TigerBelly - Episode 28: Shangra Lee
Episode Date: February 10, 2016Bobby is spineless and accepts that he is Chinese.Khalyla believes there are more Lees than Smiths.Willow and Jaden Smith might soon have a flirty Filipino boy for a stepdad.We talk baby name...s, Asian shame, and a niece named Larry. Â Recorded February 09, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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My name is Bobby Lee and God, wow, what a wonderful group
we have here today.
We have Kalyla and Gilbert and it's really stuffy in here.
And what an interesting day I had.
I went to this Korean spa, the one on 6th Street and I made the biggest mistake in my
whole life.
I told many, many years ago, Polly Shore about this spa.
I said my dad used to go do it in the 60s, it's open 24 hours, it's on 6th and Ardmore
in LA and it's the best kept secret in LA.
Not anymore.
You basically told everybody exactly where it's located.
Just now?
Yeah.
And I think in the previous, you said Ardmore too and it's a small street.
Also in a previous podcast, you gave the name away.
Hyundai Spa.
But anyway, once again, I did it.
And so today I went to the spa because I'm really sick, right now I'm under the weather
and I wanted to steam it out.
And what I like about the spa is it's Korean, it's always Korean people, whatever.
I go in the steam room, I come out and this is what I hear.
Chinese people.
Oh God.
And granted, there's probably 80 Korean dudes just sitting around and then I try to ignore
it.
I know who it is.
You already know.
Because who yells out Chinese people in front of a bunch of Koreans, naked Koreans, men.
One guy.
Pauli Shor.
Yep.
I look over and he's smiling.
He's in the hot tub.
I guess, I love Chinese people and he goes like this, Mao, Mao, Mao.
He starts saying Mao because he's seen like those Vietnam movies, war movies so many times.
And I had to go over there and I said, what's up dude?
He's like, dude, I love China.
He just keeps saying China and it's like, it's the same thing is like, I can't correct
him because he owns the club that, you know what I mean, that I play at, you know, he
pretty much gave me my start.
You know, Dice does the same thing, Andrew Dice calls me Cha-ching.
But it's that old 80s like, you know what I mean, comedy.
Term of endearment.
No, racial term of endearment.
Because he was raised with, people don't know this, but Pauli was raised with Asian bartenders
in the 70s.
All of the comedy store bartenders were Asian and they raised him.
And so he, the Shor's love Asians.
They just don't know how to behave in front of them.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
They'll like grab, he'll grab.
They love him so much.
They literally think only Chinese people exist.
All Asians.
That's how much they love them.
They didn't even bother to learn about differing Asian cultures.
Yeah.
Only one exists.
All the bartenders in the 70s were all Thai.
So they're not even Chinese.
Yeah.
So where is he getting Chinese?
I don't know.
But he says it when he brings me up on stage, he goes, his next kind of kind of the stage
is my favorite Chinese comedian, right?
And you just have to like, grin and bear, and there's nothing I can do.
I love the guy, but it's just a little embarrassing when he yells it in front of like 80 other
fucking Korean dudes.
Oh man.
You know what I mean?
They're all looking at you like, you're weird.
Like that's your friend?
Well, no.
They all look at me like I'm Chinese.
Yeah.
Oh, he's a Chinese guy.
He's a Chinese guy.
Yeah.
But I don't know what to say to him.
It's because we're doing this tour together.
What is that tour?
It's called Comedy Party.
It's with me, Harland, Tom Green, and Pauly.
Oh.
And it's Harland Williams, Tom Green, me.
And then we're going to go and do a couple of shows, see how it goes.
I don't, you know, I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
I mean, I know how Kalala feels about it, but, you know, I said yes and I'm doing it.
I plead the fifth.
She pleads the fifth.
Oh, which means you're very excited.
Very excited for him to do that.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I'll just be honest with you.
I love Harland.
I love Tom.
I think Harland's hilarious.
Yeah.
I think Tom's hilarious.
I think Tom's funny too.
And I love Pauly.
Pauly.
You know, so it'll be fun, you know, whatever.
I was only against it when initially they tried to name the comedy tour the Hasbens.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's when I was like, um, definitely not.
Definitely do not partake because I mean, yeah, it's like, you know, but that word, it's
like Hasbens or whatever.
It's like, I've accepted it.
How are you a has been you haven't even ever been.
Yeah.
I've never made it yet.
Yeah, it's like, if you hit up the pinnacle of your career, if you hit a very sharp peak
and then you fall off from there, then yeah, yes, you are a has been, but you've always
had a very, very gradual, gradual climb.
Like you've never been in anything so big to where you become like universally or like
a household name.
Yeah.
I'm a loser.
Except that's like, Netflix love is coming up.
Oh, how do you know?
Because you promoted it many times already.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm barely in that.
And um, you know what, dude, it's like, kind of just, I want to be real.
The real thing is, is that fuck following your dreams.
Fuck it.
Because it's like, I've been thinking about it.
Is it worth it?
I mean, all the years of like trying and failing and I'm only saying this because it's pilot
season and I've been going out on stuff.
Yeah.
And it's like, it's just nightmarish, you know what I mean?
Like Friday, I went on this thing.
I thought it was a shoe in, you know what I mean?
And it's nothing.
They hate me.
How do you know they hate you?
Because I did not ask.
Excuse me.
Do you hate me?
Yes.
No, but I have my guys do research.
Okay.
Who likes me?
Who's fans?
Who's not?
Whatever that kind of thing.
Good news for you, Gilbert.
Yeah.
I'm probably not have to wait two weeks until all the names.
No, I have better news for you.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
There's a new app called bro.
And it's made for gay men, quote, heteroflexible men or straight men looking to have sex with
other men.
Well, I'm not interested in that app.
So this app bears no sexual labels.
You don't have to say if you're gay or bi.
You can be completely into women and just have the curiosity.
Let's suppose like, you know, you're a straight guy and you're like, you know what?
For once in my life, I just want to see what that's like so I can get it out of my system.
The curiosity isn't there.
And for all you know, your dick could lay flaccid.
You could be like, okay, my dick's not getting up.
Hey, I know my dick's going to lay flaccid.
Yo, dude, check it out.
What?
You?
No, check it out.
Listen to what I have to say.
Okay.
Good.
So what?
Let's create a profile with Gilbert.
Yeah.
I think so.
Please.
Just for fun.
Just for the podcast.
Okay.
Bobby will too.
Bobby will too.
No, I'm not going to.
He's already explored.
I can't do it.
I'm here and let's, so we'll put a profile out there and let's just see who you match
with.
I know.
I'll match.
Very confident.
Well, that's cocky.
I'll be cocky.
That's why.
Where's Gilbert's phone?
We're downloading the app tonight.
Yeah.
Give me the phone right now.
I'm going to do it now.
Not now.
I'm kind of upset about the name of the app bothers me, bro.
It seems so just, like no one thought that over well.
What would you name it?
Kinsey.
What?
Yeah.
What does that mean?
Kinsey is the one who said none of us are 100% straight or 100% gay.
We all fall in somewhere in the middle.
Not all of us have a 4.0 GPA.
Well, I'm saying like, you know, if you watch movies, there's a movie about him and there's
tons of, you know, information about him.
Oh yeah.
You know Kinsey?
Yeah.
So what does he say?
So he says that.
Is it Alfred or Albert Kinsey?
I don't know who the fuck you're talking about, but either do I fuck him that he said
that.
Yeah.
So Kinsey.
So Kinsey, in the Kinsey scale, he basically says like, let's say it's Alfred Kinsey.
So let's say that, I don't know how he does it, but on a scale of one to five, five being
100% gay and one zero being 100% heterosexual, no one is ever a zero or a five.
We always fall.
I'm a 0.1 though, for sure.
It would definitely, in your number, I think I would give you like a, at least a 2.5, like
right in the middle.
That's fucking the stop.
You're pushing it way too high.
You're pushing it way too high.
Let me just say this.
Kalyla, I swear to God, I'm not a 2.5 in that scale.
So you, okay, cause 2.5 would then be bisexual.
Between five.
This isn't even the right scale.
We're just, I'm just.
All right.
So I'm not 2.5, right?
Okay.
I'm probably an 0.5.
I think you're at least a 1.5 then.
No, not a 1.5 because there's only two guys at fuck.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm Hardy and David Duchovny.
Oh.
What about the model?
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
24.
23.
23.
Raise it up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How, how many guys, who would you fuck?
How many guys would I fuck 0?
No.
Who would you fuck though?
Who would I fuck?
Yeah.
Would you fuck Christian Bale?
No.
Dude, come on.
Come on, Gilbert.
Even for a story.
Even as a secret.
As a secret?
Yeah.
Not Christian Bale.
He's very mean.
Okay.
I don't want rough sex.
He'll pull your hair.
The way he talked about his wife and his Oscars speech saying that she was the wind behind
his sails or the mast in his ship or something like that.
That's what he says out loud, but who knows what happens behind closed doors.
You're trying to say he hits you.
I'm Batman and he hits her.
You're trying to say he hits his wife.
You think he backhands her?
I don't know.
But let me ask you this.
Who?
I honestly don't have one.
You don't have one guy that you would fuck just for funsies.
I don't want to say it.
You have to say it.
Now that you said that, you have to say it.
It's because of his music.
Who is it?
His skin complexion.
Bruno Mars.
No, I'm not going to fuck myself.
I'm not going to fuck myself.
Yeah, who?
I'm better than Bruno Mars and I've said that.
I'm going to say that right now.
Who is it?
I'm better than Bruno Mars.
No, not Drake.
John Legend.
He has a song called Miami.
John Legend.
Who?
Pitbull?
I'm not fucking Pitbull, man.
His wife is gorgeous as well.
Jada Pinkett Smith.
Oh, Will Smith.
What?
You would fuck Will Smith.
You're into, but you have Jungle Fever.
How's that Jungle Fever?
Because you're the only, wow, you would fuck a black guy first.
That's very bold of you.
But he's the right black guy.
So how would you do it?
So let's approach.
Then when you said that, it's like very convincing to me.
My hair is in the back of my neck.
It's very fucking gross.
That's very homophobic of you.
Let's say that?
Yeah.
Well, then Touche.
Speaking of homophobia.
Yeah, I apologize.
No, but I was going to get a listener.
I'm going to score this for a second.
Okay.
So what you're saying is this.
Okay.
Look, it has to be-
No, just listen to what I have to say.
Okay.
Listen to your-
They're making After Earth part two.
I'm talking about fucking Will Smith pre-After Earth.
Independence Day.
Will Smith.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
On the rise, Will Smith.
Oh, you like on the rise, Will Smith.
Bad boys, Will Smith.
Oh, bad boys.
Turn down the Matrix, Will Smith.
Okay.
Oh, he turned down the Matrix?
Yeah.
Which is a great move.
Wait, wait.
Good career move.
Or else.
It's so funny how some of these actors like Sean Connery-
What's supposed to be in what?
He was supposed to be in Lord of the Rings.
He was asked to be like Gandalf.
Him as Gandalf?
Just listen to what I have to say.
And he said no to it.
Obviously, he's not in it, right?
But then it became a big hit, right, Lord of the Rings.
So he was telling his agents, like, get me in one of these movies.
So guess what movie that he got in?
League of Extraordinary Men.
Extraordinary Men.
He has no idea.
That's pretty shitty.
Yeah.
He doesn't know, like, he just thought that it'd be the same thing.
Like, give me a franchise.
Yeah.
Like, he's like, oh, that did well.
Yeah.
I mean, now it's over.
You know, he should have done Lord of the Rings.
Have you turned down anything before and regretted it?
No, I've not shown up to auditions.
I regret it.
Which ones?
Yeah, I'll name you only one that I regret, which was Knocked Up for Ken.
For Ken?
Yeah.
Ken got it.
Yeah, I regret that.
Is it because you didn't want to do the accent?
No, it's not that.
It's just that I was so nervous.
And Ken didn't do an accent in it.
He didn't do an accent in it.
He was an American, like an Asian-American doctor.
That was a hangover.
He did an accent.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you're talking about, oh, shit.
Yeah.
And I was in, it was for Judd.
Yeah.
I remember being in the parking lot and there was a lot of pages for some reason and I got
really nervous and I didn't go in and the Ken got it.
So you were actually on the lot?
Oh, I was showed up.
Yeah.
Oh, damn, man.
Yeah.
And apparently like Seth and Judd were, you know, they're waiting for me or whatever
and I didn't show up.
And I think that burned a really big bridge, obviously.
But I feel like Ken would have gotten it anyways because he's a doctor in real life.
Yeah.
But at that time, he hadn't done hangover.
Nothing.
That was his first thing.
Yeah, it was his first thing.
Um, yeah, not that, I mean, I'm glad Ken got it.
I mean, Ken's had a great career.
I'm not jealous.
I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm just mad at myself for letting fear dictate some of my decisions.
And I've done that in my career where I was so afraid to go in because I didn't want to
bomb and I didn't know it.
You know what I mean?
The material that well that I now, I mean, with Kalyla, I go in pretty much every time.
We got into a huge argument on the side of the road sometime last pilot season.
Last pilot season.
So we had before last pilot season, him and I made a pact because, you know, I know his
history of not showing up to audition.
So I told him, it's like, look, like let's, let's turn, you know, turn over a new leaf.
Let's, you know, shake on it.
You're going to go to, you know, 10 out of 10 of the auditions that you're, you're asked
to go to.
So he agreed to it.
We shook on it or whatever.
So he got asked to audition for the show called problem child, right?
And on our way there, he pulls over to the side of the road and he says, I'm not going
to do it.
I can't do this.
I'm not going to get it.
There's no way I'm going to get it.
And I get out of the car onto the grass and I basically like scream, scream.
I was like, you're, you're, you're breaking our pact.
It was crazy.
He calls his manager and he's like, you know, I'm not going to go in and Kalyla's yelling
at me to go in.
She says, I'm a fucking pussy that I'm spineless and I'm blah, blah, blah.
She called me every book.
I yelled.
I was so upset with him because I'm like full on rage.
I went rage mode.
It was a side of the road and it was crazy.
Like I was sweating.
I'm like, this bitch is going crazy.
It's a scene basically.
It's a scene.
Okay.
So finally he says he concedes and he's like, okay, this is after like 30 minutes of like,
you know what I mean?
Like we parked aside, the side of the road and then we got back in the car.
We stopped again.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
I looked at him.
I was like, what kind of person are you?
Who are you?
How did you even be seen?
Do you, do you know, I just went into it and I, I was so upset.
So finally he's like, okay, I'll go in just for you.
Okay.
So then check it out.
And then you go in and it was one of those auditions where everyone was there.
Oh, not in terms of studio.
No, no, no, no, in terms of who's auditioning.
He's still pissed at me.
The whole way there.
The whole way there.
He's like, you know what?
I'm going in just for you.
I'm going to show you that this is traumatic and I'm going to fucking prove to you that
I'm not going to get it.
Yeah, yeah.
Like he's that.
He's upset with me.
I'm upset with everyone.
Like I'm not going to name who was there, but it was like the first 10 people I saw in
the lobby were all people that are working and killing it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then in my head, I'm like, this is going to be worse because I have to follow all these
people.
Anyway, long story short, I got it, long story short, I killed that audition because I walked
in, right?
I walked in and that one of the producers was somebody I'd worked for before was my friend
Scott.
I didn't know he was producing it.
So I go, oh, fuck it, Scott.
And I read it from the page.
Like I didn't know it at all.
So you're reading an off book.
You just came in.
I just literally called.
The reason he was so sure that he wasn't going to get it because it was written for
a guy who was supposed to be Portuguese.
So the breakdown is what, 30s Portuguese guy?
Yeah.
Like even his name is like, it was like Pargo.
Like it was some weird.
It wasn't for an Asian guy at all.
Yeah.
That was the name.
And so, yeah.
I would have reacted the same way.
Pargo.
Yeah.
But then I, then I, the read was awful.
I left and then we came home.
Oh, so the read wasn't even good.
No, it was awful.
I went to play Destiny and then, um, at like five hours later, I got a call saying, you're
going to test.
And he was so afraid to tell me that he, yeah, yeah, because now, yeah, now I have to look
at her and I think they're going to, they're going to test me like, like, and then she was
going to go.
I fucking told you.
Right.
Yeah.
So that happened.
And then I tested Monday, but then I knew it inside and out.
Yeah.
And then I got it.
And it didn't get picked up.
And my dreams got fucked on the toilet.
Fuck you, Hollywood.
But doesn't that feel like some type of retribution for your old self because then you're like,
you proved your old self that it's like, look, it was traumatic, but I got through it and
I got it.
So I mean, that was, I mean, those things, I don't mean, I don't, Gilbert, I don't know
if you've been on in those things, but on the network level.
And it's literally before the week, you're literally auditioning for executives and you're
in this stale office up on a fucking, it's so uncomfortable.
And it's like, you go in there and it's like, you don't get laughs.
You feel like, you feel like you're bombing, you know what I mean?
And then it's like, you go home and then, you know, it's just awful, the whole thing.
I hate it, but you do it because I have to do it, you know, and I've been doing it this
week, you know, I have another one Thursday, you just fucking do it, you know what I mean?
But, but now he's equipped with beta blockers.
So I saved my career because of Whitney Cummings.
What do you mean?
Whitney Cummings.
I shouldn't say this.
Beta blockers are off label use for anxiety.
It's no problem.
It's not a, it's not a, it was like, I said, like years ago, I said, I, some auditions,
I kill it.
I go home.
I get so nervous.
She goes, I just use beta blockers.
Everyone does.
Yeah.
And I go, what are they?
And they really fucking help.
Like they literally, here's what it, here's the difference between me on beta blockers
and not.
Okay.
So basically what it does, it stops the adrenaline flowing through your body, right?
That's how it's described in terms of layman terms.
It just doesn't make your heart beat fast.
Okay.
Yeah.
Right.
And I don't shake, and when you mess up on a line or a joke, your head, when I'm not
on beta blockers, it goes, you like, you're, you're fucked.
They know, you're mean, you're eating it.
And then all of a sudden it just, every other line becomes worse and worse.
And now you're lost in the, it's awful, right?
But what beta blocks have later blockers have done for me is when I mess up to, I just kind
of go, all right, you messed up, just move on.
You know what I mean?
You're not frenzied or frenzied or feeling.
Yeah.
It really is just a, a life-saving.
You don't crumble.
And that only, you know, a lot of actually like keynote speakers use it a lot.
People who, um, like TED Talks.
Yeah.
TED Talks.
Like TED Talks.
A lot of people, but you, you can't use it every day or like long-term because there
are a lot of like heavy side effects.
And I used beta blockers for, for the last two years and I was miserable.
I was depressed.
I couldn't get up in the morning.
My blood pressure was low.
So I mean, I, he was lucky that I had like an, you know, an oversupply of beta blockers
every time he would go and audition.
So I would just give him one because I had, my heart met was a beta blocker or one of
them was.
Yeah.
It's really, um, it's amazing.
So before every audition, beta blockers.
Yeah.
Or even when I, if I'm shooting something big, like when I shoot love, I take them.
But stand up.
No.
I mean, that's his.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's comfortable there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But if I do take a month stand up, I'm, it's much better.
No, seriously.
It's like limitless.
It's like your.
I just feel.
It's limitless is actually based on a different type of pill called Provigil.
And Provigil is, it's, because in limitless, it, I, it doesn't say like technically what
pill it was, right?
It was something synthetic that they made.
I don't remember the film quite well.
It's the movie with Bradley Cooper.
Right.
And it's still called Provigil and it's for people with narcolepsy.
So what does that do?
Narcolepsy is when people fall asleep, like out of nowhere, right?
So Provigil keeps them awake, essentially, because we had some, when I went to Ibiza with
a few of my friends, they, you know, they brought some Provigil with them and it kept
them awake for two days, energized and everything, but.
So what does that do?
Does it make you nervous or do it just keeps you up?
It just keeps you up and moving, but it doesn't, it doesn't, it's not an anti-anxiety
med.
No.
Not by any stretch.
If anything, it might give like the opposite effect.
Um, yeah, but limitless is more like Provigil.
Beta blocker is, it's almost like a downer.
It's an anxiolytics.
It brings you down.
Um, it's, it's a lifesaver.
For him, yes, because I can, I can definitely tell he's one of those people that's very
much in his head when he performs and every little thing he falters on could break him.
Like he crumbles when he knows he's not doing well.
He can't reset.
He can't restart, um, but on beta blockers, you know, um, he, he can, I can, but I wouldn't
recommend it for anyone just feeling mild anxiety.
You know, I, I, I wouldn't.
That's not.
Here's what you, here's what you don't know yet.
What you don't know yet is, is that you're going to, because you're like very confident
and you say, if you get an audition, you can't wait cause you're going to kill it, right?
I tell myself.
I don't say that.
But what I'm saying is, is this, is that here, I was like that too, right?
But then you, you're confident like that.
You go in and you kill it and they, then you get the call.
You were awful.
You in your head.
You thought you killed it.
Right.
And you get enough of those.
You start questioning choices and choices that you make and all of a sudden you're like
this fucking wreck, you know what I mean?
Because a young Bobby Lee, when I got Matt TV, very confident, you know, when I booked
a bunch of commercials, I was very confident.
It's only after Matt TV when you would get calls like, yeah, he just was awful.
And in your head, you're like, I killed it.
I fucked with you.
Yeah.
Right.
And then you, you start questioning.
It's like a frat.
It's a fucking, it's a fuck.
You get fucked mentally, you know, and it's like, you know, but you have to do it to work.
It's fucking crazy.
I cannot even begin to imagine what you or Gilbert or Jenna go through with auditions.
It even, it pains me.
I mean, you did do Battle Long Beach.
What the fuck?
Whatever.
Whatever.
You did do that.
I will bury that video forever.
We got to keep, we got to.
Can we just have you do the first part of it just for the audience?
Yeah.
You don't have a video.
Just for the audience.
I don't remember what I said in it.
Kalala, three, two, one.
Welcome to Battle City Long Beach.
I don't remember the rest.
So good though.
So good.
Oh, hold on.
Hold on one second.
Hold on.
Kalala.
One, two.
I don't remember what I said.
Gilbert.
Oh, wow.
Something about fighters.
Oh, no, hold on.
Fighting has always been a something, something part of something.
That's what the fuck.
I would say cut.
Cut.
Another girl.
We get Bobby Lee in here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys, that was a favorite to a friend.
That was a sizzle.
You know what I love about it though, too, because you could see that you're a little nervous,
but your eyes got a little crossed.
You know what I mean?
And you're trying and it's really funny because your face is moist.
You know what I mean?
The sweat, the sweat.
My face is always moist.
Very shiny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have a question for the audience and maybe even Gilbert if they can answer this question.
So last, over the weekend, Bobby and I, we were watching a football match, a Premier League
match.
It was Lester City versus, who did Lester play?
Man City.
Oh, they beat Man City, right?
Dang.
And there's this guy on their team.
I think his name's like Adam Smith or something.
Adam Smith on Lester.
James Vardy?
No, no, no.
There's another guy.
Not James Vardy.
It was another guy.
Oh, that guy was Smith.
I think it was Lester City that we were watching.
Yeah, it was.
Or it was Burnmouth.
Oh, that's right.
It was Burnmouth.
It was Burnmouth.
There was a guy on, Burnmouth played Arsenal and there was a guy on Burnmouth named, the
last name Smith.
And Bobby goes, oh God, I would hate for my last name to be Smith.
You said, right?
And I said, why?
Why would you hate that?
He goes, I was just the most common, just overused name ever.
And I was like, um, your last name is Lee.
She's about some crazy shit.
No, his last name is Lee.
It's like one of the most common Asian names ever.
So then he goes, there are far more Smiths than Lees in LA.
In America.
In America.
All right.
In Asia, and I had the last name, if I was in China, my last name was Lee, then it would
be like, it's like the Smith of Asian last name.
We were talking about LA and I said, I'm willing to bet that there are more Lees in LA, LA
proper than Smiths.
Okay.
So how can we figure that out?
I don't know.
Here's someone Google it.
Can you Google it?
Smiths versus Lees.
Yeah.
It's going to be like a band.
Because if you think about it, I mean, we have Koreatown here and white people are a minority
in California.
You know, I know, I don't know, I know about probably 200 Koreans on a personal level.
None of them.
Their last name is Lee.
Can I just say on a list called most common last names?
Yeah.
Number one in the list is Smith.
Exactly.
After that is Johnson, Williams, Brown, Jones, Miller.
Right.
But I'm talking about Garcia.
Garcia is big yet because that's the Spanish people took over every country.
Lee, number 22.
Thank you.
You're between Lopez and Gonzalez.
Exactly.
I know I win the argument.
Thank you, Lord.
In LA.
In LA.
What is that?
What is that list?
That's just United States.
Yeah.
In United States.
But we were talking about LA.
Even LA, bitch.
It's going to be fucking Smith, bitch.
Kuhn is not on the list.
Yeah.
Also, that's not my last name.
That's true.
I don't know what Kuhn is.
Me either.
You guys don't even know his name.
My last name.
Kuhn.
Oh, yeah, he does.
Oh, Kuhn.
Yeah.
Do you have a middle name, Gilbert?
Liko.
Is it Liko?
No.
What is it?
Liko.
Yeah.
I have a white name.
I know my whole fucking name.
Liko is not a white name.
Liko is the back.
That's your new name.
What is your story behind Liko?
Hold on.
Liko is your mom's maiden name.
It's a weird fucking last name.
Yeah.
No, that's not a middle name.
Oh, I don't have a middle name then.
Yeah.
Liko.
Because it's Liko.
Oh.
Which means the turn.
Yeah.
Gilbert turn gate.
What?
Fuck.
Liko.
Liko.
You know his?
Do you know your master's name, Gilbert?
What is it?
Chance?
Chance.
Yeah.
Bobby Chance, please.
It says with a Y.
Yin?
Young.
Young.
Young.
Young.
Yeah.
Bobby Young.
Do you know his Korean name?
Bobby.
Sungwoo.
Oh, Sungwoo.
Yeah, you mentioned that.
Sungwoo.
That's a singer.
That's like a whatever.
Do you know my middle name?
No.
Do you know?
Don't say it.
Santos.
No.
It's an actual middle name.
My mom's maiden name is Avis, which is her Filipino name.
So that's my Filipino name.
Calyla Marina.
No, it's my parents really fucked me over with this one, you guys.
I already know it.
What is it?
I know you know it, but I've never, I never say it to other people because it sounds like,
like it sounds.
Just say the name.
Can you say the name?
She's not going to say it.
It's Shangra.
Like Shangri-La.
Yeah.
Thank you, sweetie.
Shangri-La is a nice name.
Shangri-La means paradise, right?
You're half the paradise.
Do you know what my dad explained it to me?
Not a full paradise.
My dad was trying to make up for it because I think he realized that I hated my middle
name because I was like, what the fuck is a Shangra?
You know, like that just sounds, it sounds angry.
It sounds aggressive.
Shangra.
So he's like, oh no, you know, it's a mix between blood and paradise like Sangre, like
blood.
And then Shangri-La was like this motherfucker just got creative.
He just made that up.
Can you give your kid any middle name?
Middle name.
Yes.
Like cabinet, linen.
You can do that.
You can give your kid your first, like any name at all.
So I could like name my kid Sam in the middle name.
Yes.
That's so fucking long.
You would hate that.
I know.
But that's the middle name.
So if you guys had to give a middle name or an first name, boy and girl, if you're
a child together.
Middle name?
Full name.
So first name, middle name.
And I don't know who it takes.
If it takes Lee or.
It would take fucking Lee fuckface.
No hyphen.
Why not?
Forrest.
You know that Zoe Saldana's husband took her name, her last name after they got married.
It doesn't have to be.
And I actually learned this, you know, when you say Mrs. Mrs is actually very, very sexist
because it's MRS.
Right.
What it actually means it used to bill.
It's misters.
So it's a possessive term like for instance, this is what I was told by my speech professor
when she was, she was like super feminist.
She said that the MRS actually means Mr. So you belong to him.
A woman actually belongs to the Mr. Does that make sense to you guys?
But we talked about baby names, even though we don't talk about babies, but.
So first for boy and girl, what names have you guys heard?
For a girl, I like the name Amihan.
It's a Filipino name and it means trade wins.
Okay.
Okay.
Trade wins.
Lee.
Yeah.
Amihan Lee.
I think that's middle name.
So middle name for that.
Fuck a middle name.
Gilbert.
I thought you want one.
Senkula.
We're not, we're not having a kid yet.
I'm going to improvise when we see it.
I'm not going to name a kid until I look it in its eyes and I go, I'll, it'll come to
me.
Okay.
Right.
You named our puppy Pongo.
Like I'm afraid you're going.
Well, that's what came to my heart, you know, and our baby that we murdered was what
was her name?
What?
Fucking two face.
You called her two face.
That's horrible.
No, I called her Harvey Dent.
Harvey Dent.
Tell, explain to Gilbert why you call it Harvey Dent.
Because when we went to a pan planned parenthood, they said to get, they took a pill because
it's going to kill it.
And so she took the pill and I took the abortion pill first two weeks later, we go back to
Planned Parenthood.
To get an ultrasound.
It's still alive.
It's still there.
I have to say it's a bird of a cock.
Oh, come on, man.
Harvey Dent.
Oh, hey.
Retraction.
It was only seven weeks.
I know.
And can I just say something first?
It wasn't an easy decision because I didn't even know this was the same time that I found
out I was actually, I found that I was pregnant after I had already received a lot of anesthesia
because I needed a bronchoscopy because I had a large mass in my lungs and they needed to
do biopsy to see if it was a cancerous.
And then on top of that, I was starting to get like my heart symptoms.
So we are going through a bunch of different tests and CT scans and imaging, which is not,
which you shouldn't do with a pregnant woman, right?
So that baby would have come out with like one eye, I think, like Cyclops.
Anyway, so we had to abort it.
Yeah.
And also Christians are listening.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not making fun of it.
I shouldn't have said the Harvey Dent thing.
I'm saying this is that I'll never do it again.
So if I get, we get pregnant again, we're going to keep the baby.
And I feel, I felt bad about it.
Did you really?
I really did.
You were hysterically laughing when I showed you the picture.
Okay, well, I laughed, yeah, because I'd never seen a fetus like that before.
It was seven weeks.
It looks like a little dot, like a little, yeah, but my point is, is that in retrospect,
I feel really bad about Harvey and should we name in honor, then should we name Harvey?
No, let's Harvey is a great name.
Yeah.
Speaking of names.
I just found out that I have a brand new niece and you know what the fuck they named
her in the Philippines.
I have a niece in the Philippines who was just born and you know what they named her?
Larry.
Is a man.
It's a girl.
It's a girl.
A little baby girl named Larry doesn't matter.
She's on an island somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.
It doesn't matter.
In America, she'd be bullied.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
They're in an island.
You know what?
So, so one of my, her uncles who's, so the mother of Larry, her brother, who's my cousin,
do you know what his name is?
Harry boy.
H, like, like, you know, dirty hair in one word, H-A-R-R-Y boy, Harry boy.
His family's lost their fucking minds.
And then Harry boy is going to grow up and he's going to slice, you know what I mean?
Larry in half with the fucking machete.
Boom.
Come on.
They're not all killers.
Tito Carlos.
Like what your uncle did.
Come on, Bobby.
Be nice.
I wanted to address something and I'm going to have you chime in on this.
What is it?
It's nothing to do with you.
I'm not going to say anything about you.
You're pregnant.
No, no, no.
So there was, you remember how we talked about a few episodes ago?
We talked about Asians not immediately jumping on getting the EBT card or like food stamps
and stuff.
And then you said, oh, you know, my parents would feed me the skin off their arm before
we would get an EBT card.
So we got a very, very, very angry email from this girl who.
Do you know the nationality of her?
I don't give a fuck.
I mean, she, she, she was really, really upset because she was like, you dirty fucking
Asians.
She didn't really say it like that.
She said that.
No, she said, I don't know about Koreans or whatever, but you know, Vietnamese people
and Filipinos, you guys, like all especially Filipinos, she's like, don't even get me started
on Filipinos.
But apparently she was talking about where she lived and like Westminster, like close
to Long Beach, which she's right.
She's right.
There are a lot of like, you know, they do get a lot of Asians, you know, receive government
funding there and you know, assisted, what is it, those housing assistants or whatever.
And she was really upset that we had said that.
And I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't saying poverty doesn't exist in the Asian
community.
I wasn't saying like Asians weren't a problem minority.
What I was saying was that like many of us, like culturally, because we don't like to
outwardly say things, many of us don't like to admit that we're struggling and just culturally,
like as Asians, we don't like, it's not our first thing to be like, Hey, we're struggling.
We need money because we, for fear of like further discrimination, right?
I want to back, can I back it up?
Yeah.
I want to back it up by Cho Sung-Woo, Virginia Tech, so Virginia Tech, the Korean dude, right?
You can never, you can't find any, you know, photos of his parents or interviews with his
parents, right?
Because what happened was as soon as Cho Sung-Woo shot up the Virginia Tech school,
other Koreans harbored the parents and they smuggled them out of the country, right?
We're so ashamed when shit like that goes down that we're willing to like harbor people.
You mean that on the down low and just, and well, no, we'll like, if, for instance, if
I saw Asian homeless guy down the street, I'd be coming down.
Oh, I see.
You're right.
Right.
And just you live in the closet.
Yeah.
Just don't go out there.
You know what I mean?
Because it's so shameful, you know?
In fact, when I see an Asian homeless person, which is rare, I spit on him because I'm gonna
help them.
Nope.
No, I know.
I just so disgraceful to me.
You know, it's like, you know, it's like, you know what I mean?
It's like, you got to represent, you know, and it's like, when I see an eight, it's like,
what kind of parents did you have?
You know what, though?
We do.
Spit on it.
Oh, right in their face.
Statistically, we actually have a higher percentage of poverty versus whites or any
other race.
Like, if you look at the Asians in America, we have a higher poverty rate than, than white
people.
What?
Yes, this is true.
Where?
So 12% of Asians, 12% of Asians are actually under the poverty line versus 9% of all white
people.
But still, there aren't as many Asians here.
There are white people.
So technically, that's why you have, you know, visually more white people that you see.
But all I was saying was that by no means was I saying that we don't have, you know,
impoverished Asians here or that we're not, we're like a fucking model minority because
we're not.
And I know what she's talking about.
I know how certain Filipinos are, Vietnamese, Hmong, Koreans, whatever.
I know how they exist in LA.
All I'm saying is that we're not so outwardly, like, we don't outwardly admit easily that
we were getting some type of assistance.
And let's say, for instance, because Gilbert and I have friends, white friends who will
go to Whole Foods, right?
Whole Foods is a very, very expensive grocery store with their EBT card to buy a $9 bottle
of alkaline water.
Yes.
Proudly.
I have somebody in my family, like not blood related, but, you know, someone in, you know,
my stepdad side.
And she lives in a well to do middle class neighborhood and she has an EBT card.
All I'm saying is that there's more of a shame that's coded in the Asian community.
Like we're not allowed to talk about our struggles as freely as other people.
Yeah.
Like even if we have, like, I remember there was a, this guy I used to, that I used to swim
with in high school, he overdosed.
He was an Asian guy.
He overdosed on drugs.
The family wouldn't tell anybody else that he overdosed.
They said, oh, he died of like, he, they made up a fucking disease.
They made out of disease because they were so shameful.
Oh, well, my parents, when I went to three rehabs, none of my other family members thought
I went to rehab.
What did they say?
I went to boot camp or something like that.
They would never say that he went to a drug rehab, you know, it's the same reasons why
if you see like, you know, like some of my actor talk about like, you know, how they
made that movie 21 about those MIT students and most of them were Asian guys when they
cast the movie, they cast white people.
And the real reason why Holly can do that is because we're the one group that doesn't
have a voice that stands up and goes, no, you're not allowed to do that, right?
Cause we're so submissive and quiet.
We don't want to stir the pot.
So it's like, like that other Emma Stone movie with, what's that called Aloha?
Aloha, I mean, she was supposed to be half Asian, you know what I mean?
If it was, the character was half black and they cast a completely white woman, it would
never happen that way.
Except, Joseph Fiennes is playing Michael Jackson.
Yeah, but Michael Jackson wanted to be white.
No, he said he had vitiligo, but he instead of fixing and like putting himself all black
again, he just went in the direction of the, of being white.
He just whitened himself in terms of, let's go back to the Asians though.
It is detrimental that we don't like outwardly speak about our struggles.
I don't think, this girl seems to think, the girl who wrote the angry email seems to think
that I'm saying, oh, we don't talk about, you know, government assistance.
And I'm saying that's a good thing.
I'm saying that's a bad thing.
I, if you, if you are in need and if you are a family who needs government assistance,
you should be, you should say it without shame.
Like we didn't all come here under the same circumstances.
We all come here as refugees of war, seeking political asylum.
Not everyone comes from a first world country.
I was saying it in the sense that it was detrimental for the Asian community altogether
to not come out and say, you know what, we do need help.
We're not a model minority.
We have a high poverty rate within Asians in America.
So this bitch got her fucking panties in a, in a, in a, in a jam of her ass and she wrote
an angry email and look like, if you want to come on the podcast and, and, and say your
side by all means, but I think you are wrong.
You got to pay for your own airfare.
No, she thinks she lives in LA.
Oh, sorry.
Just drive, just drive here.
This just reminded me of when I grew up in San Diego.
My father had these clothing stores called fashion gal and we lived in a nice house.
You know, we did.
We had a swimming pool.
So we had, we belonged to a country club nice.
And then my, my dad had a store in Sacramento and, um, he lived up there.
And so, and he worked hard.
He worked like 20 hours a day, never, never stopped.
And we went up there one time to see where he was living and it was literally like a
one bedroom, but no furniture at all.
Not even a table.
And he slept in a sleeping bag in the corner of the city.
He had this like Mongolian's pot.
You mean that he would like that used fuel to, you know what I mean?
And that's how he ate and he lived like that for years.
So my, he, he worked so hard at every single dollar went to either my drug habit or, you
know what I mean?
Like luxuries that my parents, my, my mom and my brother could have, but he didn't, you
know, it just, I don't know why that all just reminded me of that.
Does it make you sad to think about it?
Yeah.
It makes me sad to think that he, um, the heat, all he did was work and drink.
You know?
And, um, he didn't have much of a life.
I don't think you don't think he was happy doing that?
Or I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, I don't know what a man would do.
He would drive up to Sacramento, right?
Just straight work all week and then drive back.
That was, you mean that was his life and he did that for like five or six years.
Yeah.
So it's like, and the way he lived, you know what I mean?
He lived in squalor, you know, with like literally no towels, use paper towels to watch
to dry himself off.
You know what I mean?
He was just like a very simple, hardworking man, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, um, I kind of have a similar sentiment about my, um, my dad and it's something that
I don't really like to talk about to anybody just because I always want to, when I think
about him, I always revere him, you know, I always think about him as this like strong
like James Bond type who, you know, who spoke eight languages, who was well traveled, who
came from money, you know, I just want to remember him as this, um, you know, this sort
of force of nature.
And the truth was, you know, the reason we came to America wasn't because we could.
It was because we had to, we, we had, my dad had lost all his money that he had invested
in Mexico when the Pesto crash.
We were basically skating on thin ice and my dad lived on skid, my, okay, so he left
us when we were 12 and he lived in America for two years before my mom, my sister and
I followed him and he lived in skid row during that time.
He was living on government assistance and welfare.
He tried to get a job at UCLA as a French professor, but they were ages and he even died
his white hair, um, red to try to get the job and because he was in the seventies already,
they said they said that because he had, I mean, my dad was a doctor, you know, he had
his doctorate and they said that he was too old.
So they hired a younger, less, um, you know, less experienced teacher or professor.
And so I remember he would write us letters and he worked as a security guard in a warehouse
and, um, there's, there's so much like a part of him that I always wonder like how do you
go from being this rich heir to, you know, to being an hotelier, to being this well-traveled
man to living on skid row off of $800 a month and he was sending us money to the Philippines
while my sister and I, this is why my sister and I were forced to swim.
We paid for our own rent.
We swam for the Philippine national team because we had to.
They paid us money.
They paid us a per diem.
They paid us monthly.
They paid for our clothing.
So my mom was, became very militant about making sure that we always train twice a day,
that we always got, you know, that we always won competitions because we needed the money.
So by the time we came to America, um, it was actually not my dad's money that brought
us over here.
It was with the help of a church.
So the Nigerian, like a Nigerian church, my dad had befriended at this church that would
drive down to skid row, um, every Sunday and they would bring homeless people into their
church and they would feed the meals and they made my dad an elder in the church.
And the church was who ended up paying for a ticket to America from my mom, my sister
and I. And we, they helped us to pay for a $400 a month little shack in Pasadena infested
with roaches.
But I remember thinking like coming to America and thinking like, my God, like we made it.
Like we were, this is like a dream is the American dream.
There's a KFC down the street.
Fuck the cockroaches.
You know, my dad slept on my, he gave us my sister and I the only room in that shack
and him and my mom slept on the floor for years.
This was my high school life.
And this is unbelievable.
This is what, this is the part of my dad that I was always ashamed to talk about because
I want to people to look back at the memory of him to always think that that's Edgar.
Edgar was a boss.
He was a mafioso.
He took care of people.
He had loads of money, but the truth is he died a really, really poor man.
But in his mind before he died, he's like, I may not be rich, but I'm wealthy because
my daughters are, you know, they may not have a lot in their pocket, but I taught them right.
They're good girls.
They work hard.
They're kind to their mother, you know, and so in that sense, it's like, I think about
it now and I'm like, you know what?
I should talk about that part of my dad being poor and leaving this world with not a penny
to his name and leaving us with not a penny to our names, but it doesn't matter.
Like, I shouldn't be so ashamed of that part of me because that was my high school life.
And that was the end of his life, right?
And that's why you talking about that right now made me think like, why as Asians are
we so afraid and so dishonest about our struggles?
Like, why was I so, for so long, ashamed to say that?
I didn't have, we didn't have a car and we had, my dad traveled around in a bus pass,
but so did I.
I was like, that's great.
That's character building.
Like, I should, I should have never felt ashamed to say that and I feel guilty for ever feeling
that shame.
Yeah, it's a cultural thing, I think.
And I think that it's something that we, you mean, should take a look at as a, as a culture
or as a group, you know, as a minority, you know what I mean?
And what a depressing podcast this was.
I mean.
You started.
I know, I mean, obviously I was bad son now, you know, but you have any questions or we
do have an MMA minute bringing that back.
Would you guys feel about the FS1 fights featuring Steven Wonderboy Thompson versus Johnny Big
Rig Hendricks?
Let me tell you about Steven Wonderboy Johnson.
Thompson.
Steven Johnson is a very deadly syndrome.
Oh, not Steven Johnson, it's Steven Thompson.
Steven Tommy.
Steven Tommy.
Steven Tommy.
Let me talk to him.
Wonder boy.
Wonder boy.
Wonder boy.
I, you know, Kalala before the fight, she's like, you got to look at his stuff.
I looked at his stuff.
He's extremely talented.
I'm a huge fan now and he destroyed Hendricks and Hendricks just had no answer.
You know, he in the beginning took him down in the first round.
Couldn't.
Couldn't do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And can I just sit?
Oh, I was going to say something.
I can't say it.
I just realized I can't.
About MMA or?
No.
It's just that, you know, Tony Hedgecliff, Tony Hinchcliff, Hinchcliff, Hinchcliff,
Tony Hendricks.
Jesus Christ.
What is all this names?
Tony Hinchcliff.
Yeah.
What about him?
He knows Johanna Jajak now.
I know.
He took a picture with her.
Are you jealous?
A lot of people tag that with Tiger Billy and your name.
Yeah.
It makes me so angry.
I thought you were going to meet her first.
I didn't know.
I'll never meet her.
This will break your heart even more.
She put it on her Instagram.
Oh, my God.
She posted a picture with the stand-up comedian Big Time.
I know.
I know.
And she wouldn't even reply to her.
No.
They text now back and forth.
No.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, because she's here in the States filming.
And he's not going to hook you up with, like, you know.
And it really, really makes me upset because fuck, fuck, man, let me say something right
now.
You're trying.
I told Joe Rogan.
I go, Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan, can you introduce me?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Right.
And it's never going to happen.
It's never going to fucking happen.
Happened for Tony.
Yeah, because he went to the fight, the fight where she was at, right?
He's never taken me to a fight.
He'll never take me to a fight because I'm not one of his openers and stuff.
I'm not a part of that clique, you know?
So it really makes me upset.
Back to Wonder Boy.
Great.
Talented.
It's great.
Talented.
Wonder Boy deserves a title shot against Overwoodley, right?
Overwoodley for sure.
Over Damien Maia, over everybody.
If it's not, if he doesn't fight Robbie Lawler, then I think that a good fight would also
be against Condit or Rory or Rory.
I love Rory.
Yeah, go ahead.
You think that he, what place is he?
Because he beat Hendricks.
Hendricks is what?
Sixth?
No, number two.
Thompson is now three, but Woodley stays at two and he didn't even fight anyone.
So Thompson is now the third ranked guy.
So what happened, sweetie, was that Johnny Hendricks was supposed to fight Tyrone Woodley
a few months ago, but then Johnny Hendricks didn't make weight and he had some like, he
cut weight.
He didn't diet right.
He didn't diet right.
And he ended up in the emergency room, so they had to cancel the fight altogether.
So whoever the winner of that was was then supposed to face Robbie Lawler.
But then since, you know, Johnny Hendricks didn't make weight against Tyrone Woodley,
then he then fought, you know, Wonder Boy.
And so I think that Wonder Boy is up next.
I want to see that fight like yesterday.
Yeah.
I think that because Lawler is not a moving target, he stands there and he brawls that
I think that Thompson is going to pick him apart.
Pick him apart.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I think that he's going to destroy him.
I think so.
I, you know, he had a little bit of a late start in MMA, but that guy has what, 47 knockouts
out of his like 50 something professional kickboxing bouts and that's nothing to, you
know what I mean?
Like that's, he's a dangerous man.
But he can get caught.
Like I've seen a couple of times where people have hit him and he's had to come and try
to.
Well, Matt Brown beat him.
Yeah.
But that was before he knew it.
Chris Wideman, he's training with Chris.
Yeah.
But yeah, he's an exciting prospect.
And I like that, that, you know, father, father, son tandem.
It always tugs at my heart because his father is like what a seven time black belt and you
know, from South Carolina.
Would you guys put your kids in martial arts or keep them away from that?
I don't want my kids to have chronic traumatic and sep, and sepulophathy.
I want my kids to play soccer, but if they don't want to do that, whatever, you know,
I still want to also want to congratulations to DP because he's because he DP is in Puerto
Rico shooting a television show called Startup and Crackle is doing it.
Crackle.
And it looks like he has a really good part because we've seen his scripts.
Okay.
Well, like he'll, he'll take photos of his scripts.
I got to work on my scripts and he's working on a lot.
And I think it's really exciting for him.
Yeah.
For that fan.
So congratulations, dad.
If you're listening, yeah, you know, keep it, keep it going.
He doesn't even know we exist and he's doing a full body transformation too for the role.
Yeah.
He really is.
He is.
There is documentation.
It's like Christian Vale in the machine.
Yeah.
He's doing that.
You know, full 10 pounds.
He's doing what D'Nero did for Raging Bull.
Exactly.
He gained 150 pounds.
So this is a serious role.
Serious.
He's really serious.
He's hovering around 10 pound loss.
Oh, wow.
Staying character.
Staying character.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's get a question, Gilbert.
Okay.
But really quick, just so you can see this, he's a before and after where he looks very
different.
Wow.
Did he really just post that?
He just posted a before and after.
Did he just post that?
Yes, he did.
I'm going to lose my fucking mind.
I'm going to lose my fucking mind.
Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalilah.
This is a long one, so we're just going to fast forward to the actual question.
This is from Jay.
What is the worst thing one of your exes has done to you?
How did you react?
Did you do something stupid like I did and it ever crossed your mind?
How did you get over it?
I don't know what you did, but what's the craziest thing an ex has ever done to you?
And how did you guys react?
I think Bobby's only been bad to his exes.
I don't think they've been bad to him.
Really?
No exes ever?
There was a girl.
There was a girl name.
No rule, remember?
No more names.
No names.
There was a girl when I was a kid, early 20s, I had a hard crush on her.
I worked with her at a restaurant and a huge crush, like total, what's it called?
Unrequited?
Unrequited love.
Oh, it's from your diary, your journal.
Yeah.
Oh, we didn't say her name.
It's Anna.
It's Anna, right?
Yeah.
So, and when she started dating Dave, her husband now, I decided that I'm no longer
going to allow a woman to make me feel that way again.
She wasn't an ex though, right?
She wasn't, it wasn't even anything, right?
I just didn't like the feeling of losing, of being, my heart being crushed over that
whole sadness that involved.
So I just will never allow that to happen, you know?
And so, I feel like being crushed like that is a part of life and that you'll learn from
those things, but I just cannot allow myself to do that.
That wasn't an answer to the question.
What's the worst thing a person has done to you in a relationship, Bobby?
That's why, because I don't allow that to happen.
She never even did anything to you.
Heartbroken.
My heart broke.
She just didn't reciprocate the love.
Doesn't matter, man.
You got to jerk me off, at least.
At least.
That's so gross.
We already know what Calala's was.
Is there anything less serious now?
What?
I mean, I got punched in the face?
And we knew how you reacted.
You already talked about it.
That wasn't the worst part.
Getting punched in the face was far less insulting to me than being cheated on, but
even the cheating was not the biggest insult.
The biggest insult was him not wrapping it up with a condom and then getting me sick.
That was a bigger insult, because it's like, wow, you actually have no regard for my health,
and now my vagina is burning, and I have no idea why.
But you know.
How did you react?
I mean, God, you really don't know how I ended things with him.
I told you I did the laundry.
I cleaned the house.
I walked the dog.
So weird.
He thought he was coming home to a home-cooked meal, which he did.
I actually cooked, left the meal there, and I left him high and dry for the rest of my
days, and I have not, you know, never even considered getting back with him after that.
I was like, you know, fuck that.
Fuck all of that noise.
But I will say that I wasn't always kind to people when I was younger in my relationships,
and I've had-
So you've treated guys like shit.
Exes like shit.
Yeah.
Bobby says, yeah, from afar, guys.
Not like I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt them, but I was reckless and insensitive
often, and I didn't consider their feelings like I thought that I was just being, you
know, you know, I thought, so oftentimes I thought I was just in a casual relationship,
like non-committal, and then I didn't know-
So it wasn't malicious, it's your oblivious.
Right, right.
It wasn't malicious.
It was always, it wasn't even that I was oblivious.
I just was, I was apathetic.
I was just like, okay, I'll just see where this goes, and in the meantime, they're making
like wedding plans, and I'm like, what the fuck for her?
We're just playing here, you know?
But then I spent a lot of my 20s apologizing-
Girl, that leads guys on when you were young.
I'm not even gonna lie.
I probably was at some point, but to all, to anybody that I've ever hurt in my past,
I've made amends with like-
That's good, though.
I've never, that's why one of my best friends now is my ex.
My ex between the ages of 17 to 21.
Is that the one you're also friends with, his wife and kids?
I'm friends with his wife, I'm their kid's godmother.
That's crazy.
I love that family.
I see him, you know, when they come to LA from Vegas, I, you know, they stay at my place.
Hashtag, our Vegas MMA insider.
Yeah, he is.
He's actually the, my, the only friend of mine that I talk MMA with the most, and you
know.
Oh yeah, and you too, Gilbert.
Thank you so much.
Any shows for Bobby?
Bobby is going to be at the Houston, I got it right.
Houston?
At the Houston Improv this Friday through Sunday with Candace Thompson, who was a very,
very, very funny comedian, and next weekend he is going to be at the Chicago Improv in
Schomburg, Illinois.
And after that, March 4th through 6th, he is going to be at the San Jose Improv.
Are you going to be at San Jose?
I haven't decided yet.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I will not be in Chicago anymore.
Sorry for some people that got tickets.
Why can't you go to Chicago?
Because I've been advised not to leave LA for pilot season.
Oh, for pilot season.
For pilot season.
Gotcha.
Even if it's for one weekend.
It's really because it's, yeah.
Gotcha.
I have to, I'm going to be getting the leftovers that people like Bobby pass on.
That's what I'm auditioning for.
Bobby doesn't pass on anything.
Okay.
Well, other people.
Other people.
Make sure you follow us on Instagram for the latest stuff at Tiger Belly and follow us
on Twitter at the Tiger Belly.
Also you can follow Kalyla at Calamity K, Bobby Lee on Instagram at Bobby Lee Live.
Is that correct?
Yes.
If you want to follow Peyton Manning, it's at Gilbits, G-I-L-P-I-T-S.
A lot of you have also been asking on Twitter and stuff about the video and that stuff.
That's coming out slowly.
It's going to be more a clip.
So don't get excited about a full video yet, Kalyla, explain.
We're getting on it guys.
We're working out of a second bedroom in our home.
So we're just getting the hang of actually filming our podcast and positioning the cameras
and getting all our, you know, we're lining up our ducks slowly, but so just be patient.
At first we're just going to put out a few clips of the episodes and eventually we'll
work our way into full episodes.
Yeah.
Couple of, yeah, let's just get some of those questions out the way and people have been
asking about t-shirts and merchandise.
That is coming as well.
Just be patient with us.
It's in process, isn't it?
Yes.
We're also actively in the process of making our t-shirts.
So sometime in March, hopefully, so fingers crossed.
And I know, and you know, we love you guys for supporting us.
It really means a lot that, you know, even writing comments, you know, we read every
single one of them, we laugh at them, even if they're a little bit harsh, we don't care.
Fucking trolls that just write gay on my Instagram.
Right.
I love you guys.
I appreciate your ears for listening to us and we will see you next week.
Bye.
Yeah.
And stay tuned for next episode because there may be a guest.
Bye.
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