TigerBelly - Episode 191: Sweet Beef
Episode Date: April 24, 2019Bobby drifts in and out of consciousness. Khalyla can’t fake it. Gilbert is happy and he knows it. Pink Dick has white knights. We talk Bacon & Strawberries, gas mask laughter, Boggy Le...e, and colostrum.Check out bonus content here:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey
Babe come on, let's go
This is the same reason why he will never acknowledge when I introduce him to good music
He has to do everything on his own find it on his own go to start it
Don't even don't even do the countdown because she's already in a mood
When you're happy and you know it clap your hands
When you're happy and you know it and you don't know if you know it if you don't know it, then you don't know nothing
I don't know the rest I don't know the song, you know, it's a childhood memory
We used to sing it around the campfires
I want to know what songs what songs you guys sang oh, yeah in America
That's it
No, what about what put the right foot in put the right foot out shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey, and you dancing all about something like that. That's what it's all about
That one is you guys do I'm Farah Farah Jaka Farah Jaka Doremi
Oh
What about
Oh, it's a good one the classic
Yeah, that's a good one
Yeah, yeah, they used to play that on the island when I had the my sweatshops
Yeah, and we used to sing have to have the little the retarded
I don't know they don't those are not ones that we know
Let's start over. It's like weird go ahead do the countdown five four three two, you're happy and now you know
No, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, oh
God so welcome to another episode of Tiger belly and
And we've got
Gilbert we've got Caliola we've got
George and we got we're all here together again as a family. There's no but guest
I'll tell you this though right now when I saw Tom Rhodes at the club
the other night he he grabs my arm and he goes great response buddy huh great
response I think it was he felt good about it and we felt good to give him
that platform I think that people genuinely felt connected to him yeah and
he also people thought it was really awkward when I brought up the beginning
when the break up of his marriage the fall of his marriage yeah that was the
first thing that happened the last thing which is the last thing you ended on
up with a bang to how's how's your how's your father oh yeah and not just any
death either yeah tragic tragic drunken someone like a drunk driver hit him
yeah you know what else I read the tragic thing about Tom Rhodes what his
sister passed away two years ago I'm so happy you did not really go down the
family how's your siblings oh my god I almost asked that that was the last
question it had to end when it ended well you know what though he's a spring
chicken and he looks great yeah and let's just hope let's pray to God that he
survives you know the upcoming storm in life he'll survive in general he's not
in the Game of Thrones yeah oh yeah but that's that you know when people say to
me when people say to me oh I'll just I have to talk about this before even to
get into the Game of Thrones I just want to show you something and this is
really offensive and and and just see if I have it right okay so this is a show
I'm doing Skyler Stone's Comedy Rocks okay and it's Tuesday April 25th when
is that this week Friday this Thursday in three days okay and look okay I'm in
the back right Luke who's in the front here you know who that is Steven Fury
one of my openers I love Steven I understand that but the thing is is
this okay I'm gonna I will not do the show unless he's back here and I'm here
and I have to be a little bigger did you request it well I'm about to please do oh
it's like the Avengers yeah but how am I in the back in the back like that yeah
and you're not even color corrected I'm not even color correct everything else
is blended that's thank you for even that's what it is yeah I'm not color
corrected it is bullshit so Skyler I'm out of the show if this is not changed
I'm gonna fucking um I'm gonna put it on Twitter in a second I really am I'm
gonna put circles around and I'm gonna I'm gonna do a whole thing um is there
an app that I can have that can make a circle yeah it's in the iPhone already
there's a circle app in there you just draw a circle around yeah but I okay I
have one where I can put my finger and draw one I don't want one of those no no
baby you can just do it on a text you edit the photo yeah and you use your
tools and you can just scribble although I don't want to scribble it because I
don't know how to make a perfect circle I wanted a perfect circle you can do a
perfect circle semi-perfect someone's calling you oh it's Nick Rutherford
let's just pick it up alright let him know though hello hello Bobby hello Nick
Nick so um my manager said am I working tomorrow or no but I got no text or no
email or nothing from you guys oh is there lines that I have got to
memorize anything or no no no lines it's truly like the end of the season it's
Randy's party you have any idea what what type of call time it would be for
Bobby okay cool thank you Kerry which is um your call time won't be till after
lunch and lunch is probably like 1 30 to 30 so you're all will be somewhere in
the afternoon you'll get something ASAP we're just like we got like three more
days in this studio and we're like playing catch up with all this shit you
know hey man I don't want to know about you know I mean you know what the
production is doing I just want to know what I'm supposed to be there my friend
you'll get an email your calls gonna be after 2 p.m. thank you so much I'm not
gonna fight with you I'm you're on the podcast by the way you're on the
podcast by the way yeah you are I know so well that's what you did plug your
social yeah plug your socials and also know that whenever you talk to me you
could be on something so be nice you were very nice alright so tomorrow
after lunch okay thank you I love you bye alright so that's that his show was
actually the best guest starring I've ever had in terms of you worried the
titties yeah you know when I showed up there I'm like this is the kind of show
I want to be on it's weird you know they're like be weirder and I like that
and I hate I'm tired of playing it real play it real no why not because life
ain't real dog give you know that baby those look really good on you look good
it was photoshopped no dude those are real tips those are I would love to have
titties I think you would I would love it yeah I would suck my to my tits does
not let me ask you something about tits yeah but press let's ask him well you
have you have an expert I have none wait let me ask you about human breasts
okay and I and I'm gonna ask some questions so when I'm let's say I have
human breasts you have the woman no I was a female breasts okay and I want
milk can I just suck it out of there anytime I want it or no we don't mean
no I've seen women on YouTube suck their own breast and I'm sorry to say that I
can just produce milk on my own right now no you have a baby yeah oh is that
you have a baby well and also you it doesn't really really come out only
colostrum comes out the first time we know about claustro it's like a feedback loop so
the baby okay can I explain how it goes I'm confused yeah explain it please so
it's not until the actual the baby starts to suckle that it sends a signal to
the brain and the och and your brain releases oxytocin and then all of a
sudden you start it will it will it's a catalyst for milk right so if I make my
lips like a baby's lips and I go gaga Google and I suck my own not just be real
okay right because you're you know the will my will my breast be able to
realize that it's an actor acting like a baby or it's a real baby oh no you can
just suck anyone can suck well then that don't okay there we go so you want to
be a wet nurse you know like back in the day like really rich monarchs they
didn't want they had to a country to rule so they'd be like look I don't want to
breastfeed why don't we just have a woman who's already breastfeeding a
baby to breastfeed all my kids that's a job it's a job a wet nurse yes yeah I'm
sure they still do because I think that I mean now you they you can get cuz some
women don't produce milk as easily so you can buy breast milk from other women
who are who pump a lot who are really good milk producers question you might
have to edit this or not you might have to edit this out or not but it's a
science question right all right it's a science question right so I let's say
um Kalyla right we have a baby sure and close breastfeeding the baby okay but
right before right the baby latches on to the breast right I slip in my dick
where and where what the babies mouth and the baby latches on to my head of my
penis is that illegal
is that illegal is it illegal are you doing it with intention to slip it in a
baby's mouth and yes it's illegal well no I'm not sure I'm not no I'm not doing
it like I'm gonna get all you see baby would do it it will latch cuz it just
wants to suck how about we never try that I know I'm just saying I wouldn't do
it as a sexual thing I would just do it like I wonder if you would try to suck
curiosity the tip of my penis like suckles every part of yeah anything
suckling my penis though I will get aroused I won't do it I won't do it I
won't do it yeah yeah like if a dog suckled or anyone suckled the word
suckle makes me arouse I think the word suckled us yeah yeah like a honey
suckle that makes me arouse I just got half heart yeah don't say the word
really weird because suckling is such a thing only babies do oh really sucking
is an adult okay baby I like suckling I don't find you suckling me one day I
know I will suckle your teeth oh you will I suckle your teeth all the time
yeah but suckle my penis that's easy is that is your difference between then
suckling because sucking would be like oh my oh my and then suckling would be
like that's what I want that's what I want that's what I want that's what I
desire like she just hit a warhead on the tip on the tip hold on hold on now is do
you just want the very tip of your penis suckled or do you want the whole head
like this no no no I don't like options don't you want this look what or do you
want that I want the second one that's a good one yeah I want the second one
gross so that would be that would be wrong for me to do that just slip in my
penis you blur out my face when I'm suckling George no no I already wrote
that down as an IG clip yeah yeah let me ask you something you don't have to
edit that out right that's not is that no yeah people get sense you know
something was legal not legal you should learn about the law yeah that's
what it is here on tiger built a lot learning his instincts aren't good so he
has bad instincts ask questions yeah I know the thing is is that and I just
and I love tiger belly fans and when you're if you're listening right now in
the no social studio and God bless your family but you know you know when I'm
eating just when I'm eating you know wait until I'm done for photos what
happened recently oh no what happened just recently you know it's been you know
a lot of like I'm eating a hamburger right and then all of a sudden there's a
hand on my shoulder don't and I'll get a whisper you know you know my captain
don't whisper that shit although whisper even something even more ominous
and mysterious like George is a pink dick all right and when I'm eating yeah
and then they'll have then I'll see they'll they take a photo and I'm eating
a hamburger you know just wait until afterwards that's all I want to say
let me finish the meal yeah because I love you know when people drive but I
love it you know we do it all the time you know the other day Kaleila had a
fixed a star moment what celebrity mom yeah that's not a restaurant paint the
picture please I did not yes would they would they say the guy came up and said
I love your podcast but yeah but she he looked pointed at her and said I love
you in the podcast especially no she did he did you're getting some love out
there too huh oh hell yeah shout out to Gabriel at the Bigfoot Lodge what no
he's a nice guy the bartender Bigfoot Lodge you know who's an he's even better
than Gabriel Sal from Davenport they can be both you know why I tell you equally
good not only did Sal not come and whisper in Bobby's ear yeah he served us
the biggest banana foster cream delicious heaven slice cake the best we've
ever had he also was respectful he waited until the end of the meal he came up
to the table and he said this was just papaya and then he goes I'm a fan you
guys want dessert and they gave us a dessert the cake was so good I asked
for a picture with him and I will go back to Encino to go to Davenport to see
him again see Sal that actually restaurant was very good by the way yeah
what kind of food was it it's a steak house nice it was good we brought my
little house cake was good we brought Michael Rocha and also I just want to
say one else another thing I'm gonna say names but maybe this will get back to
the person but just hear me out put it in ether I'm gonna put out in the ether
alright you nervous we've bidded we bid on a house for the last month and a
half yeah this person keeps going no one else is bid on this fucking it's in
studio city no one else is bid on this house okay and then we keep going and
he just doesn't he doesn't budge he doesn't help me out alright we're now
talking like minuscule money now right and I just want to let the guy know I
know who you are I know who you are I know what you do I know we've worked
together before and I know who you are so either make the deal or not but if
you don't make this deal it's fine you just have a you know you're just gonna
really piss me off I think he was he's trolling you because I've been so night
I think I feel like I've been so patient and nice about it and I want your house
so fucking bad right yeah and now it's like you're knickling and dying in the
situation and I like you I want to be friends with you and I appreciate the
work you did in the house but just give it to me
yeah Jason Bateman I tell you how why you're being trolled why because he
knows exactly who you are yeah he knows why I'm when he's when he did the
counteroffer yeah instead of Bobby he put boggy with two G's I don't think we
should say who gives a shit Bobby boggy I mean
okay that's gonna you're right you're right yeah all right there is no source
I did some research on the internet on the internet okay but anyway um give me
the house all right now let's talk about Game of Thrones if you're not what
let's not talk about it too soon let's just give people a week to you know we
can't talk about at least the first couple you say generic things that don't
get away yeah because some people have you know weird work weeks and oh no you
have to watch it on Sunday that's the rules with Game of Thrones man I know
but you know that everyone has the luxury of getting a Sunday night off you
can work graveyard and some people have a stretch of days like my sister and
Renzo okay you haven't watched it they had to watch it today let's talk about
the people though that refuse to watch any of them I think we've I know I'm
just saying I just want to say again you know I repeat things over and over again
it's fine get your fucking shit together man get your fucking shit together
it's the greatest show ever made I hate liking somebody that said something that
much I do I hate it you know I look at the you know photos of these actors and
actors at their parties feeling on top of the world making all the money and
they get everything right and I want to be there next to them yeah right just in
the back you know I mean celebrating but I don't get a vibe I'm not a part of it
but my point is is that you know but I obsess about you know and they're living
the life and it's a great show I have to say whoever's doing the show all these
people it's great so if you're not watching it you should because that's
dumb I got a little backlash from last week because apparently people are very
upset that I cockblock George's invitation to the wedding and I mean
really upset by it so you want to know what's the most embarrassing thing is to
have white nights like defend your honor yes I I do not ever want to have white
nights online I mean come on that makes you feel weaker than anything else I
never usually have to like explain myself but I wrote somebody back like
because he was really just like in a rage I think I was like this was a
really intimate ceremony with really close friends and family George and Jeff
don't know each other Jeff knows there's a hashtag however with George's name and
his fiancee's name and George George is not a fucking what George was born to
lose period whoever's even defending this guy this dude right here right was
born to fail better watch out Bobby the pink dick army's gonna get out to you the
pink dick army because be careful where you know you be careful they're like
the van because you know what you're small you're at you they're not even the
this guy's not even like Leanna Mormont's army yeah he's the butcher's boy the
butchers that dies in the first fucking season yeah yeah yeah this guy is
nothingness okay you're not even big dick Padre he's not even big dick pot let
me see people that defending George okay you you're defending somebody that
lost you're defending somebody that went to bat like imagine somebody going to
bat you know me 15 times and striking out every time at some point you're like
you know what I'm gonna throw away his baseball card
I'm being real though the baseball cards you keep are the ones that hit the ball
okay am I not right home run like strawberry Daryl
I don't like strawberry Daryl strawberry Daryl strawberry Daryl strawberry Daryl strawberry
you know that I went to high school with his son and I went to a really shitty
shitty school you went oddly enough I remember Daryl's Daryl strawberry son was
a grade below me at Blair high schools and what the fuck is happening his last
name is Daryl though right no strawberry is his last name what I've never heard
of anyone's last name being like that strawberry fruit like Johnny cantaloupe
I've never heard that you've heard of strawberry before aside okay
aside from Daryl strawberry did you every year we have a friend named Sosie
bacon yeah so true that's true that's a good point that's a good point if Kevin
bacon can exist and no one bats an eyelash right then a strawberry can exist
that is true damn it you're right that's a good logic that's a good logic all right
fine Daryl strawberry noted in your mind I'm saying is is that you know if I
collected baseball cards I would have a drier strawberry one and not a George
Kimmel one didn't he become like a drug addict yeah yeah he did a lot of crack
yeah cocaine I don't care about that you still was a champion right oh yeah did
it win a lot I don't know played for the Cubs for a while no so I don't think he
won a lot then his son was really good basketball player I think he eventually
played like D1 collegially or something it's so odd I just don't know much about
sports football yeah but I just you know I I've I've shamed myself in
situations remember that IBM story with the two hockey legends yeah yeah I told
one to get me a coke it was Stan Makita and Gordy how oh my god two old old
guys I'm doing the commercial with Hall of Famers yeah but no one told me that
they were I thought they were just extras can you get me an extra to get you
coax yeah and I go hey man give me a diet coke he didn't and he's like all
right so he went to craft service it got me a diet you back to Stanley and then
at the end of the night they're like you know what it was like working with those
that legends I go legends and they go Gordy on Stan Makita I'm like
give me a fucking diet coke I wish I could find that commercial IBM
commercial Internet find it with their old I'm not there I hope there's a
commercial here with Stan Makita I'm so kind of this is a weird podcast it's
like I'm drifting in and out I love it of consciousness you're on brand babe
that's what I am that's what I do this is on brand for you a drifting in and
out to just be chaotic yeah yeah yeah why it's just who we are who you are when I
when I see clips of myself online I go no sense no it makes sense I say or like
even like some of our sponsors is like not like natural the only thing that
still to this day doesn't make sense is the goat sounds you attempted yeah yeah
so that's on brand being weird I think that's just yourself do I talk like this
in normal conversation when I'm talking to people yeah I do yeah so when I'm
talking to like like regular people like a librarian in a library this is what I
sound like how often you had a library I've never been one of what I'm just
trying to give you an example like if I if I was in our restaurant and I'm
ordering food you've been to a restaurant with me do I talk this
manically I don't think you sound manic I think you sound when you speak to
people that you don't know yeah you have a very very nice way of making them
feel very special because you ask a lot of questions even though I know you're
not listening to their never listen yeah and then you have this thing where you
always have a couple stories like stock stories oh I love where you they'll say
something and you'll add information and it sounds like it's a personal story of
yours but it's actually something you told 16 times that day yeah but then
they're like oh my god like he told me a story about his life and it you're very
good at that I do another thing that's so me well I just thought I could I did it
again the other day and whenever I do it I say it I say don't ever say that again
but I always say it again which is right so let's say let's say so I'm at a
restaurant you're a waiter right and I ask you what the special like what's a
special drink and just make up a funny name like a drink so I go what's that
special drink do you have a drink of the day what's it called it's called the
heated a rise oh really that was my nickname in high school you sure yeah fucking time yeah
yep and whenever I say that right sometimes it gets a laugh but sometimes
when it would like if it was that yeah it wouldn't go out yeah that's usually like
oh like beefy chunk and then he's like yeah that was my yeah yeah it's beefy
time it's like Korean sweet beef and they'll be like oh that was my nickname in
high sweet beef yeah sweet beef would be and that would get a laugh you know when
I first started dating Bobby that was my nickname I used to call him sweet beef
hmm and after a while I was like am I racist for saying this out loud in
public because he loved it I even made you remember I made you a hat it was I
embroidered it sweet beef yeah but I don't like sweet beef in general yeah you
do you eat that one from Panda Express oh that's true I do like that
baby I don't like beef I don't like you would don't don't like that sweet
um teriyaki oh yeah he doesn't like eel sauce eel sauce so good though yeah I
fucking hate I'll tell you why Bobby is right sauce Bobby is right because take
that out I feel like it's it's a way for to mask flavors that aren't there it's
kind of for me it's a little lazy because if the fish is really good and the
rice of the sushi is really good you really don't need shit it's also they
use it in in in it's in something that the flavor already is good so they'll
like where I've seen it lately is the spicy tuna on crispy rice yeah okay yeah
so it's kind of fried rice but it's like hard rice with still spicy tuna it's
like a cake right I don't need a sweetness to it because I want spicy I
guess that's right yeah I also don't I'm not a fan of sweet things on fish I
like a lot of sweet things on fish I like my I want you to do it every time
I will I will whenever we go we eat I want you to throw that out there but
then you got to do it with a little chuckle and then a shoulder shrug you
go that's what I noticed when we eat anytime we eat Bobby doesn't he smiles
go thank you so much and he goes back to his phone but he does another thing he
does too when he gets seated by a hostess he plays it really silly and
cute he goes um can can I eat here can I eat here yeah yeah I do that but what
is the tactic in your mind it's cute yeah yeah I do cute shit and then you
don't have standard ways of doing things that you develop over the years so much
from you yeah yeah there's different tricks and stuff I mean when I meet one
of Cindy's new friends she hates when I do this I go she goes oh have you
met she's like yeah what's a high school together and she fucking hates it but
the person always laughs yeah cuz we don't know each other here's another
dumb thing I do do you guys like when I'm paying do you guys take these yeah
it's just regular dollar bills and they would there was go yeah we take
American money and I go all right okay cool right so there's you don't have
those things you take the idea yeah do you have anything like that no my dad
always had things like that like you know we're just gonna have water why do
you want anything for drink not just water we're too cheap just like responses
yeah would that get a laugh though we're too cheap the way he would deliver it
one quarter of the time in the Midwest you know it's an easier crowd and then
when they say it's funny how we do that are we are we being not genuine or being
fraudulent when we I think you're being joy because you're trying to bring up
give a connection to a to the people who you're gonna see okay yeah but you know
you're all I'm also like that when I meet you know fans right like I I have to
somehow control them in a way because I don't like it when they get physical with
me so I get physical with them up front so when people when people have met me
no not in a sexual way but when people meet me they're like I'll go like I go
I'll go like um I'll grab their arm yeah and I'll kind of go and I'll kind of do
a little pretend to do something I'll go does that hurt and they'll go no I go
damn it I've been training right like that'll kill out of us
did you I have so many you defuse a humor so fast yeah I have so many little
things yeah he is a genius at that yeah he when something is escalating and
tensions are rising in a table yeah you and Gilbert are so gifted at that where
you'll just say one or two things and then everyone's laughing again yeah but
I know you're very good at that I can't do it I ride the wave of tension I'm
like oh it's about to blow it's about to blow I'm here for it smile a lot more
when I feel you're uncomfortable use fake smiles but it's like this it's this
be you can tell my fake smile is just like this but I also sometimes forget
that that's what my listening face is yeah and I hate it because I've seen
myself on camera and then I'm I'm trying to really fully listen and try it's
difficult to make me laugh that's a problem okay well pretend laugh babe like
if you're in if you're reading a scene and then you have to laugh you do it can
you do it I can't yeah you have to do it now
it sounds really bad if I try you know just you know just how do you do it you
think of something that made you laugh before okay I'm gonna think of your goat
sounds all right it's not coming out maybe you don't do it right now if I
know if you don't do it right now I feel like it's something I cannot do it
that's why it's gonna disturb me for life you do it right now I'll be honest I
don't think I've seen you do it you know what she did the other day though that
she did do one and she did a fake laugh that made me laugh so hard no no that
wasn't a fake laugh he says so what would I do yeah yeah so what I said was we
were in the elevator I said what would I do what would you do if your son said
fuck you mom you know me you're a cunt or whatever what would you because you
she'd be strict and this is what so I say that to me hey fuck you mom you're a
cunt she did that I did a menacing I'm menacing laugh right which made me laugh
because it didn't sound like maybe it's not it wasn't a laugh it wasn't a laugh
yeah yeah I can't do it you can't you ever heard me fake laugh no cuz I've
noticed when people will say something funny that you don't know you do like
just smile and you kind of like it's like like a polite thing yeah but you
don't let me when you laugh baby you don't laugh laugh like we laugh no you
make me laugh no wait on this podcast I've seen her laugh for oh yeah she like
breaks I think you're I think to this day oh my whole life there's no way
that's okay so that is your real laugh is that fake no it's fake that's fake
but I see you do that so many times with it's always faking I'm always faking
are you yeah when people when I do this and I've know this is a bit when I've
done this with guests come out and I go I put my head up like this yeah and I
laugh sometimes I like this right I'm not laughing how do you do that but I
will say no because there's times I've seen you do the head thing but then you
put your feet up I know that's real when you it's not it's not real the feet
thing no the only time you the only time I can really really know when I'm
laughing is when I did the fucking the goat noise and then when she was
laughing and then I started laughing that was a real laugh dude yeah but don't tell
that to the guests yeah I'm still gonna cut this out no don't cut this out either
yeah but that's just a you know something I have to learn this year
someone has to teach me how to socially fake laugh because in it when I don't my
face is this just be your I feel like just do you then people at least know
with you it's like oh okay I don't like feeling when people's like I don't want
anyone to feel that their joke fell flat with me because then it's just weird and
it happens all the time with me because he he has a such a high level of comedy
so when I meet everyday people and they try to like be funny around me and I'm
just so stone faced and I'm like that's not even remotely funny not
remotely funny yeah yeah I love you're a cyborg yeah it's funny it's when you
know I've hung out with the other day I hung out with Santino I hang out with
guys you know Santino a lot Eric Griffin he doesn't Eric makes it laugh
Santino really makes me laugh Santino makes me laugh laugh because he's so I
love watching Santino talk to other people he doesn't give anyone any
room to say anything and he just dictates I mean you know listen to me
sweetie no this is what it's like you know I mean yeah and he'll he does that
right it makes me laugh so hard that poker thing Andrew was just like dude
he cuts Delia makes me laugh hard Callan makes me laugh hard yeah you right
when I get around certain people but you know what I noticed people regular
people they don't try to be funnier that funny around me I can see them like
kind of clam up a bit you know yours if they're not completely comfortable with
me but I've seen you take risks right I have you take a risk you're completely
comfortable I've seen you throw some jabs yeah right have I taken yeah you're
very funny to me you're very funny to me even around other people though just to
you you're very funny I feel like in private you she makes you laugh she makes
me laugh a lot she also makes me angry though too there's so there's a big part
of me that is so reserved for him you hold back and you hold back I am so
unfunny in in public but with him because there's absolute freedom I do
fucking voices she does voices I do like I make up my own language that he
doesn't understand she does but it's so reserved from I could never ever do it
on here I could never do it around you guys so I've seen some of it like family
like fight nights oh yeah act like an idiot I am an idiot I just thought of
something that she did something when she lived in Long Beach and I don't
remember what why she did it I remember thinking that when she did it I said to
myself this girl's funny right if she it was we were watching something and we
were laughing about something and she goes Bobby Bobby and she does like she
did a gas mask thing she goes Bobby Bobby and you right let's go like that
we both started laughing about it like it was a really weird thing about something
that we were watching fuck and I don't know what I don't know what the thing was
contact but I remember it was a gas match she did with her hand right that was so
fucking funny to me right and we both laughed you know what this is no I do
a lot of really really I make a lot of bold choices around yeah it was really
huge gas mask I wish I could be that free in public you will be you'll get
there yeah until then no one will really know me it's interesting you're free
here you're free no I'm not here no you're free you're you're becoming free
you're free you're but I'm still not the same like comfort level to where I would
try do the silly things that I do with you yeah but you know what maybe one
episode we should try one where we don't even know not even lighter we don't even
air it we just try to figure out let's let's do one episode that we don't air
to see what that sounds like the only way you could truly capture it if you if
you put hidden cameras and that's if you if and put both of us in bed together
you know when we have those times when we do nothing and then we start to poke
at each other yeah and then that's when like the voices come out and then we do
it stand like juice standoffs you know things like that yeah and thanks for
having Russell bro Russell brand here I know but last night me Russell brand
might be on this nothing no Russell brand you're the one who said I'm not
ready for Russell brand yeah I was only trying to pop myself up because I thought
it was gonna happen oh I see I thought it was gonna happen
I've been refreshing emails like every 10 minutes all right here's another one I
want all right here's here's another one this guy Jeremiah from American Idol
I saw your tweet you thought I tweeted him I have Twitter right and I said
like he goes because he did he did a podcast called what was the podcast he
did I'll look it up so this is give me a second you tell people a bit about who
he is cuz I know let me just got Jeremiah Jeremiah Lloyd Harman is he's
on American Idol he's on American Idol okay he's the best guy on it and
Alejandro Alejandro is great but so he says had the pleasure of speaking with
my friend Hilary Sutton last week on her podcast hustle and grace have you
heard of hustle and grace no how many followers do they have we look right now
we look it up not followers but you can always yeah I want to see how they're
doing compared to Tiger belly why why are you because I said do my podcast right
he might and then he replied didn't know he doesn't know none of these American
Idol fuckers and voice fuckers aside from Noah Mack has ever responded to me
hustle and I want to say this right now okay I'm a fan of talent shows the
Slut King demands that you respond to me yeah yeah she has we'll just plug her
everyone go listen to hustle and grace she has 36 reviews we'll try to get her
up to a thousand but she has 36 yeah how many do reviews do we have I think like
five I think it's just a like we have five six thousand reviews that's me we
sound like asshole I don't know it's a friend I think it's a friend that so
be sure to review hustle and grace with Hilary Sutton and then if you haven't
reviewed us yet I'm not being cocky I'm not being cocky I'm not bragging yeah
I'm not bragging yeah let's you know build up hustle and grace but also
Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon I'm a fan of yours and you know we're not hustle and grace
we might be a little bit more small timey than that right yeah and we might
be a little bit a rinky dink you know I mean mom and pop shop of a fucking
podcast but I just wanted to let you know that we do kind of have an audience
as well right and please do the fucking podcast you know who did reply and who
made your dreams come true was Noah Mack I know Noah Mack from the voice is
coming on to our podcast did you set it up right yes sir how excited we I've
never seen him so excited I'm so excited you're on a Yanche check right she
agreed right I'm excited about that right and we've got this lead singer of
Interpol what is he coming Paul banks he's coming on next week next week that
next week yeah yeah oh I can't wait and then Andy dick Andy dick right that's a
dream right okay so I know that you know grace what's her name the hustle and
grace Hillary get bigger good guy as in those right probably and we're just a
small mom and pop please do mine that's why we are a mom and pop podcast we are
yeah even though I went to ATC today and they were blowing wind up my asshole
over they say they love us ATC loves us okay and bill burrows at the top
obviously but right underneath we're in there we're in that big you know the
the septic tank bird Chrysler yeah our issue here is we're in that vicinity of
of you know you know we should be very proud of ourselves yeah can we just stop
sucking I'm not sucking my dick man I'm gonna suckling yeah I want to suckle my
dick that's a good point yeah not in a sexual way what does everything have to
be sexual with you people just suckling very endearing anyway um the last thing
I want to talk about is what do we do after the Game of Thrones even when
everyone dies how do we no no no what I'm saying is is that because the last five
or six years of my life has been like oh it's the new season's coming out six
months from now I can't wait yeah it's there's there really is an excitement
about it right when you on Sunset I know exactly what billboards they put on
right and then within their gigantic these fucking billboards sometimes you
know a couple years ago they had like just little Peter Dinklage's little
head and the dragon above it right and it was you you drive down sunset you're
like oh my god right it's coming back yeah it's just the last year there's
nothing left I can't get excited about you know the Kardashians or any of these
other TV shows right or you know you know I mean what was the last show you
felt like this before Game of Thrones did you have a game I mean I have I have
some I have I think Handmaid's Tale I like yes that that I'll watch but it's
still not the same excitement I mean well I won't you know I'll watch them it's
different it's not the Game of Thrones is our entire family gets together Sunday
night and we scream for an hour and we clap and we cry and we rejoice and it's
such a it's a spectacle it's a big it's a big to-do it's a cultural event I love
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel it's one of my favorite shows ever but I don't gather
around you know the you know with my family on Sundays to watch the episodes
yeah type things it's a good show way too much do you feel like you watch way
too much television not television I mean just shows in general not these days
ooh I feel like I do I need to like a miss ever if there's always a new show
we have to watch it I'm just always right now I'm all about the PBS shows
so like Victoria he always has to hear the PBS oh my god every fucker yeah so
basically what no what it is is this okay is she I watch this no she falls
asleep right with these shows and if you try to turn it off she wakes up which
it has to be on so I'll lay next to her for hours right and it'll be on what do
you call it um repeat or not a repeat auto play so you'll just go right to the
next thing but in between the episodes here right every 45 fucking minutes it's
a PBS masterpiece yeah yeah it's so nostalgic it's so awesome yeah it does
it's he is not wrong I have to have ambient sound to fall asleep I can't
have utter silence or else like I cannot what am I like I like pitch black he
yeah black out yeah you need black out you need your little sleepy hat and
your yeah I covered things yeah I need it so um all right that was a good one
give me the unhelpful advices my name is Earl and I'm a Korean from the city of
Chicago I've been dating my white girlfriend for about nine months now we
both have had feelings of insecurity about each other's relationship histories
as is normal for most relationships I know Bob and Kyle have been extremely
open about their histories to each other and everyone else I watched the first
DVD ASA episode that Bob and Kyle appeared on together when Kyle described
her previous relationship Bobby looked visibly uncomfortable during the whole
thing and I commend him for being able to hold being able to hold it together
like that they say something one second before this brings back you know how the
whole fake laughing thing he just did yeah he was he's comfortable oh my god
he was doing it so much he's doing the fake uncomfortable he was doing this and
like shut up cuz I've told him he knew that story all of those stories I remember
back me up for once did you fake your discomfort on that podcast no very good
Gilbert I don't know what you're saying even I don't think he even remember I
don't remember anything go ahead now it seems they have no holds barred when they
talking about that sort of relationship how do you move past those
insecurities and have that level of trust with each other does it just come
with time thank you for the last six years my name is Earl of time you know
it comes with six years of time it comes with knowing each other in a trust in
this and that okay this has begun beyond you know whatever dreamed it might be now
I will say that we we're two types of people that allow for transparency to be
a good part of a relationship not all relationships would do well with this
type of transparency I think that some things are better left in the past I
don't I think that some people can't think about the past objectively but
rather see it as a constant threat in their present lives so if you're that
type of person who creates vivid images in your mind and likes to replay that
tape over and over again I don't suggest tapping into her past or her tapping
into yours because it might not be a good thing like when I was younger it I was
probably much better off not hearing about my partner's past because I
couldn't handle it it wasn't until I got a little bit older and gave started
gave less shits every day that I started to be like you know what it I don't feel
threatened by it anymore but when I was younger I felt threatened by it so it
you it's a case-by-case situation if that makes any sense this type of
relationship that Bobby and I have might not be the healthy option for another
couple yeah so you just have to gauge it what do you think George I would say
whoever knows the most about you has the most power over you so share a lot of
things with with whoever you want to have the most power over you why would
you want to have anyone why is it a power if you know if you want to like if
you want to like be most intimate with somebody oh you can't let like a
previous previous girlfriends or anybody know more about you than them in a
sense you have to share more with the new whichever person you want to have the
most intimate relationship with yeah and I think that I'm glad that I'm I dated
Bobby you know in my 30s because you know he's been with beautiful bright
talented women now imagine if I knew all of that information and he doesn't speak
badly about them he speaks highly of them and so when imagine me knowing that
type of information in my early 20s I think I would have been very insecure
but when I got older the fact that he did date great women in the past made me
feel good about dating him cuz I'm like look all these beautiful intelligent
women had these relationships when they loved him I can see why and but I
couldn't have done that in my early 20s and I was really insecure and does that
make any sense that makes sense but also do we read does everyone need to know
explicitly what the other like how that person suck your boyfriend's dick I don't
need to know that yeah I think that's a little bit much and I think those you
have to establish what your limits are with that yeah yeah Cindy she she said
after I she wanted Cindy my girlfriend she wanted to see now I'm starting to
believe Colada with the whole uncomfortable thing yeah yeah she thinks
like she was like oh are you she's great she was like oh are you a white
nationalist cuz I went through my whole Facebook of every she wanted every
single girl did anything with all white girls yeah and how did it make her feel
Cindy is such a boss lady if I think about her one ex-boyfriend more two
ex-boyfriends more than one was a black guy so it's really curious and the other
one was as a famous dancer that I looked I was looking I looked up to and they're
like fuck I have to say that there is a you know as when you when you're in your
20s and you you think in your head I have the access in the capability of
dating a white girl which seems at the time being a smaller Asian man to be
winning like it's more it's like a trophy kind of a vibe of like when you
you know when you do first white chick you're like oh fuck man like I'm legit
you know I'm like I'm killing it yeah right but then after your fifth white
girl you're like I need I feel more comfortable with somebody that hands a
little bit of an Asian vibe because there is a when you go to a restaurant or
even socially because I know the collider doesn't look Asian but her mom is
really Asian I really feel like chinky chink you know I mean from the islands
of chink chink right gookie gookie right okay easy my point she had another
choking incident she did my point is that it makes me feel comfortable when her
mom is in my house and there's I there's a relatability familiar like I you know
I have so much fun with her mom like she laughs at everything I do I'll sneak up
behind her scare her right I'll make fun of her accent she'll make fun of my
accent she'll call me faggot and all that stuff or whatever she doesn't know that word I don't know whatever she'll faddy she says faddy
wow Bobby got the wrong word faddy I mean faggot but anyway um I had to eat with my
brother because I haven't seen him in a month um thank you for texting and then
thank you and we're doing this what is this I wanted to remind me of this email
from Elizabeth my help you wanted I wanted I wanted to read this email to
everybody that we got from Elizabeth who's Elizabeth Elizabeth Warren is her
name's Elizabeth okay go ahead in okay title says my husband's addiction hey my
name is Elizabeth from Durham North Carolina I've been with my husband
William Zamudio for seven years we just got married last year on April 28 it will
also be our eight year anniversary we have a two month old who was born on
Valentine's Day I met William in high school and he's a very good guy who just
messes up sometimes he's my best friend a few months ago he started being on his
phone more he wakes up he would wake up every morning 7 to 8 a.m. and stay in
the bathroom quote-unquote using the bathroom for an hour he cannot do
anything without doing it he will do he will sit at home and do it all day he
was doing it before I went into labor to have our daughter he even does it
safely while driving his addiction is tiger belly he watches us he watches you
guys every day all day it doesn't matter what he's doing or if he's seen the
episode before he's completely obsessed I'm pretty sure he loves Bobby more than
the more than me our anniversary is coming up and he would die if he watches
a new podcast with you guys reading this he doesn't know he is such a name he
does hold on he is such a good guy I figured I would give it a try by
emailing you guys thank you for your time Elizabeth here is that the camera
is William Zamudio all right his name is William Zamudio I'm gonna speaking
in tongues it's only a language for you and I will you don't laugh
don't laugh it's for William and I
that's from the spirit world that's from the old forest
that's from the old forest and that's from the Netherlands as well too
for yeah yeah yeah another world I meant another one the Netherlands the
Tether world yeah right and if ever speaking tongues like that again right
and I could connect it to the old spirits and I'm giving somebody a message
you laugh like that dude I will put fucking voodoo on you my friend whoa
Black magic and that's not from the Netherlands. That's not from Louisiana. That's from Louisiana. So here you go, babe
Thank you. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, William. What's his last name? Zemudio and it was
Dude, what is this you do with your head?
That's not a song friend. It's work. It's words
So there we go. The answer no words for it. There we go. I really have to go. So what else we got?
I think that's it but all the ads
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Adviceunhelpful at gmail.com and forever. We'll link to it
Yeah
We'll put a link in the video and also in the description for the podcast and all things Bobby Lee you can go to Bobby live
Dotcom any show to shout out your shows baby shows Bobby. I love it. Well, it can't be improv
Well before that you have he has Cincinnati, Ohio coming up. We're in
Cincinnati, Ohio and
Tempe improv
In another world in another world, and I think that you're going to the Sacramento punchline soon, too
Go to Bobby Lee live.com. No, I'm not I canceled that one. Oh, okay. So sorry about that guys
Uh, you can fall. I'm sorry. I can't do it here at here first and uh, Lila
Where can we follow you at Calamity K and George working people? I guess support your
You and white nights. Can I say it the way he does it? Yeah, George underscore Kimmel. Ah
That was good. And uh, you can follow me at Yang gang 2020, baby
Is that real? No, okay, but I was like what's pretty ingenious actually maybe who knows he's been doing everyone else's podcast
All right, guys. Have a good night. Oh
Oh
Hey
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