TigerBelly - Episode 198: Mo Collins, Show Me Your Meatholes

Episode Date: June 12, 2019

Bobby is glitter. Mo swims with mermaids. Khalyla seeks the shunk. We talk little glimpses of poo, hat tricks, and 2nd amendment tits.Get bonus premium episodes every week: https://patre...on.com/tigerbellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. What are we doing here? I was waiting for a while. What is the point? Bobby, I've got... I know, I know, ready go. Five, four, three, two, one. It was a feeling.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Sorry to do it again. Five, four, three, two, one. I woke up just now. It's five o'clock. What time is it? 5 p.m. And I just woke up because I was supposed to be woke up at one
Starting point is 00:01:01 and I woke up at one and then I was supposed to go to that A.P.A. to do that pitch. Oh no, now you're going to give yourself away. And I just couldn't get myself to do it. So I woke up just now and the reason why I woke up though is because we have to do this podcast
Starting point is 00:01:18 and it's one of my favorite people, I guess. That's the guesting, but I swear to fucking God, man, it's like you're on my last nerve. I don't care that you're a woman. She's doing pitch, smells and magic bubbles and stuff. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Don't do fart.
Starting point is 00:01:41 That's dumb. You're a fucking grown adult. Now I'm going to introduce everyone in the room. We've got George. You're cackling, right? It's fucking on my last thing, man. You. Yes, sir.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Love it. Love it. You have a lot of explaining to do. You got you, my girlfriend, and then we got our guest. Now my guest, okay, is I was on a TV program, television program, government sponsored,
Starting point is 00:02:17 called Matt TV. And when I first got on, there was like this, all these older cast members that came on were there, like Mike McDonald and all these people. What do you mean by older? Like just. They're a thousand years of existence.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Yeah. All right, except for her. But anything. And so Will Sasso was there. He was super nice to me, but this next young lady, you know, was so nice to me. And, you know, it's great.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Yeah, she really is. She's a wonderful human being. She's seen me do a lot of weird things, you know. This is during when I was, didn't know who I was. Slap King was a Slap Prince. Slap Prince was a Slap Baby. And the baby was born.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Why is that reverse order? I have no idea. Okay. But you know what, you know what, Gilbert, you know that I go on these little rants and stuff. And you should just accept it. You guys, how about a round of applause for my old friend, who's here, Mo Collins.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Give her a round of applause. Namaste. That was a terrible one. Great, right? Great, right? That was a horrible start. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:45 No, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding. Now, when did I see you last? Last? When last I saw Bobby Lee, we did Dream Corps together. We did Dream Corps together. We had the titties. I was, I had my face in your teddy.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I hadn't seen you before that for many long times. Many years. Yeah. Yeah, like. Why? Well, I think we're both ones to isolate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Yeah, we're going to isolate. Yeah. And I would venture to say that you probably do that more than me. You think that I isolate more than you? I do. That's interesting. I do think that. That's not a diss.
Starting point is 00:04:25 I'm not accepting it. Oh, okay. I don't accept what you're saying. Okay. Because there were a couple texts I sent you that I never got a return on. Oh, well, that now you know that that's being, that's me being me. You know what I mean? I isolate.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Yeah, I'll go back to you. Even through text. Even through text, you were isolating. I was reaching out from my couch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Yeah. And Mo. Now, when I got on mad TV, you were there. Did I? I did two seasons with you. You're asking me how many seasons? Yeah. No, I did with you specifically.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Oh, I came on halfway during a season. I think you did another year after that. I went through. Oh, God, I don't even remember what seasons. Uh, middle of tooth, middle of, wow. Season four, maybe fall. 1998. Four, five, six, seven, eight.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Middle of nine I left. Oh, middle of nine. That was it. And I started in seven. Okay. The seventh. So I did a couple of years with you. Yeah, that was fun.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Two and a half. Those were great years. Yes, they were. And I relapsed. I was 12 years sober. I relapsed. We were in Vegas and what did I do in Vegas? Do you really want me to say it?
Starting point is 00:05:42 Yeah, go and say it. Oh, wow. Can we set it up? Well, we go to Vegas with, I think Baron Holtz was there for sure. There was a bunch of people. A bunch of people. Tallarico. Tallarico was there.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Yeah. The gang. That was fun. Oh my gosh. What did I do? What did I do? What did you do? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Which, which moment? In the Bellagio. In the Bellagio, in the hotel room? Wherever. Okay. What did I do? Let's take, let's take the folks to the hotel room. Room packed with our crew.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Yeah. It must have been, I don't know, at least 10 people. Maybe more. Yeah. Bobby had brought along a, a, a, a, a pal. If you will. He, I believe, flew her in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Specifically. You remember her. And paid her to do so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perhaps. Yeah, yeah. Lovely gal. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Um, what I remember is I myself was sitting at one point. Now this, it was a crazy time. Yeah. I'm sitting up on the bed. Uh-huh. And, uh-huh. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:06:51 It really comes back to the, to the brain, the visual. Bobby comes out of the bathroom, fully naked, like trying to pull off a hat trick. He's rubbing his belly with one hand and the other hand was jerking his wings. Hey. Hey. My room. My, my room. So he's, he's doing, you know, that, that's sort of like where people do where they tap
Starting point is 00:07:17 there. It sounds, you know what this sounds like. But he was doing this. Which is very hard to do. Well, that was the first time I had ever done ecstasy. And so I was drinking and then ecstasy and it really like, if, I mean, when you, when you're in your thirties and you hear about this drug and people, especially when you're sober in your thirties and people go, and then when you relapse and you finally do it,
Starting point is 00:07:41 it just kind of hit me in a weird way. Do you, do you remember? Do you remember even before this moment, flying to Vegas? I think it was that trip. Yeah. We sat next to each other on the plane before takeoff. You pull out a baggie, thank God it was a baggie loaded with pills. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Like I had never, it was, it looked like, you know, children's toys candy. It was a bag of adult candy and I panicked because you know, I'm a good Irish Catholic girl from Minnesota. You're wild. I've had some. You're fucking. I've had some moments. It's not even moments.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Just let's just get this real out there. Okay. Wow. I've had. You're wild. Done some things. All right. So go ahead.
Starting point is 00:08:33 But I, I panic because I'm just thinking the stewardess is going to come along. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what happens. Did you eat some? No. You never ate any of my pills? No.
Starting point is 00:08:45 I didn't. No. I definitely didn't. I was a drinker. Did you ask? I was a drinker. That was my. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even have to panic. And, and then they started swinging all over. Do you know what I mean? Like, he's like, like, Bobby, no, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:02 I took this Vegas trip, you know, partly to like get away from being a mother. Yeah. I had a little child back at home and here I am, Bobby. No. Yeah. Put your pills away, Bobby. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:18 And you know, and that was intense. I'll tell you another story of a mow. Then she's going to bring up these things, right? Yeah, there's like a TCA party for you know at the Mondrian was at the Mondrian. How dare you what wouldn't be how dare you you did it Yeah, you did it. I did dare you how dare me Right This is anyway, this is no it's just like, you know at a TCA party right now
Starting point is 00:09:44 You're you have everyone's in ballroom gowns and you know the executives are there and people just have this woman She's in a ballroom gown. She's in the pool. Okay. Love it. No one's in the pool Oh, no, that's not true. Well, who went awesome? The mermaids were in the pool the actor. Yeah, you know hot parties They'll hire. Oh, they were mermaids. Which is that's why I went in I don't do things without good reason That's valid. That's valid. Yeah, it was the big Fox party and I just heels and all crazy that night just boom Right down into the pool and just swimming floating and I yeah, then I threw up in the Limo on the way home. Did you really going up and over Laurel? Oh, yeah, I did and
Starting point is 00:10:32 Then the next day or the Monday, whatever I got called into the office So because I had to do damage control. Yeah on me. Oh, really? Yeah, you were wild that night Yeah That is that still is seems like a pretty natural thing to do right when you're drinking. Yeah, here's another thing I know about yeah, not the best idea Here's what here's why you do something like part of you thinks and at least in that crazy brain is like well I'm on the sketch comedy show. I'm supposed to be crazy. We can get away with this stuff. Yeah, right? Mm-hmm Yeah, I know. No, you can't it's it's it's it was weird being on that show because it it felt like
Starting point is 00:11:16 Like it was more community theater like it just felt like Just we weren't like we weren't on a show almost because Because Fox didn't yes that it's also just you just you know even on the streets It seemed you know, I think in retrospect, you know, it was a good thing, but at the time I Just didn't feel like You know no because I didn't support as we were as we called it the bastard child of Fox. Um, we didn't We didn't hear from them, which was also great great Yeah, we didn't hear from them too much so we could do what we wanted to do
Starting point is 00:11:51 Yeah, but yeah, we kind of were left to our own devices there But here's here's a testament to what we did do Mm-hmm. There are people that are still diehard fans and think about where We would be if YouTube and all that had been around and Twitter and everything I mean because look we were the first ones to do the the music parodies the right way before yeah, and so it's like all of that stuff would have been posted and Sadly, the only thing that's out there now is what some folks managed to get on the VHS or whatever and get it up on YouTube
Starting point is 00:12:26 Yeah, are I mean they're they're mega hits out there. Yeah still No, I'm not saying that you know, I'm not saying that it was I was that I was embarrassed to be on the show I mean like that. No, I Loved that. It's a big chunk of my life. I was like, yeah eight years of let's get more medical school or something You know like you just the whole you know, and I met that was my introduction to The comedy on in any level on television or on the level really and so I think what's cool Is that I don't think maybe you understand the international appeal of it because all my family in the Philippines? They're all my friends that know you they know you from mad TV. Yeah, because it was on there. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:13:08 You know, that's kind of cool that it you know, you don't you think you're doing something so small But well, it's at Hollywood Center Studios. Were you there the whole time? No, you were over here came on season four All right, so I was over. What is it Bronson Bronson? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah First yeah, no when you how do you did you how did it happen to you? Did they just go you should go right to testing or did you audition a thousand times testing was my sixth audition? Yeah, because I did like nine. Did you really? Yeah, and people don't believe me when but I go I wonder twice to three times a week as if yeah, I was taking a class job. Yeah, it was intense. Yeah and I remember I
Starting point is 00:13:50 Guess it would have been the fifth audition Where they're like sent me home and I I went home and cried so hard because I'm like they made a mistake They've made a mistake They weren't supposed to send me home I was thinking they had just seen enough from all right, right, right, right, right, you know Yeah, and then I got the call to come test Wow But they let sent you home because they you know what it was one of those situations were like we don't want we want They're so bad. We don't want to ruin it. So just let us send her home
Starting point is 00:14:18 Well, I done it, you know how you did the same thing over and over until finally I remember I think it was that fifth one where you had to do impressions. Oh, yeah, right, right and David Salsman's in the room. Yeah, and you know, he's like you do I think you had to do three Yeah, and I did whatever. I think I had maybe four or something, but I did them and he goes you got anything else Oh Yeah, you got anything else. It's like You cock-sacker we prepare for but then I but I yeah, I'm like, yeah, I yeah, I got something else Oh, wow, what do you want me to do? That's my something else
Starting point is 00:14:55 You tell me what to do and I'll do it. Wow. And so like he of course throws out Madonna Yeah, so I writhed all over the floor and yeah, yeah Yeah Yeah, I just I don't even remember what else but I just took, you know, like Took whatever they gave me and gave them something. Yeah, just to show that I'm a player. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you know But yeah, I just remember Being scared all the time at the auditions. Yeah, just being frightened the whole time at the show too
Starting point is 00:15:29 But then but you know, here's the thing though also thinking Actually in the room when I'm actually doing it For some reason it didn't That was fine. I mean, obviously if that if I that if I let that affect me I wouldn't have forgotten it. Yeah, but for some reason I walked in it and went, okay I feel comfortable and I know that I'm giving something different when it's a bunch of white dudes Not being real a couple black guys a bunch of white dudes and be but being Asian you have the confidence in that situation because you go I'm the only one
Starting point is 00:16:05 Here like this. Yeah, and this is gonna be as an asset This is gonna help me get it. Well, especially because it was a very diverse shot. Right. Yeah. Yeah for this for the time At least I would say I mean you name another Asian guy that's ever been on a sketch show after that never Holy cow Bobby. Are you it? No, I'm not saying that they're I'm not saying that I'll be it but I'm just saying there was Even Park did it from living in them color for like a season very short Yes, Steven is is it and Fred Armisen says he's 16 Japanese Hold on a second history of SNL. There's no Asian. Holy shit. You are kidding me. Yeah, do you believe that SNL? Has never had an Asian cast member. Wow. We think about that though. Think about how
Starting point is 00:16:59 All those years not not one I still think that's why mad TV was ahead of its time Yeah, yeah way more diverse more relatable just the overall more diverse having a diverse cast and writers gives you The platform then to to do stuff and to go where other shows can't go because they can't you know I mean, I was even able to play a snow snowflake, you know, which was like the white woman that talks black I Mean it was written by Davon Shepard. Yeah, I loved it so much Yeah, but so we were able to do so much more be because we really were that melting pot that you know, yeah Yeah, and it's um
Starting point is 00:17:49 It because I also imagine like I had never really done anything like no acting classes really or anything like that and Never been on television. So when you're like That's your first real introduction to it. Yeah, you're learn trying to learn Everything wait before you auditioned you what you came into the seventh season. Did you watch it religiously? No But I remember waiting tables in La Jolla and I remember Megan Lee The lady that owns my restaurant say when Matt TV first came out There's a show Matt TV. Oh, I watch it more than SNL or whatever, right and I remember her distinctly saying that so that when I was when I got the show I went down there to thank her for hiring me as a waiter
Starting point is 00:18:36 Oh, that's nice, but because she liked Matt TV, but um, yeah, but that that show it was everything and also it was also hell for me, but um, yeah, but I met you and you were so nice to me and you Alex Borstein and Will were the only three people that really kind of like Set stuff past. Hello You know like how how are you doing? You know that is I have to say that is
Starting point is 00:19:08 Appalling to me why? Because I don't Well, I certainly don't want to think Badly of the people that were like you don't have to remember when I came on there was two lawsuits going on. No, there was you're right Yeah, there was yeah, there's a bunch of lawsuits going on. Yeah, and then so crazy people You could tell people you walk in a room You could tell that people didn't like certain people, but not just like It was like an obvious uncomfortable feeling of like
Starting point is 00:19:41 Something's going on here. That's wrong. And then no and when you're new and no one's talking to you. Oh my gosh You all you you've perceived it as as your it's your fault Like all of you know all of it, right? And you show up and you're like, this is my reality I did this which is crazy. Yeah, you know, but you know, it's like I can see that and you know, I do have a need to make people feel comfortable. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, and so it's like any new person that came in I like to think that I reached out you were so nice, you know, too because It's hard to come into
Starting point is 00:20:18 a situation like that and we were so Intense and we were a family Like each other or lump each other Do you know what I mean? It's like it was an intense environment to come into and so I always wanted to Be like, it's okay. You're like come on in and play. Yeah, you know, but you know, it shows you people though, right? It's like Will Sasso too was nice. Yeah, and you're the You're the only one aside from Will that's done this podcast
Starting point is 00:20:50 Jordan and no, but aside from that later. Yeah, in fact when I that oh Jordan is later It's way later. Yeah in that class of wow. You're the only two right so that she says a lot. Yeah. Yeah Well, uh, no, it isn't and I if I think about uh, who? Like who who am I still in contact with? Yeah, I can tell you it's uh, It's it's limited. Yeah, you know, Deborah Wilson and I have remained lovers sisters. I got to get her on this Yes I gotta get her on this. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:23 She should be crazy. You know, Will Sasso, Will Forever. Was Aries already on the show? Yeah, Aries was on the show. Aries and I are in contact. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like... I probably, we can edit this out if we want.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Did you see what he wrote about you last week? No, what'd he say? He wrote something. He wanted an attire rate about how you were a big fucking coward and how you weren't real and there's nobody real in the industry and he just went on a... What the fuck is that?
Starting point is 00:21:52 I think someone asked Aries also on... Like, oh yeah, like... Like, hey, is it gonna be on Tiger Balan? He's like, that motherfucker won't return my tax or call. Yeah, it's like... But here's the fuck, I mean. Have you been on his podcast? No.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Touche. Does he have one? Yes. Yeah. So, there you go. But that's just... Here's the thing, all right. He asked to do mine 10 times in a row in one day, right?
Starting point is 00:22:18 Yeah. So I was just like, dude, I have a schedule. We only do it once a week, you know? Yeah. And then he's like, bump me for these other people. And then I went... That kind of like made me more defensive. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:35 And then... So he turned around and wrote that. But I found it so funny, it made that... Oh, man. It makes me laugh so good. It's juicy. Why are people so mean? I figured you'd enjoy that today.
Starting point is 00:22:47 I did enjoy it. I did enjoy that. It's so much easier to be kind. I know. But here's the thing with you, and I say this openly. I don't... You're literally one of the funniest people I've ever seen in my life. He does say that a lot.
Starting point is 00:23:05 In fact, a lot on this podcast. Yeah. You... Pavi, that's so nice. Thank you. I'm legitimately talented. Like, you know, when you watch certain people, even stand-ups, they go, you go, the writing's good, or, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:20 but sometimes I'll look at somebody and go, wow, that person is legitimately talented. You know, I don't throw that out a lot, but that's one. Do you have a positive memory of Pavi or was it just the drug-laced debauchery? Oh, I have... I want to know what he was like in his 30s because I only know him in his 40s
Starting point is 00:23:41 and he seems a little bit more settled. And I have this sick curiosity for how I wonder and I imagine if I would have gotten along with him at that age. Pavi was lovely. We would sit outside the building. Yeah. We would sit outside the building, like, just between whatever, rehearsals or whatever, and have a cigarette.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yeah. Sometimes, you know, and just sit down there. And we would just have life conversations. You know, I would... I remember you feeling insecure and worried about it and talking to you and telling you it's going to be all right. You know, I remember a time just before stepping out onto stage
Starting point is 00:24:20 at one of the live shows and you were backstage with me and you were freaking out. Like, right behind the door, we were about to enter. You know, and I was just... I remember that moment very vividly, you know, that I was just like, Pavi, you lucky son of a bitch. You get to go out there and play in front of these people with me.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, let's just go out and have fun. That's all you have to do. Right. That's not hard. That's just abandoning yourself to what's good for you. You know, so we had a lot of conversations. We had a lot of really sweet conversations.
Starting point is 00:25:02 You know, it's like... It isn't all the crazy that, you know, I let in with. It wasn't... It really wasn't that, you know. No, we've had dinners and all that. We used to go after lives. We used to go to that one French place on Las Palmas. What's that place called? La Poubelle.
Starting point is 00:25:21 No, something like that. La Poubelle on Franklin. No, there was one over there that we used to go after live. But it was fun. And then everyone would go, like, you know, all the writers and producers and also some friends, family, whatever. It was a fun night. But this one... Here's why I can say that, though,
Starting point is 00:25:44 is because, you know, when you're sitting there and you're watching, like, her play Lorraine or whatever, and then they do a pass where it's, like, all improvised or do what you want to do. And just how crazy, like... Just in terms of adding information that quickly, you know, in a live environment with the cameras on, and you're sitting there Indian-style going,
Starting point is 00:26:09 wow, I've never, you know what I mean? I didn't grow up with sketch, you know? But you're learning so fast and you're trying to absorb everything, right? And then it's just, like, watching someone like that. You go, holy fuck, like, that was insane. You know, like, Keegan would do that, too. Keegan Keyes would do Coach Hines and then do a take where he just, the whole thing is completely and utterly different.
Starting point is 00:26:38 But also, like, somebody had written it. Where, like, it took a week and wrote it, but it wasn't, it was just all improvised, and you just kind of go, oh, fuck, I should go home. What am I doing, you know what I mean? What the fuck am I doing here? But, yeah. But anyway, and then so, when she was doing Dream Corps,
Starting point is 00:27:00 that was one of the say, they try to sell me, right? Because I know Nick, Nick's done this podcast before, yeah. And he's like, Mo, Mo did our show. So I did it. And then when I was on doing it and they go, we're doing another episode in a week and Mo will be here. I go, write me into it. I wasn't supposed to be in it.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I go, write me into that thing. And they go, you want to come back? I go, yeah, you don't have to give me lines. I'll just show up. And so I came and just to work with you. You were, you were my glitter that day. You're glitter. You're glitter.
Starting point is 00:27:33 You're glitter. Really, you were my glitter that day. You know what I mean? Yeah, why? Well, because, why, needy. Why am I your glitter? So needy, that hasn't changed. Here we go again.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Pick up my pocket slaw. Here we go, Bobby. Yeah. I would throw you on my back and take you anywhere you need to go and you know that. I love you so much. I love you so much. And then she now, I'll tell you, so this last year,
Starting point is 00:28:03 I've been following on Instagram and I was able to follow the shit she's doing. And she is on something that I think is incredible. Tell them what you're on. Good segue. I knew what it is. It's called Fear of the Walking Dead. Boom.
Starting point is 00:28:19 You got it, right? That's right. Yeah, exactly what it's called. It's a follow up to the Walking Dead, obviously, right? And Mo is actually like getting a lot of screen time and becoming a regular on that fucking thing. It's an incredible congratulations. Thank you, Bobby.
Starting point is 00:28:37 It's been since mad TV that I actually had a TV family. Wow, that's incredible. It's been that long. You know, I was telling just people, not specific things, but I was thinking about you since I've worked with you on Dream Corps. And you told me some things that were just so mind-boggling to me.
Starting point is 00:28:58 But because, like I said, when you're watching something like live and you're seeing a female, not that all, I mean, we're all this, you know, I'm gender neutral. Yeah, genderal. I'm genderal. I'm genderal. Yeah, that's the new one.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, the new one. Get it out there. Who's on that? That's the hashtag, genderal. But you know, she's also like, you know, a white chick, right, and you're watching somebody at that level doing that, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:29:31 It's just like, anyway. Well, were you a mom already when you were on MAD TV? Yeah. My son, when I started on MAD TV, he was three. Oh, whoa. And yeah, I was the only one with a kid, and they treated him very well. He was like a little mascot.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Did you get the show when you were in Minnesota? No, I got it the first year I moved out to Illinois. Oh, that you moved out, right, right. That's what it was. Because you were in Minnesota, right? Yeah. And then you had this kid. I had this kid.
Starting point is 00:30:01 It came out of me. You had big hands. Can I call him big hands or no? Well, that's what you always call him. Yeah, call him, yeah. So big hands was our ex-husband. Oh, OK, gotcha. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Well, let's not say her name. And then you just moved out to LA and then got MAD that first year. Yeah. Damn, crazy. I know, but you take those leaps of faith. That's your reward, I swear. I swear it works.
Starting point is 00:30:25 When you take the leaps of faith, you have to jump, though. You've got to jump. You can't just sit there. What were you doing before that in Minnesota? Acting. But it became where there's not that much to do up there. Love a place to live. I had my family supporting.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Helping with my son and all of that was so wonderful. But it just started to look like the best choice I could make as a mother would be to go for my dreams. It's like, how can I truly lead by example? If my example is just being a little too complacent and staying here for him. So I feel like that I wish a lot more people would think that way because I think that there is a fear in raising
Starting point is 00:31:17 a really young child and then really going after something that big. Especially when you have a three-year-old. And I even think about my own sister and where she's at with her really young kids. And a lot of times she tells herself, like, oh, I can't. I cannot even give life to that idea because I have such young kids.
Starting point is 00:31:37 And so it's so amazing that you had the opposite thought and said, you know what? Fuck it, this is what I have to do. Yeah, maybe I was covering up for some selfish strain in me. I don't know, but I knew I had to do it. And I also believed it would be good for him if I did that. You're right. Because Colin, though, that's your son's name, Colin.
Starting point is 00:32:02 He's also, from what I remember, just a super sweet kid. Yeah, I remember having fun with him. You guys always talking music because my son is also a musician for a while, drummer. You guys got along. He loves him. I loved him. He was a good kid, a really good kid.
Starting point is 00:32:19 He's at UCLA now. That's incredible. What do you think about the whole USC scandal and Lori Loughlin and half a million dollars pretending that her kids did? I feel so terrible for their kids. I feel terrible for their kids. I look at my son, and he did all of it himself.
Starting point is 00:32:43 And part of that took me kicking him out at 18. I did, a little hard love there. He treated me poorly, and he knew it, and I kicked him out. And he got out there and went, oh, you got to do something out here. You can't just run amok. And so he got himself into community college. And then he went, OK, I'm going to start focusing on something.
Starting point is 00:33:05 He's going to UCLA for free. He got himself scholarships. And he also, and I'm going to say this for folks out there who are in that phase, be it yourself or a parent, you know where there's a lot of money to be found for grants? Non-traditional students. You know what a non-traditional student is? One of the things is a student that
Starting point is 00:33:29 does not go directly from high school to a four-year program. So there's all this money that nobody's snapping up. I also don't see this urgency. That's cool. Bobby is lost in class. No, I am. He's going to go back to school. I think it's cool.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I can even tell you what you said. No, you got all your, all this, ah! But your arms were closed off. I could hear your butt clenching in the chair. Like you're starting to see the fake. No, no, no, what you said, what you said was cool. What you said I wasn't thinking that there's a bunch of money in that thing. No, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:34:01 But isn't that cool? Yeah, it's cool. Real nice. But I also don't understand this urgency to immediately hop into a four-year university. I think it's a wrong idea. I think community college. Unless you really know. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:34:11 But also, I think that the community college experience is so, you have smaller classroom sizes. I think that teachers, my experience at least, was way better than going to university. Yeah. And I tell my niece now, I'm like, look, there's no urgency for that. I think a lot of it is, you know, having to, people think that there's pride in saying you immediately got into a big school. And I'm like, I fucking 17, 18, that's not, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:33 You got there and you go, what are you doing? I don't know. I don't know. I drink a lot. Yeah. They don't know. Taking the same exact classes for the first two years. I had a year after high school, just fucking off, playing with the band, trying all sorts
Starting point is 00:34:45 of things, you know. And a year after that, then, is when he started in at community college. But look, the Europeans do it, don't they? Don't they take like a year afterwards and just travel? Yeah. Europe. Okay. What should we talk about?
Starting point is 00:34:59 Lotion or something? Gel? What do you think, Bobby? What would be comfortable for you? So what, okay. The other show in the year of the walking, is it, I mean, obviously it's different than the, because you were in the other show, NBC show, Parks and Rec. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:21 That's so funny. And your, how many episodes of that did you do? 19 or 20. Yeah. That's a lot. It's not a lot. It's really actually not a lot. I would do one or two a season of the seven seasons.
Starting point is 00:35:33 That's it. Would you ever work with Kirk Fox? I know who he is. Yeah. From stand up. Yeah. Oh yeah. From stand up.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Yeah. Yeah. He's funny. Yeah, he's very good. Oh. What was that? He's very good. You want to talk about lotion?
Starting point is 00:35:52 What's going on? What do I do? I don't know. Why did you make a face when I said, it was so weird. It was funny. It was weird, right? That was me. That was on me.
Starting point is 00:36:02 What were you doing? I don't know what I was doing. Oh my God. What are you doing? What were you trying to reflect? I don't know why, because Kirk Fox isn't traditionally funny. Yeah. He's a good joke writer.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Yeah, I know. I marvel at that. When you said that, he is super funny, but he's not like you funny or Crystalia funny. But that's probably why I sparked him, because I find what he does so difficult. I cannot sit and write a joke. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I cannot do that.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Any attempts at that that I did bring up to the stand-up stage, those failed. And then when I started to pick myself up in those moments, that's when the shit got good and people were laughing. Wow. Yeah. I'm not a joke writer. I can't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:52 I'm more of a performer myself. Me too. Me too. But in many ways, where you see someone like Jordan Peele, who has both can write and perform. Because I remember going, like walking by Dick Blasucci's office at Matt TV and watching like Ike and Nicole Parker or Jordan, they're just slaving away writing in these rooms. And I remember walking by the offices thinking to myself, God, I wish I couldn't traditionally do that.
Starting point is 00:37:22 And I attempted to, like people sat down with me and go, this is how you put it. But I just didn't, you know, and I don't know, maybe it's because I was a drug addict. I don't know what happened. But you could do it. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, I did shoot my own shit on Mad that they, they aired. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:40 That's my way of doing it. But still. Yeah. I'm the same. I'm a bit like you. It's like, I can go home and write a sketch, but I also didn't want to. I wanted to go home and be mom, you know, but I'd wrote some, but not a lot. We had great writers.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Why do I need writers? We did have great writers. But now showing up to this thing, though, must just feel insane. Fear of the Walking Dead. Yeah. It's the greatest playground. Yeah. It is the best playground ever.
Starting point is 00:38:08 It is. Because you know what it is? Remember when you're a kid and you'd play so fucking hard, you'd play so seriously, you know, like, you know what? One of my favorite things was the handgun, right? Holding your hand. Like, I know. I got it.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. Guns. I got it.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Got it. Got it. And you put your hand into the shape of a gun. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, really? I was like, damn, okay.
Starting point is 00:38:40 And all right. Let me show you my tattoo. Second amendment. It's like, these tits are second amendments, but that's what's so great about it. And the environment supports that so much because you are out there in the country or whatever it is and you do have the walkers coming at you and you really do get into it. It really does get scary at times and you just, it's so intense and all you have to do when the camera goes on is play really seriously and hard like you did when you were
Starting point is 00:39:20 eight. Wow. I love it so much. Yeah. And it's also, you know, Mo was saying that earlier, I mean, I guess during Dream Corps I didn't say it today, but we were talking about at Dream Corps, you know, that's what you want. I mean, you know, you get mad TV and every once in a while you just want to be able to
Starting point is 00:39:42 get, you know, something right. You want to be able to get a little piece of whatever the pie is out there. I'm not asking for a big slice. I'm just, you know, a little sliver, a little taste. Right. Yeah. And it's something like this is so good for you. It's so good for me.
Starting point is 00:39:59 This thing is, this thing, this doing the show is just in always saving my life. Do you know what I mean? Not just career and I actually don't even know if it is saving my career. I really am not paying too much attention to the numbers. I don't care. I'm so fucking happy working. Yeah. That's all I want is work.
Starting point is 00:40:20 I love, I just want to work and I want to work on shows that I give a shit about and I totally give a shit about this show because it is, it's about humanity and how we survive. It's like, oh, that's the stuff. Yeah. That is the very deal. And now, you know, it's like in my fifties, that's what I want to, that's what I want to spend my time doing. You know, the real shit.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Incredible. How do we do this human thing? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so hard and yet it could be so easy. I don't know. But how fun is it to be on something that you know that someone's watching it? All over the world.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Right. Right. I've been in so many things where you just show up and you go, no one's watching this. Yes. You really, you, and no one did. Yeah. There's a couple of things that I've done where no one's seen it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Oh, absolutely. Right. Most of what I've done in the last 10 years. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah. So when you, when you're on something that you know people are going to watch, it just feels completely different.
Starting point is 00:41:21 It does. Yeah. It does. It does. And knowing they're all over the world too is so cool. Now, since you're a sort of an expert in zombie apocalypse sort of world, I want to, I want to know what your assessment is or your prediction is if Bobby, Bobby's survival rate at an, at an, in an apocalyptic situation involving zombies.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Gotcha. Here's, here's how I think it would go down for Bobby Lee. Okay. And could I just say, I'm going to add my eyes closed. I know your eyes are closed. The reason why my eyes are closed is because I don't want to hear it with your eyes. I don't want to hear it with my eyes. I want to hear it with my mind.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Okay. But I want you to say, I want you to just go easy and know that I'm sensitive. Oh, for God's sake. So please move on slowly. What are his strengths and what are his weaknesses? Here's, here's what he would have to rely on. Easy. No, this is, this is good stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:19 Go ahead. Okay. Um, I don't know that you're naturally, um, one to be the first in line, right? What? A leader, you mean naturally? Yeah. I don't think you're necessarily the one that's going to run up and, and protect your tribe. Correct.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Okay. All right. I know where you're going. I know where you're going. Good thing. We had our defenses after. Yeah. I'm closing my eyes again because that means it's good.
Starting point is 00:42:46 I'm closing my eyes again. I'm going to be around for a bit, um, because you're lovable and, uh, so the other people in your tribe would want to and do anything to protect you. There it is. That's what you want to, but that's whatever it is to stay alive, right? Yeah. And if that's it, if it's recognizing, no, no, no, no, I want to ask you, am I going to be good to the tribe?
Starting point is 00:43:15 Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's the community better off with me there. Or is he, or is he a rat? Or am I a rat? You think I would fuck people over to survive? Oh, I don't. Thank you. I don't think you've seen, but see, that's the other reason that you're going to be protected. You're going to be shielded because that's, that is currency in the apocalypse.
Starting point is 00:43:34 That is loyalty is currency currency. Yeah. Get the word right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what I was really concerning to me was, um, no, not about you actually.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Oh my God. Because I was like, cause you know, like the show is going on about how I'm going to die in the apocalypse again. Oh yeah. I'm going to die. But that's, that's, I'm not a professional mo is, um, I just think he can't run past 11 seconds. So I didn't think I could either until I got on this show.
Starting point is 00:44:05 There we go. Thank you. So I mean, there's, there's hope for Bobby in the apocalypse that he's, he would actually, he would actually find things in himself that he didn't even know that he had. Now, do you think good people last longer? Uh, define good in the apocalypse. I mean, because that's the thing. Do people who are generous, kind and with, without ability to manipulate?
Starting point is 00:44:34 Can they survive in the apocalypse? Or do you need to be manipulative and a little bit strategic and a little dog? It's not enough to be kind. That's right. It's just not enough. You know, that, that helps in your, your smaller core group, your, you know, your, your nucleus. But then there's this broader world and it's just, you can't, you know, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:44:58 Be nice to a walker that's coming up like, Oh, I bet you're real pretty when you're alive. I can see that that Laos is one day really lovely. I can see why you got it. You know, but kindness, it's, it's, um, a lovely thing, but it's not going to save you. It's, uh, oh man, I should have been throwing cliches. That's how you communicate here. I didn't know that was such a, no one's ever, what's your clique in my head on that?
Starting point is 00:45:25 Oh boy. Oh boy. That's great. But, but that, but I mean, that's the way I learned that on mad TV, do you know what I mean? How do we keep him with the conversation? You know, you did great. No, but, um, you know, my Minnesota nice cause that's a thing, Minnesota nice on bazillion
Starting point is 00:45:48 t-shirts up there. Um, and it's true. People from Minnesota in general are very nice and that does not serve you, you know, always. Like I, I used to have to go into, I wasn't good at asserting myself on the show because it, uh, I felt unkind doing it. I didn't want to be a bitch. Um, and at the same time, it's like there were things happening sometimes that I didn't
Starting point is 00:46:15 think were right, you know, uh, as far as my path on the show. And so I would, um, but when I would get mad, my tendency when I, in confrontation is to cry and I didn't want to cry. Do you know what I mean? I did sometimes, but I didn't want to. So I'd go into Dick Basucci's office and instead of the usual, which had started where I would get mad and cry, I got rid of that method and I would, all I'd have to do is go in and tap my foot down and, and then we'd bust out laughing cause that was me putting
Starting point is 00:46:47 my foot down, literally, like we'd laugh about it and then it opened up the door for me to just talk about the thing and not, um, you know, it was just a, a method, but yes. Can you bring his name up? Um, and, and I just want, I've never really ever talked about Dick Basucci, but I want to say that, um, what a blessing it was to have him as my boss. I'm so glad you went that route cause I feel the same. He's one of the kindest men I've ever, I love him so much. He's so good to me.
Starting point is 00:47:23 He's fair. Yep. And, um, the one night I remember when I was on the chopping block and I did one line Christian Yamaguchi or something, some sort of skater, whatever name is, so I mean the silver like fucking sequence dress and I have a roller skates on and I'm just going to skateboard into a scene with Adam Corolla and Jimmy Kimmel. Okay. And so I just, I skated in, I, I sit the line as funniest as I could and I got a huge laugh.
Starting point is 00:47:58 It was from a live audience and said, I remember Dick live, you turning around to the writers and go, right for him. He's funny. Him screaming. I can just hear him say that too. Yes. Absolute. And I remember skating away, right, going, you know, me feeling really good about myself
Starting point is 00:48:18 in that very moment because I was drowning on that show, you know, and that was the night where I went, I think Dick might like me, you know, I like him. Yeah, I, I hold a very special place in my heart for him. Yeah. And I don't understand why people would even have a bad thing to say because at the end of the day, he's not like your typical sure runners where I've had, I've seen executive producers that were made differently. He's a little bit more non-confrontational, you know, and to me that was also something
Starting point is 00:48:50 that was not that great about him because, you know, you could hold resentments toward him or whatever, but, um, but at the end of the day, you can tell that he was a sweet man. So sweet. Yeah. And so, and he's got a job that's like, I can't only imagine. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:49:08 Yeah. Totally. It's so sweet that you're here. You know, and. It's okay. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I mean, I really mean this.
Starting point is 00:49:19 I do too. I love you, but I'm just, I'm just wondering, let's be clear about this. Okay. Oh, boy, this is nice. Shut the fuck up, lady. I'll rip your eyes off. Lady. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Next, it's white lady. That, uh, and I know, you know, you know what you are, and you can't fucking sleep through it. Full of color on the inside, you live through it and own up, own up to it. What did I do? I did. I just said, I'm a white lady full of color. I know.
Starting point is 00:49:50 I know. Especially when you come up with something like that. I can't. I don't know. I don't know cliche. I don't know cliche. Fuck you, George. Fuck you, man.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Right. Looking for support. All right. So what are we doing at time? We got a couple of patrons. But what do we have time though? Hour about an hour. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Yeah. Now we have Patreon. What? Question. Fan questions. And then we don't, we're not doing unhelpful advice. We have one unhelpful advice. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:14 So just answer if you can. Uh, this is from our friend, Sean Thayer. My God, Mo Collins, I grew up in a cult, a real cult, not a Chris Lea cult. And me and my brother would sneak Matt TV at risk of religious flogging and laugh hilariously at Lorraine. My question is, where did Mo source these characters? What was the inspiration? This language.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Where did I source them? What did you source them? Cult. He was part of a cult. Cult. That's how he talks. Oh my gosh. Religious flogging.
Starting point is 00:50:42 I sourced them. Well, I sourced them. Lorraine is an amalgamation of many women up in Minnesota, which you could then broaden and say Midwest. And the thing about Lorraine is, you know, the, for instance, is a, it's a mechanism that I've, I've really felt people up there used when they're just, it's almost like in ellipses. It's sort of to let the other person know we don't have anything to talk about.
Starting point is 00:51:15 We're not getting into deep things because they don't up there. It's just basic, like, you know, here's this bottle, you know, this is, yeah, just keeping the, it's keeping the music of a conversation going where there isn't necessarily a lot of notes and that's sort of a Midwestern thing. So that's where she. Curiosity, lots of curiosity, you know, but conversation kind of. But was Lorraine something that like when you came to LA, you already had or you had written up years before?
Starting point is 00:51:50 I actually Lorraine, I used to do with a friend of mine in Minnesota. There was a, Lorraine had a counterpart by my friend, Melissa Denton. And we just, it was these two women that would go shopping. We write sketches and do them at a thing called balls, which is a midnight show on the weekends in Minneapolis. And yeah, they just like had conversations with each other, like, yeah, that's a nice table. Isn't it?
Starting point is 00:52:19 Huh? Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. It was, I didn't even know how it really, to be honest, when I auditioned at Mad TV, I had to change Lorraine a little bit to put her into the format. So Lorraine became like this, I did my audition with Lorraine was her, you know, sitting on
Starting point is 00:52:42 the porch talking about the colored people that moved in next door. Yeah. Up at the lake. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's cute little baby though, huh? But that's that Minnesota, it's Minnesota racism is what it is. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:05 That's the source. That's the source. But that's not who Lorraine ended up being on the show, and I'm actually really glad of that. She's just a curious figure. Right. We have another one from Gengen Singh. What's her name?
Starting point is 00:53:20 Gengen Singh. All right. What a beautiful name. Beautiful. This had the most likes. So we're gonna ask this one. What was your immediate reaction when you heard Bobby farted in Christopher Lanigan's mouth?
Starting point is 00:53:30 Well, this is the first time hearing that. Oh. She didn't know about it. What? You know, I farted in Christopher Lanigan's mouth. It was like a big story. And there was gonna be a lot. You farted in her mouth?
Starting point is 00:53:43 You gotta explain her to the story now. See, this is after I was gone, correct? Yes. All hell breaks loose without mother Collins. You don't know what the story is. So I farted in her mouth. Okay. She was eating yogurt.
Starting point is 00:53:56 Sure. Yeah. And what was your source for wanting to do that? I didn't know who she was. You didn't know who she was so you farted in her mouth. Yeah. Hello. It's nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:54:08 Yeah. What? You didn't know her? No. I don't know what she was, but I thought she was like an ex or something, but I grabbed the back of her head while she was eating yogurt and her mouth was open to eating yogurt and I farted in her mouth. And how was your relationship after that?
Starting point is 00:54:22 Not good. I had to get a lawyer. Did you? Yeah. You had to get a lawyer. I had to get a lawyer. What happened? Because then I had a conversation with her a couple days later.
Starting point is 00:54:30 And said, this is how it is on the show. No, I said. You need to get used to this kind of behavior and then you went and pooped on the table. Oh, so you know about that one? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:41 I used to poo. Yeah. As a defense mechanism. Everybody poops. It's a book. Right? The octopus has that what ink thing that he does? That's yours.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Yeah. Pooing is mine. Yeah. Defend it. Thank you. Even though everybody does it. Yeah, but I do. We don't do that.
Starting point is 00:54:57 You don't? Nope. We don't. So I did. Are you? Are you okay? Look at me in the eye. What?
Starting point is 00:55:05 You need to tell me. Are you okay? He has a fascination for the smell of poop. Oh, okay. So it's actually. We all have things. We do things. I think this scent, it's the one thing that actually works in our relationship.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Because if there's dog, if a dog has an accident in the house, I'll get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not that exciting. That excited. No, he never. He never, that's the one thing we never argue about.
Starting point is 00:55:32 It was funny at first, but then I'm like thinking about it. Like what the fuck was that? What people are thinking. Yeah, that's true. Look it. Come on. I'm so glad that works. And then he does this and he does a deep inhale of the poo.
Starting point is 00:55:43 I love it. He likes poo. What? Is it about? What? Is it about it? I don't know. I just like the fascination.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Okay. I like horrible smelling things. Do you really? Not constantly, but if it's like, you know, you know, in and out, you know, the smell is in and out. I won't be like, I wouldn't be a good like detective where I had walked into a room. There was a homicide in the summer and the body's been sitting there for like five months, running away and that smell.
Starting point is 00:56:13 I wouldn't be able to do that. Okay. Little glimpse is a poo. It's fine. His, in fact, that's my third album special. Yeah. Little glimpse is a poo. He has a barrier.
Starting point is 00:56:23 You have a barrier? No, I'm not. I know. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Do you want help with advice?
Starting point is 00:56:31 Yeah. Do you want help? Help, help, help, help. I'm helpful advice with Bobby Kalaila and Mo Collins. Oh my God. Hi. Right. Oh, nice voice.
Starting point is 00:56:41 I'm a 20 year old male from Poland and I've got a problem. Here we go. I've never really had friends or been in a relationship and has it affected the way I perceive stuff, especially with women. Every time I'm talking with a girl, I'm thinking about her in a romantic way, whether it's a friend asking me about school, a girl I don't know who hits me up because she wants to buy books. I even, there's a language barrier, even have a random stranger on the internet.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I don't act. I just daydream. I don't want stuff like that to distract me and I know I'm putting others before myself. For example, could talk with such girls knowing I've gotten something else to do, but the craving for the feelings is stronger. How I quit this virgin like attitude where I see all women in a romantic way. I especially want to stop doing that because I'm moving to study at university very soon and I want to be free there.
Starting point is 00:57:22 I'm a big fan of the podcast. You're never free ever. Greg. He's sweet. He's romantic. Oh, I imagine it's like a young you. Yeah. That's good.
Starting point is 00:57:30 I mean, that's just, it's heartbreaking that that's a problem for him because it's really, it's just, that's his heart growing every time he talks to a woman. But the way he says that he's not even like thinking of them maliciously, he's daydreaming of romance. Oh my gosh. It's. He needs a, he needs a Roma. He needs a girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:57:53 He needs a place to put this. Yeah. He wants to love. He wants love. But I, I, I miss those aching aching. She's right here. She's right here. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:58:04 But what I'm saying is that, I mean, that, that you're young, you just heard my feelings saying that when she is right there. When you're young, you know, yeah, the aching, the aching, I used to, when I got together with my, um, my now husband, we used to call it shunking that feeling when you would get together and, um, it would tingle and it just goes shunk right down to your sex bits. Oh. Remember that feeling? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Yeah. Yeah. Where the blood just shunts to the. Yeah. It's like in Guino region or Hiram or they do something, they'd look at you a certain way and just shunk right, right down. Shunking. All the blood.
Starting point is 00:58:46 It's heavy there. My fifth album is shunking. Right? That's a feeling like so many albums. It's overwhelming. Yeah. It's an amazing, amazing feeling. But adult love might feel like shunking on occasion, but that puppy love, that high school
Starting point is 00:59:02 feeling of that aching that you're talking about, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Where you can't quite get there with the one that you have the biggest crush on and it's soul crushing. Yeah. I would like walk it. Like a dream. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Like in the suburbs, I have no car really. You know, I have no, I don't know what I want to do with my life. Oh. It's the late 80s, right? It's summer and then you see a girl riding on her bike. Oh. You know what I mean? Even a Jew could be a Jewish girl.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Oh no. Okay. I'm a white lady. I know. Yeah. You could be a Jew and she's like riding her bike. Sure. And you're hot.
Starting point is 00:59:40 There's, you know, there's, you know, Larissa Feingold in your head, right? Yeah. Don't say the last part. But I think it's. Larissa. I think it's important for us though to those moments. Yeah. You have to, because they don't come the same way.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Yeah. As we are older. Yeah. Yeah. You have to create them. Yeah. You do. You do.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Oh. Let's see what you're saying. You have to create them. Yeah. You have to. Especially. Romance is available to all of us. You have to create it.
Starting point is 01:00:09 I think that's what we probably lack. Is that we. Okay. We'll talk about it later. No, no, no. I don't know what the fuck is going on here. This is when a lot of people lack. We talk about it later.
Starting point is 01:00:18 We get to date each other. Yeah. So it's just stuck in the doldrums of every day. Dude, that's a mystery thing to do. It's like I love periodically even just throwing on the song from our wedding and dancing and staring into my husband slash lover's eyes. Oh. I mean you know what?
Starting point is 01:00:35 Two days ago he did say, well at 9 a.m. he was still awake and we were driving back from Koreatown. He was like, you know, he at 9 a.m. I was still awake this morning and I listened to the song and I cried and I thought, wow, like he really is thinking about me because I'm sleeping in the bed next to him and I was like, oh, you're crying about, I was thinking about you dying. And I know that sounds kind of weird, but I was like, wow, that's actually really. Well, hey, if that's what it takes to get you, but truly it's like you think we do take,
Starting point is 01:01:08 it's too easy to take advantage of the people we love the most, you know, but it's like if that's what it takes to get you to a feeling. Think about the person, because look, life is fleeting. This shit could be over in an hour. Do you know what I mean? And so recognize that we're not gifted tomorrow automatic and it's like that, oh, think about, think about it. How much they mean to you in your every day.
Starting point is 01:01:37 You don't want to be without that person. So while we're here, do the things, look at each other and recognize that and say those things to each other. Even after that, though, he said, it's important. It's really important. I love you so much. I love you too. But after that happened, I was like, oh, that's really sweet.
Starting point is 01:01:54 And he's like, that was the first time that I ever, I said this, I said, hold on, let me say this. You said that this is the first time that I ever felt sad about the idea of you dying. I was like, so three days ago, you weren't, I could have died and you would have felt nothing. He was like, yeah, this is probably the first time I felt that I was like six years in. You know what I said it was this and that's ridiculous because what I said it was this. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:18 It was that I have thought about, you know, the only people in my life, if I close my eyes or I'm sleeping or mid-sleep and I thought if they died, it was my parents and my brother that would have been devastating. I would wake up from that sleep and not be able to sleep. She's the first girlfriend where if I, when I thought that and thought, oh, the same as it, I would, as my brother, I'm, do you know, do you understand what I'm saying or no? Like she was like, like she'd be on now. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:02:51 Just some, you know, Hoochie, right? How many years? How many years? How many years? Five years. She was a Hoochie. I'm telling you everything up until that morning. I was just a Hoochie.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Hoochie mom. I would have just been a dead Hoochie, but that morning is what solidifies. Yeah. Like a few, yeah, like a couple of months ago, it would have been like, let me see your holes, but now, yeah, but now I look at you and I go, he's trying to hold it. Is that the next album? Let me see your. Let me see your holes.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Let me see your meat holes. What? Yeah. Your meat holes. You know what I mean? Love that romantic. And I'd spread it open. I go, yeah, spit on it.
Starting point is 01:03:29 But now it's like, oh no, my meat hole, don't die with an Asian accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, meat hole, don't die. That's another one. Sixth album. That's another. No, that's his t-shirt. Oh, that's his t-shirt. Meat holes, don't die.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Yeah, yeah. Meat holes, don't die. Doesn't mean dead. All right. Anyway. Wow. That used to be a website in college, membermeetholes.com. Really?
Starting point is 01:03:57 What? That was a thing. And it used to be like prolapsed anuses and God, you were so behind on the porn back then, Bobby. Of course, that's how I said meat holes. Okay, good. As long as you know the website, we're on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Meat holes is the best. Do you think all of this helped that guy in Poland? Gotta find my meat hole. I think it did. If you ever, listen, you know, a lot of people don't get this invite, but if you ever wanted to promote something or you needed Tiger Billy's help, you're always, just call anytime, we'll put you on. Thanks, Bobby.
Starting point is 01:04:32 We love you a lot. I love you too. I'm so glad that you came here to do this, and I want to do more of it. I'm around like stink on shit as my mother used to say. Stink on shit. Give Mo Collins a round of applause. You guys are nice. What are your handles?
Starting point is 01:04:49 What are your handles? Well, I've got this one over on the right. Great. Wonderful. Yeah. Mo Collins. Oh my gosh. At Mo Collins, probably.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Something like that. The Mo Collins or that Mo Collins, the underscore. You should know it. Maybe you should. I should know that. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Yeah. Did you look it up? I don't know. That underscore Mo, underscore Collins. There you go. That underscore Mo, underscore Collins. Blue check mark. Ooh, verified.
Starting point is 01:05:19 Yeah. Look for the blue check, bitches. Hard earned. My good checkers. Hard, hard earned. Give her a round of applause, everybody. We'll be right back with some housekeeping. I love that a lot.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Hey, guys. What an episode with Mo Collins. And to watch some of the movies we've talked about, like The King's A Comedy and many more, head over to voodoo.com slash tigerbelly and start watching today. If you want more tigerbelly in your life and if you're listening now, you obviously do. So get some of those awesome premium episodes every week only at patreon.com slash tigerbelly. You're going to want to do that because we recently recorded some that were pretty ridiculous. So make sure you check those out.
Starting point is 01:06:03 There may be some visuals coming out currently on IG, on George or Calylas Instagram, which I do not approve of, but I had no say. But that happened at a patreon. Also thanks to everyone who wrote us iTunes reviews this week. You helped us get to the top 30. I love it. Let's try for top 15. I believe this left kingdom can do it.
Starting point is 01:06:20 And if you haven't left a review yet, please leave one. And to everyone who has an interesting problem or you just want bad advice, we have a new email for unhelpful advice and that is adviceunhelpful at gmail.com. And if you are just someone else who wants to email, not an unhelpful vice question, you can also email us at thetigerbelly at gmail.com. Oh yeah, in case anyone has any business inquiries or anything, George, so don't yell at me. Okay, I'm going to give everyone your phone number right now.
Starting point is 01:06:51 It is, I don't know what it is. And guys, yeah, you can follow KlylaiKlamdk, everythingbobbylee at bobbyleelive.com or at bobbyleelive. And that is our show. Thank you so much for listening. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Barely Ad Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen Ad Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts.
Starting point is 01:07:41 Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.