TigerBelly - Episode 58: Mr. Magoo and Leaky Lee
Episode Date: September 14, 2016Bobo is no Superman. Khaly watches a different CNN. Gilbo likes the dangerous sport of hickey. We talk podcast celebrities, du30, and zombies all over the world. Â Recorded September 12, ...2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube.com/tigerbelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today
Do you believe in the magic of love do you believe in the magic of love
Do you believe in the magic of love? I do too. Let's do it good
You like it. I love it's made that song up guys. I'm so fucking talented, bro
Yeah, well, no, don't you're being what you call it sarcastic. I believe in your talent. You do. Yeah clap again, then thank you
Thank you so much. I love claps. It makes my heart go for the flitter flatter
Yeah, welcome to Tiger Belly. I'm captain Bob. We got Kalilah
Gilbert and the widest dude on earth George George
You know why the other night he was on the phone
No, I'm gonna say it and he was getting off of a phone call and he got all right buddy rock and roll
That's what he said rock and roll, but to you he said rock and roll
No, no to a friend. He was on the phone some other white dude. That's how they talk to each other
Because he was a no, he was out like yeah, I was I was kind of listening in from around the corner
See you later buddy rock and roll. I'm like rock and roll
Oh, what do you think white people mean when they say I don't I don't know what that means
But it it does they're up to no good
You're rocking and rolling you're up to no good
But um, so that's one of your white things that you do the one of the white. Yeah
He says what the Frick with the Frick to why because of Battlestar Galactica
Oh, really and they say what the Frick I
Only know Mormons to say what the Frick he also says genuine. Oh, that's fine. It's an English word. It's fine
Yeah, I say genuine though. Yeah, potato potato
Oh
So I'm not gonna tell you what it was but this morning I had an audition for a TV show and it's
The I think that the worst human experience is auditioning I
Fucking hate it. I'm not good at it. It's torturous
And there's little things other people do in there to sabotage you
Like what other people auditioning? Yeah, like if somebody like it's like a celebrity walks in
Right, he'll sign his name and then just kind of stared everyone in the room to let them know that they're there
It's like fuck you dude. I'm not afraid
Same shit in the lower level stuff. Well, I said people with our levels like I go in there
Someone signs up they'll read everyone's agent. So if you're the bigger one like CAA or like WME
Yeah, they start asking the room like oh, bro, you're with WME too. Oh, who's your agent and all the smaller?
You know like reps we're all kind of like oh whoever does that
Whoever does that needs to die. Yeah, that's an owl skim live and I stick his body in a zero-pond of piranha
Okay. Hey, what's your what's done yet? Okay? I'm sorry, babe. I'm not fucking done yet
Okay, or it's like today. I'm sitting in the lobby and some white guy goes. Amen. I follow you on Instagram
And I said, thank you, but I go that's it
You don't talk to me anymore. Mm-hmm. He's what? Yeah, I
Don't want to be here. I had to focus
Mm-hmm, and he just kind of you know, he probably unfollowed me today
That's fine because I feel like I'm not done. Okay. There's a lot. I feel like you're gonna switch to the top
No, no, I'm not. Okay, go ahead. It's just when I remember being in school or before an exam and everyone would pile up
Outside of the classroom or in the hallways just it's it's just you couldn't drown out people trying to memorize last-minute stuff
And it would fuck up your own head. Yeah, I would never ever sit in that hallway
I would always be outside in my own space, you know trying to absorb last-minute information
But never when other people were there's noise. Yeah, it fucks with your head and your line of thought, you know
Yeah, you know when you said about the signing in yeah, I don't even you can't read what I say
That's it's unallegable. Is that the yeah, yeah, I do three lines as my name
Right and then my agency I put like a question mark and then I don't need to do the time thing
You know, you put when you came in what I don't do any of that
You probably booked so many things that they don't know who to contact. It was hilarious
He should be in the matrix really they're the one that called me and they don't know how they called me
Actually, that's true. Why the fuck yeah, I'm not signing shit. Okay, and then this is the worst
Mr. Lee or Bob are you ready and that walk to the coldest room on planet Earth and
As soon as you open your mouth, you know that you're gonna do well or not
It's the worst today. Thankfully, it was okay. Nice, but I just I hate it
I fucking hate it and I don't sleep like Lila has to take I just stay up
I have to run lines with him till about seven
The meanest person in the world to again again
Yeah, I do yeah, yeah, I mean if I look at this is not my audition if I stumble on a line get it right
You know, why do you know why she has the words in front of her? Oh, that's true, right? It's like, how the fuck can you not read it?
I'm sleepy. I'm
Seven a everybody and then and then he wakes up and then it's this is the worst part about it
He has to be up at 10 30, but not just him. The whole house has to be up for him
He throws the script at me and I'm in bed still half awake now. I have to run lines with him again
Did I do that this morning though?
I didn't because you wanted to sleep a little bit extra because I woke you up. Yeah at 10 30
And I said Bobby get up and he said no, no, I can't because you were tired
And you needed extra 30 minutes
So I woke you up in 30 minutes and you just went in but people aren't cold to you in the room, right? Because they know who you are
No, that's the word. I hate it when I hate it when they you can tell that they're fans or whatever
They know me from other stuff and as soon as I start doing it, you can tell that they're disappointed
No, you can see in their faces. They don't know how to hide it
You know, they kind of look at you with a smile, but then their eyes are like
Are he? Get this over with, you know, and it's like but this morning there was like a two-page kind of a monologue, right?
That you know, I nailed
Yeah, so that's gonna be a good feeling when you walk out the door, especially when you've nailed it
It does feel you know, you know, it's not it's not the feeling that you're gonna get it
It's a feeling that it's it's like when you're you're a soldier and you did you served your in Vietnam
Like in the late early 70s when they were flying home and they were alive really, that's what it feels like really
That's what it is. Yeah, and I feel like it is like Vietnam in there. You auditioned too, don't you for a battle-long beach?
Actually, could we talk about the audition process for that? How did you it was an offer? It was awful
Yeah, we're looking for someone with an accent
Cross-eyed and sweats a lot. We have so many towels. We don't know what to do with
Yeah, yeah, it's the best thing. I love that thing. Oh, man, you know that is to be buried. Yeah, I can't believe you guys
You could act I could never act you want you have a teacher right there
I can't even a teacher. I can't make eye contact with people if I don't if I'm not angry with you
Right, if I don't want to stress a point to you directly. I can't make eye contact with you
I think I have some type of like aspergers because if someone is let's say telling me a story
I have to keep turning away
Like I have to keep resetting myself because I cannot look at them. It's like overwhelming for me
But I only look at you directly if I'm stressing a point or if I'm upset. Oh, geez like he knows it
Yeah, otherwise, I will not I won't hold eye contact. It makes me uncomfortable
Not because I'm not listening to you. I just I feel overwhelmed like I can't absorb all that stimulus that is your face
Yeah, it's too much information for me to process your mouth moving your eyes blinking
You know, you okay? Yeah, I'm fine
What she's doing right now is she's trying to accept the fact that she's a podcast celebrity
And I keep telling her that because now I go in the road
No, I sort of got I go on the road and people go that listen to Tiger belly go
Oh, Kalilo is Kalilo here, and I just say she's a podcast celebrity now. Oh god, you're if people
Let me say something right now insane when people know who you are and who you haven't met
Yeah, and they listen to something that you do. Yeah, that makes you they're they're a fan
Oh, no, I I appreciate the love. Yeah, but you're a celebrity. You have to put that on your Instagram
Until my pockets are lined with cash
Yeah, I am NOT a celebrity unless I can say this is you know a
Job and I'm getting some type of like credit for it from people that actually like what I have to say
Oh, so what you're saying that people aren't sending you money. You're not doing out of the service of your own heart. No, it's not
You need fucking buckets of cash
You can admit that unless you're Joe Rogan or Brian Callan or like, you know, the Nerdist Chris Hardwick
I don't think you're a podcast celebrity. We're still in the lower
So what I'm saying right now, let me ask you this when when Brian Brian and Brendan started
And they were starting new why they didn't have the following they weren't celebrities. They were only celebrities until
They got the following
No, I think now they're at a point where they're even so they were celebrities
Well, Brendan was because you have your celebrity, babe. Can you stop? It makes me she's a celebrity. Yeah, for sure
Let's you find out clam to count Twitter Twitter your celebrity
Tigerbelly hashtag Bobby wins. Yeah, I get the accept it. I like how you for your forcing me
You are yeah, I love it. I love it when you I was just talking about having possibly having aspergers
And you you're you're saying that that's me trying to accept that all I know is dude
It's like I just go to towns and people want to know how you are that's because I'm your girlfriend
And we have a podcast and they love this. It's a small niche of people. I accept that
I think that we have a great Tigerbelly family
I think we have a very loyal and dedicated fan base and I love Bill Clinton's girlfriend is now running for president
Bill Clinton's girlfriend. Yeah, he was what she was once his girlfriend. Which one Bill Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Somebody else Monica Lewinsky
Because at one point they were before they were before they were married. They were boyfriend and girlfriend
Yeah, right. So what I'm saying at that stage
Oh, they even know right that she was gonna be running for president. How you were like is Paula Jones or
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you your celebrity. Are you ever gonna like, you know, put a ring on it?
Well, I mean
Are you gonna ever have my baby?
No, I want to ask about the three years though. Oh, there we go. That's I love your segway
No, no, no, we didn't just kill another baby
Why are you laughing? I'm not laughing. No guys
The truth is we had a scare and I had a very very very late period and I sincerely thought I was pregnant for a second
Yeah, and she was
We talked about it and
We aborted another baby
That's not nice of you to say I didn't say anything people aren't gonna attack you. They're gonna attack me
I look I have I have I don't I'm not a shamed of my previous abortions
I'm this is my body. I get to do whatever I want like I will say it out loud all day every day. Yeah, but
No, we didn't just have a third abortion. So take that back second one. Yeah, that was years ago
I just had a pregnancy scare comedy and also I got a little fat. So we thought for real that I was pregnant
And then George was like you have to keep it. It's a great storyline for tiger belly. That's what happened
I had and I was having growing a real tiger belly. It was a quiff
It was like this air pocket and here's what I want to bring up, okay?
And I'm just gonna be real with you. I sincerely think you have a leaky dick
I think that as you're getting older you can't hold you have a lot more and more pre-com and I think that good
I know it's not pulling out. It's not bulletproof anymore
I think when a guy ages his ability to actually keep it all in
Weakens and I think Rita. I mean a leaky dick. Yeah, I think you have a leaky dick. Not a sensei yet, okay?
I'm not a sensei yet. Teaching karate kid over here. You know what you're saying to me right now is this
I know this for a fact because when I'm blowing you. Yeah, you have more pre-com than you do actual finishes
I know because I don't like to do it all at one time. So you're blowing in me like every no
I just I just I just come from beginning to end
A little drip method. Yeah, it's old school. Yeah, it's like coffee. Yeah. Yeah, it's a cold brew
It's a cold brew. Bobby likes a cold brew is calm. Yeah, little drops at a time, you know
Because let me say this right now, okay when you do it at one chunk, right? You're talking about millions of seamen
Racing it's a marathon, right? But mine is like the Olympics
You know, I have just little competitions. Yeah, so like 20,000 you can start running
That's it. You know me somebody won the gold there. They didn't make it to the finish
Yeah, and then you know, that's how I do it like the Olympics. I like that a fair chance
Everyone a good chance because you have to imagine that when you do one load, how much how much sperm is that?
I don't like it. Look, hey, I have a very very Mexican uterus
My body is a wonderland very fertile. I want you want me to wear a condom
I'm saying it's we should probably think about it. No
Because your shit's not reliable. You know that method is not bulletproof. It's fine. Well, you're sperm strong
We know that very very strong in fact, I'm gonna say this and I'm not gonna bring this up
I'm gonna bring it up. I was in science class once
junior in junior college, okay, and um, and I I took some of my sperm and I looked at it and
And um, they were all wearing capes. Okay, Bobby. What?
They were in little capes with asses on it and
Strong asperger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just an evolved creature and everyone knows that
Okay
But speaking of Superman
Because we were talking about auditions
One time I was reading for Wendy O'Brien. She's a great casting big time. Yeah, and um
for the same part
I was seeing that with Brandon Ruth. You were not reading for Superman. No, that's
Is Brandon Rock went for Superman
Imagine if he actually auditioned for Superman
Whoa
Hey, that's a strong laugh we got over there. That's a strong she's crying
If you
Thinking you're gonna be the next Superman. Yeah. Oh my god, sweetie
Oh
I know you have big dreams
That right there, man
She crossed the line there. It's three years. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That would be fucking ridiculous
What would people's faces in the room look like I think that I think that um
People would watch it just for a curiosity reason. Oh 100 and I think that um
You know, I've always wanted to do a movie where
Like Rambo first blood. Yeah, but like take the original movie take him out of it
surface alone and just put me in there
Still seriously now
Seen for seeing everything, but you just literally have me in there
I changed the lines every once well every once well
You'll have people in the backdrop like my friends christa lia, you know in the back
I mean you could have cameos cameos in it
But like you keep the movie framed from frame from beginning to end. I think we have the technology to take him out
Put me in and just change it. Oh, you're not even reshooting or refilming. No
You're just removing him like and then putting me in there
But not trying to be fun. Just serious ever. No, I mean you you you're making a comedy, right? Yeah
But I think that like there's a scene when he first rolls into town
And brian denny he is looking through the rearview mirror and he sees
You know, um, so if I slow walk into town, right?
Um, just you walking. Yeah, there could be you know, me take you take him out and me. I'm running to you know
I mean, yeah, do you have a bathroom?
You know, I mean, so you change it. Yeah, diarrhea. He's like, no, you can't do it, right?
Yeah, and then I and then he looks again, and I'm still running back. I mean something like that
George
Change it on it. You'd have to get the license of the movie. You're never gonna get that is such a iconic film
But you know what I want to do is I want to want to do is I want to maybe take one scene
Do it on our own
See if we can even do it and then we can go to whoever. Yeah, pitch it, you know
But I think that'll be fun fun fun
And I can't I can't believe it just said it because I think the people are gonna do it now
No, no, I don't know how to do it to get their rights for Rambo must be so
Any Korean guy do it's funnier. It could be any movie really. Yeah, I mean you could do it with any movie me as harry potter
The bet no the best would be me. It is always wanted to do me in Annie
Dude with the orange afro and me singing on the lines. Yeah, you take miss hannigan out of it
And you put like um, you know, you put in uh, the the um the transie. What's her name the transie cat cat katelyn
Katelyn Jenner as I yeah as miss miss hannigan. What is this? Yeah?
I think it'd be great
I think you're losing it. Why he's ideas. It's why I just throwing out ideas, baby. Yeah, I mean, uh
What I try to do just now is
segue from you laughing
Hysterically at the fact that I could never be superman
Look, and I was hurt by it
And so I tried to survive and I got myself out of it. You did you know, and now
We brought it back up and now you're not superman. I'm not mad at it, but you're Annie. I'm Annie now. Yeah
Yeah, what were you auditioning for though for superman?
It wasn't superman. Fuck face brand raw. Yeah, but he was we were both auditioning for another movie like a romantic comedy
But the same part. Okay. I just want to throw that out because him and I are completely two
Opposite types nice guy, but um, what happened to his career after that?
Has he been in anything just got pilgrim he was getting that. Oh, he was a bit part
Yeah, I mean, do you think that that was detrimental for for him to be in such a big role and then for it not to do
Well first one too ever. Yeah, I know because he was a no-name at that point
He auditioned again. I think for the new one. Oh, he did when Henry Cabell did it and then obviously got it
Oh, Henry Cavill is just amazing. I love him. There's certain guys that get fucked and I don't know what it is
I mean you look at somebody like Ralph Machio
Yeah, huge. He was a huge 80 star
He is an iconic movie Karate Kid
And I I've met him a couple of times super nice guy. Super nice guy
And um, I don't know
What the fuck he needs to do to get back in
And you look at some of the stranger things you said one on a ride or a Matthew Mordino
Like you said earlier and I mean you see guys get another chance, you know, you look at that show with um
What's his name from Cheers Ted Danza, you know, you're like, oh Ted's trying again
You know, I know that Sebastian Monoskako's pilot got picked up. No, they didn't get picked up but they had um
What's that dude's name Tony Danza? Oh Tony Danza isn't that? Oh, he played his dad, you know, so
You know, you see older guys from the 80s, but then Ralph Machio. It's like, what are you been?
Do you think it's a child star?
I have a question for you because can because I always see people who do really really stellar in one movie
And they they they play a very memorable role
And then they do something else and they just are so lackluster like they were only really good for that role
Example and I for example is Jennifer Hudson in dream girls. Was it? Oh, and she doesn't I mean she won an Oscar
spectacular
She was emotional
It was just a perfect role for her and you see her in anything else and it's just not compelling
It's almost awkward to watch her and she was in Sex and the City
I think or like she had a small role there or something else where I was just like wow
This just isn't doesn't feel right Oscar like the thing man. You get out like Hilary swank nothing since oh
But see Hilary swank to me core legit has acting chops stop stop
We watched she was in the core and she was also and you guys know what the core is the earth movie, right?
We're like drills. Yeah, but I love disaster. Yeah, the core is the best one
We well, he makes me watch it. I make her watch it like every three months. I'm going to tell you the premise everybody
It's basically the center of the earth the core
stops rotating the the metal what do you call it the outer it's the core core
That's the core. There's a mantle and there's the core and the core is you know, I mean hot liquid. Yeah, yeah
You know, you know, iron iron you mean spinning that thing stops spinning
And so they create a spaceship to go to the center of the earth to to plant
Bombs to get the core to kick start it kick start it. Yeah, it's so believable
It's it's really just uh, we should replace you with that one. Yeah
It's grounded in reality. So many big actors in that movie Hilary swank Stanley tucci. He's still around delroy lindo
Delroy lindo. Um, oh, what's his name? Uh, um, harvey dent
Oh, uh, fuck. He was just harvey dead. Let's call him harvey. Harvey dent in it
Harvey dent and the main guy. Yeah. Yeah, but um, yeah, that movie is so bad
But so good. I love all of those volcano is a good one. Have you seen that one? Oh, I love volcanoes. Is that what tommie lee jones? Yes
It's a classic
I actually thought that was a really good movie. I love it. It's one of my favorites
I love deep impact the best impact is good. Um, it's like 2012 or what is it 2000 for four
There's a 2002, you know the one where they're chilling huh? No, that's uh, that's a good one too. Tomorrow never die
Every second. Yeah, the james bond movie tomorrow never does
We'll know what what is that fucking movie called? I have to you know what you're talking about, right? Yeah, I own it
He owns every single he has an exception for disaster movie. I I let me say something right now the worst the better for him
Oh, if I could just be in one disaster movie that's your career. That right there. I can just end it
It's like when I saw christian slater do a star trek movie. He had one line
And he just left or you see, um, you know people do cameos in the start
I would love that also
But a disaster movie where i'm running from like a landslide
Or i'm like being engulfed in some sort of volcanic flame
or if i'm like
You know meteors are striking me in the skull
And i'm trying to climb under a car and I start crying I would I would die
To have a role like that. Yeah, I love disaster movies. It's my favorite and there's always one in every disaster movie
They have like prototypes or stereotypes. So there's always like a politician who doesn't agree. Yeah, you know, I mean
There's always I don't believe in global war. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. And the whole movie and then later he like learns
Yeah, yeah, he has a change of heart. Yeah, I love that
Um, I this outbreak is outbreak considered a disaster movie. It's a virus one, right? It's my favorite
I was like all time virus like donald southerland
Oh, by the way, uh harvey dent erin echart erin echart. Yeah, he's the best. Come on. We should have known that
I love his face
Good face and then he made a great movie his best movie i frankenstein
No, I'm not telling you right now. I watch frankenstein in terms of bad movies is pretty good
I love bad movies, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and we saw a movie last week though
That was pretty fucking scary. Pretty good. You guys don't breathe. Don't breathe
it's about
decisions why people make
that
Cost them their lives cost them their lives
And it's like decision-making that you know that only they can make
You can't put african-americans in a movie like that
Just don't look at george's face. Look at his face
Look at his face. Okay guys, if you can see this face
Don't ever look at me like that when I talk about white people because I'll tell you why okay
When when ethnic people they kill people they kill them when you guys do it you make curtains and also eat them
Torture it's a torture. You know what I mean like dammer or ed Dean
Yeah, you made lampshade out of human skin
You guys always take it to the next level
Hitler
That's another level
Look at me right now, dude
So when I say stuff like, you know, why people make decisions
That are a little different
Don't look with your like confused eyes like you're being you're being racist or you know
I'm not
I'm looking at factual things like movies like movies and real life experiences
Hitler
And you know, fuck you. Yeah, so I mean you don't make decisions like that or
No, that's not that's completely different from what I'm saying because that's a religious zealot
right and it's
I'm talking about America in America
And in a free society
Okay, where you have a melting pot a melting pot of all kinds of races
And you white people just do
Weirder edgier things and decision decision-making
What do you mean Japanese went crazy on Korea and the Philippines, baby. Yeah. Yeah, I mean they were the hitlers of Asia
Yeah, but that's we're now talking about
No, no, we're talking about like dictators and people can we go back to the movie?
No, I'm not gonna go back to the movie yet because I'm tired of george's fucking
facial expressions
It's like last week when his guy gary johnson
Didn't know what a lepo was right explain to everybody who gary johnson is gary johnson is a libertarian candidate, right?
That's the third party. There's actually four parties, right? Just found out before. Yeah, there's a green party also
Jill, right?
Yeah, and so gary johnson his boy gets on morning joe on mbc ms mbc
and
One of the commentators or whatever said what are you gonna do about a lepo and his boy goes
What's a lepo?
And the guy goes you got to be fucking kidding me. He didn't say fucking but that's what he meant to say
And he goes no, i'm serious. What is a lepo?
And a lepo is a city in syria where it's the melting pot and joe's car bro
The joe's car bro is like well, it's basically the central hub of the syrian refugee crisis
And this he's telling the guy who's like a presidential candidate this red. That's disqualifying
And george was like, well, what if he was thinking and george completely defended him?
He did try to defend him and um, I don't want him as commander of jive
Because i'm a full-blown
retard
So be quiet everyone in the room. Just shut the fuck up. I am going to own up
To what I am
Okay, I i'm not smart
I'm not healthy. I make really awful life decisions health decisions
I don't even know what i'm alive
I never had any kind of education
I went to six months of junior college and I just kind of just never went really
And i've never really read a book
I know what a lap-o is
And i'm not running for the president of the united states
It's disqualifying and look at me in the eyes and say it to everyone right now. I need you to say it
Gary johnson is he's not going to make a good president. He's disqualified. He's disqualified. Come here for a second
I want you to see it on the screen. Get in there. Yeah
Major no facial expressions fucking say it dude
Gary johnson we're in the war on drugs, which is the biggest problem that we've seen in politics
Recently
80% of the problems with drugs that everybody claims the problems with drugs are the problem with the war on drugs
It's destroyed the inner city. It's destroyed mexico. It's destroyed columbia
And uh, if we had gary johnson's president, we would
Thank you for participating. Thank you. Thank you so much for that. Thank you. Um, that's what i'm talking about
Yeah, exactly. That is ridiculousness right now. Yeah, that's
Another white thing. Yeah, you know, just let's not take it's a point of view that it's almost impossible to defend
But they'll just go out and defend it
Full force, you know, is that a white thing?
No, because what he's actually saying is making sense to me. It's actually resonating with me because it's like
That is a white people thing to do. It's like, you know, you're wrong
But somehow you're still gonna sit there and defend it to your death
Like and colton. Is that a white thing or is that is that just the
Uh, you're fucking confused face right now. So maybe it is
ah, man
Anyway, gary johnson
should know what a lepo is
And i don't know if a truth be told he's better qualified than donald trump
But let me tell you something in this election
it looks more and more
like
He could win donald trump
and it is
fucking
Scary can happen and and I don't want people go. Well, bubby, you know, he's not a politician. He works
Outside of dc. He that's why he his energy will change
government
Yeah, but he's a racist
Okay, he's sexist
He's not somebody that's not defend. He's not my guy
Because dudes the white dudes that I like
What aren't those things they believe that i'm equal to them
They believe that i'm a a human being have a right to be in the united states because i'm an american citizen
and it's like this dude, he's the worst
and
He's gonna be president of the united states
and it is
Scary don't jinx it like when he didn't disinvow the david duke and the kkk remember that
That's insane
But it panders to a certain group of people I understand that I know what he's doing
But so when people go bub, you don't understand trump
It's like yeah, but when a guy doesn't disinvow the kkk
I can no longer support him because i'm on the kkk's list hit list. Yeah
I don't think they they dislike asians. Do they
I've I heard a kkk guy say once that we're like fifth on the lineup. That's not bad. Which is cool
That's not bad actually. Yeah, which is really not not bad. It gives us some time. You have so much time
Yeah, I mean they'll probably they probably won't kill us
They'll probably put us in like a lab
But then they when they find out that I don't know how to do any of that
and then i'm dead
Like if there was a white takeover like there was a new hitler like let's say donald trump, you know creates a new
A new neo nazi white society and they're gathering african americans mexicans and asians
Who first of all who do you think would be dead first?
Well history so with donald trump. Do you think jews?
No way jews. What are you talking about?
There's an ass on the list to die
History
No, well donald trump will end mexicans for sure. Okay, mexicans. It's a race between the mexicans and anybody who's come from like any type of
Arab
Oh, that's right. That yeah, so we would be probably fifth
Fifth fourth, maybe yeah, you'll be mexicans arabs
african americans
asians
and then and then
That's it. That's all there is
right
Because when I say mexicans, I mean
South america south america. He says mexicans. He meets all of south america
So, argentina, colombia, brazilians, you're all mexicans including spain
And also anyone listening to what I just said there. Don't write me a tweet like you're wrong
We have our own cultures. It's like when people come up to me and go. Hey, you're chinese, right? Yeah, whatever. Let's move on
What you don't even defend yourself. No, because it's like that's an ignorance. I don't give a fuck
Hey, you're chinese. I like chinese. Fuck off the fuck yourself. I'm gonna go. I got shit to do. Yeah
You know, I don't want to even deal with that. You know, I don't
I don't you know, what are you? I don't know
I don't know. I don't give a fuck what you're saying
What do you what do you think about speaking of americans?
and white people
From oklahoma. Yeah, whatever. What do you think about the mom who divorced her son to marry her daughter?
You say that again?
The mom married her son
Divorced him and then married the daughter
Okay, and what planet is this from? Oklahoma planet. There's no way
The mom divorced. She was fucking her own son and married to her own son. Right. She married him
And then I think 10 months after their marriage. She like filed for divorce. Yeah, and then now she's dating her. She's um married her daughter who is um
Who's a lesbian?
Yeah, okay that that right there and that's let me let me guess and I'm just throwing it out there
I'm not it's not has nothing to do with race or ethnicity
But what was it? Was it a white person? Yes. That's what I said
George look at me see George. There's the full evidence. There's the full evidence
What do you guys think about marrying first cousins?
Is that like acceptable because I know it's very acceptable in china and like they don't want to keep the wealth and the family
So I know that some cultures. It's completely. I mean jamey anas hearsay
I think tapping it maybe once at a party is okay tapping wait. You tell me just fucking your cousin wants to be drunk
You know, I mean you just put him in a closet
Pull one leg up right there in a closet while the family's in the living room and you just
You know, I mean you stick your dick in
Like a rabbit right and then you do that and then you grab their neck and you go
To my aunt or your mom, I mean yeah, and then you leave smile. See you christmas. See you christmas. Thank you. Thank you so much
My experience so that that's good. That's cool. And that's okay. Which you what you do George?
We got to stop accusing of off. That's what you do George. Can accuse george of incidences
Okay, you incest motherfucker to defend you george. I mean you are the white man. I mean you didn't blow your own cousin so
It took me a while to get that I was like, what? You know what bitch?
Really provoking me today, but it's fine. Let's go back to um the movie though. Um, oh, yeah, finally
God, what a segue was that?
Crazy segue. Yeah, so anyway, it's uh, don't give any spoilers. I'm not even a spoiler should watch it. Should watch it. Yeah
It's actually a cute little movie. It's not very cute. It's actually very scary
It's scary, but in cute in the way that like, oh my god, this is such a simple kind of a premise
But it's super fun to watch and it's well executed in that way cute. Oh 10 million only wow
10 million to make. Yeah. Oh wow. That's amazing. Great job. That's amazing. Yeah, because everything is set in one house
Yeah, in the middle of you know, Detroit
Well, you know, it's supposed to be in Detroit. Where do you guys rank it for this year's scary films?
I think that it's not it's not uh, it's it's a I don't even know what to categorize it thriller because it's more of a
Thriller, yeah, it is a thriller because for me what I find it's it's like a it jolts you right because the scenes are
Thrilling and suspenseful
But what what scares me to my core are never movies that involve real humans
It's always like like spiritual like possessions or you know the exorcist ghosts and things like that that really shake me
Yeah, same inside like other. I mean the movie don't breathe is more like it's just jolting
It's like you scream because you know, it's suspenseful. So it's like a saw there's no yeah
It's a really good tight. It's a slasher movie. There won't be a movie called a simple plan. You ever see that movie?
Yes. Oh my god. I love that movie. It's a very good movie a simple plan. It's like it's a a premise
That's you know basic and but it's just executed in a well way the dialogue's good
But there's a kid in that movie. That's a star. I don't know his name, but the young kid in the young kid. Yeah
Yeah, I was yeah, I forget who
He was very though and I don't want to give away anything away, but can I just get it into the premise a little bit or not?
Well, it's just basically this I'm not gonna. Yeah, I'm not gonna get I'm not giving away anything
You know, it's not gonna be like a sixth sense that Bruce Willis is really dead kind of a thing
And if you haven't seen it, you haven't seen the sixth sense you should do you should have watched it by now, but um
He uh, it's about three kids
from Michigan
They happen to be white
And they decide to rob
a blind man
And that's pretty much the the premise don't do that
And what's great about the movie is that you don't feel you feel bad
You don't feel that bad about these kids because they put themselves in this situation
Oh, so you're rooting for the guy. No, you're not you're in the beginning. I was I was rooting for for the guy
Yeah, but then it's like they deserve it. They shouldn't have entered your home
But that's what makes it fun. And that's why the extreme things the blind he's blind to
the man the blind man does
Is uh, what do you mean seems to kind of what I mean if I robbed a blind man's house
I'm walking out with whatever I robbed because it's blind man number one. Yeah, he's also the fucking sergeant sergeant from avatar
Like he's a he's the buffest 70 year old blind man. You'll never see a military blind man. Oh, shit
So he's in the military, right and also
um, he has he lives by himself
And he has a lot of issues
And mainly his issue is that his daughter was murdered. That's all that's all I need to know. Yeah, the daughter
Yeah, so he's a heartbroken man crazy guy who's living by himself
He sleeps with his daughter's tape like a videotape on like a loop in the room
And his eyes are just completely white fried and white
He's broken. He's broken. He feels broken. Yeah, he has an emotional moment. I know but the way they did it was pretty good, man
Pretty good. Yeah, those kids. Those kids are really talented. What's his name? Fede Alvarez the guy who directed it
Anyways, um, another movie that I really want to see is train to Busan
I heard it was what's better than that one is train to pussy
Hey, what's up? I saw that movie dog. Yeah. Is that Urban Bobby? Hey, yeah, Urban Bobby in the house dog
I saw last train to pussy. God damn. I was in the caboose dog
You said caboose. Yeah, that's what I said. You're officially whiter than George Kimmel. Wow
But last train to Busan is a um Korean a Korean uh zombie movie
Mm-hmm, which you know, it's so funny. You can take an a premise like
Zombies that's been just it's so hacky saturated and saturated
But you put them in Korea. It's originally again
In a weird way it is because you've never really seen it. Oh my god. So zombies zombies what we should do now is zombies in Uganda
That would be good like in the or like in the conga. We're in the thick of the jungle, you know
The reason why you can't have it in africa, right? Is is that
You know as a viewer as an american viewer you you want to see resemblances of your own society
Like people just listen right the western west in a western world, you know
We have trains cars cities or you know things that we can relate to when you put it in
In because in the Congo you have blood diamond, you know guys that do well with rebellion groups
That you know go in and they they cause cause genocide
So they already do insanely crazy things that are actually what zombies do
You know, I'm not I'm not saying they live like zombies now
What I'm saying what I'm saying is is that's not what I'm saying is is that I just don't think
It would be as effective. You're calling you gondons like real life zombies
Is what you know, but when darfur happened and they were slaughtering
Millions of people
kids
women
You know with machetes and the world didn't do anything about it. That's why I don't think it would work
And it's sad to say something like that, but I'm not being racist
I don't think you are I'm saying that there's we need to go over there
You don't think you don't think that we would feel empathetic to a zombie apocalypse in Uganda
You don't think as americans that we would really care all that much because you we already think that there's a lot of trouble there
I mean if you had a white family going on a safari
Then you and then the safari. Yeah that then you would be like that's what americans would care about
I honestly think that that's the way you do it. I don't think that you can't have a villager
Maybe maybe I'm wrong. I don't know you're not I could be wrong. I think you're wrong
All right. Well, I'm just is that what I just said racist. Am I gonna get sued or whatever?
No, because that one lady there's actually a video game. I think I don't feel it was Dead Island
It's a zombie. Yeah, I know I played it. There was one where dead island a bunch of africans
I don't know if they changed it was scary
They said they had to change it to put in more white people because it was just a white character just slaughtering black zombies
I know really, but still that was really scary dead island. Yeah. Yeah, you know what you're right
It would work but with that but I'm telling you that the premise I just said was that a premise it's
It's in a resort, you know island off of an I think Africa, right?
So it's what european tourists and then the villagers and everyone becomes zombies
Then obviously it's scary because you can relate to the people that are the victims or whatever, right?
but when you make it
just
A villager who's trying to survive other zombie villagers. I don't know if that's going to be as effective
Basically have americans be the victims
You know, I tease about that movie. Um, I do a stand-up joke about that movie 21 about the mit
Students missing that whitewash. Yeah, and um, they you know, if you don't know they wrote a book called bringing down the house
It's about mit students. They go to vegas and they figure out how to rig
Blackjack and count cards or whatnot and they took a lot of money from vegas and um
But with mit students that actually didn't realize for asian dudes mostly
And then when they cast the movie they cast mostly white guys, right? They cast two
Asians, but you know as just out of guilt. I think I believe guilt casting and the when one of the producers
Who was asked about it kevin spacey?
Who produced it was in it too. He was like, yeah, I want to make money
You know, that's why I did it that way
Hollywood if I did all Asians, I wouldn't make as much money and he might have a point there
I don't know what that story you could I don't I mean now you could but that could now you can see
Okay, we'll put randall ken steevens. Yeah, constants. Yeah, steven. You're right. I mean, there's a bunch of guys
Yeah, but when they made that movie back then there wasn't
You could put john chow in it, you know, yeah, but you back then no you couldn't so I think they could make the movie now
Which they should have waited, you know, it's like when you make a movie you go. Listen, it's about you know
Yeah, but you're all old now
Steven Yoon's not
And I just did that one independent movie with the and the there's a kid that played my son. He was very good
Yeah, and he was asian and in cute. Yeah, there are kids
Gilbert
Shout out to jesson john who listens. Hey, you had to stop giving me hickeys
What do you want but lakes are hickeys pick when I give you a piggy?
Um, there is a kid in mexico that died from a hickey. Okay. Why don't we that he's not even the first one that's happened
apparently like
It it caused like a clot and then it eventually traveled to his brain like it caused a localized clot that made it into his
Like blood vessel a different cnn than we do. I think I do
I mean
Why do you have to search?
Because look it wouldn't be pertinent this information wouldn't be pertinent or like
Important to my life except that you're you are a hickey giver. I know you're very nice. This is kalayla
About your love. That's why I don't like piranhas because um last week in columbia a piranha ate
You know a baby's butthole
You're like
I would like to know if a piranha has recently eaten a baby's butthole
Oh, yeah, that's important to me. Have you always given hickeys to women? Is that like you don't like just regular kisses
Like to suck this fucking guy right here. You fucking no
I want to say this because I've I've been I've been giving a lot of hickeys
Congratulations
Wow, you're a man now
You know what dude? You're on the borderline of being very suspect. You know what? I never said it was a man or a woman
There you go
I've been very mean to you lately. Not really actually. No, I don't give you hugs anymore. Oh, when I came in
Yeah, well, you've stopped calling him gay. So that's a plus. That's a plus. I'm moving the right direction. Yeah
No, I like it though, man. You're good. Thanks, man. And also when we're playing, um
Destiny destiny the other night that kid albert. What's his name?
Arthur oh Arthur. I love him. Listener. He's a listener. We have a listener a little tiny listen listener named Arthur
Filipino. I don't know what he is
I don't know what he is, but um, I've met his mom. He doesn't look human. He looks like
Just like if you open up Japanese candy and he just looks like that fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the best way to describe it
He's Japanese candy. He's Japanese candy. Very cute. He's cute. He came to Korea. I mean la and we took him to dinner
Yeah, and he's monitored during our twitch and um, he's just super
Cute and um, I made a new friend era coke. Um, wow. He's an MMA fighter. Very good looking. He just had operation on his
I don't know what happened, but um
And he he's an actual UFC fighter. He's very good. He's right. Yeah, top. He's top 15. He's lightweight and
Poirier. Oh, yeah, Dustin Poirier. He's at uh, Duproofus with CM Punk. But I don't care about any of that. He does strain with CM Punk.
Yeah, I don't care any about that. All I know is is that during raid or crucible. He's fucking good
Have you told everybody about your new portable xbox? Oh, I saw a picture. You've seen it
Have you been able to use it yet on the road? Wow. It's called a vanguard black edition
And I've never seen anybody so happy to open up a package in his life
This thing is spiffy. It's it comes in. It looks like a small little um, um
It's like you carry on suitcase. No, it's like there's tools or something that should be and it's hard cased
And you you open it up. There's a screen inside it
And your xbox slides in there and the sound is amazing
The fucking graphics are amazing and you could just take it anywhere
And um, you can play so
Um, that's what were your thoughts when you saw it? Um extreme, um sadness. Oh, why sorrow? Um
Actually, no, I'm okay with it because I mean he's he's gonna use it when he's on the road
Yeah, and he's already um, I'm fine with that. He can scream all he wants in his in the privacy of this hotel room
In a different city. I'm okay with it. But what he does is this is what I don't understand actually
First I thought that I was okay with it and then he has this new thing where he'll sit next to me while
I'm trying to sleep in bed and he thinks he's killing two birds with one stone because he's screaming on the xbox
But then he's like, do you like that? I'm next to you sweetie. I like that
So he thinks he's spending time with me and at the same time playing xbox and I don't like the screaming
That's what I don't like. I don't care that he plays. They're gonna wait. We're gonna do a raid tonight, babe
Oh fantastic. I won't be around for that when I'm not I promise I won't scream
No, no, I promise you I won't scream maybe for not scream during a raid. No tonight. I'm not gonna scream
Bullshit, you know, I won't I promise you. I won't how about this every time I scream. I'll give you a hundred dollars
I don't want your money. Oh wow every time I scream. I'll give you a 30 minute
Every time he screams he gives me a hundred dollars
Yeah, you okay man. Yeah, I'm good dude. Oh, did you guys see the the roast recently?
Which one the rob low? I first of all, I don't understand
So if you do a roast, does that mean your career is on the downhill because I feel like he's on no rise
No, no, no people just asked to be roasted. Okay. So you saw the Ann Coulter stuff, right? Oh, I saw all of the Ann Coulter stuff
Why the fuck would you not use the riders they give you and why would you you know what?
She has a lot of comic friends, believe it or not. He knows some of them
Yeah, like friend friends. He I know a lot of republics. I know a dude. Yeah, I know a dude
I can't name his name. Okay that
Number one, he's gay. Okay. Number two, he's republican
And number three, he's one of the funniest dudes in the fucking business
Super talented like a list in my opinion and he's best friends with her. Yeah, she's cuckoo
She's not you know, she's somebody that wants to make money. She takes an extreme point of view
And she you know, she riles up a certain base or regards and then she sells her books to them
Yep, it's just like that girl like tell me Lauren
Yeah, she's not she's not a real journalist. She just basically gets on tv
She's a cute blonde and she gives a very very right point of view. You know, she's the girl who goes against like Colin Kaepernick and
You know, it's it's a very specific type like they're not real pundits. They're not real
Um, I would never go to them, you know as a new source
I would never go to them to really know what's happening and either the republican or democratic side
They're super biased and they're really just in on it for themselves and they're you know
They're selling the image of themselves whether we find it villainous or if we agree with them
It's they're selling an image of themselves with Ann Coulter
She's pretty much stuck to her guns as being Ann Coulter for a very long time for that. I can respect her
She's a money-making machine
You know, like when I was on mad tv, um one day they had Bill O'Reilly do a guest spot
And I just refused to show up. Like I said, I take me out. I had a line and I said take me out of it
I can't do it. I hate it
But then over the years you realize that you know what it's they're all trying they just
They're all trying to make money make money and have a point of view and their business. Yeah, it's a business and so
But what's crazy? I never thought I'd ever say this but bill Riley has not been
He's changing. Yeah, he's kind of I don't know if he's changing
Or is that we're
No, or maybe I'm seeing
A completely super right side that's making him seem more moderate to me these days against trump, correct?
Yes, he's very much against trump. No, he's no, I think he's softening as he gets older
I think as a younger he had these gigantic like, you know, he was like a an angry
dog
And just barking, you know, I just feel like he's softened
I hate Sean Hannity. I'll never like him. I just don't like his face
You like Joe Scarborough, right?
Yeah, sometimes you can't love a Republican. He's a kind of republican that I I have friends that are republicans
And they they wear sweaters
Sometimes in the summers
They always tuck their shirt in right they
They say stuff like rock and roll, buddy
Yeah, and then you have to go. What did you just say, dude?
Rock and roll. I said, I don't know what that means, but um, so you have friends that you can
You can hang out with that have
They're republicans different views. I'm extremely liberal
And you're not somebody made a very very good crucial point
In a in a direct message to me. It might have been a direct message to me
And somebody said that you're actually you act like a republican the sheer fact that you wouldn't share your leftover potatoes
With Steve renazizzi is very republican. You you paid for it. You only take care of yourself
You're not somebody who's uh, you know, utilitarian. You don't care for the masses or care for yourself
Somebody emailed this to me and I agreed with him. It makes no sense. It does make sense. No, because uh republicans believe in
trickle down economics, right? So you give the wealthiest tax breaks
Okay, and then they make an assumption that it's going to come down to everyone underneath
But what happens is the people at the top they hoard the money
They want to keep the money for themselves. So it doesn't trickle down. Well, you hoard your potatoes and you don't know your potatoes
What I'm doing is I'm I'm feeding everyone
The country, you know, I mean as much food as they want
Right, but when you're done, I keep it
To throw it away to give it to other people. I don't know if they throw it away. You should have your own party system then
Yeah, yeah, you are your own political party because you are so confused. I'm not confused
You know, it's you know, this whole thing and couldn't just say this too and I want to thank steve renazizzi for even doing last week
That's an amazing thing. The timing though. The timing was crazy
I realized that a couple days ago when 9 11 was it yesterday 9 11 was yesterday yesterday. Um, and there was a part that went
God steve, why'd you lie about that?
Because we were watching semen and all day
When you see people like on fire running down the stairs, you're just kind of like, uh
It's haunting. It's heartbreaking and bobby and I were like, god damn it. I love steve. I love steve and I'll defend him
You know, is that bad thing? What to defend him? To defend his friends. He didn't kill anybody
And I know you didn't kill anybody. It's just let me say something. I
Love who I love and I love him. Mm-hmm. And he's done some
Things like he didn't save me quick enough when ori was beating me up
But at the end of the day, I look at him and I know
That his heart
Is good. Do you feel that same way about charlie? Yes
Do you think his heart is good? Yeah, I do. Okay. Okay
And um, it's a good poster. Yeah
I'm not talking. I'm not talking about charlie today. And I can't even believe that you brought his name up
I look that's your best friend. Charlie sheen, man. Charlie. Charlie. Sheen is a great guy. It turns out. Hiv actor
Very small niche. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dillison. I don't want to talk about charlie right now.
You want the question? Yeah, get the question. Get the question going. Guys, send more questions
We only have one this week. Unhelpful advice with bobo and kaloko
Oh, hey, bobby kalila. Gilbert. I'm 19 years old. I first would like to express my thanks and appreciation for the podcast
Uh, I have 32 days of sobriety as of today the longest since I was 15
However, it is still difficult road and I find that I still have the same thoughts that made me start using in the first place
extreme self-doubt
depression
anxiety day to day
And I'm just a fuck up in no confidence in myself really to pursue anything in fear of judgment from others which cause extreme social
anxiety any advice on perhaps writing myself on the uh, reading myself these character flaws or at least dealing with them better
I mean, I mean his name is alex. My only answer to him is
Get into a 12 step program and immerse yourself in the steps
the the 12 steps
Was designed to deal with all those things that he just said
Insecurity is character defects fears
You know, it's it's wiping your side of the street clean
So you make amends to all the people that you've harmed due to your disease
and you constantly
Even when you make mistakes in the moment you you apologize and that's all that stuff is
In the steps, that's all the only thing that I know. Yeah, you know, I don't know anything else
That's the world that I I come from. I've
I've been in a since I've been
16 17 in and out but still I have 14 now and I
I
strongly believe in that program and
That's it
Without my stomach. Yeah, that's my stomach. Sorry
I can't speak for for anybody who is dealing with
Yeah, I've I don't I can't speak like bobby does because I don't
know what it feels like to
Be addicted to something like that, but I can't speak on
Being 19 and depressed and unsure and anxious and feeling like a total fuck up
I can definitely speak on that and I I think that
I think that it's not unusual to feel that way
In in your teens and even well into your 20s
I think that you should show a little bit of self compassion
And grant yourself, you know a moment, you know to have a bad day or to have a bad week or to feel unsure about yourself
I don't think that you should allow those things to
threaten your
How do I say like
they shouldn't
Accept that it's okay to feel that way
And for me when I was 19 and unsure and I swear to you guys like I kept thinking
I wanted to end my life at that age and I kept getting locked up because I kept attempting to kill myself
Because I thought that you know, it just wasn't going to get better
But I was just so consumed and I didn't have you know, my my father had just died
there was a lot of things going on that I
I um
What I really needed at that time was a good like support system
And eventually, you know, my mom and my sister really like
Took care of me and it really really helped me kind of like get out of that
You know pocket of depression
But I think having a support system and knowing who to reach out to is really really important
Because um, sometimes you're not strong enough to pull yourself out
You know and talking about it emailing a podcast. I mean, that's a step in the right direction. I think
You know
Well, I cried together yesterday about oh gosh, you had a documentary on CNN about the you know, the two
I think they're friends brothers. Yeah brothers. They're doing a documentary during 9 11
So they they have the only inside footage of the buildings and stuff and right so they thought they were separated
Mm-hmm during it and then they each thought that they had died
And at the end, you know, they they show them at the train station
Not train station at the fire at the fire station
They see each other and there's this moment where
They just hug and they're both crying and they're both crying and it it made us cry because
Kalala and I have siblings and we're so close to our siblings that that's what like if any if they're siblings
Anything happening with siblings on tv or movies?
Kalala and I will cry because I I
love
My brother
I I'd give my life
For my brother. I really would you know, and you know, I
That's what made him and I really feel connected was when I saw the way he loved his brother
It made me really trust him like who he was as a person like early on in our relationship the moment he said
I love my brother so much. I understood it and I was like, you know what?
I could live with somebody like this because I just get that type of like sibling love and the one
I cried even more if you guys haven't seen the video look it up on on youtube when
Bernie Sanders brother. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, the speech the speech gives a speech
DNC at the the DNC. Yeah the DNC
And he calls him Bernard my brother Bernard and I I mean
Yeah, I was just broken that that whole video just ate me up inside. I love you Gebra
Bobby's crying
When I talk to friend people that go yeah, yeah, I would talk with my brother in two years
I literally go. Oh that we can't be friends
That's weird. What if their brother is a piece of shit though? Yeah, but still growing up. It's like you
You know when you're growing up, okay, I understand if the age gap is a decade
Right some guys 20
And some kids 10 I get it
But if there's a two three year gap there, you're living and you grew up in the same house
Okay, if your parents were separated and one guy lived in Baltimore the other guy lived in Cleveland
That's one thing but if you're living in the same house
And you're this similar age
You if you're not close. I don't know who the fuck you are
But there are different family circumstances. I feel you know, because like I know dudes friends of mine that go um
Like I don't have to throwing them under the bus, but Nick Yusef who was one of my openers
He loves his parents. He loves his brother, but they've never said it to each other
That's weird for me too
But I don't think that's weird. I think that people express love in more ways than just saying it to one another
I don't think that you have to necessarily say it. You can do love
You can act love
Words are just words. I'll have a lot of people say they love me and treat me like shit
So and I have a lot of people who say I love you. It's such a loose term
You know, but I don't what did your parents say I love you do you?
Absolutely, they did and it felt good every time. I know me too. Oh, well, yeah
Yeah, if if my dad wasn't drunk
And if he was he'd express it in different ways with the golf clubs to my thighs. Oh, it's true love right there. Yeah, and um
punches punches to the face
and my father
My mom also hit me a lot too like hard like fists
I have a question for you bobby. Anyway, um
You're you're uh speaking of of tough love. Yeah
Um, what do you think about all the news you're hearing about the Philippine president Duterte?
a lot
I don't I
You really want me to get into it now? Oh, are you gonna do a what's a lepo?
Right now. Are you do you not know anything about what I know? I know I know that he
disgraced
Our president beautiful president. Let me say something to all the foreign countries out there china. I don't go fuck, bro
I'll give them. I don't give them
So
When the american president any president, I'm telling you right now, dude, if I don't know who the australian president is
I don't know who that is. Do you know who it is?
But do they even have one? It's for sure. They do right if I'm at a starbucks
Okay, and I'm waiting in line and I see like three or four security guards with this man
And I turn around and I go
Hey, who are you? It's like I'm the president of australia. I would shake his hand and I would maybe do a little bow and give him respect
All right, that's what you do for leaders
I wouldn't do it with Assad from syria. He's a piece of shit. Yeah. He's a murderer
Okay, but barack barack, you know, he's
the president of the free world
the leader
And he comes to your fucking island and you diss him in that way. It's fucking disrespectful
That's not how it went. What do you call what did he call him uh putangina?
What did he call him?
Well, the literal translation is the son of a whore. Okay, so stop stop stop stop stop stop but can I also say
No, no, no, no, no, stop stop stop stop. You have to allow me to say my point after that. Okay, I will let you
I will let you okay
But from where I come from
Just a small little town from powwee
You know, that nothing much happens there
When you call somebody a son of a whore I'm just saying in my little small town, right?
things happen like fistfights and police are involved that shit is
disrespectful okay and he's not the son of a whore he's son of a woman who was a
single mother who raised the president of the motherfucking United States and
let me tell you that our day whatever your fucking name is bro I don't say that
please we need to be able to go to the Philippines okay there's you know in
the modern society we have a judicial system we have a court system we have
laws and we have you know a government all right where you come from you just
there's no trial you just kill people your family you know do process that's
fucking insane and that's primitive and that's fine you do what you do that's
fine but don't call my fucking president the son of a whore okay can I go to my
side my you are well no pick up the mic again you are basically the perfect
example of what is most annoying me right now in America or at least with
Filipino Americans or Americans who who swear that they know what goes on
overseas and who swear they know about the extra judicial killings who swear
they know about the state of a third world country they've never stepped foot
in they read a few headlines and all of a sudden they want to sensationalize the
fact that this guy is a rotten piece of shit because number one he you know
stepped up to the to to the American president look I get it I don't agree with
the fact that he should I think that he should soften his speech I think that he
has a bad habit of letting his emotions get to him I think that he should take
a class in at least some type of like verbal diplomacy because at the end of
the day he's president and he's a diplomat he should know how to talk to
other world leaders however everybody who's fucking picketing and go up in
arms and crying about the fact that all these horrible things are happening in
the Philippines have not ever been aware of the fact that the Philippines has
gone through 30 years if not longer of graft and corruption under oligarch
families for however long with more killings with with just countless
amounts of fucking incidents of corruption like we it's it's it's so
crazy to me how Americans have so much to say about a country they've never
stepped foot in you don't know what it's like to grow up there you don't know the
drug war that's going on there shut your fucking mouth unless you live there
unless you're a voting citizen unless you know what it actually feels like to
be in the mix of a drug war in a country that has been unsuccessfully been a part
of like the richer part of Asia you know we we've been given independence since
the 70s by the Americans and what have we done with it fucking nothing we're the
poorest fucking country ever right so here's finally a guy who doesn't come
from an oligarch family who's finally saying you know what I'm not beholden
to anybody but the Filipino people and I'm gonna clean shit up because this is
the only way I know how to do it because every other policy existing before me
hasn't fucking worked and I'm gonna try something new he could fail I'm not
saying it's gonna be successful he could fail but what I'm saying is it this is a
guy who's actually trying to impart some type of real change in a nation that has
desperately needed it for 30 fucking years and here we are sitting in our
first-world country all of a sudden being so upset that a guy that we don't even
we don't know his policy you don't know anything about him just you just read
fucking headlines on Buzzfeed and you think I'm gonna pick it because this is
again don't call Barack's mama yes my drop Kalilah I give you a mic look I'm
saying you're right you're right the guy needs work in his diplomacy and he
could he could fail like he could this this whole I he his policy could fail he
could be he could go down as possibly the most the worst president or the best
or the best but you know what I'm willing to take that chance with this guy
because I actually think he's the first person I'm so I first of all very good
baby that was an amazing that was amazing and that I know that that's that's
how you feel really it's really moving but now you put yourself in a fucking
corner why because if he goes on a fucking slaughter in three months from
now he killed you know three schools of babies wait what like at this guy the
dark day what you remember a while ago a few podcast episodes ago I talked
about a cousin of mine who is very heavily in the drug mix in the Philippines
right and I was expressing frustration and he was working for a guy named Jaguar
but he's one of the bigger drug lords right and when Duterte came into power
before he came into he became the president he said hey I promise that
I'm gonna clean this drug mess in six months yeah with the first week that he
became president guess who died Jaguar Jaguar fucking died he's dead and now
my cousin has you know it's it's like and also Jaguar never got that's his name
right yeah never got to hit a bottom realize that he's he's going through a
wrong path and to change his ways which happens all the time when I'm in 12
stop groups I know dudes that were leaders of gangs yeah that were terrible
people that were addicted to crack then they had a spiritual awakening they
went to a treatment center and now they they run a boys home okay I I know you're
going for Jaguar right Jaguar Jaguar is just dead look here's what it is
everybody thinks listen sit down Bobby
here's what it is everybody there's this misconception that Duterte is
basically telling vigilantes to go out there and kill who they think are
suspected drug runners right I can't say Duterte again I we got to change his
name well let's call him mr. Magoo we call mr. Magoo because that's all I know
so just say mr. Magoo from now on right it's a misconception it's basically the
media sensationalizing everything that he does who who's he mr. Magoo I think
is still I think that you know he's telling he's probably he's finally
getting the police to do their jobs jobs that they were afraid to do
previously because there's so much kill Jaguar without a trial look that's not
what happened what happened to realize how many people have died at the hands
of Jaguar innocent family members people it's it's like okay kill okay here's a
guy who's a crackhead and all these innocent people that have lost their
lives in the name of this guy existing kill the mother okay so what you're
saying to me right now let me stop stop what you're saying to me right now is
Jaguar okay who's a drug dealer yeah okay big drug runner big runner would
just walk into a random family's house and shoot a baby in the face no okay
what you're saying to me then is this is that somebody owed Jaguar money for some
sort of drug and then he assassinated them look he is a drug runner if my
cousin didn't do his job well my cousin would be dead right do your job well
that's but beyond that a lot of people have lost other family members to drugs
because I understand but you have to understand the reasons behind why people
make decisions about doing drugs you can take two twins one of them is an
alcoholic the other one is not and one of them becomes like a lawyer never did
drugs drink and the other one is a fucking bomb I mean it's like it's a
disease right so you can you know even if you get rid of drugs and crack and all
that stuff you're always gonna have an alcohol you take alcohol away like they
did in the prohibition they're gonna create their own my point is is that
inevitably I believe that every drug including alcohol is the same fucking
thing look Bobby you're not understanding what I'm saying had fun
drop mr. Magoo gave people a chance Bobby back you got Bobby back you with
mr. Magoo gave people a chance he said look if you are in the drug game I am
giving you a window to come forward get clean let's work on this together he
didn't just start killing people I have a question police didn't just start
arresting and shooting people you know if anything they actually started
killing themselves corrupt policemen started I'm done they didn't want to be
outed I was done he was supposed to go no that's not what I want to say I have a
question am I ever gonna make it in this business I just feel like anything's
all anyway thanks for listening to Tiger Belly I'm gonna be in Brea improv this
week doing five shows please come cuz that it's really light I do I can make
a call today it's really light so please call I mean please come reverse
psychology and then I'm doing oddball tour in Texas the next weekend I don't
know how that's gonna be but and then the weekend after that he's going to be at
levity live in California a brand new club and next week oh next month you're
gonna be at punchline in San Francisco and San Diego soon and yeah but for more
dates go to Bobby live calm yeah I said that we learned a lot today I don't think
we did I think we've regressed I think we've regressed are you angry because I
needed to be I needed you to be on board with me about mr. Magoo and you weren't
because you know okay I needed you to be to each his own we're going there
are we still going to the Philippines to say yes yes okay now I want to say I'm
gonna set up a meeting with me and mr. Magoo we'll see his mother yeah he's
a son of a whore son of a whore he really needs work with his diplomacy skills my
god I really quit the colada oh actually what's in these boxes oh we got to open
those yeah we got gifts right now if you want to open one right now I would just
like to say growing up my father said put on you not to me many times yeah
ironic cuz my mother is his wife right it's just a way of talking when I hear
we got one from truck Taylor Tray Tray Tray Taylor p.o. box 33 lorado don't
give no no no no don't give us a podcast right now what are you doing well pure
box 33 is like a is not his address it's a p.o. box yeah okay but just for
confidentiality come on open it up murdered I don't know don't say that now
she's don't murder don't murder Tray we like him he's a periscope listen
oh that's a nice one and then look at these license plate wow West Virginia
little piece of mice small shitty state to my homie George that's really nice
for real for me yeah the hats are for you we will West Virginia this is dope
when it put there when we have a real thing we're gonna put that on the wall
or something by the way on this podcast we're doing a live unboxing we're
unboxing live on a fucking you can check the vlogs to see the unboxing that just
happened since this is a great on YouTube yeah my mom my father called me
the son of a whore yeah I think put on you know is probably one of the most
common I heard it so many times phrases you hear growing up you don't it's like
saying ah son of a bitch yeah it's really no different and if it's part of your
say it like how your mom would say in the Philippines my mom is not Tagalog oh so
she doesn't say like put on you know ever but like all my Tagalog friends you
and it's just it would be like you know it would be like calling Bobby out that
son of a bitch you know I don't think his mom's like a legitimate bitch same thing
but it's just the way I speak and but I think that you know Obama was smart in
canceling that meeting do it man I think that he should regulate in that way I
mean look he was just obviously you know you know called something that was
translated not to be you know nice but at the same time he said like I think
this is how the guy speaks and I think that I think Obama took it like a G
cuz he's a fucking G cuz he is a G yeah look guys like I'm not on the fucking
tarotate wagon and the only reason I just trying to educate you I'll say
she's trying to educate you people like I'm not Filipino Americans no I'm not
like I've learned now I've learned something the only reason I really
don't even I'm not even allowed to have a say in this is because I'm living in
America you guys I didn't vote in the put in the Philippine election I'm
living here I'm living a very very comfortable life here like who am I to
really say anything in regards to what's going on back home yeah your game is
perspective though yeah I think that everybody just wants to cry foul whenever
they get they seem to feel this type of like solidarity every time they want to
pick it together you know someone did this in a faraway country let's fucking
stand here and say he's the worst person that ever lived it's like shut up go
find a new fucking hobby stop reading Huffington Post or Buzzfeed like listen
to NPR really get into like read some better shit my god watch TMZ that's
real too yeah TMZ very reliable source you guys
uh Tiger Belly fam let's have a business meeting right now mm-hmm we need
y'all help y'all oh yes we do to uh let's get Tiger Belly on the top 100 you
don't fuck that let's get Tiger Belly in the top 25 of iTunes we're not on the
charts right now we were we don't like to beg and we don't like Bob Bobby you
know gets weird he's like I don't care where we stand on the charge on the
charts but George myself and Gilbert kind of do yeah guys I'll say so if you
haven't already left a review on iTunes please do if you haven't already what
else do we need just rate it with five stars we don't know just rate it just
rate it from you know how you really read it from your heart but don't give us
less than three right so yeah rated from your heart but don't give us less than
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just write it down on a piece of paper and don't post it online and then burn
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think that we're almost there and we're pretty close pretty crazy guys one year
almost and it's been a year and we'll probably have some like special special
thing going on for our year episode which is in a couple weeks yeah so stay
tuned for that and and let's try to get that number to five hundred I kept
saying why does he want to high-five me I mean the fucking right here he's like
five five five hundred more five hundred reviews let's get five hundred views
Tiger Belly hashtag Tiger Belly fam you can follow us at at Tiger Belly on
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