just cut everything off that's real yeah you see that other
documentary about we saw on HBO about the Japanese couple who had a baby I
think I've heard right they had a baby right but the baby died because they
didn't feed it for 10 days because they were in a 40-man raid yeah and then
guess what they didn't go to prison and guess what they had another baby right
but the game is fun though but it is a problem yeah I play that's all I do
yeah I could have been way bigger than this than I am without what fucking die
someday you're gonna die you're gonna die too you're gonna die too happy to
hear you're enjoying you're gonna die to eat them because you can work so fucking
hard yeah not spend any time playing video games yeah and you're gonna die
at least you've spent some time enjoying what you love can I ask you a
question yeah you you and I we're probably not gonna see each other after
this again huh I kind of I hope that's not true I know but I just have a feeling
but the chances are that but I want to say this I'll probably I'll probably I'd
like to have you back on our podcast some time only that but it can you
invite us to like a barbecue or party no strictly professional no would you
comment I just think that if we weren't like we you know if we weren't in this
podcasting thing and we know we're busy with our own private lives but if you
and I were like we lived in Indiana let's just say we lived in Muncie right
and we worked at some sort of lumbering place right okay and you and I didn't
podcast at all and you were still a Jew and I was still Korean right it doesn't
matter you know we are who we are we are right then you and I after work we'd be
like hey you want to get some bruski's you'll be like all right I think we're
cut from the same block yes so but I think in because we are who we are that
we're not gonna come do you guys want to have a barbecue sometime yeah so what
yeah invite why don't you have a barbecue sometime yeah I would love to we
really was he doesn't like leaving the house ever yeah okay I'll toss an
invite your way we just moved to a new house we got a pool we got a spa we got
a barbecue if you have I see you I hate it it'd be weird but you know what we
need buff yeah we have 60 people coming I guarantee we'll go okay 60 60 people
that's what you need to be 30 whatever you know it is it's still a yeah yeah
I do that or you can do 30 I can do 10 you know the 10 you know the 10
all my dad what are we doing time wise we're over an hour wow that's amazing
you know when we have good guess it the time flies does it not doesn't exist it
doesn't exist time there have been many times I've done this podcast I go where
we are we've done 15 minutes really do you cut it out when you ask you don't
really leave it in because sometimes that's like yeah it can be like a vibe
like come a thing now okay it's a thing I always have to know but the guest
doesn't necessarily know it's a thing so you're like what time is it yeah yeah
50 minutes only 50 minutes in 45 minutes I love it so you you guys do
generally do about an hour huh because he can sense it yeah I can sense an
hour yeah I think that's just how my incrementally I work well in like 40 50
minutes past that I start to I'm the same yeah and we like our last episode
went on for three hours oh shit and for me that's like a night it was bad yeah
you look up DM me wrap it up wrap it up who you with and he doesn't read it it
was just us that week oh my god you three hours is you exactly we did a lot
of work prepping the show I don't do any work but I like it's a different vibe
and it's good in a different way when you just come in and have the
conversation be natural it's different and it's better in a different way we
keep changing it sometimes we do that like no planning and this time we tried
like I don't know more planning yeah but yeah we don't work well when we plan
we don't yet we have he loves he thrives off of the chaotic nature of like or
even the pressure of you know not knowing what the fuck we're gonna talk
about although we have we've had to pause and where he's his he hasn't slept in
two days so there's nothing coming through yeah but the thing is is this
though is is that I don't care right because even when it's like chaotic and
like it's weird and I got this people love it cuz that's what it is it's
organic no they like the rawness that's what we discovered when we stopped
editing it but you guys don't let me ask you this or did you think that this is a
good one or a bad one I enjoyed my time I thought this no what do you think I had
fun did you think it's entertaining for people I think I'm gonna tell you this
right now it's really good I'll tell you what I thought I just like when you
came on our podcast that we have a wonderful natural dialogue you're a
very funny guy you're quick and sometimes I'm not sometimes I don't
even know what I'm saying we had a very view we had a wonderful natural yeah
that we're natural that's what I'm saying it was great but you were not a
natural if we were in Nebraska we told these no no Indiana Muncie Muncie we
are not say I totally I totally cut a hole but in LA no no no no but I can
already imagine that the lumbar it's called Cliffs
Cliffs lumbar right and it's got a red awning the building does right and it's
got some sort of weird like a mill on the logo as a logo this is Cliffs right
it's like a fantasy almost yeah and Cliff had I already can imagine it Cliff is
dead but his kids like his legacy his legacy relives on and what do we do we
just hang out there and have a couple no we saw things we were there at the
lumberyard we saw where you but we're gatherers we're not SARS no we don't
know you know in modern day sawing I don't know why you have to be cool you
have to wear goggles you press buttons yeah and then when the siren goes off
you and I run away and then you know I mean Damien place Damien Cliff Damien
got his arm chopped off and we do and I ran away and we got fired right and then
we went to we look at some Bruce keys what's the brand of the Bruce key it's
a local brand called it's Willie's Willie's and Willie's beer we love Willie
draft house and that's what the club is we go to Willie's draft house in an
alternate universe is a beautiful loving friendship right and then you go
hey I got some sheets at my house and you know we're a little drunk what do you
think about that story I don't know but I'll go to your house I like sheets let's
come over here my house all right so I go to the house I really love these great
sheets but I'm gonna cut a hole in it yeah yeah just perfect size for my whole
real and then what happens the next day is we don't talk to each other again no
it ruins and you move away then we meet in LA do a podcast together what if they
googled it so at the end of our little thing here that we do you too is is
that we do a thing called unhelpful advice and you know we you know people
email us and we try to give them either I love that helpful unhelpful I want to
steal that bit you can do whatever you want can I steal that yeah would you
have a bit like that in yours well we have voicemails where people call in and
leave a voicemail we and we play it but we get I feel like we want to do that we
don't we don't just call people we actually call people you actually call
people live yeah okay so that's what I think I feel like whenever we take
live calls it's kind of always a disaster so I was like hey what's your
favorite color yeah like like he just leaves voicemails for people that's
interesting I mean now are you which it's like a network like would you be a
talk show host do you think or no like we've actually been having the
opportunity to make our own show yeah but we passed why because I think that we
are probably better off like managing ourselves I know and honestly I'm not
I'm not a good writer I'm not I think I it was scary it was scary no you would
have a staff correct yes right so you would come in and go I'm good at like
people throwing me ideas I go no yeah I like that you know I mean yeah so I'm
not dumb I know what what my muscles are in comedy I'm not that much of a
writer either I mean I've written things before but I would have you know three or
four really funny you know creative guys and but the thing is is that I
should think more like you do than the way I think about it because the thing
is is that a lot of times I go out you know I'll go to a comedy club or I'll
even go to a cafe or wherever it might be and people will walk up and go Tiger
Belly and they'd say Nosotras papaya or things I say on the thing or you know
that George has a pink dick that's a thing that we do because he has a pink
dick really yeah and or like have you seen it yes you've all seen it yeah what
was that night like well it's a nightmare oh it tastes fun yeah yeah I
nightmare because I don't want to see his day never did he was doing one of
those jumping in the beach photos and that fell out it was a show it was a
showcase yeah yeah yeah but the thing is that I should look at it look at it
more like a day Adventist you look at your show h3 as the actual thing right
it's the thing like I've arrived this is no I don't feel that I'm so confused
about what I do if I'm being honest I I'm perpetually unhappy and unsatisfied
with it it's so funny because a couple days ago I get a call from Chris Delia
hmm and Chris goes on should I do this h3 thing I go it's fucking amazing that's
so cool thank you dude not oh you're not done you're just not only done I did not doing it for you yeah
yeah it helps him yeah right but Delia was like I'm gonna do it has he done it
yet no it's coming up right yeah but he's gonna do it right yeah yeah but my
point is is that so you it's already you're if you're getting people to go
I'm gonna do it mm-hmm I want to do it tell me about them and I'm getting those
calls then you've already it's you're already a thing that's really exciting
it is you're a fucking thing already now that's great to hear but what I have to
say is I have to say what I'm trying to twist it is I have to realize that
Tiger Valley is also a thing yeah right and I'm always going how do I get the
next thing right I do that too it's so annoying but it's annoying but I should
already go I already have the thing it's like self-torture you can't you can't rest on your like
we can't let ourselves be happy yeah it's always like that's oh this is great
but this is already like not good enough they say it's always like they say who's
they it's a proverbial kind of thought that you know the people who are always
not satisfied are the ones that are always pushing to higher ground right I
come for myself with that because I'm always dissatisfied yeah I mean there's
a level of like discontent but it's pretty good and healthy sure you've got
to be at least yeah I have a little bit a little sad okay you know what that
went well I was happy with that or else you're never ending really done yeah no
I feel the same way I I swear to God I'm fucking I'm very depressed and miserable
person I think I do think I think I'm clinically depressed at least you guys
have bought two barbecues we don't even do that we just sit in our whole we don't
do that much we're not like out there flipping burgers every day it's like I
only all I ever wanted was you're right I would been telling Kaila like why can't
I get on a show I got on a show it gets picked up for a second season and people
go hey congratulations I go oh yeah but you know I'm fifth lead or like I just
say some sort of bullshit negative thing yeah yeah and it's like it's something
that I've always wanted to do the thing is when it's so dumb and I hate that
about human nature and about me when you become the guy that's like I'm so
fucking stoked I got this job there's something very unfunny about that right
people who are like spiritually balanced or actualized or content they're
never fucking funny never it's it almost seems so weird to me that I don't
trust them oh you're satisfied with your job tell me about what's in your
basement yeah bones human bones yeah you know I have a friend she always talks
about like past life regressions and being like being as some type of
spiritual leader and she does like hypnotized like hip she hypnotizes
people and she seems so like seemingly balanced and perfect not only is she not
funny but if you met her in real life she's a fucking nutcase like you just
feel like dude just stand at least ten feet away from me like you know don't
point a knife in my direction she's scary but but is there is there a balance
yeah there's some there's a there's a rare breed of I have some people who I
know that are that do enjoy balance in their life but it's I have to tell you
I think it's rare because I have a lot of friends and showbiz and I was just
talking with them last week they're all fucking miserable it's never gonna end
as basically we're sorry isn't that why Macaulay Culkin got out he's he had that
whole career but now he's going no he's back he's not Alan he just did Alan is
he back in the show no no oh is he he was a trolling people I don't like it
confused brothers out there no he's no he just did Ellen he just did Kimmel he
is because he's promoting his podcast oh yeah he gets to go on Kimmel to promote
a I don't know fucking asshole does that even help I feel like Kimmel like who are
you talking to you know what I mean these people aren't podcast no they're not
see that's another and how stressful is it to be on Kimmel I don't even think it's
equivalent exchange I don't must pass on that because I'd be too stressed yeah
but here's another interesting thing that you just have done I wanted to end
but we can't break the record if you go I'm not gonna break the record it's not
that over hour 30 that's the record yeah yeah so what I'm saying is okay we're
not breaking the record he won't give that to you powers but here's the
ultimate thing that you just did but we're gonna this is the you know I'm not
gonna even say what I was gonna say this is that it's so funny that you said
that because there is a different group of people I'll give you an example I get
Tiger belly ten times a day I get mad TV you know five times a day zero times
have I gotten splitting up together that's it come they got right and I go
around no one's ever said anything I love the show yeah I love you on that
right never right and so what I'm saying is is I know I look at the numbers and
you know we got our opening week and we got eight million viewers that's all
hell of a lot of people but these are people I'll never see what is it you
know what that's what kind of frustrates me about what we do is because when we
talk about something we'll have someone on the people really respond yeah it's a
different vibe what do you mean exactly what I mean I guess is that the
connection with our audience is way more direct and way more profound yes so
if somebody comes on to promote something I think they'll get way more out of it
than Jimmy Kimmel with five million people right a million with us is worth I
think way more than five million with Jimmy Kimmel and it's frustrating that
people don't understand that because a lot of people like who the fuck like oh
pot you know what I mean they they snub it's so funny because my numbers on the
road I can see it ticket sales because I do live shows right and when we started
this and I started doing age three on these other things that I do I tripled
the amount of my shows I sell out now that's before by doing all the other
stuff zero that's great okay so that's true like it's so true nobody
watching Jimmy Kimmel gives a fuck I don't know why it is but people are
sitting at their computer they're listening they're connected but it's
people on Jimmy Kimmel are sitting there with the fuck in their bed with the
remote and they don't listen our stuff people choose to watch and something like
Jimmy Kimmel you don't really that's a great fucking point nobody wants to wants
to watch Jimmy Kimmel it's what's on there it's just there that's a great line
from Seinfeld they go they said when they're pitching the show they say why
would anybody watch this in George goes because it's on TV
Rodney King said we love each other forever but it's when you said that's
interesting so what I'm saying is is that so at the end of the day and let me just
close it all up by saying this what time is it
a little more man question yeah I know it's gonna I want to get the
record I wanted to ask you about starting Valley starting Valley you talked
about starting Valley was a big hit on my podcast it was just talking about this
little game that had over 300,000 views and the people on the subreddit were
going crazy they love all they were done I moved on I did two characters with
stardew I I got $10 million or $15 million per character which means that
I had all the wizard stuff like the towers and the golden the golden clock
where it takes all the debris it just gets to the point where it's like I have
so much money I don't even know I mean you can go to this casino and buy this
statue from the sky which costs a million dollars but I had 15 of those I'd
cost I spent like $15 million right oh my yeah and then you're in my kids are
running around and everything and then you just get to the point where you go
oh I'm 47 and then I started playing this other game called Far Cry 5 intense
I like that I never played loved it is the best one out of all is there ever a
game you play it when you don't play after like five or ten or 15 hours and
you're like oh no I'm 47 like what games don't make and part of the joy that's
lost for me is that I'm like I always have this feeling like I should be doing
something else even though I hate that I want to be in the moment and just enjoy
the video games well you know I when Jordan Peele got that Oscar right I
thought to myself right this is a drill because he's the one that introduced me
to video games yeah he's the one that introduced me to I remember going to the
GameStop to get Morrowind right he's the one that goes you got to get that game
because he's like in the RPGs and Bethesda so and then he stopped playing
stopped smoking pot and in that now he's now you know he's a you know Academy
Award winner right I'm I mean I even if I didn't play video games I would never
be able to do what he does because right but my point is is that I could have
achieved more but the pleasure that I get from it I'm always your I'm Oscar
outweighs an Oscar throw that off no I before when I was working at desk job a
day job at 9 to 5 yeah I would come home and play video games and it was like
that was my joy you know and I feel like that Joe is gone I don't know if it's
because I'm depressed I don't know if it's because I maybe it's because I'm
depressed I don't know but I feel like there's always a there's always like a
sensor me that's like you should be doing something yeah and you know what
that's a normal healthy thing I just don't have that I refuse to get it you
know there's a balance I'm gonna play tonight I'll give a fuck what are you
gonna play tonight I started over with I finished Far Cry 5 and I started over
with it I finished and it's a grindy game too did you play got a war I hate
slashers he doesn't do PlayStation oh no you know I don't do PlayStation and I
also don't I don't like slash them hack them stuff you know me I like it's
very RPG though too I know it is okay that's great but I like I like Far Cry
because um I should play Far Cry I like sneaking yeah I like taking my
binoculars and scoping out a compound open world and finding out where everyone
is right I like figure out how to get into the compound without anyone seeing
me right I like throwing rocks you can throw rocks stealth boy yeah when you
throw a rock the characters go who's that I guess the coast is clear and so
they'll go toward the rocks and sneak up behind them right and I got and I kill
you get a satisfaction what's your favorite game of all time he's trying to
show yeah my favorite game of all time I'm not the whole is the fallout is
fallout I was wondering if you were a fallout guy which one though I really
enjoyed the last one for yeah I never played four because everybody says oh
it's just like three no it's not even I love fallout fall out and I skip the
whole fucking thing because everybody dissuaded me no fallout four is a master
piece because it's not new Vegas it's way better because okay I'm gonna play it
then I'll tell you why new Vegas is better than new Vegas because new Vegas
there was no house right oh you like the house aspect I like building a house
from ground up huh you could be too you can whatever what about the rest again
I don't have all advice go ahead do what a dark one our relationship give me a
dark one I'm helpful advice with Bobby whoa and h3 hey everyone my name is Matt
and I'm 25 from Ontario Canada over the past ten years I've been dealing with
severe depression anxiety this caused me to be withdrawn and secluded even when
I would like to go out and be active at one point it was so bad that I ended up
losing a great job in telecommunications industry as well as my
relationship with my single father because I simply couldn't find the
motivation to even wake up and go to work I ended up becoming homeless for a
short time before being approved for government assistance since then I found
a home and after getting my father to one of the therapy sessions I've been
attending he seemed to start to understand why I am the way I am even
though everything has seemed to have gotten better on the outside looking in
I can tell you today I feel worse than when I was homeless damn every day
seems to be worse than the last one I can't seem to shake the feeling off I
have no motivation I have no sex drive I have no creativity I have no real
hunger for anything this feeling has caused me to attempt to commit suicide
about a month ago and I was wondering if any of you have dealt with similar
feelings before what have you done to escape them I thought of looking for a
girlfriend but I also don't want anyone to have do the right do the
relationship one again star again what do you think I can do to help move on
and escape these feelings thanks for taking the time to read I think there's
something else going on I think it did did he say he does drugs did he say
that no drugs I feel like there's I mean I'm I don't know it does it literally
reminds me of the introduction to Eckhart Tolles the power of now you know he
was a guy who had no lust for life he was living in a one bedroom I think
living in Canada as well it was cold he was sitting on a mattress and he's like
yeah I'm done with life right and then he had a spiritual awakening at the
middle of the night and his life changed and he created the philosophy of I mean
living in the moment is probably in the Sermon the mountain and whatnot but he
that was his thing I think that reading that introduction and reading that book
would help this person individual I can I just say it why got a sigh he got a sigh
because you know it you know you sigh but let me just let me just kind of just
give me a second okay you're flexing I don't know why but here's a quick let
me just say what I want to say okay is the whole philosophy even in 12 step
groups they say one day at a time but that's not what they mean what they mean
is live in the moment okay because most people walk around they live in the past
and in the future what's gonna happen in the future and they worry about what
happened in the past right and the thing is is that I used to have a sponsor
named Dan right when I was 17 years old and used to step in front of me right
and go and clap now here here here and he can you out of your head yeah right
right here now now right and used to get me out of my thing you know a lot of the
torment 99% of my torment is in my mind of course right yes I'm stuck in my head
and I'm thinking about everything but being here right now in this present
moment and you you balk and you sigh baby okay but but what I'm saying is is
that flex you're correct I just don't I think that if you're getting everything
that you just said applies to most of the population but having been somebody
who has been so deeply depressed and has attempted to take her own life that
doesn't quite apply because I think that here's a person who is so just bereft
of like every ounce of everything in his life I don't I think that he is
explaining and describing somebody who is truly and chemically depressed and you
can be the way I always used to feel was you could put surround me with
everybody that I love on the sunniest day of the year in Disneyland and if I'm
feeling that pit of depression there's no getting me out of that and it's just
that a chemical imbalance that's just keeping me down there irrationally well
there's there's there's different levels to approaching depression like
especially one that's severe right first of all the guy he has a desire to get
better that's the first and most important thing he recognizes I'm sick
there's no joy in my life and I want to get better so that's important he's
still has hope Bobby is fucking snoozing no I'm listen this is how I listen you're
in deep yeah I'm here's actually wrap it up don't wrap it up no no no that's
what it is so now just let me just say something before I'm not gonna say
anything about this situation okay I heard everything you said I'm hearing
everything you said but for me to not you know interrupt and really take in
what you're saying I have to close my eyes and I pretend that I'm sleeping but
don't take that an offense to it okay I'm gonna I'm gonna be like cuz I've been
speaking mostly to you because we've been having a direct but when you're
nodding off don't do it but then if I if I if I'm like look at your eyes if I'm
like this I won't be listening yeah close your eyes I'll close my eyes everything
your sister start over so yeah so he's got a desire to get better that's first
most important that's that's good he's still got the spark in him okay the thing
is like when you're that depressed and you're that you have that you're that
hopeless you you need to force yourself to do things like he's it's so easy to
just get stuck in bed and be like I feel like shit and there's no fucking reason
for me to get out of bed but on the other hand and his mind he knows that he's
depressed and he hates that he doesn't want to get out of bed so what do you
need to do you know what you need to do you need to go out of bed you need to go
for to apply for a job you need to go do your laundry or whatever it is you have
to force yourself to do it because you know that's what you need to do even
though you don't want to do it yeah you have to fake it you have to fake it and
fake it and fake it that's you get your shit together but just by sheer force of
will yeah I think that you do there is an element you have to sort of white
knuckle yourself out of that and I had a really good therapist and I was in my
teens and we used to do weekly contracts of things that I would force myself to
do and I think that really really helped I mean even things like something as
simple as working out or even raising your you know your endorphins just a
little bit of a battle and you went and you won that day yeah and I'm somebody
who like lives with extreme anxiety like I don't think there's a minute in my life
or like my palms aren't like sweating profusely or like you know I'm trying to
like I always feel like I'm trying I feel like I have to get out of a
situation that's always what my body feels like like even if it's something
really pleasant like I feel like I have to flee and then was someone who's that
clinically depressed yeah chemically depressed you need you need help you
professional help yeah and you need drugs drugs are there for people who
they're really effective and and it helps people who really need it there's
two types of people who are depressed there's people who are like
circumstantially depressed and there's a couple things in their life that bothers
them things about themselves that they want to approve and if you've tried all
that stuff because most people in my opinion don't go through the effort of
actually confronting all those things they don't like about themselves to get
out of that rut because it's easy it's it's much easier not to but if you've
gone through the effort of doing all that stuff and you still are faking it and
you're still depressed then that's when you do drugs yeah I agree but that car
sold also really great book power of now right no a simple thing like that you
never know what's gonna spark yeah one Japanese word I want to say Kamori oh
yeah shut-ins yeah he could come worry I um that's my that is my that's how I
feel what heaven would be like being a shut-in yes I don't want you think I
want to communicate with people I'm a depressed guy myself you know I did
drugs like you know I you know I did everything I could to fill that hole
inside me I fucking hate it my one of my biggest fantasies is to shoot heroin in
a trailer in the desert and die true I mean that's what I want to do right but
you know I have parents and my brother and people around me that love me and
rely on me and I have to try you know I have to try to be a part of you know so
I get I mean I'm probably not clinically depressed like this person that just
emailed but you know I get you know what he's saying you know so you know I you
think I want to read power on that you think I want to read self-help books you
think I want to go to an A meeting you think I want to do any of the things
that I do to get out of you know but I don't but I have to but you're still
right it might you know you might find something that like sparks you know a lot
and try something but that but the part is being open like okay grab the book
read it you have to be willing and desperate to find yes to find your
answer I feel like or die or die I feel like the fact that even wrote this
message and got to for us to answer it yeah is a really big and he was able to
express it eloquently yeah when I am when I'm in that depressed mode I feel
like I would never even bring myself to write that message and send it so that's
true that's a good well what a wonderful podcast how much the time it's
very close to two hours and that yeah is that the record you're gonna cut it
down there really isn't nothing about this podcast that I need to cut out
there was that one part we used to drop the N word with like a hearty you guys
should probably cut that that's not gonna be caught the nothing's about this
pocket to be caught and I know you say that the pleasure was all mine thank you
so much no I'm being real did you have a good time you or no I did great I love
there you didn't feel like you felt comfortable right sounds like I'm being
sarcastic but like the first time we sat down I thought I had a wonderful time
it's funny I felt the same way you know I felt like it flowed and I felt like
nothing was forced and I tried to be boring myself and it came out
organically this little tool that I learned from you powerful to be boring
yeah and well I also learned that um Tiger Belly is the thing is that my
foundation and that's another thing that I found out you know from you and I
also found out that um you guys are cool you know so give them a round of applause
guys up if you want to promote aside from h3 no our dog Shredder dog Shredder is
the best he's the cutest little guy you love I met Shredder yeah he's
letters the best he's like life-changing a little guy he is no I just think I
love I love every I love this I love this you guys rock thanks for having us
here it's you guys gonna have kids yeah we're actually trying we talk about a
little bit on the podcast that everyone around us is having kids and shit now
babies and doing all this shit and it's just it's not happening for us yet but
we're trying I'm gonna go squirting a cup soon yes I'm gonna freeze my eggs this
year oh really just in case yeah it seems average from what I've seen it's not
like it's not like Elmer's glue it seems like you do like marshmallow style no
it's thick as fuck like you could like me is that a compliment are you
complimenting me I just feel like you have you know I can't tell that's a
compliment but I think it is really thick condensed what's the theory he
thinks that it somehow his works better I don't know what's your come look like
really thick and very small baby dollop yeah I don't even think it could be
measured in a cup but it's thick so it's basically what I'm saying it's potent
it's condensed it can dabble do you yeah but it's not you can see the white
right I have a good ball I have good volume have your smelt your own come
well I haven't I haven't like directly gone it up to my nose but like
sometimes you'll jizz in a rag and you get you can smell it after it dries yet
smells like um to me chlorine yeah yeah I find it to be a pleasant smell do you
I don't like it at all when I smell that I'm like it smells like rock bottom if
I'm being honest but I thought of the things that come out of your body right
it's probably up there right that's true pleasant if I had the smell of all the
things that come out of my body that's the best like shit is probably the rock
bottom shit yeah but I mean I don't you know I generally don't shit on the floor
of my I understand what you ever shit and then look at it and go yeah yeah
every time you have to love anyway sometimes I wipe too much I can't see
it though you know what I did the other day you know what you know what happens
to me that's that's cool I clenched it yeah like a pie like a shit and the
other like a tip it wouldn't come out so basically I just had an open asshole
with like a little bit of poop you grab it no you have to grab it you suck it
back in push it fine like so that's all the way out yeah and you grab it wait
what did you do I look I grab yeah I wait for the next fucking the next time
oh my god it becomes the front of the next human centipede imagine your
asshole as a factory okay so I'm making Twinkies for instance right so one
Twinkie is not fully formed right I stick it you know and then the tip the
back end of that Twinkie the front end of the new but you can't you gotta suck
it back in or you you're in or you're out there you go sometimes he's saying
that it's still at the front of the next of the line yeah yeah it's not you need
to refrigerate it I'll tell you why I know it's not a back end because my
underwear looks like from your ass you know how do you get fucking the skid
mark I don't I do well saying is that it's not all the way back that's not
what it is what it is it's a little bit open and there's still the tail end of
the movie for fun it is uncomfortable I don't like it okay but that's how we're
gonna end the podcast these baby wipes do I sometimes when I'm on the road I do
but baby wipes sometimes I don't I let it hang you always end with a what it's
becoming a moral problem of apparently the flushable baby wipes are not
flushable they're not they're lying to you what would they become kind of a big
conflict in my life I'm being honest oh really because I'm a huge bait I love I
live and die by the baby wipe do you do dry first and then baby wait at the end
can't start wet otherwise your whole world is broken I'd start wet but anyway
to which is on you start with what to say he uses paper towels to pay oh you
go with paper towels he's slow-knotting right now how many times do you wipe on a
single he needs traction I I'm gonna about to say something so truthful to
you I'm gonna say something so truthful to you it's gonna boggle my minds no one
ever taught me how to do it and I think I'm doing it wrong I think I'm doing it
wrong tell me about it yeah no wonder you know I do that I do that I do that I
do that I always get chastised I do that too I was my balls in my dick and I
cup like I don't cup I let it fucking I was right yeah that's a big no-no for girls especially well I don't have a vagina but you know what
there was this one time allegedly first started dating where the ball smells a
little bit like oh you know and that's when I I figured that he probably was a
back to front why whoa anyway I'm not talking anymore okay and I tell I think
I've had it's embarrassing yeah yeah what it's over in college one I had a girl
who was going down to me and she's like it's a little and I she was doing some
ballwork yeah and she was like it's a little like spicy like what is that yeah
and I was like I don't know I was stumped by it and then only years later did
I realize I probably got a little shit on my balls and that was yeah let me ask
you this I know can I ask you this what's more disturbing what's more
disturbing if you're eating a girl out right and you smell poo or you smell blood
poo is way worse well they're both bad don't get me wrong the blood is
happened to me and it was it was horrible blood and poo you got it too
for she was dead that's why anyway I'm done yeah I can't you know five more
minutes would have been exactly two oh we're done that's just like that oh that
was a hard cut yeah guys will be right back usually just runs off wow what a
great podcast what a long podcast I am so deeply in love with Illa record I
often on the record let that be known that I think that she's my soul sister
yeah there's so many things about her that I feel like oh shit yeah she's like
my kind of girl more importantly you guys have the same watch you're the only
person I've ever seen with that watch no that's crazy cuz I mean I know that
freestyle watches freestyle watches not a lot of people like wear them but not a
lot of people wear this specific one yeah and you know you really got to kind
of dig to find them so yeah I thought that was a real life connection there any
show dates for Bobby Bobby will be at it will be in Seattle this weekend the
7th through the 9th and the fall next week at San Francisco punchline go to
bobbyleelive.com for tickets great oh my god Kilbert what a wonderful cup you
have in your hand oh this is just a tiger belly mug the first and only an
exclusive mug that says nosotros papaya on it wow you're a lucky man to be
holding such a relic you should be on QPC maybe it's not a relic what a hair
give me I need to be do better in my QVC moments yeah you're good you have a good
QVC smile we have a matte black color in eternal bright green shade of my
favorite color along with a beautiful little papaya drawn up by our artistic
extraordinaire Gilbert Galon so please purchase the tiger belly mug when are
they available Gil who knows just look at our social media hey with us who knows
that's the fun of it right who knows what the tiger belly merch these are dope
though oh but George what is that on your body
yum or yuck I would say this is the first time I would have to say yum George
yeah not to your face but just to like you know your chest area and if you are
on audio you got to jump on you got to jump on the social media or
YouTube so you can see that what George and what I'm wearing which is a new
shirt that will be coming out with yours truly supreme leader Bobby Lee when
who knows it's tiger belly merch but soon but soon we still have to put in the
order for the full version totally at least a couple we're not out we'll just
stay soon who knows or maybe yeah yeah and then how is the puppy Mayday right
oh Printer Fritter you guys if you guys are interested in adopting check out the
pictures on my latest Instagram post or you can go to at Mayday rescue and fill
out an application for the little guy he's six weeks he's already weaned and he's
the cutest little thing so do that oh I want to say one more thing because I'm
not gonna do I still have time Bryce yes okay I did my really good friend
Jeremiah Watkins podcast last week and it's called Jeremiah wonders and I might
have said a little bit of a whole lot of bullshit on there but I wanted to help
them out and promote his podcast so you guys please listen to that it's called
Jeremiah wonders Jeremiah wonders and support your fellow a papaya and
listener of this podcast at Rebels refinery by finding their men's grooming
products at Target or get 20% off at Rebels refinery comm with the promo
code tag your belly and if you're watching on this video George is holding a
beautiful black skull lip balm wow everyone make a meme with Kala's face
right now and shout out to everyone who wrote us a five-star review in iTunes
remember to sign your name if you want to shout out a few recent reviewers
Brandon Nielsen Eddie Danko Brent Radcliffe and Jason Brock keep them
coming and if you like small bite-sized Tiger Belly highlights and clips check
out the new Tiger Belly clips channel on YouTube and to follow us on Instagram at
Tiger Belly on Twitter at the Tiger Belly and emails any questions unhelpful
device questions at the Tiger Belly at gmail.com you can follow Kala on all
social media at Calamity K George Kimmelat, Bryce at and all of Bobby's
shows and information at bobbyleelive.com
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