TigerBelly - Episode 171: Pumpkin Pie Master
Episode Date: December 5, 2018Bobo rejects George’s pie. Koloko gets a delayed confession. Gilbert redeems himself by way of pralines. We talk Thanksgiving, conversion camp, Julio the sociopath, and a butthole in the fo...ot. Bonus content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Sun, sun, and aria.
Sun, sun, and aria.
Sisters in the snow.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Welcome to another episode of
Tiger Belly. My name is Bobby Montgomery Lee.
And we are here with the elaborate and very sophisticated George Keimel.
We're here also with Gilbert Galons.
Hello, hello. Hello.
And we're also here with Kalyla Keon.
Hello, Kalyla Keon. Did I get that correct?
You did.
Kalyla Keon. Where is that from?
It's from a northeastern town of Mongolia.
Excuse me, sorry. Excuse me.
You're Mongolian then?
Ah, interesting. Interesting.
We also have Keimel. George Keimel. Where are you from?
Origins of your name, sir. Where is that from?
The etymology of your name.
Yes, the etymology. It's from a small town in southwestern Poland.
You don't have to do that with your voice because you just normally sound like that.
You normally sound like that.
Use your regular voice.
It's German for cumin. Very classy culinary etymology.
Wait, I would change my answer. Are we doing real answers?
I don't even know my real one.
Anyway, let's start for real.
The origin of my name is supposed to have an umlaut on top of the you.
Oh, yeah, mine too.
And it's from either Eastern Europe or Germany.
One of the two.
My Korean name is Songwoo, which if you translate, it's stale juice.
Oh, man. Stale juice?
Yeah, the family of stale juice.
Yes, I love it.
Anyway, back to me, the captain.
Welcome to another episode. Listen, I do have many animals at home.
I have three cats, three dogs.
We had a Zen master come over this weekend.
What's his name? What's the Zen master?
His name is Matt Beisner from the Zen dog.
From the Zen dog.
Matt Beisner has a show coming out on a f***ing call.
Wait, we're not supposed to say it, babe.
He never...
You can say it again.
Say it again. Say it again.
He has a show coming out.
A show coming out on some place.
Some kind of network.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like f***ing...
MTV.
I think you're trying to say MTV.
What's going on? Tell us about f***ing...
Yeah.
That f***ing...
So ridiculous.
I don't know what you're saying.
I still don't know what you're saying, so it's okay.
So he came over because we have a problem puppy,
which is everyone knows Julio.
And he came in.
He's bald,
white,
tall,
and he's very calm.
He's like...
Imagine, like,
if value met human form.
It's true.
Even his presence was so calming for me.
And I'm like, oh, s***.
I'm not misbehaving right now.
Oh, you got Unitran.
You didn't want to play video games?
Yeah, I couldn't play video games.
And then...
And that was very quiet.
Do you remember when he first came out, it was very quiet,
just looking at him.
Let me tell you something about Bobby.
Usually when someone new comes into the house, he showcases.
He's very loud.
He likes to...
I'll do a belly roll.
I'll do some break dancing moves.
He'll do the worm on the floor.
He likes to peacock.
But when Matt came through the door,
he was immediately subdued into a corner of the home.
He just woke up and had two hours of sleep.
Well, that too.
Okay.
Okay, that too.
But he comes in and I didn't say anything
until he brings up the fact that he knew that I did stand up.
Then I loosened up.
Which was like two hours after.
Two hours in.
Yeah.
And you guys have friends in common.
Yeah.
We have friends in common, yeah.
I know who his ex-roommate.
But anyway, this guy...
What?
Anyway, this guy
taught us how to walk the dogs.
He told us about...
Dogs have their space.
And human beings, they encrouch the space
without even asking if it's okay for the dog.
For instance, if you put your hand in front of a dog's mouth,
and they pull their head away,
that means I don't want to be touched right now.
I think before...
And you're in my space.
But the antiquated way of thinking was always
that you have to dominate your animal.
You have to dominate and you have to break them in
or something like that.
And that's actually not how it works at all.
I think it's about mutual respect
and that's what he goes by.
I have my...
Especially for a guy like Julio.
Try saying, try subduing him
with your usual dominating tactics.
I fucking dare you.
I haven't had enough time.
No, no.
That's a demon dog when you try to walk it.
You also keep in mind, George,
keep in mind that this guy has studied this
for the past 20 years.
So if I'm not going to listen to you,
I'm going to listen to this guy.
Also, he's worked with wolves.
He's studied the behavior of dogs over decades.
So between you and him, I'm going to take his advice.
You don't even know.
George Farms.
I mean, I know that my theory...
I know how to discipline to get a dog straight.
I have my own theories about it,
but I just can't... I don't want to...
Is that why it works with...
Can I tell you what I would do?
Can I tell you what I would do?
Yeah, go ahead.
I'll book a two-way ticket for all the three dogs
to Yulin, China.
We'll go to the dog-eating festival.
I'll have them leashed,
and I will bring them in the middle of the festival,
and I will look at each one of them in the eyes
and go, this is the alternative.
I like it. It's like a scare attack.
Yeah, scare straight.
Yes, it's my version of it.
And then I'd make them eat a stew.
You make out their own dog.
You make the cannibals immediately.
You eat the stew of another dog.
And then I'm going to go to Peru with my cats
and go, you know, there's a cat-eating festival there.
In Peru.
And I'll bring all my cats there and go,
this is... Hey, you want...
Because they have this thing where they throw the cat
in this kind of stadium,
and they try to bow and arrow the cat.
Oh, it's like that.
Yeah, it's like hunger games.
And I'll bring Goonie and go,
look, you want to compete?
Behave. Stop pooping on the floor.
He also made a very interesting point
about just being alpha.
He's like, you know, we've domesticated dogs
for however long, like thousands of years, right?
Or I don't know how many years.
The fact that you have to show dominance in that way
means that you're not alpha.
We've domesticated them. They already know we're alpha.
That means you're beta.
If you have to constantly assert yourself in that way
and show them who's boss, maybe you're not alpha.
So another thing that he said also was that
the likelihood that Julio was ripped off the mom
at two weeks old, I don't know his history,
those early two weeks, but he says that Julio's brain
is likely underdeveloped.
He didn't get the nutrients that he needed.
And he's comparable to like a sociopath.
He's missing parts.
He has missing screws altogether.
It makes so much sense.
With that dog, yes.
There's just something so off about him,
even when he was three weeks old, he was already lifting his...
Is that not normal?
He's hypersexual. He's a very primal dog.
Very sexual, yeah.
I mean, he still tries to fuck Gobi.
And we took his nuts away.
But that's not the most abnormal part about him.
The most abnormal part about him is just his cues
and the way he responds to things.
Take my nuts away. See what happens.
I feel like you're nuts.
What would happen?
I would literally just be a jelly on the couch.
I would have no reason to live.
Take my nuts away.
You want them? You want to be a eunuch?
Is that what they call it?
Game of Thrones, right?
But he has no dick either.
That's a eunuch, right?
Wait, could you just have the...
I've always thought about that.
I knew a guy, a kid who went to Greece.
Not the play, but the country.
He didn't go into the play.
And he went to Greece and he was on a moped.
And he got in an accident and his dick got ripped off.
Off his old dick?
He's from my hometown.
Yeah.
And I think they attached half of it.
Yeah, and I think it still kind of works.
Yeah.
Does he have balls?
It works, I said. I don't know. I haven't seen it.
Yeah.
But when I heard about it, I thought to myself,
oh man, and then you imagine yourself.
Would I be able to function in society without a penis?
And I think I would.
And I'd stay with you.
Thank you. And I think... Thank you.
And I think that in many ways,
it would be different life.
In what ways?
Well, I mean...
I don't like the way you said, um...
Well, in the ways of like, you know, you...
Not now, but like throughout my whole life,
you know, you thought... I thought about women
or Kalylo sex often.
And that's just... That's like...
It consumes a certain section of your day.
Sure.
It's always there, right?
And it's almost as like, oh, it's a waste of time.
It's like, why do you constantly think about it?
So if I had no dick and balls,
I might have gotten a lot done.
What do you think?
Interesting.
Maybe. But you say a lot of times that the reason
you wanted to be great at stand-up,
initially the driving force was that girls would look at you.
So maybe you wouldn't have that same desire.
So you wouldn't... You would just like live as a blob.
No, because you still...
That's only half of it.
The other half, though, is survival, right?
Like, you know, in this society we live in,
this modern-day society, all that's capitalism, all that.
Right?
It's either me living in the desert, right?
You know, in a cliff.
I don't know how desert people live.
I don't know if you said cliff, but yeah.
Yeah, thank you, man.
Thank you so much.
And no, I would probably want to still be a part of society
and make a living.
And so a lot of my motivations was also financial to do stand-up.
Because I'm like, I can't just work at coffee shops
for the rest of my fucking life.
I never really buy anything.
Wouldn't you need a testosterone to be active?
You can see...
Without a dick, you still have a lot of testosterone.
Your testosterone is a hormone that actually starts
in your adrenal glands.
Yeah, you didn't know that?
The ingredients needed to make testosterone
that is eventually so...
You don't tell me about adrenal glands for a while.
I'm a man.
Yeah.
Not all of it, but I'm just saying some of it.
Yeah, it stores in your adrenal glands.
Where was it, sorry?
Adrenal glands.
Adrenal glands, okay, yeah.
It's right there.
It absorbs through your molecules.
Yeah, and then it makes its way down,
and then it gets finally packaged.
Goes under the knees, huh, babe?
What?
It goes all the way down to the knees and back up.
It's stored in your kneecaps, actually.
The adrenal glands, right?
Goes right down to your knees.
Yeah.
It comes back up, shoots to your elbows,
right to your temples, back down to your glands.
And then there you are, have it.
Wow.
Your glands.
Not efficient route.
Thank you.
It's a very efficient route.
Is it?
It's quick.
It's quick?
It's very quick.
Well, the answer is my question then.
If I had to choose a dick or balls,
I would definitely just keep the dick.
The shaft, sorry.
I would keep my balls.
What?
You just said I don't need it for testosterone.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's what I was worried about,
was if I didn't have balls,
I wouldn't need your balls.
What?
What?
What?
What a gland!
What happened?
What happened to the glands part?
You said adrenal glands.
You have to understand me.
You thought that the testosterone is made in your adrenal,
but then stored in your dick shaft?
No.
I was thinking if I had to choose one,
what could I live without?
I would rather keep my...
Imagine.
I told you guys that it's stored in your sac.
It's stored in your sac.
You're shit together, lady.
Well, that didn't stay sac.
It's also adrenal glands.
Yeah.
You think that's just what you need the storage facility. Is that what you're saying? You need a storage facility
You're saying that could we function without a sack? Okay, so what I'm saying is
Yeah, what do you say chop your dick off and not your balls?
Listen, okay, they're your gonads is where your testosterone name in high school. Oh, really?
Why would they call you that I don't know why
So there's two places where your testosterone is made your adrenal glands and then your latex cells which are in your gonads
right and together
They make testosterone and it's
You don't want to chop off
Your gonads because that's where it's made. Yeah
I'm gonna just say this without my dick the balls can go. Okay, but what's worse exactly?
Why would you want the drive if you don't have the tool? That's what I'm saying. So why do why I don't want any of it?
Why would you want like gasoline without the automobile?
Yeah, just to light the fire outside of your home. I've never thought of it that way. That was gonna now
That was very good analysis. Where do you put the gasoline, you know? Yeah. Yeah, where do you put it?
What did the body naturally find a place like would it go to my breast?
Do you think that your tits will get hard? Maybe
You get erect somewhere else. I
Used to have this fantasy that um, you would die without testosterone by the way. Okay, you need you need it
If I was some sort of mutant and I had like
My right hand I was born with a vagina
sure
Right, okay. I imagine how cool that would be cool. Yeah, just a tight vagina on your right hand on my right hand
Okay, I'm in my head now. Yeah. Yeah, thank you continue and then you know, I still have pee pee down there
This is a fantasy. Anyway, um
I don't know why I just
You also smiled too and she was like dick. That's way too easy. That is like the bottom of my foot then
I don't want yeah
We're much better. That's very challenging. I know I know what you would do. Yeah, you would you would intentionally remove like six of your ribs
What? Yeah, so that you would be more flexible. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I always thought that God fucked up
I think here's here. So here. Here's where I know you guys believe in the Lord Jesus
But this is where God fucked up. This is a Christian podcast. It is it is but think of it this style
Okay, the asshole should be on the bottom of your foot
No, yeah, yeah, I'm with us. Yes to hear me out. Okay, so let's say it's on everyone's right foot
So the shoes you would develop is you have a little hatch on the bottom of the shoe, right?
And all you don't even you don't even have to fucking go to a bathroom
You just put your foot out just put your foot out right in a field like a dog would you shit
It's not embarrassing. Okay, so then you're telling me that
That okay, cuz your GI system
Consists of your mouth all the way down to your anus, right?
You're telling me now all of these things to right leg who has to travel down your quadriceps
Yeah, and down of down into your fucking gastrocnemius. Yeah down into your little fucking feet. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, that's what I'm saying into a hole that would change the game in MMA latex
Could I just say this though? From my mouth to my asshole calf. It I don't feel nothing
It works. You don't think you'd feel it
So why would why would I think that it's good from the from the stomach to my foot?
What what this is a little extra mile your foot is supposed to take you places not hinder you it won't hinder me
Well, you listening sketchers
You had the wheelie now you have the hatchet poop
Or we have an ad
That's the good segway now back to the show. Um
Speaking of 23 and me
They have to develop one for dogs. Have I talked to you?
With the how can we have never done it? Um cuz I was told that some companies are really kind of full of shit
Like my friend who had like for sure a hundred percent like pit bull, right?
Right, it looked like a pit bull white paws everything was pit bull
Yeah, but she just did it just to kind of like, you know humor herself. Yeah, and it came with some
Funky results and actually a couple people told me that I don't think it's very specific
But I think that there is then why do we trust the human ones?
Well, we shouldn't be talking about we had 23 and me. Yeah, I trust the human ones Bobby especially 20 20
23 is the best one, but I'm gonna find the genetic testing a good one for dogs because I want to know I
Want to know what all my animals have I want to know how exact how old
Remy is we don't know how old Remy is people are saying he's six or seven. No, that dude's 15, bro
And it's old dude. He's shake. He's just an old fucker
And we don't know people can make assumptions. Yeah. Yeah, but they go away. You can tell by the teeth
That's what they said the other day. I go. Yeah, but he's missing some yeah
That also depends on whether or not they've ever received like cleaning right?
So we don't know. Yeah, Remy could be well. He doesn't have front teeth. He's pungg. Yeah, so he could be way older
What is that? What are you doing?
You're so dumb George. Oh my shirt. Is that me and Bobby?
No, no, let me look at that shirt. It's this Stevie or Gilbert PD
Is that Steve? No, it's Gilbert and Bobby or Gilbert and Bobby. Look at Bobby's face
Yeah, that's me to the left with the beanie
Yeah, I'm so glad I'm not in that picture. I wonder how they would write it. Who did that shirt? Shout out to Ki-Wong Lee
It's my favorite Ki-Wong Lee. Yep, Ki-Wong Lee. You're out
Slap kingdom. You're out of slap kingdom. No longer. No, that's that's that's blasphemy. He was slept king for the week
I thought that's blasphemy right there, dude. We're just tiny little gooks holding the white man. The white man's hand
That's America right there, dude
Yeah, but you're holding his hand anyway and look at look at Gilbert just a fucking yes, man for days
Look at that smiling so much. I'm smiling so much. You know what makes me sad guilt is that you look like one of those like
Poor Filipino kids that I see back there with an oversized shirt and I'm like, nooo
Can I have halo halo?
Yeah
George looks cool in that though. That's a pretty cool shirt. They only made one of them. No, I
Found his art. I found his art on Instagram and you made it yourself. You made that?
You're a loser. Oh
God
It was my I should have fired it was my birthday present to me. He made a he made the art for my birthday
So I made myself a T-shirt for my birthday. So how do you you find you can find the art?
You said any two art that I find online. I can make a new t-shirt. Yeah, how baby
We just contact like yeah, or like a level pressure something. Oh, there's so many shirts. I want to make do it
Can you do it for me? You can do that. You let us know we'll do it. Why can't we are they all of your face?
Yeah, why can't we get one of those machines here?
We could we have George. We have a presser. We have a screen print, but you don't know how to use it
We've used it. Yeah, would you use it on just making simple stuff for the fans at the life?
He's a few like of the steby little ray shirts all little ray shirts
Yeah, the ones uh all the all the ones at the live show remember. Yeah, we gave it folks. Yeah, all leaders
So you got a stevie went to Thanksgiving too. Do we talk about that? No, where'd you guys go?
So we went to
San Diego, I have a cut my okay, so I have cousins I have 28 first cousins. I don't think you guys know this
It's a lot. We have most of them. Most of them. I don't talk to how many would you say are close to none?
Oh, really, but the ones that I'm closest to
It's probably these two Eddie and Jenny. Oh, I do. Yeah, and then the rest and then the rest of them Sharon
The Catherine Catherine was also there who when I was growing up. I didn't know her at all
Mm-hmm
But other than that, I mean I don't and then when I was in Portland, I saw Paul
Troy one of my other cousins, but um, yeah, we went down there and I saw my uncle
And my aunt which I haven't seen in your dad's side on my dad's side my dad's brother
I haven't seen him in like five years, but Steve hasn't seen him in like 25 years
You know and so when we walked in my brother was very happy
You know, you know how gleeful Steve. He was right. He was like, oh my god
I can't believe it and we actually had a pretty good time. I've had we did I actually really really like your family
Yeah, my family. I really like Jenny. I love Jenny. Yeah, I love Eddie Catherine was great. Her kids were great
Yeah, and her kids. I'm telling you guys are subhuman
It actually meeting his family made me want to have children with him
What's with the kids because it turns out he was just a little um, he's a he's a blip. He's like a
What do you mean?
People in your family are actually kind of they're tall. Yeah, they're super
well
They're I'm no blip. I'll tell you that right now
Like cat like Catherine's kids. Yeah are like one of them this girl Malia
17 maybe five nine beach volleyball star model
Just a fucking specimen and her sons are specimens. One is like being drafted to the Yankee. Yeah. What? Yeah
Spets specimens. Spets amends. Yeah. Yeah spets amends and then look at in Steve and I the trolls of the family
You're so tiny compared to it. Yeah, we're just like, you know, man. We're they didn't at first
They didn't even know what to do with us in what we do you mean?
Which is like weird guys. They're like, they know sure those kid
They're all in high school. One of them is a college, but they're like, they're 50
Right, I mean think about it. We come in right look at Steve. Yeah
Look at everyone knows Steve, right? He's in his mid 40s, but they look at him to go that dude is almost 50
Right and then we went up and played ping pong and he tried to challenge the
The super athlete in his family and got no
No, no, no, no, I could just say this right now and
And I I will I believe this to the day I die
Okay, if I have the space it would have been completely different
Was like in a tiny room. I play
What's so funny
You have the same disadvantages as they have unless they understand that I play a deep ball, right play style, right?
So they play close to the table. I'm way back. I like I like this. I like the ball to drop
Right. And there was no room for that. Right when I was at mad TV
Frank Frank Calliando who's a master. Do you know that his dad is a master who's a good?
Yeah, he's one of the best Frank Calliando him and Judah Friedlander who are both comics are masters of ping-pong, right?
I can't beat them, but I can rally with them. And if I have the space
Right, there was no space up there. I don't think you could have beat Jenny
No, I can't get Jenny Jenny's the best. But Jenny though is was almost pro tennis player. Yeah. Oh, there you go
Yeah, she knows she's a beast. She is yeah
Eddie's a beast too. They're all my brother's good, but Jenny is the best that aren't all right. I'm just saying she's schooled you guys
Jenny's better than Jenny's amazing. Yeah, Jenny's amazing. She's always been amazing, but we went down there. Yeah, and
Here's the one thing I have about Thanksgiving. I just don't eat it
The food you don't like the food. I had never been to a house in Thanksgiving
Where I sat down and went wow, I wish I could eat this every day. It's I'm always there late
The food's been out
Right, this is so true. Can they go mine? What Kim you didn't eat at my last year
At yours either like you picked at it. I noticed you didn't eat it. Yeah, I didn't even when he comes to mind
He doesn't really eat. I don't eat it. Yeah. Yeah, I just don't think that the Thanksgiving
Classics are your thing like I don't think you're a big turkey guy. No, I don't think you're a big cranberry sauce guy
You know, I'm a fucking big fan of those things. Really? Yeah, I just like it at restaurants
And here's another thing dude. I've never gone to anyone's house except except for Kalaila and my mom maybe
Where I went that's good
Hmm at home
I've never been to a house where I went wow
I always eat half of it to be polite and then make some sort of excuse. I have stomach issues
Well, you know, I'm not that hungry today or whatever or I'm sick. Yeah, right, but like I don't eat at people's houses
I hate it. Why is that?
I think in your head you're at restaurants. No way home
Right, so what you're saying to me this is if I went to bestia
Okay, well the best restaurant in LA. Well, I'm just saying right
If I went to someone's house and they had food like bestia, I'll tell you who's house
I'd like to eat at Curtis's and you're gonna say that
Curtis don't can cook me
All right, you know what David Chang sure I'll go to David Chang's house
Yeah, you can cook me a little breakfast or a meal whatever Bobbi-Fly. Yeah, yeah, right, but I'm not gonna eat at Steve's house
My brother already makes a meat carne asada. Yeah, but yours is the only one I'll eat
And when she makes it to me, it's restaurant style
But see it's like you're but you're not gotten not being fair with this
It's like if you went to bestia saw somebody's table after 45 minutes of them eating when like took a piece of chicken
They're turkey from their plate and they're like this isn't as good as like home-cooked food
No, you're you're misunderstanding what I'm saying is that yes
I sometimes I'm late, but I'm talking about even food if I'm there and it's fresh and you didn't even give his pumpkin pie a chance
You're pumpkin pie and now you want to start shit. Who's it good?
Just wait who are you talking to? You. I point out the good part about your pumpkin pie. All right, you want to start some shit?
Oh, I'll start? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will start you out. Hold it, I want to start off by saying. I was gonna say
I'll go ahead, babe
I want to start off by saying that I'm already not a big pumpkin pie kind of gal so I'm not a good judge
However, I do appreciate the fact that your pumpkin pie was number one not too sweet number two
It felt both like a meal and a dessert why I'm gonna eggs in it
There's always
Fucking quiche bro a quiche. Yeah, like an egg. Yeah, like a breakfast quiche
Now if you said this is quiche oh, yeah, that's good quiche delicious, right? But when I ate it that was no fucking pie
I'll tell you that right now dog. Oh, that's cuz you know
No, that's because there's no fucking flavor of fakeness. You're just you've never had a real pumpkin pie
That's a real pumpkin pie. You don't even know what a real pumpkin pie tastes like. I fucking went to pumpkin pie to the fucking pumpkin
Masked stir. Did you hear what he said?
Did you hear that sentence? Did you hear that sentence?
Did you hear that sentence, dude?
That's a real sentence, motherfucker. Don't ever come at me like that. Okay. I stand corrected. Oh, yeah, stand corrected. Oh, all right
I went there. I went there.
When you lose, you lose. Oh my goodness. All right. Like the last word pumpkin pie mask.
I don't know what he said.
Can I see something to do?
Can I see something to do?
Don't fucking talk to me like that. All right in my house. I just said you want to.
That's another thing. It's just like don't give me a pie.
Don't give me a pie. God damn it. I can't win here. Your pie wasn't good. Did you eat at all?
Is it still in the refrigerator?
Half of it's gone. But it's still there.
There's only one person eating it. It's me.
I will not eat it.
Maybe it's good now. Maybe it's good now.
Marinated. Maybe I'll eat some tonight.
Yeah. Right. But I've had better pumpkin pie.
Is it supposed, can he serve it with a little bit of whipped topping up top? Oh, yeah.
Okay. I'll do that for him. Maybe it will give him the full experience.
Listen, you brought over a pie. I had a tiny little slice. I was being fucking cool about it. All right.
And you could have let it go at that, right? But if you want to challenge me,
I'm going to tell you right now, friend, thank you for baking and putting the time in.
But next time I pass.
Okay.
I'm bringing you places.
I wish I could talk to people the way you talk to people.
Yeah. All right.
So fucking rude.
Thank you so much.
Don't put in the effort because it's not going to be validated.
All right. It sucked.
All right. It's a waste of fucking space in my refrigerator.
Anyway, but thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I enjoyed it very much, George. Thank you.
Like these things, like these things.
Okay. I just buy this.
All right. So I'm going to say this, right?
Look at this right here.
This right here is a ripped.
A River Street.
This right here is a River Street sweets candy store.
Famous Praline, right?
I've had three of these already.
So good.
This is why I just buy stuff.
Okay. So this Gilbert is Gilbert back on your good side
after he forgot the Hawaii.
Has he redeemed himself?
Yeah.
He really did.
He also redeemed himself by
because I was angry with him because he was gone for so long.
He didn't do the
Patreon.
Were you there for the patrons?
God damn it.
That's the price here, man.
Were you there?
Yes, I was there.
I forgot if he was there.
Don't bake him a pie again.
You already disrespected me on the Patreon.
Don't wear that shirt again.
Did you always want to fight, bro?
Yeah.
You're being very feisty today.
That shirt, though, man.
Oh, we love Ridge Wallet.
Ridge Wallet, my friend.
Everyone loves it.
It's just off of that island
in the Bay of Bengal.
Oh, with the natives?
The Sentinelese.
So this kid,
he's like a missionary.
He wanted to spread the word of the kingdom of God.
So these people
that are so remote
that it would be such a risk for any
interaction to even take place.
He had been there before, I think.
I think he survived. There's something like that.
Or they beat him up and then they let him go.
Yeah, because they're so secluded
that they don't even have like a flu could be
as bad as the Black Plague.
Yeah, they have not had any contact with him.
No contact at all.
And so this guy
kept insisting that
it was his mission to spread the word of God.
And he got killed.
And even though it's sad
that a 26-year-old
kid, essentially, is killed,
I mean, what the fuck do you think
is gonna happen, bro?
What's gonna happen is this,
those people on that island,
they're gonna be in hell
for the rest of their lives.
I mean, they have
eternal damnation.
That's a missionary on them.
You don't kill
a servant of the Lord.
You're so dumb. Not being real.
I'm being real right now. Dude, the dude
tried to reach out
to a group of people
that don't know about the Lord Jesus.
Right? And what they do,
they kill the messenger
of the Lord.
They're going to fucking hell.
We should obliterate that whole fucking island.
Can the government do anything?
You know that he's being facetious, right?
What does that mean?
What does it mean?
You need to clarify your stance on this
because I feel like people really believe
that's how you feel.
People are listening right now.
If you believe what I just said,
then just turn the machine
that you're listening to this podcast off
and don't come back.
Because if you're that dumb,
then you've got something else happening.
I don't think he's being facetious. I didn't complete one idea though.
I think I was with you.
What it is is this.
My real opinion though
about it is that
he died, that's sad.
It's his fault.
It is.
No one should be going to that island
and let them live in peace
and end the story.
But they murdered someone.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Are you being facetious?
Are you being facetious right now?
Facetious.
Gilbert's always facetious.
Anything could kill them Gilbert.
They're protecting their lives essentially.
They don't want
any part in this society,
in this world.
I don't even want to say the word primitive
because I feel like they're way more advanced
in a sense.
To be able to sustain
life there
without contact with the rest of the world.
Leave them. They deserve that.
We shouldn't tamper with that.
They haven't even discovered fire have they?
I'm not sure.
I studied up on this
long ago.
I just read about it but I think they might
have not even discovered fire.
They just have...
They discovered fire you fucking idiot.
What are the people called?
Can you get Wi-Fi there?
They're probably just faking it.
I'm being real. Can you get Wi-Fi there?
No, it's way in the middle of the ocean.
It's in the Bay of Bengal.
If I'm there I can't download any movies or nothing?
No.
What I feel bad, mostly bad about
is
not even... you can say
he's so arrogant that person to think
he could just go over there and who does he think he is
trying to spread the word of God.
But I feel that maybe he was a victim
of early indoctrination.
Is that what he called, George?
I do believe that
the people that...
It's not like
somebody said something to him.
He really believed it, babe.
Some old white dude.
He's from America.
He's an American.
His name is John Chow.
But still Asians
do interact with white people, right?
They do.
I'm assuming that he's
from some sort of white church
and somebody said you have to spread the word.
He's like, I'm going to this island.
Oh yeah, good luck. I want you to do it.
I think there is
just even conditioning on his part.
What would it say?
They don't know how to make fire.
No. Stone Age people of North Sentinel.
That's what you googled?
Sentinel.
You spent all that time trying to prove me wrong?
This whole time.
You said that you could yell that. Don't know how to make fire.
You can do that?
Well, it felt good at the time, but now it doesn't feel good.
It felt really good when I discovered it.
American German citizen.
So you're saying the people should have been like,
hey dude, maybe don't do that.
That's dangerous. You might die. They didn't help him out.
I think it's 100%
and also it's like
I believe that in many ways
Christianity
across the world
like in Nigeria.
Is it Nigeria where those Christians went
was at Ghana
where Christians went
to an African
country
to preach Christianity
and then they made
homosexuality
legal, but a death sentence.
Ooh, stoning.
Yeah, so
and white Christians from America
went to these other countries.
White Christians.
Islam has done the same thing in Africa.
So you know it's all
a little bit over there. My aunt and uncle were missionaries
in Africa.
Do they preach that homosexuality is an abomination
and that they're going to go to hell?
I don't know.
Does your religion believe that?
Low-level.
Yeah, but they do believe that.
So let me ask this.
If I was gay
and I was a part of the 7-day
what are they called 7-day?
Avertise.
Being facetious right now.
SDA, babe, SDA.
SDA, right.
If I was a part of that organization
and I went up to...
Do you have a reverend who's the headhunter?
Pastors, yes.
Pastor what?
Pastor Kimmel.
I just want to let you know that I think I'm gay.
What would they say?
Most of the conservatives
would say like,
we'll pray for you then.
But they wouldn't try to convert me or...
We don't have those conversion camps
in Adventism. No.
I think there's a few very conservative pastors
and I've heard of people getting sent to these
but actually the conversion camps
are just fuckfests.
Because it's all the gay kids
finally around other gay kids.
So it's a theme park.
So you want to get sent there.
I've heard of this like that it does not work at all.
I'm not even gay and I want to go.
It's just like a summer camp for them.
A watch.
If you go to the right ones, I'm sure they're shitty ones.
I don't want to be gay anymore. Send me to the camp.
Yeah, he comes back with no asshole.
It just disappears.
They took it out that dad.
Yeah.
He was fucked out of him.
So they don't believe in it.
No.
I think that...
I know there's a lot of religious people
listening to our podcast
and I'm going to be completely honest with you
and this is not funny.
This is not a comedy thing that I'm going to say.
But what I really believe...
I believe this.
If you took away some of the weirdness
out of your religion,
if you took away like
the gay thing,
stop
saying that being gay is an abomination
and you accept them into your religion,
that would be
an easier sell for me.
Right?
If you stop saying
that women don't have the right
to choose.
Or that we have dominion over animals.
There's a bunch of things, little things
that they change and I'd be more like
I can stand by the god stuff.
Right?
Without these little weird things
that I don't agree with.
Why are you smiling?
Because I gave a look at the dominion
to animals and then Cliley gave me a look back.
What do you mean the dominion of animals?
I think that people mistreat animals
more because
of the Bible.
I think there's a lot of literature
that tells people that they have
to have dominion over animals.
I think that animals and humans
coexisted in a more sustainable way
previous to religion.
That's what I believe.
I don't know if there's any truth or history to that
but that's just what I think.
Based on what I've read
as a good Catholic girl growing up
is that they don't treat
Catholic people don't have
they don't treat animals well.
Especially the Philippines, it's horrible.
Yeah man.
And they don't even have a second thought
about kindness
to animals.
I honestly
and you guys
are going to mock me
and chastise me
about what I'm about to say
theses.
But I'm leaning more toward
whatever that is you're talking about.
What is it?
About being
free of eating animal
and mistreating them.
By me eating them
by me eating them
I'm a part of the problem.
I don't necessarily think that there's
I'll eat the fuck out of fish
but other than that.
But you see that guy that fish that visits
that guy every day and he's like getting
petted and stuff.
I mean they could be sentient too.
I don't necessarily think there's
I don't think it's wrong
inherently in its core
for the human body to crave meat
and to eat meat. It's just the way
that meat is put on your plate these days.
It's just wasteful.
It's really bad for the environment and we're doing
it in such like it's in a really like
irresponsible way. Inhumane
mass production
and most of it ends up
not even in your belly.
Most of it just goes out to waste.
And it's just
like the way it's done.
That's why when I go out and I
get muscles
or food from the ocean
I don't feel bad.
I use my body to do that.
But not everyone has the luxury to do that.
Even though
someone like Joe Rogan
goes out
shoots his elk. Wonderful.
He does it in a way that
is essentially guilt free.
He uses his legs and muscles to do that.
Rich man sport
to be able to go out
and shoot elk with your buddies.
Right?
Not everyone can do that.
Not everyone can take a trip
to the ocean like me and be like,
yeah I'm going to spear fish.
I find it to be a luxury.
People have nine to five.
They have kids. They can't do that.
It's easy for me to say but it's actually
you know.
Like if you go up to YouTube
what are you typing?
Baby chicks being ground up.
Alright baby.
I know.
Thank you so much Bobby.
How long did it take you?
What?
Baby chicks being ground up.
Have you seen it?
I'm not going to show you.
I'm going to be honest with you.
That was the first time when I saw
that video. A video like that
where I went, oh there's something inherently
wrong with that.
Taking little yellow, cute little chicks
into a machine
and they just get ground up
into like red.
And then back and then nuggets
from them.
I didn't know those were nuggets.
So my point is that
anyway, wow what a target gun.
Wait are you going vegan?
Is that what you're saying?
He has to go vegetarian first then vegan.
I'll go vegetarian first
Veganism
is tough man.
Wait I did 3 weeks, remember?
Oh the vegetarian one.
Yeah earlier this year remember?
He did 3 weeks and he actually did a really good job.
I cheated once.
Wait reveal it.
Tamas will tell me now.
Was it only once babe?
Only one time.
You're a fucking liar.
But I'm going to tell you how I did it.
You promised me too.
You swore on your parents life.
And my dad's dying.
There we go.
Guess that's logical.
Remember we went to Malibu
and they go
I'm going to go get taquitos.
Do you remember?
Do they have potatoes?
They have potato taquitos.
And they walked in there.
They have potato taquitos.
They didn't have any.
They have potato tacos.
I wanted taquitos.
Do you have potato taquitos?
They go no senor. We have the chicken ones.
And we drove all the way over there
to Malibu.
And I was like
I'll just eat it really quickly here.
So I ate a chicken taquito on there.
That's fine.
Are you angry?
I'm not angry that you ate the taquitos.
I'm angry that you were so...
I shouldn't even say anything!
Why did you say that?
Then you think it's now it's safe to say.
I can say it now.
It's safe. She won't get mad.
But you are mad.
I'm mad about the lie.
Oh my gosh! She's mad again at me!
You cannot be trusted.
See! Look at her!
Look at what she's doing!
How untrustworthy.
Two and a half weeks ago.
It was two and a half weeks in.
It was towards the end.
That's halfway through.
It didn't even last the month that we had decided.
Why did you say that?
You had it man.
I would have almost trusted you.
You were almost there babe.
You would have earned my trust.
Are you angry right now?
But you know what? I trust you for coming forward eventually.
A little late.
You gotta get some credit.
That's all that matters right?
I do credit you now for finally being honest.
It's never too late to be honest.
Just throw that out there.
You should shame me.
Shame.
What else have you lied about?
Tell me everything else.
That's it.
But what?
The way you look on your face right now
is of a man with many secrets.
Many secrets!
I told you everything already!
Look how defensive you are.
Anyway, give me the...
When I was younger
I would want to know everything
of every detail. Now I just don't.
Don't tell me.
If there's anything that makes me feel guilty
I'll eventually come out.
I don't think so.
He just did the food one.
I've told you everything.
I do feel guilty about it.
Really?
In my head for the last six months
I'm like, how do I say it?
Wait for six months?
How do I say it?
Even after I ate it
and it was walking back to the car
and they asked me how was the potato tequito?
It was so good but I was like
oh my god you just cheated.
But
don't you
stop and wonder why
I didn't go to the tequito place with you
and check on you and why I stayed in the car?
Because trust.
Yeah, not only that
but there was a part of me that thought
you know what?
I didn't want to see him
I didn't want to catch him in a lie.
Is that why you didn't go in there with him?
I knew you were going to get those rolled chicken tequitos babe.
You really knew that?
I think you knew.
We both have a problem.
I didn't want to do the gotcha moment.
I didn't want to go there and be like
what are you doing this?
I'm just going to
Jesus take the wheel.
The last question please.
On hopeful advice
with Bobby Kalaila
I can't believe you revealed that.
I feel like she might have stabbed you.
Yeah.
I'm a long time listener with a question for you.
When I was 18 years old my brother
who was 24 years old
died from a sudden illness.
This was a great loss to me and my family
and that experience modeled me into the man I am today.
10 years have passed since then
and I still have no idea how I should answer the simple question
do you have any siblings?
This is especially difficult on dates.
On one occasion it was brought up on our second date
and I responded
I did. He died when I was 18
and then we proceeded to eat pasta in silence
because the lady I was with
didn't know how to respond.
On a later occasion I responded with no
and that lady proceeded to tell me how awesome it is
to grow up with siblings and how I missed out
and when she found out later that I had lied
she got really upset and felt very guilty.
How does one respond to this question
while telling the truth and respecting
the memory of my brother
and not making shit awkward with new friends and dates?
No, it's not on you.
There's Sotros Papaya, Joseph.
That girl who sat in silence
when you told her your brother died
is a weak human.
If someone tells me
hey, even if we just meet
and you tell me
hey, do you have siblings, George?
No.
Just say someone died.
I was improvising this scenario.
God damn it, Bobby.
George? No.
You're so cautious.
That's not...
When the scenario calls for Gilbert
God damn it, you know...
Don't throw your book at me.
Do it again.
Yes, I have a brother and a sister.
Then you say they passed away.
We're just replaying this. Let me do it.
I'll be the guy. Fuck you, man.
You had your chance, bro.
Are you enjoying your virgin mojito?
Oh, very delicious. Thank you.
Even though I'm paying for it.
What? Why would you throw that in there?
Why would you say that?
You know that I'm the man of the thing.
Oh, thank you. That's so sweet of you.
I'm going to pay for your mojito, too.
Oh, that's so nice.
My name is Bobby Lee.
My name is Bobby.
Network television. Anyway, go ahead.
Do you have any siblings?
Yeah.
Well, I did.
What happened?
I had a brother named Jimmy.
When I was 19
and he was 14,
he imploded.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Thanks for bringing it up.
No, I'm sorry
if that was a sore spot for you.
It really was.
Would you want another virgin mojito?
I mean, if you want to talk about it,
tell me everything.
We're playing basketball.
And then I go, Jimmy.
I go, what's up, Jimmy?
And he goes, what?
I just said, Jimmy.
I kept doing it.
And he goes, what?
I go, what? I said, what?
And then all of a sudden,
he just exploded.
We don't know what doctors don't know.
He just spontaneously combusted.
And how did your family deal with it?
The brownie LMO?
Thank you so much.
Are you a network television?
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Did you know that his brother imploded
at the basketball court?
I can't be here.
Anyway, yes, we imploded.
Is this a sore subject for you?
Oh, no, it feels great.
To think about my brother exploding in front of me.
Of course, lady, it's fucking sore.
I'm really sorry that happened to you.
You're welcome.
Hey, sorry, wrong day.
That's how you do it.
Do not do it with George again now.
I don't want to do it with George.
I want to do it now. Ready?
I'm gay. We're both gay.
Or you should be friends.
No, I want to be gay.
I want to be gay and we met on Grindr.
Jewry words have never been spoken.
Yeah, we met on Grindr.
Sure.
Hey.
Are you enjoying your mojito?
I'm loving it. Thank you so much for paying.
I can't do this. I can't watch.
Keep watching.
Put your head up.
You're going to learn a lot of things from this.
Yeah, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
Anyway...
Do you have a brother or sister?
Nope, I mean, yes.
Well, I did.
What happened?
There were both astronauts.
And you know the challenger?
Yeah. Oh my God.
Yeah, the thing challenger.
Well...
They were watching on TV at school.
And then they left and both got run over by a car.
Oh...
Suck my dick.
Hey, sorry to interrupt. Brownie a la cock.
Yeah, thank you. No problem.
Suck my dick.
Jesus Christ.
And scene.
We have to be serious now.
Because this guy really did lose his whole brother.
Yeah, this is a real thing.
I'm so sorry, dude.
Your brother really did.
Joseph.
Joseph.
I think that if you're on a date with somebody and someone asks you if you have siblings,
I think it's best to be transparent.
When I was 18 years old,
I lost my brother
and it was a really pivotal point.
It was a very terrible time for my family.
It's been 10 years
and I miss him every day.
And the girl should be able to handle that kind of information
and say, you know what?
I'm really sorry to hear that.
You know, siblings.
Things like that. Ask him.
If I were a girl, I'd ask about the brother.
What were you guys like growing up?
Were you guys really close?
About the memories he has with his brother?
That information shouldn't be
something that turns
a dinner
into silence.
It should be something that you should...
I would be so grateful to receive
that kind of intimate information
on the first date with somebody.
I would hold that and be like, you know what?
That's... Thank you for sharing that.
You're opening up to me.
I would feel honored to know that about you.
So
I think that you should continue to tell people
that you do have a brother.
He's passed, but you do have a brother.
Yeah, you're also not...
You're honoring him.
By talking about him.
By talking about him.
But you do it in a way of like, I love the guy.
I miss him so much.
And if this girl is real at all
and a cool chick,
she's going to be completely like...
Number one, she's like, oh, this guy's vulnerable.
Love that.
Love the vulnerability.
And number two, he's like an honest guy.
Like, there's no...
I think it's a good thing. If you lie
or you make it weird, that's not cool.
And I'm going to tell George
to take improv classes.
He has.
I'm ready to go back.
Because I'm out of it. Let's take one together.
New year.
No, we're doing it.
I'm already frightened by it.
That's perfect.
The only time you expand is when you're
afraid of something. That's like living
at the edge of your comfort zone is where life is lived.
That's the exciting part of love.
I would take that George Kimmel.
We'll do it.
I want to start a comedy school.
You should do it.
We're being real.
But like a non-profit.
Every time that we get is going to be through
probably for animals
or probably
supporting the Democratic
presidential nominee.
Is it Cortez?
We're thinking about doing
a six-week stand-up course
in LA.
It will be
I have a feeling that
it'll be people
who want to take it.
We're going to have submissions.
It's not going to be pretty people.
It's going to be people that we think that
by looking at them and seeing
I guess we'll have an essay
or something and reading about them
we can't have everyone
in it though. I'm afraid we're going to get
hundreds of people.
You don't think so?
Natasha, me and Mosha?
No, I'm just saying that's not a bad thing.
Then you have
20 people in the thing, right?
Make it competitive.
The next six weeks, the next time you do it
even more people will try it.
But I also said we should tape each one.
And maybe there's something in there.
Just even a shell
of us teaching this class.
Oh yeah.
Maybe an internet show or something.
Funny could occur just by us.
Man, I'm getting flashbacks of the show.
I thought I was in. I wrote my little essay.
I told everybody I knew
Kalyla and Steve to put in a report.
Hold on a second. Are you...
And then I did not get in. I'm just seeing
this is going to happen again. I'm going to submit my essay.
I'm going to do my best.
I know Bobby. I'm going to get in.
And then it's like the first day. It's like, nope, you didn't get in.
I'm going to hear my friends like
oh yeah, I got in. It was great.
It was so much fun. It was like the time of my life.
You didn't get
to go to the show show.
You didn't get selected. No, I did not.
I'm sorry, George.
Everybody, every guest on the Stevie Weeby
show that's been on comes in.
It was the most moving moment of my life.
It was so... It changed me.
I'm so close with everybody. What did that say about you?
Bobby didn't go.
My friends didn't back me up. I didn't go.
I didn't go. I didn't go.
I didn't get accepted in.
You got accepted.
I got invited. I got one.
I know. And I didn't go.
I don't think I could have used yours.
Any shows?
Tell them. When does this come out, George?
This is...
Today is...
The December
5th?
This is the December 5th.
So I'll be at the San Diego Comedy Company.
American Comedy Company in San Diego.
I wish this came out today.
Because the episode with Eric Griffin,
we got a facial extraction
and I look really oily.
And now I never want that episode to come out.
It looks great now.
Yeah, thanks, Jill.
Anyway, I gotta get ready.
Thank you.
Wow. Tremendous episode.
Are we doing some house cleaning?
We'll be right back.
For some house cleaning.
House cleaning?
We'll be right back with some house clapping.
Oh, and we are back.
Where's leprosy from?
Is it armadillo or an ant eater?
I don't even know what does that mean.
The etymology or the...
One of those two animals
harbors the pathogen for leprosy.
All I know about it is as soon as people
started washing regularly, they got rid of it.
It's a cleanliness thing
that you didn't have back in the
Jesus times.
So I'm safe.
I think leprosy is...
How armadillos can spread leprosy.
Armadillos are the only other animals
besides humans to host leprosy bacillus.
Oh, it's a bacteria.
So they can host it.
So they can get leprosy.
Interesting.
But you know how some animals are like birds?
They carry a lot of like viruses, but those viruses
don't affect them.
It's not the case, I think, that it actually
can... Who cares about
fucking armadillos and leprosy?
That was nature time with coli...
Who cares?
Okay, what else is up, guys? This is, as Gilbert
called it earlier, housekeeping.
Housekeeping.
George, anything we need to know?
Everything's on your sheets, sir. I already typed it up
earlier today and then forgot about it completely.
What sheets do we have? But guys, really,
check out our Patreon.
Last week's Patreon ended on a cliffhanger.
Big cliffhanger. I don't even know what happened.
I wasn't there and it sounded intense.
It was intense? I was saying it was really
very soprano's game of throny. Gilbert read
the comments. May I say why it was intense?
Because I wasn't allowed
to expound on my answer.
I gave an answer and
then all of a sudden George was like, click!
He turns it off. No.
Dead silence?
Hawaii.
I was like, what the fuck?
I'm glad I'm subscribed to the Patreon.
That's what I'm trying to say.
You bastard.
You fucking bastard. You clicked
it right before I even had a moment
to talk about it.
That was very
game of throny and they said
very Sanza aria.
Did I sound really like
I was... That was a game of throne ending.
I'm just sitting in
Alfreda, Georgia and all my phone starts blowing up.
Long ass comments. I'm like, what
happened? What comments where?
On the Patreon. Just long
ass comments. I was like, good god.
Did they hate me? No, they don't.
They're just more like
clouds, right? A lot of them were like, finally.
Finally.
We've been waiting for this.
Oh god, but you know that
you know what I mean?
He's a king at the end of the day.
You know what I mean? The king doesn't need
my approval for the way he lives.
But if you guys want to know
and are interested in this discussion
at all, definitely check out our Patreon.
We have a lot of exclusive
and
really, really more
private information on there.
On the private side of things, yeah.
Yeah, we're a little bit freer.
A little bit freer on there.
We experiment with some stuff.
We even did one with, we were talking to fans
on a Discord. We let people sit in
on our Patreon live.
I need to figure out Discord a little more.
I need to figure out Discord a little more since that was the only time I ever used it.
It was a test.
We need to retest it.
So make sure you check those episodes out
by going to
patreon.com
slash tigerbelly.
Callila, any news from you?
I just want to know if you guys are really
going to come with me to the Philippines.
I actually have to go.
Oh, really Gilbert?
Your free excuse?
Did you even know what time it is?
Did you even get the dates? Let him speak, George Kimmel!
Oh, you're a bad improviser!
Whoa!
Someone was upset about
earlier's fail on the mic.
I get interrupted every time!
You know what?
I am so proud of you for not letting him speak, actually.
That was the first time
you just were like, I'm going to keep going.
It was so funny, though, because it was like
okay, George, do the scenario with me.
Everyone knows the rule.
Yes, and the first thing George says, no.
But the best thing was Callila's face
was like, ah, dumbass.
You're still an improv
101, you dummy.
Hey, I didn't finish it. 301?
That you know to agree with them
for what they want.
Oh, really? I don't know anything about improv.
Well, you and George are taking it.
That's why when you said no, I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And I'm fucking, ah.
What am I going to say?
No.
I fucking short-circuited.
You agree to the scene, but not to everything that they want.
Oh, okay.
He was actually, yes, Andy, I was just giving him a hard time.
George did advance improv.
I am too rusty, though.
I am sorry.
But yes.
I told my grandparents
because they're leaving the Philippines,
I think in May.
So I have to visit at some point.
Before then.
It's going to be during pilot season.
I can probably go at the end of April.
We're not going at no end of April.
Why not?
That's not even in our timeline.
Because the end of April is so hot as a ball sack.
It's not that hot.
Is it hot?
I could fry six eggs on your forehead.
Is it like LA that's worse?
No, it's humid, dude.
Are you kidding me, Gilb?
I have not been out of the country.
I have no stamps on my passport.
Let me give you an explanation of just how hot it is
in the Philippines.
Like when you're sitting in,
like if you're sitting in like a cab with somebody, right?
Usually.
Do your thighs adhere to the person
next to you's thighs?
Normally. No.
Well, in the Philippines they will.
If you've never had your thigh attach itself
to the thigh of the person next to you,
you've never been in equatorial weather.
Damn. I guess I haven't been in equatorial
weather. And then you have, I have a permanent
sweat mustache.
As soon as I step out of the shower,
I'm already sweating. I hate that feeling.
It's wonderful. It's great for your circulation.
You're Filipino.
I bet you anything your psoriasis
will go away. Probably, right?
You don't have to drive out there.
You don't know. Come on. You have to give it a shot.
When are you trying to go?
Maybe like late Feb.
We were going to do a podcast out there.
We were going to try to shoot something out there.
You know, like a fish out of water show
for a bobo. Maybe you and bobo.
I love how your voice is getting higher.
I'm trying to sell this to you.
I'm sold.
Yeah, right. But you have to come back.
We're going to do our own pilot, basically.
You're not going to be in our pilot season?
As long as I get to improvise with George.
That's all it matters.
That's all I want.
Yeah, I think that it'll be fun.
We can still record out there.
We can meet our two fans from the Philippines.
No, we have a bunch.
I look at the lips and numbers.
Oh, yeah? Okay, sweet, sweet.
It's probably just my cousins.
All my family members.
This is Jules.
Yeah, podcasting is not a very big thing there yet.
It hasn't quite like...
I feel like we should have our own variety show.
Who says it's not in the works?
Who says we haven't already rehearsed and perfected one?
Check out the Patreon.
I won't be dancing.
But someone will.
I might be dancing.
She might.
I'm Filipino. It might be in my blood.
Where can we follow you?
You can follow me on all forms of social media.
Even though I'm not really on...
I don't do Snapchat.
Does anyone still do Snapchat?
I stopped.
IG story kind of took the place of that.
Calamity K.
Let me spell this right.
K-H-A-L-I...
See? You fucked me up because you were mousing it.
Sleek?
K-H-A-L-A-M-I-T-Y...
K.
Did you spell that right? I don't know.
And then George, where can they follow you?
Where can all the hot chicks...
Oh, I just want to give a shout out to Ki-Won Lee.
I think it's Kiwi Lee.
Let me find it real quick.
Have you hooked up with a fan?
Ever?
Hooked up, made out with...
I'm not talking about taking them on a date.
Back in the early days of Tiger Belly.
That was like...
No, when I first...
It was when I quit my job.
Right when the week that I quit, I went to a Mangchi show.
We had fans then?
Yeah.
I thought we were just doing it to ourselves.
That was the only time I ever met her.
I thought we were talking to ourselves for the first two years.
An echo chamber.
Just us.
Instagram. Kiwi underscore Lee.
That's my shout out.
K-I-W-I underscore L-E-E-E.
E.
Nice.
You look nice, baby. You look like a sushi chef.
My shout out is to a poon poon
from Atlanta, Georgia.
Shout out to you.
Thank you for buying our merch.
So guys, that's our show.
Follow us on Instagram at Tiger Belly
on the Twitter at TheTigerBelly.
Email us any questions, like, unhelpful advice
or concerns at thetigerbellyatgmail.com.
I don't know.
Oh my gosh.
Jorz just struck Bobby Lee.
Don't... Not the head, babe.
You can touch any part of his body.
Oh, you hit him in his nuts, Jorz?
You sacked half Bobby Lee.
Babe, come here. Are you okay, babe?
Come here.
Come here, babe. You okay?
This is the last episode you guys will...
Don't touch him!
Guys, George Kimmel.
UCB Advanced Improv 401.
Check it out.
That's our show.
Enjoy the rest of your week, your evening.
On the kitchen counter!
Okay, this is the craziest ending ever.
Bye!
Bye!
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