TigerBelly - Episode 61: The Good Friend
Episode Date: October 5, 2016Bobby is a good father. Khalyla is Uber unlucky. Gilbert gets fish hooked. Pink Dick plays the long con. We talk racist parents, unmarked taxis, and adult bullies.  Recorded October 04..., 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube.com/tigerbelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Oh
We don't breathe enough as a family together
When you breathe that's when you know you're alive life is a fantasy
Well, we've done another episode of Tiger Belly. I am your captain Captain Bob
We do have shipmates Kalei like you. Did you say shit me? She's a shit. I said shit mates
Kalei like you
Gilbert and George. Let me say something right now
Life is a fantasy and I'm gonna tell you this I am as a family. I just feel like we don't need to carry around
baggage and resentment and
Hatred in our hearts. I feel like this family is gonna work if we just we're clear about
How we feel about each other? I don't want anyone in here. You know, have you heard of the term flower shielding?
Yes, we I think episode episode is called flower shielding flower shielding
Recap though. Yeah, I don't want to see your face and see a smile but in your heart. There's anger
Okay, and I know for a fact there's someone in this room right now
They have something to say to me and I don't like the fact that this fucking bastard comes into my house
You mean with resentment and anger and he doesn't say anything. He smiles as if we were all good
We're all good in the hood. No, I'm trying to forget who it is. I want to say um, I'll just call it out Georgetown USA
Has something to say to me and he's not saying it and I'd like to hear it before we get into this fucking podcast
Would you like to go to the fucking mic right now?
Prepare this time George Stopoulos because I also I would before you say anything George
Watch what you say and watch the tone friend
Um, also, can I just say yeah, you have to allow the man to speak good no interruptions
No, let him say but then how about this once he says his piece. Yeah, I have to say my piece
And no one interrupts my fucking piece
Because I'm the captain sure go ahead George
Firstly, let me say you're a good friend Bob. Thank you. Well, that's not how you know what already you're you lost
Already you know, let me tell you a story of back in the day. Okay first came to LA
Yeah, I was a little aspiring producer. It's long before like I'd produced videos that had gotten billions of views on YouTube
Number I've worked with worked with the top new media stars. Ooh, like Kassim G. Wow
Kassim G. I had no idea forgot. I was a little
Hey, no interruptions
You know, I was a little little unpaid intern at Will Ferrell's company. Oh, wow just, okay, you know, I
Was a go ahead. I know I met a girl there like you know
And as guys do when they meet a girl like I found out she lived in my neighborhood. I
I invited her out to drinks, you know, it was a Wednesday tradition Barragans. It's no longer there anymore
But they had $2.50 Margaritas and this was a pretty good time to like invite girls to
So she came to this $2.50 Margaritas night Wednesday night at Barragans
Uh-huh, and we had a great time. We were just chatting. We had so much in common. We were both aspiring producers
We bonded over French new wave films. We both had master's degrees in producing. Oh, okay, and then
Then my friends showed up my good friends
You know, I think they should probably like act like good-standing humans
Uh-huh, you know my friend Steve a lawyer my friend Dick a doctor probably and
They're significant others as well Dick's wife
Steve's girlfriend at the time
So they show up and instead of joining us as a group
They stand about 10 feet behind me and this girl this girl's back is to them
And they proceed to start saying hey George. Hey George, and then doing this symbol
If you can describe it, okay
He does a little like a little okay sign the whole he takes his other finger and sticks his finger in the okay sign
Yeah, you say are you saying that's sexual penetration? Yes, that's what they were trying to okay
That's the semaphore. They were doing when I was trying to chat with this girl instead of joining them
I thought like I come from I grew up in the circus. It's a it's a tiger running through a
circle of flames
Yeah, I grew up in the circus, but anyway, go ahead
So I keep on trying to like make sure like the conversation keeps going with this girl
So she doesn't turn around and see them like every time they like hey George
Can you stop for a second? Just stop for a second. I'm interrupting you. I just want to say something to call Lila. Yes, baby
Can you look at me right now? Yeah, baby
Look over I don't know if I can deal with this shit
You have to come on. I know but Steve look at me right baby. I'm on the fucking precipice. Okay. I'm snapping
Don't snap. All right. Go ahead George. I know that's what I'm saying
So it's about to happen and I'm about to fuck go ahead
so uh, I
thought I avoided her seeing anything of my
uh
good friends, uh
Just doing that. Yeah being very childish and doing the chook-chook sign. Yeah being very yeah
Very insensitive to me like we were getting along great this. I don't know. I might have had a great time with this girl
Who knows? They were being obnoxious. Yeah. Yeah
So we all go to another bar. She said she's had enough to drink and
So I walk her to her car about a week later. I text her no response a couple weeks after that. I call her no response
Hmm. I think maybe she had seen my friends. Uh-huh, you know being good friends and uh actually very rude friends
Basically cock-blocking me a week a couple months later. I like finally I finally
Email her
No response. I'm like, okay. This is not going anywhere
So that's my good friend so as I like to say Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you two are a good friend
Because right rage
Go ahead calm down
last week you may have
blown up my personal life and there is a subset. Yeah
Yeah, there's a section of the female populace who might not like their uh, their personal life to be on on blessed and
In order to have a relationship with me. They might think oh
Bobby's gonna put me on blast. There are many people
that may
Let him finish. You may not like this. Let him finish
and uh
So, so thank you, Bobby. So you're so you're saying George. Let me get this straight the gist of your story is
You thought Bobby was a good friend when he just really cock-blocked you
He's just like all my other good friends. So right now look at me right now. You're like all my other good friends
What happened? You blew it up. He ruined it for you. The girl no longer wants to speak with you
I'm not doesn't want to be in a
She just wants to be friends now
I'm just saying there's there's people out there that may there might be a large group of people
Who knows? George, this is your problem. When you try to confront somebody about things be explicit. What did Bobby do wrong?
He did he fuck it up for you. You blew up my fucking joint dog
Oh god damn
Sit back down
Sit back down. Yes, sir. Okay, go ahead
Oh, this is this is right here. Your piece. What's your piece? There's no piece. Okay
Number one
And I I'm stating
I'm stating
Yeah, number one
Right now. I'm stating facts. Okay. Okay facts
Okay, last week. Let me ask you a question you fucking
Got you my friend
All right, did you know I was gonna fucking put you on blast last week before the podcast
Yeah, did you look at me right now? Did you know that I was gonna talk about it great attorney before the fucking podcast
No, but you know what the content of what I'm about to say, right?
But you already knew what I was gonna do
So, let me tell you guys something right now last week. I said that
You know, he's been hanging out with
Kalila's friend Jessica
Who is in korean a gishin?
A monster
It's not mean that's fine. All right
If you look at a fucking toad and you don't call it a toad and he says i'm a i'm a wolverine. You're a toad
Yeah, you're not a wolverine. Exactly. You're the only one who ever says that
She pulled some major major great a dick, which is you know, there are mysteries of life
TV shows based on mysteries of life the Loch Ness monster the Loch Ness monster what and whatnot
Thank you Gilbert for fucking backing me up. All right, but there are mysteries of life now. Listen to me right now
Okay, you already knew I was gonna say okay and number two
You are not and this is what I'm trying to teach you friend. All right right now. I'm being a um, I'm a prophet
I'm your fucking prophet. Okay. Don't roll your eyes, bitch. I didn't roll my eyes. Don't worry. I saw you
I want to say this. You're not a closer
And I've been watching you for years
You're not a closer. You can open the game
But you don't want to close and i'm teaching you how to close. I want to tell you a story my friend
May I tell you a story?
A long time ago. I owned a skate store. Did you know that? Yeah
Yeah, it was called juvie. It was in Silver Lake. All right. I was part owner with my friend Calisto
One day i'm working in the skate store and this girl walks in
beautiful girl skate girl
I go, uh, this is right here. I like this girl right here, right?
So I took her to dinner got her number and whatnot. Okay
And then like a week later
I go fuck it's not I don't know. I don't feel it. So i'm gonna I gotta take it to the next level
So I took her to vegas
I took her to the vegas
With a bunch of friends of mine
Okay
And this is when I was on drugs
So this is over 14 years ago
And I got I drank I took some ecstasy
I didn't know where she was
And I opened up the closet of my hotel room and my friend
Oh, it's fucking her in the closet
I shut the closet and I went back to sleep
He wasn't I didn't yell at my fucking friend. You know why?
Because I didn't claim that shit yet
He didn't close I didn't close the deal and when the deal is not closed. It's not my product
Okay, um women aren't
I that I'm using it in in a business analogy. I'm not saying that women are property
I'm saying they're all human beings. We have flesh and bones. We have spirits and souls. Okay. That's what I'm saying
All right. Love what I'm saying is is that you right? You take too long
You don't close the deal and that should have been yours. You don't ask a girl. Hey, so um, I met this other girl
Um, I was wondering if um word this is going
She's gonna be like nowhere dog
I think you're wrong. No, no, you're not wrong. I'm not wrong. Tell her. Tell him how I closed your deal
Um, I was like, hey, there's no wait wait. There is no reason on god's green
earth
He's that I should be dating her. There's no it doesn't make sense in life
It doesn't make sense to the universe or god or anything else, but I did and tell him
I said, hey, I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship and I'm actually leaving for london in two weeks
He was like nah, bitch
You're my girl. You're my girlfriend. You ain't going nowhere
And I was like, wait, what? He was like, yeah, you're my girlfriend and I'm and if she would have gone
It's done
He's like, nope. Bye. Bye
You lost you lost and I just I just actually asked I said, oh, I am
Because yeah, I've been telling people for a long time. You're my girlfriend. So you're my girlfriend. Yeah, I was like, okay
she probably
Made a bad mistake
This could have been not the best life for her, but she's in
Okay, so look at me right now my friend
I look at how fucking angry look at his red face. He's pretty red right now. He's pinker than pink. He's pinker than pink
Yeah, all right, which is red
Which is red, okay
I
really like you man
I do
We talk about you all the time. We go. God. Aren't we lucky to have george on our team?
And
Um, you come to my shows
You you deal with all the like the stickers smelling them out and I don't even know what's going on. You do everything
That's why this podcast
I'm splitting it four ways down the middle
You know, I know that I'm the bigger star here and don't please don't
Don't argue against that
No, it's hard. All right. I'm the biggest star
Clio, but
Listen, look at me right now. In fact, I want everyone to say it. You're the biggest star everyone right on the counter all together
Bobby Lee, you're the biggest star. I didn't hear george
Now george you say it on your own because I didn't hear you
Good thank you
And don't ever
Drop kassim g's shit in my fucking alone again or any youtube star. I respect them. Okay. I'm they're my peers
But don't threaten me
With that stuff. Okay
Um, are you done? Go ahead. I'm not done yet, but I just want to say that I'm
I'm sorry
Oh now you're sorry
No, I'm sorry. Here's what I'm sorry about
I'm sorry
That you reacted the way you did. Okay
And I'm sorry that you didn't close the deal
And I'm sorry that right now you're gonna grow and you're gonna be a fucking
Man one day
But you're not a closer and I want you to learn to be closer. That's it. And that's the end of the story
You have anything else to say george
I I have something to say defend george. I have something to say to friend. I think you do. Yeah
I want to hear this fuck faces thing one george is a man. He is a man very much to wait wait two
How did we know he's not doing the long con?
Fuck a long con though. You don't get your dick wet with a long we don't know
He probably gets his dick sucked all the time. We don't know that. What if he's trying to like I want the girlfriend
I know
No, then if that's the I I usually can tell if a guy's pulling a long con. I've seen pictures of his you've seen pictures of
long cons long cons
Generally do not work
It's it's not that's it's science
I would actually agree. It doesn't work because I was it doesn't work. I don't think he knows what a long con
Do you mean? Yeah, I know what a long I used to do long. I used to do long cons. Yeah long con is when you meet a girl
You're attracted to her
You know you you go you don't want I just want to hang out with this girl
And I'm gonna take my time with it
You know, but you know what a lot of that is is fear
It's fear of you not making a move
And to get rejected. But the thing is is that the problem with the long con is long cons always turn into friend zone
Oh always
Almost always turns into friend zone and when she and when you're in the friend zone
It's almost impossible to get out. It is. Yeah
Because once somebody's in the friend zone because I've been in friend zones and I've also seen other people in friend zones
You have to then
To save it you have to do the reverse cut them off completely
Mm-hmm. Sorry guys. Can you grab me a tissue? My left nostrils keeps leaking and I keep wiping
I keep wiping it like this. I think I have a deviated septum only my left nostril keeps leaking
I have um, I I now want to say something about George. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Here you go, babe
Oh, it's black tissue. Yeah, go ahead. You want to see that white snot all over that. Yeah
um, sorry, I'm totally donald trumping with my sniffing
I
Want to say that it's refreshing to see a guy like George who's not pretentious
Who's not trying to pull any games who's actually coming off and actually
courting somebody in a very
Try old-school kind of way not pushy not
Aggressive not angry when she says no and I I can really really appreciate how he's gone about this
my only constructive criticism about the whole thing is
I know my best friend and my best friend is a tough nut to crack and she's very feisty
So you almost have to manhandle her in a way where she's like where you're like, look at me
Look at me. Yeah, not in an aggressive way, but in an assertive way in a calm assertion because she's an animal
I'm an animal her and I respond George her and I respond to very similar ways of of of being
Approached and it's not it's not in any way like aggressive. It's just really fucking assertive where it's like
I know my place in your life and you ought to see it too
type thing
That's my only advice my only tip going forward. I think I would be happy. I said this before
For someone for her to date someone like you, but we got to feel it in our groin
We got to feel that that fuel just wanting to fuck our loins to want to jump out at you
Yeah, and you don't do that without by by by being
Bobby just spit on his hand and touch clouds
So nasty. What does this say?
What does it say what does the sticker say?
I declare war on your pussy enough sad war that's actually a good thing
It's a war and let me see something right now. You have anything else to say to me. That's all you're saying long form
Is that all you have?
I mean, I wasn't the situation on this podcast early on get your spot blown up
It's hard to do when your spots blown up speaking of which let's blow gilbert spot up a little bit. I know
I know I'm not done with this yet, but I will get into that. Okay. Okay. Okay
You also had another situation where some girl came along. I want to show like, you know what I mean
One of that one other girl. I didn't like her. I didn't like her either
But what I'm I'm not gonna blow her spot up. But what I'm saying is is that I feel like he is
It's a thing with him
Yes, to be in friend zones and not closing a deal and having drinks. No, you have to grab them on the wrist
And you what?
Not not not literally. Okay. Okay metaphorically grab them by the wrist. Get a grip by the hair
Grab by the hair the nape of the knife metaphorically and you gotta pull it back as far as you care metaphorically pull it back
Really tight metaphorically. You're a you're an american engineer scalping somebody
metaphorically metaphorically and you gotta fucking look them in the eyes and go
Take it or leave it
Because I'm going to take it metaphorically metaphorically metaphorically everyone listening. So
That's your lesson to learn
And if I ever see you
In this situation again, I am going to blow you back up again
I want to take this moment also to say on the for the record
If you ever date that girl that you brought around me that ended up hitting on gilbert
Which this relationship is over. Do not talk about I dislike her. We're gonna talk about it so deeply
I dislike her so deeply for you. She is not long conning anyone. She is a con
And I guarantee you that woman to woman. I felt her vibe ever
If you ever bring cons into my fucking life
Our family
You have another thing coming. She was I don't know why you're angry. She all right
She was hyping him up having fucking sexting all this stuff and then she came to stay in george's place
And then fucking hit on gilbert
I don't know how to get
I'm gonna blow her spot up because I just don't like her. I don't like her for you for you for you for us
Yeah, I mean, obviously I can't tell you what to do, but like god don't ever bring that bitch around me again
so
That is why george was george kimble long con work. So
To wrap it up
You're forgiven to wrap it up. Don't wrap it up. Don't wrap it up, but I also want you to say i'm sorry
I I need to hear i'm sorry
I'm sorry, you fucking blew up my church. There you go
Stand your ground. I didn't hear the second part. Go ahead. Stand your ground. So about his new yorkan
No, he was in new york. Tell us how was the wedding. You deal with your first time in new york
I was in new york for the first time you've never been in new york before never been new york
I was there for a wedding uh and uh the first time ever i've been to a wedding
with a date
That happened to be
A romantic partner that is female for everyone listening. That is
It's a girl that you're dating number one asian
So clap. Let's just do a slow. Wait. I thought he was dating a girl that girl from
Home where she does the soda work movies or whatever. That's her. That's her. The asian girl. What's her name?
No, no, come on. Just can we do a slow clap because member in the beginning of the podcast
Look at me before you go on your rage terror right now because look i'm not raging out
You I heard you say this at agahas. Was it agahas?
You said you were talking to george. You're like, look if you bring a girl in my world
Just know i'm gonna bring her into my world. So right now. I'm not bringing her into your world
Just to keep things safe because I want to make you that's fair enough to meet her in person and then you can
No, if I don't get to know her now. I don't ever want to know her and claela will know her
Why am I acting like that? You're right. No, you're right. Sorry, baby. Sorry. That's why you introduced her to mommy first
Which I did. I'm in a I'm in a
Amy hanging
Sorry, you had a weird paw like hand
because the guys
I apologize for my my attitude and where I am I'm just going through destiny withdrawal
How's it with you have a to go xbox? No, we have we have a rule now
I don't play on tuesdays and thursdays
And I didn't play all day saturday when trials of osiris was going on and I couldn't finish any of my gold tiers
I didn't get anything
But um, it's fine. I'm going through my destiny withdrawal. We just hit a compromise
He just can't play destiny two nights out of the week so we can have a movie night
That's the five days out of sevens pretty fucking good bobby. You don't need to withdraw
Why would you skip osiris saturday? I don't know why but I knew that she was mad at me
So I didn't play. Oh, interesting. We started saturday and then sunday
We made it goes you can play and then we made a negotiation. We did we struck a deal a deal, but um
So I'm just I'm going through destiny withdrawal
So I might be a little bit off kilter. Is that a good word? Is that a?
Thank you. That's fine. Okay. So I want to I want to first off say that I think that I'm the only friend
On this side that's actually a met um your girl
And she seemed like
A girl we could hang with very nice well spoken really seems to care about gilbert
And she's cute like why why wouldn't we be happy for him? I'm already happy for him. Yeah, I am too
Can you at least do this for me?
May I see a photo not right now?
Whoa, why why don't you?
She doesn't have social media one. She doesn't have social media. You see you don't she doesn't also me talking about
I don't even want to talk about her on this. That's fine. We're not talking about it
That's fine. Show me a picture and also put it online. No, I'm not putting it online. I don't want to talk to her
I'm just saying as a friend
May I see
A picture maybe after maybe now not now because you're not the only one seeing it right now
The whole world the people that are not my friends in the internet. Oh, you mean this right here? Yeah
So that's why I was gonna hide it. I was gonna just put on the thing
I'll go around and look at her and then I'll come back at take my word for it
My girl can meet my friends not people looking at this camera. Yeah, that's fine. He has his own rules about his life
Sweetie, we don't have to you know what it is
Don't don't kill her right now. I'm not going I'll kill her. I just this is what it is. Okay. Maybe we're not there yet
Maybe not
I don't think that we're there yet as a family. You're just a very cruel captain. I'm not a cruel captain
I'm a good captain called a shit things shit mates. You call you start at the top call the shit mates all of us
And you blew George up. I understand that but sometimes the captain right has to talk to the crew that way
right because
Stuff you just did what's that? I'm gonna show you picture of my phone. I'm protecting someone else. Yeah, but I'm not okay, it's fine
Bobby, we're not there yet. None. We're not here yet. We're not we're not there yet
We're not there yet. Okay. We're not there. We're not we're not close. We agree. We're not close, right?
We'll have to reevaluate the whole thing. Okay. We evaluate this friendship all of it
But we had such a successful birthday last oh last week whose birthday was it was that? Oh my god, Bobby
It was our your shipmates birthday is our life first ship's birthday our first live podcast that we haven't talked about it
No, we haven't this is the podcast. I want to say this
May I say something? Yes, you may
What a surprise
What a night
I went to a place that they held auditions for some pretty
Industrial film for some southwest airline thing
So that you walk in and there's people signing up to audition
And we had our podcast in
An audition room
So when I first showed up there I was gonna
Uh
You're grumpy grumpy. I was gonna burn the place down
But when I walked in
it changed everything
and it made me feel
gleeful
And really excited about what we're doing. What was it like? I saw a bunch of people that really liked our podcast
and that um
It makes me want to cry right now, but you know that and then
And the podcast was fun
I got to talk to people and whatnot
And then this weekend
I was at the um new lefty live comedy club in oxnard
And these two kids from long beach who are target belly fans showed up
And that took them to denny's afterwards, but the reason why I did is because
Anybody that listens to this podcast
is just a different
fan
than regular fans
They're more family than other ones. How great was every single person in that room?
um
Last week. Awesome. I mean everybody was just
amazing
Amazing kind and fun and they were funny
Funny, you know, and they were smart and they were just very like interactive and you know some there were a few that were
Were introverted, but you can tell like the wheels were spinning in their head. Yeah
Yeah, it's such a fucking fun bunch. It felt good. It felt really good. Um, there was that
Half latino girl in the front. She was cool
Bianca
Bianca that the white dude that brought the pizza
I came a lot
Um, there was um, the lady from the law office from san diego. Oh, yeah
Who was sara? Yeah. Yeah, you know all the names. I it's crazy how I know them all by name
Also, joe the one whose butt bobby wanted to climb into the big guy. Yeah, joe. Yeah
There was a guy in there that he had he was a big guy
Yeah
Returned return. Yeah return and I wanted to just open open his butt cheeks and walk in
Not metaphorically and not in a sexual way, but just in a he was very pillowy very very welcoming like his his body
You just definitely want to lay in
Yeah, that was a very good, um
Very nice experience and in general
All tiger belly fans have been
Just a delight
Nothing but supportive. Yeah, they get occasionally you get they get the
They don't know how to express their loves so they say mean things
But george and I came up with a conclusion that people just express love in different ways in different ways. Yeah
So if they even if it's something that may seemingly be offensive, they're just that's their way of showing interest in you
And i'm okay with that
Yeah
and um
even like
Jade did the weekend with me at levity live at oxenard and a lot of tiger belly fans. Obviously
Like her and she I would like to really do a podcast with uh
Kalilah jade and ossa or something girl woman's podcast. Yeah, that would be your honorary woman
No, I don't want to do it. I I want to produce it
But I would like to be there, but I don't want to be on it speed out the view
Um onto a not so good note
Tell us what happened on sunday in oxenard on your final show with a guy
And sitting in the front
The down syndrome guy not the down syndrome guy, but oh my god. Yeah, so um, you know, I have a joke about
I have a joke that I tell you don't have to say it. Just I'll just give you just give you the gist of the joke
But there was a the joke I have where um, I have a joke about people down syndrome having sex
Yeah, yeah, and um
So I'm about to tell the joke and this older man in the audience in the front row goes
My son has down syndrome. He has tears in his eyes tears in his eyes
And I look at him. I go you're being for real
Yeah
He has down syndrome
I go
Well, I hope you enjoy the joke
What else that's the answer that's I mean you can't stop. Yeah, I'm if okay, listen
I tell comics this all the time
Is if you have a joke where you can't tell it
In certain rooms because of who's in the room. They should never tell the joke
Because you know, it's just not then it's offensive be on your set
But if I'm going to tell it
I'm going to tell it no matter who's in the room because you know
I believe in the joke and I believe in America America and I believe in
Um, free speech and all that stuff. Yeah, so it wasn't going to stop me from telling the joke, but
It didn't go well
Yes, it did
Well, he it did because at the end. Yeah, he did laugh
He did laugh hysterically. It's just the rest of the audience felt bad uncomfortable. They were kind of like the whole audience
While I was saying they were going
Don't say it
But he was laughing
At the end a very end though. Yeah at the very end
Because I'd go into the sex moves. Yeah, you know, I mean and uh, they
It got to him, but um
Like it's like I tell a joke about Alzheimer's. It's kind of not really nice
But and people some people don't like it. I mean, it's like I can't
You can't write jokes, you know based on how people are going to feel about it
I don't care. Yeah, I mean I care about people's lives in there and it's hard
But if I think something is funny, I'm just going to do it
You know and um
In this whole thing about like I'm not really into you know, the whole thing about bullies and all that
I like bullies because you are a bully. No, no, I'm not a bully. I was
I was always bullied. I was bullied too. I was bullied brutally in high school
And I thank those bullies
I want to tell kids that are being bullied in high school go listen like nerds
Yeah, it's tough now
But when in your 20s
That bully is going to be a doorman at a club
And you're going to make millions of dollars and you throw a wad in
Yeah, what I'm saying is is that life changes into shifts and bullies generally don't
They turn into there's a comic michael linochi
Who's christilia's opener? Okay linochi? I feel like he could have been a bully in high school, right bro
But that's why I treat him like shit
Because I know
That I speak for
The bullied the nerds
And you seem to think that i'm not a bully what we just said that I was a bully
Yeah
You're an adult bully. You think that i'm a bully. I think you bully some of us
Nah
No, okay. No, no, man. That's not that's not true bullying. You don't even know what bully means then
Because my shit's love
Oh hard love. That's not even hard love. It's pure love. Oh, it's pure. The pure has come. Yeah. Yeah. If you saw if love
love
In physical form
Is me
Oh, wow. Also, check out love on netflix season two
Which i'm terrible on you stop saying that I just saw it's terrible something. I'm a bad actor
No, you're fine. I was just on uh, what's a son of zorn terrible
No, you weren't you were very funny and then she went to the premiere late in america and she hated me in it
I'll speak of that. There were the internet went a little crazy
He was very good. Who said it
Who's that?
He was also in the movie
Yeah
Everyone says that every single person says that you're really good in the movie except for this bitch right here
Because I just can't you're not I don't believe it. I can't see it. That's not what I said
You're at all. You're misquoting me. Oh my lord. You're misquoting and then I go into a depression. I go outside
I'm sick right now. What the fuck I said my career is over. I don't like it when he does an accent
I just can't get past it. I feel like the part would have been just as funny as him being an asian american
With a mother with an accent. I just didn't think it was necessary
But it's not his but it's not his choice and I know they asked me to do it
And that's so what am I gonna do? I mean say I don't want to do this movie
You're acting what you you were hilarious. I just can't get past an accent. You know me. I'm so weird about shit
Yeah, but you know what? I mean still there's a nicer way to do it because I want to do a depression
You know, I mean I want to do a deep depression about it and I'm like should I change not ever act again?
And he was so angry at me at the red carpet. Why did you say that the red carpet though?
I didn't say it at the red carpet. I said that afterwards, but you didn't even stay for the movie
I watched it at home because like I feel like we left the movie which was I'm sorry anyone that
Has any of the movie we just sat there. We're like this movie is not gonna start
Yeah, we're right next to the producers and you know, there's two stars. Yeah
So we snuck out and then they said, where would you go and I go she she has a heart condition
I blame I blamed it on her heart. That's what's good. It sucks having koala with a heart condition
But you still use it. Yeah, you use it. Yeah
Um, but the the movie itself had very very funny parts like parts where I like genuinely left. Um
The internet though on instagram went crazy for that picture of you and bobby on the red carpet talking about your abs
Then you told me something really funny when you walked in here is that bobby said he wished I never had abs and wished
Yeah, we were in bed earlier. He's like I fucking hate your abs. He's disgusted by my abs
Why do you hate my abs?
Um, because um, maybe it's the thing. I'm trying to get you not to be desirable
Abs are not necessarily desirable to a lot of men. I know a bunch of my dude friends who don't like very defined abs
They like the more, you know, yeah
Um, but he was very very upset at me while we were walking the red carpet
Not actually while he was walking the red car. Yeah, here's another thing. It's it's if I okay, so we might get invited to
the um
Keeping up with the jones's premiere. Okay, and if that's the case
You're gonna fucking walk the red carpet with me
Yeah, that's the whole point but not this not this last one. She's like, I'm gonna just go up. She left
I didn't I was waiting at the side. I didn't want to be photographed that day
Doesn't matter. Do you think I did you just have to do it? I just have you know, my anxiety and stuff
Yeah, you think I hate it
I hate it myself, but you have to do it. I should have I should have suffered with you
Yeah, and I should have like stood you hung out with sid wilder your new friend, you know, man
You did your hashtag podcast leverd you?
Um, but
Thank you for casting me in that movie. It was cute. It was a cute movie for sure
I have nothing bad to say about it
And but you said that the um keeping up with the zorn was okay with me and it
Uh son of zorn whatever that shows. I thought you were the funniest part of that episode. Okay. Yeah, I thought you were really cute
I I go ahead. No, no, I mean I like the show. I mean, I just don't I don't watch things that I'm in
I know you don't I hate it. I know and that's why we had to leave the movie. We left it. Yeah, we left the movie
but before
That same day
Which was last wednesday. I had to jump out of an uber in the middle of an intersection. Yeah, what why?
I jumped into an uber with a very rageful driver
Like he went into a full fucking rage and I had to jump out of the car
he um
So he picked me up and he seemed a little bit like he was already in a bad mood
And he couldn't when I and when you know when when you when you enter the car
The driver has to hit start or passenger is in the car right so that that way or pick up that way
You know, they can charge you the money, right?
And I guess he didn't pay his phone bill. So right when I got into the car he couldn't
Um
charge me for the ride
And I realized what was happening because his maps was his maps google maps wasn't working
He didn't his uber app wasn't working
So I said, hey, you know sir just like close down all your apps and maybe start it up again
And maybe it'll work, you know, and it didn't work. So I struck a deal with him. I was like, you know what?
I was like, looks like you're having a bad day
I'll pay you the fare was only supposed to be five dollars. It was only like three miles away
And I was like, I'll give you 20 bucks. I was like just get me to where I need to be
That's I thought that was what I thought was the nice guys having a bad day, right? What do you say?
Midway through the trip I
I because I was using the maps on my phone for directions. I was like, let's just use my phone
Don't worry about it. He starts pounding on his um steering wheel like fuck this bullshit
And I so the horns honking. Yeah, like getting angry and he's like, where the fuck I go next
He's like asking me for directions. I was like, oh, you're gonna make a left on highland
And I was like, sir, I'm just trying to help you like, you know
and
And then I was like, hey
Make a left here, but you might want to go um stay on the right lane trying to give him like trying to give him like tips
You know, and he raised his fucking hand like this
I'm sitting in the back and he's like, I know how the fuck Franklin works. Like he tried to shush me
In the middle of the fucking intersection. I had $10 because I knew that if I he was probably not
He seemed dangerous to me. Yeah, if I didn't pay him. I knew he was the type to chase my ass down
So the fare was only supposed to be five bucks. I threw him a 10 and I and I fucking jumped out of the car
And I filed a complaint to uber and they have not responded to me at all
But I screenshotted everything and I was stuck in the middle of Hollywood because I couldn't even get another uber because
Um, his app had frozen. So I couldn't like my exit. Yeah, I couldn't exit out of mine
How many start what was the star rating? Um four
So, you know, something bad must have happened because it's pretty low. It's actually not as well
Well, when I went to the normick don't think that happened to me too. Oh really uber driver
Yeah, I mean norm mcdonald has his shell, right? So it was in venice
And um, they go we got a car. So they picked me up and halfway during the ride
I don't know what happened
But the the the ticket was lost or disconnected or
Yeah, so then he just pulls over on venice boulevard. It broke get out
I go, that's not how yeah, I yeah, but I I don't even I didn't even know it was an uber
They did it. They sent it for they sent it for me, right? I go. Yeah. Okay. Well, I have like a hundred bucks in my pocket
So just drive me to the place and I'll pay you no block get out
I go and then I'm calling the guy
Right and and then the producer of the thing and they were like, oh my god
and
I'm sitting in a car now with this guy on the side of venice boulevard
And we're not moving and I have to tape this thing. So we have to get there
But finally like, you know after about 15 minutes
It's they call them and something they you know, they arranged it, but he was visibly angry
And so the second half of it was like an angry an angry drive. You're in danger, basically
So I think uh uber's got to fix that
It's not it most of the time look 99.999 percent of all my uber rides are perfectly uneventful
It's just I would the one thing I would appreciate is look like I'm a chick, right?
That guy was obviously in some type of like aggressive mode
And the fact that I had I felt so unsafe that I had to jump out of the car
um
Is I deserve a response at the very least what I'm saying is is this uber, right to their drivers that have that kind of like
When customers have that kind of experience the consequences should be very severe. Yeah, not like, okay one strike
Like no strikes. No because it's like because for me, I'm not an uber guy
I don't know much about it. I've taken them
Because I don't I'm not I don't trust it. Yeah, like I'd rather take a cab
But they're supposed to be where I said cab what's the face about George for a cab doing over
Yeah, because for me cabs are more screened the drivers are screened. Yeah, first of all cab through the same background with cab
I know for a fact
That I'm going to get to my destination
I know for a fact
I have never been in a cab on the thousands of cabs I've ever been there where they pulled over and said get out
Yeah, this is just two stories between us two
That should never happen because as a with a cab they're a part of a company and they could get fired
Yeah, you lose your medallion. Yeah. Yeah, you want to hear a fun tidbit about no, I want to finish this with him
So now are you shaking your head fuck fuck her?
I've had nothing but great experiences with uber. So I'm just oh
I can't let go. He just can't let go. This just
Can't it's like it comes out in everything that he does know and he can't get over this Jessica thing. She doesn't like you dude
Get over positive energy
She loves you. She loves you. She loves you. She wants to marry you. She wants to like her
Can you explain to me this when we were younger my sister and I um, we didn't have a family car in the Philippines
But we had an unmarked um taxi
That drove us with with when we had a driver. His name was Manoy Cesar
Okay, and it was an unmarked taxi that didn't have a meter and
And we that was our car for like eight years. You had a driver
I know, but why did my dad insist on making you look like a taxi?
So you want to be pretentious? Yeah, he doesn't want to look like you guys are a rich white girl, but you were yeah
That's so strange. People are eating beetles outside. You had an unmarked taxi
Get a free ride everywhere. He refused to have just a regular credit. That reminds me of a story. I don't know why
But it's a little dark, but when I was a kid
My mom picked me up from camp
and um
All the kids they get off of the bus
this bus
And they go to their moms and they hug their moms, you know, because we've been gone for two weeks or whatever
And I remember at poaching my mom and she came to hug me and I pushed her
Wait, why would yeah, yeah
Why how old were you?
I don't remember like eight. Maybe nine or something
And I remember like we're in the car and my mom backhanded me. Yes
Thoroughly fucking time good the asian style
But but no like hard hits good. Oh not like like you're a little scary. I'm like bad. Can't pop good pop deserve pop
And for like days, I just never left the room. I was like it was summertime
And I was just crying and trembling good
I don't know why I did that though. Yeah, you're a little shit
No, I think we've all done stuff like that because I've called my mom
I don't know why she she gave me the wrong when I was like seven she gave me the wrong hamburger
I asked for a wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger
She gave me one without bacon and she ate it took a bite and I saw it. I said, you're such a fatso
And then she looks
I don't like like that. She looked at me said what the fuck did you say? Yeah, she dragged my arm into a dark room
I don't know why it'd be dark. Yeah, pinched me
Was she pinched you? Oh, I love it. Tell the fucking nails touch. I just the blood that pierced my cheek
I love it. I love what parents do. Don't call your mama fat so yeah
At least you guys got hit because you deserved it
Yeah, you got hit a lot. I got hit for fun for sport
No, my mom was going through some things, you know, but let me tell you something
I don't think that I don't hit my dog
I don't ever hit people in general
But if I had a 16 year old daughter who came home and said fuck you you stupid cunt bitch knockout
Oh my god
But I will grab that I will snatch her by the by the fucking hair
And I will drag her through the neighborhood and shame her like sirsie's sir say
So what do you guys think about parenting when you're kids?
When you're gonna inflate do you want to do that kind of punishment?
But when you okay, I'm gonna I like that scenario. Okay, but I'm going to tell you what a 16 year old
Like I was that 16 year old. Okay. Do it. Okay. He'll be coming
So this is what if I was a girl, right?
And you grab my hair. Yeah, this is what I would do. So you grab my hair
Well, say it to me first. Get her angry. Hey, mom. You're a fucking cunt. Oh, oh, yeah
I didn't hear you. Oh, I'll say it. Oh shit. You're a cunt
Oh
Shit, okay, then you hit me, right? You know what I would do as that rebellious 16 year old
All right, I park my shed. No, no, no, I wouldn't just hit you. I wouldn't even let you go
I would snatch like this and I would fucking knee you
Yeah, in the face, in the face
In the mouth, in the mouth. I would knee you. I would Muay Thai clinch you and I would just knee you
I would do to Rich Franklin. Yeah. Yeah, Anderson Silva did to Rich Franklin. All right. So, okay after that beating
Yeah, what I was doing is all right
You know to Shay and then I would I would go to my room. Yeah pack my stuff
Yeah, and never see you again. No, you wouldn't I think
16 years are scared to do that because I as a 16 year old if you and I had a kid
Yeah, I think our 16 year old would be kind of cute
So I'll be like, you know what I'm gonna use my pussy for and take advantage of some shit. No, I think
that
That's what that taught me
Use my pussy to get some shit. My dad is Bobby Lee
Oh my god
The parenting is tough man because I feel like you're gonna be the enemy one way or the other, you know
Yeah, you guys will do a good cop bad cop, right? Or both. Oh, he better be on board
No, I'm the good cop for sure. For sure. Good cop. For sure. It's going to be a reason. Mom just need you. Here's three thousand dollars
Let's go to let's go to Barney's
Yeah, and then me and my daughter at Barney's shopping. I'll Muay Thai clinch you too. Yeah
And we both have black eyes my daughter and I
Father and daughter walking around with bloody faces black with a lot of merch
Yeah, I mean just bags of
That is the one thing I require out of a father and a husband
What is that you have to and I will do give show you the same respect you have to co-sign with my decisions
And we have to stand firm together. You know, it's like not that good. That's why I'm like I'm right now
I mean, I know this that we're if you we had kids you and I the whole family would be under your leash
Why why does that have to be a leash? I think we would all be kind of like tip-toeing around, you know, man
Like a horror film. Yeah, yeah
You know because we're so scared of making the wrong move
You'll be powerful though. I don't need to be
Friends with my children while I raise them. We can be friends later down the road. They'll get it
They'll respect you wouldn't be friends with me either
If you're not on my side, I will treat you like my child. Give me an example. I'm gonna give you an example of okay
So Gilbert's our kid. Yeah, okay. So what would he something he'd be do? Let's say he um, I gotta find a school
No, he's got you know, he got
We get a call from a school saying that they found weed in his backpack
Oh weed. All right, and he's kicked out of school for a week. Okay. I what I would do. Yeah
I did weed
If you're going to do that
Let's
Don't bring it to school. I'm not I don't disagree with you
Experimenting with drugs. Oh, cool. Sweet. But I think that we can probably do that in a way where you don't get in trouble
With school and other authority like authority figures. So let's do it in a more controlled setting. I'm not against it
But let's do it the right way. Let's be smart about it
Let's be responsible about your weed smoking because the society hasn't caught up
To marijuana use yet. So in the meantime, let's just be smart about where we bring it and where we smoke it
Smoke it here. Yeah every day. He's 16
When by the time I have a 16 year old marijuana loss would have
Been changed. I'm gonna say that listen. Listen. What's your name?
Dad, what the fuck? You don't know your own name. It's Gabriel Gabriel. Yeah, Gabriel. Okay number one
You're 16
I in my house, I just want you to follow the law
Not the law of my house the law of the country
All right, so I don't want you to be drinking in my house. You're not 21
All right, I want I don't want you to be smoking weed in my house
You're not 18 or however, how old you need to be to get it
Right the what the medical marijuana you have to be 18, right? I think so. Yeah, right
So you're just gonna follow the rules of the law
What if I don't want to
If don't then I you're gonna be cut off from me
All right, and you're gonna make me an enemy
And I'm gonna make your heart life very difficult. I'm sorry papa. Okay, then you're more the disciplinarian then because I'm a little bit more
In that situation
I mean, no, but I'm not being a disciplined there. I'm just saying you are I don't want a legal shit going on my house
Don't kill anybody. Don't rape anybody
But you know kids are going to do it anyway, so it's like at least let him know
Okay, you're gonna do it whether I say not to
Whether I allow it or don't right you're gonna do it
So at least let's hatch a plan to where you don't get caught for your shit
See now you're a bad parent. I'm not a bad parent. He's gonna do it anyway. No, no, no
Son be responsible. Don't be a fucking idiot about I'm gonna stop stop again then stop again lady. Okay
Look at me son. Yeah Gabriel. You also know that alcoholism and drug addiction
Runs through our family. We'll talk about that
He's just look
They run through our family my your uncle Steve hasn't okay. I have it
My your grandfather has it alcoholism. All right, so as long as you're living in this house
You're not gonna drink or do drugs or anything at 18 when you leave you can do whatever you want
Okay, but not in my house
Okay
That's it
Okay, he's gonna do it anyways
I don't know. Okay, and then you're gonna and then he's gonna bring out my dad and me
And he's gonna get beat by a golf club. Mom. I don't want that. Can I just listen to dad?
Yeah, then maybe you are more of a disciplinarian than me
I I think maybe I am that actually was because it was like flipped if I thought it would be
Yeah, I don't suffer from an addiction
I've always had you know relative like
relatively good control of like what I experimented with and I'm sort of a square anyway, so I don't I don't know
The fear of spiraling out of control like you so you probably fear that for your own son
Whereas I don't necessarily
Because I never experienced it so I get where you're coming from
Um, yeah, I I mean the thing is is that I'm just scared of the the disease
Part of it, you know, because I just feel like
It's in genetic my genetics, right? So, um
I you know once a kid is born to an alcoholic family from alcohol. I mean when their parents are an alcoholic
They still might have the gene and so inevitably they will just become an alcoholic. I don't think it's avoidable
but
I I still want
My kid to know that even if it isn't if you if you are in your addiction that there is a way out
Like I have friends in AA that their dad and moms have 50 years of sobriety in AA
So they you know, they would do their drugs and stuff, but inevitably they knew how to
Reach out and get sober. Oh, I have a really good question about that
So when you have a child and you let's say for instance someone like you you're very well aware of your addiction
Do you share that early on with your child or does it become do you have a fear that it becomes a self-fulfilling?
Prophecy for him or it's like well, my parents are addicts. So yes
I have a higher propensity so they resigned to the idea of addiction versus never telling them
And perhaps there is no self-fulfilling prophecy where they don't they don't
Automatically if life is going bad or like well, it's in my genetics. Anyways, because you know how teenagers are so full of shit
They're so hormonal. They don't necessarily like think they think that I'm just predisposed to it
So yeah, I am a fuck up, you know, you you bring your kids to meetings
You do yeah really on scared straight show them. No, no, you just no if I had a kid
And I was like hey dad, let's go have lunch. Yeah, okay, but you had to go to this meeting with me
So we sit in the A meeting right for one hour
I'll take you to wherever you want to eat lunch
If you want to go get ice cream we can get ice cream and then we go home
My point is is that you do it like as if you know, you're you tell them about the disease you say
Your father has a sickness and it's called alkalism. I know I haven't done
Drink haven't drank or done drugs in a very long time, but I have to maintain
My recovery would you be open about telling him all your monster stories?
Well, I mean not like in shoes. Yeah, I'll pick and choose. I mean, I don't know how old that person is the kid is but
You know, um, I just think that you just have to be
honest, you know
but um
Yeah, I think I would be the discipline then. Yeah, but not in terms of grades and stuff
I don't care about grades
I don't know if I care about grades so much as I they can show me that they're learning things
And they're showing some type of like real like effort and discipline
Discipline's a big thing work ethic is a big thing for me
If you have to have it you have to kind of instill that very early on you can't just get by doing nothing, bob
You can't I know I know but the thing is is this is that you should like when deepak showbro raised his kids
He said that he didn't tell them to go to princeton and the whore harvard
No, no, no, he didn't care. He doesn't say you have to get straight a's. No, he said
Help other people. Yeah, you know and become a good person
I think I think that's very important because look what happened to cho song we
Virginia jack that kid
You know had very good grades. Yeah, their parents owned a laundry mat. I believe
Yeah, he had a sister that went to nyu or something
And he cracked no he he got good grades, but he didn't have any friends
If my kid doesn't didn't have any friends at all the word and had no
Social life. Yeah at all and would talk to things that aren't there
I'm more concerned about that. Yeah, that's my biggest fear. I think my biggest fear is
Like when that kid from santa barbara, it's the kid that shut up santa barbara. Yeah, that entitled little what's his name?
Elliot Roger's
You know, his dad was white. His mom was asian. His dad's a director
Yeah, mom is I think no his dad is right and a real director
and
Now you you can see photos of the mom and dad
When they first find out about
That he had shot up all those kids. Yeah, and the photo of the mom
There's a photo of him or his asian mom
and
Her eyes are like red and teary
And there's a sense of severe shock
and horror
You can see it online. I don't ever want to have that face
Yeah, because that right there. It's it's over
Whatever my life, you know is or was it's all going to be based on that moment
That's also my biggest fear and I've actually talked to my my my doctor about this in terms of procreation
I don't I'm so afraid of raising a child with
any type of like severe mental illness because I
I don't know like I just think that would be so
Difficult
You know something like maybe I can probably tackle depression and anxiety and talk to him, you know through those stages
But when it comes to real hardcore stuff like schizophrenia
Um, do you have schizophrenia in your family? I don't have any
But we have a lot of like you have addiction. I have um
I have mental illness like depression and anxiety in my life. Yeah, but we don't have like the severe ones in your family
No, but depression is pretty bad soon. Sometimes the I don't know
I I fear that maybe our cross is going to also alcoholism though
Isn't a bad thing. I I believe
That my brother and I I can't speak for my brother. I know he feels this way
I'm glad that we have the disease
Because it taught me how to live a better life
Without me having the disease. I wouldn't know the things that I know the tools
Like living in the moment and wanting to be a better person whatever so it's like
If I was just a regular guy, I just wouldn't have the tools that I have now and I'm glad I have those tools
And so I don't think that it's a
If I had a kid with alcoholism or drug addiction
My only prayer would be so that they would you know have a spiritual awakening
You know and get
Why they need to
Get sober
But once they're in the like 12 step stages, I would just be
Delighted I think
you know, but
So no mojite clenches then don't mojite clenches
Don't mojite clench your kids guys and I'll see a photo of your girlfriend eventually
What do you what do you think about the the new west world?
He hasn't seen it yet. Oh you haven't seen it yet, but he's been talking about it
Even before you guys mentioned it. Well, I like the movie. Tell us. I don't even know. I've never seen it
Well, the movie it was a B movie and it's about a theme park and the theme park has
Robotic cowboys and cowboys in it. Yeah, and so I guess you just go and
I hadn't seen it so long but and then one of the robots goes haywire
It starts killing people. Okay
But um, when I look at the trailer for this new west world
I think there's more to it way more to it than that, but um
I just like anything sci-fi. I think that anything HBO does generally
Is good. So, um, I'm excited about it. And I also saw we also saw a great movie there
We finally saw train to train to Busan and I'm telling you right now, dude
I'm not kidding you dude
Anyone listening to this if you like the walking dead if you like
Like really good movies. This is the movie to watch great zombie. It's so good. It really is
It's only limited release, right? Yeah, korean zombies are
Fast or slow? Fast as fuck. Fuck that shit. I hate that's the worst ones. Yeah, and they're also on the turnover is even faster
They're just a scary
When asians do anything demonic
It's scarier. Yeah, like world of z was like, okay, they're fast
Yeah, like yeah, but when asians get possessed because we only like if if jessica got possessed
That would be the scariest movie I've ever made. I would literally like never see it again
Like 15 jessica's
If that movie, oh my god, 28 days later really freaked me out. Yeah one infection super fast
It's kind of similar. Yeah, um
I
Yeah, the acting was really good in it too
Really, really good. Also, there was moments of like the girl that they cast in train the pooson the little girl was very good
She was really good. Very good
And I just like the dynamic of characters in it the types of characters that weren't it were believable to me
Um, there was a businessman that was a piece of shit in it. Yeah
I really like the movie a lot and I really think that people should watch it
What do we how are we doing on time gilbert or over 50? Let's do a question. What number are we 50? Oh one hour
Let's do let's do this question on helpful advice with bobby and kalala
My name. I like that one. That's the same. Yeah, my name is myles. I'm 18
I'm meeting my girlfriend's parents next friday, but I'm black and they're white and pretty racist
Any unhelpful advice? Thank you. Well, sorry
Sorry. In a situation like that, you're carrying your whole race on your shoulders. Oh god
And whatever you do dictates, you know
Hell no. Oh, I have a complete different answer that go ahead. Just fucking let me finish bitch. Yeah, go ahead
The number one thing is this is that I dated sarah highland
Not the girl from modern family another one in comic. She's from the south
parents white
Grandparents are like
Deeper south. Okay. All school. They don't
Like ching chongs
you got railroads
but
Then I know as a survivor in relationships
The the most important thing is for the parents to like you
And I do it like when I even met jade's parents
in virginia
I her boyfriend nick rutherford's parents
I met them in oxnard any parents
I'm so good at it
I could you know, because I think it's important
It's important to have
parents like you
And so this black kid, right? I'm sorry to say it, but you're gonna have to play the game
And you're gonna have to be what they want you to be
Don't go in there going I'm gonna be myself
No
Be like my brother
a changeling
A changeling? Yeah, we're changelings. Oh, all right. So play the fake game
It's not even fake. It's just be the best guy you can be of you
Like for instance, it's like
Um, let's say you're a parent. Okay. I'm meeting you for the first time
You're george's dad
That's what he would say
Oh
Yeah, what's george's like? I'm mr. Kimmel
Yeah, hello, mr. Kimmel. I'm bobby. Uh, I work with george. Oh
I heard you blew up my son's spot up last week
Yeah, but you know, that's all the part of the podcast you told him
George you told him about the podcast
George don't get read in front of my grass
Again, I don't want to meet you. Yeah, I don't want I don't want to meet that guy
So it's gonna fuck it. Fuck what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. What is your way of handling this glila?
If they're racist, you can do nothing, right?
So just go in there as yourself whether you're perfect whether you show up as the most subservient
Fucking butler if you show up as fuck if you came down as jesus himself and showed yourself in a black man's body
That's not it's it's not they're fucking racist. Let's go. That's not true. You're listen to me. That's not true
That's not true. It's not gonna change their mind. It is
It is
Because when I went to the south
Right, the grandmother was sitting there, right knitting
Okay, I knew that there was you know, there could have been a thing like she just a good feel the energy. Yeah tension, right?
And I go, oh, it's a beautiful grand piano you have it was at her grandma's house
Yeah, nobody plays it. No one in the family plays boom
Boom
Gotcha thing, right? May I try your parents?
Well, I don't even know if it works or not and I go, let me crack crack and then I just played a little tune
Wow, it's wonderful. I go. Yeah, my parents we had a grand piano at home growing up and uh,
You know, they're really strict, you know, my parents said they made me take you know, you you
You find ways into their fucking heart. Yes, of course. That's not what I'm saying
What I'm saying is go in there. Be good. Be kind. Be respectful because those are her parents
You do want but don't go out of your way like let's suppose they come in
He goes in there and they start making like underhanded comments about black people. Yeah, I don't think that he should sit there and take it
I don't think that you sit there and you're like, yeah, you know, my people are bad like no, you don't do that
You stand your ground. No, no, keep your head up high when I first went to Sarah's house
Listen, when I first went to Sarah's house, she goes, you know, there's gonna be a big dinner
With my brothers their kids my grandparents a bunch of neighborhood people
This is in Louisville, Kentucky. Jesus and then I she goes, well, let's go get coffee
I went to get coffee and came back and I walk into the living room. I'm not kidding you
The whole place is
They have land Asian lanterns
They put up bamboo
Wait, what?
Yeah, and everybody was wearing kimonos
Okay, now you're joking. I'm not kidding you. No, you're joking. No, kimonos. Yeah
And then they had me to wear this kid pokemon t-shirt. Yeah, so I put it on and everyone was at the dinner table with chopsticks
And we're all laughing. Yeah, like crazy. Oh, all right. So it's a joke, right? Yeah, right? But it's kind of it's really funny
But that's sweet. No, but no, but there's I could be right two different kinds of Asian guys
Number one, this is hilarious. I love the sense of humor or god damn it. This is offensive
Right and I could have had a bad attitude about it right and said, you know, I mean take the you know, whatever it might be
Right, but it's how you deal with each situation. No, I get what you're saying, but I don't think you do. Yes, I do
I I know my my friend Elliott same thing happened to him loved his girlfriend of four years
But never met the parents because the parents were just really not not this the types of races that you sway
They were from the south. They were just fucking racist. It didn't matter what you told them
They were going to stick to their guns about how they felt about black people and Elliott was not only a fucking
Super stud football player at Texas. But he was
Really well-spoken kind just a fucking lovable dude, right? And even in her mind, she just couldn't
She couldn't bring him home. They were that they couldn't be swayed. So in your case, it's a little bit different because I feel like you
I feel like her family probably isn't racist Bobby
She might have had family members that had a little archaic
Thinking what I'm saying is this though. Okay is if I meet
Let's say you're white
Okay, and you say, yeah, my parents
Are racist in fact, they're affiliated with
You know the clan. Yeah
So which means I there's no way I could probably sway them
It's not I shouldn't be dating you
Yeah
I don't want that in my life in any kind of way. Yeah
And so if this black guys
Their parents are like that
Then get out of the relationship. My guess is because she's bringing him home that she probably argue against that
Just like the person because of their parents. Yeah, they can't control their parents
You're right, George. But I my guess is this
You're right, George, but I my guess is this the sons of the sons of sons. What are you the Old Testament Jehovah?
Oh, baby. He's coming to attack you. Yeah, you do do that
He's you kill the sons. Oh, yeah, you do do that. Look, my guess is this for this kid. You you know, stop
Stop for a second. You just made me very angry. Okay
It's just that
If you have
A jihadist
right
And he's married to a female. That's a jihadist
al-qaeda
And they have a kid
Generally that kid is going to become a jihadist
What's your point my point is is this is is that
You you know what you breed and it's it's like, you know
You are what your environment is
All right, I've never seen I bet you money in the history of
Like a jihadist a kid doesn't grow up and goes, you know what? I want to be a Mormon
That's never happened
You think that's happened. That's exactly what happened to george. What do you mean? He's not more. Yeah
He he grew up a very religious family. He grew up seven-day eventus. Yeah, and he's exactly pretty opposite of that
He's not he's pretty he still has seven-day eventus his mentality. I know but there isn't like his
He likes gary johnson and weird stuff like that that all stuff
I don't know what it all means, but it's a part of that whole fucking weird shit. He grew up with all right back to this kid's question
What was that crazy person my guess is if she's bringing him home
If she's bringing him home, she must know that they're not like the super racist types
Yeah, but they're they're they're probably you could convince them that okay, you know, they're probably not
As racist as
Others, you know, yeah, yeah, I think that's all we have for this week guys. Bobby has his headphones off
So you have two options miles. That's that's your options. Bobby's wear clothes away. Uh, what shows do you have?
um, Bobby will be at Port Helium in Portland
Um, October 13th through the 15th and the following weekend. He will be at punchline san francisco
And um, those are all the dates I have for right now. I do want to um, where's that artwork? Bobby talk about it
How amazing is that? George actually commissioned that. Yeah
Shout out to george kimmel. He's in the room. Um, we just got a poster
A commissioned poster. Who's the um artist george?
Uh, Richard Coolewick Richard Coolewick. How do you spell his last name?
Oh cool. Is he from um, the net um, sweden or norway?
Holland it is
A fucking masterpiece. Wow. It's beautiful. It's fucking beautiful. We just received artwork from Richard Coolewick
I love it so much at our that's what i'm talking about
This is amazing. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.
Amazing stuff. This is fucking amazing. Amazing stuff. Maybe can we, um somehow will he allow us to post it on our instagram?
This is pretty fucking badass
It's amazing. Yeah, good, good stuff, and i look at the look at the printout of eskimo fuckers. I love that, too
That's a good one. I love it
The colors just make me so happy
Charlie's still in it. It's interesting how she
Okay, who's that my brother? Okay, so this is your brother. I know I know you know quorum George
You know, this is your brother right here. That's Steve. Um, this is Gilbert
Make it Gilbert. That's Asa and
Eric Griffin is
A mushroom. Oh my god, it's so fucking funny and that's you and then George's nutsack is on clouds head. Oh my god
You're sitting on my head George
It's amazing pretty good artwork
You can follow us or an amious anything you want to say us to the live podcast people that came
Oh, yeah
Thank you guys so much for being super cool super chill and just you know for spending time with us
That was really that was really um, we'll do it again hit me in the heart. We'll do it again
Yeah, that was really nice you guys and thank you for all the gifts still trying to finish some of the mangoes. Yeah
Yeah, you had a lot of gifts. That was really nice. All right guys. That's all we have for this week any other announcements Gilbert
Passed at George anything George. How are we on iTunes charts? Are we almost at 500? Did you guys do it?
We're trying to reach 500 reviews
We go up and down goes up and down. We're still in the top 150. Don't worry. Yeah. Oh, you care now
God so he cares after all about the charts
Secretly cares follow us on Instagram at tiger belly or on Twitter at the tiger belly
And you can also email us any questions for unhelpful advice or just questions in general or just words of whatever
You can do that at the tiger belly at gmail.com. You can follow Kalyla at calamity K on all forms of social media
And you can follow George and give him his support and defend him against Bobby's ridiculous wrath
George Kimmel under George on the course Kimmel or the voting best tweets one of those and follow Donald Trump at Gilbert's
All right. Bye. See you guys. Oh
Hey
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