TigerBelly - Episode 68: Ballpark Six

Episode Date: November 23, 2016

Bobo finally achieves a goal. Khaloko has resentments. Gilbo has a secret patch on the left. Bryce makes his debut. We talk insecurities, abominations, and the deep purple.   Recorded November 21, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube.com/tigerbelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music. Download the app today Hey I Four three two hell Trump hell Trump hell Trump I don't know why we started that way interesting. Well, no what happened was Richard Spencer, you know that he's the new he's a part of the alt-right a new white nationalist group He's kind of cute. So I'll give a speech. Yeah, and he did a speech at the Italian restaurant Maggiano's You know, which I'm so offended because they it's not Italian food

Okay, and also on his name is Richard Spencer and then they said hail Trump hail Trump and then they all did the The the German the Nazi Nazi salute like that Which is I've always wanted to do that to people just because you know, you want to go hi But you can't do that now because he ruined it You're like that hand gesture this hand gesture. Yeah, you can't do that anymore like you want to it's like an organic thing That you want to do like what's up? You know, I'm really going to reach out like that But you can't do that now because look at me price You can't do that right now because Hitler ruined it. Okay, so

Ruin the swastika because the original meaning of a swastika is very beautiful. He also ruined that moustache But you really that's a cool look, right? That's a good look. I you guys I know I know it's been a tough couple weeks, but I want to start with a I like warm fuzzies And I like inspirational coats quotes coats. I like inspirational quotes. I like coats to him and What do we call this if I do a quote? How about warm fuzzies for the heart warm fuzzies for the heart with Bobby Lee? Yes? Thank you so much. And this is our warm fuzzies from the heart It's called darkness is good

Darkness is good dick Cheney Darth Vader Satan. That's power It only helps us when they get it wrong when they're blind to who we are and what we're doing and that's from Steve Bannon So that feels good That feel good warm fuzzies from the heart. You know what that little smirky did with your fucking mouth price, right? Was You were enabling that comment. I just made I I feel like it spoke to you. Did I speak to you? Yeah, okay. All right What the fuck's George? No, George George is in Michigan. Look at me right now. Where's George?

Michigan, okay, that's fine. So I received a curious text from your brother about 20 minutes ago Oh, can I tell you where he is first before you get into whatever you're gonna say, right? So you okay? So my brother my brother is in Phoenix because my dad Had a minor stroke last week and has pneumonia has pneumonia and he's going into dementia We don't know if it's from the meds. I don't know, but he was saying what time What time will you open the store? To my parents my mom and my brother that we haven't had a business in years. No, you're gonna do inventory which is very

Disturbing but um, so go ahead my brother's in Phoenix to take care of my dad Yeah, and he sent me this picture. Let me see Okay, you described to the audience it's it's a very cute blue-eyed boy holding and Hugging Bobby from the back. Oh friends. Yeah. Yeah, well text me ask Bobby who this guy really is and if you guys okay How old am I in that photo do you think? You're about 12. Yeah, 11 and then just let me stop. Okay, okay So if you're a listener of pot Tiger Valley, I Growing up sucked a couple of penises

I sucked Six We decided on six. Yeah, we said six was probably right around the ballpark ballpark six ballpark ballpark six and some of them were kids I used to hang out with And we're not gay We're Creative and crafty and also experimental. Hmm. So he gave me if so he sent a photo of a kid Yeah, I sucked his penis. Yes, and then he said what's the next photo? Let me look the next photo is

This okay, it's the same kid. It's the same kid with bent over with his ass Spread and I'm pretty sure you took this picture Bobby. I did take the photo I remember that photo and then I wrote back. Oh my god and Steve said you thought I was joking They made love so much Twice And then he sends another picture of you and the same boy. Yeah in cowboy hats and farmers gears Farmer gear and he said, you know what happened in the dressing room. Okay, so your brother's just been sending me We'll give you this good taste in white boys. Thank you. Look at a blue. Thank you little baby. Yeah, do you see his ass?

Look at his ass He was 12 and then you have a photo of his ass Now that I think about it because I didn't think about it from like a I this is wrong that I have this photo. Yeah, I know it's on your phone. Why because this person It's not if I wait if I took the photo yesterday. Oh, definitely. Yes, it's wrong Sweetie, I have kid but when you're 11 and you take a photo of another 11 year olds asshole That's not fucking pedophilia. No, that's friendship. I know but I'm an adult Looking at a picture of a kid's asshole. This is for sure kiddie porn and the FBI is gonna come

Yeah, start repeating it but yes that guy I already told you that love not it's not making love We didn't kiss no now in the mouth. No, I'm not gay It's just like a dick. Just like a dick Penis never kiss. What is the problem here? You guys have changed since Trump became elected president You guys used to be like, you know, hippie Broadway and hippie and just free and now you guys are a judgmental You're pointing at me. I should be electrocuted. Is that what the deal is? You know me that you're gonna pence out on me, bro. Pence. You're gonna pence out on leave Bryce alone. All right, Bryce you bastard What?

You're not on the hot seat you yeah, well cuz George is not here and Actually, can you go to the mic real quick? I just want to This is his debut by the way, this is Bryce everybody Sit down Bryce sit down you're not gonna a couple questions a couple questions for you So Bryce you were telling me you're a part of that seven. What's the religion that you're from? a Seventh-day Adventist Seventh-day Adventist. Yeah, and so You were telling me that it's a strict religion. Correct. It's yeah, there's definitely a right wing in there And I'd say both Adventists though are somewhat liberal now, but there's only conservatives. Let me ask you something right now

So if you were let's suppose my dad was a seventh-day Adventist Adventist Adventist. I've never heard of it before so I don't even know a lot of Filipinos are seven-day Adventists Yeah, yeah, and so what's considered rebellious if I drink coke like a beverage. It's not good. That's not good What's worse that or me sucking a dick? dick Dick is alright. I'm just throwing it out there. I don't know. I don't know anything about the religion Homosexuality and abomination. It's abomination. It is coming more acceptable California some places, but for the most part most Adventists No, it's not well if I okay smoking pot. Is that wrong? That's wrong. Drugs are all wrong sucking dick. What's worse?

That dick is worse. Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna go more. Oh Okay, but you're not a practicing Seventh-day guy. No, I mean, I still feel part of the culture because it's very my entire family my parents my grandparents George great-grandparents great-great-grandparents. So it's our family who yards. Yeah, it's hard to separate those two and But your parents don't support your lifestyle They would rather not live in LA and work in the industry. Yeah, right. So what does your mom know about you? She She with the bad stuff

She knows I drink but she doesn't know that I drink every weekend and party with friends and things like that So it's one of those things that you smoke pot Bryce. She she's aware She does not know that have you done shrooms. Oh, yeah for sure. Okay this last weekend I was just in Joshua. All right. So did you have you done cocaine? Yeah, you've done cocaine all right, so And you were telling me that you fucked 10 women. Yeah, so No Premarital sex and abomination. That's not good. It's you're not going to hell for it

Yeah, I'm just don't believe it. Let me ask you this is all that stuff combined work is sucking dick worse Are you trying to join this religion? Wait, hold on, but you guys no one goes to hell. No, I've just do not believe in hell So what is the repercussion of sucking dick? You don't get to go to heaven. Oh, so where do you stay? So the thing is Adventist is weird because it's most things where if you have forgiveness, then you're good. And so Yeah, basically, yeah, it's just I do if you're actively doing over and over again You're not repentant of it and you're in trouble then that's where my question to you and you Christians is this Okay, so they believe that it no matter what I do in my life as long as by the end of my life

I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior that I get to go to heaven regardless of what my behavior was on planet Earth. Oh, yeah, so Technically have I talked about this about Jeffrey Dahmer? We've talked about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So that so Jeffrey Dahmer if at the end of his life, he accepted Jesus Christ He'd be in yeah, yeah, that's that applies to all religions even Catholicism It's just you confess you'd get a priest right and you know on your deathbed and all the same rules apply I think do you believe that Bryce? Yeah, for sure. You believe in it I think that that's something you need to if you generally repent about it. I mean, that's that's what matters And so let me ask you spend time in prison like you sell to pay for your crimes and things like that

So you believe in your heart that if I don't accept Jesus Christ and my this is my Lord and Savior that I'm going to hell No, I don't know. Look at me. Look at me. I Gotcha. All right, ask again. Okay, so good look at my eyes Do you believe? That because I suck this kid's dick and five others some family. Don't look at the I Don't have that we don't erase it. I'm gonna erase it. I don't erase it. It's funny Hey, I'm worried. It's just fun to have

What oh you think I'm gonna go to my room and jerk off to that All right, so Do you believe you look at me do you think you think I'm going to hell? No, I don't think thank you. That's really nice Thank you. I'm a very forgiving open person. So I don't I don't buy into that good Yeah, it's a it's a you know, I I wasn't raised with that and I just let me finish I wasn't raised with it and many times in my life. I'll be driving on the street and I'll think am I going to hell I Will really think that like what are they right?

But then I like I come home and I watch like olders for youngers or whatever It's there is something to be said though About how Bryce and George are they're gentle. They're accommodating. They really are genuine. They're kind They you guys have a very just overall goodness about you And I think that that has to be attributed to a close-knit community even if it comes in the form of religion You know, and I think there is something to be said about growing up, you know No matter like of what faith but of a faith. You're my connection to rural America Let's listen. I don't I don't know rural you're your conduit. You're the closest

That I've ever met in terms of rural you're from country Correct. Yeah, the country. I grew up in the country on a farm. Exactly. Right. You grew up in a farm. Yeah, right? You raised chickens now. Yeah, correct still do right? You're pasty white Yeah, yeah, you're pasty white. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, so, um You're my connection To the middle of America and so that's why I like you. That's why I ask you questions Even for the podcast I asked him a bunch of questions about his life because I he's my connection to it and I want to learn

He was grilling me. It was really tough. I was sweating. He was sweating. Yeah. Yeah, we're here by ourselves And I was just grilling him with questions, but um But I believe I believe that you're a good dude and I believe that you and George have really good work ethic You guys really do you guys really have helped out this podcast immensely. Yeah, we appreciate that. Yeah, and I don't trust you I accept that. Yeah, okay. Good. I don't trust you Because you come in here with your little smirky smirk. I smirk a lot. I know and you that little There's something going on with your eyes No, really when he lasts his eyes, you know how the they have white people get the crow's feet

But inside there's a fucking there's mischief and Mystery going on and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. See what he's doing right there. He's gonna hear Bobby It's called the Clint Eastwood. Look, he's doing the Clint Eastwood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see what he does like that He squints it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You squint, babe. I know because I was born that way I know asking you to squint squint for me. That's close. That's closing my eyes. I'll close my eyes So, um, so George is in Michigan right now with his family. That's a story. Yeah, that is where he's sticking to it That's he's sticking to it and um Good

Good. Thank you, Bryce. Thank you for that interview Thank you. It's a weird religion, but it's fine. I'm speaking of little boy little naked boys This past Saturday was um A big day for you. It was national molestation day And I hope that you received a lot of messages and a lot of support None from none of the tiger belly fans. No, because I don't get the tiger belly Feeds for my twitter, you know, or I don't look at the instagram. That's your guys's thing

And I should but I didn't so if you guys want to um, send me um, what would you like? Just, you know, my own Instagram and twitter would be nice. So they say they say nmd. Yeah nmd bobby balloon little balloon in modicon Yeah, but it was national molestation day and I hope you enjoyed it. Um It's so weird that like my brother would send me those photos of that kid, but um Well, you weren't molested by that kid Well, um, that's not true. You guys were the same age. It's not molestation. I know, but I can't just say this It's just hyper sexuality. He was the cool kid. Yeah, he was the cool kid in school

And so he would literally and Usually when I did gay stuff, it was when I was drunk With him, he would just grow up the back of my head Yeah, and just go suck it like that. It was rough. Yeah, it was rough. You could tell by the pic We don't have pictures. Yeah, you could tell and then later he got in the car Uh motorcycle accident. Don't don't give specifics now Well, I'm just I'm just saying is he alive? He's alive. Oh, thank god, but you know what happened You know what happened what he got in a motorcycle accident and it ripped half his dick off. No

That's a lie. It's not lie and guess who did that? You didn't do that with my mind you just I believe I did with my mind. Wow. Yeah Yeah, but anyway, um, I haven't seen him yet, but your brother said you guys got it on all the time I could say stuff about my brother right now that he told me Listen, just know the list. I'll stop Tiger belly fans Listen to me right now. I love my brother dearly But when I started this podcast, he pulled me aside and he goes, dude, you can't talk about this

You can't talk about this. It was a list of 30 things Okay, so I could put my brother on blast right now and I can't fucking believe that he would send photos like that To me to you. I love him. I know I love him too. I mean, no, we don't I don't love the photos, but I love it's funny to me. Yeah, it's funny to me. It's but there's a line Yeah, okay, so I'm not talking about that anymore. Okay, everyone that listens knows that that happened. All right I want to talk about positive shit And the next positive thing I want to fucking bring up Is something that we saw last night. Oh, yes

We saw the movie the arriving arrival. You already fucked it up. Oh, what's it called? Can't even know the fucking title. What's called the arrival the arrival the arrival. Oh my god, my jerry. What'd I say? What I say the arriving. No, I didn't you said the arriving. Oh, whatever. They arrived That is true. They did that regardless if you're arriving or they did They're arriving. They're coming. They're coming. Amy Adams, Jeremy. Let me see something right now. I did not want to go For what reason? I don't know. I just didn't want to go and because mainly because my brother said it was a masterpiece Last week, my brother was on tour and he texted me. You got to watch the arrival. It's a masterpiece And the things that he calls masterpieces are weird like

Like the movie that he did. Mission to Mars. It was a movie called Mission but he called it a masterpiece a piece of shit But um, we saw it and you know, half we're doing the movie. I'm like, this is pretty good It's well paced what I love to sound design Also, they made some very strong choices about the aliens depicting the aliens and they made them like very Something that we've never seen before in movies and um, I thought I was really didn't have an opinion about Amy Adams, but by watching her in this movie. I'm like, wow She's this bitch can fucking act her ass off Oscar. Oh, yeah for sure for sure Oh, yeah, and then about 70 percent into 80 percent into the movie

I just found myself weeping. Yeah Oh, it's the last I'd say the last 20 minutes of the movie all you heard That was an alien I look and he's not just teary-eyed. I mean his body is like convulsing. Yeah, it really got to me. It made me so It made me cry But and it and it and in the part that I was crying at wasn't even sad It wasn't yeah, like I started crying when I it wasn't and then when it got sad I admit it you only started crying when I leaned over and whispered in your ear

And made you realize the twist of the movie. No, you wouldn't even understand it I know. I know. No. No. No. Here's what happened. I was crying before that But about the Chinese dude. Yeah, okay. I don't know why yeah, but that Chinese dude made me cry That scene was pretty emotional. Yeah, it made me cry and then And then when you told me what it was Right Then I had to think about it. Yeah, so I didn't cry right away I didn't really understand what you were saying. You were just saying if you haven't seen the movie

That's why I'm not I'm being very vague right now But there's a point in the movie where there's a little bit of a kind of a switch It's a big realization right realization big switch. It's a big switch. So when she told me I go And I thought about it and then when it clicked I just started crying like that And then your your sister cried. Oh, we were all crying. I think but no no stop Renzo didn't cry I mean is a cop doesn't matter And because he didn't cry. I like the guy. In fact, I will say I love him

But there's a little bit of a thing now. What's a little thing because a man didn't cry He thought he loved the movie. No, but still there's a little bit of a thing like something is off You gotta cry If I'm crying you gotta you gotta cry and also your mom didn't cry Look at my mom didn't understand Yeah, she didn't understand That's what she said Darling it looks like

Yeah, um I thought that it was So brilliant this movie and if you're going into it looking for a huge action movie You're gonna be like it's not you're gonna be disappointed But there's so much more to it. It reminds me of 2001 space Odyssey the Kubrick film because of the fact that it's um Um, there's just symbolism, you know, like the you know, the spaceship kind of looks like the monolith in 2001, right and um There is you know in 2001 there is a sense of time

Which is a time is a very big thing. Yeah in this movie and um, it was just well made and um And it was and also eric riffin today said yeah, he loved it because him and I disagree about everything Yeah, he didn't like the witch He didn't like the witch but he said, you know that he gave props to it So it was just a really I haven't seen a movie like that in many many years I really enjoyed it. It was well done and congrats to anyone involved in that And a chink wrote it Yeah, yeah

A chinese guy, I mean You're a little chinky yourself. I'm very chinky. Yeah, you know, I and um, I also want to say That when I was at the passage, you know, I have high ice house this weekend. Mm-hmm A lot of tiger belly fans And I'm beginning to think um that maybe this is all I want to do now This maybe retire from stand-up. No, I wanted to stand up but there is a sense of

A connection that you have with people that listen to this that I have and I don't have with other people That are fans, you know, there is a bigger said they're more dedicated. Yeah, it's crazy dedicated fan base Like there's that one dude. I forgot his name. I like him a lot. He's like kind of an older He looks Puerto Rican or whatever And he comes in he just when he sees me he just smiles and I know that face because he saw I saw him at a different show And I I just it's almost as if they're a kind of family in a weird way I don't know. I'm maybe I'm being sentimental because Of the whole hail trump shit that's going on and Steve Bannon and all that stuff that's going on in

in politics and that that all all that other stuff is um Wow mit my romney is a real fucking coward. Is he not? He does mit romney this piece of definition of politics. No, that's all stab each other in the back and then let's all hug it out later Six months ago does he He does a speech condemning trump out of his he goes out of his way Right saying this is bad for the republican party yada yada yada And now he's meeting with fucking trump, you know And poor chris christie and poor rudy juliani. Oh my god

These guys stick their right or die Stuck they stick their neck out for this guy for a year You know putting their reputations on the line And they just I don't think they're gonna get what they think they're gonna get And I love it. It's pretty fun to watch. Yeah. I love watching them suffer. Yeah, especially that juliani golem He debated really hard. My mom's like read something really weird about rudy juliani What do you say? She looks like an octopus not octopus, but she was funny. Darling. I look. Thank you, sir. Thank you

Every time I look at his face. I want to shut the fuck up man Yeah, what do you say she goes every time I look at his face. I want to pull his teeth out Yeah, she did say that weird. They're at dinner. She said that. Yeah, I don't know if that's because you want to torture him She goes, no, there's something about his face that makes me want to pull his teeth out. I'm like, that's weird to say mom teeth Well, why would you pull it out? Then he just let it fall. No, he just he just looks like he has fragile teeth That he's in pain all the time. Yeah, because during that one, um dinner where they're making jokes What was it the um correspondence or it wasn't the correspondence one. It was the one right right before Yeah, it's the last one the last one you see Giuliani in the audience and he's not laughing

He looks like his teeth are in pain. He looks a little curmudgeonly. Yeah. Oh his bottom teeth Yeah, but yeah, exactly And also before I forget I have to do this, baby. I'm so sorry. Okay Okay, then Anyone following me and my destiny voyage knows that I've never been to the lighthouse. I did friday I went to the lightouts friday on trozacus virus and this kid hyphics H-y-i-k-z. He named is brett. He's from vin coover And him and this kid named cool kid

Brought me to the lighthouse and it was everything that I dreamed of What did you get? I got um an ornament for my arms And then a couple of like a banner and so like I got like a head piece or something and then um want more. Can you go back? I need to go back. We tried yesterday but it didn't work out. I have a question. So like do you do your other friends that you were playing with like Danny Garcia since they didn't take you to the lighthouse like do they feel a little betrayal from you? No because

they went to the lighthouse today and um twice already. But they don't have that they they can't it's not. I'm so terrible that I can't it's basically it's three versus three but when you're playing with me it's two versus three. Oh two v three. Because I'm terrible. I'm shooting into the sky. I'm running in circles. You get really bad. I don't I can't there's some matches where I don't see anybody. Like I'm just dead. Yeah. I don't know what happened you know and they go you know yeah you were running in circles and then they stabbed you in the neck and then you're like oh I didn't see anybody. That's how I died. I'm absolutely terrible but this guy Highfix was the best player I'd ever seen in my fucking life and so I'm giving this a shout out. I did give him

I donated to his um Twitch channel though. How much? $100. Oh it's pretty good. You stuck to your promise. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And then um but I said I'm gonna give him 50 from now on. Each time. Yeah. It's a pretty good deal. You know and anyone listening right now the same deal goes out to you. If you want if let me listen to me right now Bryce and everybody in the room and I know people don't play Destiny and you don't give a fuck or whatever but what I'm saying to you is anyone listening I'll give you 50 bucks to take me to the fucking lighthouse PayPal let's Venmo it however you want to do it but that's how and if this is the mic this is when I get enough pieces I'm going to quit the game. Oh damn. Because then I'll have everything and I'll be bored. Oh baby. I wish that

you had gotten to the lighthouse a long time ago. Why is it driving you crazy? No but then you know you had promised before that you weren't going to scream anymore because it was causing me a lot of anxiety um so lately you've been really up in um your your screams again. That's not true. Okay. I make a point to to do silent yells. Like you know what I mean like keep it inside. I might get a stroke or something but um yeah I've been making the point to do that. What's wrong? No that's why you look at me like that. You look at pain when you're screaming. You know I do. I like yeah but um. What's up with you Gilbert? Not much. What do you mean? Why would you. God you're so not open. We need to grill this guy sweetie. You can grill me. Yeah I mean

you can talk about my eggs and what you want. Here's the thing with you Gilbert is the last couple of months you've been coming on this podcast. You haven't been talking about Munch. You come in. You came in with a bunch of packages today. You did. You came in with a bunch of packages. You don't really say hi. I said what's up man. What time I said hi to you. You pushed me on the ground one time. Yeah because the timing was wrong but you come in. What? Yeah the timing was wrong. Hey what's up Bobby. Whoa what the fuck. Why am I on the ground. You should have done it then. Okay. Um but you come in. We don't know anything about what's going on in your life. So you're in an ABC showcase. Uh CBS. Well here's why I didn't want to tell you first because they were cutting

people left and right and I didn't want to announce that I was in it and then get cut because they cut a bunch of people. Are you still in it. I made it over the Thanksgiving so if I don't get cut tomorrow I'm safe till January. So you're in the CBS. Diversity Showcase. Diversity Showcase. And you ran into Esther Koo there. Esther Koo uh yeah she was there. She knew a couple of people and she was trying to see if she wanted to be a writer for the showcase. The showcase okay. And then um is there something. Jesus was there too. Trejo was there. My boy Jesus. Take it over. Oh man. Jesus. Is there something that I can go and watch. You can actually come to probably speak. Speak. I want to speak on one. Because like cast and directors, managers,

agents come before the actual during rehearsals. I want to speak. You should speak. No seriously. Rick Nihara is director. Oh yeah tell Rick. Bobby wants to speak. Seriously. Yeah. Don't make promises he can't keep. He's not going to show up. They're going to sell it. I am coming. Everyone come to rehearsal. I will go. If we tape it. Can we tape it? I don't think they tape it. No we can sneak in a thing. We can't say on air. We're sneaking in a camera. Yeah we're not doing that. Yeah. Yeah. But I want to do. Will you set that up? Yeah. Yeah. Can I plug something real quick? Yeah plug it. Do you mind? No. This is gonna be great. What are you plugging? Just listen to relax. So what I'm plugging now is.

The one I'm plugging now is this which is. Where is it? Where is it? The show. Look at his thumbs. What do you mean my thumbs? You look so disgusting. Because they're disgusting. My thumbs. Baby why do you date me then? Oh here it is. Your other fingers are pretty good. January 7th and 8th 2017 Comedy Theory class. Oh I already did. So sign up. San Diego at the Young Actors Theater. Why are you plugging his shit man come on. And then Monday I'm gonna be at the um at the um. I'm sorry but what I said about your thumbs. I'm dating you for the other eight fingers you have which are pretty good and solid. No I know people used to make fun of my thumbs all the time man. Well you do that to your thumbs.

No they were born. I was born like this. No they weren't born all chewed up like that. No but look how see how this one's bigger than this one. Okay this is asymmetrical which is fine. Why is that that way? That's genetics. Wait hold on which one is bigger your right or your left? This is bigger than. Look at how much bigger it is. They're deformed. With the nail or the thumb. The thumb. Yeah but that's okay you don't have to be symmetrical to be able to function well. Yeah but your fingers are normal. Are you kidding me? I have a broken finger here. Yeah but that one is yeah. Like my one leg my right leg is a little bit taller. Bryce do you have any deformities on your body? No don't do that. Do you have one like you have like a mole or a wart on your. Oh yeah we

should. It's the one thing you're most insecure about. Your nose okay. You're insecure about you looking in the mirror you go oh I hate that. I was saying the thing that Bobby called out one time when I like mooned you guys on here he's like or I moved him off camera and he was like babe he was like I gotta talk about it so I mooned you here he called out the patch of hair I just had on my left butt cheek. There's no there's no hair on my butt cheek. No not at all it's no it's like probably 70 hairs. May I see it again? I'm gonna show I have to. Yeah yeah yeah yeah let me see it again. Can I see it I never saw it. Yeah let me see it but don't I can't see it. I have to feel it for it. What the shit let me see the whole thing. Oh oh my god you have a little tuft of hair there. Also

you have like spina bifidas they have a little tuft of hair. I don't know what that I shave it it's the only part that grows back. Your ass is so flat. No it's not. No it's not. I just saw it with that. It is. It's bigger way bigger than yours. But can I just say something? Yeah his cheeks. It's the way your hands are. His cheeks are white but then when it gets to the fucking dark at areas it's too dark. Oh we get dark. So it looks like the Abyss. But that's the Filipino like you know I hate it. We have the deep purple. I hate it. It's like pale and then also just dark. Yours gets dark probably. Have you not seen my asshole it's pretty dark. Let me see your asshole. No I'm not. Let me see the other. No what am I I want to show your mind. Okay show me yours.

Babe we're going low brow again. I don't give a fuck. We're going low. What about this? Why is it your butt cheeks are really tight. They're really tight. So nice. I mean we're like really like out of the three of us we probably have the best butt. I told you. Oh my god. I told you. Mine I yours might be a little bit. Oh yours might be a little darker than mine. Yeah yeah but was there a poop in there or anything like that. No. No just hair. It was hard to spread. There's so tight. I was like you're like yanking his ass cheeks. Mine are known to be very tight. Yeah. Oh yeah we've talked about this. He cries. When I poop it looks like angel hair pasta. That's so fucking tight man. It's so tight. It's like you know my poop really is stringy. It's like

it's a spaghetti. That's you might have a small bowel obstruction sweetie. Is that bad? No that's good. No do you know why and I'm going to tell you why because when you poop I know we're going lowbrow today but it doesn't matter. It's a science. We're talking about science right now okay. Is that when I poop I make it make sure that I don't do long shits. I don't like it when it's like completely one chunk. Yeah. I like to clench. So I clench halfway during it. You'd like to break it. I like to break it apart. Into segments. Yeah. Okay so what are you and be real. What is the one thing growing up or to this day that you're you're slightly I know you're a very you love your body and you're very confident but there has to be something that you're insecure about. I used to

be insecure about every single thing about my face and my body. I really was. I hated myself. Growing up I used to as a kid look in the mirror and go because you know I mean when you're a kid in Minnesota because when I was in you know elementary school I went to a diner in Minnesota I lived in and there was all white kids and you would go home and you look and you go oh I'm different you know and then I went to my fifth year fifth grade I went to painted rock elementary school which was in San Diego and then you saw like Filipinos my cousin Andy was going to paint a rock too and other kids that were like more brown and stuff and then you kind of went oh but I didn't like myself until my I was 23 oh at 23 I just thought oh it's cool because it looked

different you know and I am different and it helped me with comedy. I don't believe that I would have made it or gotten far in it if I was a white guy. Yeah but also imagine growing up in a sea of other Koreans you would have not felt very special either like if you were born and raised in Korea and you look around you're like wow everybody fucking looks like me. Yeah that would have been tough too but I mean I maybe I would have felt normal as a kid in Korea and then as I got a little around I wish I was different but the reverse happened here where I went oh it's cool to be different. But what are you insecure about today aside from that giant pimple on your face you don't even care about that pimple. You do care about your adult acne. No I only care about the pain.

Because they always go around his nose. Like the pain the one that's right below the nostril. Or even in. Oh my god that's the worst. Why do these ones hurt so bad. It's like ISIS that's what I call it. It's like a little an ISIS camp right here. It's like this is a lepo. I call it the little a lepo. Zero insecurities then. No because when you look like I do you realize oh I know what I in terms of women what I can get what I can't get right. And as a I'm kind of a terrible person so in terms of friends and stuff I don't really have a lot of friends. I mean we talked about it yesterday. I don't really have a lot of friends. It's not that I'm a bad person it's just that I'm just private and I don't like to do things. It's so weird how you say you you are

private but it's such a contrast to how you are on a podcast or how you are when you do speak to people it's like you're so open but when you actually live your life you know it is a very small circle. Okay so when I'm at a comedy club and I see fans I'll hug people I'll take photos and I can talk to people you know because I'm being especially tiger belly fans I don't generally do it with other people but with tiger belly fans I want to because I feel like they know me because of this podcast and whatnot but it's like in my private life I don't today I'm just gonna read you I'm not this is not I'm not lying this is the texts I'm gonna read you the texts I got today okay so let's start with um Eric Griffin at 2 41 p.m. he says you Korean fuckface just that's it

out of the blue out of the blue so you know that's nice so you know that's good and then at 3 25 p.m Christelia just sends me this random photo of us together about 10 years ago 12 years ago you know me so we were younger right I don't know what the fuck he wants me to respond with like wow we've known each other for so long yeah but no response yeah I'll give a fuck okay yeah and then um it goes to this kid hey it's Brett hi-fiq this is my number I go thanks for your help no worries and then I go did you get the money he goes yeah thanks a lot I got 50 bucks from now on because absolutely anytime so those are the kind of interactions interactions I have I don't have like how are you what's going on with you and your feelings I care but I don't have those kind of

things I don't have any friends you know I kind of had a falling out with Charlie do you care to explain to fight once no it makes me cry it'll make me cry yeah I don't want to talk about it because I don't want him I don't want to even have the conversation with him if it's a sensitive assumption I don't I don't even want him to call me and go let's talk about it because I'm just kind of just right now there's a thing you know and um other than that I really don't have any friends well you have us I know but and we will never I know I will never let you down will you have never so many times baby so I fucking feed you I bathe you I wipe your ass practically well I mean you let me down the other day why because I wanted I didn't want you to play video

games on a Tuesday no um I'll tell the story I wasn't gonna do it but um so I go hey me and um I'm gonna run Gobi downstairs okay yeah so um I what I what happens I go down to the garage and you know I live in a condominium so there's a garage for everybody and so I closed the door and I realized that I don't have any keys or a cell phone on me so I go you know what I'll just run him your client will come down so I run Gobi for about 30 minutes with this tennis ball we go back and forth I give him treats and then I couldn't open the door we were down there for hours it was so drama you're so drama with two hours it wasn't it was 45 it wasn't 45 minutes that's fucking bullshit and mind you it was a it was a four in the morning so I was kind of dozing off

and then you realize I was like you know what yeah he hasn't been back in a while so I was putting my flip-flops on and I was on my way down and sure enough he you know barges through the door and he's like where the fuck where are you like I was supposed to know that he didn't have keys or a cell phone so what I was doing is you know I was like MacGyver down there I go I gotta figure this out so what I was gonna do is I was gonna go outside right so I pried the door open to go outside because this whole every door is locked to get into the building and then I was gonna hop up or a fence and I had a fucking I had pennies I was gonna throw out the window but then I'm like where do I put Gobi because I'm gonna have a leash is my dog right so I'll put him I'll put him in

the dumpster but then I thought but I thought so I'm putting Gobi in the dumpster and I was I was thinking to myself I literally for a split second I went you know I put the dog in the dumpster that she would get really angry I just had a feeling that she would get angry yeah so I take him out of the dumpster and I go I'm just cut the weight down here I would have was coming to your rescue yeah and then so then the gay dude next door the gay Asian dude next door the one that we previously had beef with but we don't have beef with any of our squash squash he goes hey what's going on oh god look hello and she's like oh come on in so I I brought the dog in and I yelled at Kaila but that's not you being there for me that's you being that's not rude and having no sense of

time in fact that was the opposite of the rifle that was you not being there for you you walk down there with no keys no cell phone at 4 30 in the morning that's your bed my dad's gonna die stop saying that don't say it like yeah I just I'm it's coming I feel it are you guys gonna be next again yeah we are going to Phoenix again yeah I don't know you know I you know I don't know how I don't know what's going on but I you know that's real and I know this is a comedy podcast but fuck it my dad is is is almost there I believe today I talked to my brother and my dad was in the background and he go my dad go my brother goes put he puts me on speakerphone you know hi dad and this is what he went he went he's just crying just hearing my voice no I want a man hears

this his son's voice to cry that's a man who him he says to himself that this is the end hmm or he's just emotional no this is that was no that was a guttural and my brother's like oh my god what the fuck I like you don't want to put me on speaker and stop sending photos of that guy to go I love kid but so that's what my brother's doing my brother's taking care of my father and sending photos of people I sucked off you know what so this is gonna sound god damn it's really fucked up yeah but when my dad was I guess on his way out in retrospect there were some really really funny moments yeah you told me one that made me laugh funny moments like yeah tell me about the one when my dad was sort of losing it like he wasn't as lucid anymore and he his pain

medications he was taking like a heavy dose of codeine so he was losing his mind a little bit you know and he was he was bedridden but he was at home and you know my mom's sister and I took care of him but I wasn't home I was in San Diego and I received a phone call and my dad was frightened on the phone he was my darling my darling there's a tall dark woman here and I think she's here to kill me she's here to kill me and like my heart was racing but then all you all of a sudden I hear in the background my sister crying like papa it's me I'm your daughter too and he would he would it was sad then I felt bad for my sister but like in retrospect that's shit hilarious and what was the other one that you told me is he one time he he took all he had an attaché case that he would

travel with everywhere he was able to kind of unlock his attaché case take his passports shove it in his diaper and he's like Miller Miller take me to the great ambassador like he was living a lot I don't know Miller Miller who the fuck is I was gonna ask who is that I have no idea and then he started you know his first his mother tongue is French and he all he wouldn't speak English anymore and he would just look at us and speak French but that's when you said that's when you said that that was the end you knew that the end came for me when I was like okay the end is near when he started speaking French and he started to refer to his dad he's he would say daddo a lot and I was like oh he's seeing or talking to people that aren't even here anymore or who have

passed so I took that as okay the end is near and I think three weeks later he passed okay I'm gonna you know what I you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna I'm gonna call speaker phone my brother right now oh hold on is it too late maybe 1046 I'm gonna know I'm gonna speaker for my brother okay and I need it because of what you just said um it really just let me just do it what is he still have a ring back down they're cool dude it's new it's a new new hit guys from cricket wireless is it cricket boost mobile we're on the phone with Steve Lee right now about to be he's not gonna pick up what are you doing I don't know destiny no he didn't bring the xbox so why that song it's a good song the classic one oh you don't get to

choose maybe I'll just leave a message yeah yeah hey Steve stop sending photos to kalilah and myself of of kids I sucked off number one and number two if dad starts talking to his own dad in Korean let me know because that's the end so grim I'm very it's a very not nice message to leave somebody I knew this is real this is real shit I'm not I'm not mincing words I'm getting to the point this is real life I can't believe it guys wait hold on do you want to hear something cool I'm not done speaking of death yeah okay go ahead you I'm not no I'm not no I'm not I'm not done with the I thought you just interrupt me like as if I was done with the podcast no no no I'm not done with the bank go

ahead speaking of death yeah um there's a 14 year old girl in England who she just recently passed but she had the court system basically she had the courts um basically agree to carry out her death wish which is to be like cryogenized like to be cryogenically like to be frozen and preserved so that down down the road maybe she can be you know revived in a different that happens all the time no I know but a 14 year old girl she doesn't her parents are responsible for her so it's like usually you can make your own choices as an adult but she couldn't and her dad didn't agree to it but her mom did so she she went to court and the court sided with her and said yeah like her she had a disease what did she had cancer she's now frozen yeah but then she had her

she had her body shipped to the United States my question is this is that when that happens like Walt Disney had that done right yeah you know that yeah yeah so how do you know that they're gonna defrost you when time is the time is like when does it happen or when the time is right yeah so a thousand years later some guy that works at the company goes I guess this is the time no but if for a 14 year old what if it wasn't a fucking as a 14 year old dying and you never really had too much time on earth I think you just want a second shot at anywhere any time that's the saddest thing you should know that was made me cry sad why'd you bring that up because it's real it's so sad yeah 14 years in do you have a photo of her no I don't oh how do you know you didn't

make it up I didn't look at her face later face later yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well then I got one then too you have no photo proof yeah you know 12 year old boy yeah he had lupus oh no right but severely yeah and he was growing into his brain okay lupus is an autoimmune disorder doesn't grow what is this one did okay this and his name was Raphael okay and um he he believes um that if he was buried on the moon that it's gonna preserve his body so he's on the moon now being preserved do you have a picture no but I believe you exactly thank you yeah yeah you know there probably isn't a photo she's a minor no you just make shit up and it really makes me fucking angry I remember the poop pills you didn't believe that people actually ate those pills yeah yeah

see this yeah but you had photos of it no I didn't you still don't believe me if I google poop pills it's gonna they're gonna have photos if I google fortune or go cry generic whatever cryogenically frozen yeah where we at a time we're at our 51 okay this is a weird podcast it's okay we got through it uh fans no no but stop stop I want to talk about it am I not doing a well job you're not doing a well job at this podcast thing I feel like the last couple I've been not I've been off what's the truck okay so we have options here either we do what other people in podcasts do which has come with a game plan a set list but I don't think we operate well like that if we were we're off the cuff you know we're having a guest next week yeah so we'll be a little more prepared

than we were supposed to yeah I mean he said you do it Michael Rosenbaum I'm very excited and he's from Smallville and many other small and millions of other things Lex Luthor yeah and um but yeah I it's like I I want to do it the podcast yeah but there's just things going on in my life that just it's it's crazy you have a few barriers right now my dad Trump all that stuff is like really affecting me and um I'm also 45 I'm going through a mid-life process I think oh you're gonna buy a motorcycle do it I think you should fucking do it and a Tesla I just fucking gave my motorcycle he had a leather jacket and just go ride the road yeah or we could just ride bicycles just um I need to go to me a meeting or something please dear god please do that when was the last

time you went months and months and months probably like three months no I'm a longer even I don't think I used to do with Charlie the last time I went with Charlie now can you I don't understand why you can't you can't go without him no I'm going to go by myself now this whole Charlie thing do you think it's going to be squashed sometimes yes okay because the Charlie thing is it was derived from you and Jessica why let's talk about it then because you guys got me all like in my head like oh that's weird okay so let's start the story with no I don't want to talk about Charlie if he's not hold on one second I you you just made made it sound as if we turned you against him which is not the case because my best friend Jessica housed him because he didn't have a

home for three months and he left without saying thank you yeah I know okay so don't make it seem because we're gonna fight I have there are certain things that I never never never want to be portrayed as uh-huh and that's one of them I never want to be that person who turns you against your friend he willingly chose not to thank somebody who's home yeah I know home for three I understand what his dog was a bad thing the reason why I haven't talked to him is because of all the things you just said okay he already knows that he senses it okay now listen to everyone listening this is personal stuff we're gonna keep it in the show read me the fucking email now okay on helpful advice with Bobby and Kalano well no stop stop no before you go into it before you go

into it listen to me I was just doing it as a joke I know that it's really personal to you and that's the reason why I haven't talked to him because I feel exactly the way you feel I just you know not in those words but he's cut off and the reason I don't want you to cut him off because of me I've grit no I don't know the reason why he's cut off is listen to me is because of all the things that you have mentioned he didn't say thank you to Jessica when we were being you know being completely generous to him and helping him and number two um I've helped the guy out for many many years and um I found it offensive that he you know he would behave that way now but he's so fucking fake dude each time that he would be like hey what's up Kalano what's up

Jenna what's up Jessica yeah and then all this time it's like yeah when when when you were reading your phone your your messages from him and I saw that picture that he screenshot it of Jenna and he says can we cut her the can we cut the wires of her brakes can we kill her can we do this to her it hurt my feelings it's like you've met my friend Jenna for two seconds Jenna's a good girl all right um read the message to the email now I'm sorry baby I love you come on unhelpful advice don't do the voice you're right it's one of those times yeah yeah unhelpful advice with bobby I hate it that I said it out loud it's no one's business unhelpful advice with bobby and Kalaila this is from Hannah I recently listened to the bonus

belly and made me feel good that bobby also has OCD I've had mine for 11 years my OCD is a fear based on if I don't do my rituals I always think that I'll be a horrible day or my dog will die I was wondering how do you guys try to stop your tics or rituals or do you just let them happen if the one thing I've been doing lately because of the rewinding thing that I have to do is you know when I watch something I have to rewind it if I rewind it I have to run it three times you know that thing I do I just let it pass I won't do it oh you know and so what happens is an hour later I just forget about why I needed to rewind it in the first place and it just passes so even in my head I go you got to touch that two more times because if you don't your dad's

gonna die if he dies he dies I mean I mean it's like if if I live in a world where my where because I don't touch something three times three times something bad happens that I don't want to be in this world in the first place right so it's like that's how I've been you know it's like whatever bad thing happens and let it happen because I don't want to live in that world and it doesn't happen the bad thing that thing is going to happen right so if I go if I don't touch this door man the door knob three times you know I'm going to break my foot it never gets broken and so it's all bullshit it's all in my head and I just let it pass and I accept whatever it is that I think bad that's bad that's going to happen you okay babe no well do you have

rituals that you just let them pass or do you actually try to do it like I can't even move on from that last comment wow I hate this is what I hate about myself I'm I'm so easily triggered and I hate when I rant and I hated that I even ranted out the Filipino president because I've changed my mind since and I think that he's dangerous you know but here's a thing but it's like I don't I don't like mixing what this is such a great space for me yeah you know that we have this and I don't want that type of personal drama to seep in but I'm so easily triggered because if it's like if you only give bits of information that people can infer from and make their own stories I can't have that so I have to say the full story I have to say what really happened

because it's like no I don't want to my friend to be misrepresented in any way because I have her back through and through and I think that I surround myself with the kindest most generous people yeah but what's gonna happen what's gonna happen is what's gonna happen from this he's gonna call he's gonna he's gonna call you be like fuck your bitch fuck her why'd she say all those things and no and what I'm gonna say is that those are the things that you did that happened and um if you want to clear it up come on to the podcast we'll clear it up yeah it's just gonna be awkward I don't even want him in my home now he's gonna slash the tires he's gonna fucking he's not like dude don't hold that past him he's not like that he's not gonna slash nobody's tires he's gonna

slash anybody's tires yeah but I also don't it's like he's already you know trying to work in the industry and I don't want to fucking just you you know I want to know how to play nice Hollywood I know I want to play your game where it's like yeah you can throw a few jabs but you can always retract and everything's still friendly no when I feel something and I feel like my friends have been wrong I feel like I can't help but attack sweetie I don't play nice Hollywood I can't do that it's cathartic it's not cathartic it's not cathartic because now I whatever whatever it is whatever it fucking is it's gonna resolve itself all right this is all entertainment I don't want him to hear this hurt himself it'd be my fault like I have all these things that I I think about

where it's like Kalei you could have chosen the high road instead you said this now people are writing things to him and now you know he's an alcoholic he's gonna relapse and then now it's my fault and now I've I've now everything is on my shoulders and I can't live the rest of my life knowing that I might have been responsible for someone's undoing your first of all you're what you're doing is your projection in the future and you're not a psychic and you don't know what's gonna go on that's crazy the only thing that's real is the moment everything else is just hearsay okay so you don't live in the results of anything that's how you feel you have resentments you got him out and Charlie can either take it or not and I believe that he will take it I believe

that he will apologize you know what even before this airs I'm gonna write him tonight and he I'm gonna I'm gonna say this is what I said about if you want to talk about we can talk about it I'd like to talk about it don't and anyone listening to me right now don't go to Charlie's Instagram and fucking say anything you can't tell him because that's exactly what they'll no no no no they'll do smiley faces or whatever but my point is is this is that this will resolve itself in its own in the Lord's time okay and if we let the Lord the Lord know if we learned anything from the arrival it's be a good one full circle back to the movie yeah what we learned from the arrival is there are things bigger than us that's here's the thing about that why I like the arrival

because you hope that there's something bigger than us right that's something that connects the world together and we're all it's it's love there's love and we're all connected and at the end of the day it's gonna be alright okay that's what I loved about the movie that a peaceful you know alien species that wants to help us grow you know and and and you can call that god or whatever you want to but that's the feeling that I want I want to feel connected to the world and I don't want I have only love for Mike Pence and Donald Trump and Steve Bannon and these figures and I want to be able to understand them and I want to be able to live in harmony with everyone and and that's not as a joke that's how I feel right now so anyone listening to

Tiger Belly right now that was a really weird episode but we're not editing it editing it and um this is your call I'm happy to edit that part out I'm not we're putting it out there hey that's your I don't want to oh that's fine so hey hey listen to Tiger Belly god bless you and let your journeys be your own and let the fog dissipate in front of your eyes so you can reach freedoms was that in their rival was that a quote no that's not no I just made that up uh and my fuck my fucking quotes are for a fucking good it was good right it was good thank you and thank you Bryce and thank you lord goodnight uh any shows for Bobby Bobby will be at the American Comedy Company December 1st through the 3rd I love Tiger Belly this is why this is why

we're gonna get on top 10s of iTunes no this is literally why we're gonna drop off the charts this is the one thing that I hate about myself shows first shows first before that's all I know okay and also Monday on Monday a former guest Chris Witaski oh that's right um Bobby will be doing a show at UCB Sunset I think I think there are still tickets available and um it's a show called so so you do comedy so you do comedy and it's hosted by Chris Witaski who's a previous guest of hours yeah um Bobby's gonna get interviewed by him so you can just see Bobby you'll probably be there too right um I'm gonna try I'll probably be there too then if she is uh yeah that's gonna be at UCB Sunset you can go get tickets on ucbsunset.com um anything else do you want to say about what

just happened it's like your I cut you off before you were in there no I I just want I wanted so badly from I thought that after some time that I wouldn't feel the way I do about him no that's not you man you defend your friends that's right you fucking defend your friends and it's like look even if he was Brad Pitt or Jesus himself and he did that to my friends like I just don't care who you are even if my if my reputation is at stake or I just don't care I'm gonna defend my friends you know and I don't know how else to be because I feel like you know like I said like Jenna and Jessica they're my sisters they're my family and I've only ever they're not nasty people hopefully not they might you know if you if they're not your you know some

to some people Jenna might be an acquired taste she's more of an exhibitionist she likes to dry shave her legs in public you know she's sort of a and you know she's an anomaly right yeah some people are not into that and maybe they find that enough reason to outwardly hate her but she's still my sister and it doesn't warrant any type of shit talking no yeah it's finishing up yeah it's finishing up yeah nothing nothing I didn't I'm just talking to Gilbert about my friends so I am sure I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this episode because I fucking it just became drama but at the end of the day I don't regret defending my friends and I never will so thank you guys for listening uh you can follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly

and email us any questions we've been light on questions the past couple uh weeks we're getting a lot of the same um type of questions so try to mix it up send us some questions you can do it at the email uh the tiger belly at gmail.com uh you can follow Kalyla and not giving her social media you can follow Kalyla at Bryce Halleck is it underscore so send all your random hate to Bryce Halleck yeah you were a great guest today Bryce Bryce you killed it you and George weird cousins or not you're the you're the nephew of George um I think that's all we have for this week guys sorry I'm sorry hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music

download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey