TigerBelly - Episode 86: Al Madrigal is Our Bossman
Episode Date: April 12, 2017Al and the captain talk about comedy beef, Mitchell's Brothers, mother in laws, and boardroom activity.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https:/.../art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Oh
Five four three two one
Welcome to another edition of the greatest
We're the greatest we're the greatest and the worst at the same time. Oh, there we go. Yeah, best one
Hey, man, I haven't even introduced you yet, man. It's the intro. I mean, I have to I'm gonna give you respect
Okay, but you know, it's not time yet, man. Okay, but don't say nothing. No
Don't even say nothing. All right
So we got Kalyla here. We got George
Oh
Look at his fancy hair now because people recognize him now Brad Pitt. Yeah on the street streets
They go George you're on Tiger Belly and now he slicks his hair back
Now he's so gross
We got Gilbert here my girlfriend Kalyla and I you know, we have a very special guest
Today and the guest is I in many ways. He's our boss. Oh
In all ways in all ways. He's our boss. He owns us and
They we are under his umbrella
His name is Al Madrigal. Give him a round of applause everybody
Not your boss well, you're the co-worker and it's a cooperative and if this thing goes the way
I think it's gonna go. Yeah, we're all gonna be
Very very happy with ourselves
Yeah, yeah, this is great
But you have to admit though that you it's your company. Yes, but have I okay a boss tells you what to do
Have I ever ever told you?
You're like, you know, you I work for you on at United Airlines
We'll talk about that in a second, but I'm saying that you are a good boss like I used to work at a coffee shop
You know, Mike Halloran the 91 X in San Diego. I remember Mike. Yeah, Mike had a coffee shop
And I used to work there and you know the pixies played, you know on our stage during the day
You know, Jewel would come by it was the best job. I had the best bosses and that's what you are, dude
We're the best boss. Sure, but your other co-partner. What's wrong with him?
He's I see oh he doesn't like me. He likes you. That's crazy. Bill Burr does not like me
Well, it goes back to what what you guys had a little bit of an incident where he caught you in a lie. Oh
What a poker lie
I got to find this picture I have the best photo of all time
Bill Burr and Bobby Lee hugging
That I've got to find
Try to find it because it is wonderful
It really is so when Bill Burr first moved to LA
He didn't really have a lot of friends. So he called me and he goes. Hey, it's my birthday. You want to come over?
So I bought him the DVD old boy because I love the movie. I went to his house
I met his fiance at the time or his girlfriend at the time now. They're married and
He played the drums for me. It was great. And then a month later. I lied to him
It was something to do with this is that's right. Yeah, I was at the store and
I knew the bill was there and they go can bill up go up before you the cover booth and I go
No, I don't want him to go before me. I can't follow him. He's gonna go after me, right?
But then I went up to Bill and go. Hey, when are you gonna go up?
Right and he already knew you already knew that I went to the fucking cover booth, right?
Oh, and then he goes you're a Hollywood piece of shit, huh?
Yeah, I was I heard you like he hurt me he was on the other side, but I couldn't see him
Oh, you are and I go. I am a liar
Not good and then I know it's not good and then we played poker
Just recently. Yeah, that's an ATC
That's something I'm very excited about because I've seen a cut of this. Yeah, it is so fucking funny
It's amazing. So we got five comedians together
You got Jay Larson and Jay Larson is really the only guy who knows how to play poker crap
These crap feast is a podcast he's on yet any pep a tone
Who's wearing a news boy cap and then he looks it's ridiculous
Yeah, and he has a podcast called pep talks and then myself
Then you have Bill and you had Bobby. Well at some point and we're gonna put this out
but Bobby I
You got to see the moment where you look at his cards because you just saw your eyes shift over. Yeah in the sneakiest
What is my motto I lied I like to win. Yeah, all right, that's my life, but did you win?
Yeah, I did at the end. I think I won. Oh you won. Eddie Pepperton walked away with $450. I didn't win anything. You didn't win anything. You lied for nothing. I just lied again. You lied just to lie. I just walked around lying. You just lied and you know what? The consequences are none.
There is no consequences to my lying, but yeah, but it was fun doing that and I know that no Bill and I because I ran into Bill at Sebastian's
Baby shower
And he said I saw the video. It's hilarious to do it again. I know I've always liked Bill and it's just a joke. It's a running joke. He doesn't not like me.
You know what I mean? He just you know what I mean?
Is that what you say to yourself to sleep at night?
No, I think that if he really didn't like me that I would not be at. We wouldn't be at ATC.
Yeah, right now. No, it's the truth. If he's like because he has beefs, you know, I have beefs. Yeah.
And
Beefs are good. I think also with mine though, I'm really trying to run this professionally and put those beefs aside and just have a collection of professional comedians.
Let me ask you this. Are there people on your under your umbrella that you don't get along with?
I get along with most.
But are there people in your umbrella that you don't trust?
I've recently let some people go off the network. You did. Yeah, we had to. Why? Because it was it had been decided.
But by who? The comedy gods? You're the boss. You and Bill?
I would never take sole responsibility for this whole thing so that the board of directors, the people I have sort of advising.
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. Now I'm scared.
We could be on the chopping board of directors.
They have a fucking board of directors, babe.
We didn't know that. I didn't fucking know it.
All right, so there's a board. There's a fucking board. Look at me right now, dude. There's a fucking board.
All right, who's it at?
Okay, first of all, I'm going to get the toughest one out of the way. It's Ari.
Shafir. Yes.
How the fuck? How does he know this? How the poor? That piece of shit.
This is a long time ago.
I'm not scared now, babe. No, you should never be.
Boom Chaka Laka. Is he on the board?
People don't know him, but he's a homeless comedian.
Now, Bert Kreischer. Okay.
Tom Segura. Uh-huh. Dave Anthony.
Okay. It's random. Whatever.
All right, Bill. Yeah. Myself.
All right, so when the board get together, do you guys get together in a conference room?
We have. You have. Yes.
How do you guys go? We're going to let some of these go.
Well, there's certain people that aren't trying at it very hard at all.
So they don't record and they, so they have podcasts, but they're just,
and they use the studio occasionally. And that's what we just decided to cut off.
And then how, who calls them?
I had to make those calls.
You're the phone call.
Well, I used to do that. You know, I used to do that job.
I know, but let me ask you this.
The people that you call, are you friends with them? Yeah.
So you know them? Yes.
So, okay, I don't want to know the names. I know you're not going to tell me.
I'll find out. I'm going to find out.
I'll tell you that. I'll guarantee you that.
So let's say you're calling me.
Let's say you have to let go of Tiger Belly.
Okay. Let's know this. Act it out.
I will happily, I'll tell you exactly how that goes.
Because I used to do this little back story is that I used to do this for a living.
My parents own a staffing company.
So at 19 years old, I fired my first person.
I fired a 22-year-old file clerk.
I'm just spacing on her name.
You don't give a fuck.
And I fired over a thousand people.
Wow.
He's addicted to firing guys.
If you saw George Clooney, that George Clooney movie,
I'm dying. Up in the air.
Up in the air, yeah. I'm up in the air.
I used to do that.
So you're good at it. I'm very sincere.
Alright. Ring ring.
I'm picking up.
Hey Bobby, what's up?
Hey, I'm calling about just real quick.
Well, unfortunately, we made a decision.
Who's we?
The board?
Say all their names again.
Okay, the board made a decision.
I know what the board.
The other guy that I never heard of, Dave Anthony.
Dave Anthony has the dollar.
Yeah, anyway, what happened?
Well, you guys aren't recording.
We are. Oh yeah, we're not.
In this scenario, we're not.
In this scenario, you're not recording.
And then, you know, it's a lot of resources
you're being spent.
But there's other stuff you can do.
And we'd happily keep you on as a member of the family.
That's Hollywood hearsay.
That's Hollywood hearsay.
Yeah, you know what?
We've known each other for a very long time.
It's really fucked up that you would call me in this way.
You said real quick. You said real quick.
Yeah, I'm done.
You're done?
I'm done too. Bye.
Hang up. Yeah, we're done.
We would never have a conversation.
Our relationship over.
Yeah, but also if they're not recording every week,
I'm sure they're loving.
No, it's put me in a very difficult spot.
The whole thing has put me.
Yeah, that just what just happened just now
made me feel
horrible.
And all the calls, actually,
there was one that was difficult.
But the rest of them were completely fine
and they understood.
And the most difficult thing is,
we're a group of
peers.
And for your peers not to think this is working out.
But just because everybody has a podcast
doesn't mean
you need a podcast.
There's a lot of people that came on and dropped off.
John Heffron thought he wanted a podcast.
He's a great guy. I said to me,
come on in.
Didn't do it.
But he also just quit.
He just stopped. Yeah, love him though.
So Rory Scoville just called me and he said,
I want to do one. And I looked at all the stuff
that he was doing and I said, are you sure?
And then he
second guessed the whole thing and he's super busy
and he said, you're right. I can't do it right now.
I don't have one.
Because I'm overwhelmed with all this other shit.
And then another good example is John Reep
just called me. And he wants to do one.
I love him. And he had one with
Sideshow Network. But then he
he fucking, I said, look, Reep
you're going to be like all these other guys and you're going to think you want to do it.
But then you're not going to do it.
So why don't you just bank five
and see if you can get those out of the way and then we'll talk.
Wow. And it puts me in a
horrible fucking position. I hate it.
But at the upside of all this
is the poker show. We shot a cooking show
with Bert Kreischer and Thompson Girl
called Something's Burning.
It's fucking hilarious. Of course. Two fucking heavyweights
too. Bert is disgusting.
He's like fucking wiping his nose constantly
and making the recipe. It was fucking
gross. So that's going to be
fun to watch. And we're just going to try to make
shows. And like, you know
and hopefully like there's so many people that aren't
working. I think Chris Fairbanks
Michael Costa, Che Larson
like there's all these great comics
that aren't working in television.
Does Costa have one?
Costa has a podcast called Worst Birthday.
It's very, very funny. I love him.
But Costa needs a TV show.
So what all things comedy is going to do
is we're going to make TV shows
with all these guys that
the whole thing was started because
we shouldn't have anyone telling us
when it's our time.
Like, you know what I'm saying.
And we can go out directly to the people
with, you know,
and ask you a question, something I'm going through right now.
You've booked pilots before, right?
Yes. I booked one for ABC and
I check on my phone deadline every day
to see if there's any rumors.
Primetime pilot panic.
Did you do that or no?
I try not to.
It's so hard not to. When it gets close to May
you got to look every day.
Yeah, good. Because
every other day I'll just kind of peek, I'll google it
just to see if there's any rumors or whatever.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Because what we just got
and we got a one in ten chance
of winning the lotto.
And that's what happened.
That's what it is.
Is that the stat, though, one in ten?
Pretty much.
There's eight comedy pilots that got made
and they're going to pick two up and so yours could be one of those.
And so, which one are you?
Something doesn't have a chance!
What's the ABC? Which one is it?
It's with me, Oliver Hudson.
Yeah, Oliver Hudson.
Me, Oliver Hudson, Jenna Fisher.
It's a family comedy.
Yeah, we can get your hopes up about that one.
That's funny, John.
Kristen taught me my wife who's half Korean.
Love your fucking wife, Ted.
She has taught me. I go in auditions and I leave it.
I hope I get it.
But then I just,
it's just dead.
But I always feel like you generally always book it.
No. I go in so many auditions
that I don't book anything.
There's a ton of rejection.
Because whenever I look at you,
I go, here's a guy that just
every time he goes in, he gets something.
We've both been in a lot of shows.
I've been on ten pilots.
This show that I have coming out is my tenth pilot.
Wow. Wow.
Plus Daily Show, which was in between.
Ten pilots, four to get picked up.
One to go two seasons.
I've done seven.
One got picked up.
That's not a fucking fuck it.
That's not a fucking fuck it.
But that kept you out of pilot seasons.
So that's what I'm saying.
Making what? Shit every week?
This is what I bought.
This thing.
This is like the fucking thing of what I did.
Cats.
Nightmare.
I met you.
I can tell you when I first,
I can tell you when I
usually first remember seeing you for the first time.
Where we had our first conversation.
Can you tell me when that was?
I came down in 2003.
Do you remember the place?
Was it back of the comedy story?
No.
Dublin's?
Go say it.
I met you the first time I ever talked to you in my mind.
Was at the parking lot
at the Hollywood Center Studios.
For what?
That is totally true.
You nailed it.
You were sad because your show
didn't get picked up or something?
I was coming to clear out my stuff.
What happened?
Matt TV shot there.
Bobby, this is totally the case.
I didn't even know.
I was like, hey, you give me a huge hug.
Did I really?
Thank you for saying that.
Toots his own horn.
This is why I do my own horn.
Thank you.
It's part of the thing.
I like to talk about me.
And he just said that.
I want you guys to look at me in the eyes.
No, no.
Lock eyes with me.
Behold.
Behold.
Behold, baby.
Beholding.
You get a big knowledge break.
I just want to throw that out there.
Because you guys treat me like I'm a tyrant.
And I got all the power.
I'm a dream waver.
and you know what he did to me for me after I hugged you him in San Francisco
tell him what you did for me what the Mitchell Brothers oh yeah I took on the
Mitchell Brothers Mitchell Brothers Theater so in San Francisco
no no it's fine yeah so let me back up this is let me explain how sad the
moment was yeah so when I went to Hollywood so I got down here I was a
San Francisco comedian I was working for my parents family business firing people
I was miserable I cried in my office I knew I needed to do stand-up so I did
stand-up it sort of took off I got cast in a show and I moved my whole family
down the show got picked up so I moved my wife and my son a one-year-old moved
him down we're supposed to get 12 episodes I moved into a house that was
way too expensive and my wife told me not to rent the house was 3200 bucks a
month in 2003 yeah and moved in and then I bought a car for cash and the show got
canceled cut its episode order and Bobby caught me pulling the parking spot
reserve for Al Madrigal sign and I was bummed out look up but I don't forget
were you driving like a black like a Ferrari it was a GTI or it could have
been something like that so yeah I I saw you in that moment and then we did I've
probably not too long after that like 2005 2006 we went back up and did a
benefit it was TIG you it was Ian Edwards Ian Edwards Jonathan Colton who is
like just a very famous now it's like super famous singer you know like he does
the he's a lot of songs and albums on this huge following and so we had put on
this great show but then afterwards guess what I do do me a favor take my
buddy over to Mitchell Brothers now the Mitchell Brothers got a pass from the
city of San Francisco and the police department so those were the first two
guys to make porn so they made behind the green door they made all this and
this was a six sixty dollar cover 60 dollar cover to get in but they have
like San Francisco has so many other problems that they just sort of give
their strip clubs a pass yeah and so so there's this gigantic Russian lady yeah
but the face of Ivan Drago with me and she and we just never saw yeah I was
married with my brother yeah yeah your brother and I was just in there and
this lady picked me up on my neck fuck me like I was a pocket pussy and then and
then I left and I just locked eyes without I go that what a brother
he doesn't have to be there right because he's got a kids and a wife and
no but you're responsible would you bring you sort of you as a guide you
know and as a host responsible yeah you don't know yeah he didn't show me with
a bridge he didn't show me or the other landmarks yeah exactly and then um but
you're also friends with very good friends with Freddy Soto yes and like
was Freddy Soto and Joe Rogan sponsored me to get passed at the store so I was
like and Freddy I went on tour with and yeah there's two let me say something
about him people don't know who he is not crazy it's crazy this dude was a
fucking beast he was in line so there's like George Lopez and he Freddy had he
lived he passed away and what in 2010 maybe a little yeah nine 2009 maybe he
was gonna have his own show yeah he was gonna be the next sort of big Latino
he had a heart attack I guess he just slept the wrong way but he's obese or
party animal or combo you know other ways he was a party animal when they
looked at the autopsy or his heart failure yeah yeah I remember where I was
man and you know Freddy and I we went to Hawaii together two months before he
passed we we did the Maui film festival we did stand up yeah and but before
that Freddy and I hadn't talked in like six years you had a thing we know we
both just didn't I mean I've liked him fine he just had problems with me you
know and a lot of the problem stems from in retrospect I came him from came up
from San Diego I had no money and it's hard to survive like I didn't have a
family I had no connections so I have a bit of a I'm an opportunistic guy when
it comes to when it when it comes to me in a desperate situation I'll do things
to get get myself in a better situation you know so you know in just
retrospect I could have handled things differently but he didn't really we were
friends and then we weren't who's the dad thing that has a lot to do with it I
mean he I did my dad on stage he did his dad his dad was everybody does their
dad right like it's like so but he's saying that I stole his essence and
what you know how some kind of yeah that's insane but you know what at the
end of the day though you know regardless no which is something that you know
he was I would sneak in the room even though I know that we weren't getting
along and I would watch him because this dude was legitimately extremely talented
I think you can find it on YouTube look at Freddy Soto just yet SOTO and it you
can I think you might be able to find his half hour Comedy Central special yeah
and he's just great so he does his father and he's just fantastic so I was his
sort of opener and so was Sebastian and he would bring us all around and as easy
did to run as easy when I'm looking for him a lot yeah yeah he but he he was a
guy who thrashed hotel rooms you know speaking to strip clubs and we went out
in Texas and just went out till all hours of the night yeah and that Addison
improv oh yeah I was just there like five months ago what's that place is it
Jumbo's the place you love Jumbo's clown room that's here that's here no the one
you you love in Houston that you go Pantera one treasure oh is it treasures
there's treasures in Vegas to the men's club I used to go to baby dolls in Dallas
though that one oh it was another one in Houston you love no we want in we
walked in baby dolls in Dallas and Freddy knew the bartenders there are
these chicks and I just knew we were in trouble like we were bad Freddy had this
guy hanging out with him because I guess one time like people are threatened by
comedians when they're with especially maybe it's just a Latino thing I'm not
sure but Freddy said somebody slapped him across the face yeah so you're making
my girlfriend laugh bro yeah and so the next time we came back he had this dude
with him I think his name was the captain yeah just got it just got out of
jail yeah and was crazy looking so all of us I'm rolling around this guy shaved
head tattoos you know well before that was a thing and just we're out in all
every strip club I go over to the room the mattresses on the other side of the
room yeah yeah really went for it in a major way like I did when I relapsed you
know if I had real because he was sober for a while but if we were using at the
same time I think they would just find both of our bodies in the hotel room I
went into Jumbo's clown room with him yeah this one here yeah and we went in
there and he ran into this guy named Julian and he went to him yeah perfect
and I looked at him and I go hey you got five minutes and we're getting out of
here yeah yeah yeah and I quit fucking around I'm watching you like a don't
don't fuck with me yeah I pulled him out there he sent me this lovely email
afterwards that I think I can still pull up because I still have his old account
but just and he's writing it at two o'clock in the morning just want you
to know that no one ever says talk to me like that like I was like hey I talked
to him like he was one of my kids like now yeah let's go but that's what I feel
like you have that presence even you know at the comedy store I think that
you I think people you just were born you're a born fucking leader I think well
it's just are you a born leader look at me right now are you a born
leader yeah yeah you are like you're a leader so now I've always been yeah
this was jumbo's back then too and it was still grime here because now it's like
the fancy spot to go to for Angelina Cheetahs and oh the Cheetahs over here
is no good anymore all the girls are dead in the eyes and they don't even it's
not fully new the Silver Lake one or it's not even top right here right on
um yeah the Silver Lake yeah yeah oh it's it's no good anymore just pointed in
such I don't know why she knows about it I don't know why she does because I
everyone goes everyone goes to strip my entire cast from this new TV show we
went out for a party and then we went to the magic castle this is what I love the
people I'm currently working on with you know how you sort of like your buddies
with Oliver Hudson now you guys hang out like you do stuff I mean we we did a
pilot I feel like when we if it gets picked up we will make the show yeah I
heard you don't you don't you don't exchange numbers on a pilot nobody
there is because you meet me never I did one with Matthew Lillard and he's a
cool dude but I was just like only when we get a pick up because what do you
there's nothing now because now the relationship is based on a lie or
something a failure I mean yeah something that didn't work out and you're
always reminded about that failure yeah that's why when I see Betsy Sadaro from
animal practice or Justin Kirk or Tyler Labine I hugged them and I love them a
lot but we failed is that why Ed Azzner hates you so much yeah Ed Azzner hates
me really yeah because I did a pilot with him and it failed and now he all
like when he sees me just goes apeshit yeah so um but let's talk about the show
now yeah I was too tired and with cheetahs we all went to magic castle the
two guy one guy and his dad almost got in a fight at magic castle and then we
have you been up to that place the magic has yours he doesn't believe someone
just died there they were ambulances there the other night when I was driving
on the store you hate magic I don't I don't I don't hang out with them I don't
want to be around them comedy magic club
juices in general get the fuck out of my face sorcery it's black magic this is
it's from the netherworld another world it's from another world and it is it's
against the Bible let's be right why the way my favorite bill birth thing is he
hates fantasy so he doesn't know the difference between Harry Potter and Lord
of the Rings why does he hate fantasy yeah I don't like it a fucking shit
fucking wizard shit fucking you know controls yeah I have the same a version
to you don't like it magic oh yeah magic yeah no I really I was really drunk
but I saw a show that I thought was just fantastic there is yeah anyway so then we
went over to cheetahs and at this point they to one of the kids from our show
it's just brought just stacks of ones and he managed to be up on stage and then
somebody took a picture of me just at the end of the bar
man oh man just can't do you can't can't do it at all can't yeah because I've
been to your house I've had you guys made me dinner one night yeah remember
that old house we got the old house yeah the kids yes sitting there going this
is I've never met a comedian like this before we played basketball yeah wholesome
whole what leader this is what the leaders do you know Brian Jarvis
introduced me to you know I love him Brian Jarvis introduced me to my wife he
did yeah he's such a great guy so funny yeah can I tell you about Brian Jarvis
yeah he's sober now but yeah he's sky it was the worst drug addict yes they
were looking for crack yeah like his he would cry powder yeah yeah just cry
just dry powder would come out of his eyes I mean that's how did you ever do
drugs with him no oh my god I'm the one I never did this is what I know you got
to get sober he goes all right well then he was working at the restaurant the
101 restaurant yep because I picked me up tomorrow right I'm literally driving
down the street Brian jumps out of the car what the you're driving him to an
A meeting he jumps out of the car rolls and just booking it up the street for
the bit or you know I didn't see him for another couple weeks then again he goes
okay this time I'll try again so now we're in a meeting right and I turn on
he's just gone he's just left but eventually he's doing so good right now
killing it Steven Spielberg likes one of his movies he's writing his ass off he
moved his family up to oh hi he's got kid number two on the way oh hi yeah but
anyway when he was drinking I saw him like he had a it was counting I counted
he had 30 gin and tonics oh my and then I went to go take a nap and this is
when we're in San Francisco and there's a knock on the window and just nuts and
balls they just pressed up against the window yeah what about me
but can I tell you what Brian what were we him and I I feel bad about this but
so he gets sober right and you helped him do that yeah yeah I did but I don't
talk about it he would love everyone to know guys behold beholding beholding so
he goes hey man let me feature for you yeah but you know here's the thing with
some comics guys like Brian are so intrinsically and naturally funny the
funniest person you've ever met on your life didn't work on stage it didn't work
at all I'll say it I've said it everybody knows it well he knows it yeah
yeah so the show with Duncan yes oh I've seen that I love that one yeah buddy
and Andy you search for buddy and Andy and he it's a butcher hanging out with a
piece of meat well before any cartoon like that just yeah and so we're in
Sacramento and I go you can do 30 right so I was tired because I had to do
press or whatever and I'm in the green room I hear the host go up and I'm
laying on the couch there and I went to a nap Ryan so just do 30 have fun and
then you know I'll go up so I hear them bring him his name up Brian Jarvis he
leaves the green room and I close my eyes for about two minutes and I open
them and he's above me and I go was that 30 minutes because two oh I did two
minutes I go what the fuck happened they didn't like me so you left the state
walked off because yeah is the host on I couldn't find him the host went out to
have a cigarette I walk into the showroom a packed room by the way right
no one's on stage and then I run up on stage right and I try to do what I said
and then I come backstage but you're not exactly setting the world on fire in
terms of like doing an hour and a half either no I was struggling at the time
to to even do 30 minutes because I had this is after mad TV or during the 12
tether toward the end they're making me headline or whatever so I get back there
and he's sitting on the couch crying Brian what's what's matter they fired me I
guess he had called and they were sending two comics from San Francisco for
the next four shows the next night's to fill his place and so I called whoever
I mean I love the Booker but I called her and I said can he do five minute
guest spots to know like you can't even do five minute guest spots nope and I
begged so he was able to do you know the five minutes yeah but he couldn't barely
even do that he had that fucking I know every show he would do two minutes three
minutes I was like I can't believe he thought he could do 30 it's like you
have to vet these guys I vet them now yeah we did sketches together when I
first met him I did ladies and gentlemen I'm very happy to introduce it's amazing
to have me here he's the first first ever gay white retarded rapper
he come on and in a jumpsuit yeah yeah I know you I suck your dick retarded
but now he's changed his life he's got like 15 years sober or something yeah
he's writing he's him and his writing partner Jim or just killing it they
write for the Farley brothers and they moved his family to Ohio he's got a
kid Louie that looks just like oh that's great well he's not the best but he
introduced me and my wife so me and my wife half Korean Kristen Madrigal yeah
he's the best you see you were saying earlier that you were having some
mother-in-law issues yeah Korean mother a lot of go along with it and so I had no
idea what that was gonna be like and the best right it is one of the craziest
fucking days this Korean mother-in-law I got if anyone has any tips please write
me like I figured it out I think I figured it out so I didn't know the
first dinner that we had we go to brothers Korean restaurant it's on
Geary in six and Geary in San Francisco is a big it's probably San Francisco's
best Korean restaurant at the time and she looks at a waitress and she goes
this is a shrimp dish you call this shrimp you take it back right now and
put some shrimp in it so I guess my mother somebody told me this and I
didn't even know this word existed but they said my mother-in-law has way too
much Han so she is fired up and she's 50 years of oppression by the
Japanese yeah so she goes I'm basically got in a big fight with me so she went
to our new house and went in I was dumb about this and she bought maybe 10 boxes
of Kleenex and she walked around every room and she put a box of Kleenex down
every fucking room so I walk into my kitchen I go hey what the fuck is with
it call the Kleenex yeah and I just took a box of Kleenex yeah I just tucked it
away like put it just it doesn't need to be out so Todd Glass has that great
bit about you think you live in a nice house is your dish soap out because you
look at architectural digest they don't have dish soap so I just like you know
we live in this nice house and I I got Kleenex out I just tuck it away it's
right there it's accessible all you do is open a little thing boom you got all
the Kleenex you want right didn't talk to me for a year
no shit yeah the first time I thought I could fuck with her she knows what I do
and then her Kristen's brother Lee I think you meant is still living in
San Francisco he's single at the time and I go hey you know why Lee lives in
San Francisco right he doesn't have a girlfriend I'm gonna put it together you
know he's super gay yeah yeah and he's not but he has a girlfriend he's actually
engaged and he's got a baby on the way and he was never gay but I just messed
with her and she'd laugh and I then I was oh I'm okay to just joke around with
her right so then we got Korean food this all happened in the course of a
weekend she didn't talk to me when did this okay so this is the next thing what
happened how when was that Kleenex is most more recent thing before that was
maybe in 2013 okay 2012 so she comes over we go to HK Super over in Glendale
which is Korean sort of deli and you can get all the bulgogi and all that stuff
and so you get it all and you cook it and all the pork and everything cook it up
so she made rice and we got all the sides and everything and then she goes how
do you like the bulgogi and I go this bulgogi is the best I've ever tasted is
really the best so she wide-eyed because she makes it her own and I knew what I
was just messing with her a little bit yeah and I go it's really the best I've
ever tasted this yeah I know a total dick move and then we're driving I drive her
to a hotel because our house is packed like there's a family event that's why
they're there and I take her over to Old Town Pasadena she goes I want to go
shopping and I know exactly what you want she wants to go to K-town yeah but I
go oh it's a good thing you want to go shopping because there's all the shopping
right here Old Town Pasadena they just walked up they got everything they got
your pottery barns and your crates and barrels there's a gap yeah all this
shopping you need yeah and she goes Al you know what I mean want to go I'd never
have done this in my act yeah cuz I can't maybe you can help I can never
talk about that's dead on the Korean so she goes I want to go to Korea town and
I go well I said you know about that go Kristen doesn't want to take you to
Korea town because Kristen doesn't really like Koreans
a half Korean that's where you fucked up so my brother-in-law is in the front
steeped hunched over laughing yeah I'm doing straight face and she's just in
the back so then my father-in-law is laughing like everybody thinks it's
funny yeah and I go I'm kidding she'll take you whenever you want you know
that just storms out of car and then she was actually mad at you about that oh
wait there's one more okay this all happened in the course of like a day
okay so these three bits and then we're in my kitchen and she goes I go what are
you gonna move she lives in Vegas in this neighborhood that she shouldn't be
living anymore and I go when are you gonna move out of the neighborhood okay
you got to move to a better neighbor and she goes what's wrong with the
neighborhood I go well there's a lot of Mexicans and we all know how you feel
about Mexicans and then she turns to Christian she goes what did you tell
him it was real yeah real but I've done so much and then I realized and she
didn't talk to me for two years yeah and do you ever like tell yeah I try
calling her and I apologize and I go you know I'm just kidding I'm a comedian I
just joke around how much I love you you're my only mother-in-law you're the
best yeah then I bought her a Macy's like I bought her Macy's outfit I sent her to
Korea all expenses paid back in that's you you're back in yeah that was a major
way yeah oh but then Kleenex happened after that so I was back out after
Kleenex and now fuck it then yeah no she can't be pleased no here's my my
advice and it and it not you would know so stay with your wife but yeah I'm done
yeah no Kristen says a little time I mean it's tricky yeah because Kalala's mom I
love yeah cuz she's Filipino yeah yeah Maritis is so funny she's Maritis yeah
yeah I love your show now yeah I got a show coming out here's why I love the
show we just saw the trailer before we started this and it's about the comedy
store where I started Mike stand up and it's it's about the comedy store in the
70s when Mitzi ran it yeah 1973 1973 and what's great about the show is they're
using real comedians yeah Al's in it Andrew Santina the fat black gay guy
what's his name Eric Griffin you have a thing with Eric Eric loves you he's one
of my best friends okay he calls me he calls him the fat black hope okay and
Dom is in it a rara yeah as what he plays fitzy was who's fitzy that's sort
of drunk old comic that's his mom isn't it yeah yeah Dom is in it and Earl
Skakel is in it oh what does he play he just his character his character is
named Al Sims and he is sort of a drunk as well who gets propped up he's like an
open miker and then who else got in there Jaron got in a little bit and but
but the characters are our prototypes yeah yeah we did types so who is Andrew
Santino sort of like a Bill Hicks type a social commentary yeah okay angry Eric
Eric no real type I don't think there's nobody Eric's really modeled after he's
a war vet though yeah it's like he's a Vietnam War vet yeah okay your Freddie
Prince little Freddie Prince a little Cheech a little Carlos Mancia in there
right you see wine episode 3 wow cool and then on what and then who else is
what does Clark Duke and Michael and Geronimo play two new Boston comics so
basically there's veterans there's established vets that's Ari Grainer
plays more of like a new ish but as your comic she just gets the main room and
then you have Andrew Santino Clark oh you know who's hilarious who steals
every single scene that he's in is John Dailey oh John Dailey is so funny John
Dailey is the best character you know who he is he's sort of like a Tommy
fucking wow yes it's just daily is very funny John Dailey is a reason enough
and alone to watch this show through the entire season he's incredible in the
whole thing every single table table read I can't wait to watch this guy then
we have a young Eddie Murphy type who's coming in the scene that's RJ Silor who's
a power ranger yeah do you ever see that me Earl on the dying girl yeah yeah
Earl he's so that kid is the most charming dude ever and they said Clark
Duke and Michael and Geronimo two Boston comics that come how much involved is Jim
Kerry he would come in early in the writers room and sat there and told us
all stories and had some great stories we're modeling after Clark and Michael's
character it's Ron and Eddie come and live in a closet at John Dailey's house
and that is all from Jim Carrey wow yeah he slept in a closet the Jim Carrey
yeah yeah I love hearing Jim Carrey stories back in the comic he used to
his great stories about they would all lock themselves in the main room and do
acid yeah yeah and the comedy stories you talked about it being haunted for a
long time because they used to be seros and so when we used to go into that
belly room green room and I think they sort of blocked it all off now yeah
trying to fix it up but there used to be a hole where they used to spy on and
there it's a sniper hole well I don't think you can shoot guys yeah because
that pillar that pillar when you look through it that pillar beam wasn't there
that was added on later yeah apparently without that beam you can see the whole
floor and the curtains yeah and then people were sniping from that's what I
was told I think they pointed people out maybe yeah yeah whole thing because they
would just grab another Jim Carrey story was like one time in the main room
there used to be this gigantic grand piano and he was up early apparently and
he bombed so then he went into the grand piano and closed the thing and he
stayed in there for like seven hours and he would pop it open every once
well and the audience would laugh and he would be in there the whole fucking
time yeah he also said that he went on stage one night and just insisted on
walking the entire room like stayed up eight every eight into every single
comedians time just took everyone's spot went up and just stayed on until two
o'clock in the morning so he went up in like a nine o'clock 9 30 spot and stayed
on till two oh my god fucking fuck everybody and just cuz he didn't care
and he was in a dark space and just and wow walk to everybody in the entire room
except for like three people that gave him a standing ovation at the end what's
great about the comedy store and a lot of industry people don't like the store
because there is an element of lawlessness there used to be remember
when you first started they did now there's a great Brian Holtzman story
about when he Martin Lawrence's crowd came in we had that showcase yeah so
Brian Holtzman if you ever see him the name Brian Holtzman on a lineup at the
comedy store and you come to Los Angeles I want you to even if you are out and
you see that name and you go in towards the end and just watch you sort of got
to be there the whole evening to appreciate it yeah you got it we asked
he said yeah he didn't oh he'll do it no I'm gonna get him I can help with that
please because he is he is so original and he's a fucked up person but he's so
fucking funny I tried to get him for I'm dying up here and he called me after
the audition I fucked up I really fucked up but you know I shouldn't be
doing this you know yeah you know when you know you did good yeah I didn't do
good oh yeah but so what about Brian Martin Lawrence oh Brian so here's
Brian Holtzman has his big chance to get like an agent or something like that
really is gonna get him some you know the recognition because I think Damon
Wayne saw him and put him on my wife and kids like they saw him like certain
comics see him and try to put him in things and Damon Wayans had the power
to just put him in the show I didn't have enough power to just get him the
I'm dying up here thing but I got him the audition and that happened I put him
in a sketch that I did I used to work for comedy.com in like 2006 and I did a
sketch I got to find this it's called Brian Holtzman is trapped in the
internet and he goes whoa smells like an Indian kids dick in here. He's flying through the internet.
We've got to visualize what he looks like he is a gigantic fat 60 55 he looks like a
American the dad an American dad almost like you know like he looks like he's
got a flat top and he's an airline mechanic yeah a little bit older but
he wears like members only jackets but not ironically or in a hipster way like
that's the only jacket he's ever on pleated dockers right just zipped up he
brought he walked in the other night and he had a big bag of McDonald's
cheeseburgers and just dumped him out he goes here you go everybody cheeseburgers
yeah I'm me doesn't he work for the city like as a well he worked as an
airline mechanic yeah I know but the last time he was telling us that he did
like parking citation or something to that effect oh he might have got I think
he was his time as an airline mechanic came to an end we did a gig in Tucson and
he goes I'm gonna drive right so I get in his car and we're in the middle of the
desert it just conks out this car we have no money we walked five miles to the
nearest town and his brother wired him money to get a hotel room next thing I
know we missed the gig we're in this shitty hotel room two beds and I'm
sleeping and I turn around and he's not sleeping he doesn't get under the
cover he's on top of the sheets he has his shoes on what he was wearing and he's
just leaning to his side and he's just staring at me it was fucking because
you know he's the kind of guy that get out of the room gook like he has said
things and don't things right that like makes it like you know and at the time
I didn't know him that well and I was really scared of whoa but I think he is
so important he's very funny he speaks to the lawlessness that we were sort of
talking about why industry people don't like the comic store so one night he has
this audition for a big agent and Martin Lawrence's people came in and they were
being disruptive and apparently as legend goes like you asked him about this
when he's on the show but he said fuck it and just jumped in the crowd and
started fighting him yeah no he fights his bodyguard I apparently he jumped on
top of Martin Lawrence's bodyguard yeah he said some racial things too this is
what I heard mm-hmm I don't want to say it now yeah and he says beating the shit
I mean it was a scuffle yeah yeah whoa so he's that dude like I saw him in
La Jolla once and he was they would headline him
headline him in La Jolla crazy and a lady goes you're terrible she was eating
it she turns around and he kicks her in the back right and goes get out of your
heart you know and and then it's chaos he does this thing with movies you say
the movies now all these movies yeah they got the finding Dory
don't know what he's saying on there it's a treat he hands out buttons
afterwards I brought everybody from the I'm dying up here the actors and I they
kept coming we should go we should go I go no please stay please stay and they
saw one of the best Brian sets of all time because then all the comics that
are still there go he's on he's on he's on they go in that's the thing about him
is is that if you're in the building and Brian's about to go up people just
wander into the room because you don't know what's gonna happen is it sometimes
he's extremely funny like he somehow his improv's and the way he's thinking he's
connected with the audience and everything he's saying he's killing but you
also want it not to go well because when it doesn't go well he lashes out he
likes screams you know yeah crazy this is my life yeah yeah yeah I mean he
really is something but he goes up at one in the morning you're never you're
probably sleeping right then yeah yeah yeah it's worth it it's worth it and so
there were there used to be I mean when we were also first there because you and
I have gone in you more than me waves of this thing like Le Boca and all those
bad comics and then you know even like Johnny's app hanging around and all these
so the comedy store had so many different bookers and now when they have
Tommy and then in way more Adam Eggett who's just done such a good job yeah he
revolutionized and changed the whole thing and people think it's because of
podcasts and all this other popularity but I really think it's because Adam it's
100% Adam I tell him that every day yeah it's gonna do his head but um that
place used to be so scummy on a weekend you would look at the lineup and go I'm
following Raul who's Raul yeah and you can walk up to Raul on a Saturday night
and it's Mitzi's Gardener and it's not even a joke like she would put up people
toward the end that had never even done stand up what was the purpose and this
she just would go he's he's got a unique look that's it yeah he's he looks like
you know the apocalyptic Mexican right and so she put put him up like people
that they were open micers but they had a fat lady but with a mustache she goes
that's a hook right you that's something that's gonna make it and she
wouldn't that's why when Louis CK you I mean auditioned for her he didn't have
a thing he did one minute and she wasn't even listening she goes lying him he
doesn't have it oh wow and we turned her and goes he's had two HBO specials like
she was so disconnected mm-hmm George Lopez auditioned for Mitzi halfway
doing a set he snapped hey bitch listen to me bitch keep all the way down here you
know I mean like people have showcased in front of her and snapped my showcase
which I got sponsored by Freddie Soto and Joe Rogan I went up and right when I
walked on stage who could waltz in Ahmed Ahmed just talks to Mitzi the entire
time my three minutes kissing her hand and shit yeah and then
fucking didn't get past yeah and then she saw me in the main room do a
benefit and then pick me up and pass me right away
yeah and walk into have you ever been to her house no the walls are all black
like the comedy store it was like walking into like a nightmare a pure
nightmare and then there's a pink room where she's at I used to watch Ahmed
there with Orioles massaging her feet like you know I mean what's up I'm
mad he said what's up dude yeah yeah it'd be like okay bye you do that a
little bit in the show not the massaging the feet thing but that's good to know
yeah we have one of the comics go up there too and hang out the house yeah
people used to do that well I heard crazy stories about speaking to hang out
the house like who's a cat Williams what would had he was hanging out the store
and then gave one of the guys it was so excited to get a job remember it was
Dante or no tell me the story because I have a cat Williams on so this one this
black eye comic who didn't have anything really going on he goes I walk up and
get I go what's going on here's a big smile on his face he goes cat Williams
just gave me a writing gig and I go oh that's sweet yeah nice song I'm like how
was that cat Williams a writing gig going he goes man I walked up there yeah
went to his house watch it in the fucking dining room there's 20 motherfuckers
with laptops yeah yeah no he's writing he picks people to write jokes for him
like 20 people like a switch off scripts yeah all kinds of stuff guys not doing
anything and just taking money that's why cat like he's just had so many people
on his payroll oh wow that Sebastian went up on stage you hear this story now
he had a great set he gets off and this older very skinny African-American lady
who doesn't really bolt she had never seen her before she gets here and he gave
Sebastian she gave Sebastian $500 this is from cat you're funny wow hands it out
cat doesn't give it to him some lady so he told us later to give Sebastian $500
just because he had a good set wow that's he wasn't taking the jokes or
anything I don't know I don't think so no Sebastian's hard to steal from I mean
cat Williams I listened to in the car when you have that serious so you can
listen to all the jokes and they're all fun he's hilarious funny guy naturally
yeah yeah yeah what we doing time wise we're over an hour did you guys want to
talk about that United Airlines oh let's do that so can you explain to me
because I just saw the footage as I was leaving the house I'll give you a quick
synopsis so you know I just be I don't want you to do a bit but I just want to
say before that what you're about to say infuriates me okay I'm just it's just a
synopsis I know but the synopsis is not what I did I know you didn't do it but it
infuriates me go ahead okay quick synopsis flight from Chicago to Louisville
Kentucky the flight a United flight is overbooked they've been doing that they
which they always do in case there's missed connections or people that missed
their flights they want to account for those they don't want the seats empty
because they want their money so you know most of the time they always they
overbook so they ask for people everyone had boarded the plane they ask United
employees walk in and say hey we need four people to disembark because we have
four united employees that need to get to Kentucky so three out of the four
people acquiescence no that's not sorry backtrack no one wanted to give up their
seat no I wouldn't either yeah yeah but then this is when they say okay well we'll
give you you know $800 voucher yeah 200 extra dollar voucher or we'll give you
400 and the price keeps going up and up and up I don't know what was arranged or
what was decided on but three out of the we got to eat no no no they still still
nobody wanted to go I know but I'm just saying the money got to only 800 that's
what that's what they said yes I read it $800 and he stopped it at there okay so
they said $800 and everyone some no one wanted to get off the plane still so
they said okay well we just have we're gonna randomly select four people which
is weird so they did that and three out of the four left the plane and the last
guy that they chose which is an Asian man who claims to be a doctor he is a doctor
he is yes he's like no I'm not gonna get off the plane I paid full price somebody
else at random yeah yeah and they and they said no you're the guy yeah and he
didn't want to get off so they called law enforcement and then law enforcement
basically dragged his body out of there spaces his face was busted open his face
smashed people in the armrest everyone's screaming on the plane because this man is
yeah leave him alone like I it and you know I would have done if I was on that
flight what I would have been up like I would I you know I wish I would meet you
I would have stopped I go up to but I would be I mean you have let those are
cool cops I don't give a shit like I would I know but now you're not in the
situation I swear to you on my children's life if I see a man being dragged
off against his will yeah I'm not gonna fight a cop but I'm gonna stop him from
fucking dragging him off the plane and I'll get dragged off too I swear to God
like I would never let I saw the guy being dragged I wish I wish I could see
the same he would be playing the jewel oh my god yeah I don't know what I would
be sitting there I wouldn't do it but be infuriated this happens to you though
yeah I would die he would die because you don't know what I'm like at even just
the security check he hates TSA agents he fights them yeah I finally got him the
global past because it was I was losing my even then all right I'm going through
the thing right there is no reason why you have to ask me where you headed off
to fuck you never I've never done any listen I'm with TSA I love you you're
human beings we're at equal level okay but let me say something right now
we're gonna say something no one wouldn't know when that looks like me is
ever done nothing but I almost I got kicked off a flight because I go to so
the lady didn't wasn't helping me it was like a situation where there was a line
and then she picked somebody over me at so we're in the flight about to board at
one of the desks you know and then she goes she picks me above I go hey what
just happened why didn't you pick me she goes sir you need to calm down I go you
just I'm in line here and you just pick somebody that was behind me to come
forward what do you mean I'm in the line and then a supervisor walks up and she
goes what's going on here sir black lady and I go what's happening is this is
what happens when you're flying while you're brown and this is discrimination
she goes how is he she discriminated you against you when you're white and I go
what did you say how dare you call me white yeah yeah yeah where are you
standing up I got I always get pulled out when I do random screenings I get
pulled out me too and I got pulled out by black security I go flying while brown
huh guys and they go what did you just say the same shit yeah baby I do the
same as he does I go I guess it's tough flying well I go this is what happens
it's okay for you guys to discriminate against brown people while flying huh
because I didn't see you pull anybody else out and I go how you just doing this
at random and they're like these black two black guys were just laughing to go
do you you just called us racist yeah damn right I did I get into it I mix it
up here's a no yeah first-class ticket dude right I went to the bathroom right
I'm in the bathroom I grab my stuff I'm walking toward the gate and I could see
that there was already first class had just you know me and then they're gonna
call the next yeah zone number one or whatever it was so I run up and I
hand her the thing she doesn't even look at she goes it's not your turn yet
right now at that point I could have said look at the ticket take a look but
it didn't would you do I waited till the very end he loves the spectacle I love
the spectacle so all four zones already that's a much better for zones already
when on the fucking plane and I'm the last guy walk up and I go to the lady I
go it's so weird because see my ticket it's first-class and how am I the last
person on the flight and she looks at she goes oh well you didn't tell me I
go you didn't read it right I screamed like that yeah and I just walked in and
doing it that way is so much more better it teaches him a lesson it teaches them
lessons about life lessons guys you guys want to know something interesting what
because my sister you know our names are basically Arabic right because of this
whole new since the Trump administration she was she came back from Europe and
she was stopped and heavily questioned simply for having a KHA as Calaela
Coinda and for that reason alone what they asked her her religion they asked
her all of that crazy yeah I mean she you know she works for the city and as a
prisoner so she just you know answers the questions but I'm in my head when
I'm hearing the story like just a heat coming out in my ears you know yeah I
just I just can't I just don't like authority I think so what would you have
done Bobby you would have just like let it go you wouldn't have stood up and say
hey what the fuck are you doing I think I would have said something everybody on
the flight must be going to leave him yeah they were they were they were and I
think because he was Asian I would have said something my question is that is
that racist if he was a old white guy any I would still say something I would
still say something but the level would be little he's got the most amazing law
sued on his hands yeah oh yeah my question is fuck out of them was there a
language barrier because my friend I texted my friend who works for Delta and
I was like hey dude like how high up are they supposed to go to offer people to
get off the plane and he was like look I've seen I've seen people get paid
$1,200 cash in hand cash and most we've never had this problem because most
people want that's well I would take $1,200 stop stop babe here that's what
that's the point okay I read an article they stopped at $800 but it wasn't even
cash it was like a voucher voucher right now this is how you do it $800 cash no
$1,200 no $1,500 hands would start the whole plane no incident no incident much
much cheaper for United now they're gonna probably have to pay a hell of a lot
more than that they may get they may lose millions for it from this look I got
my speaking which yeah look at this what is this United mileage plus I would cut
that in half right now my friend or at the end of our podcast we do an email
what's called unhelpful advice okay so he's gonna read an email
unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalilah and the boss of the boardroom hi tiger
belly my name is MJ I'm about to turn 25 and I am in the process of getting out
of a four-year cohabitating relationship I struggle with crippling self-doubt and
self-loathing it's one of the reasons why I stayed in this relationship for so
long I'm scared to go back to being alone and having to fend for myself but I
desperately need to try what is your advice about how I can get my groove
back how can I see the positive in the situation it's a guy or oh yes if you
ever have a I'm mixed-race Asian I grew up in a religious cult in Japan also I
met Bobby when I was 16 at a meeting in a religious cult what meeting he's
Japanese is it a guy or girl girl Mary normally just handle this because I
have some stuff right away that I always typically say to people in the
situation no you go first you go through the I really when you're severing a
relationship and you're gonna do something like what I find is most
helpful is pouring yourself into self-improvement I would go to the gym
every single day I would go and read as much as possible I would just really
try to hang out with as many friends I just really try to better yourself and
busy yourself is the most important thing you're not gonna wallow in it and
just lay around you know it's like a John Favreau and swingers laying around in
his apartment right buddies come and break them out you sort of got to do
that to yourself so I really think you need to be volunteer there's a I'm not
sure what city this person is in but I think you need to volunteer I think you
need to read and I think you need to work out and be social as much as
possible and she's only 25 oh you get your whole life ahead of you and oh my
god just for you to be locked into this four-year relationship living with
somebody that was even a bad call you're making the perfect choice by
severing it right now and just get out there and you're gonna be in great
you're young you don't think about this I wonder why all that self-doubt though
do you think that maybe you know you know being raised in a yeah maybe she's
susceptible her susceptibility to being to latch is hi yeah and she was also
this is probably the first big relationship post cult yeah so she
maybe identifies always with being around someone else not just being alone
cuz yeah but being alone is really fun I like it that's what I say and you know
you're cuz you're in such a family situation I'm around people at all
times we just had an incident at a Rubio's we went on saw beauty in the
beast and everybody's happy we had a great family moment it just goes away
immediately because I go to a Rubio's and I go hey what does everybody want my
daughter steps up and she goes I want a street taco and I want a chicken quesadilla
I got street taco chicken quesadilla I go what does everybody else want my son
goes I want one taco I think you're 15 years old yeah and then my wife she
goes I she's looking and I go do you want to get a taco plate I go does
anybody else my wife didn't say anything and then I go and she the lady goes
anything else and I go anything else anybody and then nobody said anything so
again then my wife goes you rush me I didn't get a chance to look at the menu
it's fucking Mexican food it's the same menu everywhere we go everywhere we go it's tacos burritos quesadillas
they're not fucking mixing it up I know sometimes the fuck is a problem just all
in that situation you say I'm sorry I'm sorry I was at fault I was at fault even
though she's completely at fault it's insane that's what we do I'm sorry really
is that what we do I'm just saying that just in this situation oh okay in this
situation yeah sorry she was at fault Jesus yeah yeah it's Mexican food I know
Rubios is great by the way when your son was he asked for only one taco because
of protest you when I don't know what then he is eating the second taco because
I got three yeah and my wife goes see you wanted two tacos and he goes I said I
wanted two tacos yeah you tell me you said fucking more than one yeah yeah and
my wife's like you're swearing and then with the worst part about it is I said
if fucking is what the fuck is wrong with our family I go we can't just look
at a Mexican menu and all figure out what we want and then I was saying this and
before I did swear on the rubios barely I was in it but one guy and that one guy
walks past me and he goes hey are you all magical and here I am with my family
going hey get your fucking shit together and then what'd you say yeah hey how are
you nice to see you hi but did that help the situation no not at all all you
know your kids should go oh yeah our dad's a celebrity yeah even in a rubios
you feel like you feel at your celebrity now no I don't I still feel like I'm the
new guy I feel the same way I do anyway thank you our boss our boss and the
leader anything you want to promote I've got my hour special coming out if Netflix
May 5th no showtime everything I mean showtime showtime also we didn't say the
name it's called I'm dying up here I'm dying up here June 4th and then I have a
special May 5th and they gave your big black gay friend they gave him a special
he has one comes out in June I don't want to plug it and cut cut that part
off he's not here and that's bullshit anyway he's got a special and he doesn't
Santino's got a special either disease all right has yours again May 5th and
that's the only one you should watch shrimp in an easy shrimp in an easy oh
but you know what I saw though right was the the introduction of it oh yeah it
looks so good the animation yeah it looks really crazy right yeah I'm sure
it's gonna be success and thank you so much for having me on your network oh my
god tell the board tell the board I'm appreciative we appreciate it and I'm
grateful tiger bellies I told you guys that we want to do more with I mean
we're looking forward to doing a lot of big things have you guys announced the
other thing but you know what dude at the end of the day we'll be fine nothing's
happening right now look at me right now never would be even if worse comes
and worse just look at me right now I love it look at me right now and let me
just say what I'm gonna say and just you could take it for what it is I don't
like all right but you can tell the board that we're grateful just listen
okay one loves you but I know that's fine all right but we'll be fine
we got it all right whatever that is you know me but I don't like your
threats I don't like I don't like what you're doing right now with like the
board and Bill Burr and Christcher and all those fucking guys all right you
don't fuck yourselves no you don't want us no I'm saying right now no we're
grateful and yet we'll be fine you're not good and you will make Bobby a board
member no I don't want to be no board member but and I just tell the board
this all right I respect them but I'm not afraid no everyone I'm not afraid of
you okay I know I'm not afraid no ever okay George when you came by it's a
very positive don't even don't even talk to him right now because he's doing his
fucking thing that corporate thing George no George let it go all right we're
gonna clean it we're gonna clean house right we're gonna clean house yeah thank
you thank you we'll be very back guys all right guys and we are back to do some
house cleaning George Kimmel let's see first thing to announce are we ready to
announce it yeah I mean if it's a hundred percent yeah live show on the
27th of this month what how are we gonna choosing people this time I haven't
decided but I'm gonna come up with my own process like I did the last time yeah
might involve a video this time we don't know it might but I also just um should
we start with the we want everyone who can come to be there it's just that we
can't accommodate for that we got a large of this one's a bigger room than
last time but it is still still yeah it's still a small intimate event as much
as we would love to have just a big place for everybody which is we're just
not there yet start the email submissions but is that what is that how
we'll put something out on Instagram with the directions probably about be a
question so how do we choose the people to come to the live show last time we
had them right in and and give us the reason why to choose them but how how
should we choose this time um just send me powdered dream water I guess so much
dream water I have no powdered dream water left wait we just got someone sent
you I already ate them all damn oh my god what lottery we'll put we'll come up
with something competition I don't know man we'll figure it out we'll put on our
Instagram or Twitter and within you'll probably when you're hearing this
podcast already be out so yeah I think that's probably a good idea let's say
for instance what do what is this part we're doing we're doing just housekeeping
you're not supposed to be a part of this but we would but this is at the end yeah
this is the end people listen to this yeah well usually when you leave we lose
half yeah yeah it's just okay how did you that was a fun podcast I thought it was
good yeah I like him a lot are we doing one next week a guest no next week I
do one without one next week guys we have no one yeah we've got it booked out
the next month cool we got a fancy Mexican does on today last week was a
fancy black all legit the cats too many fancies everyone's allergic to cats though
I know we're gonna figure that out too we're just gonna make like enough money
so we can get our own studio we are we're getting there we are getting there I
feel good about it okay so Bobby how do we choose the people should they write
one I feel uncomfortable I shouldn't be in here right now yeah that's why we do
why he leaves that's why yeah I can't do it right now I feel uncomfortable okay we'll
get you man all right um so yeah I mean you talk about now we can just figure it
out and we'll definitely put on Instagram and Twitter
I had was a have people a videotape their parents listening to tiger belly or
somebody who they know would hate if they don't have parents or do you ever
think about that no how insensitive of you look at Bryce trigger warning guys
trigger warning sorry to those people yeah yeah is there anything fun video we
can make I have people do like that's entertaining I don't want people to go
out of their way to do things that are unnatural for them what I know these
people we can't ask them to draw like not everyone's an artist we can't ask them
to dance not everyone wants to be on camera some of these people maybe three
different ways you know what you know you can either we want no more than 10
sentences on an email please because I just don't I have a little bit of ADD
and I just don't have the or leave it mental capacity I can't I'm sorry if
you're gonna if you if you choose to write an essay I probably won't get
through the whole essay I do love an occasional long letter but for this
particular purpose of choosing people I'd rather keep it to a brief no more
than 10 sentences tell us why a little bit about yourself and why you want to
come to the live show that's one option you can do that you can also submit do
that same thing which in the video form if you feel more comfortable you guys
did at the picnic submit your best impression of Bobby dancing at little
10-second clip oh yeah yeah so you can either so write 10 sentences or 10
seconds of you impersonating Bobby dancing what should we hashtag so we
find it well they don't they can submit it to us or they can post it on their
Instagram too your best chances honestly to get on the show is if you have an
Instagram page that we can look at that's not on private that's how at least I
chose people the last time is when I can match their email to a face in a name
and that that basically up their chances yeah so those are the two so you can
either dance like Bobby or write as a letter yeah if we have a third option
we'll announce that you know if you find me if you live in the LA area and you
find me you can come oh yeah that's right or if you flag one of us down yeah if
you flag oh shoot so much advanced the other day and I forgot to get there
exactly Humble Brack oh my god so well recognize me at Vaughn also yeah for sure
go to Ralph's we're not sponsored by Vaughn's now Vaughn's is better uh yeah
but yeah if you find I because I know some of you people have stopped me I found
me how am I humble break and you're asking making sure people recognize you
now so they can go to the show I don't walk around going I'm Brad Pitt I'm Brad
Pitt you guys can't find Cloud on public because she is in this house I'm a
recluse she only works with Gilbert or myself yeah you guys always send me
videos of with people that recognize you and I that has not happened to me not
one time thing I think cuz we maybe cuz we're like f-level celebrities you're
considered like an a-lister so like shut the fuck are you crazy I would walk up
to Andy Milanakis but I would not walk up to Denzel Washington you're a Denzel
Washington look you're not a star oh my god look the reason it never happens to
me is because I just don't go to public spaces except when you're benching 450
yeah in my own home gym in my sister's garage Jesus okay yeah those okay April
27th that's a Thursday correct the location will be given specifically to
those after we choose you we'll let everybody who's been chosen known no
probably five days in in advance so if you're not in LA LA and if you're
driving time to plan yeah yeah so we give you a few days to plan it's probably
going to be in the Burbank area ish yeah Burbank area yeah yeah so anticipate
that make sure we'll have it see how we just came up with that cuz we're we're
cool we're quick but we will post this on Instagram and Twitter just so you guys
have a and the website too so you guys know what to do yeah also we just
recently had a picnic on Sunday the pink dick picnic and it was a success a
success so thank you guys thank you guys for coming to a picnic I wasn't
initially invited to George denied by Kalyla he didn't invite us until I know
he didn't invite us until I was like hey what's that picnic and so we didn't show
up so he want to build interest because you didn't show interest at first then
no we just weren't you know part of the whole family funding that's okay it's
okay but everybody who showed up was super nice so thank you thank you guys I
think everybody that's gone go went to the picnic is coming to the live show
right yeah sure okay so we already met them okay cool cool what else do we have
guys and the old story I've got a mystery that I want solved because I
Eskimo fuckers oh we've lost her so if anybody doesn't know Eskimo fucker
has been with us from the beginning and done some of the best art that we have
and she's animated a few things for us all the yeah a lot of and a lot of our
art a lot of our stickers are done by her and she has gone MIA her Instagram
account is nowhere to be found we don't know her first and last name we don't
have she is an enigma it's her her her email account is a throwaway email
account just for this so yeah she never checks that so if anybody knows Eskimo
fucker and what happened to the Instagram account let us know we'd like to find her
all we know is that she's a girl let's solve this mystery come back to us please
and if Instagram shut down your account just make another one yeah everyone
will refollow you we miss you and yeah I do have an address I need to send a
maybe a postcard to to make sure see if anything's happening but maybe yeah come
we should send her if you have an address that's hers send her a note they
come back to us yeah maybe she'll take the bait so tiger belly fam help us with
this mystery what if she just heard something on the podcast that she didn't
agree with because I know that she's really fond of animals and all every all
the money that she we wanted to pay her she was like hey pay the world wildlife
super foundation instead so maybe we said something about animals that she
didn't like and she was like fuck you people that would be the negative way of
thinking well that's always where I go I know my therapy says that's why I have
cognitive behavioral therapy because I have to reframe my negative thoughts
always shout out to therapy get it get it if you need it CBT yeah I mean else
George on Reddit or call anything oh no guys never well I have one thing and
that's make sure you guys check out the frame bridge dot com promo code belly
frame bridge dot com promo code belly get your frame on you can follow us on
Instagram at a tiger belly on Twitter at the tiger belly and on Gmail at the
tiger belly at gmail.com yeah I mean that's it also shirts coming what oh
that's right cut them these these the slept king shirts slept slept king slept
king shirts are all done and we'll probably put them up on the site sometime
next week so keep an eye out for that be on the lookout be on the lookout for the
Instagram post we'll put the exact time that we're going to make the product
live so we only made a limited amount so yeah quick with it with this one we'll
sell it really quick that's to be on top of that follow Klyla on calamity can all
social needs George on whatever he's on just Instagram George underscore Kimmel
and then make sure you follow me at Jew men as what is it stupid that's Jenna's
account yeah check out her blogs are cool okay also I forgot that one more
thing what thing I'll announce it next no you have to do now no it's it's it's
Kobe's organization if you guys haven't already donated to nation
dash foundation a dot org it's an organization ran by our friend Kobe and
it helps kids in Uganda with all their scholastic needs so go to nation dash
foundation dot org and there's a direct link to donate and I thank you very much
if you do and that's it that's all we have for this week and we will see you next
week
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