TigerBelly - Episode 26: Tito Bobby-Honeyboy
Episode Date: January 27, 2016Bobby gets contact high from Coco. Khalyla gives great advice to a 14 year old girl about meth. Gilbert is Dr. Nothing. Gilbert apologizes to Ate and Appa. We go over the Filipino naming syst...em, the great traits of Lucifer, and why Asians aren't fond of the EBT card. Â Recorded January 25, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey
Welcome to the podcast, baby
Baby, my name is Bobby Lee
We have Kalilah and Gilbert
Welcome to another podcast another Tiger Belly and
Very excited to be here with you people. Are you high?
I'm not high, but I did two hours on joy Diaz's podcast about an hour ago
And he smoked so much pot in that little room. I might have got contact buzz, but I don't know if it's a real
I don't think it's a relapse. Do you have to call your sponsor? I don't have to call nobody because I'm fine
Are you in denial because you're high? I'm not high right? I'm not high at all. How does that work?
Let's say someone accidentally slips you a jack-and-coke and you don't know about it
Like do you have to call your sponsors that considered a relapse?
well
Yeah, I don't know if you know Hayes MacArthur, you know who he is
Mm-hmm. He's an actor. He's married to that chick that was on the original heroes the blonde that was in heroes
Hayden not Hayden. No, the other one. She's married to Klitschko the other one the other the other one
Okay, anyways, anyway on Hayes one time at a bar goes hey, you want a coke and I go?
Yeah, but he knew I was sober and he got me a jack-and-coke
Fuck why would he thought it was funny? So I took a sip of the jack-and-coke and I go Hayes is her alcohol in there
She's like, yeah, dude. Oh, oh my god, and I go dude. That's not
Funny like you know from where you come from Chicago. Maybe that's Chicago funny
But it's like it's not LA funny, dude, and then I go don't ever do that again. He's like, ah, yeah
How big of a goal did you take?
I was part so a nice cup gulp, and then I um, did you feel it? Did you taste it that attempt you?
Well, no, it's not a relapse because it's an accident, but and then remember what happened with Morty. I
Think you sort of told me about this Robert Morton. You know who that is Robert Morton used to be the executive producer of
the David Letterman show for many many years. Um, he's a
Old producer, you know and
so I
Was writing a show with Joe Coy and Robert Morton was our showrunner and so we're yet Hugo's and
Robert Morton had seen me smoke
My um vapor my tobacco vapor at meetings
at brocelling gray
So then we but he didn't know what it was. So then we're at Hugo's and he goes a look at my new vape
I go, oh cool. He goes you want to have a good flavor in there
So he gave me the fucking thing and I um and he went to the bathroom
And I took two puffs of it
Mm-hmm, and then when I come kind back, I go this that was his tobacco, right?
He goes no that's a weed
Right and I got super high and I then I called my sponsor and I said did I relapse?
He goes no it was by accidents. He goes you just got a freebie and I laid in bed
That was really it felt good, but I'm curious
You realize I'm curious. Do you think at some point down this road?
A a isn't gonna consider marijuana an actual they will never consider they will never consider marijuana
What it what a drug I got a drug. No, they'll never accept it
They'll never accept it as a thing that you can do tell me why what about okay?
What about this cuz it's a mind-altering. What about this? What about let's say, let's suppose you have
PTSD or let's suppose you start getting some type of seizures and the only true
medication that alleviates your pain or your seizures is
CBD so it's the THC is what gets you high right CBD is more medicinal, but you still have a certain amount of THC
They're just put it this way. There are some a guru like gurus, but guys have been a lot that won't even in surgery
They won't even have antiseptic or whatever. Oh, wow
Alright, no, that's not true because they would die
They would vagal out and they would fucking their blood pressure would drop and they would die
You don't get cut up without some type of no they do a Rambo style
No, you ever see first blood. Yeah, remember we fell off the cliff
Do you take antiseptic there? No, he powered through and any septic he took a needle and he
Start up his own arm
You're meeting with no antiseptic real life
So that answer my question
So if that was the only recourse you had in your like pain management and you had to take
cannibinoid
And you had to actually like
Take the take the like medical marijuana. Would you would have considered a relapse? It's a relapse
What if it treats your PTSD relapse how I don't get that that that type of thinking though
Where you could better your life where he said let's suppose you have PTSD then don't be an AA and don't do it
Well, and just real I'm saying this because it's supposed to be helpful. So I'm thinking of this in a real life circumstance
I have PTSD. I want to stay sober. I've tried every and SSRI
Anti-depressant God they would say that God could help you and fix you you would pray and you would meditate
But what if someone says well God put cannibinoids?
Can never be honest on this planet so that you don't have to live your life with nightmares for the rest of your life
Sweetie, I didn't make up the fucking rules. I don't know what you I'm not like the president of the company
They didn't create the fucking thing man. It's just the rule and that's that okay happens if because I don't know shit
No, you guys know that I suffer from extreme anxiety. Yeah, social anxiety. I sweat anytime. I meet people
It's it's debilitating for me. So lately, you know, I've ran out of options. I don't want to go back on anti-depressants
I don't want to go back on all the meds. I was on before so I'm considering
Taking CBD
It's just like how would that work in our relationship? I just say follow your heart. No stupid
Oh, no, never call them that again. I'm sorry. Whoa. Thank you so much. You're welcome
Did you just defend for skin for the first time because right now you're really pissing me off baby. You're just hi, babe
No, you're saying
Bobby's so high right now. You're just agitated. Cannabinovo. Cannabinovo is? Cannabinovo
Yeah, so I don't even know what you're saying. So if I started smoking would that be an issue for you? Cigarettes? No, stupid. Yeah, smoke weed. I'm gonna fuck
You smoked weed before right? Yeah, I used to smoke a lot, but I'm it the little jungle feet
I had to stop because I was smoking
Because the THC is like psychoactive and it was causing me more panic than good
So but now they're able to have like, you know, a different kind that might work for me. Let's talk about
Oh quick thing. Okay, quickly
Don't do that. No, we have to talk about it. We have talk about it. It'll give her more, you know, that's fine. Yeah
Who is she? So Kate Quigley is a comedian that she was the last person I saw before I saw
Kalilah
Okay, and I met her on Tinder and basically what she was doing is
She was on Tinder not to date
But she was because you know what a bring-a-room is when you're a stand-up explain when you're a new stand-up
You have to do these things called bring-a-room so you can't go up if you don't bring 15 people
I see so they have okay. Okay, so what she would do is she would match up with a bunch of guys on Tinder
Tell them to come to this show that she was on
So it'd be like 40 dudes showing up the thing they're gonna have a date with Kate Quigley, but she was just using them
To get to go to her bring-a-shop. That's smart though. It's very smart
That's very smart, but I matched with her because I'm a comedian and then we dated for a little bit and um
dated or had sex well, I mean we had sex a couple of times and
um
That couldn't do it
What was the point at which you could it was no more well
She was laying on the bed and first of all is there a reason we brought her up not just to talk about you having sex with her
It's because something happened recently, right? I know I'm gonna get to that fucker. I just want to make sure well
You think I'm just gonna say that I tap this fucker
He's told me the story many times he's repeating it only for you, but can I just say before you continue that I love her
Just be be kind. I am being kind. You don't want to just lambast the woman anyway
She's great. So that's that and then um
So then I met Kalilah and I've been exclusively with the love of my life
sitting to my right and so um, but
She Kate quickly moved up pretty quickly in the last couple years and in show business and she
Hosted the avn awards show and you explained what I saw
Gilbert can I think yeah, there's a video of Kate Quigley?
I don't know how to describe it. There's a rapper named walka-flocka. He's at the avn awards in backstage
Kate Quigley runs up to him and starts grinding him
Comedically I guess yeah, she was kind of doing like it's like a white girl twerk
Yeah, she was twerking and trying to be funny. She's trying to be funny, but it was it came out to be it was
Racist almost racists. I mean she might as well just went
Racist trying to like you know some because it's a cult no it was a cult no because she was trying to get a laugh
It was all black by doing a cultural like urban thing. You know, but she's a white girl
Doing it and it looks
It just doesn't look right. It looks awkward. It looks forced, but it also looks racist a little bit
Right or no, I don't know racist. I thought your monkey noise is more
Yeah, sweetheart my good. No, I just said she might as well done that. I wouldn't have done that
So it became the video became viral
12 million hits right cuz walka-flocka posted it and with a caption
Okay, as if like sort of to dismiss the fact that this, you know, white girl was trying to grind up a lot of
good
I mean he's popular. He is okay. Yeah, he's in the clubs
So what is your your gripe with all of this Bobby?
Well, number one my gripe is this is that well, I mean I have a lot of gripes with this and you know
number one
Is is that I know you said that the avian wars is a ghetto award show. It probably is
What'd you say? I said it's an award show with porn stars. Yeah, but you're not you're saying it's not prestigious at all
to
Host it. Yeah, I mean no, I the only I all I said it was like it's not the golden globes
It's not Ricky Gervais and it's not I understand that but so what I was saying
I was saying is is that I know that Greg Fitzsimmons had hosted at two years in a row
Greg Fitzsimmons is I
Find one of the best comics in the country. He is so well respected
I know I remember like when Chelsea handler
When she he would do Chelsea with me that Chelsea and the staff
Treated Greg Fitzsimmons with a class that I mean I'm friends with Chelsea, but um
He just got you know the royal treatment and and so I've done his podcast. I I treat him the same way
I think that he is up there not in terms of popularity, but with you know, I mean prestige like Bill Burr
He's very good. Mm-hmm. And so for you to have him host two years in a row and then they have Kate quickly do it
It it's a little it's a little weird for me because she's number one
Extremely new at doing comedy number two. She's attractive for being a comedian
And I feel like that that was a factor of them choosing her. She's got big tits, you know, I mean and um
She's flirty and she's kind of like not she's a smart girl, but she has this ditzy persona right her voice and stuff and um
So I you know, I number one I had a problem
I thought she was just too young and too green to host something like that. Yeah, and that video shows how green she is because I
Don't think that any but I'd like for me. I've hosted
Nothing on TV, but I've hosted this thing called the Asian Excellence Awards before you laugh at it. That's well-known
Actually, I did a couple years
Before you laugh at it. We've had we had Tarantino Danny DeVito
Well, you're laughing. Well, he said don't laugh at it
Because you're like pitting yourself against a white girl hosting the AVN awards
I still I don't understand your gripe. What I'm saying is is that the Asian Excellence Awards still excellence awards
It's still as not as popular as the AVN awards. AVN awards. It's far more popular and I
Hosted the Asian Excellence Award a couple years. It's a tough job and you need, you know
credibility first of all
To bring up presenters like Tarantino or whatever, right?
Hey, but who's to say that Kate Quigley didn't do an amazing job
Just because she danced like an idiot with Waka Flaka
does not mean that the girl didn't go up there and
Absolutely, like, you know destroy like you don't we don't know that I mean you didn't do any research
No, I mean so it's the fuck face. You just showed me that fucking video. That's what everyone's seen
Listen to what I'm saying before you I fuck you answer
What you say fuck me answer. Yeah, fuck me answer. Okay, okay, so just listen to me
Okay, you see me show me the video. Yeah, so I assume that she was like that the whole time
Okay, but it's not you don't know that I
mean, I'll admit you know in it from
From my perspective and I don't know her I actually know like I've spoken to her a few times and she's a really nice girl
It's it's it is a little bit tacky and really cringe-worthy
But at the same time, maybe there is a genius to her just putting herself out there in ways. That's just
You know going to it's inevitable. It's gonna go viral. It's cringe-worthy, but it went viral, right?
So like that's basically maybe that's what the she a mission accomplished for her has the most muscular, but I've ever touched
It was amazing. No, why would you knock on muscular butt because it felt like I was
Hooking up with Michael Phelps. You hooked up with Michael Phelps. Yes
After the last Olympics, what do you think?
as a comedian and
I I've received a few texts from like, you know some female comics, huh?
How do you think they feel watching that thinking like?
Like like for me being a guy who uses a lot of female comics on the road
I I bring I just I'm not gonna brag, but I've brought a Whitney Cummings, Sarah Tiana
Oh, I've brought in Candice Thompson. We just used Christine Little Jade Caterpreda
So I love using female comics and friends with all of them. I I'm I'm I'm genuinely
Supportive of it and I'm gonna tell you this is all the girls that I just mentioned are credible
stand-up comics that have
Real jokes a real point of view and they've been at it a very long time now
It's it's not even about that what it is. It is about is street credibility
You know, you see someone like JD Caterpreda who does
One o'clock in the morning spots at the comedy store because you got passes a regular which took forever for her to do
her showcasing, you know forever and it's like it's just
You know, you have to go through a rite of passage. I believe you know and
Kate hasn't done that, you know, I she's a sweet girl. I'm very nice to her and
I'm I guess I'm proud of her in a sense like go get it
But what I'm saying though is is that there still isn't any real comedy credibility there?
Yeah, you know, and I want to hurt her feelings. I probably would say that to her face also if she would ask me
But what I would also say is that if you spend a couple more years developing
I'm pretty sure she's gonna get there. Yeah, I cannot knock that girl's hustle. It looks like she works hard
It looks like she she she even though she might not have the comedic credibility yet
It looks like she you know, she the word hustle though
The word hustle should not even be in that equation because I'll tell you why you think it's wrong to use her sexuality
Yes
She uses other things that normal people cannot use like me. I can't use
Sexuality, I've never gotten a job based on my sexuality
Every job I've ever gotten acting comedy. Otherwise has been sheer
You know just I
Don't know how to explain it. Um persistence, but over the years persistence, you know of like
showing up failing
Failing for you know failing a thousand times, you know failing. I went on audition today
And I called her I go that was like a nightmare. You know, I mean, it's like I still have to I can't go in there and show a titty. I
Wish I could I've tried. They probably yeah, they laugh. I should I pull it out and make them. No
But
But if you did if you did have a titty would you use it? I use my pussy
Right, so I'm saying that we all have different weapons to use so if you yeah, but
You know, I'm just telling you that let's say let's say your weapon personality though. You can kill a room
That's not that's not a weapon
No, that's what all ugly dudes have
Yeah, yeah, like you are a fat guy. That's what you're funny. It's like fat girls giving amazing blowjobs
It's like they have they better give great blowjobs. Yeah, we have to go other
Paths, you know a harder path. I believe I bet you gave better blowjobs when you were fat
Yeah
Gilbert. Yeah, they're I had a tight upper lip. Yeah, no, but you wanted to make the guy come
Yep, you know, you were happy to work hard. I was it was my hustle. Yeah, yeah
And then like it there were probably times when they're like you're like can you use a condom?
And they're like no dude
I'm not gonna use a fun condom. Yeah, you're like because you know me you want to be yeah, you're that fat guy
Yeah, like okay, just come inside of me. How do you guys know my life so much you're being
First of all kind of just say this you think that we're like having fun and having doing a sketch or and we're having fun
I'm being fucking real. Yeah, I know, you know, yeah, and you could smile it off. I'm not even smiling
I know you are and you're smiling right now. Collin and I have been talking about it behind your back
How dare you and we believe that you're gay
Okay, so it's like we know you've looked it
We know you've had it in the butt and that's fine. Just open up to us. Okay, maybe all right. Is your mom listening?
Is he listening? Yeah, I found a new religion. What is it? Oh really quick
Was that a bit when you showed your balls on a radio station? No, it fell out. It actually fell out. I swear to God. Oh
There you go. People were saying I was all planned. No, I think that was real. I'm gonna tell you this right now. Okay, I
Were that jeans with the little hole there
I wasn't wearing underwear and I'm luck luckily it happened on Rover because the next thing I did
Yeah, was a TV like a morning news show. Oh, but it was no desk
It was me just on a thing and I swear to God. I made it a point to pull my jeans
You know, I mean like right before we shot. She's like, what are you doing?
I was pulling it down. So my sack wouldn't come out
But it came out on rubber and what I'm mad about Rover is is that you could have let it go because it's radio
Yeah, yeah, but then they were filming it. So you were in the middle of like a heartfelt speech
Yeah, and then he goes interrupted you and said hey, is your set. Is your sack coming out?
And I look down and lo and behold one of my sacks was sticking out of my jeans
Wow, and then um, Ike Baron Holtz didn't like it
He didn't know what did he say? It was what the fuck? Oh shout out to him. I saw him in the Suicide Squad trailer. Yeah
He's in it. Yeah, the fuck. Yeah, he's on everything. He's on everything now. Dang
Yeah, what is he playing a guard? You know, it's unknown right now. He could be a main character
Well, he's in the credits. So he's in he's they just didn't list the name of who he is yet
Now I think he is just playing a guard, but I think that he is a important part of that
Yeah, or he could be a suicide squad. I don't know crazy. Yeah, he's killing it and I asked him about it
He wouldn't even talk about it. Oh, you know what I you know, what's great about Ike with all the success that he's had
He was in neighbors and whatever when you bring it up and you say congratulations. He hates it
You're the same way too, right?
Yeah, but I've never done it. I've never been that hot like, you know, I mean
I'll have to be honest with you when I saw the trailer for Keanu Keegan and Jordan's movie
There's a split of jealousy
Really? Yeah, I get a little jealous, especially when they're mad TV people not because I know that they're talented and they deserve it
You know, I mean, but I just I don't know what it is. It's just because we're from the same cloth or cloth and and you know
You know, I mean that I
This is a little not jealousy. It's just kind of like
What have you been doing? I asked myself that
You know, I mean and then Clio will go will you play video games? You know, I mean all that stuff, but
Anyway, um, did Calila go and say that just now because I didn't hear Calila go and say that
But I just also want to say though that you know, I I Jordan Keegan and anyone that was I met especially those boys
um, I
really truly love with them. Yeah as as
They're beyond brothers really, you know, I can't even really explain it, you know
Um groomsmen at a wedding. It's not even that. It's just like I I think I can equate it to like
If we're in the army together or something, you know, band of brothers. Yeah, it's a band of brothers situation
I'm very happy for them. And I think it reflects to my own laziness and maybe I'm not talented
What just happened
And he's gonna go kill himself now. He pulls his balls
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I honestly think that maybe I don't have any talent. Maybe you're you know on par with Kate
Maybe that's why I
Maybe you attacked her because maybe she might be eclipsing you
You know what I'm gonna go with that
I'm gonna go with that line of thinking and maybe you're right and maybe because listen
She's to just be a girl you would go on podcast and talk about in in in you know
In not nice ways and now she's a girl who is on the rise and you know
Maybe making a lot of us cringe, but she's still doing it
And maybe I should just quit and maybe I should relapse and maybe I should just with her way
Well, you're on the road there. You're already high. So like arrowhead somewhere and I'll just kill myself
Why like arrowhead? I don't know. I've been dreaming about like arrowhead for some reason. Have you ever been?
No, I had drink the water though
And I and I great water. No, it's great. What nobody's a little because on the bottle. They have that little lake arrowhead
You know, I mean that little symbol. Yeah with the lake and the trees and stuff and I've stared at that before and
Then I envision myself water skiing, but then I also envision myself killing myself like in a like a little house there
Congratulations
For fucking box for DP for booking a overseas acting job. Oh, wow. Yeah, that fan. Yes
He just got a
three-month
acting gig in
Puerto Rico, and I think it's that show a show the last airship or something. I have no idea. Yeah, like on sci-fi
It's no, I know Eric Daneson. Hang on. Who are we congratulating dad fan? Oh
DP DP and
He got a dramatic role a three-month gig in Puerto Rico. How do you know all this? I don't know
This is suspicious behavior Bobby. I know so congratulations. I thought I was obsessed with him, but you know
Congratulations to him
For getting now. He's talented. I told you that when we saw the video of him crying
the acting scene
Remember I said that you watch you called it. You called it. I called it and now look
Because he's playing mean young. He's made playing Ming Yong Tran. Yep. Yeah, hashtag Vietnamese Oscars
So it he ought to thank you for driving casting directors his way. I could have done that. Yeah
Also happy blade birthday dad fan. Oh, yeah, and a happy birthday DP
Much love and I found a new religion for what is it?
But I want to first read, you know, the a couple of their tenets and you tell me if it's a religion that you're on board with as well
I already fucking know. All right
No, just before you I'm gonna let you say what you're gonna say, baby. No, I'm gonna test Gilbert
I am gonna let you say but I'm gonna say beforehand. Okay, but I do not agree
Okay, don't you if you don't agree with these tenets then you can be like, okay, that doesn't sound good
So these are the tenets. Okay. Tell me if this sounds like a good good fundamentals for a religion
Okay, here we go
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy towards all creatures in accordance with reason
Does that sound good to you? Sounds good so far. Okay
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit and should prevail over laws and institutions
So justice should always prevail
I'm on board. Okay
One's body is
Inviolable like you cannot violate anyone's bodies
Subject to one's all will alone the freedoms of others should be respected
Including the freedom to offend to willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo your own
So you can't you can't take away anyone's freedom. Agreed or else you have to forgo your own freedom. It sounds great so far. Okay
Beliefs should conform to our best scientific understanding of the world
We should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit our own beliefs so science over faith
No, you're not on board. I'm on board because I'm very much on board. That's the most on board thing. I'm on board
Yeah, okay next I need proof. Okay people are fallible if we make a mistake
We should do our best to rectify it and resolve any harm that may have been caused
You're on board with that being kind. Okay. Can I just say being kind Jesus? Yeah, that's it. That's basically it
Doesn't that sound like a dream religion? What is it satanic? What is it? No, no, what now?
Would you join that religion man's of West Hollywood? What is it? Would you would you join that? I'm on board with it
I'm probably would you join that religion Gilbert, but what you guys she's just said yes
Good yet. You say yes. I think that makes you a very intelligent person. You know, tell everyone with this religion
Scientology, no, it's a satanic temple. I knew it. Damn it. Hey, but they didn't show you the other stuff. What's the other stuff?
There's other ones that they didn't mention on that fucking CNN thing that when they boil babies
Whoa, they boil babies. I'm off. Yeah, they stick razor blades and like grandmother's policies and stuff completely wrong
That's actually quite the opposite these people. You don't know that baby. I do know this because that's CNN
They're not gonna show you what they do on the slide. Why did this is why?
dead fans stop talking
So Gilbert the reason that these people call themselves Satanists is because they were they look at Lucifer
I mean Lucifer is his angel name, right?
They see Lucifer as a rebel or like someone who challenged authority and didn't like judgmental types
So basically us. Okay. First of all Lucifer was us Lucifer did that to God
Yeah, okay, so that's not no, I mean Lucifer. That's God
No, but they don't even believe in that Judeo-Christian God to be saying that Lucifer was an angel, right?
Created by God. All right
He had other angels that abided by God and Lucifer said fuck you God because he's not and then all of a sudden and all of a sudden
He's got a couple of followers on earth and it's the wrong path, baby
Jesus is the light why because Lucifer believes in individuality Lucifer is deceiving you right now and then of
Eventually you're gonna boil babies and stick razor blades and grandmother's that really they're only tenants
Those are their tenants, but they're not yeah
The misconception is that Satanists like boil babies or you know sacrifice animals or whatever
But these people are actually into like charity work. They're like social rights activists or into women rights for sure
It's a different name. No, but that's that's the problem that we name it right now. No, you rename it, right?
No, but Satan really Valley or mashed potato people
But you mash potato people and gravy and gravy and they they're their slogan is the greatest gift is knowledge
That's a pretty good slogan, but just the Satanism has a stop
Yeah, that is the name or just because then you then you then you're saying that
You're you're being influenced by the Judeo Christian version of what Satan is when in their mind
Satan wasn't a bad guy. He just did he wasn't cheap. He didn't just nod and say yes, sir
Yes, ma'am to everything. God said it would just be like you being somebody
It's do they believe the Satan though lives. Where does he live?
They don't believe in hell. They don't believe okay, so then Lucifer doesn't really believe in just being good people
So there's no Lucifer in there. There's no they say Lucifer and they build the statues and stuff
It's just a symbol. They don't have a statue of Lucifer
They have a statue of something called like Baphomet, which is like a goat goat head choosing you choosing you
My goats are cool. No
Puppy puppy puppy with the mashed potato people. Yeah, I'm not I'm not into a baby
And I really do you had a friend who was Duncan Trussell. He's a Satanist
Yeah, good because he's an intellect and he's a provocateur. He also has a mole
He has some mole. Please beat his butt on no on his thigh like to near his sack
And it's hair. I'm not kidding you and this is not a joke
There's like long gray hair sticking out of it and that shit is like fucking satan shit
Then right there. You think he got that cuz he's a Satanist. I think that it's
I think it's growing. I'm really surprised that you're you're against all this Bobby because when I when I describe like what a
Satanist is like people who are you know, they're intellects and provocateurs who don't like to live in the confines of like what people call normal
I think it's just the name. I feel like that's who you me and Gilbert are. I'm not that I feel like we always push the envelope
No, I'm in Jesus's light Jesus's well, maybe you should stop smoking marijuana
I didn't smoke marijuana. I'll be so high right now. I did it
Do you guys have any weird moles anywhere? I don't something hidden. I have a mole on my neck. She says I cancerous
Yeah, you got to go by ABCD E. What does that mean when you look at a mole?
So you have to look for a asymmetry be the borders if it's irregular borders see the color if it's just all one color
It has a weird discoloration in it and then D is the diameter or how big it is. Oh
Oh, so that's how you like basically like measure whether or not a mole
It's but in that case
It's so big that you should just get it removed and you know test it anyways
Let's do it. Oh, so I was in Cleveland this weekend Gilbert and I
I don't know if you guys know this but I played the hilarities comedy club in Cleveland
I did two shows on Friday and then Saturday. I
show up to the show
And one of the managers said hey
I'm an old man called in today to the box office and gave you a review
that they wrote down
from Friday night from Friday night and
So he hands me this note and he says this is my review on Bobby's show. He was crude
What was it also all the Twitter picture you post? Yeah crude and tasteless tasteless. Yeah, and my question to the manager is
Did I have to see that? Why did the manager? That's awkward. Why would you like?
Why would you give me that like not even a real comment card? No, it's like, okay, dude
You just sold this performer just sold all your tickets
Why on earth would you go out of your way to write down what a lady said over the phone?
And then hand it and then hand it to the guy that just sold out your club like that's the silliest thing ever
What's your relationship with the manager?
Well, he's new right. So so he was a new manager
He was young real fast and but the owner Nick found out about it and he went ballistic
Like he's the I'm gonna say this right now
And I know that I have relationships with many comedy owners and managers and I love them mostly
Nick the guy that owns hilarities in Cleveland is the greatest guy. I've ever met in show business
Dang, he is he looks like Robert Duvall. He's 83, right? He's really tone buff
He's just class and the reason why I play hilarities is because Sebastian Manascalco and a bunch of comics
Before I even ever played hilarity. You gotta play hilarities, you know, you're gonna love Nick and
It's not the the room that the people are nice. It's a tough room to play for me
Why do you say it's a market? It's not that it's like, you know, like for instance, if you opened for me
You would you you would have seen the difference between Cleveland and Irvine
Okay, you would have you would have felt it demographic wise just in every way just in the audience
They're nice
They're nice people hard-working people or whatever. They're just difficult to
The response isn't the same
If I play Orange County or San Francisco or Seattle, you can feel there's a cultural
Connection I see you're saying, okay
Yeah, with when you go to the Midwest sometimes there's that's not there, you know, and it's like and I can understand why this man
Wrote that review about me. It hurt my feelings. I didn't even hear it, right?
But you know, imagine a man who works at the steel factory. He goes to church every Sunday
He's got grandkids, you know, and he's um
He loves God
He by you know, he saves up his money. He sees this Asian guy on a sketch show
He decides I think you know, I'll watch him
He comes and I go up and I talk about how a tie hooker ate my butthole
You know, yeah, and I'm on stage and I'm reenacting how a tie hooker ate my butthole
You know, I mean for 15 minutes and you could see his I was I didn't see him but I can you know what?
Imagine that he's in there going
What is this?
What is he talking? What is he talking? What's a tie person and then at the end of my show
Me rubbing my taint against some, you know, I mean old ladies head
In the front row. I'm sure
He didn't like it. Did the stripping blit a bit play well there and that it plays weird
Yeah
So, um, you know, I got that review and then the weekend before remember I told you those 15 ladies walked out of my show
So it's like it's a little I'm a little sensitive about it right now even 20 years into the game
You are like you've been doing this for so long like having to call us to yourself
Enough to wear when someone says, oh, you're tasteless. No funny. Nope. It's still no
Nope, I don't think that because when when you know, I'm not at your caliber and not even close
Not even the same you're beyond that but when someone when someone says something to me
That's just like unnecessarily harsh and unnecessarily like, you know calling like y'all fuck you just a gold digger blah blah blah
It doesn't it doesn't bother me, but it does seep into my my subconscious
I think and it does cause like a certain degree of like unhappiness because no matter whether or not you tell yourself
It shouldn't bother you. It's it's being absorbed, right?
So I'm thinking it never goes away. This is always gonna hurt
Even that audition today hurt really eyes are watering. No, you're not. No
Oh, I mean, I I walked out of this audition and I literally thought I did a good job. I
Really did I went I knew pretty much every line. I
Delivered the way I wanted to deliver every line off book. I was off book and I just the cast writer hated me
You know me and I walked I was on Sony lot and I'm walking through and then I ran into a
A bunch of writers for Chelsea's Chelsea show on Netflix
You wanna her new one and I talked to them for a bit and I auditioned with I mean Josh Wolf
Was on you know, so he was at the audition and Joe Coy was there too
You know, so it's like
But when I got into the car
There was just like a real depression and like it was almost like I've been through like a minor rape
Really? Yeah, especially since you thought you you said you did well. No, but that's not it's not it's not
Doing well. You know, I mean, I want them
To like it. Oh, I see you're saying like if I'm if I feel like oh, this is good
But they're not liking it. That's almost kind of worse because then I questioned my instincts
Well, maybe I did it wrong. You know, I mean then then, you know, it's a nightmare
But it never goes away
And you know, I'm better about it, but you know, I'm a sensitive person
And I and I try and it's embarrassing
It's embarrassing to have 15 people asked for their money back
You I mean at a show. Yeah, you know, it's like no we hate him. We want our money back
Right and you're kind of going. Oh
Oh, I hear take it take it, but it's like
Why? Yeah, it's a funny, you know, let's cheer him up. Tell him what George Kimmel told us. Fuck George Kimmel
Hey, he loves you. We just
Gilbert just met him today. George Kimmel is going to be our new video content guy. So he's gonna be number four
Number four man, I mean, I love George Kimmel for Tiger Belly. He's gonna be creating all of our yeah
We're gonna do videos soon guys. Tell Bobby what George said about parks. Oh
My god, right. So apparently George has a friend George friends family owns parks or something like that
Yeah, and so George told the story about our picture hanging on in parks barbecue to the owners and they were like, oh, yeah
We love Bobby. They were laughing and now they actually want a real picture with you. No
No, I
Will not it's too late for that parks. Okay, I've eaten there every day for fucking five years
Okay, and no
no picture
Okay
Bobby would give you the best beef. Did they keep our photo up there?
I think they did they kept it if they keep the photo up there. That's fine because that's that was like espionage shit
Okay, but I will not take a photo with those fucking gooks even if they do a ceremony. Yes, I would do it then
Call ABC news
And then here's another good news. Did you finish on making a murderer? He never will so just stop asking. No, I'm waiting for Eric
Okay, I made no sense. I know I have time
Okay
Okay, I know you're busy
Okay
for me, I
just
Went to Cleveland. I just banged out five shows. I did two days of press. Okay. I got back
yesterday, right and then
You know, I had to memorize my lines for an audition this morning and then I just did Joey Diaz's podcast
I mean, I've you know, it's just I haven't slept that much, you know, ask Kalyla
You look a little pale. I look pale. I still had time to watch plays like a couple hours of fallout and watch a movie
Okay, in fact, I've watched four movies since Thursday and I did all that
Okay, you fucking
Cocksucker, I asked you to do one fucking thing, you know is to watch all of making a murderer
And you still haven't done it because you're a part of the show and it's a part of your fucking job
I'll watch it. No, no, no, you won't and I don't want you to watch it now
I can't watch it now because he doesn't want it anymore because they kind of tell you this right now
Yeah, you're on fucking thin ice with me
No, not hey, man, I'm not fucking around
He's unfireable now. We can't fire him anymore. Yeah, we okay fine. We but I can also go you know, I don't want to do this anymore
All right, and you I'm at the brink
All right, I asked you to fucking watch 10 episodes of making a murderer and you can't will do that
How do I redeem myself by watching 10 episodes by tomorrow by tomorrow?
What what what episode are you on right now?
Five five. I know he's by tomorrow
Bread I don't I watch it like three weeks ago. I stopped at five last episode. You're at five. Yeah, you're coming over tomorrow, right?
Yeah, nine nine. What already at night PM PM when we come here at 9 a.m. No 93 p.m
You have to watch five episodes by then
Okay, it's gonna be tight. That's not me tight. You're gonna do it
You're gonna cancel everything you've already what do you have to do tomorrow? I have to work work where
Lift because I have no money to pay rent by the end of this month. He drives people around. He's like a new bird
How much money do you need? I'm not gonna have you pay for you. I'm asking you're asking that specifically. Yeah, how much money do you need?
700 you need $700 by when?
By the first by the first. Yeah, okay. This is ridiculous. And how much you're gonna make for tomorrow on lift?
I'll probably try to
Pump out like 180 200 and that's like seven six hours. You can make 200 bucks tomorrow
I'm like seven hours. Yeah, I'll give you the 200 bucks
Stay home and watch it. I'll watch it. I'll figure it out. I will get no no
You know, I'm Asian. I can't I don't care. I'm gonna give you the $200 so that you can watch making a murderer
Why don't Asians use the ebt card? What's it? I can't use ebt. He doesn't even know what is ebt the food stamp thing
I can't do we don't do food stamps, baby
Why is that I'd rather fucking died?
I want to know the psychology behind this because I know that my mom even in like our lowest moments here in America
She was like nope. Nope. Nope. We don't do that. Yeah, my dad would my dad would have sliced his arm
And we would have to eat that
There's no way we don't use government help
When I moved here had no money
Is that how you got all your cockroach bites on your chest and belly move to LA
I lived on a garage and on the ground for a year. Oh
Oh, you live in a house like we're 20 people
We are going to go back to why we're excited about making a murderer again
Oh, right. Okay. Here we go. So I saw a documentary called
Um dream killer dream killer
And dream killer is a a documentary about a kid named Ryan Ferguson who was wrongfully accused of a murder
All right, not just accused convicted convicted of a murder and he
Spent 10 years of his life
In an innocent kid and but unlike steven every ryan ferguson was actually an educated kid
from a well educated a really
Elge well educated mother and father
And he had a great life and um, he absolutely didn't do
What they said said he did and he spent 10 years
But anyway at the end of this documentary hang on tell him why he was convicted though. That's that's an interesting part
Murder. Yeah, why he was convicted. There was no physical
No physical evidence tying him to the scene of the crime and what it was basically his friend
Who was a drug addict who two years after the murder happened?
He had these
Visions that he did it or dreams and dreams that he did it with ryan. So he called the cops
You know me because I think I might have done that and then they coerced a confession out of him
You know, I mean like they did in making a murderer and then ryan ferguson
Who was just this innocent kid who happens to know this guy?
That was the start. Yes memory vision some kid had a dream. He called 911
He says I need to get this off my chest and he basically places himself and and and ryan ferguson
In the crime scene and he admits to it and he
Fuck yeah, I don't know where
Yeah
What's the shit out of that? It's in missouri missouri in columbia missouri. So then what happens is obviously when you're in a situation like that
You need good family. You need family members that's going to dedicate their lives
And getting you out and he had a dad, you know, I mean that just completely dedicated his life
To getting his son out of prison, but he got a lawyer by the name of kathleen zelner
From chicago from chicago
So check it out. I'm watching the dream killer
And this I literally go wow this
Lawyer's fucking great. Bobby says, you know what? So then I told kalilah
Uh, what I said he says
I'm gonna go as far as to say she might be better than dean strang and jerry buting who were
steven avry's defense lawyers
And I and I thought to myself wait a second
My mom just told me that steven avry has a new lawyer. That's a woman
And so we quickly went into google
To see, you know, who his new lawyer was and of course, who do you think it is zelner? Yeah, it's zelner and she exonerated
Ryan Ferguson Ryan Ferguson is out and you know what this lady says? I never lose
damn
Yeah, so now steven avry has a
Hot shot chicago titan. She has one of probably one of the best defense attorneys in the country of our time apparently
And it's so cool. Dude. This bitch is so badass. She she has this um
Usually I don't trust people with bad eyebrows
But there is just something about the way she looks because she you can tell she's had a stroke
She has a little like she talks only at one side of her mouth
But there's something about the way she looks that is so intimidating
And it's so just like makes you so proud to be like a woman. You're just like, yeah, fuck. Yeah
Yeah, she she just looks like somebody that like like stir shit up. Yeah stir shit up. Yeah, and um
Yeah, I'm excited about it, you know, and I would really like to talk to it further with you
But I can't because you haven't seen it at all
Making the murder or the making a murderer. Yeah
Yeah, so you can't even share our excitement. I can't you can't share in our excitement
and um, you really just really fucked up
Sorry, yeah, I mean so I want you to apologize to me but insincerely
Look at me and Kalyla in the eyes and with a sincere apology
I apologize for not watching all 10 episodes. You're smiling. You're smiling too. I can smile because let me let me do
I'm doing Kalyla first. All right. I'm gonna say this right now. Okay
If I see a smile
I get 20 of these wax on your arm the wax
Okay, if I see a smile and then you're gonna do me if I see a smile you get 20 more wax
Apologize to Adé first. Gigi boy. Go to
Adé, okay. Address me as Adé
Adé Kalyla. Yes, Gigi boy. I'm sorry for not watching all 10 episodes of making a murderer. You're forgiven Gigi boy. Thank you
Look at me in the eyes and call me Appa
You're gonna call me Appa that I haven't said yes. I can laugh. It's fine. All right, but I'm gonna give you 20 wax
Don't say Appa though. You have to say call me Appa. That's what they call you Appa. Yeah, you do
Appa
You have to look at him
Chill chill chill. I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh. I didn't laugh. I know you have to say Appa again. All right
From why are you so red? I can't look at you because the time you're talk to you're done
You have to look at me in the eyes from Appa to the end of it. All right. Now look at me right now
Appa, I'm sorry for not watching all 10 episodes of making a murderer. I apologize
It's good. He did it. He did it. He really did it. You did it. Wow. That was really good. Your face is good on that one, too
That was really good. It's a light on your cheek muscles. That's why yeah, thank you so much Leslie kind of acting
Thank you. That was very very good. Should be so we accept your apology and by tomorrow. You better have that shit finished
Speaking of that
Eric Griffin, right? We're gonna do that. I called them. I think he's in Sundance. So
Can we stop promising people? We're gonna like, you know, record a making a murder
I'll tell you something right now. Okay. Um
Sometimes we say things. Sometimes we don't and sometimes we follow through and sometimes we don't and that's that
You know, I
Say they lie. I have a deceive. Yeah
You know, it's like
I am grateful for people listening. I love everybody and but the thing is is that sometimes we say that's all the things
And sometimes we don't
There you go. You know boom. I have a problem. What?
I I don't know how to deal with it, but my 14 year old niece is starting to rebel and she's openly
She's openly satanist
She's not a satanist because um, she really
Hasn't done anything with her life. Which one is it? Did I meet her? Juliana? Yeah
Oh, the one I like
Um, yeah, she's a really sweet girl. She's always been very very shy that girl. Yeah, very shy. What is she doing?
She's and I kind of give her props for this but she
You know, she's openly said that she's starting to get curious about drugs
Oh
And I don't believe and then she has friends that dabble and your advice was
Um, this is my my advice and you know, most people will probably disagree with me
It's like I don't want to meet curiosity with resistance and punishment because I don't I feel like
A teenager is just then going to run away from you and not share
So I told her it's like look if you're curious, that's fine
You know we can and when you're older we can do marijuana together when you're older
We can try certain things together and like appease your curiosity
But you got to promise me one thing do not touch meth because it's so rampant in the Philippines
Like whatever you do don't touch shabu and this is verbatim what I said
When your Tito Bobby was 11 years old. He tried meth and he ended up sucking a boy's dick
Okay
She said Tito Kaila. I promise no meth because I don't want to do
Did you fucking really say that?
I'll show you the message
I can't fucking believe this shit. Give it. Give it to me. Hang on. I'm gonna show it
You said that I sucked another guy's dick. That was your scare tactic
My scare tactic was like no meth because this is what your Tito Bobby did. Oh my fucking god
She's gonna associate Tito Bobby with fucking fucking dick meth dick
Look
Read it
Okay, it says
Your Tito Bobby did shabu when he was 11 and ended up sucking his cousin's dick
That's how bad shabu is
And it's so bad. And then this is what you said in the third thing... Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha haopus
You're a fucking bitch sometimes. I'm trying to give her an honest
Not everyone needs to know that I did meth and then sucked somebody's dick
You say it so many times
Not obviously
Okay. How old is your is your niece old enough to know that that's a possibility if you do meth
14
Yeah
No, I wanted to scare her. I scared her straight. I think you did. Yeah, it's a girl though, right?
Yeah, but it's an incest I scared her with
You don't think that was a good move guys
Teenage girls said that to you like that. Have you tried meth and what was your experience today?
Would you like not say that of my son? I would look him right in the eye right now play our right tiger belly
Okay, go ahead Gilbert. Hey dad. I want to do math. Oh
You want to do math? Yeah, well when I was 11 years old
I did math and I sucked my cousin's dick and I came in my mouth
I swallowed it dad too much dad and then a week a year later. I did it again, but I wasn't on that dad
Stop I wasn't on math. You gave it. No, no, no dad you gay. No, and then your uncle Gilbert
He does that every day still doll. He's so gay. Oh
Oh, I feel like maybe I did her a disservice. It's fine, babe. I don't go fuck
Do we have any mess up? What is it? What do you call the lifestyle with the thing you do at the end?
lifestyles with
Bad advice was a helpful advice. That's right
Unhelpful advice with Bobby Lee and Kalilah
This is from Robert. Hello tiger belly. I'm a white guy and I work with lots of Filipinos in the hotel industry
I've been wondering
Filipinos pisses you off. Let's go. I've been wondering why some of them have such unusual and unique first names
I've held off from directly asking them in fear of being offensive or insensitive
So any insight you could provide would be great interests
For example, some of the names of Filipinos at work are Mayday Fritz Zeus
Princess G-Lord Konki Pearl Angel Jollibee Glechster Torbic and Dinky
Well, I think some of them made their own names. No, that's yes, that's actually part of it Torbic
That sounds like a Star Wars thing
That's a what's this question. Okay. Yeah answer you. What do you think Bobby? Why do Filipinos have these names?
What was my doctor's name? No, no, you had an experience with this when I was in the Philippines and I was in the hospital
What was the name of my doctor? I forgot doctor. I forgot dum-dum. That's right. What why would your doctor name?
It's pronounced in my language is doom-dum, which is a pretty common last name
But it's D-U-M-D-U-M
But when I was dying Bobby's like wait, what's your name and he goes my name's doctor dum-dum and Bobby just lost his shit right
I laughed. Oh, okay, dude. I remember now. Yeah, he goes. My name is dr. Dum-dum and I just I
Out would laugh you gotta be fucking kidding me. I said you're the doctor. It's gonna save my girlfriend's life
Yeah, I don't know anything about
What's your theory? I don't fucking know. I went over there and I don't even get it
You know me like one street. There's like a dying lamb in a fucking
Shit River in another street. There's a fancy donut shop
You have to be careful about the things you say about the Philippines. I just like China
They will ban you. I just said that there was a fancy donut shop, too
But then there's shit River they ban Alec Baldwin and the Beatles. That's good company though ban me
I want to go there with you. Okay, so to answer this guy's question
So we have dr. Dum-dum right my own family members. These are the names that I have in my family
We have chick chick twinkle
Oh
Take it say that one
Say it slowly. Oh, oh, oh, oh, can you say it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, I know what it means
I think there's no way to do it try it
Yeah, you got it. That's perfect. He chucking and then my sister's name is honey loose
Co-in his nickname is honey. Oh my other sister in the Philippines honey loose not her real sister
It is my real sister not biologically. She's my biological cousin, but she was adopted when she was 12
So yes, it is my real sister and in the Philippines. We have a an archbishop. His name is Cardinal sin
SIN. Oh, that's interesting fucking figure. Ironic the sister of our president her name. She's a girl. Her name is Balzi
Okay, Manny Pacquiao's daughter. His name is Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, I know that one. That's weird
And you have you always get names like tita boy girly and then you have this is really really popular
It's called Jejomar and it's a shortcut for Jesus Joseph and Mary. Is there like
Retraction period with Bobby Lee rewind
Say again, but say something different say something. Hi guys. Do you have to forgive him say something else?
Right now. Just say
What I don't know. I just thought
Okay, retraction period again with Bobby Lee rewind
Say something else. We're back in time. I don't know
That's better than the other one. All right, we'll leave it at that
Are there Korean nicknames like that no my theory
All right, this we can't get past this guy
Oh, so what's the theory my theory is that Filipinos genuinely like have a flair for the for the funny and catchy
Like they have, you know, like our culture is like a combo of like Chinese
Spanish-American and I think that's monkeys
Oh, Kalala's gonna stab you you're gonna get her banned from her country her boyfriend
They get her banned from her country
You gotta bleep all that the monkey bombs
They're gonna bleep all that. Yeah, I didn't think it was very weird when everyone was like up in arms and Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter
Apple I'm like, God, I didn't even fucking bat an eyelash to that. That sounds like a perfectly normal name
That sounds great. Apple
Yeah, so is there any other helpful advice? We have one more. Okay, wait, what are the names?
I have Filipino nicknames for Bobby. Oh, yeah, Bobby and me. I call him. I used to he hates Bobby Boy
So I stopped saying that. Yeah, so I call him pop-ups. I love pop-ups Bobo. Oh, that's cool
I'm young young boy. Honey boy. Yeah, honey boy is good. Yeah, so I mean, you know, I
Want for Gilbert? Yeah, he's Gigi boy for skin
Gilbert's Gilbert's not Filipino
What are you guys doing he's trying to tickle my nut sack with his feet
Klaus stop this
There's nothing I can do to protect you Gilbert. Hi guys new listener. Hope you read this message
Now to the subject on your episode toothless in Seattle Bobby was called out about his poor diet how he doesn't get it up
I have the same problem with my 22 year old boyfriend one and a half year relationship
He started eating healthier this month, but only eats one meal a day overweight tired a lot in smoke
We have sex one time a week one time a week. I am in good shape and I know I look good naked
But he's never in the mood
He refuses to seek medical help and he's tried supplements, but those don't really help
We've had some drama too so that could be it or maybe he's just not attracted to me anymore
Clueless in love, but what do I do? Please let me know how you deal with it. Kalilah. You go ahead, sweetie
What do you think 22 year old can't get it up ED?
Well, that's a little too young for me very young. Yeah, it happens does it? It's crazy. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty young
Because I mean imagine I'm when I was 22
I used to fuck dirt. Oh, I mean, I'm just you know, I mean like I could stick my dick in a pile of dirt and get hard
You're good. Yeah, it's like you're you really, you know
So that's really young, but I don't know I mean
I don't know about it might truly be an actual physiological problem. He might truly be
somebody who has a
True form of erectile dysfunction
I mean, obviously if he's fat and he's not taking care of himself like psychologically that might there might be factors
Involved like he doesn't like himself. So he doesn't get turned on. He doesn't like the way he looks naked
Blah blah blah, but I'm willing to bet because I know a lot of fat boys who
Aren't necessarily like confident either, but who have no problem getting it up
So so how does she deal with it? I as a woman? I would I
Would go see a doctor. I would convince him to go see a doctor
but I wouldn't take it personally that you're not sexy because I think there is a
Medical thing going on. Yeah, I that's exactly right. I wouldn't take it personally like if you were in my position
I you should take it personally because
You know your boyfriend's just not trying to have sex with you and it's sad and
And all that stuff, but
So go get seek medical help. It'll be good. This is this is really unhelpful advice really living up to our name
Go see a doctor. Thank you so much. Um
and
Oh, I'm so sorry today's podcast has been really weird because of my energy. I just I feel like I did get a contact high
But hey, everybody keep listening to our podcast. We're just
We're growing and um, you know, I'm I'm soon. I'm gonna be on open
What's it called Jimmy Jimmy and I'm gonna I'm gonna do all that and I'm literally
Getting the word out about our podcast. I really believe in our podcast. I believe in this camaraderie and I believe
We had we're gonna have merch soon. We're really gonna get our stuff together
So I really appreciate that you're listening to us and um, I just feel great about 2016
Boom Lila shows for Bobby
Bobby is gonna be at the Houston
Fucking say that word. Why do you always do that? Can I restart over? Okay ready and go?
Bobby is Bobby is gonna be at the Houston
improv
February 12th through the 14th and the weekend after that in
Schomburg at the Chicago improv and then March 4th through 6th
He will be at the San Jose improv in San Jose, California
And those are the only dates I have for now. Do you have any shows?
Yeah, guys, you can
Find me sitting at home
Twiddling my thumbs and picking my nose
Somewhere in Hollywood. So if you enjoy that type of entertainment, just you know find me in Periscope and
Or you can show you live on at Calamity. Okay?
I want my I wrote the lady who has my handle. It's as if it's my handle
Should we have them all everyone try to message them? No, there's a lady who goes by Kalyla
And I think that she named her daughter Kalyla
And she has one picture and she hasn't logged on in 187 weeks and I emailed her and I was like, hey like my name's Kalyla
Too, can I get you know, can I buy the name off of you and she hasn't replied?
So I'm guessing, you know, you're stuck with Calamity. No, I like Calamity K
That's always been my pseudonym. If there's nothing, you know, I have no issues with it
Just you know, I want to be Kalyla again, and we have a time for a quick MMA minute. Do we?
Yeah, it's gonna be literally a minute your thoughts right away on Ronda Rousey hosting SNL. I
I think she's a badass bitch, and I think that
Some of her sketches were good except I wouldn't know because I couldn't get past the opening monologue. I
I
I I
Couldn't get past it. That's just me and I think I'm sure a lot of people thought she was amazing
I I'm more concerned with how in the hell she's gonna carry a whole movie on
her back
Without any real like acting or comedic chops
So I'm hoping that Roadhouse is going to be
Strictly like more of like a physical
Martial martial arts combat type of movie where you know, it's like it's like how Keanu was on
The Matrix the Matrix it's like a couple lines. I know
Trinity like that's that's basically
That wasn't that bad that's all he you know those were that was the extent of his acting
So I'm hoping if that's the case like she'll she'll do just fine, but based on that opening monologue. I
Yeah, I'm worried. Yeah, I'm worried lover though more party you Ronda. Good job for trying new things
All right, so what you got Gilbert? Are we done here?
Oh, we are done here guys
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