TigerBelly - Episode 190: Tom Rhodes Sees Curvature
Episode Date: April 17, 2019Bobby can’t stop asking the wrong questions. Tom is a prophety kinda guy. Khalyla gets to the crunchy part. We talk eating chicken around the world, comedy fighter pilots, pugilistic a...udiences, and a wedding. Check out our bonus content:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today
Hey
You
If you cried, I don't want I'm the queen that's just saying I was a king. That's what I was Daniel Cormier cries and he's he's a god
Well, let's start. I don't know what you're doing
I don't even know what you're doing right now five four three two one
Oh my god
Sorry about my attitude guys. Um, I had a nap and when I have a nap make it grumpy and I came in here
And I threw some fucking heat down
You know what it is that you know last week welcome to Tiger Belly. I read on Twitter
You know about you know, there was somebody like on Twitter said
This is the less a list of the best podcast or whatever whatever and like I guess
Bill Burris wasn't on the list some some guy commented, you know, I mean like how the fuck is but
Bill Bernard on this list and Bobby Lee's podcast is he's he goes. He's
He he does only Asian jokes and then he also tries to be alpha male with all the people that work there
That's what he said
It goes to show he absolutely does not listen to this podcast. No, he I guess you know what I know what he's saying
He's saying like, I'm you know, I you know how I'm yelling people roast roasting roast and he
I understand that but the guy I wanted the guy if the guy is listening right now
I want to tell him that I didn't make the list and if there was a list
I wouldn't put my name above anyone's and I don't give a shit. You're right
I I think that Bill Burris should be in every list. I think he should be in the number one list, right?
But I just want to say this to the guy is is that you know, you could have say whatever you want to fucking say
But everyone on that list
Everyone on that list. They're all my friends and they think that I'm legit
You go to any of those guys Tom Seguro Joe Rogan are in there. What do you think of Bobby Lee?
Right, and they were not gonna go. Oh, yeah, he shouldn't be on any list, right? So it's like when I read that it hurt
My feelings for a second
Mm-hmm, but then I had to think it through and go fuck yourself, bro
Because that's ridiculous
Where were we on the list? Oh
I don't I don't I don't know what do what are you trying to do? I want to know where we we made a list
I'm happy. No, it wasn't a list. It was just like he was just
He said these are my favorite. Yeah, these are my favorites
And he's just like and then they try to and then there are guys that think that I'm not fine. It's fine anything
I should be on the fucking list. That's fine
But then it's like then they throw their little opinions in there. That's fine. It's America, right?
But at the end of the day, it's like, you know, you try to hurt me, bro. I don't I don't did nothing to you
Right, and then all of a sudden I have to just say something. Don't worry my pappy. Yeah, I mean, that's right
You know, I just you know, I'll get you. I'll get him babe
It's been a really weird week exciting week, you know, um, you know
There's some good of the Game of Thrones came out that was when I got get into it because there's you know, they're spoilers
It's too soon too soon, but um, we should talk about I don't want to talk about um, what we should talk about George's feelings
About what your feelings about what cuz Jessica's just got married. Yeah, I do want to get into that
I said, yeah, I did want to get into that. I mean, that's open there. Yeah, let's open there
Oh, that's what we're gonna open with. Yeah, I just I genuinely want to know. Yeah, I know you guys are friends
Mm-hmm, and I know she had thought about inviting Bryce. Oh
Yeah
My feelings went from here to here now that's that's my job wake it's worse than that it's worse than that
So there's basically this is what happens Jessica
Kala's friend. He's she's my friend too. I guess
had her
wedding should have stayed over there with the campers instead of on a mic and
Um, you know, I was sitting there in the wedding and turn around and see Gilbert there
You know when he's on the the white groom side, which was fucking yeah, that was so weird
Why were you on the I was running a little late and I realized when I sat down like I'm the only Asian person on this side
Yeah, but you know, that's when you stand up and you move they were about to start walking and I was like
Oh, I think I also saw you from the other side
But then I know that I noticed that there were empty seats and then you were like tongue people not to sit there
so I didn't want to go yeah, because um, that's a whole other issue because you
Know I got yelled at because they thought I was gonna be late to the wedding
Here we go again
Let me just open with my point of view right
I'm looking around and it's some a couple goes. Can we sit there? And I go no, no, no
I'm saving this for Kalilah and um, you know her sister. Wait, you were there before? Yeah
I'll tell you why in a bit. No, we don't have to get into it. The page. I don't want to get I want to just listen to the
Patriot, I'm gonna I'm gonna have a
Listen to the Patriot. Yeah, please listen to the page
Yeah, yeah, and I was just sitting there. I'm like, where's my boy? Why are you continuing then?
You don't need to set George up with this information. He doesn't need to know this. I need to tell a story from beginning then
I'm sorry. That's how I do it
I apologize with me. Okay. There is no end. There is no end
So here's the thing
I'm turning around I go wow, you know the little girl comes and she's doing the little bubbles flowers and the music is starting and you know
You know, Jessica's getting married once in her life, right?
Once in her life, you know, you would think that her best friends would be there. That's all. So anyway, um
I turn around and I think to myself, well, it's good client, but no, but you know, but where's George and in my head
I'm like George's has to be invited and it turns out
That he wasn't so basically this is what happened
George a couple of years ago
Had feelings for Jessica
Deep one deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep feelings stove top feelings
And he he he mulled it over his head. He's like I am gonna take a risk
And I'm gonna be a male
And I'm gonna get this alpha move. I'm gonna get this woman and
He lunges in for a kiss or whatever he does and she fucking just goes in your face nerd and
closes shop
Right in his fucking face
And you got all hurt and shit. He's like, oh, no, you know, and he was hurt for a very long time
But that as all wounds heal through time, right?
And then the wedding happened and the wound was cut back open
Cut back open like you're not even invited to the fucking wedding bitch
Right, you don't get my pulse and you don't get to go to the wedding and then she opened it up
And it's like fucking a thousand people shit in that wound. Geez. Just took a dump right into that wound
You're septic now
But I missed you man. You should deserve to go and
I might have been and you could have gone. I might have been the one who put the brakes on it
There were seats available. So I'm like you could have gone. That's all I'm saying
Bobby let me down. How did I let you down? And he was supposed to be my right
We're not doing that. We're not doing that anymore. All right
I had to say Bobby let me down. He was supposed to be
My ride to the wedding and he never got there and he never picked me up. He never picked me up
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she had a car
I didn't have a car there
You're Quinda on all your sister your mom everyone you're with them, right? Yeah, but we were all smoked
We've all the real fans have heard this already. Let's
All the friends of her
Sorry, I cut this part out
Just close part, okay now
Now George, I might have been the one to put the brakes on the invitation
Only because I didn't want to feel any like a
Weirdness on a really small wedding and I didn't want to see you cry. Wait, so it was weirdness for you not Jessica
No, not for her. She doesn't feel weird about anything. So this was just you. She loves these guys
I was just like, no, don't invite George Bryce. Maybe so this is all and
She's like, yeah, no, I mean, I'm I'm inviting everybody. I was like, no
George can stay that's why I hate me for it. No, that's fine
Why would you know if you would have gone to the wedding? Would you have been like bummed sitting there?
No, I would have been cool. He's already over it. He already was happy about all the news
Because for me, it's still I still feel it. Yeah, we yeah, we would have been I mean for me
It would have added more humor
Enjoying my heart great. I would have laughed so fucking hard at him like while she's saying I do I would take my hand out
And just fucking give George the finger while that's happening. You say I have an objection and just flick up
Yeah
But it was a pretty I love, you know, I've only been to three weddings. I think that was for third fourth wedding
I've only planned this in like four weeks for weeks. Yeah, it was so cute and pretty and fun. Yeah, it looked great
Yeah, ours when we have one babe, it's gonna be legit. Yeah, well listen to the page you have to hear that part
Also, I want to talk about
Before Tom Rhodes gets here. That's where our guest is and I love him
Um, did you see the Star Wars trailer? I did. Did you see it? I haven't. How do you feel about it? I?
Was excited. Ah, I was excited. Are you one to think that the last Jedi was one of the worst movies ever made?
Uh, I did not like it. I don't think it was one of the worst
It do admit this though. It's the worst Star Wars movie ever made. Nope episode
Oh my god, you have to be on the first three with Jar Jar Binks. I'd rather do a Jar Jar Bunk Binks one-man show
Right underwater with all his fucking I think you're you're a little bit you get swayed a lot by by
Public opinion because when you walked out of there, we watched it together. You're like, oh, that was pretty good
I liked it. Oh, yeah, and then you watch all of the reviewers
You know and when you watch all the reviewers, then you started to really get on their bandwagon
It's the truth, I'm sorry. I have to tell the world how you are. What'd you think about this one?
Oh, I just want to say this okay that maybe you are right. Maybe that there was I okay
I remember watching the last Jedi and walking out and you know what it is. It's like this. It's it's
it's so hyped and
Because you the music you're so familiar with the sound of the lightsaber you're so familiar with, you know
The whole vibe of it. Yeah, it there's there's sprinkles of nostalgia
Just by playing the music and having certain characters in there like Luke Skywalker, right?
So you subconsciously or whatever you just convince yourself that this is a good movie
It's one of those movies where you have to sit down and close your eyes and think about and then you realize
Oh, nothing makes make sense and also I didn't think that the
Princess Leah in the space thing frozen the superman thing was a very poppy thing was that I didn't think that that was great
I thought that was what the fuck is this is weird and then we then go to the casino thing with Benutio del Toro
It's like oh it nothing happened
Right and then the switcheroo with the was the lady with the purple hair. You have any the feminists, you know
Oh, yeah, Jurassic Park. I thought last Jedi was one of the worst our worst movie, but I have to give
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy some props by
getting
Ryan Johnson out of there and and
Telling JJ Abrams you have to direct this finish it off. You have to do it because you still feel now
You know, I'm like, okay
We're kind of in good hands. Maybe you know and they're gonna do everything they can to make it up to the fans
That's all George Lucas is supervising on some of it
That's not good news
That was not good news what you just said
Yeah, I don't know man. Yeah, you know, um, I
Just I would really it's that that
Franchise to me I
Think is kind of dead in the because of the fact that
Especially as an adult you want somebody
To make it that's a little bit more edgy and dark
Right you want for me, you know because Empire Strikes Back was a dark movie
He gets his hand chopped off. He finds out the most evil person in the universe. This is dad
Mm-hmm, right? He fall remember that whole scene where he's in the cloud cities upside down with his hand off and
That just dooms dooms it that his best friend is frozen into a block of ice or whatever that thing was and shipped the job of the hut
That that move pretty fucked up now
And I was a kid watching it so scared and so sad and devastated by it
But it also made me walk out of the theater going that was fucking cool and I couldn't handle it as a kid
And now this foofy bullshit that they're doing is Disney probably our children are far more stronger than you think
Look at the children like on Instagram. They're with a hoochie-hoochie and all that
You know big kids they go to you know, I mean
That's what I'm saying. I've just heard about it
I heard about the coochie-coochie and the kids
You know, I
Love that word Hoochie. Oh, so the house is coming up. So what is here?
Um, he'll be here right at nine. That's what he said. Yeah
Okay, um
Let's stop to stop it and then you know, I think that's pretty good
I've got a great way to solve the the Star Wars franchise. What well, you know how the worst first one had like got structure from
Akira Kurosawa with the Hidden Fortress telling it from the perspective of the androids important important characters
Yeah, just rip off every Kurosawa plot, you know get Han Solo in a Yojimbo type of plot get a Rashman plot
Every plot has been the same for a long time. So why not just get some some good plots in there
That is I mean the okay, I know the Yojimbo plot though
It's been done so many so many times in westerns. Yeah, that you know, you can't do you can't incorporate
But you can't incorporate I would like to see a seven samurai maybe one
where it's like
Getting a ragtag group of people to fight. Yeah, you know, I mean the new empire maybe I have a question for you
Yeah, are you the person who did this to my t-shirt? I have it. I don't know who did this
I'm gonna go grab Tom guys. There's a sleeve and then this one is no
Why would I do that? Who did this? I didn't do that. Why would I do that?
Why would I do this? It's my feet because that's what work how people do they do the yoga
Just half my body. Yeah, I don't know you guys do stretches on your right side
And what you just want to show off this mark, right?
Five four three two one
God do it again because I got to get my energy up dude five four three. I don't know one. It's not
Hey guys
Welcome to another episode of the tiger belly and we have a very special guest today because um
You know that you know, you know in comedy
There's just certain people that you you need to know and some people that you don't need to know
There are like there are some people they absolutely don't need to know like you go to a certain towns and some old man
Go, yeah, my name is skip Iverson skip. Yeah, and I go. What do you do on the house emcee here at the chuckle fuck?
Yeah, right be an analyst right and I've been doing a comedy since the 70s, right?
And you're like get the fuck out of here skip chuckle fuck. Mm-hmm. No, I mean, I love you though skip a big fan
But there are some people that um, you know, I've been aware of for a very long time and um, I used to live in
San Diego I grew up there and there used to be and I'm gonna get I'm not gonna get the story wrong
Okay, cuz I know you can't eat correcting me whenever I do this. Okay, you keep correcting me when I do this
And I'm not gonna get I'm gonna get a right
But in San Diego, um, there used to be a improv comedy club there and this guy used to headline there
But I was younger, you know, I used to skateboard past it
I don't know what I don't remember what year because every time I say the year he corrects me on stage
You also don't know how to skateboard
Five four
Am I not right though, I think you're right your gut instinct on that was correct
But you know what I'm gonna let that fly. I'm gonna let my girlfriend, right?
Jaffee in the cup with a dagger a couple of times over and over again
Okay, and I'm gonna let it go
Episode about how you're a poser and how you carried a skateboard around, but you really don't know how to skate
There's another job that was another deck. I was just eating fear feedback. Yeah, that was the weirdest. I heard it, too
I started talking and that hurt. I heard my own voice
And I was going I've I've I've crossed the threshold into insanity
Because I heard by that guy buy it like that. I'm sorry my bad
but
I've been a huge fan of yours and I also I was always kind of intimidated by you before I even saw you
Right like when I first met you at the comedy store. Is that where I first met you?
Yeah, well, I I'm not sure but you you know, you've always
You've always said really nice things to me, you know, and that you like what looked back up
Look up looked up to me back in the day. I say that stuff. Yeah. Yeah, out loud. You do. Yeah
Yeah, I always say it always warms my heart
Like you said God, you know one day I want to be like Tom Rhodes and headline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah like that 100%
And then when I met you you said something you go come to my
Place in by La Brea where you used to live there
Now I live yeah by the growth by the by the yeah by the growth by the grove with your beautiful, um wife
She is divorcing me. She moved out New Year's Eve. I thought you knew that I spent January alone in my apartment crank
Thanks for bringing that up
Yeah, we're getting divorced yeah, the pay I should be finalized. Yeah, should be finalized any day
Oh my fuck, I didn't know well, that's this a good way to start the up
It's really great. I know, but how would I know that you didn't tell me? I
Well, you know when you run into someone at the comedy store, it's you know, you don't want to dump your
Problems on I know but my wife's the thing is is that you it would be
Something that because now I feel like a fool
No, you didn't know cuz I because when you when you guys were together
I thought to myself. Oh my god, what a beautiful fucking couple like she was making a dinner plate or whatever and she was like very
She's got a Europe. She's from England, correct. She's from Holland, right? Yeah
Her ethnicity is Indian. Yeah from Suriname very pretty very like just nice
Suriname Suriname is in England
Suriname is one of those little countries of Brazil. Yeah, it's you got
English Guyana, French Guyana Suriname, Venezuela. Yeah, there's Brazilians that don't even know where Suriname is and it borders their country
It's always my go-to my trick question
What is when we play geography games and Suriname is my go-to. No kidding. That's a good one people
my mother's from Argentina and
I've got cousins there. I've been there four times and my cousins in
Argentina when I first got with my wife, they said they
Should we really want you to be with a South American woman and I said I am with a South American woman
They didn't even know
Suriname was on their own company. Wow
It's a stumper. That's a good one. I don't want to get into why
It's actually a really good story man. It was her idea. I was against it and
She used to travel with me everywhere. She's a photographer and you know, I play all over the world
So we were a great couple, you know, I was looking for jokes. She was looking for photos
Her thing is street photography and then a year ago. She decided she didn't want to travel anymore
So she went with me to Hong Kong with me to Paris, but we kind of lost our connection and
During travel you lost your connection. Well me being away. Oh you being always because when she traveled with me
It was great. Yeah, and
we're still really great friends and
There was there's no hard feelings. She thought it would make us better artists and
There was no infidelity. No major catastrophe to deal with so
We just split what we had and I still talk to her all the time. We're great friends
She's still living in LA in Diego. Oh, she did. Yeah. Wow. So you're now it's only January and February was really rough for me
And then yeah March and April is a lot better. How long were you married seven years? We were together for 10
Oh, wow, that's amazing because then well, I mean not amazing. Did I come out there?
It's okay. No, that's what I meant, though
I sometimes use words that I don't even know what they mean really or I didn't that was the wrong word for that month
I said that was a bit. It's not amazing
Just it's weird like you know like all there are couples friends that would invite us over for like couples get together
Yeah, you know, I'm worried like that's not gonna happen now that I'm yeah single guy. I enjoyed being married
Yeah, and I thought I was gonna be married the rest of my life. So
It's it's a surprise and I'm starting to think that
She really did love me by divorcing me and giving me my life back. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm a weird
Did you find that your comedy is different now or yeah? I mean, um, I
Yeah, I
I mean, I'm gonna I can write the next chapter of my life. So I'm writing the next hour now
So wow, it's I gotta get rid of all the stuff I was doing about being married. Yeah, dark skin European woman
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do I have to leave you?
Do I need to make the sacrifice for you to be a better artist? No, no, I don't think so. Um, you know, I'm not going anywhere
Okay, no, I mean I I
think that um
When I wasn't getting when back in the when I was younger and I wasn't I
Had no money and I couldn't you know get a girlfriend or even friends for that matter and I was a stand-up
I felt like I was a lot more
Hungrier that's always the case, right? I wrote a lot more
I tried different more things because I had nothing to lose and then as time goes on you have you gather things and
and relationships and a few you build a foundation and then you
You fear losing things and then you don't take as many risks and then you I think that what I need to do is I need to put myself
In an uncomfortable situation so I can revive
That side of me, but I can do it without destroying my life. I think
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, you can because I've seen you know Bill Burr doesn't he's got a beautiful wife
Got a baby now, too, baby. Yeah, baby and the whole thing and then um, I don't believe in that
You know to be a great artist you have to destroy your life, you know, I think you can that's I believe that too
Yeah, but it's easier. So was that was that the main?
Reasoning behind the separation is you know, you'd be better
Artists or was I also think we started to bore the shit out of each other. Oh the last couple of years
I think we were pretty set in our routine. So yeah, I think that might have had something to do with it, right?
But you guys are still you're good and all great friends. I love her dearly. She loves me dearly and
You know, I wanted to succeed where she's still helping me with a few projects and
She still edits my podcast. Oh, we're tight. Okay. Good. Good. Yeah, because you're like it's weird
You know like when Gwyneth Paltrow and that Chris Martin guy broke up when I heard the kind the words conscious
Uncoupling I wanted to vomit. I thought I was like the most pretentious thing I had ever heard in my life
I would never use that terminology. What does that mean?
What would what do you what for term was that conscious uncoupling where it's sort of an amicable decision to part ways without
You know putting in a lot of thought and not too much a bad feeling involved
Conscious way to separate and do good for each other for whatever partnership you have to break up and still be friends
Yeah, and I got an old gay friend that I was talking to him about and he said, you know
That's 80% of gay relationships end like that where you still care about the person and you don't want to destroy them
And you don't want to hate them right, you know
Yeah, but I have maturity but I've
You know, here's the thing with me is that I've been in relationships as well
And we I've broken up obviously as well and then but for me and and there's no hard feelings
You know me, I don't have any hard feelings toward Christine or Sarah or any my previous girlfriends
Do I see them and talk to them? No, but there's a difference though because I am
To one of my two of my best friends in my life happened to be my exes when we went to the wedding this weekend
Two of them were at the wedding. We share a lot of friends and who Matt and who Gardo? Oh, that's right Gardo
Yeah, but that's because I think that's a testament to the friendship. We truly had during the relationship
My other exes I couldn't give two shits about I couldn't I wouldn't you know
Stop to think or worry about what they're doing with their lives
But I think that's a testament to the lack of friendship we had during that relationship
So if you can if I mean for it sounds like you guys were truly friends to each other
We genuinely loved each other and I think it's a rarity. Yeah, it's it's uh, I'm glad you uh, you know what I'm talking about
Also, my first love of my adult life
Natalie this French woman that I lived with in San Francisco for seven years. I'm still great friends with her
I've been my whole life. Where's Natalie now in San Francisco?
Yeah, she bought the
We had we lived on the top floor of this old Victorian mansion. Yeah, she bought it in like 1997 for
$350,000. I think it's worth six million now. Oh, wow
The happiest people in it. Yeah. Yeah, she's awesome and her and her mom like I got so much and even uh,
Ashna is my wife
I'm still very close with her mother and the family. I love all those people
I don't I don't ever want to cut them out of my life
Exactly like why should those have to disintegrate if you've built 10 years of this life together all of that doesn't have to disappear
Yeah, but you don't seem
And I'm gonna say something to you
And you might not like it. Oh great
But I it's a coming from love
I just realized that you don't you're the
You don't seem like a typical
comedian
at all
Like now that I think about it
I you are always so kind of honest
You know like you like you'll just walk up to me. Hey, you're just there's nothing weird about you
There's no ulterior motive. There's no like you don't try to shame like the other night
Betty and yeah, Steve burn. I was talking. I was with you know, it's the
Jeff for just for laughs. Yeah, the the guys at book it and they they came up to me and they went
um
Hey, congratulations
So we're so stoked that this could work out because I'm going to Montreal for the very first time this year
You've never done right. I find that hard to believe. Yeah, exactly. And then Steve burn walks up and goes
Yeah, but you're not gonna care because he hasn't written a joke since 2002
Oh, right. So he you know, and you see why would I know? I just say all comics slam you in that way
To like make just belittle you a little bit and you kind of go
That's a good one, man. I'm gonna give my revenge on you
Now it's a war, you know, but you that's all of them do that
Even like, you know, Billy Perez said little funny. I love Steve. I love my friend of mine
And I've uh, I always thought you know, I put him up there as
Uh, like one of the classiest people in comedy, right? But he did do that and then today I'm gonna show you
But I'm gonna show you something, right? So today he texted me, right? This is what he texted me, right? He goes
um, he goes
So last night he it was happened last night. So last night jfl
He kind of you know, I mean and then today he goes, yo, I have a favor to ask you
I have a documentary film about the amazing jonathan being released at atc
A money whatever was wondering if I could drop by your podcast to promote it
On the first or second week of june and it took me
Eight hours to finally go yes
Is that your
Yeah, because in those eight hours without me, it's him just sitting or I because I know
He's the type of goes I called you yesterday. You didn't call me back. He's one of those guys
So I waited eight hours
It's in glee
It feels good
And then finally not much just yes. No period nothing, right? But so
It's a weird way. It's a very good way
But the thing is is that I I have like little
things
You know, I mean like passive aggressive like I think comics are passive aggressive and they they they poke and prod
And they have their issues, but you are nothing like any of them
Uh, well, I mean maybe I just keep my issues well hidden
No, I don't think that I think that I think that you're just you know a special breed
Like even you know when he was coming on this podcast for months. I've been saying
I have to have him on the podcast. We gotta figure to fit him in
Right and people are going. Yeah, we'll get him in eventually. I got no because he because he's different
You know, he you know, I can't explain it. He's
Just you know a different kind of a profitee kind of a guy
A profitee. Yeah, because people at the store, you know, you know
Check out that profit. I know but that's I'm not saying I'm not saying that you know, you know to blow smoke in your ass
Oh, it's up your ass or in your ass
Yeah, I don't know what the term how does the term go up your ass blows
Yeah, so and here's another thing about you is that you you disappear a lot
Yeah, well, yeah, um, you know, it's a good way not to get on people's nerves is to
Just
The guys who are always around who are irritating
And I told you, I mean, I'll blow some smoke up your ass
I told you I did that at Israel tour in December and I took my 80 year old Jesus freak mother with me to Jerusalem
Wow, if I wasn't the favorite child before
So, uh, yeah, we went over a week early and uh, uh, and you know, we took her saw the sites and you know
Where Jesus was crucified and all that good happy stuff. Yeah
And uh, so then the tour started and we were and I shared a hotel room with my mother for two weeks
Wow, uh, yeah, which was pretty christlike. I have to say what is that like?
Uh, well, I mean it was I love my mom, you know
And it was kind of it was cute like I did when the tour started
She'd wait up and talk to me about it and everything but so we were watching television and televive
And that Sacha Baron Cohen movie the dictator was on. Yeah, and uh, you're in it. Yeah, you're hilarious
I watch it with my mother
We're like in the two beds, you know, she's on her bed
I'm in my bed and we're watching this and we're both laughing our asses off. Yeah, and I was like, uh, I go
That guy's a friend of mine. Oh, really? She said that I said that
Why would she say that?
Tom, look at my Korean friend. I see me
I meant to say she said really that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. No, it was awesome
Yeah, it's like really great memory. Oh, cool. That's a weird watching that watching you be funny with my mom and televives
That's a memory. It's cool that you're there with her and also
That slab I went there too. You're up there with Jesus getting crucified as well until
Well, thank you
But that place where they go where they he was crucified. How do they know that because I went there too
I've been in that spot too. How do you know that that's the spot where he was crucified? I you know, hey
Who knows did they know for sure? No, of course not. I don't know
Uh, but yeah, it's the church of the holy sepulcher
Well, that's what it's called. That's the church that they built around the spot and then there's the um
uh, like the
Well, it's it's like there's a couple spots in that church where it's like no way that they were that close to each other
Yeah, you know
We were in a room in Jerusalem and they're like and I still lit up a cigarette. I told the story before
Was steve burn, right? Yeah, I was through a burn. I lit up a cigarette because I don't know where the fuck were and the guy was like
can you do the
You know smoke outside of this building because this is where the last supper was
Right and I go asking it. I go, okay. Sorry man
Like but in my head, I'm like, how the fuck do they know that this is where spawn is but I guess they know
Maybe there's crumbs left over from the dinner. You smoked in that room. I was in that room. Really?
Yeah, I just smoke in that room. Yeah, I'm sure the apostles smoked
Right
That's a good point. Thank you
They'd had pipes you could handle with that. Yeah, yeah with goat weed or what are they smoke over back there incense
incense
Yeah, of course
This will incense all the time. What do you what do you think frankincense was it was a bag of weed?
Oh, so you're defending a fucking flat face here. Okay, good
You let him call you
Yeah, when you're flat face you're flat face. Yeah, it's the rules of the room. Oh, you got you got big face flat face
You have curvature. Yeah, I would tell you he is a different type of guy. I told you man. I told you any other comedians here. Yeah, look at that flat
I'm not I'm not buying that
Damn, we're not used to decent people
You're blowing my mind right now. He's a good dude. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you're a decent man. Jesus
Sorry to interrupt, but the slap don't ever interrupt me again. I'm sorry, but it better be good
The slap kingdom has to hear the presidential address
from you
Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm your president. I don't know what you're saying, but I'm going to say this. Okay
Is is that um
One of my favorite things to do now is to do the patreons
Because the patreons are done, um, in not
Professionally, but not in this room
We do it like in places like Michael Ila and I will do it in the bed
Or I'll go to a green room and a comedy club and do them
Um, but these are my favorite clips of some of the past previous
Patreons that I've done
Check it out. I have a lot of new year's resolutions and I'm being really dead serious about it
I am going to stop taking plastic liners and feeding them the dolphins and when I not
Apologize
To my girlfriend I have a really deep dark secret. What is it? It might ruin the the family
George's
Oh, that was the best. I just realized I've never told the story before on my whole life
Whoa, those were juicy clips to listen to more of tiger belly on patreon go to patreon.com
Slash tiger belly enjoy the rest of the show. I want to try to get to why you went to amsterdam and
Because you went away for a while like we didn't see you
For many years, right? You were living abroad
Yeah, well, so when the show finished, uh, we did we did one full season
So I had lived in new york city like a dog when I was 20 years old
And I always swore if I ever lived there if I ever had any money I would live in new york city with style
So when the mystery road show finished I had a truckload of money
Nice. So I looked at that money as my NBC artist grant
And I moved back to new york city. Yeah, I got a rock star apartment in the wall street area
And I just really focused on doing stand-up in in new york, which now was great because I
The comedy seller loves me and I was just there last week
Doing I try to go there at least one week a year to do
Spots to do spots. Yeah, and it's from living there 98 to 2000. Wow
And uh, and I focused on on on on stand-up in new york
I did some road stuff, but also I started taking systematic trips to london
Because I wanted to get him with london
One of my oldest best friends rich hall was living over there and was in and he helped me
Coached me how to get in you don't go to the best clubs first
You go to the peripheral rooms get your sea legs
Find out what references work what doesn't work and then on your second or third trip over then you go to the best clubs
So I got in with london and then I started playing
I was like doing mostly new york and london for a couple years
And then once I got in with london that was the key to the international circuits for me
And then I started playing all over europe and asia and australia
And uh, I I played in amsterdam and I I met a dutch woman
Not the woman that I married and uh, and I moved there
and uh
You know the relationship lasted for two years and like every most comedy relationships
The travel killed it and I was just about to move back to the united states when these people from this dutch television network
Saw me performing at a club in amsterdam called tumblr
And they were looking for an american host the late night talk show and I got the job
And I got to stay in this little country that I had fallen in love with
How long how long so that show lasted for two years. Yeah, and that was it. I mean, uh, I
You know, I tell you know, it's really amazing like uh, I was pussy to get it was incredible
I mean it was incredible. We would play wait wait
Now were you with this dutch woman during the show when you were doing no, she was single. Yes. Oh my I can imagine
What was going on? I had I had I had been freshly dumped
Yeah, and then I get to stay, you know, and it was really great too because I was a big thing of the show
Was I was a foreigner experiencing dutch culture. Yeah, so like every episode I would make a five minute film or I would
Yeah, one day I spent with a dutch farmer. He said look out for the electric fence in dutch, but I don't speak dutch
So I got electrocuted. Yeah
You know all these funny like I was given a
A tour of the gay nightlife scene of amsterdam by the by the guy who does the gay parade a former prostitute who
Helps the the the prostitutes with their health care and taxes and things
Gave me a tour of the red light district
And you know, they so they explained the laws to me
How things work, you know with the drugs with the government and everything of dutch culture was explained to me
Yeah, it was a really beautiful thing about the show
Wow
So that lasted for two years
And if that was not fortuitous enough
When that ended the same network actually the woman who ran the network
Um, monica galler beautiful woman and she's her son is the one who discovered me
And he was the producer and one of the main writers of the late night talk show and but she so he discovered me
She's really who put me on dutch television and then it was her
idea
To put me on this, um, be it. Let me be a presenter on, uh, a dutch travel show for a year
So I got to uh, I did a highlight on cpetersburg russia on peru
The champagne region of france the dutch caribbean
Uh, it was like the it was everything that she wants to do it was a dream. Everything. Yeah, she wants to do
Yeah, now you've been around asia a lot. I've been everywhere in asia. Where do you?
You
My friends in the philippines are starting to really, um
Try to produce shows and stand-up shows in the philippines in manila and not just on a smaller scale on a bigger scale
But it isn't quite catching on and they can't uh, well, you got the whole thing of the the the gay, um
Transsexuals a lot of philippine people think that that's stand-up comedy
And and those guys still kind of dominate it the one place that brings in
Foreign headliners is called heckle and jekyll
uh, wonderful guy who, um
He's got connections with holland
Um, or he had lived in holland, but he's from manila. Really a great guy, but that's the main
Do you feel like they're catching on, um, that stand-up comedy is uh, now they are I mean, but like like 10 years ago
I think the first time I went to manila was probably
20 years ago, and then I was just there last year because he's they've been begging bobby to go at least my friends
Yeah, because but I'll tell you why I just doesn't think he's he's a draw out there
And I because I go to the philippines and it's like everyone knows you there because of the movies you've done
You could probably play a really nice theater there. I don't that's not the point
What's the point is is that you know, it's the same reason why I don't want to play london ever
Okay, I'll tell you why because you know the comics that I know
That play there have a certain style of like I heard that first of all there's a lot of heckling
In luckily in English rooms. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're pugilistic. Yeah, whatever that word
I already get to use that word
You're lost. I'm lost a pugilaca. I don't know a pugilist is someone who likes to fight
Uh, don't ever fuck talk to like that again, okay?
By the way, but my point is is that so like I heard there's a lot of heckling, right?
And I don't know if my shit would translate and there's just like I bend, you know, I did it in
South Africa for two months. I think the first time I ever
Did stand up, you know, you know out of the country and it went over okay, but um, but you weren't how long ago was that?
I don't know 12 years or 10 years ago. Okay. Yeah
Yeah, you probably didn't have your star power then that you do now
No, I was on my height actually that was more because I had that was after mad tv
Okay, that was that was during when I was doing movies and stuff
I think you'd love it man. And uh, you know, you guys travel together and take these to play around europe and stuff
I you could you could do a nice tour there and I don't like if in
Club level they heckle a lot if it's they're going to see someone they adore in a theater. They're not going to heckle
It's different. Uh, I don't I don't think you should be so afraid of it. When you say theater
It's like in my head. It's like I can't fucking sell out the fucking in london is the castle comic strip the so
The theater where? Yeah, the soho theater in london is is pretty hot now. Um, how many seats is it 150?
You can handle that you can handle that and it's in the soho. It's the theater district. It's fantastic
It's a great room. You played it played it twice
It's great because I used to only do clubs in london and that last time last two times I was there
I did the so theater. Yeah
Maybe I think I think that uh, there's tiger bully fans. There's a lot a lot in England in England in England
And um, you know, listen guys, I'm open to then come see me
The bill Murray comedy club may 14th, and I think june 4th. We're doing solo. It's it's in um
Camden town, it's uh angel comedy club, and I think the room is called the bill Murray. Oh, well, what a great name
That's an england 14th and in london in london. Wow. Yeah, that's where you're going
I'm gonna uh, I'm gonna
I'm opening for reginald de hunter for all of may and june for his uk tour
He's american comic who uh, he started over there. I met him 20 years ago. I know he is
Brilliant guy brilliant guy. He's from georgia in the states and he's got this really great
Philosophical style. He's been a great friend of mine
And he's massive in england makes bbc specials
And he I did this comedy festival with him in ireland and um, that's the one that don my rara does all the time
No, that's kill kenny. Uh, the one I did was kill was uh,
Galway comedy festival all and then in july i'll be doing the doubling fest. There's great festivals in ireland
First of all, I just got invited to Montreal. Let's just ease up on that too. Okay
When you first get invited to Montreal, which is this is the first year. Yeah, let me just ease into that one
Okay, you know because I I feel like
I took different what I love about
My voyage and everyone's voyage is different and my voyage was always just
Different than most other peoples and that's what I like about you because you have a specific
Thing I've been avoiding fame
I mean, but you've had your path, right and my path has been always a little
Different and I you know, you know, I've never been like
The hot guy that everyone talks about like I couldn't I remember back in the day when you know, zack and nicks watson
Went to montreal back. We were all in the same age and demographic
And they were getting all deals and I was still a doorman and years went by and I still never went
Right and then they were doing the tonight show people are doing like late night shows
I did the tonight show, but I had to go the back route like I had a friend the two guys
Right and just try to win them over with just me being you mean funny, you know and um
And is there resentment
There's a little there's still a little bit of resentment that I have about you know having had had to do
Things in a different way
You know, like when I you know when people audition for mad tv
You know taren or like frank caliendo just got it
Right and then I auditioned 12 times in one year
Like I had to go back every week and go through these hurdles. We're just not sure can you come back? Yeah
I mean, that's what it was and you you're sitting there like for the eighth time going
You think you say to yourself. This is the last I can't do anymore. I haven't slept in eight weeks
And then you do it again and they go can you come back next week? But be better
And then you then you test and they and they call you and they say they're gonna give it to taren kill him
But just go in there and just do your best and they give it to both you and taren
Right, so, you know, I feel like everything that I've done, but yeah, I'm not feeling bad for myself because
you know
I'm here. I'm still in it. I have a beautiful girlfriend
And you got the tonight show and you got I did all the things you got the mad tv
Well, I did everything so even though you had to go a longer route and everything you still you you've had these achieved, but
But don't you want to have an easier path one time?
No, you want to get one cargo you got the movie lead. No, why?
Because sometimes when opportunities thrust upon you before you're ready. Yeah, you're not able to fully
Take advantage of that opportunity. Yeah, I think that it you need to grind it out
So when it when it meets you, you're prepared. Yeah, okay, and that's why I have
A great fucking girl from with a voice of wisdom, man, you know, so you got a lot of family in the philippines
We just came back from the philippines. I have a question for you
So my mother and father were divorced many years ago and my father remarried a woman from the philippines
And brought over her two kids from the philippines
DJ and may may
And they call me cool. You tom
That's so cool. So
Yeah, that's what I mean. We as older brother
So, um, I uh, I'm gonna ask you this point blank
Do you eat the chicken bones?
Let me tell you
That's a real question. That's how we got all that push. There we go. There we go. I have never seen a better
Chicken eater. Yeah
Then my mother or myself or my sister. In fact, I was flabbergasted the first time I ever saw him eat
A piece of chicken. I thought what are you doing? That's you ate you ate nothing and he's like, no, it's done
I'm like, give me your fucking bones. I'll show you how it's done
You have to eat the cartilage and then you break it because you suck the the marrow doesn't come out soft
But you do have to suck on the chicken bone for the flavor
Yeah, so I did it. So I did it when I was in manila. I told the story about my family and I adore them. They're beautiful people
Uh, but they eat the chicken bones and uh, you know, when uh, when when when when you and I eat chicken
We get to the the bone and and we say to ourselves the meal is over
People from the Philippines saying we have now arrived at the crunchy part
Yeah, also
We have names and you eat the shrimp heads too, right? Well here, I'll give you the names
I talked to people in the Philippines about when they get like I brought up the bones thing and they go
That's the tastiest part. Yeah, you got to eat the all the entire animal
In fact, we have names like when you go on the side of the road and you see like little we call them barbeque
Han where they barbeque like the meats on the side and they have names for different
Chicken parts. So if you order adidas
That's chicken feet. If you order walk or shoes
If you order the walk man, that's more of like the chicken's head
So, you know, we we'd like to utilize the whole animal. I love it
So, oh, by the way, I brought you my new album. It's um
Called around the world and there's the manila track is on there. That's the digital download
So, uh, my new album is called around the world. Wait, wait, wait. So, okay
Is that why you're here to promote this?
I just I know we're gonna say this. He's not very tech savvy. He doesn't know how it works. We're gonna get to that point
Okay, yeah, you have to go right now or something. No, no, no. I wasn't even talking about manila. All right. So Tom Rhodes, right?
Do you give me a business card? Very sorry. No, it's not Tom Rhodes around the world. It's a digital download, right
Tom Rhodes net is where they go, right?
Can I say this get the album on itunes or amazon? Yeah, and amazon and here's the this is my it's my access code, right?
Yeah, this access code is mine. So I can just download it. Thank you so much. Let's listen to it. Thank you
But can I say I want to say that that you um, you play, you know, because when you came back from, you know
You know, you're european, you know, hoity-toity thing that you were doing, you know, um
Whatever the good life and you came back to LA. I got a drink tea with my pinky. Yeah that you um
You know came and you know, you're just so still fucking hilarious
And you're like you have tell jokes. You're not like somebody's ambiguously funny. You're very just funny
Your your bits have endings and switches
Not being real like yeah, and you're just fun to watch and um
It just was cool seeing you come around again because it's like, you know, I
I'm a fan and um, I love comics and I love your generation
Like when I see because I'm friends with markets on this podcast. I love patent. Yeah, I love all those guys, you know, and um
Steve travitz was way before you right way before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Um, we haven't had Steve travitz. Maybe never happened. Now. Did you have the chicken bone? Did you taste it? I have
I can only do this moment. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, you understand why we we suck on the chicken bone? Yeah, I do
I think it's adorable
But you don't agree that it's flavorful over chicken bones. Uh, it is so obvious. I you know, um
There's like some sort of sexual thing going on. It's so fucking obvious. I love
I love chicken fucking bones. I uh, I won't I won't go for the the shrimp heads, but I'll eat the small chicken
Fuck not well the shrimp head. You usually like fry it so much so that the heads become just crunchy
Yeah, and so you just it it feels it tastes like the rest of the shrimp. Very good. Yeah
Well, I think it's cool that I have, you know, Philippine family. Yeah, you try balut the egg
The duck uh, the duck embryo. See how he responds is one dish. See how he responded to your question
He saw right through you
Did you see that? I think so. You just be quiet. Go ahead, baby
I I I
I missed the question because of the uh, lovely curvature of your face
Wow, wow hiring interns or anything
Wow
You're gonna jump ship and go to his fucking podcast
He'll take me to Europe
Yeah, we're just two different kinds of people. That's all we run our business in two different ways, you know
So, um, I'm sorry about, um
Your relationship
But you know, I know I know I still feel bad. I feel bad about if you had talked to me a couple months ago
I I would have been a different person. Yeah, I feel good about it. Yeah, but that's still like I just thought that was gonna be a
Forever thing and um, yeah, I do too. I have another question for you before we end. Um, why don't you watch Game of Thrones?
Oh, okay. So I watched the first episode and once they threw the kid off the top of the building
Um, I was done anything with kids really disturbs me
You know when you read about kids getting, you know murdered or
You know, uh molested or something. Uh, it uh shit like that bothers me and you know what more kids die
So, so okay, so check it out. So so yeah
So I didn't really get through that first episode when they threw the kid off the top of the building
And then somebody told me I've had conversations with that kid ends up. He comes back. He lived whatever
So then I was on the road somewhere a couple years later
And uh flipping through the channels and HBO there's Game of Thrones was on. I thought you know what? I'm gonna give this another chance
I'm gonna sit here. They burned alive a 12 year old girl
I
That was the next one
And then the mom was okay with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's shireen. Yeah, shireen. Yeah
So the only the only episode you saw two kids got hurt. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I get it particularly painful episode
I actually that was hard too. That was a hard one. So those are the only ones I've seen
I know you should see the episode where ollie dies. Yeah. Yeah. Ollie's another kid
Yeah, but the show is great if you ever
I'm gonna I think I you know, I I think um, I think I'll start at the beginning and give it a shot. It's really good
Yeah, everybody's I'm obsessed with it. You know what? I think it's better than Game of Thrones. My new album is recorded
24 cities around the world it starts in Paris it ends in Jerusalem. Wow. There's 40 tracks
It's three hours long. Some people said why didn't you just break it up into three albums? No, this is the concept for the album
Wow. So there's the there's three Paris tracks
Uh, you know, it's three Hong Kong tracks. Now, how do you know, you know
That they're they're in Hong Kong. Do they laugh differently or do you say that they're in Hong Kong at the beginning?
Like when they laugh they go
Like that's a Hong Kong. I uh, how do you know you're in Hong Kong? Well, like at the beginning, you know, I you said
Hello, Hong Kong. Oh, you say hello, Hong Kong. Yeah, so I maybe you could but is there any way you can probably
You know what I mean?
Tell but just by the laugh what country they're in. Well, there's a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot of
Scandinavia, Berlin, yeah, yeah, I don't know
Switzerland, it's uh, and you think now you're proud of it. I think I think it's the best thing and I'm gonna plug it in a second
I think it's the best thing but you're doing I understand what you're doing right now
And you're squeezing in but the thing is is that I have some other questions. Okay. Oh, okay
But you said we were about to say goodbye when I say goodbye because you said you had one more question for me
And that was about game of thrones. So I thought you were rushing me out. I'm not rushing you. I'm not gonna rush you out
Oh, good. I have nowhere to go
I have no wife to go home to
It's so sad
So you film this around the world
I'm lonely. No, no, no, no, no, no. I have no chicken bones with fucking kalai like
I'll make you great. I'll make you chicken bones tonight. No, you're not making no chicken bones for nobody. All right
So did you film this around the world? It's audio. I recorded it
No, shit. It's audio. Tom, but you said filmed it. You said you said whatever
You said I you said yeah, yeah, yeah, could I have a couple more questions?
Please let's what's the difference between now do because because you've been in the game for so long
What is the difference now in the comedy business that's different than it was back in the day?
Oh, it's so much better now. I mean, you know, number one
It was a white male dominated thing and then it was really this there was a lot of uh, kind of generic hacky
White guy shit. It was like all these guys were
Blazers rolled up to the elbow and the bolo ties in the 80s. Yeah. Yeah a lot of men and women relationship stuff
And now it's great. There's there's so many brilliant female comedians
There's there's just every ethnicity and and sexual orientation
And there's so many great voices now, you know
I mean in all these different countries, too
I've got that's the great thing about me doing the international circuits for 20 years
I have great comedian friends of every ethnicity and sexual orientation all over the world
Wow, and it's I really love that. Yeah
Um, there's also different ways of getting your stuff out there that wasn't available to you in the 80s
Like online like to make you know to make an album, you know, I could do that concept and um
You know, it's you know, you can make a podcast you can it's it's so much better now in every way
Yeah, it's so you know the podcast taught me tiger valley fans. I love you
But it got me closer to my real fans
Yeah, people discovered me on just this they didn't even know what I did in the past
And when they come to the show, right there's a different level of connection
They wear my shirts. You know, I mean they say the little lingos
Either George has a pink dick or nosotras papaya or whatever. I'm like they call me slept king
from this from the audience
and when I do a meet and greets afterwards
Some people um, they get kind of emotional
And I like that. I like it too. And they know personal details about you. It's really incredible to get emotional
And um, you know, it's the thing I love about comedy, you know, it's you know
It's really like an exclusive club of fighter pilots
Uh, the people who can do it and the people who can do it very well is even smaller
And it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or black or white or whatever, you know, it just matters if you're funny
So it's the thing about it that I've always loved. It's the it's the great equalizer
It's funny that you say that because there was times where I thought anyone can do it
In my head, not true. It's not true. But still I thought why just get up there and do it
Especially getting through those first 10 years where you're struggling and not making any money, right?
That's most people can't get past the first year
But there was a couple of young people that hang out at the store
You know, there's a like young guys and girls that hang out at the store
That's never never done stand up
But they want you can always tell who they are because they're just always there
And you ask hey, do you do stand up and they go? Yeah, but we want to but you know, that's why come all the time
Or whatever that might be and this is one dude. I keep every time I'm there. He's there
It's for the last year. I've been saying
Dude, have you gone up yet?
It's just I just can't I can't do it. I'm so nervous, right?
Which makes me realize it. I guess it is difficult. Oh my god. It's difficult. She did it 12 times. No, no, no
I was forced to do it. I know but you went up 12 times. That's why in my head. I'm like, oh, she's brave
He wanted to conduct a social experiment because I I think that I'm a fairly eloquent person
So he was like, okay fine, you know, why don't you try stand up a couple times?
I got up there and it was the most agonizing experience of my life
Number one. I wasn't funny. Nothing. I was I had garbled speech. That's what people. I was sweating
Like a maniac. I've had people say she was good. No, I was terrible. I was absolutely terrible
People come up to me that I saw that guy
And it made me appreciate so much what he does day in and day out
And I never want to ever ever do that again. So the experiment has to be over
It's but you did it 12 times. I'm proud of you. Thank you. It was terrible. He's done it
But he was great. He's great. You were yeah, the only one that hasn't done it in this room is
Bryce, Bryce. Yeah, his time will come. It's what your time will come, you know
So how we enter a podcast is we do something called um unhelpful advice and we have a email
I also want to plug your what you where how do they find your podcast? Uh tom rhodes radio smart camp. It's um
iTunes
Whatever are you at atc too? I am. Okay. Yeah. Oh, so you're part of our family. Yeah, we're atc as well. Yeah
And tom rhodes net
I'm crushing it on instagram at underscore tom rhodes. You can scroll back and see me and my mother and jerus
Yeah, yeah, follow him on that
Like if you really go further back, you can see the motorcycle accident. I had 45 miles north of
Hanoi last april
What happened your what happened? Uh, I've been terrified of motorcycles my whole life
I had a wreck when I was 14 on a dirt bike
um, and then
I was afraid of them my whole life and then when I was filming in peru for that dutch travel show
Uh, we were at the nazca lines and uh, this guy let me ride his motorcycle around the nazca lines
So I kind of got over my fear a little bit and the dude who runs the gigs in hanoi also gives
Motorcycle tours of the north of vietnam. So my wife ashna's brother teaches motorcycle
Um lessons in roterdam. So last two summers ago
I'd spend an afternoon with him taking lessons and I thought that was enough to go on a
You know 100 mile right north vietnam motorcycle tour
And that was the fourth time I had ever been on a motorcycle in my life and
The guy who runs the gig in the tour
Uh, he got behind me and started filming me 30 seconds before I crashed
And so you're it's on camera that you crash. All right. Follow um tomrodes right now. You have to see the disaster
Yeah, it's awesome. I was wearing a helmet. I didn't get hurt. You didn't get hurt at all then. No, I just skin my elbow a little bit
Oh poor baby. So um
So we do this email thing called unhelpful advice people call on with problems and we try to answer
okay
Unhelpful advice with bobby kalayla and guya tom
There he is
Hey guys, I'm going to try to keep this short and straight to the point
My father had an affair with another woman and left our home to live with her
My dad had a vasectomy after I was born before getting divorced and only being separated with my mother for about eight months
My father had a vasectomy reversal and got his gf pregnant
Now they are married. My mom rightfully feels bitter and resentment towards my dad
My dad wants me to have a relationship with him and his new wife and family and is sad about me not wanting to
Is it okay for me not to want to and what should I try or what should I do?
I think hate and bitterness is the fuel that keeps things moving in this world
Keep on
You really believe that? Uh, no, but my father cheated on my mother constantly and they uh finally got divorced and
Um, and I remember the
gum-smacking whore that he left my mother for
And it was difficult to get close to that woman
So I identify explicitly with what this person is saying. It's a long hard road, baby
Uh, and then you know, my father through the years. He was with some some different women
Um of different qualities and then later in life, you know, um, he the
I the the the woman he married from the Philippines. I I love her. She's great
And then there was, you know, a couple people before then that were pretty great too. So, um, it's all circumstantial and um
It sounds like there's some hard cold bittershit in that email. Oh, yeah, I can relate to you and I just have
We just deal with everything in the opposite ways. I think what would you say?
No, I'm just saying just in job is watching you talk. Yeah, and being so clear about what you were saying
Why what I I experience what that person I understand though. I'm just saying there was no vasectomy
I'm not fighting with you. I'm not fighting with you. But like I'm not fighting with you. Yeah, I'm just telling you
I'm just telling you that
You you you just you know, I just observing you over the last couple years at the comic clubs or whatever
And I've always thought this that do you just deal with
Everything in a completely different way than I do
We internalize things different. We react differently
Um, our thought processes are different. It's incredible. What god does
Right, my thing is this cut them cut them out the dad. Yeah forever. No, it's for right now
For how long though?
For me, it's like look if that's how you feel
If that's how you feel then feel it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, true
And if he's being an inconsiderate fuck right now and not being you know, not he's not
I think these things are so delicate if he he it sounds like he's being really indelicate about the situation and every
He's being proud of the fact that he has his new girlfriend is knocking her up
And he he doesn't have any regard for the feelings of the family that he left behind but he's not gonna be
An asshole forever. So maybe you can hate him right now feel all those feelings
But if he morphs into a better man later on then you can have a relationship with him
But be open to that. But if you feel like shit right now, you're that's warranted. That's good
I think it sounds like he kind of disrespected the mom and the yeah, it sounds like there's hard feelings about that
And like my father, you know, he disrespected my mom, but you know, like you said
He eventually became a better guy. Yeah, you know through you know after he made many more mistakes
You know, but I think yeah feel your feelings
You're obviously your mom's still with us, right? Yes. She's turned actually my mother turned 80 today. Wow
Wow, your dad passed. My father was killed by a drunk driver in 2009. Oh my gosh, should I ask that?
We should have just gotten out of the fucking yeah. Yeah, really that happened. Yeah in 2009
Oh my god, was he driving or was he just walking down the street?
He had picked up his Philippine wife from she was a caregiver picked her up from work and was driving her home
And was on 55 highway and some drunk driver doing like over 100 miles an hour was weaving in and out of traffic
Hit his mini van from behind flipped three or four times
Ended up in a ditch. She was badly hurt, but not as bad as my father
and
He was in the hospital for like three months then he got out and got pneumonia and died
Tom Rhodes everybody
He's tough. Yeah, that's how we're gonna end. We have to end like that. All right. Give Tom Rhodes
I think you're so afraid to ask you questions
This is my podcast you'll never have this is my podcast and I'm ending there
Okay, but you know what? How about a happy birthday to his mother happy birthday mom?
All right. Happy birthday to you. All right. That's it. Let's clap for Tom Rhodes everybody. Oh my god
We'll be right back. We'll be right back with the housekeeper
Thank Bobby
What an ending to an episode. I feel like Bobby asked all the right questions tonight
Except for that one
I love how we opened it with
How's your wife at how we ended it with how's your father? It's like you start and end with tragedy. Jesus Christ full circle
But the force isn't always a tragedy. Sometimes it's just you know
a new chapter
I mean, Tom. Yeah, Tom said this is hey, so um, I really need um, you guys's help
I would like um a few um fan theories as to why my shirt
If there must be a neighborhood bandit who has done this to my shirt and Bryce, you've offered some solution
I think it was bobby
So you think that bobby here to give you a better idea you think that bobby did this
Oh, yes, this whole right here. I think because he admitted to wearing a shirt
I think he put it on the first arm went through and
Ripped Mike right off
Left arm so he just ripped the arm off, but don't you think he would remember that?
Okay, here's another piece of information that I find
um very suspect
I just found the sleeve
Inside my headband drawer
And when I reached in there, I thought it was a headband for working out and I was like wait a second
What is this and it's the t-shirt sleeve
so someone
Someone thought to cut the sleeve and put it in my headband drawer sneaky
Well, you had an interesting theory earlier, which was you slept walk
And cut your own, but I'm not a sleepwalker
Also, I've always just thought about Scientologists because they live so close to us
Yeah, we're by the Scientology building in Santa Monica
And also I thought it was interesting that I just I um my friend Cindy who was doing my hair this weekend
She she burned me with a curling iron
Oh
The sleeveless side. So it's the sleeveless side. So whoever it was was a really good friend who didn't want your uh
Womb to have like yeah, he didn't want um the ear or the the chafing of the burn and the shirt
So I need um some theories from you guys as to how you how we all think this um happened
And who you think the culprit is is it Bryce playing a sick joke on me? Is it George? Is it Gilbert? Is it bobby?
Fine. Is it my mother my sister? I'll admit it. I'll admit it. I did it. So you should wear this long sleeve
From tiger the tiger
This whole episode great
Uh, but yeah, we should guys put your fan theories and uh the youtube comments uh email us actually i'm curious
Who wrote fan fiction behind this?
But I feel like a whole movie could be written about the sick act of taking a sleeve off my favorite
Cam oil shirt. Do you know how precious this shirt is?
I got it from jamie at raggedy threads in little tokyo
And when I saw this shirt for the very first time and I I touched it and it's so worn in
I thought god, this is my dream shirt and I took like I remember taking it home
And I took so many pictures with it that day because I was like this is my favorite shirt of all time
So I know someone knows that fact. So it has to be someone that knows this is my favorite shirt of all time
And it's got to be one of you fucks. So I like this. Let's write some. Yeah fan fiction. It has to be minimum five paragraphs
Like I want people to go deep read through that
Hey Bryce, you want to read some fan fiction about the sleeveless shirts?
Uh speaking of shirts, uh horrible segue today is the day
Uh, so if you haven't copped them yet, you better hurry up and go to the website right now at the cop
Aquafina shout out to aquafina the tiger belly dot com website. We have our gray me walking down the street
Long-sleeve shirts and they're also white and also brice. Uh, why don't you show them the little pin right next to you?
Oh, yes, I love these things great. Where's our camera?
Tell them about that pin brice and uh, you know, talk about the backing. That's beautiful. What is it up?
Uh, let's say the audio only audience. What are they? George?
Simmer down
Class in the back here
Very high quality. It's a glue bottle. It's the favorite design everybody had that's on the uh on the
sweatshirts. Let the man speak, George. He's saying nothing
This is how brice does he built the camera since you have things to say about this
It's because brice would have been invited to the wedding and not you
No, it's actually because he wasn't giving anything useful. It's a pin. It has backings. It has a clasp
Uh, you can pin it on things like what is it?
It's a favorite design that everybody loves so uh, what is it George? I still haven't heard what it is
I did set it when you were like, okay, you were angry. So you stopped paying attention. These two guys run a company together
It's only gotten worse
Shout out to seven ecu's production. These are the CEOs at the top
Oh, jeez Gilbert. All right
But guys get this pin. It's really dope. I put it in my little gym bag. I put it on my overalls
I put them everywhere. Yeah, and david so is rocking it on his bag as well. Shout out to george for passing along
Um, what else? Oh, also, um, bobby will be in, um,
Cincinnati, ohio as well as tempe, arizona. Those are his next, um, road dates
Please go to bobbyleelive.com
um for more information on that
And you know come out and support papa
Uh, he'll be happy to see you and to get all the information remember bobbyleelive.com and follow him on instagram at bobbyleelive
Kalyla, where can we follow you at calamity k?
Oh, but uh, brice, where can we follow you brice?
George, where can we look at underscore kimmel on instagram? Oh, okay
You can also follow us on instagram at tiger belly at twitter at the tiger belly
And emails any questions at the tiger belly gmail.com everyone. Have a good night
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