TigerBelly - Episode 180: Nick Rutherford is Sharkboy

Episode Date: February 6, 2019

Bobo is Bhagwan. Nick jumps into mud. We talk Wolverine claws, serving tables, empires, puzzles, and getting kicked in the dick.Watch Bobby on ABC's Splitting up Together TUESDAYS 9:30/8:30cB...onus content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus
Starting point is 00:03:33 You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus Have you guys seen Abducted in Plain Sight yet on Netflix? I want to know where his head is at You gotta forgive him though LA people in the rain don't know
Starting point is 00:06:15 Oh it is raining is it not? There's a squall outside What's the song? Blame it on the rain Milly Vanilly Do you remember the other one? Yeah What other song?
Starting point is 00:06:29 Just give me the beginning of it Just give me the first couple of words Because when you said blame it on the rain, it escaped my head too You don't know either You don't know either We sing it all the time together And I was right about to say it And then he sang the blame it on
Starting point is 00:06:47 I'm like oh fuck Who did that whole joke about like Did they kill themselves Milly Vanilly? One of them did right? Or is that like a Remember Urban Legends used to be a thing before Google? I heard that one of the guys had jumped off a building And then while he was up on the building
Starting point is 00:07:03 Somebody yelled out Are you gonna jump or are you gonna let somebody else jump for you? That's a good one That's an old one Remember when Urban Legends used to be a thing And you couldn't like you know Cross-reference anything and you would just believe them Right yeah because Urban Legends come from something
Starting point is 00:07:23 Before Google, before Snopes Now you can look at Snopes and they can just debunk everything What is an Urban Legend off hand? Like that one Urban Legend I'm sure I've told it on the podcast And then that girl gets weird balls in her mouth Hold on hold on hold on I'm gonna pretend I'm not even in the room
Starting point is 00:07:37 What do I do? Oh like casual Like we haven't started at all I guess I'll keep trying to fix this Because we actually need to fix this Fix the interference scope Hi Nick Hey what's up
Starting point is 00:07:50 Gilbert Nice to meet you I met once before at the Ice House Nice to meet you It's all you man You see we got waters for you We got coffees We got all sorts of stuff
Starting point is 00:08:01 There he is You said turn everything on Bobby Turn everything on Got it It's gonna catch your predator It's gonna catch your predator Rutherford Bowntown 64
Starting point is 00:08:22 Why don't you have a seat Why don't you have a seat Sit down sit down Have a seat have a seat Yeah so uh I brought my Zimas Yeah yeah Where's Melody?
Starting point is 00:08:32 I was here to name Melody Yeah I didn't like the way his approach was Who? Chris Hansen Yeah that was the big Because I would be scared Because you'd come out of a door
Starting point is 00:08:43 With the sexual predator Yeah yeah You know my problem with that Chris Hansen No I mean what he was doing was like You know he was He needed to do what he was doing Because he's stopping you know
Starting point is 00:08:56 But just the way he would enter Was a little shocking to me Just out of nowhere I imagine You're about to get You're like you're like oh my god I got You know You're in a soft hand the predators Yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:09:08 Yeah yeah But I like that he would swoop in with a clipboard And be like have a seat wouldn't you Yeah yeah yeah He had paperwork with him Yeah yeah Which is like cool It was always like
Starting point is 00:09:18 You are a starmaster 69 Yeah And you said I want you to taste my cum And he'd be like I don't know man I'm here just to hang out Yeah yeah She needed a friend
Starting point is 00:09:29 I like that Sometimes they go No I just wanted to be her friend Because To try to protect her from people like me You're a 50 year old man You want to be friends Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:40 And then you say That was good Chris Hansen dude And then I go Yeah Anyway Nick have you seen him Abducted in plain sight yet No I haven't
Starting point is 00:09:50 But this isn't how the podcast goes dude Oh we count down How it goes we do the countdown You don't say anything I can be a part of the countdown though No you're not a part of anything You shouldn't say anything Can I say three
Starting point is 00:10:00 No you don't even have to do that Alright Alright so Before we start We're not going to add this stuff So we're not going to add what we said So put that down man That's not your fucking you
Starting point is 00:10:12 You want one What are you saying It's a ridge wallet You know what those are I'll show you Seems like a mistake Yeah that's not a mistake So these are wallets that we all use
Starting point is 00:10:20 And it's got You put your credit cards here As RFID protection Yeah And you put your money here You want one I mean yeah Yeah get them one
Starting point is 00:10:31 You're going Nick I'm like can you get a stack of them These are expensive dude You got one for free dude Thank you We were sponsored by them They're great Don't open it now
Starting point is 00:10:41 Do it later Yeah Should I turn everything on Yeah let's turn everything on Until I say your name You don't introduce I don't get to say three or four No this is just the rule
Starting point is 00:10:52 Okay I love you dude Thanks for coming Hey man Don't even touch me Don't even touch with your fucking You have skinny fingers Did you lose weight
Starting point is 00:11:01 You look Anyway let's go at the start I got really into coke Go ahead Five Four Three Two
Starting point is 00:11:10 One What's going on No Three Two One You're coming You're coming
Starting point is 00:11:18 Here Here Go looking at me Are you ready Yeah Fire Fire You're coming
Starting point is 00:11:26 Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on
Starting point is 00:11:34 Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on welcome to the tiger belly I'm your captain Bob Bob Lee the magnificent the translucent the forever one yes I'm a forever one we got white that's him that's new yeah yeah we fuck white all right you're a shit
Starting point is 00:12:04 head remember that okay we got his cousin fuck white junior this one's my favorite one this one right here is better than this one new and improved right here Bryce we got fat flat was that yes that's right we got my girlfriend Kaleila the princess of all lotus flowers we got me Bob captain Bob now listen we've had so many guests on the show we've had maybe maybe a guest we've had on the show modern families Eric Stone Street Stone Street we did it yeah was he on time I think he was five minutes early yeah it was five minutes early correct yeah yeah we've had some African-Americans right the director of
Starting point is 00:12:50 get out yeah he was on time correct ten minutes early that's great now the biggest guess you've ever heard because yeah yeah now this next guy coming I've done he's here already but I did a college gig with you remember that college yeah I drove crazy rented a car yeah yeah and that was a weird gig but we had fun we had a meal afterwards at pizza or something where they wrote you a letter afterwards no that was a different yes that was one they wrote me a letter saying no they wrote an article up do you read that article now where I was yeah they're like I wasn't good right they know basically they just were
Starting point is 00:13:36 like furious furious about me your material because it was too crude to this to that you know college kids yeah yeah yeah yeah I got the I remember there was an article I read and I was really bummed about it this next guy also was a writer on SNL he he was on a billboard a couple a month ago what was that billboard by the story was your face right and it was some sci-fi that sci-fi show yeah dream corp LLC dream corp LSE what channel was that on adult swim adult swim yeah and you were that was a really good thing for you just in terms of looking at that I was like and the busiest street on
Starting point is 00:14:14 sunset you're fucking big face there been on a billboard before if you're weird I am no right you've been on billboards right one time I for animal practice yeah I'm on a show now but they will put don't use me for the um what's so funny fuck white huh the day I see you on a fucking billboard is the day I die friend okay it's the day I die and I'm gonna say this right you're gonna buy a tiger belly billboard I think there are you really there was a go fund me and started on behalf of your desire really on a billboard I really want to be on a billboard bad like but my own you know the way I want to drag we talk
Starting point is 00:14:59 about the issues in the world the one that's at the forefront of my mind is getting you on a billboard yeah thank you thank you we need to go find me for anything right my press for about yeah you have cheeks like a chipmunk right you have you know I said pretty bunch hair you know you're a very funny young man and you called me the other day because you're promoting something I'm glad you did the research what you sent me you fucking texted me I actually emailed you you know I didn't get the email but you texted me a photo of a new movie that you're in yeah and it looks great it's very good yeah and what is
Starting point is 00:15:42 the movie called it's called the unicorn that's right the unicorn yeah right that's the the horse with the thing in the head I was just in your bathroom you have a drawing of a that's right I do I love them yeah I really love unicorns it's all about unicorns no but there's really no unicorn on the poster though I don't know how closely you looked at the poster there definitely is a unit there is are you being real you yeah you may have missed it because it's neon pink and it envelopes everybody on the poster right yeah all I saw was six whiteheads of people actors okay here we go five no
Starting point is 00:16:22 I'm just no I'm not being that's what I saw I know I'm Mexican oh that's what you are yeah that's right that's all right so you saw five white guys yeah yeah yeah so then so this move when does it come out it came out this weekend it's done when does this go up tomorrow night okay tomorrow is perfect because now it's on it now it's on iTunes and Amazon oh it is yeah Tuesday so we can watch it immediately you can watch it right now right yeah the unicorn what is it about it's about me and Lauren Lapkus is my fiance she's very very funny and we are kind of bored and boring people and we spend one night in Palm Springs we
Starting point is 00:17:04 kind of find out that her parents who are very much in love me have threesomes oh yeah and so we're like fuck should we be doing that yeah everybody's rock hard in the room right have you been in threesome I've never been in the threesome you've never know who raised your hand anyone in the room that's been in threesome right you just ask that price price yeah yeah price you were in a threesome who's the third person George clearly George is he George wait you guys really cousins and they are cousins yeah of course George has his cousin working on this so you you were in a threesome with what was it two dudes and
Starting point is 00:17:50 one girl I can see that look the way he's cuz my threesome has been with two guys every time every time two other guys yeah I did a I did a fivesome okay with three guys and two girls it's not fun it's not fun at all I could tell you that story and then I did a threesome with a guy named Michael Burton and another comedian a female comedian and I forgot her I know her name but I'm gonna say it because it's it's a little you forgot it I forgot you forgot it but that was um because it's my ex girlfriend you mean Jade I do mean Jade yeah no no it wasn't Jade what happened between you two oh god this is
Starting point is 00:18:33 like minute two don't wait first old Nick kind of just say this in my podcast right I love you bro and that's let me say something right now there are people that want to be on this podcast like we have a list of so many fucking people that want to do it people give me shit about all the time I bumped people for you to get on thank you I really what I'm saying to you right now I'm a fan of the way I do it I'm gonna ask you questions about things that you might not want to go if you don't know we can make you can we can cut it out no it's fine I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings right cuz she's done ours
Starting point is 00:19:06 twice right you had jay twice yeah yeah yeah yeah cuz what movie shape her money but it didn't end up terribly or I think it I think it saw the natural end we were not making each other happy right we were we were we had so many built-up resentments and we were just we were better off right yeah but you guys don't talk or no we talk a little we talk a little bit because we have this apartment in New York that we just rent but that we air B&B so there's always the conversations are about like oh did you call the maid or should we let this guy book the apartment like that well it's all very business yeah yeah because
Starting point is 00:19:54 I honestly thought and that we were this is we'll just we'll we're gonna brush upon it we're gonna move on to the next thing we can get into it but I don't I don't want to get into it I don't like it because she's you both are family and I don't I don't even know I don't want to get into it right yeah yeah but we're all family and there's no size of being take take take in here we love we love everyone but um but I always thought that you two were gonna be forever well you're terrible instinct yeah you can't read every room at all I mean I thought I'd do it for like eight years or seven all right yeah you guys got a house
Starting point is 00:20:36 together who has the house it's my house right so she lives somewhere else I don't care where she was yeah yeah she lives somewhere else she's comfortable and happy and I you know I mean I wish are the obviously I wish you're the best yeah I wish you're the best till well you're a friend you see her all the time you're probably you see I see I do see her a lot I don't see you that off I haven't seen you since we've definitely since we broke up that it is true right yeah that's weird I know yeah because I always you know we go ahead well because you always gave me great advice about her and the one
Starting point is 00:21:10 thing was you said let her don't take away Wolverine's claws do you remember this because I'm a very jealous human yeah and she's a very magnum magnamious yeah George like never know we make up words here all the time and that's that put that down that's a man I'm a magnum as person yeah and she commands a lot of attention and like I'm a very small and petty little worm yeah and so I was always like why is she talking to somebody else and not me and you were like don't take away Wolverine's claws you told me this at that at that at that Italian restaurant after the college day yeah yeah yeah I remember that I
Starting point is 00:21:46 remember us just you and I were the only ones there sitting there after this day we set a photo yeah yeah we did we set up a photo and I just remember just eating with you and that was a memorable I don't know why oh it meant a lot to me too no I'm being real no I am too I'm yeah yeah because I remember that photo yeah I do Jersey or something yeah it was somewhere like yeah or it's North Carolina it was Jersey it was Jersey from New York that's right it was New Jersey I got like a go-kart yeah and this is when you were were you on SNL then I was right on this you're riding on SNL and then I remember meeting you there at
Starting point is 00:22:20 the gig and we had that weird pizza but I don't know why there's different you know things I've done so many things but I just remember that moment distinctly here's another moment I remember when before you guys dated you and Jade and being in Vegas with Jade and her talking about you oh my god this guy Nick Rutherford and just I just remembered that distinctly as well you know well what do you want is she gonna show up we're gonna move on from it okay it's fine I mean again I don't I never want to take advantage of a situation or take advantage of a human and so I just don't want anybody to be the butt of the joke
Starting point is 00:23:05 or yeah and we're not doing that I just wanted to because we're all we all know each other and because this is the kind of podcast that I run we talk about personal things we you know and if you don't like what we're saying you can we could always cut it out for you but I don't think we've I don't know I don't worry that we need to do that really right now I will know I don't think so either I like you know I am not in love with Jade I will always be I will always love Jade I think she's a great human yeah and she's insanely funny and talented yeah and we and I know it sounds very political but we we just
Starting point is 00:23:47 weren't we weren't working out right yeah that's not it that's what we now we we touched upon it now we can fucking move on from it and we that it we'll never talk about it again okay friend okay yeah here's another thing I wanted to talk about before we go into other things okay is I just want to know how long you were at SNL and then why did you leave and all that kind of stuff I was at SNL for a year yeah one year one full season 40 episodes yeah and I left because they fired me and they didn't want me around there well that's uncomfortable no it's not a comfortable I like my time there and we
Starting point is 00:24:29 weren't making each other happy anymore yeah yeah because I remember you telling stories though yeah how cool it was like you were like oh my god Jim Kerry was here and we you know or in you all these people that you were like that would come into the office and you guys would write things and I just remember feeling your excitement about it and then and then in my head you know and I'll just be honest with you you know I thought that you were being treated poorly there I think that number one right if you're gonna hire good neighbor hire everybody okay yeah number two you're the one you were the didn't you
Starting point is 00:25:09 start good neighbor we all started a good neighbor you started it you started I started good name right and also on top of it I'm gonna say that you know I honestly view you as a legitimate comedy entity I think that you're very talented and funny and you have this um you're a very nice guy but there's an edge yeah there we go there's an edge about you that you know and but let me say this too since you've got left you've been killing it thank you I agree with you I don't I'm killing it and no I don't think it's like it wasn't a match it was it didn't work and it's was fucked I mean we talked you were and I
Starting point is 00:26:03 don't know if you how much you know this but like at the time like Jade was opening for you and so I would like maybe host or something or get a guest spot right so there was a lot of like long beach sets where I would come with you and I was in the middle of it like probably before I got hired and my comedy team had been swept underneath me and like taken away and I got left out and I was fucking wrecked by it I was really wrecked you were really really smart and nice to me do you remember any of this I 100% that's why I'm saying it right now because I remember you being to me even hearing about it it
Starting point is 00:26:34 devastated me because I liked you so much and I'm like this you know I just doesn't make any really sense and then I'll just see you in that state must have been so fucking weird and difficult I can't even do but you know what that's what at the end of the day dude it's like Jeff Richards not that I'm plumping you with Jeff Richards but there's a guy named Jeff Richards he was on mad TV for seven episodes he's a good friend of mine he got let go then he did SNL for couple years he got let go and then he spent ten years getting over trying to get back into you know getting reps and trying to get back into the the business
Starting point is 00:27:17 because he was just so devastated by it but now I see Jeff on the road now he's getting booked he's getting some he's getting some social media following and he didn't quit like he he's persevering and he had some really fucked up difficult times you know not that you went through that but what I when I see you you know like on the bill when I was driving on the street I'm imagine and looking at you after all the things I know that you went through it makes me feel I'm being real now I want to cry almost I know I know it makes me feel like oh I'm not gonna quit you know you can't quit quitting is that's when you
Starting point is 00:27:59 lose yes yeah yeah yeah there's been a lot of people have been like man you just got kicked in the dick over and over again yeah and it's like yeah but this is what I do I just get kicked in the dick and yeah yeah I'm really good at getting kicked in the dick yeah but you're also good about putting your hands on your dick after you got kicked standing back up and just getting right into the camera right in the camera and go oh mama that's my thing yeah oh mama guy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh mama but um yeah I think I do I just think I'm just really happy for you dude thanks and then when you called me about
Starting point is 00:28:34 promoting this movie I was ready to reach out to you for maybe maybe two years yeah you can put that cap anywhere it's on the ground now it's fine and then I was very nervous I was like I know you have a reach and you guys like people and I want people to see this film so that was really where it came out well you know we and I would like to reach out to you in other ways like let's go get pizza in a weird New Jersey here's what how you can help me okay here's how you can help me one day I know you tell me this all the time right this is that and you know and you know Papa's had a resurgence in the last couple years which I
Starting point is 00:29:11 don't think is warranted but go on did that burn but then it didn't yeah right you know you know I laughed just as a defense mechanism and I've got a little bit of rage but then it's subsided and I'm happy again you know I'm on a show now you know I got this I'm getting back into things it's great it's what never heard of the show I'm on a sitcom what's the sitcom it's called splitting up together it's an ABC show meet Jenna Fisher Jenna Fisher Pam yeah who who yelled at me the other day by the way really well I don't say this story I want to because we're made
Starting point is 00:30:02 we made up it was it was my fault it was warranted it was warranted and I fucked up I apologize she did this because this is everything I wanted to say to you for the past six years yeah yeah so this is what happened so there's this lady that's on our who guest stars her name is Monica Barbaro oh top gun and she's on the new top gun movie but she she plays the love interest of Oliver in the show that I'm on right and because of her tops done schedule we had to shoot all her coverage weeks ago on a weekend right and then we did all our coverage this week so we you're acting to like an AD yeah AD basically right and also in
Starting point is 00:30:46 the coverage that we have I don't say anything it's just reaction of her talking or her singing a song whatever right and I'm just going you know whatever you know that that's not what I did but you know but in what takes I didn't say I don't know my mom you burn the lens and I have this habit and it's not a good habit and and it's funny because I know that people have been annoyed by my behavior in previous you know jobs that I've done what's the habit is I just if it's not my coverage I will say the lines and I have my lines memorized and I'll give you everything but I also tweet and look at
Starting point is 00:31:29 Instagram and I play games you know I mean yeah it's not even when they're it's rolling it's just like but in this particular time I know that there was a three-shot on Jen a bunch of people right and I was off to the side I know that I wasn't on-screen but you know I mean I still had to be there yeah yeah sure so I just started playing this game called empires and puzzles right we all know it shout out yeah yeah yeah it's a great game so it's not you know me and playing it and then just just go just Jenna just goes Bobby what the fuck are you doing she's not wrong I know she's not and I was so embarrassed then that
Starting point is 00:32:07 was like the last take so I got up and I just walked away and I went to craft servers I just start pacing like what the fuck are you doing what did you do what are you doing Bobby you know I like her she's so nice I love working with her and she did that and then and then she got on a bus and she went away so I couldn't even say she got in a bus you know the van to go back to the cane but then the next day I walked up to her and I go I am so deep and she was she's like oh yeah I she's like you just you know just don't do that like yeah I'm not gonna she's like I love you I know you know everything was good yeah but
Starting point is 00:32:49 that she needed to do she somebody well it's very boring it's like very very boring to be on a set it's so fucking slow sometimes yeah so you got to get into questions and kingdoms what is it what conquerors and parts and puzzles comparison puzzles yeah another thing that they do and I'm not complaining but this is what you're gonna want to cut out by the way no I'm not gonna cut out no I talk about this all the time okay okay I love the show and I love being on it and they know that I do and everyone loves me and everything's great and I show up on time and I know my lines okay I'm gonna say this okay is that the
Starting point is 00:33:27 other day maybe a month ago there was a scene late night we're shooting at night and my wife on the shows her name is Lindsay Price and we're sitting there for hours going I don't know why we're here right and she's like yeah but I think we just they haven't told us that we're done and then some guy goes some guy that is a craft service or what he goes hey what are you guys doing or they're your car because we have a Tesla in the show that and it's gone from the driveway which means oh you guys are not yeah why are we even there at this house so I went up to the director and I go this is three hours and he looks you
Starting point is 00:34:13 know what are you doing here they didn't wrap you like yeah for like hours he's like not after what you pulled a Jenna yesterday no but that was before so they just do those things like that you know I mean this should happen this should happen all the time on Dreamcorp to like you know the Hollywood thing hurry up and wait yeah you're you're always on call and then you basically spend most of your time sitting down being nervous about fucking something up yeah right yeah that's the whole game that's the whole game yeah what I did that you know that movie that I did with the car that whether not the Kardashians but the
Starting point is 00:34:50 Joanns Jo Naskins that the the Australian boys oh yeah I did a YouTube movie right and I got there at 4 p.m. 9 a.m. the next day I still hadn't shot like that full day a full day went by they didn't tell you like and that night yeah at 9 a.m. I kind of I said slept and wander I was light out and wonder you know how you sleep for a long time you go where am I what day is it and I go to the lady I go I'm sorry I fell asleep like six hours but I got here yesterday at five and I go what's going on who's this lady but yeah yeah and she goes oh you're not we're not shooting you now you'd no one told you it moved on
Starting point is 00:35:34 to the thing you know they're gonna get your coverage you know whatever and I'm like what the fuck but that's you know that's what that's YouTube movies though I didn't catch that one yeah yeah yeah I'm waiting for my red account to what don't be mean about it because you fucking awesome hey Amazon or something if you're here that ricketing but it's crazy that you're in a film with or you're in a show with Jenna fish with Pam because the one of the EPs of Dream Corp is Jim from the office John Krasinski really yeah oh that's weird and he's awesome yeah he's great yeah he's really rad who's that I love that
Starting point is 00:36:19 movie the quiet place quiet place oh crap he's very he wrote it and he started it right that movie was a fucking amazing yeah it was really really good did you see hereditary yes stop everyone stop everyone stop you too would you like it I don't know if I know what happened during it but did you like the movie when you walked out I was very shook me too yeah I didn't like I was very uncomfortable yeah me too yeah I just saw very similar vibes I think enter the void you seen that oh don't watch it why it's this movie by this guy gasp his first name is gasper by the way gasper no I think no he did the other movie was
Starting point is 00:37:07 it love yeah he did so much yeah some of his stuff is like normal palatable stuff and other stuff is like this movie is like about a guy who dies while tripping on DMT oh tripping through like Tokyo what basically like watching his existence and like he's like a spirit rolling through so he sees his sister and the shit she's going through and like fucking gnarly it doesn't ever let up and you're like what else what else can we have and then it's like oh here's a live abortion that we're gonna show you I swear to God it's not even that none of this is funny the yeah yeah and then it ends usually live abortions are funny
Starting point is 00:37:42 but yeah but not this one not the way they show yeah yeah and then yep that should be there yeah you gotta be there yeah there's no color there was no color guy and then it ends with you you're in a vagina and coming at you so you're in like oh no no no there's really a penis had coming at you yeah and then it's like please don't come on me and then it comes on you no they show calm yeah oh you're bathed in it by the end it's I saw as a viewer you're bathed and calm I saw it in Ford Ford II had just guys that in front of your car yeah it was me but yeah I was standing though that's what you're asking wow so you would you
Starting point is 00:38:24 wouldn't recommend that it's really it's a real rough rally yeah that's also two hours and like 30 minutes like way too long it's very there's no they don't let you up and that was the same with her editor is just like please let me out of this movie yeah yeah yeah and then like that when she's on our fucking own neck yeah so gnarly so gnarly yeah I found that movie to be and then people say it's a piece of shit this and that people all the time I had comics I've had comics go I walked out or I hated that movie or I'm like I saw it three times in theater that's how much I loved that movie I liked it I want it I'd like
Starting point is 00:39:05 that type of stuff yeah it's not I wouldn't feel good yeah it's not a good movie and I don't need it to be a feel-good movie yeah that's like requiem for a dream I can only watch yeah all I remember is Marlon brand Marlon Wayans is ass oh his naked ass on the bed that's the only thing I remember of it oh yeah the chopped off arm I remember but also Marlon Wayans is ass I don't remember that or just even do you want to talk I think he's ass Marlon Wayans is really like moving on to this I have to say in that movie and I've told them this before good ass like in terms of I'm being real I mean this is
Starting point is 00:39:51 a roundabout way to get to Marlon Wayans ass to open up with hereditary yeah cuz I knew she was gonna bring up yeah Marlon Wayans ass what a great ass good threading yeah I don't remember is he getting is he also doing something that is one do because of drugs probably yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no I don't I don't remember him being I think the hour yeah yeah yeah but the most disturbing part was the mom oh the mom and what's her name what's her name again Ellen person oh my god right in that yeah when she's like it's like like it's almost like a like a security camera and she's like in the in her kitchen like
Starting point is 00:40:35 moving sure I'm just obsessing over that one show over and over yeah and that the show starts talking to her yeah baby on the ceiling oh yeah if you haven't seen it hey guys if you haven't seen it that's it's a must-watch one at least one time it's Arnav ski right that he did black swan oh I like he did the wrestler didn't do the wrestler the wrestler the wrestler would make it work I think he did that as well you didn't like mother oh you don't like was he did mother I like mother because I like that it was like this poem the whole thing was this like weird poem about yes allegory about women and like how people like you use
Starting point is 00:41:15 them up and I don't you know I walk out of that movie crying it's really I get I totally got well it's more like art in my right but I like that I mean I also thought the shots were just crazy like going from the war to the thing and then then it goes too much like with the baby yeah it's really rough I saw one if you haven't seen it Nicholas Cage's Mandy no Mandy oh Mandy's great dude did you see Mandy flat face oh my god yeah it's like a flat hey flat-flat hey flat-flat Mandy dude have you seen Mandy fuck white he's one oh yeah I showed you brother I told you watching the theaters it was on theaters for a minute you saw
Starting point is 00:41:58 in the movie there no I want to oh yeah dude there's let me see something about Mandy dude number one from the beginning of the movie you're like okay this is an complete LSD trip just in terms of choice the color there was also somebody saturated those are somebody that kind of knew what he wanted to make you could tell that up front sometimes you watch a movie you go oh they don't really know what they they really want to do right it shifts you know yeah but this guy right from beginning you're like okay I'm in good hands because this guy this is he knows what he wants to do yeah he wants to make a statement right and it's
Starting point is 00:42:38 a revenge movie which I love which I love revenge movies you got a hate box I haven't don't you have a hate box I know you tell me to have a hate box I told you that yeah what did I say this was outside of like the improv remember oh I remember all this is like this is when we really started to become friends I think yeah before the New York trip but we were outside of the like Long Beach improv or something yeah maybe in that like alleyway smoke there isn't one but let's just suppose there isn't we're at the long the long beast no I don't think it was a laugh factory oh it might have been a laugh factory with the with the
Starting point is 00:43:12 thing yeah yeah yeah yeah with the carousel and I was in the middle of like figuring out what that meant to not be brought on with all my buddies onto this cool show and you were just like just pack them all into a hate box close it up pack them deep inside your heart yeah in retrospect terrible advice but you were like cancer I've been here yeah turns it yeah turns into the first show that part yeah yeah and I was like it was just right you were very you know you're very nice and cool and you got it and you're like dude we all get fucked over and it's okay like that's basically what you were saying but no no well it you
Starting point is 00:43:51 know I think I'm saying it wrong it's not a hate box what it is is it's a hate engine oh it feels you right you put the the resentments and the hate and all that you don't lash out on people you put it in this engine and it motivates you to it's like going right it's like Cole you're there you're the snow piercer that's exactly wow that's another good movie and that's a good fucking reference yeah I'm a train right and you're basically and you can't stop if you stop you die so you put that's another good one that we should write a book you and I I'm down what certain types of sharks they can't ever stop
Starting point is 00:44:33 moving or else they'll die yeah you got to keep going and every once in a while you gotta you kind of go why am I doing all this even this podcast I just sit around sometimes I wonder that too and you go oh no I gotta keep it going this is all a part of well it is very much if you're like I feel like I'm a shark like not in the sense that I'm like eating things but yeah like if I don't stop working like my whole life my whole identity is based on work from a very young age like I just work and so if I don't work who am I anyway that sounds like a good time for a commercial break
Starting point is 00:45:12 Ridge wallet um just on the side is your brother okay yeah he's okay he's okay is that not no no he's okay actually like if we get on time I'm gonna go watch him do an improv show in LA also he's is he sober he's sober well he's clean he's not sober but as long as he's doing better yeah that's the most important thing and that's another thing that I identified with you with because I would remember when my brother Steve oh yeah how's he's doing great he has his own chat show that he produces that's called the Stevie Webe show well he always was an amazing artist like yeah yeah like yeah I think he had a good
Starting point is 00:45:52 outlet he's a good outlet but he's a funny guy he does oh he's so sweet he's a sweet you know you know Steve yeah yeah yeah yeah and he he's got 10 years sober now and no he I'm so proud and happy to be his brother because you know he could have ended up dead yeah right if you just well you have a you could have ended up dead at some point no we don't talk about it yeah think about it I'm on my way no do you look you look great like you you're not used to be a little chunkier you have a yogi's body yeah you're thin I do a lot of you look really good right now and happy almost I'm very happy I'm dating somebody
Starting point is 00:46:33 now hence the yogi body is she hippie hippie or what no she's not hippie well that's not true she is reading Osho yeah yeah she's a baguan no she's not she's like a linguist she's like in like the academia she's like oh wow yeah she's how do you meet someone like that at a party just a part not even interesting story I was trying to make up a funny version of the reality but it was just like got a party at a he died right yeah we watch it together and then recently we traveled together and we found this book from Osho yeah and she was like I want to read this and now she's way into it she's very spiritual
Starting point is 00:47:24 but she's also very intelligent like she's a smart girl but Osho had a lot of great messages I think he was okay yeah I think she was she was like you know she was trying to make it a thing and it was becoming a thing I also think he's maybe creepy so I like I take a little bit of what he says with the grain of salt yeah he was a really brilliant man with still the messiah complex yeah yeah yeah he loved being a dork when you see him dancing with like yeah women it's like Rolls Royce yeah yeah this guy is not Jesus no and nobody will be can we take a quick prayer do you think I have the ability to be baguan
Starting point is 00:48:10 to be that type of figure I would say you're on the way I would say do you think I have the ability you literally just have to say anything and own it like you just say something and say anything else is because I'll be honest with you I'm full of shit so was he I know but like little things that I tell young comics and people I have young comics coming to me all the time oh like you just did oh yeah back in you know 2003 you said this to me Ari Shafir used to write the things I used to say to him and put it in like a poster as advice and put it on the you know that was his like vision board right
Starting point is 00:48:51 right and I do that right because I want to pretend that I'm this guy that's been doing comedy for so long that I have knowledge but at the end of the day I don't know nothing but I think that it's really like Baguan's a perfect example of knowing how to relay a message he was very like prophetic in that way where it's like he commanded your attention even though what he was saying like was probably equally as profound as the next guy yeah but he had an essence about him he he had like he you know he just captured your ears in that way and I think you do too yeah that's truly it and if you have a strong message that's
Starting point is 00:49:27 all people want the other day you convinced us that the reason Asians put their hands behind their back because they made special belts that hide and we all believe you want a 20-minute like history lesson we're like yeah because they were like how why do old Asian men walk like this sometimes every once in a while ago this is time for a lie see if you can do it yeah and I said they're like that back in the day a thousand years ago all Asian men in Korea especially especially felt right and they would hide their knives in these two slots behind their back right I don't believe in it and people would like
Starting point is 00:50:05 walk like that and if anyone was walking like that you knew not to fuck with them because he had these knives in the back a back of them and over years of doing it now just people just do that so all the younger Koreans are now genetically predisposed to walking in that way because of the knives yeah and I sat there and I was like wow I didn't know that she's trying to add information like oh that's why I squat yeah that's literally what it takes to be a guru just make stuff up like that like even Eckhart told babe I know we love him yeah but the guy's foolish it is a perfect example shit yeah yeah well
Starting point is 00:50:51 I'll tell you why I know Deepak Chopra is a full of shit and it broke my heart because you know he you know he had his own center in La Jolla where I lived and I ran into a couple of waiters you know just front when I was living down there and they said oh yeah he comes to a restaurant and he doesn't tip I like that that's where it takes down no but to me though yeah to me is if any somebody doesn't tip well oh yeah there's a part of the there's something there's a selfishness or something about them that's not they're not generous or you know they don't get there they're so disconnected to the working class they
Starting point is 00:51:32 don't know what it's like do waiting tables I think is the one of the hardest fucking job everybody should have to wait yes yeah yeah because have you used to do it right oh yeah for years oh my yeah right and I kind of you ever miss it well you mean being slammed yeah being slammed coming back from break and somebody's like at table 14 I never got their guac and blah blah yeah I love that shit like you're like oh man like spin all this place I love that you are shark wow well I mean like I it's I know now looking back it was a it's rose colored glasses like that was fun to have like a community and like take your
Starting point is 00:52:06 30-minute break and like have two margaritas at the bar and then yeah I'm very much happier now and but like there's something about it that's very romanticized struggle I really yeah yeah me too yeah yeah when you're when you have like 12 sections and table number eight goes can we get some catch up and then you'll get you're out to get catch up then within two other tables stop you can I get ice we don't have a spoon right now you have three things right but then now food is coming for a different table and you can see it on the thing right and now you're running around like a fucking madman and it doesn't let up
Starting point is 00:52:41 and never let's it never lets up right it was like a they were like what we do now it's hard to define success or not right but that it's successful if you get them their orange chicken or whatever it was you were serving them so what's up what's up oh I just a random no but I'm just saying though why orange chicken oh just a first thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so let's say Kung Pao chicken okay yeah yeah so you're bringing them general so's chicken right I'm just saying I'm random food I just want anyone to listen and then you're laughing a little too hard on that and I like it I like what
Starting point is 00:53:18 you're doing but my point is this is that the thing is is that this thing is this all right is is that I served American food go ahead where do you work Brockton Villa it was in La Jolla I was at a cove this La Jolla like San Diego right not in Beijing not that La Jolla is that we're saying not Beijing I did it okay now you're getting a little defensive it's La Jolla right okay can we cut that one yeah I served at BJ's pizzeria oh wow macaroni grill and then what's that big place in the Beverly Center it's like no it's like the you don't even remember what it was called Grand Luxe cafe yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:54:10 yeah all on fancy cheese for like a full year and a half okay I go to the Grand Luxe in Vegas inside of it's okay it's like a nice it's good it's a nice cheesecake yeah it's a better than cheesecake factory do you want to know why Grand Luxe cafe exists because cheesecake factory was so popular but cheesecake factory had this contract with wherever it was like Caesar's I think that they could not open a second seat cheesecake factor within 10 miles but they were so popular so they made a new restaurant con concept called Grand Luxe cafe exactly the same exact thing the menus huge the servings are fucking
Starting point is 00:54:46 huge yeah yeah and they were like we're just gonna do something slightly different and then be while they successful too and Grand Luxe cafe has never closed in it's like a 25 restaurant they have friars that have never ever been not frying food since the day they open sharks yeah sharks yeah a guy went to high school with Kevin Shull one day he bragged to me because he does like he works at a place where they they do walls that they they draw on walls like art and he goes yeah we did the lines on the Grand Luxe cafe like the little curly lines like the drawing and I go I don't give a fuck it's very fine
Starting point is 00:55:28 work it is fucking brag about that you write like articles about the inside of it of cheesecake factories how they do yeah like that's a big missing out then it's like a mishmash of everything and like the Renaissance period I like that yeah just have mashup like they forget like hand blown glass from Italy yeah they're like really and also when you work there like you're getting trained by a corporate trainer who's like this is the best restaurant in the world you're just buy into it immediately yeah you're in but it's so funny that you waited because I don't see you because I feel like there is an edge to you like
Starting point is 00:56:06 not I mean not that you're bitter but there is an edge to you that I just can't see you waiting tables really did you ever snap no I never snapped I waited tables I delivered pizzas like I was service industry guy wow that was way into it but there was one so I had to work at Grand Luxe cafe at the Cheesecake Factory and Beverly Center on New Year's Day and I didn't know why I did obviously did not want to but it's a very like it's like high-end casual it's very weird so you have to press your shirt so I woke up like I crashed in my buddy's house I woke up at like nine in the morning to go do the breakfast shift
Starting point is 00:56:45 and I was fucking hungover and my buddies were like didn't have to work so they're just like ripping bongs and like watching football and I pressed a shirt I shaved had to be shaved I never shaved yeah I was like cleanly shaved I pressed the shirt like I brought start spray like I was planning on going to work right yeah and then they're like oh hit a bowl and I like kind of I smoked a little bit of weed and I was like and they were just like have fun at work and I stepped outside and it rained the night before and I came up with this plan which is if I just jump into mud like I'm fully prepared if I fall into mud
Starting point is 00:57:17 and show up to work covered in mud they're gonna send me home I can't if I say I'm sick they're gonna be like you're hungover coming to work or you're fired why if I show up like I'm here my shirt is pressed I'm covered in fucking mud what do you want to do they're gonna have to be like oh my god we're so sorry go home yeah so I went outside the house and just dove into mud you did it yeah yeah it was very funny yeah yeah yeah yeah it was like this is perfect your friends oh they were loving it yeah yeah yeah we were like talking about the right angle to go in and then I'm just like driving to work covered in mud like
Starting point is 00:57:54 just laughing like I'm the smartest guy in the world and I show up in my the manager goes um holy fuck what happened to you what's going on you're covered in mud I said yeah I was parking over there and I was running because I was running a little late and I was running I tripped on this little fence and I fell into mud and he goes there's no yards around here oh shit it's not there's no like where did you fall into mud it's like the middle of last thing there's no yeah it's all concrete oh and I just kind of freeze and I don't know what to say and he goes I'm kidding man that sucks and he passed me on the
Starting point is 00:58:30 back and we'll just give you a bus or uniform you can work in that really that was high like that it didn't work it didn't work at all oh no I you know to me that doesn't even sound like it would fucking work it sounds like it would totally work how can you say you can't imagine if you were her if you were her limped in right but dirty clothing it's like oh we'll find something for you and also we're in a mall right go to H&M we're in a mall there's a thousand clothing time yeah through you fucking asshole I know I okay well I was I was 38 at the time here's another here's another thing I wanted to say is is that there is
Starting point is 00:59:12 nothing more satisfying than working at a restaurant doing a slam shift right and then afterwards no matter how much you're making tip-wise when you leave like I used to smoke cigarettes and after my shift I used to go to the Cove after a long fucked up day and just sit there and smoke a cigarette and just thank God it's over you know so I worked my ass off yeah to make this hundred dollars right in my pocket but that was like $100 right huge huge and how satisfying I don't feel like that in show biz I know right this is what I'm talking about this one time I really like romanticized struggle and like you have something in your hand
Starting point is 00:59:53 at the end of the day yeah and you go to the bar and you're like hey here's your tip-out 30 bucks have a good one like you feel like you're a kingpin yeah it's so amazing everybody hates their job nobody wants to be there and like we all shit on the customers and like you know you you're doing a good the best job you can nobody's like spitting in food every ass thinks like you spit in food that never fucking ever have never happened I did that's not sure he like ground cockroaches and put him in some coffee no no I we had a cockroaches and the expresso dryer and so yeah so the beans and the cockroaches would like you know and then
Starting point is 01:00:29 you put the hot steam into the talking about a snow piercer yeah that was yeah that's again I'm sorry it's a perfect protein yeah but there is you know and here's another reason why butter coffee yeah well why it felt good is because you know I'm not lazy you know when you do it no when I when I gave you a base probably when I used to wear tables and I used to be slammed and I would sit there on the cove and smoke a cigarette in my head is like you you're you you manned up you showed up you worked hard you clocked in clocked out and you made this money that you earned and there is a sense that's all I'm saying yeah you
Starting point is 01:01:12 got the shit yeah now I'm so lazy you know and you're on set playing video games yeah yeah I just you know I like be on a game like the game I'm playing and it'll a special offer you get three knives and like you know a thing for $50 like oh yeah fuck it yeah I just buy it you know man Pam has to pull you aside to be like come on man right do you want to be waiting tables yeah I know but you know what there is a you and I're similar that way I do miss it a little bit I do miss I like the camaraderie that comes with it I like them wrong the shit I gotta cover your shift cuz you're gonna cover my shift
Starting point is 01:01:49 like I like that community I like a community yeah but what is it like now it's none of that right now you show up put makeup on your face I'm not that I'm no Bobby Lee I'm not that big like I still have to like work and like it you know and fuck me tell you I mean there certainly are times when you okay when you're standing up now okay it's dangerous you're right you're right in many ways I've been I've been blessed okay but I've had some hardships myself I know we both have okay so I just want I don't know why just stood there stood up should I say that but you know I've had some hardship and you know I'm not gonna
Starting point is 01:02:29 quit I know but none of this is this room is gonna quit well you're not gonna quit because you used to serve tables and you'd be in the shit and you had three tables that just got sat they sat you three tables on tall like bar tops and you're like why the fuck would you say me I just came off a break and you still made it work this is what we do yeah we make it work I even I've been thinking about just just I just had this thought that you and I one day we should collect some of our money from this podcast and open up a restaurant and be slammed and be slammed and just feel like see if we could make it happen I
Starting point is 01:02:59 I've always wanted to open a restaurant yeah I like a Filipino breakfast restaurant I feel like that's what's missing so I give in the Bay Area you always have like the top sea log and all of that but you don't have it here yeah let's not let's get brought I always had this dream of doing that and so I'm actually not kidding I'm down but just don't throw all the work on me I feel like I did yeah but I want to make he's the face I'm the face of it I'm not gonna be like Treyhoes tacos so aggressive donuts you know I mean how many businesses that fucking guy have Danny Treyo I've never been no but I
Starting point is 01:03:37 see his time I've never been to any of everywhere are they good people go there I've had the tacos all right yeah but I love breakfast burritos as you know Bobby's burritos and there was a place that I go sometimes you know I'll get wrapped early at Warner Brothers Toluca Lake restaurant yeah and and I'll drive deep into Burbank and there's a place called the country cottage and it's not a cottage and there's nothing country about it it's a fucking hole in the wall oh nice it's a little hole in the wall it's this Asian man with tattoos on his fingers right and then 12 Mexican dudes that are like mid-20s and they're
Starting point is 01:04:26 just making breakfast burritos seems like too many cooks right no but they all have you can tell that they're yeah I'm being real they're all have this like a magical like that's a routine where they're just making because everyone wants to eat there right I'm telling you right now I'm my mouth is watering right right now I want to go tomorrow morning have you ever had tacos via corona yes I keep telling him and he will not go because they close at 2 p.m. which is yeah they shut down when they run out of water you she's been telling about the fucking place for it since I met him the first day that's what you're
Starting point is 01:05:01 gonna say that's a fucking best wait wait the may make sure I could have the company that story just died yeah they're open but there's neither morning but let me ask you about tacos cake ok what I remember yep the a corona and out water yeah corona you're talking do you have breakfast burritos are yeah that's all they do that's all they do and it's great yes they're like $3 damn they're that good what's in it potatoes fried beans egg and then after that it's up to you nopales bacon steak what is it a cactus cactus I don't do it cactus it's so good nopales is really good it's very good yeah but you know she's been
Starting point is 01:05:43 saying that place for years I've never gone I want to go there date I want to go tomorrow we have to be close tomorrow you woke up today at 5 p.m. but here's the thing here's the thing though he's so plain destiny no wait didn't you play destiny we used to play dude and I remember Jade and I used to just cry together we play twice we play twice he didn't he didn't have a good game more than you did yeah I didn't have any gear you know gear right and we go right I jump on my little like speeder and I did not a play and you're just like yeah we're going to there the lord of the internal moon base it's like fuck man
Starting point is 01:06:20 yeah yeah you gotta say I know you'll be fine and then you guys would just kill everybody I would die multiple times but that was fun though those little moments of playing they're very fine yeah but um yeah um you don't play anymore now red dead or nothing I'm in the smash again I'm in a smash bro yeah this is why I got excited when I saw this you don't have smash brothers do you I don't have it but I'm gonna tell you something about this device they're called what are they called switches and I've been playing stardew valley I didn't know what that is it's a simulation gas she hates it right
Starting point is 01:06:54 stardew valley yeah I actually think it's cute it's a farming game and you have a farm oh and it really like farmville it's not it looks a little bit like um animal crossing a little bit but um it's not just a farming game alright there's mines to be explored you can go below this there's creatures to fight you have a wife your children you have a wife right next to you right now my beautiful girlfriend yeah yeah do you take care of her you know how many times oh you fucking do you know how well he feels care he's gonna stand out how well he takes care of penny and Haley his wives on there how do they do you know
Starting point is 01:07:37 their names oh god I gotta go up to Haley because she's all and I'm like fucking Haley I swear yeah well I married the blonde one Haley but she's her she's the most ungrateful wife I've ever fucking she's a librarian right yeah penny helps the kid she she babysits kids in the library sure and she's got but but yeah we know we know penny yeah yeah yeah yeah but Haley you know what she does what her favorite item everyone has a favorite item right yeah her favorite item is pink cake right pink cake pink cake oh pink pink cake with pink no it's a cake but that's pink a pink cake are we talking about the same
Starting point is 01:08:15 thing right now no not pussy right so what Haley does to find her every day is she just sits there by a tree right she doesn't do anything and so I you know I married her and she's this is the first time you've lit up this whole podcast she says it's so excited she says things in it that like she says things in it that's like ridiculous she goes yeah my sister tried to feed me parsnip soup and you know I don't like health food hey like did she like breakfast burritos you should take us via Corona yeah yeah do you ever go to Dune next to there too I like Dune there's a lot down fuck you man there's a right it's
Starting point is 01:09:01 okay pretty good what do you get when I ate meat I get there the rap that you always get yeah yeah yeah right the same one the falafel they're bread they're whatever that like they're their pita whatever that is is so good so Nikki what I want to say to you earlier forgot to say this is that I feel like that's what yeah the lamb me I feel like you're gonna grow I think you're gonna produce shows and I'm so let you know I'd like to work with you that's not gonna happen man anyway thanks for having me okay yeah man well I emailed you I don't know if you know it's your email yeah yeah yeah Billy at Billy dot com she's
Starting point is 01:09:49 gonna let you know that Ferguson was bus Craig Ferguson was bit tonight but we have tomorrow we bumped are you bumped him yeah that's great okay I'm glad he's still doing comedy now at the end of our podcast we do a thing called unhelpful advice it's a email people ask questions and we give them advice it doesn't have to be helpful it can be whatever you want I'm yeah so go ahead Gilbert unhelpful advice with Nick Rutherford second city this is from always promoting that's cool holy shit Chicago second yeah this is from a female listener we'll call her HB I have a co-worker who I became extremely close
Starting point is 01:10:27 friends with throughout that time I made myself emotionally available for her in times of hardship in her life and really made an effort to be as good of a friend as her as I could when a traumatic event came up in my life she was nowhere to be found I literally know that I felt unwanted as a friend and she expressed that she didn't have the emotional capacity to be there for me in the same way it just felt unfair and she completely withdrew from the friendship after that and basically replaced our friendship with another co-worker it's hard because I constantly have to see right work and we don't say anything to
Starting point is 01:10:57 each other anymore as the slut can as the slept king and the dawn what should I do love you guys HB that seems like a TLDR for me what's a TLDR yeah too long didn't read so she had a friendship that was burgeoning then it didn't didn't work out friend was not there it wasn't there was no reciprocity yeah there was betrayal that's what I saw and at the end of every betrayal there needs to be victory so yes so how does one become victorious well you have to win I don't know what the dynamics of your work is I don't know where she works but at the end of the day you have to come up and you have to show this woman that you know
Starting point is 01:11:39 that it's her loss okay yeah I agree with you right I agree with you moving on in the sense of moving on that's not what I'm saying revenge revenge he wants John why yeah my my girlfriend is very much smarter than me in a lot of ways and one of the things she's like I like I don't know about you I imagine we're very similar and so when somebody like you're trying to be friends with somebody and they don't you're making a lot of weird no I'm not trying to listen to what you're I try to listen to what you're saying when somebody like for me when somebody I'm like trying to become friends it's really hard to talk when
Starting point is 01:12:17 somebody has any pushback of being my friend cuz I'm like I have no I've everything to offer and nothing like I'm just one friend yeah and if there's any pushback I it makes me want to be their friend more yeah yeah and my girlfriend has said like the best thing you can do is wildly ignore them and then they will come around the whatever they're whatever so HB your friend or your ex friend is dealing with their own insecurities has nothing to do with you and it makes you want to to win you want a victory so you're gonna keep on pushing after that friendship you're gonna keep on chasing that friendship best
Starting point is 01:12:52 thing you can do move on entirely fucking cold her like cold case her immediately move on that's the way and she'll come around that was the right one yeah yeah that's exactly what it is dude yeah you know yeah you have to it's crazy and I'm not that I'm not that type Johnny Sanchez was my guy your best friend Johnny Sanchez back in the 90s there was a comic and he was the dang cook of the comic store he was on fire did the dang cook of the guy he really wasn't like the dang cook of like the lab factory yeah yeah that's funny and he was on fire and everyone used to all the young guys dormer used to follow him around you
Starting point is 01:13:31 know want to be his friend I would call him he would never call me back I prayed to God right to that he would be my best friend I remember going on my hands and knees please God I love this guy this guy's the coolest and then I just one day just said fuck this fuck I mean he's a nice guy he's very funny guy and then I just went the opposite direction I just started doing my own thing and then you know years later I helped him get on mad TV and this and that but at the end of the day you know I don't chase I don't even think about him I see Johnny and I hug him and I love him but I just it's like you know I just I completely moved
Starting point is 01:14:10 on from it and again and now we're friends I love him but I don't have that anymore with that it just you got to do that yeah because I think it's really unattractive when someone appears needy yeah of your time you know of your affection or whatever it's just yeah it seems exhausting so yeah I just stand and I need to say something announcement this is just came to it just occurred to me it just occurred to me and I want to say this into them the camera are you standing I don't know why that's maybe so I know I saw your face maybe so fucking angry just now I thought you were to jump the fuck yeah I
Starting point is 01:14:51 didn't thought that's growth on my part right yeah victor is our head or is I'm going to pretend that didn't happen okay fucking anyway last night I was at the comedy store and this boy came up to me early white got 20s white guy he goes tiger belly I'm here for you and I go okay and he goes I love you okay he goes okay he goes let's be together hang out good I don't know you you don't know you know me I don't know you goes I'm Ariana Grande that's what he said what he said it was Ariana Grande right and I go Nick and I was there with Ali Wong and a bunch of people and I
Starting point is 01:15:39 just kind of walked away from him and he started following me around the comedy store and then he came to me no but for real that I came here from Minnesota and I know I'm here for you I came here for you oh man right and so I go I could get the fuck and I knew that Fahim Anwar was gonna go we're gonna have dinner afterwards and I didn't want to hang out in the club because he was there so I was in my car deep into the parking lot and just sitting I was playing my in my stardew Valley and then I hear Haley Haley he's fucking at my car now in the looking me it's raining and he's looking at me through the
Starting point is 01:16:11 fucking oh my god let's hang out what right and I go I don't know you what and he goes where's Joe Rogan and I go he's gonna be here sometime this week he goes okay and he just walks away why yeah so now I'm telling people you listen listen guys all right watch out for Ariana no it's not only that it's just that you know I know that I'm the slept king I know I'm the your leader and I know that I love you and you love me and when there's a connection that will the can never be the bond it can never be broken but don't be crazy too right don't kill me you don't want to punch your fucking holes in my body I might
Starting point is 01:16:57 bleed out so if you're crazy relax we're good okay but the comedy shows not a place where you can come in at cray-cray is it still a word yeah the kids are using it's hot yeah I can't imagine crazy people coming to the comic store and just hanging out right yeah I know but it really was the first time where I went oh my god this guy might kill me you fucking made it man you got it is that what it is I think so I mean yeah I think it's a little bit of that because I know about female comics that changed their name on the lineup because they can't put their name on the lineup because they have stalkers women have it
Starting point is 01:17:36 much worse I can't only imagine now I'm the extra coup when she was in San Francisco and I saw three of her stalkers there at the shell oh god she's like I don't know what to do they're just they make cakes for me and all this stuff and clothing pink cakes yeah yeah don't eat those cakes so what's your handles Nick Nicholas Rutherford on Instagram I think that's really in Twitter is too much now I love the name Nicholas in the Philippines you would they would call you cool us cool us cool us that's cool so cool us rather for it on Instagram yeah I'm changing it give him a round of applause guys he was
Starting point is 01:18:10 fucking wonderful watch the unicorn it's on iTunes you know we're gonna take a photo you don't leave yet okay okay but um take your rich wallet and thank you so much for coming here I thought you were amazing we had fun hopefully that you weren't angry about anything that I said no but this is what it is we got through it and it was wonderful there's if you think about all the things we've explored we explored all kinds of things about ourselves and our friendships and we got very personal and and yet we got surface and we did all kinds of stuff you know and don't mind the fuck whites they're good these are good guys
Starting point is 01:18:48 and that Netflix documentary we saw what's it called abducted in plain sight abducted on plain sight you have to see it because I'm gonna say something right now very sad it's not just sad it's just that every once in a while the last thing I'm gonna say about it is sometimes white people they make the wrong choices looking at you George and especially the ultra-religious ultra religious white people they think they're oh you know we are foundation is Jesus yeah we're stable yeah no you're not you're fucking too safe crazy crazy fucking shit that blind faith makes you think that pedophiles does don't
Starting point is 01:19:26 exist yeah that is it's not a possibility because God protects us and you know that the entire LDS community and then what did I say about when we were watching that documentary would I say about George oh yeah he's what he said about you George he said that good guy why is it that every time I see George's face I just deep down think he's a serial killer no actually take that back not a serial killer a pedophile a pedophile I'm gonna just something about you friend you have all right and I don't know what it is a pedo vibe but hopefully hope yeah price hopefully hopefully we'll peel the onion all right
Starting point is 01:20:13 and we will find just a nice guy right but I'm gonna say this to you right now George all right I have my eye on you and if we call I like and I ever have children you're gonna keep I want to keep them away from you all right so anyway give Nick brother for another round of applause guys and all big up to our real papayas and super sleepers for the premium and the premium episode subscribers to our patreon if you want to hear more about the Korean knives then go to patreon.com slash tiger valley follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at that tiger belly emails any unhelpful
Starting point is 01:20:44 advice questions to the tiger belly gmail.com have a good night hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad-free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondri plus in Apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondri.com slash survey

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