TigerBelly - Episode 77: The Slept King
Episode Date: February 1, 2017Bobo is the opposite of woke. Khaloko calls out the king. Gilbo gets throat punched by Jackie. We talk Miss Universe, Almodovar, and a mainline to heaven.See Privacy Policy at https://art1...9.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Two. One.
You're just like a movie.
You're just like a song.
When we were young.
When we were young.
Yeah.
Yeah, plop plop plop plop.
Yo, dawg.
I'm here, baby.
Baby.
Yo, man, I no longer be Lee in this house.
Who you are?
Yo, you know, you heard about the Woke King.
You heard about the Woke King.
Yeah, everyone knows about the Woke King.
No, I ain't woke.
I'm Slept King.
Oh, shit.
I don't know if you know this or not, but I am the Slept King.
I'll tell you why. I don't know what's going on.
I'm not aware of what's going on.
And yet I know everything.
I don't sleep.
I don't know anything.
Slept King is somebody who is not aware of anything,
but has the most to say.
That's wise.
I don't like the way you said it.
The way you said it sounds ignorant.
Ignit.
Yeah, I don't want to sound ignorant.
All right.
No, I am the Slept King.
And listen, guys, I was in Dallas and I've been on the road.
And I just wanted to say what's up to my peeps in Dallas.
You know, I've never done well in that room.
I haven't played that room in four years.
And I, you know, I decided to try.
And yeah, man, it was good.
Couple of them, three of them.
Yeah, and it's all because of TB fans, bro.
They came out and supported.
And I want to let TB fans know that if you come on a Saturday,
I'm not going to come out.
You know, people are like, they tweet,
come out to take photos or whatever.
I only do that shit on Sundays.
The last day, I'll tell you why.
Because if I go out on a Saturday,
you have people that aren't TB fans and they're like drunk,
big white people and they'll grab me.
They'll pick me up on my shirt and lift me up and go,
hey, man, you're funny.
You're right.
And I don't like that.
And people get drunk and they manhandle me and I'm small and frail.
Like I'm the Slept King, you know?
Slept King.
My muscles aren't developed.
Let him sleep.
I sleep.
My muscles haven't been developed.
It's like I've been in a coma.
He needs eight naps a day.
I need eight naps a day.
So when people manhandle me like that, I get scared, you know?
So on Sundays, if you come, then I always go out because there's only one show
and I give everyone hugs and fondle.
And dude, I sort of got fondle.
I don't know.
I fondle people.
But dude, I wanted to say this.
Sunday, this guy gave me a DVD.
It's in my bag.
I got to grab it because he wrote me a letter.
Grab it, grab it.
And I read it in front of the audience.
And then I nearly broke up.
It broke me up.
I got to go grab it.
Grab it.
You keep talking, keep talking.
Also, no, I wasn't in Dallas for reasons I cannot explain on air.
But can we not call ourselves TB?
Because that's short for like universally that's tuberculosis.
I know we had like a whole conversation about this.
We first started the podcast.
Just make sure we never said TB for that one reason.
TGB?
Like something but TB.
Because I don't want to be associated to TB.
TGRVLY.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bobby has a DVD.
So this guy, so this guy, this kid, he was in, he looked nerdy.
He looked skinny.
Kind of looked like a method.
I'll be honest.
But you know what I mean?
But if I looked in his eyes, there's softness inside his soul.
I can read that as Slap King and so I'm on stage and he goes, Hey, I brought you this DVD,
which is one of my favorite movies all time.
Troll and Troll 2.
Troll 2.
Oh, yes.
Troll 2.
Right?
Yeah.
And he wrote me this.
Can I read it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I read it?
I read this to the audience.
Okay.
Bobby, thank you for being an inspiration from one former addict to another.
Thanks.
Slap King, you've been through an overcome, makes me want to be a better person.
You rock.
You taught me that it's okay to be weird and to embrace it.
Ryan Russell.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so sweet.
That's okay.
Damn.
That's okay all day.
What's SK?
Slap King?
Yeah, Slap King.
Slap King.
How can, how can you, how can you?
I mean, I mean, it's like, it's, it's getting so real.
It's too real.
Is this toot your horn up?
No, it's not tooting.
No, I'm not tooting my fucking horn.
I'm not, I'm not tooting my horn.
That's rude that you would even accuse me of that.
What I'm doing is, you know, let me say something right now.
Okay.
Look at my finger right now.
Okay.
Okay.
Look at my finger right now.
Do you see my finger?
Yes.
What you don't see is God's finger touching my finger like this.
That's what you don't see.
Like in that painting.
Like in the painting.
Like in Michelangelo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
This is what you don't see.
Okay.
So I don't know if that's bragging, but that's where I'm at as a vessel for the Lord.
Wow.
Texas has really changed you.
I'm a Trump supporter now.
God.
Yeah.
I believe, listen, we got to get the terrorists out.
And if we have to vet a little bit, if we have to like put people in like, you know,
a little, a prison at the airport for a little bit.
So be it.
That's the price we pay for being Americans.
Secondly, we got to put the pipe like down as soon as we can.
Yeah.
Because we got to get all the animals sick.
Yeah.
All the animals sick.
And we got to wipe out the Indians.
We got to wipe out the Indians.
We got to contaminate the water as quickly as possible.
So we're going to build the fucking wall so that we can, as American tax taxpayers, spend
all our fucking money.
Yeah.
And that wall too, right?
On the wall.
It's not going to work, but we have to build it because I definitely, let's definitely
dispatch as much money as possible to the wall and while while Flint, Michigan, and
then also what I'm going to do, I'm doing a special fun to give Steve Bannon makeup artist.
Oh, I sort of fucking got, you're not going to get a makeup artist.
I mean, you look like, I didn't know that skin.
I mean, you can get skin aids.
Exclusive skin.
Exclusive skin.
He looked like Rock Hudson after he died.
I mean, he's trying to win a red dot contest on his face.
I just want to call it a red dot contest.
You see all the little red dots on his face?
Dude, you're on TV.
You're like, you're part of the government now.
Get a makeup artist, Steve Bannon.
You heard it from the SK.
SK in the house is saying it.
And Kellyanne Conway needs like a hairbrush or something or like a fine tooth comb or
some fucking pomade, just like pat it down a little bit.
Yeah.
You have three hairs left.
Just like pat it down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She does have three hairs left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I believe in Trump.
I do.
Wow.
Yeah.
I believe.
I went to Texas and it turned me around.
Let me say something right now.
Okay.
I was asleep for a very long time.
Exactly how long?
Exactly how long?
16 hours?
16 hours.
Okay.
Yeah.
Just to say, I was in Texas and I, this is guy named, I don't want to name his name, but
he runs the Improps out there, a couple of them.
Everyone knows him in the standup comedy universe.
And he told me that he voted for Trump in the car.
I almost jumped out of the car.
And then we did press and then we went to a restaurant and the owner of the restaurant
came and sat next to us.
Nice man.
I'm not kidding you.
Beautiful guy.
great restaurant, great food, beautiful wife, beautiful kids, and he, as his kids
and everyone walked away from the table, he looked at me and goes, Hillary's a
fucking cunt. I ain't gonna fucking vote for that cunt, right? And I looked in his
eyes and I went, that's real. Slapkick. Slapkick. That's gay.
Did you just do the usual yes and master? Because you were afraid of any type of
discussion. That's a danger, County. Listen, listen, when you, when you're
confronted with something this insane, to me, it's a nightmare, right? I mean, let's
be honest. It's, it's crazy. And then when you, you're confronted with people that
voted for him, you start questioning your own like sanity, really. Like, am I, am I
in an alternative universe? I mean, am I, am I thinking straight? That's what makes
me wonder too, why do I feel so correct in my thoughts? I feel so strong. I'm very,
I'm full of conviction about what I think is right and wrong, that it, it makes me
feel funny and strange that someone could have such completely opposing views
about humanity, about common decency or, because I'm so, but, but then again, it's
like, you know, what am I a product of? It makes me question really like, you know,
if there even is a fucking right or wrong. I mean, in my head, there is.
And it's I, oh yeah, 100%. I felt this, whatever you just said, I felt the same
exact way. Everything you've just said. Okay. But I also thought, you know, these
people in the Midwest are so scared of Muslims and so scared of Syrian refugees
coming to this country. But when ISIS ever attacks the United States, it's not
the middle of the country. It's New York, big cities. It's us. It's us, right? And
still we're voting for the Democrat. Like you're not even threatened. No one's
going to go to Dallas. The immigrants don't even go to you. They come to us.
Yeah. And if we're okay with it, maybe you should follow suit. Well, but when
presidents go to Dallas, they get shot in the head. Oh my Lord, Bobby. Did that not
happen? It did. Is that not happen? Slap King spoke. It happened. Okay. He just woke
everyone. I just woke everyone up. You know what I mean? He died there. He got
shot in the head. So it's like, who are you preaching to? That's all I'm saying.
And I want, I know we said we were going to talk about politics, but. But I like that
you're admitting that Texas is like turned you around and that you're. I'm a
different. I'm a red. He's fully red now because I want to live. I want to survive.
Now you just want to go with the grain. You know, you know, I don't, I'm not.
It's crazy. It really is crazy. When Bannon said, there's too many Asians in
Silicon Valley and you hear things like, is that a thing you said?
What? There's too many Asians in Silicon Valley. I think he was
referring to Indians in particular. Yeah. What's up? No, we get everybody from
him. Like the IIT that like has a PhD or master's degree from India. It's a brain
drain from India. That's the smartest thing to do. Yeah. Yeah, I could economy. Come
on. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good. George is agreeing. You're agreeing for once? Well,
because you went red. He went blue. Are you red or blue? Be real. He's green. I
know you're pink. He's orange. Pinkish. Oh, man, I'm a libertarian. So I've always
been like, I've always believed like something different than everybody else
around me. All I know is that, yeah, I'm probably wrong because everybody else
around me believes something different. So why believe strongly? But what is the
color though? Pinkish, pinkish, ish. Dark purple. Also shot out to fire in the
kid for having me on. Oh, yeah. That was a really. How was that? It was actually
pretty fun, man. It was really fun. And those two guys were in the pocket together.
And you know what? You know, when you I trust Brian as a comedy guy. Yeah. I mean,
I mean, we were all mad together. I mean, he was before me, but I've done stand-up
with him. I've been on the road with him. I've I know he's one of the funniest
human beings offstage, too. That you've you'll ever meet. I mean, you can ask
anybody. I mean, he rivals you. No, not even. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. Not even close
to him. Funny offstage. That dude is fucking fun. Very funny. Yeah. And a nice
guy. And Brandon, too, is a really nice guy. And we I needed the help. I think
that, you know, doing that podcast is going to help us and anything that helps
us. I'm going to do and it was a good experience. I love those guys. And I want
to thank them. You know, I've been doing a lot of podcasts, promoting Tiger Belly.
And here we go. I want to ask, you know, again, not two weeks in a row. Ask us again.
Two weeks in a row. Slap kick. Slap kick is talking.
Oh, he's got a tag line, too. It's just these. Yeah. And look at the finger.
No, he's already there. Oh, he's always there. You just the finger is always down
from God because he has two hands, right? So one of them is like running the
world. And the other one is just we're slept. We're slept. Yeah. Right. And I
everyone when I had the time day, I'll touch it. Right. He has a main line, too.
You have a main line to God to happen, right? And God wanted me to ask you guys,
what the fuck are you doing today? We you really want to know? Yeah. So today,
George and I finalized the merch order. Your website went down today. So I
updated it. I I called all your features and openers and I texted them now. That's
what that's the things we do. The busy work, the ugly stuff, the stuff you don't
want to do. Yeah, because I'm sleeping. Yeah. You know, because it's up can needs
to sleep. Yeah. All right. Thank you. That's not who I was asking though. He's
right there towards me. Yeah. I'm towards flat face. Would I do today or what? I
want to say this to you. Okay. You're a little busy body. Are you not? A little
busy. Yeah. Yeah. You get in your car, jet around. You do your little showcases and
your little improv classes. A little bit of lift here and there. Your lift every
once in a while. We're about to make money on this thing and you can tap into
the resources. I already fucking told you that. All right. Because you're part of
the family. Thank you. Right. But maybe your focus is elsewhere but the podcast.
I just need you to get one eye on my career. This is your career too. Yeah, it's
part of it. No, it is a big part of it. Okay. Okay. You're being very
confrontational. That's a good question. That's a good question for you. Yeah. Yeah.
Is this something that we can consider a career? It is. To me. Podcast is a thing.
To me. To me. Yeah. It's becoming more real as the days go by. Okay. Because I go
out there. Right. As a journeyman. As a prophet of sorts. Right. To touch the
people. Right. I hug them. Cheek to cheek. Body to body. Energy exchange. You
first say you're a Jesus. No. I didn't say that. But I do have a line up to
somebody. Okay. And the line is directed to me. And I'm a vessel. The coated axis
pipeline of God. That's what I would exactly call it. Yeah. Thank you. And I feel
that you're very talented. Look at me right now in my eyes. You're getting fat.
But that's fine. I thought you had it all. You really put a hard sit-com reversal on that one.
You know, you actually lost a little weight since we called you fat. Yeah.
Well, yeah. I started having lose weight for pilot season. So I'm no carbs again.
Yeah. Okay. But back to my main question, guys. Yeah. When people ask, like when people
ask me what I do for a living since like I don't, you know, not nursing anymore, I
still say everything but a podcast. What you should know. You have to say it. No. I
literally say like, oh, you know, I'll read this. Like I'm a swim instructor. I do
everything that I've ever done. This is what you do. Podcasting. This is what you
do. First of all, I'm going to say this, is that the reason why we have this is because
of you. I would not have it without you. I would not even know where to start. You're
the one that linked up with George. You're the one that got this fucking flat face in.
You're the one that like, this is your dream really. And um. But it's weird to say it really
wasn't my dream. I never thought. I mean, I don't know if people want to listen to us
talk about us, you know, but you know, that's just sometimes we have to do that. I clean
house and we have to really get things on the table, you know, and um, this is a government.
This is our little politics here, you know, and I'm the Trump in this situation. We know
that. Who am I? No, you're. Don't say Melania. I can do. You're definitely Melania. Why would
you be Melania? Yeah. Damn it. I want to be more useful. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're the girl
that wants her name. Kelly and Commonwealth. Okay, I can be Kelly. You're Steve Bannon.
All right. Because of your body, your spicer, your spicer, your spicer. I want to be a little
sun. Oh, no, no, no, you're not that, you're not that cute. Baron. Yeah. Gobi's Baron.
You're not. But it's just the last thing I want to say about Trump is it is funny that
he's only been in for two weeks and it's just so much chaos and fun. It really is. You know,
because I was obsessed with Bush. Like I was like, you know, even when like he lied to
the American people about weapons of mass destruction, we went into Iraq, caused a civil war. And
I feel like I felt like I was the only one. I mean, I'm trying to everyone knew about
it, but I felt like I was dwelling on it and I was putting a lot of my attention on it
and my feeling. And then when Brock came on, that stopped for eight years. I haven't really
thought about politics. And then now I'm back in like I'm like obsessed with it and it's
got my I keep checking the news and I check his Twitter. He's the first Twitter president.
It's great. And it's like, um, you do what's that one? Trump regrets. Trump regrets. What's
that? It's just the Twitter handle of they just retweet people, Trump voters who like
regret for Trump. It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah, it's called Trump regrets.
And a lot of it, a lot of it, though, is fake. Oh, I believe a lot of it's fake. As a lot
of those Trump bots are fake, too. I mean, I, um, I had to turn my brain off because
I had been dwelling on a few things too heavily over the past week. So I took a break and
I watched Miss Universe last night. Yeah. And Miss France, because she was the only,
the only person who actually answered a question. Yeah. You know, and I, and then all these
Filipinos are kind of like ragging on the Philippine contestant because English is not
her first language and she had the translator there, but she instead chose insisted to answer
in English and oh my God, I couldn't even look at the TV. I mean, Korea never makes
it. So sorry. Yeah, because we, we, we choose the, like a yellow stick figure. Like yellow
stick man up there. I mean, like, yeah, it's never hot. Yeah. But you guys, can we just
find the video of her answering Miss Philippine? I don't want to like surprise they chose someone
that doesn't speak English. So no, she is beautiful. You know, she's, that's a thing.
It's like, they always say like women empowerment, but it just sometimes doesn't feel like that
when you're watching. I mean, the woman who won Miss Universe, she's, she's a dent, she's
in dentistry dentistry. You know, these girls do stuff with their lives, but I'm saying
like how it's presented, like the optics of it doesn't feel like women empowerment.
You know, it's just, it's kind of like, it's just a multimillion dollar business, I think
that they just, you know,
But it's also, I don't, I don't, I forget it. No, I can't say it. Slap King. Orcas. Orcas
all. I'll say it. I'll say it as a Slap King. Okay. So it's not, it's not Bob. Hey, yeah,
I'll say it as a Slap King. I'm Bob. Bobby is one person. Slap King is another one.
How can you vote without seeing the vagina? You said this the last time. Slap King. You
can't say that. Slap King. I mean, if you win and they have a disaster down there, how
is that? That's only 90% good. Slap King. You can't say that. You might be worse than
Trump. Why? Why? Why? Because even he wouldn't say that. It's a truism, though. It's not
a truism. Wait, wait, wait. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you hitting me?
I hate that you just said that. All right, but you hit the Slap King, not Bobby. I don't
feel anything. You guys want to listen to her answer? No, but before we do, let's just
dwell on this for a second, just so that I can just get out of the way. And then we
can move on with that, okay? What was so wrong about what I said? That we should be judging
women by the look of their vagina, solely with the look of their vagina. No, no, no,
no. Did I say that? Like, how can you pick a winner? It's a part of it, right? Even if
it's 2% of it, right? Of the vote. Right. So if you're down to two women, they both
have pretty good answers. They're both very, very attractive, right? You should have like
a deadlock thing. Let's see if we're a vagina. And if one of them is like a flower and tight
and then one of them looks like fucking jazz hands, you go, we're going to do the flower.
What would be your three criteria? Oh, I mean, that's very important. Okay. First
of all, we have to know what it is. Sometimes you look at a vagina, it doesn't even look
like a vagina. So that's already, you're already eliminated. It's funny that your penis looks
like a vagina though. That's fine. He's, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not Mr. Universe.
I'm not Mr. Universe. I'm not running for that. You would be Miss Universe with your
vaginas when I'm saying, with a, okay, I love how you just paused. Yeah, yeah. I was, I
couldn't, I had to play hitter. Can I, can I play this? I'll play it. Okay, here we go.
Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. They rehired Steve Harvey? They rehired him? He fucked
up last year. It wasn't actually his fuck up. It wasn't. It wasn't? No, he did like
the whole story. And also I, I have a thing against him, but go ahead. Yeah, we talked
about it. I know, but fuck it. Let's go. Slipking though. It's weird that he doesn't find any
Asian men like, what, dateable, but he's in Asia. I know. The Filipinos are so forgiving.
They're like, yeah. Oh, it's shot in the Philippines? It's in the Philippines. This is why this makes
it more painful because I wanted her to use, if she just spoke Tagalog, she would have
killed it. Yeah. And then, but there's this idea that, oh, if you know, because Philippines,
you know, most people in the Philippines speak English, that she should answer in English,
but that's not true. Not everybody has access to private school. Not everybody can think
politics and culture in English. Everyone has baseline English back home, but not, not
enough English to discuss politics and culture, you know? It's like very, anyways, here we go.
Okay.
All right. What is the most significant change you've seen in the world in the last 10 years?
Let's talk about the translator for a second. That can't be any form of language on planet
earth. Can I just say right now, I hear a lot of Tagalog. That's not like Bobby's impersonation
of this. Okay, it's like this. It's like the thing. Shitting rocks. That's what it sounds
like. Oh, come on. All right. Go ahead. It's a beautiful language. Hold on. Hold on. The
question was. Yeah. I already know what the question is. Okay. In the last 10 years, what
is the most significant change? Yeah.
Here is, of being here in the world, is that I saw all the people bringing in one event
like this in this universe. And it's something big to us that we are one. As one nation, we
are all together. Thank you.
Jesus Christ. So the question was, let me just, I just need to figure this out. Now I forgot
the question. No, I was so thrown off. In the last 10 years, what is the most significant
change you've seen that we are one together in this world is basically our answer. Okay.
Here's what I want to do. We're going to do, okay, because you're on the spot, right? You
have 30 seconds to answer the question. Okay. Bobby, stand over there. You're Ms. Philippines.
Okay. Stand up. Come on. You have 30 seconds to answer this question.
All right. You're going to do any question? Yeah. No, I'm going to do the same one. Ready?
No, no, give me a, you know, because I already know my, so give me a difference. I want to
see how I can work under pressure. Oh, right. So, yeah, because they don't know the answer,
right? Yeah. So if I've already had time to think about the answer. So give me a question.
Okay. And then maybe I can figure it out. We'll do the final answer of Ms. Universe. Ready?
Uh-huh. Okay. Ms. Korea. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. Yes. Name something during the
course of your life that you failed at and that you learned from? When I was 18, I applied to get
a modeling agency and everybody said that I wasn't hard enough, that I wasn't cute enough,
and my figure was too not like a model. So I was going to quit, but I didn't. I knew that in my
dream, I wanted to do this. So I persevered and I took all the, you know, negative energy that
people were putting around me and I said, you know what? I'm a human being. I believe in this and I,
and I did it and now I'm here. Wow. Ms. Korea. Second question. That's pretty good though, right?
Hey guys, sorry for the interruption. We had a technical issue and the audio cut out for a bit.
The next part picks up on the tail end of a conversation about newspaper clippings from
Kalila Swimming Glory Days. You know, internationally and at that time, my parents
financially weren't doing very well. That's another one. And that's what like the papers
chose to use. Yeah. Let's choose the one that was. Oh, it also says Kalila shines in U.S.
Junior Swim Fest and then a picture of an old picture of me crying. That makes no sense.
Yeah. Shies. A lot road on more than just winning. So I used to get beat, you know?
So it was like, I know Asian parents are really rough. They're the worst. There's no,
there's not a moment to like chill and relax. Like it was all work and all grit and all hard work.
This is fucking awful. I don't really want to remember it. And maybe a lot of it has to do
with your heart condition, maybe even, do you think? Yeah. I think I wore my body to the ground
too early. You know, I've been doing, had been doing two a day since I was eight years old,
which is like way too young. But at that time, like they didn't know any better. So they're
just like, yeah, just make them work horses. And I used to have these like traps. Like I swear
to God, when I was 10 years old, I had the biggest traps in the world. I look like a little dude.
Just cause that's like, that's all I did. I woke up at five in the morning,
swam, went straight to school at seven, seven to four p.m. I'd go to school,
then to the weight room, then back to the water, come home at nine 30 p.m. do homework,
start all over again. Oh my God. I mentioned that. I'm a pussy. I'm the opposite in competition.
I remember a time when I was 12, I did a martial arts tournament. So we used to have to spar,
right? Yeah. You have to fight people. Yeah, this guy. I usually don't do on it because I hyperventilate.
It's not real. So I'm going to say right now, I was a liar as a child. Yeah. I, for some reason,
won or by default made it to the championship round. I had to find a girl named Jackie Olane
from Alabama, top competitor. I was so scared that after she hit me the first time. Yeah. Wait,
wait, wait. Stop. It's a girl. It's, they used to mix it at 12 years old. Yeah. They used to be
boys and girls. You lost to a girl. Let's not, did I lose? Just get ready for this. All right, let's
go. What happened was I got hit and then point. And that's, you know, they put the flags up. It's
like the karate tournaments. And then I didn't not want to feel embarrassed anymore, losing to her
or just fighting in general. Yeah. So what I started doing is when I'm, they say, fine, I go,
like you can't breathe. I can't breathe. And I just fake collapse. Yeah. And I remember
everyone like surrounding me to stop it. I look at the corner of my eyes. My mom, my mom goes.
Oh my God. Because she knows that I do this all the time on Saturdays during the sparring rehearsal.
So what'd you do? Oh, they just stopped the whole thing. She won. You're a fucking. So you pull out.
You just, you don't. No, no, no, no. Stop. Stop. That's the fucking saddest thing I've ever heard.
Yeah, I know. That's what you did. I had to survive. That you survived? So you had fear of
embarrassment. First, I didn't like getting hit. Yeah. I didn't like getting hit. This girl was
very dangerous. Let me see your. No, no, no. This 12 year old girl was a piece of shit. She's very
dangerous. She's a Christian based martial arts Academy. And they would pray. Oh, you laughing
out. You get punched by Jackie Olade, George. Can you find a photo of her now? Or maybe she
probably. A photo. Yeah. I'm so ashamed. Maybe we should get a different fucking guy. I need to
get a different engineer. That's fucking. Oh, I want to say this too before I forget.
That's that documentary about Rodrigo and Gabriela. You know who they are? I love them.
I don't know. Some music. You don't know who they are? Okay, they're, they're, it's a girl and a guy
and they play acoustic guitar. It's basically, they do some Metallica covers and stuff, but they do
just really hypnotic like music. They're always at the Hollywood Bowl. And they're huge. And they
do all the festivals and stuff. And it's just how they made it. And it's just so, it just, it makes
me feel, I cried when I watched it because these two kids from Mexico City, they at a time in Mexico
when they couldn't get a lot of albums because they were like in the seventies or like a boycott,
like a government boycott. So they had to smuggle in music. And these kids from like middle class
homes, one girl, Gabriela, who like would borrow somebody's guitar because she wanted to play it
so much. And this guy Rodrigo, who his brother and him played a lot, but and then they two,
Gabriela and Rodrigo met when they were young, like 13, 14 years old. They started a heavy metal
band, didn't work out. So they just decided to just play with each other. And they left Mexico
and they ended up in, they go, let's just go to Europe. So they were poor, no money. They're in
Ireland playing the streets, these two, right? And but there was somebody else playing in the
streets at the same time was Damien Rice. I love him. Okay. So Damien Rice is playing too. So then
they leave, right? And they also, when they would play, Damien would just sit there on the street
and just watch them play and go, Oh my God, these guys are so fucking like everyone dead.
They went to Denmark for a year to see if they can make it there. But then when they came back to
Ireland, Damien Rice had blown up. Yeah, he'd been a big star in like a year, a couple years.
And then they were playing it like walking on the street with their guitars and they ran
to Damien Rice. And Damien Rice goes, Hey, I don't know how to do an Irish accent, but try it.
Now I don't want to. Yeah. What? Lucky chomps. It's like the goats. Lucky chomps.
They said, Hey, open for me. And so they had all like, all the like the music industry of Ireland
was there. And these two, obviously they seized the opportunity and they just fucking rock the house.
And since then, you know, they got signed and they blew up, but it's like, they went from
playing basically street to festivals to, I mean, they're just amazing, right? And,
yeah, it's just, it was a real inspiring story when you come from nothing and you really try
hard for years. You go to different countries and you start from the ground up. Like being a street
performer is so difficult. Like Robin Williams to do it in the 70s. Chappelle used to do it
when he was 17 in New York. It's a hard racket to do, to get money from tips. But they, I mean,
it's just incredible. And now obviously they, they're back in Mexico living. They have mansions
and they're killing it in life. But you know, it's just a really good document. Do you think that
street performers now could still hit the lottery in that way? Oh yeah. You know what it is? Is
everyone that saw these two play were like, holy fuck. Yeah. So that's the one thing you need.
Undeniable. Yeah, you got it. You got to be good. You know. Yeah. Even if you're okay,
you could get lucky. But if you're good, like these guys were, like she, Gabriella,
they thought she was playing flamenco, but she was developing her own way of playing guitar.
And one of the guys from Testament is a band, right? Like a hard rock band was saying like,
yeah, she was a, like that she would play, but also do percussions on her, on the neck and the,
and the front of her guitar and that no one does that the way she did it. She developed that on
her own. So when you're innovating shit, you're a woman with the some guy and that you, and you're
just, they be practiced all day, every day. It's just amazing. Have you seen her them play? They're
amazing. They are amazing. Oh my God. But anyway, if you guys want to watch it, it's on iTunes and
whatnot, you know. Plugging these movies. You know, you should do your own movie reviews.
Movie reviews. Oh yeah, I could. I could. You know what I mean? Give me a movie. I'll review it now.
The Matrix. Really? Which one though? The first one. 1999. I give a Matrix the first one.
An A plus. Wow. For, for what? For, first of all, that, that, you know, I mean, you've seen a million
movies do it, but like that camera set up, they have where they have that, like, you know, when
they go around the body and they freeze and all that. That was the first time they ever did that
really. Right. So that's innovative in that stuff. And conceptually, it's a high concept movie. I
imagine watching The Matrix for the first time. Oh yeah. You don't know what the fuck is going on.
Right. And, and it's, it's, it's the delivery of that idea was almost perfect. And I'm glad
Johnny Depp didn't do it. You know, Johnny Depp was offered. And, and Will Smith and Will Smith.
Yeah. And, and they went to, you know, Keanu was the third one. He was perfect for it. He's good
in that movie. Oh yeah. Because there's like only, he only says a few things throughout Trinity.
But the whole movie. Like the Dutch bullets. But the, but the dojo, but the dojo scene. The first
one is so good. I mean, we've seen wire work, but we had never seen, I mean, here's where you saw
wire work for the first time were in an obvious way, which is in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
and The Matrix. Right. You saw it in ways that, you know, almost in a fantasy way, where you
would float, you know, and things like that, that, but it works in The Matrix world, because of the
fact that it's not, it's in your head. Right. But, um, yeah, I give Matrix and a, a plus. Damn.
The third one is a fucking F. The second one is C. They should only made one.
Wachowski, well, siblings do all three. Yeah. Yeah. And there are careers after him.
You know, they have a series out on Netflix called Sense 8, and it's supposed to be pretty good.
I've never watched it, but I heard it's pretty good. People with powers.
Yeah. But, um, the, the only movie they made aside from Matrix that was very good is V for
Vendetta. Oh, that's a great movie. Yeah. Give me another movie. This is interesting.
Um, gosh, I don't know. See a movie, George. Hold on. Hold on. Miller's Crossing. Oh, I can't.
You really want to get deep, huh? Miller's Crossing. Miller's Crossing is, um, I give
that an also an A plus soundtrack alone. Soundtrack is amazing. Yeah. And then John Turtur's
performance, the best he's ever done. I mean, I've never seen it of night of. Yeah. Right.
But I, I doubt it's even comparatively close to Miller's. It's compared. It's, it's close.
Night of. Night of. John Turtur and night of is spectacular. I understand that he's been
the spectacular in everything he's done. Yeah, that's true. But Miller's Crossing,
it's another level of Weasel and cowardice and, and the dynamic decisions of being humble and
then also very egotistical. And he runs the gamut in this character and, um, oh my God,
he's amazing. A plus. A plus. Just the soundtrack and that alone. And then Gabriel, the, the movie
is also, you know, the Coen Brothers, a lot of their movies are cartoony in many ways,
like the zooms and it's very innovative. Even if you see something like Blood Simple,
they do a lot of like artsy shit, like bullets and then like light shining through the bullets,
you know, holes and stuff like that. I mean, you know, they, the Coen Brothers worked on Evil
Dead too. What's your favorite Coen Brothers movie ever? I think again, because of the cartoon
zaniness of it is probably Raising Arizona. I love Raising Arizona. I mean, just this chase
sequence alone of going through the grocery store and the dogs and all that stuff. It's just so fun
to watch. And in a lot of film school, that's what they show is that is that movie. That movie is
very good. And it's done with such a low budget. And it's very like, Oh, I love it. I think what's
certain Holly Hunter is great in it. Yeah. Um, yeah, I should do a movie thing, but I think you
should because I mean, our whole house is just full of old movies. You know what movie we started,
but we haven't finished, but so far it's really good. It's, I think it's not going to talk about
it because we can't even get through the first 10 minutes. We couldn't because
you fell asleep. Oh, she fell asleep. No, I fell asleep because it was 5 in the morning.
That's how good it was. You felt like that people slept during it. She slept king it. Yeah,
you slept king that through that movie. Don't even mention the movie until we see it. Okay,
I will give it justice. All right. Um, you've seen any, you've never seen any of those movies,
right? Uh, my first one ever. And also, because it was the first time I saw that actor, Javier
Bardem was no country for old men. Yeah. And I was like, my first time seeing a movie. Great
movie. Whoa. That's also a great introduction to their movies altogether. But what movie you have
to see, which is along that land of the same lines is blood simple. The very first one.
I've never seen it. Blood simple is a fucking masterpiece. And it's done with what $10. Really?
I mean, you can tell that it's not, but you can tell that they milk every camera angle
and every choice. Yeah. It's, it's, it's an amazing fucking movie. What is your favorite
Wes Anderson movie? Oh God, that's a tough one. But I would have to say, um, the Royal Ten and
Bombs. Is your favorite director? I have, I have top tens and he's my top 10. My favorite ever,
ever is, um, life aquatic. Nothing beats that for me. Yeah. Anything or just like the,
that whole movie from beginning to end is like a dream come true for me on screen.
Yeah. It makes me so happy. I don't know why. What's the camp one with Edward Norden? Oh,
that's Moonlight Kingdom. That was, that was nice. I like that one. He doesn't, he doesn't know,
he doesn't see all. I haven't seen all. I haven't seen all. Moonrise. It's Moonrise Kingdom. I mean,
there, it's, it's like, you know what? You're right. It's 2017. I want to grow and I want to
accept the fact that not everyone's seen everything and that you grew up in a different time period.
You know, but you're also 20 years older. I understand that, but kind of just say this.
And I've heard that argument many, many times is that, um, High and Low,
Kurosawa's movie was made in the fifties. I saw it. I wasn't alive then. I'm just one of those
guys that it's good. Oh yeah. As a kid, I go, I'll watch it because I didn't like, you know,
at that time when the eighties you saw 16 candles, which is fun. But then you see a
fucking long, like, thong on it. You know what I mean? You know,
yeah, but you're a little hot stuff or whatever he says in it. You know what I mean? And then you
want to see something Asians doing cool things, looking handsome, you know, solving crimes.
Yeah. That's all. But for as much as you know about movies, it really, really surprises me
that you know nothing about, you know, Spanish directors. So you're very kind of
You know why he's doing this? No, no, no, no, no, one second. Because he talks about what a great
movie buff he is, right? And he puts us all down if we don't know like, you know, a single movie.
But this is the guy who says he's a self, he's a self-proclaimed movie buff that he knows so
much more than us, but he can't even name one Pedro Almodovar movie. Just one. Name one.
Oh God. You see what I'm saying? Pedro Almodovar is one of the most world-renowned directors.
You don't need it, but you're going to continuously talk about Kurosawa, Kurosawa,
but you know, you know nothing about it. I'm going to look up now. You fucking,
you really just pissed me off so badly. I don't know. He's going to alert every
one. I want to know. I'm going to say this. I'm going to say, top 20 directors.
Shut up. Directors of all time. If he's on this list, I will watch every single one of his movies
and I'm going to apologize to you every day for the next year. Okay. Top 20 directors of all time.
Which publication are we going with? Yeah. In general. No, not in general. All right.
Let's go film, comment. I bet he's on there. Okay. So here we go. All right. Hold on. Hold on.
IMDb. Is that cool? No. Why not IMDb? Because you're going to get like the...
It's very American-centered. IMDb is too American-centered.
You'll comment. The Guardian. The Guardian is good.
Okay, where is it? 40 best directors. We'll look at the top 20. I know, but I'll name the top 20 for you.
Obviously. David Lynch. Martin Scorsese. Cohen Brothers. I'm here. Stephen Soderbergh.
Yes. Terrence Malick. Abbas Kiarostami. You don't know him either.
Errol Morris. Yes. We know Errol Morris. Hayami Ozaki. Yes. David Cronenberg.
Oh my god. This is not the right list. Terrence Davis. There's no way. Lucas Mu... Why?
Because Kurosawa's not even on the top 10. Oh, oh. Name one Wong Kar-Wai movie. If you're...
I'm not listening to this. I don't live in this land. If you're such a movie buff and you're Asian,
name one Wong Kar-Wai movie. I'm going to say this. I'm going to say this right now.
That... Kurosawa's not in this list? He probably is. He's not on this list.
What I'm saying is... This is not... This is already the wrong list.
Name one Wong Kar-Wai movie. And there's no... In the mood for love.
Chunking Express. Oh, Chunking. Spike Jonze is on this list.
And Kurosawa's not on this list. This is not the right... How about of all time?
Sergio Leone. I mean, what the fuck... What kind of list is this? This is not the list.
I think these people are all still alive. Yeah, I'm not doing that list. Fuck that list.
Just saying. I'm just calling you out, buddy. I'm doing the ultimate list
of all time IMDb. That's what I'm doing. Number one, Steven Spielberg.
IMDb is American, though. I don't care. Steven Spielberg is a great fucking director.
Yeah, but you're going to miss out on all the other... Martin Lawrence or Skazy.
Alfred Hitchcock. I'm already ready with this. Stanley Kubrick, right?
Fan Francis for Coppola. Okay. Right? Billy Wilder. Okay.
Woody Allen. Here we go. John Houston. Peter Jackson. Orson Welles.
See, now we need to start good. Milo's Foreman. John Ford. David Lean. Ingrid Bergman.
Joel Cohen. Ridley Scott. This is already not...
None of your... Christopher Nolan.
No Bollywood directors? Georgia is them.
What I'm saying is, stop sitting on your high horse because you don't know everything Bobby.
Here we go. This is a good one.
Look, he's going to try to still prove us wrong.
I am. I apologize. I... You know what? I don't know anything.
And I was... I was a Slap King, but now I'm nothing.
Because, you know, I don't do... I don't rip on Gilbert because out of hate,
it's out of growth and love. Thank you.
But then it's like, you have to tear me down, baby. I don't know.
I don't know. The other guy, you know, so let's just go to the questions then.
Question? Yeah. I'm just going to say something.
Go ahead. Just in general, I'm going to change my ways.
Okay. No, I'm just saying. And I just want to say, I want you to apologize to me.
I need you to apologize for me. I'm sorry, Bobby.
For what? For not accepting the growth that you were giving me.
And that's exactly why I am the Slap King. Because I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why. Because he didn't even do anything wrong and he apologized.
And that makes me the fucking king of all things.
You're perpetuating this illness. I think I'm woke.
All right. Look at me right now, man. Apologize.
Have you saved my number yet?
I won't. Never.
Apologize for that.
How long it took me?
I'm sorry. I'm not worthy of you saving my number, sir.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, bitch.
Fuck you.
All right, go. Give me the question.
Don't even do the voice. I'm in such a bad mood now.
Don't even do the fucking voice.
I'd have a vice of Bobby.
That's great.
All right, I'm going to do this quick.
Hey, everybody. I'm a 27-year-old girl who has a crush on a guy.
I'm Asian and he is white.
I'm pretty reluctant to date white guys in general,
and I would never date a guy with yellow fever.
I'm pretty sure he's not that,
but he has a close-knit group of friends in which I would say 75% of them
are in a white guy Asian girl couple.
Is it weird that this is the one thing that puts me off?
Should I go for it anyway, or should I just wait this crush out?
I think that, listen, the future is this.
100 years from now, if the androids and the robots don't kill us,
Americans are going to look brown.
We're all going to look the same.
We need to crossbreed as quickly as we can.
You got to date, well, I don't know.
At all?
Yeah, I should have looked at you like that.
I mean, you're going to die alone.
All right, you're going to die alone, and I'm sorry for it.
Let's erase that part.
Okay.
But I just think this lady right here, data white dude, I'm all for it now.
I used to be opposed to it.
But if you're an Asian guy too, date white chicks, date a brown person,
date a black person, date, let's crossbreed.
Klyla, your thoughts on crossbreeding?
I think that she sounds like somebody who's probably dated the whole rainbow of men,
which I applaud you for.
I think you should try every single flavor on the menu.
But it sounds like she's put off by the idea, not of his whiteness,
but by the fact that all of his other white friends are with,
majority of them are with Asian women.
So she maybe feels like he could potentially have yellow fever and strictly only be attracted
to Asian women.
So that's what Bobby has a problem with, I think, generally.
When you don't like, when you just are very specific to one thing.
But if he's a good guy and the only thing that's putting you off is his whiteness and his friends,
I wouldn't let that deter you from giving him a chance.
Bobby, thank you for being an inspiration from one former addict to another.
Thanks.
Everything you've been through and overcome makes me want to be a better person.
You rock.
You taught me that it's okay to be weird and to embrace it.
That's all I'm saying.
Show us for Bobby, Klyla.
We're not doing a second question.
Do you want another one?
No.
No.
I mean, I, you know, I, you know, I'll be real with you, man.
I thought it was a good podcast.
And at the end I petered out because I got destroyed by you with your movie shit.
Oh, and you know what?
And because I, you put a mirror in my face and I got to look at me, the slept king,
very handsome on point, but still I saw my own flaws.
And, um, but you just don't know any one car wide movie.
That's true.
That is true.
That is true.
And I am going to catch up.
Yeah, I'm going to catch up every time.
Why can't I have the sticker again?
It's a decal.
It's not just a sticker.
So like put it on my car.
Yeah.
Like a cool, um, Bobby is going to be at the San Jose improv February 10th through the 12th
and Chicago improv, um, February 17th to the 19th and he's going to be in Houston,
March 3rd to the fifth Edmonton.
What's Edmonton Edmonton is not till the month after.
I think you're going to go to Edmonton with me.
I don't know.
Please go.
Wait, it should be pretty warm by then.
It's a disaster.
We got to go.
No, I hear Edmonton is really fun.
Well, all we're going to do is to stay at that mall the whole day.
It's great.
You can hear seals being trapped in cages all night.
They have seals inside the mall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why?
They have this whole order and at nights when you're walking through that.
You know, I know I can tell that that mall is a little bit backwards
because they still have a photo studio where you can dress as a fucking
How do you know that?
Native American.
Oh, your picture you put.
They have a photo studio dedicated to cultural appropriation.
That's how I know that this mall is a little bit on the backwards side.
And we're going to go to the mall and we're going to do it.
And they have like trapped animals and mammals in that mall.
And they also have a church and a police station.
Oh, it's wow.
It's like some city.
It's everything in there.
I never leave that place.
You know what?
Also, they have one of the original spaghetti factories that I love going.
What do you order?
I love getting the manager special.
They have the, uh, it's, um, Msathra cheese, Msathra cheese,
and, uh, a meat sauce.
And I do, I mix it in a big thing.
And it tastes so good to my belly.
It does.
And, um, let's hope that, um, my meeting tomorrow goes good.
And let's hope that this week goes good.
And let's hope everyone gets saved.
And, um, get in line.
Shut up.
Trump.
Get in line.
Slap King out.
Uh, Claude, really quick MMA minute.
Thoughts on Seroni and Masvidal.
No, fought not.
Um, I thought it was entertaining.
I thought that was a probably bad hit.
Come here, Gobi.
Can you let her out, Georgie, please?
Um, I don't think that was a very good fight for Seroni to take.
I think that he's very coming off that Matt Brown win.
I think that turnover was a little bit quick.
Don't you think?
A little quick, uh, went right into, I know he's from Denver,
but he's also his high altitude there.
You know, he looked sluggish a little.
I didn't realize he shouldn't be.
If he's from there, um, he goes to Mexico before his fights.
Oh, but yeah, it's in altitude.
Yeah, it's the altitude.
Yeah.
Um, very high altitude.
Um, I have a confession to make and let's, I'm just going to put it out there
that I've always loved Donald Seroni from the bottom of my heart.
He's always been my MMA fighter, you know, that probably my top five favorite fighters,
but there is, I think that my political sentiments are getting in the way of
how I view the UFC all together, how I view fighters.
And I don't think that's fair to them as athletes.
And I should put my own sentiments aside, but there was about 30% of me that was happy
that he lost in his hometown to a Cuban because he's a Donald Trump supporter.
There's a part of me and I can't, I, I'm not going to lie about it.
I still love him as a fighter.
I always want to watch him fight, but there's a part of me that didn't want him to win.
And there was a part of me that didn't really, like, did a little, I don't even care for Mazvedal.
I mean, I respect them as a fighter.
Hey man, street fighter.
I know, I, I, of course, like I respect him, but I have no, I've always loved Seroni.
You know, it's always been one of my favorite fighters.
Yeah.
It's when you texted me that I was like, what?
Yeah.
I was like, yeah, I deserved it.
But.
And look what happens to Clalette predicts whatever she says happens.
No way.
My predictions.
Follow her for MMA picks.
I shouldn't have said that out loud.
I feel fucked up about it.
They're athletes, Clalette.
They're athletes.
They're athletes.
That's all they are.
They're athletes.
Uh, George, any announcements?
Oh, Jesus Christ, man.
Uh, be sure to write us a review on iTunes, please.
Every review helps.
It helps so much.
Actually, we're almost at a bunch of views on lip sync.
We're like at 900,000.
Right.
So almost a million.
This month we hit 900,000.
So we're almost there, guys, almost to a million,
which is a really big, um, really big thing for us.
Yeah.
And also you might have heard a little Easter egg that was
said on the podcast earlier when Bobby asked,
what do you, what did you guys do today?
And I think George, Clalette,
mentioned something about shirts.
So be on the lookout.
Yeah.
They're coming soon.
Part that.
10 years later.
Shirts are coming, guys.
Don't worry about it.
I know.
They're cool.
They're cool.
Yeah.
I think they're just.
Verspatch.
I like them.
I love them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
And, um, our website, well,
we shouldn't plug the website until everything is.
But just take nice photos.
Because those shirts on the website aren't the official ones
that are going to be there.
Right, right, right.
They're going to be a little bit nicer colors,
a little more fun.
Yep.
And I think that's all we have for this week.
You can follow me on all forms of social media at Calamity K.
And you can follow Tiger Belly on Instagram at Tiger Belly
on Twitter at the Tiger Belly.
And you can email us any questions at thetigerbellyatgmail.com.
Or you can also just check out our Reddit, which is.
Uh, Reddit slash Tiger Belly.
Thank you for the enthusiasm, George,
for your own fucking project that you started.
It's not me.
It's the fan.
PO Box.
Our PO Box.
But sing it though.
Sing it so people can get used to, like.
I don't know how to sing.
1626 North Wilcox.
Number 161.
Hollywood, California.
9 0 0 2 8.
And it was good, but George will not be doing
the song intro of Tiger Belly.
That's our show, guys.
Bye.
I'm, oh, never mind.
No, no, say it.
No, you have to say it.
No, you have to say it.
I'm going to open with a Filipino song next week.
Well, you heard it here first, guys.
I'm going to open.
I'm going to tell Bobby, let me lead.
Let me take the reins.
Is it the one I like that you and your sister do?
Yep, yep, yep.
Don't kill it.
I'm sorry.
But it's going to be a Justice Zaragoza jam.
Boom.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
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