TigerBelly - Episode 75: Ian Edwards is our #FFFL

Episode Date: January 18, 2017

Ian and Bobo are almost lovers. Khaloko has a Plan B. We talk spa dates, Steve Harvey, and daytime muggings.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Yo, man. You'll see. You'll see. Yo, yo, yo. Five, four, three, two, one. Everybody have a good time. Everybody gonna have a good time tonight. 2017, good times. Hollywood nights.

Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood nights. Welcome to the podcast. Happy M-O-K day. M-O-K? M-O-K day. And I want to introduce... Wait a minute. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. It wasn't strategic, I promise.

It wasn't strategic. Yo, yo, yo. I saw that together. And relax, bro. What the fuck? We don't know that you're on it yet, dude. You don't want me to start over, bro. All right?

I mean, could you? I'm gonna start off, everybody have a good time. Everybody gonna have a good time tonight. Hollywood nights. 2017. We gotta have a good time. Yeah, we got Kalyla, we got Gilbets, we got Georgetown USA with this fucking funky face.

We got funky face George, and we got his gay cousin Bryce Bryce. And one of my favorites, Ian Edwards. Give him a round of applause. Stop. Stop. Why would you tell your girl to stop? Stop, everyone. What?

Because when she walked into this room, you gave her a hug that was a little too long. We warned you that we were gonna hug for 10 minutes. I know. Out of respect. I know. I feel like you've chosen the right woman. I know.

And I honor that every time I see her. I know. That's like me respecting the choice you've made, the life choice you've made. But also, he knows that you've always been my plan B. Right. Exactly. It's been unrealized love.

And it's been going on for years. And you should thank me for being a shitty plan B. So that this love of yours keeps going. It's a pretty good plan B, though. It's pretty good. Number one, you're healthy. He does yoga. He does yoga.

It's just started. Yeah. I didn't know that black people did yoga, but is that racial? No, I didn't know. Because I want to listen. It's MLK day. MLK day.

Right? I don't want any problems. Okay. You sure? I forgot about the riots. The LA riots beneath us. Right? Bobby, when you call me today.

Yeah. You put that together? Yeah. When you call me today, you're like... I swear I'm fucking going. All right. Natron? No.

I called you Natron? Yeah. I called you Natron. Yes, Urban, Bobby. You called me Natron. Yeah, I called you Natron, dad. Oh, God. I did.

I go, yo, what's up, Nate? You want to do the podcast? He goes, no, I'm busy. So I go next week, but then we got them. And I also want to say this. You and I are heterosexual, correct? I know I am. No.

Me too. No, I want you... I can only speak for myself. No, I need you to... Do you think that I'm heterosexual? Yeah. Look at my... All right, good.

Yeah, yeah. But can you also... Can you also... Yeah. Yeah. Bobby, I think you are 100% straight. It's just that you're buttholes gay. Jesus.

I do have a very... Gay butthole. Gay butthole. It is very gay, yeah. But there is sexual tension between us, you and I. No, no, not at all. Be real though. There is something going on.

No. No, no, no. But let me say something right now. Wait, what? No, shut the fuck up, Gilbert. I'm trying to be real on my podcast, okay? When I see you, right, do I not physically assault you? Yeah, but you physically assault a lot of dudes.

No, I'm very picky. You're very picky. Who do I physically assault? You? Doc. Doc, one of the... You have in common? Sometimes.

You have in common. I'm okay, hey? I'm okay, hey? Yeah, sometimes who? Uh-uh. I'm sure you've exalted Delia. Nah. Nah.

Not as much. Not as much? No, it's your... Brian Callan? No, never. Because he does a reciprocal... He comes back at it. He reciprocates it.

Yeah. You get uncomfortable. Right, so you like... And sometimes I like to lock you in, in place. And I know that there's sexual tension between us. Yeah, when you hold me. And I'm trying to get away. Yeah, there's plenty of tension then, yeah.

I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that I just really love. I want to just say this to... I think it's uncomfortableness. No, it's not that's what it is. I think this is what it is. I think... I think you're beloved in the comedy, you know, industry. Especially in stand-up.

That's what I... That's where I know Ian. And, you know, you will open for Rogan, you know what I mean? Conan O'Brien produced your album. You're like in the mix with a lot of like really good camps. You're also a guy who, like myself, is crossover in terms of like we can play white rooms. That's... We tend to play regular rooms that everyone else plays.

So there's just a lot of things about you that I really admire. There's also, I just find you sexually... Advertising? Advertising. I'm not gay, dude. Wait, didn't you take him to the spa the other day? Oh, fuck, bro. I did, dude.

Oh, I thought you were on my side. Yeah. You can't... I'm trying to get my man back, but either of you, I lost you both. I think you lost your plan A. And B. No, no, I'm here. I'm here.

You have C right there. Yeah. He's questionable, too. Yeah, yeah. That's true. I thought he didn't go to the spa. I think I did. All right.

So I take him in the punk rock hobbit. What's his name? Yeah. Dean Delray. Yeah. The punk rock hobbit. And I go, let's go to the spa. Korean spa.

And then so they go. And like, if I go to the spa with any guy, especially the Korean one, you get naked. You know? But this fool and the fucking punk rock hobbit, we're the shorts. I know they're shorts here. So I have to go to an area of the spa where I know that where they are. Two steps. Two steps.

I had to give it to him. And now they're in the steam room with their fucking shorts on. But isn't that like against Korean spa policy? It is. But they have four whites and blacks, I guess. I see. There you go. I know.

But what is it? Why don't you want you to expose yourself to me? Is it me? Or in general? There you go. There you go. Listen, you've assaulted me in clothes. There's no way, there's no way I'm going to give you a shot at me without no clothes.

I really have assaulted you in clothes. It's not even, it's not even the spa rules. It's just like, this is the Bobby rules. Yeah. I was with somebody else that doesn't physically put their hands on me. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm going to change that about myself with you.

I really am because you want to have not only stand up in common, but we also are huge fans of soccer. Oh, yeah. He's a man you fan. Do you guys know that? Oh, we just saw the documentary on Zlatan last week. Oh, there's a doc on it? Yeah.

It's not the best one. It just basically goes back and forth between his career in IACs and his last year in Malmo. So like, and when he was like 18, 19, when he was just starting. Yeah. I'm going to check that out. Yeah, it's really good. And how when he first got to IACs, there was so much pressure because they spent so much money on him.

And that first year, it wasn't great. And then in the second year, he came alive. And it's a pretty good documentary if you like, you know, soccer, you know, or if you like just sports in general, you you realize like, you know how he's always jumping from team to team to team and you realize that it's because his whole life he's used raised by gypsy. He's a gypsy. Yeah, he's a gypsy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he played soccer like a gypsy. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And also he at because I, you know, I've talked about in this podcast, the the photo with him and PK. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. The photo. Yeah, you showed me that. I know, I know. I show everybody. I show everybody. Yeah. So basically, Zlatan Ivorovic, who plays for Manu, used to play for Barcelona.

And he was leaving Barcelona and he was saying goodbye to Gerard Pique, who's a defender, he's still there, who's married to Shakira. And they take a photo of them basically fucking. Well, they were saying goodbye very intimately, too intimately. Let me ask you a question, my friend for two straight dudes. You and I, you and I, let's do you and I were in war. You and I were in war. In war.

Like we're in Vietnam. Right. Okay. And we saw the shit. Right. I mean, we saw people die. Right. You know, I got shrapnel in my ass one night.

Wow. I was about to believe that. No, just listen. I'm listening. And you're as a brother, you carry me back to the fox hall and you just take the fucking shrapnel in my ass. You know what I mean? One by one.

Right. I mean, first of all, that's the, the Red Cross guys. I wanted you to do it. I want you to do it. I didn't do it. Yeah. But the Red Cross. No, I want you to do it.

This is what I would do. What? What would you do? If I think there's going to be some shrapnel going in your ass that I have to pick out, I'm jumping in front of the grenade. The shrapnel gets in your ass. No, there's no need because then so and then I'll stop it then. If it gets in your ass, yeah, I'm going back to base to say Bobby didn't make it.

No, because you don't, because you don't even know why the shrapnel is in my ass. I don't know why it's in your ass. Yeah. Because the Viet Cong is attacking, right? And I bend over because you're already fucking me. So you're already fucking me, right? And that's how. No, I'm kidding.

But what I'm saying is that if you and I are in war for 10 years and then we're like leaving, like going back to the States and we're going to separate, we would give each other a pound. A pound. We wouldn't do what is a lot on and it was, it was close. Yeah. Very close. But their fingers were in tango.

Yeah. So you're not, and you were, you were denying that they were gay, but now what's your opinion, Kaila? Well, initially I was like, look, they're European, you know, they get touch, they, you know, they play touch, but a lot, right? But then now I have a real theory in place. Oh yeah. Here we go.

So both Gerard P. K. and Slotan have been with their women for a long time, but both of their women are 10 years, approximately 10 years older than them. Only women who are. Women are older than them. Yeah. So Slotan's wife is like 46. And Shakira is about 37. So Gerard P. K. is what, like 29, 28 or something like that.

Anyways, my theory is this. Only older women would really allow for a sexual fluidity in their marriage, meaning to say that I think that only old, it, it comes with age to kind of be a little bit more understanding of your man's sexuality. Let's suppose like they were both bisexual. I bet you those two women would be okay with it. Like I didn't, if in my 20s I wouldn't want to be with a guy who was bisexual, but now that I'm in my 30s, it wouldn't bother me.

So Bobby's bisexuality does not bother me. Oh, is that like an absurd? What? I'm just asking. There's no, that's probably bullshit. What? I'm not against that. That makes some sense to me.

Well you guys are playing good now, huh? Yeah. So we tied with Liverpool. I know, but that was still like, you know, you thought, I thought you guys will lose. You did? Yeah, I did. Like 85th minute. Yeah, 85th.

Yeah. And then Zlatan gets a header, ties it, and it shows the old man you fighting spirit. Right. And then we almost kind of won it. Yeah. You guys almost kind of won it. And, um, and I thought that their goal was bullshit. It was a penalty.

Yeah. Bullshit. Yeah. And Pogba messed up. They got lucky and they scored. Yeah, but I mean, I'm just saying that Pogba, I don't think, would you think that that was a handball? No, I don't think it was intentional.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's how. Yeah. And that's how they get the point. Yeah. But you know, it just is what it is. Yeah.

Because they want to say our goal was off sides. Yeah. You know, right. And I was actually rooting for you guys. Oh, you were? Yeah. Because, um, I want Liverpool to start losing a couple of games. Because so you, because they pat.

Where are you guys now? We're fourth. We're fourth? Oh, yeah. But Man City, did you see that game? Oh, Jesus Christ. Everton. You know, I was.

Peppers. Pepp. Fucked up. Wow. Well, I don't know if I told you this on the podcast. He, this is the worst personnel he's ever had to coach at Barser. He had the best in the league. Right.

At Bayern. He had the best in the league. Yeah. He came to a team that has no defenders and no defensive midfielders. Right. And his team, his personnel are not the best players in the league. He has four good players. Yeah.

He has. Aguero. Aguero, Sterling, De Bruyne, and David Silva. Yeah. And sometimes. David Silva. Sometimes y'all are Tory. David Silva.

David Silva. It's David Silva. That's right. It's David. It's David. Is it David? David Silva. Oh, fuck.

He's European. That's right. That's how they say it. You guys. Okay. You're being urban Ian. Urban Ian. Yes.

And my bad. Black people don't even say David. They don't. Unless they, you know. Right. So, yeah, their team. He's got a shitty team. No defense.

Yeah. Right. You're right. I mean, you think Clichy and Sanya and those guys are bad too? Sanya. I just think, even with Clichy and Sanya, you have no defensive midfielder. Right. Well, you do, but he's, he's out for like three games.

That's Fernandinho. He got a red card. Yeah. Fernandinho. Yeah. And then Artie Amende and John Stones is probably too young. Yeah. He's, he should probably be a defensive midfielder.

Yeah. Because the way he plays. Yeah. Tourist is not in the part of the four or no. He's so good. No. Yeah. But he lumbers sometimes.

That's right. He doesn't track back. He doesn't track back. He didn't track back on the Davies goal. Yeah. Yeah. And then he stands and listens to this podcast going, we don't want to talk about. What are you talking about?

We have a lot of fans. I'm just telling you, I'm going to talk about what I want to talk about. Right. I'm going to fucking talk about what I want to talk about. I'm not going to fucking edit it. All right. I'm just going to do what I'm going to do. All right.

And I love everybody. I want people to have a good time. Right. But I'm no longer going to have that in my head. Just to, I know I'm just, I'm just venting from my own soul. I just can't believe Lester city is doing this shitty. I mean, I guess you can believe it, but then you sort of feel bad that, you know, then you really believe that it was a fluke.

It was a fluke, but when you, when you look how they play now, you're like, God damn renew you was a good coach last year. Yeah. And then you give him credit for, for like, it wasn't impossible when, and this is who they really are. Yeah. When you have a dream attached to something and, and the whole country and the world is praying for something to happen, we kind of manifested them.

Yeah. Right. I really believe in manifestations. Me too. And so, but now they won the league. Now the rest of the world. Fuck it. You want now the regular people will win.

Right. And now they're just terrible. Yeah. Not great. And Jamie Vardy should have signed with Arsenal. And you know, you know, I had like some Irish dudes on the podcast today and, and, and we realized something like. Irish dudes.

Yeah. Like where? Where? Ireland. From Ireland. Yeah. But they, they're in town. Yeah.

But are they from Ireland or they're just. No, from Ireland. Oh, so they have accents. They have the accents. Yeah. Yeah. And one of them was like, like, and, and somebody else said, you said, I don't know who said that.

Wenger doesn't like certain personalities on his side. Yeah. Not anymore. He used to like the tough guys. Yeah. But the team is a little awesome. It was a little soft and you guys could assign Conti. Yeah.

And, and Conti went to a team that was 10 for the league last year. Yeah. As opposed to a team that was you guys second and then league last year. Yeah. Like Wenger should have pursued him more and had a better chance of getting him. I mean, that's what you guys need. I know. Wenger's made a lot of mistakes.

Yeah. I mean, he could have signed back in the day. You remember, bitch? No. He came to the club. But didn't he think he was like a liability? I don't know. But he doesn't like old dudes at all.

No, but this is when you remember it was young. This is like when he was 18 or 19, you know, we could have signed him. Yeah. And also Alexi Sanchez's behavior this weekend. Did you see that? Yeah. But I asked another Arsenal friend of mine. Yeah.

You know, he's a gunner for life. Yeah. Me too. And he was like, he was just upset that he came out the game. No. No? Something else? I'm going to say this right now.

Tell me. We're winning 4-0. Danny Welbeck has been hurt for a very long time. As you know, when somebody's injured for that long and they get healthy, they need playing time. Right. Right. So, Van Gogh goes, we're up 4-0.

I'm going to take the stars off. And Alexi Sanchez literally started almost crying because he got substituted for a friend of his who's a teammate who needs playing time. And then at one point, he's on the bench and he has his jacket over his face and he's like, doesn't want the cameras to see him because he got substituted out. It's so dramatic and sissy and fucking dumb. Be a fucking man and be a good dude. All right.

Now, that makes sense. But why did he do it though? Why was he being dramatic? Because he's always like that. Like if he plays like that though, passionately. Yeah. He's okay. That's passion.

Sure. Right. Right. Your question does make me wonder, like, yeah, like, all right, why is he doing that? Yeah. He's making it uncomfortable for the fucking team, right? He makes it all about himself. Like he's, you know, it's like all of a sudden now, all the newspaper cycle and the news

is all about him acting like a fucking baby, right? And it shouldn't have been about that. It should have been about how we won 4-0 in how Danny Welbig is healthy and be positive. But you have to be able to argue too that it's that same intense competitive spirit that makes him a baby also makes him Alexi Sanchez. Right. No. Yes.

I think so. I think he's, Venger says that he's one of the hardest working players on the field. If the rest of your team, like, if the members of the team, like, had the passion that he had, you guys would be top of the table. I don't know, man. I think everyone- That guy keeps running, man. Mm-hmm.

That's, that's now agility. Like, I'm not usually hit, what is it called, conditioning? Mm-hmm. No, no, I'm going to say this right now. If I was on Arsenal's team, the way I am now, trust me, I will have the passion. I just don't have the, I just don't have the ability. Oh, get it. You'll get it if you're on the team.

Oh, no. If they go, if there was like a machine that you can attach to me and Alexi and who has more passion, I think might even be go above his, but he will, yeah, no, it would in terms of passion. You've never played- I'm Mr. Passion. You've never played- I'm Captain Passion.

You know what I mean? That was my nickname in high school, dude. I'm passionate about it. My eyes get all teared up. I tremble. Oh, there he is. Yeah. Have you played in a, a, a ball sport ever in your life?

Yeah. I was a bitch. I've played ball sports, bitch. All right. Tennis. Is that not a ball sport, bitch? It's a ball sport. It's a ball sport.

Right? So I have, and you know I have. Yeah. I was on the high school tennis team. I mean, you're passionate now. I was here right here. Yeah, yeah. I'm passionate.

I just don't have the conditioning. Right? I believe Drew's just as passionate. He's just not- Drew, yeah, I don't know. Really? That scorpion kick? Enough said.

All right. That's passionate. You're hilarious. I want to talk about Steve Harvey. Why? Because- Oh, meeting Trump? No.

Him saying that Asian men are indatable. When did he say that? Last week. Oh, he did? Yeah. I mean, see what happens when you meet with Trump? Racism is not what we want. Spreads fans.

Yeah. I mean, a lot of people believe, and this is a cultural thing, it's an American cultural thing where they believe that we're not hands or sex symbols, males. The women have always, you know, Asian women have always been like fetishized and put on a pedestal. But Asian men- By other races, just saying? Yes.

Yeah, by whites, you know, generally. And I'll give you an example, like, when that relationship between Steve, we've talked about on the podcast, Steve Yoon's relationship in the show Walking Dead with that white chick. With Maggie. With Maggie, right? And then Ryan Seacrest said, remember what he said? Oh, yeah.

What did he say? He says, I don't believe that they should be- Maggie's kind of Asian, though. She's white. Completely? Yeah, she's like from- What the fuck? British actress.

You know, you know one of those guys that, if a white chick is dating an Asian guy, you don't really look Asian, do you? You're one of those guys. You're one of those guys. You're one of those guys. I've seen guys like you before. You can't accept it. You can't accept it, so in your head, you're psychological, though, they're Asian, too.

All right. Ryan Seacrest said- So her eyes aren't a little Asian? No, there's nothing Asian about her, dude. Nothing? I don't? Yeah. Not too blonde.

Oh, no, not blonde, but you know. You're one of those guys. It's like saying Steve Martin's kind of black. No! That's what it is. I don't know if it's like that. I don't know if it's like that. I don't know what the real word is.

David Bowie's black, because he's dating, you know, yeah. No. Yeah, no. She's not Asian, dude. David Bowie's dead. Oh, yeah, that's true. You don't say like that. Well, anyways, Ryan Seacrest basically said that, you know, in essence, it doesn't really-

It wouldn't really happen in real life. He doesn't bite in the apocalypse? That's the only time you could bite. You could bite anytime, but if you are a skeptic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. When there's 12 guys left. Yeah, the odds are, yeah.

Ryan Seacrest is like, I see her dating her dad. No, but even though Ryan Seacrest probably would probably rub vaginas before she dated. Like, I'll go lesbian. Oh, there it is. Some white dudes, they can't accept it. But you know Asian dudes that pull white chicks, right? I was one of them. Yeah, there you go.

You know what I mean? He's done it. What? White dudes? Yeah, white dudes. Yeah, white dudes. Yeah, I was reading the article about white dudes. Exactly, dude.

Oh, shit. Exactly, Gilbert. White dudes. You just fucking outed yourself. You just outed yourself. You just fucking outed yourself. You're just fucking white just now, dude. No, you're not.

You look through my mind. You go white dudes. Yeah, that's fucking weird, dude. And we're going to fucking talk about that in a second. He wrote a book on how to date a white woman, a practical guy for Asian men. Steve Hardy. He didn't write that. I think someone else did.

And he was like... Talked about it? Yeah, and he was like, if that was a book or it would be one page long, do you date Asian men? And the response would be no. And he went on to say... Oh, he said, you like Asian men? I don't even like Chinese food, he said.

I don't eat what I can't pronounce. That's what Seabob is. That doesn't bother me. That doesn't bother me. Yeah, that's just him to me. That doesn't bother me. You practice. Sometimes Steve Harvey does this...

There's this way, if you just say ignorant things, it sounds funny. And that's a part of his style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Even when he's on Family Feud, which I watch as bloopers, and so I think he's very funny on Family Feud. Yeah, it's funny. Very funny on Family Feud.

And some of the jokes are like sometimes a little like, you know, hacking. But he has to improvise within, you know, a clean way. Right. And so I forgive him for that. So he is a comedian, so I'm going to give him that. But aside from him, there is a lot of people that believe that. And it's got to stop. Well, let me ask you a question.

Yeah. Like, do Asian dudes go after other races? Yeah. Yeah. Last night, I did the improv and a Tiger Barrier fan that was sitting in the front row, Asian dude was dating a white girl. I see it in my shows. Oh, so it happens so...

So maybe in my shows, they just come out. Right. But it's like, you know, I see it all the time. But what bothers me about that is that I have Asian female friends who are offended by the fact, who don't like the fact that Asian men see dating a white woman as a step above dating them. Oh, that's bullshit. Because do you say that a lot?

Oh, you won the lottery. You're dating a white woman. Not in the lottery in terms of, like, what you got, it's in terms of, like, socially. Right? Like, it's because it's such a... It's a little harder. That happens in the black community, too. Right.

It's a little harder. I don't even feel the same way. So it's... There is a sense of, like, oh, fuck. I'm, you know what I mean? I'm killing big game here. You know what I mean? I used to shoot, like, coyotes and now I'm shooting...

No, dinosaurs. He's going back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been back in time and I've fucking killed a T-Rex. With my hands. With my hands. Yeah. There is a sense of that, like, when I was 24 and I was with Jennifer Field and she was

this girl that lived by the beach and she had, like, dolphin tattoos, which is so fucking gross, but, um... And, um... On her ankle. I was eating her fucking... I was in her closet because her mom was home. So I was eating her pussy in the closet. Right?

Yeah, yeah. And it was just, you know, crazy. But, and I looked at her, like, a little, because I could see through the, you know, the darkness her face, her white face. And I went, wow, you're doing that. Yeah. That's it. It's the unlikeliness that makes it feel like a gift, maybe.

Right, right. This is real good. You know what I mean? But then, like, four months later, we're gone. Done. It's hilarious. Yeah. Because her insides wasn't right with my insides.

What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? She didn't have, she didn't have a penis. Yeah. No. Not in terms of organs, bitch. I'm talking about, like, our beliefs and our values and making each other laugh. You made it sound like some anatomical idea.

Problem. It sounded physical. Yeah. It's not, but wasn't. Okay. It wasn't physical. Dog. All right.

I'm okay. All right. Okay. Day. I just can't, the inauguration too is really making me. It's nervous. Not nervous. Makes me laugh.

Oh, okay. What's the band playing? Three Doors Down. Three Doors Down. Toby Keith. Toby Keith. Down. Yeah.

Some girl. The Rockettes. Half of them. A 16 year old white girl. A 16 year old white girl who's like an opera singer or whatever. Yeah. And that's it. Oh, I know.

The rest is up. What about all those? Bruce Springsteen cover band. What? Cover band? Yeah. That's hilarious. And they're built, they're built in the front page of it.

Oh, shit. Like, Obama can get Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen. The actual guy. Obama got Eddie Vedder to warm up the crowd at his farewell speech. Not even televised. Eddie Vedder was just warming up the crowd. And there is something about, I'm sorry, I'm going to say this.

I don't want to talk about politics on my show. We did it on the Legend Day. It was really upsetting. We cried and stuff like that. But I try not to talk about it. But there is something to say that the A-list stars of the world won't play his inauguration. What about country from Western guys, no? That's not the elite, though.

Is he the elite of that? Toby Keith is just real old school country. Yeah, but he's not, he's who's the biggest country Western song? Blake Shelton. I mean, yeah, you have Blake Shelton. You have, like, there's a lot of guys, I think, who are way bigger than Toby Keith now. Yeah. But who probably wouldn't play just because it's a little bit too...

And fine. If it was Toby Keith and five other name acts, I'd be like, yeah, he's... But if Toby Keith is the guy. That's it. Of your whole inauguration, it's sad. Yeah. And it's pitiful. I mean, what about all these red state musicians, no?

Yeah, but look at the... I like Dixie Chicks. They're not fucking liberal. Of course not. There's a lot of them. There's a lot of them that also they don't want to get... I'm sure there are people that want to, but they know the consequences. It's not a good look.

It's not a good look. And there's something to that that like, so why isn't it a good look? Let's explore that because he is misogynistic, a little racist. He caters to white nationalists. And there's a lot of things that, you know what I mean? He's in cahoots with Putin. There's fucking some shit that we don't even know about that's happening. So it's like their reputations will be on the line.

And to me, that's just embarrassing to have that as our fucking president. Is Jennifer Holliday still going to do it? No, she's back out. She's back out. And she needs the gig. She does. When's the last time you heard of Jennifer Holliday? I know.

Do you get paid for that? I thought she was dead, son. Do you get paid for that? She backed out of that thing. Probably. Great move, though. Great PR move to actually accept. And then...

Oh, Jennifer Holliday's alive. I should book her for something. Oh, shit. No idea. And then that DJ you had never heard of? What was this? Oh, this guy, DJ Ravi drums. Yeah.

He's playing there? And he's in some Pacific Beach club that he's doing. They have a photo of him like that. And it's like, we've never heard of him. That's crazy. Steve Aoki, yeah. That'd be cool. This guy?

Then a nah. And it's just so embarrassing. It's a Steve Aoki cover band. So Bobby asked me this question yesterday. Now, if you were invited to sit front and row at the inauguration, would you go? Would I? Yeah. You get to, you're like going to be right next to Trump.

They just want you there. Nobody knows me like that. So I could go and then write a set about it. Yeah. You know what I mean? But if I'm Steve Harvey, I don't think I would have met with him the other day. Yeah. If I'm not in status.

Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't. Yeah. I just, would you go? I would go just so the camera would pan, like pan across and then see like just my, you know, like, scalp. Yeah. I would make a face with Pilaila.

Yeah. For the sake of like a viral clip or a guess, I would do it. Yeah. I don't think I could go because I would, I would also. I feel like you would. No, I wouldn't even know who to talk to though. I don't know any of that. What if you asked you to MC the inauguration, the presidential inauguration?

There's no. What's the price? What's your price? And what's your price? How much money would you have to? Three million. I've turned down gigs that were better for me for good money. So yeah.

So I definitely wouldn't do that. Yeah. So you're, you're a man of integrity, Bobby. What about you? I don't, I, I've been offered shit too and go to China for this. I don't do it. I don't want to do it. It's good money.

I don't care. I don't want to go. I'm kind of picky anyway. Yeah. I mean, I only do comedy clubs that are like A list, A rooms and I know that the conditions are going to be right for me. And I'm too, too. Lazy.

Lazy. And that's shit. I would say get me. Yeah. I wouldn't. Five minutes into that set. Yeah. That's not true.

I mean, I find you to be, um, not offensive at all in your act. Oh, for real? No, I really do. I look at your act. I know what you're saying because you say things, right? That are, I guess, but to me, I think those things, so maybe to me, they're not shocking. I get it. I get it.

I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it.

I get it. I get it. I would say if you were that offensive, you wouldn't be playing any of the clubs in LA, I don't think. Because yeah, I think people, I know I do run into people that do think I'm offensive. What? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Some audiences make like this is like, to me, what I'm saying, I would like it to be normal, yeah, but it's not to some people. Yeah. because they have phony values and you know some people just full of shit it's so funny that you say that because it's like there are some bits that I do I literally think that they're so funny but I can when I tell them on stage sometimes I know that the audience just completely hates it and uncomfortable

like that joke about Monica and David that I do about Down syndrome people making making love how they have to make it up make up the moves they touch bugs for like three minutes and stuff like that yeah I mean stomp things like that right and I I'm telling it I'm bent over touching the butt with the other guy right and I'm looking at the audience like making a face going come on right and I can tell that they're really just like not I think that would kill at the inauguration I'd pay you to do the inauguration yeah that'd be great if they said if they said you can do any jokes that you want oh my god then we

would do it yeah would you do it like co-headline with me 10 minutes a piece nor we bomb I know but it'd be so fun we would laugh on stage together I would sit there like Indians out watching yourself right and everybody will fool you and let me just laughing I mean that'd be great I hope it's too late there's no way to talk about here but that would be so scared you know scared I'd be yeah I'd be terrified I mean him and I back there going you open you I did a gig with Mike young and Mike young set it up it was in Venice you know Mike young yeah right and it was on a rooftop in this like beach house in Venice and they

had a mic and speakers on the roof and then below right below there was a pool party just during the day too right and there was hundreds of hundreds of people there was a DJ and then they go and I was supposed to go first and then Mike young was supposed to go second so I go up and I was up and they turn the music off and they're everyone's kind of looking up at me and then I do my set I'm bombing so fucking hard anyway this next guy he's a friend of mine he actually told me to do this gig Mike young and I turn around he had left what he left the fucking game yeah and I didn't talk to him for a year I mean I

was so livid that like number one you set it up right number two you leave me did you get paid yeah I don't remember I don't remember but like that was the biggest portrayal I've ever seen that's fucked up yeah it's fucked up yeah I did a gig like that at Paramount Jamie Masada set it up yeah yeah so it's like they're right studios at the studios on a Saturday night like everybody's on the lot they have like an outside like dinner party yeah and so the stage is here yeah there's this huge fountain yeah in the in the middle yeah then there's a space yeah which is a dance floor and then people are back here eating

so then I've done those yeah so then there's like five comics yeah so who are they can be the comments can't remember their names I'll try to remember they have you heard of them before yeah yeah they do shows of them all I bet Jerry Bedknap was one of them okay I think me and him were last all right and then somebody goes up bombs eats it yeah like nothing bring the other person up bombs eats it nothing then the third person goes up and I think I'm next yeah that person bombs eats it nothing yeah and then the lady who Jamie made the show it comes up to me and Jerry and said this isn't working out here's your

paychecks we're gonna end the show right here oh wow and then then the other guys came over yeah and we was like yeah so what we don't have to deal we like hang out and eat and then we and our careers weren't ruined because they had to like go home and hope everybody would forget it was a great stopping point for the show was Jamie there no he wasn't of course he wasn't there and I wasn't mad at him after I didn't take the money we use how about the three but watching the three comics you're probably scared like what am I gonna do what am I gonna yeah yeah for sure it wasn't it wasn't I don't understand why people

do that like there was birthday parties at like the country club yeah I had one remember oh my god how do you wrangle people in and be like everybody know if you know I get invited and I did a nightclub and I know it was a country I used to do it was a country club right I'm like a millionaire right goes I like him can you do comedy in my was a bachelor party what was it birthday it was the birthday right so I show up and people you're really like people are dancing you know seats no seats people just dancing right and also all right comedy and I go to Gilbert I go fucking open he doesn't even do stand up at the

time minutes of just bullshitting to people who don't care right yeah I was there it was terrible it was like wrangling cattle because her though she was laughing he had to say come closer come this way yeah come sit down or do something yeah it was great for me I was just cry laughing in the back and then I went up and I don't know what the fuck I did but you didn't do your full set you got naked I got naked right away really quick because the money was so good right I had to do something I couldn't say they were really nice so nice if I couldn't say I don't want to do it mm-hmm you can keep the money right

because it was like such easy money I had to do what I'm sorry did you do 1050 minutes 40 minutes bad I don't even remember I I know you blocked it out I you block it out yeah I know how to do it we're like this ain't going well so I just go to the easiest jokes that I have mm-hmm the switches right some of the jokes I don't even tell anymore really and then you go right into the getting naked mm-hmm and then it's you shut the fuck out of everybody you get to the shot yeah you shut the fuck everybody I don't know what the fuck happened and then you'd run and grab the chat and you run out it's robbery yeah when I was in

New York like we used to do clubs a lot like dance clubs stop the music yeah and yeah and people gather around and you try to and that's why what like I was a different comic in New York to get louder your dreadlocks yeah when I used to just like yell everything just to get the audience's attention right and and then keep it you know and then like at least scare them into not heckling yeah it's funny that you say that because I know that Joe when Rogan when he was in Boston he wasn't doing clubs he was like doing like bars and stuff like that and he learned to really like techniques to get an audience on his side one of them

was which I had never heard at the time was you instead of going that way right you go the opposite way or you start kind of talking softly yeah so that then people kind of stop talking just to listen to what you're saying and which was an interesting you would think that your gut instinct would be to go talk over them right but he told me that right and I know a lot of comics that started in the East Coast that started with more of an aggressive style because that's the conditions that they were in right you know whereas I started in San Diego yeah but I did learn that technique though like like when I do

shows in England yeah like it's like a bar culture and if you yell they'll talk louder so they can hear themselves talk yeah but if you speak so so you raise they raise you raise but if you speak low then they'll be aware and conscious of how loud they're speaking and they'll take it down whoa and then you could get people right and it's like it feels like the weirdest thing to do but it does work yeah yeah I ever play South Africa no never I wanted to go I did it how was that and when I flew in there like the lady that was in charge of the festival said listen I told you know that and I'd never heard of this before Asians are

third-class citizens in South Africa people oh yeah and go oh I've never heard of that before yeah so so I'm telling you right now like if we played 2000s theaters okay and I did 30 shows and the line up was good it was like Pablo Francisco me here a Stefanovich I think she's very funny yeah she's yeah she's Matt funny yeah and Ryan Stout more Mandel and Trevor Noah and but this is before Trevor Noah Trevor Noah and I killed because they had because they were scared because I was Asian right so they put me up first or second which was to me like all right that's great for me you

know and I would go there like just I just because I you'll do 10 minutes so so just can that's everything just you know kill and then we would do meet and greets afterwards and in front of like just regular people that's paid like extra you know for the bonus package yeah the comics the VIP not one time did anyone look at me and say we think you were funny all right I would be in front of everyone and everyone would get compliments and I would just sit there and not one what part of South Africa was this that was in Johannesburg yeah so what color was the audience that Pete paid for the VIP like no they're nice

people offstage right I just didn't get any compliments and are you exaggerating this because I'm glad he did that I'm glad he challenged me in that way just now because now you get to see how you get to see what I have to do man well you said I'm saying are you sure yeah let me tell you something do do I honest person do right and I live life and experience thing right my soul right and my senses and I perceive it in the most honest way and I relay it in the most honest way and for you to challenge me like that in front of my so you've never been a little neurotic yes you're saying yeah I'm neurotic he

creates problems in his mind yeah sometimes yeah whoa man that's a back stat that's plan B by the way don't ever back a plan B I'm planning he's right about that you're right yeah my neurosis yeah okay let me say something right now right last night I did the improv I did all weekend at the Irvine improv right and I know I know that I'm good I know that my show was good and I know that when people say man that was a great show I can I know I really genuinely know all right there are times when you see me in the original room where where I am a little neurotic because you're like it's more of a

competition right there's a lot of comics there you don't want to you know you just want to say face right but in this fucking circumstances fucking Africa bro right is the real legit fucking thing man all right so fucking shit so I can't ask you a question you can ask me anything about about if your neurosis came into play all right maybe maybe it was a factor a little bit but my point is I'll change I got blowjob every show guys no I really did experience that and I got mugged there too get the fuck yeah I got mom are you sure again what happened I walked out of my hotel room at

like 3 p.m. and you know who Ian bag is yeah yeah so Ian bag goes I'm gonna go across the street to get something to eat like a cigarette or whatever he was getting mm-hmm so he runs across the street like okay I'll stay here and this is a like a five-star hotel right it is in Cape Town now mm-hmm all of a sudden I'm just on the ground oh right and in the hotel no I'll right outside the hotel like outside when tourists are walking by mm-hmm whatever two guys pull me down onto my belly mm-hmm and one guy has his knee on my spine and they're rifling through my pockets because it's funny

it's hilarious why why why because you're alive and you're here to tell the story oh that's true but but that is bananas now like I heard about South Africa and I heard that they assign you like the people go with you anywhere like bodyguard yeah did you guys have him no I'm not surprised I'm not surprised you got Rob we had this guy who was in charge like the bodyguard of the whole group oh that's not enough but during the day you know you just figure and I think they figured they told us what streets not to go down whatnot right but in the area that we are in in general and then it was two Africans that black

eyes that did it right and then you can't go the please because your agent they're not gonna believe you or not there not only that right now only that it's like how do you do you know I mean like in a second how do you describe right right you're on you're on your stomach yeah yeah so what they take my blackberry and some cash and no one like came to your rescue and then people were just walking by watching this yeah and then you yell help or anything yeah then Ian ran across the street he saw them yeah I don't think he there's another thing that I have with him I think he took a little too long I think he saw the

whole thing I think that he watched the thing whole thing and then he's slowly walked across you yeah you might be me and then he was like whatever I go you saw what happened Canadian bastard yeah yeah yeah you don't expect a Canadian to get involved in that there's no way but you know you remember mugged no yeah but uh one time right we are being some friends I drove my car to Manhattan to meet up with some other comics right and so I go meet them and we do a show so now I'm gonna give everybody a ride back in my car we get to my car there's somebody sitting in the car really yeah see how I just left there right that's

funny so and your mind does crazy things like when they held you down on the ground what was flashing through your mind so many things flashed through my mind in like one instant it was crazy you don't know I've been in situations like that before in terms of like like fucked up situations and you literally go I can't believe this is happening surreal it's surreal yeah yeah cuz like dredelins flowing through your body yeah cuz I have a friend named Roger and we all do and I was like oh we all have a right I'm like oh that's Roger sitting in the car he just met me there and it's probably him in the car but I'm like

then I'm like how the fuck would Roger know where you parked yeah why were Roger being in your car how did he get in your car yeah my mind tried to smooth the whole shit out immediately and like and then I like nah that's a stranger in your car holy fuck sitting there's three of us you didn't lock it it was locked oh there's three of us and we rolled up on the dude yeah and then talent he's tall as shit that's his name yeah his name is talent yeah it's a comic from New York and you know he rolls up rose he goes like with like now we surround the car and then tell us like hey man wind down the window so he does this like one wine yeah

yeah like like it was it like it was an old car he had to do a wine I mean that's a really old car so yeah yeah yeah and so he's like yeah can I help you like it's his car and it's crazy yeah he's not crazy he's just caught so then towns like what are you doing in the car he's like I didn't take nothing so town's like wind the window all the way down so then he does and in town just punches him and disorientates him so that he can't do anything and then we open the door and we take him out and then we beat him up a little bit did you really yeah you kicked him well I held him it was like it was like the movies like one

guy holds one arm yeah and then everybody beat him up and then we then we took his shit we just robbed we deserve it we deserve it you rock set of keys that could open any car door and I took those like a bunch of GM keys and just keys that can open anything because he didn't break my door that's the first time my car got broken into and the door handle wasn't wrecked afterwards that you just he just waltzed into that mother wow yeah we just took his key so I guess you didn't call the cops nah right we don't snitch street street justice yeah yeah yeah that's amazing who was he gonna complain to you're sitting in

somebody's car that's crazy yeah some lady go into your car while you were inside it yeah that's two weeks ago I was at rap no raps righted mm-hmm in the parking lot mm-hmm and then I'm just I put the put the you know start the car mm-hmm and I in my peripheral I know there's someone else in the car and I look over and there's like a white homo city and she goes yeah like says something crazy like doesn't speak English yeah back at her yeah that's how I did it and then she started go bye I go bye and I get out I could get out mm-hmm and she left and she's just walked on how'd she get in your car well I was

just like sitting there I think I was playing like some city in the car I was in the city yeah city it's playing some city mm-hmm and I heard the door open mm-hmm and then I look over and then she was there oh I don't know her fucking living circumstances fucking Gilbert all right you dick-sucking Filipino have you lost weight this week you look like you lost weight since last week we shamed you yeah they body shamed me I didn't eat like lunch twice this week well he used to be like 250 pounds you know when that stereotype Asians have flat faces you're definitely the stereotype I mean I

just looked at your faces now holy fuck it's like I hop why is like a pancake like a pancake just it was a good pancake no it's like those German lemon pancakes that they have you hardly have any dimensions yourself yeah but yours is longer of dimension it's fine so sorry I bet so the inauguration and then that's it that's our society our society is it's fine it's gonna wait four years it's fine four years we could we can write that out right you guys hopefully another four years possibly there's no way I don't think that that I'd be shocked but the Republicans are gonna push and try to get it yeah they just I just don't

understand how you can take insurance away from 30 million people and not replace it I saw something today he said he's gonna make insurance for everybody and make it cheaper I don't know I mean the reason why the Obamacare is the way it is is because that was the really the only way they could have done it really for it to get past I think right exactly it's like it's not like they were helping it to work so much opposition against your thing so you have to make compromises and all that stuff and then they act like this is the original plan right that yeah I mean the original plan we want to be like Canada and England

where every single person gets free health care right I think that's everyone's drawbacks to their form of universal health care it's you none of none of no form of universal health care is without cracks but you know Obamacare is so brand new and they did have to make a lot of concessions because all the Republicans were against them right off the bat right on his first day of being you know president but I think you know you have to also admit that Obamacare has deep deep cracks there's a lot of things wrong with it like what I mean for instance you know for me somebody who goes in and

out of the emergency room a lot I wasn't even able to see or to have a bed in the emergency room because we don't even have the infrastructure to support that many people having or being insured it's as simple as that where it's like but no I'm just saying just a simple simple it's an inconvenience no no no but that's just one of the many things but it is a great place to start and I don't think that you should get rid of something that was headed in the right direction to fix it yeah just fix it yeah yeah I'm all for fixing it yeah all right but I'm not also all but they don't want him to have the credit like

the Republicans while Obama was in office they'd rather destroy the country just to make him look bad then have a good country yeah and that's on patriotic yeah I was watching the special on the Obama legacy and as he was giving his inauguration speech they were all in like the top Republicans were all in a room together and vowing to make sure that they block him at every single point yeah exactly how does that help us they'd rather see the plane come down yeah I saw that help him pilot you know that thing too and I realized that gun laws in this country are never gonna change because if Sandy

Hook didn't change it nothing will if little kids getting shot didn't change gun rights in this gun laws in this country nothing's gonna change it do you believe that that happened yeah I believe it I was in Connecticut that weekend oh really yeah you were yeah I just show you know that casino Fox Woods oh I hate that room this is I fucking hate that room yeah it's just the worst room that mall it's like a you know yeah but it's big right yes yeah and oh I hated the theater or the club there's a comedy club I did the comedy club too but I got there I got there Thursday and you know you traveled to the East

Coast you're a little disorientated so the Thursday show had like it's all usually the weakest show of the of the weekend so I had like 40 people there you know and they were a good crowd so then I go to sleep you know first you know the owners were cool we went bowling we had fun that night I go to sleep I wake up and boom the shooting it was like on a Friday right yeah so then so then it took a while to rip for me to realize that oh shit I'm in Connecticut and this place is close like how close was it I don't know but you know Connecticut felt it the most you know right yeah cuz you know when you're going to Foxwood

casino you're not leaving for the entire weekend and everything you need is there right Jim anything I remember that yeah so then you feel disorientated and you don't even realize oh shit I'm in Connecticut yeah and then the show Thursday that I thought was gonna be the lightest show of the weekend became the most packed show of the weekend oh wow like so people were just so affected by it by it yeah they didn't come out I had like 10 people 12 and then you couldn't mention it either yeah cuz I didn't know what to say so yeah there's no way you can mention it yeah it's the most horrifying not enough time that elapsed

even create an even remotely cheerful you know yeah and then there are like nutcases like like that believed that it was all a conspiracy right like white flags yeah anyway where we at now over an hour we did yeah oh my god I went before though I'm not because we do we wrap it up with questions all right but before we do with that even Ian I want to say this number one thank you so much for doing my podcast number two we're fuck friends for life fuck friend like fuck friends like we're not friends for life no we are friends for life we fuck we don't physically we fuck spiritually no no

you fucks with him we fuck with each other there you go yeah we fuck with each other that's what I meant that's what I meant George yeah and I also want to say this is that I when I was in the 90s I don't 90s maybe early 2000s whatever I was watching HBO and I was watching that comedy jam it was I think was bad boys a comedy it was a bad boys a comedy was one of those things right and I saw Ian go up and he was so funny in it I literally thought to myself I want to say I want to be around these types of people you know he was literally I want to be around people that are like our killers you know I

mean that also you know he's Jamaican you know there was something about him that was different and then he has no hair anymore but when I met him the bald Ian years later and we're friends and it's like it's really a cool thing we didn't get it you're how long you were born in Jamaica and how long did you live there till I was nine okay so you know no no I was born in England I lived in England till I was like 17 oh wow cooler yeah you were born in England cool that's an international man of mystery and then you went to and then and then when did you come to the States I was 17 17 wow what was that like what

the states just being like a young black man coming from England then Jamaica and then to what is it straight to New York yeah long hours a little confusing like you have to refine like like every day you wake up in Jamaica you got friends everybody speaks the same words you everybody has the same culture we eat the same food yeah and then next time you're in a country and even the black people don't talk like you don't dress like you don't sound like you're in a culture is different yeah so you gotta catch up and you know me I see this how long you've been Jamaican no not to make it there was a call the one the guys

that are weird the vegetarian oh you're a vegetarian you're vegan vegan vegan yeah maybe like 12 years now you will not eat in any kind of like if I went let's go Korean barbecue you can't do it no but I went with some friends the other day and like that it was like a chicken place it was very tempting it was yeah yeah yeah yeah I would never do that to you what made you a vegan or choose to be a vegan I just like when I was a kid like like KFC right was fucking delicious it was amazing just chicken period and then somewhere along the line like and it's like when you're a kid you want when you like when you it

was a special thing KFC was like we getting KFC yeah yeah I don't know if that's because of how broke we were yeah yeah yeah so when I grow up I'm just gonna have when I have my money I'm gonna have KFC and then and I did that and I said this doesn't taste the same yeah and then and it wasn't the ingredients that they changed the actual chicken but they have to make so much meat for so many people like all these restaurants around here get them food they cheat yeah putting hormones and stuff and that shit it's not healthy I'm somebody even sent me this thing on my phone there's this inside a chicken guy

right yeah who like he's he's whistle-blowing on the chicken department and he's like he's like he takes the reporter into the chicken coop and he's like this is what they call free-range chicken there's no cages they're all in here but there's like a thousand chickens in this room yeah and that's how they skirt the law and then and then they they don't call the hook the growth hormones or the whatever they inject or feed it the animals anymore what they what the FDA says they can't use they call it something else so but they still feed the chickens right the same thing they just have found a way to skirt and

then and then they're the ones that the FDA sends them a checklist of things that they have to comply with yeah and they're the ones that fill it out they don't come down there and check it out well that is just a bogus organization anyways so then they do it and then it's like it's like us great in our own papers yeah what we're gonna give ourselves yeah so it's like yeah but I wanted I wanted I don't want to eat it anymore either but I just can't stop I mean it's fine like and you don't have to stop like sometimes if you don't eat it as much as you do then that's fine like I would never tell anybody to just

stop well now you do you used to hate them I don't want to eat them anymore I just I want to be friends with the animals all of them yeah even the chickens yeah I want to be friends I want life to live they have every right to live and I eat the fuck out of them and I don't want to anymore there's nothing nothing even sways his anything that he does anymore we watched a documentary called at the fork and it was a chicken while he watched it well immediately yeah he at that moment he feels you know sympathetic to the animals at that just exact moment but it's so quick as soon as the

documentary is over does that make me a bad person though you know does that make me a bad person no not at all are you a vegetarian no I just don't eat the fuck out of me last night what kind of meat do I eat cow no but I'm very careful about like where I get if I do eat beef where the beef comes we're that shabu shabu place you think that was the freshest place I do make exceptions like you know twice or three times a month we go to Korean food and you know I eat that I don't know where it comes from but if I have to shop it myself I'm very much I'm very aware of you know making sure that she's good

about the eggs they have to be free like real free range I'm good about the butter to the butter she's really good about yeah but it's really hard to be healthier around it's tough it's just tough period because even when you're trying to be healthy you don't know if these labels are correct it's just tough man it's just people trying to make money out here yeah and it's so because we are such a big country it's so hard to regulate something that like in a country like Norway they have everything all the labels in Europe then you can eat all your meat and not feel bad yeah and really yeah yeah but it's easier to

operate in small and just like that yeah I mean yeah I mean let's let's just say this okay I'm not gonna stop just cried I just cry I know I cried but I'm not gonna stop you shut a tear for the cow you're good you know I feel I just want I want the world and God to know that I feel right and I think that's good enough right we also just don't utilize the whole animal here in the United States like I make necklaces out of the chicken bones I was hopeful advice we do an email answer questions okay on helpful advice with Bobby Kalala and Bobby's fuck friend I grew up in an alcoholic abuse of

household and now as an adult it seems I can only seek out psycho girls who need rescuing Allah strippers married women abused girlfriends etc I have great times with them in parentheses sex but has been dangerous at times yikes what say you oh wise ones I've had sex with hookers without condoms that I know we know I'm just saying I have genital war it's not I've literally lived day I'd stick my dick in furnaces like I've done dangerous yeah yeah like I don't give a fuck right so I in my 20s in my 30s I have put myself at risk so many times I've been in many dysfunctional relationships and I think that's through

age and through time though and I didn't grow up like my dad was an alcoholic my dad used to beat me too but I think just over time you just kind of grow up and go you know what I kind of know what I need and I want and you realize that sex and all that kind of stuff is just you know me like flings it is amazing it's fun and exciting but it's like you know I'm fulfilling and I have something deeper with Kalilah you know and that's the route I've taken you know and it's a healthy this guy's question is why is he doesn't understand time he might if he goes to therapy and you know and he tries to work on

himself that he might result he's got to work on it if he's a young man in his 20s like why not like that's that's your time to actually make all the mistakes and you know seek out different types of people from all walks of life you should expose yourself to as many types of women as possible you can't just you know be 21 and be like I'm looking for the perfect girl no you should date as many shitty people or you know as much as you can just and it's the only way to eventually figure out what exactly that you want right and I figure like both of your answers are right just be careful being not careful yeah just add that

yeah give me another question hello tiger by I'm 24 year old guy that has zero game the Asian version of PD that's George over there so hit the version of you well I am looking at that t-shirt now for the first time I've been dating my first girlfriend for six months now and she is a handful she's ungrateful unappreciative selfish and at times but I still love her that's it I however am a fucking sweetheart I don't have I don't have the guts to tell that she needs to calm down and just be nice to me for once how do I approach this one you just have to bite your tongue and

just go through it I'm in the shit that we go through shut the fuck I'm putting my fucking foot down for what I go through you get your ass wipe you get fed in bed who wipes my ass I want my own fucking finger all that you have to deal with it's like you swallow it so basically get yourself an Asian woman bro you just have to accept it and just pray and not snap and just go that you're the you know that you're the good one you know that you're the good one you know that she's acting the way she's acting right and you just have to accept that but there's nothing you can change about her

because that's the way she is I love how it's just impossible to believe that the woman's actually the same person in the relationship is that so hard to believe what are you getting angry for me I'm just nothing to do with it has nothing to do with I never fuck the dude recently as a reason and also on top of that fuck you this is that I'm just saying that it has nothing to do with our relationship I'm just responding to his thing all right so I'm just saying in your situation I know that your girl is acting insane and homicidally and like unreasonable and you have to just kind

of go swallow it and go that's who she is I say man up tell her give us some warnings and if you don't respond to them but that's the thing how do you warn her though you see that just talk to her nicely hey you know hey you know and I and I haven't always been good at like communicating but this is a great opportunity to communicate yeah you know and and like say hey man this is not fair you know this is fucked up and she may or may not respond and like why are you dating somebody it doesn't care anyway also don't listen to any ad words because I'll tell you why all right this guy's a fuck machine what that's what

I've been told well you gave I'm just saying you I'm just saying let me just say this right now I want to say something to you right now what I'm not gonna say your name I'm gonna say that she's young very pretty right and to any normal guy your age because you're 50 what alright she's 19 you're 50 what you be like you be like ah nah and I'd be like great thing you don't exaggerate I'd be like so you sure you sure nobody came up to you in that show in South Africa all I'm saying is is that he's not the right guy to get you know advice from I don't know like like how far I mean how

how far you'll never be that you'll never be a 50 year old fucking it's a machine I'm just saying how far is is is he gonna be is he unhappy how old is he first of all we gotta know the age bro my thing is 24 but I'm a sweetheart but most girls around that age I like that so you guess another one he says that right and how come he doesn't get his head bit enough what do you mean most women that age are like yeah because I was we're all yeah we're raging alcoholics at that age we just want to fuck and every once a while for a couple months you know it's just sometimes they don't grow out of it

so uh you know that's great that's I'm gonna see this right now so I think we're very blessed to have Ian Ian here and my fuck friend we keep saying that that's your 50 year old I love you so much and I want to say I love you back but I want you to take it the wrong way so um you have your podcast right right which what's it called it's called the soccer comic rant so the soccer all things comedy we're still with them with them too all things comedy soccer you were you were just on it I know I loved it all right and I went to your serial killer house give her a serial killer house I do how everything

is like in place and everything in orderly and I got a table a couch it's very like and TV yeah before before I moved in this place was just a big pile of shoes right that's just all it was and like like dead women shoes yeah and just pictures like old photographs actual like photographs of like him like spreading hookers ass we got to see if they took those pictures of you the other hooker I do like three or four video TV audio audio department anyway God bless America you have any shows I was I'll be at the comedy store this week yeah your Instagram and Twitter you know it was comic football yeah I'm

gonna be at the Laugh Out Loud San Antonio this weekend next weekend he's gonna be at the Addison improv and then I get a week off because I need it because it's fun too yeah have you already sent through 12 San Jose improv yeah and then 15 through the 17th Schomburg improv and then after that you're in Ontario improv sketch yeah and then that's it on top of it thanks guys I like this relationship follow us on Instagram and tiger belly on Twitter at that tiger bell or emails any questions like these folks at the tiger belly at gmail.com and you can follow Kalalo in all social media at Calamity K and have a good one guys. Hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on Amazon music download

the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey