TigerBelly - Episode 81: Moth in a Jar
Episode Date: March 8, 2017Bobo is Kang. Khaly is a frog mom. We talk exoplanets, lack of context, and the nocturnal life.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art1...9.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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What's my life without you it's what's my life basically with my heart being by itself
What about what's my life without these mud rivers?
You know what we're gonna do we're gonna take a DNA test why do you think I'm Filipino?
I hope so I'm not she texted me was like I think Bob is a little bit jungle Asian and she put a prayer or something
I might be do you know how happy I would be if I found out like he was actually like half Vietnamese or something
Why I love the Vietnamese people. What are you saying? It's his favorite type of people. I love all people. What the fuck are you saying?
I'm just saying you shit on us. I wouldn't know. I do it as a joke
Okay, I love all people except for Eskimos
I hate that Inuits. Yeah, no, I love Inuits. I love the apocalyptic Mexicans
You know those ones the ones that wear G star. Yeah
I learned that from you Bobby. You said star. You said look at that apocalyptic Mexican. He's wearing G
No, I love it when like, um, but here's what I like
Is I love it when like Mexicans sneak across the border. Yeah, then they work really hard
But then they they go to G star because they can afford it expensive
But then their faces don't say G star. Ah, I see their faces are apocalyptic. Yeah
What kind of face is a G star Pharrell? Pharrell is the face of G star right now. Yeah, that's a G star face for sure
I think crystallia is a G star face
I feel okay. Nevermind. I won't bash G star. No, I like G star. It's just not Rod Denham
Yeah, I have a couple things from there and I'm not it rips apart like the first week you get it
We are not sponsored. Shout out to our sponsor G star. We did shit on you. We lost you
Yeah, and um, I just wanted to apologize to Kalilah because um,
You know, you go through this relationship and you realize I'm a bad boyfriend and I'm very difficult to live with
I am very difficult to live with and I'm a disaster. I don't know how anyone deals with me
I don't know either. I'm just moody. I'm I'm I'm fucking crazy
I want I want to call all of your ex-girlfriends and give him like a like a civilian award or so of some sort
Yeah, and just say hey look like thank you for dealing with him before me
Why?
Because I'm sure at some point to some degree they primed you to be a better version than
You know, you were when they first met you so little by little each woman that has been with you has made you a little bit better
And I think that finally by the time I received you you were a little bit more tolerable. I understand that but you know what?
I'm pure gold
And I'm god, I thought you were apologizing. I know I'm pure gold and I'm pure spirit
And those are two things that are it's a fact. Okay, and um, I have character defects
But don't you ever forget about what I am or what I am is slap
slap
You know about sun came but him they heard about slap time. He's a new king. No, he slept king. I knew came but slept
so um
So I want to tell you what happened to me last week. Mm-hmm
And I don't I don't know, you know, we talk about show business. I don't I don't really like it, you know, but um
I just want to throw this out. I want to throw this out. I really believe this about myself that I literally believe that I have no talent
Because people go oh, you were funny. You don't know what's going on in the inside
When I'm doing things, you know, like when I'm performing like they know
You're terrible, you know, I don't have a good
Self-esteem, right? Mm-hmm. So this year. I was just like, you know, my age is like, you know, there's not a lot of pilots
You know, so I go
I don't want to go out
I was like, well, you there's fives. You got to go out for at least the five. Yeah
So literally every single audition they got gave me I just said I'm not doing it
Oh, you went to two
I did. Oh wait not network though. No, no, no. They were um, I did a couple of movies or something. Yeah, yeah
So I just said I'm not doing policies and I'm because you know, I'm doing a little bit of love a couple episodes and then I got Diplo
So I'm like, I'm fine
And then last week. Oh, I'm driving down the street
And everyone calls and they go congratulations
I go, what you got a pilot
I don't audition
Right
So I go, what is it? Are you sure?
This is a trick
Just because you know, you know when people do it, right? But who are these people? No, just check it out when you fucking do it
This is what you see
You show up
There's about 100 people in the lobby. They're all reading for the same part
You go and they go go you do it. Thank you
And then you leave and you never hear from them again. That's all every audition
And I just this year. I'm like, I'm gonna go through that again
Because then once you get through that first one, then you get a call back
We're producers watch you
And then thank you if you get through that you have to do three or four other fucking things
It's a nightmare
And I don't have the I don't have the spirit to do it
But you have a pure spirit
That's different though. Those are two different
We've been trying to know about realms bro
We've been practicing manifestation
Yeah, you know, we instead of going to these auditions
We've been we manifest it every day. We're like, look, we want a new house
We want something to just fall on our laps every day. We pray for it
We want a new place so that we can get a bigger tiger belly studio
So that we can have bigger guests and it's for you people
I swear we're doing this for you a win for bobby is a win for all of us guys
But then you check it out. So then I show up so I so I get it and I read it and I go
Oh, yeah, I can't tell you who's in it. But the pretty okay pretty big people are in it and then um
But then today
They go well yesterday
I was in houston flying in and they go you have to come
And you have to do a table read because they don't know if I can even do it
Right. So now they're like come in you got the part we offered it to you
But you have to read it in front of everyone and then you don't we're gonna we might go nah
We my god, right, but I was my light my flight was delayed
So I missed it. Oh, I'm in houston. Sorry
But then today they go
You got to do it again today. You had to come early
So the whole cast like six people showed up with all the producers and it was my turn to talk
And I swear to god, this is what came out. So let's just say hey, bill
I'm I'm not gonna tell you the character because I want to mention what a hey, joseph the grocery store is the other way
I
That's how it came out. Bobby. Okay. No, that's how it came out. And when I was talking
You can see everyone through my peripheral side eye. He's done
He he he's eating it
And this is disaster and there's also four kids in the show and they're all like, you know, I mean
Who said their lines perfectly are looking at me like yeah, this guy's done
Who is this? Yeah, who's this guy?
and so
After what was done, then we had to go to the big room
Now in the big room you have
Warner Brothers president
Oh god abc president all the executives and I literally
Did it like I was speaking your language, baby. Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, like it was literally so
So then I took my script and I showed you guys this right and I wrote down little fucking notes
Yeah, oh, they can't see this
And I put right here. I put I put right here. Just read it
Right, just remember those most actors put acting notes. Yeah, I don't know. I don't I yell at myself
No, I yell at my own self, right? Watch what I put here
slow
Those were your notes basically just because those are things that I understood because they're big bold letters, right?
So, you know, what the fuck up man? It's as slow as I go. Oh, you know, I slow it down
Because what happens to me? I I get so nervous. I read it fast and then I my mind is ahead of what I'm saying
And then it's it's a crane train crash
All the words and then it comes up
That's why that comes out that way
Damn, right in the same way. Are you really I get nervous you get nervous, right?
People are watching so you go right speed through the lines, right? Get it over with. No, you have to slow it down
Sing it so fast. Right. They think you're doing Asian accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Fucking
Oh, Bobby leaves my coach
He's my acting coach
So then I
So then I did the notes and I literally I did a prayer to God because
this could have been
But the Lord Jesus because you know, I've talked about this
My finger he's touching my finger right now, right? I've talked about that, right?
I did that
Right and he touched it
and it went perfectly
Bravo and then after no, don't clap. Don't fucking patron on mo
We're not patronizing patronize me. Patron. Patron normal. Don't patron on me me. Okay
That's what you're doing right now. Oh, I'm not. No, I'm not. I didn't say it
out of for applause
I said it because
I survived it. Sorry kang. Who's kang? Slup kang
So, um, now I have to do it and I'm shooting it next week. That's huge
It'll be fine
But you know what? Um
This I I'm gonna be completely honest with you and I'm about to cry
I really am. All right
I've had
The best
career when I started this podcast
Everything happened pretty much around this podcast
Do you do you guys know that?
This this is where my fear sets in too. It's like
While everything sort of snowballed every little thing that we've done into this pod in this podcast has snowballed into little projects for you
Into bigger projects for you, right?
But this is where it gets a little bit icky and this is where George and I have actually been talking a lot in the last week
Because we're no you're out
What the fuck look it's for we use them in this day and age. I feel like everyone's trying to drag
Innocent people through the mud. Yeah, and I don't think that even I don't think there is as much free speech as we think there is
And so when what makes me nervous about it all of this is that you know
You now have let's say like a network job and anyone essentially can get can take pull anything out of context of what you've said in this podcast because it is
Just say this right now. Okay
This podcast is out in the world
It's already out there, right? So if they're not gonna vet me
Before signing, you know giving me a contract. But we're not mainstream. I don't know but still doesn't matter
It's not like as if it's not I don't you know the other day I go
You know, I was on a radio show and they had a rewind it because I said I sucked dick and
You know when I was a kid, you know, this is a radio show. You can't say that
I'm oh, I'm sorry. You know, I mean, I just say it. Yeah, so I'm not gonna edit. No, it's not it's not even about that what I'm saying is
Let's say even if you listen to the whole podcast really it's it's you can tell everything is said in jest, right?
But for what they did to PewDiePie say for instance
Who's that who's PewDiePie? It's he's a youtube star with like 50 million followers. Yeah
And
He's the top youtube star in the world 52 probably 53 million subscribers now
if you
If you took every one of those and they voted for president, he would be for the president of the united states
Okay, so what happened what happened is he's backing up these youtube stars so fucking grossed out. He's actually I actually love this guy. He's interesting
Uh, don't do his podcast fuckface
Tell me what happened. Okay, so so what happened is uh, the wall street journal did a hit piece on him
Yeah, basically taking uh three or four videos out of context
Where he like dressed up in uh, nazi garb to make fun of like nazi putting in like some heroes
Thing where you could like flag videos for being bad. So he was saying this is basically fascism
So he was making fun of youtube once then once he like did a video where he was like
Saying that the media will take anything out of context
And he dressed up and like watch the hillar speech. Yeah
They took that and a few other videos completely out of context
Did a hit piece on him
So he got dropped by maker studios by disney. Yeah, yeah
Okay a week before maker kind of imploded. Yeah, but
Complete hit piece. I think uh for me. It's the end of mainstream like journalism because it's so obvious if you look at the facts
That it was a hit piece to discredit him because wall street journal and everybody they're losing money
But the problem with that is for reasonable people or for you know, we'll we'll we'll look into it and be like
Whoa, this was not he's not an anti-semite
But for the majority of clickbaiters
Of they're going to eat that shit up because they just love to recreationally be outraged
So they're going to jump on that fucking bandwagon of like tearing this guy down just before this. I was on a tinder date and like
Okay, it's going fine. Oh, really George. It makes sense. It's still lying, huh?
Fucking tinder day. It was going great. And then I was sucking Bryce's dick
Go ahead
It's a natural segue if you'd listen you
Okay, go ahead. Um, oh or frickers
So what happened tinder date? No, it was going great for 45 minutes that I that I mentioned like yeah
Like you know, like I love youtube like watching just the PewDiePie like the youtube drama
Like that's what you say on a first date George. It had progressed. I like what do you like?
Why do you what do you watch on youtube? Okay? Okay. Okay. What do you want?
Why do you watch youtube and I'm like I I don't watch it that much
I just stay up on the drama like fun things like when PewDiePie gets in trouble and she's like, oh, you mean that anti-semite
Yeah, and I know you do that. You pull your dick out suck this. This is an anti-semite
Yeah, god damn it. Why did I pay for this already?
I just say this I'm gonna shut the fuck up for a second. It's perfect example of how it's not a perfect example
Well, look another good. I'll tell you why it's not a perfect example. Okay
I already know people out there that don't like me
I can I can I know them
Okay, there's comics that don't like me
All right, and what I'm saying is is that he didn't lose anything. What do you lose maker? Well, he's
He can do it on his own. Yeah, he has his own entity. What's the point? He he gained his freedom. That's what I like
He's a free person now and
And kids no longer believe in like the media like they'll they know that things are taken out of context like everybody
So you guys you guys are afraid that like something like, you know, I mean, I'm gonna get a job like this and then one day
Somebody's gonna go what somebody's gonna make a montage of some bullshit that we said and because they're not fans of ours
They don't listen to them. What are some of the things that I've said that you can you recall and then just say it?
I'm not gonna give him a free
I want you to do it now. Just tell me some of the things that I could have said
Jungle Asians that's number one. That's a fact
Asians that live in the jungle. Yeah, that's a fact. Go ahead. I can't get in trouble for that
You call us mud people like what else you I'm a mud person too, but we're in the snow. We're snow mud
Slush
Go ahead. Slush Asians. Tell me another thing
Um, that black people are oily. No, baby. Okay. Look Freddie Mercury story
Freddie Mercury. I didn't that somebody told me that story and then the other and I didn't do that
If I'm the one if I'm the one that was the dry land
Sucked a little boy in the butthole and then as I pulled my dick out his butthole came out with my penis
And I told the fucking madame. Can I get another one? I broke this one
Right, then of course, I don't deserve anything. Yeah, but I'm just telling you a story of what I heard. Yeah. Yeah the great
Fine, right. So I've never said anything. Not neither did beauty pie, but he dressed up as hitler though
That's a big punch
But it wasn't if you actually in the context it if you don't if you don't believe in what he did then satire is dead
That's the thing. You cannot take something to the streets. You don't wear it. You don't make a hitler
For instance, like, okay, I know that you know, I'm one of them. I but I don't like Milo
Yiannopoulos. Is that how you say his last name? All right guy, right? Yeah
Yeah, obviously like this guy is hateful. Obviously like all all the adjectives apply to him
I don't particularly like him
But I do I think that he ought to not be allowed to speak in a college?
No, I think that was BS to fucking
He said something about
Raping or having me have sex with underage kids. He was molested as a 14 year old. That doesn't matter. You you don't and he didn't say
It was okay. He just said look the reality is that 14 year olds do get with older people in some countries
And guess what he said he said that he should there should be a he should not be illegal
Look my point is that's just the last thing that happened to him. What I'm talking about is
More than that
I'm not I'm not defending
He's singing the song the Filipino song
Like, you know, I dislike him deeply. I love him if he had just okay
Put that in the montage motherfuckers Bobby and Milo
But you know people always cry about like how dare people give him a platform like when he was on bill mar
How dare people give him a platform to like spew out this hate and stuff?
And it's like look that exists everywhere you go if you can't live your life
Knowing that that exists or hearing it and you can't possibly move on with your life
I mean, there's something wrong. We don't have free speech
It's we don't yeah, and that's my biggest fear about my listeners all know that I'm dumb
And I don't when I say things I don't mean it ever
Because I have no brain
And I have my brain is mush
And so they know that
And I don't feel like if I look back I haven't really said anything that was bad
You know, I mean, I yeah, I talked about eating people legitimately. Yeah, but that's just hypothetical fun theories. You know, I mean, but
I don't I don't know if there's anything out there that can blackmail me and if they and if they do
And some network goes you're fired because of something you said five years ago. Then
That's that
And then what is that going to do? I'm not going to stop
I'm not going to stop doing comedy. I'm not going to stop doing my podcast
just because you know
You know a corporate
Entity doesn't want to do business with me. That's fine
I mean, I want to make money
but
You know, I'm not you want your freedom. I also don't want to play it that safe. It's like
You I mean look at someone like
I mean, don't get me wrong. He wants this
Ken
Right, but you know, you you watch a show like
Dr. Ken and that's what he wants to do. He wants to do a family show. He's a family man. He's got kids
But that doesn't necessarily mean I want ever to do that. I don't ever want to do that
You know, so it's like that's his
Thing, but I'm not going to do that
And there are people that think that I'm a vile disgusting person
But most people believe that I'm a conduit for pure love
In joy, okay, and then I am a light
No, don't do that because you're being sarcastic. No, I'm singing the song. All right. You're patronomal. You're patching on me
But anyway, um
If it worse comes to worse, we'll just go to that. No, it's a new planet. They discovered
The trap is exoplanets. I meant to talk about this like two weeks ago when it was a big thing now
Everyone's forgotten about it. What is it? Can we live? Oh those new planets? That's what they're called
Exoplanets
No, no, no because we had to guests, you know two weeks back to back so we couldn't talk about exoplanets, but
I really wanted to explain to us what those are
Basically, you don't fucking know dude 40 about 42 light years away from here, which is basically
Like not visible at all. There exists. It's 315. No, listen to how far it is
This fucking bitch
15 trillion miles away. Oh 41 light years and you know between like it may not trillion
You know, I mean miles though. We ain't going
Yeah, but if you if we were going if kang and I were going
Yeah, what would I mean a settlement if we could go let's say someone elon musk was like, holy shit
Here's a little space capsule. We're taking two podcasters. You guys are running
And they were like, you know, we promise you that the air is breathable. The atmosphere is livable
And we just don't know the types of animals that actually live there
Would we go it? Well, if they didn't okay, we don't know could we come back though? Yes
But there's always there's always no no we can't go back
How about this you and I one-way ticket, but we know we're gonna live because there's oxygen, right?
Do we know there's an oxygen? I don't want to implode when I land
Well, that was a fucking stupid decision. I'm dead. All right
So you and I go but we don't know anything else. We don't know if there's water
Hold on first question. We could take a third person. Do we take Gilbert or George or definitely Gilbert?
You're gonna implode
I'm the smartest you're not a part of my plans, bro
Yeah, he's gonna your time. You're not survival man because if she dies, he's I'm fucking him. Yeah, and I'm gonna fuck you ever
Okay, okay. I can get pregnant from the butt. Yeah
Only in the exoplanet and only gay sex actually leads to reproduction. Yes, true
But if we show up on this on this planet and we know there's oxygen there's probably water if there's oxygen, right?
Yes, for sure. Yeah, well don't some people don't know. No, right and there are hills
Are there hills? Why after what? He goes there hills. I love to roll down hills
I don't want it to be just water and flat
If there's tectonic plate movement, there's gonna be water. Yeah. Yeah, good. So I need water
I need hills and they're gonna be hills if there's plate movement pastures. Well, there'll be pastures. Just already just pastures
Okay, this is good. We don't know what kind of animal, right? But then we'll have what I'll do is I'll go we'll go down to um
Walmart
There's a walmart in this no no no on earth. Oh, what are you getting first? We go to like
Like Arkansas we'll go to walmart. Yeah shotguns and guns and stuff, right? Three things only you can bring
So that's bullshit. You can't just throw that in there space capsule
We can only bring like a sack of potatoes and like a few other things to grow
I would definitely bring the three things that you don't need then the smart only seeds. Okay. Uh you you name the first thing
Um, obviously seeds. Bobby your first thing. Um one flipper
Obviously for the puddles
Yeah, yeah. Clala second thing. Um a very well sharpened machete smart. Okay. Bobby second thing a monocle
Good good. Yeah, for my eye, you know, because he's the monopoly man. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I hope three
Um
Vibrant bottom hiking shoes
Sure
Beat it nerd. What the fuck is that?
Bobby your third thing a jar with a moth in it
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Hello. He walks, elon. You ready Bobby?
Hello, sir. My flipper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would bring the three wrong things. I already know
But that's bullshit. We shouldn't you shouldn't put a cap on how many things bring whatever you want, right?
I think we should be able to have shotguns and guns so that we can survive, right? Seeds so we can plant shit, right?
and like
some sort of like, um
machetes and and things that we can build things with because if there's
water we we can assume that there's wood right so we'll maybe we do need you
yeah we'll have you chop some shit chop some shit we might have to Skype you
what would you do you know how long that would take that transmission
billions of billions of years and we're dead yeah but um so yeah and but then we
don't know what kind of animals yeah so what what type of animals do you what
if there was just all naked women oh my god oh my god like an island of what I
wouldn't cheat on me yeah I would wow you can scissor them all just fucking
jerk off yeah the next one go my flippers happy I don't need them to
scissors I scissors with you yeah you're my favorite lesbian you're my favorite
lesbian where this is someone's gonna cut that out put her in a montage drop in
there's gonna drop a lgbt comment but that would be exciting though I also
did these are these planets don't rotate so only one side of these planets get
the sun so the other side is completely dark so day the whole day rotate on an
axis yeah so you could but you'd have to probably live right at where you could
cross over between light and dark so you would have to land very very specific
yeah yeah yeah actually it's but it's pretty gradual so you'd have to walk
like fucking yeah that's a good movie idea what you know a colony could they
go to a you know I mean a planet that doesn't rotate so only sun on one side
but they don't can't tell what's on the other side and they cross the thing and
it's like it gets crazy so what lives in the dark doesn't live in the line yeah
yeah maybe it's like space vampires oh and they land on the wrong side of the
planet where the now the whole movie they're trying to get to the other side
of the planet where the light is write that down dude right it's like space
aliens right that you know this this the colony ship whatever goes haywire yeah
they crash under the dark part not knowing that right yeah stay dark right
and then they realize that it's like some sort of like alien but they are
like vampires and it's a whole movie they're just trying to get you know
and then they get to the light part and something worse happens there's
Mexicans yeah what a good movie what a good M. Night Shyamalan
Mexican Stan which pitchforks and shovels and stuff but um and um and also
gonna say this and we don't talk about politics I don't like talking about what
I'm gonna say much about it but is it me or no no is it mean or it's getting
strange Trump it's just him Saturday morning just out of nowhere accusing
Barack Obama why are tapping and then it's like the FBI is like what you know
like Barack Obama needs the FBI to do that right right he's not gonna go to
Trump's tower himself that'd be great if he did but it's like it's it's
crazy you have this leptis king in his ear Steve Bannon so yeah where do you
think he's gonna get his information from from an alt-right article in bright
Bart like Steve Bannon just hands it over to him and then he receives it is like
oh this is news and you were saying we were watching you yesterday you had a
video of that the lady talk about that her name is Megan Phelps Roper and
she's actually the daughter of Shirley Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church
the we hate the gays they're the they're the people who basically they pick it
outside of like funerals of dead marines and soldiers that have nothing to do
with hate the gay but they're like you're trying to protect a society that
you know enables gayism you know so like some poor father whose son died for our
country and these fucks are like you know picketing outside yeah you know base
well she left the church in 2012 and she was actually a key member in the
church and she did a TED talk yeah and she is a very bright girl she's married
now too she's completely just left to marry the demon
who's a demon a Jew but when you go ahead we putie pie guys a joke and that's
not you know I mean yeah Washington post watching the post calm down that was
just a joke okay a joke text matters context matters yes there you go I
don't know what context you can pull up and I'm calling it we hit on Mexicans
already jungle we know we've gotten the whole gamut and I just want to say this
and I hate when people go well I'm not raise it but I have my manager Abby
yeah right he is extremely you know Jewish right and I love her okay she
takes a chunk of my money with fine that's all managers right and one time
just listen to me on her birthday I went to I got her a hat you know that we
didn't use the hat I got our hat like a what do you call it a like from the
Kentucky Derby like it's like I went to a hat maker and I made her a specific
hat for her specific head okay right so I made a hat to hide her I I made a hat
to hide her horns oh yeah yeah your demon horns it's a joke another joke
what's again another joke guys guys comedian Bobby Lee so anyways watch her
Ted talk she makes very very valid points about not people like who are very
you know either we when we're called like liberals who are out of touch or
bigot bigots and racists or whatever and basically she draws parallels from
being in a church and just that otherness that she always felt it's the
same otherness that we're feeling with this like identity politics it's either
you're liberal or you're a bigot right and so there's not enough listening and
not enough like of us trying to see where the other person stands and as long
as we're always pointing fingers and as long as we're always uploading Facebook
posts you know passively aggressively targeting the people who in our friends
list who we know it's going to affect we'll never get to a place of actual
where she is we'll never get it to a place of understanding you know babe I'm
just saying this that's what her Ted talks about so like listen to it it's
good oh yo yo yeah she was she showed me this lady yeah I do believe that this
lady did change and she seems like extremely like woke she really is she
really is and her her speech was clear and she married she's in love with this
you know she's married to this really cool and nice Jewish guy I don't know if
he's Jewish actually why'd you say that last night then I thought because she
lived with a Jewish family yeah she's not no yeah anyway I don't know why you
just make shit up my point is this is that then she started going into that
political angle of it what what you just said and it's like I'm sorry but I don't
agree I'm just done feeling angry because Nick Yusef try to this weekend try to do
it my my opener Nick Yusef was saying you just got to be sympathetic of what
their needs are and what they it's like what yeah here's the thing Bobby you can
still resist and you can still believe all the things you can you can stand
strongly for something but not go on the offensive all the time that's all I'm
saying okay you can still like I might my all all the things that I believe are
still there I still consider myself a feminist and in ways like I'm very
liberal but I'm not gonna fucking not sit with someone no I sit with them you
know what I told fucking already told you when I was in Dallas and I went no
what are you laughing I was in Dallas and I sat through the manager of the club
voted for Trump and the owner of the restaurant and his family voted for
Trump and I listened to them you know I mean and I ate their bacon and I left
right yeah and I'm like wow that's fucking weird yeah but I don't see I
don't understand where they're coming from you know why why because I know
they're not willing to listen to your side it wasn't you in that situation that
was doing wrong they're not a they're not able to deal with you without going
being offensive of not going in the offense you understand so you sitting
down with them and listening to them you were doing something right but them
not allowing you to either state your case or like make comments they didn't
and then he goes yo so their approach is wrong and it can be it can go back and
forth sometimes my approach is wrong because I think that you know I've had a
very aggressive approach in the past and I just think that nothing is all that way
pen give me a pen I'm gonna show you something okay anyways I'd like to change
I'm not changing shit okay I'm not changing shit yeah I know we're not we
don't ever talk about it okay but okay so he said it's not boring this is a
good diagram though all right so he said what as a celebrity it's okay to grab a
woman's pussy this guy Trump are we really going that far well he didn't say
that can I just tell you Bobby every single argument that you're gonna come
up with we've our ears are bleeding our eyes are bleeding because that's all we
read on social media I get it no I get it but what I'm saying to you is this
shut the fuck up first you don't get to talk you don't talk to me because you
are me too is this is a respite from politics we're not gonna talk about this
ever again dear dear we'll never talk about it again but I just say this the
last thing okay it's is that with all the things that he has said and done
right and the lies right and the deception what is there for me when I
look at the picture there really isn't anything in there where I go ah I see I
can now I can glom on to that one thing that positive thing and go I get it
there's nothing and I'm not I'm not I really believe you know what he want
I'm like you know what maybe he's doing a switch and bait you know me he he he
he catered to a certain group so we can get elected and then he's gonna be he's
gonna reach his hand out and his liberal side because he was a Democrat for so
long that he was gonna you know do something do something that it's gonna
unite the country he did the opposite as far as I can tell right he's a fucking
bad dude he's a fucking liar so what how am I I don't understand what you're
trying to say to open your eyes and heart I'm not fucking these people I'm
not saying to open your heart or eyes to him but this citizens who actually
either voted him into office I'm just saying Bobby all this aggression and
all this like hostility it's I have no hostility I eat their bacon I went to
the breakfast was that good it was really good he's a really good Texas be
there really good you know what baby please don't do that to me right now
what am I doing you go oh yeah all that stuff I thought in the beginning of this
podcast you were apologizing to me and now I speak I did I'm sorry yeah go ask
what was that thing you said 4 a.m. he did what he said he oh so don't okay so
oh my god last night I couldn't sleep because I was so nervous yeah today so
for I look I woke up and I looked at the window okay okay so before Clila moved
into my house okay there's a gigantic window a sliding glass door oh yeah yeah
right so I took oh someone died so I took black tape blackboards and cardboard
and I blocked out the light oh so you can never even open it it's just I don't
want to open up that's where the outside is you know me when I'm sleeping I want
pitch black not I don't want I don't want a beam of light yeah it irritates me
okay it gets under my skin singes his skin it singes my vampire yeah well you
know but anyway um but then Calila when I was on the road one night I'm not
fighting with you I'm just stating a fact all right she goes well there's a
balcony there we should have more light I think it has to do with my you know my
mood the darkness right so she tore all the fucking things you know down right
and then now there's a little brown blanket you know I mean that's on there
and there's all this light going through I can't sleep so what did you do so
last night I was I woke up and I took tape and I'm trying to put the blanket
back on the thing using like duct tape yeah blanket yeah I was watching him
frantically hey snapchat it was like losing his mind it was four o'clock that the
Sun wasn't out so he was because I was foreseeing I can feel the earth
rotating and as the Sun is coming within the next two hours felt it and I
didn't want to meet it yeah okay he was also just very anxious so every
movement that I made he turned the light off and like the light is off like he
would just make these weird like and then I know he was on and then I'll open my
head look at her and she's just staring into her phone like I don't even know
what you're looking at I'm watching something on my iPad no there was one
point we're just looking at a phone I don't know you're that's what people do
on their phones is look at it usually all right what do you do for a phone not
look at it for like an hour just hold it and not look like this right that's
even weirder and then my dog wants to sleep on my face what do you mean she
prefers to his the warmth of his dirty head so if she literally where is it on
my head like a hat you know and I had to goddamn it you know I mean I get
fucking furious listen my listen it's the Leaf family is this man you know
being a slept king right you need sleep it's a it's in the title if I don't get
nine ten hours of deep sleep there's trouble on the way okay so tonight before
I go to bed tonight I'm gonna take this black tape George with your name on the
side of it look at please return look at this is black tape on the sizes is
please return to George Kimmel yeah cuz I bought that why do you label all the
things you all that's gaffer tape it's worth like 20 bucks 20 bucks here's 40
I'm taking it we're gonna do for your next center day and I'm not accepting it
you're taking it I'm taking all this tape though sweetie we do have all this
tape for somebody who will easily throw 40 bucks at the gentleman across the way
couldn't you just have invested in some blackout blinds when you moved in here
if you hate the Sun so much I don't know how to do that you mean you just call
company and say hey I'm not calling nobody I'm not calling nobody but you
should see what he actually uses to block the light what do I use toys toys like
he buys toys he bought it was blank illustration boards boxes of his toys
yeah three layers of blanket aluminum of like foil yeah you play fallout man you
know how to build that see and that's the positivity I was looking for you all
day that you know what you're right there right there right there right now
that's gonna win with me okay okay that positivity and that gleaming smile
right there and back no look at me right now I feel like I'm gay right now
look at me right now dude right now yeah okay all the time you have a soft
smile come on what and it seeps into my shit okay and I love it keep doing that
shit do you know you you have another thing coming what do I have coming but
like put the fucking thing back on what son isn't gonna kill you Bobby we met
George's parents last week oh you missed out so I couldn't make it where's parent
where your parents I'm so glad you didn't bother it oh yeah they want to
meet everybody I was really afraid so I couldn't make it next time next time
you're in Chicago we can go up for a whole like weekend a whole weekend with
the ranch I'm pretty serious we can go canoeing it's like the biggest and oh I
could possibly say right now no parents are listening I don't are they
listening no they're not okay good first thing I'm doing something I really
enjoyed but don't listen to it you guys are farming white gypsies out there doing
some sort of fucking white magic or whatever and fine do what you do it's
America but I'm not getting involved my friend just come for a relaxing weekend
that's what happens how every horror movie just out no that sounds like get
out yeah oh I saw you guys should watch it Jordan texted me Friday and in in
a rage did you see it why in a rage so because he wanted me to see it because
him and I we love movies and I haven't seen it yet but I texted him I go and I
read the reviews and and a lot of people have seen it and you know it's
unbelievable here's what so I don't know if you know this but Jordan Peele was I
worked with him on Matt TV for six years Jordan didn't have a car oh yeah so we
would have to like it sometimes you'd he'd walk down Highland to get to this
the studio and I'd have to pick him up you know in my car and we I love him he's
like a brother to me he's so talented but him doing key and peel him writing
directing get out makes me feel so fucking lazy and sad for myself that I
spent I spent 10,000 hours playing fucking destiny while he's like being
proactive and make getting shit done and he's super talented I mean his you know
I mean his ideas of things you know are very you know creative and wow like our
fucking vampire move with the planet but my point is is that yes so I'm so
fucking proud of him and then I ran into Josh Myers last night at Gelson's
when I gain your eggs and Josh was talking about the movie how it's amazing
and because Josh was also on that TV with us and yeah it's I'm just really
really and he's a nice guy too you know a lot of people you know when they when
they make it you know I don't I don't get happy because I know that deep down
inside they have black hearts you know but he has a white he's a nice he's a
nice dude he's a soft one I love him I really do and he's like one of those
guys that well one time I showed him I was on the internet and I showed him
some Russian guy get his head bent beheaded I just out of nowhere I go
check this out and he saw it and he didn't talk to me for a year for a year
yeah because of the scar don't you guys will don't ever show me shit like that
again oh shit he's a soft one he's a good dude and he's life he's pure life
and in fact I want to get him I think we can get him for the podcast awesome we
get him soon okay put that down Jordan Peele and I thought that Delia did a
good job last time you know and I also love Esther she's been texting me do my
show I might do her show and listen this podcast right now I love it it's my
life it is it's my life I go to the fucking I was in Houston and all these
kids come up and then where's Kalayla you know where's Gilbert where's George has
a pink dick you know nobody was asking that I swear to God people say it's
people say to me all the time face people yell it from the crowd George has
a big take and then I have to explain to the people that don't know oh this
producer yeah his dick is really pink he sends a picture I think it's had the
opposite effect on me like Gilbert he goes out and like he gets recognized and
he like it's it's kind of a cool thing for me like many sense videos of like
tiger belly they love you guys I know they love you too what do you they
really do okay and I know you told me you tried to pull me out of the house yes
I tried to get her to go watch something's happened to me in the last year
that like I find myself to be unrecognizable from who I used to be
and Gilbert last over the weekend was like Kalayla like put your come on let's
go out and I don't know how to be outside anymore like I've become like a
fucking recluse I turned it I turned her into me and I'm not this is serious no
don't give yourself that much credit I'm not giving you any credit yeah you
didn't sway me to become a recluse I know my anxiety because I haven't seen
the Sun in three years well you saw it a couple days ago open the black hole
yeah something is going on I think that I need but there is influence you know
there is a little influence yeah I mean the way I behave because if I don't
sleep at 5 a.m. I'll never see you we won't have a relationship if I go about
being the person that I used to be which was you know somebody who got up at a
reasonable time in the morning let's say 9 a.m. and I go to bed let's say at 1 a.m.
right if I do that and if I live by those hours we won't be in a relationship
you need someone nocturnal like you and that's your sacrifice thank you and
that's what you get to board the ship to me to the half-dark yeah I think what's
happened is that I'm living sacrifice thank you I'm living this like a great
yard hours yeah I think it's caused me a lot of but you have to admit the rest
and like anxiety and depression and I think that's the reason why I don't
want to go out and be you safe tadpoles I do I go out and hike a lot but that's
I don't want to be where people are like if you tell me to go hike run in
Canyon I'd like nope because there are going to be people there I go to the
fucking back hills over here and rescue tadpoles that's what I do you're cool
yeah we have a 15 tadpole Bobby looks really excited about that no I he's
actually pretty excited about it he's never seen frogs a morph because you
know they and I think that if you've never seen a morph it's worth you know
kind of yo dude you know I've been watching Planet Earth part two you know
and let me say something right now man I get I get invigorated by shit like
that you know the birds paradise the way they clear they clear out you know the
clear little clearing yeah right and you're right and to call the mate right
and then like the mate the women will go on a stick to look down and the birds
of prey will go check it out and they'll show their chest but it's like a it's a
beautiful color yeah and then the bird girl the lady bird bird goes nah and
then she'll fly away but no but my point is is that they too you know I mean
have to hit on chicks yeah you know me and do all that stuff and I did not know
that and some of them have to work way harder like some birds have to make
nests that are attractive to the female birds yeah so they make different types
like each bird's gonna have different architectural style and they're going to
adorn it with flowers and bright things to attract the mate and if the mate comes
you're like no I don't like your house she'll go and find somebody else with
like a bigger better house so gold diggers are also in the bird species I
guess and then you look you learn about sloths on the island they swim they
swim to find their mate yeah so slow they can't even know they're pretty good
swimmers but I thought I thought when I was watching it if like if like let's
suppose like animal rape mm-hmm like was a thing there's probably six guys in the
world that do that ducks rape no but at human beings oh if human beings like I
like raping animals what do you mean you can't get away can't get away oh and I
think that when I watch stuff like that why that's not a good frame of mind to
be in I know I have other thoughts like oh look at the way they swing but then he
goes back to but I go back to like that animals I was yeah yeah because as soon
as they hit the ground it's like 50 guys gang bang yeah yeah yeah I don't care
I don't give a fuck about it and then also I just FYI I just saw the last if
you if you haven't watched lost long-lost family I'm just telling you to
watch it again the last one was really made me cry again they all make you cry
Bobby all of them okay what are we doing now and helpful advice what do we do
on time oh we're at 50 people are like we wanted longer why do people say that
they want to do like a three-hour one but then there's gonna be people like
no please don't do a three-hour one oh but check it out dude so um here's good
news when I did that thing with Bill Burr and Al magical you know we're with
all things comedy and you played poker was that I saw the picture yeah with
Bill Burr and out for a video that they're doing and I cheated and and I
think Bill is mad at me how did you cheat I looked at his cars a couple times
on camera yeah he has a four in a seven yeah and then I never seen anyone with
that kind of reaction like he literally was like you're dead to me I think we
should have him on the podcast oh we'll get him we'll get him but my point though
is is also they said that they're really happy with us on their channel so you
know that's gratitude all things comedy and we're grateful to them too yeah it's
a really good place to be and they have great people and tons of other good
podcasts too so if you're running out of podcasts just listen to us just listen to
us just re-listen to all of our great comments subscribe do all that stuff oh
that's right okay we'll talk about that at the end yeah what is it I'm we'll do
two unhelpful advice because I have one on my phone that was I have one that I
got an hopeful vice with Bobby and Kalala or before you go I'm sorry can we
talk about the UFC after I was through this okay okay okay got that okay this is
from Twitter from at bag of emotions how do I keep pushing through life when
the universe constantly hands you setbacks are we too dependent on time
how does one keep going jeez that's a broad broad no I got the specific thing
right and I really mean this less is more less is more don't want it don't
want good things minimalist take you know I mean live simply right dream big
visualize you really have to visualize because I'm gonna tell this right now
and ask anyone in this room ask anyone in the comedy industry who's the latest
one right here I haven't done anything I knew as a network division no that's
not what I'm saying I'm just saying that I've been able to survive because I
closed my eyes right no I'm being over the way no I know I'm doing it now right
I close my eyes and I envision like you know being I don't know why but at the
Academy Awards and then I go hey Daniel and he turns around and go hello Daniel
oh Daniel Craig whatever either one hello it goes up and then like just being you
know I may never get there but I think I will I think one day one time I'll be in
a fluke thing but not you know and then they're gonna be like he got nominated
or something and then we show up it's gonna be a fluke but I visualize it and
I really believe it and you can laugh all you want right now I know people are
laughing like fuck you it's never gonna happen it may not but what I'm saying is
is that I have these fantasies I really do I fantasize about things all the time
and I believe it and I you know I just try to touch and feel the you know where
I'm at but you also go to work what I mean you're the laziest person but you
make as you're it's wrong to say just fantasize and wait for things to fall in
your lap because you go out there you go to auditions you work hard even though
you are lazier than the bunch you still go and show up to work so show up to work
that's what I'm saying yeah you can't just not do something yeah I know but
still you don't have to like no but still it's like you do the minimal thing
of showing up and then you dream big next question one more quick one more
quick I have another one this is to both you guys from at Wormslide on Twitter I
want to become a hipster and yet be attractive to a certain Korean chick how
do I go about it is that even possible he wants to be a hipster want to become a
hipster and yet be attractive you're either a hipster you're not what is that
no because there are a lot of fucking fake hipsters they run around just dying
what do you do what do you define as well hipster starter kits I mean come on
no he's not a hipster no he's not he doesn't dress he's a hippie
intellectual redneck that's my new branding if I could vomit out of my
asshole and I would pick up that vomit and I mean how was that tinder date I
mean that's he didn't go on to this guy Wormslide yeah what do you think why
would you need to turn yourself into something simply to attract the woman
like if you can't be yourself and think you can pull her like you're you're
already on starting off on the wrong foot be yourself fuck fuck the labels
don't need to be anything but yourself and try to get her that way more is less
more it's less apparently I have a kind of a long one so Bobby you have to keep
up with me okay let's paraphrase it because I didn't want to answer this
question in a message and it was directed directly at me so I figured I'd
kick the can of worms over to you guys okay so long story short that usually
means the longest story ever my girlfriend broke up with me five days
ago five days as she broke up with me she told me she cheated on me a couple
nights ago we live together and she paid the last month she offered that I can
stay as long as I want I have nowhere else to go due to how expensive rent is
in the area only option is to go back down south to my family it's really the
last thing I want to do since I'm still staying although most of my friends told
me to leave and not stay I've decided to stay anyways and find closure these past
three days it seems we had a huge spark between us we planned for a kid in the
future and she promised she'll have a baby in the future and that we will get
married we had sex more times in the past few days and we did all last month
the sex and a love is like how it was two years ago when we first started
dating we first are dating passionate and in love again we still but anyways
here I want to stay here for the last month and have the time of our lives
together and do a lot of things we missed out on I haven't told her I've
forgiven her but I'm acting like I did and she's getting it anyways but here's
the question mm-hmm she's she has been a hundred percent honest with me when I
ask about the other guy she answered a lot of my questions about them and blah
blah I'm extremely conflicted and not sure if I'm being fair to myself she's
still fucking she's she's fucking other dudes still and still but telling him
about it we stop it I get that can I say what I want to say oh my god whipping
boy no that's not it basically that's his dilemma he's like he wants to he's
desperate okay go ahead this is what you do this is what I would do is you go
okay you want to break up you cheated on me fine I'll stay here until I get my
back on my feet I'll live through the pain suffer through it right but you
know fuck her again and you close the door on her she's done with you you you
are way more okay I mean you got to respect yourself man what the fuck are
you doing she she she crossed that line and fucking lied to you that lying in
that way cheating right is the biggest sabotage okay like if you cheated on me
you I'm just right or bright yeah yeah or you know you bitch
Brendan so what I'm saying I love Brendan okay but my point is this okay is if
you did you would see a side of me you've never seen before I wouldn't get
violent but I would get even okay fucking believe it in yourself man leave
her yeah she doesn't respect you back yeah but also you I understand what he's
doing he's just so desperate to have a little bit left of her or with her so he
thinks that she's not changing her mind she's still fucking other dudes coming
home and fucking she's basically her having her cake and eating it too and
I'm not gonna lie I think that I have been that girl before and I'm gonna tell
you right now that I didn't have I there was I didn't have respect for guys like
you I've done a lot of bad shit in my past and I've I've come home to a person
and told them yeah I've slept with other people and he still wanted to have me in
his life because I don't know and I I didn't have respect for him really that's
the perfect answer he was like a doormat you know and I just kept him for like
convenience or like just yeah and I feel really fucked up even talking about it
it's not a good but thank God that person was Kobe Bryant yeah that person is
still and yeah that person is still one of my best friends now but he'll be the
first to tell you like get the fuck out yeah you know we should have him on the
show but yeah like he he was you and he hated me ended up hating me for a long
time before we patched things up and became good friends you have seen in it
oh yeah you see 209 MMA minute sweetie MMA minute if you guys don't like MMA
check out of this for a couple seconds come back for the end for pink dick
announcements UFC 209 Tyron Woodley for Stephen Thompson wonderful fight very
active not boring worth the 60 bucks Bobby my take is this is that Stephen
Thompson I after two or three rounds I didn't want you to win because you were
playing it so safe you just wanted to get points so and then when I was rooting
for you but when Tyron Woodley in the fifth round got you on the ground and
knew that at that point it was so close that that was going to be the thing
that's gonna sway and I was happy for it for Tyron because what you did was
bullshit and also Tyrone should get fucking penalized you should have went
for it yeah that was fucking Khabib how am I gonna go about Khabib fuck you very
professional good job your your the reason why I wanted to watch that thing
in the first place yeah you against Tony Ferguson and you bail out the day
before cuz you got sick or whatever when you get a different trainer or
whatever and a nutritionist and get your shit down to because let me tell you
this okay the Dana White's pissed I'm pissed the world's pissed
erase that no yeah yeah I'm sorry I don't care to ever be his friend in my
entire life I'm not fucking beholden to the UFC I can say whatever the fuck I
want okay you know I swear to God you're gonna regret what you said you can be
friends with him no you're gonna regret what you said why you think that I want
to be front seat at the UFC no I can still be about to offer us tickets next
week stop you guys yeah but yeah and then um you know that's that mark hunt
satisfied yeah that's what I'm saying like you know I just don't like the whole
mark hunt situation with a whole lawsuit and then Dana White high-fiving what's
his name Ari Ari right after like mark hunt takes a fucking gets knocked out
and it's just like dude you could have been a little bit more subtle about your
excitement there because the guy has given basically the best years of his
life to this sport and you owe him a little bit of respect you know and I
don't think mark hunt is suing the UFC because you know he has this multi-fight
deal and he's had to fight guys who've been roided and you know these
exceptions are given to guys like Brock Lesnar where they don't have to test
four months before they don't have to pay fines and they don't have to pay the
fines for the road for for coming in for pissing hot basically and sure enough
you know Brock Lesnar failed two drug tests after he fucking beat mark hunt so
it's like yeah it is unfair it is unfair for a guy that big especially
heavyweights to come in that roided it's fucking dangerous you know and I'm on
mark hunt side because I think that he's the realist and I he I'm one of his
biggest fans ever and but congrats are you good job oh like I love all else
they're over him and that's another bullshit thing is like both those guys
should have been the Colmaine yeah I don't understand great Colmaine no it
was a great Colmaine with Vanada Vanada and Tamar Tamer yeah it was good any
shows for Bobby we don't know anymore we don't know anymore we do we do go to
Bobby Lee live dot go to Bobby Lee low go Bobby Lola Copacola don't go to that
site yeah and then cloud you know when love comes back on March 10th March 10th
guys Netflix get that stream on see your captain Bobby Lee the slap can the slap
Kang Kang Kang Kang George I'll wait first we'll look at the camera George the
people know you you're here he looks like this oh where's the car you close the
door really quick because there's a lot of a ambiance noise guys we're gonna do
our end of the podcast house cleanup talk about things talk with you guys all
right we have a live show coming up soon we don't have a specific where will it
take place in terms of this city the greater Los Angeles area yes guys
probably up in Burbank maybe not sure yet yeah we'll see but yeah look out for
that probably in a month or so I might announce it in a month away every
podcast for the next two or three add to that I've been buffing to a lot of you
guys in the LA area and so if I see you in LA you can come to the live show
because I think that's cool that you guys support the podcast and love Bobby
Cloud a bunch yeah and I think we'll have more a lot more space than we did
the last time we'll probably still have to vet them a little bit and don't be
crazy please like oh also if we do the same thing as last time where you know
we have people like write in their emails or whatever just a couple tips okay
never mind no no no tip I know you know what right right right what you want
well we'll figure it out we'll figure out the rules for you know what you're
right what you want it actually tells it tells us a lot it tells a lot if you're
writing me eight pages you're definitely not getting invited that's for sure
George like thank you but thank you so much yeah I'm a person who really respects
brevity and I love nice short emails yeah George is like damn it that's why she
hasn't been reading my George like sure I just haven't gotten a response like
dissertation I just send five in a row never I don't think in the history tuna I
ate it wow get him a pizza from brothers what do you want I'll order you
something Bobby's decided what to eat but he's doesn't know what to say I stole
his food apparently I'm sorry sweetie yeah I know it's only if you had
something where you can order food and make it at your house jeez I think don't
say it cuz it's not we're not supposed to talk about that but you guys know I'm
talking about slash belly slash belly they didn't pay for this month this week
oh yeah um but yeah so we're talking about yes the live show yeah and then
another thing in the LA area I'm thinking of just doing a what is it a fan
meetup what are we calling it okay so it is a meetup with George and me we're
talking about it but Bobby Clialo will not be there so I'll be hold on unless
you want it I didn't know about this well we didn't want to show up just a
random thing I think if for anybody who can't like it since we have limited
space for the live show just a meetup of all the fans because we do have a good
community here so what are you guys gonna do at the meetup I just learned
this before the podcast so continue George we'll we'll discover that maybe
we'll have discussions on Reddit or somewhere else let's chat on social
medias guys and let me know what you what you want to do I was thinking just a
barbecue in Elysian Park and everybody who listens to the show that's in the
area can show up yeah send a one-minute video submission on YouTube to George
Kimmel if I have to fucking do self-taste for auditions you guys don't
show up don't even come it better be good anything else I to interviews guys we
are very close to a thousand but let's get up to a thousand please where there's
so many others like podcasts that look you guys like this podcast if you're
listening let's beat out some other podcasts on the iTunes charts I think
we can do it I think that we have a very very our numbers are really good yeah
but because of the iTunes algorithm of needing reviews to bump you up in the
charts that's where we we fall short because yeah we need to to that's where
we need improvement I think yeah so I'm really just happy with our numbers
always going up every week yeah I'm content with that but if you haven't
already kindly leave us a review unless you're not feeling charitable we
don't want anything less than four stars I think or we just say five if you're
gonna go just just toss the five stars if you want to still listening you're
probably gonna give us five stars if you don't like it just walk away don't even
give it a one-star don't even just walk away don't do drugs walk away anything
else George on your own that's it for me okay cool
Clala anything you would like to announce I'm not pregnant not pregnant but
she is although I am a new frog mom she is recently I rescued about 80 tadpoles
over in a mud puddle yes this past weekend and I I relocated them to a
running creek next door but I did keep three for myself because I want Bobby
to see the metamorphosis basically I want to see that too that's cool when
they it's really cute when they start they still have the tail but then they
grow their little legs my only dilemma is that I'm gonna end up having to buy a
large terrarium to house three giant toes what happens to the other tadpoles
you just move those back to the creek yeah I just 15 right no no no now I had I
just have like two or three oh you just okay I thought you had 15 yeah no I had
over like I had over 80 yeah but I just moved them over to the creek and yeah
that's my only new life announcement if anyone that's your huge Clala's a big
announcement found three tadpoles we're gonna watch them metamorphosis I'm gonna
do better well this weekend I'm going lobster diving that's cool because it
doesn't involve people so that's basically the only thing you're gonna get
you guys are gonna get me to do I don't want to go to the movies of any of that
you're gonna go to the movies during the day at a matinee oh hell no I'm already
sweating where there's old people you have to talk to them no which is give me
some give me I'll go dive I'll go spearfishing if we get a boba tea at 2
p.m. where there's other Asians you can interact yeah maybe I need to get back
out in the world you guys I'm gonna try better I'm gonna I'm gonna live my life
again there it is guys if you want if you're listening on YouTube make sure
you comment and give us suggestions for what Calala should do to live her life
again once again the question is what's your Calala do to live her life again oh
wait that's a good thing tell me what I should do and I'll do it it has to be
within California because I'm not willing to fucking go to Alaska and like
fish for halibut I'm not ready but I'm saying if you want me to vlog doing
something like silly not not doing anything also skip all the sexual jokes
haha yeah pass but if you want to help me through my my my social anxiety and my
unwillingness to be out in the public offer up your suggestions and I might
vlog myself you know doing it to try to get out there more we just gonna do it
for you not for me couple people just already commented they want you to do a
live improv show in front of an audience of 80 people 80 at UCB 80 can I do like
I just said open Mike oh they want you to do solo solo improv show by yourself
improv show yeah I could do it and they say also try not to fucking sweat during
it oh god impossibility sweat stash all the way George wins your open Mike show
again just go see you I'm at the tribal cafe third Wednesdays of the month yeah
super excited about my material so that's you can hear the voice you're fine
you're gonna blow up one day you could all right guys I'm envisioning it I am
where can we send packages again to be having 1626 North Wilcox Avenue number
161 Hollywood California 9 0 0 6 8 no that's mine shoot oh no no no no that's
also wrong to wait to wait I just do figure out the zip code fuck you toss it
all in Google and then you can figure it out yes all of you have something
behind him he can check it a lot of you have sent packages we were a little
behind on opening them but we do have all the packages now you guys have sent
the past three months we will open those on camera possibly in a vlog you heard
it vlogs are coming back y'all okay cuz cloud is gonna live her life and then
we're going to open these packages and thank you guys for all the lovely gifts
so make sure you follow us on Instagram because honestly if you follow us on
Instagram and Twitter that's you get the latest news which is at tiger belly on
Instagram and at that tiger belly on Twitter email us any questions you may
have or concerns at the tiger belly at gmail.com or also check out our website
at the tiger belly dot com is it cool I forgot what it was I never go on it
anything else oh follow Klyla on all social media at calamity K it's a really
good stuff guys check out our snapchat too it's super funny
blue it George your stuff now I'm good super secret announcement on reddit
official launch coming in a week or two I don't know you're talking about I know
I don't either I love how George makes I don't even know half decisions I learned
all this stuff on our weekly meeting we learn all these things when you guys
learn yeah I'm like oh you saw shirts can I get one we're sold out yeah well
Bryce is there now so oh okay good good good things good things all right guys
thank you for tuning in we will see you next time hey Prime members you can
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