TigerBelly - Episode 79: Esther Ku and The Spectacle of Life

Episode Date: February 22, 2017

We get wet around the eyes as we talk about loss, family strife, and the dos and dont's of giving a euology.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today I Just What is a doki? Turtle it's a summer rabbit Oh, yeah, that's what it is a summer of it. Why do you question me? What's going on here? Go go five four three two I don't know the rest you sing your Korean song

It's a good one like that Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly Slap King Bob Lee in the house and then we got we got Kalila and we got Gilbert. I think Gilbert are good right now We're good, right? We're good. We're okay. You got some shit for last week though, huh? He didn't he got a lot of love and nobody I know quite the opposite I know a couple of things that he got some some twitters Oh, you could you enters you read them, too? I read I read some of them. I was afraid I didn't look Yeah, no everybody. Well, anyway, we got a guest too. So it's not about us sometimes. Yeah

It's about a guest that I've been looking forward to having also dreading at the very same time She is sort of like She's a family. She's family, but also an enemy, but also love That's how families are it's really difficult to love family that's true and we have extra coup here So give her a round of applause everybody and also I've known Esther. I think I first saw Esther on Last comic standing. Oh, somebody said hey, you're gonna see this Korean chick So I think I YouTube it or whatever and you told a very funny joke about Barack Obama's name and your mom whatever saying it and I go oh, she's really funny and I

Felt like I was really nice to you when we first met no or you know, we first meet you were always so nice to me I know No, that's real, okay Just say it again, though. You always Okay, well before I even met you why you heard about me, of course, I knew who you were From watching you on mad TV and not only that but my little brother Yeah, we would always make fun of him cuz he looked like you If he like raises eyebrows like you do

You would do it in a Korean accent And so our family we would all laugh. Oh, that's nice. Yeah But then I thought everything was cool between us and then you try to start a war with me Oh shit online. Well, you tried to start a war with me Oh, I remember you said that she doesn't date Asian men. Yeah, you know without even knowing much more about her You just assume she didn't date Asian men. No, I already write it. Do you date Asian? Well, that's what my joke was about that you had a problem with unless comic standing and then you were bitching about me on Opie and Anthony and then they all started making fun of you and Norton was like, she's hilarious because you were like

Yeah, she can't go around and dissing Asian guys and they're like, why not? That's who's my bad. No, but I fuck up. No, no, no, why? Apologize when I'm in the wrong. I'll apologize. No, it was great because the new one on there exposure. It's exposure for both of us Yeah, at the end of the day, you know, my gut instinct was right about it Like Twitter beef is the greatest thing you can possibly do to your career Yeah, you should have just kept going with it. You really should have like blown it up, right? But I did oh my god. I should have Korean Wars, you know Let me ask you this other Korean people in the business or Asians have how have they reacted to you

Um, not like you. No, but other people. So you what you you've you found hostility No, no, no, but not that much love, right? Exactly. You love me the most. Yeah, I know I did I do I know I did and I do and I know that I'm slept king. Everyone knows that and I know that my gut instincts are right What have we learned today so far that your gut instincts are yeah, yeah, yeah love family. Yeah, no I know I'm here's what it is is that if When you see an Asian person in show business as long then my number one rule is I can't Stand FOB is Why I'm a fob, bro. No, no, no, no, you don't talk like you don't talk like you don't look like one

You don't look like one and you act civilized, right? You you act civilized No, I would never be able to tell you're a fob. We would do fobs do like chuck their shit across But they you know, they they were Soviet clothing and they're like stick your fork in your food Eat it without permission. They just get in your personal space. Oh, yeah They have like weird racist ideas about things, you know, like my parents Like a Vietnamese people or they think white people are the devil. Yeah, and it's just like fucking stop and

So like when I say that's why even somebody that we know That I talk about a lot, you know, I know that he No, to me, you know, he has FOB Somebody okay. He has FOB And energy energy FOB think Asian and last comic standing. Oh, right Really quick connection there very very fast and he just has a FOB way of you know, I mean of So I just you know, I that's why I love people like

Astor because she's weird and she's she's got a specific, you know, I mean, where did you grow up Chicago? Oh Whoa, I didn't know that and you live there for most of your life and you just came to where do you live now here? She don't what happened in Miami. I remember because I got a job here I remember you were in Miami because you were performing there and you were like, oh, we were probably we should go eat with Esther Yeah, yeah, cuz she lives out here. Yeah, yeah, and you guys dissed me. No, I think you had other plans Yeah, I think we did We fucked it we fucked it We said fucker

Crying for seven days No, you weren't sad about it. Let's be real. But so now what happened to the you had a guy You don't know what I get sad about that is true. What do you get sad about everything? I can I guess sad about my life. What parts of your life are you saddest about right now? Well Well, it's got really dark. I should say it in Korean Yeah, right because they don't know Korean We keep it a code word. Yes. Yeah, he doesn't understand

Everything you say I swear to God, I'll understand say it to me. Okay. Oh, I'm not a kid. What's up? Um, one month ago. I didn't know that. I know. Oh I'm sad too Hey, do you understand? I think I got I think we all passed away. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know who But oh, I didn't know that How? Oh my god Oh, oh man, so can I tell him what you said?

Because why she's collapsed on the ground. She uh, that's what's gone. Yeah, I lost our guys. Yeah, yeah Um, I have to tell them what you said. Okay. Tell them what I said. Yeah Yeah, her mailman got sick Her mom her mom dad, I'm sorry a month ago. Yeah, she had a heart attack Wow, I don't even know how you're up in about I Did a comedy show the day I found out Did you feel like you had to then I recorded a podcast and I was crying on it. Yeah So, how did you I mean who called you?

My little brother. Oh the one you met. I love San Francisco. Yeah, warlock. Yeah Yeah, his her little brother's like a little scientific warlock. Yeah, I really I really want To be with him. He wanted him on this podcast. Yeah, we should have him. We should have him. He's he's magical Where did your mom live? Were you guys like a really close-knit family in Chicago? Well, here's I mean You want to get it? I mean, I'm gonna have to ask you some questions. Okay. Yeah, you guys weren't in In a in good communication though, right from what I from what you told me I think a couple years ago, maybe right like you don't you had resentment toward them. Yeah, and so there wasn't There wasn't communication my memories of her are more fond when I was little

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, you know because I didn't really spend much time with her Later in life. Yeah, well, they probably like my parents We're a little weirded out about your choices in life, correct Maybe yeah, I don't know. I mean, what was the disconnect then? I mean, if you if if growing up you guys were super close or you had fond memories of her and then I Mean not everything was fun Yeah, sure. I mean, you know, yeah, I mean I have Yeah, I mean I have my dad used to beat the shit on me with a fucking baseball bat and shit like that right clubs

And my dad was a fucking terror, but there were little gaps of you know, you can get him back while he's still alive I can't get my mom back anymore. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, sorry, you know, yeah Yeah, I sent her a letter through my you know I worked out stuff in therapy and my therapist told me to write a letter and I wrote both of my parents a letter and I sent it Before yeah Like this was like two years ago. I sent it. Oh my god. Yeah, so when does the lesson be to talk to your mom before she passed? um, I don't know maybe a Couple months

So when you sent that letter was there like a reconciliation or some type of like closure between like the both of you guys I don't know what happened like in your past. He makes it seem like maybe it was not an easy Upringing but was there when you sent the letter was there some type of like, oh, we understand you now and we get it or They said that to me. Mm-hmm. No, my mom was like really oblivious Like her response to my letter because like in my letter My therapist told me to write like what you did to me how it made me feel what I want you to do about it Yeah, and how it's affected my life now and my letter had four parts to it and I wrote that and you know just I just explained like

All the things that why I was hurt and you know all the pain that she had like brought into my life and You know And she just like wrote a check for a hundred dollars and sent it and was like I was like, you know, she's just like oh nice to hear from you Yeah, it's so Korean and so Korean and the funeral was so Korean because you know, my parents were missionaries So everybody from the church was there who I grew up with yeah, and I saw You know John Lee's parents and John Lee's mom was always such a bitch. Yeah, right? There's a million John Lee So nobody will know who I'm talking So John Lee was an only child and he lived in a fucking mansion

Compared to everybody else everybody else was a poor missionary Living four kids in a bedroom and then railroad style another bedroom with four kids. Yeah, but John Lee had the fucking life He had a rainbow painted in his bedroom wall We were like John Lee's parents are like white. Yeah, you know they like they like give him stuff Yeah, and don't just shove them in a corner and say shut up. You know stop bothering me you little piece of shit. Yeah, so So I saw John Lee's mom and she John Lee's mom is always like really She's always like put together like she only wanted one kid raise this raise a doctor So so everybody came up to me and you know, it's crazy how everybody looks the same

Yeah, I'm like I haven't seen these people in 20 years Yeah, and they look exactly the same and I know exactly who they are do they did most of them probably know what you do No What? No, they do. Well, you know what fucking do and they don't say shit No, they did say shit. What'd they say? Well first of all cuz I was decked out, right? What decked out is how are you? Yeah, I was wearing a tight black dress killing Black heels and I had a black veil perfect. Yeah, my sister said I looked like a young widow

This one Korean missionary comes up to me and and they go oh, she's from Hollywood. Oh killing Yeah, no, but I caused so much problems for myself at my mom's funeral Why? Because of what I posted on Facebook. What did you post on Facebook? And I pissed off my entire family. I Just wrote something nice about my mom. I thought it was nice What'd you say? Right? I said, um, I said my mom passed away today. She had a heart attack. It was sudden and I said, she always liked to go to casinos She always spent her time between casinos and church until she got kicked out of church and she banned herself from every casino

One part sweet, right? Yeah I love it. No, but my family they are very Like she was in gambler's anonymous Yeah, but you don't ever say that out loud and like amongst like other you're not supposed to like put out other people's business, right? Especially in Asia Like, you know, I went to rehabs and stuff in high school and stuff and my none of my cousins and Oh, it's because I have 21st because nobody knew it's because they just they hide it It's all about hiding it. So what was the response in my whole lifestyle?

I'm all about stripping the shame from Everything and just talking about anything on stage. Yeah, of course. That's your job. That's what that's what I do So but but you know, they're all still very conservative and Everybody got pissed off at me and when I went home My dad was like, so your sister's the only one who's going to do the eulogy And I was like, are you kidding me? I can't even get a spot at my mom's funeral You have an agent yet? Do you call your agent? You should have called me I would have called CAA and I would have made it happen, dude

Yo, you would have called John Lee's mom. Yeah. Yeah, right? Matt Blake my agent would have Yeah, we're hip-hockeying Esther So I got I got canceled from the eulogy Oh my god and my dad like made up this lie and was like They only allow one person at a eulogy And I'm like that is such a lie

Because I've been to funerals like 25 people. Yeah. Yeah, you know, they usually say does anybody say something? Yeah, I'm like, I'll just storm the stage then motherfucker. Yeah. Whoa. Did you did you? No, I Had to convince them it was a struggle but My friend Grace Park came over and she helped me there's also 50 other grace parts. I know a couple grace parts Is it the Hawaii 5-0 grace part? No, no, no, that doesn't matter. Don't say her name It's not Hawaii 5-0 grace part. You say some Asian chick

Okay, so so I went on periscope and I narrowed down my wait, wait, wait, you want periscope at your mom's funeral? No, no, no at my thing at my hotel stupid. Oh, we're still the same day No, no, no, it's not the same day But I'm just like working through this like struggling as to figure out like hey What jokes are appropriate to say at a eulogy? Can you say something? No jokes. No Hey Bob, I think it's great advice. Yeah, maybe no, maybe no jokes. That's good advice. Okay. Well, but first of all Yeah, you knew my mom. Yeah, you would know that she would want jokes at her funeral Okay, my mom I get my personality from my mom

Yeah, and that's probably why we like butt heads and didn't get along Yeah, because I just reminded her of her but like 2.0 version. Yeah, and like without the fob accent. Mm-hmm, you know so Wow, so I went through my whole set list So so Grace Park was like no take that one out. Don't don't say anything. Yeah, don't say anything with sex or you know Cleaned it up. Like this was like a TV clean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right She did a tenaccio set So a Fallon set, okay, and then I went to my dad's house and I said can I do a dress rehearsal?

Whoa Yeah, oh, it's just to get there. You mean just to get their approval You don't understand the culture of my family. I get it. Yeah. No, you don't get it. I do get it You're saying whoa. Well, I'm just saying whoa for the audience They're all going like yeah Yeah, exactly what I would do my dad for makeup Yeah, the lights right I would screen test myself

My dad was making jokes. My dad my dad goes. Oh, you know, I think it's good She died because she was always complaining about body paints You know cuz she had arthritis and diabetes so yeah, yeah, yeah, but How many brothers and sisters are there? Three brothers and one sister and they were all there obviously. Yeah Yeah, everyone just devastated Yeah, because I know that I know that I know that your brother the one that I met the warlock There's something magical about him he's like from a different like he's from Dr. Strang

like he could he can do the You haven't met him you don't know he has a little fucking ring thing and the little eyed necklace and then the cape yeah, and so What what I'm saying is that he didn't have a relationship right right with them either right exactly remember that yeah I do I do remember that's what I just said it And so I mean did all the kids have that kind of relationship with their parents at that point No, no When you have five kids you have different relationships with your kids

Okay, yeah It's the way you just talked to me. I just don't like when people talk to me like I'm sorry you're scolding me and like that's fine. I don't know where they're going through a hard time I'm fine. Okay. Thank you. Can you say it a different way though? Let's rewind. Yeah, we'll wind it to say it in a different way When you have five kids one, I think when you have five kids That's better so much better. You treat them differently. Thank you. Don't you think so? Yes, where are you from in California? So some of your some of your siblings were club had a communication that you didn't have what not yeah

Where do you fall on the second oldest? Okay, but my parents never wanted a girl I don't know if your parents were cool with you being a girl I know my mom definitely wanted boys, but it turns out I have a six foot tall sister who is like Basically, like we both look like linebackers, so she was fine with it and she put as always like in sports and stuff So that was her way of coping with having girls. So you're not like a frail little girl You could take care of yourself. Yeah, and beat up your boyfriend if he doesn't take care of you when you're sick Exactly Go ahead

I really was hurt it makes me angry but it makes me angry, but her mom died No, but I think it I've been through years of therapy and I think the fact that I've written a letter to my mom and I sent it and I like went through this whole morning process when I wrote that letter of the mom that like I never had Or you know the mom that just addressing like, you know, you neglected me and this happened and this happened and I felt like I had already said my goodbye to her And so it was easier for me when I found out that she had physically died Yeah, it was easier for me to deal with it

Then some of my siblings who were just completely like devastated. Yeah. Oh my god And so I guess I understand why they would be mad at me about what I wrote. Yeah Okay, so you had sort of at least had your peace with it two years ago, right? Yeah Yeah, that makes no your relationship with your father has it gotten better since your mom's passing or No, it's just the same I mean, no, he's more he's more open to talking about things good Then my mom that's good. My mom was more oblivious and my dad's a little more rational and he like especially now that you're you know, you're you're your dad's still with you and Maybe there can be a deeper relationship there down the road because

You know that life is fickle and Anything can happen and for you when your dad got sick. Were you able to? Kind of let go of all your resentments. Is that when it happened or did you get let it go when my brother and I when my brother and I When I killed my brother's dog Dolly I killed his dog and then when we went to we went to Phoenix Well, we're gonna get in that we're gonna get into that too. That's fucking weird, but I don't hate animals. You you call them what? Scary. Yeah. Yeah, those are fighting in Korea in Korean. You said it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Mousseau You said yeah, but um and when we saw my dad they know the doctor said he's gonna die or whatever

At that point you just kind of let go of all those resentments It's like it doesn't mean anything and then my brother and I were able to grieve Right then I had never cried That hard before and I'd never felt that kind of pain before My brother either my brother were on and I were on the ground like holding his legs because they said that he was gonna die He's still alive. They lied He's still hanging in there, but um But I can't imagine what what's the holdup geez

Here's another Facebook status Esther hash that come on already Yeah I mean, I don't wish for this, but if something should happen to your dad Please have a write the Facebook post about it. I will I will allow you to do that, but but I can't imagine my dad Passing and I just feel I'm so sorry that that happened This guy I know Yeah, so I'm gonna really read this text that I asked for something earlier today. It's just really weird so excited for TV

Thank you for having me on Because it's all excellent Caps no, no, I call a mission you can pull me all you want. I ain't a little bitch like Gilbert Well, I didn't know you were gonna read these tags Yeah, why am I so you guys have you guys Yeah, we met where CBS diversity in a basement. Yeah creepy. Yeah, I think I was I actually Saw you in the audience, but I was like, why does she look so familiar? I was like Why is there a meeting like big-headed Asians anonymous?

I know I walked into the wrong one And you were the only one Yeah, we saw CBS was that I think that day also Jesus was there randomly another big head though super big head Yeah, then we met at the bar Yeah But now you're on a show. Yeah, and the reason why I know she's on a show is because I have a friend Who her name is man and Matthews and she's a She's an Instagram. No, she was a huge vine star

Huge she was like seven million. Yeah followers like a britney furlough. Yeah, like a britney furlough And I know her from a club that I'm a part of but I want to get in that but my a high club I don't want to get into it, but um, I think she's really talented. Who else is in it? Hannah Pilkin. She's a very funny tool. She's a stand-up tons of lines with her. Yeah, very funny And so I saw photos. I always tell her she's like a real life Amelia, but do that is true But when I when I saw a photo with asked her with the two girls that I knew I go well, whatever that is That's gonna be good. I really think these two girls are so strong. I think she's strong Who's the at the fourth and Tracy stump? Yeah, I know her too. Yeah, she's good too. Oh my god

I know it's all female sketch show And that we're doing and they write for us. Yeah, and and there's it's I'm not kidding you I mean in terms of vine stars Though the two especially No, I just think that they're so funny. They're so funny So funny and the writers on the show are so fucking funny like I like dying like what's a call? It's called. Sorry. Not. Sorry. Oh Yeah, what network? It's on seriously dot TV. Yeah, what do you see what he just said?

I said his energy right there. What network like if he wants to know like right? Yeah, the show Angry and so resentful so young Asian on TV. You're not be happy for me. I'm happy for Esther. Are you sure? I have a question for all three of you guys Yeah, everyone's in the industry when you work. Oh, by the way, I'm not a I'm not a comedian. I'm not a hot cat. You're in the fucking industry I'm tired of this shit that you fucking do every fucking day like I'm just you know a girl I don't even know what I'm doing a part of your celebrity now My question is when you see another Asian like you've never heard of before Let's say for instance like someone your age and who's also doing sketch

Who's like me that dabbling and stand up where you see like a younger like female like Stand-up comedian. Do you do you get your spikes go up? Or are you more like hey like you do you want to get to know them and nurture them? Are you more like what is this bitch about? Like another stand up. Yeah, like do you feel like an initial threat or do you feel like an Asian girl? That's cute Yeah, right Um, I think I'm curious What's wrong?

Is it the cats? I have a cough. She's highly allergic to cats by the way. Yeah, you're okay. No, no, no I had a legra. Okay. Thank you. Good. Like there's a San Francisco girl named moon. You know her No, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but she seems, you know, funny, right? Yeah, I don't I've never seen her perform either But you can just tell them right because of the way she's dressed and that's another thing I was saying is is that you can already tell that when she talks and the way she looks and who she's dating and how She behaves that she's not a fucking fob Okay, what is the real definition of a father than fresh off the boat, right? So yeah, there's an energy

There's two different kinds. All right. There's the literal kind. Yeah of somebody that Just came here. Yeah, I mean they're from like, you know, Taiwan, right? And they they have a thick accent and they and they shower once a week. Yeah. Yeah, that's or whatever But they don't know they don't know what they don't know. They don't know. Okay computer Listen to what I'm saying. They don't listen to what I'm saying. They've never seen a Wes Anderson movie Shut the fuck up, man. I'm talking. They don't I'm talking. Okay, and they don't know who I am Oh, yeah, who you I think we finally figured out why you don't like Bob Why right

No, but then there's that kind and then there are the ones that were born here, right? I'm gonna name a name, but I grew up with a guy named John, right? The nicest kid John gubongoo. John Lee Yeah, that's my brother. That is really yeah, and he always got straight A's My parents would always go, why don't you hang out with him? He's smart. You do you get better. You know, you do the rug That's why I don't hang out with him because he's just he doesn't go out all he does is read He's gonna become a doctor and whatever don't they call those like so fobs are generally like the one point fivers, right? That that generation where they probably came to the US right around like 13 14 So they still retain all of their like they say for instance like for me like three, you know

Yeah, my accent or like my mannerism didn't shave my legs. I was very like studious and then Then you acclimated. Yeah, but it took me a while My accent was very very thick most of my teen years and I had like a weird look I dressed not cool, but then you started blowing guys. I started blowing guys really Fuck let me just suck some dick Yeah, oh my god I was like really because my parents never like talked about sex or anything of that sort You know so I had to figure a lot of stuff out on my own and initially when I first came from America

I would write boys letters like hey, I like you because that's what we did in the Philippines, right? That shit don't fly here. Yeah, really you don't write letters because you're a fucking weak bitch if you do that And so I got rejected after each rejections. I was like, oh, let me just suck your dick and it worked American way. Yeah, it's American way. You just yeah, just blow your way to you know out of your fobby-ness Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. Yeah, blow your way out of fobby Yeah, and then now all of a sudden I wasn't a fob anymore. It was just a chicken head, you know, that's what they should have that in like What's the first thing for when you it wouldn't be blowing when we the first thing but that would be like in the back pages Yeah, like like an asterisk and a little like a red in red. Yeah, honey. Check this out. Yeah. Yeah, that's right

Writing a letter you put so much heart into writing a letter, right? Yeah, and I remember this one Puerto Rican guy named Gary He was like, what the fuck is this? Never met a Puerto Rican. You know, Gary My name is Gary. He's from New York, too. No, it's not. I was so in love That was just not the way to go. I think letters are a woman thing No, I think it's a fob thing maybe because none of the kids in my house know this. Yeah, but she writes letters. I write letters and I was born here I'm so embarrassed Yeah, but like so, you know moon is You know, so you can just tell and how do you feel if you see like when you were younger?

I know now you're a little bit better about seeing like another Asian. Okay, I'm gonna just say this right now. Okay I'm gonna just say this right now when I did Jay Leno, right the next day a guy calls me Right an Asian guy from New York and he was represented by Barry Katz. You know Barry Katz. Yeah Hey, dude, I just saw your tonight show dude. I'm Korean too and you fucking killed it. I Go what? He goes. Yeah, my name is Steve Byrne. He's half. Wow. I didn't even know him, right? He goes I I begged my manager He was right by Barry Katz to get your number and you know, I just want to be your friend way

Yeah, and so I was like that when Ken Jeong when I first saw Ken Jeong I go I sent Ken Jeong a MySpace message. You did? Yeah, so this is 10 years ago. I said you replied. This is 10 years ago. It was really funny. He said thanks. Yeah Yeah, so like you you you know, you see guys and go oh But then when it's but when you see somebody That isn't doing the doing it the way you like Pete. There was a guy named Peter Chen and You you met Peter Chen, right? I feel so bad because Peter Chen was here during the 80s during the boom Oh, but Mike he has thick accent, you know, I mean you can look he has a documentary on YouTube about him

He made it himself. Oh, I think okay, right and he I mean nice guy just a terrible comedian thick accent and he had he made up like you know when hecklers He made up line that didn't make any sense, right? So, um, hey, you suck. All right, so I'm a anyway You suck Peter you suck. Oh, I'm gonna put you on a rocket ship. You're gonna gonna go to the moon, but that was that was his slam Yeah, like he would write What would be another one what would be another one and your mom is a gross I think the horror in the ground you go in I think you dig your way out. What the fuck

Like that like stuff that you would go. Oh my god, that's so not funny. Yeah, you know and then one day I was at the open mic and he they we used to put just put me up at the open mic And he had signed up and he had been there for 25 years, whatever So I remember him approaching me good. This guy right here only been here for two years. I've been here for 25 Yeah, you know, and he he get the go out. Like I go, you're not funny Oh my god, so it's like that with that kind of shit. I'm verbal about it Yeah, when I see people that I think have like you I when I genuinely think that you have genuine I can't look at you when I give you a compliment. I can't I'm gonna go

I'm gonna look at your right a little bit Esther. No, I'm gonna look at you. Yeah to the right a little bit, but Gilbert I Generally think that you have genuine talent and that you're you literally can make it. I feel that about Esther I saw Gilbert at the CBS diversity showcase. He was amazing. I don't want this to be a fucking word of great Like this is sounding sad this fucking podcast, but I'm just saying that's my point. Okay. I I barely give compliments Let me just give one. All right, that's true So if you saw an Asian girl Esther if you saw an Asian girl that was good that you would probably support her then You know what I am always curious because there's so few of us. Yeah, you know I think it's good to embrace other people the way you embrace me. Yeah, has Margaret embraced you or no

Um, you know what? I stalked her one time. Well, don't do Yeah, but did she know who you are? Um, well, she follows me on Twitter I remember when she when her sitcom all-american girl got canceled. Yeah, and You're probably a kid. Yeah, I was a kid Yeah, and I was watching this on TV and I remember thinking like this is a big deal the first Asian American to ever get a sitcom It was a huge deal. It was huge. Yeah And I remember they were interviewing her. They're like so Margaret. What are you gonna do now? And she's like, well, I'm just gonna keep kicking ass till the next Asian American girl gets up here

Yeah, and I just like took that and like I know you know, you're gonna make me cry now I was like, I was like, oh, I'm gonna she's speaking to me. I just yeah, I just like just took it. Yeah, I Have to say something right now and I was gonna save it for another podcast, but I can't I'm sorry, but since you're here and Gilbert, you guys are here something happened to me last week that Was very humiliating for me So I was at the comedy store with Nick Yusef And he goes, hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna go do a show at the laugh actor. Can you drop me off? So, okay, you know what? I'm gonna go get a green blot. So I'll just park

So I park my car and I with Nick Yusef and I we walk into the lab factory and Two people came up to me and goes was your ticket And I go what? Yeah, you need a ticket or get out the staff. Yeah, I go What? I don't yo don't don't feel bad. I saw cat Williams get rejected from the carolines christmas party and he was in a full-length fur coat And the girl was like what are you on the list? Yeah, and she's just brand new these people they hire these clubs They don't feel bad that happened to him at the lab factory, too

That's what their point was it happened to cat, but that's not the point. No, that's not the point Whatever you're saying right now, okay, sorry Is if you're working at a comedy club in LA, I'm just I'm not okay. Let me just say this. I know I'm not Chris rock I Know I'm not Louis CK. I know where I'm at. All right. I'm at the bottom fine Bobby Lee You were no wonder girls music video. All right, but All right, but when it comes to the comedy store and the laugh acting the improv here in LA Since I've been here for 20 years and I've played those clubs for 20 years and I'm friends with the owner of the club. I've been around the country with the owner of the club

I know every single comic that performs there. I'm on the payroll, right that you should don't you think that they should know Who I am or no, yes, or at least Whoever you put up to the front to deal with people coming in the door should at least be well versed with who's who Yeah, so then when it yeah, it's part of your job Don't apply for a job at a comedy club without doing your research to see who comedians are or at least just especially the ones who perform at Your club. Yeah, what did you say to them or who's in the marquee down the street? You know what I mean? Like it doesn't well, I said it's so embarrassing But then I go on Bobby Lee. He goes. No, I don't what oh

They don't even know the name Because I've never been in the situation you almost like I'm blushing I'm sweating Then did they recognize Nick Yusuf? No, they asked for his act and he was on the list Right. Yeah, he's on the list, right? So Nick goes. Oh my ID. I don't I'm performing here And I'm like And then I just kind of left the building I Just left. Oh my god, and then I told the doorman who I knew They just asked my knees. Yeah, you know, they're new

And I and then I texted everyone I knew nice. I texted fucking crystal. Leah Eric Griffin a bunch of people Johnny Sanchez Going they wouldn't let me in the laugh factory And then I just said I'll never go back there again Damn over one person's Yes, yes over one person. That's the point. Okay. That's the fucking point of the whole thing Let me say something right now. Okay, that's how people learn Okay, and also this the same thing happened to me. I told you the story about in Seattle. Oh, that's right at the Parlor live

Have I told that story here on the podcast? Yeah, it's been a while. I'll say the story again. I Do a show at the Parlor live and I'm sorry, but it's not a big room. I sold out every show I'm sorry. I have to say it Sold out every fucking show Okay, I do one show kill it. Go to my hotel room To take a shower. I go back to the second show And I walk into the club and the doorman puts his arm out grabs me and pulls me on the club We're sold out. Oh my god

Right and I and and every comic that I tell this to they said, why don't you just say that you're the headliner? No, no, no, I believe it looks like the headliner shouldn't have to tell them Right, the headliner is everybody on staff should know who the headliner is Yeah, you know what their picture looks like exactly and also this is also fun for me So when he puts his arm around me, I'm like, this is amazing You like it because this is about to turn into something There's a confrontation that's gonna happen and I want to see what I'm gonna do So what I do is I go I kind of push him aside and I will continue to walk in the club

Yeah, John. We're not saying anything. Was he bigger than you way bigger. He was like this American Indian dude Get a long hair, right? And he as I'm walking in the club. He's now in front of me walking backwards Whoa, whoa, you death, man Right, you know, I'm just I'm walking Why are you both walking like that? We just both are right. Then he finally stops me in my tracks and he goes out So I leave

Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be on stage And as I'm walking on the club, I go, oh, yeah, all right fine. I'm leaving but tell Reuben to cancel the show He goes, why? Because I'm the headliner and I just leave Right and didn't do the show. No wait my job. No, of course I'm gonna do the show But I'm like milking it, right? So I'm walking away and then he's not looking at like the pictures He's freaking out. No. He's like, oh my god. That is him or whatever

And he's such getting angry Why don't you tell me and I'm screaming back. Look at the back, you know, man All the posters, right So then I go up on stage. I go back. I get in the club and then when I get off It's amazing There's people in the green room that I've never seen before You're talking about the guy that owns the whole building You know, I mean like like investors, you know, I mean, they're all there

And they're like all learning we're so sorry fired them And I go no I feel guilty Right So then I had I spent 24 hours begging to get that guy's job back Are you serious? Yeah, so it could have been my work. This is how I work It could have been as simple as this I'm the headliner. I just walked in and did my show and nothing

I had to do this complete fucking chaos and it's so fun to do and I enjoy it You know what I mean? So with this lab factory thing, I'm never going back until somebody apologizes You got it. What you don't get it. I mean I do you do get it, right? You're a drama queen That's really what he's asking for the respect. No, but he really likes he he loves to make A bigger fuss about it. Trust me make a point Beyond that he wants people to learn a lesson. He loves the drama It's not drama. That's a weird way of saying it. I enjoy a spectacle. It's like performance art. It's a performance

Thank you so much. And let me tell you something right now friends again, huh? Yeah, I like that. I don't like this. I like that a lot and um So what this is this podcast, right? We're not done yet. I'm just looking for the question I'm not even close to being done. Okay. I'm just gonna just I have a Comment I want to make about so far the podcast. Yeah, this is that it's um It started off really sad Sad I'm still kind of sad about it. We're sad this episode. Yeah, when you well, you're

Yeah, yeah, you don't remember what happened what happened the beginning. I'm high. Are you really high? Yeah You are high right now. Oh my god, you know how much it took me not to smoke weed At the funeral. Oh my god. I went sober. Why did you go sober just to I feel like maybe you would even smoke more because if I smoked I would have like bawled my eyes out How do you get how you smoke a vape? Uh, a pipe a pipe You smoke every day. You seem like you smoke every day. Do you use it for Therapeutic purposes or yeah, it it stabilizes. How do you perform high though?

It's better. You it is. Yeah, what do you mean? Well, let me not drag you into the deep end The highs from the audience You know the their laughter just like carries you home. Oh, but how do you remember your jokes and stuff? I you actually have a better memory on weed you do I do yeah, because jordan peel used to smoke pot And do sketches like like live, you know, like, you know, and I'd be like I'm at tv. Oh, yeah. Oh shit. Oh really? Oh, yeah, there was one time where um

Ike and I were jordan had like no line He was just a waiter in some sketch and he was so high that he had to bring in a He had a big he had just a glass of water on a tray. Yeah, but he was so Right He was just teetering like this and we were laughing so hard because we knew that he was and it just shatters all over the ground Yeah, yeah, yeah Because he was so high it was so funny, but um, yeah, but he can perform that way. I you can't I don't know if I can Joe Rogan can

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I never tried Joe Rogan smokes weed before he works out Yeah, so I started doing that. You did. Yeah, and it works me and my kettlebell So it's very Joe Rogan of you. Are you high from the beginning to the end of night then? 24 7 I mean not all the time Like when you shoot your show with man and then those guys. Are you high? Um Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Do they know you're high?

Probably. Yeah. Yeah. I mean what is it's so hard to The guy the last guy that I dated the guy I was with for like five years. I mean he He smoked the wake as soon we waken big it's like from beginning it's all day But I didn't see a personality that I never really noticed because he just went about his day I never really thought anything of it Then no stoners are portrayed a certain way in movies and tv shows to be stupid and forgetful and idiots But you know I I show up to work. You seem very clear to me right now Yeah, I show up to work because weed is a met is medicine and it stabilizes me. Yeah, and it helps calms my anxiety down

So that I couldn't be normal with people. Yeah, what about like auditions you can do it still Yeah, I feel looser Wow And you know like and you know all the lines and everything like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god Sometimes I'll improvise a little bit and it helps me. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, maybe I should relapse. I don't want to I think down the west of frat getting bobby leader relax down the road I think that that's gonna be off of the no-no list

Because I feel like okay, you guys are still allowed to smoke as many cigarettes as you want, right? Yeah And I feel like that's just so much like four more detrimental to your health and like wellness compared to smoking marijuana So it's just a matter of like I think that if it was just marijuana, but it's a gateway It's just a gateway. It's not a gateway. I don't do other. I know for alcoholic I think that the only reason it's a gateway. It's because it's been you've it's ingrained in your mind and our society's idea of It's it's a drug drug drug So you use that capital d word over and over again your whole life. So yeah, it is a gateway But if it's let's suppose

Marijuana had always been treated like cigarettes and you've been told. Oh, it's just a you know Recreational thing that people do I guarantee you you wouldn't consider it a gateway the only reason it's a gateway It's because your brain is told it's a drug. This this is so dangerous. No, I'm not saying you should I couldn't see you're thinking about it. No, it's does that make sense. No, it's literally It's literally the most dangerous thing I've ever heard in my life And I'm my face is sweating now And for instance, no, no, it's this is this right here is fucking soviet propaganda bullshit Can I just like say

Fucking Steve Bannon, it's all the whole thing man. For instance like lsd has a lot of anti-addictive properties, right? A lot of these drugs that were considered to be terrible things have anti-addictive properties and help people actually get sober So, you know, it's it's kind of a very gray area. I understand that but here's the thing. Okay, this is that Since the 12 steps are created in 1935 in Akron, Ohio, right? They've had a lot of trials and errors, right and they've had You know, it's it's not as if this movement started a year ago, right? So over the years millions and millions of people have tried it in different kinds of ways and At the end of the day, they came up with this

Thing it's not because they want to be controlling or you know, or it's not a philosophy That's certain segment of the it's believed throughout Because it's been tested. Okay, but my question is if it was something that was, you know, established in 1935 shouldn't Shouldn't something established in 1935 Adjust to something that's happening in 2017 or all this scientific knowledge that we've garnered over the years I've been to AA meetings and they're super religious Yeah, no, no, you could say that it's all about God and stuff

Yeah, it's not about God or I don't know. So you guys do something with God I can't wait for your eulogy at your funeral Yeah, I mean, um Are there more like progressive like AA types who are kind of experimenting with the really hard lines between the no-no drugs and like the other acceptable things Well, they did do it in the 60s. Okay. So in the 60s, think about the drugs that were available in the 60s. Okay. There was weed I don't think LSD was was LSD. I mean the 60s. Okay. LSD LSD has been around since even before that the 40s. Yeah. Yeah. So, um

Even bill w the founder experimented with LSD. So, um You know, it's the first of all, it's not god, right? Like there's people there's a power All right, we have to get into it then, um When you're you have to understand that when people get into AA they they've lost everything they're they're generally mostly the first 100 were people that were on the precipice of wet brain Or they were street walkers hobos, right? And they had tried every single thing throughout their whole life and nothing worked

okay, and so The one thing that they did try which was that first hundred which was sitting together Having a meeting once a day, right and doing these steps, right Got them long-term sobriety So it worked and the reason why it worked was because um number one Well, you don't have anything and you don't you you tried to control your drinking and it didn't work So you're powerless, right? I can't do it

And nothing I've done Works, but it's the best way to meet other people who still drink. What do you mean AA? Right don't people like meet there and then go off the rails. No, no, I don't know are they like You meet people who relapses. I've seen that in movies though. I know I know but every movie I know but see Okay, just listen what I'm saying. Okay So I can't do it. There's nothing I've done, right?

So then you come to a program like AA and they go well, we have a solution. What is it? Well, a power greater than yourself has to remove the addiction Right your subconscious mind. Maybe whatever it might be, but they call it a higher power Okay, and when you do the steps There's this thing that happens in the beginning of the especially in the beginning of the big book There's the doctor's opinion. There's a doctor silkworth He's he's he specializes in alcoholism He says what happens with people in AA is there's a psychic change

You know a spiritual awakening that happens that they believe Sometimes it's a flash of light. Sometimes it's an overwhelming feeling, but the obsession becomes removed Something that you think of every day and it comes it gets completely removed by doing these steps I don't know why but it happened for me. It happened for my brother, right? and Without it without those principles. I I know For myself that if I smoke pot, I'm gonna drink I know that and I'm gonna eventually go back to opiates and then my life falls apart. So don't

That's what I'm saying. So that's why I don't do it. I know myself And I know what I would do Yeah, you know and maybe AA and NA are only for Real chronic alcoholics, but I think that it really appeals to there are it helps for a specific type of person Because you know like you told me that what is it like the the success rate of AA is really only what like a 5%

Or like 5% actually, you know in recovery in general recovery. Yeah, not in just AA In recovery in general is a 5% right Okay, and there there are probably people with a certain type of However, they think is a perfect match for the 12 step program whereas other people who are no when I mean 5% Is that 95% of people? They either die in prison on the streets

or through some sort of medical thing because of their drug addiction and alcoholism 95% of alcoholics and drug addicts That seems really high It's it's not it's a factual thing You know what I mean God it's so dark and sad now No, I'm just defending I need to defend. Yeah, I'm just defending you don't have to defend it

We believe you're in the top 5% No, here's what it is. Here's what it is. Here's what it is though. I I know but You know, you know, you and I've had these conversations before sweetie and um You know, I you know, I haven't I haven't do it been to a meeting in a year You know And so I'm kind of a dry drunk like I'm on the precipice of what time to go to a meeting maybe relapsing but um, so I'm trying to hang on to whatever I have

To stay sober, you know, I mean, so this is my last You know, I'm I'm defending the the the the the foundations Of what I learned to be true. No, you know also, you know If what if we ever have these discussions about it It's not because we're trying to like, you know, reel you into the dark side It's really kind of to just understand living with an addict at least for me when I question things about why can't you You know use anti addictive drugs, you know, they're proven to be scientifically anti addictive Why can't you smoke marijuana when it does this and that these are all this is just my questions living with a partner

Who's an addict and I don't understand it. So I'm going to have questions It's not because I'm trying to bring you in and somehow like No, if you've made it 14 years, you'll be fine. You're not gonna go back. But also, yeah, but I mean, I'll be honest with you when you say right When you say I'm not an alcoholic. I understand that but just let's just this is what I'm saying. Okay You're being very combative with me right now. Okay. Really? No, I'm kidding Now what I'm saying is that it there are times where it like because of the The marijuana laws that changed, you know, how easily accessible it is

When you go to like Seattle and they have like marijuana bars now where you could you go to a menu, you know All I loved marijuana and I'd love to do it You know, I would love to go to colorado and own a marijuana farm So it's appealing. Yeah. So there is a there's a slight temptation there to go there But I have to remind myself that See, I have self-control. I don't drink. I smoke. I can smoke and not drink Or not do cocaine. The way you said that was like fucking cocky. All right Do you have questions? What are we at? What are we at? How many? How long are we an hour over an hour?

Wow, that that was a good you know what I like it. I'm sorry. I'm sweating I you know what you you got really serious there and I felt your energy and I'm being honest with you You need to go to a meeting this week. I can't Oh, I'm gonna make you because this should made me nervous just now. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where I don't know where to go Look on look online same one or no the same ones. I can't Oh It's drama there, but let's not get into it. He doesn't want to run into somebody. Oh, yeah, there's a spectacle He doesn't want to run into somebody

unholy You loved being a spectacle A spectacle. Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalyla. Stop fucking interrupting this thing Fuck Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalyla and you Wow Hello everyone at tiger belly. I'm a new fan and I love the podcast around the years of preschool My sister and I became sexually active towards each other

Our parents were who? When preschool preschool his brother and sister. Yeah, brother and sister His sister and himself his sister and himself. Yeah around the years. Sorry about that, sir Around the years of preschool my sister and I became sexually active towards each other Our parents caught us Caught on to our acts old enough to intervene through child counseling for about a year The activity between my sister and I had seized however It started to happen with other child relatives

This caused silent turmoil throughout the entire family The numerous sexual acts were known but never no one ever spoke of it. It's the point where my sister and I hated the kind of Hated it's the point where my sister and I were hated kind of from the start of this all weird sentence I'm 23 year old now and I haven't spoken to any of my family in five years My sister is a mother now also with no contact with our family My question is how do you move on from a dark past? It's okay. It's not a dark past It's not a dark past because if you're a preschooler and any any anything that you do under the age of 10 That hyper sexuality is so

Normal, but no one talks about it. So it becomes this like taboo subject but Experimenting with other kids your age whether it's your sister or not. Like I feel like That's just not talked about all this shame. Yeah, but there's no shame in that before you read it I said it was weird. You know what now when I heard the whole thing. It's not weird. Let me just say something. Okay It's natural I've done shit that I can't even talk about. No, I know. I know you don't know other things. Yeah, we haven't talked about it I know, but I know

I've done shit. I've done shit. Bob is just kidding Yeah, well, it was over the age of 10. So it gets a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, but um, I've done shit that like, you know I mean is unfathomable You know, so um, and it's just It's just growing up man. Did you do you remember being like hypersexual when you were younger? Like with other kids, right? Yeah, we would lay down on the floor and my mom would like Walk over us in a dress and when we saw her panties, we'd be like, oh Yeah, I mean like I think that's just normal. Oh, that's a good Korean game. That's a good Korean game.

That's an old traditional Korean game. So he's 23 now His family is like he's completely disconnected to his family. His sister's disconnected to his family How do you how do you get over that? Yeah You make new friends who are more family to you than your old family was Yeah, because if they're gonna continue to make you feel ashamed of something that you did as a child Then you don't need them as family. You're right. That's on they're unhealthy to you. You're unhealthy. Yeah, they say, you know My therapist says that in Dysfunctional families the scapegoat is always the healthiest

That makes sense. That makes absolute sense. And in dysfunctional families In dysfunctional families, um, the victim is always the villain and the villain is always the victim Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I have a great therapist. She's famous Is she in LA? Yeah, I need it. Can I get in? Oh my god. Can I get in? Yeah, I need I need another therapist. I think I have a lot of problems I'll refer you. I'll email. I'll email you guys. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. She's amazing. I'm gonna do it also, um Give any other questions. How did okay when when in your family dynamic when when that whole thing happened with your cousin The whole like dick sucking thing or whatever. Don't say that again. Okay. What I'm saying is

Did it pull you guys apart? Did it I want to be friends with all my family But are there some that like I don't know. I don't I don't know. I don't I don't I don't think I'm close to any of them right now Give your brother. I have my brother and that's it and it's sad. I love eddie. He's one of my younger cousins um Can you be my brother? I'll be your brother for sure. I am your brother Right. Yeah, and a show that I saw I've been addicted to

and I really recommend it to anybody because It's cry fest. It's cry fest for sure. Long lost family. We've talked about it a few years ago. I know but the new season just came out In the first episode. Oh, man. Got you. You got me. Oh, you got you. Oh my god last night. I was in my hotel room Um, just tears coming down. I think it calls me at four in the morning. You have to watch Please watch it. It's so good. It was really sad Yeah, and it's always like I mean no one's gonna see it. So I'm just gonna tell you what it is but um There's this one of them where it's like this girl obviously she was 17 she

She got pregnant her parents her mom made her get her give her up the son up for adoption It's 40 30 years later And then they find the son and Because you know they give her a letter that her mom and he's reading the letter on you know on camera And he's genuinely like just shaking and crying. It's so sad. That's sad and good Very very much it. I love sad movies. Yeah, they're really good. It's a tv show Each episode too

Like it's just very rewarding at the end sometimes not always because yesterday The the daughter that she adopted out didn't want to meet her remember with another story There's always two stories or whatever. Yeah, sometimes it doesn't always Happy ending but for the most part it's like just a sob fest and it feels real good inside. Okay. So now um, do you anything to plug for you? um Yes You can plug my podcast coup in the gang coup in the gang. What am I gonna get on it? Uh, let's do it When though uh, uh, yeah

Yeah, I'm just like this week I need to come you can't do anything next week Maybe next week. Let's do next week. Yeah, let's do next week. And then um your show. Yeah, look out for sorry. Not sorry Sorry, not sorry. I'm seriously dot tv with man and hannah and tracy We're having so much fun working on it And go to funny coup.com funny coup coup.com. Yep. Okay anything for anybody else your shows Um, bobby will be at houston improv march 3rd through the 5th. Yeah, and later at the end of march You're gonna be at san anacasino in new mexico for more dates. Go to bobbyleelife.com. Yeah

And then um, we have a merch out this week is gonna be a terrible week. It's not you're busy How is being busy a terrible thing? I hate it He doesn't want to go to any of his auditions When things are dry and he's not going out i'm you know, that's it. I'm out You know, i'm out like my career is over my career is over and then he starts, you know pilot season He gets auditions and then it's even worse. It's more of a spectacle. He doesn't want to go to any of them Oh cancel. This is torture. I don't know if i'm gonna go. Cancel, cancel. I sent my sister into an audition. I didn't want to go Are you fucking kidding me? That's amazing

No, I see you rely on their racism. They're like, yeah, she looks about the same. It was in new york Oh, really? That's amazing. How'd she do? Not good She booked the national Imagine if she booked it. That's amazing. That's a good one. I'm doing rose battle march 28th at the comedy store That's good too. Yeah Are you um, you have having writers or are you doing it yourself? I'm doing it myself. Do you know who you're up against already? Yes, who alex dung

He's an asian comedian. I know him. You know him. Yeah. Yeah. Will you be our judge? I'll do it. I'll judge asian special There you go. Um, anyway, thank you for all the also this t-shirts. Thank everyone people. Oh, that's right Thank you so much you guys for buying all this merchandise. We're about At the very tail end of selling out your shirts left almost less than that. There's only 20 shirts left for the The white one. Yeah, yes, you're right. It's great. Um, so thank you for killing it. Anything else glial? Um, nothing for bobby. I'm good. All right Uh, so make sure you follow us on tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly and on twitter at the tiger belly

And email us any questions at the tiger belly at gmail.com george anything All right, thank you See Hey Prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey