TigerBelly - Episode 41: Second in the Family

Episode Date: May 18, 2016

Bobo is captain.   Khaloko is first officer.   Gilbo is flight engineer.   We talk about Asians in the desert, the power distance index, and a bruised titty.   Recorded May 16, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube: TigerBelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to the show. Are you ready to do it? Clap your hands up your body. Beiner. Oh? Beiner. Can you say beiner?

I don't think we can say beiner. Yeah, you can say beiner. Why? Because I think... It's a food group. I don't think you can. I think we have to start over. Damn it.

I think we have to start over. What? To calm down. Five, four, three, two, one. Welcome to the podcast. Are you ready for show? I got fat on my eyebrows. Clap your hands up your body.

Beiner. Got that. All right, you know what? That's a good take. That's it. That's a good take. That's it. That's our song.

Am I going to get in trouble from the movement? The beat of movement? The Hispanic movement? I don't know. They like it. They do? I think they like it now. They own it.

No, seriously. Should I start over? Welcome to the podcast. Are you ready for show? Show. But I don't. I'm ready to dance it out. Clap your hands up your body.

Beiner. No. No. No. So welcome to the podcast. Listen, I want to start off by trying to defend my friend, Mike Feverman. Now I'm going to tell you something about Mike Feverman.

He's in a lot of trouble. What's the story? I don't know much about it. Kalyla is the one that told me about it. Do you give us the audience the story, Kalyla? A quick synopsis is he writes this girl on Facebook saying, hey, drinks, dinner, and the girl polite. Which is?

Which is? Let me give my synopsis. Number one, notice in that request, there was no sexism or anything derogatory. He started off well. He started off normal and Christian. Christian. So go ahead.

And then the girl politely responds with, hey, like, you know, I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression by adding you by by friending you on Facebook that I wanted to date. I'm sorry if I gave you that. It wasn't my intention. That's negative. Totes polite. But that's negative.

How? He was being polite, right? Let me say something right now. This is why I just. Let me just say something right now up front. In the world that we live in, there's poverty. And there's children in Ethiopia and Darfur and other places like that.

We don't get dinner. They don't eat, right? And they would say yes to a free drink and a meal to Mike Feverman, and he was just trying to feed another human being. And that's for me. Okay, let me finish this. But up. Welcome to the podcast.

All right. So what do you say? What does she then what do you say after that? He then says, oh, you know, I hope I didn't give you the impression that you were out of my league because you're not. Number one. She probably was. And then he continues to call her spaghetti.

He looks like spaghetti is the only thing he eats ever. Like he's a read. And so he continues to call her a pig, a fat con and blah, blah, blah. And it's like this long, long, long essay of why she's basically a fat con for, for politely turning him down. And so the girl, I think she's a friend of some female comics, it turns out, confided in these female comics and the female

comics kind of put this Mike Feverman on blast is what I gathered. Big time. Yeah. So Feverman's on blast. I texted him. What did you text him? I texted him.

I said, um, okay. And he goes, yeah, man, thanks for reaching out. That's what he said. That was reaching out. He deleted his Twitter because he was getting a lot of, let me tell you about my favorite man. Okay. Don't tell us about it.

That's all we need to know about him. That right there. I'm going to say right now is bullshit. Why? Because that's not who he is as a man. What he does in his privacy is exactly who he is. Yeah. But that's not private.

That was absolutely private. That's Facebook. That's the social media website. The way he hits on a woman and immediately gets a bad, I mean, all around an evil person. I'm more concerned when what people do in the privacy of their homes versus what they put out into the world, what they, what they show the rest of the world.

If that's what he does when he's at home eating his spaghetti. Can I tell you? All right. That's, that's. Can I say something? That's a reflection of who his, how you are about to feel really bad right now.

He's married to. I know. Can I say something? Can I say something? Yeah. His brother and his brother's wife were in a car accident. I don't know if you guys know that. No.

Yeah. And then they had a son, five year old son and favor men brought in the son, right? And he put the kid through private school and was a really, he's a really good father. You know what I mean? And because you just say something, right? I just made that story up.

And I made that up. I made. I tried to save him. You know what? I, I mean, I made the whole thing up. I don't even know if he has a brother, but my point is this. But I want to say this is that, you know, I've known favor men since he started.

I think he's a pretty good comedian. But my point is this, um, but I want to say this is that, you know, I've known favor men since he started. Um, I think he's a pretty good comedian, you know, and, um, you know, it's, I, what he did was wrong. All right. But, and it's one of those things that I'm very, I have a difficult time. Chasta.

I mean, I think if I, if he'd call me and said, do you think I did a wrong thing? I'd say, yeah, that was a really bad thing you did. But is it wrong for me to still like him? Um, I think it's not wrong if you see it from, like, it's the way I see my uncles, like some of my uncles are so ass backwards, 1950s, well, your uncle murdered somebody. Yes, I know. And I still like him.

So you still like him. Yeah. So I, I see it. I see them more as, um, you have to understand them for exactly where they come from. So he comes from a place that probably isn't very. You know what I mean? Like cultured or aware or he's just, but you see sides of your uncle, right? Yeah.

The people that don't know him aren't privy to, right? I mean, they, right. So my uncle killed my other uncle with a machete. So not a lot of people. Yeah. With a machete because my uncle took away his home and left his five kids, one of which had cerebral palsy out in the rain in the middle of a typhoon. Did you make, did you make up the, who the fuck stole my favorite man's spaghetti

meatballs? Like, that's all I'm saying. It's like, what, what incited that type of behavior? There's a cause and effect there with my uncle. He killed somebody because you don't know how he was raised. You don't know what, and, you know, what if it's cultural? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. If you see Mike favor, man, as a guy who probably is stuck in the 1950s and that's

all he knows, and he suspects his pig, then that's, that's how you see that. Does that something that, I mean, can that, no, can that say hello? But I get that though. Like, I, I kind of only judge people by how they treat me, because sometimes I don't know that other side of them, and if they've only ever been kind and nice to me, that's all I'll ever judge them for or hold them, you know, I do have to say this, though, there is a group of comic comics, because favor means a stick, a communist for comic, and I'm not going to name any other names, but

there was a core group of comics when I started that had this agenda of like weaving out female comedians. I mean, they would outwardly say, women are funny to their faces, you know, and a lot of these women that they said it to have become extremely successful, i.e. Chelsea Handler, i.e. Whitney Cummings, these types, you know, they had to endure this, this, you know, you know, sexism in the comedy game and blunt and brutal sexism. I want to say something.

Yeah. I think it's bullshit to say that those girls are successful because they were treated badly by men. No, that's not what I said. Because you say, yeah, there's a resilience there and the fact that they're able to. I'm saying, sweetie, just fucking listen, is that I'm not saying about their success.

I believe that those women, I mean, they're my fucking Chelsea saved my fucking career. You know, she had me on her show when no one in Hollywood would want anything to do with me. And I needed to get on her show so I could promote my shows. I it was dire and I am extremely grateful and I love her immensely. And I've always been, I have always thought she was funny. I've always thought that Whitney Cummings was funny and women, I bring more female comics to open for me than any other comic in around.

I love any kind of comedy, especially when it's different from my own. You know, I like variety. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is that I think that favor men, it was a part of a group of guys, I mean, at the comedy store for some reason or another, just never really felt like females were funny. But that's besides the point. This is a woman that he's written in his private life that he's trying to date.

This woman is not a comedian. Yeah, I know. So he's trying to get some pussy. But if that's how am I not right, you try and get pussy. I mean, my God, what kind of when Ari Shafir, I'm just saying, when our Shafir did that joke about that girl, Damien, without an arm. Oh, yeah, you remember that whole thing. Yeah. And they people try to lynch Ari.

You know what I mean? Damien did a video on YouTube saying, you know, you know, I'm like a victim. You know, he he said it on TV and, you know, and helpless. And a lot of people text me and call me saying, that Ari is a piece of shit. How are you friends with them and stuff like that? And it's like, but people don't know who she is. Oh, like people who don't want to know and get OK to be treated like shit.

We don't know who this lady is that he texted my favorite man. You know her. Apparently, there are girls who know her very well, who it would have. What if she's, you know, this was unwarranted, like it was unprovoked. Am I in trouble with this line of thinking? I I hope I know where you're where your heart is. And I know for a fact and we've talked about it that you you would never talk to a woman like that and you would never deem that acceptable.

Now I've never raped. I've never molested. OK, all right, now imagine. OK, can I just say this thumbs up? This girl apparently has a boyfriend and that's why she turned him down. Now imagine if my favorite men talk to me, I got a message the exact same way to me. Yeah. And you're my boyfriend. Yeah, but who is her boyfriend?

What is it? It matters. All right. If it's David to Cosby's, it was a boyfriend. David, it really matters. If he works at Kinko's, it still matters, but just not as much. Oh, I quit. I quit. Why? I'm not going to. Why are you mad at me right now, babe? Because for once, I want you to defend women.

I am going to defend them. Say it again. I want you for once, not to. What he did was abysmal and. Bad. I really is bad and he should not behave that way, especially because of the fact that he's married, right? And he married a little Asian one. Oh, she's Asian. Yeah.

Like she has a thick accent and stuff. Oh, wow. Which I don't find attractive. That's to each his own. You know what I mean? But I have an accent, dummy. You have no, but hers is like, you know, thick jungle. Well, like, remember, like, remember in platoon when Kevin Dylan shot that guy in the face and he was hopping up and down his leg because he shot his leg. That kind of back.

So hardcore. Yeah. That fanny character, he kind of acts up and he's playing. Tahoe, right? Is he Tahoe this week? Last week, are we plugging his show? You're playing. It already happened. So see that fan right now, even though he's not there anymore. But yeah, I what he did was wrong. And I just I don't know how to defend it.

There's no way to defend it. And if you were to ask me, are you Mike's friend? I go, yeah, he's all right. But, you know, I mean, I don't I don't hang out with them. I'm not close to him. I just know that he's worked really hard as a comedian. And these are some of the consequences of consequences of behaving that way. But, you know, he doesn't deserve to have his whole

career flushed on the toilet because of that, I don't think. Yeah. And that's that's a problem with with social media. You know, it's like you are a criminal before you wake even before you know it. Like you could be sleeping and something that you said via text three years ago could be put on blast, taken out of context and you could be criminalized before you wake up and start your day. And that's the danger of of all of this. It's and then people really, truly believe what they see immediately.

They don't try to understand that maybe there's a bigger picture or a bigger story. And I love Michael. I love Michael Richards. Well, he he did the hard the N word with a hard R multiple times, pretty, pretty hard. Yeah, he, um. Yeah, I mean, but that but see that right there, his decision to do that at the Laugh Factory, if you guys don't know, I mean, obviously, Michael Richards, it was a cast member.

He played Kramer on Seinfeld. He was at that Laugh Factory. I think everyone listening probably knows. And he said that he would hang black people upside down and put pitchforks in their butt, which they never used to do back then. So he just made that up. He made fake like he acted as if like that was something that we did in America. Pitchforks. Yeah, we never did that.

We hung up, hung up. And that was that lynched them, which is wrong and awful. But, um, yeah, but there's there's it's hard to. So what he did, but what he made the mistake, just I just because I've never really talked about it is is that and he made a mistake of even just going up in that specific show. Why? Because Freaky Monday was the urban show. You're Michael Richards. What the fuck are you performing there for?

Pretty white because I'm pretty I can. I'm a little bit more relevant to urban rooms. And I'm not when I say urban, it's not racial. That's just that's what they call what they call history calls. The industry calls it urban rooms. So don't write me a fucking letter saying you're a racist by calling it. That's what they call it. And I've done them urban rooms and I'm 50 50, but they're very difficult to do.

And I don't know why he even would choose to do that. But I did not know that was an urban room. He did that in. Yeah, he did. And I thought that was just a regular crowd. No, no, no, no, holy shit. And then also, secondly, hang. But he still worked. I mean, he did an alley alley.

What's that? Christy Alley show. Which one? The limousine one, whatever he was. The limo the one they offered me. You were you got for the same roles as him. Yeah, what happened was the showrunner of animal. You know, Kramer's career is going down the drain. Yeah, well, that's wow.

That's an attack. That's an attack. Yeah, that's purely an attack on me and my career. But that's no holds barred. But anyway, yeah, animal practice showrunner did that show. Christy Alley show in the knee goes. Hey, do you want to do this show? And I go, I don't know.

I heard these weird things about Christy Alley. Oh, like, yeah. She's just not fun to work with. Diva, I just different weird things. And I just she just seems to. So I just said, no, but he did that. And so he's still kind of. But you know what, because of I mean, I'm just saying what he did was wrong.

But you made, you know, his there was there was their syndication alone was like one hundred and fifty million dollars. They made so much so much money. It's like, but you know, at the end, what what amount of money would you have in your bank account to be able? OK, what amount of money would you feel safe having in your bank account to say the the N word with a hard R out loud in an urban room? One hundred and fifty million dollars.

Then you'd say hard R's all day. I don't think I would do it. No. I mean, I've said the N word before. We all have. OK. But in what context? I do it strictly to get a laugh. To Eric Griffin's face. To Eric Griffin.

But also Eric Eric Griffin's called me a panface gook. Like it's just a part of how we talk to each other. But just then, yeah, it's it's no. I mean, I've done it too. I do really gay shit in front of Ian Edwards, not because he's black, because he doesn't like it. Yeah. But I do it for funsies. I don't do anything.

I have never done anything in life out of a mean spirit. Yeah, I do it out of love. You know what I mean? And happy. And here's another thing I want to talk about love and happiness is that Charlie. So I was at the Phoenix Phoenix doing a couple of shows. My parents were there. Nice. And my dad is sick. He was in the hospital. He's better now. And but Charlie was what Charlie was in my hotel room

and we're looking up stuff online. And I go to this. I don't know why. And this is I feel so bad about it. But I go to different cities, talent agencies. Like you go to their websites. No, yeah, there's a place there's this thing called because back when I was on that TV, the producers, right, you got to check out this website. It's called Philly Faces.

Yeah. And it's just this agency out of Philly. And so then you see these. They have a roster of actors. All the headshots. No, you see the reels. Oh, I see. And so there's another one out of Cleveland called Taxi Management. And that's a town agency. Yeah, I swear to fucking God. There are some talent on there that is so unbelievably funny.

I can't even. And I mean, Charlie, we how hard were you laughing? Like, connection. It's like I almost died. It was one of those laughs where you didn't hear them laugh for two minutes because they were we couldn't breathe. They couldn't breathe. Like we were collapsed on the ground because there was a sequence of videos that I have to show you in order to get you to that point of laughter

because there's a callback in this and that. All right, guys, there's there's a girl on there. Her entire. I know we should not be fucking. And I'm going to blow up there. No, no, no, no, I want you to say. Say your thing. But before I you say that, all right, I just want to say that we're not making fun of these people. Yeah, it's their dream. They're it is their dream.

But can I just say something? Because I've had experience with this. Yeah. There are certain management companies that actually take money from these unsuspecting people who think that they're going to make it and then they pay money and they say, yeah, we're going to represent you. They do this a lot in modeling because I remember even even here in LA. Yeah, they'll be like, oh, yeah, we'll recruit you and we're managed.

We know we seek out talent and then you pay this amount and then we're going to represent you. So this, I think, is one of those places. That's why I mentioned this. So this girl's entire reel is of her assembling a vacuum cleaner and it doesn't even zoom into her face. It's just her head is cut off and it's just her body. She auditioned for a QVC.

What is? Yeah. And I think it's her audition for QVC. And it's it's it's really sad and funny at the same time. I mean, there's a couple of that do have talent. I'm not being I'm not being real. Yeah. There was one older guy that like his monologues are pretty good and whatnot. But what I want to say to these people is that you you have a dream. I want you to have a dream. I want you to pursue your dream. All right.

But don't take shortcuts. All right, doing it there and not moving to either New York or LA is a shortcut, small market. It's a small market. What you do is you go into a big pond with big fish, right? And you compete. And if you have the talent, you will rise. I promise you.

But some of these people and like I was in Portland at the mall. And there was a gigantic talent show that people paid money to do. I know with the with the runaway runaway. Right. Bullshit. But the funny thing is, is that they introduced these judges. This judge is from Akron, Ohio. And he's, you know, I mean, an agent out of this thing. And then they all kind of stood up and you knew that they weren't there.

Not these people, right? Tina from Anteans. But what I did was because a couple of the contestants recognized me. So I stood there staring at the judges and like the host to like to just go. I know what you're doing. You're scamming all these people. Yeah, these. This is a highway robbery. And anyone that pays money to do that is a fucking idiot. Well, no, they just don't know.

Yeah, yeah. If you I was telling to Charlie this. They trick a lot of these. Yeah, I was telling parents. Parents, parents. When I started doing stand up in 1995. The first thing that entered my mind is this. This is going to be a long road. You just I just you just know you just know that I'm going to go up

10,000 times for years. And I may or may not make it. But I know that that is the road. That is what I need to do to get to where I need to go. Because I don't I don't come from show business background. My parents are working class. They own a clothing store. Restaurant, right? They barely speak English.

All right. I don't have that connection. So I had to come to LA with nothing knowing nobody and crawl my way up. And I think I think I did pretty good. I crawled to CAA. I have great, you know, I mean, I've been on shows, movies, whatever. Right. But it's like, if you don't know that that's what it takes, then you're not going to make it. Am I not right?

No, I mean, Charlie Finn, you know, he's been on two TV shows. You know, he's been our guest and one of my best buddies. And he knows how difficult it's difficult. You know, by your you just came here and you realize what it takes. So anyway, anyone that like given given that everything is available on the Internet now, you should, at the very least, educate yourself about what the process is about, like what it actually takes. Because back then, and I mean, all of these videos that we were looking at

this quote unquote management, it looked like a bad infomercial from the 90s. It looked like something that was put out in the 90s of like and they were just scamming people who were so unaware from these really small towns. Yeah. But it's like, it's a small market. I mean, nine year olds can operate Reddit, you know, better than me. Yeah. They can, you know, it's and another thing is when people come up to me, go, how do I get an agent or a manager?

It works. But no, this is how you do it. They come to you. You. OK, that's it. I've never, only one in the first two years, did I do headshots? After that, I said, fuck this, because nobody wanted them. They came to you one day, Matt called me and said, I can't get you at Gersh, because that's where my agent was at the time.

He goes, I just became an agent, but I'm going to look out for things for you. And that's how it started. Yeah. But it's like, and that guy, the reason why Matt even knew who I was was because he'd see me go up a hundred times. You mean at the comedy store? So that's I'm just saying that that's if you if you wanted to ask and you're listening, I want to become an actor or a comedian. That's fine. Do the work.

That's all. Educate yourself. Is it wrong to even play this right now on the because some of them are so good. Well, they know the thing and they can look it up now. They can look it up. Their website is going to crash. You're going to get so much traffic or bandwidth. Everyone's watching these reels. I mean, these reels are so good.

I mean, some of the reels are like deep, deep good. No, you don't even know who that person was that you're even looking for. That's how little they're in it. We're going to watch it after this. I got to say. That's going to be great. But anyway, that's I just feel like it means that mean for me to do. But I just I just laughed at it.

And I just let's talk about our trip to Arizona. What is it? What do you want to talk about? I mean, a lot of things happen in Arizona. On the way there with. Oh, my God. Well, we leave here at midnight for starters. Oh, wait, who are you on me? I can wait. So now you're going to talk. OK. I'm just going to before we get into it, I'm going to say something really nice.

First, I'm going to I want to say this before you say that. Is that you want to be real about it? I want to be real about it. But I also want to say something positive and nice, OK, which is at the end of this ordeal that we had. Bobby and I hit a milestone in our relationship and he gave me flowers for the very first time. Wow. Dead ones, but still no, they're flowers.

It's they were all dead. Hey, I'm fine. Deader flowers, the ones that I got you were the freshest ones. Believe me. Really? Oh, because for 30 minutes, I was fucking rifling through this fucking garden. Usually you broke into a garden. No, I went to this place where I was next to, you know, I mean. Yeah, florist florist.

Yeah, it was so hot there. So the transport of holding flowers in that 104 heat. They don't survive out there. OK, go ahead. So we leave. We drive to Phoenix. We leave at midnight. And I have press at seven forty five. So you don't sleep. OK.

So I have one. OK, so I have one press, which is the most important radio show. And they're so busy that they only can a lot, a lot, a certain. They're so tightly scheduled. So it's like we go from eight ten to eight thirty. And if he's not there, you don't do press. So let's start. We leave. You're already sounding defensive.

I'm not being defensive. That's what. I'm not being defensive. You're like prefacing this whole story with. I just want to throw that and then go and tell the story. That was a little thing before the store. No, there's not much to the story. We're hyping it up as if there's so much.

But basically we leave at twelve and I made I made the worst mistake. I have my cardiac episodes always happen in my sleep. Always ninety nine percent of them happen in my sleep. And I told myself during this drive, don't fall asleep, Kalilah, because you don't want to risk getting an episode in the middle of the desert. Oh, God. But we were listening to an audio book and I drifted off to sleep. And sure enough, around four a.m.

We were about two hours away from Phoenix. I wake up unable to breathe. My heart rate is over two hundred. I am completely diaphoretic. I'm sweating. I'm shaking. I shake a lot when I have these episodes. And when it happens, it's terrifying. It really, to me, I just wake up and I'm like, oh, it's like, I can't.

And we're now, now, though, we're in the middle of the desert. So she wakes up when the middle of the desert you react. And I'm like, we've got to find a hospital. But we're in the fucking desert. There's a long stretch of nothing right before you enter Phoenix. Maybe a good two and a half hours out. Maybe so I Bobby goes into Google. He searches for hospitals.

We find one hospital in the middle of like Blythe, Arizona. And it only had like 10, 10 beds in their emergency room. Yeah, small ass operation. So he's trying to speed through the dark. We get there and I'll be honest with you. And this could sound a little. OK, OK, but it's not just listen. I was a little freaked out because it looked country.

Country. That's fuck. That's fuck. I see you're saying tumbleweeds. OK. You know, it's like, wow, we're in Deadwood. You know, we go into the emergency room. I go out to the car. They bring her in and then I come in. She's on the bed. She has like little wires attacked.

What do you call them? Yeah, Leeds Leeds. I'll trust her body. And the head nurse was Asian. Half Asian, half Asian. And all of a sudden he felt better. So much relief. He took a deep breath.

No, it really, it really does. If it was white people, I would be freaked or other colors. But when I see when I'm in a hospital and I see an Asian, I just go finally real professional health. And you know what, it's like, it's like this. And this is going to sound fucked up. It's comforting. But it's not, it's not. I feel not as comforted as if I'm sitting in an airplane

and I realized the pilot's black because I don't know why. When I ever see a black or a Mexican pilot, I go, oh, fuck. So it has to be when we take off, I hold on to the things. You know, we're going to talk about this in a little while. And I'll tell you why that is a really, really stupid feeling you have. So you like a white guy? Let's finish the story first and we'll go back to the pilot later. Just listen, there's just certain jobs.

OK, where if I see a certain race, then I feel just a little bit more easier. I'm going to do a study. I'm going to say I'm going to say in occupation. You say a race. OK, let's let's finish the story first. And then we'll play your stupid game. I'll just call you out real quick before we continue. Do it. I'm in trouble.

You are the only Asian that I know in existence who has a black accountant. So you're actually not as racist as you think, my friend. I'm not racist. I know. But what I'm saying is if you saw you saying you get scared of a pilot. I just say this, though. But you're not afraid of a black guy with any money. My accountant is black, Clinton, and I fucking love him

and I trust him with every fucking penny that I've earned. I really do. He's family to me. And he's this old black guy who lives in Marina Del Rey and I trust him with my life. But it took me two years to sign with him. Because my manager goes, I know a guy named Clinton. You need an accountant. I met with him. I just called her. I go, I don't know.

What do you mean? He's the best. He does Stevie Wonder's manager, all this stuff. Oh, then so. Yeah, yeah. So I went and chopped around a little bit more and then two years later, I met with him again. And then I said, that's it. Anyway, go ahead. So I'm blind. Grace, I kept Asian Asian lady in the.

You could have gone without telling that story. All right, so Asian lady. All right, I don't care. I say I'm not editing. Yeah. All right. Fuck the edits. We're good. Fuck the edits. So Asian Asian lady, she does it. So at this point, I make a decision. I have I can either I'm scared of not having.

Having the help that I need if my symptoms worsen, right? So if I'm going into full SVT, if I'm going, whatever, whatever, I'm afraid that in Blythe, they don't have proper what it needs to convert me to convert, meaning they give me a denocene in my heart. Right? It's the jumpstart, my heart, whatever. So I tell Bobby, I'm going to ask for an EKG. We're already running late. We've been there in the hospital.

He remember he has to be at press at seven. Seven. Yeah. Right. So it's four o'clock. We're still we're about two and a half hours, three, three hours away. Yeah, we're cutting close. Yeah. So I told him, I feel like shit still, but just give me my EKG. I can read my EKG and I can gauge whether or not I'm safe. I can we can drive for two and a half hours.

That's terrifying. You're self-diagnosing. Yeah, she goes to because they were going to do blood work. They're going to do all of that. I was like, no, don't do any of that. I just give me my EKG, got my EKG. Definitely abnormal for any about there who cares. It's it was abnormal. It's an abnormal EKG. Then I think to myself, fuck, I can't, Bobby cannot be late to press. I don't feel well, but fuck it. Let's brave it.

I feel so bad about this. So I brave it. I'm not feeling good. I was like, Bobby, just pedal to the metal. Let's just two and a half hours fly to Phoenix at the very least. If I get worse, they have bigger hospitals there that can take care of me. Right. So we get to Phoenix. That was your thought process for all this. Holy shit. I always put him first.

First, when I got out of surgery a month ago and that person was trying to extort him, I always put him first because that's just my natural instinct, not because I like that. Yeah, but that's just, you know, it's you. Yeah, I'm weak. I don't know anything. I understand that there's money to be made. He needs to do press. He needs to sell tickets. So obviously I take that into consideration. If I get sick or the hospital bills need to get paid and Papa's going to pay it.

You know what I mean? So I know that for me to stay healthy and for all my needs to get met, too, he needs to make press so tickets get sold. So Bobby makes money. Like I still have to think of that whole process. So that drive to Phoenix, were you like guys freaking out like, oh, not really. Not really. No, I started to feel a little bit better. Thank God. I still felt a little nauseous. I still felt like, you know, nervous. So we finally get to Phoenix, but about outside 20 minutes outside of Phoenix,

we hit really, really, really bad traffic. There were three accidents. Oh my God. On the 10th. One after another. One after the other. Worst luck. Yeah. And at this point, my bladder, because when I get episodes, I have to drink a lot of water. So I drank all this coconut water, tons of water, and my bladder was so full. And I told Bobby, I said, I have to pee.

Like, I cannot hold it anymore. I'm going to pee in the car. And he goes, well, we're going to be late to press. So I said, fuck it. Okay, I get a cup. I go into the backseat and I start peeing. He's into a coffee cup. Like I'm doing everything I can to get him to press. Everything I possibly can. And I'm nauseous. I'm like, you sweetie, like, I think I'm going to vomit

because that's what happens in my episodes. We finally get to our right around to the hotel. Someone cuts him off. I'm still in the backseat because I just peed. Yeah. And because she just had a breast operation. Yeah, I just had my breast implants removed. She's in the backseat now. Her breast hits my car. He slams on the brakes.

I mean, my back of my chair. My left breast completely collides with the back of his seat. And now my left boob is completely bruised. Yeah, she's screaming. Right. I'm screaming. I'm nauseous. My bladder is still full because I couldn't feel the whole cup. I disregarded her breast and I was basically going, where the fuck's the hotel? Because she was crying.

You both are just at level 10 right now. And also we haven't slept, mind you. So you guys are just. Yeah. All right. So then get to the hotel. Finally, I didn't even bother. I just went straight to the bathroom. This is what happened when we pull up to the hotel.

My guy is there to pick me up to go to press. And he tells me we got to go because we're late. Okay. We had to get there by eight 10. Okay. And it's now eight almost tight. No, 750. I was just, I was watching. Okay. Anyway. Look how more dramatic it was though. So then I, we put our stuff into the lobby of the hotel.

And I go straight for the bathroom. I peed and then I vomited because I was nauseous. I had a bruised hit. Everything was just a fucking mess. Right. I come back down to the lobby to, to find Bobby already gone. And I was livid. He dumped, he dumped his,

he just left all his luggage there, didn't check in, didn't do anything. He went straight to press and he couldn't, my, the reason I was upset was he couldn't wait one minute for me to finish peeing and vomiting before saying, Hey, babe, check in. Here's the stuff. I'm going to go. And that's why that's why I got flowers.

That's why I got our flowers. Ah, that's where the flowers came in. First time in my life. Did you smile? You know, I actually cried. I was so touched. It's so easy to make me happy. Like this, I was, I, when he left

and I was in the hotel room and I checked in, I was crying. I was reassessing my relationship. You know, what the fuck, how much more do I have to do? You know, I was kidding about the black pilot thing. Oh yeah. I really was.

I was kidding about that. I was trying to make a joke about it. You went to me. I know. I know. You know what I mean? And I've been thinking about that the whole time since I said it.

Yeah. And I just want to say that I don't, you know, in fact, I don't want to ever want to talk about race really again. Yeah. Yeah, let's, let's be, let that be the last. But before we do that,

let's play the game. All right. To say a race for what I say in occupation. All right. What do you mean? So if I go carpenter, first race. Oh, I said, I love, I love this game. This is a popular game, Koala.

We just made it up. But go ahead. Carpenter. White. All right. Accountant. Black. Interesting.

Good. College professor in philosophy. White. Farmer. White. Oh, wow. Okay. Strawberry picker.

Mexican. Okay. Farmer. They're not the same thing. It's like slave owner, slave. The same thing. They're not the same. But seriously, pilot.

White. White. Okay. I feel so bad about it. Massivitition. Black, actually. Interesting. Because they're really good.

You know, you, yeah. Okay. The black ones are really good. Neurosurgeon. White. Neurosurgeon. White. Okay.

I'm kind of no agent for doctors. Interesting. A nurse. Asian. Specific Asian. Filipino. And Korean. You have a lot of Korean nurses now.

This game is not fun. It's not fun. It's not fun. Because it's, you know what it is? Is that you're saying pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm doing it by the book.

And I wasn't trying to get laughs because I don't want to be racist. So that's the reason why the game didn't work. You know what I mean? If we wanted to play it for the other laughs. With other comics. It's going to be. It would be amazing.

Be way different. But I don't want to do it because, you know, in order to make, to get laughs, I feel like I have to get a little racial. I'm done with that. I think. I mean, now, listen. If you're a tiger belly fan and you like the racism,

it will happen again. For this episode. No. No more. Done. Done with that shit. Okay. I want to go back to pilots for a second.

Because on the way to Arizona. Done with that shit. Yeah. Can we go? Pilots. No, there is something to this because Bobby and I listened to the audio book Outliers by, what's his name?

Malcolm. Malcolm McDonough. Don't say Malcolm X. What's it? Gladwell. Gladwell. Malcolm Gladwell. And I want to say before she even says anything,

that fucking amazing, enlightening book. Very, very great book. But why? Written by a black guy, by the way. Oh. Why I feel like your instincts are a little wrong with the whole pilot thing is because Korean Air actually had the worst safety rating for a very, very

long time in the 90s. And they, they. Cultural. Yeah, and they kind of, they say that the reason is because there's different cultures with different, it's called PDI, which is power distance index. And in some cultures, in subordination is a really, really big issue.

Whereas others in other cultures like America, were able to speak up even to our superiors and then tell them what we really think, right? Yeah. So these Korean Air had a lot of plane crashes in the 90s because there, no one could tell the captain or no one could explicitly tell the captain what you're doing is wrong.

In a state of emergency, in a state of emergency, you need everyone in the cockpit, right? Working as a team, right? And doing a variety of things. No one should be the leader, right? Their whole objective is to land safely. Right. But in Korea Air's case, nobody underneath him,

like, I don't know. The captain. The first officer. The first officer. To say anything. Or the radar guy. I don't know. There's a word for that.

It's a flight engineer. So there's always the captain, the first officer, and then the flight engineer, right? So apparently, like they use this one example of a plane crash by a Korean airplane crash in Guam. And they listen to the audio of it. And the first officer and the flight engineer knew exactly what was wrong and what the pilot was doing wrong.

But they never explicitly told him. They hinted at it nicely because that's just culturally or not allowed. It's in subordination. The first officer said, because the captain was going to land by sight. And the first officer in his head is like, it's raining really hard and we can't see anything.

So I'm just going to say something. And he goes, it's raining pretty hard, huh? He's hinting at it. Hinting at it. And he's like, yeah, I guess. And then that was it. He never said anything else. But what the first officer was supposed to say is,

I think that it's raining really hard. We can't land this way. Right. Right. And this is where, you know what I mean? This is a dire situation. It's like super Asian culturally. So certain countries, then they call this a heat.

And the captain's backhand, there was an incident where a captain backhanded a first officer in the face. Yeah. What? Even saying it, not in that specific situation, but they physically assault people. Yeah.

So they're saying like, for instance, in the Korean culture, the first officer in the flight engineer likely bowed to this pilot even before they went on the flight. So there's a lot of like, you know, that's a culture of honor and ranking, right? And respect and all of those things. So you have countries like Brazil and Korea

rank highest in the power distance index. And that means that ranking and honor and respect is a very, very big deal versus American. And I guess in our Americaness, we end up being safer pilots because we are able to speak out. So what Korean Air did to rectify their mistake is they had to eliminate that whole culture. System.

And get with a universal, you know, way of equal, you know. Yeah. So they made every Korean pilot, number one, speak English. Yeah. If you don't speak English, you're not flying our flights. Because that's a flight language.

It's a flight language, right? And another thing was they gave an example of like a Colombian flight, correct? Yeah. In New York. Yeah. So Colombia also ranks high in the power distance index. Yeah.

And they were intimidated by who are the... The traffic control, ATC, air traffic control. The New York traffic controllers are like... Because they're American. And they speak to other American captains with no, like, hierarchy. Like, dude, are you going to do it or not? You know what I mean? They're very intimidating.

They're telling exactly what to do. Right? Because we don't have that as Americans. Like, I can go up to Donald Trump and go, go fuck yourself. And it's fine. In Korea, though. In Korea, you can't do it. No.

You'll get in trouble. And it's the same reason why even that Korean Ferry incident with all those kids, they were told to stay inside as the ship was sinking. Yeah. They kept it over the thing, said, stay in your thing. And then they drowned when they knew that they were going to die. They just stayed in there anyway.

Because they were told by another Korean adult to stay in their little cabin, right? So they just drowned. But that captain of that ship, abandoned ship, the Korean Ferry captain, he's in prison for life. Yes, he should be. He should be. Yeah.

But you know what? The thing is, and it's my culture, because I'm the only Korean in the room, and I just want to say out loud right now that there is no captain in this fucking room. We're all in the same boat, and we all have the same power structure. All right?

It doesn't seem like it. I know it doesn't seem like it. You make Gilbert and I. I know it doesn't seem like it. It's the way I talk. Well, no, you force us to bow every time we see you. You have to bow. You have to bow.

I'm so tired of bowing. You have to bow. You have to bow. And you have to call me sir. Right? And you have to call me sir. When the camera's not on, right? Do we all have to eat rice still out of a little dog?

Yes. I'm so tired of bending over and kicking. But when you're eating the rice, just remember that we're the same. All right, we are the same. I mean, we're all unique. We're snowflakes, and yet we're the same. We're snow.

All right? So I want everyone in this room to know that. You too, George. We're all on the same playing field, even though I make more money than all of you combined. Yeah, we're all the same. We cannot override the captain's orders, guys. Yeah, I'll backhand you.

We're all going to die in the ship. I'm first captain. You're flight engineer. We're fucked. Yeah, we're fucked. We're dead. We can't tell them anything. We can't tell them anything.

We can't even tell them Bobby, don't be racist. Bobby, don't be sexist. We'll get backhanded. Also, on Outlier, they talked about why Asians are good at math. What was their reason? Rice culture. Rice culture. What do you mean by that?

What do you mean by what do you mean? Just read the book. We're not going to give up. No, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because they eat rice. Because I'm not really good at it. But I know the gist of it.

It's basically when you're harvesting rice, it takes a coordinated effort. And it also takes American farmers. They have machines, right? And there are certain parts of the year where they don't work, right? And so it's like they don't work as hard. You have to cultivate rice, work 12 hours a day,

and it has to be specific. Like the water has to be a certain level, right? Or it ruins it, right? Positionally, right? So they need a coordinated effort. So they work constantly 12 months out of the year. So they always wake up before dawn, before the sun rises. And they have to look ahead and make sure

that they're harvesting enough to last their grains the winter or the tougher seasons, which is not rice. Wet rice season. And so basically they're saying that Asians have a lot of patience, persistence, and... And they work. Yeah, and so basically when it comes to a math problem, it's not that other...

Let's say let's use an American kid, for example. It's not that the American kid has a lower IQ or is less intelligent. The Asian kid just has more patience and will work on a problem for five minutes until, before asking for help, versus the American kid who will look at it for 10 seconds and be like, I don't understand this.

I'm going to go get some help. So that's how they explain it in outliers. It's essentially work ethic. Like a lot of people think that Asians are just smart. And it's not true. It's not true because I'm dumb. Yeah, I'm stupid. And I wish I grew up in a rice culture.

But by coming here... It's never too late, baby. What my parents did, though, was they had me here and, you know, because a lot of... Like, you know what is so funny? Because a lot of these immigrants, they come here for their children. Yeah.

And they want their children to have culture, education, have a variety of friends, and just have a big life. But what they don't realize is that if you're going to have your kid here in America, your kid, you're rolling the dice. Because 18 years later, you could have tattoos on his face. It could have tattoos. You know what the skateboard, you know what I mean?

Shaved head, no shirt walking around, and it's your daughter. Your titties just hanging out, right? You know what I mean? And you're like, what happened? I'm a lesbian. You know what I mean? And you're like, oh, I had him here. You know what I mean?

America just fucks people up in many ways. Hmm. No? Yeah. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Yeah, because I think about what my life... Yeah, I think you're wrong.

I think you're wrong. I think about what my life would have been if I stayed in the Philippines, continued staying in a very tight-knit community with an international school, with a great, like, you know, IB program. All my friends in the Philippines are successful. They hold high-power positions, right?

Every single one of them, except for me. Yeah, because you came here. But I don't feel... I don't... There are things about myself that I truly am proud of, that I feel as though I would have never gained if I continued to live in a very safe, tight-knit, perfect community as the international school that I went to in the Philippines.

That's true. And I was able to see a different... I was poor when I got here, which was a very stark difference from my life in the Philippines. I live in the hood. My school was half-black, half-Mexican. I was... I got street-savvy and all those things I'm proud of.

What she said, she grew up in the hood. Why did you smirk? Because you looked at me right away. No, why did you smirk? Because you're going to talk about Glendale, Pasadena. No, I lived on Summit Avenue. If anybody, if you were in LA, drive by Summit and Mountain

and tell me if you think that's a great area. I've never been there. It's very dangerous between the yogurt store and the diesel store. Have you taken him there? He's never seen it. I think we all got to go. Yeah, and stand outside for five minutes

and see how you feel. But if my parents never had... If they had me in Korea, and we stayed in Korea, I feel like I would have had just an abysmal normal life of just working in an office or a factory. I don't know, you know, it's like...

I believe that I'm the way I am because I am an American and I was able to just do whatever I wanted to do. And I'm extremely blessed that they had me here. Because the alternative, it's unthinkable to me. Yeah. I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine in an office?

Or just in some sort of like, I have to carry rice bags to one point to another and I tell some joke. You know what I mean? Because it would still be kind of funny, I think. And then have them go, don't, no joking! You know, sorry, you know.

I think it would have been an awful lot. I mean, they do have comics there, I guess. Actors, but I look the way I do too, which makes it... Like Ken Jeong is talented, you know what I mean? But he's a fucked up looking guy. Yeah, he looks really good. He does? He is?

You haven't seen him in real life. He's got skinny arms. You haven't seen him in real life. I've analyzed his hands, his feet, his neck, everything. He looks so normal to me. No. Maybe he looks like just a standard Asian guy. He's not.

But you know what, I also... Yeah. He's just kind of like... My standard for normal is also a little skewed. Yeah, me too. I'm not normal. Yeah. I'm fucked up looking, you know?

Yeah. We were at the hospital to visit Bobby's dad. And his mom was changing the dad's g-tube, which was an stomach, so she had to lift his hospital gown up. Okay. And what were your observations about your dad, baby? If you're going to say

that my dad has a bigger dick than me right now. You said that! I cannot even fucking believe that you would bring up my dad's sick and that you're saying that my dad has a bigger dick than me. No, I didn't. You said that. He...

He does. He definitely does. But what I'm saying is you said it first and I just agreed. Oh, wow. You said, mom, dad has a bigger dick than me.

And you kept looking at it, and so obviously it was right in front of my face. I looked, and yes, he does, by a lot. Jesus, Koala, easy, man. What the fuck? Relax, lady. It's so much bigger than his dick. She keeps repeating it.

All right. But I wasn't, like, trying to purve out. I'm just, like, making, you know, I just agreed with him. He's got a bigger dick than me. All right. And it's not, his shaft is not as hairy as yours.

Baby, if you stop talking about my dick. There's dad's dick. Or my dad's dick. You... Let me say this, though. Can I just say this? In my family, I'm second, because my brother's dick is smaller than mine.

There you go. So Stevie's, like... He's bronze. I'm not saying you have a small dick. I'm just saying your dad's bigger. Okay. Okay. Maybe I never said you had a small dick.

Okay, okay. My dad has a bigger dick. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. Next time my dad is undressing or whatever, don't look at my dad's dick. I actually... Can you not... If your mom was sick,

and she was pulling up, I would not look at your mom's vag. Interesting. I go, your mom's vag is tighter than your vag. Wow, you didn't know from what... Imagine if I said that. Your mom's vag is pinker and tighter,

like a little baby's fucking vagina. Number one, I didn't say it. I merely agreed with you. Yeah. You said it first, and I just nodded and said, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right.

That's all I said. Yeah. Oh, man. Jesus, baby. He gets so angry. I'm not angry. My dad has a bigger dick, and he's sick,

and that's that. He's got bruises all over his body. It's really hard to see him that way. It really is difficult to see somebody that you were so frightened of growing up. He was a guy that we just feared, and he is a shell of a man. He's old.

He's extremely emotional, because when you went down with my mom, I was just meeting my dad in the hotel room, in the room, and my dad started crying. He just cries. Oh, man. You know what I mean?

I love you so much. You know what I mean? And it's really just really sad, and it's an unavoidable part of life, and when you're in it, it's like, I don't know. I mean, it's not sad, I guess. You just think to yourself,

wow, this is a part of life, but I just never knew. As a kid, you never think that you're ever going to be in this position to take care of your folks. But here we are. They always seem invincible.

Your parents will always seem like they cannot get sick. They can't falter. They'll always be just these strong pillars in your life, but that's just not the case. I wanted to point out something that really frustrated me in the hospital,

and we talked about this, is his parents don't... His mom speaks English perfectly. To me, she speaks perfect English, but there is an accent barrier there. So, obviously, when people are talking to her in English too fast, she's not going to understand it.

His dad isn't able to articulate sentences very well, but it's the way they were treated by the doctor and the first nurse. They didn't bring my dad breakfast, the fry. Yeah, and he has blood sugar issues. Yeah, and my mom goes,

they don't respond to... The doctors come in, they don't say hi, they don't talk, and they treat my parents. If my brother and I aren't there, when my brother's there, they get shit done,

because my brother looks like he's going to kill them. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, when I walked in with Kalayla, my mom's complained like they're treating us like immigrants, right? So then Kalayla presses the button, the nurse comes in,

and she looked like she was scared because she sees both of us. You know what I mean? And then I try to... And this is going to sound really gross, but this is what I try to do always is I'll do a little walk around just so that anyone recognizes me.

Because I think that it works. Yeah. I think... I really do... Let me say something right now. If you were a nurse, right, and there was this old white man complaining, my pelvis.

Oh, whatever. My pelvis is burning. My pelvis. And you're like, I don't want to fucking help this white man's pelvis, so you don't go in there, right? But then you realize it's Leo DiCaprio comes in, and that's his dad.

Would you be more attentive? Oh, of course. Would you really? Yeah. Then you're a fucked-up nurse, because you should... No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

No. You're not a fucked-up nurse. I think that's the way the world works. So that's that. I don't see it that way. I would treat anybody, and as should every nurse who ever takes... If you're in health care,

you should just be good. You should treat everybody as if they were your own family member. That's all you just said earlier. No, I thought you were saying General Wood, someone else. No, I said you. And that's...

Don't go back to what... To fix it, you're a bad person, I accept. Okay. And that's the one thing, too. It's like... They need it.

My biggest... The captain says... What's wrong with me? The captain's... The captain's back at it. Back again. We're all... We're all equal guys.

The guy that walks around the hospital. No, shut the fuck up. I love you guys, man, and we're like... You know what I mean? Yeah, man. Yeah. It's...

The doctors came in. His mom didn't understand. A thing they said. We weren't there yet. They don't even look her in the eye. Five minutes of just throwing out medical jargon. And his mom's just like, I think we're going home today.

So I get there, I call the nurse, and I'm like, look, I'm going to need a very explicit plan of what to expect here, because his parents think they're going home today. So give me his... And I ask for the labs,

I ask for everything. And the nurse goes, oh, no, he's going to be here three to four days. Yeah, she didn't know. And it's such... That is a very, very big break in communication. If his parents think that they're going home that day,

and the lady's like, no way, he's not going anywhere. In the meantime, his mom doesn't have a bed to sleep in. You know, she would have at least like... It's as simple as that. It's just like basic fucking common sense. But when nurse...

Not all nurses, there's some great nurses out there, but some people, they see Asian families. They automatically assume they're the types who won't press the call light. They won't burden you with much, but they exploit the fact

that there's a language barrier. So they don't treat that patient as well as they would somebody who constantly asks for help. So I told his mom, look, I know that you don't want to burden anyone, but that's their job. You press this light for whatever you need. They get to serve you breakfast,

lunch, and dinner on time. And it's a blessing to have a girlfriend that knows... Because she's a nurse. She knows all the jargon, the rules. I know, but you're trained, and you went to school. And it's like,

it's just a relief to just have a girlfriend that just knows that shit. Because when you're sitting there, I don't have to say anything. I just look mean at the nurse, like, you better get this fucking thing done. They just do it. Yeah.

And then they see her know about the world, right? And say the right things. Let me see the EKG, all these little medical things, right? And then they look at my parents in a different way. Because now they fear that we're going to come back. Yeah. They fear something goes wrong.

But I don't know much about that world. I'll be honest with you. I had never been to a fucking hospital, really, until I met Kalyla and my dad, I'd say. Which is all around the same time. So this is a whole new world. Like, I've been to more hospitals, you know what I mean, in the last three years,

than I've ever have been. Yeah. And to see the world from what I... It's a scary system. It's a scary system. To see Quincy Jones, you know, about his, with his cancer and all that stuff. Yeah.

It's scary. Quincy Jones has stage four cancer, and they only started treating him well, and they saw him on TV. And that's not right. That's so... As soon as he got on Ellen, all of a sudden, you know... Well, if you have cancer, get on Ellen.

Apparently, that's the way. Yeah, you gotta get on Ellen. Yeah, it's a fucked up system. It's a fucked up system. It's a scary system, because if you don't loudly advocate for yourself, and I mean advocate, just be stern and be firm, and you really have to push the issue almost,

you're sort of fucked. You know, and I felt really bad for his parents, because, you know, his mom is just like, he didn't eat yet, you know? There was a gay comic named Steve Moore. He was from the 80s, and when I started doing stand-up, he was a headliner.

He doesn't live in L.A. anymore, but he had HIV. But this is back when HIV was... The epidemic was new, you know? They didn't know about it. They still had... No, but no, they still had the cocktails, but it was new.

Yeah. But only like guys like Michael... Magic Johnson could get them. They're richies. Yeah. So somebody set up a doctor's appointment for him, and he... I remember him telling me he had to beg the doctor,

I will do... I'll do a show, a free show for you and the doctors right now, with my comic friends. Just please, can I get on the cocktails? Anyway, one thing led to another, and they did a show for doctors for free or whatever, and he was able to get on it.

Wow. But it was stuck with me that story of like, wow, if you were in a comic, he was friends with Robert Williams and some other people that helped, I guess, you know what I mean? But like, if you didn't have those kind of connections and whatnot, you're dead. Screwed, yeah.

You're dead. He had to ask and beg and cry. You know what I mean? It's just like... It's a fucking crazy system. This whole thing. You know? So what time are we at?

It's 1... Good, 106. Oh, wait. Happy St. Totteringham's Day or belated. Mm-hmm. I don't know what that is. I'm going to tell you what it is. You better know what the fuck it is.

It's important. And from now on, you don't ever ask that. I didn't ask. Okay? My equal? All right. You bitch. My equal.

My Lord Commander. Yes, my Lord. Just real quick, I'm an Arsenal FC fan. We took second in the league. The league's done. The season's over. But what happened was Tottenham, our direct rivals, were ahead of us.

But the point in the year where we know, Arsenal knows that they're going to go ahead of Tottenham, is called St. Totteringham's Day. So in this day of the year, there's absolutely no way Tottenham is going to surpass our points. But they were second place this for four months ahead of us, up until the last day. Last game, last match.

Last Sunday. And they lost. We won, which gave us a point ahead of them. It was the best day of my life. So Tottenham could have actually won for the first, beat us for the first time in 20 years. Yeah. Yeah, they almost did until the last match.

They're more devastated by that than anything else in the year. That's crazy. Then losing the title of Leicester City. One game. One game. I love you guys. Unhelpful advice with Bobby and Kalana. Love you too, captain.

Hey, Tiger Belly. I'm a half Chinese, half mulatto young man. And I was hoping Kay could speak her mind on mixed ethnicity in the search for ethnic identity. So there's two questions. First, before we get to that, the first one is, in regards to Asian casting, do the disproportionate white man slash Asian woman couples on TV bother you guys at all?

That's an interesting question. What hears the thing is, is that it's the way you look at it. Because Asian women have had, had a 10 times easier time getting on film and TV in the last 30 years, because of the fact that they are objects of exotic desire from these executives, really. You know, Holly was run by male white executives and obviously they have dicks.

And they, they think that Asian women are exotic. And so they, we wouldn't, we were never used as males. But in the last 10 years, I mean, the relationship between Steve Yoon's character and the other girl from Walking Dead is a revolutionary relationship. Even having like Daniel Day Kim and his Korean wife and lost is pretty good. Those kind of relationships have never been shown.

And also now we have Fresh off the boat. Can, you know what I mean? So we're, you know, it's getting better. The proportions are still off. But for me, as long as I see improvement, there's really not much to complain about. I mean, I could. But yeah, I mean, it's getting better.

And I've been in this business for 20 years. And I remember when I first came here, they said, you're never going to work straight up. The agents would just say, you're never going to work. And it's like they were wrong. And because times have changed, diversity is hot. And also that's what's great about that movie, that that book Outliers, it talks about that.

It talks about timing. A lot of success has to do with what year you're born, what generation you're born into. So it's like, I think I was, I started at the right time because in the 70s, there were Asian male comics, but they were treated like fucking doormats. And they had accents and they relied on, like Johnny Yoon was one of the first Korean comics.

And that was in the 1970s. And I know what his opening line was. Because Argus told me, Argus, who's a comic that's 65, you know, you guys know. I saw him for the first time. That guy's fucking hilarious. Whoa. He's good.

He's great. He's a legend. Argus told me that Johnny Yoon had a thick accent and his first line, he would go up on stage, not say anything for like a minute. So the audience would sit in there and he would slowly go to the mic and go, Haddle.

And that would get a three minute laugh. Wow. Saying Harrow got a three minute laugh. That does the opposite now. I mean, that's like dancing monkey shit, monkey shit. And that's not, you have to tell jokes. You have to have a structure. I mean, obviously, you know what it's like now.

And for me, if it wasn't for Margaret Cho seeing her on HBO, her special, I would have never done it. But when I saw her, I was just like, I think I can do it because she seems like a sister, somebody that would, like if I had a sister, she would be it. Because she talked about, she said swear words, she talked about edgy things that I like to talk about.

And it seemed very real to me. So my number one person that got me into comedy was Margaret. I've told her that before. She is so important to me. Wow. Yeah. Good night.

We're not done yet. The second half of the question. Oh, for a class, speak on mixed ethnicity. So he's half Chinese and he's half Urlato. Why? Because you're a hundred percent. She's a hundred percent Korean. And you're the captain.

So the captain gets to leave the room. I thought we were equals. He just left the plane. Now we get to fly it. Can I have your portion of rice tonight? Can you see us? He's half Chinese, half Urlato. And he just wanted to speak your mind on mixed ethnicity

and the search for ethnic identity. Okay. So this is something that I struggled with when I first came from the Philippines. Because even when I met the Filipinos in the United States, they looked at me and to some people, I wasn't Filipino enough because I don't look Filipino. Yeah.

Obviously, whatever that means because Filipino is such a mix cultural anyways, right? So to some, I didn't look Filipino enough. So I wasn't Filipino enough. And to the Filipinos that were raised here, I was too fobby. This is great. So I was too Filipino. And I always struggled with am I or am I not?

But then I'm also half this and a quarter of this. And I, I determined this really young in my age that first and foremost, I just really cared about being Kalayla. Yes, living in the Philippines shaped me in, you know, into the person I am today, but very much the way living in Pasadena shaped me or being around, you know, being in America, living in Los Angeles. So for me, I stopped searching for an identity and just focused

on my, my individuality, irrespective of what race I am. Yes, we always talk about race on this podcast and it gets a little charged and we talk about the differences and whatnot. But those are, I never, the reason I'm never threatened by the talk of it is because I never put myself in the category of ever being stereotyped anyways. I don't care about the stereotypes of Filipinos. I don't, I don't get offended by those things because I never

put myself in a category. I'm Kalayla first and foremost and it will always stay that way, regardless of where I was born or who raised me. You know, I, I hold Filipino values like to my heart because my mom's Filipino, but I don't, I'm not conflicted in, in, in, in my race. I'm not conflicted in what, I don't need to feel ethnic, I don't need to know specifically what my ethnicity is because

50 years from now we're all going to be mixed anyways, right? Yeah. Unless the KKK gets their way. Um, but, but yeah, like I, I, I don't know what to tell somebody who is mixed because they, it's like this, I had a friend, a very, very white friend who grew up in the Philippines. He literally looks like you, George. He identifies so much with being Filipino because he was born

and raised there and he still lives there. It's a guy who speaks fluent Bessiah, you know, and everyone looks at him like straight up, but he doesn't have a drop of Filipino blood, right? But so where do you categorize him? But in himself, he is who he is first. Like he, he's proud of the fact that he, he's part of this culture. He knows the language, but I don't think that he's struggling to

find out just how white he is or where he falls in the category of, you know, in the spectrum of white people, you know? Um, um, so yeah, I think it's different for everybody. My, my parents were very good about just making me feel proud of being multi-ethnic, like multi-cultural. And I, you know, I, I've never felt conflicted in that. The only people who felt conflict, the only thing was people felt conflicted about me.

I never felt conflicted about me. Other Filipinos felt conflicted about me when I got here, but not the other way around. And I always even tried to be like, oh, hey, like I tried to make friends with them. Like, hey, I'm from Cebu. And some of them were like, not bitch, you're too fobby. Yeah.

You know, I'm like, God, like you guys are mean. Like, no, I'm just, I grew up there. Yeah. How do you want me to speak? Filipino. Yeah. You know, be less fobby. Less hard consonants.

Don't over accentuate your T's, but it's just, you know, it's what it is. So there you go, Michael. Uh, you have Chinese, half mulatto. That's a great make. That's, that's like, um, Tyson Beckford. Oh, he's like that too? Actually, no, Tyson Beckford is half Jamaican, half Chinese.

That's interesting. Yeah. Uh, any shows for Bobby? Uh, no, not this week and not next week. He has a Bakersfield show coming up actually, but I don't know the specifics of that. He hasn't told me. Um, did you want to talk?

Another Bakersfield? Yeah, another one. And you're, you're actually opening for him. So. What? Get your shit ready. Um, did you want to talk a little bit about, um, the fights this past weekend?

Oh yeah. Guys, UFC, if you don't like mixed martial arts, you can turn it off now. Exit now. Exit the building. Yeah. We're going to run it a little bit. In 1998 in Curitiba, Brazil.

I just learned how to say it properly because I kept hearing Curitiba. Because I used to say Curitiba. Huh? It's Curitiba? Like a dumb American. Look at Curitiba. Curitiba Brazil. It was a stadium show, 45,000 people.

Very big show. Probably the second largest audience to Roger's center. Cause I think Sweden only had 40,000. Um. And dude, the Brazilians were on a roll for a while there before the main cards. They kept, they were winning, man. They were winning and winning. And then-

Shogun won. Um, um, um, Nogara one, one that was such a crazy cyborg one. Sorry, but who I'm, I like now, I like her. And then you said she's not likable. Who cyborg? No, I didn't say she wasn't likable. I like cyborg. She wasn't like I didn't think Leslie.

Oh, Leslie. Yeah, she's weird. I didn't think she was as likable. No, I like cyborg. I think that it was unfair that she had taken Roids in the past. That's yeah, fucked up. And, um, you know, given that Usada is really strict on drug testing now, I hope that, you know, she has a long career, you know, PED free.

It gets paid because she's been that bitch can fucking fight. Man, such a long time. Yeah, man. She beat Gina Carano. I know she's actually put Gina Carano out for good. Yeah, she canceled her career. Hey, Gina, and I like Leslie, I didn't like it, but Leslie Smith was saying that she thought it was an early stoppage.

Yeah, she, the camera panned her and she said, fuck that. I was still awake. Fuck that. Did a ref save her from imminent death, man? She was going to die. You would, if you guys watch the fight, she was about to die. Yeah. But the biggest heartache of the night was when that entire, you know,

when silent, when Fabrizio Verdum got knocked the fuck out. That was a bad knockout. Like it was when he got knocked out, the ref was like, stay down. Yeah, not, not TKO, KO. He was doing the agonal breathing, you know, that type of like reverse breathing. Eyes rolled back, toes curl. Yeah. And Stipe is the best.

It's just silence. And he just jumps over, I'm world champion, I'm world champion. It's completely silent, though. It was cute. Yeah. There you go, Cleveland. You don't need the Cavaliers to win a championship. You got one, Stipe, and a Croatian.

And I like that he's just, you know, a hometown paramedic, right? Yes, he works at Jobstall too. So I guess he doesn't have to be a paramedic anymore. But he's not going to be a high paid MMA fighter either, which is a pity. He's a champion, right? And he's got like this fucking vicious knockout in this other guy's hometown. But believe it or not, he's not even going to make a 15th of what Conor McGregor makes.

Yeah, that's unfortunate. But yeah, guys, craziness. Yeah. But it was a really good card. I didn't watch the early prelims, but I read up on it and it was good. It's a good card. Yeah. Yeah, I watched it illegally and I'm ashamed of myself.

Wow. Don't say that. Do they not show fights in Arizona? They do. No, because I didn't fight pass. No, I have fight pass. Bro, Tiger Valley. Of course I fucking have fight pass.

Good. Let's keep saying fight pass. Tiger Valley brought by fight pass. I will. I have fight pass and I usually buy the fights on, which is UFC TV. You can just click and pay. Bobby and I have traveled everywhere, but there's some cities that we can't access that. Am I just like not aware?

Like what cities can't I access that? That's weird that you wouldn't be able to go on UFC TV and get that. So yeah, this is a shout out to you, Dana White. Fix your shit. I don't know if it's Dana White. I think it might be the state because if they restrict certain types of like viewing it has nothing to do with the UFC. Really?

All right, guys, we've talked about this way too much. What else you got? Anything to plug Gilbert? No. What's the address for a P.O. Box? Oh, really quick. You do it. You announce it.

You guys, if you want to send us some packages, we'll open them on air. We'll record them. The, I didn't say Bobby's name. It's the Tiger Belly and the address is 1626 Wilcox Avenue, Hilewood, California, nine zero zero two eight dash six two zero six. And for all your questions and unhelpful advice segment. What do you call it? I don't know.

Questions. Questions. Questions. Please write us at two. Please. I don't know. And it is sweet one six one. We're not going to lock it up.

Lock it up. If you have questions for our unhelpful advice segment or would just like to inquire about anything Tiger Belly related, kindly write us to theTigerBelly at gmail.com, find us on Instagram at Tiger Belly and on Twitter at theTigerBelly. Also, you can follow Kalyla on Snapchat and all social media at CalamityK. If you want to see snaps of my cat licking its dick. Jesus, okay. That's all there is.

It's just my cats. And make sure you follow George Kimmel at Gilbets. Have a good night. We'll see you next week. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today. Or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go. Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.