TigerBelly - Episode 40: Man Up
Episode Date: May 11, 2016Bobby is Mr. President. Khalyla wants Bobo to let her in. Gilbert feels the pressure. We talk interspecies marriage, Rody Duterte, and libertarians.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/pri...vacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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5, do it. Start it again. George, go.
5, 4, 3, 2.
The Tiger Belly.
It's pinker than fuck. It's pinker than fuck.
It's pinker than the anals.
Than the anals.
Welcome to Tiger Belly.
I'm Bobby Lee. We got Kaliila.
We got Gilbert.
And we got me, Bobby Lee, in town.
It's gonna be a great podcast.
I can feel it.
I was in New York all weekend by myself.
Now it's pretty cool.
A lot of Tiger Belly people came out.
God bless you.
It's weird how you don't even know who listens to us.
We had a guy from the state country.
The planet.
Norway.
I think he was from Norway. His name is Austin.
You know how I do that thing at the end of my set
where I kissed that dude?
He opened his mouth.
He was tongue-kissed.
He was tongue-kissed a fan.
But that's not gay.
If you're a fan, no matter if you're a guy or girl,
and I tongue-kiss you, that's just me going thank you.
There you go.
And then we had this Korean dude
who goes, I was gonna fly out tonight.
That's how we talk.
I was gonna fly out tonight,
but then I saw that you were playing.
So I canceled my flight or something like that.
So that was nice.
But thank you, New York. I appreciate you.
This weekend you are going plug it right up the top.
You're gonna be in Phoenix this weekend.
I'm gonna be in Phoenix this weekend, stand up live.
And I'm competing against Theo Vaughn.
Theo Vaughn's in Tempe,
and I love Theo, but come to my show first.
Yeah, plug your show first. Why are you plugging him?
Jesus.
I love Theo, but...
Go to Theo's first.
Go to Theo's first, watch a couple of his shows.
Maybe go to mine.
And you have Money Saved, so come to mine.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, come to see me,
and I'd really like to see you people.
You desert people.
And then that's pretty much it, dude.
That's all we have for the show?
Yeah, we have this for the show, but that's it.
In terms of promotion, you know?
I've just been a little...
I'm excited for you, Gilbert.
Gilbert tomorrow goes into his Matt TV audition.
Ooh.
I saw your lips quivered just now.
I quivered.
And I emailed them to get you an audition,
and then I feel like your manager's taking credit.
Let's not do that.
I'm gonna do that right now,
because I feel like your manager's taking credit for it.
I thought that, too.
I thought that, too, and I want to say this.
Because I told him Bobby was gonna get me.
He's like, cool, I'll be looking out for the email,
because I'm trying.
He's like, I'm trying, but...
Yeah, no, he didn't do it.
I know.
And then guess who did?
Bobby Lee.
I did it.
You hear that?
No, no, I'm not bragging.
You're not bragging.
I just want the truth to be out there.
The truth is out there.
Because people take credit and stuff like that.
Look, if I win an Oscar, I'll fucking say...
No, don't.
It'll be weird.
No, it won't.
Because I'm gonna be like...
Before my...
And not even explain who you guys are, I'm just gonna say your names.
Yeah.
And that's it.
Yes.
And God.
Thank you.
I think it's credit.
I think it's credit.
And then, so what are you gonna do tomorrow for your audition?
We don't know yet.
No, I do know.
Fucking tell me.
Don't, don't, don't have to tell you.
I want to say it on the podcast.
Come on.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
In case there's more rounds of...
What?
Gilbert is very, very good at masking his nerves.
And I just want to let you know.
I know you're nervous.
That's why I'm bringing it up.
I told you, yeah.
And you also have two auditions tomorrow.
I'm scared about that too.
Those are already nervous.
Then I get the freaking thing.
Yeah.
So he basically has less than, what, 24 hours to prepare.
Yeah.
Look at me right now.
Man up.
Man up.
Sack up.
Sack up.
Yeah, I mean, listen, step into it and get these jobs.
Yeah.
I'm tired of this shit.
Just get it.
What the fuck, man?
You know what I mean?
I'm trying hard.
No, no, no, no.
You can't say you're man up.
Do it for the family, Gilbert.
Do it for fucking Tiger Belly.
I'll do your representing Tiger Belly.
The more you get famous.
Tiger Belly.
It helps this project out.
Yeah.
Are you going to leave us?
No.
Are you going to get all diva Hollywood on us?
Stop, stop, stop, babe.
I'm going to tell you right now.
You're putting so much pressure right now.
Gilbert, I'm going to say this.
You're supposed to be helping me.
This is not working.
I'm going to say this.
Say it, say it.
And I swear to God.
And I'm going to say this to the world right now.
Yeah.
If you get famous and you leave this podcast.
Yeah.
I will fuck you up.
Okay.
Why did you hesitate?
I didn't hesitate between the two of you.
You said, I said, I'll fuck you up.
No, no.
You said, I'll fuck you.
You looked at me.
Kalala caught you.
You said, I'll fuck you up.
No, no, no.
That's not what I did, George.
How did I say it?
Like he said.
Let me see it again.
All right.
Let me try it again.
All right.
If you get famous and you leave this podcast.
I will fuck you up.
Okay.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll fuck you up.
All right.
Because I'm going to say that would be the biggest betrayal.
Yeah.
Of mankind.
That would be like Shakespeare and shit.
Oh, damn.
That's high level.
And the revenge I'm going to get on you even more Shakespeare.
What would you do?
Poison.
I know she'd go for like death.
No, I wouldn't kill you.
She would hurt her.
Killing is not, is not vengeful.
Killing is putting you out of your misery.
I go, I go slow torture, baby.
I go waterboarding.
I do all like the, the, the classics.
Not me.
I throw all the classics in there.
I do human centipede shit.
Yeah.
You know what I would do?
You know what I would do?
You know what I would do?
What?
I would, I would hire a surgeon, a shady Russian surgeon.
Yeah.
And I would get, I would rent out a dungeon or a, you know what I mean?
A warehouse.
Warehouse, yeah.
Right?
Way deep.
It's like Deadpool.
Deep in the valley.
Deep in the valley.
Is he reciting the plot of Deadpool?
The plot of Deadpool.
The guy's name is Ryan.
So when you get, when you find out you have cancer, I'm going to take you into this chamber.
I'm going to have surgically, surgically, I'm going to add breast to you.
No, listen, and I'm going to convert your penis into a vagina.
Oh wow.
You'll wake up, you'll be scared.
But then you'll be like, oh my God, I have a vagina and titties, right?
And I'm going to tie you up.
Yeah.
Right?
And I'm going to hire like, probably a hundred dudes to just no condom rip into you.
Oh.
Damn, what's the-
Just don't leave.
What's the listing?
What's the listing for that to get all those guys?
What do you mean?
Like how do you even get a hundred guys?
I don't know.
How would you do that?
In Eastern Europe it's pretty easy.
No, but here how would I do it?
That's for actor's access or-
Because it's like, it's right, right now it's number one.
It would be, I would be, it would be rape.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
I'm holding you behind, what do you call it?
Hostage.
Hostage.
That's what you call it, right?
Holding me behind.
And then how would I convince them-
Why is everything trying to fuck you?
Yeah, yeah.
And then I would have, and then I would ask people to be, you know what I mean, involved,
be involved in this crime.
So it'd be very difficult.
I'd, I'd, I'd fuck you.
I would just fuck you and then-
You know what, fuck you.
But we'll have different masks to pretend like I'm different guys.
Different people, yeah.
I'll do different acts.
What's up, dog?
I'd be like, everything's so different but the penis is the same size.
Why is this penis so familiar?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not your butt, your vagina.
Your vagina.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And probably by, by the 10th time I do it, you'll probably climax.
Probably.
At that point I'll just-
And you'll feel guilty about it.
You know what?
You actually might because it's just like getting receiving anal.
Like the first time you receive anal, you're not going to climax.
No, it's true.
You, you, let me just say this.
I'm not a fucking doctor or a fucking medicine man.
You never can't climax off of anal.
Yeah, you can.
If you're like, you know what I mean, Houdini.
Especially as a man because that's where your prostate sits.
There's no, I've stuck in my fingers in my butthole on the research.
Thousands of times.
Thousands?
Like I have not done my job as a woman.
There's no pleasure zone there.
Oh, let me find it, baby.
If you just allow me.
I'm not going to allow you to find it because there's not there.
You always bite me.
It's there, I promise.
Just let me in.
There's a billion dollars in this room.
No, there isn't.
There is.
I mean just because you say something.
Let me in, baby.
Let me in.
You're not going to be in tonight.
You let me in.
I've stuck my.
Okay.
How about this?
I've taken shits before.
How many shits have I had?
Millions on millions.
No, no.
How many?
Like I probably once a day.
Yeah.
Oh, it's good.
365 days a week here for how many years I've been alive for a long time.
Yeah, but it comes out differently.
It's in one shoe.
But I've had some hard ones.
I've had some hard, petrified shit.
It's a lot of fiber.
Hard.
And you never jizzed.
Never.
It doesn't feel orgasmic.
Because I have to come in at an angle.
No, there's no, there's nothing there.
Just let me in, baby.
You know who supports that?
It's Allie Wong.
What?
The man trying anal.
She messed it up.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
Oh my God.
She doesn't act.
Yeah.
Allie Wong's special just came out on Netflix and I love it.
I gave it five stars.
Oh, nice.
It's just so refreshing to see like a small pregnant Asian woman talk.
Dirty.
As she does.
She wasn't pregnant when she did it.
She said jungle Asian.
Was she pregnant when she did?
Seven and a half months pregnant.
Seven and a half months, crazy.
She's such a G.
She made me feel so proud.
I did my own standing ovation in my living room.
I'm back in the glue thing, too, by the way.
Nice.
You know, I don't know people know this, but I, you know, I'm really into Elmer's glue.
And I put it on my fingers.
I put it on my feet.
And I've done it since I was a baby.
And there was years where I have two things like that.
Sunflower seeds.
I just go through like, you know.
Periods.
Periods where I do it and then I don't do it.
And I'm on a glue run right now.
Nice.
Just on my thumbs though.
What does it help with?
Nothing.
Oh.
It doesn't do anything.
But I just, I love doing it.
Do you ever do your feet?
I do all the time.
We actually have hundreds of his glue thumbs.
Glue thumbs.
Hands in the closet.
Yeah.
And at some point we have to give.
Give them out.
Give those away as tiger belly.
You know why I've never given them away because people have asked for it.
Do you know why?
Why?
Because if, if, if there's a murder, if there's a murder.
You're framed man.
I'm framed.
You're done.
Yeah.
My thumb print.
We just gave people so many ideas that frame you for murder.
I know for murder.
You know what I mean?
I'm not good at, I know, I know for a fact, even if I didn't come into crime and cops
had me.
You know, first of all, lie detector test, I'll fail every single one of them.
Because of your anxiety?
Yeah.
I feel like even like if they asked me the question like, did you rape Ms. Donahue?
You didn't even do it.
Right.
And even if I did, even if I say, no.
Once I say, no, I did it in my mind, I'll be like, they're going to know.
I didn't do it, but they're going to, you know what I mean?
They're going to think that I did.
And then it's going to affect the machine.
The machine just like.
I would be the worst candidate for it as well.
Look at my hands right now.
Yeah.
They're already sweating just at the thought of formulating a sentence.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just by breathing, I'm already sweating.
We have problems.
Hey, you and I would be fucked.
We'd be fucked.
We'd be in prison.
Or like, you know, when like Brent and Datsy and making a murder.
You know what I mean?
They were like feeding him the lines.
I would be the same way.
No, you wouldn't say yes to everything.
No, but they were in my head.
I'm like, I got to watch, you know, you know what I mean?
Let's say there was a fight.
UFC fight.
Yeah.
And they had me in an office and I'd be, they'd be like, so just say that you did it.
I go, yeah, but okay, but I, or I did it because I got to go watch the fight.
Oh, you got to go watch Connor McGregor and a BS too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is not happening.
So he'd take, he'd take the punishment just so he could watch that.
Enjoy.
It's time.
Yeah.
I'm so glad I've never been framed for anything.
You know, I've never really done anything bad like that.
Have you guys both been to prison at all?
I've been locked up, but I'm not going to specify.
Why?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, you do.
He's like, you were locked up in a prison?
No, not in a prison.
Oh, or in a mental institution.
That's not what you meant.
You say it like the mental institution.
No, you were like, I meant like jail.
No, she was like a goth chick and she was a cutter or whatever.
No, it was.
We've all gone through that.
Yeah.
No, but not in a prison you've been.
You've never been to a prison.
No, but I've been locked up three times.
I'm a repeat offender.
Yeah, I've been locked up also, but I don't view that as being locked up.
But no, they have, they take away all your rights.
They fucking basically tranquilize you.
You're in there for a month.
They, you can, you don't have access to, you have to give up all your contraband.
Right.
So it's like, you don't even have access to gummy worms.
You don't have access to.
You don't?
That's the first thing you have.
I remember Jessica bringing me like those little Asian jellies.
Oh yeah.
She brought me those Asian jelly brought you an Asian jelly.
Oh my God.
I hope Jessica's the same thing.
They didn't allow me to have it.
And I flipped the fuck out because I was just like, I wasn't allowed any just ounce of happiness
in there.
Oh man.
Because, but you know, you, you relinquish that right when you go try and kill yourself,
you know?
Of course.
So the government now, you know, deems you, you know, incapable of making.
Like, yeah.
Asian fucking jelly cups.
Those are very good, by the way.
I know.
I was so upset.
Yeah.
Like when, if that journal that I have, that little blue journal that I have, if I read
some of those excerpts, they make me cringe.
Why cringe?
Same.
Just because, you know, I want to kill myself.
Life is worthless, meaningless, you know.
So emo.
Yeah.
I was a young person.
I was like that.
Super emo.
I used to do the coffee shops.
I used to go to this place in Pacific Beach called Zanzibar to like three in the morning
and play chess and write poetry.
Really?
Yeah.
And then I had like discussions with like older, like Bohemian people about music.
It was so fucking disgusting.
That doesn't seem like you at all.
Yeah.
Because I had no, you know, when you're, when you don't know what you want to do with
your life and yet you're lazy, like I'm like, I don't want a day job.
I've never wanted to work.
Not because I'm lazy.
I mean, when I do work, I'm a hard worker, but I hate it.
Everyone hates to work.
Yeah.
But like I just, during my off times, I would just spend time like, because I knew I wanted
to do something creative.
But you don't know what it is yet because you're 20, 21 years old.
So I would go to local punk shows, but then I was also stayed late and write poetry and
stuff.
Wow.
You know that I was very, very similar, but there were, there was always older men that
I came across who really prayed on young emo girls like me.
They would say things like, I remember working at a 24 hour fitness when I was in high school
and I did sales and the GM, he drew this like fancy Porsche.
He'd always be like, Hey, come in here and just like talk to me and read me your poems,
you know?
And I thought that to be such an honor.
So I would sit there and I would read him all my poetry.
And then he'd be like, here, here's 200 bucks just for your weekend.
And you know, I was 16 years old and I thought to myself, wow, he really likes my poetry
because I never, I never like hooked up with him.
He didn't like the poetry.
Oh, he was such a douche.
I really want to say his name, but I won't.
Oh man.
I wonder who it is.
Here's the thing that I got mad at the other day, speaking of poetry, it's kind of spoken
word.
I was watching online.
Our Shafir did, you know, his, this is not happening as it, his own comedy central show
where he just tells stories.
I've done, I've done it before.
Yeah.
That was a good one.
But I saw one where he did it before I've ever done it.
Bobby Lee and I go get a prostitute.
Now he never called me and said, Hey, can I tell the story about us getting a prostitute?
Oh, I thought you did it with him.
No.
He just, not that story.
Okay, Bobby, but we've talked about, I understand it's principal, baby, because if he would
have called me and said, Hey, can I tell the story about, you know, I'd be like, yeah,
all right.
You know what I mean?
Permission.
But just the thought that he just, you know what I mean, did this crazy story about funny
story.
Yeah.
And it makes me seem disgusting.
You are disgusting.
There's no other better word to describe you than disgusting.
You are that.
I am what?
I totally get why are you when I have a permission.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
What do you mean?
So you're a, you're a disgusting creature.
Whoa.
Whoa.
You are.
As am I.
That's why this works together.
That's why Tiger Bell exists.
We're all disgusting in what way?
I mean, I don't think that you getting a prostitute is disgusting.
I just think that I'm, what I mean, disgusting, not in a negative way.
It's more like you do shit that the average person wouldn't get into.
For example, give me example, you know, 60, 90 with, with, you know, family members.
Okay.
Stop.
Stop.
Okay.
Yes.
I did 69 with a family member and I happened to be a man, a boy, but that was a kid.
Yeah.
And, and is it because I talk about it that I'm discussing or because I actually did
that?
I mean, gosh, I don't, you, you, because a lot of kids have done weird things that they
would never talk about.
Yeah.
Like I don't, George, I don't know what he's done, but I know he's done some fucking crazy
shit in his personal life.
Yes, you have.
Yeah, you did, George.
Yeah, you did, George.
But overall, you are just disgusting.
Like even with hygiene though, let's keep it real.
Okay.
All right.
That's what this is about being real.
Yeah.
And this is about me on honestly looking myself in the mirror and going, okay, let's, let's
find out who I really am.
All right.
So tell me all you would need to do is take this camera and then see your side of the
bed.
What's on your side of the bed?
Sunflower seeds.
I love them.
Three year old banana peels.
Just smoothies he has just let dry out fermenting like kimchi, fermenting like kimchi.
I mean, just fish guts.
Like you did.
Fish guts.
Wrong.
You did that as a joke and that's wrong.
There's never been fish guts on the side of my bed.
All right.
Oh, go inside his car actually.
It straight up smells like horse manure and I can't figure out why I went.
Because I ride horses.
I, I take, I took his car to get washed, I interior and exterior and right after that,
it still smells like fucking animal manure and I can't figure out why.
And it's because it's just years and years and years of like fermenting, whatever in
there.
Maybe you're right.
I don't know.
I don't know how to change that about myself.
Hygiene wise?
Yeah.
I'm just a dirty, dirty person and I've always have been and it's like, I've, I've gotten
by this far for being, you know, you know what you don't have though?
Body odor.
Thank you.
I was going to say and that's a fact and that's real.
That's what we've learned.
That does not, his armpits never smell.
Do you sweat though?
Rarely.
Interesting.
Not for my pits, but can I say this?
I have been to other comedians' houses, famous ones and I don't want to name names, okay?
And 10 times worse than my situation.
You've also named names.
Jim Jeffries.
Yeah.
Oh, that was late.
Yeah.
That was late.
Yeah.
Would he be upset that you're saying this?
No.
I don't think so.
It's true.
It's true.
There's other ones.
Okay.
I'm not going to name names.
I'm just saying, okay?
Enough.
And then there are ones that I, I've been to their houses before they became famous.
Yeah.
And then when they became famous, they can get like, you know what I mean?
The maid service.
The maid service and all that stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm not the only one.
It's a common thing, maybe.
I think it's just a, you know, I think there's a lot of creative people that were, that
were like that.
I don't think Lou Reed probably had a beautiful place.
Maybe I don't know.
Maybe he could pay for a maid.
Maybe.
I don't know the name of that book, George, the art of tidying up.
It's like a, it's like a, what is it George?
Tell me.
You've, Ali Wong even talked about it on her social.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's, uh, the Facebook.
Is it the Facebook woman that made it?
I wrote the book.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's different.
No, that's another one.
But it's the art of tidying up or something to that effect.
And maybe you might feel inspired by the book and maybe you should pick it up and read
it.
Last time you read a book.
Yeah.
That's not that.
It's just that I've done fine by living my life the way it is.
Okay.
I never paid taxes.
Don't say that.
Just shut up.
Just don't say it.
He has now.
I have now, but I didn't.
I don't pay parking tickets.
I don't do any of that.
I don't do anything.
I don't do anything.
You know what I mean?
If I take a shower, I do it for funsies, but other than that, I'm just going to live the
way.
I mean, I have a beautiful girlfriend.
Kalei, look, you know, I never stop working.
I'm always picking shit up, cleaning, scrubbing.
Oh, it just never ends for me.
Yeah.
What does your place look like?
On and off messy.
It'll be messy for two days and I'll clean it up because it bothers me.
Really?
Yeah.
To me, clothes around the house or clothes on the floor isn't considered messy.
To me, messy is when you have sticky stuff on the floor from spilled juice.
Oh, okay.
You know, oily refrigerator doors because you just don't wipe your hands, like shit
like that and crusty, like fermented shit underneath your pillow.
Look what he's doing.
He's so nervous for tomorrow.
Why do you keep reminding me, man?
Yeah, because your body, I can feel your body and your face and you're doing things.
You can see my leg.
I don't know why.
It's really, you are so nervous right now.
Yeah.
The fear, the fear is going to get to you, bud.
You got to do it.
You got to confront your own fears.
Look at me.
Yeah.
What are you doing right now?
What do you mean?
Why are you trying to put fear in me?
I'm not sabotaging.
I'm just saying, dude, you got to let it go.
I'm trying to let it go.
I'm trying to let it go.
You got to let it go.
You got to let it go.
You got a man up.
A man up tomorrow.
You will.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I have faith in you, Gilbert.
Thank you.
Yeah, you know, it's just, you know, I want to be honest with you, man.
New York really fucked me up.
That's why I'm a little weird right now.
I'm going to be real with it.
I didn't have some good shows in New York.
What do you consider not a good show?
Because I've seen you say-
There was nine people in my third show.
I wasn't going to say anything because I'm embarrassed by it.
I think that we can talk about this.
It's a reality, right?
I had to confront my reality.
Look, it was a 12.30 show, Midnight.
That doesn't matter.
We're all the details though, so.
We're all the details though, so.
It's one of my characters, thank you.
So can I just say this, okay, this is that,
I know that my ticket numbers, since January,
I've been amazing.
You've sold out every night?
Yeah, yeah, amazing.
But dude, it's like, Saturday night, New York, 1230,
there was nine people, and then I walk up to the manager
and I go, hey, do I have to do 45 minutes?
He goes, yeah, you still have to do a show?
Yeah, I go, can we cancel it?
No.
Contractually though, I get that
because those people did pay $22 to see you,
so of course that's-
They were all Tiger Belly fans, thank God.
That's good.
You know what I mean?
That's good.
And without them, obviously, there'd be no show.
So I thank you for coming out,
but dude, it was really humbling.
My question is, in anticipation,
if let's say I'm like a club owner and I see that,
oh, only nine people have bought tickets for a 1230 show,
wouldn't I just cancel that show, inform those nine people,
but that there's an earlier show
with still nine seats available,
shut down the club early,
and save money on electricity, on not paying employees.
They have shows downstairs, that's why.
I see, so they still have to technically-
Right, so the thing's open already,
and it's also, it's like, that's the comedy.
That's what I'm gonna say, is that it's comedy,
it's life, and it's New York,
there's a lot of competition, and it's not that,
it's just that like, it's just that like,
oh, it's just like, I have 20 years, you know what I mean?
I've done this game, and I just need a little reprieve.
You know, it's just like every year,
it's like audition, not getting it, this, that,
and then your friends become, you know,
and then it's like, you just want a little reprieve.
Reprieve.
You just want a little, like a year,
where you're just kinda like, you know,
I'm fine, you know?
Every year is a fucking battle,
it's like every day, it's a battle, you know?
I'm just gonna say it, it's like-
You know what Bobby?
What?
Man up.
Hahaha.
Cloud, it's Sniper tonight.
What?
Wow.
Man up baby, sack the fuck up.
You're right.
Quit your bitchin', you make good money,
have a roof over your head roof roof roof you have me you have friends you have
tiger belly you have your three cats we're good we get fed all right life is
alright yeah I wasn't really crying by the way by the why okay I was just
doing a fake cry it's called acting you know I was called acting guys yeah
showcasing my abilities you know I already casted characters listen oh and
also Eric Griffin fuck you uh-oh what happened you fucking fuck because five
six months five months ago a movie came out in the movie theaters called and I
just listen and I was looking forward to seeing it it's called the witch oh right
yes right the goat one and then yeah and I go to Eric Griffin I go hey you
want to watch the witch saw it dog worst movie I've ever seen don't bother don't
bother I go why because it's just not scary it's artsy fartsy it's not good
it sucks you're gonna hate it right we just saw it loved it fucking loved it
damn and then you know what I remember he liked the equalizer with Denzel but
and he didn't like Mad Max and he didn't like Mad Max that's a weird one to not
like Mad Max so if you ever Eric if you're listening you fuck okay I'm never
gonna ask you for your advice because you're you don't know what you're
talking about I like the witch the witch was great where does it rank for you
guys in horror films like out of ten you know what it on its own it was so
different as a horror film necessarily I would view it more of a psychological
you know me drama like you know what remind me of the feeling Jacob's ladder
you ever see that yeah so it's not a full let me ask you do you ever see it
Jacob's ladder yeah I know what it is I haven't seen it then how do you why'd
you go tell me about it cool because you said Jacob's ladder I was like oh I know
that movie it's Jacob's ladder is Tim Robbins when he was young and it's a
it's a mind-fuck it's such a good movie and it's scary in that way where just the
whole thing the the ambience of the movie has just that this weird you mean
tone this uncomfortable like creepy vibe to it and it's in the world you know I
mean so well-defined that it just affects you psychologically even the witch
like the language the everything about it was just unique to me or unique to my
brain to where it kept me interested even though we started the movie at three
in the morning and usually I'll doze off if we start a movie that late yeah but it
kept me interested I wanted to know what was around the corner each time each
time and it's just like whenever you mix religion yeah with white people I'm
sorry no I'm just being real it's like most of the world and isolation
isolation those three religion isolation and white people are the scariest thing
yeah because there were so many like underlying themes to it it wasn't just
you know religion or like possible you know witches or whatever it was there
was so much of like a theme about family and being in isolation and having to
rely on your family and just you know where whatever farm that they had yeah
and they were in the middle of nowhere yeah and there's a scene I don't care
because you haven't seen it I'm gonna just say it right there's a scene if you
always so think when you see a white people film like this you go only white
people could do this because I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because there's
a scene in it where the daughter loses the baby right if an Asian family if you
lost if I lost my brother Steve yeah and we were in the woods yeah my dad would
lose me too you fucked up yeah it would it would like it would be I wouldn't
even man I'd be dead yeah he killed me yeah or we would he would make me go out
in the forest to find the fucking thing right no you don't come home until you
get Steve yeah you know me and I just be in the woods just like Steve you know
and he they forgave her pretty right they were kind of like the baby's gone the
baby's gone George George you fucking people man just what's wrong with you
people yeah and also can I ask you George what's up with
Trump bro what's up with them are you really voting for him I feel like you
are George does not like Trump but he respects the game the game yeah what do
you mean it's a game tactics you know what he no no he's not gonna just say
something okay first of all no just stop okay he's not winning the game
okay because what happened is this okay Bush in 2008 left of left of left us
with a big mess two wars you know me the economy was in the tube right the stock
the market crashed then then Obama took over we used to be 10% unemployment
rate now we're at 5% we got out of Iraq right we got out of Iraq right the war
we killed Osama bin Laden right and now it's like the Republicans are like the
people the Republicans are like we hated Obama why we don't know but we're
gonna find our own guy right so he's speaking a language to gather these
buffoons because let me tell you this right now if you're anybody and you and
like I'm running for office and the KKK you know me and David Duke is supporting
me and I don't refute him or I don't you know I mean and I go I don't know much
about the KKK so I'm not gonna denounce you know he didn't do that
Trump didn't Trump didn't denounce the KKK remember that and people still go
went if you vote for him after he does that shit you're a fucking racist it's
a little crazy you're not a racist if you say I don't want Muslims in America
that's racism I mean Mexicans they're all you know I mean most of them are
like criminals whatever he said we're gonna build a wall you know me if you
support a man who says those things you're a full-blown fucking racist in my
opinion no you're right but it doesn't mean so how is he winning the game he's
winning the game amongst racists he's dummies but but you know that just goes
to show what America is possibly made of right but George is right he's still
winning the game he's he's winning the Republican game
politics is soundbites yeah soundbites babe like Conor McGregor but you don't
realize that yes with his contingency is that what it says constituency is that
the word yeah is that the right word all right it works with that group but
those soundbites work amongst you know I mean the Republicans in his party
whatever right but when it becomes on 101 with Hillary or Bernie those soundbites
are gonna backfire get on the mic now fuck it get on the mic George George
here's a pink ticket go ahead I don't care let's talk preface this by saying
you're not a supporter yeah yeah I'm not a Trump supporter I'm gonna vote
libertarian every time but that's why that's a waste of your vote but that's
how I know that it's a game I really have to respect politics for the game it is
okay Trump as soon as he got the not like as soon as he was getting the
nomination he started to soften everything every view of him now has at
least three women supporting him okay what every time you see Trump see you're
still yes I know I know exactly what you mean you're still listening to the
media they're still trying to crush Trump he's making sure he wins with women
now he's gonna have a Megan Kelly interview that's gonna come out women
are gonna love him okay you're making assumptions you're making something
they're gonna love them oh it's gonna be hard for the coasts the coasts are
still gonna hate him but he's gonna soften himself a lot to women and the
rest of America I think so I think you're New York LA but he still gonna be
how does he win Hispanics over Taco Bowl he already started with that yeah yeah
that's when you eat a taco ball and saying Trump Plaza makes the best taco
balls I love Hispanics it's kind of sending and we're not retarded I know
what you're doing are you a trickster and Hispanics I followed George Lopez on
Instagram he found for it whatever George says you know me I listen so go
ahead it's gonna be an upward climb impossible that's the start that's both
trolling so that everybody talks about it and then shows that he loves Hispanics
he said like the most politically correct term possible Hispanics anytime he
wants to say beiners but he can't he does he wants to say beiners but he can't
right yeah and what he said was number one that taco salad thing is not a
Hispanic Mexican food right it's some sort of like you know America like
cross-bred thing that we created for white people to eat right and it's like
it's just condescending the way he did it that's not the way he'll never win
them back you'll never win them back he he might not win them back but he's
going to try kind of soften the edges a little bit more to where he doesn't sound
as sinister as he was during the Republican race because of those
things that he has said already the soundbites they're recorded right there
tape sometimes he says it on tape right they can just use that in ads against
him no but then I also feel like generating even negative airplay about
him still puts him in the limelight in one way or another and in that way he
continues to win because he's putting himself the media is putting him in the
forefront of our thoughts always and so you you think and this is gonna be the
scariest question I've ever asked you think George that he could win the
presidency he's got it if he's up against Hillary so easy what the fuck
that's some real shit you just said there man um if you want to look at like
read the Scott Adams blog on it he has like the he's been chanting like what's
gonna happen he's been predicting what's gonna happen since the beginning Scott
what does them Scott Adams we argue we argue about this all every time because
I always say look like as as the days go by to me it's a very like likely thing
to happen it's a huge possibility and he keeps saying absolutely not it's gonna
be a landslide landslide landslide you know on the democratic side and I I'm
gonna say this I don't think so you could be right and that's the first time I
ever said that on in my life that George George can be right and number two
this is real this is real and I'm gonna have to do something we're gonna have
to do something we have to we have to get involved and the first and the first
thing we have to know this is what we do number one is we got to get burning out
of the race yes baby by keeping Bernie in the race right he brings up negative
you know I mean things against Hillary right and it's like you got to get him
out of the race because the longer he's in the more negatives basically your
spoon-feeding Trump thinks to say about yeah that's what I'm saying as if he
didn't already have everything at his disposal negative that he was still
out there Bernie's got to get out I don't think so I love my burns all right
well then you're gonna have Trump's gonna win and that's it I think that Bernie
has you know it I know that you know in terms of like the delegate count it's a
damn near impossibility for Bernie to win at this it's impossible but I will
say that probably it would be a more secure race for us if Bernie went against
Trump so are you scared that Trump is gonna be president George as a libertarian
you just got to know what are you talking about what is that well why is
do you believe that did you vote for Ron Paul I have a straight libertarian ticket
every year yeah but why you know they're not gonna win because by voting for you
like skew what people are like what we're in a two-party system so the two
parties will always adopt beliefs that are big enough that if they can pull the
people are what do libertarians believe tell me complete freedom they believe
you have the right to do whatever you want as long as you don't infringe on
anybody else's rights they're gonna end the drug war bringing as many people as
you like as many immigrants as possible without like completely ruining the
economy like complete freedom worldwide whatever yeah don't you think that's
dangerous don't you think that like for instance a gun laws that we should have
them yeah but the it's the basis of any law that only when it affects other
people should you not do it but it's none of us moral laws like don't do it
don't create a law what about little fetuses little baby fetuses who's gonna
protect them hey you forgot to greet me happy mother's day happy mother's baby
we both killed the fetus we did our IP go be our IP go be don't I'm not
high-fiving that because that's our daughter we don't have a choice all right
George thank you thank you give George a round of applause he just completely
schooled me politically yeah I don't talk about politics ever because I don't
know much about it yeah obviously yeah I don't even know the right words to use
but I do have my opinions as an American I want to say those things Sam you
know I was watching Vice Land and I was watching Eddie Wang's world and he had
he was in Sicily and he was talking cuz you know Sicily is right now like a
hotbed for like immigration right because you have a lot of people just
going through just the immigration I'm sorry the like a lot of refugees coming
coming to Sicily and he interviewed the mayor of Palermo in Sicily and it this
guy I swear I might be like my new favorite person like this is a mayor
who goes out and he goes into like the gay pride parades like he's such like a
like a liberal guy but he always says I always want Palermo to be remembered
because there's a there's a there's another group called like Nuo Forza
who's very like keep keep keep anyone out of our shores everyone like no
permittance to anyone to even enter Sicily right but the mayor is kind of
like I want the I want people to always think of Palermo as the place of like
human rights and like freedom and like he sincerely meant it and I touched me a
lot that's all I want to say about it well the thing is this okay is that I
think we should have closed borders I do I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna I'm
gonna run for president we wouldn't even be here if they were closed borders here
we go I know once you got in you get in oh so we're the last Asian with the
ass lasted the Asians right completely close it off no no more you're not
allowed especially those old white dude that go to Asia to find those little
young Asian ones they can't come over I'm sorry they're born and like they're
born American are they notified your mail or like an email or what happens how
do they know if they can't go over they just can't go over ever they can go
white people can go over there oh we can only yeah we yeah you know what
happened today actually how could I just finish my yeah of course of course finish
my thing close borders ask me okay oh also all right abortion is completely
illegal but you know what but if you don't want your baby it goes into my
program which is what a slave trade it's not a slave trade no we know that left
them Nikita we taught teach them kung fu gunplay like ninja right different
languages right so they like what they work for you know they're like assassins
and stuff interesting rights left them Nikita they'll be machines yeah and the
retarded ones we'll get them jobs jeez no we will yeah we'll get them like you
know we'll have factories like they put patches on jackets okay I can't even do
that yeah yeah well they'll put it on they won't sew it but they'll put the
patch on the jacket where it's supposed to be and then it'll go into the machine
or you can just use the velcro ones they can just watch they just watch yeah
but the retarded ones they'll be working in the factory yeah all right job
placement yeah gays you can marry anything anything yeah you can marry
yeah as president you can marry anything you want yeah you want to marry a
horsey Gilbert go ahead wow right this guy sounds kind of good but yeah but in
terms of animals yeah if you get a divorce they don't get 50% of your
shit because they don't know they won't not gonna know what to do with it
humans take everything yes in that situation yes they can't keep half the
stable right senator Bobby senator Bobby what political party is this what what
political party the random one yeah random party random part right gun
control right you can you can get all all guns are illegal anything all guns
cops don't get guns nobody gets guns the military doesn't get everything is hand
to hand combat everything swords go old-school with it that's what we're
training swords yes throwing knives yeah knife throwing not yeah knives
oh so oh so the the babies that we take in as of the government the unwanted
babies yeah we're gonna put this you know what we're gonna do adamantin steel
in their bones it's like Wolverine yes if they survive the operation oh most of
them will not survive survive so what's the percentage is for death or life on
99.9% oh wow but the ones that we get through smart what else is there so you're
gonna put them through a mutant program like Deadpool Deadpool there'll be a
bunch of Deadpool's ask me another thing as a thing how you're gonna handle the
economy and unemployment oh here's what it is here's another thing in terms of
the economy and I really believe this every corporation 50% of it goes to the
government Jesus holy crap communist no you get to keep you 50 right and here's
another in the out you haven't let me finish the reason being all right is is
that we if you're born you can't you first of all you can't come into my
country but if you're born into my country automatically every year you get
40 grand from that money the 50% that goes back to the goes back no it's like
if like for instance Gilbert you're born here were you yeah 40% you get $40,000 a
year yeah but then that doesn't then that's going to incentivize laziness
because all I have to do is be born here and say well the government is gonna
take care of me so fuck my life I'm just going to relax here and get make 40,000
in the year anyways yeah but you're gonna you're gonna have to pay rent you
know I mean and all that stuff so if you want the bare minimum yeah because I
don't like I want to go to 7-eleven and they try to open the door for me the
homeless people and then I have to give them the dollars just for opening the
door that's just the one in Korea town I'm just trying to stop for that from
happening yeah I know that's not a dollar worth of work yeah that's probably a
penny they look at you but if they made 40 grand a week they wouldn't be out there
get to open your own door yeah they'll be shooting cracks global warming yeah
global warming that's why that's the thing about global warming but yeah
emissions right sure no emissions okay if your factors make factory or your
cars make any kind of mission you don't know they're legal Tesla's for everyone
right every electrical cars yeah yeah pretty good huh so far though pretty
good huh pretty interesting yeah not not pretty interesting pretty good pretty
good yeah and then I got another thing what I got another thing what was the
thing oh here's a thing maybe do immigration but you kill two birds with
one stone okay so listen to me you're allowed to come into our country only if
you marry a gay guy even if you're a woman it's a woman or male yeah
interesting how is the fuck does that even while we while we have closed border
huge yeah yeah no I was open to that specific for that was man you got the
gay vote yeah or does why does he have the game you're forcing a gay man to
marry a woman or a straight man you know that's true forget that one
scrap that I didn't think that one crap that's crap that I was just
improvising there and then finally what's your slogan for your campaign we do
what we can yes we can we do what we can you're being honest I'm being real
yeah that's it we're being real yeah and yeah that's it and I think that that's
a better situation wow Bobby you don't like it why so you don't vote I'm
defecting I'm defecting would you vote for me George absolutely that's a
libertarian yeah yeah that's about as opposite as libertarian as libertarian
guts why because literally there are no freedoms in your world other than I
basically get punished for having an abortion but somehow I can like marry a
Christmas tree if I want to or have sex yeah that's like I'm not getting punished
for I didn't say that you said illegal abortions you could have you just have
the baby how about this I don't want to have the baby I don't want to think about
my child turning into Wolverine that's kind of I do really like that part of
your whole thing of just kids it's right yeah 99% of them died during the
adamanty in process yeah yeah it's it's a it's a difficult surgery with the
first X-men it does take care of overpopulation those yes it does yeah
okay anyway just wasted everyone's time we do we can we do what we can you guys
you know what I actually was gonna send you this article that I read today on
vice what was it and it said Gandhi was a racist that he was actually pro
segregation and he was he's a person who basically continued or perpetuated the
idea of the like the casters them to cast or cased case cast either one
what no yeah that was not in the movie that was not in the movie Ben Kingsley
with is a God grab English slaughtered a lot of Indians and they fought them by
doing peaceful protests by doing what do you when they starve themselves what do
they call it silent protest sound yeah no what would happen when they don't eat
fasting but no not fasting that's not what it's called that is like peaceful
protest hunger strike they do hunger strikes and anyone via that which
influenced Martin Luther King and his philosophy and that's what I believe I
don't believe that Gandhi was a fucking they said he was really they said he was
really bad to his wife and that you know how he lived in South Africa for a
for a while it was a lawyer yeah he he wrote to and he he said that you know
because of the apartheid was still like happening yeah and he said that African
American I'm sorry Africans are the lowest of the lowest and they should be
segregated yeah and he said but not again and then he was that's what he said
okay that's what he said and then what he did was like he he thought that he was
going to refrain from having sex so he became abstinent for a while and to
test his strength as a man he he lay in bed with like his young nephews and
nieces yeah to see if he could you know if he could fight the urge to that's
what he said but the reason why he couldn't have sex is because he looked
like a cricket with glasses okay nobody would fuck that cricket all right but
you know what's even more interesting is that apparently this information about
him has been out for a long time because a guy even wrote a book about it but
that as a society we're so resistant to believing it because it's gone because I
work with him and he's a good dude the guy who wrote it his grandfather
but I did work with him he just wanted a name drop what was the movie the
dictator oh I did scenes with the Gandhi with Gandhi yeah yeah and pretty cool
dude man I didn't see him sleep with nephews can I say this you know what he
said to me I swear to God he said this he says because that last scene was in the
beginning of the movie where that he's dead and there's like a million people
holding his body in the movie you ever seen the movie there's literally a
million people who has been Kingsley on a casket like a casket thing and that's
a CGI I remember that was literally hundreds of thousands of people just
coming out being extras for the movie that's how much he was adored Gandhi
they were doing this movie about Gandhi can you come out and help and
everyone came out that's how I know he was in the races that's why he didn't
say that about black people that's why I don't believe everything advice such
thing as by the way fuck vice you think that vice is so cool baby you put vice
up into a fucking pedestal like they're the cool we're watching vice land fuck
vice and they're cool but my school yeah I mean but you know I just don't like
cuz I don't just don't put them up in the pedestal I'm not I don't I watch all
news outlets yeah I that a weird that was a weird podcast we're not done yet I
know but that was not even close actually wow it's being a little weird
well what time are we at 52 oh yeah my god I know we're gonna keep going but
that was a weird one I ain't no we said I said a lot of things in it that made I
feel guilty about that's the whole thing really take anything back I like to take
a back about what if I was president all those things I would do even the ninja
system no the ninjas isn't fine I'm at a steel right but the thing about the
coming over and then marrying a gay but that's wrong that's aggressive you
shouldn't fuck a horse you shouldn't be allowed to do that you shouldn't be
allowed to do that and all that all that stuff I said about Trump I just don't
know much about politics why I sound like a buffoon do I sound like a buffoon
do you George you know what's funny is that when you talk to me about politics
you sound smart but as soon as you get the mic yeah it's as if you cannot
properly articulate I get nervous yeah so because you feel like now you're gonna
get the judgment of people yeah yeah what you're gonna say yeah I I feel like
I do know but I don't know I'm because when I'm talking about it on on the on
area like I can even speak on air that I get I go I don't know what to say what
words and I really know what I believe you know so I'm never gonna do that
again and this guy throwing words he's a little bit that's the one thing that
that irks me a little bit is that you're so much pressure is put on you
you're supposed to know what you believe all the time always 24 hours of the day
and and for me my mind changes between Tuesday morning to Tuesday afternoon
look at my thumb oh nice it's done yeah I was quick and sometimes I don't know
what I believe but I want to not feel bad about not knowing what I believe
sometimes sometimes I sit right in the middle and I you know I teeter back and
forth but I think that that's okay too I think that today is Monday and today
was a Philippine president presidential election do they have a Trump you tell
me do they know so the the front runner is a guy named Rodrigo Duterte and so
much of the media has covered you don't like that name do you know anything
about him say the name what's the name again Rodrigo Duterte Duterte Duterte
who's the next guy think do 30 who's the next guy yeah there's be nice there's
put them grace be nice a woman graceful I like be nice be nice graceful grace spot
full full graceful and then there's Maro has Maro has Maro has yeah I hope they
win babe no no no listen do you want to talk about this I do I want to talk
about the gist of like yeah give me the top candidate why is he so popular Roddy
Duterte you know in the media or how I think he was like even on John Oliver and
they liken him to Trump because he made some very very inflammatory comments
about this is what he said it was about a rape victim like some and he was like
looking through like the body bags and he saw that one of the rape victims was
was a blonde woman and he says gosh I looked at her and she was so beautiful
and I thought to myself no not her like what a waste because she had been raped
and killed right because not a waste like at the very least because he was a
mayor at this time because at the very least the mayor should have had first
dibs whoa so that's what he said so people kind of but there's no but there
is no but but in an evil world world that would be true okay okay sure the
fuck was that for you know what I'm saying in an evil dark world that's
principally that should be true but it's wrong okay go ahead what are the
repercussions from that look I thought up until this point I was very pro
Duterte yeah and you know he runs the only Philippine city that has a 911
system in place that has real ambulances in place you remember the ambulance I
was in in Cebu yeah what did it look like it was a green bus that was made in
the 50s yeah nothing it had nothing in it like I literally I was I thought I was
gonna die in that bus yeah yeah yeah so he runs a city as a mayor does he get
last dibs maybe stop in an evil world in an evil world and so having having
been to Davao knowing how it operates unlike any other shitty city in the
Philippines you know you can't help it be impressed by this guy and not only
that he doesn't come from a long line of a political like family dynasty he
doesn't live a lavish life like all these other people who are running for
presidency he lives in like a very very simple three bedroom home we talked
about the same guy Roddy Duterte the one who made those inflammatory comments
so for people to liken him to Trump I think is is not looking into the
situation enough because Roddy Duterte has been a politician for 40 years the
worst thing exactly but here's ever tell me this tell me this is it worse to
say something that inflammatory or to be like Marrojas Marrojas was in charge
of this dispensing the aid to typhoon victims when typhoon Haiyan happened
right we got aid from America we got aid from multiple countries and it wasn't
dispense and the emergency system wasn't in place that he was responsible for and
many people died people bodies were rotting on the side of the road he
didn't do his job is that a man you want to elect into president you say
something rather than a guy already let me listen rather than a guy who's had an
effective who's ran an effective city a fair city a clean city one that's rated
third safest city in Asia would you rather have that guy who's probably
responsible for first rape guy exactly me first ribs rape guy or the guy that
killed a bunch of people he didn't kill a bunch of people you didn't have the
system in place yeah but you know what let me just say this okay when Hurricane
Katrina hit us we didn't have a system either it's not about having the system
in place that Philippines is notorious for family political corruption the
tropos they were we went through was corruption yes I understand that but
what I'm saying is don't ask remember what he said yeah he said something what
I said black people don't push doesn't like black people my point is was not
him my point is when I heard I love you Kanye when I heard Duterte say that
about that woman and that inflammatory rape joke I was literally a gas like oh
fuck why did he say that right it really really was a huge bummer to me
because I do believe that that that guy can implement real change in the
Philippines so of course I don't agree with what he said of course I want to
give him big slap on the wrist and of course I want him to apologize but I
still think he is the best candidate for that country and I think that there is
finally going to be someone in place who doesn't have a long history of
corruption and that is the biggest underlying problem in the Philippines and
he is leading so far in the race those are your options exactly our options are
shit anyway aren't there better options because we're a third-world country that
has somebody that doesn't say that I would not first dibs when it comes to
rape yeah that's the best you can do as a fucking country you know what his word
he's he is not savvy on the mic clearly and honestly it really angered me I
hate that he said that but I don't think it's a true reflection of his
intentions and his heart I think that it's just a really shitty fucking mistake
that's why I like the South Korean president what's his name it's a woman
by the way and that's your bad okay I don't know her I'm not I understand but
you should know that yeah what's her name I forgot but during the but during the
um do you remember the the uh with the fairy accident you remember that you
totally talked about here but do you remember it I don't specifically what
did I say what I said it because you're talking about you were crying while
watching the news yeah but tell me what happened it tipped over and all these
people died who did the Koreans no but what Koreans South Korean no no there's
even worse than that fuckface it's worse in South Korea kids okay yeah
families no that's the difference between South Korea if it was like 60
Marines right who drowned in a ferry that's one thing but high school kids
you know I mean is another thing and the ferry captain right he abandoned
ship oh it's that's the one that yeah you're right he abandoned ship and and
you know what he's in prison forever now yeah cuz that's what you know I mean
that our president did South Korean president the woman whose name is yeah
yep some young so no don't do any photo we have any questions or emails on helpful
advice with Bobby and Kaleila hi tiger belly my boyfriend and I have been
together since 2008 when we started dating I was 15 and now I'm 23 we've
grown up together and love each other a lot he graduated from UCLA in 2014 and
I graduated from LMU in 2015 Magna Cum Laude Kaleila might appreciate I do
appreciate that he's going to prestigious law school this fall and I
agreed to move with him in the summer since law school is so time-intensive I
will be supporting us financially for the next three years he hasn't asked me
to marry him yet and although that doesn't bother me so much I feel like
I'm making a big of a commitment to him I would be nice for him to make an equal
commitment to me I love him dearly and I know he's one he's the one but after
almost eight years if he doesn't know that he wants to spend the rest of the
lot his life with me maybe I shouldn't be making this leap I'm not itself
involved or anything but I know I'm like a strong LA 7 I'm half Arab half white
Texan with blondish hair tan skin a slender physique and a symmetrical face
example exotic looking like Kaleila did you write this so not symmetrical though
and could do well for myself in the dating world am I a make assumptions
though okay am I am I a fool am I a fool for moving forward without a ring
thanks her name is H H H you don't make assumptions that he doesn't you want to
marry you he's just busy and women go I want it's it's very difficult like I'm
going about I want to marry you to Kaleila I don't I don't really care if
you do or not pound it out baby it's so fucking rude when she's such it like
that no I don't that to me that is not a measure I don't telling me fucking bitch
that I want to fucking marry you're like I don't want you know me and then it's
like now I feel like shit about it listen to me no now we're not gonna get
married let's help age I'm gonna I'm gonna help age but listen okay I thought
I wanted to marry Kaleila but I guess she doesn't want to so um but even though
she doesn't want to whatever in my head I'm like I'm gonna marry her but right
now it's not the right time to say timing I what is your advice on that
it's rude the way you did it I'm sorry I'm sorry just sit the fuck down for a
few more seconds Jesus um I think they've been since she's been with this
guy since she was 15 she's only 23 yes she has all her ducks in line I say
don't fall into the trap of marrying this guy now maybe write up a contract if
you're gonna financially support him for the next three years write up a
contract or an agreement to where you're going to be you're going to see some of
that money back but don't trap yourself by getting married at 23 please don't I
know I know you know in what I'm saying is probably kind of anti love story you
know people do want to believe that the people that they meet when they're 15 is
the people that it does exist and that does happens me know my grandparents you
know we're together since they were 13 and I get that and that does happen and
it is special but what I'm saying is you're an LA 7 you got your ducks in line
you're a you're a you're a hot chick don't get married 23 see what else is out
there if you love this guy stay with him but and and and find some way to make
yourself feel secure about supporting him financially for the next three years
and maybe you'll see some of that money back but don't worry about the marriage
part as a matter of fact it's a blessing in disguise that he hasn't asked you
yet okay
that's good let's get married baby no you know what I changed my mind I changed
my mind and fine one final quick question this is from Andre from Portugal
my question is for you on the pad podcast what are your favorite fight scenes
ever they can be from movies TVs anime manga or whatever oh I know mine I know
mine too what is yours raid to kitchen scene that's a good one favorite ever
mine is this old boy hallway scene the reason being is because there's no cuts
if you see the scene he fights I don't know like 50 guys in a hallway one take
with one take all the way through even Bill Burr says that's his favorite scene
in terms of movie I gotta watch you talked about it before you have never
seen old boy and it's a problem and you have to watch it tonight actually no
maybe after your addition yeah maybe tomorrow and I'm gonna say this if you
gotta go I'm I'm gonna say this you gotta go in there tomorrow at noon my
reputations on the line Bobby can you stop pressuring the poor guy it is I'm
the one I know I'm gonna read you the email okay I'll just read you the email
okay it's like there's so much industry I know I love it I love it can I just say
my fight scene really quick yes yeah go ahead maybe want to be an actor maybe
join martial arts yeah favorite movie ever rumble in the Bronx it was the fight
scene at the very end before the hovercraft that's it remember what that
looks like on the Bronx his first the big American Jackie Chan I know I want to
see if it hits me in the heart I want to read this to you I said this my dear
friend and comedy collaborator whoa Gilbert Galone is trying to get an
audition for Matt TV I wouldn't ask if I didn't think he was the greatest thing
since me he's Filipino and young and super talented he's represented by
principal entertainment L.A. Matt Burkle oh I love to get involved anyway I can
with the show thanks then he goes it is arranged Bobby thank you right so that's
what I said all right if you go in there tomorrow and shit the bed that goes
down the toilet can I say I don't care if you're scared I don't care if you guys
think that I'm being fucked up right now not bringing it up look at me right
now I want you to fucking get the job all right he will so man up step into it
and get this fucking job can I say don't be scared I'm trying to look at me
right now I say this yeah I'm seeing because I know you hate when you see
you're already smiling go ahead thank you are you two crying right now you
you look like you're about to crack that might hug you thank you thank you no
thank you that's what I fucking said but no I will always yeah I will I always
I love I believe you I believe in you that's why I did that all right
Colette we were promoting his shows we're good on his shows yes so again
Phoenix stand-up live Bobby is going to be there Thursday Friday and Saturday one
show Thursday two shows Friday to show Saturday make sure you follow us on
Instagram at Tiger Belly on Twitter at the Tiger Belly you can look us up on
YouTube at the Tiger Belly or just look up Tiger Belly for our videos and our
vlogs and also make sure you leave us review on iTunes you can also download
the the audio over there as well anything else well I have nothing else
your highness so good luck tomorrow I believe in you thank you a thousand percent
winner-lose do my best just do your best and you can come back to us and we'll
dry your tears if we must
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